#lmao I realized last night that I've been waiting for the room to get cold some night as the weather's gotten colder

[dausy]

Well I've been daily updating twitter ofcourse. I kind of at the last moment decided I was going to do a daily doodle thing. I did this years ago, where I drew something every day for a year. I'm not doing a full illustration this time just really simple, essentially a couple lines and thats it. Just to help the creative juices flowing. I probably wont stick it out for an entire year but I keep getting myself backed up into an artistic corner and I want to back back out of it and find a new corner. Instead while I've been doing that, I've also been using it as an excuse to update the status of my current ailment.

so essentially, I had already self-diagnosed myself with the flu but I did go ahead and made an urgent care appointment on Saturday (?). I will say that I normally get a flu shot, every year, I did not get one this year. Next year I will definitely be getting one. I definitely got this from my coworkers and theres was like 3x milder than mine. My immune system was not prepared.

I did not want to physically go to urgent care because I didn't feel safe driving. I was super short of breath and I felt very drunk (because its in my ears! my ears are messed up). Also, didn't want to sit in a waiting room when sitting up sounded like a lot of effort and besides, what is urgent care going to tell me that I dont already know? viruses are treated with rest and fluids and thats it. However, I assumed my boss was going to be on top of me for some sort of a work note even though I'm not a full time employee and I dont feel like I should need one but I had agreed to work on monday and if I called in she'd probably pitch a fit. I discovered, thanks to the local spouse groups, that there was a local mobile urgent care. They came to my house! I schedule an appointment and they came out about an hour later. The most convenient thing ever. They apparently didn't take my insurance so they charged me 179$ out of pocket but I wasn't going to complain. I didn't have to go anywhere. I could track the MA on gps and they sent me his photo so I didn't "have to be scared" lmao. It was all very nice.

I had already tested myself for covid and it was negative. I was tempted to start myself on prednisone (because I practically have an entire pharmacy at home) but HR was a good 115 and adding steroid to that sounded not fun. Normally my HR runs 60s if Im calm and 80s if Im stressed. 115 with steroids on board didn't sound like fun. My 02 was dropping to 93 when I was up and walking around but it would go back up to the high 90s. This poor MA came with a laptop that virutally connected to a PA and they were like "what do you want me to do for you?" like I guess I mainly just wanted to make sure that I was safe to be at home and I have evidence I saw some sort of healthcare person as proof.

I oddly enough didn't have much of a cough until about yesterday. I was feeling short of breath and when I did cough I'd cough gunk up but mainly it just hurt to cough but it wasn't frequent at all. Now I'm coughing alot. The worst part was the hot/cold flashes. I completely drenched the bed in sweat. I've never seen that much water come off of me. I literally touched the valley of my stomach and it was a puddle. I splished my hands in it. I would alternate between uncontrollable sweating to then freezing to death. I thought I'd be over it and I washed all my linens yesterday and then last night, just sweat everywhere. Which was annoying because I felt....nagged..?..guilttripped? to go into work today by my boss. Like I was faking it..I couldnt possibly be sick that long(my coworkers recovered in 2 days)..maybe I was crazy and I wasn't sick?

so I did! I WENT TO WORK TODAY. My coworkers were actually fine. They said they were actually surprised they handled things well without me. I'm simultaneously proud of them and really aggravated that I went in. Because I really did feel terrible. I realized real fast how weak I was and my brain was not functioning. I even gave myself the easiest roll I could where I was off in a corner away from people and I was struggling. I was struggling to walk and I was struggling to stand. My partner at work let me know how bad I looked too. I apparently looked like a frail old lady. Which was nice.

So I went home. My boss is like "wait where you going?". I guess in her defense she came equipped with a bunch of throat lozenges for me but I didn't have a sore throat. I have no energy and cant breath. So I'm going home. I dont work tomorrow btw.

