#lol... omg it is laughable it makes me laugh

[maneatercore]

𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Elliot (euphoria) x reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : fem! reader, light smut, swearing, might leave u with blue balls idk

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : your boyfriend always seems to get you tangled in his mess, but makes it worth it in the end

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.5k

𝐚/𝐧: omg omg hiii- Thank you so much for my first ever request !! I’m not sure if this is what you were expecting but I hope you like it either way :’) I honestly just ran with it lol @sbbsnsnsnsmamamaa

Also!! Big shoutout to @sublimecatgalaxy for proofreading and helping me out sm with my first ever request! ur sweet words gave me sm motivation you have no idea! Ilysm <3 obviously follow her if you love elliot >:) cuz her fics are top tier fr

🎧 - dirty work by steely dan, devils advocate by the nbhd, playa shit by nxxxxxs, do what you want, be what you are by hall & oats

You slam your locker shut with a huff, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, the obnoxious fluorescent lighting of the hallways not helping at all with your impending headache. You finally manage to open your eyes again only for you to be interrupted

“Y/n have you been listening to me AT ALL?!?”Jules. Ah, sweet, sweet Jules, whom you unintentionally tuned out during your, probably, 50th yawn this morning alone. You huff, crossing your arms, looking up at her.

“I very much was actually!” i pause “But I wouldn’t be against it if you decided to repeat everything you just said. Ya know, just to make sure I got every detail down…” You say with a smile. Obviously not buying it, she glares.

Honestly though, you don’t know what she expected, especially when school started not even a few minutes ago. And here she comes barreling in, whisper yelling this whole long story with probably multiple layers and loads of gossip. On a usual day, you’d be very willing and very awake to hear her spiel, but today was different.

Different because on most days you’re usually not this sleep deprived from the night before. But with your amazing luck, a certain someone kept you awake all night. You’re honestly surprised, and kinda proud, that you didn’t end up saying “fuck it” and just staying in bed all day. But unfortunately for you, your sense of responsibility outweighs everything else. You’d like to convince yourself that you’re honestly not that sore this morning so—

“I’m literally only gonna repeat this again because I actually love you-“

“Awe Jules! I lo-“

“-Shush! Okay so-wait! Why do you look like that?”

“…Like what?” Your eyebrows scrunching. Looking down at yourself, a bit self consciously. Honestly, you thought your outfit was pretty cute so why-

“No! I mean you! Your face- You look like you got hit by a train and not the good kind.” You open your mouth flabbergasted, about to reply when she speaks up again. “I’m sorry, I’m just noticing it now, but with all the yawning and zoning out, is everything okay?? Do you wanna talk about it-”

''Jules, I'm honestly fine. I just had a long night is all.” With a huffed laugh, blushing a little unbeknownst to her. Leaning on her locker next to mine, she bites her lip looking at me, unconvinced.

“Okay well, you should know that I’m always here if you need it.” Smiling, you honestly felt touched by her concern but fuck, if only she knew. It’s kinda laughable she hasn’t figured it out yet, but you respond.

“Likewise. But for real, I’m good. You’d be the first to know if I wasn’t.” You rub her arm with a small smile. Still looking unconvinced, she walks towards you and pulls you forward into a tight hug, with her chin resting over your head.

“You’re literally so full of shit but… I’ll pretend to believe you for now.” You bark out a laugh, hugging her back just as tight. Pulling away, she looks down at you smiling “So, as I was saying-“ Seemingly out of nowhere, you both hear a bunch of yelling and the sound of rushed footsteps coming from the hallway behind you. You and Jules turn your heads, separating, confused as to what’s going on. Low and behold, it was Elliot of all people, being chased down by a small group of guys, running in your direction. By the time both of you processed what was going on, seemingly by the blink of an eye, Elliot was beside you guys hunched over, hands on his knees, panting. With a quirked brow, he looks up.

“Well, hello ladies.” He says out of breath. You and Jules share an impressed look and before any of you could even say anything he took off again only to backtrack. “Actually! I forgot something-“ he says while grabbing your wrist in a haste and suddenly pulling you with him. You stumbled forward, your shoes squeaking against the polished hall floor.

“Elliot, what the fuck-“

“Uh, no time to explain!.” Now running hand in hand, well mostly Elliot dragging you to god knows where, you stumble again, turning your head around to yell out.

“Text me!” Still hand in hand with Elliot, you managed to get a look at clearly annoyed Jules, arms crossed, frown adorning her pretty face. You shrug, smiling sheepishly right before turning a sharp corner. Now to matter at hand, you snap your head towards your absolute idiot of a boyfriend about to question, again, what the fuck is going on but your words get caught in your throat when you turn another corner, and get abruptly pulled into a closet. Elliot reaches behind you slamming the door shut and locking it. Still holding your hand, He turns his back leaning against the door, panting. And being completely honest, you might’ve found it a little hot, if it were under different circumstances. And if it weren’t for the fact that you are literally in a dark janitor's closet, still not aware of what the hell is going on. Repeating your sentiment loudly, “Elliot, what the-'' Before you can even finish he pulls you flushed against him, caging you against the door, while covering your mouth with one hand and holding your hip with the other.

All you get is a whispered “Shhhh!” So you look up at him, your eyebrows scrunching, giving him the dirtiest look you could muster. About to rip his hand off your mouth, you were stopped with the sudden noise coming from outside the door. You hear hurried footsteps approaching, and a muffled “where the fuck did he go?!” and a “I swear to god bro, the second I see him-” and a bunch of other obscenities. Tearing your attention away from the door you look up at him, giving him a questioning look. He ignores you, looking towards the door to your utter annoyance.

After a bit of commotion, the noise outside starts dying down and the footsteps start retreating. Sounds of irritated murmurs and annoyed sighs are heard from inside the closet getting farther and farther away. And then you both were met with complete silence.

“Okay, I think we’re good.” Elliot says, looking down at you with a small smile. He goes to remove his hand from your mouth, but before he could you bit him. “Ow! What the fuck-“

“Funny! Because I’ve been trying to ask you the same god damn question! What the fuck Elliot? Why are we in the janitor's closet?!”

“Baby, I can explain-“ You scoff, with your hands on your hips not believing for a second that whatever explanation he has will justify everything that just went down. But regardless, you end up giving him a look, saying to just get on with it already. “So, you know how Rue, Jules and I are playing truth or dare?” You nod, already not liking where this was going. “Well, I was dared to go up to this random guy and say some weird shit.”

“Oh god, okay? What did you say”. Elliot sighs, telling you and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Yeah, yeah it’s hilarious. But I guess I hit a nerve, since he and his friends chased me again after spotting me…”

“Wait so this is like an ongoing thing?”

“I mean, I guess? But I haven’t been caught both times so-“ He says with a shrug, smirking. Rolling your eyes you reach out and punch his arm. “Ow! Why are you hitting me! It’s not my fault he’s ashamed of his kinks!”

“Elliot, oh my god-“ Exasperated, you let out a huff about letting things go but something didn’t add up. “Wait, so what does all of this gotta do with me then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, why did you basically kidnap me, in the middle of the hallway??” Elliot let’s out scoff,

“Kidnap you? What?! Last time I checked people who get kidnapped aren’t going willingly, and you were very willing”

“I literally had no idea what was going on! I basically had no choice! But either way, it doesn’t justify doing all this. What aren’t you telling me?” You knew Elliot like the back of your hand so you had an inkling that he wasn’t sharing the complete truth with you and you needed to get to the bottom of it. No matter how dumb it may seem. He ends up biting his lip, turning his face away, suddenly getting all shy- Wait what?

“Hey, Ellie, look at me?” You say softly, turning his face towards you, so you could meet his eye. You both share a brief moment of eye contact, and then he huffs, giving in.

“So while I was running for my life-“ you snort “I may or may not have gotten a look at you and Jules…sharing a moment”. You were confused, till it dawned on you.

“You mean, you saw us hugging?”

“A very intense hug if you ask me.” Giggling, you tangle your fingers with his.

“Awe, baby were you jealous?” You say teasing him, not able to keep your shit eating grin to yourself. He gives you a deadpan look at your tone, but then proceeds to groan when you decide to lean up and give him a bunch of lingering kisses on his face, going down to his neck. Sliding your hands under his shirt to wrap your arms around him, resting your chin on his chest looking up, giving him a doe eyed look. He caves.

“Ugh, stop- don’t do that! Okay okay! So maybeee I was a little jealous- but I just missed you is all.'' Sighing he pulls you closer, resting his head against yours, you smile.

“Miss me? You say that like you didn’t fuck me on basically every surface of your room last night-“ He lets out a long groan “for hours may I add. To the point where I was so out of it this morning that Jules noticed.”

“Damn princess, I affected you that much?” He breathes out, fingers digging into my sides.

“Well duh, we both barely got any sleep last night thanks to your insatiable ass.”

“Well you sure as hell weren’t complaining last night-“

“ugh, shut up”

“I will, for a kiss” Begrudgingly you give in, despite knowing it’s downhill from here. You don’t like to admit it, but you never seem to be able to say no when it comes to Elliot. All self control gets thrown out the window along with common sense and rationality. You’d like to think he feels the same way. Speaking from the fact that he usually can’t go two seconds without having his hands on you or with his tongue down your throat. You're not complaining though. Especially not now, when he's kissing you, like his life depends on it. Hands rubbing down your sides, slowly making their way down while your hands are tangled in his bleached curls. You melt into his touch, humming onto his lips. His fingers trailing up your skirt. Your gasp very quickly turns into a strangled moan when he abruptly cups your ass, squeezing hard, rubbing himself against you. The air suddenly charged between you two as he hoists you up from the back of your thighs carrying you to a seemingly abandoned desk. He sets you down, your legs instinctively wrapping around him as he deepens the kiss. You manage to pull away for a second for some air, Elliot taking the opportunity to trail kisses down your neck lower and lower, the tips of his fingers grasping the ends of your tank top and pulling it off in a swift movement. The sight of your cute bra alone making him groan, settling on his knees resting his head on your lap. “I swear, you're trying to kill me woman” You huff out a laugh at his reaction truly not expecting it. A sheepish ‘sorry’ comes out of your mouth, you both knowing you truly don’t mean it. As torturing him was one of your favorite pastimes. Deciding to fuck with him even more, you lick your lips, spreading your legs a little farther and leaning back with your arms behind you.

