#like has the internet really poisoned people's brains so much that they just up and forgot pregnancy is a thing that can happen at any time

[prismatoxic]

hanamusa artist: (puts screenshots of the wiki pages for jessie and delia under several comics to prove their ages are 25 and 29)

me: surely this isn't necessary. it's in your FAQ, and people can't really be--

me: (looks at the comments of one such post)

me: (look at the comments of yet another one)

me: i think i give the internet too much credit sometimes

#the amount of people freaking the fuck out about delia having ash when she was 19 is doing permanent damage to my psyche #i don't know how to tell you this. but women have children young A LOT #sometimes because they want to and sometimes when they don't #acting like it's some moral evil isn't fucking helping anybody #like anti/fancop/etc mindsets are bad enough but this is such a weird thing to be nitpicky over when it happens irl ALL THE TIME #my mom was 33 when she had me but serzh's mom WAS 18 or 19 iirc #and i went to an independent study high school bc of my mental health and let me tell you #all the pregnant teens who can't/won't get abortions that you think aren't an issue #ARE IN THOSE SCHOOLS. #i made friends with one she was very nice. felt bad about what she was going through but it wasn't my business #like has the internet really poisoned people's brains so much that they just up and forgot pregnancy is a thing that can happen at any time #and a lot of women can't abort/don't want to abort/are convinced not to abort/think they can handle a baby at 19 #maybe this isn't surprising. i don't know. i really didn't think this was an issue people had. #they're not even making disparaging comments about ash's deadbeat dad who would. you know. be the one who knocked her up at 19. #like it reeks of a moral judgement on DELIA? ARE YOU HIGH? #remind me to not read post comments #tox.txt

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Thanks for your response. I was the anon who ended the ask with 'the fandom can suck it'. When I saw that anon who you and twinanimatronics had assumed to be the one that keeps you know starting shit with you, I really hated that they labeled us as shipbrain or whatever they said. I am aroace who finds comfort in shipping characters and that doesn't make me any less aroace. Can't people like them just let us have this, let us share it and stop taping our mouths? God. We are not even hurting anyone. I posted a solarxmoon and solarxearth mini comic thing yesterday and behold, I believe that same anon found it and is looking adamantly through the solarxmoon and even solarxearth because I didn't use the tsams tag for my comic. I took the comic down fast and turned off anon messages so quick because God that anon was quick to leave nasty messages, six in total and that was panic attack inducing. I'm sorry for rambling about this. I don't know anyone else who got that same anon on their back. It looks like they are persistent for lack of better term and it annoys me+scares me. Can't even share things I like about here anymore. Hoping solarxmoon becomes canon so that anon can shut up already

If Solar Moon became canon, they don't even need to change anything.

The actors don't even need to pretend to kiss or be romanically involved at all.

It's literally as simple as "Oh yeah, we were dating for months, anyway..."

OH AND... FUCK THAT ANON. I know the user you are talking about, I think there's around two or three of them... and it seems like they're dead set on hunting down people who use that Solarmoon or Solar x Moon tag.

Going into popular users in the tsams fandom that I personally don't know... and spreading bad lies and rumors about me.

Like, they typically try to keep it as vague as possible, like "oh I am not talking about dana-chan-the-control-brain specifically....." but they often steal the exact wording and turn of phrase I use.

Cause I have an overly wordy way of talking on the internet.

I've always been this way since I was 15, so I feel my style of speaking is pretty overly wordy, rambly and long compared to most people just because I don't have a lot to share with my opinions with in real life. And I also misspell things a lot cus spellcheck has gotten worse since it became AI trained and it doesn't help my dyslexia.

But how sad is that? That someone is searching out the tag for a ship that they don't like, claim that "it's everywhere" and I'm "poisoning the fanbase" when I'm just.... here... playing with my own dolls, doing my own thing.... and not bothering anyone... Not even putting the ship in the tags publicly because I have Such respect and love for the silly little youtube show, who also plays with fnaf characters like they're dolls.

(just saying.. "bio-organic" and interdimensional travel did NOT come from fnaf I can tell you that much. )

And yeah, if they're really stumbling across Solarmoon or these ships on accident.......Blacklist the tags and move on? Don't come to my messages... Don't harass my friends...

And don't harass other people I DON'T EVEN KNOW because someone just said "hehe but what if they kissed" on the internet?

Like blocklist the tag, and move on.

I know the blocklisting tagging system sucks sometimes, so maybe it's picking up "Solar" like in that case? Just scroll super fast and don't look at it?

And yeah. You don't deserve those nasty messages sent your way at all!

Oh, and if you feel brave enough to reupload your art to tumblr and DM me, I will gladly reblog it here. <3

#danachan's rants #danachan's replies #danachan's asks

[gowns]

ok last post for the day but did you know that literally unpacking your repression will cure you?

i've been unpacking the word and the concept of "repression" for the past 11 months and it has taken me on a journey that has just. literally repaired holes in my brain

and i didn't even know i was repressed. i thought i was "normal" and knew about all the edges and sides of myself

but it turns out that there was more to discover. and i have resolved to never be so set in stone again, so sure of what i know and don't know, how i identify, how i operate, how i navigate

your body and life and mind are all very malleable, expandable; you can be so much stronger, so much more confident, than you are now. even if you think you're already strong and confident

you don't know what you don't know...