#healthcareworkers #imsick8( #dailydoodle #artblog

[caramelcal]

do it again

Request: Heya!Is there a possibility for a Alive!Luke x reader fic based on the R5 song ‘Do It Again’? Where he is being kinda weird at school all day and then at the end of the day he just says a simple “I’ll pick you up at 8” (like the song) and leaves the reader hanging. Obviously 8 rolls around and he does all the things in the song ( driving around listening to music- maybe a lil hand on thigh moment- walking on the beach etc) and he ends the night by singing Do It Again to the reader and they end up just being so so so in love and yeah. All fluff. All kisses. All cuddles. Just the high school romance I yearn for but will never get lmao. But it’s just basically like being soft for the reader and the likes.This idea has been in my mind for ages but I just can put it into words and your writing is 11/10 so I thought I’d request it.Thank you lovely 👻🖤

Word Count: 1.2k

a/n: i really don’t like this, but i’ve tried to write this so many ways and i can’t get it right. i’m sorry :(

Masterlist

There you are Standing with all your friends So I wait Till your alone again And the minutes feel Like eternity All these words Buried inside my heart

“Hey babe,” You say, walking up to Luke and wrapping your arms around his waist, kissing his cheek.

“Hi,” He mutters back, looking at you for a split second before turning his attention back towards Alex and Reggie.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, frowning slightly as you look over at the boys. Normally Luke would be so happy to see you, showering you in kisses and showing you affection even in front of his friends, or anyone, actually. Clearly, something was wrong, but he was acting fine with everyone else.

Had you done something? If he was acting this way with only you, clearly it was an issue between the both of you, but you guys had been perfectly fine yesterday when you talked. What had happened since then?

“I need to head to class,” This time, it’s you that’s muttering. When you leave, you don’t say bye, much less kiss Luke like you normally do. If he wasn’t going to show you the affection that he normally does, then you’re not going to keep doing it to him; maybe that was the hint he wanted you to take but regardless, it didn’t matter.

When you walked away, you didn’t even bother to look behind you to where Luke stood, knowing that he probably didn’t even notice that you left.

Every step Feels like the hardest part But the last six feet Are gonna kill me So just take this chance

Your mind was overcome with thoughts and you found it hard to focus, especially when he was in the room. Clearly, you had done something wrong, but you couldn’t think of what.

Luke was avoiding you. That became pretty obvious, but you still couldn’t think of why. He didn’t speak to you in classes like normal, or in the hallways, and it was practically the end of lunch and he hadn’t talked to you yet.

Surrounded by your friends, you were zoned out as they talked, not bothering to add any input and let your mind just whirl with thoughts. Of course, all of them were about Luke. Suddenly, you felt one of your friends nudging you on the arm, your head lifting to look at them, who silently jerked their head, eyes on someone behind you.

Before you can even look behind you, an arm is slung over your shoulder and he whispers in your ear, “Be ready at 8, I’m picking you up.”

“What for?”

He smirks down at you when you ask your question, “Can’t tell you that, just be ready.”

With that, he’s walking away again.

I've got it all planned I'll pick you up at eight And we can drive around

“Where are we going?” You asked, complaining slightly that Luke wouldn’t tell you where you were going. It was darker outside than usual, the sun just starting to set as you looked around the scenery that Luke drove through.

“That’s a secret,” Was his cryptic answer. And personally, it only annoyed you more. You guys hadn’t spoken about the whole fiasco at school today, and you weren’t sure if you should. Maybe you were just overthinking, and you were off, not Luke. Yet, there was just an inkling in the back of your head that something was wrong, and a tiny, yet booming thought that he wanted to break up with you.

Your eyes drift back over to Luke, his eyes set firmly on the road with one hand on the wheel. The other sliding onto your thigh. It comforts you strangely, if he was willing to show you this type of affection then maybe everything was alright.

“I hope you aren’t trying to kidnap me, Patterson,” You comment, your head looking back towards the road.

Luke snorts at your joke, shaking his head lightly as he tried to fight the smile that broke out onto his face. He stopped at the red light, looking over at you with that smile on his face that you found so infectious. You lean over to meet his lips, making him lean lightly forward anticipating your kiss. You lean in to seal the kiss, but stop short, “Will you tell me where we’re going if I kiss you?”

“Possibly.”

There’s a moment of hesitation, where Luke waits for you to make the next move. You lean forward and red your forehead against his, lips barely millimeters away from his, “The lights turned green.”

