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kedsandtubesocks · 4 months

Text

give you something to dream about

joel miller x f!reader

summary: It’s game night at the bar and you stumble upon the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, no outbreak AU, Joel has both of his daughters, ‘strangers at a bar and maybe something more’ scenario with eventual husband!Joel, mentions of drinking, spicy making out session, Joel gets a bit handsy, gendered language / reader is addressed as “baby” & “darlin” light football discussions and terminology, lovesick and possessive!Joel

word count: 4k

a/n: this is my love letter to Joel, his love for football and maybe my own love for Texas football as well lol. To have this as my first fic of the new year and for it being for Joel means so much. To come back and write for the Pedro fandom is special and means so much. Big thank you to my babe @ahauntedcowboy for letting me scream my sports girl head off about this, and for @lowlights for giving me guidance when I needed it. And lastly - thank you for reading, you are what truly makes this so incredibly special and wonderful

A mixture of bright neon and low soft white lights bathe the bar in a cozy ambient glow. The music is barely audible, a sort of after thought. Instead commotion and the ramble of sports announcers fills the room.

You manage to squeeze through the sea of onlookers dressed in burnt orange. Maria thankfully stays close to you. Now at the bar counter relief floods you as you lean against it.

“Order me a beer, I’m gonna find our table.” Maria yells over the liveliness swirling around.

You give her a thumbs up and thankfully don’t have to wait for the bartender long.

“Like your shirt!”

The bartender’s voice catches you instantly. Bright and direct you blink towards him. He’s cute, young, maybe a grad student from UT Austin who works here.

You can’t help but glance down at what you’re wearing.

Even under your jacket the shirt is comfortably a bit larger on you. The main focus is the old cartoon type logo of Bevo, the Texas Longhorn's mascot. The burnt orange coloring is faded adding to its weathered look.

A warmth flutters through you from just seeing it.

“It’s vintage, cool as hell.” The bartender continues admiring.

“Thanks. Uh, a friend of mine gave it to me.” Thankfully the bartender nods understandingly and doesn’t press the topic more. Instead he soon asks what you’ll be having.

You order Maria’s beer and a drink for yourself.

“So, you a big Texas fan? Well okay, I mean…you gotta be if you’re here.” The bartender, grabbing a drink glass, starts up another conversation with you as his tone becomes playful.

“A lot of people I know and love are. So by default I am too.” You admit with a sleepy grin.

“Aw,” his face melts. “Now that’s sweet. Well glad to have you here cheering for Texas.”

The bartender now even winks at you. You politely laugh but then, the bar erupts silencing the conversation.

Excited yells come so loud you jump out of your skin. Quickly you turn around to view the many tvs and projectors showing the game.

From what you can tell the Texas defense managed to take down the quarterback. You even watch the replay to see what the fuss is about. It was a good tackle and the play kept the other team’s quarterback from even advancing.

The game has you memorized now. You watch as the burnt orange and white uniforms of the players scramble like chaotic ants now trying to rush after the ball was kicked, no, punted to them.

Your lips twitch. You never would’ve thought you knew this much football terminology or could at least follow the game. Yet here you are.

The bartender clears his throat and embarrassingly fast you turn back around.

Not two but three drinks sit before you on the bar counter.

One happens to be a surprise shot that makes your eyes go wide.

“Uh, so the guy at the end of the bar sent it your way.” The bartender explains lowly, trying to be discreet about it.

Your eyes instead whip up to search for the mystery man. Then your heart sprouts wings when you discover him.

Leaning against the bar rail at the very opposed end of where you are, the man seems like something out of a romance novel’s dream.

Ruggedly handsome, his distinguished aged face and striking nose glow against the mixture of neon and dim lighting. It highlights the grays in his beard and gorgeous dark hair. His chocolate eyes bore into you as if you’re the only one in this bar.

His attention on you alone has your knees weak and you wonder maybe you suddenly turned into jello.

Your mystery man lifts his beer up to you, a silent ‘cheers’ and then takes a sip.

Just watching him take a swig of his beer has you dizzy. So you readily snatch up the shot, toast it back to him and down it.

The alcohol burns, but you’re surprised it’s your favorite liquor of choice. You can’t help but cough up wildly and the bartender snickers at your reaction. It’s been too long since you’ve had a shot and you’re thankful to chase the stinging sensation down with your mixed drink.

“Hey!” Maria’s voice calls out and her bright smile greets you as she slides through the packed crowd.

“Hope you didn’t think I forgot about you.” She laughs warmly. She grabs her beer and slides a tip to the bartender.

But then her eyes notice the empty glass.

“Oh? You took a shot without me?” She teases.

You tell her someone bought it for you and her eyebrows fly up fast in eager surprise.

“Oh?” Even her tone is warmly excited. “You get a good look at who your mystery shot buyer is?”

You turn your attention towards the end of the bar, right where he should be. Except your mystery man has vanished.

A bit of disappointment trickles in.

“I did, but guess he took off.” You tell Maria a bit low.

“Well, his loss then. Come on! Let’s head back to our table-”

“S’cuse me…”

A smooth deep and accented drawl, direct and firm enough cuts through the commotion politely cutting in on Maria.

Just as fast, there’s suddenly a deep warmth behind your back. The presence is broad, warm, and smells of the beautiful hint of a sandalwood cologne.

“If you don’t mind, I think I might steal this pretty gem for myself.” The accent seems thicker now and melts off his voice like sin.

He’s talking about you.

Maria smiles wildly entertained while her eyes flicker between you and your mystery man.

Silently you stare back and with pleading eyes you mentally communicate that yes you want to stay, yes it’s okay for her to head back.

“Alrighty then, see you two later.” She says grabbing her beer and gives you one last amused look before heading back to the table.

Your heart races so loud in your ears you don’t even notice the upset yells at a bad call given by the refs.

“…Howdy…”

The voice purrs, absolutely dances against the noise of the bar and beckons to you, your personal siren’s song.

Turning around the shadow of the mystery man falls over you. He stares down with those obsidian pool eyes as his lips turn into a boyish grin.

“I’m Joel. S’nice to meet you.”

You think about all the songs that sing about Texas beauty and how they all must have actually been speaking of this man.

Joel extends his hand out to you and the simple pure southern gentleman introduction has excitement bubbling in you like you’re a champagne bottle about to pop.

Your lips fight back a disbelieved smile as you introduce yourself and shake his hand.

It’s larger than yours, warm and beautifully callous that speaks of hard work. Joel leans closer to you and you can’t help but slide more towards him as well.

“I like your shirt.” His fingers playfully tugs at the bottom edge of your shirt.

“Thanks,” you take a sip of your drink to gain more courage. “A friend of mine let me wear it.”

Joel laughs. It’s warm, touches his face and sounds like it settles in his chest.

“A friend huh?” His voice grows even more amused.

You simply hum a nod as you take another sip of your drink. Your body hums with so many wonderful emotions like a jenga tower trying to hold onto its form on a moving table.

“That friend of yours a boyfriend?” Joel asks, a dark drawl sticky as molasses and trapping you to him.

You can’t help but shake your head no. The taste of your drink momentarily settles you.

“Pretty thing like you single? Ain’t that a shame.” Joel comments with a low rumble and all the ease you had gathered floats away.

Your eyes flicker back to Joel. But your focus goes between his stunning eyes and his lips. You don’t miss the way his eyes gloss over, become hooded with a hazy desire. How much it intensifies his gorgeous features makes your stomach flutter.

The game must have quieted down or maybe you’re just this focused on this man.

He moves to whisper in your ear.

“So…Wanna find a nice quiet spot to chat? Get to know each other better?” His lips softly graze your ear and an electric current runs up your spine.

“Yeah.” You mutter back now tipsy off Joel’s presence.

The moment you agree, Joel’s hand slips towards your waist and draws you to his side. He quickly slams down plenty of bills on the counter to cover for the drinks and tip. Your poor drink and his are forgotten.

Now Joel shifts into a man focused.

Squaring up his shoulders, he stands taller as he takes the lead. His broad shoulders become a guiding force, keeping you close to him. His hand intertwines with yours while he navigates you among the crowds.

His larger hand suddenly squeezes yours, a reassuring pressure that draws you closer to him. Moving through the tables against the crowds, you arrive at the outdoor patio where the early night air clears your mind.

Joel continues guiding you to a smaller area where the bathrooms are outside by the patio. You stand before the family restroom that holds the sweet title of “cowpokes” on it. Opening the door, Joel leads you inside. You take in the slightly larger yet still small rustic bathroom that glows under the murky amber light.

The door locks behind you and you turn around to find Joel staring you down with hunger brewing in his smokey eyes.

That’s all you can focus on before you get caught up in a dizzying whirlwind.

Hastily Joel rushes forward to pin you against the wall. His body firm and large presses so deliciously against you. Before your eyes can even soak in the close sight of him, he sweeps in and kiss you with a ravenous fierceness that steals your breath.

He quickly consumes you.

Joel faintly tastes of beer and something intoxicatingly uniquely him. While his hand moves to hold your face, his tongue licks into your mouth, diving in, almost trying to get drunk off you. You can’t help but draw him closer to you as much as you can. You want your nails to dig into him the same way he’s burning under your skin and seeping into your core

His hips begin to grind against you with an eased pace and you moan into his mouth. You want more, need more.

“Oh baby.” Joel groans out and sounds like sticky delicious sin.

Suddenly the loudest cheers leak into the bathroom.

So fierce in their excitement it echos into the room and freezes you and Joel immediately.

He sighs against your lips.

“We must‘ve scored.” Joel mutters.

“Are you upset you didn’t see it?” You ask gently and kiss his lips soft as the heat begins to settle.

“Nah. I’m aimin’ to score here myself.” He grins and the line has you laughing. Your face goes to rest against his as you continue to snicker. The prickle of his beard gently scratching against your skin feels wonderful.

“Darlin’ you’re killin’ me. I wanted to sound slick.” Joel sighs again, sounding deflated now.

“You did...sort of.” You smile.

“Forgive me,” He smirks and turns to press another soft kiss against your lips. “Been outta practice for a while.”

“You aren’t too bad, cowboy. You managed to get me in here.” You hum amused while your fingers run against his jaw, through his scruffy wonderful beard.

Joel chuckles and it dances within his chest, resonating through him.

“You’re the only one I want in here.” He mutters.

You and him share a few more soft slow eased kisses that are rushed, almost shy now.

With one last kiss, a deeply melting one that now makes you ache to keep him here, Joel pulls away. You hold yourself back from pouting.

But, you’re now rewarded with the sight of Joel fully before you. The dim amber light paints him like something pulled from a sunset dream, an aged handsome man so sweet with his furrowed concentrated eyes.

You watch Joel pat around his jean pockets and suddenly your eyes go wide.

“Joel Miller if you lost them-”

“Calm down!” He huffs cutting you off while he rapidly digs into his deep jeans pocket. He yanks something out in his grasp.

He smoothly slides closer back to you and holds out his palm where two wedding rings sit waiting.

His and yours.

Your heart melts out of your chest seeing them and your ring finger itches for its missing piece. You grab Joel’s ring, leaving him yours and move to slide his back onto his hand.

In the same manner, Joel slides your wedding band back onto its rightful place. The memory of when you did this at your actual wedding faintly flutters in and settles warm in your heart’s chamber.

Joel draws your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckles.

This man, your husband - you yank him towards you again to kiss him.

It’s a kiss that’s like coming home, of sweetness and cultivated bliss reuniting together again.

“Wanna see that bartender try flirtin’ with ya now with that ring on your finger.” Your grumpy husband grumbles adorably.

You bark a laugh. “Oh please, he was being nice for the tip and you know it.”

“Uh huh.” Joel dryly huffs as he stares at you unamused.

“Hey he was nice. He even liked my shirt.” You reply back.

“My shirt.” Joel clarifies strongly. “That’s my shirt.”

You roll your eyes playful.

He is right though. The shirt is his. Your husband is a superstitious football fan. And ever since you wore his shirt and Texas won, Joel used his beautiful brown eyes as weapons to get you to wear his shirt every game since then.

“Come on, curious to see what the score is.” With one last sweet kiss, Joel leads you back out into the evening air.

Hand in hand with him, you find your way to Tommy and Maria. Both of them brighten up at the sight of you and Joel.

“Hey! Look at that! You’re a married man again!” Tommy cries happily and you laugh. Joel, after sliding your chair in for you, rolls his eyes now while you and Maria snicker to each other.

“Bet it was fun while it lasted.” Maria grins.

“Eh.” You shrug but the truth tugs at your lips amused.

A few nights ago, when you and Joel had come up with this idea of going to the bar without the rings, pretending to not know each other, you worried for a split moment that you’d enjoy the freedom.

You worried you would realize how much you missed and enjoyed the playful banter, the flirting and pull that comes with being single. But instead you simply found your way back to Joel.

The excitement of seeing him, of having that same sensation rush through you like it did when you first met him, was nostalgically addictive for a moment.

However, you instead soak in the comfort of sitting beside Joel because it feels like coming home. While being single for another moment again was fun, you want to find Joel in every lifetime, find him as your husband in every universe.

The bar suddenly breaks into wild excitement. Joel as well cheers so loud. You turn to the game and find Texas intercepted a pass.

Now you go to check your phone and find both your daughters thankfully are doing fine. Sarah even sent you a photo text of her and Ellie at the classmate’s birthday party they’re both at. There’s a lightness that settles into your bones seeing them and having their father, your husband, beside you.

Joel and Tommy, as if they’re ESPN announcers in deep analysis, dive back into how Texas needs to sharpen up their offensive line. It’s adorable. It makes you fall in love even more with him.

Maria goes to ask Tommy something about the game and Joel leans towards you.

“You happy to be married again?” His voice drops soft and low. You catch the hint of true curiosity and almost hesitation residing under his tone.

“Of course. It’s my luckiest day all over again.” You truthfully tell him with a warm grin.

“Yeah?” He mutters tenderly as his eyes flicker to your lips again. “Make sure you share some of that luck with the team alright?”

You playfully nudge his arm and Joel smirks. You love him like this, light and teasing.

Joel drops a kiss to the side of your head.

“Don’t worry baby, this is my lucky day too. Goin’ home with the most gorgeous person here and I’m married to her.”

You could say the same thing. You’re leaving with the most handsome man and knowing you’re married to him? You feel honored, proud, and grateful.

Even when he starts yelling at the quarterback as if the poor guy can hear him.

“I could throw a better pass than that!” He argues upset.

You’re not as big of a fan as Joel, but Texas holds a place in your heart forever. It intertwined you and him in its own unique way.

Back when you were dating Joel patiently explained the game, so gently spoke to you without any judgment when you asked questions you were sure would make any other seasoned fan mock you or get annoyed. But not your Joel.

The first big moment you met Ellie and Sarah it was over at his place during a Texas game.

You experienced how wildly invested Ellie got, just like Joel, and how amused Sarah got seeing her dad and sister scream at the tv. From that point - all the days, the games, laughs and moments cultivated into a path that has led you to this moment, to this bar.

And now, here you are.

You love Joel’s love for the game, for the sport. You love how it’s connected you to him.

“Honey, you okay?” The voice of your husband pulls you from your thoughts, like a call home.

You turn to find Joel intently looking at you, your sweetheart provider. You can’t help but grin and nod.

“Yup, just thinking about the handsome stranger I met earlier. Hope he asks for my number.” You tell him.

Joel breaks into a chuckle that touches his earth eyes.

“Between you and me, he’d be a fool if he didn’t.” His hand now slides to yours, his thumb even begins to twist and fiddle with your wedding ring, a sweet habit of his.

You snort amused at how effortlessly he can play along with you.

Before you can tease him again or even wander back into your thoughts, the crowd roars to life with shouts. All eyes including yours snap to the game.

Texas just intercepted the ball and the play breathes life into the bar, into your husband who claps loud and proud.

It’s a great energy to see the end of the second quarter and the start of the halftime.

Suddenly, Joel’s hand begins softly trailing against your thigh. Warm and almost eased, the slow movement ignites a blooming desire in your chest.

Joel easily laughs with Tommy about the game. His eyes stay on his brother. Yet Joel’s hand slides now confidently deeper into the inside of your thigh. Your throat tightens and heat now begins to soak between your thighs, almost daring him to touch you.

Then a collection of happy cheers burst in the bar and steals all the attention.

All the tables nearby including yours turn to find a group of ladies. One of them currently grabs the cowboy hat off a taller man who grins so warmly down at her. She laughs loudly after doing what had to have been a wild shot.

The guy orders her, and her friends, another round causing them to squeal loud and excited again. Maria leans back to talk to Tommy and so you too lean closer to your own husband.

“Maybe I should pretend to be single again.” You tell Joel. “To see if I’ll get free shots and attention like that.”

Not that you’d want any of that. You just enjoy teasing your sweet grumpy husband from time to time.

“Nope.” Joel says with an unwavering sharpness. “You ain’t going anywhere without that ring Mrs. Miller.”

His words are rather light, almost playful, but you catch the underlying possessive simmering. It ignites an even stronger warmth beneath your skin.

“And who says you don’t get free shots? I’ll buy you as many as ya want.” Joel adds and his clipped almost ruffled voice has you laughing.

But as you settle, your thoughts wander. The smell of Joel so close, the mixture of his faint cologne and the detergent you use to wash his clothes, brings back the sensation of having that smell surround you when you were in the restroom with him.

It makes you ache.

Your hand now softly wanders to rub his warm broad chest. A low rumble comes from him, an awareness of your presence as you drape against him now. Maria and Tommy thankfully have begun to make fast friends with the couple sitting beside your table.

Your face leans to rest against Joel’s and the slick honey like desire you felt earlier creeps over you once more. It urges you to be bold.

“Wanna go mess around before halftime is over?” You offer soft and low, only for his ears.

Joel peers over to you, his eyes now smoldering coals.

“You wanna?” He mutters back.

Your answer comes as a soft kiss you place against his cheek. However, your hand now begins to slide up his thigh just like he did to you earlier.

Joel loudly clears his throat and sits up fast which untangles you from him. Immediately he yanks out his wallet to slam his card on the table.

Tommy and Maria now blink back at the sudden action.

“Order anything y'all want. We gotta grab somethin’ from the truck.” Joel lies effortlessly.

But Maria knows as she grins knowingly while embarrassment instead rises in you.

And apparently her husband isn’t as easily fooled either.

“Yeah yeah! Get outta here ya horn dogs!”

Joel barks a sharp ‘hey!’ at his younger brother’s crudeness while you can only laugh against him. Tommy simply makes obnoxious kissy faces while Maria snickers besides him. Unable to endure anymore teasing Joel playfully calls Tommy a piece of shit and with that you wave a quick and thankful to Tommy and Maria.

Joel once again leads the way to the entrance.

The two of you now stay stuck together closer than earlier. An almost giddy frenzy now keeps you both hyper aware of the other. His hands keep you so firmly close to him.

The giddiness you had earlier while pretending to be single with Joel is nothing compared to this. This feeling swirling in you comes from knowing you get to sneak away with your husband. It has you floating, only tied to this world by Joel keeping you steady and protected.

Around you, small chatter about the game hangs in the air.

Texas might not win. But as you slide closer to Joel, a unique shade of triumph washes over you.

Your good man, your wonderful husband.

He is your victory and champion.

Your victory lap and your welcome home party all at once.

And when he kisses you wildly against the side of his truck…you think he might also be your sneaky devilish opponent as his hand already starts to slip under your, no his shirt.

And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#I blame my heartbreak over Texas and Pedro losing but it’s okay cause I got inspired LOL #thank you to anyone who reads this I love you #Joel 🤎#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader

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zee-rambles · 9 months

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With the official confirmation from Paramount that there IS going to be an official TV series based on Mutant Mayhem, Tales of the TMNT, that will bridge the gap between MM and it’s sequel(two seasons long), what’re your thoughts? Do you think this’ll hamper any hope for a potential third season of Rise, or do you feel that people shouldn’t be harsh on it and appreciate it for being it’s own thing(I’m very much the latter lol)?

LONG post is LONG, but I really wanted to drive home the importance of this.

I don’t really have an opinion on the Mutant Mayhem show, TBH. I knew it was coming, because Nickelodeon is banking on MM to be a big hit, and it’s not that weird for them to try and squeeze as much money as they can from a new IP. The fact that this new series is going straight to paramount plus and not on Nickelodeon’s main channel is…confusing (Unless it’s actually going to Nickelodeon, in which case, so what? If Nickelodeon can have THREE different versions of SpongeBob airing on their channel, then I don’t see what excuse they can make for not having two versions of the TMNT out simultaneously. They’ve done it before too. 2012 and the Bay films were happening at the same time).

As for Rise, I don’t think hating on Mutant Mayhem or on its related shows is going to do much good. If anything, it’s going to create a divide between incoming fans of Mutant Mayhem, older Rise fans, and Rise fans that are looking forward to more TMNT content. If the show does air on Nickelodeon, it’s not like the kids watching it are going to know the discourse surrounding Rise. Review bombing, hating, and leaving bad faith reviews on anything Mutant Mayhem related isn’t going to bring Rise back. And it’s going to give Rise fans a bad rep, which will end up hurting Rise more, because no one would want to give a show a chance if its fan base is seen as toxic.