--

the biggest reoccuring issue that i see on the internet is people posting with such authority, being so sure that they're right, even when they're speaking from a very narrow point of view, and have had a sheltered, judgmental upbringing. so they're just projecting their very limited experience on everything else. i know because i used to be guilty of that too.

but now i'm so... like, i am so fulfilled, so happy, and in a constant state of open curiosity, closer to zen than i have ever been before.

and i had to get there through being dragged through gravel at the bottom of a pit; i had nightmares about demons coming through screens, false reality, eyes following me everywhere. this is a really personal note here. you might not resonate with this. but i think that "madness" or nightmares can sometimes be a signpost of something else that's bothering you. i know that i was flagging to myself that the internet and television and etc, while it is very entertaining, it's also literally false reality, like, you could waste your whole life caring about tweets and hot takes and shit. i could just work on my little computer then watch tv and sleep and that would be my whole life. but it was all a coping mechanism for an unfulfilled life.

so then -- what is it that would make for a fulfilled life? even if it feels scary, out of reach, impossible; even if it feels shameful (not from a real sense, i.e. harming someone else, but from an imaginary sense, like "i don't know why, but when i think about this thing that doesn't hurt anyone, i feel sick, like i shouldn't do it, but i want to do it, i feel like i have to do it"--)--

i think there is soooo much repression out there, because we're just steeped in it. and there's the repression that you know about, then a whole shadowy area of your mind that's the repression you're not even conscious of. and maybe sometimes things lash out from those shadows; you project things onto other people, carry grudges, can't feel satisfied with anything, etc

i've dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety and intrusive thoughts and so on, and a lot of it just.......... stopped. over the past year. from unpacking the repression

(i also feel personally that a lot of people who subscribe to conservative ideologies are repressed on some level. and in my mental mind map, there's "repression" < - > "trauma" < - > "isolation" with lines pencilled in heavily between each of them)

and it's like... you open yourself up to yourself, you open up to other people more, you become more engaged in your community, build better friendships, etc.

because it's like repression is poison in the soil... and the more we get rid of that shit the more we can grow, open up, more things grow..

it's just one word, it can mean different things to different people, but i think we could all attack it with the same woodpecker-like ferocity that i am attacking my own repression. you know? then it would be like. oh shit. i had a tool of imperialism and colonialism and white supremacy and heteropatriarchy and protestant / catholic control just festering inside of me for years. damn. good thing i got it out!

#edit: this was not the last post of the day #where art thou adderall

[house-of-mirrors]

Also hey unrelated but. My autistic ass can only read so much wiki or trawl the Internet for Forbidden Story Information before my eyes start to glaze over. I know the *name* Dawn Machine but I never got around to doing its Sunless Sea quest (something something The Sun drives people mad??? Space is made of gods or something right? I know the giant undersea Mouth is like. A fallen god or something) anyway what I'm saying is please consider this an open offer to infodump potentially in DMs about whatever Fallen London lore is particularly itching your brain because i *will* eat that shit up like a hungry baby bird

Sorry this took a bit to get to, my grad school semester started and I was a bit all over the place. You can ask me about the forbidden story information: But Watch Out. (major spoilers under the cut for FL and sskies) Anyway without further ado, *deep breath*

The Dawn Machine is an artificial judgement built a few decades ago and is now under the jurisdiction of the admiralty. They use it as an excuse to be horrible imperialists but I don't think they actually care about the machine's consciousness beyond using it as a tool of oppression. It hates everyone and itself. It knows it shouldn't exist and that makes it angry. It wTHE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE S- and I digress. It has a counterpart in skies called the Clockwork Sun which is in a similar situation but slowly dying and on its way to taking the whole region with it. They turn stuff to crystal or glass respectively which I'm really curious as to why, considering the White (who is like a cosmic spymaster and the main villain of the judgements, you can fight me on this it's true) is described as having "a hall of poisoned crystal." All my homies HATE the white. YOU can't oppose the white but I'm built differently. I read a single line of text in skies that teased "the war on the white" and I'm like hey get back here! You can't just drop that and leave! I hope the recent lore declassification means we'll get a story in Fallen London exploring more of it (and violence against it)

Which leads into the second point, "space is made of gods." The Judgements, the stars, whatever you call them are godlike beings at the top of the order called the great chain, which is an allegory to victorian era social hierarchy. The chain dictates how powerful you are and what your role is and you're not supposed to be allowed to change your place. Understandably this made many people very angry and is widely considered to be a bad move, etc. Anyway the judgements are more or less what it says on the label, space's judges and courts who make the laws of the universe. Light is Law. From skies, there are lines that suggest the judgements didn't choose their role either. "The chain binds us all. It is our privilege to enforce it." I want to know what happened, like did they put themselves in power a long time ago and current generations remain stuck? Interesting for how an oppressive system harms those on top too. Also, we know that they weren't always in charge. There are characters in skies (Mr Menagerie) who remember a time before they ruled. There is no divine right of kings. This system didn't always exist and it can be overthrown. They aren't gods. They're fallible as mortals with petty wars and affairs and they don't want anyone to know how many problems their society has. "As below, so above." The liberation of the night seeks to overthrow all tyrants, up to and including the stars.

In sunless skies you can interact with the sapphir'd king, the lord of the dead, whom I affectionately like to call the Sapphire'd bitch. I wrote a fic about meeting him and from that point kept talking about how I wanted to plot his demise. Then the truth ambition said "congrats. You get to plot the demise of the sapphird king" and I said "oh. Neat. Back to being a merchant while I process that for 3-5." Sure is a game! Shortly tho, once I work up the nerve, I'll be finishing the "truth" ambition in skies and so will be posting a whole thing when I do, likely incoherent. Look forward to it.

Something specific that interests me in skies is how you can interact with a character who used to be a judgement but seemingly willingly chose to descend the chain to human. She remembers being a cruel leader and is glad she is no longer, and specifically a masculine figure so like yay trans rights. But we already know I have strong feelings towards beings that used to be stars 🙈

Now as for the third thing I haven't played much sea but I know there's speculation the Neath was formed from the skull of a dead god. Storm, one of the zee gods, is a dead god whose consciousness lingers and is angry because it knows it's dead. We see this in skies as well, the "bones of a star" which are large enough to encompass London, whose mind lingers in a ghost, angry to be dead.

I could go into some of the other stellar characters we learn about in skies but I'll save that for another post and more organized thoughts.

