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#literally ask whatever and ill probably answer lol
peakatseven · 9 days ago
PLEASE KEEP OVERSHARING LOL
oh bby dont worry i will
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artistcrack · a month ago
Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!
——————————-
This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)
——————————-
The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:
Lucifer:
-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived
-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable
-Not to mention all the treatment you would require
-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there
-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake
-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair
-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house
-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs
-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year
-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis
-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)
-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break
-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom
-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you
-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you
-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case
-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears
-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you
-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back
-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare
-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha
-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay
-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need
-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol
Mammon:
-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first
-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human
-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”
-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that
-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for
-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?
-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though
-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around
-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN
-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it
-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am
-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions
-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:
-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”
-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh
-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs
-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad
-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”
-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too
-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving
-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad
-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”
-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones
-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often
Levi:
-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom
-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year
-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot
-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often
-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you
-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him
-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”
-“The answer is no Leviathan.”
-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“
-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around
-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all
-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch
-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him
-Usually left out by other people, ignored even
-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself
-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking
-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’
-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)
-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !
-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven
-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans
-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being
-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure
-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol
-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it
-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-
-OK Levi, sit back down
-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything
-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room
-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe
Satan:
-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense
-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)
-He’s a smart boy, alright?
-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you
-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get
-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰
-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way
-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)
-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help
-But in a subtle way...?
-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside
-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here
-He wants to know how your wheelchair works
-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before
-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself
-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like
-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon
-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain
-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish
-But when others purposefully try harming you?
-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage
-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings
-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything
-You’re strong and he knows this
-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you
-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing
Asmo:
-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life
-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way
-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time
-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around
-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual
-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get
-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go
-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously
-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you
-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together
-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”
-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes
-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room
-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day
-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times
-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not
-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life
-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries
-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career
-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)
-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(
Beel:
-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances
-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is
-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius
-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?
-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around
-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(
-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way
-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so
-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best
-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him
-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help
-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’
-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most
-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”
-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound
-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt
-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do
-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough
-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times
-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself
-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation
-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair
-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what
Belphie:
-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak
-It didn’t matter that you had a disability
-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him
-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first
-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs
-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all
-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby
-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer
-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you
-Do not let him push you around
-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls
-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off
-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that
-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole
-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him
-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not
-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer
-But he doesn’t care
-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there
-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD
-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over
-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”
-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”
-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often
-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house
-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌
———————————
Al~
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moon-yeongjun · a month ago
Text
The Girlfriend Test || Moon Princess
Summary: Haru thinks Eomma is testing her and forces Jun to answer questions about himself. Forced bonding ensues. (We did this like middle of February so then i guess, after the awkward family lunch (tm) ) 
@princess-haru-chan
Haru
do you know what your eomma said to me today
Mr. Jun Moon
do i want to
Haru
she said "oh yeong-jun takes a little while to open up about things, doesn't he? He's always been that way." Do you know why she said that?
Mr. Jun Moon
no idea
im sure she didnt blame my abeoji's own emotional withdrawal did she?
ha
joke
Haru
she said that because I don't know anything about you because I think she was testing me secretly!
Mr. Jun Moon
pfft she was not
besides we just started to date
this is when you get to know me or whatever
Haru
she kept asking me questions that I thought were harmless but then she looked at me like she pitied me because I didn't know any of the answers
I think she would be a very good spy
Mr. Jun Moon
she is not testing you!
Haru
I didn't suspect her at all and then she judged me SHE IS
Mr. Jun Moon
also stop talking to my eomma when im not around this wouldnt happen if you just avoided her at all costs
when did this even happen??
Haru
she snuck into the market!
I have to talk to her when I'm at work jun
I can't be ride
rude
this is stressing me out you have to tell me all the things a girlfriend would know
Mr. Jun Moon
a girlfriend wouldnt know anything yet!
there isnt anything to know-- besides you DO know things you know more than anyone else! i have no idea what she would even ask you pah
Haru
what is your favorite meal she said she could teach me to make it for you if I knew what it was BUT I DIDNT I looked stupid
Mr. Jun Moon
agh well that's silly you don't need to learn to make me food
you barely know how to work a stovetop
Haru
she's gonna find out
what's your favorite color what do you like to eat what music do you like
Mr. Jun Moon
YEESH
these are stupid questions!
if she asks about food fine fine naengmyeon
i don't have a favourite colour im not FIVE
the strokes are my favourite band
there?
Haru
I've never listened to them. Should i?
Mr. Jun Moon
if you want?
Haru
what songs
Mr. Jun Moon
you dont have to
Haru
well I want to I feel like a girlfriend would listen to music you like like when she's with you right
Mr. Jun Moon
tiffany didnt do that i dont know
Haru
hmm
give me three songs and I'll listen to them
Mr. Jun Moon
fine
Someday
hard to explain
agh its too hard to pick just one other
just listen to Is This It, it's their best album
Haru
okay I will
and I need to try that food you mentioned
Mr. Jun Moon
i'll make it for you
though i think you've already had it before, you must have
at some lunch
it is the cold noodles? with the beef broth, usually has vegetables
Haru
oh that! Yeah that's delicious. You should still make it for me though so I can say how good yours is
Mr. Jun Moon
cant you just say that anyway
Haru
that would be a good touch
I could but it would be more convincing if I could say WHY
Mr. Jun Moon
fine fine fine
do you...listen to music
Haru
I do
Tae has shown me some of his its sort of angry I like the happier stuff
I like pop
Mr. Jun Moon
ha you will not like the strokes
eomma doesnt like them either you can bond over that
Haru
hey I might
Mr. Jun Moon
i dont think so
Haru
I also like pianos
Mr. Jun Moon
tae inherited half his music from me you know
he always stole my cds the little punk
Haru
aww he looks up to you
Mr. Jun Moon
no he was just trying to be annoying
Haru
I dont think so
Mr. Jun Moon
he did not like me when he was younger
well he did not like me between the ages of 9 and 16
Haru
I also like my 90s station on my phone I forgot to say that
thats all it says it says 90s
Mr. Jun Moon
there is a lot of music in the 90s
Haru
also he probably did like you you might have pushed him away if i could guess im just saying
Mr. Jun Moon
/i/ did not push him away
that was not my fault!
i wasnt even AROUND he just hated me without any real reason
has he talked to you...
does he talk to you about his friends
Haru
sometimes. He talks about nemo a lot
he also says you're bad at feelings but you care about people I said I was bad at feelings too
Mr. Jun Moon
yah dont talk to him about me
Haru
why not :)
Mr. Jun Moon
because now i'm your boyfriend and thats breaking some kind of rule
Haru
is it really?
ugh why are there so many rules
Mr. Jun Moon
no idea! it is one of humanity's downfalls
im sure you have your own rules though eh
Haru
yeah you marry stupid people your parents tell you to marry even if you don't want to get married at all
Mr. Jun Moon
ah well that's basically the same for the most part
maybe not as literal
parents love their children to get married though thats just being a part
*parent
Haru
well it's stupid
Mr. Jun Moon
yes it is but ah well what can you do
Haru
run away forever? Lol
Mr. Jun Moon
maybe if you're a cat princess
Haru
maybe if I go home you can come too and run away for a bit. Do you think you'd make a good cat lol
Mr. Jun Moon
ha no
and besides i am not a cat princess so i cannot run away
i will be staying right here
Haru
well if you change your mind I'll try to take you along for a little vacation one day maybe lol if I can even figure out how to go back
or if I want to
Mr. Jun Moon
i will be much too busy with the store
but thank you, i suppose
Haru
what's your ideal vacation spot if you could vacation?
I dont know a lot about the world here but I could look it uo
Mr. Jun Moon
i would go back home to boseong-gun
Haru
is it nice there
Mr. Jun Moon
it is quiet and boring actually
but very beautiful
Haru
my favorite place back home was the rose garden
it was very big and no one ever really went there so I would sit on a stone and just watch the wind play with the flowers. It was peaceful. I think that's the one thing I actually miss
Mr. Jun Moon
well that does sound nice
there are beautiful places in enchantra like that. maybe that would help
Haru
you think so?
Mr. Jun Moon
no idea but there is a glen there with flowers
who knows
just an idea
Haru
I might do that
maybe you should take walks
Mr. Jun Moon
i have no time for walks 
besides i am not homesick
Haru
you seem like a guy who would like walks
Mr. Jun Moon
i live at home lol
no i would not
Haru
okay but you're stressed out
Mr. Jun Moon
and what would a walk do? i have my methods of relaxing
Haru
like what
Mr. Jun Moon
i play games
Haru
oh like Mario kart tae showed me that
it looks hard
Mr. Jun Moon
maybe at first but then you practice and it is very straight forward
an easy game really
Haru
can you teach me to play?
Mr. Jun Moon
ehh...
its not that ... i think you should have tae or the girls teach you
Haru
why?
Mr. Jun Moon
eomma wouldnt like me teaching you
she doesnt like me playing them that much anyway but if you do it with tae or the girls then thats fine
like family bonding or something
Haru
okay
maybe ill get really good and then beat you
Mr. Jun Moon
very unlikely
Haru
a cat can dream!
Mr. Jun Moon
hah well she certainly can
Haru
im gonna start reading game techniques now while I listen to those songs! Goodnight jun!
Mr. Jun Moon
alright then. good night haru
0 notes
murasaki-murasame · 2 months ago
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Thoughts on Higurashi Gou Ep22
All of this ‘the culprit’s motives are super shallow and they’re just unhealthily obsessive’ discourse is giving me war flashbacks to . . . . basically every other part of the entire When They Cry franchise, lol.
Thoughts under the cut. [Plus spoilers for Umineko]
I feel like at the end of the day we’re all just gonna have to agree to disagree about how we feel about how Ryukishi is handling Satoko as the culprit here, since I don’t really think any amount of social media posts detailing our interpretations of her character are gonna change anyone’s minds, lol. But I’m still gonna give my thoughts on her anyway because it’s fun, even if I’m basically just preaching to the choir.
To be honest, this feels pretty much in line with how Ryukishi already wrote characters like Takano and Beatrice, in terms of them having unhealthy obsessions that lead them to mass-murder. The amount of violence Satoko has caused is arguably worse than either of them, but they’re all pretty awful if you think about the reality of what they all did as villains.
Sorta like with how a lot of the old-school Umineko discourse went, I think people are too focused on the whole idea of Satoko hating studying, and ignoring everything else about her character and her circumstances. Although even then I feel like people are being kinda unfair toward Satoko about how strongly she feels about academics, but maybe I’m just biased because of my own history with schooling and the intense levels of anxiety and self-hatred that can go along with it.
Plus the fact that Satoko already has a long history of sever abandonment issues, and has basically always had HS that amplified her feelings of paranoia and persecution. It’s pretty obvious at this point that she never really got ‘cured’ in the first place, though it’s less important to think about HS as an in-universe fictional disease with it’s own rules, and more important to just think about it as a representation of real-life mental illnesses which aren’t bound by the rules of made-up brain-worm parasites and aliens or whatever.
Also, the Satoko that started all this looping in the first place was one who never dealt with Teppei returning to the village, and thus never went through her whole character arc related to that. The series is kinda ambiguous about how it handles the idea of people’s character development carrying over between loops, but it explains a lot about Satoko’s attitude here if you go with the idea that she never really had to overcome any of her trauma or coping mechanisms in the “good ending timeline”, and this is the consequence of that taken to it’s logical extreme. The idea of her view of the world being skewed by the fact that she only remembers the “good ending timeline” is also kinda lamp-shaded by the part where she hears about Rika’s looping and is like “oh yeah, that’s the month where we had that cool action movie stand-off with the Mountain Dogs :)”. By the time she really got to understand exactly what was going on beyond the specific timeline she had experienced, she was already way over the edge.
I get why people don’t like the idea of Gou ‘tainting’ the VN’s happy ending, but I honestly like the idea that it’s examining the consequences of how Matsuribayashi was such an overly-specific timeline where basically nothing bad happened and everyone just banded together to beat Takano. It kinda glossed over a lot of the personal problems that the main cast had in the rest of the series, and this really goes to show the effects of some of that stuff not getting properly addressed. It also reminds me that Minagoroshi is a timeline that even in the VN, Rika completely lost her memories of, so I can see how even post-Matsuribayashi she might have never let Satoko know about the details of that one timeline where she overcome her abuse.
I also feel like it only really got to this point because of Featherine’s meddling. In the original Matsuribayashi timeline, Satoko just started drifting away from Rika and ended up wandering into the Saiguden and meeting Featherine before anything actually serious happened in that timeline. I think that if she had just been left to her own devices and that timeline had just kept going, Satoko probably would have either found a way to reconnect with Rika, or they would have just slowly drifted apart for good. But then Satoko got given the power to time travel, and only started going off the deep end after going through another five years of identical suffering.
And on that whole note, it reminds me of how in Umineko, Lambda had a whole conversation about the idea of an abused person becoming an abuser themself if they’re given the power to lash out. Which is basically what’s happening here. Satoko is being given the tools to completely detach herself from reality and try as many times as she likes to get what she wants.
Which also reminds me that this episode in particular REALLY lays the Umineko parallels on thick, lol. Particularly the whole ‘Satoko is turning into Lambda’ thing, which feels just about 100% confirmed now. They straight up have Featherine bring up the exact same ‘monkeys using a typewriter’ analogy to explain Rika’s situation that Lambda uses in Umineko to explain Bern’s situation.
I know a lot of people don’t like the increasingly blatant Umineko tie-ins, and that a lot of people still think it might just be misdirection, but considering how much stuff in Gou has been surprisingly straightforward and predictable, I think it’s pretty much exactly what it seems to be.
Though to be more specific, this is probably more about the start of Lambda and Bern’s relationship, and their appearances in Umineko, rather than the very first origins of them as individuals, if that makes sense. Obviously the concept of Bernkastel as an identity has been around since Higurashi itself, and we’ve known for a long time that Lambda was the one who originally gave Takano her blessing of certainty, but we’ve never known the full details of how those two started their relationship, and Featherine’s whole series of name-drops in the last episode makes it seem like Lambda as a meta individual more or less already exists, with Satoko being an iteration of her. So I think they both technically already exist, but this is how the two of them come into contact and start their whole unhealthily obsessive relationship.
I guess it’s still possible that, even if she’s already existed for a long time as a meta individual, she hasn’t actually come up with the name ‘Lambdadelta’ for herself yet, and this might be where she does so. Even with the list of names Featherine referenced, she didn’t technically bring up Lambda’s name directly. So in that sense this might be ‘Lambda’s’ origin story, even if she already exists.
Considering how basically the entire story at this point seems to be acting in service of setting up the whole LambdaBern relationship dynamic no matter what, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that this will end with Satoko and Rika fully embracing their codependency and mutually ascending to the meta plane so they can stay together once and for all. There might still be human versions of them that stay behind in the real world and continue living normal lives, though.
At the very least, it feels like that’s the logical outcome of the whole Chekov’s Sword Fragment plot device that’s been hanging in the background for ages now. I think it’ll just be the in-universe explanation they use to show the mechanics of how exactly that process works. It’ll probably be used to ‘sever’ Satoko and Rika’s meta consciousnesses from their physical bodies and allow them to basically become witches.
Mainly I just can’t really see this having a ‘happy ending’ at this point, aside from the whole idea that maybe the severing process leaves behind ‘normal’ versions of the two of them who stay in Hinamizawa and go back to their normal lives. I dunno if that’d make people happy, but it’d at least be a way for Ryukishi to have his cake and eat it too, lol.
I just don’t think that there’s any real chance of this ending with them just talking to each other and agreeing to put an end to all this, though. For one thing that’d just feel kinda anticlimactic and honestly make Gou’s story feel even MORE pointless, if it just ends with literally the exact same ending as the VN with nothing really being changed. But I also feel like Featherine wouldn’t be willing to just let Satoko ‘give up’ without having one of them definitively win their current game. In general I just feel like Ryukishi should just commit to the story he’s setting up at this point, instead of just backing out at the last minute and circling everything back to the same ending we already had like nothing in Gou ever happened. If we’re gonna have this whole new story to begin with, it should at least have some lasting consequences.
Anyway, I think in the next episode we’re finally going to loop back to the Damashi arcs and see how they played out. At this point I don’t care too much about getting answers to the ground-level mysteries of those arcs, and I doubt the story will spend much time on that, but I’m curious to see how it progresses Satoko’s whole development through these loops, since I think she goes through some changes with her motives and methods over the course of them.
Specifically I think that the actual experience of being physically present in her own set of loops and causing so much pain and suffering started to get to her, and she might have almost given up in her own way during Tataridamashi and wanted to just stay in that arc, but things went south anyway. Maybe, if that’s what happened, Featherine basically let her know that she won’t let her give up, and will force her to keep looping until one of them ‘wins’ no matter what. Either way, I think that arc was a turning point for her. Like how she asked Featherine to arrange things so that Satoko can make sure that she and Rika’s loops are synced up, she probably asked Featherine after that arc to change the rules again so that Rika will start remembering the details of her deaths. At this point it’s pretty obvious that the Hanyuu fragment Rika was talking to earlier in Gou was more or less just Featherine putting on an act and manipulating her, so the scene of Hanyuu giving her the power to remember her deaths was probably just Featherine telling her about the rule change.
And going by how the Nekodamashi arc went immediately afterward, I think that rule change was related to Satoko becoming increasingly desperate to put an end to the loops as soon as possible. And considering how she was willing to spend so much time reviewing Rika’s hundred years of looping just to prepare for this, it’d make sense to me if she becomes desperate because she basically gives up, but realizes that she isn’t actually allowed to give up, so she has to try and make Rika give in as fast as possible. Either way it’s pretty obvious that Satoko’s methods start becoming more violent in that arc, and she basically tries to brute-force Rika into submission, leading up to the loop where she just spawn-camps her and straight up starts screaming at her to just stay in the village while tearing out her guts. It’s still possible that her attitude in that loop was just one big act, but I think that was the result of her being genuinely desperate to just have Rika give up once and for all, and her starting to crack under the pressure of doing all of these things with her own hands across so many loops. 
So now we’ll just have to see how the confrontation between them at the end of Nekodamashi plays out once we get back to it. In the long run I just think it’ll lead to the ending I talked about before, with them using the sword on each other. The exact nuances of how that sorta ending might play out are up in the air, though.
Either way, I think there’s probably enough time to wrap up all that in two more episodes, but there’s still reason to believe that there might be some kind of sequel in the works. I don’t really want to bet on it, though, so I’m just gonna assume that there’s two episodes left and base my theories on that. In which case I think the next episode will go over the Damashi arcs and end with Rika and Satoko’s confrontation at the end of Nekodamashi, and then the final episode will wrap everything up. Considering that they both more or less know exactly what’s going on with each other by that point, there isn’t really that much that needs to be wrapped up. I think that will be the final loop we get, so it’ll all just come down to how their confrontation plays out, and what decision they come to about how to handle each other.
I honestly don’t really know how I think a full sequel would go, if it’s at least one cour long. Assuming that it’s not just a new Umineko anime that more or less continues Rika and Satoko’s arc via Lambda and Bern, but is a straight up ‘Higurashi Gou Season 2′. It just feels like there isn’t really that much that needs to be done to wrap things up, now that everything’s being laid out in the open, and Rika and Satoko are both aware of each other’s looping. They might switch it up so that they both end up teaming up to take down Featherine, but I kinda doubt that’ll happen.
I’m still hoping this is leading into some kind of new Umineko anime though, lol. That feels like it’d be the main reason for putting so much effort into this whole elaborate LambdaBern origin story we’re getting here.
I’ve heard rumors that there’s been listings for a 25th episode of Gou, so it’s possible that rather than another full season, there’s just one extra episode at the end. I’m not exactly sure what the point of doing one extra unannounced episode at the end would be, though. It might end up being a bridge between Gou and a new Umineko anime.
At the very least, if it’s just ‘Satokowashi Part 8′, it makes me wonder why they haven’t announced it yet, and why they didn’t just split that arc into two BD volumes with four episodes each, instead of having it be one big volume with seven episodes, and one random episode at the end for some reason. But if it’s more of an epilogue or a bridge of sorts between Gou and something else, with Gou’s story concluding with episode 24, then I guess it’d make some sense to do it that way.
We also know there’s gonna be a panel for Gou at a convention around when ep24 comes out, so if anything gets announced it’ll probably happen there.
Anyway, this whole episode can be summed up as “Satoko does a gay little psychological torture that pisses Rika off”, in the most morbidly entertaining way possible, lmao.
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theamazingbard · 2 months ago
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friends and allies of the witcher part 1 // part 2 // part 3 //  part 4 //  part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // part 8 // part 9  // part 10 // 11 // current cw: mentions of torture, food and drink anxieties, symptoms of ptsd       wc: 1.3k
Geralt is used to the scent of fear. Any time he finds himself around humans, he's bound to catch even a faint trace of it in the air.  
However, this isn't always true. In his lifetime, he has met a few individuals who didn't believe the rumors about witchers. Who understood that they are just mutated humans. Geralt can name all these people by heart. It's not difficult.  
Ciri was perhaps one of the most surprising. A traumatized child running from an entire army. Her grandmother, Calanthe, had ensured her that Geralt was her destiny. Even so, most people would run from witchers, not embrace them. It helps; knowing that his child surprise would not recoil from him and instead feel safe in his arms. It also terrifies him. A small blessing that she herself cannot smell fear.  
Yennefer with all her power and grace, controlling the small population of Rinde with held her head high. He has no doubts that she is his equal, and could definitely kill him if she ever felt he was a threat. This dynamic is intoxicating. It had been so easy to open up to her. Well. Easier than it had been with anyone else.  And he ruined it all with two mistakes: the wish, and withholding the secret of how he used his own desires to keep her close. Geralt does not allow himself to hope that coming back into her life with Ciri will repair that broken bridge.  
And then Jaskier. The way he sauntered up to his table in Posada, drink in hand. All he wanted at that moment was Geralt's opinion. Just a few seconds later, and an idea had sparked inside Jaskier. One that Geralt was sure would fizzle out once he got a true taste of the Path. If anything, however, it only fueled Jaskier’s hunger. Each hunt further inspired Jaskier to weave exaggerated tales of bravery and heroics. 
That might be why it’s such a punch in the gut to now smell the fear rolling off of him in waves, threatening to drown Geralt in the scent.  
The last time they met one another hadn’t exactly been Geralt’s finest fucking moment.  
All the things he had said to Jaskier still ring clear in his head. The rage and grief from Yennefer’s departure was raw and needed somewhere to go—and Jaskier was right there. It was all too easy to let the poisonous words spill from his lips. For a moment, he felt satisfied. Jaskier stood there, quiet and hurt and said his goodbyes. An end to all the annoyances, and surely an end to all the misfortune.  
However, with Nilfgaard coming directly for his child surprise, Geralt knew that the separation, however regrettable how it happened, was for the best. He didn’t allow himself to wonder how Jaskier was doing. If he had moved on, or was singing new songs. Not until he heard the whispers of villagers talking about Nilfgaardian knights looking for information.  