Trust me, no one wants Rise of the TMNT to come back more then I do, but I’m not going to go around discouraging or hating on on anyone that is excited for Mutant Mayhem. It’s one thing if you watch and don’t enjoy it, or choose not to support it, I’m not here to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do, and it’s normal for people not to like something sometimes. If it isn’t for you, it isn’t for you. That happens. But hating it with a passion and posting that everywhere does nothing helpful for Rise.

The best thing would be if new TMNT fans and Rise fans came together to save the show. If more people knew about Rise, the movie, and if enough content keeps the fandom alive, raises interest in the show online, and keeps the show/movie from being fading away into the background, there’s a chance. The bigger the following Rise has, the more people asking for its return, the higher the chances. The more alive it is across social media, the better. What we need more then anything really, is visibility. Not enough people know about Rise. Danny Phantom still has a big following to this day, still has more people giving it a chance because the fans love it enough to keep it going. And people are seeing that. Watch Mojo released a video recently about shows that deserve to come back and Danny was on that list. Spectacular Spider-Man still gets new videos made of it all the time, and the fans STILL, even after all these years, ask for more.

We’re in an interesting position. I don’t think ANY other fandom has ever said, “Heck it! We’ll make our OWN season! Ya JERKS!” So support each other, keep asking for more Rise, keep making art, social media posts, videos, ask Cinema Wins and Cinema Therapy to review the movie, keep sharing and signing the petitions, recommend it to people, anime fans, non TMNT fans (I wasn’t a fan of TMNT until Rise), animation fans and so on. Always ask for the original producers, Ant Ward, Andy Suriano, writers, cast and crew to come back. Word of mouth is a powerful thing. The more people make an effort, the better. And don’t give up. Giving up is the one true for Rise fade away.

TLDR: No, hating on MM will NOT help Rise. BUT! Continuously making efforts to bring back Rise, support each other, raise awareness/visibility, will.

#rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #unpause rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #mutant mayhem #zee answers stuff #Nickelodeon #Danny phantom #spectacular spider man #paramount #unpause rise of the tmnt #rottmnt season 3 #keep rottmnt trending #rise of the tmnt #fandom #acceptance #tmnt mutant mayhem

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xagave · 7 months

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pleasepleaseplease recommend some danphan fics!!

Sorry these are on ff.net I was into danphan before AO3 was really A Thing. Invisobang also just completed and a whole wack of new fics are also now out for your enjoyment so I suggest taking a look there too Lab Rat - Danny (as Phantom) is captured by his parents and vivisected in the lab. THE MOST iconic dp fic from this era of fandom and also the first dp fic I ever read which single-handedly got me into the fandom. I also recommend anything else by this author[sequel]

Pits - Danny is captured by Walker and thrown into the Pits to fight for his life. HANDS DOWN my all time favorite dp fic. I drew a bunch of fanart for it and never showed the author LMAO [sequel]

In The Way - A twisted tale of a summer spent all alone

Wondering - Danny's been captured and tortured by his parents, but he refuses to say a word until his psychiatrist starts connecting the dots. Can he risk keeping it a secret any longer?

Dreams of Light - A cute box ghost fic with a fun twist at the end

Phantom's Sketchbook - Mr. Lancer finds himself in an unparalleled situation, he has access to something which can give him incredible insight into the personal workings of Amity Park's local ghost teen hero, Danny Phantom

Masks - Lancer has had enough of his most enigmatic, frustrating student Daniel Fenton and forces him to stay in detention with him until Danny tells him The Truth. A story examining Danny's relationship with the human race. Another BIG FAVE of mine [sequel]

Darkness - Part 1 of Illuminations saga. [part 2][part 3][part 4] Maddie and Phantom are trapped in the dark and must work together to avoid dying. I don't remember much about this but I do remember it being super creepy and I bulldozed my way through all 4 parts so it must have been good lol

I'm Still Here - Danny's been locked away in a forgotten thermos, buried in the backyard for 70 years. When he's finally released, happy isn't the word he'd use to describe his new life

Real Life - A very creepy take on ghosts and the events of the show, where they're more inhuman, feral, and scary. I don't remember much about this but it's unfinished

Lopeholt - Valerie must survived the night in the third scariest place on earth. **VERY** creepy, I remember reading this in the dark and it gave me nightmares. Another top fave. I def recommend reading anything else by this author

Running to the Enemy's Arms - Danny runs away and ends up on the doorstep of the person who's dead last on his list of favorite people - Vlad. Danny/Vlad father son relationship. A fun and interesting view of what Danny's life would be like had he been the son Vlad always wanted. Incomplete but also another BIG FAVE of mine. Tolerate the first 1-2 chapters and the rest is golden

Checkmate - Vlad forces Danny to leave everything behind in order to save Jazz's life. But just when the billionaire believes to have won his chess game against his young rival, Danny makes a single unexpected move.

A Secret Uncovered - Danny's transformation is caught on tape and now the whole town knows who he is Photoshop - Dash and Kwan find an old class picture and start having a little too much fun on Photoshop. Will someone's secret be revealed?

Chained - It starts with a fire at the Guys in White headquarters, where a vengeful Valerie stumbles across an imprisoned Danny Phantom. It starts with injustice. But what happens when justice and revenge are confused for one another? Where does a hero end, and a villain begin?

Phantom of Truth - Locked away in a secret government lab with Phantom as her subject, nothing stands between Maddie and the truth… except, perhaps, herself [Sequel]

The Soul Sepulchre - Something foul is stirring in Amity Park and it all starts in the bowels of Amity Park's Museum of Natural History

Moral Code - Moral code says to never kill or capture a specimen that you did not weaken yourself. Maddie finds Danny Phantom wounded late at night after a hard battle. After she helps him, she finds there is more to him than she ever thought possible. Mother/son bonding

Connections - Maddie knows that the Booo-merang has keyed into Danny, for whatever reason, so what's she to think when she sees it collide with Phantom? [Sequel]

Isolated - It's just a wish that's been granted with the wrong twist, but for Danny, it's a nightmare that's become reality. He's stuck as Phantom, his family's hunting him, and everyone who can help him is gone

Little Earthquakes - They say that a man is defined by what he does when he thinks nobody's looking. Does the same hold true for ghosts?

Tortured Truth - Danny's parents discover that the ghost boy is half human. Now that they've captured Danny, will he submit to torture and reveal himself, or is the revelation just the beginning of their problems? [Sequel]

Estrelas - AU. Sam's attention is captured by a lonely ghost haunting her grandmother's attic…and discovering his secrets will take everything she has.

Criteria of Life - Every living thing must follow the Laws of Life; however, Maddie wonders if Phantom can somehow follow these laws as well. The fact that he is a ghost is putting a knick in her plans, but what if Phantom can follow the Laws of Life?

#ask #danny phantom fic recs #i have soooo many danphan fics to rec but alas tumblr character limit #def recommend checking out invisobang though #it was my first year participating and i cant wait to look at everyones stuff when i have the time :0

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twig-tea · 3 months

Note

Lately I’ve been feeling like Thai bl is truly all over the place with so many shows airing at once and some of the best ones flying under the radar while discourse is focused on a couple of the big messy ones. I think you’re the only person I know who is actually watching ALL of them and has been here for the whole evolution of the genre, so I’m curious what stands out to you about this current moment. Do the shows feel different to you? Is the way fandom is interacting with them changing? And what are your current favs?

I ended up writing a thesis, sorry friend lol To be fair to me there are 3 questions in there, all of them meaty! I've done my best to give a sense of where I'm at with Thai BL and how it feels like it's changed over time.

Caveating all of this: I am just one fan who I'm sure has had specific experiences that will colour my opinion, also a lot of this is just vibes so I'm open to being told I've forgotten something major or misremembered what it was like! If you are reading this and your opinion or experience is different please share, with stuff like this I'm always interested in hearing about differing opinions because the fandom experience will depend at least partly on where you hang out. For years, my main fandom space for BL was the YouTube comments section (RIP me).

Overall feel

Honestly, things overall don't feel all that different to me in Thai BL in particular, even though I'm about to talk about a lot of changes and ways it actuallyd does feel very different below lol And after reflecting about it, I think it's because these things still feel very much in flux, in a way that they've felt in flux this entire time. Producers are still figuring out the best funding and distribution models and merch models to make money; creators are still calibrating how queer these shows can be and still be popular; actors are still figuring out how to do BGP (business gay performances) without having fans interfere in their private lives off the clock. Writers are still trying to figure out how to write 12-episode arcs that don't drag in the middle or fumble the ending (which is also not new). The tension between established ships, fan expectations, and genre requirements has honestly been there almost the whole time, though the reverberations of missteps is louder now because of the larger fanbase that is (comparatively) more plugged in to live viewing. The core question in BL has always been 'how do we make this marketable', and that unsurprisingly hasn't changed, though the answer to that question has over time, if that makes sense?

Shows

Do the shows feel different? As a whole, I'd say yes. The biggest differences are of course total quantity and overall quality, but the actual distribution of % of shows that have high(er) production values (i.e. quality) feels close to the same--it was close to 50/50 in the late 2010s and now is maybe more like 40/60 with a higher percentage coming from more smaller production companies. But the numbers we're talking about are something like 15 shows in e.g. 2018 and something more like 50 shows in 2023 (being vague because there are shows that people could argue over whether they should count). The quality overall has increased, even the pulps look better, sound better, and tend to feel a little bit more put together than the pulps of even 2020 (please note that these are all relative qualifiers, most of these shows are still not objectively good). 2020 in particular was a watershed moment for high production value BLs; we get colorists and special effects artists, and sometimes decent sound production now!

There has also been an improvement in terms of what is depicted and how certain subject matter is treated very generally, though I think that's still in flux. Things like evil ex girlfriends are less common than they were and the women in BL are more likely (in general, still not always) to be treated as realized characters. We've gotten more and better femme representation in ensemble shows, and the "gay for you" trope is much less common. Consent is now considered sexy and is much more common than it was; non-consent as "sexy" has eroded and is much less common. Things that used to happen in almost every BL now happen in a much lower percentage. I also feel a little bit less worried about some of the actors on pulp sets because there is more general scrutiny about things like minor actors, intimacy coordination, BGP (business gay performance) expectations, and sexual exploitation. Overall, show recommendations these days come with fewer caveats.

The assumption that if you worked with someone on a BL once you would stay with them as an established pairing was surprisingly early in BL; I don't know if it's just because there were a few shows that had side pairings then get main shows, so the actors did work together on a few shows in a row, which made them feel established, or whether it's because the BGP started early to build hype both before and after shows aired, or whether audiences just made homophobic assumptions about how if two actors had chemistry they had to be gay for each other, and otherwise nobody would want to "play gay" more than once, or would want to have to kiss too many other men....in any case, there were huge scandals and blow-ups around this in BL on even the earliest shows, and some early shows were snubbed because of the pairing alone. Similarly, it was established very early in BL (i.e. 2016-17) that an unhappy ending for a pair would result in your show being panned; cheating was also a guaranteed flop in BL circles (though some ensemble shows that had gay relationships in them such as Friend Zone did fine with cheating plots and unhappy endings). Overall it feels like some things were only depicted in early Thai BL and creators have avoided them since due to the audience reception at the time. I will say, generally, that there have now been enough examples of people in a "branded pair" moving on to a new pair or multiple shows, that it feels less like a death knell to a BL career if one of the actors says they no longer wanted to make BLs, or if they switched companies.

I pay a lot of attention to queerness in BL, and that has changed a little bit too, though not in the way I expected. I had been expecting a more clear and steady trajectory in BL, but we've instead had real swings, and I've realized there will just always be shows that feel more or less actually gay or queer than others, and that's ok. Early Thai shows really spoiled us for good queer content, GayOK Bangkok and Diary of Tootsies are still shows by which i measure what we get now, and both of those are from 2016. I would say that more "mainstream" BL (i.e. by one of the major production companies) hit what turned out to be queer saturation around 2020 and that's where I was most surprised not see a more clear trajectory; rather than things getting more queer from there, I'd say a greater percentage of shows overall feel more queer, but we haven't (and I now suspect won't) reach the queerness we had in Thai tv in 2016. That being said, my secret running list of things I want to see in BL gets shorter every year as entries get crossed off, so I would say the range of queer experience is slowly getting captured as more content continues to be made by a wider range of production houses (PrEP being mentioned in a mainstream show is my white whale).

I know some people assume that shows are higher heat now overall, but I don't think that's true. I do think Thai television producers and directors have overalll gotten better at capturing sensuality, and acting workshops have improved chemistry-building overall too. But from what I can tell the ratio of high head and low heat content is still pretty similar to what it's always been, maybe slightly higher (e.g. at a quick glance I'd guesstimate 30% of shows had a sex scene in 2018 vs 40% in 2023).

Fandom

The main differences in fandom from the really early days and now are the ways we, as international fans, are able to engage with each other, with thai audiences at the same time, and with content creators, and the entitlement that comes with that. In the 2010s we were almost always watching after Thai airing, with either fansubs or, later, official subs, trailing online releases by days or weeks, which themselves may have trailed the Thailand airing date by days or weeks or sometimes even months. That became less true around 2019ish, and especially in 2020 when I think Thai producers were desperate to reach audiences during the start of the pandemic (and when audiences were desperate for something to distract us from what was happening in real life).

As a fan in the mid-late 2010s, watching something was either unofficial via a fansubber, or you were wading through hundreds of Thai comments to find anyone else writing about the shows in English. Now, it's actually rare we don't have immediate international distribution, though it may be paid. If the subs are not up at the same time as the official upload, even on free sites, fans get furious. It's a bit surreal to see people complain about waiting a few hours for subtitles, especially on YouTube, when we sometimes waited months for a series to finish being subbed (not to say people didn't complain back then too, because they sure did! But there were fewer international fans overall, and it wasn't an expectation that there would be subs, so fewer people complained when it happened). This meant that a lot of people only watched shows when they were complete, and people were not watching with any kind of synchronicity.

With international fans moving into simultaneous watching with Thai audiences, we suddenly had the chance to talk about shows as they were airing and affect the conversations about them and even, sometimes, the decisions. Folks seem to have differing opinions about what makes a BL, and what makes a BL good, and they are vocal about when a show doesn't meet their standard. This has always been true, but the strong opinions have more of an effect on the discourse when they're expressed in real-time to the show being aired. Also, when we have literally 3x the number of Thai shows being aired (nevermind other countries which have also increased), it seems so much more egregious to me to complain if a single show doesn't meet your particular taste. Just go watch something else! That was less possible in 2016, but now nobody has any excuse lol Please note here that I'm not saying shows should not be criticized. But when you have one loud faction saying shows should have nothing but innocent kisses if any skinship at all and showing more is distasteful and possibly homophobic, and another faction saying a show should be panned if they don't have at least one sex scene and if there is no good kiss it's homophobic, I don't know where that leaves content creators but I see the tension and how it sometimes results in my least favourite tropes like "blushing maiden" even after a couple has canonically had sex. These factions have always existed in BL fandom, this is not new, they just both seem particularly silly now with so much content to choose from.

The shows that get attention and the shows that get snubbed feel the same too, in all honesty. You can ask yourself the following questions:

Is the show a little slower paced?

Are the story beats less melodramatic?

Do its characters feel more human?

Do they feel more queer?

Is it a comedy?

Is there any risk of an unhappy ending?

Do people not think one of the lead actors is hot?

Do people ship one of the lead actors with someone who isn't his costar?

Do people have to do anything other than go to YouTube to watch it?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions, and especially to the last one, fewer people will be watching, even if the show is good. That's always been true. [Shows I'm thinking about when I say that: Make it Right, He's Coming to Me, My Ride, You're My Sky, Oxygen (though the sides in this one are also at fault), YYY, Something in my Room, Ghost Host Ghost House, Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul, Cooking Crush.] All this is to say, there have always been shows that have been ignored, though I agree with you OP that with more shows airing, more are being ignored at any given time.

The other thing is that when a show is good, it doesn't necessarily invite discourse. The messes are often what encourage people to dig in, fill in gaps, linger in the adrenaline. The part that does feel different is also related to the increase in genre BLs; genre stuff in general tends to get more attention in fandom spaces, and the way people are functioning as fans feels different in that they're bringing the way they interact with genre content to BL as BL has started having larger and better funded genre content. I'm thinking about those early genre BLs like He She It, My Dream, Love Poison, Golden Blood, So Much In Love, Why R U....we started getting genre shows in BL in I think 2017 and basically had 1-2 a year until 2020ish and then it increased from there; and the ones that had funding and decent distribution got engagement until they started going off the rails, and then they had even more engagement and then fell off. I don't think it's a coincidence that the shows last year that got people to write meta were La Pluie, Be My Favorite, and I Feel You Linger in the Air. When a show is building a world, there's more to say and interrogate about it, and when a genre show fails, it can fail more spectacularly than a regular romance story. The most popular BL shows used to all be straight-up BL bubble romances, but I think genre shows really started to take over a greater percentage of the popular spots in 2022 and 2023. Again, the main difference here is that there used to be 1-2 stand-out shows per year, and now there are closer to 6+ per year, and as we got more stand-out shows the variety of what type of show stood out as popular has expanded. I do think the overall percentage of shows that are more standard romance plots has reduced, partly because Thai production companies are running out of popular y-novels to adapt. So I'm anticipating we'll continue to get more genre content going forward, and maybe a higher percentage of original works too.

Shows I'm Enjoying Right Now

Right now, the Thai shows airing that I'm watching are:

Cooking Crush

Dead Friend Forever

Cherry Magic Thailand

City of Stars

The Sign

Playboyy

PitBabe

7 Days before Valentine

For Him

Of those, I'd currently most recommend Cooking Crush as a generic BL recommendation. Dead Friend Forever is very good, but is not a romance and is difficult for some to watch (there are a lot of dark themes in addition to the gore and scary bits).

Cooking Crush is doing so many things I love. I've written about the way it's set up its major conflict to be amongst the friend group here, and way the show is depicting communication between the two main characters and how they improve their communication with one another as they get closer here. Two of my biggest BL pet peeves are a conflict for the sake of a dramatic penultimate episode that ignores or retcons a character's growth or the building of trust that a couple has already gone through in the series, so the fact that this show is working so hard to establish strong communication between its leads and then setting up the significant drama to actually about friendship rather than romance is something I cannot overstate my excitement about. To tie this back into what I wrote above, this reminds me of Diary of Tootsies and I mean that in the best possible way.

Dead Friend Foreever is, like I mentioned above, not a romance; it's a slasher horror melodrama with a very well established mystery, an ensemble cast of mostly hateable characters (which I admit isn't usually my thing, but since they're likely all going to die as a result of the genre they're in I'm finding that more tolerable than usual, and there is at least one character I like). DFF did a great job of structuring the story for the ultimate payoff of information reveals. There are a lot of shows that have been messing with non-linear storytelling recently, Cooking Crush being one of the ones that actually does this poorly in my opinion, but Dead Friend Forever effectively uses non-linear storytelling so that we find out important pieces of information about particular characters at a time when that information will have the most emotional impact on what is happening in the "present" of the storyline. Every time there is a reveal, it informs what we've already seen, recontextualizes it, and means we understand some of the character motivations and actions differently from when we saw them the first time. I mentioned above that there are dark themes in this show; one of the things that I really like about this show is that the impact of class is not glossed over, and that the consequences of these events feel very real for the characters; people do terrible things in this show, but these actions are not treated lightly by the show itself.

You'd think these two shows would have nothing in common, but there are things that they share that put them both in my top category. Generally, in both of these shows, the character arcs are clear and logical; when a character does something, even if I don't like the action itself, I can understand exactly why they that and can see how it matches where they are in their arc at the time. The shows show change in characters as a result of what they experience, and the relationships in this show really matter. When characters start acting in ways that feel out of character or against their own arc because they have to in order to drive the plot forward, I struggle to remain invested; that's not happening with either of these shows. Both of these shows also treat serious topics with seriousness, and consequences for actions are real and felt by the characters in the show (and if someone gets away with something, the show is clear that this is not just). Nothing has happened that hasn't been signalled or implied earlier. Both shows also have clear class consciousness and represent the disparity caused by classism in a critical/harsh light.

Whew! I think I got to everything you asked. Thanks again for the extremely interesting question!

#ask game #bl meta #long post #typed so that I can stop thinking it #fandom meta #multi bl #thank you for the ask!

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bad268 · 1 month

Text

Behind the Goal (Pedri X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/FCB

Requested: Yee (ZEP ILY side note tho, what if I wrote for my favorite band people? like idk if anyone wants that but I kinda want to lol)

Warnings: none

POV: Third Person (They/them)

W.C.: 1196

Summary: It started as a harmless prank and ended with a mutual understanding…

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

It was not common knowledge, their relationship. One is a well-known midfielder for FC Barcelona and the other is a university student. It was not often that their schedules aligned enough to go out. Most of their dates had been in one of their houses or at the earliest hours of the day. It was not like they were trying to keep it under wraps. It just kind of happened.

One week, everything lined up. Y/n’s classes were virtual due to a campus-wide power outage that could not be fixed in the near future, and Pedri has (almost) back-to-back matches for the next week. Y/n thought this would finally be their opportunity to see Pedri in action and meet his friends. Despite being together for nearly a year, they had not met any of Pedri’s teammates. Could have been a red flag if not for the complicated schedules they all possessed.

