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#like it really is a fun and happy hunting sim when youre out of the house and when youre IN the house the walls are always closing in on you
dirt-str1der · 9 months
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I couldnt play squirrel stapler one because im too scared and two because i would go around playing hunting simulator on the first day and gather like fifty squirrels and immediately staple them all onto my wife and she would be like omg im beautiful again thank you so much babe and i would be like i know baby now make love to me so i can run my hands all over your beautiful fur coat and we would have mindblowing squirrel sex and i would wake up gangrenous and dying because i just did it with a rotting corpse and should have known better
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slasherhoe87 · 1 year
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🕹The Slashers' Favourite Video Games🖥
So you've introduced your murderous partners to the wonderful world of video gaming... what is their favourite game??
MICHAEL MYERS
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THE SIMS 4
He enjoys recreating Midwest-like towns in the worlds of Newcrest, Willow Creek, Brindleton Bay & Copperdale
He uses/downloads both mods and cc (cc is cosmetic stuff for the game like clothing, decor, hair, furniture etc) for the game
Has has decorated his worlds as Halloween wonderlands - spooky decor and lighting is everywhere
He built Laurie's home right next to his own childhood home
Downloaded the 'Extreme Violence' mod so he could terrorise and murder the poor sims
Downloaded his navy coveralls and his mask cc
Controls Laurie's household and makes her life miserable
She hasn't showered in weeks and is forced to use a toilet on full display out on the front lawn
You have to drag him away from the PC otherwise he'll sit there causing misery and bringing chaos to the lives of the sims forever
JASON VOORHEES
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DEAD BY DAYLIGHT
A killer stalking the woods for victims trespassers?
Can actually play as himself?
Gets to play with you as well?
Can enjoy the forested scenery that he so loves?
All of the above are a recipe for a great time to Jason
Likes to play at night as it helps him unwind after long days of setting up/securing traps and patrolling his woods
You and 3 of your friends would play as the victims for Jason to hunt down
More often than not you and your friends die by his hands but on the rare occasions that you survive, Jason rewards you with hours of fun in the bedroom
BO SINCLAIR
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GRAND THEFT AUTO V
Play as criminals causing murder and mayhem in a big, sprawling city? Yes please
The cars! Bo is obsessed with the variety of vehicles on offer in the game
Spends hours customizing all the cars he "procured legitimately"
Likes to park his vehicle at a pretty spot somewhere on the map and enjoy the sunset while listening to the in-game radio station music
Trevor is his favourite "protagonist"
Punches every npc that pisses him off
Knocks down and reverses over every cyclist he encounters on the road
Really likes the desert and the free spirit atmosphere of southern cali... sometimes makes him wanna pack-up and move himself and his brothers out to a town around the Salton Sea area
VINCENT SINCLAIR
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LAYERS OF FEAR
A psychological horror centered around an artist whose one and only goal is to complete his Magnum Opus? Vincent immediately bought this game
Vincent takes his time traversing through the paintings (trippy doorways) trying to uncover every clue and unearth every bit of lore
The imagery and artistry of the game has inspired some of his own recent works
Is fascinated by the psychedelic horror and is not often affected by the jump scares or disturbing imagery though sometimes he'll jump especially when his character turns around to find a painting had crept up right behind him
Plays as often as he can, though not at the expense of the "family business"
CARRIE
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THE SIMS 4
Like Michael, she can spend hours in front of the PC screen playing the Sims 4
Unlike Michael though, she is not murdering and terrorising the sims (unless they really cross her)
She loves the world of Henford-on-Bagley
She downloaded (because she can't build for shit) a little yellow and stone country cottage from the gallery where you, her, your pets and livestock live
A quiet, happy life filled with love - that's all she wants. And while the two of you still live in the noisy city, the Sims can provide her dream life until the two of you are able to move one day
In the game she is a housewife who makes money off of her knitting, baking, small scale farming and other crafts while you own and work at the local vet clinic
Decorates your shared cottage and your sims with the cottagecore aesthetic
JENNIFER CHECK
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VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE BLOODLINES
Plays this game during the week nights
Has downloaded a ton of cosmetic mods to update the graphics of this older game
She chose her vampiress to be of the Toreador clan as they were the closest vampires that resembled Succubi/Incubi
Has fun using the seduction dialogue options in the game to get her way
Has heard some great songs in the game to add to her Spotify playlist
The game makes her wonder if vampires actually exist... is she, a Succubus exists then why not vampires? If they do exist she hopes they don't sparkle
WILL GRAHAM
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DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN
Plays this when he can't sleep - which is almost every single night
Enjoys getting to play as a detective and the crime scene investigations
Playing as androids with artificial intelligence adds an interesting sci-fi element for him
There are a lot of moral choices that need to be made in the game and he's not so sure a lot of his fbi colleagues would agree with many of his choices - especially Jack and Alana
He doesn't think Jack would appreciate some of the similarities he finds with Hank and him
Also wonders if Hannibal isn't an android himself as his eerie calm and levelheadedness and barely-there facial expressions would certainly allude to it
BILLY & STU
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MARIO KART
They love playing with you
After watching movies on the weekend you all settle down with snacks and play the Mario Kart games
Billy and Stu are of course Mario and Luigi
You and Stu never get angry if you lose but Billy just about loses his shit
Billy will sulk and give whoever won the race the stink-eye
Because of Billy's attitude, Stu makes it his mission to get Billy to lose. His favourite method is throwing banana peels in front of Billy's kart. Even Mario (Billy's character) gives Stu the side-eye
Regardless, you all have great fun despite Billy being a sore loser - but you and Stu sure do make it up to him later in the night in your shared bed
I don't know why I wrote this. Damn you, spontaneous thoughts 🙄🤣
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amielbjacobs · 3 months
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Happy STS! What is your character’s living situation like? Do they live in a house/apartment/boarding house/castle? How neat do they keep it and why? What sort of vibes does their home have? Share as much detail as you like for as many characters as you want!
Vyacheslav Mirsky & Nadezhda Mirskaya - As of the events of Spymaster, the Mirskys have recently moved into an apartment in West Germany to work at the newly opened Soviet embassy in Bonn. Because of general 1950s sexist ideas about the wife being the one who takes care of the house and because of Vyacheslav's general retreat from all aspects of married life, most of the decor was left up to Nadia's discretion.* Nadia is thrifty, so I would imagine that a lot of the furniture depends on what was cheapest and quickest to get when they arrived in Bonn. She also likes to hang up mushroom identification charts because she loves mushroom hunting.
The one room Vyacheslav has claimed for himself is his "study". Nadia is aware, although neither of them have ever said it out loud, that she is not allowed into this room. Probably if she went in, Vyacheslav wouldn't say anything, just look uncomfortable. But she's never tried. Neither of them are eager to test the boundaries of their weird awkward silence.
The study isn't really a study; it was probably, like, a large broom closet or something of the nature before Vycheslav crammed a tiny desk and a chair into it. He keeps some of his books here, and mostly he shuts himself into it and writes, and then burns what he's written in his ash tray.
* Vyacheslav will insist to the last that he believes in the equality of the sexes as a tenant of Communism, but they're still the kind of m/f couple where things don't get done unless she either does it or tells him to do so. I will say, in his defense, that if she ever did feel able to ask him to do his half of the housework and so on, he would probably rise to the occasion, but he is so distant and weird to her that she never really feels comfortable discussing that with him.
Eugene Wallace - Wallace lives in a small 2 room flat in Bonn, somewhat away from where the other American diplomats live because he speaks very good German and isn't psyched about living packed in with all his coworkers next door. (This is, of course, also convenient for a secret love affair with a Russian spy . . . )
It's kind of a mess because he moved in recently. A lot of used furniture, some of which he's tried to repair or cover up damage on, a lot of boxes of books. Even if he were fully moved in, there'd probably always be books lying around the place. It's cluttered, a little worn, but cozy. He likes the color light blue, generally light colors.
His bedroom has a window that looks out onto the street, and there's a tree growing up next to it.
Honestly, I should boot up the Sims and model their houses, that would be fun.
Thanks for sending this, Moshke!
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yourworsttotebag · 4 months
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tell me more about your thoughts on wyll needing a hero….. 👁️👁️ evie dating sim next steps??
Very broadly, I just enjoy the idea of the hero getting rescued, laying down their literal and metaphorical armor and having someone hold them and care for them.
And I think Wyll is such a good candidate for this because he so badly wants to be the right kind of hero. He'll gladly accept more and more weight and responsibility. I wonder if maybe he feels some necessary part of being heroic is the suffering and the shouldering of burdens. I think Wyll might not even realize how much being a hero, or even just a good guy, is weighing on him until the pressure is relieved just a tiny bit.
The specific Wyll/Evie arranged marriage au I've been puttering around with is extremely vibes based. The timeline is all cooked, there's no ending, there's enormous time skips where I just don't know what's supposed to happen. It's more of a wish list than anything.
Right now I'm picturing a) their current game ages in their mid 20s and b) Wyll isn't a warlock yet. Is Wyll changed too much by pushing this event later? That - remains to be seen, don't think about it, don't worry, we're gonna figure it out or we won't.
But I think during his time in Baldur's Gate, Wyll would still feel beholden to heroic ideals and feel a little burdened by the idea of being a Duke and living up to his father. And Wyll's banishment would come after he and Evie have gotten past their initial iciness, after their big sex scene, when they think things are most likely to work out, so it feels as bad as possible that Wyll is suddenly gone.
He kind of falls into monster hunting as he wanders around the Sword Coast, the story we're all familiar with. The people Wyll helps adore him and he's happy to be of use but he's at his emotional low point. He has new warlock powers but they're frightening and unfamiliar. His family, including his wife, is gone. He can never go home again.
So one of the scenes I have actually written is one where Wyll is pinned down by some Really Bad monsters and Evie suddenly rides in and saves the day. And Wyll is shocked! He figured she would write him off as dead and start her life over but instead she left her comfortable existence to come find him because she was worried about him.
And all of my iterations of Evie kind of thrive at the fun adventuring parts of being a hero for hire. She's been so bored and isolated for so long that having a cause to focus on gives her a ton of energy. She says to Wyll, "Hey, I care about you and I'm basically a super hero. Let's keep each other safe instead of you suffering alone because you think you need to atone or want to be extra noble while a dragon cuts you in half."
What does it mean for Wyll to establish his Blade of Frontiers rep with a partner? Is it a lot different from the game? Does it ever dovetail with tadpole stuff? I honestly have no idea. I answered another ask where I went into more of the difficulties I'm facing with this because I'm just too early in the process to even know what I'm doing. It could all get split into something else for all I know!
I DO think they would make a pretty hilarious good cop/bad cop duo on the frontiers. Like, "You better tell us who's in charge of your murder cult. My wife's a sorcerer and she's crazy." Wyll insists that he can be the bad cop sometimes and Evie's just like, "Oh honey...no...no, you can't."
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threadsun · 1 year
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Nahaha you make it sound so easy tho 😭
Im scared to share special interest cuz they’re just weird but hey when someone makes it clear they’re listening to me and genuinely interested I’m on the verge of tears it’s such a nice feeling—
-JDA here-
OoO the giant uh,,, hare??? Makes its even better just laying there,,, also it looks alive which makes the old people look savage but hey they’re happy !!
Right !! I’m not the one to cry with video games, except I totally am, so when I saw that scene of -uh spoiler alert if you’re planning to play life is strange just don’t read this???- Chloe all happy cuz her father isn’t dead but she’s on a wheelchair I :(( nah, I told my friend and she was like “oh righ lol” LIKE LOL??? EXCUSE ME MY MENTAL HEALTH IS GONE—
Oh !! Joint pain sucks !! I got surgery and all that and now sometimes my legs hurt and shit and when I move it just- POPS! Uh, it feels weird but I mean nothing much I can do about it-
-also I read that your ear is still dead but you’re fine so I’m glad !!-
Yeah, it gets easier once you kind of accept the fact that there's always gonna be people who will be annoyed by you. Nothing you can do to stop it, so might as well embrace your interests! Besides, I'd never want to be friends with someone who's not at least a little annoying, cause if they're not annoying at all that means they're hiding a large part of themself from me so we're not really friends. Idk if that makes sense? But yeah, I think more people should be annoying and obsessive about their interests, it makes the world more fun!
I like to imagine that it's a human-eating rabbit and they have the guns so they can hunt people to feed to their pet rabbit. It's an oddly like... endearing idea to me?
Yeah, like video games can get really emotional!! You've gotta be ready for it going in!! I remember playing a game called Tomai that was a really cute queer dating sim sorta thing with a fish guy and a reptile guy that you could fuck, but out of nowhere there was also this like... emotional conflict between the main character and his dad?? And as someone with major daddy issues, it fully made me shut down and not be able to enjoy the game at all. Especially because there was no warning so I was completely unprepared for it.
Yeah I've got bendy joints that pop out of place all the time and it sucks. Especially since typing too much can pop my fingers out of place, but writing is my favourite thing in the world ;-; And yeah, my right ear's still dead, but at least he had a good run lmao
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always-andromeda · 2 years
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Heyyy!! Idk if you’re still doing those matchups but uhhh here goes!!!
I’m 5’7 I think, got dirty blonde (like brass colored) hair and grey blue eyes! I’m pretty chubby but it’s like carried good I think. I’m 21, gonna be 22 in a month (Wtf???) also AFAB!
I really like history and playing video games! Like I will spend way too long playing stuff like The Sims and Stardew Valley. I’m super sweet and love to like be the mom friend. Baking is also a passion and I make really great cookies and pies! Puns are the main form of my humor. Also theater! I’m a self identified theater kid!
Sometimes I get kinda depressed and like sink into being all self isolating but I’m also perky and try and seem happy and okay to comfort people! Ooh also I get hyperfixations and love to read!! Also really want to go on a ghost hunt and can stand the fuck up for myself when pushed. I do not take rude people’s bullshit and if you earn my trust I will be ride or die forever.
Hope that’s not too much lmaoooo!
Author's Note | this absolutely isn't too much! thank you for opening up because you gave the perfect amount of information, bb!! I hope you enjoy my matchup!!
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I am matching you up with ✨ Klitzy!! ✨
I heavily headcanon that Klitz is very into theater and drama in general. It just makes sense. This guy totally would've been in the drama club if Eli and Matt wouldn't have made fun of him for it (and if his self esteem was better). He'd be enamored with your sense of humor and your love of history and video games.
I wrote a little headcanon list where he plays the Sims, but imagine this guy playing Stardew Valley? He would love to start a multiplayer farm with you. He'd have profit margins on crops down to a science and he'd be dead set on collecting all the scarecrows. And he's actually good at fishing! Aside from those little things, he'd immediately be trying to figure out how to marry your character. He'd make it an entire production, decorating the patch of land beside Master Canoli before making his pixel farmer propose to yours. And he will get emotional as if he was proposing to you in real life and will insist on taking you to Ginger Island as part of the "honeymoon."
Klitzy understands what it's like being the supportive person for friends. So when he gets to know you, before you know it, he'll be your ride or die.