And again, Geralt couldn’t concern himself with Jaskier. With Ciri by his side, he was determined to get to Yennefer, understanding that the child’s visions had to mean something.  
And now he’s here.  
The moment he saw Yennefer step through a well-hidden forcefield, he knew something was off. She looked thinner and there were dark circles under her eyes. Never before had the sorceress appeared anything other than perfect, ravishing. Thankfully, she took them in. She must have sensed the great power within Ciri.  
But then there was Jaskier. Standing just behind the forcefield, like a wraith. It didn’t make sense for him to be there. None at all. He was supposed to be far away from all of this--sitting in a cushy court in the lap of luxury, playing silly little songs about better worlds.  
Not here. Not looking pale and jittery, with a cloud of fear hanging around him. He runs inside before Geralt can think of something to say.  
“Who was that?” Ciri asks.  
Geralt doesn’t have a good answer. “I knew him.”  
“But not anymore?”  
“Hm.” Ciri, he’s learning, has a habit of asking difficult questions. “Go inside.”  
Beside him, the child frowns, but then stomps towards the house that Yennefer built for herself. Geralt takes a moment longer before stepping inside.  
Fear lingers in the air. He hopes it was something born out of shock and, not due to what was said on the mountain all those months ago.
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Yennefer is going to train Ciri. Probably.  
Maybe.  
She’ll know what to do with the girl better than Geralt. Part of him thinks that he should just leave Ciri here--lead Nilfgaard away from them all.  
The thought of abandoning her, even with someone he trusts, leaves him feeling ill. It’s one of the reasons witchers don’t form attachments in the first place: keeping them close puts them in danger. Having been here for a few hours already, Geralt is starting to think that maybe he shouldn’t have formed any attachments at all.  
Yennefer and all her rage is familiar, but the magic around her seems dimmed. Held at bay by something. He doesn’t have a right to ask; hopes that it’s just an over-exertion of whatever she did at Sodden Hill. (It shouldn’t take her that long to recover.)
(He doesn’t have a right to ask.)  
And Jaskier... He went straight to his room. And didn’t come out once during the quiet, stilted dinner that Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri shared. It would have been more uncomfortable, had there not been something so satisfying about seeing Ciri finally eating a decent meal, or wearing clean clothes.  
After dinner he planned on getting rest himself. He needs to keep in shape for whatever dangers they might face. This safe house won’t stay hidden forever; Yennefer is too weak to hold such a powerful illusion for long. They’ll need to leave soon.  
It will take some convincing. Yennefer has her pride, and she’s still angry with him. But for Ciri, with her big green eyes and her determination to take down an entire army, it shouldn’t be impossible. Geralt saw how impressed Yennefer was with the child’s ambitions.
Jaskier, however.  
What to do.  
Geralt really did plan on getting rest. Sleeping. But then he heard the sound of Jaskier tiptoeing around the kitchen, taking the plate that Yennefer had left behind, before walking outside.  
He lays on his bed for a few minutes before the need to say something becomes too powerful.  
Purposefully, he walks with heavy steps, not wanting to scare Jaskier away once again. And scaring might be a literal thing: the stink of fear was all around him within seconds. Jaskier’s spine is stiff and straight, and his movements are far less fluid and sure than they were just months ago.  
Was this truly all from Geralt’s misplaced rage?  
Under normal circumstances, it’s difficult to say the right thing. Sitting next to someone he wounded so deeply has made it excruciating. But he tries. For Jaskier, he makes an effort.  
The effort blows up in his face: Jaskier panics and seems to lose sense of what’s going on. Of who he’s even talking to. His breath comes faster than it should, and his heartbeat races. And the fear. There’s so much of it. Geralt has never had to do much to reassure Jaskier. In fact, there was a time when he had to relay how much danger they were actually in.  
Now, the bard sees danger where there is none.  
(Unless he sees Geralt as the danger.)
Yennefer yells at him, reminds him that she told him to stay away from Jaskier.  
Geralt had thought that was just a biting comment. An offhand insult to keep him up late into the night.  
But she was trying to protect Jaskier. Protect him from Geralt. When she ushers Jaskier inside, Geralt is left standing alone in the small garden.  
He remains outside for a few moments longer.  
Eventually, the scent of fear dissipates, but Geralt won’t soon forget strong it was, nor whom it came from. 
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@fakemit @honeysuckletook @ourbooksuniverse @adearheart @ahhhhhhdonna  @victorieschild @messy-sunbeam @flusteredcas @psycopath-satan @hayleynzlive @birdsflyhome @abstractartwithoutpaint @samukai @pomegranatebitch @a-broken-but-valuable-human @quirkykayleetam @ashipwreckcoast
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special thanks to @ewanspotter for being a harsh but fair beta lol
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toss a coin to a broke bitch?
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eggyukhei · 2 months ago
HIHI!! OKAY SO THIS IS THE FIRST ASK AND I THINK YOU CAN PUT THE SECOND (EXTREMELY LONG ONE) AFTER THE READ MORE BECAUSE IDK HOW YOU CAN ANSWER ONE FULL ASK W/O MAKING YOUR FOLLOWERS DO A LOT OF SCROLLING LMAO (OR CAN YOU? TECHNOLOGY WOOHOO?)
ok i think i need to type something here for the read more to work actually HAHAHAH BUT HELLO <3
ANYWAY NOW THAT THAT'S OUT AND WAS SO TOUGH TO TYPE IN A WAY WHICH SOUNDED COHERENT; IT PROBABLY STILL DIDN'T BUT OH WELL :") FHSLOQID BUT HASN'T APPLE BEGUN TO ABANDON THE BUTTONS TOO THO 👀 BUT YEAH BUTTON PHONES (WHY DOES THAT SOUND WEIRD) JUST HAVE A LOT OF NOSTALGIA ASSOCIATED WITH THEM LIKE MIDDLE SCHOOL DAYS BFAKKWJD EEE OKAY I GOOGLED IT and this is what came "The first emoji were created in 1999 by Japanese artist Shigetaka Kurita. Kurita worked on the development team for “i-mode,” an early mobile internet platform from Japan's main mobile carrier, DOCOMO. ... Emoji quickly became popular in Japan, as rival mobile companies copied DOCOMO's idea." SO UM YEAH THIS WILL BE ALL THE CONTENT FOR WHEN I WRITE A DOCUMENTARY ON EMOJIS LOL. AND OH GOD NOT HOW I'M RESPONDING TO THIS 20+ DAYS LATER HDHSKAO BUT YES I DID TREASURE MY 3 DAYS OF BREAK AND AM STRUGGLING VERY BADLY GETTING THROUGH 8+ EXAMS A MONTH
Lmao honestly I don't need a helmet to make my head bigger than it is and for that it should fit well in the first place which no helmet ever does rip (someone point and laugh at my big head come on) and noo i wouldn't headbump you (ok maybe? If provoked 😤 JKJKJKK) BUT MAYBE YOU CAN WEAR IT WITH ME AND THEN WE CAN RE ENACT A SCENE FROM SOME WAR AND GET CASTED SOON. THE RISE OF ACTRESS!TK OHHHOOOOOO. NAW MAN WHEN THE CHILD'S MOM GIVES YOU THE STINK EYE INSTEAD OF UNDERSTANDING THAT HER TODDLER IS... OVERREACTIVE?? INSTANT DEATH. BUT YEAH OMG TO BE THE SAID TODDLER AS A YOUNGER SIBLING JDNAKLAKSJ WHEN YOU SAID EASY CRIER I FELT THAT IN MY BONES BRO EVERYTHING IS A TEAR JERKER!! ITS NOT ME ITS THE PEOPLE AROUND ME!!
C'S GET DEGREES?? HOHOHOHO LEGEND QUOTE BOUT TO GO MAKE THAT MY LIFE MOTTO NOW BUT YES YOU CAN DO IT I'M CHEERING FOR YOUU! NO SERIOUSLY WINWIN AND TEN ARE ABOUT YO FLEX WITH THEIR KINDERGARTEN GFS NO THANKS BOYS.FHSJAKOA HYUCK WITH THOSE GLASSES AND MARK WITH THAT WEIRD MOVE IN THE DANCE BREAK FOR THE LQ VID YEAH ATTRACTIVE BOYS I SAY 🗣️ HDJAKADHSKAK YES THE BIRTH OF MY FAV JAEMIN MEME THAT ENTIRE VIDEO ESP THE PART WHERE HES LIKE cUtTINg eDgE tEchNoLogY iTs nOt hOt AND THEN IT STRUCK HIM I LOVE THAT DUDE. AND JENO?? LIFTING A WHOLE BICYCLE?? BRO??
SERIOUSLY THO ROOKIE TY WAS SOMETHING ELSE WITH EVERYONE BEING LIKE WHAT'S UNDER THE MASK OF THOSE COLD VISUALS oOooOoOooOo I wasn't an nctzen then but..damn AND DOYOUNG IS MAJORLY OVERSTEPPING THE BOUNDARIES TOO MUCH LATELY HIS BIRTHDAY LIVE WAS SOOO GOOD AND I THINK ITS ONLY RECENTLY WHERE HE'S KIND OF PUT TO REST THE ENTIRE IG INFLUENCER THING (AT LEAST SLOWED IT DOWN LOL) OTHERWISE EVERY OTHER DAY HIS "OOTD 😚✌️" POSTS SHOWED UP. LIKE NO!! CALM DOWN AND SPEAKING OF DOYOUNG THERE IS A HIGH CHANCE YOU'VE SEEN THIS BECAUSE IT'S MAKING THE ROUNDS AND PLUS YOURE INTO GAMES BUT I THINK YOU'LL FIND THE DOYOUNG WATERMELON GAME EXTREMELY ENJOYABLE YOU BASICALLY JUST DROP THE IDENTICAL DOYOUNGS (help I don't know how to paraphrase this hdkakadjs) ON EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY BREAK INTO A BIGGER DOYOUNG LMAO ILL LINK IT ONCE I FOND WORKING LINKS FOR YOU. I'D BE LYING IF I SAID I HAVEN'T WASTED TOO MUCH TIME SEEING KPOP BOYS BURST INTO BIGGER KPOP BOYS (my high score was formed every single time with hyuck, bye mark I'm in hyuck's lane now) HAAAA ME IN JOCK!Y/N FIC? HXJSKAKKW REALISTICALLY I THINK MY PERSONALITY HAS MAJOR SIDE-CHARACTER/SIDEKICK VIBES WITH THE OFFHAND COMMENTS AND THE CONSTANT HYPING UP TO NAME A FEW BUT MY MAIN CHARACTER SYNDROME IN MY HEAD IS ACTING UP AND MAKING MY HEART SOAR AT THAT LMAO AND AAHAHHA APART FROM THE FACT THAT THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A FOUL I'M REGRETTING NOT MEETING YOU WHEN I WAS ON THE TEAM AHSHDJAKAK
NAH WAIT IS THIS IT?? ANDROID'S SUPERIOR MOVE?? JDKSKAKJS I'LL SEND YOU A PICTURE OF A COOL DINOSAUR WHEN RANDOMLY ON MY TABLE TO RUB IT IN A LITTLE MORE :)))) SJALKJDAL YOU KNOW I'M CHECKING IN AFTER LONG WHEN I'VE FINALLY GOTTEN THE UPDATE AHAHHAHA
AH YEAH WASN'T IT MINHO IN GEE IF I'M NOT WRONG? YEEPP AESPA'S OWN STUFF LOOKS PRETTY COOL THO! AGGFHSKALDKJA YOU'RE A MINT CHOCOLATE LOVER HERE WE GO AGAIN I AM...NOT A FAN OF MINT CHOCOLATE LITERALLY YOU PROBABLY THINK I'M SO PICKY BUT I  FULLY BROUGHT THAT UPON MYSELF BY INFLICTING FOOD RELATED CONVERSATIONS. would like to clarify that if anything edible is in front of me and I'm hungry I WILL TAKE IT 😌
OH WAIT REALLY? IT DID LOOK LIKE IT HAD A LOT OF PLOT INTEGRATION GOING ON IN HER MV I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT UNDERSTANDING THAT STUFF BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE TOLD ME I'LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT IT THIS STUFF IS ALWAYS SO EXCITING. YOU'VE TOLD ME IT'S SAD NOW TOO. GOTTA CHECK IT OUT YEESSS AND YES WINTER'S VOICE IS SO ADDICTINGG what did you think of forever? I thought the entire winter concept was so cool I'm just a sucker for winter concepts give them to me at any time June July and you'll catch me being 🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲 HDBSMKAKELQL DOYOUNG'S EXPRESSION EXPLAINING NCT CONCEPT FOR THE NTH TIME AHAHAHAHAHDJFJAKKDKA
THE WAY THIS RONA SITUATION REALLY ISN'T LOOKING BETTER HERE OH GOD. HOW IS IT WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW? WHERE I'M AT PEOPLE JUST.. DON'T CARE EVERYDAY IS A FRIDAY AND THEY'RE PARTYING LIKE THEIR LIVES DEPEND ON IT AND I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL ON MONDAY TO GAHH I FEEL LIKE I'M IN MIDDLE SCHOOL AGAIN AND THOSE MONDAY BLUES ARE SO REAL. HDJSKAKEM COME TO THINK OF IT YEAH 2012 WAS REALLY JUST AN EMBODIMENT OF WHAT WE WERE YET TO SEE IN 2020-21
YOU'RE A GOOD CITIZEN FOR NOT GOING OUT EVEN IF IT MEANS DISSOCIATING FROM YOUR ENVIRONMENT AND I'M SURE YOU'RE GETTING BROWNIE POINTS FROM SOMEWHERE FOR THAT!! AWH YEAH DIVE STUDIOS HAS LIKE DIFF IDOLS W/ DIFF SEGMENTS AND ERIC NAM IS NOW COMING OUT W SOMETHING MORE "UNFILTERED" AND I'M SO SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE THAT! YESSS KAITI YOO'S FIRE SIGN LOOKBOOK REALLY DID OPEN MY EYES TO THE KIND OF VIBES I SHOULD BE GIVING OFF WITH MY OUTFITS AND WHAT VIBE I DO GIVE OFF... BECAUSE UM HER CUTE BLAZER AND MY CHEETO STAINED JOGGERS ARENT THE SAME DHKAOSIDLAL :") TBH DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE ANDREW JK LOOKS SIMILARITY THING BUT ANDREW'S ENERGY IS DEFINITELY UP THERE THO I VIBE W HIM IN THE VIDEOS LMAO
LITERALLY I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING AND IT WAS MY BROTHER AND HIS FRIEND PLAYING AND HIS FRIEND HURT ME AND DIDN'T APOLOGIZE BUT NEITHER DID I RATIONALLY THINK BEFORE TRAIPSING THROUGH THE COURT LIKE IT WAS NOBODY'S BUSINESS MAD LAD IS PRETTY ACCURATE DGAKAKLAL YOU GOT HIT TOO BUT I'M SURE THE FACT THAT YOU WERE PLAYING MADE YOU LOOK SO MUCH COOLER YOU PROBABLY HAVE LIKE SCARS OR SOMETHING FROM TENNIS MATCHES (IF YOU GET THOSE?? HELP???) AND LIKE ARE LIKE "yesh these are my battle scars" OR LIKE SOMETHING SUPER WARRIOR LIKE AND PLAYING 1-2 TIMES A WEEK. YOU ARE SERIOUSLY SO COOL. DGSKKWKRKA MY FRIEND LITERALLY TOLD ME ABOUT THAT DUDE THE OTHRR DAY AND ANOTHER FRIEND OF MINE USED THIS GIF TO DESCRIBE IT I HATE THEM ZBSMALJDJALQKD
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GORDON RAMSAY REALLY OUT HERE BEING HIS OWN SPECIES. BUT HONESTLY IN MARK'S VERY VERY POOR DEFENSE I'D SAY HE IMPROVED?? LIKE HIS EGGS ON NCT WORLD WERE NOT ALL LIQUID...WITH MUCH ASSISTANCE IT LOOKED LIKE HE COULD AT LEAST MAKE 4 ACCEPTABLE ONES FHAKAKJDNA THE BRO ZONE IS VALID I WILL CONTINUE TO HAVE HIM UPHOLD HIS POSITION BECAUSE I BELIEVE HIS ABSOLUTE FAILURE WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING EGGS IS KARMIC JUSTICE BECAUSE HE'S A GREAT RAPPER + DANCER AND ALSO CUTE 😎👍 BDKALISJFLAOAJE
HONESTLY THE BREAD I EAT IS JUST REGULAR BROWM BREAD THE WHEAT ONE THAT TOO IT'S AN ACQUIRED TASTE THAT WORKS FOR ME SO WELL. IM VERY MUCH JUDGED FOR IT YES THO AHAHHAH YESSS NAAN AND GRAVY IS THE REAL DEAL ESP WITH LOADS OF BUTTER + DRIZZLING LEMON JUICE AND ONIONS ON TOP WOW I'M REALLY CRAVING SOME BUTTER CHICKEN HERE WHEN ITS 12:30 AM. LITERALLY!!! I SEE A LOT OF PEOPLE GOING OUT AND GET TEMPTED BUT I ALSO SEE CASES RISE SO I SIT BACK DOWN ITS A PEMDAS SITUATION (ALSO I JUST LEARNT YESTERDAY THAT Y'ALL CALLED IT PEMDAS HELP WE CALL IT BODMAS HERE SHKALAJRKAL) I LITERALLY WENT TO MY FRIEND AND WAS LIKE "bro wth is a pemdas bro" AND HE WAS LIKE "uhh so like in th-" HFKSOAJJDALOQN
YOUR EXPLANATION ON TEACHERS NOT WANTING TO LEARN. BROO YOUR BRAIN THIS IS MUCH TO THINK ABOUT MMHMM AND OH YOU HAVE LIKE A YELP FOR YOUR TEACHERS OHOHOH SO COOL WE'D GET SLAPPED NO JOKE hm but some are becoming more open to criticism and feedback when we tell them the "read the textbook don't disturb me" method isn't the most effective one per se ASTONISHING HOW THEY DON'T TEACH AT ALL BUT SEVERAL MEN ON YT ARE WILLING TO GIVE ME A CRASH COURSE 😤 HUH I HOPE YOUR ANIME BOYS ARE KEEPING YOU ENTERTAINED I CANNOT GET MYSELF TO GET INTO IT BUT WHATEVER SAILS YOUR BOAT :D!! NAH THERE'S NO PAUSE HERE JUST SUPER SPORADIC EXAM SCHEDULE KEEPING ME.FROM CARRYING OUT REGULAR HUMAN THINGS aHAHAHAHAHA SURE WHEN I GET DISTRACTED BY KPOP I'LL JUST REMEMBER HOW MY KPOP BOY CAN'T MAKE EGGS! PRO TIP TK LOVE THAT FHSKKJRJWLQKRJAKAKLMAO also side not I am looking to revamp my scrambled eggs because I have come to realize that egg w salt pepper and bread isn't always the most diverse flavor out there bdkakwjeka what do you do spice up your eggs (NO PUN INTENDED THEREBSHAKIEKAO I'D GET THRASHED FOR MAKING THAT JOKE IRL OH GOD)
LITERALLY 2PM DANCES REVOLUTIONIZING THE INDUSTRY AND SHINEE TOO FOR THAT MATTER SO CRAZYYY. HHFJDBSKLA I NEVER VENTURED INTO AMY OF THE 1D FICS BC THE INTERNET IS A SCARY PLACE I SAW A LOT OF CRAZIER FANS THEN AND GOT SO SCARED MY FIRST EXPERIENCE BEING IN A "FANDOM" DJKALAKSLA DID IT FOR THE ENTIRE "CUTE BOYBAND" EXPERIENCE THO. CAN'T SAY I REGRET IT AT ALL AHAHAHA AYEEE OLD MAROON 5 MUSIC HITS HARD TODAY TOO!! LMAO ME HATING/BEING IGNORANT TO KAI EQUATES ME AVOIDING USING THE WORDS "DUDE" AND "BRO" UNIRONICALLY YEARS BACK BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS BEYOND ALL THAT AND TOO COOL. NOW YEARS LATER THEY ARE THE TOP TWO WORDS IN MY VOCABULARY. THIRD BEING THE WORD COOL. MY PERSONALITY HAS BOILED DOWN TO THOSE THREE WORDS IN THE SPAN OF THESE YEARS. AGAIN, CAN'T SAY I REGRET IT SICBAKDBALKQLQ
AND OHH GODD YEAH KAI IS SO HARD TO GET OVER ALL THESE MONTHS AFTER HIS ALBUM AND I'M PLAYING NOTHING ON ME ON REPEAT HERE. NOT YOU WANTING TO CONVERT TO EGGJONGIN WHILST STILL HAVING THE ONGOING DOYOUNG-YUKHEI-JAEMIN DEBACLE 👏👏 AND AWH OMG TY FOR THE SUPPORT YOU'RE THE NICEST :")
MAANNN LUCAS TILL WAS SO WOW SERIOUSLY  AND OOOO I'M GOING TO GO CHECK THAT GAME OUT I'M REALLY MISSING GOING AND SMOOSHING MY FACE AGAINST THE WALL EXPECTING THE FISH TO DANCE FOR ME OR SMTH DBAKOQJRAL. YEAH MAN LITERALLY TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE AND BE SMART AND COOL IS BASICALLY THE GOAL RN AND WE CAN DO ITT I TRUST!!
HDJAKAKEKAL NOT ME CHECKING IN TOO TOO LATE AFTER YOUR BREAK BUT I HOPE NOW THAT UR BACK TO ATTENDING CLASSES THEY'RE GOING SMOOTHLY! AW YEAH YOU AND I OUT HERE ACCELERATING EACH OTHER'S ABILITY TO PUSH WORK TILL THE LAST MINUTE SPEAKING OF WHICH I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE AT 630 IN THE MORNING FOLLOWED BY A TEST DBKSAIOW LOVE THAT FOR ME. NO DUDE DON'T BE SORRY I HEARD ABOUT THAT PRETTY RECENTLY TOO! SEEMED PRETTY SWELL SO I TRIED TO INCORPORATE IT AS WELL AND IT WORKED SUPER WELL! I also tend to get really antsy and can't work for long so I followed the HOP strategy aka the Hour of Power strategy in which you review/plan/ set up your space for 15 mins of the hour and get the assigned work done in 45 mins kinda like the pomodoro method if I'm not wrong? So yeah that worked for me better too! I'm a kinesthetic learner to these online "hacks" just don't do it for me but I'm doing all I can taking in the situation and I hope learning/grasping isn't/ hasnt been giving you that hard a time too :D!!! DGWJWKIELAK DOYOUNG REALLY... YEAH I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING I THINK 2020 SHOULD SOLELY BE LABELLED "THE LIBERALIZATION OF KIM DOYOUNG" BECAUSE THATS THE BEST THING THAT CAME OUT OF IT. ALSO IF I'M BEING HONEST OUT OF EVERY NCT MEMBER'S IG THAT COULD LOOK LIKE THAT I WOULD NEVER HAVE IMAGINED IT'D BE HIM. HE REALLY OUT HERE HUH.
