#like ive said before im not the best writer so any feedback would be great<3

[arlecchno]

I AM HAVING A GREAT SUMMER BREAK THANK YOUUUU IM GONNA BE ABLE TO MEET MY INFAMOUS BESTIE NAMED ROOF SOMETIME SOON ACTUALLY‼️‼️

AND I CAN INFACT “SIGN YOU UP” BECAUSE I HAVE A PART OF THE PROLOGUE THING WRITTEN :D here is the doc !! since i dont want to kill tumblr by pasting the entire thing in this ask lol . if you have any feedback after reading it would be appreciated if youd share it ehe . for better reading context though , the “prologue” happens much before the main storyline when rin and ashe are still pretty young so dont take their prologue selves as their core personalities and stuff , they will change :3c

lmao rin would absolutely walk you through her routine and ashe would just shrug their shoulders and say he just uses what the servants give him LMAO - they both do have very good hair and skin though since theyre given the best products in their kingdoms .

also this happened when we i asked how theyd respond to your message LOL

figuratively praying for your survival rn im wishing you the best with asphodelus . i live laugh and love all your series but sPEAKING OF YOUR SERIES you writing aL HAITHAM ?!!!!???!! sign ME up bro !!!

heart eyes . stares in al haitham simp and kinnie .

do u mind if i ask what u study tho ? js curious tbh . and also , yk honkai star rail ? asking bc ive been kind of brainrotting over it lately tbh im so gay for the star rail men HELP ME SJKDNSKD [ dies in homosexual ]

i got carried away but ykw why not say another random thing . if youre an anime watcher you should totes watch houseki no kuni / land of the lustrous 😍😍😍 both the anime and manga are amazing ( read as: OH GOD THE ANGST ITS KILLING ME AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH (( esp in the manga …)) ) and i love love love the series sooooo much im OBSESSED ‼️ not forcing obvi but i cannot rec this anime / manga enough because my goodness the visuals are to die for and im a big simp for the soundtrack of the anime ( thats probably weird to say but idc )

ANYWAYS IVE PROBABLY SAID ENOUGH LMAO !! again best wishes to you for your studies and writing <3 <3 GOOD LUCK SOLDIER 🫡🫡🫡 LOL

just read the prologue AHHHHHHHH it's so good already rin and ashe are already my favourites!!!! the part where the sat on the railing and thought of one another as cold and fire..... i seriously cannot wait for what's to come like i NEED to see what they're going to be like when they're older and are ruling their kingdoms, i can already imagine the amount of angst and the flipsides of their personalities in the timeskip 🫂 them being young right now though hshdjji i want to squish their cheeks so bad

thank you man i still have yet to start the next asphodelus chapter LOL not sure if i'm still up to writing it now that i'm on the works of writing alhaitham aka my no.1 babygirl 😞💔 the writer's block on asphodelus is crazy

YOUR CHIBI IS SO CUTE THO AND YES!!!! alhaitham islove alhaitham is life am i right or am i right

i'm still in hs so i study the usual hs subjects yada yada but i also take additional electives like accounting and economics! honestly speaking i kind of regret taking economics but it's a bit too late to back out now LMAOO i also take another elective which is this math qualification but like,,, we don't talk about it man i'm failing in every damn class 😭 so yeah my schedule is PACKED packed it's a bit silly

YESSS OF COURS I KNOW HSR!!!!! when it first came out i was like really obsessed with it but now that i finished the main story i'mkimd of slumped 😞 dw tho i'll be back once 1.2 comes out because.... blade and kafka obviously hahahahhahahah lol i need them hahahhaha

my favs are dan heng, blade, gepard, serval, seele and many more!!!!!! they are all so babygirl i just need gepard and blade and my babygirl collection is complete 💯

will definitely watch that anime/read the manga whenever i'm free!! always open to recs because i've kind of been bored lately with the lack of entertainment 😭 currently jjk s2 and these 2 kdramas (king the land & see you in my 19th life) are the only ones that have kept me going GOD i need to consume more media 😔😔😔 thanks for the rec i'll check it out soon!!!!! and did you say angst 👁️👁️ oh i'm definitely tuned in