“It’s a matching set by the way.” you say biting your lip. Another pained groan leaving his lips.

“You're honestly not making this easier for me, baby”. Ready to give a snarky remark you’re abruptly cut off by him rubbing your slit over your panties. You gasp, your breathing starting to get labored as he starts applying more pressure. Using his thumb, he starts rubbing you, drawing slow circles on your clit over your clothed core. You start trembling, sensitive from the previous night's endeavors. Not letting this deter you from teasing him, you manage to let out a breathy “We're still in school ya know…like in public.” Your words contradicting your actions as you slip your manicured nails into his curls and pull him closer to where you need him most. He laughs, breathe going straight over your still covered center making you shiver once more. While looking up at you he smacks his lips.

“I really don’t care, you look hot and I’m trying not to fuck you sensless right now.” You internally groan, trying not to give in. Just as you were about to respond though, the bell rings, startling you from your haze, Signaling the start of your first period. With a sigh, you look around trying to find your shirt. Once locating it, you slip it on only to be met with Elliot's pouting face.

“Awe cmon, don’t look at me like that.” Trying to get down from the desk, Elliot stops you, standing up in between your legs again to kiss you sweetly, hands cupping your face. He pulls away, rubbing your cheek with his thumb

“It’s hard not to when you look like that.” Ducking your head to hide your blush you push him away, finally making your way off the desk. Adjusting your clothes and hair one last time before heading to the door ignoring him. “Y/nnnnn.”

“Elliot we’re both late as is and you & I both know you can’t afford to skip.” With a pout seemingly permanently stuck on his face, he walks up from behind you hugging you.

“But I have a problemmm” He whines, rubbing his prominent bulge against your backside. Rolling your eyes, acting as if it isn’t affecting you either-you turn around, looking up at him and give him a peck on the lips between each word.

“Not.My.problem” You sing song. And to that he lets out frustrated noise, followed by a huffed out ‘bitch’ under his breath.

“You love it though.” With a defeated sigh and a nod of his head, he responds.

“I do…I do”. And all Elliot could think about while staring at your thighs from under your skirt as you leave—is how much of a punishment you’re in for once you get home. Which isn’t helping his impending problem down there at all. But he honestly can’t wait.

#elliot x reader #euphoria fanfic #elliot euphoria #euphoria imagine #elliot euphoria x reader #fan fiction #fanfic #fez x reader #fezco x reader #my writing #euphoria season two

[jiminrings]

omg omg omg... what if jk sees yn WALKING TAE HOME?? like it looks like that but they’re just passing by his place or something and he’s actually walking yn home ?? and to make matters worse jk THOUGHT it wasn’t like that but someone told him “oh yeah she’s walking him home, she’s always done that with him” sorry if it’s not an original idea

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

it’s raining at a party and jungkook gets the wrong idea

“good evening.”

yoongi sQUAWKS at the shock that’s mere inches away from his face, having only woken up from his afternoon nap that ended up with him waking right before dinner

why were you all up in his face

what the fuck was that for ://

“god, never do that to me again,” he grumbles at the abrupt awakening even if it’s his system that told him to, only a convenience that you happen to be there when he was starting to shift in his now-shallow slumber

“guess what!!!”

oh you’re squealinG??? alright that must be good

it’s nice to hear you excited anyways because you haven’t been for a long time ever since j*ngkook lol

“just show me,” yoongi sits up fully from his position on the couch, rubbing the remaining sleep off his eyes

normally, you would be pissed instantly because him not guessing just spoils your whole excitement

but tHIS time you don’t look bothered at the slightest, proceeding to take his faux disinterest in stride

the door clicks open and seokjin strides in like he owns the place, trying to immerse himself in the situation he’s walked on as fast as possible

you squeal in regard, eyes now switching between him and yoongi before you whip out something from behind your back

“i got a lunchbox!!!!”

you thrust the lunchbox (you recreated it in the way you receiver it) to yoongi’s face and he flinches momentarily, eyes focusing on the lunchbox first before his mind processes your words

“that is a really shiny scarf it’s — wait what??”

you,,, gOT A LUNCHBOX????

..... and it’s not from him??

yoongi looks at seokjin and the way he looks perplex but definitely sure confirms that it isn’t him either

“so someone — you received a lunchbox. huh.”

WOOOOOOW

you nod earnestly, admiring the shiny scarf and the handiwork of an embroidery that’s your name on it

“yup! i was with taehyung when i noticed it on the corner of the room.”

oh god

seokjin scratches the back of his head and it’s a dead giveaway that yoongi notices, something sketchy definitely up in the air that shouldn’t be there

“yoongi! come here for a sec. i have a uh, question about weed :-)”

jin is nOT good when it comes to segues

he takes the liberty to pull aside a yoongi who has question marks knitted on his eyebrows, his gaze immediately trained on him once they’re far enough away from you

“long story but!!!!! that jungkook kid gave y/n the lunchbox. taehyung just happened to be there.”

you see

yoongi could only digest multiple things from a single sentence at once

but the problem is, he’s digesting EVERYTHING from jin’s sentence and he didn’t want to

he’s just gonna omit the parts he hates the most :D

“y/n. taehyung gave you that lunchbox. say thank you to him tomorrow morning.”

NO??????

jin sputters because that is clearly not the truth he’s just said

and apparently, you seem to think so to because you just laughed at his cutthroat statement

“no he didn’t,” you heartily laugh, putting down the lunchbox before crossing your arms across his chest

no way

both jin and yoongs freeze this time because does that mean you already know who gave the lunchbox to you??

and if you know who, and if you’re laughing right now,,,, does that mean you’ve already forgiven jungkook????

pls say no

“i already thanked taehyung, yoongs,” you smile at the fresh memory, “but two seconds later, he told me that he WASN’T the one who made it for me. he said he’s good at baking, but horrendous at cooking!!!!”

...

.....

“....... so you really don’t know who it is?”

“nope! not a clue :D”

whew

yoongi thinks you should never get to know who it is

jin thinks you shouldn’t know who it is tHIS early

yoongi dodges the topic easily to refrain from dwelling on it any longer, about to send an angry text full of queries to jin later on

“mmm. what was the lunch?”

“my favorite!!!” you beam and even whip out your phone to show them the picture of the food you ravaged hours ago

you turn your eyes to jin, giddy in excitement while yoongi’s holding your phone-holding hand to zoom into the picture

“and it’s just like your recipe!!!”

.. hehe

..... that’s because it his

goddamn jungkook managed to recreate it like his recipe???? hmm commendable

alright yoongi’s angrily looking at him rn

maybe he’ll send an angry paragraph text this time >:(

“weren’t you concerned like... since you don’t know the person? what if they poisoned your lunch?”

yoongi suggests in an attempt to make you think rationally, away from his insistence that you should nEVER know that jungkook made you your favorite

“then i got a good meal out of it.”

:O

that’s not,,,, that’s not a good answer

b-bestie ??????

both yoongi and jin are speechless and the former takes the lead once more, clearing his throat because the conflict of this lunchbox thing is presenting makes his head ache

“anyways, there’s another party tonight.”

you raise your hand quick in the prospect of unwinding for free

“i’m in!!”

“you should be. hoseok’s the host.”

that makes it even better!!!

it apparently doesn’t for mr. student affairs because jin groans in annoyance, not really digging his school official position because he’d need to sit this one out forcibly :///

“goddamn it. jung’s throwing it? his parties are sO good that it even reached our radar when i was still a senior!”

it it reaches senior-level status of approval then that’s like,,,, the only seal of approval you’d ever need

“no way,” you’re awed at the newfound fact, not expecting that hoseok was already an A+ party-thrower even before he became a senior this year

“even namjoon liked his parties.”

namjoon THEE student registrar??? the same namjoon as in your friend by extension because he’s sort of a friend to seokjin???? :O

“really? even namjoon found his parties great??? BUT HE’S LIKE-“ yoongi finds the right substitute words to a stick up his ass in the most respectful way possible because he’s sort of friends with the guy too, “he’s like namjoon,, he’s the antithesis to hoseok.”

jin shrugs because everyone knows the saying at this point

there’s something for everyone at jung’s

“wear a face mask?” yoongi suggests to jin so he wouldn’t be recognized, knowing he’s a lil upset that he can’t come to this party because the face he boasts about is known by everybody

“no. i’m gonna look like a fucking narc, yoongi.”

alright that makes sense

he bounces back from that, waving his hand to shoo you and yoongi off

“sucks. yeah whatever. i’ll hold the fort down, just don’t do anything stupid enough for me to pick you up.”