The early morning before the match against Real Madrid was interesting. Y/n woke up early with Pedri, ate breakfast, and worked out with him before starting to attend their classes. Lucky for them, Pedri had left his phone on the charger before he went to shower, and Y/n thought it would be funny to change his lock screen because why not? They took a few silly pictures before going through them and deciding against putting one of the selfies on the lock screen. Instead, they found a cute picture of the two of them together, so they changed the blank screen and put the phone back just as the shower turned off.

Coincidentally, right as Pedri walked out, Y/n had to get on a Zoom call, so they did not need to worry about looking suspicious. Pedri walked up behind them, quietly leaving a kiss on the top of their head as he left for the match, knowing Y/n would meet him there after classes.

Usually, Pedri would put music on as he drove to the stadium, but in his rush, he decided to just listen to the radio. That being said, he did not look at his phone (no texting and driving in this household) the entire trip. It was not until he got into the locker room and met up with everyone that he even thought to check his phone. However, by the time he thought to check his phone, Gavi already had a hold of it.

“Oooo who’s this?” Gavi teased, turning the phone to show Pedri the lock screen. Pedri was confused at first because he did not remember changing his lock screen, but there it was, clearly changed. And to a picture of Y/n and him, no less. “Are you seeing someone and haven't told us?”

“Maybe,” Pedri blushed, reaching over to try and grab the phone from Gavi. “Maybe not. Give me the phone.”

“You are!” Gavi gasped in mock offense. “And you’re keeping this from me? What have I done?”

“It’s not you, Gavi,” Pedri laughed as he tried to grab the phone again. “If you give me the phone, I’ll show you more pictures and call them. Or you could wait until after the match and meet them in person like the original plan.”

“Who’s pictures are we looking at? And who are we calling?” A couple of the other players said amongst themselves, overhearing Gavi and Pedri’s conversation.

“Pedri’s significant other that he did not tell us about,” Gavi answered with a glare toward Pedri as he begrudgingly gave the phone back. “You better show us some good pictures.”

“They’re cute,” Fermin commented as he looked over Gavi’s shoulder at the phone. “Why would you hide them from us?”

“Show us some more, man,” Joao laughed, throwing his arm over Pedri’s shoulders as he messed up Pedri’s hair. “I bet you’ve got better pictures if you know what I mean.”

“I bet he would love to show you a million and one pictures, but it’s time for warmups,” Xavi said as he walked up behind the two.

“Oh, saved by the bell,” Gavi chuckled as he bumped shoulders with Pedri. “After the match right?”

“Yeah, the plan was dinner if you want to meet them in person,” Pedri explained as they ran out onto the grass.

“Team dinner on you? Count me in!” Gavi answered as he ran ahead.

“Not what I meant, but okay,” Pedri grumbled to himself as he followed swiftly after him.

The game was close, ending in Barcelona’s favor 2-1, so the team was ready to celebrate. And it was against their biggest rival no less, so some of them were ready to get steamed. Gavi, on the other hand, just really wanted to know who the secret significant other is.

Despite being at the game, Y/n did not go into the locker room after the win like the other wives and girlfriends of the players. Y/n was not the biggest fan of huge crowds, so they thought it would be best to hang back and meet Pedri at his car when most of the fans had dispersed. Being that they took public transit to the stadium, they did not need to worry about their vehicle. They planned to ride with Pedri to the restaurant and maybe go bar hopping after, depending on the vibe of the team.

It did not take nearly as long as they thought for the stadium to clear out, and they made their way out to the lot. They had a copy of Pedri’s keys, so they used them to unlock the car before climbing in. Then, they texted Pedri to let him know where they were, and almost immediately, he responded, saying that he was on his way out. Again, it did not take long for Pedri to make his way out of the tunnel and toward the car with Gavi, Fermin, and Joao walking in line with him, almost faster.

Pedri pushed the guys towards their own cars, saying, “You’ll meet them at the restaurant.” He waited for Gavi to get in his own car since he was the most reluctant to split off before turning and climbing into the driver’s seat. He leaned over the center console and met Y/n in the middle as they kissed.

“Congratulations on the win. I saw that goal you made,” Y/n praised as they rand their fingers up his chest to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Did you see my surprise?”

“If you’re talking about changing my background to a picture of us, and subjecting me to the teasing I received from the boys, yes. I saw your surprise,” He sighed before planting a kiss on their nose. “The bright side is that the boys are excited to meet you.”

“The way you say that makes me think there is also bad news,” Y/n trailed off as Pedri started the car and started driving out of the lot. “Tell me what happened.”

“A couple of the guys think you're attractive, so now I need to be watching my back.”