THANK YOU AGAIN AND I HOPE YOU'LL HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!!!!! AND ALSO good luck to you and your friend on your story 📌📌 you guys are doing really great the prologue already got me hooked haha KEEP IT UP!!! (from your no.1 rin and ashe fan 😋) SAY HI TO THEM FOR ME TOOO <333

#h answers #RAHHHH IT'S FINALLY THE WEEKEND #i am free from the hellhole #well only for two days #but you gotta make the most of it yk

[psychicbergara]

Ok so I’m always the worst with asks cuz I suddenly forget every thought I’ve ever had but I’ve been on a fanfic binge and I love when ppl come to the realization that their in LOVE by the most mundane thing and they were overwhelmed and idk maybe that with shyan ??

hi anon im SO sorry i took so long to write this out. it got a lot longer than i thought and honestly,,, im not too happy with it but i hope you think it's decent enough lkjldfjgdf 😭 im always open to constructive criticism so anon and anyone who reads this, please let me know your thoughts, i'd love to know what yall think!! anyways uh.. enjoy? sldkfjdf

--

Love wasn’t necessarily a tangible concept when Shane was in his youth. He was more of a ‘go with the flow’ kind of guy, ticking checkboxes on what you’re supposed to do when you’re in a relationship with someone, like saying the daunting ‘L word’ as he used to call it in his teenage years. Looking back, he has said it plenty of times, but he knew deep in his chest that it wasn’t right. He was like an old pull string toy; pull on his string and he’d robotically say a cheesy romantic phrase with all the enthusiasm he didn’t feel, all empty of genuinity and meaning. Which was obviously pretty shitty, he knew that now.

Shane never understood stories of couples that got together knowing they were The One. It was just a bunch of baloney, if you asked him; lots of fairytale bullshit. But, he couldn’t help but feel almost envious at times. He was almost hitting 30 and was aimlessly going through the motions, impulsively moving to LA after he was accepted for an internship at Buzzfeed. He’d see where life took him, he guessed. But he truly thought he would spend most of his life never truly experiencing what love is like; Scott once told him it was like having an overwhelming sense of security, contentment and care for another, loving them in the details. You make sure they’re safe, happy, healthy, and eating well. Shane assumed he would just continue to observe love from a distance. That was true, until he met Ryan.

—

It happens on a Friday.

Ryan has been on kind of a craze, lately. Despite coming to work with tired eyes, he’s been on a frenzy with Unsolved. Completely honed in on what he’s doing, he doesn’t even notice Shane leaving his usual order of decaf coffee at his desk sometimes. It makes Shane a bit worried if he’s being honest. Not only does Ryan look like he could fall over at any moment, but there’s a distance between them that wasn’t there before, and he thinks Ryan has put it there for some reason.

It started last week after their usual Friday movie nights. Shane and Ryan made their popcorn together, because popcorn requires all hands on deck to cook it to ‘the utmost perfection’ as Ryan would say, and watched their movie of the week which was good ole’ Jaws. Everything was going great, they had their usual little jokes and Shane would occasionally throw popcorn at the screen which led to Ryan calling him a ‘monster’ for wasting popcorn, or a ‘sick bastard,’ which made Shane burst out with surprised laughter, in that fond voice Ryan always uses when he insults Shane.

But after the movie, Ryan was looking at him weird. He didn’t know what it was, but Ryan looked a little wide-eyed like he would when going to locations for Unsolved. It was like he was scared of Shane. And Shane had no idea what to do with that; Shane decided that he hates it if that genuine fear is directed towards him, but he just let it be. He absolutely regrets that now; Shane should’ve asked if he was okay, if he was feeling sick, but Shane didn’t know how to do that just yet when it came to Ryan.

Now he answers Shane’s text with a brief ‘Yea’, or ‘Ok’, not leaving Shane much to hope for in the rest of the conversation, when they would usually text until 1am. Whenever Shane invites him to hang out, Ryan tells him he has a personal thing, or family stuff to take care of. While Shane believed him at first, it’s becoming more frequent that it’s harder for him to ignore. And Shane is usually a relaxed guy; he’s not used to getting worried about Ryan. Ryan’s the one who tends to knaw over something that bothers him until it becomes liquid, and Shane brings him out of it when he’s at his worst. But it’s different, he guesses, when it involves Ryan.