:)

you’re not gonna do anything stupid!! :)

jungkook’s too down to even focus at the moment

he’s at his desk and he’s supposed to study for a test tomorrow, and all the material needed for it is engraved in his mind already, but well

yeah his mind’s only fixed on you right now and not chemistry

“she thought it was someone else who gave her the lunchbox.”

jin flinches as his door bursts open, his lunch break sign posted rIGHT outside the door to avoid things like these happening

oh it’s jungkook

oh. it’s jungkook ://

“i keep telling you that counseling’s right next door, kid.”

jin himself digs the running joke but jungkook apparently doesn’t, a sorrowed look to his face that can’t be fixed by some teasing

jin ignored that obviously because it’s not like he’s on jeon’s side!! he’s just here to be as neutral and realistic as much as possible

“and besides, it’s not like you put your name on it, right?? wasn’t that your whole purpose? do it to her like she did to you?

”m-my name...,. i’ll put my name...?”

WAIT HOLD ON

jungkook jolts from his desk, an epiphany forming in his mind

he may not have understood the interaction he had with mr. kim hours ago, but after replaying it in his head for hours now (along with that part of you mistaking taehyung to be the giver), he fINALLY gets an idea

he rushes out of his room and right to the couch where jimin’s sprawled out and watching a movie

“hi jimin!!! is there a party tonight?”

jimin almost falls out of his seat from the surprise of seeing jungkook altogether, gripping his chest

“f-fuck! — yeah. yeah dude, there’s a party tonight...?”

wait why is he asking

“o-okay!! take me with you.”

WHAT

jimin’s surprised that jungkook wants to come with, let alone even ask in the first place

buuuut jimin’s a good friend and he’ll say his assurances first before he gets to asking the why aspect to this

“alright. by the way about last time, kook — i swear i won’t leave you alone this time!! i’m gonna hold my alcohol in and-“

“no, no!” jungkook interrupts and shakes his head strongly, spooking jimin for a second with how determined he looks

“you can leave me alone at the party!! i-i’ll be there on my own.”

this is his idea

he’s a man with a plan!!! he’s also a man who has your eyedrops and the various containers he made with it inside his gigantic hoodie pocket

he’s more comfortable now than he was the first time he came around at a party

he knows you’re here somewhere along the crowd and that alone brings him comfort :-)

“i’m gonna go outside. these vape juices are annoying.”

you huff the moment you get a whiff of sriracha-flavored vape juice one more time, the whole area where you happen to sit in being the most annoyingly-scented room in the whole house

who does that!!!!! who gets condiments as their fucking vape juice!!!!!

yoongi waves you off as he’s also nearing his limit too, his peeve being mint chocolate juice and he’s gonna dip as sOON as this dude at the corner tries blowing it into laughable smoke rings again

yeah that’s what fresh air smells like alright

.... and rain??

it’s raining???

wow you haven’t even noticed and practically no one else did

hoseok’s sound system must be too good for none of you to notice that it’s raining outside!! a light shower that looks like it’s gonna turn into buckets within a matter of minutes

“Y/N!!!”

a voice yells into the street and your eyes widen with how loud it is, squinting your eyes hard to try and see the source

is that-

“TAEHYUNG?!?!”

is he running towards you??

wait why is he running towards you

(tae actually found out about this party through yoongi and he heard that there were non-alcoholic jello shots and mini cake hors d’oeuvres which are his favorites so he’s sprinting)

the way that he’s running towards you and the water that puddles when he steps gives you anxiety, a worried lilt to your yell

“TAE?? BE CAREFUL IT’S-“

taehyung can’t register what you just yelled out because before he knows it, he slips

he slips suddenly in the rain and there’s a harsh twist to his ankle in doing so that makes him choke out

“WHAT DID YOU — FUCK!!^]%{^]”

oh my god

you grab the nearest umbrella in the rack from your right, speed-walking to where taehyung’s fallen on the ground

he’s visibly startled, blubbering when you get to him

“i-i’m not crying. it’s the rain.”

of course :-)

you lift taehyung without much help from him since it’s hard for him to shift his body weight into one foot, putting yourself underneath his arm

“yeah, i believe you,” you smile as to comfort him and he returns it in relief, knocking the side of his head to the top of yours because his adrenaline’s through the roof

“i’ll walk you home. or to the emergency room. your call.”

“ER please??? god, m-my roommate’s into crystals and i don’t think amethyst can help me with this.”

yeah lmao that’s your cue to start walking

you text seokjin to meet you at the hospital instead of here, having to consider the fact that an official from student affairs is picking you up and is indeed your best friend being enough of a shock for poor taehyung at the moment

jungkook’s been looking for you for the past minute ever since you stood up from the couch, following you out the door but uh,,, you’re not here??

who is here?

oh wait!!! that’s vernon at the bench by the front foor!!! he’s from his stem class :D

“was that y/n? a-and taehyung?”

jungkook doesn’t beat around the bush because he’s sort of friends with the guy too, the same guy who’s a lil giggly with the daiquiris at the moment

“hey jimin!! what’s up dude? yeah, that was y/n and taehyung.”

uhm what

jimin’s BLONDE!! how could he get mistaken for jimin?

jungkook ignores the mistaken identity, eyes anxiously pointing towards the road again

“she’s walking him home?”

“totally. she’s always done that with him.”

what

..... what

he’s trying to trust it on good faith that vernon absolutely doesn’t know what he’s talking about

jungkook’s hurt but god does that pain shoot through him instantly, getting out of the porch wistlessly

wAIT

that’s you!!! that’s still you!!!!

and you’re-

????

you’re holding up taehyung and he’s limping

your ears pick up on the sudden running behind you and that pANICS you and in turn panics tae

but that doesn’t matter

it shouldn’t.

the cabs are atleast three more blocks away and neither of you brought a car because the dorms are walking-distance

everyone that’s left at the party has got to be too intoxicated to even put a key in the ignition

the weight on your shoulder eases and it makes you stop in your tracks to see if tae’s suddenly regrouped

is that —

jungkook lifts taehyung by his other arm, the light shower of rain making his hair damp without an umbrella like yours

“taehyung’s hurt.”

it only registers now that you’re seeing jungkook and he’s right here, surprising you as a whole

jungkook’s as startled as you are, swallowing the nervousness upon seeing you to get his words out

“a-and i wanna talk to you.”

#wHAT SHOULD HAPPEN AT THE NEXT UPDATE OMG #stem koo #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook drabble #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff

[birlcholtz]

Bittydex??? (Also your bitty/holster and bittyrans hcs were works of art)

omg. the baking duo. i don’t think i’ve ever like seriously thought about them but NOW I AM AND I LOVE IT HERE GOES

dex is originally wary of bitty for a lot of reasons but a big one is that bitty is openly gay and cute and thus firmly jeopardizes dex’s ability to stay closeted/repress everything for his entire time in college. oh boy.

but of course, eventually he’s like y’know what fuck it whatever bitty’s cool i can do this

and as he gets to know bitty, it’s almost laughable how different they are, but dex eventually kind of internalizes the correlation between baking and being openly gay (for bitty) as a kind of... causation? like, maybe he can get more confident about himself if he embraces baking too. is this good logic? i actually have no idea dex is tired let him live

so anyway that’s what has him, only about a month into his first semester (listen everyone on the team is so goddamn supportive of bitty and dex sees how much he loves being here and!! he wants that too!!! so yes he gives up on the whole ‘repress’ thing very fast), poking his head into the kitchen when he hears bitty opening and closing the fridge in a pattern that means he’s getting out ingredients and asking if he wants help

bitty is all in favor of literally anything dex does that isn’t fighting with nursey and he’s also glad that dex is seeking him out, because come on bitty has heard from nursey about the adventure with the samwell republicans sticker and even though it’s gone now he can’t help being a little concerned?

so dex asking if he can help with the baking is good for both of them honestly

bitty immediately sets him to cutting up fruit and they talk a bit as they work but mostly it’s just kind of a comfortable quiet (not silence because bitty’s got some music playing, but quiet is different entirely)

bitty eventually finds out through some subtle comments on dex’s part that his family is absolutely rampant with toxic masculinity and homophobia and that for dex, literally baking in and of itself, not just slice and bake cookies but actually baking something from scratch and spending time in the kitchen willingly, is an act of rebellion

it’s a lot easier for dex to find out that bitty’s relationship with his parents is a tiny bit strained because he’s not out at home, because bitty talks about his mother so much that it’s easy to infer. sometimes he tells dex about something his father did that his mother told him about. he never seems to talk to his father though

so baking becomes a kind of... alliance, i guess? the two of them are united. bitty does have his suspicions about why, perhaps, dex is so keen on getting to know bitty in particular-- his comments about the homophobia in his family make bitty even more suspicious-- but he doesn’t say anything. that’s not for him to ask about.