“Well, now you know how I feel with all of your fans.”

~~~~~

#pedri x reader #pedri x you #pedri x y/n #pedri #fc barcelona #fc barça #futbol #pedri imagine #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

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yuurivoice · 14 days

Note

I always forget that in the bittersweet summary around the beginning of chapter 3(i think, I haven't watched it in a hot minute) you mention that bittersweet is based off of your irl trauma/experiences(again, haven't watched it in a bit, sorry if I got anything wrong!(

Yeah! Not in its entirety or intensity, obviously but certainly in some regards I tapped into various experiences and feelings.

Specifically...

Seth & Jessie's relationship. Conflicted sexual romantic feelings with friends in settings where people might be homophobic. Being around crime in a criminal/gang setting. Alphonse and the loss of his parents. etc. and so forth.

I think the reason I am so drawn to adding the fantastical elements to the story is because it was my own fantasies and daydreams that helped me cope through a lot of those times. That and I just love urban fantasy.

So yeah, there's a lot going on that I draw from. I am not proud that in my youth I was in some sketchy places with sketchy people. I come from a family of bikers, and if you've been around motorcycle clubs and that sort of thing, you know that it's not uncommon for drugs, guns, real scummy types of people to be a part of that. If you've ever been to a club house, you get the vibes.

None of it was ever that dramatic or serious, but I was in close enough proximity to feel anxious and sick that I was there. That type of shit.

The parental aspects throughout BitterSweet are absolutely based in personal situations and relationships I've had with my own parents. My father and I were estranged when I was 15, he passed away when I was 16 just a couple weeks after I got something vaguely shaped like an apology. But before that, he was my hero. I looked up to him the way Seth looked up to Jessie, despite the flaws. So I've had something to say about relationships like that. Probably always will. Alphonse is sorta the flipside of that. The unfinished, imperfect feeling left when a relationship is suddenly cut short. That's something we'll get into in Chapter 4.

There are positive inspirations too. BitterSweet is the direct result of my experiences with soul mates, platonic, romantic, and everything in between. I wanted to talk about how transformative love could be, because I had (and continue to) experience it myself. Forgiveness and grace are things I've learned to extend to people who I wouldn't have expected to before that, and that shows up in the series as well.

So yes, BitterSweet is deeply personal to me and is so much more than just the relationship between the trio. They're wonderful and I love them and I love them as a package deal, but it's much bigger than that. The themes are much broader, and much deeper than "will they all end up together!?" which is why the Polyamory Discourse (TM) that cropped up around the end of Chapter 3 was deeply fucking offensive to me. The word "queerbaiting" was tossed around, which might be the most preposterous bullshit I'd ever had hurled my way in my years of being on the internet. It's okay, college freshmen whose first fandom was Voltron can be loud and obnoxious on the internet. LOL

Anywho. Shoutout to y'all who picked up what I was putting down. For everyone else, eat my cheeks.

#yuurivoice #bittersweet #yuurivoice bittersweet

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jakeyt · 1 year

Text

Covet: Chapter 1

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great.

Was.

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home.

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in.

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Word Count: 12k+

Genre: and they were ROOMMATES; slowburn; enemies to lovers; enemies to lovers to friends to who knows what the hell they are

Warnings: (most of these are to come and not explicitly taking place in this chapter) 18+ (minors stay away); struggles with anxiety; absent parents; use of drugs and alcohol; sexual situations; etc. *each chapter will include the warnings that you should be aware of as the reader. i promise.* <3

Covet Masterlist

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

a/n: woo! hi all! this is the very first fic that i am publishing for the gvf fandom, so i will admit, that when i say i am a little (very) nervous. . .I MEAN IT. it’s taking a lot for me to share this. . .but, i am so very passionate about this work. i am truly dying to share it with you all.

this will be a longer, angsty, alternate universe (!!), slooowburn story (you'll have to wait for the ~stuff~, sorry).

and this chapter is a very long intro chapter. lol. sorry in advance.

i have pictures of the boys that can accompany the chapters, if you're interested in checking those out. . .pictures that aide in showing you what the boys look like as the story goes on. (for anyone interested, the doc will be attached in the notes at the end of the chapter.)

i hope anyone who reads this enjoys this little brain child of mine. it is very special to me and i hope it is received well.

please enjoy! <3

Disclaimer: this is absolutely, undoubtedly 110% a work of fiction. i do not claim to know greta van fleet. i do not claim that any of this actually occurred. again, this is a complete work of fiction. And, please, DO NOT steal this work, as it is 110% mine. plagiarism isillegal. and, as our friend google puts it, plagiarism is “illegal if it infringes an author's intellectual property rights.” and, being these words/ideas are my intellectual property rights. . .don’t take them. legal action will be taken if you take credit for any of my work.

_ _ _

Covet: to greatly desire, yearn for, or want a person.

And, on the same hand: to begrudge a person.

_ _ _

Chapter 1

May, 2022

Brooklyn, NY

The sun was shining brightly through the window of the Black and Gold, the cozy and charming record store you worked at in east Brooklyn.

It was quite the picturesque morning. You had woken with enough time to make a protein smoothie and take a light jog. And after your jog, you were decently sweaty and you’d still had enough time on the clock to take a relatively long shower afterwards.

Now, you were at the B&G, and you had about ten minutes before the shop opened. Today would be a busy one, so you took advantage of the calm before the storm.

You were using this time to sit behind the work computer and browse Amazon. You were on the hunt for a cute little cat tree. Today, you would be adopting a sweet feline that you’d recently inquired about from a nearby shelter. As soon as you got off work, you were set to pick her up.

You could hear the birds chirping so beautifully outside to welcome the spring day. You were glad you were opening the shop this morning. Anytime you opened, it felt so overwhelmingly relaxing and safe.

And, it felt even better to be working the opening shift on the very first day of your summer vacation. You sighed in relief of your summer officially beginning.

Your junior year of college had finally finished. It had absolutely been the most draining of your undergraduate years so far. So, you welcomed today gladly and openly. It was refreshing. You could actually breathe again.

It was very nearly the same refreshing feeling you always had when you finished with classes. That feeling of relief and finality that could compare to little else.

But, as much as you loved summer, you really did love school. You loved being a college girl and taking the proper steps to eventually live out your dream. There really was no question about how much you loved college. Everyday was spent pursuing your passion for writing to eventually become an author – it had been everything you’d ever wanted. Truly.

But, you were human. A human with anxiety at that. So, you loved times of peace and low stress.

Now, all you’d have to worry about was: reading and writing in your spare time; seeing your wonderful grandparents more often; and getting to hang out with Josh.

You grinned when you thought of the goofy, curly-headed man.

Josh Kiszka was your best friend in the city. You had been close for a few years. You had met each other at the Black and Gold about three years ago when you first walked into the record shop, asking if they were hiring. He had been the manager on duty that day. He’d taken little time that day to find the proper application for you to fill out, and had basically hired you on the spot. Now that you were so closely friends with him, that instance was so characteristically Josh, it brought another small smile to your face.

You began your job here almost as soon as you graduated high school. Your grandparents hadn’t allowed you to have a job in the city while you were still an ‘impressionable’ high schooler. Though, as soon as you turned eighteen and you walked the stage, diploma in hand, you bet your ass you started seeking out record stores to work for in the city. You loved music as much as you loved to write, so a record store was the only viable job option, in your opinion.

You had been determined to have a job nailed down before you ever stepped onto the campus of the Pratt Institute. Pratt had been the object of your desire ever since your sophomore year of high school when your sister, Elsie, who was then still a junior, had decided to attend there to maintain a degree in journalism.

Then, last year, you had watched Elsie so gracefully cross the stage and switch her tassel from one side to the other at that very Institute. She had given you a double thumbs-up and one of the dumb little faces you two would often exchange. And in that moment, you’d been so proud to have followed in her footsteps. She was your closest confidant, Josh coming in second.

While you both attended school, she had been your roommate. The summer before freshman year, you’d moved all of your necessary belongings into the apartment your grandparents had chosen for her the year prior. Living with her had been what all dreams were made of. It had been the two of you against the world – just like always.

But, last May, when she graduated, she’d officially left you. She had started traveling the world to be the best journalist the world would ever see. (You were, admittedly, a bit biased, but almost everyone who knew her knew what a fantastic writer she was.)

She was a hard worker, and as genetics would have it, so were you. You always had been the hardest worker in your class. You’d been a straight-A student as far back as you could remember. Your senior year of high school, all of your teachers had been beyond thrilled to write recommendation letters for you to submit with your application to Pratt.

Your teachers had waited with you, on baited breath, to receive the acceptance letter.

You had waited a few (long) months to receive the letter that answered every prayer imaginable. Pratt’d accepted you, and it was history from there.

You had then gotten your job here, at the Black and Gold, moved in with your sister to her apartment, and started school that August. You had decided several years prior that anywhere you went, you’d major in writing and minor in music (the latter falling under ‘media studies’ at Pratt).

And, even though you missed your sister, living alone had been an almost exhilarating experience for the past year. You were able to live life for you and you alone. It was wonderful. And, now, you were almost done with school, on your way to becoming an author.

And you had a cat on the way.

Life simply couldn’t get any better.

🌼 🌼 🌼

Like you knew it would be, this Friday in the shop had been a busy one. Everyone on this side of Brooklyn knew you got shipment in on Thursdays, and Josh always featured the best records to lure customers in further.

You weren’t unhappy to see all of the customers, though. You loved people. You loved getting to see regulars and meet new people. As did Josh.

At this moment, there was a lady in front of you both, asking if the record she was holding was ‘worth a shot’. It had been one that Josh had deemed appropriate for the ‘Featured Wall’ (a pegged wall with display hooks for the vinyl). Naturally, he was ready to talk it up. It was a film score. Of course.

“Now, this one is quite exquisite,” Josh said, in his mature voice, he held the vinyl with one hand. His other hand was flourishing as he spoke. “You see, this film was filled with such sorrow and heartache, but redemption all the same – the music from the feature reflects just that. It’s stupendous, really.”

Of course, the woman instantly became convinced. He had such a way of talking to people. Charisma was the word for it. You admired that about him. Though, there were many qualities you admired about the man. You could hardly begin to list them all.

You could easily say that being a good friend topped the list of wonderful things about him.

He had been the main person (besides your sister) that you turned to when you needed to talk for the past three years. But now that she was gone? He’d essentially been all you’d had for the past year. And you had already kind of known this about him, but the past year had taught you that he was easily the most empathetic person you’d ever met.

You loved Josh and you were always trying your hardest to be the kind of friend to him that he consistently was to you.

He checked the woman’s vinyl out for her, talking her ear off the whole time. He laughed at the right times, showing he was listening intently to every word she said. He had a way of drawing people in to him, and this older woman was no different.

As she left, he started talking to you, still facing the register, making sure to balance it after that transaction.

“I haven’t even had time to ask you,” he turned to you after closing the drawer. “How has your first official day of summer vacation been?”

You put a finger to your chin, pretending to think deeply at the question. You scrunched your lips to one side to add to the effect.

He chuckled at you, his eyes becoming soft. “You are so endearing, Y/N,” he gave you a look and a raise of his brow, a smolder on his face. “But not quite as endearing as that sister of yours.”

You laughed at that. Josh was a mess for Elsie. Since the first time she’d dropped lunch off for you at the shop, and he’d seen her that very first time – he’d been hooked. You were pretty sure he had actually drooled a little.

He’d been quite vocal about her to you, but you knew he thought he didn’t stand a chance. He believed she was completely out of his league. He was truly besotted by her.

“Well, let’s see, I’m –.”

“I’m ready!” The excited person at the register, who donned three original presses, was a regular. She was a young, mousy, high-school aged girl named Stacy. She had an appreciation for all things vintage. You and Josh both liked her a lot for her individuality.

You made a quick conversation with her, asking if she was out for summer yet. She sadly replied that she wasn’t, but she was ‘so ready to be.’ You grinned, telling her you totally understood.

She flitted out the door as soon as she’d appeared, and you turned to Josh, ready to continue. Though, the thing you were most excited for was what you decided to mention first.

“I’m getting my cat today!”

He opened his mouth wide, all of his teeth showing. He raised his hands above his head in excitement, lifting to his toes a little as well. He felt every ounce of joy that you did, you could tell.

“Your landlord gave the okay?” he asked, surprised, lowering back to earth with you.

Your landlord could be a pain in the ass at times, but at the end of the day, you had a way with people, like Josh. And, you had gotten your way when you had asked so very sweetly. You might have pulled the “I feel so alone since my sister left” card . . . but you really wanted a cat. And it wasn’t a complete lie. You did occasionally long for someone to keep you company. And a cat could do just that.

“Of course,” you scoffed, as if the question was absurd. Then you gave a little grin. “Who could say no to the sweet little thing that is me?” You have a hair flip, adding to the bit.

“I never tell you this, but your humility is your best trait,” he remarked.

You both laughed at that.

“And your quiet demeanor is yours,” you gave a cheeky grin that he returned.

It was that grin of his where his dimple showed, and more of his gums showed than his teeth.

“What are you naming it?”

“Her,” you corrected. “And I’m naming her Stevie.”

“Nicks or Wonder?”

“Wonder,” you stated, as if it was even a question.

“Why did I even ask?” You both shook your heads, grinning at each other. “I love it, Y/N. It fits you.”

You decided to change the subject to him and his life. “How has your filmmaking been going?”

Josh loved film, and his ultimate dream was to be a director. He loved music, but not quite to the same degree as film.

“It’s alright,” he shrugged. Then, you could practically see the lightbulb gleam above his head, his eyes brightened with the imaginary bulb. “That reminds me! Could you, pretty please, with the reddest cherry on top, ask Elsie if she’d be in one of my upcoming projects?”

“Josh, she’s hardly in town,” you feign offense with an exaggerated hand to your heart and a gasp. “And what about me? Am I chopped liver? We do share the same genetics, my friend.”

“Y/N. She is my muse,” he gave you the funniest look of desperation. “Please.”

You conceded. You knew as soon as he asked you that you would talk to her about it. Of course you would. It was Josh and you’d do anything for him.

“Of course, Joshua,” you pinched his cheek and ruffled the curls that sat atop his head. The beads of his headband that laid against his neck shook as you did so. “Anything for you.”

He literally leapt with joy at that. And you knew the smile that was on his face wouldn’t leave for hours. You wished you could enamour someone in the way Josh was so enamored by your sister. That was a trait of hers you had been jealous of for years – she drew people in. Just like Josh drew people in.

You loved people, yes, but you weren’t this grand lamp that drew in all of the people around you like moths to a flame.

You longed for the day a guy would think of you the way Josh thought of her.

He continued, “Anyway, I am just so exci–.”

His eyebrows scrunched as his phone started blaring I Will Survive in his pocket, he got it out and his eyes squinted even harder as he looked at the wide screen.

He never got calls during work. Josh’s entire family knew his schedule. His brother Sam and their friend Danny were his roommates, so they knew. And, Josh talked to his mom so much. Like, they talked so often you simply knew that she knew what he had for lunch every single day. She obviously knew he was busy, which translated to his father knowing. And his sister was overseas, pursuing a degree.

“Everything okay?” you questioned, curiosity lacing your tone as his brows stayed knitted.

He shook his head, as if shaking himself from his daze. “Yeah, I just never–,” he shook his head again, his eyes widening as he slid his pointer finger across the screen. Josh held his phone like your grandpa held his, almost unsure of the smart device. He held the phone to his ear suddenly. His lips set in a pursed line, and his jaw clenched as the other person started talking. Then, as if he forgot you were standing there, already engaged in the cellular conversation, he looked at you suddenly. Then, he mouthed an “I’ve gotta take this,” and headed outside. He placed himself outside the shop in a way you couldn’t see him and your interest grew tenfold.

Who could it possibly be?

🌼 🌼 🌼

Minutes ticked by. The sun had sunk just a tad bit lower in the sky. And, you had checked out countless customers who all seemed to finish making their selections at the same. time.

You knew Josh had seen them all leave in a steady flow, bags in hand. On a normal day, he would have taken that as his cue to come back in and help you. But, he hadn’t come back in. Instead, he’d stayed out of sight, outside the store. You checked the clock that hung behind the cash register.

He’d been outside for thirty minutes. Damn.

You needed to leave in about an hour to get your cat.

He’d better be back in by then, you thought slightly grumpily. You knew your irritation wasn’t necessarily warranted. You knew if he was still outside, it was serious. At this point, you were more fuelled by your spirit of inquiry than anything else. You just wanted to know what was going on on the other side of Josh’s iPhone.

Finally, about five minutes later, he stomped back in. Josh never stomped. He usually glided.

Well. Now you wondered even more what the matter was. His face read dread and a healthy tinge of anger.

Before you could turn to him to ask your burning questions, a customer came up. You hurriedly checked him out, barely making conversation. At this point, you were more worried for your frazzled friend than making polite conversation with a stranger. And, again, that’s why people were drawn to Josh and not you. He wouldn’t have let his personal issues change his interactions with those around him.

Except now, he faced away from the store, back slightly hunched as he stared out the massive window behind the register. His arms were crossed, indicating even more that he was in deep thought.

As soon as you’d placed the customer’s record in one of the gold bags that were associated with your store, you turned to Josh. He was now teetering back and forth on his ropey sandals, his hand continuously raking through his once-perfectly-tousled curls. Now, the curls on his head matched the nervous energy he was exuding.

He was angled away from you, in his own world.

“Josh?” You were quiet, both for the benefit of the few customers in the store and your friend’s obvious distress. You stepped the couple of steps it took to be closer to him. You placed a hand on his arm, hoping your calm tone and the delicate gesture would communicate your concern.

He seemed to boost just the slightest bit at your touch. He turned his head in your direction, yet his eyes stayed planted to the happenings occurring outside the window. He was watching people. You knew he was surely doing so to latch on to one of their happy feelings, and feel that instead of the obvious anguish that was overtaking him.

His eyes met yours finally. You knew your eyes widened a bit when you saw his. Had he been crying? His eyes were a bit puffy, a tinge red and so sullen. You were definitely taken aback. Josh radiated joy almost always. . .this was a new emotion of his for you to experience. He hardly let bad things affect him, as he was always determined to find the bright side of things. And the joy he’d had when you two had last talked only forty minutes ago, was gone. His mouth was a flat frown.

“It’s–,” he cleared his throat, his voice having been laced with emotion he didn’t seem ready to show. “It’s my brother.”

Your heart started racing, all things that could possibly be wrong were suddenly wrong in your mind. What had happened?

“Oh no, Josh,” your hand squeezed his arm, you moved closer, hoping your proximity may help him. “Sam? What-what happened?”

Josh shook his head, the strings that tied his beaded headband together in the back shaking slightly. “No. Not Sam,” he scratched at his eyebrow with a finger, his eyes still looking concerned underneath them. “Jake.”

You internally slapped yourself for not thinking of Jake before. To be fair, he never called Josh. He lived in Illinois, living a completely separate life from his twin. But, how could you have forgotten about Josh’s literal twin? Josh brought him up in conversation from time to time, but he was just so far away. You never thought of him.

Now you understood why he was so downtrodden. You knew twin telepathy was real. If you hadn’t known before you’d become friends with Josh, you surely did now. Josh had explained his beliefs about it many times before. You had absolutely no doubts he was feeling every emotion Jake was feeling in this moment. An empathetic twin? You couldn’t begin to imagine the weight.

You suddenly had to know what was going on – even more than you’d needed to before. You shook your head, letting your hand fall from Josh’s arm and giving him some space to feel what he was feeling. “He never calls you,” you stated the first thing that you’d thought. “What did he need–,” you checked your slightly accusatory tone. Not the time, Y/N. “I mean, what happened to him?”

You were honestly kind of scared for his response.

“His, um, his girlfriend–,” Josh’s eyebrows drew together in anger. “No–his ex-girlfriend. She–,” he held a clenched fist to his mouth, and you saw tears gather in his eyes. “She cheated on him.”

You stepped back once, slightly shocked. Josh was this distressed over a breakup?

You tried to keep your tone understanding. “Oh no,” you tried, really.

“Yeah,” he rubbed his forehead, just below the headband. He sniffed the tears away. His eyes lightened a bit. Just a bit. It seemed to have lifted off of his shoulders a bit. Maybe it was because he’d finally stated it out loud, and the emotions were finally able to come out of his body. He wasn’t holding onto the entirety of it anymore. He looked down again. “I can’t, no– actually, I can,” he nodded to himself, a heinous smirk on his face. “I can believe she’d–,” he scoffed haughtily.

You were doing your best to follow along. But if he continued with broken-up sentences, you weren’t sure you’d be able to keep up. “Yeah?”

He finally snapped out of his daze even more and locked his eyes with yours. He seemed to remember where he was, his eyes tracing the establishment quickly, to make sure customers were alright and no one was nearby. Then, he looked back at you.

“I know it seems a little ridiculous,” he stated. “To be so upset over a break-up. But, this girl. Jake, he–,” Josh swallowed an obvious knot that had blossomed in his throat at saying his twin’s name. “Jake followed her to that stupid ass college of hers when we graduated and– he was so selfless. So selfless, Y/N. I can’t believe she’d be so selfish. She basically spit in my brother’s face.”

Your eyebrows knit together. You didn’t know much about Jake, so hearing all of this was incredibly interesting to you, to say the least. You were sipping on some piping hot tea while also learning of a mystery person who shared the same DNA as your best friend.

He continued. “Actually, I think it’s worse than spitting in one’s face,” he scoffed, his tongue curling in his mouth, his dimple showing for an emotion completely opposite of joy. “She kicked him so hard. . .he is bleeding. And I can’t–,” more tears gathered in his eyes. Oh no. Josh tears were surely going to make your tears spring soon, and you didn’t like showing those.

“You can’t what, Josh?” you urged, trying to push the conversation forward, past the pauses that could cause the waterworks.

He looked you in the eyes, his eyes so sad. “He is leaving there asap, and I can’t take him in,” a tear left his right eye. “And I refuse to let him go back to our hometown. He is better than that. I want him–no, I need him here with me.”

Josh’s tone was more serious than you’d ever heard it. You didn’t want to peep a word, you wanted him to continue what he was saying. But, you had to ask. Though, you knew the answer. You were denying what you already knew you had to do.

“Why can’t you take him in?” you pondered.

“Landlord was already iffy about me moving Sammy and Danny in when they came to town,” he placed both hands over his face, smoothing them down to his cheeks. “My apartment was a strictly two-person apartment and somehow my landlord let me squeeze a third one in there. He wouldn’t ever let me have more than that. I could ask, I guess, but getting shot down right now would seriously kill me,” a tear fell from his eye. “But Jake can’t afford his own place right now. He’s been working the worst jobs down there. Terrible income.”

Your heart beat erratically in your chest. You knew what you had to do. You knew it the moment you asked him why he couldn’t take in another person. You’d been to Josh’s apartment. The three boys really were kind of squeezed into that apartment, but they made it work better than most people could. How they did it, you didn’t know. But, you did know what you had to offer.

“He can stay with me.”

“What?” his eyes widened to the point of you wondering if they’d bulge out of his head. He looked like that one emoji who was on the verge of tears, due to gratefulness. “Y/N, you couldn’t possibly be serious.”

Before you said anything else, you quickly contemplated it once more. You didn’t know the guy. You literally forgot that he existed for a moment today. And you were about to take him in. What in the hell did you just offer? You internally berated yourself for questioning your decision when you looked at Josh again, though. His eyes were so wide, so gracious, so kind. You had wanted to be the friend that Josh deserved for a long time. You knew your decision.

“Yes, Josh,” you gave him a small, hesitant smile. “He can stay with me for a while.”

Josh looked more than appreciative, but he had a question in his eye. You immediately knew it as foreboding guilt. “Y/N, I did not mean to make you think that you had to–.”

“I know,” you smiled a wider, more genuine smile now. “That’s why I offered,” you reached out to grab his arm again. “You would do it for me.”

He would. You could feel your eyes well with emotion and his did the same. Before you knew it, he was grasping you so tightly, like you were his lifeline. He said thank you’s and you have no idea what this means to me’s more times than you could count.

You hugged him tighter to you. You really would do anything for him.

Even if it meant taking in a stranger.