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dreamescapeswriting · 2 years
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Yea it can be, but if I have no motivation then it can be less fun. I've built some decent things in the past but nothing amazing. I havent played the sims yet but i've wanted to get it, the building aspect of it seems fun. I remember when I played animal crossing new leaf, i would spend a good time decorating my house. Yea, i collected them when I was in like elementary school, which resulted in me decorating it with both barbie and mickey mouse clubhouse stickers, and its so old that its kinda breaking. Its in the garage at the moment but nothing hard to pull out. I keep my favorites in a pencil box i've had for ages (I remember being very happy when I completed the eeveelutions.) They should! I think they have an app but not an actual website sadly enough. OHh that sounds fun and pretty nice of her. OH, whats your favorite pokemon? Mine's Lugia. you're welcome! Im sure i will too, i should def go book hunting at some point to see if i can find anything to read in my spare time. ohhh good choices! although lovesong is a title track (although would it be considered a b-side in the repackage album?? if it is so its kinda both ig?? idk) some of my picks are Oi and Rodeo as well as Ghost by Monsta X, they're such bops I love em (I have the beginning of ghost in my head currently) I also really love the tortoise and the hare as well as freeze by stray kids !! and cant forget the adorable song known as Twinkle Twinkle by ONF. I also dig desire by ATEEZ. Many are songs i'd repeat (especially once they get inside of my head)
For real, as long as you have the right motivation it can be fun. I tend to put on youtube/netflix and just go for it if I'm honest. That's how I've been doing some cross stitching lately. Just binging true crime on youtube haha. Honestly the sims game is so good for building! Mine is currently broken because of some custom content I have so I need to fix that T-T
Awh! I've always been sucking at decorating my home on animal crossing T-T Even my island is pretty boring haha, it's mostly all just flowers...Literally flowers are everywhere. I DO MISS ANIMAL CROSSING NEW LEAF THOUGH T-T I want to play it so so bad, I used to spend hours on it!
My favourite pokemon are pretty basic 🤡 It's Eevee and Squirtle T-T I REEEEALLLLYYY want to get them tattooed but my tattooist is against it haha
Please let me know if you do! I'll be happy to give recs if you need any based on tropes ect.
Oh shit yeah! I was thinking of the repackage 🤡😭😭😭 I'm actually dumbsa fmnabfkhdabfdaf. Oooo! I haven't listened to much of Monsta X but some of my favourite songs are "She's the one" "middle of the night" mfhbafkafdaf I love them. Even my mum likes "she's the one" There are so many good songs out there oh my gooosshhhh
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jameui · 2 years
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CLIFFHANGER
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PAIRING: Park Jongseong, Park Sunghoon, Sim Jaeyun x M!Reader
WARNING: mention of rape, polyamorous relationship, not proof read
GENRE: Angst, Fluff
SUMMARY: Sometimes story can just leave you happy or sad, but sometimes make you question what comes next.
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"Is she really that pretty?" You started a question out of nowhere with your friends looking at you, finding your question a little too unnecessary. It was clear as day that the school prince would never like you even in the most friendly way. All he'll ever see of you was a background character who doesn't deserve a chance to shine. You just exist, but he could care less. It was none of his business to meddle with the lives of other people, so the correct question here was why were you still trying so hard to get him to notice you?
It hasn't been long since you had first realized that you actually have feelings for Jongseong a.k.a. Jay, the captain of the football team. Jongseong always shows off his great talent when it comes to sports, but it's only not in sports that he excels beyond anyone's expectations, but he is also a top student in his class and a hardworking Student Council Vice President, who loves to propose various of projects that could be helpful for the school.
One certain proposed project of his is what was currently happening right now as you sat with your friends in an outdoor table in a shaded area of the campus. Jongseong had the idea to return to the tradition of celebrating the foundation of the school with booths that can help students to feel motivated and inspired to come to their school for their fun events.
Thinking about all of these you could just sigh with a smile on your face, proud of Jongseong even if he never really acknowledged your presence that much. "I really wish Jongseong and SC Pres isn't really dating."
One of your friend, Sunoo raised you a brow. "Hey, it's not your right to guess whether or not they're dating. Besides, there're more handsome guys you can check out." Sunoo replied to you, while he started to scan his eyes over the crowd, on the hunt for a certain man that can make you happy, unlike Jongseong who could never. "Like him!" Sunoo pointed over your shoulders, Niki, his soon to be boyfie, following where Sunoo's finger was pointing. "He looks totally perfect for you."
You turned your body to look at the male Sunoo was pointing only to see that he was pointing at the Student Council President's cousin, Sim Jaeyun. "Him?! Uh—Pft! No! Hello, do you see my face? I'm not even as half as beautiful as a flower."
"And yet you think the day will still come when Jongseong will finally notice you?" Sunoo deadpanned, Niki smiling away and covering the male's mouth to avoid anymore words to come out from him.
You just pouted with your head down, only able to accept the words that Sunoo spat out of his mouth. You were always boasting how you completely had the looks to become Jongseong's boyfriend and continuously fantasized about you giving him the best time of his life as his beloved boyfriend, you getting all red every single time. Sometimes, you just really love to go all in with your imagination that you never fail to hurt yourself over and over again.
This is what Sunoo and Niki always worries about you. You forgot to distinguish your reality over your fantasies. It's hard for them to tell you that your dreams is far from being possible to happen considering how you are always happy with your made up scenarios and they didn't want to ruin your smile. They just hope that you'd never go over the fence as to think that Jongseong really does love you or else you'd be the only one to hurt yourself in the end.
It's masochistic of you to keep on adding salt to your open wounds when you're already getting pretty fucked up by your own family back at home. You really never saw the purpose why it would always happen, but now you just grew to live with it. It's almost like it's already a part of your life. Pain is your bestfriend.
"I don't think I can keep up with my life anymore." You thought out loud, shocking both Niki and Sunoo who, for the first time, heard you speak like that when all you ever speak of is Jongseong and how you like Jongseong. "It gets pretty hard you know to believe that something or someone will actually make my life happier when all I ever get from it is a shot to the heart." You stated out with a small chuckle, laying your head on top your folded arms on the table and closed your eyes for a moment to think about everything that's happened to you.
Midway through your train of thoughts, you were snapped awake and Sunoo seeming to be interrupted before he even got to speak as someone from the booths came to your table. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt anything?" Sunoo smiled at the person and shook his head, before looking down at you. "I'm glad to hear that." They chuckled. "I would like to ask if you guys are interested in coming to our booth? It would really be a big help."
You looked at Niki and Sunoo with your chin still glued to the table, the two looking down at you if you had an answer already, so you just sighed knowing these two always wanted you to have the last say in almost everything. "We'll think about it." You replied and the person grins.
"I understand. When you've finally decided to have our booth a try, you can find us just by the cherry blossom tree. My name's Park Sunghoon, so just ask for me and I'll be there." The male, Sunghoon, gave you a wink and gave you a flyer before he left, you straightening your body up and took the flyer to see it.
You knitted your brows, intrigued. "A hugging booth?" You scoffed and looked up from the paper towards Niki and Sunoo who already looked uninterested just by hearing the name of the booth. "Oh, c'mon. It's just—"
"No." The two cut you off mid-sentence, you raising your hands in surrender and folded the paper to keep it inside your pocket. It's funny to think that they want you to have the last decision, but last minute they will oppose to it. Always.
"If you two won't, fine. I feel interested in these free hugs." You chuckled and told the two that you'll be back as you head your way to where the booth was supposedly located, only seeing the one and only booth that was under the shade of the beautiful tree. You smiled and jogged your way up to the stand, Sunghoon catching you by the side of his eye and turned your way to wave a hand hello at you.
Stopping at the front of the booth you smiled at the taller male who reciprocated the gesture. "Glad you chose to come." Sunghoon stated and looked behind him to see if the booth was already ready to accept customers. Then, from the small dome a head popped out of it and gave Sunghoon a thumbs up indicating that they were all set, so the male turned to look at you. "Come this way, uh.."
"M/n." You replied, Sunghoon nodding his head in acknowledgement.
"Come this way, M/n. Since you're our first customer, everything you do is completely free." Sunghoo gave you a knowing wink that actually made you blush, as you laughed awkwardly, scratching your nape. "Jaeyun is a nice person, so I'm—"
"Jaeyun?!" Your shock took Sunghoon by surprise whilst he nod his head in reply.
He tilts his head to the side and pulled his brows together in question. "Do you have... a problem with Jake?" He felt relief endow him when he saw you give him a shake of your head, Sunghoon putting back on the smile on his face. "In that case, will you be alright on your own now? Where you have to be is just by that dome."
You nod your head and started walking up to the entrance of the mini dome just down the small hill where the booth was found. It was not a far travel down, since the hill wasn't too steep, just enough to be elevated from the ground.
The moment you were already by the entrance, you got in after taking in a deep breathe. The inside of the dome was beautiful and was filed with lovely paintings and decorations that just added beauty to the atmosphere of the place, your mouth falling open in awe. "Woah..." You uttered out, getting distracted by the ethereal interior design of the place almost forgetting that you weren't alone inside until you bumped into something hard, that something hard being someone's chest as you took a few steps back and looked up at the male.
There he is. Sim Jaeyun. The man who first took your heart without him realizing it. You really admit that Jaeyun was a kind person, always thinking about the sake of the others besides himself, but never forgetting that he had to look out for himself as well. All in all he was a completely balanced person.
"M/n! Didn't really think you'd be our first ever customer." Jake chuckled with one hand buried in his pocket before sighing and ruffled your H/s hair that made you knit your brows up at him. "Now, come here." Jake opened his arms for you to lock yourself in between them.
You hesitated to walk up to him at first, but soon loosened up and gently threw yourself into his arms and the slightly older male wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you closer for a tighter, warmer hug. Jake smiled widely, with a small giggle.
It took Jake half a minute to realize that he was feeling a wet patch forming on his chest, then snapping his head downwards to catch your muffled sobs and hands clutching onto his shirt tightly. Jake widened his eyes, frightened and pulled himself away from you, so he could get a complete look of you and just as he expected you were letting tears drip down your face, your head hung low a little. "Oh my! What happened? Did I hug too tight?"
You shook your head at his question and hugged him again. "Please, don't stop hugging me. Everything just hurts, so please don't stop." You told him, your hands clenching your hands on the back of his shirt weakly as you continued to sob and cried on his chest, Jake not knowing what to do.
The small curtain to the dome opens and Jake sees Sunghoon who had a questioning look in his face, Jake averting his eyes up towards Sunghoon, his ears catching the noise of your sobbing. Suddenly Sunghoon's eyes knitted angrily at Jake and mouthed 'what did you do' Jake shrugged his shoulders, before Sunghoon looked back to check if there were a line forming, but sadly their booth weren't that much eye-catching, but still grateful enough since they have nothing to worry about while they take care of you.
Jake wraps his arms around you and caresses your back soothingly to try and calm you down, whispering sweet words into your ears. "M/n, I know we're not that close, but if it's not against your will, do you mind if I hear the reason behind your tears?" Jake asked you in his language, remembering that you came from a foreign country and used English as their native language.
"Mom and dad... they..." You tried to tell him, but your voice continued to get stuck in your throat and all the words you wanted to let out fails to flow out of your mouth.
Jake understood that you wanted to tell him, but he doesn't want to force it out of you so he situated you on a bench being in the middle of the two tall males as Jake waited for you to calm down.
Once your harsh sobbings had finally died down, Jake carefully wiped the tears away from your face, Sunghoon not actually bothered by it and just saw it as Jake being his thoughtful self as usual. "Mom and dad... Jakey, please don't make me say it." You said, the nickname moving past your lips naturally, even though you tried so hard not to call him that anymore.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow looking at Jake, thinking what the hell did Jake know that he didn't know. Judging by the nickname given, he knew there was something between you and Jake. If it wasn't hapoening in the present, it might have been in the past. I mean, it was fine, but he was quite a nosy person and always sticks his nose in someone else's business. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Jake gave you a sad smile and fixed your hair. "I told you many times already that you can stay at my house for a while—"
"Jaeyun." You cut him off, your voice stern, but calm, so Jake won't think that you were angry at him. "Why do you still try to solve my problems? Not even your kindness can—"
"'Cause you're making it clear that all you want is help." Jake answered you, you looking up at Jake, the latter sighing before he hooked an arm around your shoulders. "Listen, M/n. We may have ended things between us after just a year, that won't—"
"Wait, you had history with M/n?!" Sunghoon gasped, then putting two and two together, that's when it hits him. "Oh, that's right! I remember now!" Sunghoon exclaimed, before he was able to read the expression on your face.
"It didn't end too well." You replied with a broken smile.
No matter how hard you try to deny that you and Jake had been in a relationship a few years ago, you just can't help yourself, but to let whatever you were used to doing with Jake slip your tongue. It's so hard to deny that you were happy with him when all he ever done to you was bring light and joy to your life, memories that was worth treasuring, nights to remember. Everything Jake did for you made it so hard for you to just let go of him so easily. You still love the male and you tried to distract yourself by laying your eyes onto somebody else.
If you could describe Jake in one word, that would be 'loyal'. Truly, he was as loyal as a dog that even on that one rainy day where you ditched him and told him over the phone that you were breaking up with him, he stayed on his spot and waited for your arrival. Poor Jake, he didn't even think that you were genuine when you told him that you were breaking things up with him. He just thought it was a prank from you, so you could prank him when you arrive.
Alas, the sun started to set and Jake was still seated on his spot, still waiting for you, the bouquet of flowers in his hands slowly dying as petals started to rip itself off from the base, but Jake's trust in you to arrive never faltered.
Jake didn't know the reason why you had to say it just by over the phone when you could have told him personally. It hurt him the most, but if it did hurt him why did his heart still want to choose you? All it ever wants is you. Every single time, he fails not to think about your beautiful smile and gorgeous face. It was ethereal. He just misses you so much.
A few months in and he was still in question why you had to let him receive such a painful phone call from you. Did he do something bad to you? If he did, you could have just told him and he'd fix it immediately. How could you just leave him hanging like that? Wondering why you would do such a thing.
Fortunately, Jake was not the type of person to hold grudges, so that one day when he saw you clinging on to the Student Council Vice President, he was happy to see that you were just doing alright, even when he couldn't. It was both a joyful and painful sight to see you being happy with another guy besides him.
"M/n... I.." Jake started, but closed his mouth before the words can even come out.
Sunghoon was able to notice the awkwardness between the two of you and decided to break the ice, getting a little bit caught in the drama you and Jake were having. "Hey! Maybe we can all be friends.. uh, again? Anyways, I found a sushi place dow—"
"Don't bother, sunbae." You calmly cut Sunghoon off his words, not wanting to waste his voice over something you would never want to happen. You smiled at him gratefully. "The offer is kind enough, but I'm afraid I won't be able to go." You said and stood up from where you were sat.
"Oh..." Sunghoon let out, his face going droopy with a small pout on his lips. "Well, then..."
You gave Jake one more glance and after that, you started to make your way out of the small dome, Sunghoon following close behind you since he was in charge of guarding the booth.
Upon leaving the booth, there stood Sunoo and Niki who was already waiting for you just a few distances away from the booth, Sunoo rolling his eyes with a sigh of relief. "Finally. Thought you were going to be in there forever."
"Sorry." You told them with a small chuckle, remembering what happened inside the booth.
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A little later after lunch, students were starting to gather around the hall to witness a very special program specially made by the student council members that made you all hyped up and giddy upon the thought that you get to see Jonseong perform on stage. "When the hell is the program gonna start? I gotta see my Jongseong perform!" You whispered to Sunoo who only gave you an eye roll and a smack to your head. "Ow!"
"Learn to limit things that needs to be limited." Sunoo sassed, you mocking him by making weird faces, earning a glare from Sunoo to which you just smiled at.
Soon, the program was had begun and everyone was shouting for the student council associates and cheering them on as they continued to give every student of your school a performance to remember.
There were tons of performances that was created and showcased by the student council members, but all you could ever capture was the moment where Jongseong was requested to dance to a sensual song and of course as a boy who had the biggest, fattest crush on Jongseong you went hysterical when he suddenly lifted his shirt up to show his wahsboards abs that you literally started to tear up at how you were enjoying the sight Sunoo and Niki were just laughing at you telling you how whipped you are for the Vice President, more than ever.
You were on the way of calming yourself down when the voice of the student council president boomed through the loud speakers, you abruptly losing your smile as you snapped your head up towards where she was standing. "And now, for a performance from my handsome cousin, give it up for Sim Jaeyun!" She announced and everyone shouted into fits of joy and bursted out clapping their hands to give Jake a round of applause.