(chowder and nursey know that dex bakes with bitty a lot. chowder is glad because it means the baked goods get produced faster and he’s also glad that dex is spending time with bitty because he always seems more relaxed afterwards and it really does help stop him and nursey from fighting. nursey is intrigued because he’d thought after taddy tour (and after the first couple weeks of their first year) that dex would avoid bitty like the plague. he’s curious enough to accept that maybe dex has hidden depths. that also helps with the fighting.)

when they go home for winter break, dex and bitty agree to contact each other if they need to vent or just talk to someone they can relax around. neither of them has any legit emergencies, but they do text a lot and call each other a few times. bitty sends a picture of a pie, dex responds with ‘god i wish it’s so weird not being in the kitchen all the time. my brother gives me weird looks’ and bitty immediately starts compiling recipes for them to make as soon as they’re back at samwell

dex fixes the oven for the first time of many and bitty is so thrilled that he just kind of throws his arms around dex, who freezes for a second before letting himself hug bitty too (honestly i don’t remember if this happens before or after winter break but either way. same thing applies)

and in spring semester dex becomes fully aware that he has a problem. which is that spending time in the kitchen has changed from a hope that it’ll help him feel able to be more open to just wanting to see bitty, and be around bitty, and hear bitty’s voice and the casual endearments he throws around like they’re nothing and the way he puts a tense hand on dex’s arm while they’re both watching the oven to see if it’s going to actually preheat, and his smile and compliments when dex does something right and the way he flicks water at dex right after he washes his hands to get him to laugh, and the way he slides on oven mitts with the same calm efficiency that he steps onto the ice for warmups and dex is fucked. okay?? he’s fucked. the whole reason he’d been wary of bitty in the beginning was because he was worried about falling for him and guess what??? he did

but at the same time, dex can’t make himself shove it down. he’s still not out at samwell, but he’s getting to a point where he feels like he might be comfortable with that. bitty is probably tied with chowder for being his closest friend. dex can’t find it in himself to push all of that away.

as for bitty, he’s gone from being pleasantly surprised that dex is a fairly quick learner in the kitchen to looking forward to baking with him. dex always relaxes when he’s there, and bitty is sure that dex doesn’t know this, but he’s beautiful when he’s not so goddamn stressed. but at the same time, bitty knows dex is Going Through It with regards to sexuality-- he’s gone from being suspicious that maybe dex isn’t straight to knowing it but still waiting for dex to say something himself. so he keeps those thoughts to himself but it’s nice to see dex smile. especially when bitty knows he caused that

also dex keeps fixing the oven over and over and bitty knows that dex bakes a lot too so like. he has selfish reasons to fix the oven? but dex will LEAP to fix the oven if something is wrong with it and when he figures it out he always gives bitty this relieved smile that bitty is finding makes him increasingly flustered.

in the midst of all of this, dex is consulting with the upperclassmen about the best kind of oven to get bitty for his birthday. it’s a little over a month away, but between jack, ransom, and dex, they’re probably going to be incredibly overprepared because it’s what they do

in early april, dex pushes a bowl of sliced cherries over to bitty and says, ‘i’m gay.’ and bitty leaves the cherries where they are and hugs dex as tightly as he can, because he knows how long it’s taken dex to be ready to say that and he knows that in not very long, they’re both going home to places where they don’t know if they can ever say that

they stand there like that for a while, and dex doesn’t cry, but he almost does, and that’s when he says, okay, let’s bake this pie. and bitty agrees. (when it’s cooled, they eat almost half of it themselves before telling anyone else there’s pie)

baking together feels just a tiny bit different after that. not bad-- not bad at all. just a bit different. dex coming out changes their dynamic a little, because it means bitty finally lets himself acknowledge that he’s kind of got a huge crush on him, and then bitty basically can’t stop the endearments from coming out of his mouth. he tries to keep it to things he also says to the rest of the team-- mostly ‘hon’ and such-- but dex catalogues every sweetheart that slips out, and he knows he blushes, and both of them can’t help but feel that they’re dancing around something

then bitty’s birthday arrives, and dex installs the oven as quickly as he can while still double- and triple-checking things, and he’s just standing up and packing his toolbox back up when bitty and nursey enter the kitchen, and dex can’t help but blush when bitty looks at him like he hung the moon

and then bitty hugs him and dex hugs him back so hard that bitty is lifted off of the ground, and the rest of the team looks at each other like are you seeing this too??? because literally none of them noticed anything except that dex likes baking almost as much as bitty does. nobody realized there might be another reason lol

and both of them, independently, think that this might be the moment. but then the moment passes, and then they’re taking finals and getting ready to go home for the summer, and dex and bitty make the same promise they did over winter break but there’s more of a sense of urgency about it.

at first, they call each other once a week, just to keep up. bitty learns dex has taken to hanging out with his high school sort of-girlfriend, who’s got super short hair now and introduces him to hayley kiyoko’s music, and his family probably thinks they’re dating again but mostly they just wander around when neither of them has work, or they hang out in each other’s rooms (with the doors open, because of household rules). in july, she whispers to dex about her girlfriend in new hampshire and dex, that night when both of them are at home, texts her about his... well, bitty. whatever he and bitty are to each other (he also shows her a picture of bitty and she’s like oh he’s cute and dex is like yeah he really is)

the first person dex sees when he gets back to campus that august is chowder, who’s on his way to the haus after walking with farmer to the volleyball house. they’d been on the same flight back and have spent the whole last week together, along with plenty of other visits and trips with each other over the whole summer, and dex’s whole chest aches with how much he wants that. and yeah, it’s different for chowder and farmer, who live an hour away from each other in california and can see each other basically whenever they want, but chowder talks about how much his sisters love farmer and how their families got together for the 4th of july and dex aches.

they get to the haus, and everyone who’s arrived has congregated in the kitchen, where bitty is making a strawberry rhubarb pie dex has made with him at least five times. it’s second nature to come into the kitchen and head straight for the counter. bitty passes him the filling ingredients without a word, but with a smile, and keeps going. (the rest of the team trade looks)

but dex feels daring. all that talking to chowder about farmer has made him envious. so later, when most of the team is in the living room chatting about their summers and bitty’s headed upstairs to plug his phone in, dex slips out of the living room, heads upstairs, and knocks on bitty’s door. and bitty opens it and puts a hand on dex’s arm almost automatically when he asks how his summer was, and maybe that’s why dex feels bold enough to say, ‘it was okay. but i missed you.’

and bitty smiles softly at him and says, ‘i missed you too.’

the next time they’re watching the oven to make sure it preheats-- the new oven is actually functional, so it’s more habit than anything-- dex feels bitty’s hand slip into his own, and he immediately looks at bitty, who’s determinedly looking at the oven, and squeezes his hand. and then bitty looks at him, and dex can’t help but smile

some headcanons:

dex is a master of identifying when someone is aiming to check bitty during a game and immediately just. getting in their way. he’s very obstinate

does dex enable bitty’s procrastibaking? more than he wants to. he’s fully aware when he gives in that he probably shouldn’t, but it’s very hard to keep bitty from doing something he wants to do

bitty always brings dex tea or hot chocolate or a snack if he’s studying or fighting with java in the computer lab. the other compsci majors are very jealous

bitty is also a great sounding board for dex when he’s trying to figure out how to solve problems. explaining the problem to someone who doesn’t know anything about coding is a time-honored tactic of programmers everywhere and bitty is always willing to listen

winter trips to murder stop ‘n shop inevitably result in bitty walking as close to dex as is physically possible. (’it’s COLD’ ‘sure it is’)

the kitchen becomes the place where people can automatically find both of them. they’re just there all the time

flannel stealing? flannel stealing. they always find their way back into dex’s possession soon enough, but not before bitty’s worn them enough that they smell like him

lardo gives her dibs to nursey because dex basically lives at the haus already anyway. he does still wind up converting the basement into another room though because he needs a place where he can get work done and any room that bitty’s in isn’t conducive to that. yes it still has a steam shower because dex is extra as fuck

with regard to fining the rest of the team, they absolutely have a good cop/bad cop routine worked out. who is which depends on the day

chowder: bitty’s officially gone mad with power. dex: yeah i kinda like it. chowder: keep it in your pants

#bittydex #omgcp #fun with rarepairs

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S4 Ep3 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Betty’s just sad because while he’s in the prep school she can’t control him.

- Getting really tired of the random sex scenes with Varchie. They’re cute, but—

- OH MY GOD MOOSE??? Also not Jughead hugging Moose as if he’s his best friend tho lol but aww Moose bettering his life I’m so SOFT HE SOUNDS LIKE A CUTIE I’M SO PROUD OF HIM!!! If only everyone else in Riverdale could do the same...

- I blame the poor agent being shot on you adding Betty into the investigation.

- We get a cute Choni scene that’s interrupted, of course. But at least we know who takes care of the twins when Choni’s at school. Nana has a loud ass scream damn the Blossom’s have to banshee’s lol… TRIPLETS?!!??! OH BITCHHHH THERE’S ANOTHER BLOSSOM ISN’T THERE.

- I hate that Veronica and Reggie act like they didn’t date it’s vv sad. I’m surprised they didn’t make the girls get into bikini’s but I’m glad they didn’t... still this is just—

- Betty, Edgar called you because he knows you’re a dumbass who’s gonna do dumbass things.

- Brett is a whiny bitch boy isn’t he… Jughead’s found his match huh lol

- “I could give you a crash course in five seconds.” Jughead acts like he’s so intimidating it’s hilarious

- TONI HIRING SOME HOT NIGHT NURSE LMAO THEY REALLY ARE A FUCKING MARRIED COUPLE

- MARMADUKE KNOWS HIS SEXUALITY LEMME JUST CRY

- Polly really let Edgar put a fucking bomb on her??? I know they’re all “brainwashed” but like………… imagine if they used someone Betty didn’t care about though like how different would it be lol

- WHY DOES BETTY TELL CHARLES TO GET BACK?!?!??!?!??!! BETTY YOU KNOW NOTHING. WHY DOES BETTY HAVE TO DO ALL OF THIS? WHY DOESN’T POLLY LET THE GUY WHO KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING DO THIS???? The Betty catering is strong and clear Jesus fucking Christ

- Donna reminds me of Toni and Veronica, aka two girls who vibe very well with Jughead. Please let her get with Jughead pLEASE

- MAD DOG,,, ARCHIE KNOWS THE FUCKING SHERIFF JUST LITERALLY TELL THE SHERIFF??? Thank God Archie actually said he wanted to go to FP

- Polly look’s good af damn

- GUYS STOP GOING TO VERONICA FOR MONEY SHE’S LITERALLY LIVING ON HER OWN

- Not the fucking eggs again… flashback to when Jughead stupidly kicked Choni out

- “I know people” TONI ACTUALLY BEING IN A PLOT???????