But– Jake wasn’t really a stranger. Well, he was. He was a person you had never even looked at in your life, so he was a stranger. You wouldn’t know him if you saw him across the street.

(You hadn’t frequently been to Josh’s apartment and the photos you had seen on his phone were terribly shaky at best.)

The more you thought, maybe you would recognize him from a distance. He was Josh’s twin, after all. But for the life of you, you couldn’t remember ever seeing a picture of him. Maybe he looked just like Josh.

Maybe he would be just like Josh. He’d called him selfless, after all. And Josh was the most selfless person you knew, besides your grandparents.

You had to convince yourself that you hadn’t just made one of (if not the) most impulsive decisions in your life.

Instead, you just hugged Josh even tighter to you, remembering that his happiness and calmness was what mattered right now, most of all.

🌼 🌼 🌼

It had been a week since you’d made the most drastic (and mindless) decision of your life.

Josh had decided it would take about a week for Jake to get his stuff together and get here.

So, the day was here for him to move in.

You had wanted to quiz Josh as much as you possibly could during the week that was leading up to this chaotic decision, but you hadn’t had the chance. Josh had only been at the record store the day after you had offered your apartment up. Then, he had left in his little beat-up car. Followed along by Sammy and Danny in a small U-Haul to pick up his (their) other brother.

You weren’t sure how Josh’s little humpty dumpty car was going to make the nearly-fifteen-hour trip. You were sure, however, that that thing was set to burst into flames at any given moment. The brown rust that had overtaken the majority of the metal on the car, the paint that was chipped so badly you could hardly tell what the original color of the car had been. And then there were the terrible fumes that came from the exhaust. . . Blech. Even just thinking about it, you had to physically shake your head to rid yourself of the smell as you thought of it.

It was that one car that, if you had your windows rolled down at a stoplight next to it, you rolled your windows back up as quickly as you possibly could.

You politely refused to ride in that thing, seeing as you didn’t want to ride passenger in a ticking time bomb. But, you loved how much Josh loved the car.

It had come all the way from Frankenmuth, Michigan with him when he moved to the city years ago, and he seemed bound and determined to drive it until the old, rusty wheels fell off.

You brought yourself out of your thoughts and went to get the vacuum out of the coat closet. You rolled it out by its squeaky wheels and tended to the hallway and bedrooms first. You gave them all at least three sweeps, giving the guest room an extra. Living room was next.

You were so nervous to show a complete stranger your apartment. You wanted to make a good impression, and you needed Jake to know that you were a person who liked things kept clean. You’d known ever since you offered your place up last week, that you would wind up deep-cleaning the entire apartment at some point during the week.

And, due to the busyness that could only be described as summertime at the Black and Gold, you were just now getting to it. It seemed that everyone on this side of New York was always suddenly inspired to grow their record collections during the summer time. You thought it was maybe due to the sunshine and the generally carefree nature of summer that brought a sense of melancholy and nostalgia to everyone, including yourself. Summer could simply be viewed as an opportunity to live life rather than go about your days in constant routine and mindless motions.

You had been scheduled to work the morning of this cloud-ridden Friday, but you had personally requested to only work the morning so you could prepare your apartment for your burgeoning guest the second part of the day.

You looked around your cozy apartment, a hand on your hip to ground your exhausted body. You were proud of your work. You then looked at the gold clock that hung next to the front door. It was just now 5:14 p.m. on the dot, and your apartment was basically sparkling. The only thing you really had left to do was vacuum the living room.

So, you ran your vacuum over the carpet of your living room. And, after giving it at least four complete sweeps, you gave it one last once over. You decided it was as good as it was going to get. As you put away the vacuum, you wondered how close Josh and the guys were.

He had called you earlier that day to inform you that they had been more than halfway back. That was around 10 a.m. At that point, he’d thought they would be arriving around 6:30 or 7 that evening. You checked the clock on the wall again, and realized the minute hand hadn’t moved at all for the past fifteen-ish minutes. You crinkled your brows. Then, your stomach fell to your feet.

You raced over to your phone on the counter, almost tripping over Stevie. You apologized to her, as if your walking had caused a real inconvenience to her. She had barely budged in your rushed stumble.

When you’d picked her up, the humane society had sworn she had some of the Ragdoll breed in her. With her bright blue eyes and fluffy combined white and light gray fur. So, being you, you’d researched the breed. She held true to many positive traits of the breed. Though, one you’d learned that she inhabited, was how she did the ‘cat flop’ so frequently. A very Ragdoll-esque thing to do. And, it was more cute than anything, honestly.

You got to your iPhone and pressed your finger to the screen of your phone, lighting it up.

5 missed calls from Josh. 3 text messages from Josh.

And it was 6:05 p.m.

“Well, shit,” you mumbled frustratedly to yourself. You rubbed your forehead, a light sheen of sweat coming off on your hand. You opened your phone to read his texts.

Josh, 5:02 p.m.: We are about 1 hr and some change away

Josh, 5:30 p.m.: Stuck in traffic :/

Josh, 5:55 p.m.: You ok???

And then you noticed the missed calls had come in a string. You had actually just missed the last one, it having come in at six o’clock on the dot.

You suddenly took notice of the fact that you could feel the sticky sweat in your armpits and decided you had to take a shower. You gave him a quick response.

You, 6:06 p.m.: Where are you now? I’ve gotta hop in the shower. Lost track of time. Ugh

He responded instantaneously.

Josh, 6:06 p.m.: Lol it’s ok. We are still about 30 minutes away

Josh, 6:06 p.m.: IM GLAD YOURE OK!!!!!

You smiled to yourself, and quickly sent a smiley emoji back in response. You were about to take the fastest shower of your life. Taking your phone with you to keep better track of time, you hurriedly went to the closet that held the washer and dryer at the end of the hallway. You set the dryer to run an air dry cycle on the guest room sheets. You simultaneously stripped your clothes and threw them in the hamper that sat in the laundry room.

Then, you headed to the bathroom to (very) quickly scrub down.

🌼 🌼 🌼

As you got out of the shower, you crossed to the white, laminate countertop that held the sink, and tapped the screen of your phone to view the time.

It was only 6:15 p.m. You had managed to take a shower and shave your legs in a span of less than ten minutes.

Hell yeah.

You didn’t even wrap the towel around your body as you normally would have. You didn’t want to dirty a new one, and you decided you’d take a quick moment to commemorate the time you’d had living alone. You let yourself air dry as you ran as fast as possible, stark naked, to your bedroom. You were hoping the faster the speed, the quicker your body would dry.

Once you made the not-so-long trek to your bedroom, you opened the drawers you’d need to use from the beautiful, vintage, white chest of drawers your sister had left behind for you to keep. You two had gone thrifting one day your freshman year, and she’d found it first, so she’d gotten dibs. It had only been fair for you to inherit the piece of furniture, considering her new profession would have her in no one place for too long.

You quickly got a pair of underwear and a sports bra out, sliding them on slightly slowly due to the adhesive your body had created from the still-drying water.

You chose a pair of black jean shorts for your bottoms, opting against any long pants as you knew the material would only stick to your legs uncomfortably. Then, you chose the dark, mossy green tank top you saw lying atop all of the others in your drawer of tanks and tees.

You gave yourself a quick look in the mirror that was attached to the chest. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed by the cute outfit that was made in record time. It was simple, but it was cute.

You grabbed the gold necklace that held your first initial from the dresser in front of you, clasping it around your neck.

Good job thinking on the spot, Y/N. And, being the (admittedly) weird person you were, you gave yourself a quick little pat on the back for all the work you’d done so far today, including the outfit decision. A few water droplets landed on your hand from your hair that was steadily leaking onto your tank-top, already creating an ugly wet spot on the back of the shirt.

You poked the screen of your iPhone, seeing the newest text from Josh as you slid the screen to unlock it.

Josh, 6:17 p.m.: We just dropped Daniel and Samuel off at our place.

Josh, 6:17 p.m.: They had plans with a couple of girls tonight.

Josh, 6:18 p.m.: Soooooo it will just be Jacob and myself

Josh, 6:18 p.m.: We are like 5 min away btw

You didn’t always understand Josh sending multiple texts in a row rather than just combining them all into one. It was a silly thing he did that you found slightly chaotic, but that made it very Josh. He would send the thoughts as they came to him. Just as he said whatever thought may pop into his mind if you were to be talking to him in person.

You spared no time as you brushed through your sopping wet hair with the ever-present brush that sat atop the chest of drawers. Water flung from the ends, onto your back, and onto the rest of your bedroom as you quickly brushed. You grabbed the claw clip nearest to you and made a quick twist of your hair. Then, at the back of your head, you secured it with the claw clip. Good enough.

You pinched your cheeks, adding some life to them. You had, so far, opted for a foundation-free summer. You were trying to give your skin a break. Though, you did slap a couple layers of mascara on. You did have the decency to want to look presentable for your about-to-be roommate.

Your phone screen read that it was 6:22. They would be here any–.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

Josh’s signature series of knocks. You could swear he added a little flair every time he knocked on your apartment’s door. If it made any sense, the knocks seemed to get a little more zesty every time he visited your home.

You walked quickly to the front door, scanning the apartment again as you walked through it. You were very proud of how it looked. You grabbed the candle striker that sat behind a picture on an end table and lit the maple pancakes scented candle that sat on the same table. You wanted to add to the cozy feeling you wanted for your apartment.

You wanted Jake to feel welcomed.

As you went to open the door, you heard the same knocks start up again. You rolled your eyes at your friend’s blatant impatience.

As you opened the door, a piece of hair fell from your up-do, onto your face. It made you momentarily close your eyes as it tickled your eyelashes. You puffed it out and away from your face with a breath. You tucked it behind your ear, and your eyes opened to see Josh’s smile.

It seemed to be a smile that said, ‘I’m sorry in advance.’

You gave him a smile of encouragement. Surely Josh was just on edge, probably from feeling so much stress and emotion for the past week.

Then, you saw movement behind Josh, your breath caught in your throat.

Oh.

You weren’t expecting Josh’s identical twin to look so different from him right off the bat. Did they look similar? Yes. You could definitely tell that they were twins, but Jake was just different from Josh.

His tanned skin was like Josh. But, you initially noticed their differences more than similarities.

His hair was longer than Josh’s. It was wavy rather than exhibiting the springy curls as Josh’s did. Where Josh’s hair indicated buoyancy, Jake’s hair showed an alluring appeal. You suddenly wanted to run your fingers through it.

Okay, stop it, Y/N.

But, then, the amber-brown eyes that looked past his brother and into the apartment caught your attention before you were able to stop it. They stopped you. They were like Josh’s, but you hadn’t ever cared to notice the perfect mixture of color in Josh’s eyes before. But when it came to Jake’s? Apparently his eyes held a special kind of drug that you couldn’t help but be lured in by. They held a strange sense of something you’d never known you’d needed.

You just couldn’t quite place your finger on what void it was these eyes filled.

It was Josh’s voice that snapped you out of your daze. “Y/N?”

When you came to, you realized he was waving a hand in front of your face.

Well.

That was embarrassing as hell. Your first interaction with your brand new roommate had you in a trance that you literally had to be brought out of with a calling of your name and a gesture. You would have slapped your forehead if you wanted to humiliate yourself any more, but you really didn’t want to add more fuel to the flame in your now-rosy cheeks. You could feel them burning hot.

You caught Josh’s eyes first as you snapped out of your trance. Afraid to lose yourself in his twin’s eyes again, you held Josh’s as you introduced yourself to this new person. Josh’s eyes were safe. Admittedly, it was weird for you to stare at Josh as you introduced yourself to his brother, but.

“I’m–.”

“This is Y/N, Jake,” Josh introduced you. You shared a small smile with your best friend, silently thanking him for saving you from any more awkwardness. The dimple in his cheek showed as he gave you his close-mouthed smile. “Y/N, this is Jake.”

You forced yourself to look at him, out of politeness.

Although, when you looked at him this time, you realized he wasn’t holding any sort of smile on his face. His eyes weren’t showing warmth, as Josh’s almost always did. He was looking at you with a stone-cold face. No emotion seemed to show.

“Hi,” his jaw was clenched in his greeting.

“Hey! Welcome to New Yor–.”

“Can we unload the U-Haul now?” He was looking at Josh when he said it, as if he hadn’t even been trying to listen to you.

Suddenly you weren’t anywhere near a trance-like state anymore. Instead, you wanted to roll your eyes at his childish greeting and his inability to show you respect. It was almost like he was a child being forced to apologize for something, when in all actuality, he was being allowed the opportunity to stay with you. Could he act like an adult? You were being one by allowing him this opportunity. It felt as though you were pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone for him.

Well, to be fair, it was mostly for Josh’s sake.

You decided to ignore it. Perhaps he was just awkward when meeting new people. God knows you had already been awkward in your own way.

“Uh– um, yeah,” you clumsily responded. “Let’s go ahead and get started.”

🌼 🌼 🌼

The three of you had almost finished unloading the U-Haul. He hadn’t brought much, really. It had not taken long at all to get this moving truck nearly empty. There were only a few boxes and a couple of guitar cases left, near the front of the truck.

Josh and Jake had unloaded heavier things, allowing you the opportunity to take in some of the smaller things.

One of the things you’d enjoyed carrying in the most had been the majority of his record collection. You had thoroughly appreciated the mass amount of boxes that included vinyl. You had nosily picked through them as you had dropped off each box to his room.

You had instantly been a fan of the Cream and Eric Clapton you’d come across. You loved good ‘ol Rock ‘n’ Roll.

He didn’t seem to share quite the same amount of love for soul as Josh did, though you still noticed enough of the blues to make you smile. Even if he was awkward with new people, his music taste was something of worth. You even saw a few duplicates of records you already owned. Although, there were enough albums that you didn’t own that you also admired his taste in that capacity. You did have quite the expansive collection.

As you passed through the living room, ready to continue to help, you passed the guys. Each of them were carrying a couple of boxes, chattering away about something. You wanted to know what they were talking about, you wanted to include yourself in an easy conversation with your new roommate. But you knew you shouldn’t interrupt, so you went about your business helping.

When you made it back to the U-Haul, you saw the twins had pushed what was left to the front of the truck. You only noticed two beat-up guitar cases were left. You went ahead and decided you’d be the hero of the day by carrying in the last of the things he’d brought. Maybe it would show him how helpful you were. How you liked to help people.

All things considered, offering up a room in your apartment to a perfect stranger should show that, but you were an overachiever, okay?

And maybe this one thing would be the key to him opening up to you.

As you reached both hands out for the cases, another hand slapped one of your hands away.

What the hell?

You turned to see Jake. His eyebrows were scrunched, his eyes annoyed.

Again, what even?

“I can get these, okay?” he sighed, seemingly put-out.

You didn’t pass up that opportunity to roll your eyes at him. You hadn’t meant to, truly. But you just couldn’t help the natural response to his ungrateful attitude that marred the two interactions you had had with him so far.

“Well–,” you stopped yourself from saying anything. You forced yourself to put things in perspective. “Okay.”

You stepped back, watching as he grasped the handles of each worn, leather case. You followed him up the stairs as he carried them. You were not going to offer to help. You just decided to keep to yourself as you thought it all through.

The longing for normal decency was grating on you. It pissed you off when people couldn’t be generally kind. You knew the irony considering how you had just rolled your eyes at him. Though, you were different from him. You had tried to be nice and fair and decent. You were giving him a place to live, for God’s sake.

The little spark of empathy that lit up in you saw its way through to your heart and you remembered. You remembered how distraught Josh had been at this upheaval in Jake’s life. Surely that meant something. Jake really was going through a lot.

This–this was all so new for him. It was a whole lot of new. New city. Completely new life. He was saying hello to so much, but saying goodbye to even more.

As soon as you made it back into the apartment, you found your way to Josh.

Thankfully, you hadn’t had to walk behind Jake for long. His fast walking up the stairs was helpful. He had seemed absolutely desperate to get away from you.

Josh was leaning against the back of the couch, writing something in his notebook that stayed almost permanently in his back pocket. It was for his musings, the little thoughts he got that inspired more. You never really questioned it, just admired his love to write.

You situated yourself next to him. As you did so, he closed the notebook, putting it back in his pocket. He put the pen he’d been using back in the cup on your kitchen countertop. You had deemed it Josh’s pen awhile back. It was his favorite. He claimed it wrote smoother than the others.

“Josh,” you knew your tone communicated some of your worry.

He wrapped an arm around you, and you leaned into it. You loved how he just always seemed to know.

“He’s going through a lot, Y/N,” he said quietly, then kissed the side of your head. He said the next words even more quietly than the previous ones. “And I should have warned you. . .he acts like an ass when his emotions are all over the place. He doesn’t know how to handle them like I do.”

You chuckled. And you didn’t even have to see him to see his smug, joking smirk. Josh snickered along with you, laughing at his own words. You laid your head on his shoulder, so glad he was there to alleviate the growing tension in your shoulders.

And all too soon, the grim reaper was coming out of his bedroom. He pushed a hand through the wavy hair that touched just below his shoulders. You wished you didn’t notice how it fell so perfectly as he pushed it back.

Jake seemed restless as he cleared his throat. “Do you have shee–?”

“Sheets!” You left Josh’s grasp to go get the sheets out of the dryer.

They were still warm from being in the closed dryer when you piled them up in your arms. You cursed yourself for forgetting to get them out of the dryer. Ugh. You didn’t need him judging you for your lack of thinking to do so.

You passed by the boys, who were once again in deep conversation, as you speed-walked to the guest – no, Jake’s– bedroom. You plopped the sheets on the bed, a ruffled mess of linens. You made quick work of adjusting the fitted sheet to your liking, the loose sheet falling swiftly on top. You tucked all of the corners just right. Then, you got into the bedroom’s little closet and grabbed the white quilt that had stayed up there since you’d last used and washed it. It had been waiting to be used again for a whole year.

Once you’d situated the bed with its pillows and all of its pieces, you took a moment to consider something. What you’d signed yourself up for. How different this was going to be from living with Elsie. Things were going to be so different.

For one, he was a guy. You had never been roommates with a man before. Even more, you hadn’t ever been roommates with anyone but Elsie. And she was your sister. And with her being your sister (and first best friend), there had been nothing but ease and comfort. And, so far, all you had with Jake was tight perplexity and irritation. And just plain tension.

You closed your eyes to the suddenly overwhelming brightness of the room. You rolled your shoulders around, your neck moving along with the action. You wanted to alleviate some of the tightness that was already taking up residence in your upper back and neck.

You felt Stevie rub herself up against your bare leg. Her soft fur and loud purring calmed you in its own special way. You smiled to yourself. The sweet little feline had used her week of knowing you to make one big place for herself in your heart. She seemed to automatically know you on first meeting and had already shown you so much love. She had shown a few times that week that she was a cuddly girl who simply lived for being in your presence.

Although, you felt her leave your legs sooner than you’d anticipated. You opened your eyes in curiosity, watching her cross the room from your legs to Jake’s belongings. She rubbed herself against the boxes and then against the guitar cases – no, no, no.

“Stevie,” you hushed at her. “Let’s not mess with his things.”

You scooped her up quickly, her body going slack in your arms, her purring reverberating through your chest. You assumed it wasn’t the best option for the cat to rub against the blessed cases. What was on the inside of those cases had to be special. The cases themselves really did look like they’d seen better days. Silver duct tape was the only thing that held certain parts of them together.

You left his bedroom, finding the twins, still conversing.

You didn’t want to stop their talking, but. You didn’t want to feel like an outlier in your own home. You were already afraid enough of what was to come with Jake being a constant presence. You just wanted to feel like you were in some type of control.

“The bed is made,” you interrupted them. Both of their heads turned to you. Josh’s more so. Your best friend looked at you with kind eyes and Jake’s face barely changed. His head was barely turned to you, really. It was almost as if he had tuned you out.

“Thanks,” he said more to Josh than to you. He then fully placed his attention back on his twin, seeming to try to shut you out again.

Josh continued to look at you, so it was a weird lull. The air around you three was pulled taut with tension. You didn’t know what to say. You and Josh held eye contact while Jake burnt a hole into the shaved side of his brother’s head with his eyes.

What. the. actual. fuck?!

It was obvious Jake didn’t want you included in anything. All you could conclude was that he was simply being an idiot. It was going to be a very rude awakening when he suddenly remembered you two were going to be roommates. He’d have to live with you. You were going to be there, whether he liked it or not. . .until he eventually was secure enough to (hopefully sooner rather than later) move out.

You could not wrap your mind around how elementary he was acting, considering how you were uplifting your entire life, unnecessarily, on his behalf. Again, more for Josh’s sake than his. . . But still.

Not the point.

This was your home and he was not respecting you enough within the walls of it. Your eyes pleaded with Josh to do something.

Jake pulled his phone out of his back pocket, suddenly interested in the smart device. He leaned against the back of the couch, leisurely playing a game on his phone. He was now ignoring you and Josh both.

Finally, Josh spoke, “Let’s order some Hibachi to-go, shall we?”

Jake responded before you could with a dense “sure.”

“That sounds wonderful,” you put on a bigger, genuine smile of thanks to Josh for thinking of food.

You really were hungry. Perhaps Jake was hungry too. That could have been part of the reason he had been acting like a complete crab. Your stomach suddenly felt emptier than it had before and you were anxious for Josh to order.

“You know what I want,” you pointed an airgun his way, shooting it dorkily. He laughed along with you. You were glad that even though his twin was an ass, Josh was still the same as he always was.

“Same,” Jake again, dull as ever. Could he not speak more than five words in a row? Were compound sentences simply too much for his brain?

Josh nodded, sending a smile your way. His eyes read an apology. It really wasn’t his place to apologize. Still, you were positive it was as close as you’d ever get to Jake apologizing. So, you accepted it, winking in response.

He held up his phone. “I’ve just gotta go call it in,” he crossed to the small fire escape right outside of the French doors in your living room.

You watched with desperate eyes as he left you with his wretched brother.

You knew better than to try conversation, but still – you did.

“So,” you began, walking slightly closer to Jake, who was still leaning against the back of your sofa, playing the game that had him so suddenly entranced. “How is New York so far?”

He didn’t respond, only continuing to play his game. You waited for him to look up at you with a sort of “oh, yeah, sorry! It’s been alright”, but he never did. His fingers ticked across his screen. You were admittedly curious what game it was that had him so engaged.

Maybe he hadn’t heard you.

The benefit of the doubt was certainly trying hard to save your sanity.

“How’s New York?”

You had to strain to hear his response, it was only a simple, aggravated “mhm” hummed in response. It was an obvious tactic that you remembered using as a teenager. It was that response that every teenager frustratedly used to get their parents (or, in your case, grandparents) off their back.

But how in the hell were you being a bother to him? You stepped closer to him once more, but this time when you did, he glanced up at you and then swerved around the couch, eyes staying on the phone as much as they could. Then, before you could step any closer to him, you turned around the couch, following him.

You were tired of his attitude. You weren’t going to put up with his shit any more today. You understood this was hard for him – all of the change, his broken heart, yada yada yada. But you had made up your mind that you deserved more of a response from this man. You were getting ready to rip him a new one when –

“It’ll be here in 30 minutes!” Josh’s joyful tone died a bit at the end of the statement.

As soon as he was fully back in the living room, you could tell that he was absolutely sensing the energy reverberating in the room. He was still slipping his phone into the back pocket of his brown corduroy pants as his eyes sprung back and forth between his brother and you.

Josh’s jaw clenched. He was nervous, that much was obvious. You knew the man very well.

So, he did his ‘make it better’ empath thing and clapped his hands together, which brought both sets of eyes to him.

“Whaddya say the three of us watch a movie?”

🌼 🌼 🌼

The food was delivered and completely scarfed down by the three of you.

You had all been very hungry.

But, the best part of eating? It was the fact that the not-talking thing was more natural than it had been before. There were no conversations to cut off or be left out of. . .because, your faces were being stuffed.

Before the food had gotten there, you had gladly taken up Josh’s offer to start a movie. He had chosen The Shining (one of his go-tos). This had also aided in making the social atmosphere (or lack there-of) less awkward.

Things had actually felt peaceful enough for you to lull off right after little Danny saw the two creepy twin girls in the hallway of the haunted hotel.

🌼 🌼 🌼

You felt yourself slowly come to, but as you did, you heard the twins talking in quiet conversation. Their voices were hushed, seemingly to avoid waking you.

And, as wrong as it may have been, you absolutely took that moment as your opportunity to eavesdrop like you’d wanted to earlier.