As this was said, your eyes had met hers and you were suddenly brought back to the past. The reason why you had to hurt your own self and Jake, who had nothing to do with everything.
She stood in front of you, her arms crossed against her chest as she smirked down at your body. She bent her knees to level your height, her head tilted to the side. "I tried to tell you calmly, M/n, but you really had to be so disobedient." She said with crazed eyes opened widely, angrily looking down at you. "You brought this upon yourself, fucking slut. So, learn to accept your fate and face the consequences." She told you, one hand swiftly hitting you across your face that got your head turning to the side. "All yours, boys. Make this boy regret for ever existing."
"No! Don't!" You squirmed in your place held bound by the ropes tied to your ankles and wrist, fearing for your life as you tried to get away from them, but to no avail. You watched Minha fade behind the group of men as fat tears poured down your cheeks. "PLEASE! SAVE ME!"
You were brought to reality, the same salty tears from the past falling down from yours as you felt your knees growing weak, as you started to feel yourself fall, but was luckily caught by the person who was behind you. Your head looked at the male and saw Sunghoon smiling down at you with his dimples showing and before he could even help you up, you unconsciously allowed yourself to hug the male, burying your face on his chest as you let your tears flow down your face.
Sunghoon was surprised by the sudden embrace, but his expression softened and took his turn to wrap his arms around your waist, as he gave you all the time you need to cry yourself away, catching the attention of Sunoo and Niki who had both their mouths open in shock.
Drunk in your tears, you lifted your head up, your eyesight being blurred by the fluid in your eyes before you stood up in your tippy toes and pressed your lips onto his that caused the three to become shocked by the action.
You didn't know what got inside your head that you did it. You later realized what you had done when you pulled away and saw the face Sunghoon had, you widening your eyes, also hearing that the noise around the place had stopped. You checked to look at the stage and saw Jake's confused facials, all eyes of those who attended the program was on both you and Sunghoon who had made such a scene in such an open space. Even Sunoo and Niki was shocked that you would let yourself let this happen. "Oh my goodness. I—uh... no... I.." You stammered, your eyes shaking whilst you pulled yourself away from Sunghoon, hesitantly looking up to look at Minha who didn't like what she was seeing. "I... oh no. Don't please. I'm sorry. I—" You tried to form appropriate words, but that day was all you could ever remember, the eyes on you making it suddenly hard for you to breathe.
"You ruined everything for me, again."
To save yourself from getting more humiliation, you pushed through the crowd of students and ran to the the comfort room where you were able to calm yourself down. You got inside one cubicle and locked yourself in, curling yourself up on top of the toilet and before you could even stop it, the trauma you tried so hard to forget came running back inside your head, the pain in your body lingering, the unwanted touches, every single violation they had done to your body, all of it coming back once again. "No!" You screamed, harshly covering your ears as if it would help you ease the situation you were in.
"You made him cry! Stop it!" You heard a voice outside of the bathroom, but it only stopped there and didn't come any closer. "Did you even see how scared he was?"
"I barely even know, M/n hoobae. Why are you blaming all of these on me?" It was Sunghoon's voice and that sassy like voice, you knew it could only belong to Sunoo who only wanted to do nothing to you, but protect you.
Then, another voice was heard. "He's right, Sunoo. We can't just jump into conclusions and point fingers." Niki. The only person who was capable of calming Sunoo down.
You were only listening to the arguments that you got startled when you heard a knock on the entrance door of the restroom. "M/n? Are you in there? We saw you come this way?" Hearing his voice, you couldn't help yourself, but to let your tears burst out of your eyes as you opened the door to the cubicle you were in and walked out of it weakly, Jake furrowing his eyes worriedly as you made your way up to him and gently placed your head on his chest. "I got you, M/n." Jake said, placing one of his hand on the back of your head and caressed your hair to help calm you down.
"...I want to tell you, Jaeyun... the reason I broke up with you." You said over your tears, Jake guiding you to sit you down on a bench near the restroom, your friends and Sunghoon following along. "Jake, it's... all about Minha." You started, Jake knitting his brows as he let you continue. "It's your choice if you don't want to believe me or not, but for a year I've been abused by your step cousin who wanted you all to herself." You continued, facing Jake with glossy eyes. "All because... she loved you more than just a family relative."
"What?!" Jake exclaimed, shocked at the sudden revelation. He knew he couldn't trust Minha. He knew there was nothing good that's gonna happen trying to be around her. "Oh my goodness, M/n. I'm so sorry. Please wake up!"
What?
"Wake up, M/n!"
"Bitch, you better wake the fuck up!"
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You jolted up awake in your own bed and saw your friends standing in a circle, with worried face on their faces. "See? He isn't dead, Sunoo." Niki told the said male who just scoffed and turned his head away from you.
"Babe!" Sunghoon and Jake, two of your three wonderful boyfriends happily calls out to you, Jake on the verge of tearing up that made you chuckle.
"I just had the best and worst nightmare ever." You told them, then the door opens with Jongseong who had all kinds of medicines in his hands frantically picking up those that fell as he held his tears back, but could no longer hold them back the moment he saw you awake.
"PRINCE!" Jongseong exclaimed, bawling his eyes out, running to you to give you a hug. "Sunoo here told us you were poisoned by what I cooked last night and so I got worried and had to.." Jongseong tried to explain as fast as possibke, but his tears had to just stop him and fell like a waterfall from his eyes.
"OKAY! WHERE'S MY FAVORITE BESTIE?!" Minha, your best girl friend stepped inside your dorm room.
"Minha! Oh My Gosh! You won't believe what happened in my dream!" You told her, Jongseong's arms still wrapped around you.
Minha was just approaching you when he saw Jake holding his tears back as best as he can. "Ew, what's Jake the dog doing here?" Jake only glared at him as she rolled her eyes and found a seat on the edge of your bed. "Spill, sis." And so you started to tell them the eventful dream you just had, Minha grossed out by the fact that she was inlove with her own cousin in your dream. "Glad it was just a dream. Stupid Jake seems way out of my type of man and Jake is my fucking cousin. So, that's an ew."
You laughed and was glad that everything was just a dream. ...Really, really glad.
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nat-20s · 3 years
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me looking at my own post: you could fanfic out of this!
Anyway here’s how I think a typical “Martin’s Poetry Corner” would go!
~*~
Martin: And for my second thing, we’re going back to the poetry corner!
Jon: Again? Didn’t you have a poetry corner last week?
Martin: It’s been well over two months since the last poetry corner, my dear. And just for that comment I’m going to up the amount of the poetry corner. From now on this podcast is me reading poetry interjected with some guy talking nonsense.
Jon: You say that like the majority of our audience wouldn’t prefer that. Also, some guy? I’m wounded! Earlier you were calling me ‘beloved husband’ and ‘cherished one’ and now I’m ‘some guy’? What did I do to deserve that level of downgrade?
Martin: You decried the poetry corner!
Jon: I decried nothing! It was a purely non-judgmental comment on the frequency of it. If you want to do poem every week, I have nothing against that.
Martin: Hmm. I might test you on that. I know the whole point of this thing is to share things we think are lovely, and I do find all the poems I read lovely, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have an ulterior motive.
Jon: Oh? And what might your nefarious hidden agenda be?
Martin: I’m certain you’re the only one that would find it nefarious, but I can, must, shall, and will find a poem that affects you. Now, I’m sure the listeners at home would decry that goal. After all Mary Oliver, Maya Angelou, Wendy Cope, and Langston Hughes all did nothing. He didn’t even blink at “The Two-Headed Calf”, surely there can’t possibly-
Jon, laughing, which severely limits how much he’s able to sell his faux offense: I’ve been affected by poetry before!
Martin: Name one poem you had an actual strong reaction to.
Jon, smugly: It’s almost certainly not one you know. It’s called “Streets” and it’s by this really obscure author. God, what was his name? K was his middle initial I believe?
Martin, laughing: Piss off!
Jon: Well it’s true! I felt something at all of your poetry.
Martin: Liar! I very distinctly remember you calling it ‘almost affecting’! And you declared I was enamored with Keats, which doesn’t even make sense, we have wildly different composition styles.
Jon: You’re working from incomplete information. That tape was from my first read through. It was the reread where they got me.
Martin: Reread? I thought you hated rereading things?
Jon: Typically, yes. But. Ah. It was during the year you were gone.
Martin: Oh. Oh, love.
Jon: It’s been half a decade since then, Martin, I can assure you I’m fine. Though, I suppose reflecting on it, the affecting quality was more to do with who had written the poetry itself. Even now, you could write a grocery list for fun and I’d be hopelessly endeared by it.
Martin: Shut up.
Jon: I shall not! It’s been a hell of a road to get here, I think it’s more than acceptable to flaunt how much I like my husband, especially when he’s doing something he enjoys. In fact, I think it’d be more than appropriate if I did one of your poems for one of my wonderful things next week.
Martin: Absolutely not! Jon, there is a certain level of ‘embarrassing old men in love’ we’re allowed to be in the public sphere, and that would exceed it by, fuck, tenfold? Our quota would be wiped out for the year. For the next five years. No. Besides, my poems aren’t meant for anyone’s eyes and ears but my own, and occasionally you when you’re being nosy.
Jon, with audible shit eating grin: So you’re saying you wouldn’t like to hear your poetry in my voice?
Martin, having a gay panic despite being married to this man for years: I..uh..
Jon: Yes?
Martin: I would..I would like that very much. Privately. Er, please.
Jon: Well, since you asked so nicely. I suppose the poetry corner shall remain yours, for now.
Martin: Thank you for your grand generosity and understanding. Speaking of, should I get to the actual poem? I think I might have a winner with this one.
Jon: Please do.
Martin: So this week I’m bringing a poem written by an, as far as I can tell, unnamed ninth century Irish Monk-
Jon: -ninth century? Decided to abandon the contemporary route then?
Martin: Somewhat? The poem was written in the ninth century, but no one wants to hear me butcher the original, so I’m going to read the English translation by Seamus Heaney, which was done in 2006, so sort of contemporary? Depending how you look at it? Anyway, this is Pangur Bán:
Pangur Bán and I at work,
Adepts, equals, cat and clerk:
His whole instinct is to hunt,
Mine to free the meaning pent.
More than loud acclaim, I love
Books, silence, thought, my alcove.
Happy for me, Pangur Bán
Child-plays round some mouse’s den.
Truth to tell, just being here,
Housed alone, housed together,
Adds up to its own reward:
Concentration, stealthy art.
Next thing an unwary mouse
Bares his flank: Pangur pounces.
Next thing lines that held and held
Meaning back begin to yield.
All the while, his round bright eye
Fixes on the wall, while I
Focus my less piercing gaze
On the challenge of the page.
With his unsheathed, perfect nails
Pangur springs, exults and kills.
When the longed-for, difficult
Answers come, I too exult.
So it goes. To each his own.
No vying. No vexation.
Taking pleasure, taking pains,
Kindred spirits, veterans.
Day and night, soft purr, soft pad,
Pangur Bán has learned his trade.
Day and night, my own hard work
Solves the cruxes, makes a mark.
Isn’t that just delightful? Jon what did you-holy shit!
Jon, voice tight: What?
Martin: You teared up! You’re affected! Fuckin’ gottem!! I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known that the way to Jonathan Sims’ soul was through a poem about a man feeling kinship with his cat. Incredible.
Jon, slightly sniffling: It’s a very nice poem! You read it because it’s a very nice poem!
Martin: Yes it is! That doesn’t discount the fact that I have read poems about love and hardships and finding joy in being alive and it’s the one about the cat that gets to you. Of course. I love you.
Jon: I love you too. Even if you are a bit too victorious over this. I think that will wrap it up for this week?
Martin: Think so! And as we say at the end of every episode, uh, the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, but through cat poems from a thousand years ago.
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trensu · 3 years
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Jon's Creeping Terror Fun Fact Corner!
You know how Cecil has his Fun Fact Science Corner segment on his radio show? Well, Jon has his own show produced by The Magnus Studio. It's an educational kids show all about the Entities of Fear!! It's a very specific kind of kids show. You know the ones. Those kids shows that children are absolutely mad for but any adult in their vicinity is left deeply unsettled by them? Yep. On the surface, the show seems fine but if any adult dwells on the content for more than five minutes, they are left feeling very very unnerved, especially since the host, one Jonathan Sims, seems more than a little unhinged half the time.
The show is so popular it gets almost 15 whole episodes! (It gets cancelled at 14 bc at that point it had received far too many retrospective complaints from parents to continue any further). Sometimes, the episodes even have special guests!! Although it got cancelled, you can obviously still find it on the internet if you know where to look. There's even compilations of all the show's best Unhinged moments.
--
The Vast Episode
Jon: Today's episode is about the Vast! And to tell us more about it we have Simon Fairchild visiting us. Kids, if you ever see this man in person, please run very far in the opposite direction.
Simon: Thank you for that warm introduction, Jon. Now children, who here likes ROLLER COASTERS?
Jon: And that's it for our special guest [proceeds to literally kick an old man until he's off screen] Do not trust this man and please be careful when going on roller coasters in the future.
--
The Lonely Episode
Jon, reading from the teleprompter: We have an expert of the Lonely with us, Mr. Peter Lu--what? No!! Why's he here? Get him off my set! What do you mean no? I don't care how much funding he gives the studio!! He tried to take Martin away!
[scene cuts off and starts back up with Martin sitting next to Jon, looking particularly sweet and cuddly in a knitted jumper]
Jon: Here we have m-my Martin, I-I mean my ASSISTANT Martin Blackwood. Say hi to Mr. Blackwood, children.
[Jon is a twitchy mess and cannot even look at Martin's direction. Martin looks flushed]
Martin: Er, yes, h-hello.
Jon: Martin has experience [this is hissed with all the venom he can muster] with the Lonely. He's going to teach us the best way to avoid that evil, conniving bast--
Martin, hastily cuts in: Yes, well! Kids, who do you have in your life that you love? It can be anyone! Your siblings, your pets, your friends! Anyone at all!
[at the edge of the set, just barely visible, Peter can be seen crammed into a cage gleefully guarded by Daisy]
(it's during this episode Jon finds out that he's not allowed to use naughty words on the show. All the stuff with the murder and the skinning and the worms and such is fine! Just no cussing. Jon is befuddled and aghast. This is why Hopworth was not allowed as a guest; he's a very swear-y man)
--
The Corruption Episode
[Jon is seen clutching a jar of ashes throughout the entire episode with absolutely no explanation as to what it is or why it's there]
Jon, gesturing manically: and that's why it's important to see a doctor when you're sick and have an exterminator on speed dial.
[Martin comes onto the scene with a worried look on his face. The screen goes to black for a moment, then reappears with Jon still clutching his jar but looking significantly calmer. He smiles at the camera and it almost looks normal]
Jon: To finish the episode, can you demonstrate the proper handwashing technique we taught you at the start? Be sure to tell your parents what you've learned about infection control and have them show you where the CO2 is kept in your home!
--
The Hunt Episode
Jon, earnestly happy: This is my best friend Daisy! She's going to help us learn about the Hunt. She's one of the bravest people I know.
[Daisy turns away to hide a shy smile before clearing her throat and starting in on a rehearsed lecture. The episode ends with her and Jon making the children repeat the "don't listen to the blood, listen to the quiet" mantra and also "all cops are bastards."]
(Basira, in post production: ...yeah, that's fair.)
--
The Flesh Episode
Parents are horrified when they hear their children singing "you are what you eat, meat is meat!" whenever they play after that episode airs.
(Martin: Just to be clear, we're encouraging cannibalism??
Jon: no! ...maybe? i don't know, Martin, they told me it tested well with the focus group children
Martin: yes, okay, but WHY did you come up with that jingle?
