#literally fuck this. social media has become a cesspool

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

girl math is not whatever tiktok thinks it is girl math is me getting a 100% on my quantum physics assignment because i know what the fuck i’m doing

#girl math girl dinner i’m just a girl LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP. #‘‘what’s the girl version of the roman empire’’ THE ROMAN EMPIRE. #GIRL IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH EASY. GIRL IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH STUPID. GIRL IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH SIMPLE. #congratulations tiktok you’ve sent the feminism movement back 70 years are you proud of yourself #AND THE WORST PART IS. MOST OF THE PEOPLE DOING THIS SHIT THINK THEYRE PROGRESSIVE #it’s not a silly little joke. where do you think it comes from in the first place. use your critical thinking skills that i know you have. #literally fuck this. social media has become a cesspool #like every tiktok trend has some insidious origin whether intentional or not. every comment section is filled with the most rancid shit ever #the only platform not as horrible is here but even THEN there is so much rampant bigotry if you step slightly outside of your curated bubble #i can only hope to hope that most of the rancidness is fake. that they’re just trolls or bots or smear campaigns. #and i can only hope that people in these tiktok trends just simply don’t know any better and are willing to learn. #mari is irrelevant

[lollytea]

what (human) social media do you think the hexaquad uses/is on. Because personally I think Luz is weird and bi enough that she would use tumblr and completely commit to the goncharov bit

Luz absolutely uses tumblr as her primary socmed and she has an intimate relationship with the nature of its insanity. She's the one the others ask when they stumble across an utterly incomprehensible meme and Luz will be like "Okay so basically the origin of eeby deeby is--"

She has two blogs. One for art and one for reblogs/fandom/shitposting. She used to have a twitter but she deleted it some time during the Thanks to Them montage because she was dealing with too much bullshit to tolerate the cesspool. She has an Instagram that she uses exclusively for posting art.

Oh and ao3. How could I forget ao3?

I feel like Amity is completely uninterested in human social media. Out of all the kids, she's the only one who didn't really find a specific hobby/interest during her time in gravesfield. She's already got a pensta and she likes how it's tailored for witch society. She'd have no interest in Instagram or twitter or shit like that. BUT she would absolutely go apeshit once she discovers the Good Witch Azura fandom in the Human Realm. (Literally NOBODY back home even knew what those books were.) She doesn't understand the memes and shitposts or general culture but Amity would absolutely have a fandom specific tumblr. She mostly just reblogs from Luz. An ao3 too of course <3

Willow used pensta for general teen reasons like selfies and socializing with her friends before she came to Gravesfield but now that she's developed an interest in photography? Oh that girl's account is gonna get such a glo up. She'd have an Instagram too. She actually becomes pretty popular on both accounts. Not ✨️Influencer✨️ status but she's gained quite a following of humans and witches alike.

I like to imagine that she also has a Pinterest. Idk she strikes me as somebody who'd enjoy collecting aesthetic pics and making boards. For the same reason she also has a tumblr that's mostly aesthetic with the occasional feral little reblog like this thrown in

Gus is a tiktok kid!!! Gus is SUCH a tiktok kid!!! I could also see him having a YouTube channel where he posts deranged little vlogs (in this universe Gus13 does not exist or its after it happened and only adds more fuel to the fire.) A twitch too maybe?? I could see him streaming. Basically I just think Gus would be drawn to all the video-focused social media.

I think he'd have a twitter too where he tweets his insane little thoughts and it actually blows up in popularity because people think it's a parody account.

Also....he would read Wikipedia religiously and eventually get banned from making his own edits.

Ok ok ok ok I think it would be so funny if Hunter got his penstagram account back in ASIAS, got so excited about finally having a regular teen experience but after a year or so once he's become well acquainted with pensta culture he's like "Well. This sucks."

So basically

Back when Hunter got a scroll, he followed Willow and that was that. He never followed anyone else. He has never posted anything. He can't even be convinced to follow any more of his friends. Not even Gus. He has notifications on for when Willow posts. He pops in to like them and then he fucks off again. People have forgotten that Hunter even has an account.

But when it comes to human socmed OHHHHH....

I want to say he has a devianart. But I'm not sure because I'm pretty sure that devianart is a husk of its former self. So he probably just has a tumblr. Hunter has not yet learned that you can make seperate blogs for all your different interests so his blog is a cluttered mess of his whole autistic self Cosmic Frontier brainrot, wolves, anime, the occasional embroidery pics that Willow tags him in.

Also he would be on neopets.

BONUS CHARACTERS:

Camila is on Facebook and Instagram. Also after the events of the series she gradually begins to rediscover the Cosmic Frontier message boards she used to frequent back when Manny was still alive. They brought back memories of her grief for the longest time but she's beginning to once again embrace her love for the series. She's even reconnected with some old online friends <3

Vee would have all the Normal Human Teenage Girl Social Media. She mostly uses twitter, Instagram and Pinterest. She also stays active on Facebook just to like her mom's posts.