I typed up this stream of consciousness rant while in a swimming pool. Hope it's what you were looking for! I have Head full Many thoughts about the judgements all the time all the time

#lore spoilers #fl spoilers #sunless skies spoilers #truth spoilers #sskies playthrough #look at all those spoiler tags #lore discussion #thanks for the ask #this is my trap card I could talk about the judgements all day

[sapphic-sex-ed]

I know this is just a me problem & I need to just suck it up and deal with it but I feel... incredibly guilty about not wanting to have sex with my friends. For one, I've never had a friend actually want to engage in that with me so a part of it might be me feeling bad about "not being good enough", but another part of me feels like the queer community is advancing to new places that gives them more joy, freedom, and love and it feels like since the topic is so triggering to me (for no good reason mind you) that I just don't really belong? I haven't been able to talk to other queer people or go to pride events because I'm in such a small, homophobic town. But I feel like if I showed up to a queer event, I just wouldn't fit in and they just would not like me. Not only for looking overly masculine and kinda yucky (not in way thats celebrated in the queer community) after my transition, but because the accomodations I would need for my triggers would just be too unrealistic to expect them to accomodate to (I've been in therapy for nearly 10 yrs, unfortunately some triggers just dont go away). And also bc I'm a sapphic trans guy and ,, man idk if that would piss people off.

I just want to ask, is it okay if I still view sex as sacred for myself but don't think poorly of people who have casual sex or sex with friends? If anything, I'm envious of them for being able to have such a connection to their friends that I would never be comfortable having.

I’m glad to hear you’re seeing a therapist, it’s very clear from your ask that you’re struggling with very low self-worth and I’ve been there and it sucks.

As for your question itself — sex positivity and sex acceptance are about finding a sexuality that feels good for you and don’t shame those whose sexuality feels good to them but isn’t the same as yours. If sex is something sacred to you that is for you alone or only to share with a select few then that is always valid as long as it feels good to you. At the same time, having sex with friends and having multiple partners is just as valid as long as it’s what the people practicing it wants. Neither one has the right to shame or devalue the other.

I notice a pattern in your ask, where you make claims about how you feel people will respond to you. This is a normal thing our human brains do, but this anxiety seems to be preventing you from going out and trying. You think but you do not know that people wouldn’t accept you. Thou think but you do not know that you wouldn’t fit in. Internet queer discourse is poison basically and people in the irl communities are usually a lot more accepting. Online we kinda forget that we’re interacting with other people, but irl we can’t do that as easily (although dehumanization of minorities is a thing, so not impossible but it takes a lot more organized, structural effort). In Swedish we have this expression “provtänka” which roughly translates to “try-thinking” or “attempting-think” where we sort of say a thought we had to other people, usually friends, to try it out. It can be something beneficial like “wait isn’t it strange that inflation is up 4% but benefits have only increased by 2,6%?” and then we can all curse capitalism together. But it can also be (and this is a real example of a thing I said when I was 16) “there are so many bad parents like shouldn’t the government like make you take tests and and out a license for you to reproduce so no children get harmed” and your friends will rightfully go “no wtf??? That’s such an over-reach of government power what are you on???”. Like you try out a thought that you haven’t thought about that much or aren’t that invested in and you do a vibe check basically. Like that pregnancy thought was whack but I hadn’t really thought about it. Luckily my friends were reasonable people who asked what tf was wrong with me and explained why that was a horrible thing and I haven’t thought that way since. Online, you sorta either get jumped which has the effect of you doubling down on your not even fully formed opinion bc you get defensive, or you find other whack jobs who agree and that’s how radicalization happens.

So to the point bc I lost it bc that who I am as a person: people are a lot more forgiving offline and if someone has doubts initially, they’re less likely to voice them, and if they do they’re likely to get checked, and if they don’t just spending time with you will humanize you (which is why people from bigger cities are usually more open-minded, bc exposure to people different than them).

And a last point to wrap up: you write that you’re “envious of them for being able to have such a connection to their friends that I would never be comfortable having”. Relationships aren’t a hierarchy. Romantic relationships aren’t superior to friendships, and sex with friends isn’t superior to hook-ups or long-term partners, and partnered sex isn’t superior to solo sex. They’re different flavors and not everyone will like the same thing. I can’t stand olives but I love pineapple on pizza. I once dated a girl who despised potatoes. Neither is better than the other. I can’t really understand why she would hate potatoes and most people I believe find it strange, but like that’s just her preference. And I know many people find me strange for my choices in pizza toppings (pineapple, banana and curry).

That is to say: it sucks when you feel left out of some type of relationship you’ll never have — I’m an only child hand have always been envious of people with siblings — but that doesn’t mean that type is “better” or that that type of connection is “deeper” than what’s possible within the types of relationships that would fit you.

-mod liz

#mod liz #sorry for the ramble lmao #queer #relationshps #kink mention

[ladybuggirl123]

Fascism/Flop Eras/The Art Of The Rebrand

If the tone of this post is completely different from last week it’s because my prozac just started working!! If i came off as obsessive and impulsive it’s because i was!! i’m working on it 😁

Alright, Where did we leave off?…

Emotional Terrorism I believe it was-

I now see how entirely dramatic this phrase is(tysm prozac). I probably need to watch my provocative language, I’ve never In my life been a chill or fun girlfriend.

If “emotional terrorist” is a fitting title for any of these people honestly who could blame them, i’m basically an emotional fascist. After my regime is overthrown I have to rebrand obviously.

Teenager’s (and me), are calling this “having an era” . A little google action reminded me this all started with the “Flop Era”

This is what a flop era looks like for the unfamiliar:

this is what getting ur emotionally fascist empire taken down by a emotional terrorist does to a mf

#bringbackcryingselfies

i think i almost bought a “flop era” tshirt in 2021 but i went with ironically hot instead

simpler times…lol

Anyway all the sudden everypony online was in their fleabag era or their reputation era. It’s 2023 Taylor Swift’s having her eras tour and now I barely remember who I was before it became a part of the cultural zeitgeist for a normal non celebrity girl to have definable eras.

here are a few favorites of mine:

i don’t endorse any of these eras also i think i probably do this to an unhealthy degree

bpd grrl era:

grunge post woke fleabag on vyvanse era:

the I ready theory (only lasch) era

looking like I play a [REDACTED] in a [REDACTED] era:

Rebranding isn’t a new thing at all but hyper specific digital language used to describe how you express yourself obviously is and this is a tired conversation at this point.