- See, Betty, this is why Edgar contacted you and not Charles, he knew you’d be this dumb to get him what he wants… please tell me she’s not as dumb as she always is and told Charles

- Oh yeah I forgot that Evelyn bashed her upside the head lol

- Why is Brett so threatened by Jughead he ain’t shit like chill bitch—

- NOT HIRAM AGAIN… JUST LET HIM ROT IN JAIL OH MY FUCKING GOD, JUST BECAUSE HE MADE THE FUCKING JAIL DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN LET HIM GO?????? HE WAS PUT IN THERE BY THE SHERIFF. This fucking show… is such—

- If you’re gonna let anyone out of that stupid jail, let Hermione out.

- Did Hiram just say that Veronica has sins? She’s done NOTHING except do your bidding fuck OFF

- So is Veronica gonna tell FP that a prisoner has escaped??

- It’s vv sad that the Serpents like don’t exist anymore…

- ARCHIE AND MARY HAVING A FIGHT NO :(

- Oh not vigilante Archie again NO ONE LIKED THIS PLOT PLEASE but at least he was smart enough to cover his face and hide his identity… last time he pulled a gun on SP and SP rightfully went to his house so like

- Also why is the arcade still opened this late

- Veronica is one of the nicest people in this show omg

- Varchie is so good and cute (but don’t worry I still ship Barchie much more)

- THEY WASTED HOW BEAUTIFUL CHERYL LOOKED ON A FUCKING CORPSE ARE YOU KIDDIING

- Monroe’s like “ahhhh Archie this dumbass…”

- Love Donna muah

- Betty “I’ll kill him” you’re not even scary stop

- … Edgar has a rocket? This fucking show—

- Tied to the bus as shield’s?? What are they going to be able to do while the bus is moving?????????

- TOODLES I fucking love Cheryl I CAN’T

- Why did Betty have to knock Evelyn out? Let Alice do bad ass shit! Betty is not bad ass, Alice is, just stop trying to make Betty cool because she’s not

- Can people stop trying to bring Veronica into crime like she said she didn’t and then she was forced.

- BETTY FUCKING KNOCKED FANGS OUT LMAOOOOOOOOOO I hate what they’ve done to my baby boy but I laughed so hard

- I know that every episode is laughable but this fucking episode is HILARIOUS

- Boss ass bitch Alice YES

- Mary 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 UGHDSHJFKSAKFGSAHFASGFHJGFAJSFGJSAF WE STAN THE GREATEST PARENT BYE

- WAIT SO HIRAM IS BACK IN THE JAIL—what even is this fucking show

- VERONICA LUNA??? NOOOOO BUT GOMEZ WAS SO GOOD—

- Toni knows now…. oh my god poor Toni

- But the thing is, why would anybody care about Moose’s father pretending to be the gargoyle king? And all of that? Anyways fuck Brett smh my boy Marmaduke did NOTHING

- Polly made a place where people can get better? Great, put basically all of the kids in there too!!

- If this is more black hood shit or something… NOT MORE BLACK HOOD SHIT OH MY FUCKING GOD

#Riverdale #Veronica Lodge #Archie Andrews #anti-betty cooper #anti-jughead jones #anti-bughead

[actualaster]

So I Saw Cats (2019)

...

And I actually had a lot of fun with it?

I mean in to in expecting a trainwreck and it kinda was but in a great way?

The CGI is laughably bad so often omg. LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN A PERSON BADLY PHOTOSPHOPS THEMSELVES INTO A PICTURE AND YOU CAN TELL? IT WAS LIKE THAT AT POINTS LMAOOOOO

Also the collars were badly edited onto them omg. I suspect I either saw the unpatched version or that quite honestly any fixes they make can't cover everything lol. I don't know which is better--that I saw the original or its unfixable and neither option says anything good about it but both make me laugh.

Also the sound was. I could only understand about 80% of the singing because the vocals and music just blended right into each other until it was an indistinguishable mess of sound.

Macavity's song was the best, probably because it was about the only one I could understand 100% lol. Also had least quick repetition, which personally just annoys me when it's the same line 50 times in a row but that's a personal preference and none of the song credits get to go to this specific incarnation if it SO THAT isn't REALLY PRAISE FOR THE MOVIE LMAO.

It really was Like That at points like I laughed when they're drinking from bowls and stuff, and god it was a beautiful mess, highly entertaining if you just want a laugh at something ridiculous and bad.

I'm actually assuming that if the CGI and sound differentiation was better the experience would be WORSE, which is saying something.

It wasn't as horny as I heard people making it out to be, but maybe that's just my harcore ace ass missing stuff lol.

Unrelated but I suspect I know where Tad William's got his naming style for cats so.

Overall I have to give it 2.5/5 stars I think.

#cats (2019) #kage watches cats (2019)

[thefudge]

thoughts on elite season 2

- idk why but i found this season more engaging than the first which i only watched fragments of because i couldn’t be arsed to care about certain plotlines, but season 2 made me care about almost everyone? well, almost. but it was far more compelling anyway. 

-lucrecia/lu is turning out to be a Problematic Fave. she’s probably one of the more complex characters on the show. despite how wretched she can be,  i like how deeply she wants to be “seen” and understood and i def felt bad for her about guzman (oh, and we’ll get to him, ugh). her back and forth with valerio was both compelling and a little frustrating (valerio himself was both compelling and frustrating). i don’t think the writers put that much thought into it, but i liked the undercurrent of sadness in their bond which was far more interesting than the forbidden aspect (but yea ok, that was also hot, yall know me lol). the actors sold it pretty well. and that oscar wilde quote <3 incidentally, valerio reminds me of a romanian actor/singer who also starred in an incest-based drama awhile back.  but i have to say, one thing that really jumped out at me is how much of a secret gay lucrecia is. she has so much gay energy with almost every girl she comes up against, rebeca and nadia especially, it’s insane. every time she interacts with one of the dudes it’s so weak (except with valerio, but that dynamic is not so straightforward). whenever i see her sexy-whispering to some guy it feels like she’s faking it, like she’s being a vindictive but ultimately domesticated doll. and i think she knows this too and the performance wears her down. whereas she seems to come alive with women. her obsession with being betrayed and ignored and unloved by men might also stem from the fact that no man can ever give her what she truly wants. she’s def closeted imo, and her lil friendship with omar makes so much sense in that context too. petition to give lu a gilfriend in season 3, preferably rebeca.  

- rebeca, however, is the true MVP of the season for me. omg. i love!!! her!!! so!!! much!!!  i was SO MAD everyone slept on this grl!!! she’s funny and smart and brash and loyal and sweet and justasdfgdfsda NO ONE DESERVES HER. i also think her chemistry with lu should be explored further. (i wanna write fic where rebeca and lu make out at the halloween party after lu gets dumped)

- polo is also a Problematic Fave, even though i hope he goes down lol. i really like how the actor plays him as both volatile and fragile, like a stubborn asshole but also a sniveling brat who wants to be “redeemed” on his own terms. 

- i  can’t say i cared all that much about cayetana and her “maria del bario” subplot, i mean i didn’t feel all that sorry for her, but i do like the sharp edges given to her character. and while polo/cayetana is not that interesting to me, their bonnie and clyde shenanigans promise to be a lot of fun. it makes a lot of sense that she would be the one to help him, not only because of his kindness to her, but primarily because she likes taking things. literally. she seems desperately hungry for whatever polo can offer. 

-  omar/ander was sweet as always, and i liked their ups and downs and their more emotional moments, but good god was ander a petty asshole. when omar dressed up as dr. frank-n-furter and ander was being a tool about it and the others were shaming him for, u know, having a cool costume for halloween, i was like “omar, bby, you gotta stop hanging out with uncultured swine”. that being said, ander keeping polo’s secret for so long beggared belief. i understand the impossible scenario he was in and i like that they showed the inner turmoil but...yikes, it’s murder, dude.

- samuel/carla was...fine. i liked some of their more intense scenes, feeding off each other’s anger, plus the manipulations and the mindfuckery, but it was still lacking in substance for me. i also think carla becomes less interesting around him, whereas samuel has sort of grown up this season. idk, i’m ambivalent. 

and finally...

- nadia & guzman. SIGHHHHhhhhhhhhh. the couple & characters i was most looking forward to ended up being the most disappointing part of this season for me. i kind of hate them now. okay, maybe not hate them, but i am deeply annoyed. i think nadia was poorly written this season. i have no clue who this girl is, what she really wants, what she believes in. she was made to react in a certain way or do things just to carry the plot forward or to give the viewers some steamy scenes. literally, i was so frustrated with her and the lack of internal logic. even her confession to her parents at the end and their heartfelt hug felt hollow and unearned. and guzman, oh gaaaawwwwd, this douchebag and his constant edgy angst, i get iiiiiit, we get iiiiit, i just wanted him to be dooone. i really disliked him, even when they were framing him as troubled romantic hero. the nadia/guzman scenes were absolutely rushed, i’m sorry. their first kiss??? while nadia was super drunk and we get that weird disco editing that hides both their faces and it’s so fake-artsy and devoid of feeling and underwhelming??? NOPE. i thought this would be a big deal for nadia, for both of them actually, but when i saw how quickly they rushed into it i was disappointed. most of their interactions lacked that special intimacy they had in season 1. like yeah, the chemistry was there, but the angst felt manufactured, cuz i guess both he and nadia have no problem cheating and doing whatever the hell they want.  i also found it laughable that not even 15 minutes into the first episode guzman immediately tells her about the deal he made with her father...which cheapened the whole thing. i really thought that deal would carry weight and mean something....welp, guess not. all the interesting and significant obstacles they built around these characters were now revealed as a deck of playing cards. when halfway thru the season guzman lamented how he couldn’t be with nadia due to societal constraints i laughed out loud because clearly, that’s a surface problem for them. nadia does not seem at all attached to her faith and culture, so really, what’s to stop them from being together? her family? i don’t buy it. and my problem isn’t that nadia wants to break away from her muslim heritage and be with guzman; my problem is that we don’t know what the hell she wants and it doesn’t seem to matter. once upon a time i thought she cared a lot about her schoolwork and future career...but that seems to take a backseat for the guzman drama. halfway thru the season she doesn’t hang out with rebeca and omar anymore, and it’s just...disheartening to see her be all about this really mediocre dude. not even her budding friendship with valerio goes anywhere, which was a shame. others have talked about the troubling narrative of “westernizing” nadia and portraying it as the solution to her problems and while i think the show isn’t ready to push that agenda, i also feel like they have no fucking clue who this character is. anyway, i will stop here, but i’m genuinely disappointed and idk if this can be remedied in season 3. 

so overall, i enjoyed this season more, but boyyy did it disappoint where i was most expectant 

#elite s2 #elite netflix #my thoughts #elite spoilers #i have good news and bad news lol

[muke-network]

What do you make of everything that happen with Michael tonight at the Dodgers Game?