He wants to know if he did something wrong for Ryan to act like this. Was he too much of an asshole during the Unsolved shoot? Ryan would tell him if he was doing too much, he’s not afraid to tell Shane to fuck off if he’s being a shithead. Maybe something did happen in Ryan’s family and he’s being a self-centered jerk about it. He doesn’t know, and it concerns him. Shane needs to know if he’s okay, if he’s eating or sleeping well. But he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to ask, if whatever is between them is too much to bear, and if Shane crosses the barrier between them would their relationship break entirely.

Shane scrubs a hand over his face, taking his eyes off the computer in front of him. This is probably how Ryan feels on a day-to-day basis. He doesn’t know how he deals with it.

Ryan already left work before Shane could get a hold of him, and Shane takes that as another sign that Ryan doesn’t want to talk to him. He sighs, grabbing his stuff to leave work before he feels a buzz from his phone in his pocket. He takes it out and Shane almost drops his phone when the screen illuminates with a text from Ryan.

Hey can you come over real quick? I need to tell you something.

Fuck, if that isn’t the most cryptic text ever.

Sure thing buddy. Is everything okay?

Yeah. Don’t worry about it.

Shane taps out another text, then deletes it, and then taps out another. His fingers hover over the send button. ‘Are we ok?’ remains in his text box with the cursor blinking in-and-out of view, almost taunting him in a way. Shane deletes it, and sends out a different text before he begins to overthink again.

Okay. See you soon.

He doesn’t get a response back, unsurprisingly. Shane sighs again; his skin feels too hot and he feels a headache coming on. He’s getting too old for this shit. Getting in his car to drive straight to Ryan’s place, he hopes that the road doesn’t lead to the end of the most precious friendship he’s had in his life, to a place where Ryan has already left Shane behind.

–

When he gets there, it’s not what he expected.

Ryan greets him at the door and tells him to sit down on the couch. He’s making small talk, which is something they never do because, frankly, they both hate doing such a thing. It’s uncomfortable; plus, there doesn't need to be any small talk when it comes to them because they’re them, talking comes naturally to them because it’s like they’ve known each other their whole lives. Except now, where Shane feels like his lunch might crawl up his throat since Ryan seems like he might run away.

But then Ryan grabs a stack of papers sitting on the coffee table before sitting down beside Shane, a few inches farther than Shane would’ve liked. He’s playing with the papers in his hands while avoiding eye contact with Shane. His own hand twitches in his lap, having the strange urge to pull Ryan in close, rest his own head against Ryan’s hair and ask him what’s wrong, if he’s doing okay, if they’re okay. But he doesn’t.

Then before Shane can get a word out, Ryan shoves the papers into Shane’s chest, making Shane bring out an embarrassing ‘oof’.

“This is a very rough draft, but that’s what I have so far,” Ryan blurts. A rough draft of what, Shane is about to ask before Ryan goes on a spiel of explaining his pitch.

Shane is feeling a little deja vu, his mind flashing back to the day Ryan asked him to co-host Unsolved with him. Ryan back then was overall smaller in stature but his presence was just as big, even bigger now, he realizes. When he talks, he captures everyone’s attention with the way he articulates his thoughts and his movements are always so lively and full of light. Ryan just fills up an entire room with his existence, and it’s absolutely mesmerizing to watch. If Ryan was like that then, he is so much more now. And if what Shane’s gathering from Ryan’s explanation is correct, Ryan is going to get so much brighter, and Shane wants to be there when it happens.

Ryan wants to create his own company, producing all the previous ideas he had for Buzzfeed into this new channel. There would be unscripted shows, more variety, more content, and the best thing, more creative freedom. And in all honesty, this sounds absolutely genius. Shane has always admired Ryan’s mind, how he’s always been a pioneer in original content, paving the way for fun new shows, but this absolutely takes the cake. Shane loves it; he does.

But that means Ryan would be leaving. Leaving Buzzfeed. Leaving Shane.

His heart plummets to his stomach. Now he feels like running out the door. Or he might just throw up all over Ryan’s living room floor.

Shane looks down at the papers, trying to blink away the sudden dampness in his eyes that he hopes Ryan can’t see. Fuck, he’s not gone yet. He needs to get it together. Ryan is still in the midst of his rambles, so Shane is thankfully in the clear. He reads some of the notes and immediately notices all the inky scribbles and chicken scratch of Ryan’s writing.