How is “I’m in my looksmaxxed bushwick kinderwhore era” a thing you could say and how did I get to a point in my life where i know exactly what that would mean. It’s internet buzzword salad and it feels like it’s too much information for my brain to be storing and holding onto at all times (is this where my ancestors kept the berry forageing knowledge? is this really what i’m using it for??)

quick grass touching break 4 u

whatever mental illness i have was designed to pick this shit apart for hours so sometimes this all drives me a little nuts but it’s ok cause i’m a mental health warrior💪🏼

When you feel it’s time for your new era you could sift through pinterest rabbit holes and tiktok echochambers trying to find the perfect niche that describes the new and improved you. You’ll probably find a corner of the internet with other people just like you who like all the same esoteric celebrities you do, who listen to the same underground bands and who all talk the same cool way. But they are all doing it a little better than you.

Then you wake up from the digital coma you slipped into from stemming from unsupervised internet access at a young age, and you realize this is the dumbest shit in the world and ur actually and literally a full ass adult..

🎀Here is my personal plan of action for a non internet poisoned rebrand:🎀

Step 1- The Transformational Event

This could be a breakup, a breakdown, a move, or just a general realization that challenges all ideas you previously had about yourself.

Step 1.5- Deep Emotional Pain

😁

Step 2- Get Ur Ass up

Envision the you that has moved on and no longer feels held down by the emotional weight of the situation. How do they spend their free time? What passions are they pursuing ? what kind of people do they surround themselves with? lastly how do they dress how would they adorn their space? Work from the inside out.

Instead of looking up glass skin healed french girl aesthetic on pinterest you could journal about this version of you or even make a physical vision board.

Step 3- Faking it

Initially you might feel like you are not mentally stable or cool enough or whatever to be this person. But the person is you and the only way you can become them is to just start.

Step 4- God and Faeries take over

Spoiler alert: what i referred to as “faking it” in the last step is also called vibrating at a higher frequency. As I type this out I’m aware that i only maybe half believe it but also this has always worked for me my whole life so……

The circumstances in your life will basically rise to meet you where you are. you’ll start to realize you have the types of friends the new version of you would, you’ll develop the habits you wanted to and you’ll realize you have faked it till you made it.

Step 5- You are sexier and doing better than you ever imagined!

As time goes by and you think back to yourself immediately after the initial transformational event you’ll realize you have become even cooler and happier and more grown up than you hoped you’d be

If u did this right you’ll also feel a little bit of gratitude for the transformational experience because it basically provided a short cut for ur prefrontal cortex development.

that’s all the knowledge i have on this phenomenon here’s a tiktok and a podcast episode that probably inspired me to write this

#Spotify #coquettestyle #girl interrupted #red scare #blokecore #bushwick #indie sleaze #2014 tumblr #rookie magazine #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #lana del rey #2014 nostalgia #girl blog #caroline polachek #blog #writeblr #writing

[tarmac-rat]

WIP (Last) Wednesday

Tagged by @ghostoffuturespast

Hey y'all! I'm taking a hot little mental break from intense internet usage, partially work motivated and partially because my head just isn't feelin' all that zesty at the moment. I'm probably going to just take it easy for a little while so I promise I'm not ignoring anyone but I just really need a break from being online for a bit and spring-clean my head.

That also extends to a few tag games and I WILL be getting to those when I have a brain that doesn't feel like concrete slurry lol.

Not tagging anyone this round, hope y'all'll forgive me for that because you know how much I love reading shit, but please give it a whirl if you want!

From Chapter 18 of Rain in the Desert. Trying something a little different literarily in the one scene where I think it could possibly fit:

“For fuck’s sake, Alt, you had one job— one goddamn job— and you fucked it up!” the fury in Johnny’s voice could’ve burned this whole place down to ashes. He’s facing the AI fully now, chromed and ‘ganic hands both clenched in shaking fists, as though he’s debating when to stop throwing barbs and start throwing punches. ““Promised the kid a new life and what, all the sudden she’s just a goner? You fucking lied!?” “I could not know the situation until I ran a thorough and precise diagnosis.” “Well, run it again!” “The data is conclusive—” “Run. It. Again.” The world has closed in. Suddenly, V is aware of everything around her. The errant pixels floating on the air. The streams of data writhing beneath her fingers. The empty synthetic pulse of this coded Netscape pounding in her ears as it presses down on her.  The fact that she can’t feel her heartbeat. How had she not noticed that she can’t feel her heartbeat? “All testing conducted before and after the engram creation procedure has drawn the same results. Were V’s engram to be reuploaded back into her form, the body would remain stable for several weeks. But soon, it would begin to degenerate. Muscle tissue will atrophy. Neurons will attack neurons. Cellular growth will stall, then break down entirely, poisoning the host’s internal systems until they fail, one by one.”  “Get to the point, goddamnit! In human terms!” “Under these conditions, the body would survive for about six months. Perhaps somewhat more. Then it will die, and she along with it.” Everything is spinning. V can’t breathe, can’t focus, can hardly make sense of her own thoughts anymore. She wants to speak but all her words are hooks in the back of her throat, sinking deeper into flesh the more she tries to force them out. In the midst of the roiling chaos inside of her, V eyes have dropped to the tips of her steel-toed boots, red stark against the blue below them. And if she dares to look long and hard enough, she can see something flickering there. Faint lines of code, perfect rows of data hidden beneath the surface, pulled along her form like blood pulled through a vein. “Bullshit! Everything you just said has been bullshit! We get you into Mikoshi, you save her life— that was the fuckin’ deal, Alt! Fix this!” “There is nothing I can do. The Relic’s nanites have irreversibly altered the host organism in order to accommodate the construct stored within. From this point forward, the body will see V as an intruder.” “But it’s her body!” “No. It is yours.”  Six months.  That’s all she gets from this. Six more painful, agonizing, soul-shredding months of life in a mutinous body, and then she’s gone.  Just like that. Everything they’d done. Everyone they’d killed. Every bloodied and battered and broken step that brought them here. Every. Last. One. For nothing. Unless she lets him slide into her skin. It’s tailored for him now. It won’t reject him. He would survive.  Live on. A life for a life. She swore she’d take a bullet for him.  He swore he’d take it first. One body, two people, and the fool’s pact they made in a tiny motel room at the end of the world. It all comes cycling back.  Like it always does.  Like it always will. “—you understand?” It’s a few seconds before V realizes that Alt’s question had been directed towards her. “I…” she stammers, then trails off, her voice sputtering off into nothingness.  She can’t stop staring at her boots. “Do you understand?” V shakes her head. “G-g-gimme a minute,” she finally forces out, “I ne..I-I need to think.” “You must make a—” “I said, give me one fucking minute!” V snarls. A long lull follows that. Then, she hears Alt’s detached voice echoing out; “Very well.”