MAN I'M FEELING SUPER BAD YOUR PATIENCE WHEN IT COMES TO AWAITING MY MESSAGES AND YOUR RECEPTION OHOHO YOU ARE TOO NICE TO ME YOU DESERVE ALL THE GOLD STARS TO EVER EXIST. IT'S TOO LATE BUT YES I HAD A GOOD NEW YEARS AND DID TUNE IN TO THE SM CONCERT INSTEAD OF STUDYING BECAUSE I HAD TO BE INSANE TO TURN DOWN A FREE CONCERT. AN SM CONCERT THAT TOO.
ALSO ISN'T IT YOUR BDAY ON SUNDAY THIS IS SO EXCITING YESSSSS I'M SO PUMPED FOR YOU!! DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS??
DAMN I JUST CHECKED AND BARELY ANY OF THOSE WATERMELON GAME LINKS THAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT WORK THAT'S TRAGIC ALTHOUGH I DID FIND THIS JAEMIN VER THAT WORKS SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY AHAHAH <33 
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BROOO UR MIND IS SO MEGA FOR THE SECOND BIG MESSAGE YEAH i don’t think there’s a read more option when sending in asks so. BIG BRAIN!!!
ok YEAH apple is getting rid of buttons but like. IT’S THE WRONG MOVE!!! STEVE JOBS IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE!!!! DFHASKJDFSH i mean it’s just me being stubborn and not wanting to learn new shortcuts and stuff if i ever upgrade my phone but..... having a button is so satisfying qwq BUT YEAHHH OLD SCHOOL PHONES!!!!! i used to have one that slide for the horizontal keyboard you know, i was baller like that dB) HAHAHAH but damn ur out here megamind as heck with the emoji history HAHAHA love that this reveals that the plural of emoji is just emoji. but also to reiterate like 2 words ago, look at this emoji: dB) HAHAHA ITS A DUDE WITH A CAP AND SUNGLASSES!!!!! IT’S MY FAVE!!! AND NPNPNP ABOUT THE RESPONSE TIME PLEASEEE I’M JUST GLAD YOU ENJOYED YOUR SHORTLIVED BREAK BUT JEEZZZZZ YOU’RE LITERALLY BUILT DIFFERENT WHAT THE FUCKKK 8 EXAMS I’M SO SORRY BRO I’LL KEEP YOU IN MY MIND QWQ YOU MF GOT THIS!!!!
bro if u think ur head is big that just means ur brain is fucking HUGEEEEE OKAY!! >:) but it’s ok i would let you headbump me HAHAH omg did i tell u this story. when i was a sophomore, i had to play doubles with a freshman during practice and to break the ice i did weird random shit so i like. bent over like an upside down L you know????? so like legs straight and back bent over so i formed a right angle??? yeah and then i ran at her to lightly bump her in the stomach with my head. IDK WHY OKAY 15 YEAR OLD ME WAS DUMB but then SHE SAW ME COMING AND SHE BENT OVER AND DID THE SAME THING AND WE RAN INTO EACH OTHER COLLIDING HEADS and yeah she’s still a dear friend to me today and like yeah that could be us HAHAHAHAHA but BRO u tell me the scene and i will def reenact it with u LMFAO omg back then when my bro wanted to be a youtuber, i featured in one of his vids when i was like 9 and the lines i had were dumb as hell iirc TT.TT BUT YEAHHH OMG i’ve never had an irl experience where a mom completely overlooks their annoying kid but when i see it in media..... /SHAKES CLENCHED FIST/ KJDFJKAFDHK but YESSS EASY CRIERS UNITE!!!!!
HAHAAHH OMG me trying not to make c’s a habit: ...... me who’s like 3 weeks into the semester and has already started to skip lectures, like literally what i’m doing rn as i reply to this: kjfhaskfjhsafkjsahs BUT THANK YOUUUU I’M CHEERING U ON TOO!!! WE GOT THIS!! BUT YEAH FR EVERYONE IS LIKE WE’RE NOT REALLY EVEN ALIVE YET PLS QWQ dude nct said HOT BOYS PRIVILEGE BECAUSE THEY COULD BE DOING THE MOST RANDOM NONSENSICAL STUFF AND YET WE ARE SO HEART EYES FOR EM!! JAKFHAKHFAFJKSH GODDDDD JAEMIN IS SO WEIRD........ I LIKE HIM /DEBBY RYAN HAIR TUCK/ BUT DUDE THE LONGER I STAY IN THE NCT FANDOM THE MORE I REALIZE THAT DAMN JENO IS A FAN FAVORITE FR HAHAHAH LIKE YOU’RE CATCHING FEELINGS FOR HIM TOO???? GODDAMN EVERYONE AROUND ME IS GONNA BE A JENO STAN AND ITS UNDERSTANDABLE. HE’S A CUTIE WHO IS STRONG AND WHAT FOR
LOL OMG YEAHHH taeyong had such a fatal look in t7s!!!! ahh i wasn’t an nctzen too when t7s came out, i didn’t like it at first but kept watching it bc i liked the dance LOL WHICH IS LITERALLY THE SAME WAY I GOT INTO BTS W DOPE HHAH BUT YEAH WHAT A TIME!!! OH MY GODDDD YES LET’S TALK ABT DOYOUNG AND HOW HE’S THE EPITOME OF GOOD GIRL GONE BADDIE ON IG. SHEESHHHHHH I LOSE BRAINCELLS EVERYTIME I SEE HIM POST. HEAD MF EMPTY BECAUSE HE’S KILLING ME OVER HERE. OH MY GOD. THOUGHT HE WAS 😇 BUT HE’S REALLY JUST 😈😈😈😈😈 like not to be dramatic BUT I HATE HIM FOR DOING THIS TO ME!!! SAVAGE MF!!!! I AGREE LIKE PLEASE DOYOUNG. CALM DOWN. I HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE KJAGFAKFAF!! TOO YOUNG TO DIE BY YOUR HANDS!!! BUT OMG I KNOW THOSE TYPE OF GAMES, IT’S LIKE YOU COMBINE EM TO GET STRONGER VERSIONS OF THE SMALL ONES YOU COMBINED RIGHT!!! AHHH I USED TO BE OBSESSED WITH THOSE LMFAO BUT YESSS I AM DOWN IF YOU FIND LINKS HAHAJHJKADHKJAHDSA BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. HYUCK’S LANE??? UDNERSTANDABLE. SORRY MARK IT’S FULL SUN TIME :) PLEASSEEEE SO MANY SIDE CHARACTERS ARE BETTER THAN THE MAIN CHARACTERS THOUGH ???? TO NAME A FEW, THE OTHER GUY IN TO ALL THE BOYS 2ND MOVIE??? IDR WHO HE WAS BUT THE GUY WHO’S NOT NOAH CENTINEO LMFODAHKAFAKFJAH ALSO WYLAN AND JESPER IN SOC WERE DEF THE LEAST TALKED ABOUT, AT LEAST IN THE FIRST BOOK??? IF UR INTO STAR WARS. JAR JAR BINKS???? HELLO??? KAJSFHAKJFDHSFSA OKOK IM JOKING (OR AM I) ABOUT THE LAST ONE BUT YOU GET MY GIST!! EITHER WAY YOU WOULD BE THE COOLEST JOCK!Y/N OK. IT’S FACT!! THIS IS FATE THAT’S A FACT KFDLKFJALF AND EVEN IF KNOCKING DOWN PLAYERS IS A FOUL, IN YOUR AU YOU WOULD KNOCK DOWN MARK OR SOMETHING AND HE WOULD LOOK UP AT U AND BE LIKE OMG I DONT MIND AT ALL /HEART EYES/
imagine looking at 3d dinos on ur phone..... couldn’t be me dB( HHAHAHA BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD. PLS DO SEND ME THE DINO PICS AND PUT ME IN MY PLACE dB((((((((( HAHAHAH THAT IS REALLY COOL THO... NGL......
YEAH OMG I REMEMBER SEEING GEE AS A KID AND THINKING MINHO WAS CUTE BEFORE I KNEW WHO HE WAS........ THE TASTE!! jhfkjfhjfsd... JFAJKFHF DO U JUST NOT LIKE MINT FLAVORS IN GENERAL!!! r u gonna tell me it tastes like toothpaste.... pls don’t break my heart... PLS NO but i would love to hear what foods you like that most people you’ve met dislike!! unless.......... u truly are a picky eater JASKHASKAJSDAS
YESSS ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND IS NO DOUBT THE PLOT OF TAEYEONS MV AND IT IS GREAT!!! yeah i watched it with my friend on valentines eve LMFAOOOO IT WAS AWESOME AND SAD HAHAHA it’s also a heartache and SOME laughs but yeah... WHAT A GOOD MOVIE AGHHH I HIGHLY REC PLSPLSPLS!!! WE LOVE THE SAD MOVIES!! OOHHH aespa’s forever... i think i listened to it once but i remember liking it????? honestly i eventually warm up to like all sm songs LOL BUT YESSS I FEEL IT!! WINTER CONCEPTS >>>> (exo christmas day... THE STAGE WITH SUSPENDERS.... ENOUGH SAID) i think just thinking about hot cocoa and cuddling and snow..... GOD IM GETTING SOFT KJHFKJSAF BUT YEAH IT’S SUPERIOR!! HAKJHAFHF DOYOUNG IS SO FUNNY I SWEARRRR JKHFKAJHFDJAF I ... I L*KE HIM
AHH I’M SORRY RONA ISN’T GETTING BETTER THERE QAQ honestly at this point idk how it’s going here. i see a lot of people getting vaccines but also i’m still getting notifications of covid cases on my campus?????????????????????????????????? so idk what the hell people are doing smfh but i’m pretty content staying at home sometimes..... i do nothing outside anyways LMFAO but SHEESH yeah it sucks when people are not socially responsible QWQ but it’s bold of u to assume that i wasn’t already dissociated from my environment before covid started AHDKAJSHDAJD but yeah idk how people do it????? the effort you’d have to go thru to make plans outside, esp with a lot of places closed down + you might get sick.... i mean even if i didn’t care abt my family like it just seems like a lot of work LMFAOOOO BUT OMG ERIC NAM IS COMING OUT W SOMETHING “UNFILTERED” YOU SAY??? /SIDE EYES EMOJI/ BRUH I JUST REMEMBER HIM READING THIRST TWEETS AND IT WAS SO FUNNY SO I AM DOWN FOR THIS TYPE OF PODCAST!! but bro who says you wouldn’t rock both a blazer AND cheeto stained joggers. think abt it. yes i am serious because u are just that cool and versatile. :) HAHAHA ANDREW IS SO FUNNY SO IT MAKES SENSE THAT U VIBE W HIM BECAUSE UR HILARIOUS TOO :)))
HAHAHA ITS OK FOR US TO HAVE 1 BRAINCELL AS KIDS dB) but at most i’ve only gotten bruises from tennis, no scars!!!! if only i would look cool with scars then maybe i’d be down but it’d prob look like i got beat up or something if tennis gave me scars HAHAHA BUT THANK U FOR THINKING SO, i’ve been wanting to start a more healthy regimen w my diet and exercise but like. damn i really like to laze around. stuck in that “here for a good time not a long time” mentality HAHAH BUT OH MY GODDDD THE GIF IM FUCKING CRYING I’VE SEEN THIS GIF BEFORE AND I WHOLLY LOVE IT AND THE FACT THAT UR FRIEND USED IT TO DESCRIBE THIEM’S DUMPTRUCK BOOTY IS AMAZING. A MEGAMIND MOVE.
ok ur right it’s awesome that mark improved and it should be acknowledged.... however the fact that it was still so bad at his age.............................. idk bro a yt vid on cooking eggs is like 1 min long like was it really THAT HARD TO GET ?? JSFHDJKFHASDFKJAHDSK!!! BUT OKOKOKOKOK SORRY I JUST LIKE TO CLOWN HIM, LET US HAVE SOME APPLAUSE FOR OUR FAV DORK :) FJKDAFAJF UR RIGHT, HE HAD TO GET NERFED SOMEHOW OR ELSE HE WOULD JUST BE AN OP BOY HUH
BROOOO DID YOU JUST SAY BROWN BREAD IS AN ACQUIRED TASTE JKHFDKJAHD CRYINGGG WTF ALL BREAD IS GREAT!! BUT MMMM OMG THAT ALL SOUNDS SO MF GOOOODDDDD I HOPE WHEN UR MAKING BIG BIG BANK THAT YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE MIDNIGHT BUTTER CHICKEN YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF!! GO YOU FOR RESISTING THE TEMPTATION TO GO OUT THOOO !! dude u guys could call it bodmas because math bodies the fuck outta everyone HAHAHA UR FRIEND WAS PROB SO CONFUSED FOR U TO SUDDENLY ASK ABOUT PEMDAS OMG KJFHKAJFH
HAHAAHA YEAH it’s like some sites where you can just select a school and find a teacher’s name and then submit an anonymous review!!!! they’re not affiliated w the actual schools i think and idk if teachers would actually be allowed to trace back to an actual person you know? but DAMN teachers be brutal over there ;o; FR THE YT TUTORIAL VIDS LIKE KHAN ACADEMY ARE THE REAL HOMIES!!! HAHAHAH ITS OKAY I WILL ENJOY MY ANIME GAMES ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US KJKAJHAHA AND YEAH LIKE IF HE CAN’T COOK EGGS WHAT IF HE BURNS UR PRECIOUS BREAD :( but omg ur asking me how to revamp eggs WHEN I ALSO EAT MY EGGS PLAIN WITH SALT AND PEPPER ON TOAST HAHAHAHAH LIKE I LITERALLY EAT A BOILED EGG ON TOAST MAYBE 4X A WEEK LOL BUT 1) SPICING UP EGGS IS A FANTASTIC JOKE AND 2) i think maybe add... CHEESSEEE IF YOU CAN IDK I LOVE CHEESE like maybe make an omelette if you know how! my dad eats his eggs sunny side up with soy sauce and my friends make scrambled eggs with fish sauce, some make it with cream! i like to eat eggs with fried sausages or spam too!!!! but in all honesty, salt and pepper eggs are SO GOOD LIKE IDK I FEEL LIKE YOU DON’T NEED TO CHANGE EM HAHAHAHA
YESSS 2PM AND SHINEE OUT HERE WITH SOME SUPREME DANCES OMG!! JKFHJKFHA POOR YOUNG JOY BUT I FEEL IT!! sometimes i hear about old tumblr fandoms thru video essays on yt and i’m so SHOCKEDDD like wtf went on in 2012 tumblr LOOL OMG I’VE NEVER SEEN CRAZY 1D FANS BEFORE THO HAHAH !! and YESSS OLD MAROON5 MUSIC DEF STILL GOES HARD TODAY!!! JFHAJKDFHAKFJ BROOOO YOU AND I AS KIDS REALLY WERE TOO /EDGY/ WITH THE E2L PHASE @ KAI HAHAHA BUT HAVING DUDE, BRO, AND COOL AS THE TOP 3 WORDS TO DESCRIBE IS VALID IMO. LIKE DEPENDING ON HOW YOU SAY IT, YOU CAN CONVEY A LOT??? SO IT’S REALLY VERSATILE ACTUALLY??? IT’S LIKE THE OFFICE MEME “WHY SAY MANY WORDS WHEN FEW WORDS DO TRICK” HHAAHAHAH IT’S ACTUALLY SO BIG BRAIN
OMG FRRR IF I FOLLOWED MORE JONGIN-CENTRIC BLOGS I WOULD DEF BE MORE ON THE EGGJONGIN AGENDA BUT DOYOUNG (and yukhei-jaemin) TRULY ARE ON THE FOREFRONT OF MY BRAIN KJFHAKFJD AND YESS OFC <3
BROO YESS IM STILL SALTY LUCAS TILL WASN’T THE ULTIMATE HANNAH MONTANA LOVE INTEREST SMFHH LITERALLY WHAT DID THE OTHER DUDES HAVE TO OFFER THAT HE DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE??????? BUT YEHAHH IF YOU EVER GET THE GAME ABZU PLS LMK HOW YOU LIKE IT!!!! but bro u expected the fish to dance for u KJSFHAKJFHFJDSF LIKE I KNOW YOU DON’T MEAN IT LIKE HOW TYRANT KINGS ARE PORTRAYED SAYING “DANCE MONKEY, DANCE” BUT THAT’S HOW I READ AND IMAGINED UR MESSAGE HAJKASHDKJAHDAD
HAHAHA YESSS the classes are .. going!!!! HAHAHA i’ve been paying attention SOMEWHAT better than i did last semester so that’s a start!!! HAHAH we co-rule the procrastiNATION HAHAHA but SHEESH WHY WOULD THEY MAKE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE AT 6:30AM WTF I HOPE THAT UR ASSIGNMENT AND TEST WENT WELL AHH!! i’m glad the active recall is working out for u!! but omg i’ve never heard of the HOP strat but that sounds cool, maybe i will try it out because i also get too distracted to work for long periods at a time !!!! ur mind is so mega omg ok i just have to actually sit down and try out these methods even if they’re super short aghh kajfhadkjfahf!!!! OKAY BUT “THE LIBERALIZATION OF DOYOUNG” I M YELLIGN JKAFAFJHDFKAJSFHDKFJS I KNOWWWW I THOUGHT HE WAS LIKE IDK. CLASS PRESIDENT VIBES SO NOT INTO POSTING SOME UTTERLY RUDE PHOTOS OF HIMSELF BUT IG HE IS AN EXTREMELY MULTIFACETED MAN AFJAKDFJHFS!!!!! >:O
BRO IT’S LITERALLY NP BECAUSE HONESTLY THE TIME PASSING IS LIKE NOTHING FOR ME BECAUSE I AM A GOD AT PROCRASTINATING AND DOING OTHER STUFF YOU KNOW LIKE. TIME JUST DOES NOT EXIST HAHAHA + I’M LIKE 99% OF THE TIME NEVER THE FIRST TO SEND MESSAGES TO ANYONE,, EVER SO IT’S REALLY NOT DIFFERENT FROM HOW I TYPICALLY FUNCTION LOLOLOL BUT UR THE BEST GOLD STAR HEHE :,))))) KSKS AND UR MIND IS SO MEGA FOR STICKING THRU THE FREE SM CONCERT INSTEAD OF STUDYING!!!! FR LIKE IT’S FREEEEE HAHAHA
HAHAHA YESSSS JUST A FEW MORE DAYS UNTIL I’M 21!!! my friend and i are gonna drink a lil bit HAHAHAHAHA it’s gonna be my first time drinking aside from like, 1 sip of vodka i’ve had in the past!!! but yeah my dad bought me sake after i asked if he and my mom would be comfortable with me drinking for the first time at home LMFAOOO and my friend’s actually gonna come pick up the second bottle he bought for me in a bit!!!! but yeah we’re gonna facetime and drink this fruity sake and idk watch a movie or be dumb as per usual <3
HAHAHAHA OMFG THIS JAEMIN COMBINING GAME IM CRYINGKFJGHKJGHGSJGHFG IDK WHY IT’S SO FUNNY TO HEAR THE POP SOUNDS LKMFAOAJFAF BUT YES THANK YOU I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THIS AND I HOPE THE CREATOR PUT THIS ON THEIR RESUME HAHAKHAHDKDHAD AMAZING !! ANYWAYSSSSS GOOD LUCK WITH THE REST OF UR EXAMS BROOO REMEMBER TO EAT UR EGGS N BREAD N DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND GET TONS OF SLEEP IN BETWEEN!!!! dB)
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thefanficmonster · 2 months ago
Text
Wouldn’t Be You
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. James Charles, Bretman Rock
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: FLUFF
Summary: Corpse’s girlfriend joins a game of Among Us with the usual streamer gang. However, when two members leave due to technical difficulties, two special guests replace them - James Charles and Bretman Rock who Y/N meets for the first time. The experiences she has with the newcomers are pretty opposite, but you’ll just have to wait and see.
Requested by @dont-hyuck with a few elements suggested by Anon. Thank you both for the request and the patience you’ve had with me through the long wait you had to endure. I wish I could’ve written this awesome idea sooner, but I still hope you haven’t lost faith in me and will actually get around to reading it and I hope I did your ideas justice. Please enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤
Disclaimer: This fic is not meant to be offensive neither to James Charles nor his fans. I have nothing against him, quite the contrary - it think he’s a swell person so please don’t hate me lol
“Babe, you up for a game of Among Us?“ Corpse’s head pokes into the living room, his eyes searching the open space for the figure of his girlfriend who slept over last night and is spending the weekend with him after they barely saw each other all week.
Y/N is laying on the couch, reading a book and so deep in her own thoughts she almost misses the deep voice calling to her from the doorway leading into the hall. Twisting her neck, she gets an upside down view of her boyfriend standing there with a hopeful smile on his face, causing her to giggle. “It’d be my pleasure! Who else is playing?”
Corpse, being slightly relieved, let’s the smile transform from hopeful into a pleased grin. Truth be told, it’s far from Y/N’s first time playing Among Us. She’s familiar with the gang and, being the youngest, she’s become the baby of the group all the members protect. A rather devilish baby considering her impostor skills rank about as high as Corpse’s. God help the lobby if they’re ever impostors together.  “Same as always. They’re really excited to have you in the lobby again. It’s been a while.“ He’s basically beaming at her, showing just how much he too has missed having her in the lobby despite her being an impostor he truly fears. He’d let her kill him any day.
“It sure has.“ She closes her book and sits up, reaching for the laptop and earbuds on the coffee table and placing them in her lap, “See ya on the spaceship!“ She winks at him, blowing him a kiss which he catches before sauntering down the hallway back to his recording room, the smile never leaving his face. Though he’d never admit it in order to avoid being referred to as ‘simp’ for the rest of his life, he finds Among Us a very different, more amusing and entertaining experience when Y/N’s with him. He’s afraid the day the two of them are impostors together he’ll have a cardiac arrest of happiness. Little does he know, she feels the same way.
Settling again in his desk chair, he finds that she has already hopped in both the call and the lobby and has already started chatting with...Bretman?
“It’s such a pleasure to meet you! You are literally my idol, oh my gosh!“ Y/N gushes with the excitement of a child. You see why she’s the baby of the group? Don’t get it mixed - baby in the best way possible.
The first time the group met her, the call was flooded by pure disbelief apart from the obvious joy to finally be meeting the person who’s made Corpse as happy he has been since him and Y/N have started dating. No one could believe those two were dating - ABSOLUTELY no one. Corpse and Y/N found it beyond amusing and got one hell of a kick out of it because his friends weren’t technically wrong - him and Y/N are polar opposites. He’s the dark colors of the spectrum, she’s the pastel palette. He’s the chains, she’s the ribbons. He’s the clouds, she’s the sunshine. Though, before meeting her, he wasn’t just a cloud - he was a raincloud. She put an end to most if not all his hurricanes.
Sunshine will do that to you.
“Oh please, him? What about me?“ That’s James’ voice Corpse is hearing and is caught rather confused. Neither him nor Bretman were there when he went AFK to get Y/N. But he soon notices the absence of Felix and Jack which makes the newcomers’ presence logical.