You kept your eyes closed, working to keep your breathing steady as if you were still in a slumber. You were a sort of pro at the ‘faking being asleep’ thing. For reference, you had been a bookworm for as long as you could remember. So, as a child, you had mastered the skill of feigning sleep when your grandparents would come to check on you at night. Every time, you had actually been reading—never one to put a book down. (To your knowledge, your grandparents had never seemed privy to you being up late reading when you were supposed to be asleep.)

Your head was on Josh’s shoulder, so you had to work especially hard to control your breathing. You knew that if you had even one breath slightly off, he would notice. He was so much like you in being oversensitive to his surroundings.

You let your ears fade into the conversation.

It was Josh’s voice you heard first.

“You need to give this a chance, Jake,” he sighed, and you could feel his body move slightly. It felt like the arm on the other side of his body was moving, probably to scrub a hand over his face. “She was so kind to offer her apartment to you.”

Thank you for pointing that out, Joshua, you thought. I love you.

“I’m not oblivious to that, Josh. Jesus,” Jake sighed, similarly to his twin. But his involved a bit of a grunt, as if he were pouting. “We are just too different.”

“How do you know the two of you are so different?”

It took a minute for Jake to come up with his answer.

“Well, for one: she has fucking twinkle lights,” you could hear a couple of bracelets clang against each other, as if a hand of his was waving above you all. It was true, you had twinkle lights hanging in the living room. You enjoyed the cozy feel they brought with them.

“I have twinkle lights,” Josh’s response sounded slightly offended. Because, yes, he had twinkle lights adorning his apartment as well. To be fair, he, Sam, and Danny had them hanging around their apartment.

“Not the same, Josh.”

The fuck? How is that not the same? This man was insane.

“You two are more alike than you think, Jake. Seriously.”

Alike, Josh?! You’re going to say I’m like him?! Your thoughts were going haywire.

You couldn’t believe he would compare you to his asinine brother.

“I’m uncomfortable here,” Jake sounded slightly hesitant, kind of sad. “I’m already uncomfortable.”

Uncomfortable? That word hit you deep in the chest.

What had you possibly done to make him uncomfortable? You always tried so hard to do the opposite, in every situation life handed you.

Your heart sank. You were a natural helper. You prided yourself on it. You had been complimented on it many times, by several people in your life. You were honestly known for how great you were at helping those around you. This whole ‘allowing Jake to move in with you’ was on brand for you, if you were being honest.

You tried so hard to help people feel secure and ‘okay’ that his discomfort made your stomach churn. The last thing you needed was a roommate who didn’t find you helpful or warm. You were surely already in the midst of an identity crisis.

And, you hadn’t even spent one whole night with this man in your home.

Nothing you could do would make him like you, you were sure of it.

At this point, you had tuned them both out. You didn’t feel like getting hurt anymore by Jake and his short, spiteful sentences.

You listened to the metal pull switch ding lightly against the ceiling fan’s light fixture. The fan was old and rickety and you needed a new one.

These mindless thoughts saved you from the windy road your mind was creating, thanks to the one and only Jake Kiszka.

And his simple sentences.

🌼 🌼 🌼

The arm you were lying against moved just right and it nudged you awake.

“Oh,” Josh immediately noticed you were awake. He sounded apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to– I wanted you to get some sleep.”

You blinked your eyes open slowly, only looking up to Josh from where you were still leaning. You didn’t want to chance locking eyes with his evil twin.

But you decided to be the mature one and sit up, even if it meant seeing Jake.

Unfortunately, you were going to have to get used to seeing him. You honestly dreaded it. Greatly.

As you sat up, you looked around the room. Jake was nowhere to be found.

Thank God.

“He went to bed,” Josh commented. “He needed sleep.”

You shook your head.

He needs more than sleep, you haughtily thought.

“I think I want to go to bed, too.”

Josh helped you shut off the lights in the apartment. You blew out the candle you’d lit earlier. You watched as the black smoke rose from the candle.

It was one of the candle scents that you and your sister had always lit to make the apartment feel like a home to all.

Your stomach flipped in circles. You wanted to be sick. All you had worked to do was make your apartment welcoming, friendly, cozy, safe. And apparently all you’d achieved so far was making your new housemate feel uncomfortable.

You couldn’t watch the smoke anymore, feeling tears well in your eyes. You swallowed down any other tears that you felt approaching in your throat. It was stupid to cry over an asshole like Jake.

His words didn’t matter.

You scooped up Stevie, who had been sweeping her soft little body against your shins. She knew you needed her.

You felt the tears well again.

You faced away from Josh, not wanting him to see your watery eyes. You walked to your bedroom, not even looking in the direction of the apartment’s other bedroom.

You knew he was following you to your bedroom because you knew Josh. He would do his best to see to it that you were doing better before he left you.

You knew he could sense something was wrong with you. He knew you so well that you knew it had been obvious to him all night. And now, you knew you were being uncharacteristically quiet.

As soon as the door shut behind him, you tucked yourself under the soft duvet on your bed. You lifted the covers up to your chin and laid your head down on your pillow. You knew you probably looked absolutely pathetic.

You didn’t care.

He sat on top of the covers next to where you laid. He smoothed a hand over your head and you felt Stevie situate her warm body next to your feet. You had become convinced that it was her favorite spot to lay at night.

He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, and hummed slightly. He scrunched up the left side of his face, his lips squishing together and an eye crinkling as he did so. He seemed to be pondering a thought.

You knew he wouldn’t speak until you were ready to talk, though. Until you made a move to discuss something. Josh was good about that. He gave you your time to feel things. Even when Elsie moved out, as much as it broke his heart to see her leave, he didn’t say anything about it. He had let you have your time to feel without bringing it up.

He had done it many times when big things had happened in your life.

You needed his advice though.

“This may sound naive, Josh, but I expected him to be more like you,” you paused for a second, and chose to look away from him with your next words. “He acted like an arrogant prick all night as I tried to welcome him into my apartment. The apartment I offered for him to stay in during his time of need – don’t forget.”

You knew you were taking some of your snippiness out on Josh when it was absolutely not his fault. But, you couldn’t very well say these things to Jake.

Well, you could. You just hadn’t had the chance yet.

And for some reason, you had suddenly decided that you wanted Jake to see that you were the bigger person in all of this. It should mean nothing for him to see you in a positive light. He was the last person who deserved it. But, killing with kindness could be good revenge.

Josh knew you and knew that your snappy attitude was due to being so hurt already. He knew you felt your feelings to an incredible degree. He got it because he did, too. You knew all of this.

Josh still had a pensive look on his smooth features. His brows were knitted, lips still squished as he thought through what he wanted to say.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he eventually said.

You waited a few beats for him to say more. And when he decided to look straight ahead instead of at you, you got impatient.

“That’s it?” You sat up on your elbows, eyeing your curly-headed friend.

“I–,” he stopped, contemplating. “I just can’t get into it. All I can say is that you’ve gotta give him time.”

You scoffed at him. “Give him time?” You shook your head, looking around your room. The lights were still on, neither of you thinking to turn them off. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Y/N.”

“Joshua.”

He sighed, rubbing his finger and thumb over his forehead. It was obvious he was rubbing to alleviate the stress you were causing him and you instantly felt bad – for another reason entirely. Jake was not his fault. He might have been his twin, but it had become glaringly obvious that they were quite different. And Jake’s assholery was not Josh’s burden to bear.

“I’m sorry, Josh,” you relented some of your anger. You knew Josh was feeling a lot at that moment and you didn’t want to put one more thing on his already-full emotional tray. He was an empath, after all, and today had surely tested his limits.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m not upset with you for feeling the way you’re feeling,” he looked at you again. He put a hand on your comforter-covered thigh, squeezing it slightly. “I just–it’s hard for me when I love you both so much and know the potential of a friendship that could blossom between the two of you if he wasn’t–,” he placed a palm to his forehead. “He’s being rude, yes, but he is going through so much. I know I’ve said it already, but that's all I know to say. I can’t be the one to explain the whole reason why. It’s not my story. It’s his.”

You worded your previous thoughts aloud, “He isn’t your burden to bear and neither am I.”

He grinned slightly, lifting his cheek enough to actually show his dimple. But his eyes were still forlorn. “I appreciate that, love.”

You knew your words hadn’t been the most comforting, but you were emotionally exhausted from the day and you just couldn’t put complete thoughts together anymore. The sleep was finally weighing you down, and you struggled to keep your eyes open in Josh’s direction. There was no talking, just stillness. It was nice. It was much needed for both of you after the night.

Comfortable silence.

He went in and kissed your cheek.

Your relationship with Josh was completely platonic, but you were both people who communicated through touch. And considering how it was Josh’s main love language, it was natural for the two of you to be affectionate with little touches.

“It will all work out,” he said, breaking the silence. “You can trust that he is a good person underneath the hardened exterior.”

You huffed a laugh under your breath, your eyes drooping. Your lids were entirely too heavy. “I trust you, Josh. But, I’ll have to give him time to prove himself,” you felt yourself nod off a bit –just for a second. You blinked your eyes open as wide as you could to look at him, feeling bad that you were losing to sleep. “I’m just not too hopeful he will.”

He hummed, surely in thought. “I’ll let you go to sleep,” he gave your thigh a final squeeze. “Goodnight, lovely friend.”

You were almost completely in slumberland, but could tell when he lifted off the bed. You squinted your eyes, refusing to let sleep evade you. You just wanted to rest. You could see through your half-lidded eyes when he turned off the lights.

You listened as he left through the front door. And you heard him lock the regular lock and deadbolt with his key.

Your last thoughts as you fell asleep were of the last wonderful days alone you’d had in your apartment.

So long, peaceful home.

So long, normality.

_ _ _

notes:

here is the doc that will have pics added to it as the story progresses!

i really hope you enjoyed this first chapter of Covet! Let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future chapters.

taglist: @joshym @gretavanfleetposts

#jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #gvf #greta van fleet fic #josh kiszka fic #sam kiszka #danny wagner #greta van fleet #jake kiszka smut #jake fic #covet #my fics

290 notes · View notes

piracytheorist · 6 months

Note

I think that Yuri is against the whole marriage thing mostly because the excuse of "i'm married since a year and didn't tell you before and even LIED to you about it, sorry (lol)" that Yor told him.

After all at the beginning, when Yor tells him (lies to him), saying she may see someone, he's happy about it. So it's not the fact that she found someone who bother him but the whole mistery around the marriage and that his sister didn't tell him for a whole year.

It can be pretty suspect for anyone and even more for someone whose the job is to NOT trust people :/

It was not the best start to start to know Loid and appreciate him ^^"

Yeah. As necessary as it was for Loid to have the "we married a year ago, definitely not just for the interview!" excuse, it ended up making the marriage look super suspicious to everyone else.

Now, as far as the fandom is concerned, I think people are too used to stories being poorly written and certain characters being so creepy, that they're not prepared to see the brilliance with which Endo handled Yuri's dynamic. Yes Yuri is a little obsessed with his sister, but it's made understandable due to the circumstances under which they grew up in, and he is willing to accept her getting married. However, that very obsession is there to produce conflict for Loid and Yor, and it's handled with a very delicate balance where it enriches Yuri's personality without making him a creep.

Honestly, I think people misunderstand both his "When I grow up I'm going to marry you" and how he latched onto Yor saying she'd wait up for him. The first one is a thing a lot of little kids tell their parents, older siblings, or any form of caretaker, or even their peers. They know that "marriage" is a form of showing how much you love someone, but they don't know how romantic love works yet, so they connect marriage even with familial or platonic love. So in their minds, telling someone "I want to marry you" just means "I love you very much", and in their age, that can only be familial or platonic love.

About the second, I think Yuri had a moment of ShockTM when he saw Yor about to kiss Loid, not because he felt she was betraying her "promise" to wait up for him, but because reality was very suddenly drilled into him.

It's like when you sit and have a striking realization about real life. Things like "I'm not getting any younger" or "The world is fucked up" or even "That thing that happened to me was actually traumatic". You go by in your life hearing that stuff, and automatically understand them, but you may have a moment of actual realization when you're like oh. Shit. This is Real.

And I think this is what happened with Yuri here. He didn't actually think Yor would marry him, but it was a kind of "dream" that he subconsciously had, probably in the form of "I will always be the one she puts first". So he might have felt secure in that thought, but right then, when he saw Yor almost kiss Loid, that dream/thought was very suddenly pulled from under his feet. He had his "I'm not getting any younger" realization. But because his emotional state is... how it is, instead of taking a moment to self-reflect and just think, he lashed out and tried to protect that safe space he'd built in his mind.

Honestly, he's a very interesting character because he provides conflict while being layered on his own. He's very well written and developed, and it can be very easy for audiences to fall in the trap of calling him a "creep obsessed with his sister" if they don't look a little deeper.

(no spoilers for the manga please 😁)

#ask and ye shall receive #Anonymous #Spy x Family #Yuri Briar

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samwinchestermydude · 17 days

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My Supernatural Journey I guess

I actually did go into spn fully expecting to ship Destiel. I came into SPN after watching Merlin, and I had often seen Merthur (my beloved) and Destiel likened together. I barely knew anything about Sam. I only found out that Sam existed because I saw that he was being shipped with his brother on the Ao3 ships polls last year. I didn't know if Sam was important or not because I hadn't seen much content about him. So I ended up calling him the hippie brother mentally.

The only things I thought I knew about Supernatural was that it had some religious stuff in it, Destiel was canon apparently, there were demons and stuff, and John really hated. My impression on Spn was this horror show that was featured this really tough macho dudes but the show was supposedly kind of gay??

I also followed this one person way back for discussing this one video game. They were an ex-supernatural fan way back but left because they found discourse surrounding destiel to be to exhausting. They also used to be a big Sam fan and shipped wincest. I like found the latter to be like really weird back then but man the tides have turned.

So I turned on the Spn pilot with my mom in the same room one day out of sheer boredom. Back then I was still considering Spn as that tumblr show. And then the rest was history, and I lost countless hours of my life obsessing over the show.

So first of all, I only saw one brief glance at Sam before voting for merthur in the wincest vs merthur poll (I'd have probably voted for wincest now lol) so I didn't really know who he was. To me initially he just looked like the 2nd big, gruff dude with long hair. And then I found out that the sweetest looking boy with the floppiest bangs was that guy, Sam.

Also I thought Dean was the younger brother for some reason before watching the show (Probably because Jackles just doesn't age lol). So I was really surprised to see that the little kid in the opening scene was Dean and that the baby was Sam. Oh and I was totally predicting that John died actually in the opening scene and that something else was pretending to be their father lol.

I think I fell in love with the show right away. There was just something really believable and palpable about the brother's estrangement and relationship from the start and I just wanted to see how it developed. S1 is just filled with great horror episodes, and I started watching around October so it was just perfect timing.

So Things that Ended Up Suprising Me the Most/Other Things

I actually ended up really liking John in s1. JDM was just stellar in his all scenes and brought an emotional and sincere side to John. He's tough for sure but he doesn't hide his feelings about his boys. Like you can see the tears in his eyes when they reunite. Also his speech about how he wants Sam and Dean to have normal lives and how he's tired and so broken up after seeing all his friends being killed by meg never fails to hit hard. Do I think John was a good father. No. But he did care about his boys truly. And while I do understand Fandom's widespread dislike of John it is disheartening to see him reduced to this unfeeling caricature. John's problem wasn't that he felt too little; it was that he felt to much and he never really properly managed it and it ended up hurting the his boys.

I thought Meg and Sam would maybe end up being a thing and was like :(((( (because I just liked the bros being by themselves even though I wasn't a wincest shipper at the time lol) but I was also like go Sam if thats what you want ig? Lmao Idk I just wanted Sam to be happy even back then. Anyways thank god that never happened.

Me falling in love with Sam.

Dean. I always saw a lot about him but never found myself to interested in him as all I saw was Destiel content with him. But I ended up falling in love with his character so hard in Devil's trap. When he begs John not to kill him :(((((((((. I think Devil's trap is one of my favorite episodes for Dean. It's when I started to understand him and his loyalty to his family really touched me.

1x22 was also the episode that convinced me SPN was going to be a insane show. Like what a season finale. I feel so bad for the fans who had to wait to watch s2. I actually jumped up and said it ends like that?! The car scared me so bad.

Around s2 I set my foot in the wincest fandom. Back then I thought you guys were scary but in a good way. But I was also getting really into the codependency at the time so I found myself starting to seek wincest out because well you guys just get it. And then Dean sold his soul for Sam and I looked up wincest fic for the first time with the intent to read fic about wincest. Before it was reading wincest fic despite the wincest and then well all hell blew loose (sorry I just had to).

First wincest fic I read: half the man i used to be by dollylux. I wasn't exactly a wincest shipper then. But I thought it was fucked up and strangely fitting to Sam and Dean's relationship and fucked up lives. It was probably the fic that got me into wincest.

I had a bit of an internal rule I set for myself back then where I could only read Wincest fics that were about them being in a fucked and toxic relationship because I felt bad reading fics about an incest ship. So I guess in my mind it cancelled out because then I thought then I wasn't romanticizing the incest lol. Idgaf now. I read anything about Sam/Dean if it's good.

When You're Not Here by raziella was the 2nd wincest fic I read. I read it because it's pretty much gen but it does have some wincest leanings. It's a really good fic.

I gave up Destiel even before s4. It was around in S3 after seeing Sam slowly go insane that I realized I wanted nothing more than the two brothers together.

I just realized that even if Destiel was canon or not nothing could be as important to Dean than Sam was and vice versa for Sam.

I actually was anxious about s4 because I didn't want the show to change that much and drift from the focus on the brothers.

S4 and s5 were really difficult to go through for me. I thought they were great television but it was too painful. I felt horrible seeing what happened to the brothers and how they drifted apart.

S4 Sam hair was probably my favorite.

#wincest #samdean #supernatural #spn #anti destiel

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woodsfae · 20 days

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Babylon 5 S03E16 War Without End: Part One previous episode - table of contents

From the preview image that Tubi chose for the episode I see that Sinclair's back?? My old friend!! As well as our first glimpse at Minbar outside the Grey Council chambers, I believe! It's beautiful: very sculpted in a sort of sci-fi Rivendell way which fits the Minbari's space elf vibe.

Entil'Zha is being presented with a sacred box, which has waited for over 900 years..in which there is a letter for Jeffrey David Sinclair! Dun dun dun. Prophecy is real, Babylon 5 is a high fantasy as much as it is sci-fi.

Another prophecy, this one of the sci-fi variety: Babylon 5 gets a transmission of Ivanova calling for help, saying "they're killing us."

This show gives me so many fanfic ideas and I haven't looked to see if anyone else has done them yet, because I'm avoiding spoilers. So I really don't go looking for info on B5 or interact with fandom works much. But this episode reminds me that I keep toying with the idea of an AU where Sinclair never leaves at the end of s01 and the whole plot plays out with him. I miss him, he got into my heart so fast and I had no inkling he was leaving the show till well after I was attached.

It's nice to see Sinclair has had Minbari friends in his time running/recruiting/training the Rangers from Minbar.

Partner just asked me what my predictions were for Sinclair and then when I went on a ramble just stared at me and told me to write it down. So here: my prediction of Sinclair's fate. In a separate post, because it's a bit too much of a tangent.

I've paused for long enough for only being six minutes into, so we're going to move on now, but if you wanna hear meta thoughts on what I think might happen with other characters end games, I could ramble about it.

Ivanova: this recording is fake. my analysis is based on logic: I didn't do it, ergo it is fake. Garibaldi, living for some sci-fi shenanigans: what if it's time travel.

They have Garibaldi positioned poorly before a dark path in the backdrop and it looks like he has one, huge pouf of hair sticking out one side of his head, lol.

Sinclair's back on Babylon 5! Zack Allen is in plainclothes, so perhaps all staff have the option? Or Zack wasn't invited to their special senior staff matching uniforms?

Delenn being a drama queen. It's one of the qualities they hire for on the Grey Council.

Lennier: "It must be done or the dream will die, and countless others will die."

o m in o u s

Eight days since the last Vorlon attack, per Marcus.

Sinclair looks so good in Sci-Fi Rivendell clothes. Eeeek, I missed him, I love it.

Oh it's Zak? Zap? Zathras? Yes! Zathras! Wow, I wasn't sre he'd be back, let alone that he'd be in shenanigans with DraalPlanet, OR that DraalPlanet would be doing something with time travel!

And Sheridan! Is also wearing Minbari fashion! Some very snazzy robes over his uniform.

Ivanova's message from the future is so grim. The captain is dead. "They" are coming in all over the place. External cams: Shadows. The Shadows have weapons lock. Explosions. Seems pretty straightforward and I bet it'll play out exactly like that with no twists. :P /hah

As Sheridan is doubtlessly about to find out, it's always going to be a normal evening when you are asked to swear you trust someone with your life before events can commence.

Delenn has a powerpoint presentation about the Shadows. And a battle where the shadows were driven from their home, Zha'Dum. But the Minbari were losing at the time. Until Babylon 4 appeared! Delenn says without Babylon 4, they would have lost the war.

Even while Babylon 4 was in construction, the Shadows attacked to destroy it. And the White Star was there! Delenn says they must go through the temporal rift that Draal is widening, protect B4, steal B4, and send B4 around in time. End Presentation! Everyone agrees with her flawless logic. And because she brought receipts in the form of video archival footage from DraalPlanet's surveillance system: Epsilon 3.

That I didn't see coming, either. But like Garibaldi, I am so on board for the sci-fi hijinks.

Oh, Delenn's plan goes farther! She and Sheridan will take B4 on the entire time travel trip and personally fight in the historical fight against the Shadows. Ten thousand years ago, right??? Damn, Sheridan and Delenn are going to stride through time and strike titanic, decisive blows in a war that felled entire species of sci-fi space gods!! That's so fucking epic.

Ivanova is floating the idea that she was calling for help from an alternate timeline. But Garibaldi thinks it's the timeline they're planning now, where they take B4.

I'm sure that SInclair's quippy references to Sheridan are super funny, but sadly I do not get the references.

Zathras is here again. I...don't get Zathras. He's ehh funny. But extremely plot useful! Sinclair is meeting Zathras for the second time, but for Zathras it's the first time. But Zathras is well-informed, because he's very super honored to meet Sinclair and Sheridan, but also that's on the list of things Draal told him not to mention.

Ahh, this Sinclair has already lived through the destruction of Babylon 5! He's already experiencing the world nonlinearly and is trying to do differently on this loop - damn! Or he's having visions from an alternate timeline but at some point you gotta agreee those are almost the sme thing, structurally, experientially, and thematically.

Time travel requires the use of devices that act as anchors. Zathras is handing them out and they're all being clipped visibly on a belt or sash, thus guaranteeing that someone will lose theirs. Sinclair?

Aww, Sinclair sees Delenn and Sheridan holding hands and smiled. That makes me wistful for the Sinclair/Delenn endgame that exists in my personal, unwritten AU.

Garibaldi is due an arc of making good, upstanding decisions and not doing police brutality so it hits extra hard when he blows up with Babylon 5. Or he makes it two more seasons, idk. I wouldn't mind if they lost a few characters and he was one of them.

Especially not if we could swap him for Talia back. I can't decide if I think she (or her personality that got overwritten) will be back or not.

The White Star has been ugraded with Vorlon skin, so it deflects attacks better, which Sheridan affects to be unimpressed by.

Garibaldi guesses "Hello, old friend," as the password which Sinclair used to lock a goodbye/sorry video Sinclair left for him. Which makes me softer for Garibaldi. That's what I think of when I think of Sinclair, too!

Oooo, Sheridan's time stabilizer got hit and now he's unstuck in time. Space is big. Hope he lands on something with an atmosphere. Delenn can pick him up later, I'm sure.

Sheridan always automatically turns to Delenn for backup, but Sinclair automatically turns to Ivanova, and I love that.

Sheridan just time traveled to the future where Londo is the Emperor of Centaur! And it's "just in time to die."

Are they currently losing a war in the future? Perhaps Centaur is now a holdout in the war for existence against the Shadows in an alternate future and Sheridan will be meant to save the future as well as the past?

So funny how taken aback Delenn is that Sinclair speaks Minbari now. He lived there! Marcus, who was being trained as a Ranger there learned Minbari as what he implied was a necessity. But Delenn is so surprised. Their heart to heart is so sweet. *shipping intensifies*