Mattholomule would use reddit. Don't disagree with me I'm right.

#sorry for giving so many of them tumblrs #theyre gay and autistic what else am i supposed to give them

[blueboobutterfly]

(Edit:I wanted to add that many social media sites and applications also feed into the toxicity, since many don’t censor or punish people for their behavior)

Okay look.

I love Star Wars, it’s diverse and has so much interesting lore & ideas! But gods above do I hate the fans. Don’t get me wrong! There’s many fans who aren’t pieces of literal trash; and are actually polite, nice and decent human beings. But there’s so many awful toxic fans who tend to speak the loudest and cause the most controversy in the Star Wars fandom. They do and say so many toxic things it’s hard to keep track of it all, and they can always find something to be angry at. Whether it’s stuff from the actual series or other fans doing their own thing, they will find a way. Biggest thing is not letting people enjoy shit. Like so what if people like the sequels, or don’t like them? As long as they aren’t being problematic or hurting anyone (physically/emotionally), who care what they like and don’t like!? People have many different views and many different likes and dislikes, not everyone is gonna like the same stuff. And it’s okay! To not like a character or story line is okay, and as long as you are respectful and civil with others, most are open to discussing their differing opinions. But toxic fans can’t let people have that, they gotta fight and scream their better or this is better. Not to mention the harassment and threats they throw at people on a regular basis because someone doesn’t agree. Or how they talk down to some other fans as well because their opinion isn’t the same.(Once again I must reiterate, being a bigot is not a valid reason/opinion to dislike someone, something or a performance.)

Not even getting into the large history of gross bigotry you see in the fandom as well like; racism, homophobia, misogyny, etc. It can be like a fucking cesspool of awful shit. And under that’s there’s a whole lot of other underlying issues too that stem from fans and even creators. From the Ahsoka Tano outfit controversy to the recent Reave issue, that shouldn’t have ever happened and the fact that fans were being so disgusting is horrific, and at the end of the day they reflect the Star Wars community regardless of what people say. They make it into articles, headlines, top rated videos and tweets; everything! And honestly, it’s become embarrassing at times to admit you are apart of the Star Wars community when shit like this is what people hear about it.

Theres still a lot of controversy over many design and story choices over the years, some more problematic than others, but none more than the shipping community. It’s like a dropping out a bucket of chum in the ocean— you just mention shipping and you’re bound to get some toxic fan waiting to tear your ass apart and explain why you’re wrong and their ship is superior, etc. Is there issues in shipping? Yes! And we can talk about that without people literally coming out the wood work to send death threats because someone ships Quinlan with Ventress, or Obi-Wan with Cody. Or anything mostly. Like two consenting adults having a relationship isn’t that big of an issue outright. But that’s all I’m gonna say about shipping here, since it’s a very complicated topic.

Last thing is the need to argue or prove a point. Wether it be about a character, a design choice, or something with the plot — someone’s gotta fight with another person. Proving that their chosen character is superior or how the other persons critiques on said character are invalid because “this is what I think so you are wrong”. And I’ve said before in another post, no one likes to agree to disagree, they gotta prove a point or make the person feel like shit for liking/disliking something just cause.

Tbh people on the internet have gotten way too entitled to come into peoples safe spaces, pages, accounts, sites, etc and just act out. They can’t be polite or nice or civil if they want to talk about a differing opinion, they gotta invade peoples spaces and disrespect them and their opinions/ideas. People are way to entitled to speak, but don’t care about how they do it or who they talk to. Sometimes it’s an adult, sometimes it’s a minor that they shit on, but a lot of people don’t care as long as they get to open their mouth and spew their bull crap. And people often will have rules or tell others they don’t want this type of confrontational stuff in their space, but 85% to 90% don’t care. And obviously the Star Wars fandom isn’t the only one that suffers with this problem, a lot of fandoms do. From Marvel and DC — to animes like DBZ and Fairy Tail. A lot of fandoms have this issues where people don’t respect peoples boundaries, aren’t civil/nice person when talking to others, argue with anyone and everything, and harass/threaten people who disagree or criticize them. It’s an Fucking issue that plaques so many places in so so many fandoms.

#my stuff #my rant #Star Wars #star wars #star wars tcw #star wars prequels #star wars sequel trilogy #star wars fandom #Star Wars fans #toxic Star Wars fans #toxic fans #toxic fandoms #Star Wars fans can be toxic #star wars series #disney star wars #toxic fandom community’s #bigotry #problematic fandoms #not talking about what ifs here #I’m done with so many fandoms it’s not funny #Star Wars being one #there’s a lot of them but yes #I’m tried of this shit

[quakerjoe]

LAST CALL ON FACEBOOK

I’m done. I’ve had it with Facebook, so fuck this shit; I’m out. Here’s the final publication...