“Sorry, James, but I’ve never watched any of your stuff. I’m sure your content’s great though!“ She replies apologetically. Corpse can tell how sorry she feels despite it being not a big deal whatsoever - if she wasn’t such an honest person she’d lie and say she has indeed watched his videos.
“Uh-huh, sure. Whatever.“ The tone of James’ response is not as friendly as one would expect, but Corpse contemplates weather he’s just being his overprotective self as usual or if there’s really something to get concerned about. In favor of not starting drama without foundation, he goes on to brush it off as the topic is changed by Bretman who shows curiosity in his and Y/N’s relationship.
“Almost five months!“ Y/N says, answering Bretman’s question regarding the length of their relationship. “I can hardly believe it though!“
It really is hard to believe - for the both of them. Time just seems to fly by now that they’ve found each other as though it had slowed down just so they could come together. Five months have gone by with so many eventful days blurring together before creating a long reel for the two of them to go down whenever they are looking at the other unspotted. When they admire the other in secret, that’s the reel they play in their head. The five months of the cloud dancing with the sun, feeling the full warmth of its rays.
“Why?“ James pipes in out of nowhere, cutting in through the gushing of the rest of the lobby members, “Is it your longest relationship, Y/N?“
There’s that tone again, the one that makes Corpse narrow his eyes and clench his fists subconsciously. There’s still not much of a justification he could use for the anger buildup he’s currently feeling, though he can deny that it’s there - heavy in his chest, spreading all throughout his body like a wildfire.
“Um, no.“ Y/N’s previously cheery and lighthearted voice has flattened, turning into one laced with confusion and mild discomfort. “I’ve actually been in a long-term relationship before, ended almost a year ago.“
“Ooooh, love drama! Do tell!“ James says tauntingly, “What happened?“
Corpse knows the story she’s mentioned. He knows it’s not a heartbreak tale as much as it’s a coming of age story. Regardless, it’s not something everyone would feel comfortable sharing, not to mention James’ behavior is really ticking him off. However, Rae beats him to it when it comes to showing her irritation.
“You don’t have to, Y/N.“ Her words are spoken with a mix of softness and sternness, both emotions directed towards different people though. James probably doesn’t know that he’s basically messing with the little sister of everyone in this call minus Bretman and Corpse. If he was aware of this, one could only assume he wouldn’t actively be asking to have his ass whooped by seven people who are prepared to do anything for her. Or rather seventeen - Corpse is equal to the wrath of ten people is someone dares mess with the love of his life.
“No, no, it’s ok. It’s played a big role in who I am today so I never feel out of place telling it. In fact, I look back at it fondly.“ Y/N attempts to go back to her usual carefree self, “It’s not even drama, so you might not entertain you as you might hope, James.“
Corpse smirks the tiniest bit, catching onto that subtle jab Y/N takes at James. Nevertheless, he knows how sensitive she is and how easily people get to her, how easily she’s affected by someone else’s opinion and how she always tries to accommodate everyone, even sacrificing who she truly is. He’s determined not to let the taunting and the mocking get to her, but she seems to be handling it well thus far. He’s aware that though she might be the youngest, she can definitely be hella fierce and she by no means wants her battles fought by someone else.
James, who has basically painted a bullseye onto his forehead by this point gives a weak, mostly sarcastic chuckle in return, “Whatever.“
“Did you wake up and decide to be extra bitchy today or what?“ Bertman is a lot less into beating around bushes - if he has a message he hand-delivers it with a statement. James wishes he could.
“What?! No! Why’d you say that?!“ The accused plays the dumb card, reasonable enough - he may be a target for the entire lobby and their respective fanbases, but no one can technically prove what he said was meant with ill intention or in a mean context.
Thankfully, or sadly, depending on the standpoint, Rae who is the host of the game starts the round before Corpse could get involved or things could escalate. All the while, the chat of Corpse’s stream is flooded with angry comments directed towards James as well as concerned fans of his hoping Y/N isn’t upset over what nonsense he spewed. Corpse hasn’t said much, nothing at all really, he’s been too busy controlling his anger, reminding himself there are several cameras and mics on and hundreds of thousand of people watching in total - he could very easily land himself in a feud that would earn him a long lecture from Y/N, but not before he lectures James on how to be a decent human and keep his sarcasm away from the love of his life. If Corpse is containing his anger, his and Y/N’s fans most certainly aren’t. They are quick to point out how rude and inconsiderate is proving himself to be, going against the defenses so many of his fans attempt to use to fend off the hate he receives.
The third body of the round is reported, getting the remaining alive players on-edge, fearing their victory might be torn from their grasp. Corpse has been silently cursing the game algorithm for not allowing him the role of impostor the one time he’d sell his soul to have it and teach James a passive aggressive lesson.
“I still think it’s Y/N.“ Rae says straight off the bat, given she’s the one who reported the body.
“Wait, why?!“ Y/N gasps, feeling an obvious sense of betrayal, and by her own best friend of all people, “What proof do you have?“
“You were being really sus earlier in Electrical. And you were throwing blame around the first discussion. That’s all I’m gonna say.“ Rae replies teasingly as always.
Corpse can tell Y/N’s not the impostor - if she was she’d have to be very distracted because this is a very unlike her way to play the role. She’s a very tactical person and a skilled liar, one would be a fool to deem her harmless based solely on the childish games she plays, tricking people’s minds into falling in love with her. 
“I wasn’t!“ She whines, “You know I’d never! Guys, come on! You know me better than that!“
Corpse and Sykkuno murmur agreements with Poki’s coming a second later.
“Nah, she’s too smart to be slipping like that. I see right through you, baby. It ain’t her.“ Bretman joins Y/N’s defense team, causing her squeal gleefully.
“I honestly think it’s her.“ James says almost bitterly, “Either that or she’s just naturally immature. Sorry hun, nothing personal, but I don’t know which is worse - a bad impostor, or an immature adult.“ He lets out an awkward laugh as if it will take all the edge off his words, “If you need constant reassurance, dear, it ain’t ok. I’m surprised Corpse’s able to put up with it. Lord knows I wouldn’t be able to.“
“Ok, listen here.“ Corpse doesn’t waste any time in thought or debate this time, striking the irony while it’s as hot as it could be, “I don’t know what you have against my girlfriend, I don’t even know what you could have against the sweetest, kindest most amazing human you’ll ever meet, but I need you to put your sarcasm and bitching to a halt unless you want me and everyone else who feels super protective over Y/N, and trust me there’s many of us, coming after you. I’d like to see your fanbase try to protect you this time.” He barely even stops to take a breath before continuing, “Not to mention that I do know what messing around, you know: all in good fun, is. This is far from it. And I’m not too fond of whatever you’re trying to do here, but the only thing you’re managing is making yourself look like the biggest asshole on the face of the planet.“ 
No one dares speak or interrupt him, especially not now that he’s in the middle of his speech. James is probably hoping he’s at the end of it, HA - he’s just getting started. “I wonder how many things you’ve done for the people that care about you or the people you supposedly care about. I’d like to see anyone do at least half of what Y/N has done only for me, not to mention other people. Only then would they even be at a level to be able to compare to her, but not for me. You’re question can only be accurate if it was meant for her - how she puts up with someone like me? She’s so far out of my league, we’re practically different sports and yet she still loves me, cares for me and devotes me all her time with zero hesitation. I’d like to know if you’ve ever done one tenth of what she has. I’m genuinely curious, James.” With little to no air in his lungs Corpse is forced to take a brake and recharge on oxygen. However, before he could continue, his eyes scan the cafeteria where the avatars have gathered after the discussion apparently ended and he somehow didn’t notice. Among the standing avatars, there’s a dead body.
The dead body of James Charles.
“I think I’m allowed to fly under the radar for that one.“ Bretman, who’s standing the closest to the body says, his tone pretty pissed.
“We won’t tell if you won’t.“ Rae’s no less aggravated, “If you didn’t do it I would’ve.“
Y/N gasps, “I knew you were an impostor!“
It takes approximately two seconds for Rae’s survival instinct of a liar to kick in, “That’s not what I meant! I wanted to kick him. KICK, not KILL!”
Despite the game having seemingly continued, all Corpse can think about is the immense concern over the thoughts that are spiraling through Y/N’s head at the moment. He knows exactly what it looks like from her point of view. He knows how much James’ words stung cause she’s told him she has heard similar things before, all leaving a small scar on her confidence, a crack in the glass sculpture that is her self esteem. That’s why he doesn’t think twice about ditching the game in its entirety to go to the living room.
He stops dead in his tracks once he has a full and clear view of her but she’s still yet to notice his presence in the doorway. Her eyes are focused on the screen of her laptop, shoulders hunched slightly, brows furrowed in thought. She’s caught in the tornado of thoughts her mind is often times the victim of. The forced fake smile she gives him when she finally catches glimpse of him just confirms it further.
“Hey there. What ya doing here?“ She greets him softly, eyes shimmering in the afternoon light.
He shrugs, taking three long strides to get to the couch and plop down onto it, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her smaller frame to him, “Just checking in on how my world is doing. What are you up to?“
She giggles, her cheeks flushing red, “Oh you know, just calling out impostors left and right. As you do.“ She replies with a nonchalance faker than that smile she gave him. 
He plants a kiss on the top of her head, “I’d like someone else be such an adorable badass as you are.“
Y/N snuggles up closer to him, almost purring at the warmth he has surrounded her with, “I’m sure you’d find at least one more is you looked hard enough.”
Corpse shakes his head, “Maybe, but they’d still be lacking one important detail.” He makes a pause, causing her to turn her neck to give him a questioningly raised eyebrow before he continues, “They wouldn’t be you.”
She’d like to tell him so many things in return, express how much she appreciates all that he said about her and all he just said to her. She wants him to know that she feels the same about him - except for the ‘out of her league’ part, which she’ll have to lecture him on later. She wants to say oh so much with no words at all because in moments like these words refuse to come.
Luckily for the both of them, that’s what kisses are for - when words don’t come easy yet there’s so much to be said.
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kurakaji · 3 months ago
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been legally fighting to continue to be acknowledge as disabled since 2016, now. end of 2019 I finally had a hearing, had to represent myself in court, and I did good, I’d spent months learning the terminology I could and couldn't use, all the parts I need to talk about, etc. I was prepared.
now, over a year later, they tell me they were wrong- I was indeed disabled in 2016. Cool! Problem solved right? Naaah, apparently I’ve been fine since 2018! I wish I’d known that!
now there’s way too much dumb bullshit to type out, but its all so fucked. they used the fact that i fucking looked talked and acted normal as evidence I’m not actually THAT depressed. Bc I went in with plans and shit and didnt look like a mess or something idk. which just makes no sense. they’re saying I look normal so im not depressed. I didnt look disabled.
My answers to the questions asked in court were ignored for medical records. Well except the note directly from my doc that I felt was solid. which I guess they just forgot about lol. Fun fucking fact- Psychiatrists and therapists wont write a letter for you about your condition like my primary care did. 
so i couldnt get a letter from the people most qualified to give a professional statement about my MENTAL ILLNESS, but they did give barebones reccords that allowed them to literally ignore everything I said.
now idk if you know much about, say, paperwork in general, but if you’re working on the same forms all day for several people a day, copy/paste is the norm. copy last months notes, add any significant changes (steadily declining mental health wouldnt be documented, for instance) ad nauseum. for months. and months. see where I’m going with this?
they literlly just went off of the copy and pastes and ignored everything else. and they somehow managed to fuck that too. saying I dont have issues when im on a med for it (which they know) and it randomly kicks to 90bpm, but apparently it doesnt impact my life enough. sure. 
because what the fuck would i know about it, right? so silly of me, thinking my experience has anything to do with this if im disabled or not. apparently to them being mentally ill??? means you look weird? not sure, really. apparently they WANT me to look like shit and have trouble thinking. its not like i was IN. COURT. THAT I SPENT MONTHS PREPARING FOR. THINKING IF I SHOWED UP LOOKING LIKE SHIT IT WOULD BE HELD AGAINST ME.
AND HAS NO RELATION TO THE SEVERITY OF MY MENTAL ILLNESS
but dont worry, yall. apparently I can work 2 hours a day! didnt specify how many days, and we’re ignoring the fact that at the time of the hearing the lowest bar they had was 4 hours, not 2. lest we forget
1.The ability to work is not the only factor for disability
2. they will use evidence in bad faith
3. you need to “look disabled” to be disabled whatever the fuck that is
4. they view you as an unreliable narrator, even if you dont look disabled
5. they literally say my ability to work is severely limited (2hrs/day) due to my illnesses 
6. they want to kick us off into the world with no insurance and live off working 2hr/days
It’s sickening. This will probably take another year+ to resolve. its already been 5 years. I’m so fucking tired. Its fun to imagine how much better my mental health would’ve could be without the looming over my head. 
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theworldsoul · 3 months ago
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I've been very upset lately. The pressure is insane.
And it's not like I don't know math or understand the material, I actually know all the concepts and everything. The only issue is I make little mistakes, the tiniest little mistakes, I forgot about the exponent, I wrote it as negative instead of positive, I forgot the units, I have the wrong amount of sigdigs, I added instead of multiplying... simple things, small things.
This is because my brain doesn't function well with so many rules. It simply doesn't compute long lists of strict rules sorry babe. No joke, all my mistakes arent cos I dont know what I'm doing, they're because I forgot soemthing small.
Fuck this shit man I'm not meant to be doing this... like, the amount of stress this is causing me... and I just know that tommorow after I get a shit mark my parents will be angry... I was given one days notice about the exam??? I study for hours every day??? Idk what else you want me to do like I'm already ruining my mental health for this.
I've told them before that it felt like I was overworking myself and they said that's just somehting I have to get used to and that's honestly so fucking upsetting. Like I rly said "yeah this class is fucking me up" and they went "lol idc get used to it, it will be like this for the rest of your life. Also work harder ur marks suck."
Like bro??? I have cried more in the past day than I've ever cried in ONE DAY... probably like 7 times. That's not normal, I dont think. Either I have some sort of illness or this is too much. I think maybe I have soemthing wrong with ME. Everyone else seems to handle it fine, no one else cries like I do. No one else is constantly doubting their intelligence.
Maybe it's a memory issue??? Like, one day of class I legit raised my hand and solved a question without ever having seen that sort of question before just with Logic, but yesterday I panicked because I couldn't remember how to solve it, in fact I didn't remember it at all until I asked the teacher and she told me that I should know since I was the first to have a correct answer... its almost like my brain doesn't remember math. Maybe that's because it's not built to do math??? Not like that matters... if I want a house in the future I need to finish math with a good grade.
This is SHIT. I work so hard and still I'm unable to live up to the expectations... I'm given at least 30 questions to complete for homework (I get like 4ish hours to do them since I get home at 3, go to bed at 9 and eat supper around 5) and I only end up completing like 6 before i have to go to sleep.... its painful and it's sad and I DON'T BELONG HERE!!!!! I DON'T BELONG IN A FUCKING MATH CLASS, MUCH LESS A GRADE 11 LEVEL IB MATH PROGRAM THAT WAS ORIGINALLY A YEAR LONG COURSE CONDESNED TO FIT INTO THE SPAN OF ONE/TWO MONTHS!!!!
But I can't just... do something easier. I can't. It's not an option if I want a house when I'm older. It's not an option if I want my parents to not hate me. It's not an option if I want to make the teacher who called me "hardworking" and pulled the strings to get me here proud.
I feel guilty for thinking that my hard work and dedication and whatever could ever match the natural wit of the kids who sit next to me. I feel inferior to them as I struggle with a problem that they complete instantly. I feel like I'm worthless. And maybe I am. The MOST IMPORTANT AND MOST RESPECTED SUBJECT is the one I am the worst at. And the ones my parents and society in general dismiss as being useless or stupid are the ones I'm good at and I enjoy. If the things I CAN do aren't good enough, what good am I as a person? What do I serve to society as a person? ...NOTHING.
The pain I feel over this is literally tortuous, fuck, I can't handle it, it physically hurts and it feels like my body is too weak to handle all the pain. I'm not even fucking joking, this makes me miserable. It ALWAYS has. I was so stupid to think I could EVER be good enough. I was so stupid to think if I studied for hours on end I would magically become better at math. It doesn't work that way....
And I feel guilty for wanting to be loved an valued, because how can I expect that when I can't do anything to be deserving of that? I feel guilty for the fear of my parents reactions upon seeing whatever grade I get tommorow, because really, I deserve whatever punishment comes to me. Because really, I'm not worth even having a bed to sleep in if I can't do basic fucking math. I'm so stupid. I'm SO FUCKING STUPID.
I don't know if I'll make it. If I'll pass my classes and make it. If ill get grades good enough to get a job that will pay me Enough.
This is so scary... I hate how my future hinges on this... I'm 15 and whether I live in a house or on the streets is dependent on how good I am at math.
Fuck this it's so stressful I'm panicking and I honestly wish I wasnt even human at all... I wish I could be a bird or a dog or cat or whatever, an animal that is loved, an animal that is happy and free of this crushing. Pressure. An animal that just... no thoughts head empty only animal sounds. Or maybe a baby. It would be nice to be a baby or a small child who only has to know how to write their name and maybe count to ten. Oblivious and happy and cared about. Or maybe it would be best to just be nothing at all. Freed from the prison I've been condemned to live in. Nothing at all. I wish I could sleep and never wake up.
I want to be happy... fuck. I guess I am overdoing it. Something's wrong with me lately. Normal people don't have so many breakdowns in such short spans of time over such stupid bullshit. I think that maybe I've been treated too softly in the past and now that I actually have to work its come as a shock to me.
But that makes no sense. I'm able to work and I do work, a lot, it just isn't helping and my brain won't take it in properly.
When I wake up tommorow my eyes will be swollen from crying so much.
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dreamerandcrazy · 3 months ago
how high is the probability that soo-won is canonically gay? tbh it it would just make so much sense. soo-won loved yona but really he had eyes for hak since young... i just wish that in the eventual soohak reunion (kusa WHERE IS IT) that they'll acknowledge this fact somehow. that hak is still and forever will be soo-won's goal
Oh, anon, you have no idea how much feelings and ideas I have regarding SooHak, but when it comes to Soo Won’s sexuality, I am in the dark just as every other reader, because sadly we don’t have much insight/p.o.v. from Soo Won himself, and I think that’s on purpose and something Kusanagi is saving for later. However, he mentioned once that he didn’t feel love romantically, but he did like people, and Kusanagi also implied he wasn’t interested in romance during the high school omake, so there’s a chance he could maybe be asexual/aromantic? But he has blushed before whenever someone put him in the spot, like Yona in ch. 1, and when Lili threatened to say he was in a brothel, I think during Sei or Xing arc. So I think there’s a little bit of chance he could be, but the chances of him being asexual are definitely higher. But like you said, if Kusanagi decided to write in canon that Soo Won is gay period, it would also make sense, align with past moments that have made us raise our eyebrows, and it wouldn’t affect the story or his personality, except for other than giving us much needed insight on what goes inside Soo Won’s mind.
(I talk a lot about SooHak underneath, so I put it under a keep reading, lol).
It’s important to note that it’s very much canon that he still cares for/loves Hak and Yona, despite everything that’s happened. However, I do get the feeling that the love he has for Hak is slightly different from the love he has for Yona. It’s very interesting how since the start, Soo Won has kept his emotions in check around Yona and co., but like Zeno said, his face just looks more human around Hak. I guess maybe because Hak has always been the most normal part of it all for Soo Won, since they were kids, which is why I get the feeling that they were closer. They raised Gulfan together, they trusted each other more than anyone, and can read each other so well they were able to know what the other was thinking through a single look. The only time in the manga both of them were seen crying, truly crying over adult emotions, was because of each other. Soo Won wasn’t able to raise a sword to defend himself against Hak when they reunited in Nadai arc, but his hands automatically flew to his sword the moment he saw Hak in danger during the battle in Sei. It’s like a quote from a gifset I reblogged recently, “People change, but habits don’t”. Or even as Ik-Soo himself said, “some love cannot be discarded,” and I think that was as true for Yona then as it is for Soo Won and Hak. They both can try themselves their best to convince they no longer care for one another, and will be ok if the other dies, but we have seen that that’s not true.
Also it’s interesting, like you said, anon, sometimes I get the feeling that Hak is still Soo Won’s goal, but like in a dormant way. Soo Won seeks for the power of the humans, and nobody embodies that as much as Hak, in the story. We have seen since the start that Soo Won admired Hak, and wanted to be like him, so I feel like that feeling is still there. They both literally wanted to be on an equal footing just so they could walk side by side, and that is a powerful want, to have someone mean so much to you that you are motivated by them, which is why their dynamic is probably one of the most interesting for me, whether it’s platonic or romantic. But we shall see how it goes. Many fans have been theorizing that in the next chapter or 204, Soo Won might go to see Hak, and I think that’s something the story really needs right now. They have been avoiding each other for over 200 chapters now, and they’re getting to a point where they can no longer do that. I think Hak has come very far in the manga and is also in a point where he’s willing to listen to what Soo Won has to say; prior to this castle arc, people liked to say he was narrow-minded and refused to see meaning in Soo Won’s actions, but Hak only had the grasp of what he’d seen that night: that Soo Won killed Il and was willing to kill Yona as well, after presenting her with that hairpin. He had no idea about what happened to Yu-Hon, or any of what happened in the past, so from that point of view, Soo Won had usurped the throne and wanted to destroy the evidence of him (Yona seeing what happened). The fact that Soo Won also said “the Soo Won you knew never existed” definitely didn’t help Hak see his side, giving him the impression that their friendship had been a lie since the beginning. And thus, his heart shattered into a million pieces. And he had to live with that hurt and betrayal every day to himself, to the point where it was suffocating him and he broke down completely when he and Soo Won came face to face in Nadai. But like I said, he has come a long way since then, and now he has some idea of what happened and Soo Won’s real reasoning for killing Il, so their next conversation, which I pray happens soon, might come more easily, but that will also depend on what Soo Won will be willing to say. Let’s remind ourselves that Soo Won has expressed he is ready to live an unhappy life, and is not exactly desperate to explain himself to Yona and Hak nor ask for their forgiveness, even if his heart longs so much for his old friends. He’s that kind of character that doesn’t mind being seen as the bad guy so long as he can get the job done, which is one of the many layers of his character that we’ve seen over and over in the manga.
I am sorry this answer was so long, but like I said, I have a lot of feelings regarding SooHak and I really need them to talk it out soon. I’m sorry if something I expressed about Soo Won is not to your liking or to anyone else’s, but this is my point of view from what I could get from the manga. SooHak is the kind of relationship that works just as well for whatever it’s meant to be, but I have a feeling Kusanagi will leave us in the dark about that one and let us believe it is what we wanna believe it is. At first I was 50/50 about Soo Won dying, I still think it’s a possibility, but now it’s no longer one I necessarily would like to see happen. I want him to make things right with Yona and Hak before the manga ends, and beat this crimson illness. I think a fresh start is something he definitely needs for himself, he was robbed of his childhood when he was only 9 and was pushed into a role he didn’t exactly want, so I would like to see him come to terms with that and close that page, and begin living the life he wanted to live before all this.