Jon: Don't look at me like that, I'm not crazy, Martin! I wouldn't just eat a person. But, well, if someone asked me to eat them like, after they died, I wouldn't necessarily say no...?
This conversation was recorded and leaked somehow. And that's how Actual Cannibal Jon Sims became a trending meme. He has to do a PR statement confirming that he "has never knowingly eaten a person" and that that was "a completely hypothetical discussion." This convinces as many people as you think it would.)
--
The Stranger Episode
Nikola: I don't much like children. Not enough skin on them to do anything really fun.
Jon: Why are you--how did you even get in?? S-Security! Someone come get her out of--
Nikola: oh, but I have information for the little ones! [she pulls out a basket of high-end skincare products and looks directly into the camera with her featureless face] These are the lotions that are best for Archivist flesh but I'm sure they work for the kiddies as well! You all want to grow up to have lots of beautiful skin don't you? Here, let me show you how to use them! [attempt to lotion Jon]
Jon: [flinches away] Security! O-or Daisy. DAISY!
[growling is heard and we get a flash of a wolfish Daisy body-slamming Nikola to the ground. The rest of the episode has Tim shoving Jon off screen and going on a rant about circuses and how to best explode them. This becomes one of their most popular episode amongst the children]
--
Breekon and Hope show up occasionally in the background of various episodes and become something like an Easter egg for fans of the show.
Anyway, I love the idea of kids adoring socially awkward, neurotic mess of a man Jonathan Sims. Jon is completely confounded by his popularity but also, he's glad of it bc that means the children will be more prepared if they ever encounter any of the Entities (most parents think it's all fiction, except for the ones who've had Encounters with one of the entities; Jon ends up with a sort of underground cult following comprised of survivors of fear encounters)
I blame @lemonisinplay (and Jonny Sims) for the entirety of this post, tbh. She came up with the name and half the stuff here XD
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lesyasun · 3 years
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A while ago I received an interesting question about game aesthetics. The person in that ask really struggles with downloading stuff and finding their own style. They asked me how I came up with what you see on my screenshots. Have you ever thought that you can recognize whose screenshot this is by just a quick glance? Is editing important in photoshop? How to take beautiful screenshots? Today let’s talk about how different one single game could be for each of us and what really makes this mysterious “sims aesthetics”.
EDIT: Sorry, it turned out to be huge with lots of random thoughts :D I hope at least one percent of these is useful!
NOTE: English is not my native language, I apologize for possible grammar or spelling mistakes. I tried my best in writing this!
Ok, let’s imagine that you’re a person who just obtained the sims game or just want a nice fresh start and demolished your download folder. (We all need fresh starts sometimes, right?) The struggle is that you have no idea which style you like the best. There are so many sims blogs. Everyone seems to enjoy what they post but you’re a little bit lost in that jungle. Don’t worry! I’ll try to guide you and share my thoughts.
STEP 1 Choose your general style
I roughly divide all sims blogs that I see on my dashboard into a couple of so-called styles. I’ve been doing it in my mind for ages. I like following different people and seeing diferent editing. None of them are better than others. I hope you understand that it’s just a matter of liking. Ok, here we go. Let me put this sorting hat on you :D
1. Realistic 
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Screenshot by @luchiatores
Perhaps, it’s the most important thing that you should decide for yourself. Wether you should use realistic textures in your game or you’d prefer to stick to more cartoonish maxis match ones. Why is it so important, to my mind? I like things that match. Just imagine game Witcher 3 where characters and surroundings are realistic. And now imagine Minecraft where things are pixelated. Both games are great, both games have certain beautiful styles. And now imagine Geralt hunting for monsters in a pixelated Minecraft swamp. A bit strange, isn’t it? :D The same applies to Sims. If you put a super realistic skintone on your sim and put a Maxis ponytail, that would probably look strange too. If you choose this style, just try to dig for a good quality content, start following simblrs in this style. Unfortunately, I’m not an expert when it comes to realistic content. So, try to drop an ask to someone whose realistic game you like. There are so many helpful people around in the sims community no matter what style they have :)
2. Trully Maxis Match
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screenshot by @whattheskell
This is a complete opposite of a realistic style. I’ve always called people who use a lot of original maxis textures “trully maxis” :D If you can decorate a house without any custom content, if you like the way original hairstyles look, if you like Maxis clothes, you should go this way. From what I’ve spot after being so many years in the sims community, “trully” maxis simblr are so creative when it comes to storytelling. The stories that they write about either their sims/or maxis premades are so breathtaking. So much drama, so much fun. The only thing that I write about my screenshots is “Ok, this is my cat! Look, it can eat flowers and puke afterwardst! Yay! Cute”. If you choose this way, I can recommend you to check out @holleyberry, @didilysims or @moocha-muses. Obviously there are a lot more blogs that I follow. These people are just so sweet and helpful and they’re first who came to my mind. 
3. Bright Maxis Matchery
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screenshot by @muupi
This is where I refer myself to. This style is still Maxis but what stands out is the use of bright colours and saturated photoshopped pictures. Ah, my love for overedited pictures is endless <3 This is what I’m going to talk a lot below since it’s my cup of tea. It’s all about colours and pallete addiction. If you love looking at super bright/silly/cheery screenshots and they boost up your mood, than join the squad! 
Basically, Maxis match (I’ll just shorten for MM from now on) players avoid super shiny skins or hair textures and prefer to have content with Simlish letters instead of English ones. This is a very important factor for me when I choose paintings or prints for T-shirts. I don’t know, I feel like it’s so cute that sims can’t understand our languages, talk this funny gibberish simlish language. It’s cute! There are so so many people that I can recommend. @lina-cherie @keoni-chan @kahlenas They are first who came to my mind <3
4. Grungy/cosmic
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screenshot by @lilithpleasant 
I don’t know if these are suitable words :D But this is how I describe people’s game who like aliens/supernatural sims/grungy textures with or without bright colours as well. Just think would you prefer a bit of a grungy stuff or less-textured but cleaner MM? You always need to think about textures while you download stuff. I can recommend to check out @pooklet or @furbyq-sims 
5. Semi
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screenshot by @whysim 
You might ask me “Why am I not allowed to put a realistic skintone on a maxis sim? What the hell?” Of course, you are! Do it please, if you want. There are no rules, no restrictions. You CAN go semi-realistic, you CAN mix patterns, you CAN mix colours. There’s only one rule: please, enjoy what you do. Don’t be afraid to share your pictures on the Internet. There will always be people who can judje your style and say: “meh, it’s too dull, meh, it’s too bright, meh, too shiny, meh, too plain meh, meh, meh”. Just don’t pay attention and enjoy your game. As for semi-realistic I can recommend such wonderful people as @marvelann @lilith-sims @falkii @knowledgeaspiration 
A bit about my style: I’ve always loved cartoonish/bright style. I’ve never ever played with shiny textures. Before Tumblr era I just played either without CC or with a bunch of maxis recolours. How I came up with the idea of cartoonishness? Pretty simple. It’s a part of my personality, I think :) I’ve always loved Disney/Pixar movies. Cartoons just make life a lot funnier! They make me happy. I’m a pre-school teacher after all :D. You can’t imagine how many cartoons I’ve watched throughout my life. I can quote Peppa Pig and will never be tired of that :D Before Tumblr I just played some funny legacies (I’ve never finished any though :D) When I found out about Tumblr, and such great content that can make my game even more Disney looking, it just blew my mind! Every time when I download stuff, I imagine that I’m watching a Disney/Pixar or whatever studio cartoon. When I create sims, I feel like I’m a cartoon designer. Pretty silly, right? :D 
Let’s take a look at my screenshots from the past. I tried to find similar ones with a lot of greenery.
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2014
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2021
I stil like a lot of greenery. Editing has changed, photo angles have changed. But bright colours and Maxis stuff are forever in my heart <3
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Risa (2014)
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Gage (2021) 
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As I’m a big cartoon addict, I love recreating game/anime/cartoon characters. No matter, if they’re my favourite or requested ones. I love when my sims have different traits. I love when they’re funny looking/clumsy/absent-minded or when they’re evil/supernatural. When they are pirates/detectives/vampires or witches. This is my way of playing Sims. I love this game as it gives us possibilities to show your creativity, a chance to recreate our favourite characters. A chance to be a writer of storylines or if you’re bad at telling stories, just being “a cartoon designer” like me :)
STEP 2 Colour palettes
If you’ve chosen the path of “bright maxis matchery” than colour palettes are super important! Oh, you can’t imagine how addicted I am to certain colours. I can download GBs because of it.
Here are some of my favourite colour palettes:
1. Anna’s colours
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My absolutely favourite palette. I would download absolutely anything in these pretty colours. Just looking at them makes me so cozy *0* There’s a photoshop action for those who want to recolour CC in this palette.
2. Poppet’s colours
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I especially like the latest one. So pretty! @poppet-sims is the queen of lovely recolours. She has some more palettes. But “Back to Basics is my favourite”
3. Eversims colours
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@eversims has got a lot of pretty colour palettes. But the most iconic one is Ever So Lovely
So, these are the basic colours that I like downloading furniture/clothes with. 
There are a couple more pretty palettes that I like:
Huning’s Pony Colours
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Back in the days it was my ultimate favourite one. But these days I edit my pictures in Photoshop excessively and prefer calmer colours and add bright layers in photoshop instead.
Nyren’s Kosmic Colours
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If you’re more into pastels, than try to download some stuff in this pretty palette.
You might wonder if I use all of these colours. Of course not! I have a selection of colours that I use: apple green, sky blue, yellow, red, pink, orange, purple, teal, mint. I absolutely love combining 2 or 3 of these in my interior shots. I also love choosing my sims’ favourite colours and dressing them/decorating their bedroom in this certain colour(s).
For example, my sim Mia likes apple green/purple and mint.
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I think @deedee-sims can relate. While I prefer choosing a favourite colour per sim, she chooses favourite colour for the whole family!
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This is a great idea, I think! :)
STEP 4 Bodyshop stuff
Ok, I hope it’s clear that I’m colour palettes addicted, now let’s move onto actual custom content and what I prefer adding to my game. I decided to divide CC by sections. Let’s start with Bodyshop.
4.1 Skintones
Another important thing that you need to choose for yourself. There are tones ofoptions. I’m going to recommend only MM skins as obviously I have no idea which realistic or semi-realistic ones are high quality.
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screenshot by @deedee-sims
If you prefer trully maxis skintones, I recommend you to try Leh’s skintones. It’s super close to original ones in terms of shades. Also look at those button noses! These cute noses is the reason why I started using this skin back in 2014. But later I switched to Lilith’s feather as I wanted more variety and those noses there got a lovely shine.
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It was my default skin for a lot of years. These days I own every possible skintone by Lilith and various blends by other people.
Lilith’s Alien Flavor
Lilith’s Android Skin Edit
Lilith’s Apple Pie Skinblend v.2
Lilith’s Apple Pie Skinblend
Lilith’s Apple Pie by Kahlena
Lilith’s Feather Skinblend
Lilith’s Feather Skins 
Lilith’s Feather by Sim-Strangers
Lilith’s Feathers Colourful by Berrynooboos
Lilith’s Honey Supernatural Custom
Lilith’s Honey with freckles
Lilith’s Honey with no freckles
Lilith’s Honey Unnatural by Berrynooboos
Pixel-danger-sims pastel skins
Here’s a very handy set-up by Vimpse with Lilith’s skins being townified.
Try to choose one set of skins or download all of them by one certain creator. I need a lot of skins because I love creating tones of sims and I want to make them various looking.
4.2 Eyes
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 ♦  Polaroid ♦ - my favourite
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♦ Transcendental ♦
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♦ Sleeping Lion ♦
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♦  Sharp Eyes ♦
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♦ Shallowed in the Sea ♦
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♦ Hand Outs and Punch Ups ♦
These are just some of my eyes. There are some more by Poppet, by Kahlena. And I have various addons to these sets that I grabbed over and here. I remember having struggles of choosing only one set. But than I thought: why do I have to choose if I like all of them and want my sims to look as different as possible? I just love when they are cartoonish but high-quality with nice white clean sclera. Just look at Disney Rapunzel. You’ll see what I mean ^_^
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There’s one little trick that most mm players do for making sims’ eyes bigger and rounder - adding a whiteline eyeliner by jesstheex. I personaly do it for every single sim of mine.
4.3 Makeup
I use tooooons of blushes, lipsticks and eyeshadows. I have everything by Lilith and Jesstheex. And lots of bits and bobs by various creators. I love using both matte or shiny textures. I sometimes add nose shine or use special nosemasks. There are various lovely things in my collection. What I can recommend you is to download a sim that you like by another creator with the help of Sims Clean Installer and just steal makeup from the sim to add to your collection *evil laughter* I recommend to do it because sometimes there are some mouth corners or various eyebags and etc which are difficult to find. It’s easier to grab them together with sims.
For example, I grabbed the shiny nosemasks from one of Lilith’s sims.
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Sometimes I like adding a bit of shine on Sims’ noses. Some sims of mine don’t have shine. It really depends on a sim. But what I definitely like is cute button noses! I like using nosemasks to achieve that. I have all the masks by Lilith and these ones by kahlena.
4.4 Hair textures
Another important decision for you is the hair textures. I recommend you to choose one certain retexture. Back in the days, I used to have Remi’s textures
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screenshot by @selenaq13 
I liked Remi’s ones because they were non-shiny. They had maxis colours and a really cool yellowish blonde! 
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Receintly I switched to Simgarooped as I’ve always loved that there are 6 naturals. The yellowish blonde is still there! Plus my favourite Deedee-sims keeps updating every week with the retextures of new meshes <3
There are lots of various textures blends. Just search, download, play test. Think, if you’re ready to look at such type of hair hours of simming.
Also try to decide if you’d like to have more natural looking sims or go crazy and have supernatural/aliens. I used to have really bright sims with colourful skins and hairs.
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Even my toddlers had unnatural hairs. It’s a lot of fun! But right now I prefer to create more natural looking sims though I like vampires/witches/aliens anyways!
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screenshot by @honeylungsims 
If you would like to have colourful supernatural sims, check out Honeylung! She has the brightest and most unusual supernatural sims <3 
You’ll need a lot of face masks/bright lips/shadows. Check out @berrynooboos​ for the cutest alien CC.
4.5 Facial hair and Brows
I don’t think they should really match as long as they look great.
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For example, I use eyebrows by @suratan-zir which are super cute and high quality but use Poppet’s textures instead of Simgarooped.
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As for facial hair, I use some Poppet’s as well.
by Skoogy
by Poppet #1
by Poppet #2
by Simgaroop
4.6 Clothes
As I already mentioned, I love clothes in my favourite palettes. I love Simlish prints. There are so so many creators who share wonderful clothes.
I love @deedee-sims for age conversions, shoeswaps, morphs. I love @mdpthatsme for really cool 4t2 conversions. I love @moocha-muses for colourful T-shirts <3 Don’t be shy to send me a WCIF about a certain item of clothing.
STEP 5 Buy and Build
Tooons of bright recolours, IKEA items, Maxis add-ons, 3t2 and 4t2 conversions - all these things make my heart beat :D
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These days I play in a rural-type world. I download a lot of craftsman-style build things, a lot of plants and garden deco.
I love bright wallpapers and greenhouses, I love clutter and kids CC for nurseries. Patterns with polka dots and plumbobs. Sunflowers and tulips. This is what I usually drop into my download folder :)
STEP 6 Taking screenshots
No matter which recolours and textures you prefer, I think high-quality pictures are important. The first thing that you need to playtest for yourself is a camera mod. It’s upo for you, but I can’t live without Gunmod’s Camera Mod. There are some more available, just check out.
Also lighting is important since Maxis original is terrible. I use Dreadpirate’s mod. 