THE LAST CUPPA JOE SERVED ON FACEBOOK:  TUESDAY 10 MARCH 2020

Perhaps you’ve noticed that it’s been quiet around here despite all the political excitement. If you’ve guessed “He’s in facebook jail again”, you’d be right. Being put in a childish “time out” because I pissed off someone who came to MY page uninvited is the name of today’s game, and I’m done with it. I already lost the original Quaker Joe page with well over 10,000 followers without an opportunity to say good-bye, so I’m doing so here and now to you all and to share some final thoughts about what I’ve learned about America, its people, and the political process in a collection of simple, straightforward observations. Here it goes.

First, it has become abundantly clear that America simply does NOT want to make this “a more perfect union” as prescribed in the Constitution that everyone claims to hold so dear. My whole life I’ve watched the GOP sink the economy and destroy civil rights and worker & environmental protections while making massive money grabs. While doing so, they’ve enacted shit laws to benefit the rich while screwing “the help”, meaning YOU in general.

This brings me to “Democrats are feckless” and suck-ass at delivering a clear message or any sort of show of strength. While they’re busy trying to clean up the mess left by the GOP every turn of the tide, the GOP points at them and they shout “Look at the mess the Dems are responsible for!” and Dems say nothing. Civility, I guess. It only goes so far before you get the reputation for being wimps. You know, like today.

Democrats are yesterday’s Republicans. They’re scared, angry and afraid of taking chances. Bold leaders like Bernie Sanders want to bring us ALL to a new, all-time high. Democrats are now his #1 enemy, trying to tear an honest man down. “He hasn’t accomplished anything” the same way Jesus didn’t in the N.T. No, I’m not comparing the two, but it’s funny how a “Christian Nation” isn’t rallying behind a Jew who is a former carpenter and is trying to lead a movement to tend to the poor and heal the sick. Fuck, Bernie could walk on water and turn water into wine all while bringing a dead man back to life and the Dems AND GOPers would still shit on him.

Liz Warren. She’s a brand. Granted, her brand is taking a royal shit on the rich and powerful by calling them out on their bullshit, and she used to be a hero to me, but we’ve got to face it- she ignored the call in 2016 when Bernie urged her to run for POTUS. She was either afraid of Clinton or she was playing the “But I’m A Woman” card and secretly wanted to back HRC. Either way, Warren was out for Warren, not a Progressive agenda and clearly wasn’t behind the cause. When Sanders picked up the torch for the Progressive Cause, she fucked him over and backed HRC, all while calling herself a Progressive. Again, she saw HRC as the inevitable victor and ponied up with her, probably hoping for a cabinet position. She’s doing it now, only more cautiously. This round, however, she thought it smart to shit all over Sanders EARLY in the game and when she did it cost her and her campaign tanked. She’s dropped out. So why hasn’t she openly endorsed Sanders, a fellow Progressive? She won’t. She’s waiting to throw in with Biden after the Primaries and we ALL know it. She’s no champion of the Progressive cause. She’s a brand and she’s looking out for her own ass and nothing more. She’s fallen from grace, if she ever truly had some. She WAS GOP before and clearly nothing’s changed much.

Biden. Fuck me, are we seriously considering fronting this next generation “W”? Why not just hand the election to trump now and get it over with. 2016 all over again. He’s already lining up his potential cabinet with Wall St. tycoons, and has OPENLY admitted that he’s going to slash Social Security (even though the Fed. OWES it a fuck-tonne of payback from all the times it has dipped into YOUR paid-in benefits) and Medicaid/Medicare, but do Americans find this a threat? With typical GOP mentality on BOTH sides of the aisle, it’s only a threat when a Dem. wants to do it, but if the GOP tries, well then it’s all good and fine. Biden is a fucking REPUBLICAN. Just because he CLAIMS to be a Dem, it doesn’t make him so. He’s racist, and twats like Kamala backing him already after the whole “I was that little girl” jab in the debates only shows that she’s not for “We the People” but her own ass. Shocker.

I could go through the list of formerly anti-Biden hypocrites who’ve jumped on board to support Biden and shit on Sanders. All the moneylenders are organizing and ganging up on the ONE true delegate trying to save YOU and not the RICH. Again, this is a CLEAR example of how America doesn’t WANT to be saved.

This has taught me that Americans are not only deluded and hypocritical, as a people in general, but that they seem to LOVE being put into position of strife and misery. It’s where they’re the happiest; embracing the stupidity and ignorance instead of trying to find a way to make us ALL safer, healthier, and happier. Americans HATE being happy with the “others” are happy too. Instead of reaching down to help a fellow American up, it’s the “American Way” to punch down and blame the poor and powerless for their own failings while the rich at the top keep pissing and shitting down on them all while making money grabs.

Next, there’s all this infantile bullshit about “Bernie Bros”. Seriously, shut the fuck up. Hypocrisy in action, yet again is what this is. I’ve found in my personal experience that if I call out another Dem on their bullshit, I’m labeled a “BB”. No matter how you try to point out how Pelosi’s asleep at the wheel or Schumer’s a babbling idiot or how Biden’s a declining fuckwit who can’t string words together and that trump will eat him alive on the debates if he’s the nominee, because I back Sanders, I AM THE ONE getting labeled. The media and the fuckwits out there who are tender little snowflakes who can’t handle criticism or having dirt on their picks dug up and called out cry and cry and cry until someone puts an admin in FB jail for days or even weeks or months.