Tl;dr; I think Soo Won might be asexual, but his feelings for Hak are definitely still an important part of his character arc that I believe we will see more of. But how Kusanagi will go about them, we can only wonder. Thank you so much for the ask, I really needed to let this all out lmao, and for anyone who disagrees with what I said, please just do me a favor and ignore this post because I really don’t wish to be part of discourse. Soo Won is a character that’s hard to read, and maybe my view of who he is can be different from someone else’s, so let’s be grown ups about it and just respect each other’s opinions and agree to disagree.
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hillarysss · 3 months ago
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MORE ASTROLOGY SHITPOST(SIDEREAL & TROPICAL) @hillarysss
this will not generalize with everyone if it doesn’t generalize with you don’t be offended this is knowledge i have stored in my pea brain. 
pisces sun tend to have pale skin or freckles lol idk ive noticed that i know its not the rising but i have noticed that pattern
sagittarius moons dont like being asked the same question twice. they heard you what makes you think they’ll change their answer?
gemini moons can not read a book or whatever the hell it is and bullshit the assignment and still get a straight A
having virgo in big three underevolved makes someone so argumentative and rude 
LIBRA MOONS ARE ON LITERALLY EVERY MEDIA APP I SWEAR THEY’RE EVERYWHERE? they also take a loving on astrology
earth signs like having random stuff as their profile picture (ex some dog or an anime picture)
pisces males like the stock market
i genuinely dont think gemini venus is the type to cheat they just get bored and will tell you and find someone else they love maybe rather quickly let them be hoes not cheaters
libra venus are so balanced when it comes to boundaries like damn u really out here providing a HEALTHY relationship. this can also be negative and can cause partners to walk ALL OVER THEM. open ur eyes sometimes will you
sag moon women are so pretty for no reason
why do taurus always have some cartoon profile picture or their favorite celebirity as their pfp
aries sun males will ask for nudes right away
we need more of taurus venus theyre so amazing
scorpio venus have a life and stop tracking ur partners location on life360 ok
cancer moons are such good friends but sometimes very inconsistent as well
pisces risings usually dont have a jaw and just have a cute fish looking face. they can look like a very gorgeous version of sid the sloth.
pisces risings are always forgotten
every libra rising i met was literally so short, wym tall?
scorpio moons are so stubborn for no reason
ketu in eight likes to serve in army. also gets a lot of surgeries in life or well want to sometimes nesssecary
cancer sun females blow up because of their beauty 
scorpio risings like when their friends are comfortable with the like a homey feeling and they like to let them vent :)
virgo moons never show off their achieves so humble
venus in libra vedic wise can show good sibling that u can look up to good influence
mercury in 12th with mars afflicted in vedic can indicate autism
gemini moons stop lying 
sag moons like to visit haunted places?? abandoned places? would probably love to do that with a loved one as well
jupiter big aspect moon in chart= bigger breasts
virgo placements like dogs
pisces and virgos arent that different
aquarius moons stop cheating on your significant other 
aquarius moons why do yall text back so late
virgo suns youre perfectly fine in your house, why do you think there is someone under your bed trying to kill you?
libra placements can indicate a nice bootey especially in personal. better if 2+ especially jupiter in Libra
cap risings have a pear shaped body
mars in scorpio why do you have sex with someone then regret it
libra placements have such bad self esteem
cancer venus needs to stop letting people walk all over them
Leo suns can lie a lot about themselves maybe in youth to impress people. probably liked to bring a big purse and flex
ive noticed a lot of leo suns have blonde hair with waves
Virgo males are so skinny 
Leo venus is literally the definition of loyal if loved and respected
Mars in cancer can be such bad friends 
Mars in Libra youre passive aggresive and you know this
venus in virgo some of yall can appear unlikeable to people at first but then people tend to like you a lot after they get to know u?? idk ive noticed a lo0t of venus in virgos tend to have people not like them at first
sag risings can be homewreckers 
aries venus stop being blinded by love once u actually love somebody
mars in virgo chill that assignment isnt due till 4 days from now
pisces males.. its never that deep
ive said it before and ill say it again.. WHY DO VIRGO MALES HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY IN ALMOST ANYTHING? we need to learn how to keep secrets
capricorn mooons are good parents lol they also probably only want like two kids probably only one
venus in 7th how does it feel to be perfect?
why have so many libras been in so many relationships either that or they are so picky who theyre with
aquarius risings you’re so weird and likeable but sometimes you can project insecurities onto others
neptune in 1st ppl are so beautfiul 
cancer moon males arent as comforting as the females, they tend to give you a hug but it seems they dont know what to say most of the time.
taurus sun males are good friends
taurus sun females can be super annoying and the teachers pet (only some tho the rest of you are heaven sent and such good figures)
taurus moons have browner skin or brown eyes
gemini risings may have a flat ass
literally pisces placements are made to counselours
gemini suns love videogames...?
aquarius venus probably will allow a lot of taboo in a relationship
libra risings are drop dead gorgeous but faces are very generic
virgo females are so smart lol
virgo males can be pretty good friends if theyre mature
why are sag mars so mean
libra moon men have hoes yes they do dont let them trick you
sun aries females are so bold and loving i love them
fire suns like having bratz as their profile picture or pictures where it shows a lot of glam or like expensive stuff
aquarius + leo in big three= good friends but if you judge them its over
mars in pisces just like to go with the flow
aquarius risings are inconsistent
leo risings usually have light eyes
cancer risings give such comforting vibe 
pisces moons and gemini moons is such a bad match
virgos are really funny
capricorns arent boring? but they do have a mature aura and people think its “boring” 
aries moons like to do weird faces
gemini risings are super pretty
your life might be saved if you just listened to a capricorn mercury
virgo mercuries can be seen as rude sometimes
sag moons are so brutal they will not lie to make u feel better?
water risings= cute
earth risings= beautiful
fire risings= hot
air risings= symmestrical & handsome
~
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bokutobaes · 4 months ago
Text
inarizaki boys when you have a bad day
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.
☆-with: atsumu, suna, kita
☆-!warnings!: swearing, parental issues, parents fighting, (there’s nothing physically violent), illness like the flu
☆-a/n: yall these are longgg LOL sorry
☆- author: lu <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.
☆ atsumu:
-his baby had a bad day :((
-just kidding he didn’t notice at first I’m so sorry nzjsjjsj
-your lockers are nearby so he’s usually waiting for you there first thing in the morning
-you woke up today with a headache and you were just really tired from studying last night :/
-you wanted to suck it up because it was your own fault for leaving the studying until the night before the test you had
-anyways, you were walking up to your locker lowkey trying to avoid eye contact with him
-“hi tsumu :)” u fricken liar with that fake smile
-“morning babe!” atsumu pulled u in for a back hug “i have to get to class kinda early for a test review so i’ll see you at lunch”
-and with that he was pecking your cheek and leaving
-“okay.. kind of good” you thought.. you didn’t wanna worry him or anything so you headed to you first class, math
-hell literally broke loose.. you forgot your pencil case and had to ask like 4 people until you got one which was embarrassing
-AND THEN the teacher called on you for an answer that you didn’t know like the universe
was against you or something
-“uhh... ummm i don’t know..” headass😩
-the class after that was slightly less dehumanizing but it was also japanese class.. the class you had a test in that you just barely studied for
-you did the test and lost braincells, blood sweat and tears LOL
-“okay class these will be graded by lunchtime so please come by to collect your scores before your next class”
-ogey :/ anyways u went to ur next class and before u knew it, it was lunch time.
-a text from atsumu made your phone vibrate while on your way to get your test scores
-“hey babe im actually gonna eat lunch with samu we’re practicing a bit at lunch”
-oh :) ok :) that’s fine :) not like u :) desperately:) need a hug :) right now :)
-“oh okay babe” you text back
-whatever u don’t need him independent queen
-that’s your mindset.. until you get those test scores
-it’s a literal fail .. did not pass the test.. ok..
-“y/n san, these test scores were not your usual best. I’m slightly disappointed, if there’s anything going on please let me know”
-“thank you sensei. i’ll do better next time.
-at this point you were just tying not to cry so you took your test and shouldered your bag and walked to a bench outside for some fresh air.
-right.. you didn’t bring lunch today
-so now you were hungry, tired, defeated, disappointed and lonely :,(
-the last class of your day went by quickly probably because you were zoned out the whole time
-the end of the day came and you were at your locker when your guardian texted you
-“Y/n, you had that test today right? I’m expecting to see the grade when your back home. Didn’t have time to make food tonight so find something to eat on your way home.”
-oh that test ? lol hahaha the one that you failed?! yeah that one haha lol lollll
-so with that, you started your walk home
-“y/n!!”
-fuck. atsumu.
-if you saw him now you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears and you really didn’t want to cry
-so your solution? pretend you didn’t hear him and walk faster lmfaokdhdh
-but atsumu, being.. well atsumu, decided to just full speed sprint towards you to put his shoulder around you
-“i literally know you heard me. i missed you today sorry about lun- why are you crying ?!!?”
-“bad day” you choked out before a shuddering gasp wracked your chest
-atsumu didn’t say anything he just wrapped you in a tight hug, petting you hair while you cried into his chest
-“its okay babe.. “ :(
-“you wanna come over? we can get food and cuddle”
-you nodded your head taking a shaky breath
-his hand reached out and wiped your tears, brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead like it was natural to him.
-and so you walked together hand in hand to atsumu’s house where you ate samu’s leftover onigiri and vented to atsumu about the day while you cuddled
-he also gave you a hoodie :,)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.
☆ suna:
-“living is a chore :|” you thought as the alarm rang through your room ruining your peaceful sleep
-it was raining outside and your mind went back to last night, the screaming match your parents had
-normally you’d be used to it but it felt like they were starting to take the anger they had for each other out on you now
-you tried not to but you started thinking about all the things your mom had yelled to you through the closed door of your bedroom
-“your just like your father. you’re selfish, lazy and all you do is run around with that little boyfriend of yours! what about your family?! you think your better then us? why don’t you move out then since your so good at being independent?!”
-everything she said was always completely blown out of proportion, she lied all the time. it’s exhausting for you
-you started getting ready for school, you wanted to see suna and your friends and laugh and just forget last night even happened
-when you got to school suna was there at your locker scrolling lazily through his phone
-you smiled, genuinely as he looked up and greeted you with a smirk
-“nice hair.”
-“wha-“ you started and then smacked his arm when you realized that your baby hairs were out of sorts “shutup” you scowled
-“good morning” suna hugged you
-“good morning”
-now you were off to class, it always went by too fast, you thought. school was always done in the blink of an eye
-“what’re you doing at lunch?” your friend tapped your shoulder and whispered to you
-“mmm nothing probably why?”
-“let’s eat on the roof today! yui told me there’s gonna be a rainbow cuz it stopped raining.”
-“okay” you smiled
-now at lunch with your friends you ate the bento you had packed before. the rainbow was there and it was beautiful
-you were having fun just laughing with your friends and texting suna while he sent terrible photos of atsumu. things were good, you had forgotten about your mom
-until the end of the day came and you had to go back home
-as usual suna was at his locker waiting so that you could walk home together
-after crossing the street you and suna were at a bike path, trees surrounding the fences
-it was a comfortable silence until...
-“what’s wrong?”
-suna asking took you by surprise, you didn’t think you were acting any different. were you?
-“what are you talking about”
-“you look sad, you did this morning too but then you were fine the rest of the day so I didn’t say anything. but, you look sad again now”
-“oh..”
-so suna just saw right through you
-“ um.. i’m okay.. it’s just ..” you laughed dryly “i don’t really want to go home”
-“did something happen?”
-“yeah.. my parents were fighting, it turned into this whole thing.” you felt a lump in your throat start to form “i don’t really wanna talk about it”
-“okay. you should just come over then, right?”
-“can i?”
-“you literally don’t even have to ask me anymore y/n” suna grabbed your hand and led the way
-when you got there suna hopped on his couch and started putting on something from netflix
-“my parents aren’t home, my sister has a dance thing today” he grabbed a blanket and you sat down, putting your head in his lap
-suna put on a comedy show, of course he would
-he played with your hair while you watched and after an episode or two, he asked
-“do you want to talk about it now?”
-and so you did, you told him what happened last night and what your mom said. your plan was to not cry but that failed miserably
-suna listened intently, he told you the truth, he said that what she said wasn’t true, he told you you could sleepover whenever you needed to.
-kissed you and wrapped you back in the blanket
-“i love you, you know that right? always.”
-he always knew what to say and you loved him for that
-“i love you too, suna”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.
☆ kita:
-kita knew, first thing he noticed when he saw you that you weren’t okay
-you woke up with a terrible headache, aching body and stomachache
-so this is it? this is hell? ok.
-but the test.. you had a test today. fortunately you had actually studied for weeks because you knew it was important
-mentally? you were ready for that test. physically? you had the spanish influenza
-so you weighed the options and decided you would go to school, take the test and then come back home after.
-the problem with that was that kita would in fact lecture you on all the reasons you should not have come to school
-he was right of course, but you still decided that you would need to avoid him for today
-spoiler alert it did not work
-your test was your third class of the day so you only had to get through 2 classes and you’d leave at lunch perfectly avoiding kita
-this was what you thought while you were at your locker until you closed it and walked directly into kitas chest
-“wow”
-“good morning y/n-chan”
-“morning kita! i have to go or I’ll be late!”
-you ran😭 and you almost got away too but kita grabbed your arm and pulled you to one side of the hallway
-he felt your forehead and both cheeks
-“you have a fever y/n”
-“no I don’t I’m just hot from walking to school”
-he said 😐
-you signed and rested your head on his chest letting your arms dangle
-“why did you come? you look sick”
-“thanks. I have a test.”
-“how do you feel?”
-you told him your symptoms but also that you were leaving right after the test and you could pull through
-he really didn’t want you to overwork yourself but he knew you were set on taking the test
-so he let you go and he made you promise to text him between classes and let him know if you felt any worse
-and off you went
-honestly, you were fine up until halfway through your second class.. then you started feeling really cold and tired even kind of nauseous
-then in the third class your test was put onto your desk and before you knew it your teacher was saying “begin”
-okay. you can do this you thought to yourself. the test was easy enough with how much you studied, you thought about every answer and you tried to finish quick
-but then it was like time cut itself in half and the bell for lunch was ringing
-you weren’t even done the test yet
-“y/n you can stay in here until your done but i expect you to have it finished soon”
-one question left
-you don’t even remember what you ended up putting before you were up and giving the paper to your teacher
-kita was right there when you left the classroom
-“hey ..hey.. y/n”
-you could barely hear him you just flopped into his arms
-“okay I’m taking you home.. “
-“but..”
-“shh let’s go”
-you don’t remember getting there but then you were in your bed smothered in pillows and blankets
-kita came in
-“what time is it?”
-he looked at his phone “half past 4”
-“4?!” you jolted up “did you even go back to school?” “kita?!”
-he smiled at you “no but it’s okay y/n it was only one day. i wanted to take care of you
-you noticed he had a steaming cup of something in his hands
-“what’s that” you asked
-“its tea, but it’s special tea :)”
-“what do you mean” you laughed
-“my grandma showed me how to make it, it’s gonna make you feel a lot better”
-he’s so cute...
-“kita... you didn’t have to do all this”
-“i wanted to” he sits beside you and hands you the tea
-literally tasted like heaven
-“mmmmm oh my god”
-kita laughed and kissed you on the cheek before joining you in the bed
-you cuddled and watched movies on your laptop until you fell asleep, comfortable in your boyfriends arms
188 notes · View notes
surveys-at-your-service · 4 months ago
Text
Survey #294
“maybe it’s not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate”
Is your bed big enough for two people? Yes. What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think one stay at the psych hospital stretched over two weeks, maybe three. I don't remember. When was the last time you heard someone scream? Irl, probably at some point visiting my sister's family and my baby niece was upset. If you include via audio, a couple days ago when watching Egoraptor's Kingdom Hearts 2 stream. He's a Loud Boy. Who was the last person to call you baby? I have no clue. Why did you last go to the airport? I was going home from Sara's. Have you ever showered with another person? Not since I was a little kid with my sister. Is there something you are keeping a secret from your parents? I mean, nothing major. There are small things I don't tell them, though. Are you able to forget people easily? FUCK to the NO. What disgusts you about bathrooms? Sharing a toilet with literally anybody. Have you ever had gum stuck in your hair? I mean maybe at some point, but I don't think so. What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? If you’ve never been in a relationship before, do you watch Scrubs? I knew Jason maybe two/three weeks before he asked me out. We clicked so damn fast. Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? It can become a bit much. I have (had?) a friend who did this profusely to the point it was pretty impossible to have an actual conversation, and then she fell off the face of the planet. Being in love is an absolutely amazing thing, but like... that's not all you can talk about. Do you enjoy old movies? Yeah, there are some great ones. Do your neighbors annoy you in any way? Someone a few houses down has a dog that NEVER shuts the fuck up. I don't know how it doesn't lose its voice. What was the last party you were invited to? A Halloween party hosted by my friend Summer a few years ago. It was a good time. Are you honestly happy with your life right now? N O P E Do you find it fun to pray for people? I don't pray, but even if I did, "fun" seems like the wrong word. Generally when you pray for someone, there's something negative going on in their life, so like... I think "fulfilling" is maybe a better word? Has your mom ever crocheted you a blanket? My mom has deadass been working on a massive blanket since she was in her 20s (maybe even a tad younger), and she's at the tail end of her 50s. She works on it less than once in a blue moon. She started with the intention of passing it onto her kids. Do you regret letting a certain guy slip away? Debatable. It's questionable if I ever would have gotten competent help without Jason leaving, and if I didn't, what if he finally had enough when we were already married with kids (that's what I wanted at the time, anyway)? That would have broken me even worse. What show did you want to be on as a kid? Whatever the Nickelodeon one was where you got slimed lol. Do you have regrets? Of course I do. Does anyone really know you? My mom and Sara, at least. What song do you want played at your wedding? It depends on my partner and songs we consider special. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? No. I do, however, love me some "Love Story." And you are LYYYYYYINNNNNGGGG if "Picture To Burn" doesn't make you feel like a Bad Bitch. Would you ever dye your hair unicorn colors? I would DIIIIIEEEEE to do that in pastel tints. I wish my damn hair took color well... I have literally only had ONE very effective hair dyeing experience, when my friend spent hours turning it red. It stuck for MONTHS. List 3 of your pet peeves. 1.) Turning tragedy into a competition; 2.) making mental illnesses "trendy;" and 3.) elitists of pretty much anything. Do you type fast? Very. What do you like to put on your pancakes? Typically just maple syrup, but I'll put butter on them if given it at a restaurant. Have you ever accidentally drank spoiled milk? I've taken a sip and immediately realized and spat it out. Have you ever had your heart broken? More like shattered into incalcuable pieces. When you were 3, was your natural hair color the same as it is now? No, I was dirty blonde. Have you ever received a scary message from someone online? Yes, I'm pretty sure. What does your first name rhyme with? "Infamy" is close enough, ig, if we're excluding other names. Do you have freckles on your face? No. I did as a kid, though. Who is your favorite Lisa Frank character? Probably the angel kitty (I had a coloring book, even), but they're all SO pretty. I love Lisa Frank stuff. Does your family always have your back? My mom and dad do, at least. My older sister does, meanwhile it's hard to tell with my little sister. She's not very affectionate and expressive of love to the point I question a lot if she even likes me. What type of wedding do you want to have? Gothic! Are you more of a leader or a follower? A follower, within reason. I'm definitely not a blind one. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Quite a few, actually. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, at some point. Do you have a regular vacation spot, or do you always go somewhere new? We don't really go on vacations. It's not an expense Mom can really afford. Where were you working 10 years ago? Nowhere. ... 5 years ago? Still nowhere. ... 1 year ago? Nowhere. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like a day. I know it sounds bad, but I left Girt already knowing I loved Sara, and I didn't really have anything to heal from. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? We'd have Saltines, chicken noodle soup (which I never really liked), and ginger ale. What's your favorite art style? Probably hyperrealistic fantasy stuff. What time period is considered to be your country's 'golden age?' I don't know, I'm not a history buff. Have you ever done LSD? I've never done any drugs. Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? N/A What is your favorite parody movie? Maybe the Paranormal Activity one. I barely remember it, though. What kind of first impression do you hope others have of you? That I'm kind and friendly and really care about their feelings. Do you have a good sense of balance? NOOOOOOOOOO. I stray like a motherfucker when I walk. Have for many years. It's weird. What is your least favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry, ugh. Does your car have heated seats? No. What's something that has been in your local news lately? I don't watch it. What's your favorite internet meme? Oh, I have no clue, I love memes lmao. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing, really. I'm not very adventurous with pizza. Can you name any books or movies where all the main characters die? Not off the top of my head. Do you live alone? No, I live with my mother. What’s the grossest thing you’ve encountered in/at a fast food joint? *shrug* Do you swallow chewing gum? No. Do you ever get goosebumps while listening to songs? EXTREMELY easily. Like that is so, so regular, be it from the lyrics, the singer's voice, or just the music. Are there any amusement park rides you refuse to go on? Why? Most, really. I get dizzy way, way too easily and don't want to faint. What is the best roller coaster you’ve ever been on? I'm afraid of roller coasters, so I can't answer this. Never touched one. Don’t you think black jellybeans are icky? Ugh, YES. What was the last thing you measured with a ruler? I helped Mom use the long, flexible kind to measure the couch because she was gonna move some furniture around. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen? Oh, I'm sure the mountains when driving to Tennessee. I was too young to remember it well, but I can never forget that I marveled over them. Would you rather have a Playstation or Xbox made console? I'm a Playstation gal. What if you were watching COPS and saw your significant other on there? I'm... not gonna lie, if it was Jason for doing something stupid and not, like, murderous, I'd probably cackle. Have you ever tried to write to any celebrities? No. When was the last time you blew bubbles? I ain't got a clue. Have you ever stumbled across a beehive? More like wasp nests. What food(s) make you cringe? Quite a lot, given my extreme selectiveness with textures. More than anything, probably egg yolk. Have you ever played an automated 20 Questions game and beat it? Ha, I actually had one of those! I have, but damn was that hard. Have you been to a restaurant where they cook the food in front of you? Yup, Ichiban. Pretty cool. Do you feel that presidential campaigns make people too competitive? I mean, no. People care about who is going to be the head of their country. Do you find Family Guy hilarious or offensive? Neither. Do you still write letters to people, even though there’s e-mail now? No. Have you ever had an accident involving a microwave? Ha, I'm a travesty of a cook, so yeah. I remember on one occasion I accidentally dialed in many minutes for popcorn and entirely forgot about it. Safe to say I didn't eat it. I've split hot dogs in there, and I'm certain there's more. Do you like the movie Forrest Gump? I adore that movie. One of the best films ever imo. Can you handle heat well? I honestly doubt you'll meet someone who handles it worse than me, especially physically. I have severe hyperhidrosis, so I will literally sweat like a pig in 70* weather. I absolutely cannot handle it. Do you smoke weed? What are your opinions on its legalization? No. Legalize it for at least medicinal purposes. Have you ever had a school shooting at your school? HA, I can promise you my high school must have at some point. Are you usually the first to do something, or are you more of a follower? I don't pay attention to this. What is your favorite way to eat a potato? Fries, yum. Are roses your favorite flower? No, but they're high on the list. Have you ever been to a horse race? No. I think they're abusive anyway. Do you like lobster? No. Have you ever swam in a lake? Yeah. There's one lake I swam in that was so clear you could see pretty far and just watch the fish and turtles. Have you ever convinced someone to show you their private parts? "Convinced"????? That's fucking coercion. I've seen people naked, but not by fucking pressure. What is the greatest treasure you have ever found? My older sister found a cracked amethyst geode once. Idk where it's at now, but I hope she (or we at the house, depending on where it is) finds it at some point, though. My niece has come to love smooth rocks and pebbles, and I think crystals would blow her away, never mind one that size. Do you eat beef? Regrettably. Are you good at card games? I mean, what's the game? I'm not exceptional at any I can think of. What is your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. Did you ever play the Oregon Trail game? Omg yes!!! I LOVED playing it as a kid, especially the 3rd one, I think? Do you watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia? No. Who is your favorite country singer? I actually do enjoy Tim McGraw pretty consistently, but I don't actually seek out his music. Do you know anyone who is Mormon? An old best friend was. Do you like grunge? Yeah. What’s your favorite kind of cheese? American. What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Most likely Covid. What’s your funniest story involving a car? It's not hilarious, but once we were behind someone whose license plate said "omw" lmao. What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? Well, a proven Covid vaccine. Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? Nope. What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Idk. What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? I'm not sure. What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? Having to explain my Mark tribute tattoo lmao. What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, and while it was great, "interesting" seems like the wrong word. Where are you not welcome anymore? Probably Jason's house, at least not by him. Or Colleen's, probably. Idk how she feels about me by now. What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Paying bills. What’s the smartest thing you’ve seen an animal do? I kid you not, our first cat would look both ways twice before crossing the street across our house. (Please do not allow your cats outside.) She'd do it even more when bringing her kittens there too to hunt. Chance was truly incredible. I could really give a lot of examples of her intelligence. I also had another childhood cat (my favorite before Roman) who would respond to a certain clap pattern I'd do if Mom let me bring him inside. Wherever Charcoal was wandering, he'd come running. What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Oh, I'm sure it was RP-related stuff as a kid. What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? I'unno. What’s the saddest scene in a movie or TV series? Possible spoiler warning for a super old movie??? Probably when the main character of Old Yeller had to put the dog down because of rabies. But I cry like a bitch easily, so maybe there's something that tears me up even more or just as badly. What odd smell do you really enjoy? None that are "odd," really. What’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? I've seen a mink once when fishing with Dad deep in the woods. What’s the best lesson you’ve learned from a work of fiction? Oh, I don't know. I'd have to think for a while & I don't feel like it. What food do you crave most often? Probably ice cream. Who in your life has the best/worst luck? I don't know about best, but my mom absolutely has the worst luck. Which apocalyptic dystopia do you think is most likely? A meteor, maybe? If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I'd want to know if they were criminals or just dangerous. What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen a kid do? Oh, my niece is so funny. One of the things that gave me the biggest laugh (and was most adorable) was this time I was taking family pictures for Ash at a local lake, and Aubree went running into the gazebo, span around totally like in a princess movie, and exclaimed, "It's enormous!" She is such a darling. If people could read your mind, what would they usually find? Just how bored I am, memories of Jason bc trauma, lamenting my disappointment in myself, "why is Mark so perfect," worrying about Sara, thinking of RP character developments... What celebrity would you like to meet? Mark. 100%. I would die to just thank him (if I could get words out, oof) and hug him and try not to soak his shirt in tears lmao. Do you need money to be happy? Don't bullshit me, you wouldn't be happy homeless because you can't afford a home. So to a degree, yes. What's a good idea you've had recently? Hm. What gift would you like to receive? At this current moment, Cloak's (Mark and Jacksepticeye's clothing brand) limited edition "life after death" design for a shirt. It is so fucking pretty, and I love the nature focus. What are you most excited about right now? Honestly? Getting my laptop back. I wanna play WoW lmao. What's your favorite song from a movie? Maybe uhhhhhh was "Supermassive Black Hole" actually written for Twilight? Where would you like to volunteer? I very, very badly want to volunteer to take pictures of animals up for adoption in shelters for like their social medias and stuff. I've asked like the two local places, but no bites yet. What's the last song you listened to? Metallica's cover of "Turn The Page." What's the last YouTube video you watched? I'm watching Gab Smolders play SOMA. Fantastic game.