#Aldi speaks #Aldi writes #How long can I Laffy Taffy stretch this scene in short staccato bursts of sentences before it becomes obnoxious? The world may never know #Life's really been kicking me in the nards this week ngl I'm just kinda taking my life one step at a time for the moment and chilling #Getting through the month #*sighs*

[transmissionsfromthebattlefield]

Hard Living

Pussy Gillette are hands down one of the best recent groups in existence. And to think frontwoman Masani didn't first pick up a bass until her thirties and all of their music videos—favorably—look like a straight rip from a thrice-copied VHS tape you would get your grubby hands on from a cool skater buddy in either 1988 or 1998. They are as real and raw as it gets, yet the video of theirs linked above, which just came out a few days ago, has just 312 views at the time of me writing this.

A message of defiant empowerment that pairs big-smile badassery with a great and much needed sense of humor, buried against the tides of internet business as usual. I don't think people are quite ready for Pussy Gillette. They may be "recent", but they bring with them a heady aspiration for longevity that might alienate the general public. The general public is not concerned with artists with guts, just artists with all-caps GUTS. Of course, I speak of America's prodigal girlchild, Olivia Rodrigo, who I cannot believe I am mentioning in the same breath as Pussy Gillette. But I have to.

I voluntarily keep up with Olivia's music as a checking tool since she's just one year older than me yet completely the opposite of me in numerous ways. Here's the thing: when I write songs and make music, I hope to make a—for lack of a better term—ack—safe space for young female artists who prefer not to listen to Taylor Swift. Olivia's music intends to make a hostile space for young female artists who prefer not to listen to Taylor Swift. You see the problem here? We are not very compatible. I will give her most recent video credit for not being a genreless slice of slap-in-the-face curd pie like some of her others—c'mon, it's kyuuuuute.

Olivia is twenty, a baby in the grand scheme of things. Not too long ago she was nineteen, my age. I can attest to the pain and suffering that comes with being a teenage girl, as well as the satisfaction that can come from squishing and pouring those swirling emotions into song (or prose). The truth is is that I am just not as social as Olivia—no wonder she uses the butterfly throughout her branding. I don't really have songs to write about regarding Tyler from history class. I have songs to write about mass media brainwashing's effect on the populace and that scene from The Wall where Bob Geldof is yelling at everyone (which is probably the most accurate depiction of the modern day large scale concert production, by the way). Maybe if that Tyler kid said something that really fascinated/infuriated/both of those things-me I would wring it like a towel and turn the warped, pulsating droplets into a song. But my brain is too skewered and too focused on my studies to do the whole "normal teenage girl" thing that much.

Or maybe that's just the "commercially palatable" thing. Olivia's GUTS are that she is smooth, like intestines in a well-oiled Cuckoo's Nest Combine machine. Our friends Pussy Gillette, however, are rough, jagged, and edgy in a way that is all their own. And boy, do they own it. Yet they are not willy nilly—they share the same focus, awareness, and intelligence that societally powerful artists have, though PG choose cute shock value over cute exploitation of the vulnerable masses. In this I actually see a chance of engagement with a wider, captive audience—they embody defiance and self-assured-ness in a world that needs it. "Permanent Trash" is an ode to self empowerment and self pride. These traits are of great yet controversial interest and analysis to our society. Because of the internet, the self esteem of humanity sits in a perilous state in an age of simultaneous constant comparison to and instant disappointment in other people. We are forced to ask ourselves what traits we can find pride in without alienating others, springing gray hairs like poison darts as we ruminate on how we could be "better".

Never mind that the people pitting us against each other in this manner are so comfortable in their positions of corrupt power that they never even consider these concerns. They know they are bad, and they know they have their fingers on society's pulse. The "influencers" we worship and revile in unison, the milquetoast kings and queens of the schoolyard, guide us towards superficial quests for brownie points that only serve to obscure that they are the real enemy. In a desperate bid for commercial acceptance, humanity cries out, "what part of me is palatable?" Pussy Gillette offer the answer: the whole she-bang, baby. Live with yourself. Live.

But, of course, by the time you're on the "G" in their name when typing it into the YouTube search bar, the suggested results snap away out of fear of Pussy Gallavanting, Pussy Galloping, Pussy Grumbling, or any sort of adorable videos of tiny felines doing cute things, therefore obstructing the culture of cat videos that has been the foundation of the internet since its earliest days.

But all of the best recent bands—PG, cumgirl8, Round Eye, as I was writing this Spotify recommended me a band called DICKFARTBUTTSEX—have eyebrow raising names. I say we usher in a new culture of degeneracy and dignity with the music we listen to. You can't truly spill guts without a little seppuku.