So to them I say- “Fuck ALL y’all!” I’m done here. Cry me a river because I’m sailing off of Facebook and leaving you all with this cesspool of social mania run by a cunt who backs trump. It’s bad enough knowing that the game is rigged when electing who’ll be our nominee in the Dem. party, but it’s fucking stupid trying to fight the battle here on social media when there are thousands of people following who don’t have a problem with my postings, the description WARNS that I cuss here, yet it only takes one or two fucktards to shut down your page. Fuck this bullshit. I’ve got better shit to do, and my posts on other platforms like Tumblr and even Twitter never get me blocked or locked out. Childish as this whole notion of social media is, at least virtually every other platform is infinitely less riddled with whingers, bitchers and cry-babies who can’t take the heat and instead of clicking to go elsewhere they feel the need to fuck up a page. Enough is enough.

So for those of you who’ve even made it this far and still want to follow me, you can find me on Tumblr, a much more grown-up platform, here at https://quakerjoe.tumblr.com/. If you’re into Twitter (yuck) I’m there too for who knows what reason. https://twitter.com/QuakerJoe2020 will get you to me. I hope to see you all at one of those places. It’s been a real adventure and learning experience, but all I’ve learned is that America is a dirty, filthy nation with a dark and sinister past that it refuses to acknowledge and accept, let alone apologize for because admitting that you’re wrong is UNAMERICAN. Trying to do some form of penance is considered weakness, and turning to truth instead of lies and deceits only leads to the revelation that you’re all up to your eyeballs in selfishness, racism, misogyny, all sorts of phobias, and that you’re only happy as a nation in general when you’re literally given the liberty to tear each others throats out legally.

Good-bye, Facebook. I hope you ALL get a chance to get the fuck out and perhaps regain some sanity one day because if there’s one thing that trumplefuckstick did that was good, it was that he took off the covers and the gilded paint and showed us all what Americans REALLY are, it we’re not pretty.

-Quaker Joe

[cadpadawan]

What a time to be alive!

On March 11 2020 the World Health Organization declared that the outbreak of a viral disease, with a name similar to a certain brand of light beer, had reached the level of a global pandemic. In the panic reaction, that ensued the reports about the number of the infected, the mass demand on toilet paper and instant noodles skyrocketed on an intergalactic scale. As I let this sink in, it becomes increasingly clear that not even the best of stand-up comedians could have made this shit up!

A great deal of the recent public narrative has focused on the importance of social distancing, and something as surreal as the correct hand washing technique. It turns out, that an acute and extremely violent diarrhea is not a typical symptom of this disease. So, even in the most unfortunate case, that I would become infected with this novel coronavirus-thingy, it wouldn't be exactly the most rational manouver to stockpile 500 rolls of toilet paper, in preparation for a two-week isolation period. Unless, of course, I happened to have some weird pre-existing medical condition that would force me to poop runny and fluid shit non-stop in this doomsday bunker of mine. So far, I haven't been diagnosed with such a syndrome, not that I know of, anyway.

Of course...

There is always the chance, that the universe had a special treat preserved just for me, for a special occassion, like this:

SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!

As for the counter-measures...I have actually practiced the noble art of social distancing and personal hygiene long before it started trending. You see, I'm not exactly a people's person. I'm more like one of those ”mind your own business and fuck off!”-persons. And coming to think of it... What kind of person does NOT wash hands after taking a shit, anyways?!?

Seriously, though...Now the University of Applied Sciences, where I am currently studying mechanical engineering, has also closed doors. The University administration had the forethought to do so in advance, a week before the Finnish government ordered all schools to go online. The ongoing product development school project is pretty easy to execute online, luckily. So, in this respect, this global panic should not compromise my studies that much. I'm quite self-disciplined, so this sudden change of plans did not exactly freak me out. I think I have the emotional strenght to focus on this school project, despite the fact that it would be much more pleasant to binge on alcoholic beverages and PS4 for the next couple of weeks. On a side note, I've been playing the novelty PS4 game Death Stranding for a few months now. Suddenly, the dystopian atmosphere of the game does not seem that far-fetched. We are turning into something similar to the game's isolated prepper characters. (Or, to be more to-the-point, I doubt there ever was a time when humanity was truly connected – when there was no physical barriers, we built the barriers in our minds, that's for sure...)

While conducting an in-depth online research into the topic of the school project, I also went through the trouble of getting the facts straight about the coronavirus via some quality sources of information. Let's face it: social media does not qualify as such. If I was dumb enough to take the corona-garbage in my Facebook newsfeed seriously, it would mean that this COVID-19 outbreak was either:

1) a punishment from a narcissistic god, on the grounds that humanity is a bunch of ungrateful little shits, wallowing in a cesspool of sin – homosexuality, gender equality and veganism, in particular.