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shadowtriad · 5 months ago
If you don't mind me asking why do you like eramis so much in particular? I love your fic but also I have absolutely no idea what kind of role she plays in the games or anything lol
god this is an excellent question. unfortunately answering it requires a BIG don't reblog tag on it though because i may as well be up front to ppl about why i talk about her so much.
first it was because i just thought her design was insanely cool. then we saw her in action in a trailer and i was OBSESSED with her mo-cap and voice acting from just a 20 second clip (seriously her animation is so nuanced and beautiful, it's the best in the series next to all of forsaken's cutscenes imo). we got a little info on her and i was like wow! My wife! and that's when i decided i wanted to borrow and develop her, just in case bungie dropped the ball and didn't develop her properly. that's how Blind Fury got started.
then beyond light released and we learned her motives properly (read: all my homies hate the traveler / let's make our own species great again). i've always been sympathetic to the Eliksni because they are LITERALLY just what humanity could and would have become if the roles were flipped (as in the traveler (big golf ball in the sky) left humanity and went to the Eliksni). eramis makes points that are NOT incorrect in the slightest apart from when two of her council are killed by the player and she goes off her rocker a little. i love her passion and absolute certainty in what she's doing and has done in the past, this is someone who is so unapologetically dedicated to her beliefs, and they're beliefs that make total sense.
then her LORE came out alongside that and it got weirdly personal lmao. ill keep it real with you and everyone else reading this - i'm dealing with my dad being very suddenly diagnosed with terminal, incurable cancer. there is basically nothing we can do except watch it get worse until he dies, short of a god given miracle coming along and making him better. we were told he has six months if he's lucky (later changed to 18-24 months if all goes well, but it's still an unknowns really). it is Incredibly Frightening.
eramis is not dissimilar...in a sense? the whirlwind (apocalyptic event that made the traveler leave the Eliksni homeworld) came about very suddenly and put her world upside down. she lost close family, like kids, her mate, all her friends. her entire way of life changed overnight. and that's when I just GOT IT. i understood 100% where she was and is coming from and why she did all the shit she did and ended up in the position she was in by the time beyond light happens. i got the anger, the constant feeling of injustice, the grief, the passion, everything (apart from the killing and the theft and the genocide and the whatever else she's inevitably done in her long life, that i can't identify with lmao). it was like oh my god, you poor fucking woman. you didn't deserve any of this
i also struggle a lot with feelings of pent up rage. so she comes along with all the above baggage and being one big ball of anger and it's like Ah! Ma'am I Would Simply Die For You. We Are Enmeshed Now. writing Blind Fury and developing her character was like the PERFECT means of escapism and projecting all the feelings i couldn't cope with (bearing in mind my therapist went MIA the same day the trailer dropped) on to a character who feels similar ways i do, both ideologically about the Eliksni and on more emotional and mental terms personally.
with all the above said. honestly though i am just a Thot for Eliksni who could kill me and who look ridiculously cool. but that's not the DRIVING reason why i like her, it just happens to be a bonus. the main reason is Same Hat.jpg
TL;DR - Eramis looks cool, acts cool, has a backstory which i deeply identify with, and i'm using her as an outlet to cope with my life going haywire.
im so sorry you probably didn't expect this very personal story of why i adore this fictional 9ft tall alien. i do not control the coping mechanism / hyperfixation shsbsksn
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dialovers-translations · 5 months ago
Text
DIABOLIK LOVERS VERSUS Ⅱ Vol.2 Shuu VS Reiji [Track 2]
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Original title: 月蝕下の決闘
Source: Diabolik Lovers VERSUS II Vol. 2 Shuu VS Reiji [CD not owned by me]
Audio: Here
Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke & Katsuyuki Konishi
Translator’s note: That cliffhanger left me with so many questions??? The boys are definitely acting a bit ‘out of it’ because of the lunar ecilpse, although that does make it interesting as well. The sword fight gave me a lot of war flashbackse to Shuu’s Brute Ending in HDB but thankfully, this one did not have such a tragic outcome. I liked the roasting between the two of them though. You can really feel the tension just from their voices. xD Reiji is so skilled at taunting others as well geez. I like to believe that I don’t lose my cool too quickly but that guy could probably make me rage like there’s no tomorrow if he pushes the right buttons lol. 
Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 ll Track 6
Track 2: Showdown Under the Lunar Eclipse
Shuu: Pwaah...Nn...
*Crack crack*
Reiji: You...Shuu. When did you get here?
Shuu: Haah...? I’ve been here the whole time though? I’m surprised you - out of all people - hadn’t picked up on my presence. Well, guess I’ll just blame it on the lunar eclipse.
Reiji: I am beyond appalled. You were napping here?
Shuu: The scenery’s nice here. It’s a perfect resting spot. ...Then, I dozed off at some point. I only just now realized the two of you had come here. Therefore...I haven’t heard or seen anything really. 
Haah...Guess I’ll go somewhere else and sleep some more. Maybe someplace where I don’t have to see that eerie moon. 
Shuu tries to leave.
Reiji: Hold it! Where are you going!
Shuu: ...Is that any of your business?
Reiji: It is not. Usually I would simply ignore you, however...This may be the moon’s fault as well, but I brought you to a halt.
Shuu: The moon’s fault, huh? Well, in that case...I guess the same could be said about me. I’m actually reacting to your command after all.
Reiji: ...! ...Exactly. You’ve always been like that.
Shuu: ...Hm?
Reiji: I...always found myself frustrated at that exact habit of yours, puzzled by how the two of us could be so vastly different despite sharing the same blood.
Reiji turns towards you.
Reiji: Say...You wonder the same thing, don’t you? Whether me and Shuu are actually brothers? 
Shuu: Haah...Buzz off. Who gives a damn? I’m not interested. ...I’m going. If you want to do some of your petty ‘investigation’ that badly, why not go and press the Old Man for an answer or something?
Reiji: You truly are hopeless. Always running away like that. From everything. ...Even though there might be something you hold precious, but rather than taking notice of it, you pretend it was never there in the first place. ...Do you truly believe that you can get away thinking that you had nothing to begin with? Like that violin gifted to you by our Father.
Shuu comes to a halt.
Shuu: ...
Reiji: However, right here is one thing which you will never be able to retrieve once lost. 
Reiji pulls you close.
*Rustle*
Shuu: What are you getting at?
Reiji: Fufu...
Shuu: I’m asking what you mean. 
Reiji: Do you not understand? You pretend to be oh-so knowledgeable, when in reality, you keep on either losing or being robbed of everything dear to you. I simply wish to state that I loathe how you keep that composed expression, pretending to ‘know-it-all’ despite everything. 
Shuu: You’re the one...who is responsible for that, no?
Reiji: So you’ll blame someone else? Hmph. You do have a point. I might have taken away something precious to you. However, I seem to recall that you acted as if you did not care afterwards. Even though deep inside, you should have despised me so strongly, to the point of wanting to kill me. 
*Rustle* 
Reiji: ...Have you not realized that you are about to repeat the exact same mistake right now?
Shuu: What do you mean?
Reiji: I am trying to take what is precious to you right here, right now. ...Yet, you are still putting up your facede and trying to overlook that. 
You try and get in between their conflict.
Reiji: What is the matter? You stay silent. ...No complaints!
You frown.
Reiji: ...If you get on my nerves too much, I shall punish you. ...Hmph. 
*Rustle* 
Shuu: So she’s supposed to be this ‘precious someone’ you’re talking about...?
Reiji: Please do not try and deny it by this point. It is clear as day. Well...Personally, I do not have the slightest intention of handing her over to you without a fight.
Shuu: ...Hah. Good grief...Honestly, you should just understand that I’m trying to numb my own emotions on purpose...Also, that woman over there as well. You won’t succeed at taking her away from me at this point. I’ve made sure she can no longer live without me after all. 
Reiji: ...! 
Shuu: Even if I were to leave her in your care right now, she would eventually come back to me. ...Well, whatever. If you insist on settling the score and deciding who she belongs to tonight, I shall take you up on your offer. 
Shuu draws a sword.
*Cling*
Reiji: You are challenging me to a sword fight? 
Shuu: There just so happens to be a collection of Father’s favorite swords over here after all. If I lose, I’ll back off. I won’t get involved with anything beyond that point, sounds good. That’s the best way to settle the score, don’t you think?
Reiji: Very well. ...As you wish.
Reiji steps closer.
Shuu: ...And if you were to lose, don’t you dare meddle with my affairs from here on out. ...Oi. That goes for you too. Don’t you dare approach the Four-Eyes again.
You protest. 
Shuu: Annoying. Nothing will change no matter how much you cry about. Understand that already. 
You try and change their minds.
Shuu: I don’t care if I’m being stirred up by the lunar eclipse. Honestly, if it wasn’t for that, this situation would keep dragging on forever. 
Reiji: ...Exactly. We would simply keep this back-and-forth going while bearing ill feelings towards the other. ...I dare argue that it is in both out best interests if we fight to the death already and settle the score. 
*Rustle* 
Reiji: ...And as if on cue, the moon just so happens to be eaten away at right now.
Reiji draws a sword as well.
*Cling*
Shuu: Haah...What a drag. Let’s get started already.
*Cling*
Reiji: Fufu...Well, well...I have to be thankful to the lunar eclipse...
Shuu and Reiji get into position to start their sword fight.
Shuu: I wonder how long it has been since we both engaged in a sword fight like this?
Reiji: Hmph. Long, long ago. I am surprised you are such a sentimental Vampire to bring up tales from the past right now. 
Shuu: You were always frustrated because you couldn’t win against me, weren’t you?
Reiji: I wonder how things will go right now? The circumstances are different now that there’s no longer a physical gap between us.
Shuu: ...
*Cling cling*
*CLASH*
Reiji: Hah...!
Shuu: ...! Not bad...
Reiji: It be highly troubling if you believed I am still my old self...Hah!
*Cling*
Shuu: I guess quite some time has passed, huh? 
*Cling cling*
*Clash*
Shuu: ...Haah...
*Cling cling*
*CLASH*
Reiji: Answer me without trying to evade the question.
Shuu: ...On what?
Reiji: Do you have any intention of handing her over to me? Am I right to assume that you only care about her that much?
Shuu: ...
Reiji: No response. In short...
Shuu: ...I told you earlier as well, right? I don’t have to, nor do I intend to give her to you. I’m sure she knows better than anyone who she belongs to? 
Reiji: Very well...In short, you are alluding to that, right? I am satisfied to have finally heard your true feelings. (1) That is exactly what I have been waiting for this whole time after all. 
Reiji throws his sword onto the floor.
*Cling*
Shuu: What’s wrong? There hasn’t been a winner declared yet. 
Reiji: I admit defeat.
Shuu: Haah...? Are you joking with me? 
Reiji: Hah. I thought you knew better than anyone that I am not that kind of person? 
Shuu also drops his sword.
*Cling*
Shuu: Heavy...
Reiji: Hmph. ...I shall take my leave now.
Reiji leaves.  
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー
Translation notes
(1) 本音 or ‘honne’ (literally: true sound) is a very important concept within Japanese society which refers to how someone actually feels about the situation. It is tradtionally meant to be kept to oneself, unless one’s ‘honne’ is actually socially acceptable. If not, one must put up a facade and instead do the things or speak the words which are expected of them, which is referred to as ‘tatemae’ instead. 
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marble-writes · 5 months ago
Can you do a scenario in the yokai au where risotto returns home after being away for a few days and he notices that prosciutto isnt there. “Pesci where is prosciutto?” He asks. “Oh! Fra went to the hospital he-“ risotto tunes out everything else pesci says when he heard the word hospital. Prosciutto is sick!? He’s hurt!? What kind of a lover is he not being able to protect prosciutto!? So risotto runs out of the house in a frenzy all the way to the hospital thinking of the worst possible things that could have happened to prosciutto. But when he finally gets to the hospital, out of breath and exhausted, it turns out prosciutto was just there to get a flu shot lmao
Foxy boi freaks out!
Risotto the Kitsune was out for a few days doing Kitsune business. He returns to Prosciutto’s home with a basketful of European goods, he’s sure Prosciutto misses his homeland’s food.
“Prosciutto~!” Risotto calls as he slides open the door, “I have tomatoes! And apples! And French bread! And... these weird twisty noodles!” Risotto is referring to rotini.
Prosciutto doesn’t not answer. Risotto steps inside to see Pesci sitting by the fire, brewing tea. “Pesci, where is Prosciutto?”
The half-kappa squeaks out, “Oh! He went to the hospital—” but before Pesci can explain, Risotto has dropped the basket, transformed into his giant Fox self, and raced out of the house.
Risotto has never ran faster in his life. What happened to Prosciutto!? Did he fall ill again? If it were a cold or a fever he’d stay home— oh no! He probably got something bad! Tuberculosis!? The plague!?
Risotto skids into the hospital in his entire Kitsune glory, his tails nearly knocking down the paper doors and folding screens. “WHERE IS PROSCIUTTO!?” He yaps at the nurses in a panic.
It’s not every day a nine-tailed fox runs into a hospital demanding to see someone. The nurses scream and also panic as much as Risotto is, running away from the fiery yokai because what the hell else are you supposed to do!?!?
Risotto stops yapping when he smells Prosciutto’s familiar scent. He perks his ears and turns his head, seeing Prosciutto standing in front of a waiting room. “R-Risotto!?”
Risotto bounds for Prosciutto, rubbing his body and tails around the blond like an affectionate, silky, living scarf. “You’re alive! And well! You don’t look any paler!” Then Risotto notices a bandage on Prosciutto’s arm, “D-Did you come here just for a scratch?”
“No! There’s this new thing called vaccines and supposedly it strengthens your immune system by introducing weakened pathogens or bacterias... or something like that,” Prosciutto explains, “It came from Europe and they’re just giving them out here.”
Risotto tilts his head. “The FUCK is a pathogens and bacterias!?”
“I don’t know, tiny bugs!?”
“They’re putting BUGS inside of you!?”
Prosciutto rolls his eyes. He pushes Risotto off and mounts the Kitsune’s back. “Whatever! It’s fine! Let’s go home.”
The nurses stare in awe as the white man casually rides away on a mythical Yokai. Literally. What the hell?
Disclaimer: Vaccines were not brought to Japan until the 1840’s, and it would be an additional 100 years until the flu shot is invented. Also this is an AU where shit happens lol
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galaxae · 6 months ago
3, 7 and 18 for as many as you can answer; btw do you still have an ocs page? like with introductions and all that
wow this took forever oops!
tysm for the ask!! i’ve been meaning to make a carrd or something with oc intros, but i have so goddamn many ocs and so little time now that i’m in college and all that. and i have the code saved from my old pages before i remade, but those are kind of outdated and incomplete
that being said i’m probably gonna end up making that carrd regardless of how busy i am cause special interest indulgence and all that, so i’ll post about it when i do
anyway! i’m putting the actual oc answers under a readmore because i’m gonna try to do all the ocs i listed and it’ll be kinda long lol
3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?
how does one even describe voices... ok here goes
avani: she’s my character for a ttrpg campaign, so her voice sounds basically like mine (which might not help much cause you don’t know how i talk lol), but when i’m talking as her i pitch my voice up a bit and make it a bit more nasally. she’s not much of a singer, nor can she whistle, but she can roll her r’s pretty well. also, since she’s autistic and hard of hearing, her tone of voice often comes off the "wrong” way
farhan: he’s another ttrpg character i play lol, or at least he will be next semester, so his voice is again kind of like mine. but when i talk as him i pitch my voice down and it’s a bit hoarse. ig his voice would also be more “masculine” than mine but whatever. he can sing and whistle but has a pretty small vocal range (since he’s, like, 13 right now and will be 16 when i rp him next semester)
carter: i imagine his voice as low and on the quiet and raspy end, with a tiny bit of a lisp. he’s way too insecure to try to sing or even whistle or anything like that, though if he practiced at it he’d probably get pretty good
calira: she’s mute so n/a i guess. but she talks pretty formally in her dialect of elvish sign language, which is definitely unusual
sam: they have kind of a low voice that’s also raspy, but with quite a bit of pep and variation in their tone. they can even sing pretty well and they like to whistle constantly while working. that creates some kind of whiplash cause sam comes off as a typical edgy teen a lot of the time
jizoriel: high-pitched with lots of voice cracks, peak pretentious preteen/early teen jerkass. he can’t really sing or do anything similar, nor does he want to very much
victoria: so quiet and raspy that you can barely make out that it’s low and has a soothing and pleasant tone to it. she can sing well, or at least she could once upon a time
rowan: just! the happiest and most cheerful voice you can imagine! so much love behind how she talks! her voice fills up her whole head and the whole room!! and she whistles sometimes while she walks
ace: defies any masculine or feminine labels, smooth and cool in theory but they stutter quite a bit
charity: gruff but with a hint of cheer and clarity behind it that comes out when she’s startled. she loves to sing but can’t whistle and can’t roll her r’s either
jamal: i actually have a voiceclaim for him! it’s this (the voice that sings from 1:51 to 1:58)
kimberly: her voice is a bit high and a bit... idk how to say it exactly... i guess shrill would be the word?
fabián: his voice seems higher-pitched than it actually is cause he talks higher when he’s anxious, and he’s always anxious. it’s a bit hard to describe his voice otherwise tbh. i can hear it in my head but i can’t quite put it to paper oops. oh yeah also he has a great singing voice but never uses it sooo
7. What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?
this question opens up a wormhole cause i have playlists for many of these guys but instead i’ll just provide one (1) song for each and vaguely describe their music taste, how does that sound
avani: honestly “mr. capgras encounters a secondhand vanity” by will wood is a “her” song to me. her music taste leans a lot more toward older music though (like some classics from the 70s and 80s and such)
farhan: he’s still very new so i haven’t really found a song for him yet. but i know he absolutely loves peppy and energetic pop music and also sappy gay love songs
carter: (slaps my hand away when i try to type another will wood song) “fantasy island” by the shins always launches me into daydreams about him. which kinda roughly aligns with his music taste, he listens to a lot of those “mainstream indie” artists. he’d also listen to will wood because he’s gay and mentally ill <3
calira: one of my favorite songs on her playlist is “maximillian von spee” by dirt poor robins. but the music she listens to is basically all invigorating church-loving stuff with medieval-era instruments lmao
sam: “sometimes” by nick lutsko is an absolute bop and very much a sam song. sam actually doesn’t go out of their way to listen to music though, but when they do they listen to either the most soothing and relaxing stuff or to the angriest metal emo music. no in between
jizoriel: i’ll go the less emo angle here and say a song that reminds me of him is “upside down” by jack johnson. jizoriel’s music taste is like. old choir music and shit plus incomprehensible magical music that doesn’t even sound like music. if he was from earth he’d like my chemical romance
victoria and rowan: i’m grouping these two together here because a song that reminds me very strongly of both of them/their relationship is “human” by dodie. which actually fits very well into both of their music tastes!