Pretty much that’s how I feel about it but I’m sure you’re probably looking for a more in depth thought process so I’ll give it to you! I’m going to put it under a cut since there are images I’m going to be using.

Okay, let’s start with the pic that was on Michael’s IG story, which is this one:

First of all, I didn’t know that Michael was a sports fan, but I digress…sometimes we do things with our friends that we don’t necessarily enjoy but we end up having fun anyway because we’re with our friends. Now, even though I personally think Crystal is leeching off Michael’s fame for her own benefit she’s probably still a ‘friend’ to him so whatever. 

However, that’s not what I find particularly interesting about this pic. If you’ll notice the guy to the right is tagged as @tbdmarketing. We did a little research and found their IG which is HERE. From what I can tell, this is an entertainment advertising group and the guy in the Gifford jersey is Mike Gifford, the founder/president of the company. A quick look through their IG and it seems like they do all kinds of advertising; movies, sports, etc. 

So isn’t that just…interesting! We have Michael and his “squad” (seriously when has he ever talked like that??) and they’re all in Dodgers merch with the president of a marketing group. We even get a pic of Crystal and Mariah before the game, tagging the same marketing group. Feels good, right? Feels organic. 

Oh but it’s about to get so much more LOL worthy because then we get this tweet from Michael

Riiiiiiiiight. So a bunch of people are at this game and the field is doing a kiss cam and out of all of those people, MIchael and Crystal just happen to get on kiss cam? I’m freaking sure lol. Like totally no one set that up. 

Oh but it gets so much better! Because not only do we have Mystal on kiss cam oh so randomly but then we get this

Okay, at this point I’m just laughing at the utter absurdity of this entire situation. So now they’ve randomly gotten on the kiss cam and there just happens to be a random someone at the game who takes a pic of the big screen and sends it to her OMG BFF. 

REALLY??? Let me tell you something, if I’m just a casual fan of a celebrity then I’m likely not going to be able to pick them out of a crowd. Most people wouldn’t and especially not people who are native to Los Angeles. They literally see celebs on the streets every day and guess what? They. Don’t. Care. It’s not something exciting for them because they’re used to it. So someone please tell me why this person was able to pick Michael and Crystal (who is essentially a freaking nobody) out of an entire field. 

This is such a transparent stunt that it’s actually laughable. I could have maybe bought it (actually probably not but I digress) if they hadn’t been at this game with the president of a freaking marketing company. 

Everything about this just screams STUNT STUNT STUNT. The president of the company, the intentional kiss cam, the random BFF that took the pic, and then the IG account that posted about it. Like…come on. 

I don’t know how people swallow this garbage and don’t see how completely transparent this all is. 

And someone on IG made a good point in this screencap

The thing on her head was weird considering that before that she was wearing a Dodgers baseball cap but I guess it wouldn’t be easy to pic that out of a crowd of baseball fans for a kiss came.

In conclusion, this was a very obvious stunt and I’m literally just rolling my eyes at it. It’s sloppy af. 

Literally, I just want these people to stop leeching off the guys and at this point I’m just looking at them like

#mystal #pr stunts #tj answers

[constantlyranting]

12.31.20

Why is my issue with my parents always revolve around cleaning? Like I dont understand how they dont see the double standards they constantly do/did. First I dealt with this with my father when other people started coming in the house. I really had no ground to stand on then all I could do was just shut up and take it. Now dealing with it again with my mother but this time with my own god damn siblings. Its ridiculous. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO FEEL AS THOUGH THEY ARE THE MAID OR CLEANING MORE THAN THE OTHER. I tried talking to her about it but I dont think she fully understood where I was coming from. Let me start from the beginning cause this very much vague lol

So clearly it's new years eve and she's saying that she wants to have the whole house clean to bring in the new year. Alright that's cool I dont mind doing that. I dont mind cleaning. Where she went left is when she said that I was gonna have to help her and the kids clean their rooms. Um no ma'am. They dont clean up after themselves in general and you want me to clean up their rooms?? Absolutely not. I've seen her 'help' clean up their rooms and it's mainly her doing all the cleaning. Like I dont think they understand that they need to clean up after themselves cause she's constantly cleaning up after them. Always has been and doesn't seem any where near like she's gonna stop either.

After stating that she wants me to do that I expressed how I felt. I told her that I'm fine cleaning up the house, I dont mind doing that but I'm not gonna help clean their rooms when they dont even clean up bother to clean up after themselves at all. That's not gonna help them learn to be responsible for their mess. If they were, I think there would be less mess for both me and my mother to clean up after. Or even just to teach them just to fucking keep the house clean in general. If you see something, pick it up. I had to learn and they have to learn to. They won't learn if you keep doing it for them imo. And I also told her that I dont think it's fair that she's still cleaning their rooms either.

She took my response as only wanting to clean up my mess and not wanting to clean anything. Which is false. I am CONSTANTLY picking up after everybody in the house, herself especially included. But it goes unnoticed. But I dont do it to be noticed or to receive praise. I do it because I genuinely want to keep things clean and neat. Not for her. Just in fucking general. It kinda angers me that she thinks that way about me like she is genuinely holding on to this old ass image of me. She even brought up how my room used to look when she visited. But the last time she visited was when I graduated HS. I have changed SO MUCH since then and its ridiculous that she still looks at me in that light. She stills looks at me as a child I feel like. But she also wants me to be an adult while still treating me like a child like ???? What does one even do??

But anyways she said that she's sorry that I have trauma from cleaning that makes it feel like I'm a maid or something like that. Idk in the moment it kinda made sense but afterwards I'm just kinda like he didnt treat us like maids he just stressed the importance of a clean house. When it was just me and Mark splitting chores and Daddy coming helping clean on sundays or for parties, it was straight. I mean it sucked as kid cause I didnt get it then but it worked out for the better in the long run I think. If I have trauma of being a maid it would be from literally the past 2 yrs living with Eboney. Nothing to do with my father cause he's dead and before he died he really wasn't getting into me, at least, about cleaning like that. But she wasnt even there for the rest of that. She missed the part where I grew tf up. And I hate having to prove to other people what I already know and fully believe in myself so it's really annoying that's she's either testing me or correcting me.

I'm getting off track though cause that last sentence would just take me to a whole other discussion she had with me ( I say it that way cause I just let her talk and just said okay cause that's really all parents seem to want but again I'll get into that another post)

She basically wants the cleaning to be an everybody thing. She was saying how it shouldn't be an issue to clean areas that we all use ( I dont) and that it should be a team effort to keep the house clean (it isnt). She also believes herself to be the only one to ever clean up anything (shes not) and we, her children( myself included) dont clean up or care enough to want to clean (I care) but like I said earlier I'm not gonna pick up some trash or change the trash out or clean up after the dogs and go up to her afterwards like 'hey I cleaned up. See I did my part' cause I'm not doing it for recognition or praise but it seems like I need to do that in order for her to see that shes not the only one cleaning. It's like I need to do that so she doesn't start walking around saying yall dont ever do this or yall dont ever do that. Its hurtful especially if i literally just did the thing that's she complaining about. Like idk what she wants. And even more so how is it a team if you still make one person do more than the other members. They have zero responsibility. She holds them accountable to nothing. And then wonders why their not considerate for others but expect others to do for them like what did you expect when you raised children that expect you to do everything for them. Like I'm glad I wasnt raised by her honestly cause shes making them real fucking dependent on her but blaming them for it.

But you know what's sad is I haven't done what I usually do in a while because it honestly felt like I was the only cleaning frfr. Like I would go on a whole cleaning spree if I had the day off. Starting in the kitchen and cleaning everything from the microwave all the way to the corner where all the recycling goes. And that's including cleaning the trash and fridge and sometimes even he cabinets. I would do allllll that and the day would go by and then its dirty again (cause others 👀 dont clean up after themselves (not including novi)) and that's what she sees. And then its EVERYBODYs (myself especially for not immediately cleaning up after them AGAIN) fault and shes the only one that wants a clean house.

Like do you see the issue here???? Like its soo crazy it's almost laughable. Almost. It's more so like a 'omg this bitch is crazy' type laugh really 😂😂 like I can't I really can't. But I start work Monday and I'm bout to be working like crazy so I'll do what I can but she better start getting into them more cause I'm over it. I'm not gonna over extend myself just for you to still say I'm not doing enough. Fuck it. I dont care anymore. I can't.