Back to the future! Sheridan and Londo seems like he's blaming other people for his own support of the Shadows' agenda coming back to bite Londo and Centaur in the ass. "Ohhh if only you'd joined me in collaborating I wouldn't have had to face any consequences!" He'll get everything he ever thought he wanted and learned that being Emperor lost him everything he'd ever cared loved.

That's a pretty good hook and a cliffhanger. And a ton of interesting information was revealed! It's too late for Part Two tonight but I pinky-promise I will watch it tomorrow. I wrote up some predictions after I did a Sinclair one and an other-characters one before I watched...

War Without End: Part Two

#babylon 5 #woodsfae b5 #jeffrey sinclair #john sheridan #delenn #susan ivanova #michael garibaldi #londo mollari #zack allen

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serialadoptersbracket · 1 month

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Round 2, Match 55: Mendoza vs. Soundwave

Submitted kids:

Mendoza: Esteban, Zia and Tao

Soundwave: Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, Ravage, Ratbat, Garboil, Enemy, Wingthing, Beastbox, Squalktalk, Glit, Howlback, Slugfest, Overkill, Sundor, and Autoscout but there's bound to be more I'm forgetting.

Propaganda under the cut!

Mendoza:

1. “Mendoza did not exactly *begin* as father material, what with him being a character with a very grey morality at first and both a help to the children and someone they couldn't trust fully, but his entire arc in the first season is him becoming a better person. None of the kids are biologically his but he just went and unofficially adopted all three of them. Their story is inextricably bound up with the show's story.

He first met Esteban when Esteban was a baby and was handed to him in the middle of a storm at sea (then Esteban's father seemingly died in said storm), but because Mendoza was young and interested in gold he let a local (?) church raise the child. He then met Esteban again twelve years later, on the same day he would be kidnapping Zia (for money, because Zia knows how to read quipus that the Spanish hope will tell the way to the Inca's gold) (the show takes place in the early 16th century). So he begins by kidnapping a child and manipulating another to hide in a ship and cross an ocean. They all meet Tao later, and this one is wary of him too at first, but he ends up winning their trust while bettering himself.

He's the only parental figure these kids have: Esteban's father was lost at sea after his mother was killed, Zia spends most of the first season looking for her father only for him to get killed an episode or two after their reunion, and Tao lost both his parents years ago. In the beginning of the show he's completely using them to find a legendary city of gold, and even admits it, but as the story goes he's caring more and more for them and puts himself in mortal danger just to help them, when just running away would have been much more beneficial to him. In later seasons this pattern keeps up and he's not even a grey character anymore, he's just their dad who's scheming and plotting sometimes. With the cities of gold having been revealed to be monetarily worthless he wouldn't have any reason to still accompany them, but he loves them so he stays with them. He's much more of a dad than Esteban's birth father (who miraculously reappears but keeps getting pushed out of the way by the plot), he's teaching them stuff and protecting them and cheering them on and worrying about them and helping them every step of the way. He makes dad jokes. When random people ask if Zia is his daughter he says yes, and he would say the same for Tao (and for Esteban too but he's hung up about Esteban's "real" father being alive and a nice guy).”

2. “He took Esteban on his journey because he needed his medallion, Zia because his commander requested it, and Tao because he was useful. But then he fought so much at their side that he pretty much betrayed the Spanish army and everything else to protect those kids. They didn't like him much at first, but eventually grew to love him in return, especially in later seasons.”

3. “Sly Spaniard looking for some gold in the New World accidentally adopts the three children he more or less uses to find the Mysterious Cities of Gold, but he also cares about them and accidentally starts caring about them so much that by the end of the first season he realises how much he would miss them if they weren't there.”

Soundwave:

1. “This is a dude who stores smaller dudes in his boob and he usually launches them out at high speeds to commit crimes. Fandom loves to headcanon them as a dad and his horde of kids and pets.”

2. “Forgot buzzsaw (yellow bird) lol

Bro really do be adopting”

3. “#he literally is a single mother of like 18 and they all live inside of his chest #and the only time he gets close to showing emotion is when something happens to one of them”

#mysterious cities of gold #les mystérieuses cités d'or #mcog #mendoza #soundwave #transformers #macadam #maccadam #serial adopters bracket #round 2 #tumblr tournament #tumblr polls

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miru667 · 29 days

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How do you manage to stay in a fandom for so long? I'm always mario jumping from fandom to fandom every 3-6 months

Oh, so many reasons. I think I've answered this before but in a much more concise way so idk what happened here when I tried to answer again from scratch but uhhh I wrote a lot lol?? Long ramble time. 😂

I found this fandom at a point in my life when I really emotionally needed it, so I got really attached to it. I stayed because of the friends I've made in it and because of the OCs I got invested in, both mine and other people's, and every so often something invigorated my interest like a new roleplay I got to join or new concept art that got discovered.

I'm also just a really dedicated person (for better or worse) and I still have ideas that I want to get out there creatively. I don't get a lot of free time, and I rarely have energy for hobbies after work so my time passes slowly in the sense that I may still be in the middle of appreciating a thing, meanwhile everyone else has already sped through and processed it and moved on.

So I've gotta be really careful about choosing what to spend my limited time and energy on. It sometimes takes me a whole month to draw a piece of art that I'm proud of. It would be a huge waste of my time to spend so much energy on a fandom that after 3 months I think I might not care about anymore.

And like, if it's going to take me a month to draw 1 thing, what am I going to choose? Fanart of a character from a show that I just finished that I might possibly move on from in 3 months? Or art of my darling Audrey OC that I've been developing for years and whom I know will always bring me joy for the rest of my life? It's not a hard choice! Like I'm sure it's obvious by now but I really love my oc. It's gotten to the point that I look for her in every media I consume. I like characters because they remind me of her, and I like plots because they remind me of her. When I watch a movie and end up loving it, I'm not going to be drawing fanart for that movie, I'm more likely going to be drawing Audrey Grace in some way that's consciously or subconsciously inspired by that movie. I'm sure other people with beloved ocs can relate to that, too.

Back to media consumption: I'm constantly watching new things, shows, movies, letsplays, and I'm able to love them just fine, but I never participate in their fandoms (unless you count reblogging fanart as participation. I personally don't). I just don't feel motivated to and I feel like it's unnecessary. I shouldn't need to prove anything. You can appreciate media without engaging in fandom. In fact, I encourage it, because a lot of what I see in fandoms these days is just stressful, at least to me. And I don't want that stress. I'm much happier as a person when I don't have to read other people's opinions, discourse and drama over some show's themes or ships or whatever. I can just quietly revel in my own enjoyment of the show without being tainted by anything else, and my love for it is not any less valid than the person who's livetweeting their loud emotions while watching the same show and putting out fanart 1 hour after every episode. Bless them, though.

And I guess that's mostly what I do these days with the Onceler fandom, too. Appreciating it more quietly these days, I mean. It's just that...I have a fandom related oc so I draw her. And I have friends here so we do stuff together and we reference fandom inside jokes no matter what activity we're doing. If I encounter art that deeply moves me personally, I reblog it, just like I reblog art for other media on my sideblog. When anyone has a fandom history related question, I'm eager to answer because I don't want the past to be misrepresented or misunderstood. And also, since it's been over a decade, this fandom has long ago become my daily normal. I can do whatever I like but I can't really "leave" this fandom unless I delete all my social media and cut off all my online friends. And delete my memories of the past 12 years of my life as well. Just become a completely different person.

So I guess I can reverse the sentiment: I can't relate to people who hop fandoms every 3 to 6 months. 😭 All the power to you, but that's just not the way I happen to live my life, nor the way I engage with the media I consume! The Once-ler fandom was the one exception. It was special.

But who knows, anything can happen in the future. I'm not so proud that I'm purposely blocking myself from looking at other fandoms or anything. I just go with the flow! Right now I'm slowly making my way through jjba, an omori playthrough, a Plague Tale playthrough, and urusei yatsura season 2 (the new anime). Probably nothing will come out of any it except for a bunch of Audrey inspos, but again, who knows. XD I'm also going to an idkhow concert soon, and I've bought merch from their store already. Does that count as participating in a fandom? Maybe not. But now that I think of it, even if I "join" another fandom, it doesn't necessarily mean I'd leave the onceler fandom either, so maybe it wouldn't matter haha.

Thank you for the ask and thank you to anyone who's read my entire answer!

#miruask #long post #lovestruck enby #i probably sound insane but o well #reference

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twig-tea · 4 months

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2023 BL/GL/QL Round-Up Post

I thought for posterity I'd post a reflection on everything I watched that completed in 2023. For me, that means anything that started in 2022 but the last episode was in 2023 is on this list, but anything that will still be airing after 31 December 2023 11:59 my time (EST) is not on this list, even if the bulk of the show did air in 2023.

A few stats:

110 discrete pieces of content (series/films)

clocking in at est. 600 hours of NEW BL/GL content only

from 9 different countries (Cambodia [1], Philippines [3], Hong Kong [1], Japan [18], Korea [19], Myanmar [1], Taiwan [6], Thailand [56], Vietnam [7])

~50% of the content I watched on this list is from Thailand

~85% of my content was on YouTube [40%], GaGaOoLaLa [23%] and iQIYI [21%].

[Note that this year a lot of older GMMTV shows moved off of YouTube and onto Viki so if you're looking at these stats to decide what to pay for, this won't account for that.]

This doesn't include re-watches or catching up on old shows [e.g. I re-watched Love Sick, My Ride the Series, Semantic Error, ITSAY/IPYTM, Our Dating Sim at least 3 times lol, and anything with a s2 I re-watched s1 to prep, among others, watched Fujoshi Ukkari Gei no Kokuru (2019) for the first time] or non-QL [e.g. Heartstopper s2, Our Flag Means Death s2, Taskmaster s. 15 & 16, Uncanny Counter s2, One Piece s1, etc.] but does include films as well as shows, though I don't count special episodes separately (so Wedding Plan counts once, though I watched both the show and the special).

I hope you all appreciate that with this much content, and with my general brand of being unable to make decisions, I really struggled to narrow down a top 10 list. What follows is the best I could do lol

Top 20 Shows I'd Recommend From This Year:

Moonlight Chicken

Our Dating Sim

Bed Friend

The Eighth Sense

La Pluie

Sing My Crush

Tokyo in April Is...

Wedding Plan

Laws of Attraction

I Cannot Reach You

I Feel You Linger in the Air

What Did You Eat Yesterday S2

I Became the Lead in a BL Drama

If It's With You

Love in Translation

Our Dining Table

My Personal Weatherman

My Beautiful Man: Eternal

My School President

Be My Favorite

+10 I liked but I would only recommend with caveats:

Love Class 2

The New Employee [for the Rainbow Rice Cakes]

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru

Never Let Me Go

Kiseki: Dear to Me

Unintentional Love Story

The Day I Loved You

End of the World with You

A Breeze of Love

Jack O'Frost

Bonus: Not a BL but worth calling out:

One Room Angel

Midnight Museum

Grand Guignol

The Warp Effect

Sadly, of the GLs that aired this year, I wouldn't recommend any of them. The best one was Show Me Love, which was not actually good but had very gorgeous women and a LOT of flirting.

The other huge thing that happened this year was that I stopped lurking! Thanks specifically to @lurkingshan and @bengiyo demanding everyone start talking about La Pluie, because they got me to post my first meta post. And because I started actually talking to people, I started making actual friends, and participated in organizing things like the Be My Favorite clown checkpoint for ep 11. I also disappeared a month because of life, and am still catching up on everything I intended to write this year. But it's been really rewarding finding this corner of tumblr with likeminded people who like good shows, like to think about these shows, and who are interested in talking about them in a way that's insightful and respectful.

It's been a long time since I felt comfortable enough participating actively in a fandom, and I just want to say to everyone I've interacted with this year: Thank you!

Full list under the cut for anyone curious! [Mostly in order it aired but may be slightly off].

Love Bill

Director Who Buys Me Dinner, The

Star Always Follow You, The

Cutie Pie 2 You

Between Us the Series (Hemp Rope)

Reason Why He Fell in Love with Me Special & S2 [international release]

New Employee, The

I Will Hit You/I Will Knock You

Individual Circumstances

609 Bedtime Story

GAPYuri / GAP the series

My School President

HitBiteLove the Series

Never Let Me Go

Moonlight Chicken

History 5: Love in the Future

Oh My God (ToDo) the Series

Warp Effect, The

End of the World, With You

My Blessing the Series

Our Winter (miniseries)

All the Liquors

Once in Memory: Let Me Be Yours

Shoulder to Cry On, A

Jack O'Frost

Our Dating Sim

Midnight Museum

Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend

My Colleague at BL Shop might be My Meant-to-Be

Unintentional Love Story

Chains of Heart

Bed Friend the series

Bad Brother the Series

Stormy Honeymoon

Eighth Sense, the

Bad Brother the Series

Future Series

Tin Tam Jai the series

Crush on You

House of Stars the Series

Happy Merry Ending

Boss and a Babe, A

Pastsenger the Series

Love Mate

Love Syndrome the Series

Promise the Series, The

Day I Loved You, The

Our Dining Table (Bokura no Shokutaku)

Our Skyy 2

My Story the Series

Starstruck

Love Tractor

Naked Dining

Luminous Solution, The

Omai Series / Is My Roommate A Foreigner

Stupid Genius

Step By Step

La Pluie the series

Tie the Not

Sing My Crush / Follow the Wind

Tokyo in April Is .../ Shigatsu no Tokyo wa

Senior Love Me?

Be My Favorite

Show Me Love

Dinosaur Love

Low Frequency

Stay Still

Stay By My Side

Jun & Jun

Wedding Plan the Series

Laws of Attraction, the

Love Class s2

Minato's Laundromat S2

Hidden Agenda

Bon Appetit

Why RU the Series [Korean adaptation]

Be Mine Superstar

Star, The Season 2

Love In Translation

My Beautiful Man: Eternal

My Personal Weatherman

Bump Up Business

Naughty Babe Series

Only Friends

Grand Guignol

Dangerous Romance

If It's With You / Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite Mo

Y Journey: Stay Like a Local

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Venus in the Sky

Kiseki: Dear to Me

I Cannot Reach You

You Are Mine

Breeze of Love / Weather Forecast of Love

Mr. Cinderella 2

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru

One Room Angel

Marry My Dead Body

Lucky My Love the Series

Pure Vanilla: Recipe for Romance

Absolute Zero

Memories, The

My Dear Gangster Oppa

Shadow

What Did You Eat Yesterday? S2

Middleman Love

Beyond the Star

Bake Me Please

You and My Stars

I Became the Lead in a BL Drama

#2023 round-ups #bl meta #multi bl #typed so i can stop thinking it #twig talks #top lists are so hard for me this is the best I could do #if anyone wants to know anything about any of these shows feel free to ask!#best of bl 2023 #long post

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zoobus · 3 months

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I'm not normally a victim of FOMO tactics, nor do I usually let being late to the party stop me from chatting about a piece of media but I'm genuinely sad I didn't get into Obey Me/Nightbringer earlier. It makes me want to write a million essays but the disposable and decentralized nature of gacha kind of makes it feel like you missed your chance to talk about it. I keep coming across years old, unrepliable comments that I want to jump on sooo bad but I can't because the moment is gone and most of these people have likely moved on to less overtly money-hungry games.

Which sucks! because one essay I want to write in particular is how this game is extremely skilled in arousing your desire to create, to actively engage with the characters and worldbuilding, to do fandom shit, and I find this enormously fascinating in itself. The story isn't good but to a certain extent, it's not supposed to be; it functions as an elaborate set of writing/art/rp prompts for its audience to expand on and tailor to their needs.

And I think Obey Me does this well! Amazingly well. I find discussion of narrative structure fascinating, the study of how we define writing as effective, good, or as failures, so I'm drawn to this story full of contradicting lore, one-note characters, and half-finished plots. The story isn't good but that hardly matters because it's not here to be a good story; it's here to throw you into imagination boot camp. It compels you to speculate what it could be, what this character could be, what a slightly different tone would look like, what other people think about it. It feels distinct from the average popular show fandoms where, to an extent, creators congregate simply because that's where the people are. Creating for your own sake is nice and all but validation is usually a stronger force. Usually.

I keep coming across old high effort researched posts about abrahamic religions and occultism from fans setting themselves up for inevitable disappointment. I keep coming across creators leaving notes on their work like "I haven't written a thing in ten years, but,". I keep losing it over heartfelt posts defending x and y canon story decisions with their whole chest, oblivious to the fact that they're misremembering their personal tweaks/headcanons as what happened in the game, like it's seriously so cute when they're so passionate and completely wrong.

I have no idea if fandom actually plays a role in the lucrativeness of a franchise (though as a personal anecdote, I 100% started Obey Me after a single piece of horny Mammon fanart crossed my dash), but it makes more sense to me now, less a projection of wishful/haterful thinking from those with strong opinions about Fandom. Maybe it really does matter.

---

Other essays I missed the boat on:

A Casino Right in Your Home: goddamn is the pre/sequel's gacha obscene

Satan: how to put a mid character into S-tier with one simple trick (make him insane)

Sorry Belphie defenders but you're imagining a better psycho than you were given

Solmare added a shiny new rhythm game but didn't fix the now four year old coloring error on Levi's hands lmfaooo the disrespect is crazy

Remember when you saw the Nightbringer trailer of them glaring in bdsm gear with freshly blackened wings, and you thought "ah, so this takes place right after they fought god and lost. After they went to war to protect their sister only for her to die anyway. After one brother in particular saves someone, but not her, the focal point of the war. They will finally take these to their logical, guilt despair rage pain and grudge filled ends." And you were correct until that very last sentence? lol

Remember when the Ruri-chan event gave you the option to tell Levi you're not cheating on him and then the rest of the event was just making out with his brothers? Then it ends with you kissing him in front of them? Bring that energy back!!!

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #niche effortposts #eh kinda. i spent time on it #anyway it's a game that makes you wanna write and draw things and all things considered I think that's pretty cool =)

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missmaywemeetagain · 2 years

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Pink Scarf - PART 6! (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: SEX. Some of it is on the rougher side. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact) || Word Count: 6858

A/N: This part is HUGE, y'all, a monster! So much is happening. I'm sorry, I just could not for the life of me pair it down or find a good place to break it up, so I'm hoping you're all okay with the ginormous size of this part!

And y'all-- your reactions, reblogs, messages, and comments--I couldn't believe what an amazing response I got for Part 5, like I actually teared up, no lie. I can't tell you how glad I am that you are rooting for our reader and falling in love with/getting hot for EP as much as I am as you read! I hope you like this part, too, cuz I've got some good stuff planned for them coming ahead. (I'm a sucker for angst and tension, if you can't tell!)

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks since now I know how they work lol)! I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues.

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat!

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch.

(Listen, I chose this picture for very specific reasons for this part, so enjoy!)

The secret of it thrills you now, sitting there in the round booth with the other ladies before the show begins. The scarf still smells like Elvis, and each time you catch a whiff, it reminds you of his skin on yours. You smile inwardly at the thought.

You’ve shoved your earlier humiliation down as far as it will go, choosing to not let Jack ruin your night. Nothing really has changed, you convince yourself, things are only confirmed. You didn’t tell the others what happened, instead overcompensating, throwing yourself into having a good time, fueled by anticipation from the pink silk knotted around your neck and what might happen when Elvis sees it.

Finally, the lights go down and the crowd cheers. The Sweet Inspirations were a wonderful opening act, but you all know who you are really here for. The band starts playing and you feel your heart rate increase. The entire room is excited, though a nervousness underlies your own excitement. What if he doesn’t notice? What if it was all an act to placate you? What if he’s changed his mind?

You can’t dwell too much on it because Elvis enters and the room goes wild. He walks on the stage, in all black tonight, looking like a panther stalking the jungle, and you have to keep yourself from jumping out of your seat. Your heart hits your stomach at just how incredible he looks, and even though you can sense an initial nervousness in him the first few songs, he captivates the crowd immediately. He runs through all his old hits before heading into a breathless and charming monologue about how he ended up here, and somehow, he has you just as mesmerized, if not more, than the rest of the ladies in the audience.

He's obviously in good spirits, laughing frequently as he messes around with Charlie and the backup singers, changing the lyrics to some of his old hits to funny or naughty things, making the raucous, well-imbibed midnight audience laugh with him. You don’t think you’ll ever get over how he commands such a large room with ease, making every person feel seen even though they are just a sea of faces.

His voice sounds good, though maybe a bit tired with it being the second show of the night. He doesn’t let it affect his performance one bit, however. He is as energetic as ever and you become increasingly distracted by the way his body moves up there, thrusting in time with the drums, your mind unable to forget how he was doing the same to you less than 48 hours ago.

Heat flushes your body as you desperately squeeze your thighs together, because the more his baritone croons and the more he moves, the more you can picture him, feel him, on top of you. You are struck by how similar his performance seems to those intimate moments, just how turned on he looks playing and singing up there in front of the crowd. That mischievous glint in his eyes, the way his jaw clenches, how his lips pull, and that damn gritty whine in his voice the further up he goes in pitch—it all feels so very seductive. Even his fast, even vibrato has you shifting in your seat. You are thankful for the darkened room because you know your cheeks must be on fire and you can’t blame the unfinished martini sitting in front of you on the table.

You cannot tear your eyes from him, drinking in every inch, so captivated that you barely register when he brings the lights up to kiss his way through the audience during a rendition of Love Me Tender. Part of you feels a little jealous of all the girls, but as Elvis comes closer and closer, your heart speeds up and all you wonder is if he will have a chance to see you through the sea of women surrounding him. You fear he won’t, and prepare yourself for disappointment, reminding yourself that you’ll have access to him after the show anyway.

You need not have worried because he seems to sense you through the crowd, his blue eyes finding yours instantly as he nears the table. It is only for a second, as the barrage around him is intense, but his eyes flit down to the scarf and back up to your face, giving you a small grin and a wink before being consumed by the crowd once again.

You sit on your hands to keep yourself from leaping from your seat and attacking him right there and then. Just a few nights ago, you would’ve been absolutely mortified at this reaction to Elvis, but after everything that’s happened in the last few days, you can’t bring yourself to care, instead letting yourself get swept up by the feelings in your body. The heat flowing through you is intense, and you can’t seem to catch your breath. He saw you, alright, and now all you have to do is wait.

Which is easier said than done because your body is already ridiculously aroused. The more he sings and the more you watch, the more wetness pools between your legs. You have never in your life been aroused in a room full of people, and the more you try not to think about him, the worse it gets because he is right there, looking like that, seducing you without even trying.

Finally, he begins Can’t Help Falling in Love, bringing the show to a close, and Sonny rushes out to usher you all away from the table and get you backstage before it ends. You can’t help but fiddle with the scarf and the TLC necklace beneath it, both of which mark you as Elvis’, as you wait to see him.

You become increasingly aware, however, that you need to keep cool. Everyone is milling about, so any glances or words could be seen or heard easily. However, Jack is paying no attention to you whatsoever, making you somewhat infuriated but not surprised (though if he did pay attention to you in this moment, you might slap him in the face, so it’s probably better this way, you think). Pushing that aside, nervousness, laced with a little excitement at the danger of it, floods through you. It is all forgotten the moment you see Elvis walking towards all of you. You stand as casually as possible, attempting to make conversation with the ladies around you, waiting patiently as he greets everyone backstage.

He is drenched in sweat, blotting himself periodically with the towel around his neck as he slowly makes his way through the group. You feel that magnetic pull towards him as he lightly hugs everyone, a need that has your limbs tingling and forcing yourself to stand still. Then finally he gets to you, pulling you a little tighter, his hand gripping at your waist. You circle your hands to his back, the heat of his exertion rolling off him in waves, and you are overwhelmed by being so close to him again.

“Great show, E,” you manage to say breathlessly as he brings you closer.

He leans in quickly. “Wait for Jerry, baby,” he whispers so quiet in your ear, you almost question that he spoke at all.

Shivers rush through you, both in acknowledgement and anticipation. You squeeze him in a silent reply before he moves along.

Now you just need to figure out how to separate yourself from the pack without it seeming suspicious. But before you can think of something, Jerry is already pulling you to the side, as the others talk excitedly and make their way out. No one even seems to notice you’ve stayed behind.

You and Jerry look at each other for the first time since the incident with Jack earlier in the night. Part of you is suddenly worried about his judgement—it must be quite obvious to him what’s going on between you and Elvis, and he probably thinks it’s only a way for you to get back at Jack. You want to tell him it’s not, at least not just that, but he just looks at you knowingly.