P.S.: A side note: this new wave of porn bots is too good. "ReformedBlasphemy" should be MY username.

#blog #rants #music #degeneracy #society #crowd control #suppression #pride #Pussy Gillette #pop music #popular music #reviews #music videos #long post

[satancopilotsmytardis]

🌈☯️

I need you to know what a profound impact your fics have had on my life. They helped pull me out of a troubling mindset and were the driving force behind me picking up writing again and genuinely makes me feel understood and acknowledged dispite have nothing to do with me, I'm not fighting a war I have only a third of a chance at winning against superpowered child soldiers. But the the scale you bring your stories down to the focus on the internal aspects, the self understanding (and lack of sometimes) present in every situation and the way the characters relationships effect each other... Ugh your fics are both killing me and giving me new life. So thank you.

Oh man, wow. I really don't know what to say, I'm so glad that you're getting so much out of my silly little stories. I'm also so happy to hear that you've started working on your own! I personally think that the act of creating something (anything) is such a great way to examine the self and one's relationship with the rest of the world, I hope that doing so can keep helping you the way it seems like it already has! Thank you so, so much for always having a kind word for my stories, it always encourages me to keep creating more!

🌈 Is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

Ha ha, you all know by now that I am really actively still struggling with Shattered and have been for a few months now. I think I've determined that I just absolutely fucking hate writing in chaptered segments. Something about breaking things into chapters ruins my brain and flow of writing because I also struggled constantly with Playing Favorites and that's a multi-chap too.

☯️ how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

Oof, fucking coming for my kneecaps with a serious question that I don't have a strong answer for. I'm going to be honest, I haven't been active in fandom spaces for many years because while interacting in fandom spaces can be really encouraging and create a wonderful community, it can be really toxic too, which I don't think is a controversial take. I don't think I have room to talk on this subject because I am a person who isn't social and who experiences social anxiety. I'm very sensitive and just a bad experience or two is enough to poison an entire thing that I liked and make me give up on it, so I really avoid going into bigger and more generalized fandom spaces. I live by the rule of creating my one little tiny corner and then making everything in it work for me, and if other people see it and like it then they can come and hang out and we can all have a nice chill time, but if I see something I don't like, then I'm very liberal with my block button and policing my own internet experience. This blog is the little corner I've made recently! So far everyone who has joined me here as been so sweet, kind, and encouraging and that has been so good! It makes me want to make even more things and then I get so excited because the things I've made have apparently inspired other people to make their own things too! That feedback loop of inspiration and encouragement is definitely the best and most healthy thing that can come out of fandom experiences to me!

#tanco speaks #writer asks #asks #ask

[scary-senpai]

So, my friend John—who, despite being my muse & all-around second brain when it comes to writing OPM fic and meta stuff—has been anime only until recently. A few weeks ago, he decided to binge read the whole thing in three days (mostly so he could support me in my hyper-fixation projects).

John started roughly around the time when the “Dr. Saitama” scene was retconned, so he was coming to me with a lot of questions/observations when I was reeling with a lot of Feels. 

We’ve pretty much agreed to disagree on Garou’s character, although of course my opinion is the best one. Because my love language is benign mischief, one of our conversations took the form of Benevolent & Consensual Trolling. He started teasing me, and I couldn’t resist teasing him back, Godfather-style. >:)

At this point, John is up to the martial arts tournament so he still hadn’t reached any new material yet. But here on Team Manga + WC, we’re reeling with emotional whiplash and questioning everything we thought we knew about where the story was going.

Friend: oh my God, Garou is the absolute worst.

Me: We have known each other for many years, but this is the first time you’ve come to me about the manga for counsel or insight. I can’t remember you even mentioning the manga, even though you’ve had my Shonen Jump password for months. But let’s be frank here. You never wanted my opinion. And you feared to be spoiled.

Friend: he’s dumb and his point is dumb.

Me: I understand. You found paradise in the anime, you had a good laugh, you saw some good fight scenes. There were sales and the risk of leukemia was low-to-moderate.

Friend: …I… wait, what? Leukemia? Where did that suddenly come from?

Me: There was no radiation poisoning, and you didn’t need a friend like me. But now you come and you say “Ca-Chan Garou, why are you like this?” But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer me friendship. You don’t even think to read my blog posts. You come into my house on the day my blorbo’s character arc is to be retconned and you ask me to explain Garou’s character—without giving away spoilers!

Friend: His actions are erratic and confusing.

Me: That is not confusing, that is character development.

Friend: [[gives side-eye]]

Me: Look, you just have to keep reading the manga, okay? A lot of important stuff happens right after the shack scene, especially in terms of Garou’s character development.

Friend: I dunno... I’ve never read the manga for any of the shows I watch… I just worry it would spoil the anime.

Me: [[turns away in frustration]]

Friend: so… like… is Garou just crazy, or…?

Me: [[cold silence]]

Friend: I’ll take that as a yes, then. He’s just crazy.

Me: John-senpai, what have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you’d simply read the chapters I sent you, you’d be playing OPM-Bingo with us this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself misread a few manga panels, then your headcanons would become my headcanons. And then, we could be wrong together.

Friend: …you’re really gonna go out of your way to make this conversation weird, huh?

Me: I am incapable of making conversation that is un-weird.

Friend: Point.

Me: Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to record a podfic with me. But until that day, consider this a gift because oh my god I have so many feelings about where this story is going and you’re the only one who understands me—

Me: [[proceeds to DM 10+ blog posts about Garou’s character arc whilst carefully cropping out spoilers]]

Again, he’s benevolently trolling me with my consent because I trust him, and, you know, riffing off of each other to write silly things is just how our brains work best. I wouldn’t entertain the same thing from other people. If this were coming from, say, an internet stranger, I probably would have asked a rhetorical question (“Can I lovingly ask why you come to me with this, when I’ve explained multiple times that this is my favorite character?”) and politely ended the conversation from there.