2) a pre-emptive strike in the forth-coming WW3, conducted by a biological weapon that was engineered in some top-secret level-5 security military lab in Wuhan, China.

3) A dick move played on the Jumanji-board, that some douchebag accidentally came across in the estate of his deceased grandmother.

4) A Black Death reconstruction executed by the aliens responsible for this shit show simulation.

So, what the actual fuck is this coronavirus, then?

We are witnessing the triumph of an infectious disease, that is caused by a severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus-2 (SARS-CoV2). The COVID-19 monicker seems to stand for a novel CO-rona-VI-rus D-isease that emerged in 2019.

Coronaviruses are fairly common in the animal kingdom, although, this novel coronavirus seems to be one of a kind, that has not been previously detected. If I asked my internet friends here, they would probably say something along the lines of ”I'm not saying it was aliens...but it was aliens!”

Either that, or Mother Nature just wants to kill us all?

The source of the virus is not yet fully known. The latest findings suggest all kinds of bat-related stuff. So, I guess it would be fairly safe to assume, that the world has now officially gone bat shit crazy? The year 2020 will be forever remembered as the Great Pandemic of toilet paper hoarding. Officially, the common symptoms of COVID-19 include high fever, dry coughing, shortness of breath, fatigue paired with muscle and joint pain. No mention of convulsive diarrhea anywhere. Are the government officials withholding some crucial information, in the best dystopian fashion? I guess it would prove pretty hard to maintain morale, if the public was told that we are going to dive in some deep shit, in the most literal meaning of the expression.

Well, I didn't stock up on emergency supplies.

I'm a student with no budget, for fuck's sake. I live from one government hand-me-down to the next, or as we say in Finnish: ”kädestä suuhun”. It literally means ”from hand to mouth”. I could not possibly afford to stockpile shitload of TP or anything else, for that matter. Not that I even wanted to. I find it extremely hard to believe, that the world is going to run out of toilet paper any time soon...or...if a single drop of bat guano is going to collapse all civilization as we know it, then...maybe all this so-called ”civilization” is not so civilized to begin with... From a bystander's view, this onslaught of basic human stupidity, that this pandemic seems to have released upon us, makes it fairly easy to relate to the idea, that Mother Nature really wants us all dead. Maybe...just maybe...the real virus that is threatening all lifeforms on this blue planet is human, not some small agent that replicates inside the cell of an organism. After millennias of gang-bang-thank-you-Ma’m it's payback time?

Whatever the case, it's peculiar that, at this point, the virus seems to have entered Europe via Italy. Well, it still remains to be confirmed, but...if this actually proves to be the case, it would bear an uncanny resemblance to another historical pandemic from way back – the Black Death, that swepth across Europe in the 14th century. Well, y'know...history on repeat etc...

The Black Death, a.k.a. The Great Bubonic Plague, was the first major outbreak of a pandemic on the European continent. It probably originated somewhere along the Mongol conquest of China, due to a pathogen spillover event. Such an event most likely took place somewhere in the Hubei province in China in late 2019. A reservoir population with a high pathogen prevalence, like maybe some killer bats from outer space, or a secret military lab, came into contact with a novel and unsuspecting host population – the ordinary chinese folks doing some grocery shopping at the local market.

Back in the day, the war-mongering Mongols obviously had no clue about the correct hand washing technique, or cough etiquette. The plague spread like wildfire among the troops. It was caused by a bitchy pathogen, a bacterium called Yersinia Pestis. Eventually, the pathogen traveled down the Silk Road to the seaports of Europe, among the Mongol army. To be precise, the pathogen was actually carried by fleas that black rats were infested with. When the Mongol armies arrived at Europe, things got a bit gruesome. Djanibek Khan was the commander of a massive Crimean tatar force, that sieged the port city of Kaffa in 1348. By conducting a somewhat brutal manouver in biological warfare, Djanibek Khan's troops catapulted infected corpses over the city walls. A few infected Genoese traders managed to escape – and introduced the Black Death onto Italian soil. The rest is history.

Ok, let's assume the internet scholars, religious freaks and conspiracy theorists were right for once. Why does the entry point always have to be Italy?

It's almost as if the history of mankind wanted to suggest, that God had some serious bone to pick with the Italians. What have the Italians done in the past, that seems to have compromised the cosmic balance so seriously?

Luigi, you did not by any chance place a slice of pineapple on the pizza, did you?!?

Ever since the Dark Ages, politically motivated monoteistic religions have always blamed normal people for any kind of disasters. The concept of God's mercy is convenient in such a way, that premature death in the hands of any natural disaster would automatically grant an instant VIP-entrance to the delights of afterlife paradise, for a beliver, whereas for a non-believer it most certainly would mean a severe charcoal-grilled punishment in the never-ending flames of hell. In this respect, these so-called Abrahamic religions have not really changed in the last 4000 years. If history can teach us only one thing, it would be: the vast majority of mankind is actually dumb as shit.