There’s a bunch of sentences crossed out, question marks in the margins, double-sided arrows across the page to convey that these ideas need to be switched. Just write with a pencil, you idiot, Shane thinks fondly. It’s all very chaotic, which is exactly like Ryan. Shane huffs in amusement, looking over the document, completely endeared by the absolute mess of it all, but absorbed with Ryan’s insanely clever ideas.

Ryan’s still talking, which Shane is half-listening to because now he’s so enamored by the way Ryan writes his little h’s, with a little unnecessary squiggle at the end. It’s such an incredibly ordinary detail about Ryan, but for some reason Shane’s overwhelmed by it, by all of it.

Shane’s rubbing his thumb over the ink of the words when he thinks that he’s going to miss hearing Ryan’s incredibly long rants of whatever he’s passionate about and reading Ryan’s illegible handwriting in bold ink; he’s going to miss the annoying way he writes his h’s. He’s going to miss Ryan. And–

Oh.

“So, what do you think?” Ryan asks.

There’s absolutely nothing going on in Shane’s head other than a high buzz of a revelation that’s breaking Shane’s entire worldview. Anything he says won’t be coherent at all, so all Shane can say is, “Hm?”

Ryan gives him an incredulous look; one of those cute expressions he made every single time Shane told him he ate bugs as a toddler, genuinely baffled and disbelieving even though Shane has told him the same story multiple times. Well, fuck.

He’s in love with Ryan. And Ryan might be leaving him.

Shane’s thoughts race through his mind; Please don’t leave just yet, that’s too soon, I need more time with you, I just got to know you better, give me time to know all of you.

“Dude, did you listen to anything I said?”

Shane grimaces, trying to bring himself back to normalcy. “Uh, some of it?”

While Shane thinks he would be mad, Ryan just chuckles, “Unbelievable, this guy. Am I that much of a bore to you?” Ryan playfully smacks Shane’s shoulder, while also gradually losing the tension that weighed so heavily on Ryan before, which lets Shane bounce off their usual banter.

Shane laughs. “Yeah, I was definitely snoozing it up over here. I was making myself cozy with my new blankets before you rudely interrupted,” Shane says, placing the papers Ryan gave him on his lap as his new makeshift blankets. Shane fakes a snore, making Ryan dip his head with laughter.

Shane smiles softly at him. He can’t stop looking at Ryan, looking at the way he laughs with his whole body and how gorgeous his smile is. He has never seen anybody glow like Ryan does, carrying so much light that the sun may actually be his soul. And Shane doesn’t believe in souls.

He doesn’t want any of this to go away.

Shane clears his throat as Ryan’s giggles die down. “I do think you have something commendable here, Bergara.”

Ryan beams. “Yeah? You think so?”

“Yeah, I really do. You’re going to be great.”

At Shane’s words, Ryan’s demeanor dims a little. “I was, uh, actually hoping that you’d do this with me.”

Wait, what?

Before Shane can reply, Ryan continues, anxiety taking over him. “I mean, you don’t have to give your answer right away. I understand that you need time to think about it since it is a lot. We’d have to use our life savings, and it would require a shit ton of effort, but it could be like our little company baby, I guess? That’s a fucking weird way to put it, great job, Bergara–”

“Ryan.”

“You get what I mean. And you could do so many great things, Shane, like you did with Ruining History before Buzzfeed canceled it–”

“Ryan.”

“You could do it even better than that since our bosses won’t be looking over our shoulder like an obsessive helicopter parent. I just think–”

“Ry.”

Ryan stops, and looks at Shane with those big brown eyes that Shane absolutely adores, scared that Shane may actually say no. Shane wants to scoff, and thinks, As if.

He doesn’t know how else to quell Ryan’s worries but to do this– Shane gently takes Ryan’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the inside of Ryan’s wrist, and presses his lips onto Ryan’s knuckles. Well hello there, m’darling, Shane thinks deliriously.

Shane hears Ryan’s breath hitch, and Shane doesn’t blame him because he has never done this before. And before Ryan could ask what the fuck is going on, Shane says in a low voice, “Of course I’ll do this with you.” Shane’s voice is too tight, too emotional, but he knows– I’ll follow you anywhere. I’ve followed you into the darkest places the world has to offer, so of course I’ll follow you now. It’s been good from the start so it can only get better.