#one punch man #opm #garou #my writing #texts from my senpai #i'm in such a weird mood you guys #john i know tumblr scares you but if you're reading this #you get to be saitama and i'll play genos <3

[jerek]

alright. bonus lore time. i literally never thought anyone was cringe if i ever had a problem w u it was ALWAYS about wrathion.

since fall 2021 ive developed a new talent which is my cortisol randomly spiking and making my stomach too acidic which can and has made me vomit 10 times in a day and put me in ER-level pain and i think it has something to do with the lil polycule of rpers i was with back then.

roster was, iirc (at the time)

26 y/o male / nb

38 y/o female

mid 20s male

mid 20s nb

early 20s female

19 y/o me

18 year old nb

26 year old was the one who made the discord, roleplayed anduin, the rest of us were literally self shippers with ocs. (except me i played sylvanas)

was a SHIT ton of wranduin in there!!! i'm not evil though so i put up with it. i asked once can they please stop putting wrathion porn in there, they were like "thats cool bro i respect your triggers" and put it in a different channel still accessible for the girlies who love to trigger themselves.

so like. heres where the mysterious food poisoning came in. when i say 'dissociative' i may not mean DID as diagnosed by a trained professional after 15-20 tests but like. i couldnt even express to a therapist how shit i felt bc i was not consistently the same type of person between appointments. if you make me come in every week, next week i will not remember why i felt the way i felt last week. i'll vaguely remember what i said, but she's not me anymore lol.

and sometimes it's THAT, the true saint norman experience, sometimes it's possession (thinking other people's thoughts) and sometimes it's dreaming but girl SOMETIMES it manifests as like.

Imagine going up to norman bates and telling him he cares too much about his sick, declining, codependent mom.

Me but when you smack Wrathion I feel it. He's a metaphor for me. I think in his voice. I damn near pray to him ig, being a mormon I can tell you he is the only reason ive ever felt 'the spirit.'

Cringe? Yes!!!!! Out of my control? Yeah 😭

There is no center to my being. i dont identify as anything. i'm not the name my parents gave me, but i am the characters i use to puppet out whatever emotions. Internet sexting for so long has eaten away at my boundaries so much there is no longer any reason for her (who i was born as) to exist or for me to relate to her.

Rping in that group gave me so much dopamine I couldn't sleep, consistently had the feeling that my stomach muscles were splitting down the center, migraines. Literal food poisoning symptoms. It was really fun still!!!!!

And then when the wrathion shit happened like. Whispers of nzoth in the back of my brain started tickling my self defense instincts for no reason. No reason bc I had put up with literally everything including the wrathion shit, the only difference was I personally didn't enjoy wrathion porn.

I knew I was irrational. Not liking a certain type of porn is one thing, I was fighting off the old gods trying not to start some shit.

Prob shoulda communicated! Communicating last time gave me a trigger myself button though. Literally the [triggered] meme.

Eventually you get the feeling that shit is going down the drain whether you like it or not. The rp's stopped, everyone's switched to FF and your laptop can't run it. It's all just kinks, someone posting once or twice a day with "imagine li-li stormstout [redacted]" getting reacted with 😏 emojis.

So I posted screenshots bc I knew the other half of the world, the one with everyone else in it, would feel as alienated as I did. I'm back in 2015 as a 13 y/o dominatrix prude and I want the feeling of 'we know what's wrong' I got from the ER. Literally went to sleep 5 minutes later because I knew I'd be guillotined.

I wake up and I have no idea why I did that. It's been years since I tore off the chunk of me that will do literally anything to be included, those two halves don't communicate anymore.

But shit's fucked now!!

It was always about wrathion. Literally always about my shitass fixation on blizzard's favorite 7 year old to unbutton the shirt on. Girl why

#wrathion

[da-at-ass]

That's just how methane do

I haven't known how to start talking about the methane poisoning that I've been experiencing for, well, I don't know how long, and while my husband has also been experiencing methane poisoning, but I'd like to try talking about some of the things that have happened now.

I'm not going to get into the hows of how the methane leak happened, I'm just going to say it was located somewhere that it was hard to notice but also somewhere we were located often, and where we were often on the internet, so I've made some... interesting posts, and decisions, since about October 2019, which is when things felt like they reached the impossible-to-endure for me point psychologically. I thought it was all the stress at my job and the weirdness in some parts of my personal life, but now I think that the job stuff and the personal life stuff were actually being affected by the methane poisoning. It's like... really hard to tell when this began.

So the thing is, methane doesn't give me hallucinations where I see people who aren't there or something like that, but it sometimes can make me believe very intensely whatever idea I happen to have at the time if it has some convincing emotions behind it. It increases paranoia, brings on psychosis, warps perceptions of what's already going on into an unrecognizable version of reality.

What was really weird for me was that I was still DOING and MAKING stuff all this time, and some of the stuff was breakthrough-level. I've just been hardly able to talk coherently about it because of ALL THE METHANE IN MY BODY. I have a therapist and have been talking to them all this time--one thing I told my therapist was that the methane wasn't so much getting in the way as it was helping things in a very, very strange and not always intelligible way. I made connections I'd never made before. I discovered things that I wouldn't have otherwise discovered because I did some very illogical things to find the reference materials that I ended up procuring at this time.

What I'm saying is that methane is like, a weird performance drug. That you absolutely should not use. But I can almost understand why people are microdosing LSD and mushrooms right now. Ideas were plentiful on methane. SANITY and CALM and FOCUS were not. Social connections were very difficult because social situations became very hard to judge.

The last couple of months have felt like rebuilding my brain, brick by brick. I'm calmer, clearer than I've been in years, and that's something to relish. But I'm also looking back on a weird past full of very strange events, because nothing I was experiencing was without a weird facilitator with strange ideas: methane. The invisible, unsettling friend. The weird clown that no one should play with. It lurks in many houses worldwide, there to warm and light the residence, but capable of more... so much more. So much more than anyone should ever experience.