“We have to wait until EP kicks everyone out of his dressing room before I take you back,” Jerry says.

“Jerry, it’s—” you begin.

He throws up a hand. “It’s none of my business, y/n, really. And I’m a vault when it comes to EP’s personal activities, so you don’t got to worry about that.” He pauses before continuing, “And after what happened earlier…well, you do what you gotta do.” He gives you an empathetic look.

“Thanks, Jer,” is all you can think of to say.

He only nods, then looks at his watch.

You can’t bring yourself to make small talk after that. After a few decidedly awkward, silent minutes, he motions you forward, leading you through hallways until you reach the door that says, Dressing Room of Elvis Presley. Your heart flip flops and suddenly you wonder if this is such a good idea after all. Doubt creeps in—how could Elvis, of all people, want to be with you when your own husband doesn’t want you? The thought makes your heart sink, but the part of you that is pissed off reminds you that Jack can go fuck himself.

Jerry listens at the door for a moment, then nods before letting you in. You know he’ll guard the door from anyone looking to enter, so you aren’t worried about that, but it feels a little ominous the way he closes the door behind you with finality.

Alone, at last.

The dressing room is huge, comprised first of this huge waiting room, which is currently empty, save for you. Further in, there is an open door leading to a private dressing area and then a bathroom beyond that. Elvis is not in this area, but the beautiful timbre of his voice, singing a gospel song, echoes from beyond, deeper in. You are drawn to it, slowly walking towards it as if hypnotized. The sound is so lovely it raises the hairs on your arms. Even though you just sat through 90 minutes of him singing, this is different, much more private, and it almost feels like you are eavesdropping. Suddenly, you feel an overwhelming swell of emotion for this man.

Pushing it down and clearing your throat, you alert him to your presence. “Elvis?”

The singing stops abruptly. “Come on back, honey!” he calls.

Nerves flutter through you as you walk back into the private dressing area. He’s not in here, so you place your clutch on a coffee table and straighten your dress, checking your reflection briefly in the vanity mirror before hesitantly making your way back to the bathroom.

You pause in the doorway, suddenly feeling rather bashful. Elvis is wearing a lush purple robe, his back to you, but sensing your presence, he turns immediately to face you.

He takes your breath away, even now. He’s positively glowing, most likely from the high of his performance, his hair still wet with sweat and plastered on his forehead. A grin spreads over his handsome features.

“You changed your mind,” he states.

“I did.”

“Hmm,” he muses. Then he fully takes you in, his eyes slowly roaming down your body in such a way that makes you flush from head to toe, your breath heaving in your chest. He glides towards you, cat-like in his smoothness, stopping right in front of you.

“That’s quite the little dress,” he says looking down at you, voice low, as his fingers toy with the hem. “D’you wear it just for me?” You can feel his fingertips lightly brush the bare skin of your thigh in the process and you can’t breathe. All you can do is nod.

The tension is thick, heavy, and when you look up at him (because how can you not), you feel like you are being sucked into a whirlpool. Those oceanic eyes take you in so quickly, you barely remember your nerves from a moment ago, the events that pushed you here, or even your own name.

His other hand plays with the scarf at your neck. “I’m glad you’re here,” he breathes, pulling you up into a kiss, his lips brushing yours softly.

You melt into him with a small sigh, your palms on his chest, clutching the front of his robe. God, you’re a goner and you’ve barely been here a minute. He smiles against your mouth, pleased by your response.

“I gotta shower, baby, then I’m all yours,” he says, kissing you lightly on the cheek. You must look disappointed because he chuckles, “Trust me, baby, ya’ want me to shower,” then he playfully swats you on the ass.

“Elvis!” you yip and squirm a little, as the arousal that’s been building in you the past two hours is nearly unbearable now that you are this close to him, now that you can smell and touch him. You are sure he knows this by the sly grin he gives you as he spins around and turns on the water in the tiny shower. When he strips off his robe, you gawk for a moment and then nearly follow him in the shower, and probably would have, too, except it barely held his tall frame, much less a second person. Though you soon have quite the view through the glass door as he lathers his body with soap, and suddenly, being out here isn’t so bad.

“You’re awful quiet, y/n,” he says, eyes closed, as the water streams over his head, then down his face and lean body. You bite your lip and lean back on the counter, watching as the rivulets cascade down his tan, perfect frame. You can’t help but rub your thighs together, desperate for friction.

“I’m enjoying the show,” you say. It comes out sultry, so much so that Elvis turns to look at you over the top of the door, wiping the water out of his eyes. He then looks down, realizing the door is glass, and laughs that beautiful laugh of his.

“You dirty, peepin’ Tom! Here I thought you were a nice girl,” he tsks.

“Oh, no. I can be quite naughty,” you reply, openly staring at his wet, naked form. The moment it’s out of your mouth, you can’t believe you said it, and based on the way his eyes widen, he can’t either. You don’t know what’s gotten into you.

Yes, you do.

Immediately, your cheeks are on fire, but then his eyes shift from surprise to lust and that warmth, that coil in your lower belly begins tightening in earnest.

“Pull your dress up for me, baby,” he says.

“What?”

“You heard me. Lean back and pull that sexy little dress up your thighs,” he commands. His voice is serious and deep, his eyes darkening. He’s never talked to you like this, but it sends a warm thrill right down your center, pooling at your core.

You can’t help but do what he asks and start to shimmy your dress up until your panties are almost showing.

“Further,” he demands, watching you carefully as you obey, your lacy, black underwear now on full display. Your heart thrums with anticipation in your chest.

“Hmm,” he tuts approvingly. “Scooch back on the counter and lean against the mirror.”

You follow his directions, hopping up, the marble countertop cold on the bare backs of your thighs. You watch as he slowly washes his body, taking his sweet time, a sexy quirk of his eyebrow telling you he knows exactly what he’s doing, though you aren’t privy just yet to the inner workings of his mind.

“Put your heels on the counter and spread wide for me,” his baritone vibrates, becoming thick with lust. You do as asked, feeling incredibly exposed. You don’t think your face could get any redder at this point.

“Good girl. Now, reach into those pretty panties and touch yourself,” he orders. At first, you think you must have misheard him, he couldn’t possibly be asking you to…

“Don’t make me tell you again,” he barks, though the mischievous glint in his eyes tells you all need to know.

Normally, you’d feel mortified at this, but he’s bringing out a side of you you’ve never encountered before. Slowly, bashfully, you reach down under the waistband of your panties, discovering quickly that they are already embarrassingly soaked and have been for some time. You find the sensitive bundle of nerves and your eyes flutter closed when you finally have that friction you’ve been aching for.

“Nuh uh. Look at me,” Elvis commands. Your eyes pop open and you see his attention is fixed on you, gaze dark and wanting, his body rigid and still, as you rub circles on your clit. It’s absolutely obscene and maybe the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced.

“Run your fingers down your pussy, then pull them out and show me how wet you are,” he orders, his voice gruff. You do as you are told, running your fingers through your folds and pulling them out of your underwear to show him. They glisten, sticky with your arousal.

“Tell me why you’re so wet, baby,” he demands with an eagerness that thrills you.

“Apparently, watching you perform for an hour and a half gets me all hot and bothered,” you reply honestly, demurely.

He groans then, turning the shower off. “Take them off. Take off your panties.” It’s still an order, but a little breathless, hurried this time.

You obey, but slowly, making a show of hooking your fingers, pulling them off your hips, and shimmying them down your legs before disposing them on the floor. You place your heels back on the counter, leaving your core completely exposed to him. He’s trying to keep his face serious, neutral to your advances, but you can see him start to crack, his tongue darting out to moisten his lower lip, his eyes ablaze.

“Look at me and pleasure yourself.” The command is heated, fierce, wanting, making your heart beat faster. You make a point of running your fingers through the ample wetness that has gathered between your thighs before setting to task on your clit. You nearly falter under his intense gaze, biting your lip to keep yourself with him.

Beyond the steam-fogged glass, you can make out when Elvis grabs his cock in his hand and starts to lazily tug on it, and that in and of itself sends a surge of heat through you that has you quickening your pace. A quiet, “oh,” escapes your lips and, seeing your arousal at his actions, he makes more of a show of jerking himself off.

“Use your other hand, your fingers, honey,” he utters, fully breathless now. You reach down, doing something you’ve never done to yourself before, and insert a digit into your weeping hole. It slides in effortlessly and you moan, unable to keep your eyes open.

It’s not enough, not nearly enough. You can’t reach the places you need to and only succeed in bringing yourself somewhat close to the edge. Your eyes fly open, and you watch him and his gorgeous, perfect self as he jerks off to you, and it’s not nearly enough.

“I…Elvis…I need you,” you finally whimper and that’s all it takes. He’s out of the shower and his long legs cross the space between you in an instant.

“I got you, baby,” he says, placing his wet body between your open legs before sliding two long fingers straight and deep into your pussy. You cry out loudly at the welcome intrusion, and his jaw clenches as he begins relentlessly thrusting, pumping into you, his other hand furiously working your clit. He’s so completely focused on you, his brow furrowed, and then he leans forward and begins sucking and lapping at your upper lip with his tongue.

Oh, god, that coil inside you, the one that’s been building for hours, is so tight, so ready to explode and he’s only just touched you. His wet tongue expertly mimics the motion of his fingers, and the sensation drives you straight to the edge of the cliff.

The wave of heat is building, building so high as he finds that one spot deep inside you, curving his finger the slightest bit. As soon as he hits it, that’s it for you—your entire body bucks off the counter, pushing him even deeper into your clenching heat. You can barely breathe, clinging to his wet shoulders as if your life depended on it, those stars from a few nights ago making a reappearance behind your closed eyes. Finally, that denied, coiled heat explodes inside you, your entire body shuddering hard, over and over, against him, around his fingers, with a strangled cry of release.

“Oh, yeah, baby. That’s my good girl,” Elvis coos in your ear as he pulls his fingers out of you. You are still flying high, high above, aftershocks of pleasure radiating through you, as he pulls you off the counter and into his still-wet arms.

“Baby, whatchur doin’ to me…need you so damn bad, and I ain’t got it in me to be very gentle ri’ now,” he mutters, accent thick and barely understandable, his lips dragging on your neck. You moan into him, and he flips you around, his hands roaming up and under your sequined dress. Quickly, he walks you forward a few steps until your breasts are against the bathroom wall. He moves in behind you until he’s pressing the length of his wet body into you, trapping you against the wall with his comforting weight, his cock hard against your ass.

Roughly, Elvis uses his knee to open your thighs from behind. You are delirious with him, the feel of him, still reeling and sensitive from your orgasm. Without warning, he thrusts into you from behind so hard you nearly see stars again.

“Ohmigod, Elvis!” you cry out, pushing back against the wall with your palms, raising up in your heels on your tip toes to try and accommodate the surprise of his length.

“Fuck, honey…why you gotta be so tight and wet for me, lil’ mama?” he murmurs into your neck, drunk on you, one arm wrapping around your hips to hold you to him, the other hand next to yours on the wall. True to his word, he is not gentle: he begins to drive into you hard, his grunts and groans heated in your ear, the sound alone swirling down your body and reigniting your core.

Still reeling from your climax, you can’t help the punctuated, high-pitched sighs escaping you with each deep press of his cock into you. You are so full of him that it’s uncomfortable despite your wetness, but with each thrust, you adjust around him, taking all of him the best you can. Desperate for purchase, your fingernails dig and scratch at the plaster as he takes you from behind, fucking you into the wall.

Perhaps noticing your discomfort, Elvis pulls on your hips, walking you both back a bit until you are angled, palms sprawled against the wall, ass fully entrenched in his pelvis. It is somewhat more comfortable, and the grip he has on your hips eases slightly. He slows a bit, intoxicated by consuming you with each inch of his long dick.

“Look, honey,” he pulls your attention over your left shoulder. You see the two of you reflected in the large mirror over the counter, both panting and flushed, joined in the most intimate of ways. It startles you a little, how undeniably sexy it is.

“Goddamn, look atchu, doll, so beautiful and takin’ my cock so good,” Elvis breathes, watching you and watching himself fuck you in the mirror. He is so gorgeous, so completely aroused, that you can’t pull your eyes away. The way his pouty mouth puckers and his eyelids drop so you can see the fan of those long, dark lashes, how his body still drips with water from the shower. The sight of him taking you like this has tingles coursing through you, every nerve on edge and on fire. He begins to thrust harder, and your eyes roll back as he hits that spot, the one only he seems able to hit.

You can’t watch anymore because you are too overstimulated as it is with the feel of him plowing into you, hands digging into your hips. You begin to push back into him, meeting his thrusts now, your arms and legs starting to shake with the effort and pleasure. You don’t even recognize the sounds coming from your throat, a mixture of moans and the whisper of his name over and over, like a mantra.

With his deliciously relentless fucking, you’re not sure how much longer you can hold this position. Your arms are beginning to give way and your legs tremble uncontrollably. “E…E…I..can’t…hold myself…,” you breathe out in between thrusts.

“Sorry, baby,” he says apologetically, “Too excited.” He pulls out of you, brings you upright, and turns you around in his arms. You practically fall into him as he presses your back into the wall, using his naked body to support you. Grateful, you take the moment to look into his eyes, to push his dripping wet hair back off his forehead, brush the water from his cheeks. Your chests heave, mouths so close his breath mingles with yours, the tension still thick between you.

Then his lips are hot on yours, messy and wet and needy and all you can do is give in completely. Your body melts into his, dizzy with him, limbs weak. His strong arms wrap around you, keeping you against him, not letting you fall. He kisses you like you are the last woman on earth, like this is his last day on earth. In this moment, there is nothing else but Elvis and how he is making your body sing. Never in your life have you felt like this—so dangerous, untethered, vulnerable.

Breaking the kiss, his lips ghosting over your face, he whispers, “I need you, y/n.”

God, it’s so raw, so true, and you’re not sure if he means physically or emotionally or both, but in any case, it makes your heart fly.

You look deep into his eyes, so he knows you mean it. “Then take me, Elvis.” It comes out breathless, sensual.

He picks you up by the waist and lays you on the counter, nestling between your thighs, his hands massaging up them, lifting your dress back up to your waist. Brushing his fingers lightly over your clit, your wet heat, he teases you. You arch up in response, hungry for him, any part of him.

He knows it. Grabbing his cock, he slides it up through the wetness of your folds, using the swollen tip to draw circles on your clit. You gasp in response, still so sensitive, and he feels oh, so good.

“You like that, baby?” he purrs.

“Mm hmm,” is all you can manage to get out as you undulate your hips. You can see he’s struggling to be gentle, struggling to hold it together for you, so you give him what he needs, what you both need.

“Fuck me, please,” you mewl, moving his cock to your entrance.

Elvis growls, gritty and deep, as he plunges into you. You are ready for him this time, taking his length more easily in this position. The counter is cold and hard under your back, but you don’t care as you wind your hand between you and rub your clit in time to his unyielding thrusts. He looks wild above you, his raven hair dripping, eyes feral. You’ve never seen him like this before, and it sends shivers through you. They shoot down your spine, your arms, your legs, to your fingers and toes, curling around the unending heat that builds in your lower belly, encasing him within you.

You notice how his eyes dart up to watch himself fuck you in the mirror before looking directly at you, up and down, up and down. He can’t get enough of you, can’t get enough of watching himself get enough of you, and putting two and two together, it comes to you.

He likes to watch.

Interesting. But you don’t have time to dwell on it because then he’s putting his knee onto the counter outside of your leg (damn, all that karate has made him flexible), pulling you forward, and lifting your hips, gaining a whole different kind of leverage. His next thrust is so deep you feel like you are going to fly off the edge of the world. You vaguely hear yourself crying out his name but are so completely consumed, so fucking filled that there is nothing you can process other than his dick inside you and the frantic speed of your fingers trying to keep up.

Your orgasm hits so hard and so fast that you don’t even have time to warn him, your whole body just tenses so tight and then he hits that spot, and everything turns red hot before you shatter. A strangled cry comes from your throat, and you shudder, your walls squeezing his cock hard.

“Oh, jesus fuck, woman!” he groans, unprepared for the way your body flutters around him. “Huh, huh,” he pants, trying to hold on, but he can’t stop what’s coming. You feel your pussy milk him for all he’s worth as his hips stutter into yours with one last deep thrust. His mouth clenches, then goes slack jawed with an eye-rolling moan.

“Oh, god. Goddamn, baby,” he mutters, accent drawling, eyes closed as he stands over you. If you could speak, you’d likely be saying the same thing, but your body is rubber and you are speechless.

Finally, he comes back into himself, opening his eyes dreamily, looking down at you, completely sexed. You can only imagine you look the same, based on how you feel.

He pulls out and helps you to sit up. “So fuckin’ beautiful,” hums almost reverently, caressing your cheek, looking down at you through those impossibly long lashes. Then he bows down and kisses you sweetly.

The sentiment is not lost on you, even in your sexed-out haze. Elvis Presley thinks you of all people are beautiful.

Elvis hands you a washcloth off the counter, then dries himself off, running the towel through his wet hair, making it fluffy. You clean up and put yourself back together, pulling your dress down and straightening the pink scarf at your neck. He throws on his robe, and as you reach for your long-discarded panties, he swoops them up before you can grab them.

“Elvis, give me my underwear, please,” you say, putting your hand out and lifting an eyebrow.

“Nope, they’re mine now, woman,” he grins slyly.

“E, I need them!” you protest with a laugh, reaching for them. “I don’t have that many pairs with me here in Vegas!”

He just shakes his head and holds them up out of your reach. “I’ll buy you a thousand new pairs, baby, but these ones are mine,” he says, then kisses the tip of your nose.

“Seriously?! Elvis, you’re just gonna let me walk around the hotel with no underwear on with you…leaking out of me?” you vehemently whisper the last part. It’s completely scandalous to you.

He nods, “Precisely, baby.” Standing in the doorway, he makes a show of bringing the panties up to his nose and takes a deep, long whiff. The look on his face turns from joking to heated in an instant as he locks eyes with you and puts the panties into the pocket of his robe. “I’m gonna think of it all night long and into tomorrow.”

After what you two just did in the bathroom, you didn’t think you could blush any harder, but you feel your face heat up with the suggestion of what he’s saying. His eyes sparkle at you with that wicked grin on his face and you know you’ve lost this battle.

It doesn’t stop you from huffing a little, though. If he hadn’t just completely wrecked you and if you weren’t flooded with happy hormones, you might fight him on it, but you both know it’s not going to happen.

“Well, fine. I’m gonna to shower then,” you decide. Turning from him, you unzip your dress, let it fall to the floor, and unhook your bra to do the same. This leaves you in only the pink scarf that is still tied around your neck. You know your backside is on full display and you can feel Elvis’ eyes burning on you. Without looking at him, you make a little show of unknotting the scarf, holding it out to the side, and letting it flutter to the ground.

A wolf whistle comes from the doorway. “Remind me to take your undergarments more often, lil’ mama,” he jokes, but there is a passionate nature to it. “And damn if giving you that scarf wasn’t the best decision I ever made.” You just throw him a smile over your shoulder, grab a washcloth, and turn on the shower.

Your body still feels like rubber, and your back is a little sore from the hard counter, so you opt to take it slow, relishing the feel of the hot water on your muscles. You try to make sense of what’s going on in your head, but you just can’t, not yet, brain too foggy from sex. You’ve only had sex with him twice and Elvis is already expanding your horizons quite a bit in that area. It’s like you didn’t truly know what good sex even was before you experienced it with him. The aftermath leaves you a little lightheaded.

In your daze, you don’t even notice that you’ve started singing since it is just something you always do when in the shower (or in the car, or when you’re happy). You’ve always loved to sing, though you were usually shy about it unless you were singing with a group. Music is something that has always been a part of your life, especially growing up. You and your siblings all played various instruments, yours mainly being piano.

Part of what draws you to Elvis as a person is that shared love for music—feeling that passion behind the beat of the drums or the pull of the violin, or how a voice could invoke such pure emotion with interpretation and sound. Music has the power to make people cry or feel joy or take them back in time, which is just such an amazing thing, you think. And Elvis has the gift to draw people in with his charisma, but they stay because of the beauty of his artistry. His is a once-in-a-generation type talent—innate, raw, and self-taught.

Perhaps that is why seeing him live has affected you so much mentally and physically, you wonder. Of course, you’ve heard him sing and play at Graceland many times over the years, which was wonderful in its own right. You’d even played the piano for him a few times and chimed in with the others on some songs. You’d heard his records and seen some of his movies. But something about seeing him live with that full band and orchestra, seeing the excitement in him, hearing the growth in his voice and as a musician, it just does something to you beyond the norm.

As is evident by how you showed up here tonight, ready to eat him alive.

You step out of the shower, singing louder than you realize, lost in thought. Suddenly, a towel appears, wrapping around you out of nowhere, startling you out of your head.

Elvis’ arms circle around you from behind, his head burying in the crook of your neck.

“Now how come I never knew what a beautiful voice you got, sweetheart?” his raspy voice rumbles in your ear.

You are slightly mortified, blood rushing to your cheeks, realizing that Elvis Presley, one of the best vocalists on the planet, was just privy to your private shower-concert. Your embarrassment has you flustering.

“Oh, god, you’re just saying that to be nice,” you murmur, covering your face. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking...”

“Sorry? Oh, there’ll be none of that, honey. Don’t you dare apologize to me for singin’ your lil’ heart out,” he says sternly, turning you around to face him. He puts a finger underneath your chin, tilting it so you have to look him in the eye. “It was lovely. In fact, I think I’ll need to hear it more from now on.”

“Elvis,” you begin, disbelievingly. Your self-conscious heart pounds in your chest, wanting to shirk off everything he’s saying. But looking into those azure blues, you are surprised to see not an ounce of sarcasm or teasing. “That’s very kind of you to say. I’m just really shy about people hearing me sing,” you say quietly.

He nods in understanding, dropping his finger and wrapping his arms around your waist instead. “Y’know, back before I got big, I’d turn off all the lights and turn my back before singin’ or playin’ in front of anyone.” His eyes cloud a little, as if he’s picturing it in his head.

“What? Seriously?” you ask, totally surprised.

“Yep. And to this day, honey, I still gotta have someone push me out on that stage every night, I get so damn scared,” he tells you honestly. You think of all that nervous energy in the first few songs of his shows, and it starts to make sense.

“I’ll tell ya’—and don’t go tellin’ this to no one—opening night, I almost didn’t even make it out there. I was losin’ my mind so damn bad I thought I was gonna die,” he says, dead serious. His eyes look a little wild just talking about it.

You pause. “Well, I guess if you can brave a crowd of thousands, I can live with the embarrassment of having you hear me sing in the shower,” you say gently, “and thank you for sharing that with me.” You smile and, cupping his cheek, pull him down for a soft kiss.

“Mmm…Come on, honey.” He grabs your hand and pulls you back into the larger dressing room with him. There’s a huge, deep couch on the side of the room and he brings you down to sit, curling you up in his lap.

You melt into him, sighing in relief as you continue to recover (from both the sex and your embarrassment), leaning your head against his shoulder. He leans his cheek into the top of your head, just holding you close. You close your eyes and pause, trying to commit this to memory, this feeling, everything about him. Breathing him in, you notice for the first time that even without his signature cologne, he has a distinctly ‘Elvis’ smell—Neutrogena soap plus his own delicious, manly musk. His heart beats strong and steady under your palm. His hand warm and comforting upon your thigh. It’s all Elvis, and right now, he’s all yours.

How strange, you think, that you have known him for so long, and yet feel like you are experiencing him anew every day. You realize that you may have more in common with him than you previously thought.

He breaks the silence, interrupting your nearly meditative state.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come back to me,” he says quietly, his hand gently weaving through your hair.

It’s so honest, so vulnerable, that you are shocked.

It is tempting to see Elvis as a man who never has to worry about someone coming to him because he is The Elvis Presley, especially when he projects the image of the confident, macho, self-assured superstar, sometimes very much buying into his own hype. However, having known him for as long as you have, you know that is mostly bravado and façade. You can see past all that ego to the shy, nervous, sometimes insecure young man you knew was beneath everything else. Someone afraid to disappoint his fans and those around him. Someone who cared deeply for those close to him. Someone who was afraid of being left alone.

You just never assumed he would think such a thing about you.

Fiddling with the stitching on his robe, you try to form a coherent thought. “I almost didn’t,” you reply honestly.

He stills, voice soft. “What changed your mind?”

You are not ready to share that, not yet. “It’s complicated,” you say, then move to look into his eyes, “but I’m here now.”

And the way he looks at you with those shining blue eyes, as if you are the only one that matters, makes you want to stay here in his arms forever. And it causes your heart to break a little because you know you can’t.

You know it’s not that simple, not at all.

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