I recommend to take screenshots in a camera man mode. Click Tab to enter it. Use W, A,S,D,E buttons to move right/left/up/down etc. And what’s important, use X and Z for zooming in and out. I always use Z for example, when I take close ups of my cats.
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Don’t be afraid to experiment with angles. Try some artistic ones.
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You can move your camera down and take a screen from below.
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Or vice versa from above.
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Sometimes I’ll just take a screen of my sims’ hands or feet. It really depends. I love spending hours on just “walking” in a camera mod around my sims houses.
Another useful feature of this mod is to use Ctrl +4,5,6,7,8,9 buttons.
These can fix the angles for you. And after fixing them, when you click on 4,5,6,7,8,9 you camera will go back to those positions. It’s very handy when you want to screen 2 sims who are talking and there’s no need to constatntly move camera from sidde to side. Just fix it and wait for them to perform cute emotions!
As a bonus, you can fic positions in the life mode too. For example, I always choose a proper angle from above where the wgole house can be seen. And wait for something cute/funny/to happen.
Also there’s such a thing as The Rule of Thirds. It’s the rule of photography composition. I always try to follow it :)
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STEP 7 Photoshop Editing
I love oversaturated colours. It can be too much for someone’s eyes, but I like the brightness :) I’ll share some good Photoshop resources. Probably, one thing that I can recommend to absolutely everyone no matter how bright you want your screens to be is sharpening! Seems that Tumblr eats our picture quality for breakfast. Sims screenshots seem so blurry to me. I love sharpening them first.
I use sharpening from Kalekaloo’s action.
After sharpening I run the base from Eversims Action and then add some colour layers from Simburgerr’s one (I like gradients and fluffy lights layers especially). It makes the reds colours a little bit too saturated but I think it’s cute!
There are a some more cute actions and PSD files out there:
OhMySims - Action 1
OhMySims - Action 2
Sterina’s Action
Photoshop PSDs by Pleyita
Snapdragoned PSD
Mandragore PSD by Kiinuu
JellyBeanery’s Action
Roguebotanist
Nnilou - 12:51
A generic PSD by Knowledgeaspiration
Colorize IT by Bonnypixels
Colour Crush by Bonnypixels
Just Like Heaven by Pixeldemographics
For more tips/palettes/cute fonts I recommend you to check out @bepixeled
That’s all that came to my mind. I hope at least something was useful!
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softichill · 2 years
Note
cricket would you like to talk about your ocs
HELLO HI HELLO YES
Me n my friend @pinkimark have been working on a little project called Hello Fareinn!! It's going to be a visual novel game where you make friends instead of it being a dating sim, tho rn we're just working on worldbuilding and making the characters
Info about each character and the world so far is under the cut :Dc
Fareinn is a small middle-of-nowhere town in Ohio, built right on top of a once-magical haven for all kinds of fantasy creatures. The build-up of magic energy is insanely strong there, and thus the remnants of fantasy/supernatural creatures in modern days are drawn to this town, and any magic traits are heightened significantly. The town itself has a high rate of cryptid sightings and strange events-- it even has a magic wishing well that supposedly curses whoever wishes there. Overall it's a strange place, but it's good for our main character.
Mayumi - Mayumi is the protagonist, a non-binary bi/ace Filipino-American teenager moving to the town of Fareinn from California. Mayumi has been hurt by friends in the past, and their parents don't really take the time to actually listen to them and their needs, including ignoring their diagnosed depression. Though, they do have things that make them happy; they have an obsession with the supernatural and cryptids, and their biggest hobby is photography. Luckily, Fareinn is a town with a fairly fantastical history.
Carmella - The last living Fawn in Fareinn, living in a hidden cottage deep in the forest and avoiding the town more often than not. She's distrusting of humans, and is terrified when she gets spotted (she's the source of a big chunk of Fareinn's cryptid sightings), but really she's curious and wants to learn more about them, hence why she keeps returning. She's also trans
Cadence - Cadence is the son of a rich business-owner family. He's often used as advertisement thanks to his young face, and has learned to dedicate himself fully to his family's business and the duties that come with it. However, as he gets sent out on his own to find places to build on their company for, he struggles more and more with having his own interests and being his own person. He gets sent to Fareinn, and there he meets Mayumi, someone who wholeheartedly loves what they love and seemingly does whatever they want, and as they bond Cadence learns how to let himself be him.
Momo - One of a pair, Momo is a Japanese American demigirl who "died" in the local wishing well over a decade ago. I put "died" in quotes because, really, she's only got some ghost traits that flicker on and off at random, but they haven't aged once since the transformation happened. See, a while back they had been searching for the wishing well with her long-time friend Kiriya, more as a fun legend-hunting trip rather than actually wanting to wish in it. So they both were surprised to see that the well was Real and that the one who grants the wishes in the first place is some edgy dead kid. Long story short, the two ended up making a half-assed wish to be cryptids, and since the wishing well kid is actually an asshole he cursed them to be half-ghosts and separated them. So now, Momo and Kiriya wander the chambers around the well looking for each other. Momo, when stressed, tends to actively try to ignore her stressed feelings and they end up welling up until they explode. This resulted in us giving them fire powers!
I gtg right now, this would take forever to finish sadly and I need to head out. I'll continue explaining the characters later tho, me n Pinki are proud of them :D
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skyholders · 3 years
Text
MLQC Mini Garden Series: MC
A character-study-headcannon series where I diagnose MLQC characters with plants and a bit of poetry. Part five.
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Other parts of the series: Lucien / Gavin / Kiro / Victor
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Magnolia
"With my heart singing to the stars, I shall love all things that are dying. And I must walk the road that has been given to me. Tonight, again, the stars are brushed by the wind." - Yun Dong-Ju
A little pretty fact about magnolia flowers: It is a symbolic flower in many different cultures all around the world, and is believed to have existed since the beginning of time. There are over 200 species of magnolia flowers, with many new species being developed all the time.
In China, magnolia flowers are called 玉兰花 in Chinese. They symbolise the yin, or the feminine side of life. It also once symbolised purity during the Tang Dynasty, and was planted all around the palace.
Magnolias also typically symbolise everlasting bonds, longevity, perseverance, sweetness, and beauty. All very fitting descriptions of MC :)
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Apple blossoms
"Because the sunset, like survival, exists only on the verge of its own disappearing. To be gorgeous, you must first be seen, but to be seen allows you to be hunted." - Ocean Vuong
Apple blossoms, or the Malus pumila, are chos n for the list due to its meaning - these flowers represent the concept of life continuing, to carry on living, and eternal life. It is also symbolic of a long life, describing how we'll all have to continue living even after we've endured a rough winter in our lives.
This flower reminds me of MC very much - from her determination to keep taking the right step forward for the betterment of the world. It also reminds me of Spring Day from BTS, or Arthur Rimbaud's poem, L'eternité (Previously mentioned in Lucien's post if I remember correctly).
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Almond blossom
"Every life is in many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love, but always meeting ourselves." - James Joyce
Almond blossoms are symbolic of an eternal love unconquerable by death, and it's because of the Queen of Thrace from Greek mythology. The queen, Phyllis, was in a hopeless despair as she believed her true love wouldn't ever return, so she commited suicide and thus gained sympathy from the Gods, who turned her into an almond tree. When her lover returned, he embraced the almond tree, who blossomed beautiful. Thus the almond blossoms also represent eternal hope.
They also symbolise courage, blessings, the coming of spring, good fortunes, and purity.
A little side tangent here, but almond blossoms were also featured in a series of Van Gogh's flower paintings. "Almond Blossoms" was described by the artist to represent awakening and hope, and one might also notice a change of his style in the painting - it was due to the fact that Van Gogh was inspired by the Japanese style of printing art, Ukiyo-e (浮世絵), or the floating world. It's my favourite painting of Van Gogh's!
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Ambrosia
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." - William Shakespeare
Ambrosia in Greek mythology is the liquid or food which the Gods and Goddesses drink, or a liquid given to mortals to make them immortal. It represents immortality (-am for not, and -mbrotos for mortal in Greek), and there are thousands of years of history behind these common yellow flowers.
Another fun fact is that the ambrosia flowers also belong in the Asteraceae family, which means it is related to daisies, among other flowers!
Other than immortality, ambrosia flowers also represents love and devotion, or a love being reciprocated.
Not to mention, the ambrosia flowers also symbolise care and support - it's told that a nymph by the name of Ambrosia, who was one of the nymphs to nurse the Greek God of Wine, Dionysus, back to health.
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Dandelions
"And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about." - Haruki Murakami
Dandelions! Weeds for many, but a meaningful blossom for those who know its meaning. In Chinese, they are called 蒲公英 (pü gōng yīng). They are found all around the world, and are valuable sources of nectar for the pollinators. They come in two 'forms', a sunny yellow blossom, and the white cotton-ball-like flower we're all familiar with. Both have very pretty meanings.
The flower in general symbolises hope, happiness, optimism and wishes - it's told that if you gather the seeds of a dandelion and blow it towards the winds while making a wish, your wish will be granted.
The yellow blossoms of a dandelion flower only strengthens its joyful meanings, particularly in Japan. They are also symbols of hope and love, the yellow petals like the sun shining on all the beautiful things in your life. Lastly, they symbolise resilience - dandelions can thrive even in the harshest weathers, and are a thus a little symbol of courage.
This flower reflects MC's personality - innocent, but courageous and determined. Hopeful, lovely, and her optimism is contagious to anyone who meets her. Like dandelions thriving between cracks of concrete, she is able to rise above any obstacles life throws at her, and strive to be the best person she can be.
The first character of MC's Chinese name, 悠然 (yōurán), also means carefree, which reminds me of the nature of dandelions, flowing and letting the winds bring them wherever they need to be.
[END]
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Hello again! I do realise I've been procrasinating on this post for the past week.. I totally wasn't building random houses in the Sims 4.
Anyways, I do hope you enjoyed the post! If you notice that the "karma" wasn't credited to anyone, it's because I made it. I was disappointed there was not a single good karma where MC is alone so I made one. Though the quality is obviously not even comparable to your average MLQC's CG, I tried my best :P
Have a wondrous weekend! Stay safe and stay hydrated. How about you take a shot of water for every time the word 'symbolise' appeared in this post?
- Shio
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yellowocaballero · 3 years
Text
Hey wouldn’t it be funny if I wrote a crossover between canon and the roleswap AU.
So I did <3. There’s no reason for this to exist, I was just bored and self-indulgent and amused myself by thinking about how fucking insane the Space Cadet team has to be in comparison to canon. This takes place at S4 Canon!Jon’s time, and basically between chapters 2 and 3 of solitaire. It is not canon. Do not think too hard about it. Enjoy. Story under the cut. 
“Yes, in almost every way.” Jon wiped his mouth with a napkin, balling it up and dropping it on the table. “Jonathan Sims, thirty one years old, Aquarius. Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute. The Archivist.” He paused a beat, uncertain of how to broach this. “I think Helen may have deposited me in an alternate dimension? Best case scenario.”
Everybody stared at him blankly. 
“Well,” Basira said finally, “sounds like the kind of bullshit you get yourself wrapped up in, Jon.”
“I knew it!” Sasha cried, before deflating. “I mean, I didn’t, really, not at all, but that’s fascinating! Will you answer some questions? Who’s the Queen in your universe?”
“I’m back from the dead for a week and my life’s already stupid again,” Tim said blankly. 
“Two Jons?” Martin asked, far too excitedly. 
“Can I leave you alone,” Melanie gritted out, between clenched teeth, “for five minutes?”
Jon woke up at his desk, which was so common that it was somewhat pathetic. 
Not that a lot of things weren’t pathetic about Jon, but seeing as he no longer technically had anywhere to live he’d give himself a pass. Or was it pathetic to be homeless too? Jon felt strongly as if it was, but he was working on the judgemental thing. Martin had always -
Martin. Jon blinked blearily at his empty desk, scrubbing a little at the sleep that had accumulated in the corner of his eyes. Right. Speaking of pathetic. Jon didn’t like admitting that Martin was the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the last thing he thought about before he went to bed, but he was working on being more honest with himself. Denial about the situation didn’t do anyone any favors. Denial was what made him start stalking and hunting people like - like some sort of awful predator. No more denial. Jon knew who he was, and he knew what he was, and he was going to try and be as good a person as he can be despite it. It was the least he could do. 
Wait. Why was his desk empty?
It wasn’t completely empty. There was a laptop on the center of it, and some assorted papers stuck haphazardly underneath. The usual recorder was tucked into the corner, clicked off. He swiped his hand over the trackpad of his laptop, quickly logging in, and instead of seeing his usual research or theory maps, he saw...a video game?
Jon squinted at the video game. What was The Sims?
He looked around his office, well-lit with the harsh fluorescent lights. It was his office, complete with the couch on the far wall that Daisy had taken to napping on and the two walls of metal shelving that held filling boxes and collections of tapes. Several filing cabinets were lined up behind Jon, holding his favorite statements. Organized by Entity. He was quite proud of it. 
But the Statements seemed to be gone. Some loose papers were always scattered around, slipping out of boxes or sitting in haphazard piles weighed down by tape recorders. None of them were there. Basira must have taken them. Jon stood up, moving around the desk to pull out a box and peer inside. Empty. 
Some part of Jon’s brain, growing louder every day, wailed and gnashed its teeth that someone had stolen his Statements, his knowledge. Most of Jon was just worried over what Basira could possibly be doing with them. 
Unconsciously, Jon’s hand drifted down to his stomach. It was purely a habit, of course - the hunger never gave him stomach pains. He was so hungry all the time, he could barely feel it anymore. 
The Statements were all gone.
Was Basira trying to starve him out…?
Jon shook himself. She wouldn’t - well, she wouldn’t go behind his back to do it. She knew that he’d just start preying on people -
His life had gotten so pathetic. 
A loud crash and a yell echoed from the other side of the door, and Jon recognized Melanie’s voice. He winced, and decided to stay in his office for the time being. Best to stay out of her way. She always reacted somewhat explosively to him -
Then the faint, muffled tones of Martin’s voice echoed through the door, and Jon forgot all hesitation as he burst out of his office. 
The bullpen was just slightly different from where Jon had seen it last - the desks arranged differently, different detritus scattered around, no sleeping bags or hair dryers - but he wasn’t paying attention to any of that. He was only paying attention to Martin, who was sitting at his desk as easy as you please. He was smiling. 
Jon hadn’t seen Martin smile in so long.
He also hadn’t seen Martin wear those adorable little sweatervests in so long, but that wasn’t important right now. Jon cried out softly, like he had been punched - he did feel as if he had been punched, it wasn’t an unfamiliar sensation - and Martin turned slightly in his chair to look at him. He smiled when he saw Jon, so kind and happy and Martin, and Jon felt like he was dying at the sight of Martin just smiling, just looking at him. 
“Look, you don’t need to worry about me,” Martin was saying, to an unamused and remarkably composed Melanie. He held up a large combat knife, the metal glinting off the fluorescent lights. “Jon likes it.”
“See, it’s not you I’m worried about,” Melanie said, arms crossed. She was dressed - in her jeans and green flannel, like she used to. Her hair looked clean. The crop top, cut-off shorts, and fishnets, that Jon hadn’t seen her take off in the last month, where - “It’s poor Jon. He’s too desperate for affection to stand up for himself.”
“Jon, you okay?” Tim asked, sitting behind Martin and sipping a margarita. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
That was when Jon - hungry, tired, hallucinating - felt his legs give out. It was just in time, too. He collapsed to the ground just as Martin threw the knife, sending it whistling where his head had been half a second ago. 
Then he hit his head on the floor, and blissfully fainted. 
****
“ - she’s not his mother, it’s not Georgie’s job to make sure he eats.”
“It’s because Daisy isn’t here.” That was Basira’s voice, almost mournful. “Daisy always used to remind him to eat.”