ace: again, going the less edgy angle here, “auntie earth” by walter mitty and his makeshift orchestra. but ace mostly listens to uh, classical flute music and flute covers
charity: absolutely “dance and cry” by mother mother, that’s pretty much her theme song. it’s among her favorite songs in canon too
jamal: “tire swing” by los elk, since his arc is about letting go of childhood and all that jazz. he’s more inclined to listen to fun. and other pop artists and rappers and such. he likes janelle monae
kimberly: “best tears” by the happy fits for sure. in terms of her music taste though, her taste is pretty similar to jamal’s. they bond over being janelle monae fans
fabián: by god does “heal” by so much light fit him. his taste is that he rotates through three (3) specific obscure indie artists lmao, so theoretically i guess that specific song is included in there
18. How does your oc see themself? How does this compare to the way other ocs see them?
i am gonna do my best to keep these short cause this is a loaded question for all of them hoo boy
avani: how she sees herself: honestly the worst person alive. unless she spends every moment of her time trying to make up for what she’s done, she’s worthless, and she doesn’t deserve to love herself in any capacity how others see her: her brother (farhan) really looks up to her! most of the time. the superhero team she’s on (other people’s ocs) all think she’s generally smart and capable enough, and her boyfriend in particular thinks she’s incredible
farhan: how he sees himself: as of right now? a misunderstood emo middle schooler who’s still kind of cool i guess how others see him: his sister (avani) thinks he’s quite an impressive and charismatic young man
carter:  how he sees himself: 1/10 awkward and annoying how others see him: carter reminds calira too much of her old self, so she love-hates him. sam thinks he’s weak and cowardly but admires his kindness. and jizoriel clings to him as a caring father figure and loves carter’s passion for natural studies
calira: how she sees herself: it goes back and forth between “i’m the greatest chosen one ever im such a strong warrior” and “wow i’m literal trash why did the gods pick me for this” how others see her: carter is a bit intimidated by her but appreciates her attempts to vibe with him, sam thinks she’s an annoying pretentious self-important bitch (but their opinion softens over time), and jizoriel sees right through her facade and feels comfortable around her because of it
sam:  how they see themself: evil and in need of redemption, kind of similar to avani ig but with 10x more confidence in their skills and also much more violent how others see them: carter knows theyre doing their best even if theyre kind of an asshole, calira is a fan of their strength and determination, and jizoriel Hates Their Guts (at first) because they baby him too much
jizoriel: how he sees himself: a fucking fraud of a prince. all he has going for him is his abilities as a mage, but even then those are shaky how others see him: carter knows he’s very insecure and wants to comfort him, calira admires his magical prowess and noble air, and sam thinks he’s a snarky little pretentious douchebag but also he reminds them of their late brother and they want to protect him at all costs
victoria: how she sees herself: basically dead. only good for interacting with ghosts. not worthy of the human world or of friendship how others see her: she reminds rowan of her old self. rowan sees a glimmer of love and hope in her and wants to bring it out
rowan: how she sees herself: a fucking mess but she’s trying her best and that’s what counts! how others see her: victoria very much appreciates her cheerful air even if she doesn’t act like it
ace: how they see themself: way too weird to be human, way too weak not to be. their self-image changes constantly. theyre very confused about everything please help how others see them: charity is literally dating them lol she thinks theyre the cutest person alive, jamal appreciates how hard they try as a friend, kimberly thinks theyre an alien invader whom she can study and use to get further in life, and fabián knows more about ace than anyone else and loves them for it
charity: how she sees herself: a Teenager who’s struggling. she desperately wants to be young without the burden of her trauma but whether she thinks of herself as emo and sad and angry or not depends a lot on her mood how others see her: ace adores everything about her, jamal loves how cool and fun and sociable she can be, kimberly is annoyed with her rebelliousness, and fabián worries very much for her well-being and can’t shake the image of her as helpless (oops that’s gonna cause some drama)
jamal: how he sees himself: just a chill guy trying to get by. unremarkable. how others see him: ace is grateful for how forgiving he can be but is still terrified of him being angry over [spoilers], charity loves how sociable and fun he is and how protective he can be of his friends, kimberly secretly envies his carefree nature, and fabián sees him as a solid acquaintance to whom he did not give a good first impression
kimberly: how she sees herself: not good! if she can’t grow up fast and do science well then she’s useless how others see her: ace wants to be friends with her but doesn’t know how to do that, charity is annoyed by her rule-bound-ness, jamal thinks she’s cool but should unwind a little, and fabián resents her at first but would still like to play chess with her sometime
fabián: how he sees himself: he has a moral responsibility to help people Or Else. way too anxious and stuck up but he doesn’t know how to change that how others see him: ace fuckin Loves this guy, charity loves him too but she gets pissed when he tries to help her with anything, jamal genuinely thinks he’s a great guy and wants to get to know him better, and kimberly is actually impressed by him and envies his apparent confidence and charisma
ok ok that’s it i promise. sorry this is so long and tysm for reading if you made it this far!! feel free to ask more oc questions literally whenever, that goes for anyone reading this <3
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strawberryspeachy · 6 months ago
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K. I know alt stands for ASSITANT language teacher
But 2 things. 1) assitants fucking DO THINGS
2) the way they sell this job is like youre a teacher.
Constantly in this job i am treated like a clown.
And im gonna tag this and im probably gonna receive the same comments i get irl from rose tinted glassed ‘japanese people can do no wrong’ people
Thus far ive worked in 4 junior highs and 3 elementarys
Most of the teachers no matter where they are just seem so incompetent
Its no big deal that the teachers arent fluent in english - isnt that literally why alts are here??? So why don’t they ever take advice?!???
Im so fucking sick of being told how to speak my fucking language.
And not the ‘speak slower’ ‘speak simpler’ thats fine and ill accept criticism on my ability to communicate to people learning english as a second language. Not that.
Grammar, pronunciation, sentence structure - and what sounds natural
I hate the videos that are made for classrooms. And the fucking books
“A native speaker wrote it” - k no. Having worked here i know exactly how that went down. A japanese person wrote it, then went to either a business kiss ass ‘japan can do no wrong’ person. Or. Bullied someone into saying it was good by doing that annoying ass thing japanese people do
Where they ask the question over and over with “ok?” At the end. Cause they dont want an answer - they just wanna be told that theyre right or to do whatever they want. And they do not plan on receiving any answer besides “youre correct”
Its awkward cause ive literally been annoyed at my friend in the past for complaining about having a job where she does nothing and gets paid. Now i feel bad because i HATE going to work to sit and do nothing. But honestly - it has more to do with the fact that of all of my schools - only 1 has given me a nice place to sit.
Not a table that they store junk on and pretend to be surprised by me everytime im there like “oops sorry theres all this stuff (but like youre not a real person and we hate that youre here so just be happy we tolerate your existance and tell is your happy to have giant things all over your desk literally sticking in your face)”
Not the extra desk behind the printer that blows dust in my face as it goes off every 20 seconds
Not the desk under the aircon blowing on me/ in the corner next to the coldest window/door
Not a literal broken chair
Not a desk in the path of the class files where teachers have to constantly get to the spot directly behind me
And i was also that person thatd say ‘well if you dont like it - quit - theres plenty of people who WANT that job’
But like it fucking sucks. Cause i have experienced REALLY good teachers who actually team teach with you. I have had one school where i worked full time and got to see my students more than once a month - hence being able to actually get to know them and want them get better. I have been at a school with wonderful staff who welcome me into the school like im an actual person - not like ‘oh is today already the day we let the rat in the school to make the children smile again. Ugh.’
It fucking sucks. I linger on the hope of being able to work at a good school with good teachers full time
I cant find a better job because im a ‘beginner’ and corona
And im stuck getting treated like shit
I AM NOT a kiss ass. Never have been. It kills me to have to work with people who dont want me around
Most of the teachers i work with ARE NEVER PREPARED like wtf why??? Why dont you EVER plan ahead??? When im not prepared its because i have to wait to get instruction from you - you get to chose what you do
And they do basically nothing (not all like ive said ive worked with good teachers)
But most just
Read the book OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. The students memorize the book passages - they have no clue about the context and if you ask them the same exact question but with a different subject like “do you have any shoes” instead of “do you have any bags” theyre lost. The teacher can get them to answer by saying the exact phrase from the book - but they dont know what theyre saying or how theyre actually answering. They just have it memorized
Then some teachers will have “conversation practice” where they take those exact sentences out if the book - put them together to form an awkward ‘conversation’ and then the students just read it.
Ooohhh look at them. Having a conversation!
Play fucking bingo.... why? They dont even make the students repeat the words for pronunciation practice - why the fuck do you play bingo everyday
Sing songs. UGHHHHH yea that could be fun if these 60 year old teachers would stop forcing shit from the 1940s on the teenage students. I cant decide if music too old for 30 year olds is worse or teachers who take japanese songs that have been translated into english is - lol you fucking hate english so much you cant find ONE english song to sing??? WHY are you teaching english?! - god forbid you let the students choose
Teachers who just give the students the day date and weather....??????????? Cool. Youve managed to ensure they cant come up with the simplest of fucking English questions on their own. Do you carry around those cards to look like you do a lot at your job when you dont? Oh yea probably
Because being in a school watching teachers is the way i learned that japan values looking busy over being productive. If you look stressed and busy all day - you are better than a person who got shit done but looked relaxed.
Why do you use the recordings when i am in the class?????????????????????????????????? THATS LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON YOU APPARENTLY HAVE ME THERE
K and like i said. I have worked with good teachers. In their classes the students are better at english (hur hur funny how that works) those teachers encourage the students to talk with me. Those teachers let the students try to come up with answers and questions on their own. Those students try and ask the teacher when they dont know how to say something to help with translation.
The shit teachers on the other hand - will jump in and stop a student who looks excited to try and trying to figure out how to say something. What does this teach them? Dont try. Just stay silent - the japanese teacher will just talk in japanese again soon - no need to try.
Jumping off that. Students who are good at english or go to juku - will dumb themselves down in classes with shitty teachers. Theyve learned its not good to know more or even nearly as much english as the teacher - pretend you dont understand. Pretends you don’t know how to say things - itll make my stupid teacher feel good. So. If i try to talk or do anything in those classes, even the students who understand will stop trying.
Speaking of just going back to japanese. WHY IS MOST OF ENGLISH CLASS IN JAPNESE???? Most of the teahers will jump at ANY chance to switch back over into japanese. English is just sprinkled into the class. Then they pretend to wonder why the students dont try and why theyre bad at english
And things ive been told in the last year
Dont ever be upset about anything ever
Lol yea just that for one
K but dont ever be upset about teachers doing ANYTHING because theyre just so GOSH DARN BUSYYYYYYYYY
Lol like intially i thought that was why ASSISTANT was in my title. I THOUGHT we were supposed to make them less busy by helping out with planning and grading and blah blah
Nope cause
‘Oh offer to help them! BUT dont be upset when they decline because theyd have to explain to you ANYTHING and.....’
So. Im a child?! I cant be trusted to do anything without proper instruction
Well yea exactly cause
“Oh! Hes probably your babysister haha! Japanese people are so nice! They usually have one teacher look out for you and help you with stuff - besides the head teacher- lol theyre kinda like your babysitter!<3”
K. So like. I need a bachelors degree for this job. Let me say again I NEEDED A COLLEGE DEGREE FOR THIS JOB. i had to move ACCROSS THE WORLD by myself. I have to ge able to fill out federal documents and find a house and pay my bills and follow foregn laws and figure out my way in a foregn country - but i need a BABYSITTER at work?!?!?!?? If im a minute late ill be docked an hours pay. If i do ANYTHING that slightly upsets ANYONE and japanese ppl are offended by EVERYTHING - i am liable for all reprucussions. But. I need a BABYSITTER.
Cant be trusted to be in a class alone (dont be offended its because your not a certified teacher) that would make sense except that YALL THROW ALTS IN WITH THE SPECIAL NEEDS STUDENTS ALL THE TIME - thats supposed to be an EXTRA certification on top of teaching. but Im too fucking stupid and untrustable to do anything with regular students alone, but because you dont like dealing with spefial needs - i can teach them alone.
You dont actually read their hw or check for correctness and most of their tests are just for fun it seems - but i cant be trusted to grade those either
You do the exact same lesson everyday and i only see each class once a month - but dont let me create any activity or lesson for them. Also dont tell me your plans until class is starting and then change it throughout the class and act surprised when idk what the fuck youre doing because you changed your mind while talking at them in japanese
Speaking of changing. I hate teachers who constantly change how they do shit. And again. Get annoyed at me when i cant follow their flow. Do i say hello first or do you? Are we even saying hello today? Am i asking how they are or are you? Are we letting them answer? Are we answering? Whose asking the day date and weather? Are we asking them for the day date and weather?? Whose saying goodbye? Are we saying goodbye? Which bingo version have you chosen today? Are they repeating the words? Yes? No? Am i saying each one twice? Do i have to spell out the fucking word today? Fast? Slow? What hell are you putting me through today
And when they ask me to take charge of an activity. But then change their mind. But then no no you go ahead please take charge. K no just kidding ill tell you and them what to do. Actually no you can keep going please be in control. K no too much english i wanna hear more japanese ill be in control - hey everyone thank the alt for doing that activity with you (me and the students look at each other visibly confused)
These teachers will ask me a question and no matter how i answer its wrong. I always answer shortly initially because... of course. But theyll tell me to GO ON!!! theyll keep doing that. So ill start answering questions with substance - then theyll cut me off - so i go back to answering shortly but NO! CONTINUE!!! im constantly caught confused exactly what they want me to say and now i barely ever tell stories to the students. I stare at the jte the whole time trying to guage by their face if i should keep talking or make it short. Its also awkward cause sometimes they jump in to translate and other times they want me to just keep talking in english with no translation. Regardless whatever way i choose is never correct and they always look at me like im an idiot
Yesterday a teacher did one of the things inhate that prompted this I WANNA WRITE ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE THIS JOB
Hes a sub. Hes supposed to do the same lessson as the other teachers. He is NEVER prepared. And he does everything bad. So when he didnt have the stuff for the activity he said he wants the students to have conversations with me. GREAT! thats what im here for! Lets do it. So then he shows them videos he has of other students talking with an alt at another school for 5 minutes. Um.... k. Then we open the book to a page of 3 example convo starters. Except. Japanese teachers dont seem to understand that the book is meant to be EXAMPLES. he says ah like this but maybe change. Good ok! I think were on the right track. Lets read these examples and get to it. Nope. He has them have the example sentences with their partner saying its good practice.
No. Its not. Theyre just reading the book and then when they finish saying
“Do you know any good restaurants around here?”
“Yes i do! Theres a curry place over there”
“oh i love curry!”
Theyre not gonna make up more at the ......
Theyre just gonna talk in japanese about other shit.
Then he says ok lets have conversations. Finally
Nope.
He has the class repeat after him together as a unit to me “do you know any good restaurants around here?”
GFFEIWBAKDHWNDGDIEBS RAGEEEE
I said ive had convos in class before may i try like before
He feigns confusion
I ask a student “what kind of food do you like?”
She says sushi
“What kind of sushi”
The students in this class were excitable and chimed in each time.
This time (as usual because they dont know the fish names in english) She begins talking with the kids around her trying to figure out what the english word is for the sushi she likes
But the teacher jumps in and shuts it all down
Because the students are just way too shy to talk in front of the class. Their english is too bad. They cant.
Its extra aggrivating because the teachers at this school range from good to decent - except him. That was a second year class. The last time i was at this school the first years had a introduction 1 on 1 test - with me. And i was to ask them a question at the end. With the other 3 teachers when i asked the question if they didnt understand. I would try saying it in another way. If they still didnt understand - i would answer my question as an example. If they still didnt understand i would give them answers like
“What tv do you like” “do you like anime?” Wait for yes or no “do you like youtube” wait for yes or no (and so on)
If they still didnt understand (very few got here) the japnese teacher would translate the question)
And. If they still didnt understand. We would give them an answer and coax them into repeating after us.
If they didnt. Then they didnt get the point for answering the question.
This teacher. Him being the 4th teacher to do this test with me. Would IMMEDIATELY translate the question if the student didnt answer quickly after me asking it once and then talk to them in japanese and tell me their answer or make one up to me with something like “oh ahah they dont know when yet. So he doesnt know. Maybe he ate breakfast before school!” And then would shoo the student away and call in the next.
^^^ and this is how most teachers are
They sit during class. They play unrelated videos. They spend half the class acting like theyre too confused about their plan to even teach the class (but if i try to do ANYTHING like talk to a student while they sit in front of the class rummaging through their folder going “うーん」 「じゃ」「じゃあー」「そして」「それから」「えーとー」 theyll instruct SOMETHING or play some recording over and over) have i mentioned how they never seem to want to talk in english or listen to students talk in english in english class?? Most of the time theyre just having aside conversations about nonsense in japanese. They read everything themselves despite me being there - in a way where they really just wannt hear themselves talk in english.
Just in general. I hate when teachers talk about me in front of me and dont tell me what the fuck theyre saying. And it’s annoying when students ask them stuff in japanese about me and then the students look at me waiting for me to respond/the teacher to translate their question- but the jte doesnt translate. Or they ask a question that im not in charge of the answer for so even though i understood the question they asked the jte i cant answer them because its not my decision and the jte doesnt wanna look like the asshole that gives them an answer they dont like so they just dont respond so that i look like the dick whose ignoring the students
They do this with regular questions too. Sometimes i hear the whole question and understand. So when the students look to me and the jte goes silent - i answer - then the jte gets all out of sorts because 1) they wanted me to look like an asshole who doesnt wanna talk to the students 2) they deemed the questions not important and didnt want it answered 3)ew! The alt knows more japanese than i thought and she knows what im doing and thats a little embarrassing also what else have i said in front of her today that she might have understand - awkward 4) oh no if students know she understands some japanese they might ask her stuff and i wont be the only means of the alt and students communicating 5) that awk silence just showed the students that i didnt plan to translate something to her and i wanted to blame her and say she doesnt wanna answer that but now i was made a liar of
These arent personal queations btw. For example a student asked why does the guy in one peice eat a lollypop in the america version instead of smoke a cigarette?
This is an incomplete liste. Just. Honestly being an ALT is draining.
I feel like im at a restaurant again just waisting my life away waiting tables.
I actually really like english so being forced to listen to people who are supposed to teach it - purposely teach it wrong and force me to use it incorrectly hurts
I hate watching people suck at their jobs....and be rewarded for sucking at their job
I hate feeling like an outsider in my workplace.
I wanna feel like a real teacher.... not a clown
I hate doing something where nothing i say, do, or feel matters.
That last one. I hate that i can be treated like shit in my workplace AND get in trouble for not thanking people FOR treating me like shit. Not just take it. Take it with a smile!!!
I try to focus on the good things... but its just so damn hard cause ther far and few between and honestly i just wanna feel like im actually an educator to my students and like i can actually be a teacher with the ones who like me and come talk to me and stuff. But its not like i have have a teacher student relationship with them - i cant be part of their school activities. I cant go to their school events. I wont be at the school with them for more than a year.
Even at good schools when the teachers like that you talk with the students - i always feel this vibe of ‘keep it superficial’ dont become an adult they would trust. Its like you can feel them watching - ready to jump in when they think the student should stop petting the stray before they get fleas
I have a lot of teachers i remember fondly. Who id talk to when i saw them even when i didnt have their class anymore. Id tell kids in grades below me that they were lucky if they got them. When i hear about things happening at the school after i leave im happy to hear they got something good. Teachers who helped me understand something better or were just nice to the obvious loser in the class or made me laugh
I wanna be one of them....
Not the police man that came into school a couple times. Or the guy with the birds. Or the nice lunch lady who let you take food when you didnt have money and pay it back the next day.
I wanna be a teacher with a name.
Or at least. Do one of the only things im actually good at
So this job is unfulfilling
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eldritchsurveys · 7 months ago
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994.
01 — Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? >> Not often. Well, I assume not. Sometimes I wake up feeling like I’m being crushed by melancholy, but I don’t know if that’s because of a dream I can’t remember or if it’s just something that happens when I wake up sometimes.
02 — Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones? When do you typically listen to them? >> The podcast I usually listen to when I’m in the mood to listen to a podcast (read: not often) is Welcome to Night Vale.
03 — Have you ever used exercise as a way of controlling/releasing your emotions? >> No, I’m not sure that works for me. Or I don’t know how to get it to work for me. Mostly I just don’t enjoy exercise, so, you know. (I imagine hiking would be nice for emotional processing, but idk about just... walking around on the sidewalk, which is all I have immediate access to.)
04 — How do you define “beauty,” and to what extent does it matter to you? Do you think that beauty is something that is actually attainable? Do you actively strive to be beautiful, and to what lengths do/would you go to attain beauty? >> I don’t really think about beauty enough to have opinions about it. I tend to be uncomplicated about that -- I like looking at some things and I don’t like looking at other things, and that’s really all there is to it. What other people think is beautiful is their business. I’m not interested in being considered beautiful by random people or anything.
05 — How do you keep track of your finances? >> The bank’s mobile app? I don’t really have enough finances to warrant a dedicated tracking method. I pretty much know where all my money goes because it can only go but so many places.
06 — Do you remember the very first time you came across surveys or the Xanga survey-taking community? How long after that did you take your first survey or start your own account? >> That was almost 15 years ago, so, no, I don’t remember the first time.
07 — Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? >> I’m having to approach identity and self-conceptualisation in a different way, and while it’s hard, I think ultimately that experience will be of great benefit to me. I don’t know what other positive things that I can think of are a direct result of living with trauma-brain -- for example, is my desire to be compassionate a result of having suffered at the hands and minds of so many callous people, or is it just a natural feature of my personality that has somehow endured said suffering? You know? Where does me end and the trauma-brain begin, that sort of thing.
08 — What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? >> I find celebrity culture/worship to be a little off-putting. I do realise that a lot of the people I encounter who are entrenched in disturbingly intimate parasocial relationships are probably just young people who will eventually grow out of it, so there’s that... but, you know, not always. Also, even so, the social culture doesn’t really do much to discourage it -- we have shit like TMZ and paparazzi and tabloids, and I’m sure the direct access that people have to celebrities (through Twitter, Youtube commenting, etc) doesn’t really help in boundary-forming. Frankly, it’s just an endemic problem, how we treat performing artists and personalities, and I wish they could just be treated like people.
09 — Do you enjoy livetweeting? If so, what sorts of things do you livetweet about? >> I don’t use twitter. I do sometimes post on tumblr as I’m doing something, like I’ve posted FFXIV thoughts while playing FFXIV. I’d forget what I wanted to say if I waited until I was finished, lol.
10 — What are some expectations you had about your education or career, and how do they compare to the reality? >> I didn’t have any expectations. Other people had them for me, and of course I failed those expectations.
11 — If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? >> I’m not sure.
12 — Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? >> I don’t enjoy shopping for clothes at all.
13 — Do you consider yourself an insecure person? What things are you most insecure about? >> I never thought about it. I guess I am insecure about certain things, yeah -- that’s just not usually the word I use because it’s inexact. 