So, what can I do?

Not much, except keep avoiding stupid people, as usual, and keep washing my hands as if I had a severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. Yeah, I'll just keep focus on my studies. Whenever I need a break from the depths of mechanical engineering, I'll just check on the news to see the most recent updates in this global shit show. It's funny, when I read about the history of mankind, I can't help but think, that my ancestors must have been of a special kind of stupid in many ways, indulging in a behaviour that was harmful to themselves in the long term. As I watch the stupidity of mankind unfolding right before my very eyes, I feel the occassional urge to book the next flight to Northern Italy and start licking doorknobs in the local supermarkets, relentlessly. Maybe I could wash the sour taste from my mouth with an ice-cold Corona beer, with a slice of lime in it. The path of glory has been well-defined, like aeons ago. The issue has always been how to bring everyone along for the ride. With the general attitude being ”Me first & The Gimmie Gimmies” (the best band name ever, by the way!), we're heading towards the biggest butt-fuck in the history of humanity. Maybe we'd be better off hoarding lubricant, instead of toilet paper?

[racingtoaredlight]

Sunday Sluttery

Butters came down with an acute case of Don’t Give a Shit About this Crap Palsy, so I’m filling in.  I thought this picture choice was hilarious so lets start with that.

After the jump, I find the first bullet point list of reasons the Roman Empire fell that we can use to apply to modern day America!!

***

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Antagonism between the Senate and the Emperor

Obama, Trump, take your pick, Congress in general has decided throwing a childish tantrum in quicksand is better than actual legislation.  The House is a cesspool and I bet we could make treason cases for 1/3 of ‘em.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Decline in Morals

/logs onto vice.com

I blame alcohol, social media, video games and birth control, personally.  Really, it’s the hippies’ fault, if anything.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Political Corruption and the Praetorian Guard

“The story of Sejanus, who was the commander of the Praetorian Guard during the reign of Tiberius, illustrates the extent of the power of the Praetorians. At one point the Praetorian Guard sold at auction the throne of the world to the highest bidder.”

K Street.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Fast expansion of the Empire

Put wars in Iraq and Afghanistan on a credit card with 20% interest rate.  Makes interest only payments for first 10 years, then just gets a new credit card with a higher limit.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Constant Wars and Heavy Military Spending

see above

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Barbarian Knowledge of Roman Military Tactics

My Humvee got blown up by an Afghan IED that knew my route on the way to vote in the 2016 election that was marred by seeming collusion with Russia on both sides.  Good thing Navy SEAL Erik Prince is on speed dial for every despot in the Middle East.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Failing Economy and High Inflation

Lets talk again in 2022 or so.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Serena Williams Being a Piece of Human Garbage

It’s true, look it up.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Unemployment of the Working Classes

“One of the main causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire was the Unemployment of the Working Classes. Cheap slave labor resulted in the unemployment of the Plebs in Rome who became dependent on hand-outs from the state. The Romans attempted a policy of unrestricted trade but this led to the Plebs being unable to compete with foreign trade. The government were therefore forced to subsidize the working class Romans to make up the differences in prices. This resulted in thousands of Romans choosing just to live on the subsides sacrificing their standard of living with an idle life of ease. The massive divide between the rich Romans and the poor Romans increased still further.“

/sends out soused signal

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - The 'Mob' and the cost of the Gladiatorial Games

/uses taxpayer dollars for giant stadiums for billionaires to use 10 times per year

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Decline in Ethics and Values 

I feel like they just took the definition of the word “morals” and made a second bullet point out of it.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Slave Labor

What the hell, list?  You just mentioned this.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Natural Disasters

Which giant hurricane is going to destroy Myrtle Beach next!?!?

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Christianity

Fuckin’ Christianity has become such a bulwark of the right, that you can’t vote for any politician that gives a shit about finance or the economy without getting on your knees in front of a bloody cross.  Oh you care about the budget and a healthy economy?  Well, enjoy that with a side of hating gays for no reason and some gravy ladled from an oil slick currently destroying the environment.

Christianity.  It is literally the reason that NASA’s budget continually gets fucked despite the fact that it’s a CERTAINTY that we have to find a way to get off this fucking rock if humanity wants to continue existing.  That certainty, that science, is disputed by people like Ted Cruz solely because of religious tradition.

Ted Cruz is the chairman of the Senate Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness, in case you forgot.

Causes for the Fall of the Roman Empire - Barbarian Invasion

Russian meddling, Chinese theft, European economic and military pick-pocketing, illegal immigration, take your pick...it all applies.

***

“The U.S. is a mere pup tent of a civilization. We’ve got two hundred years of stupidity behind us and we think we’re right up there with everyone else who’s been doing it for thousands of years.”

-Frank Zappa

Have a great Sunday everyone.  Enjoy your games.