With that, you pull away, giving Luke no time to seal the gap and instead throw him an innocent smile. His hand grabs your thigh a little tighter as he looks back at the road and starts to drive, muttering under his breath, “You little tease.”

Take you to the beach

It feels like forever before the car finally stops and you guys get out, Luke’s hand clasped around yours as he drags you towards the secret destination.

“The beach?” You ask with a smile, feeling the sand against your shoes as you look at Luke, who squeezed your hand in return and gave you a nod.

The beach is quiet, a lot quieter than it had been the last time you were there: a hot, summer’s day, children running about and building sandcastles and screaming. It’s definitely more calming this time, in fact, it seems to be only just you and Luke. Just how you guys like it.

The sun is beginning to fall, and you realize that you guys caught it just in time to watch the sunset. The waves gently crash against the sand in front of you guys, providing a nice calming sound as you walk along the beach hand-in-hand.

It was nice to be with Luke in moments like this, where you can just enjoy spending time together and laugh. Smiles illuminated your faces as you stared into each other’s eyes, the sky falling behind you, a multitude of colors ranging from dark pinks, reds, and oranges to a dark blue held up in the night sky.

However, you aren’t focused on that. Instead, you’re focused on him. At least the sunset was a nice background for your beach kiss.

And we can head downtown While You Hold My Hand

Now you guys are in the city, running, laughing, just spending time with one another. It’s mostly quiet around the city, but both of your laughs ring loudly through the streets. You jump on Luke’s back, nose tucked into the nape of his neck as you breathe in. Even the smell of his faint aftershave makes you happy. There aren’t a lot of people there, but the people who are watching the two of you, who continued to laugh and carry on like no one else was there. Because no one was. In their world, they were the only people that mattered at that moment, just basking in the pleasure of sweet, innocent, teenage love.

We'll park and lay down on the hood Of my car Listen to the airplanes As we count the stars Tonight I'll Be Your Man And tomorrow we can do it again

Hours have passed, but they’ve been the best hours of your life. Hours you would remember forever. Luke’s car is parked in some field, somewhere you don’t even know but it doesn’t matter, because you feel comfortable with Luke, despite the kidnapping jokes you said earlier.

His arms are wrapped around you, keeping you warm from the cold nip of the night wind. You don’t object to the touch and instead bask in the arms of your boyfriend as you looked up to the stars, pointing.

“Hey! Look at that!” You say with a smile on your face, pointing towards the constellation that you found.

Yet, you don’t hear a reply from Luke. You turn around to look at him and find him already staring at you. Smiling, your eyes look over his face, noticing every minor detail of his face that you adored, that most didn’t even know were there, “What?”

“Nothing,” He whispers back, “I just want you to know that I love you.”

#luke julie and the phantoms #luke patterson x y/n #luke patterson x reader #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms x reader #charlie gillespie #julie and the phantoms luke #luke patterson #charlie gillespie x y/n #jatp #luke jatp #charlie gillespie x reader

[itsclydebitches]

I adore talking about this with you, it's so cool to be able to agree, everything I've read is just excusing yen lmao.

And with "geralt would rather do and say things Yen wants to avoid pissing her off" LIKE YEAHH I guess I annoyed yen with my answers and she teleported Geralt out of the tower thing, and then threatened to do it again like??? Like he pissed her off so she has fuck all care about him, was over water thank god but like girl??? omg and her refusing to tell the wticher bros what she was planning on doing to Uma, like I get that they would be hesistent but I mean it's cause it's cruel and painful and they have that trauma around that. She just expects everyone to do what she asks when she asks no questions. (Lambert's "I'm not geralt" when he and Yen are kinda arguring, bb red flags)

I just assumed she didn't believe him cause if she did whats her excuse for behaving how she is lmao??? Like you believe he has amnesia and you still blame HIM over the person who maniplated him KAY.