So this is what love is like.

Ryan doesn’t pull his hand away from Shane. His eyes brighten and happiness is buzzing from his skin, not quite letting it spill just yet. “Really? You’re serious? You’re not fucking with me?”

Shane grins, “Nope. You’re stuck with me, Bergmeister. I’m like a bad penny under your shoe, I’ll be annoying you till the day I die, whether you like it or not.”

Ryan cackles, and before Shane knows it, he’s got his arms full of Bergara. He wraps his arms around Ryan, feeling like the luckiest person in the world when Ryan squeezes him just a little tighter than usual.

“Looking forward to it, big guy.”

This love, Shane knows; it’s a forever one. And he’s more than okay with that.

#shyan #skeptic believer #asks #sophie answers #sophie writes #i hope this was okay!! slkdfjd #like ive said before im not the best writer so any feedback would be great<3

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

oh I see !

just got merely curious, you do write good stuff imo and taking it slow should be a valid direction in the writing process (considering writers block)

but I guess I meant to ask how you have the motivation and energy to continue writing and producing said stories

to have the means on picking it back up throughout the months

and what your thought process goes through as well on planning your course of action - curios anon (also hope you don't mind me asking you so many things)

thanks for your kind words and ask! super long answer below.

motivation wise, i think its because 1) I want to see how the story ends, 2) the feedback that I get, 3) writing is fun.

1) A. im an organic writer which means sometimes i go in without a plan not knowing the ending and often not even knowing where im going with a story. sometimes i would sooort of know the general ending of the story but i have no idea how im going to get there. i write with very, very rough outline, if any at all. with one shots there are usually no outlines at all. im well aware this makes me sound like an irresponsible writer, which is not incorrect, but this method of writing is exciting to me.

every time i finish a fic im surprised at myself because i genuinely did not know how it was going to end. my favorite thing is when i write and i suddenly figure out why the character is doing what theyre doing, or what the story is trying to say. the eureka! moment. this happens to all of my stories bc i play by ear most of the time. its really thrilling to me to watch things play out as it happens, if that makes sense!

i think its why i love writing mysteries so much because the story is a mystery to me too. its like putting a puzzle together but you make the pieces yourself, and its so difficult but also so much fun. the moment everything is revealed, the moment i understand whats going on in the story, what the character wants, how everything falls together ... whoa. it makes everything worth it.

so yeah. i want to see how the story ends as much as (i hope!) the readers do.

B. its rare, but sometimes i do know what im trying to say with a story. this is usually for vent fics. and venting i believe is a really good thing to do in order to stay alive and stuff, yknow. its like taking a dump. you gotta get those shit out of yourself and put it out to the world so someone else would read the shit and would be like, "oh, i connect with this shit! i understand what this shit is trying to say!" and then you feel better. its free therapy and also free human connection

2) it cheers me up whenever a reader says the story makes them feel something, or if they manage to connect with it, which is the best thing ever. it feels great. and i do feel an obligation to continue a story because of this. whenever my multichap fics get a comment it does nudge something in me to actually open my google doc. if anyone who has ever commented on my stuff is reading this thank you SO much btw you dont even know.

3) writing is fun. thats it.

that being said, i run out of energy a lot. i do best when its a 20-25k story. longer than that and its hell to me personally. i think this will get better in time because back then i remember 10k was insane to me (i used to write 2k max) and so 20k was inconceivable--but here i am. 200k is inconceivable to me right now, but maybe it wont be in another five years.

i do encounter issues because of my (inadvisable) process. my issue is mostly continuity (because i dont write consistently). sometimes id realize something ive missed like details, or plot points that i shouldve brought up on earlier chapters, foreshadowings that ended up going nowhere ... things like that. i usually reread my own stuff before i update so i remember where im at. writing style change is also an issue.

all in all, this is bad practice and i dont recommend this. i think having a good outline and write consistently is the goal. i hope my process gets better but im ngl, i have a lot of fun with going blind. it keeps things from getting boring. and also i do think as time goes on im more daring to write things i wouldnt have before.

i.e at the beginning of writing retry i didnt want to write inko because i thought it was too difficult and i didnt think i could give that kind of character (a mother of a suicidal person) justice. but now inko has become a very important character. this wouldnt have happened if i had finished retry like, two years ago or something. me back then couldnt do it, but the me right now can. i do think despite all of its flaws, and also despite the fact that its incomplete, the fic has become much better for it because im ... older? more experienced? etc.

i dont think any of my fics will be "good" and "polished" compared to actual published books (or even other fics lol). i dont think thats my goal either. im just trying to go as far as i can go with them and maybe entertain a few people while im at it, and especially, entertain myself. thats where im at now in my writing. if you read this far... well, hope this makes sense.