#sunday #frank zappa #america

[literateape]

Born-Again Gold Star

By Caracal There aren’t a lot of positive connotations to go along with women and bags. Bag lady. Under-eye bags. Saddle bags. But there’s a better kind of BAGS in town, my friends: the Born-Again Gold Star.

Let me back up for a hot second before we go on. Dearest readers, especially my cishet males—where “cishet” is not an ancient Egyptian curse word, but rather “cis” as in “not trans” (who said Chem 101 would never be useful?) and “het” you ought to be able to figure out shortly—do you know yet what a Gold Star Lesbian is?  The term has been popularized in all kinds of social media, so it’s possible that you do. Or maybe you happened across a few episodes of The L Word (just for social research, right?). It’s also possible that it’s never crossed your radar. It hadn’t crossed mine even just a few years ago. But it’s simple: the term just allows women who have never slept with a man to identify themselves as exceptionally gay.

A Gold Star Lesbian has only slept with women, and is often quite proud about it. As she should be. Frankly, I’m thrilled for folks who’ve had a one-way road to figuring out their identity, whether Gold Star Lesbians or Platinum Gays or just plain ol’ hetero folks who bypassed experimentation. God bless your luck and determination; but there're other roads to Rome. I’ve walked both sides of the road, played for both teams, and dipped my little toes deep into both pools. Deep enough that, while I identify as a lesbian, I am just shy of 30 years old and have already been married and divorced—from a man.

And let me further clarify, just to address the first question that always comes up when I tell people I left my husband for a woman, or rather now a bunch of them: No, I am not bisexual and never have been. Again, I’m happy for those who are. You go, Glen Coco. But I’m so far from bisexual that before I’d left my husband, I’d been with (frankly a lot of) men, and I’d never been with a woman. And now that I have been with (a decent few) women, I happily, and without malice, intend on never again being with a man. For me, the grass is tried and true on both sides of the fence, and damn if it ain’t just greener over here.

 So how do I explain more simply what I am, without prattling on for paragraphs as I already have? It’s simple. I’m a big ol’ BAGS. BAGS for days. BAGS for life. I am a Born-Again Gold Star, and pleased as punch about it. Give me a jersey, give me a pin, give me a snapback with some fancy embroidery. I’ll tell just about anyone who asks at this point.

I get it, it’s not a conventional path. Being comfortable talking about it has taken a lot of getting used to. There are more of us than you would think, but we don’t really have any softball jerseys made up yet, and we don’t get a chance to soapbox about flipping sexual identities very often. A full 180. It’s not typically smiled upon nor understood. It doesn’t fit any convenient pre-packaged narrative or label.

You see, I separated from my husband almost three years ago, leaving him suddenly—it must have seemed—for She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. She was (and is) a deep, dark, dirty cesspool of a person. You’d expect that if you heard the rest of the story. I tend to default to the past tense when speaking of her, since I’ve wished her dead so hard for so long that it’s a wonder she’s still standing; but alas, present tense it is. Either way—you win some, you lose some, and sometimes you fall for Voldemort. But regardless of the shitty quality of the person I fell for, she was exactly what I needed to come to terms with the fact that I’d been hiding really, really far back inside of the closet.

How far in the closet? Well, let’s take it back to before the official marital separation, all the way back to when I started sleeping with her (sorry, holy matrimony, but shit happens). I’d been hanging out so far back in that closet that once I’d been with her even just one time, I stepped on through that closet door and into the light, and I never touched a man again. Not even my husband. Quickly, abruptly, that door to the closet was sealed shut right behind me. But it felt so natural that  even once I was well shut of Voldemort’s influence, and found myself single and sex-starved for months, I just busied myself with figuring out how to be a gay person. And my ex-husband is, frankly, very good at doing what men do; I've just become comfortable with the fact that it just isn't for me. Heck, I'd write him a reference. And you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a reference from a lesbian is probably the best one a straight man can get.

Voldemort left my life in utter ruins not long after I left my husband for her. To be frank about it, she wrecked my career, wreaked intentional havoc on my relationships with friends and family, and then finally left me for my best friend arguably out of spite—but even after all that, when my husband wanted me back and offered me the oh-so-seductive stability of heteronormativity—I just never thought of men the same way again. It was all I had always wanted, in a way. I finally had permission from myself to stop giving a fuck about what men wanted from me, and to be able to stop analyzing why I didn’t want the things they did. Everything suddenly made sense. Despite how my life had fallen apart in literally every way, my anxiety problems disappeared almost overnight. About my new identity, I felt obviously confused, but mostly excited. None of the specifics about what had happened to my life made much sense, but the overall outcome sure did.

It turns out to be true that no matter how many times you try on the same sweater hoping it will itch less, it may take falling in love with Voldemort to teach you that maybe it’s time to try on a different fucking sweater. Even if divorce is an unconventional way to come out as a BAGS, I’m really pleased to be out of the closet and wearing the big gay sweater I finally found in there.