[abnahaya]

Jesy Nelson and I Can Finally Look at Our Old Photos Without Feeling Bad

I’m not a famous person, I can still count how many cruel online comments that I get, but I remember them all. There was a time when I was a dancer in a nightclub and they uploaded my picture with my fellow dancer who was younger and cuter —according to society’s beauty standard, and many of the people made fun of my features. Or another time when I received a weird and offensive question on a social media platform about how I gained so much weight. Even though I know that these aren’t the slightest true statements, and that I shouldn’t think of them, I can’t erase them from my mind. I try not to dwell on them but it’s so easy to recall those moments in a flash.

Now imagine hundreds or even thousands of hates comments every day for five years.

A few days ago, I watch a documentary of Jesy Nelson, a personnel of British girl group Little Mix. I like Little Mix but honestly, I don’t follow their journey from the start, they just caught my attention when “Wings” was released. Apparently, ever since their X-factor days, Jesy had been bullied online because of her looks and it affected her a lot. It broke my heart when Jesy told the BBC three that on the night Little Mix won X-factor, she was actually sad and devastated, she didn’t care about winning, all she wanted was to go home, but she couldn’t destroy the joy of her fellow band mates. At that point, all the bullying had gotten inside her head, overwriting her own ideas of herself. Not even the achievement of her dreams could chase the fears away. In the documentary that left audience weeping —including yours truly, Jesy told how she couldn’t look at her old pictures and videos because of deep trauma they evoked. Even after losing weight and applying makeup, she still hated herself.

***

I remember when I met my teacher from Junior High School days and the first thing she told me was, “Oh you’re prettier now, you used to be pitch black” (not trying to be racist but she literally said the word). I told my mum and she laughed it off—because it’s true, she said. And even though deep in my heart I wasn’t flattered one bit by that statement, I had to brush it off and forcefully telling myself that I was at least getting better. But even so, I couldn’t bring myself to look at my old photos because I thought I looked horrible. I erased all the old profile pictures and hid the tagged photos on Facebook. One time my friend uploaded one of our old picture and I felt so disgusted with my own face —although all I said to her was: “OMG LOL”.

I must say I’m lucky I’m a nobody, because I can easily forget about the times those “bad memories” comes into surface and they don’t pop up that often if not because of Facebook Most of my friends were too busy with their life to reminisce the old days, and I wouldn’t even do it in a million years, or so I thought.  However, once it happens, it’s like watching a horror movie. I don’t want to see it, even the sound itself already scares me, yet everyone keep shoving it into my face and telling me to look until I have to peek from between my fingers. Usually ends up with me looking for a brief two minutes that feels so long, before I squeak and close my eyes again, hoping that the image that has been carved into my brain can disappear quickly. But of course, it doesn’t, instead it’s going to haunt me for a couple of nights and making me feel uneasy.

I hated looking at my own face because it reminded me of how “ugly” I was, that all the features I had back in the days were laughable. It also made me sad that I thought there were so many wonderful memories, great stories and experiences, yet what people would remember from me was just how unattractive I was. I know vividly that my look was a big insecurity for me in those years, and even though some of my closest people were cheering for me at that time, as time pass by, they said the same thing with the bullies. One time my mum told me that she mentioned the name Naomi Campbell the supermodel only to make me feel better, but she never thought that Naomi was pretty, she was just simply stating we share the same skin tone. She laughed again as she continued describing how silly I was to believe her so easily, and that my teacher was right.

I tried to laugh it off many times, too. After all, those time has passed. I am now good in applying makeup, knows what clothes to wear, and not as terrible looking as before. I have grown into an adult and expected to face “criticism” with grace and a light heart. I tried not to be one of the “snowflake generation” whom offended easily in trivial matters. At least that was what I was told.

***

I believe how Jesy’s documentary could reach so many hearts are that because many people have been through similar experiences. Maybe not online, and maybe not by thousands of people, but just enough to hurt them. Others can also relate to the symptoms she describes on tape, maybe these people didn’t even think of getting bullied but at some points, they understand how it feels to just despise the image you see in the mirror. We all know very well how powerful words are, sadly, because at some points we have been hurt by others’ words.

Jesy went to see a beauty image consultant and we could watch short sessions between the two of them. In the second visit, Jesy was showed her old footage from the X-factor days and even further back to her childhood pictures, it was the first time she saw them after years. The consultant asked her what the old Jesy would think if she was told that she would have her dream coming true in the future, would she think of being sad? Of course not. The wake-up call for Jesy was when she was reminded that who she had become today was the result of the evolution of her past self, that she wouldn’t be able to reach her dream without the past Jesy inside her, and that she wouldn’t survive and become stronger if not from the painful journey the past Jesy had gone through to become the present Jesy.

I had a similar revelation, despite that I didn’t have to visit any consultant and simply just had extra time to look within myself. My wake-up call was just when I scrolled my Twitter timeline and finding a post where a guy put his new picture and a childhood picture together, saying that he didn’t change much. I looked through my tagged photos and saved a few of my old Junior High School pictures, the period when I was in a weird transition, leaving my cute childhood behind and not yet arriving into the graceful adult, basically the worst pages of my life lookbook. I stared at both pictures from different decades, puberty didn’t hit me like a truck, but I sure have evolved with time.

I mean, maybe I’d have a slightly better picture if iphone —or at least Xiaomi had existed in early 2000s. But that’s the point. Time has changed. I have changed. There have been so many things came in my way ever since and I survived. That skinny, curly-haired girl is still here inside me as I am inside her. I wouldn’t be able to be who I am now if she hadn’t put so much effort and positivity all along. Just as I picked up another picture from my golden days, when I was in Uni, the period in which I miss almost everything —slim figure, fun days, dancing non-stop, life free of responsibilities, and not having any more regrets. I no longer hate my few extra kgs or how my leg feels weaker when I twerk, not anymore, because I have everything in the present me. I have me.

We heard many wisdom sayings, like: life is like a roller coaster, just enjoy the ride —or some sort. It’s not wrong. I just want to add a bit of a note, that is to go to the toilet and take a look at the mirror. Appreciate yourself today. You are alive. Then remember another quote: life is a gift, that’s why we call it present. Your life today is the gift given by you from yesterday, last week, and even 8 years ago. Enjoy it. If it’s a bit too much today, scream it out, remember, everyone in the roller coaster are freaking out anyway. You’re not alone and you are beautiful.

[zalrb]

Girl, I guess {TVD 8x16 Review}

OK guys, this is the last time I will have to warn the TVD fandom about writing in real time! Here it goes: You all know the drill, I write my thoughts in real time which means if I make any mistakes at the beginning of my review, I might have rectified them at the end. This will include: anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments. It will most likely reference other TV shows including Kdramas and may include observations of the show’s anti-blackness and racism. Are you ready? Let’s. Go. 

1. That SC kiss is still awful. Slow-mo it all you want guys, it’s just going to accentuate how awful it was.

2. Kinda salty that the hotel’s wifi isn’t much better than the data on my phone.

3. Seriously, Vicki and Kelly being in hell makes no sense.

4. “The magic was too much for her” HOW THOUGH? Bonnie did way more strenuous magic in freaking season 2. LIKE?

5. “No no no no no”, Stefan is panicking that Bonnie might be dead and Caroline’s just like, Oh. I know we all talk about how Paul has checked out but what the fuck has Candice been doing?

6. So like why is Elena in a random ass wood in a random ass white bed? Is this what Bonnie’s world looks like? Because I thought it was a rundown Mystic Grill.

7. Nina’s wig is AWFUL.

8. How would Elena seeing Bonnie make Elena think Bonnie is dead though? Like, isn’t it just that if Bonnie dies, Elena wakes up? Who said anything about meeting each other in a random ass forest before Bonnie dies?

9. So Elena doesn’t even blink an eye when Bonnie tells her “I can be with Enzo now”? Like she just accepts that her friend is going to die to be with someone who was an enemy when Elena was awake?

10. How does Enzo have the power to bring Bonnie back to life? Is Enzo an angel? LIKE? Rules DO need to exist, Julie.

11. The look of relief on Stefan’s face when Bonnie wakes up is so nice to see.

12. Vicki, stop talking. I also like how no one has tried to tie her up to keep her from ringing the bell. Just because you can’t kill her doesn’t mean you can’t contain her.

13. “I can’t go back there, you don’t know what it’s like” because the show literally hasn’t shown us anything.

14. How predictable is it that the DE reunion is really a DK reunion, oh! Like season 1 when he thought he was kissing Elena! CLEVER. Like 100 anons came into in my inbox like, I bet it’s Katherine, the moment that reunion aired. Well, at least Damon realized it was Katherine this time, you know, after hugging her and being all, “You’re both OK.”

15. It is so tacky they made her say, “Hello brothers.” Like omg, why isn’t it over yet

16. So Katherine is in Elena’s dress. Is Elena just naked somewhere? And she straightened her hair, like how much time did she have to do this?

17. “Her PHYSICAL body” I do miss seeing Paul and Nina onscreen together again, that “so over it” attitude is very reminiscent of season 2 and the delivery was hilarious.

18. Although this Katherine is a little off, she actually seems a little more unhinged, like the way Nina says, “the devil” in that tone and “Why do you think he wanted you? Because I  wanted you. DUH.” Like this is probably the first time I’ve been like so you’re crazy.

19. I don’t know why but Stefan is making me laugh so far. Damon is all “Dammit Katherine” and Stefan’s HAD IT, he’s just like YO let me stab this bitch “We gotta find, Elena, let’s go” and he LEAVES. Like he’s ready to go into battle. It also makes me feel like it’s Paul rushing to finish a scene like, “It’s the last episode, Ian, let’s GO.”

20. CAROLINE. VAMP SPEED. Walking down the stairs with a teddybear all chill and shit.

21. This is so low energy, Alaric and Caroline should be yelling at the top of their lungs, like if you want me to believe this is life or death then the characters needs to be amped, they need to be scared and frenzied, this feels like any other fight in any other episode.