#when i wrote jttou i didnt even know the plot twist until i wrote it and man i was screaming on my own in my room #ask #fic stuff #good friends was quite a process as well i didnt know how it was going to end. at first it was gonna end after bkg scene. #but then i realize... wouldnt it be more fucked up if...?

[medieval-canadian]

Do you have any advice on creating a research proposal?

hello anon! sure, i could probably give you a couple pointers. keep in mind that a) im not an expert - im only an ma student! and b) the parameters of the research proposal you need to produce will affect what the process of creating it will look like. so, given that i am working in the humanities and have really only written actual research proposals for a canadian federal funding body, my experience is specific to those parameters and requirements. 

however. i think (theoretically, mind you, i have no practical knowledge to back this up) that some things remain constant across the board. so here’s my attempt to articulate those at my bedtime after a glass of wine and what feels like a long day (but it wasn’t really)

ONE - remember that this is a research proposal. therefore, you cannot in any feasible way have done the research yet. you are not expected to have read every source in your bibliography. however, please DO take advantage of the (seemingly hundreds) of book/article reviews you can find on any database. you know the ones that take up the first three pages of your database search before you realize that this database doesn’t actually have the text you’re looking for because you fall into this trap every damn time? okay maybe that’s just me but still. in this case these will actually be what you’re looking for ON PURPOSE! 

TWO - and related to one: though as ive mentioned you can’t have done the research yet, it is best to stick to a field for which you have at least a basic grasp of the current state of scholarship. you don’t want to have to do all the groundwork and/or miss any big glaring chunks of important field-specific history that would completely derail your argument

THREE - choose your strategy: pick something that truly interests you or pick something you know you can create good a proposal for. which one you choose will likely depend on the parameters of the required proposal. for the ones i’ve applied to, the proposal i write is not a contract; the funding body doesn’t care if i change my project once they’ve given me money. it’s about proving that i can think in a way that they deem “worthy” of funding. however, if you’re applying for a grant or something that funds specific projects, then you should probably make sure the project is interesting to you. otherwise your work life might suck for a while.

FOUR - my best piece of advice regarding the creation of a research proposal is………….. TEAMWORK! no for real. create a group of fellow proposal-writers and brainstorm everyone’s project together; exchange drafts, get thoughts, get feedback on what works and what doesn’t. it’s honestly even better if this group is field-diverse. for example, i wouldn’t want to write a research proposal about medieval lit and then exchange it with 3 other medievalists - we would get too bogged down in the details, in the “have you read this, have you considered that”s and in the “actually, i disagree”s. when i wrote my proposals, i was working with a modernist, a contemporary/video games person, a political scientist, and a narratologist. this, in my experience, much more accurately reflects the kind of selection committee that a discipline-non-specific research grant (like SSHRC) would put together. this way, your proposal can speak to scholars that are not experts in your particular area, which is important if they’re the ones deciding whether your ideas are worth money

FIVE - and i guess a bit trite. but remember: not everyone can be funded. if you dont get the award or scholarship or grant you’re applying to, it doesn’t mean your ideas are worthless or that you won’t be a great scholar or that you can’t succeed in the field. rejection is a huge part of academia, unfortunately - but you can’t let that stop you from thinking in interesting and innovative ways. 

i hope this helps! idk how relevant it is because, as i said, i’ve not applied to very many research grants. but if you have more questions, or want a follow up or clarification, let me know. and also, to anyone else who happens to read this beast, if you have input or something to add then please do!

xx

#anon #Anonymous #ask and you shall receive *an answer* #grad school is wild #gradblr #academia #lol im not entirely sure im qualified to answer this but i tried