#caracal #lgbtq #divorce #coming out

[theliterateape]

Born-Again Gold Star

By Caracal There aren’t a lot of positive connotations to go along with women and bags. Bag lady. Under-eye bags. Saddle bags. But there’s a better kind of BAGS in town, my friends: the Born-Again Gold Star.

Let me back up for a hot second before we go on. Dearest readers, especially my cishet males—where “cishet” is not an ancient Egyptian curse word, but rather “cis” as in “not trans” (who said Chem 101 would never be useful?) and “het” you ought to be able to figure out shortly—do you know yet what a Gold Star Lesbian is?  The term has been popularized in all kinds of social media, so it’s possible that you do. Or maybe you happened across a few episodes of The L Word (just for social research, right?). It’s also possible that it’s never crossed your radar. It hadn’t crossed mine even just a few years ago. But it’s simple: the term just allows women who have never slept with a man to identify themselves as exceptionally gay.

A Gold Star Lesbian has only slept with women, and is often quite proud about it. As she should be. Frankly, I’m thrilled for folks who’ve had a one-way road to figuring out their identity, whether Gold Star Lesbians or Platinum Gays or just plain ol’ hetero folks who bypassed experimentation. God bless your luck and determination; but there're other roads to Rome. I’ve walked both sides of the road, played for both teams, and dipped my little toes deep into both pools. Deep enough that, while I identify as a lesbian, I am just shy of 30 years old and have already been married and divorced—from a man.

And let me further clarify, just to address the first question that always comes up when I tell people I left my husband for a woman, or rather now a bunch of them: No, I am not bisexual and never have been. Again, I’m happy for those who are. You go, Glen Coco. But I’m so far from bisexual that before I’d left my husband, I’d been with (frankly a lot of) men, and I’d never been with a woman. And now that I have been with (a decent few) women, I happily, and without malice, intend on never again being with a man. For me, the grass is tried and true on both sides of the fence, and damn if it ain’t just greener over here.

 So how do I explain more simply what I am, without prattling on for paragraphs as I already have? It’s simple. I’m a big ol’ BAGS. BAGS for days. BAGS for life. I am a Born-Again Gold Star, and pleased as punch about it. Give me a jersey, give me a pin, give me a snapback with some fancy embroidery. I’ll tell just about anyone who asks at this point.

I get it, it’s not a conventional path. Being comfortable talking about it has taken a lot of getting used to. There are more of us than you would think, but we don’t really have any softball jerseys made up yet, and we don’t get a chance to soapbox about flipping sexual identities very often. A full 180. It’s not typically smiled upon nor understood. It doesn’t fit any convenient pre-packaged narrative or label.

You see, I separated from my husband almost three years ago, leaving him suddenly—it must have seemed—for She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. She was (and is) a deep, dark, dirty cesspool of a person. You’d expect that if you heard the rest of the story. I tend to default to the past tense when speaking of her, since I’ve wished her dead so hard for so long that it’s a wonder she’s still standing; but alas, present tense it is. Either way—you win some, you lose some, and sometimes you fall for Voldemort. But regardless of the shitty quality of the person I fell for, she was exactly what I needed to come to terms with the fact that I’d been hiding really, really far back inside of the closet.

How far in the closet? Well, let’s take it back to before the official marital separation, all the way back to when I started sleeping with her (sorry, holy matrimony, but shit happens). I’d been hanging out so far back in that closet that once I’d been with her even just one time, I stepped on through that closet door and into the light, and I never touched a man again. Not even my husband. Quickly, abruptly, that door to the closet was sealed shut right behind me. But it felt so natural that  even once I was well shut of Voldemort’s influence, and found myself single and sex-starved for months, I just busied myself with figuring out how to be a gay person. And my ex-husband is, frankly, very good at doing what men do; I've just become comfortable with the fact that it just isn't for me. Heck, I'd write him a reference. And you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a reference from a lesbian is probably the best one a straight man can get.

Voldemort left my life in utter ruins not long after I left my husband for her. To be frank about it, she wrecked my career, wreaked intentional havoc on my relationships with friends and family, and then finally left me for my best friend arguably out of spite—but even after all that, when my husband wanted me back and offered me the oh-so-seductive stability of heteronormativity—I just never thought of men the same way again. It was all I had always wanted, in a way. I finally had permission from myself to stop giving a fuck about what men wanted from me, and to be able to stop analyzing why I didn’t want the things they did. Everything suddenly made sense. Despite how my life had fallen apart in literally every way, my anxiety problems disappeared almost overnight. About my new identity, I felt obviously confused, but mostly excited. None of the specifics about what had happened to my life made much sense, but the overall outcome sure did.

It turns out to be true that no matter how many times you try on the same sweater hoping it will itch less, it may take falling in love with Voldemort to teach you that maybe it’s time to try on a different fucking sweater. Even if divorce is an unconventional way to come out as a BAGS, I’m really pleased to be out of the closet and wearing the big gay sweater I finally found in there.

#caracal #lgbtq #divorce #coming out