14 — How concerned are you about your internet privacy? What sort of information do you avoid giving out online that others may readily offer up? What do you think of the argument that “I don’t care if [government organization] surveils me because I’ve got nothing to hide"? >> I’m not terribly concerned about it. I try to be careful about how I use the internet, what I say where, that sort of thing, but I don’t obsess over it. I think that argument is flawed, and plenty of people have explained why (it’s also used as an argument against being afraid of the police, and is equally flawed there).
15 — Is there someone in your life who always seems to be looking for your sympathy/pity? How do/would you deal with someone like that? >> No. I think my reaction to that would be to grey-rock them; I don’t like being manipulated into giving sympathy. If you really feel like you need something in particular from me, please learn to ask for it directly. It might feel weird, but it’ll have a much higher possibility of success than the passive methods.
16 — Do you tag posts for trigger/content warnings? Does it bother you when people don’t do so? >> Not unless I know I have a follower who is triggered by specific things and has asked for content warnings as a result. I’m not a mind-reader and I can’t be responsible for literally everyone who comes across my content. Once again, ask for what you want (and understand that the answer might not always be in your favour, particularly if you’re a stranger to me). I’m just some random blogger, you can just unfollow or block me if necessary.
17 — Do you have any projects that you’ve been thinking of starting for a while but haven’t gotten around to? Are there any ideas for projects that you have that you don’t think you’ll ever get around to? >> Nope.
18 — Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? >> Nah, that’s never been a fear of mine. While I’m big about crediting artists and will do image searches to find and put in the source of uncredited art before I reblog it, stuff like that, I don’t really care if someone tries to steal my work. Especially since my work is writing -- you can only get so far in stealing writing, after all. Like, good luck.
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okaymackay · 7 months ago
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covid complications
requested: Yes/No
word count: 5.2K
the on going pandemic creates challenges for you and your boyfriends’ relationship--for better or for worse
so sorry, this is long over due! so instead of just meeting the parents i decided to make it a quarantine like thing so basically you move in to live w him, his parents, and daisy during the pandemic ! i also made it general instead of an asian reader so i hope that's okay with you, @effervescentparker
honestly i feel like quarantine w/george could turn into a mini series but who knows lol — 2020, a new year and a new decade. there simply wasn't a better way to start this chapter in your life. you, like most people, planned out your goals and all of the things you wanted to do for the year. the excitement of getting to them and completing them was absolutely exhilarating. you weren't going to let your worst enemy, procrastination, hurt your chances. as far as you knew, nothing was going to come in your way.
that was, until the virus.
the spread of covid-19 happened faster than any country had expected. quickly, there were shutdowns and quarantine put everything on hold. it was scary at first because it seemed like the entire world stopped (literally).
your boyfriend and well known actor george mackay was in the process of starting the production of another film when all of this happened. he came home since it had stopped and you felt bad as you knew this was something he was really looking forward to from the way he talked about it.
to make things worse, the two of you are separated from each other. it's mainly because of work and the fact that the two of you don't live together. both of you had gotten adjusted to it, but you definitely wouldn't of minded being with him during this time.
being as you couldn't see each other, you two try to video chat as much as possible. it is hard because of the different time zones but somehow the two of you would always make it work.
george texted you saying there is something important he needs to discuss with you over facetime. you quickly grow nervous because you don't know what he has on his mind. you both always talked about whatever you needed when you talked on facetime so this sounded urgent.
you spend most of the day thinking about it until it was time to video chat with him.
"what's up, G? how are you?" you say when his handsome face appears on your screen.
he smiles, "i'm fine love, how have you been?"
nervous. "i'm fine, better now that i'm speaking with you." you smile. you hope lying would at least make your mood better. "so...what did you need to talk to me about?"
"right! so i was wondering..." he sounds tedious as he begins his sentence and it never occurred to you that he could be nervous too. but what about?
"...that you should come stay with me and my family."
oh.
"god, i thought you were breaking up with me..." you laugh nervously, leaning back in your chair.
"what? no, of course not love." he assures. "what reason would i have to do that anyways?"
relief enters your system and you instantly feel better after hearing him say that. your nerves try to take hold of you again.
"i don't know, but ill try to make sure it stays that way." you answer.
he laughs before going back to his question. "so what do you think? everyone would love to have you here–especially daisy. there's plenty of space here too."
"i mean...i would really like to george," you start.
he can tell where your answer is going. "but..."
"but i think i really should stay with my family." you explain. "i need to be home if something goes wrong."
"right, of course." he nods. your heart sinks a little at how sad he is. "it's just...it's been so long since i've seen you."
"i know, it has been. but you can't expect me to drop everything to just go to england." you shake your head.
"no, of course not. that's why i asked in the first place." he says frowning a bit. "you know, if there's anything you need me to do-"
"it's fine, george." you interrupt.
"okay. i was just wondering in case something was wrong."
"nothings wrong, i'm just saying in case something is wrong or goes wrong." you explain again.
something about his expression says that he's conflicted but of course he doesn't say anything. he only nods.
"...george?"
"hmm?"
"what's wrong?"
"nothing, why?"
"your face isn't saying that." you deadpan.
"well, what do you want me to say?" he tilts his head to the side and squints.
"well, i want you to tell me how you feel now rather than bringing it up later and getting even more upset with me." you say.
"i'm just tired. it's nothing you need to worry about." he says. you know he's lying.
"you're upset i said no." you deduct, even though it's obvious.
"no, you said why you can't come. and i understand." he dismisses before sighing. "i'm going to go now, okay? i'll talk to you tomorrow."
"yeah. okay." you nod before ending the call. you usually blow him a kiss or wave, but with how upset you are right now, you couldn't be bothered.
you slide back in your chair and stare at the ceiling. that's all interrupted when you hear footsteps approaching your room.
"was that george?" your younger sister popped in. she's quite fond of george which made you happy but also annoyed because she always found a way to tease you relentlessly in front of him. george always thought it was cute when you got flustered but you'd never get used to it.
"yes, who else would it be?" you joke–or try to. your tone made it sound like you're a smartass and your sister reacted in offense.
"sorry...we didn't really have a great end to our conversation." you say, closing your eyes.
"what was it about?" she comes and sits on your bed.
"he wants me to come stay with him and his family." you answer.
"okay, well are you?" she asks, and you raise a brow.
your eyebrows knit together when you hear her ask you this. "um, probably not. i need to go stay with mom and dad like you are. he understands so it's not a matter anymore." you answer, shutting your laptop.
"there's nothing wrong, though. mom and dad are retired anyways so they stay home. my school moved stuff online. and our brothers are working remotely, supposed to be on their way there to stay. in any case, there are going to be too many people there."
"isn't it better that way?" you argue.
your sister is laying down but sits up to look at you sternly. "y/n, we're gonna be fine. and we're gonna be fine if anything happens. if anyone is going to look after mom and dad, it'll be me and our brothers, and like i said, more than enough people to look after each other. with this whole virus we still need to be able to have room to stay apart-even within the house."
you still protest. "but i don't know...with work-"
"last time i checked, your job let's you work remotely, so that isn't a problem." she interjected, shaking her head.
"what if you need help with school?" you ask. "you know our brothers don't know as much as i do with your major."
"i can facetime you like you do now with george." she answers. "it's that simple."
you become silent as your mind searches for something else of concern, but you draw blank.
you hear your sister sigh. "you're making up excuses, aren't you?"
you scoff. "why would i do that?"
she lays back on your bed again and stares at the ceiling. "i don't know. that's something you have to answer for yourself. i don't even think you've admitted to yourself why you're doing it."
this time you don't have anything to say in response.
"just think about it, y/n. that time when he asked you to visit his family at christmas, but you said no.and the time he really wanted you to come out for valentine's day? that was really selfish."
"earlier you said i never take care of myself." you point out sarcastically. your sister is really beginning to get under your skin.
she presses her lips into a hard line. "you know what i mean."
i know, im just...it's kinda scary having to be at this point in our relationship because meeting his parents means we're very serious and committed."
you sister gazes at you as if you had grown two heads. "well isn't that what you guys are?"
"if you aren't serious or didn't want to be serious about your relationship with him, then why are you still with him?" she asks.
you felt hurt that she would question that but realize that it only hurt because it's the truth. you open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
"i know it's hard right now, but you need to know that we will be more than okay without you here. mom has been trying to push you to move forward with your relationship with george, she really likes him and so does dad, but you're hard to convince with how stubborn you are."
"all i'm gonna say is don't take advantage of how everything is now to make another excuse. i think you should go, it would be nice."
with how agitated george seemed on the call it suddenly made sense. he probably felt like you didn't care or weren't prioritizing him enough and honestly, you aren't. it's ironic enough that you two joked about him breaking up with you, but here you were giving him a good reason to.
"you've only got so much time, y/n." she says, "i would think about it sooner than later."
at night, you spend most of the time in bed restless as you think of what to do. but it's clear. even if he is at home now, it still scares you that he is miles away, and if something happened to him you wouldn't be able to quickly reach him. he is your family, all of his family is essentially. you just need to start acting like it.
both of you always know when it's morning or night time for your timezones and you both try to always send each other messages saying good morning or goodnight.
'good morning, can i talk to you as soon as possible?'
instead of responding, he calls you.
"hi." you greet timidly. your outburst from your previous conversation left you feeling meek. occasionally you can be stubborn and will refuse to apologize but you know that in this moment you need to put your pride aside.
george seemed relieved but also tired when his face appeared on the screen. this made you feel guilty because you know how he gets when he's worried. the man already has a questionable sleep schedule so you can only imagine how little he got the past night or so.
"hi dove," his voice sounded like honey, very sweet. even after he was upset he still called you by your nickname. you know you don't deserve his everlasting kindness. "is there something wrong?"
you shake your head. "no, don't worry, there's nothing seriously wrong. i just need to talk to you about yesterday."
"actually, i did too." he admits.
"oh, really?" you feel yourself panic slightly and you wait for him to come down on you with the same words as your sister.
george looks guilty as he nods in confirmation. "y/n, i shouldn't have of expected you to be able to drop everything and coming running here, that's a lot, especially right now. i also feel bad for how i was acting with you yesterday...i guess i was just frustrated and i was being really stubborn when you asked me how i felt. it's not fair to you to just not communicate."
this all took you by surprise. you hadn't expected for him to apologize and honestly your conversation with your sister made you understand better about why he was so upset.
he cocks his head to the side, studying your expression since you're silent. "you look surprised...why?"
you blink and finally move. "well that's why i called you. i was really the one wrong, you know. and honestly you weren't wrong in what you said and how you felt." you admit, and he perks up at this.
he knits his eyebrows in confusion. "how do you mean?"
you shift your eyes a bit so you aren't looking right at him and for once you're thankful for the screen like barrier between the two of you. "well, every time you're here, you always make an effort to see me and not just me but my family too. when you asked me if i wanted to stay with you and your family, i never considered that you just wanted me to finally meet them since i never have. i know how much they mean to you and i don't want you to think that i don't want to meet them. that was so naïve of me and i'm so sorry george."
"you don't have to be sorry y/n, you're just concerned for your family and i get that. and you've been busy with work too."
"i know, but sometimes i feel like i'm making excuses for things. and if anyone's busier between the two of us, it's you, and you've never used it as an excuse. i think im just scared because of how serious our relationship has gotten."
"it is scary, but we are both in this together, aren't we? you're never alone. after all it takes two people to make a relationship. remember when i met your family for the first time? i nearly shit myself because of your dad and brothers. but because i had you with me, i remembered not to be so scared." he points out.
"yeah, i do." you laugh, "and we are in this together, which is why i was thinking about what you said and it wouldn't be such a bad idea...if i came to stay with you and your family." you explain.
george's face brightens, his blue eyes lighting up. "wait, really?"
you nod. "really. i think it could be a great opportunity to get to know everyone better. plus we've never really lived together before."
you and george spent the next hour or so planning out your trip there and honestly you couldn't be more excited.
"did we cover everything?" he asks once running through everything the two of you discussed.
"think so. i can always just text you later if something comes up or if i need to tell you anything else." you look at the time and gasp. it's well past when george normally goes to sleep. "i didn't realize how long we were talking, you should go to bed."
"it's okay, i don't really think i'm going to be able to sleep knowing you're coming here." he confesses, grinning.
"that's a great point, and i won't either probably, but i'm serious. you already deprive yourself of sleep." you remind him gently. often you have to remind him to take care of himself (he's pretty bad at it sometimes) he would pretend it bugged him but he'd always showed gratitude for your concern.
he sighs. "if you insist, mum."
you laugh, "goodnight, g."
the next few days you scramble to pack and are thankful for the aid of your sister. of course that came at a price when she constantly reminded you of how right she was and you try your best to tune her out.
before you know it, it's time for you to leave and you triple check everything before heading out.
"you call me if anything and i mean anything happens." you say to your sister, hugging her tightly. she dropped you off at the airport since she'd be leaving to go home to your parents in the next few days.
"of course." her muffled voice came from where her face is hidden in your shirt. she pulls away and gives you a smile. "we really got it under control though."
"thank you, for putting my stubborn ass in check." you say, and the both of you laugh afterwards.
she shrugs nonchalantly. "well someone's gotta do it. i've made it my lifetime job."
you finally bid your sister goodbye before going to check in. you then text george your itinerary for your flights like you told him you would. he quickly responds back telling you to have a safe flight and to let him know once you've landed for both.
as exhausting as your flights were, they could've gone horribly and thankful they didn't. you get a cab to your hotel and drag your sluggish body to your room. you text everyone to let them know you've made it before you hit the pillow and pass out.
you have to self quarantine for two weeks before you could actually go and be with george and his family. while it is a small set back to your plans, it's clearly worth it since it concerned the safety and wellbeing of those around you.
you try to familiarize yourself with london and do a bit of walking around where you can, often asking george about places to get take out or parks to go to. anywhere safe in general where you could stay away from people at a distance.
"don't go to all of them, now. i want to be able to take you to at least one of them." he teases.
"alright, scouts honor." you reply.
since you and george are now in the same time zone, facetiming is a lot easier. you even see a bit of daisy and his mother and father from time to time which is exciting. you always inform him of how you're feeling and that everything is fine and he does the same for him and his family.
you also talk to your sister from time to time. especially since she has to go through the same process going back to your parents, the two do you found yourselves bored at times when not working, so it's nice that you had each other to annoy.
eventually two weeks pass and the day that you can finally see each other approaches. george tells you that he's on his way to pick you up. you already packed and literally have been waiting for check out to come, you didn't want to waste anytime. even if he isn't far, time still seems to pass dreadfully slow and you can't help but become antsy.
he's on his way. you repeat in your head, a rush of excitement making you shiver.
when he shows up and you see him, it never really occurred to you just how long it had been since you'd last seen him. you stop in your tracks just to look at him with awe. his usually short hair is longer and he wears a green sweatshirt and track pants. it really doesn't matter to you what he wears because he always manages to look beautiful to you (something you greatly envy) and you feel your insides get all warm and fuzzy.
he doesn't see you at first so you have more time to admire him, which you would have no shame doing even if he did see. when he finally turns in your direction, his once focused expression softens and a bright smile appears on his face.
you grab your suitcase (which thankfully is light) and run to him. when you reach him you drop everything and practically leap into his arms.
"well hello to you too." he chuckles, wrapping his arms around your middle.
"i'm so glad to see you." you say into his sweatshirt. his familiar scent fills your nose and you hold onto him for just a little longer. "i missed you a lot."
when you both pull away, his arms are still looped around your waist. "i missed you too. im so glad you're here." he looks at you for a moment before leaning down to kiss you.
"no symptoms, right?" he asks, pausing.
"nope. none for you?" you ask.
"none." he shakes his head. he closes the gap between the two of you and captures his lips against yours. neither one of you rush, wanting to savior the moment and enjoy each other's presence. the feeling of his body and touch is enough to make you feel at home and in complete comfort.
when you both finally pull away, short giggles are exchanged and you feel warmth spread though your cheeks.
"been wanting to do that forever." he says, his forehead still pressed to yours.
wordlessly, you press your lips to his again. the second time is less gentle and you can feel his grip on your hips tighten for only a moment. you both finally get ahold of yourselves and return to reality.
"shall we go then?" he says, taking your suitcase.
you nod. "lead the way."
both of you chatter away like normal but it still feels different being that you're able to talk to him in the flesh. nevertheless, you cherish every second of it. sometimes you float off due to your erratic nerves.
george, as intuitive as he is, seems to notice. "hey, are you nervous?" he asked, lacing his hand with yours. it there was one thing he is good at, it's calming your nerves.
you nod shyly, your cheeks heating up. "yeah, i just really hope they like me. especially since we're gonna be living with each other for awhile."
"you have nothing to be worried about love. they're all excited you're here. my mum has been cooking more than usual too so that's also a good sign." he jokes, making you laugh.
the rest of the drive is more relaxed and by the time you get to george's parents' house, your nerves are mostly gone. he unlocks the door, letting you in first.
"mum, we're here!" he shouts.
"y/n, darling! we're so glad you're finally here!" his mom, kim, beams, pulling you into a hug.
"of course, i'm so excited to finally meet everyone. thanks so much for letting me come stay." you say hugging her back before going to hug his dad, paul.
"of course it's our pleasure." paul says as you both pull away.
"y/n! it's so nice to see you beyond a screen!" daisy engulfs you into a hug and excitement takes over you as you hug her back.
"i can say the same thing." you grin, and watch as her dog runs up to greet you.
"daisy you're not trying to steal my girlfriend away from me, are you?" he teases, pretending to be hurt.
"can't make any promises i won't, g." she teases with a grin.
the rest of the day is spent settling in and chatting with all of his family. you talk about back home and growing up with your obnoxious siblings. his mom does not hesitate to pull out the embarrassing baby photos of george.
"mum, you cant show any of daisy?" he whines.
"that wouldn't be as fun, now wouldn't it?" she replies, smiling innocently.
"i was the cuter baby anyways." daisy boasts. "i have no bad photos." george rolls his eyes at this and you see the red increase in his face.
"it's okay george, i think even the ugly ones are cute." you tell him, looking up from the photo album. when you look back, a specific picture catches your eye and you freeze.
"is that you and...will poulter?" you say, shocked. "you're both so tiny!"
"yeah, we went to school together." he says. "we're really good mates too."
"well that's just rude." you huff, crossing your arms.
he looks at you strangely. "what?"
"when were you ever going to tell me that you're friends with him?"
"to be fair, love, you would've freaked out anyways. it wasn't going to matter how or when i told you." he shrugs.
"touché." you say, and everyone laughs.
__
after everyone said goodnight to each other, you and george went up to the room you both shared.
"i have a surprise for you." you tell him, running over to your suitcase and rummaging through it.
his sapphire eyes widen with surprise. "for me? what is it?"
you stop once you find it and turn towards him. "you have to close your eyes first."
"okay, they're closed."
"happy belated birthday!" you beam, handing him a present. while away from him, you had just barely missed his birthday which you could tell made him sad because it made you sad as well.
when he opens it, his face lights up as it's something he had been mentioning months on end before. "y/n, you shouldn't of had...you didn't have to get me this."
"you can just say thank you, you know." you tease, rolling your eyes. george is too humble, often downplaying things or saying he didn't deserve something.
he gives you a sheepish expression and nods apologetically. "sorry...thank you, dove. but really, it must've been trouble to find this."
"anything isn't really trouble if it has to do with you, george. you didn't think i'd miss the perfect opportunity to celebrate my boyfriend's birthday, did you?"
his eyes search your face and a warm smile appears on his own before he shakes his head. "really all i need to celebrate is you. nothing else." he admits, putting the gift down and pulling you onto his lap.
you take the bow from the present and place it in your hair. "well, now you have a total of two gifts!"
"that so?" he chuckles, hoisting you up before taking you over to the bed and plopping you down there. he crawls over your small frame and the warmth from his body is comforting. his usually blue eyes are dark grey and you shiver when you feel his large hands sneak under your sweater, and over your bare skin before toying with your bra. "then i think i need to unwrap the second one." __
the time for settling in is a lot easier than you thought it would be. george's family is all around just as kind and warm as he is, and it's obvious which parts of his personality he gets from who, which is amusing to you.
you enjoy watching nightly movies and playing board games with everyone. you learn to team up with daisy because the two of you are highly competitive and share similar mindsets.
you help his mom and daisy cook and you often exchange recipes with them with things you were taught back home.
and speaking of back home, you video chatted with your family weekly. sometimes they wanted to talk to george more than you, and you only pretended to be hurt.
george often seeks for your help with setting up zoom calls and you don't hesitate to assist him. it becomes a routinely thing where you'd make sure he is all set up for his meetings and that everything works properly. he always thanks you profusely and you just shrug it off as no big deal.
you fell asleep during movie night one time and as you begin to wake back up, you hear kim speaking specifically about you.
"you know georgie, you've been glowing ever since y/n came."
you decide not to move, especially since you're lying against george. ever since you got to his parents' you thought less about worrying of their opinion as well as daisy's and just tried to be yourself. but now you can't help but take the opportunity to try to see what they think of you.
"yeah, you're 'glowing', g. it's quite adorable." daisy teases, and you hear him groan with embarrassment.
"you're very lucky to have her, it's a great thing she's here." paul chimes in. "how's she been settling in so far, lad?"
"for her to be so far away from family is hard, but i think that's the only thing." you hear george say.
"well it's good thing that she has family here, us." his mom replies, and you can hear the smile in her voice.
the convo changed and eventually they all told george goodnight, leaving the two of you alone in the living room. after a good minute, you pretend to stir before fully waking up.
"hi sleepyhead." he grins at you, brushing your hair down.
"hi..." you say, rubbing your eyes and sitting up on his chest. "sorry i fell asleep."
"you heard all of that, didn't you?" you hear him say, humor in his voice.
"i may or may not have." you answer, feeling your face grow hot knowing he knew you weren't asleep. "i can't help being nosey."
"i know that," he teases, "well do you feel better now after what you heard?" he asks.
"yeah definitely. it sounds like they were really worried about me being comfortable here. i hope i haven't made it seem like i'm not." you respond. "the last thing i want to do is sound ungrateful."
"no you haven't, they were just worried because they just wanted you to feel at home. especially since you haven't been here before. they kept asking me about things you liked and i kept telling them that you're very lax that they didn't need to do much."
"well i really appreciate it, that's so nice. and i've had a lot of fun so i love it here. also...have you really been beaming since i got here, george?" you smirk, pinching his cheek. he should've known you'd tease about it.
he swats your hand away playfully. "maybe i have...do you want me to frown,now?" he looks at you with said expression and you know he's joking but you can't help but be serious.
you shake your head. "no, you have a very beautiful smile. i like when you're happy."
george's cheeks grow rosy at your words. you always adore the fact that he gets shy from the slightest compliment and as much as you like to tease him, you always mean every word you say.
his smile returns and he looks at you like there's a billion different things he wants to say, but as of right now he only settles for a few. "and i like that you're here, it makes me happier than i already am."
not much else is said, or really needs to be said. you both just lie there, holding each other and enjoying the comfortable silence. you're right where you need to be and so is he. neither one of you would have it any other way.
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