22. Alaric, seriously, demote Caroline to Auntie because that’s how she acts with those twins anyway.

23. At least Katherine took the time to dress Elena in a shirt, a cardigan and jeans. It’s very thoughtful of her.

24. Me at Stefan’s face when he sees Elena on the ground:

25. So Katherine’s hair is suddenly curly again? Does she have superpowers?

26. Oh great. The fact that Katherine said Elena would choose Stefan over Damon just confirms that Elena will in fact choose Damon over Stefan. Just had to spit in the SErs’ faces one last time, I guess.

27. Lol watch Katherine actually be Silas getting into everyone’s heads and voicing their deepest fears. Again.

28. I want to feel something about this SC scene but I’m legit bored. “Please, please don’t make me leave you, please,” was sweet. That’s about it.

29. Like I’ve seen Stefan emotionally distraught at having to part ways with Elena:

and I know SErs are upset over the “I love you so much” but it’s not this:

30. It really doesn’t feel like the “world” is coming to an end, everyone is actually pretty chill. Like the season 2 finale of Buffy was the world ending (again) and everyone is freaking the fuck out:

and this is just like, Elena is unconscious, Matt allows Vicki to ring a bell that will bring hellfire and there’s the slowest evacuation in the world. We don’t even see randoms freaking out in the street. Whatever.

31. Of course Bonnie is staying behind.

32. “Downtown Mystic Falls”, I mean I guess. As the crow flies? WHO WROTE THIS. You are NOT in Lord of the Rings.

33. So I’m confused about this plan, Bonnie is going to redirect hell fire through the tunnels away from MF into hell ... so these tunnels lead into hell? Bonnie knows where hell is? The fire won’t destroy the tunnels?

34. Aw, Paul is acting! But yeah his speech to Damon is meh because Damon doesn’t deserve shit.

35. Considering that vampire blood can’t work on people who have ingested the cure, why would compulsion?

36. Why would I care about a Donovan family reunion?

37. So Grams is still around even though the Other Side is gone?

38. Bonnie pulled a Gandalf. “You shall not pass.”

39. Sorry, it was supposed to be a powerful scene but like nah.

40. So a bunch of black women who I’m guessing are the Bennett clan are pushing the hell fire away to protect a town that does not acknowledge their existence. Mmkay.

41. “He’s the better man, he’s the right man.” LOL EXCEPT NOT. HOW? Because he was FINALLY willing to sacrifice himself after almost two centuries?

42. He probably whispered something about loving Caroline to Elena.

43. I feel like I’m supposed to be sad that Stefan is dead but like I’ve seen this coming for a while.

44. LOL Magic School/Hogwarts where Jeremy teaches, this is SO BAD.

45. I’m sorry but these “peaces” just look like individual prison worlds.

What an AWFUL series finale, like it was SO BAD. I can’t even, I mean it’s laughably bad but like THIS is how you’re ending a supernatural series? WHAT DID I JUST WATCH? Nothing happened! Stefan sacrifices himself to make sure Katherine’s in hell when the fire comes but he dies when the fire goes through the tunnels so why wouldn’t Katherine just be dead if they kept her tied down in the tunnels when the fire came? And then Caroline and Alaric open a boarding school for magical kids in which Jeremy teaches for absolutely no reason and Klaus is a donor because why not and Vicki finally achieves nothingness except nothingness is peace with Tyler somewhere even though Tyler basically treated her like trash and the Other Side is gone so how they’re still watching the living is beyond me. And then Bonnie travels the world and that somehow makes her happy as if she hadn’t traveled before. Matt got a bench, good for you Matt. And Elena goes to med school and has a happy life with Damon we don’t see and then they die and each of them spend their peace not with each other and it ends. Like ... why tho? How does this make sense as ending? I should’ve been drunk for this. Plus side is, Stefan has still only called Elena the love of his life.

#stelena #stefan salvatore #elena gilbert #the vampire diaries #tvd #anti-tvd #tvd 8x16 #tvd i was feeling epic #i was feeling epic #anti julie plec #anti caroline dires #paul wesley #nina dobrev #dobsley #review #spoilers #meta #tvd spoilers #tvd review #tvd meta #tvd finale #tvd series finale #series finale

[nanyoky]

I only have like two bottles from the dark days of college left and I’ll be damned if i take them with me when i move

are you fucking serious betty jesus christ poor kevin. he is a better friend than i.

this is honestly the creepiest most awkward thing ever is this supposed to be fun for us as an audience??? am i a prude?????????

okay “I’m.... shy...” was a great delivery

public will reading THAT’S what i’m talkin about

yes hal, divorcing your wife and daughter together like the latter is a relationship you can just opt out of is totally justified this is a totally normal reaction to life being messy

“You can’t divorce me, i DIVORCE YOU” alice cooper back on her bullshit. god bless ‘er

did we know archie knew about hiram owning pop’s? god they really need to work on focusing their plot breadcrumbs. i’m like not surprised or interested in anything anymore

i feel like the directors are just telling sprouse to act SUPER SHOOK and DRAMATIC regardless of what the scene is about and now it’s losing all effect which is a shame

tiny fat cooper bbs

yasss- penelope SNEERING at the idea of toni attending the will reading. cheryl lending toni an outfit while throwing out a rare compliment to someone else’s personal style.

god i hope we get a reveal of how both archie and veronica are plying things close to the chest so as to keep one another safe but i kinda doubt that’s what we’re gunna get

toni laughing at alice’s outburst is like the “take me or leave me” scene in rent where everyone’s reacting to maureen and joann’s Gay Antics(tm)

“this is riveting, i can’t breath” DID THEY JUST. Headcanon: joaquin told everyone the story of “Secrets and sins” and how funny his boyfriend is and so “this is riveting, i can’t breath” became like a meme amongst the teen serpents as like- the thing you say when someone is being laughably extra for zero reason and someone needs to break the tension

POP TATE BACKSTORY

i swear to god jughead if you go against pop’s wishes i will personally astral project myself into the fictional universe of this tv series and grab you by your skinny little throat and throw you in front of a train

“I feel it is my duty to say a few words.” of course you do cheryl. it’s not, but do go on

oh my fucking god. are they really doing this. is this really happening. a resurrection/secret twin plot? jesus h christ. see this is the kind of thing i would have loved if the quality of season one was still present, but as things are i’m just cringing

“Oh mumsy- i had the most frightful daymare.” ....fuck you i love cheryl’s shitty stilted performative psycho dialogue

“we could start our own version of the farm!” *betty face* same, bets, same.

like- we all know chic isn’t a blossom tho. they’re trying to make this mysterious but come on. he looks like a young blond skeet ulrich and we all know it

oh no- are they paralleling kevin catfishing chic to joaquin getting info on the sheriff from kevin in season one oh noooooooo that makes me so saddddd

“I’m brunching, archie, what do you want?” an icon in a time of strife

“I haven’t even gotten to the real talk, fred” MACKERS WOMEN. GODDAMN.

i hate this lodge-mob-family plot but it feels like there’s light at the end of the tunnel and it may end eventually here

oh god are we finally getting jughead finding out about the serpents and the drive in???? in all this mess of a season are we finally getting this high quality drama i’ve been waiting for???

.......and drama is subverted because apparently scenes in this episode can only last a total of ten seconds before another plot point comes up

ugg, chic

SMITHERSSSSSS IN BASICALLY THE EXACT UNIFORM WE LAST SAW HIM INNNNN!!!!

omg are they bringing back the uncomfortable dinner scenes from season one? that was these writers’ strong suite. 

Toni valiantly forging ahead with small talk in the face of the drama of the day draws her closely parallel to veronica. they should interact more

“LESBOS” WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DIALOGUE ANYMORE THEY’VE SWAPPED THE OUTRIGHT BAD DIALOGUE OF SEASON ONE IN FAVOR OF JUST PLAIN WEIRD

i feel like a failure for not pointing out sooner that his name is uncle claudius which is either just a lol and a wink, or foreshadowing- anything’s possible in season two

in any case, uncle claudius supports his gay neices so that’s nice

honestly the most unrealistic part of this season is that betty fully realizes polly is in a cult, but they just don’t talk about it cuz *~*she can make her own choices*~* like- this is betty cooper we’re talking about. no one is allowed to breath if it doesn’t fit her concept of JUSTICE. especially when it comes to the safety of her sister.

honestly they could cut from this to a shot of chic punting those babies into the river and i’d just nod and go “yup. checks out.” and play on my phone some more.

“war baby” is the most riverdale of gang member names

archie you did NOT just bring the dracula comparison into hiram’s study....

“riverdale will be crime free!” is this a plan to just blow it up because otherwise that’s a no. literally no one in this town is a law abiding citizen. i’m sure juniper and dagwood have already managed to steal a pack of cigarettes since they arrived

.....so she’s leaving the farm. with zero drama. because she’s not a character we’re even invested in anymore. kay.

....a privately owned prison. kay.

i mean- i like the implication that maybe it isn’t really “uncle claudius” but actual clifford pretending to be a new person- having probably killed the real deal to fake his own death. but. with everything else being so lame i’m having a hard time getting into it

i mean did anyone have any doubt that there was going to be some big parentage reveal with chic

..... are they seriously going to make a blood pact? what does he also get the secret password to the lodge family treehouse too?

sorry this turned into just me bitching instead of having a good time- i just miss my show

#nell liveblogs #nell drinks #not tagging like normal cuz i'm being whiney #unsubtle high school suburban gothic of my dreams #ginger eris trapped in a gothic novel #Nell whines