And goodddd that fucking scene when Triss and Yen see Ciri in Kaer Morhen is genuinely the worst, Triss and Yen see their sis/daughter (not gonna get into how weird I find it that Triss considers Ciri her sister and Geralt is Ciris father and she still wants to fuck him, uncomfy) for the first time in forever, she's alive and well and while Triss is hugging Ciri, Yen kisses Geralt and Triss throws a glare at her. I hated that scene so damn much, it's stupid and shouldn't have been there. (aso I get emotions and all but Yen kissing Geralt is so bitchy, idk even full of gratitude and emotion I wouldn't kiss the man who just dumped me lol, especially not in front of a situation like Triss)

I'm still mad about the women, I really wanted to like them fuck meeee

YOU GOT TO THE PART. Oh thank god, anon, I've wanted to talk about this since we started these conversations lol

Okay, let's set the scene, shall we? You arrive to find that, with our playthroughs anyway, your ex has barged into your home. I say "barged in" because although we (Geralt) know that Yen's help is necessary and she'll be tagging along, the other witchers living there are given no prior warning and, according to Vesemir, Yen teleported in without so much as a "Hello." She then immediately starts ordering everyone around like her servants, failing to explain the situation beyond there being a curse that they have to help with. No, this isn't negotiable. She (still being an ex) takes your old room for herself, which just happens to be the biggest in the keep, and proceeds to toss a bed out the window. It's only later that Vesemir recalls that Triss used to use it, so prior to that everyone apparently just accepted that Yen was destroying their stuff for no understandable reason. Classic Yen. You go upstairs to find her cursing a blue streak at her failed experiment and when you try to lighten the mood, she snaps at you. If you're of the opinion that Yen's every order must be obeyed, this is when you're supposed to drop the conversation entirely, because she said to. Except, funnily enough, you'd like to know why she's up here being The Worst Guest Ever and destroying your property. She tries to justify this by saying that destroying a bed is better than how she could be dealing with her anger over Triss. Be grateful and all that. Except, it's not really about Triss, is it? The line is "You shagged my friend. For upwards of a year. I don't know what your witcher's code says on the matter, but ordinary folk would consider it obscene, base, vile." The blame is not on the woman who knowingly manipulated Geralt into having sex with her while he was vulnerable, it's on Geralt himself! He is the "obscene, base, vile" person for... daring to have amnesia? And when you point that out - "Yen... told you already. I lost my memory" - she yells that she's "lost [her] patience" and teleports you into a lake! This is, apparently, how she really wants to deal with her anger. Not by destroying beds, but by attacking you for things outside of your control. And I do consider it an attack. Yen is meant to be insanely powerful, she is leveraging her magic as a weapon here, particularly when Geralt has spent the whole game commenting on how much he hates portals. Yen knows this. Not just because he says so in her presence, but because she frequently reads his mind, something else he's expressed discomfort with. She's not just demonstrating her power (controlling) and sending him away when he makes a point she doesn't want to acknowledge (immature), she chooses the one thing she knows makes Geralt uncomfortable, perhaps even scared. Then when you've swum your way back to shore and returned to, despite all this, begin her list of chores, she makes a dry comment about how next time she just might drop you high enough for the fall to be fatal. With the next time implied to be, you know, the next time you disagree with her. The next time you dare to do anything other than agree with her every belief and jump at her every command.

The fandom interpretation of all this: "Lol Geralt getting yeeted is so funny. And their banter is just 😍"

Me:

You mentioned red flags and yeah like that ENTIRE SCENE is a crimson banner for me. I mean, by all means, love the fictional ships that are super messed up (I often do), but it astounds me how many fans honestly think this is just a cute interaction with absolutely no problems attached. Nothing to question here, folks. I've mentioned before, but last I discussed this in depth the asker wanted to know if I'd been an asshole to Yen and... that's it. That's the perspective. Any disagreement with her, any pushback, anything that's not complete, blind obedience is something she will not permit AND something most fans take as a given. If you're not doing what Yen tells you to, you're automatically the asshole, and if you're the asshole, you automatically deserve any punishment she chooses to dish out.

Comic spoilers coming up if you want to skip, but this is made abundantly clear in "Curse of Crows." Yen and Geralt are at their best in the moment below, enjoying one another's company on a nice day. Yen asks if Geralt wants to swim and he says nah, he'd rather watch her. She appears to like that idea and, indeed, swims naked while Geralt admires from the shore.