“How did this guy make it to thirty again?” An unfamiliar voice asked. 
“If it wasn’t for this ragtag bunch of lesbians, I would have killed him months ago,” Tim said, then paused a beat. “What? I’m owning up to my mistakes.”
“Remind me to give you a sticker later,” Melanie said dryly. 
Jon opened his eyes, to see five faces crowded in front of him. They were all bending over him, identical expressions of mild intrigue on their faces as they bickered with each other. Martin looked very, very mildly concerned, as Melanie and Basira just looked exasperated. Tim - and the woman - who was the woman?
Instinctually, Jon reached out with his mind and sought the answer. But it was as if he was reaching with a limb that had been cut off. No, a limb that had never existed. Dazed, Jon lifted his real hand, if only to make sure that he could still move - and found himself staring at an unmarred, smooth, healthy hand. 
“Martin didn’t cut it off,” the woman said helpfully. She had a thick mane of curly brown hair, and brown skin a similar shade to his. She was holding a granola bar, and she easily stuffed it in his outstretched hand. “If that was a concern or anything. When’s the last time you ate, Jon?”
The question spent a spike of anxiety through him, Jon instantly interpreting it as an accusation. The granola bar wasn’t going to do anything. Of course he was hungry, he’s always hungry - 
Jon wasn’t hungry. 
Jon sat up, letting the assorted people, both alive and dead, step away. He mechanically unwrapped the granola bar and stuffed it in his mouth, chewing lethargically. It didn’t taste like sawdust and cement. It tasted like salt, and nuts. 
He swallowed the granola bar, forming a hypothesis. He looked at Basira, who at least was the most familiar here. It galled him even having to ask, not just knowing, but -  “What year is it?”
She stared at him, unimpressed. “If you hit your head we’re taking you to C&E. We can’t afford for you to get any stupider, Jon.”
“Your concern is noted,” Jon said, strained. 
“Don’t make fun of him, he’s a concussion victim,” Melanie scolded. She smiled at Jon - hideously novel. “It’s 2018. I’m calling Georgie and getting you home, you’re useless to us with a brain injury.”
He no longer had a hypothesis. Jon shook his head mutely. The last person Jon wanted to field questions from was Georgie. “I’m fine,” Jon said hoarsely. “I think I just need to - lie down a bit.” And not look at Tim. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and was still slurping his margarita obnoxiously. He was leaning against a desk, somewhat heavily. “I’ll be fine.”
Everybody looked at each other, then shrugged. Melanie reached down and helped him up, gently pushing him towards the couch set up in the corner of the bullpen, and he found himself stumbling towards it and lying down. Martin loudly offered to nurse him back to health, which incentivized Basira and Melanie to quickly push him inside the recording room and lock the door for...some reason. Jon wanted to go talk to Martin, figure everything out with him. But he didn’t - paralyzed, or maybe just frightened, or maybe just very tired. 
The knife he had thrown was still lying on the floor, somehow innocently. The woman picked it up, inspecting it closely, and sighed. 
“There is something off about that guy.”
“None of them are ever going to believe you, Sash,” Tim said dully, flipping through a brightly colored magazine on his desk. Jon’s breath caught in his throat. “Melanie thinks it’s freakier if you haven’t stabbed anyone.”
This was it. This was when Tim would say, ‘Everybody wants to stab Jon’, or something. It’d be fair. If this was a dream, a fantasy of dead friends, then that’s what he would say. But he didn’t. Tim - strangely small, strangely gaunt, with hollow cheeks that reminded Jon a little of Daisy - didn’t look up at Sasha, flipping through his magazine, and Sasha avoided eye contact with him. She looked at Jon instead, from where he was lying on the couch, and gave him a strained smile. 
Jon found the courage to speak to her. It should have felt familiar, like Sasha, but nothing about her was familiar. He had listened to her tapes a dozen times, any scrap of her voice he could find, but - well, everybody sounded different on the tapes. “Sasha. Can you get me my phone? And a...Statement?”
Sasha brightened enthusiastically. “You want a Statement? Say no more, Jon, I’ll hook you up. Nice to see somebody taking an interest. Let’s keep this between you and me, okay?”
“What…?”
But she had already disappeared into his office, and the faint sounds of banging echoed throughout the room. Melanie and Basira were standing in the kitchenette, chatting lowly, Basira occasionally laughing at something Melanie said. 
Jon wondered where Daisy was, and instinctively tried to reach again before hitting that wall. He gritted his teeth, head still swimming. 
The most important thing was figuring out if this place was dangerous or not. Wherever he was, whatever was going on, he had to discern if it was a danger. Could this have anything to do with an unknown ritual? No, how could it? Elias? He wouldn’t put any of this past Elias. 
With a twist in his gut Jon remembered the cannibal priest’s Statement. Any suspicion of unreality, any feeling as if things were not as they should be...or was this a pleasant, Lotus Eater’s dream instead? If that was true, would Martin be throwing knives at him?
“Here you go! First one I saw on your desk.”
Jon sat up, mutely taking the paper and phone Sasha held out to him. It wasn’t his mobile - it was much nicer and sleeker than his own battered thing - but he had to assume it was Jon’s. He took the Statement too, scanning it quickly. 
Of course, of course. It was Anya Villete’s. Jon thought about this one frequently, captured by the prospect of multiple realities. Not worth the danger of exploring, but there was an intoxicating element of danger. Maybe the Jon that these people thought they were talking to had been reading it, and accidentally triggered something - 
“What did I say!”
Before Jon could react, the paper was unceremoniously ripped from his hands. Jon cried out helplessly, only to see Melanie standing in front of him with an unamused expression and his lifeline in her uncaring fists. 
“We’ve been over this,” Melanie scolded - scolded? “No statements, they’re bad for your tummy.” She frowned at Sasha, who didn’t seem very guilty. “And I told you to stop enabling him. He’s already sick, and you know these things upset him.”
“I’m gathering data,” Sasha said cheerfully. “Something weird was happening in his eyes when he was reading that Statement. Give it back, I need to record it.”
“Can I have that back, please?” Jon asked planatively. “I need it.”
“You do not.” Melanie folded up the statement tightly, shoving it in her jeans and ignoring Jon’s cry of despair. “If you’re feeling under-stimulated, go play knife monopoly with Martin. Otherwise relax and make sure you aren’t going to faint again.”
“I’m not going to -”
“I will call Georgie,” Melanie threatened, and Jon clicked his mouth shut. Melanie nodded, satisfied in having won the argument. If it was even an argument. “Sasha, if you let Jon find another Statement I will be locking the library and giving the key to Martin.”
“Yes, boss,” Sasha said, depressed. 
“Tim, you’re with me, we need to design our plan of attack for chasing down Daisy,” Melanie barked, and Tim straightened in his seat. Jon saw for the first time that there was a folded up cane on his desk. “I need your dumb fear demon powers.”
“That’s not how they -” Tim started, but at Melanie’s look he quailed. “Yeah, boss.”
“Great.” Melanie folded her arms, frowning down at Jon, and at the receiving end of the look Jon found himself quailing too. “If you leave the Archives to do anything other than go to the bathroom the rest of the day, I will tell Georgie that you were exerting yourself while sick again. And she will call you a poor little dear and give you lots of hugs and lots of soup. You will hate it. Is that clear?”
“Yes, boss,” Jon said, depressed. 
“Good. I need to go psychologically torment more people, I’ll be in the library. Tim!” She snapped her fingers, and strode off to the library as Tim scrambled up and limped after her. 
Jon watched her go dazedly as the library door clicked shut behind her. Sasha sighed and went back to her desk, cracking open the thick books on the top and relaxing. They weren’t even research books, just nonfiction about the Mayflower. Basira was back at her desk too, this time with her chin resting on her arms folded on the desk as she watched a...movie. Was that a romcom? 
This was dangerous. The situation was dangerous, doubtless the plot of some force or another that hated Jon personally and wanted him to suffer. He had to do some research, find out what was going on, track down Elias and find his power and dig into that source of infinite knowledge lying dormant in his mind, uproot every terrifying thing that hated him and shake them down for answers.
But he was more scared of Melanie. Just because she didn’t seem to have any knives on her didn’t mean that it was the case. Unless Martin had them all. So Jon lay back on the couch, rotely pressed in the passcode to his phone, and idly opened up the internet browser in complete comfort and relaxation. 
The couch was so comfortable and soft, in fact, that Jon soon fell asleep. Easy and smooth, as if he really was still a human, who needed sleep at all.
And when Jon dreamed, he dreamed of blissful and restful nothing. 
******
He woke up to someone shaking his shoulder, and Jon screamed himself awake as his eyes flew open. 
But it wasn’t anybody dangerous, or anything willing to hurt him. It was just - Basira. Just Basira. Jon exhaled in relief, ignoring Basira’s incredulous expression. 
“It’s five, we’re heading out. You feeling well enough for pub night, mate?”
They were going home. The strangeness registered first, the fact that Sasha was shrugging on a jacket and Melanie was stuffing a laptop in a backpack, before Jon remembered where he was. Or where he wasn’t. He mustered a faint smile for Basira, but judging from her frown it came out closer to a grimace. 
Pub night. They were going out for drinks, then going to their own flats. Eating dinner. Sleeping. Waking up the next morning, then heading off to work. The mundanity boggled. 
Maybe it was a Lotus Eater, Jon thought, dazed. A world where there were no Entities, no fears or harm. Where everybody was human, and happy. 
Maybe. He hadn’t actually been allowed to look at any of the Statements, so he didn’t actually know. He couldn’t imagine that this group would be so casual if the Statements really were true. 
Part of him wanted to beg off, curl up and sleep in document storage so he wouldn’t have to interact with these people for any longer. He was out of practice: these days he rarely had long conversations with anybody who wasn’t Daisy, and he hadn’t seen Daisy all day. Basira exchanged a few curt sentences with him each day. Melanie...cried and screamed, a lot. Not exactly conducive to social skills. 
  Sasha’s face was buried in a book, not even looking up as she navigated the desks. Tim was talking a patient Melanie’s ear off about Nietzche. 
“I think I can make it,” Jon found himself saying. “Just a pint.”
Besides, he had the feeling that if he curled up in document storage Georgie would...be mad at him. Or something. They were flatmates? Or something?
They walked out the door in a herd, talking and laughing. Jon found himself hanging in the back of the group, next to Sasha. She wasn’t looking up from her book, so Jon felt safe in staring unabashedly at Tim. He was using a cane, just like Daisy had for two or so weeks right out of the coffin. He even used it in the same way: not favoring one leg or the other, using it for strength instead of balance. Muscle weakness. He was just as emancipated as Daisy had been too, in that particular corpse-like way that made him look like a zombie. His hair was long and lanky, brittle strands reaching to his chin instead of his normal lush and gelled look. 
The faces in the lobby were the same - Sabrina behind the desk, Roy playing security guard - even as the decorations were different. No portrait of Jonah Magnus, or of the other directors. They broke out into the London street, as smoggy and crowded as ever, and Jon found himself trailing behind the others in a direct route to their usual pub. The same one he, Basira, Melanie, and Daisy go drinking at sometimes. Only sometimes. They went without him more often, but Jon didn’t blame them, really -
“Something on my face, mate?”
Tim’s wry voice startled Jon out of his reverie, and he flushed. Tim smiled at him, thinly and without humor, and gestured him forward as he dropped behind Melanie. Jon stepped forward, tucking his hands into his jacket, fighting the rising swell in his throat. 
“You’ve been staring. I’m not that much uglier, am I?” Tim asked lightly, a parody of his old good humor. That, at least, was familiar - Tim’s fragile and brittle humor, tightly leashing rage. 
“You...you look good,” Jon said. He buried his hands deeper in his jacket pockets, fighting the lump in his throat. He couldn’t stop himself from adding, “It’s good to see you again.”
It was probably a strange thing for Jon to say - but Tim just smiled, even more bitter than the last. “You’ve always been too nice for your own good, Sims.” First time that’s been said about him. “You forgive too easy.”
“Grudges...aren’t worth it, in my experience.” Jon exhaled slowly, watching Melanie’s red hair glint in the sunlight in front of him. “Life’s too short and all.”
“Really? Thought you people loved grudges.” Tim blinked a second, before clearly remembering something. “We love grudges, right. Still, Jon, I never really…” He trailed off awkwardly. “You know.”
He did not. “Right,” Jon said. 
“Apologized,” Tim said hurriedly, when it became clear that Jon wasn’t about to say anything committal. “For trying to kill you all those times. Uh, and trying to get you arrested. And helping frame you for murder. And that whole kidnapping incident -”
Something began to occur to Jon. A rational thought seeped into his brain. 
“In the woods,” Jon said slowly. “Because you thought I was a monster.”
Tim winced, confirming Jon’s suspicion. “Right. Trust me, I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I know I was wrong. I’ve turned over a new leaf and everything.” He brightened. “Did you hear I’m bisexual now?”
“Everybody heard you were bisexual now,” Basira said, bored. “Ten times.”
“Good for you,” Jon said, as sincerely as he could. “That’s...great. Bi rights.”
Tim beamed. “Bi rights!” He clapped Jon’s shoulder supportively with his other hand as Melanie held open the door to the pub for them, ducking inside. “Man, I never thought I’d see the inside of a pub again. I only got to go a few times with you guys before everything. Can Martin still hustle the room at pool?”
“One way to find out,” Martin said serenely. 
“Please don’t start a pub brawl,” Melanie said, pained. “We’ve been kicked out of three places already, I don’t fancy making it a fourth.”
But when Jon looked backwards, he saw Sasha looking up from her book, staring directly at him, blinking owlishly. 
They crowded into a corner booth, squishing up against each other and all talking at once. Jon wanted to drift towards Martin, get him alone and ask what was going on, but after one look at him eyeing up the pool cues speculatively he changed his mind. Only Basira was acting even remotely normal, so he settled for sliding in between her and Sasha. He was dizzy with the noise and the clamor of the familiar pub, overwhelmed by the familiar-unfamiliar tide of voices, and it was taking all of his energy not to spend hours just staring at Sasha, memorizing every line and crease of her face.
The first thing he did was order every single crummy, greasy, soggy serving of pub food he found on the menu, ignoring the way his Assistants laughed at him, before settling in the corner of the booth and pulling out his phone. Jon wasn’t even hungry - he wasn’t hungry - but he was shoving every soggy chip into his mouth until he puked. A human body was a drastically underrated thing. 
Out of curiosity, Jon turned on the front camera of his phone and scrutinized his reflection. He had noticed that his hair was shorter, tied back in a puffed bun instead of his customary ragged ponytail, but beyond that he hadn’t checked. 
He looked...good. No longer gaunt and malnourished, he was a healthy weight. No bags under his eyes. Well kept fade and modest, well trimmed facial hair. No scar over his throat, no circular worm scars.  That was less of a surprise - Tim, Martin, and Sasha were all missing the worm scars. 
His eyes were brown. Just brown. No electrifying green, no spinning iris, no churning wheel of knowledge. Just his normal, boring brown. 
He hadn’t known how much he missed it. 
As the others started arguing passionately about...vlogs? Or something?...Jon pulled out his wallet. Money had the same old Queen on it, along with his old collection of take-out receipts that had all started disappearing when he stopped eating. A photocopy of a picture of his parents, heavily worn and creased. Still an orphan, then. Jon missed the days when that was his biggest problem. 
His driver’s license was the same as ever too. Same name - Jonathan Andrew Sims. Same birthday - February 14th, which he had always considered life’s practical joke on him. The United Kingdom still existed, which was either a good or a bad thing. 
He replaced his wallet, ignoring Sasha’s curious stare, and pulled out his phone. He had only gone so far as making sure that major world events were the same before passing out. This time, he pressed his text messages, and scrolled down his most recents. As usual, it was only a few people - almost all of which were at this table - but there were a few other people too. 