Actually cute right? I really liked this moment! They're cuddled up together and exchanging smiles. It's a rare moment of peace where I can believe that they truly care for one another, outside of passionate sex and not wanting the other dead. Finally, something beyond that incredibly low bar.

...except Yen starts flirting with a young man who shows up, invites him to travel with them, all while refusing to explain why she's interested in his company. The sudden third wheel is clearly bothering Geralt, but Yen continues to ignore his questioning. The answer she finally gives later that night?

She did it purely to mess with Geralt! It's his "just desserts" for "refusing to swim with [her]." She is "not one to be refused - I thought you needed reminding" by giving him "a flick on the nose." When I say that Yen treats Geralt like a dog I mean she literally treats him like a dog. He's a servant who must jump at her every command and if he doesn't, he'll punished for disobedience. He might not even know why he's being punished for a long stretch because Yen enjoys making him think she's a normal person capable of accepting that he doesn't feel like swimming right now - insert the Kaer Morhen scene where she wants to go have sex upstairs, but Geralt wants to catch up with the brothers he hasn't seen in an age here - only to reveal that actually she's made their formerly nice outing uncomfortable because he needs to be put in his place. All of which is followed by, "So... willing to join me now?" The message is very clear! Geralt had better get his ass in that tub unless he wants to be punished some more. Whether he wants a bath right now or not is inconsequential.

This is also the run where she scares the women Geralt was with, despite them being separated right now. Why? "I could."

Claims that Geralt is allowed to return to his companions (who he actually waves away) only for him to realize she's cast a spell to burn him with the water. Yen loves pretending she's okay with things only to punish Geralt for them later - sometimes with physical punishments. And what would have happened if the women had actually joined him again? Do witchers weather hot water better than the average courtesan? Who knows, but Yen clearly doesn't care who might get hurt.

Just like her time in Skellige and at Kaer Morhen, she refuses to explain what's going on. She just expects people to obey her, so-called loved ones included. Geralt was to get her cider, and arrive before her bath went cold, not question what they're doing on this dangerous hunt. He's a servant.

And my favorite, petty moment: transforming her awful inn food into a lavish meal without offering to do the same for either Geralt or Ciri.

"But, Clyde, that's just the comics. They're not really canon." Nah, questions of canon aside, this is 100% Yen's characterization. She's prideful. Immature. Beyond controlling. And punishes anyone who dares to tell her "No." Fans are always pointing out that she's meant to be horrible, she could have been a villain in another life, like any of that explains why I'm supposed to root for this relationship or enjoy her existence outside of being a complex character. Yen is interesting, but she's interesting in a "I can't wait to see her get her own just desserts" way. Not "Wooo now I get to watch this story ignore her behavior again to push a True Love narrative."

She punished Geralt frequently during their first meeting, she punishes him whenever they get together, and, I think, she punished him during the reunion with Ciri. Given our playthroughs, do we really think that after breaking up with her and all this fury over Triss - an anger so deep she destroyed the bed and attacked Geralt - she's just overcome with such joy that she forgets they're not together anymore and forgets the anger she's been nurturing for years? Yen doesn't forget. She's staring at Ciri during that moment, right where Triss is currently running towards them, and then after a considering look at Geralt pulls him in for that kiss. That was calculated. She did that to make a claim she no longer had. To punish them both: make Triss uncomfortable by playing at the "perfect" family reunion; make Geralt uncomfortable by kissing him when she knows he doesn't feel the same way. But of course, the popular reading is that she just loves him so much she couldn't help herself. Riiight.

It's just all SO BAD. (Including, as you say, the ickiness of having Triss lusting after Geralt and referring to Ciri as "little sis.") I love a lot of the women in Witcher - Cerys is a fave, Ciri, Saskia, Philippa, Keira, etc. - but the two I'm supposedly meant to fall in love with are just the worst lol.

Basically:

Half the fandom: TEAM TRISS 🤬

The other half: TEAM YEN🤬

Me: TEAM REGIS 😭

#witcher #mymetas #long post