Georgie was the obvious one, and the most recent. He clicked on that conversation, unsurprised to see an immediate photograph of the Admiral looking angelic as he rolled around in some grass in a patch of sun. 
Georgie: Baby at the park soaking in some rays!!! <3 <3 <3. I caught him terrorizing a stray dog. Naughty baby!!
Jon blinked at the message. The Admiral did seem a little...more evil, than he once did. Why were his eyes green? Underneath was Jon’s own text, sent twenty minutes before he had woken up that afternoon. 
Jon: He’s committing atrocities and you’re laughing. You’re laughing. 
Jon couldn’t fight a smile. He missed Georgie. 
He switched over to the text conversation just underneath. He squinted at the contact name. That couldn’t be right. 
Gerry: can u pick up milk from aldis? and scented candles
Gerry: for necromancy reasons
Jon: Can you raise the dead tomorrow? Helen said she wants to talk to me so I may be home late. If you don’t hear from me in five hours she’s likely kidnapped me. As a heads up. 
Gerry: OH, SO LONG AS I HAVE THE HEADS UP?
Gerry: I’m making Georgie give Melanie the money to buy that toddler leash she’s always threatening to get for u. If u die im not resurrecting u. 
Jon: Have fun with one less person to share the rent
Gerry: we dont PAY RENT
Gerard Keay. Jon blinked at the phone. That conversation raised as many questions as it answered. Gerard Keay was alive? He was Jon’s flatmate? He practiced necromancy? None of it seemed very relevant right now, but it made Jon wonder who else was resurrected from the dead. Was necromancy common in this universe, like knitting?
Still, Helen explained quite a bit. It also suggested what Jon was already wondering: that the supernatural was far from foreign. If Helen was supernatural, and not just...a jerk. 
If Tim was an Avatar of the Hunt...if he had been in the coffin...and Daisy’s been hard to track down…
Jon was interrupted in his increasingly coherent train of thought by his food arriving, and all thoughts were thrown out the window. His basket of fish and chips slid in front of him, and he wasted absolutely no time in cramming the fries into his mouth three at a time, not wasting time salting or putting vinegar on them. They were dripping with crease, soggy and burning his tongue. 
They were perfect.
The waiter, looking somewhat intimidated, slid his bacon butty on the table too, and Jon took barely a moment to swallow before stuffing that in his face too. Bacon, butter, brown sauce - it exploded on his tongue, a cavalcade of salt and seasoning. Increasingly terrified, the waiter put his pie and mash on the table and quickly fled, as Jon finished cramming the sandwich into his mouth before moving back to the fish. It was hot, crackling on his tongue, strong and fishy and perfect.
Jon looked up from his food long enough to grab a glass of water and gulp half of it down. It wasn’t until he put his glass down that he saw the looks on the faces of his Assistants. All of whom ranged from frightened to terrified.
  Everybody except Martin, whose chin was propped on his hand and was sighing dreamily. “It’s really hot how you can pack it all away, Jon. Do you want to come over to my flat and let me cook for you? I’d make a lot of food. ”
Jon choked on his fish.
That was it for Sasha. She slammed her book down, expression intent, and jabbed a finger at a now wheezing Jon. “Jon would never choke at Martin’s creepy flirting! That isn’t Jonathan Sims!”
Jon stole Tim’s glass of water, ignoring his squawk, and downed that too. 
Now everybody really was staring at him, and Jon felt heat rise to his cheeks. As the kids say, busted. He should probably stop eating and make his escape while he still could, before Tim decided to change his mind on his ‘murdering Jon’ stance. 
But outside did not have pub food. Inside had pub food. Jon made his decision with the knowledge that, if his Assistants reacted from a reasonable place of Imposter-based trauma and killed him for pretending to be Jonathan Sims, he’d deserve it. He was not moving from this spot until his food was gone or his Assistants killed him. 
Jon finished off Tim’s water, dropping it back on the lacquered table, and hoarsely said, “I’ve been having a very strange day.”
Nobody leaped for his throat or pointed a gun at him, which was always nice. It was more than Jon had been expecting. Instead, everybody looked at Melanie, who narrowed her eyes. Jon realized, a second too late, that they were waiting for her. Whatever happened to him, Melanie would decide. 
...why Melanie? 
Melanie rested her elbows on the table, steepling her fingers in front of her mouth. She locked eyes with Jon, breaking him down like a judge at a dog show, and Jon tried to shovel mash in his mouth as innocently as possible. 
“Sasha. What’s your evidence?”
“He’s been acting weird all day,” Sasha said promptly, as if she’d been expecting the question. She shifted her arm purposefully, and Jon realized with a start that she was concealed carrying. Was that legal? “Jon never asks me for Statements outright, he always just sneaks them behind Melanie’s back. If he really fainted because he was hungry, he would have eaten his lunch too, instead of just my granola bar. And he hasn’t talked to Martin since he fainted - he isn’t even sitting next to him.” Sasha drew herself up triumphantly. “And, he looked actually scared when Martin threw that knife at him. He’s never scared of Martin. He normally just role-plays the fear bit.”
“Which I appreciate,” Martin said supportively, making Jon blanch. That elicited more suspicious looks from everyone, which Jon couldn’t even begin to parse. “But he has been acting strange today, hasn’t he?”
“Tim?” Melanie asked sharply. 
Tim sniffed loudly, wrinkling his nose a little. “Smells like him.” At Melanie’s intense look, he grudgingly added, “No sawdust or plastic. Flesh and blood, boss.”
Jon began stuffing forkfuls of pastry and meat crumb from the pie in his mouth as Melanie went back to squinting at Jon. Not glaring - just an intense, sidelong look, fingers steepled in front of her. “You aren’t denying it, Jon.”
Jon mumbled something. 
“Swallow your food.”
Jon carefully swallowed his mouthful of dough. “I have not eaten human food,” Jon said delicately, “in five months. I will answer your questions momentarily.”
And then Jon cleaned all three of his plates, to the dumbfounded looks of his Assistants. 
Finally, after everybody else’s drinks had arrived - including Jon’s pint, which he reached for so quickly that Martin stole it away from him and refused to give it back - and Jon had cleaned all three of his plates, he felt ready to talk. He thumped on his chest, burping a little, and leaned back in his plush seat. Melanie was nursing her pint, sipping from it slowly, as Basira gave him her usual ‘I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you’ look. 
“Okay,” Jon said finally. “I apologize for not - ah, clarifying before. I thought I was dreaming. To be honest, I worry that I’m still dreaming.” He looked down at his empty basket and plates. “I dearly hope that wasn’t human flesh or something horrid like that.”
Sasha perked up. “Like in the cannibal priest statement? That’s fascinating -”
“Shut up about cannibal priests,” Melanie groaned, and Sasha guiltily shut up. Oddly rude, but nobody seemed surprised. “You are Jon, right?”
“Yes, in almost every way.” Jon wiped his mouth with a napkin, balling it up and dropping it on the table. “Jonathan Sims, thirty one years old, Aquarius. Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute. The Archivist.” He paused a beat, uncertain of how to broach this. “I think Helen may have deposited me in an alternate dimension? Best case scenario.”
Everybody stared at him blankly. 
“Well,” Basira said finally, “sounds like the kind of bullshit you get yourself wrapped up in, Jon.”
“I knew it!” Sasha cried, before deflating. “I mean, I didn’t, really, not at all, but that’s fascinating! Will you answer some questions? Who’s the Queen in your universe?”
“I’m back from the dead for a week and my life’s already stupid again,” Tim said blankly. 
“Two Jons?” Martin asked, far too excitedly. 
“Can I leave you alone,” Melanie gritted out, between clenched teeth, “for five minutes?”
Then everybody was talking over each other, arguing and exclaiming and yelling, and Jon frantically drank his pint. They were so loud. 
Finally, Melanie chopped a hand through the buzz, and everyone quieted. She pursed her lips, looking Jon up and down, and he anxiously let himself get looked at. “How did you know it was an alternate universe? What’s the difference?”
“Martin threw a knife at me and Tim and Sasha are alive,” Jon said instantly. 
“I’m not actually dead in your universe,” Tim said quickly, “just trapped in an infernal demon hell coffin. If you can get me out, I’d be really thankful -”
“No, you’re quite dead,” Jon said apologetically. “That happened to Daisy in my universe, though. A - a lot of what you did here, I think, Daisy did.” He looked at Basira, frowning. “Where is Daisy? She’s not…”
“She’s fine,” Basira said curtly, folding her arms and leaning back. “Having lots of fun ditching us and having fun at her little secretary desk. It’s fine. I don’t care. She can do what she wants, she’s an adult.”
“Basira’s been pining tragically ever since Daisy ran off to go work for Peter Lukas,” Melanie said sympathetically. 
Jon felt a little called out. “Ah. That’s - that’s very unfortunate.” He slowly turned to Martin, who still seemed caught up in the ‘two Jons’ aspect of this. “And you’re...you would define yourself as full of rage?”
“At all times, all the time, without cessation,” Martin agreed affably. “Why? That’s not weird to you, is it?”
“Uh huh.” Jon slowly turned to Sasha. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to insult you, but...did you happen to once work as a Constable for the Met?”
Everybody winced. Sasha sighed. “I regret all of my actions and I’m very sorry that I was once a pig and I’ll never do it again because I value due process now.”
“Word, sister,” Tim said, raising his pint. 
“Hm,” Jon said, far too much coming together.  But that left a big question, one thing that didn’t make sense. “What about me? Do I - eat trauma?”
Basira stared at him blankly. “You try, sometimes, but we usually just spray water at you until you stop.”
“That explains it,” said Jon, despite the fact that it didn’t explain anything. 
“Your questions are pointless, and this is a waste of time.” Melanie clapped her hands sharply, making everyone straighten to attention. She stood up from her seat, everybody scrambling to protect their glasses as Melanie clambered on top of the table. “Helen! Get out here!”
“She’s not - she’s not Beetlejuice, you can’t just call her name and make her appear,” Jon said blankly. “How’s she even supposed to hear -”
“She can hear me just fine,” Melanie called, “because she’s been sitting at the bar this whole time.”
Everybody’s heads craned around to look at the bar. Through the stream of people, carrying drinks and laughing, Jon could faintly make out a tall, willowy figure with a large afro sitting on a barstool at the bar, tapping the rim of one elegant martini with a long, manicured fingernail. 
Then she swiveled around, and Helen grinned broadly at all of them. She waved cheekily with one hand, fingers waving and rippling strangely in the dim pub lights. “Hello! You rang?”
Melanie jabbed a finger at the table pointedly. “Michael’s too young to be here too, Helen!”
“They’re eighteen, they’re a big non-Euclidean concept!” Helen tittered, as she hopped of the stool. Jon’s draw dropped as a much smaller, slight figure next to her hopped off too. They were a teenager, with a curly mop of blonde hair and big, watery blue eyes that seemed just a little strange. Everything about them was on the edge of familiar, and not in the usual way of the Spiral. 
“She was waiting for us to figure it out,” Basira murmured, catching Jon’s attention. “It’s definitely funny to her.”
“Helen defined schadenfreude, I’m afraid,” Jon said, depressed, as Helen and her tagalong popped up at the edge of their table. Melanie had said Michael - and the kid did look like Michael, younger and alive and wide-eyed. Their watery eyes caught on Jon, and they tilted their head curiously. The sight of them hurt Jon’s head more than the Spiral usually did - a testament to the human body he was borrowing. 
Human. That was no defense. He was vulnerable, and judging from the angle of Helen’s smile she knew it. 
“Enjoying your vacation, Archivist?” Helen tittered, folding her hands girlishly as Melanie hopped off the table and back in her seat. “I’ve been having so much fun in this universe I thought I ought to bring a friend! Buy one plane ticket get one free, you know. I have this coupon for a great spa around here -”
“Helen,” Melanie intoned dangerously.
Helen tittered a nervous laugh. Was she...scared of Melanie? “Don’t worry! Your darling little Jon’s perfectly safe. He’s having a great time in one of my favorite dimensions, this wonderful post-apocalyptic adventure with a werewolf -
“Helen,” Melanie said slowly, danger building with every word, “we talked about what happens when you remove Jons from their native ecosystems.”
“They get sick,” Michael said somberly, nodding their head. “An’ wilt.”
“It is very stressful for the Jon, Helen. You know what we don’t like?”
“A stressed Jon?” Michael volunteered. 
“Yes, Michael.” Melanie smiled pleasantly at Helen, who blanched. “A stressed Jon. Because when Jon gets stressed, my girlfriend gets stressed. And when my girlfriend gets stressed, I get stressed. And when I get stressed, everybody is about to have a very bad time. Get it? Helen?”
“Completely understood, very sympathetic, I see your point completely,” Helen said hurriedly. “Really, you can say that I did my dear Archivist a favor! He hasn’t had a human body in almost half a year, the poor dear was so sad about it. It’s a break, really!”
Tim squinted at Jon. “You’re really full on fear demon, then?”
Jon squirmed guiltily, ashamed.  “I prefer the term Avatar. But...yes, I’m an amoral monster distant from humanity, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Melanie said impatiently. “You’re about as far from humanity as I am. Having stupid superpowers or cramming shitty food into your mouth doesn’t make you inhuman, it just means you hang out with the wrong crowd. Go back to your own universe and get some rest, I bet you’re stressing out all your friends.”
“I’m really not,” Jon said weakly. “I - I really only have one friend.”
“No wonder you look so tragic all the time,” Sasha said thoughtfully. “Jon gets all mopey without affection. Like an unwatered plant.”
“I eat trauma,” Jon said, bewildered at the perception of harmlessness. 
“You and half of the YouTube vlogging community.” Melanie clapped her hands again sharply, pulling everyone to attention. “Helen. Put Jon back where he came from or so help me.”
“Ruining all my fun,” Helen pouted, but at Melanie’s glare she sighed. She held up one hand, and static rippled through the air. The hand elongated, twisted, and turned into Helen’s signature lengthy claw. Michael eyed it with interest, before holding up their own hand and doing the same. “Fun while it lasted, Archivist! Now hold still. I wouldn’t want to lobotomize the wrong lobe.”
“Nice meeting you,” Sasha said politely, to a very freaked out Jon. “Don’t come back, though.”
“Come back if you want,” Basira yawned. “My life’s boring, spice it up a little.”
“Sorry I’m dead in your universe or whatever,” Tim said, waving a hand. “Life and death is meaningless anyway, so I’m sure it’s for the best.”
“I want my Jon back,” Martin complained. “Go on and get out, then.”
“Tell your friends what we told you,” Melanie said. “Don’t they know that you get all tragic when you’re lonely?”
And Jon didn’t know how to say it - that they didn’t know, or if they did then they didn’t care, because they had so many bigger problems than if Jon was sad or not. With Elias’ strange plans, with Jon’s encroaching monsterhood and his slow and steady starvation, with Martin’s loneliness and Basira’s desperation and Melanie’s instability, Jon’s feelings were the least important thing in the world. 
Did it matter, to anybody but Jon, that he thought of Martin first thing in the morning and last thing as he went to bed at night? 
“Hold still and look straight at me!” Helen said, and Jon had to be thankful - because that let him look at Sasha and Tim, eyes wide and intrigued, as Helen speared her finger through Jon’s forehead. 
Jon blacked out, but the images of Sasha and Tim stayed burned behind his eyelids. He dreamed calm dreams, of him and Martin and Sasha and Tim, laughing together, as the world faded away.
****
When Jon woke up, it was with a crick in his neck, and he knew immediately he had fallen asleep on the battered old couch in his office again. 
There was a heavy weight on his chest, and when he pried his eyes open he saw the top of Daisy’s head in front of him. Dusty blonde hair pooled on his chest as Daisy snored, deep asleep, arm stretched over his torso. 
The taste of salt and grease was on his tongue, and Jon let himself go back to sleep. The dreams would be terrifying and desolate, but at least in them he was never hungry. 
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lilyjanejohnson · 3 years
Text
Sooo, I had been looking for a good challenge for the sims, but didn't find one about greek goddesses. So I decided to make one, Enjoy!😊
The greek goddess challenge is a 10 generation challenge. Every gen represents a different acient greek goddess. I stuck to the mythology with some, and with some I just thought some stuff up. I would like to say that this challenge is with goddesses, so treat your sims with a little respect and don't forget that they're goddesses so they can get pregnant by anyone (man/woman/nonbinary) if you want them to. I do recommend using mccc to control the gender and amount of babies :) have fun!
Gen 1: Gaia/Rhea
Mother nature. You're a very goodnatured woman who wants best for your children. Unfortunately, you don't have such a good taste in love. You constantly fall in love with the wrong people. You love nature in all it's glory and you are very zen. You love doing yoga and teaching your kids everything you know.
• Traits: Loves the outdoors, good, musiclover
• Aspiration: big happy family
• Kids: Aphrodite, Zeus, Hestia (goddess of fire), Eos (godess of dawn), Hemera (godess of the day), Apollo (god sun and music) (you can skip some if you like)
• Must marry very young (before adult) to a man/woman with hates children.
• All children must be from the same man/woman (^wife/husband) but one (affair or finally breaking things off)
• Must complete aspiration
• Must max parenting and piano skill
• Must divorce once and not remarry
Gen 2: Aphrodite
Goddess of love and beauty. You grew up with all the love you needed. But you crave a different kind of love, a love that sets your whole body on fire. You like to party and are not ashamed of your body, you love yourself and are all about positivity. You are also a super passionate woman, which causes you to fall in love quickly. But sadly also out, as you get bored with a lot of people. Until you meet that one person. You would do anything to be with that person. The only problem is that you're already in an relationship... Well at least you have inspiration for your next romance novel.
• Traits: Romantic, Self assured, Art lover
• Aspiration: Soulmate
• Kids: at least one (Hera)
• Must have an affair with someone who will be parent to Hera.
• Must complete aspiration
• Must max charisma and writing skill
• Can marry soulmate as an elder
Gen 3: Hera
Goddess of mariages, goddesses and women. Despite what your mother always said about marriage being about love, you know better: marriage is an economic preposition. It will help you make or it will destroy you. And you will make it. No matter what. When you marry that is what you expect. But your husband does not seem to have the same view on the world. He has all these affairs and illigemate children all over the world, and altough you try and tell yourself that it doesn't matter, you get jealous and hurt. The only person you can rely on is yourself and that becomes painfully clear.
• Traits: Hotheaded, Jealous, Ambitious
• Aspiration: World famous (or mansion baroness)
• Kids: Demeter, Hermes
• Must max all toddler skills
• Must max actress career.
• Must divorce once an elder
• Must max acting skill and aspiration
Gen 4: Demeter
Goddess of agriculture, fertility, law and harvest. Growing up you hated the way your mother was so strict. You wanted to be free and dance in the rain. You've always loved farms and nature, so when you are grown up you want to plant. Sadly, your mother does not agree with your view on the world. Well, you were never like your strict brother Hermes anyways. You will live your life. A happy and free life.
• Traits: Loves outdoors, Bro, Vegetarian
• Aspiration: Freelance Botanist
• Kids: Antheia (Flowers and swamps), Persephone, Iris (Rainbow)
• Must leave home immediately when turning young adult and start at a 0 simoleons budget, building your way up.
• Cannot have a fulltime job
• Must have at least 2 kids before adulthood
• Must marry for love (finally hahaha)
• Must have a cat
• Must complete aspiration
• Be wholesome
Gen 5: Persephone
Goddess of spring and queen of the underworld. You grew up in a very happy environment. You loved playing with your sisters and running trough your garden. You have a great relationship with your family. You see the world a little different from other people. You see light even in the darkest places. So when you meet your soulmate, you can see through their darkness to the light inside, even though others might not see that. Especially your mom, who you know wants the best for you, but is wrong when talking about your soulmate. You know you two can be happy.
• Traits: Cheerful, Dancemachine, Outgoing
• Aspiration: Musical Genius
• Kids: Nyx, Elpis (hope)
• Must elope with someone with a dark or lonely personality (Evil, loner, kleptomanic) or vampire when quite young
• Must max photography and violin skill
• Must complete aspiration
• Must move far from family with partner
• Cannot see family in winter
Gen 6: Nyx
Goddess of the night. Growing up you were always a little different from your mother and sister, who are both sunny people. You're more like your other parent, like the night. You constantly feel overshadowed by the almost over the top energy of your sister. It's not that you don't love her, she's just a little... much. You are not as interested in nature as the rest of your family. You are more of a technical sim. You like things that you have a little more control over.
• Traits: Genius, Gloomy, Materialistic
• Aspiration: Computer Whiz
• Kids: Mania,
• Must max Rocket Science and Robotics skill
• Must go to university
• Must have a bad relationship with sister, but can make up as elder
• Must have a bad relationship with daughter due to focus on career
Gen 7: Mania
Goddess of insanity, madness, crzed frenzy and the dead. With your mother away so much you got lost in your mind as a child. Now you're a teen you're.. well... a little different. While your mother was always so into her science, you can't help but wonder for other things. More magical perhaps? Something a little more exciting. Something to conquer the world. You have the power. You can change the world. Some say you're a little crazy. But what is wrong with a little fun?
• Traits: Erratic, Creative, Slob
• Aspiration: Spellcraft and Sorcery
• Kids: Thetis
• Must become a spellcaster
• Must master all mischief spells
• Must complete aspiration
• Can only have a good relationship with 2 sims
• Hates at least 7 sims
• But despite her flaws a genius at potions and spells and must get spellcaster rank 5
• Must raise someone from death
Gen 8: Thetis
Sea Nymph. You never had so much with magic. You saw what it did to your mother and you're not that interested. That's why you never really use it. Not even to repair stuff. With all the chaos in your youth you long for a calm life. So you move to sulani when you're a late-teen. You've heard it is a beautiful place and you want to do some good for the world because your mother caused so much harm. And it doesn't disappoint. You seem to have gotten the attention of the islanders. You have many flings, but most people don't seem to want to take it any further with you.
• Traits: Neat, Child of the Islands, Outgoing
• Aspiration: Beach life
• Kids: Athena, Harmonia (harmony)
• Must complete aspiration
• Must max the conservationist carreer
• Must max handiness skill
• Must have at least 5 partners pefore meeting soulmate
• Must marry a mermaid
Gen 9: Athena
Goddess of war, logic and same-sex love. Even though you love Sulani, you want to move to the city. You want to make this a better place like your mother, but then better. You want to become the president of the simworld. Then you will make a real difference. Then you can really make up for the chaos your grandmother, who you've never met, made. You shall fight evil with your words. And if you must, fists. But only if you must.
• Traits: Active, Genius, Ambitious
• Aspiration: Renaissance sim
• Kids: Artemis and Nike (Speed, victory)
• Must complete aspiration
• Must max research & debate and Logic skill.
• Must max the politics or millitary career
• Must go to uni
• Must fall in love with a female presenting sim
• Can only have 1 romantic relationship in whole life
Gen 10: Artemis
Goddess of women, the hunt, childbirth and virginity. You love everything about life. Especially nature and people. You fight for what you think is right and have a big friendgroup. You make sure to check up on your family and friends. You are very passionate about womens rights. You love to watch the stars and think life is the greatest gift. That's why you became a doctor. You want to help people, and especially people giving birth.
• Traits: Doglover, Active, Dance machine
• Aspiration: Bodybuilder/Outdoor entusiast
• Kids: Semele (Moon), Astraea (Star)
• Cannot try for baby or woohoo
• Can adopt kid(s)
• Must max fishing and dancing skill
• Must have a dog
• Must complete aspiration
• Must go camping at least twice
• Have a big friendgroup
• Must become a doctor
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tintinwrites · 4 years
Text
Sunday Morning With Pedro Characters but I’m Only Slightly an Asshole to the Characters
I love Pedro and everyone’s fics and headcanons for him and I’m kind of nice in this one anyway.
Agent Whiskey
you have brunch every Sunday and yes it is at Denny’s
it’s a little nice, though, listening to the mixed conversations of all the other people in the restaurant as the two of you quietly enjoy a meal
Jack keeps smiling across the table at you and it makes something in you flutter
“You make a man like myself enjoy Sunday morning like a black-bellied whistlin’ duck enjoys a quiet swim in the crick.”
you’re not sure how much a black-bellied whistling duck enjoys a quiet swim in the crick, but he reaches across the table to hold your hand over your Grand Slam and runs his thumb gently over your skin and you then understand everything about black-bellied whistling ducks
brunch is followed by a drive in that thing he calls a car
sometimes you go back to your or his place and canoodle (his words, not yours), but then there are times when he parks his car in a secluded little spot and you “come across the goods” (HIS WORDS, NOT YOURS) in the backseat
Sunday mornings with him are relaxed, but you are going to end up with your legs above your head thanks to that Southern charm
Comandante Veracruz
he sleeps in for an entire half hour
wakes you up with a smack to the ass so hard you wake up in another dimension
you mumble something to him about being a normal human being as he presses sucking, biting kisses along the side of your neck
“Your breakfast is ready.”
you know exactly what he means don’t even pretend you don’t it’s pressing into your thigh
and you suck his dick bc it’s fun and it makes him real soft afterwards (in two ways!)
he pounds two orgasms out of you with his fingers then gets up to get ready for his day
Sunday mornings with him are sexual obvs and then you lay in bed watching him gel his hair until he pats your ass and tells you to get up
Dave York
he’s never in bed when you wake up and that includes on Sundays
always sitting over a desk working on something that he won’t tell you about
it doesn’t really matter that you’re wearing his favorite sexy little nightgown and pouting in the doorway bc he doesn’t even look at you
“Go for a walk or something, I’m busy.”
you usually end up alone eating bland af eggs bc he doesn’t own seasonings since, and you quote, “Salt is spicy enough.”
but then he comes into the dining room with a self-satisfied smirk and he kisses your temple and takes you over the dining table real quick
do i mean quick
Sunday mornings with him are lonely and then sweaty...so sweaty...you don’t understand how he can sweat so much from thirty seconds of sex
Din Djarin
whatever the Star Wars equivalent of Sunday is, no one is the same with Din
sometimes you’re with him on a hunt for a bounty, sometimes you’re alone on the Razor Crest to watch the Child as he works, and then there are your favorites
no bounties, no running, just a handful of credits and some good food and lodging on the nearest good planet
“He likes it here.”
this is something Din muses as he watches the kid play with other younglings or explore or happily eat a new food
but sometimes you look up to find he’s staring at you as he says it and you wonder if he’s talking about himself without really telling you
you’ll probably tell him you love him on one of these days
Sunday mornings with him are different, but nice just because you’re with him. You especially like the ones where he’s happy and almost calm and let’s you in his room once the Child is asleep
Ezra
you’ve been up for an hour and he’s still passed out, face down in bed, snoring his head off
I don’t know if ‘noon’ exists in this world but that’s when he’ll be up
you’re walking around doing what needs to be done when you see him looking up at you with a little smile
“Your inimitable beauty is even more prominent in this morning light.”
you tell him it’s not morning and roll your eyes when he says he’s hard either way
he seems sleepy but he WILL jump out of bed if you try to walk away and drag you back in with him
yes he eats your pussy without you needing to ask him
Sunday mornings with him are lazy for him as you occupy your time, then both of you stay in bed all lazy until it’s time to go prospecting
Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales
the only way you’re waking him up before eleven is by wiggling your ass or hips into his dick, depending on the position you were sleeping in
he works hard and Sundays are his day where he does nothing but you
a little sleepy and mumbling things, he’ll take you slowly and sweetly
“G’morning. So beautiful. You like that?”
he’ll make sure you both cum then promptly pass out for another ten minutes
he pads into the kitchen with his hair stuck up all over the place and wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your neck for a few minutes before helping you make breakfast or lunch
you pretty much eat and bang all day
Sunday mornings with him are soft and sensual and the most loving thing e v e r
Javier Peña
you woke up alone before Javi and when you first started sleeping with him
you couldn’t really blame him for being scared of attachments in his line of work. you were scared too
then one day you were shaken from a stakeout and you begged him to stay when he was still inside you, and he started falling asleep in your bed a bit more often
“You need some good dick in the morning?”
he teases you with this when he's sitting up in bed, turned away from you as he takes a drag of a cigarette, and you crawl over to kiss his back
you need him in the morning but you don’t want to scare him off
the two of you usually end up with some sort of pastry or street food for breakfast, which you eat in a comfortable silence
Sunday mornings with him are lonely even when he’s standing right there by the window with a cigarette or a drink, and yet he finally makes your Sundays enjoyable and fulfilling
Marcus Pike
he’s an early riser, but he let’s you sleep as long as you need to when there’s nothing to be done
sometimes he accidentally wakes you up a little when he’s kissing your nose for the eight time and he quickly backs away to let you fall back asleep
he does try to wake you up before noon just to be sure you eat something, presenting you with some kind of breakfast whether he made it or bought it from the nearest cafe
“Hey, sleepyhead. You need to eat something, beautiful.”
you nibble on a doughnut or a bagel as you lean into his chest, and he mostly steals bites because it makes you laugh
morning sex with Marcus is the best sex with Marcus
okay any sex with Marcus is the best sex with Marcus because he cares so much about your pleasure but morning sex is so soft and gentle
Sunday mornings with him are like...a breeze on an empty beach with the waves crashing gently on the shore. Perfect. Also he wants to give you a life, and a home, and a family if you want it
Maxwell Lord
wakes up at six AM exactly, works on his hair until seven, and is in a suit and downstairs by 7:15
he reads the paper. the business pages. yes.
you come down to the kitchen at eight and as you gently tell his personal chef what you’d like to eat, he snaps his fingers at them to speed it up
“Someone’s lazy today. Where are my slippers?”
he’s a fuckin jerk but hey he puts his hand on your thigh as you eat breakfast and maybe his thumb rubs little circles sometimes
your Sunday sex is scheduled for 9:30 and he will do it wherever he’s flexible and there’s enough mirrors in the house for it to work for him
the one day of the week he decides you can orgasm tbh
Sunday mornings with him are rich. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s like being married to a rich man in 1954. There’s waffles.
Max Phillips
this man wakes up pretty damn early for a vampire thanks to his executive bullshit
an actual Sim who stands in front of the mirror for an hour practicing his speech
he finds blood to drink somewhere and you just let him as long as it’s not from you
“Selling is service. Service is selling. Sex sells. Oh, hey!”
that’s him realizing you’re standing there and thinking about sex with you
he mentions making a sex tape of the two of you to sell and you ask if he even shows up on film and the boy POUTS
a handjob fixes that tho so
Sunday mornings with him are...interesting.
Oberyn Martell
you’re probably still fucking from Saturday night
I don’t even know if days of the week exist in Game of Thrones thanks
there are other people in the room including Ellaria so it’s not just you and him alone
“I’m starving for you.”
yes he eats pussy for breakfast and someone else is probably sucking on your titties
you’ll probably end up sucking his dick for your own breakfast
and you’ll be riding him too
Sunday mornings with him are like any other morning with him; fuckin’.
Pero Tovar
he wakes up an hour before sunrise
doing men’s work I DO NOT KNOW WHAT MEN DO
you wake up and make him his breakfast because that’s what a good 1100′s wife does
“Good morning, woman.”
he eats like he’s angry at the food but you know he loves it
there wasn’t much to do back then so some good ole baby-making sex is next
then you cook his second breakfast duh
Sunday mornings with him are very Middle Ages.
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