I've been through the looking glass. It's been weird. I took pictures. I drew art. I'll come back and talk about it from time to time.

[alwaysinlimbo]

Body Image

-----If you're not a fan of discussing body issues than i urge you not to proceed and I am sending you love-------

A journal prompt for tonight

How have the media and societal standards affected your body image?

Back in 12th grade, there was a girl in my writing class that was taking a survey: "Have you ever felt self-conscious due to social media?" I said no. I lied.

Social media has been one of my favorite things, but has also been the bane of my existence. On one hand, I see it as a scrap book for my life, where I can share things with my friends and pretend I'm pretty cool for a little while. I enjoy sharing. Sometimes oversharing. I take it that stems from childhood trauma too, as most things seem to.

As of right now, I currently have instagram and tik tok off my phone. for one, cause I am in my senior year of college studying STEM and need to focus on finals, but also because I found myself in the never ending loop of comparison again.

I often see people online, and even knowing full well that social media is completely fake, I still compare and compare and beat myself up over stupid things. It's a dumb thing really, looking at a place full of filters and perfectly chosen photos and thinking "wow I must be a real wreck huh." simply untrue.

I deal with chronic bloating, and because of this over the past year and a half, have become very self conscious in my day to day life. My most recurring thought is "what if someone thinks I'm pregnant???" I have spent so much time pondering why that's my first thought and why I am so scared of people's perception of me (something I cannot control might I add). I've come to realize that I find myself doing that at times, looking at another woman and having that thought. But then I thought to myself, where did I get that from??? Well, I've chalked it up to social media. How many times do you see a celebrity post a photo where maybe her tummy isn't perfectly flat, and suddenly, the comments are flooded with pregnancy skeptics.

It's terrible. If people would stop commenting on other peoples bodies I think the world would be an easier place to live in. But either way, whether you like it or not, seeing repeated comments like that, you end up being conditioned into having those thoughts yourself. I once read somewhere years ago that your first thought is what you've been conditioned to think, and it's really your second thought that matters.

Social media now has also been overtaken by trends upon micro-trends upon consumerism galore. A terrible cycle really. Every week it seems there's a new buzzword for a new micro-trend, and then Shein picks it up and adds loads of clothes under that buzzword, and then millions of trend followers run after and spend all their money on those clothes, only to follow the next micro-trend a week later.

I found myself falling into this cycle I wont lie. I will always say that I hate trends, I've never been someone that NEEDS to follow trends. If a trend happens to be something I like, then I'll be on board and if not, I'll just keep doing my thing. But the problem is that with the rise of tik tok came the rise of these aesthetics and names, and then these tik tokers who make these aesthetics their entire personalities. And when you see someone have millions of people love them for sticking to one aesthetic, you get stressed and start telling yourself that you have to stick to one aesthetic or you'll be a poser, or people will stop liking you.

It's simply not true, it's a poison that the internet has fed us, and I'm convinced they've done it as a way to make fast fashion companies richer, but that's a story for another day.

What I want to say now is that it's all complete bullshit (I hope I'm allowed to swear on here still, I haven't been on tumblr in ages so if not tumblr i'm sorry). We are human beings, and human beings are complex creatures with complex brains. We weren't built to only like one specific thing. We were made to be curious, and continue to expand ourselves and our interests. We are not an "aesthetic."

I have spent many wasted hours and days sitting and pondering my entire existence because I don't fit into a box. I'm cottage-core, but I'm also goth, but I'm also punk, but also I'm goblin-core, and I'm also 2000s twee, but I'm also a 70s rocker, but also an antique 20s girl, but don't forget that I'm 90s grunge, oh and trust me, I'm also midwestern Americana and southern gothic. Read that sentence over again if you couldn't figure out whats wrong with it. and again and again and again until you get it.

WE. ARE NOT. AN AESTHETIC.

You are allowed to dress however you want. There are no rules. These "rules" that seem to be unspoken but very loud, they're completely fake. Made up by mouths that could not process the information their eyes received correctly.

We are so complex, and that complexity creates such beauty. It's quite cliche but when you really think about it, it holds: If we were all exactly the same the world would be a horribly boring place.

I hope this gave some solace to anyone who stumbled across it. I know it certainly quieted my mind in the way I needed it to today. If you're hear, thank you for taking the time to listen to what I had to say, and I hope if you related, your days get easier and your heart feels less heavy. Much love <3

[builder-4-hire-new-home-packages]

https://www.empcontracting.ca & Erik M. Parti here I am working away trying to be nice on the internet and I have to be proud, although I am not perfect but today I am proud to know God, the most high God! He teaches me that number one he is way feakin better then me or the rest of you mankind so take a break this Christmas and thank God for your life by  maybe giving fair rent to someone who doesn't make that much money! Don't rip off peoples wages like in shit whole countries, and if you are in a shit whole!  Daaahhhhh ohh and Merry Christmas to all every where especially crap wholes with chaos and confusion - may you meet God from him manifesting love in your heart honesty and get rid of these God's that don't have any value like being able to make time and space and give free will to man! LIKE FREE WILL - CAN YOU IMAGINE SO MANY OF YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE FAIR RENT OR WAGES LET ALONE FREE WILL LOL MERRY CHRISTMAS! NO BOMBS BOMBS ARE NOT ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY AND certainly NOT SUSTAINABLE INTELLIGENT - DON'T USE BOMBS IF YOU HAVE A PRIMITIVE LEADER THAT HAS A NASAL CONGESTION SO BAD HIS BRAIN IS SHRUNK TO THE SIZE OF A BASEBALL AND IS REALLY JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO MOLD !  HE IN HIS RIGHT STATE  CERTAINLY DOESN'T WANT TO DESTROY GOOD LIVING BY RUINING THE ENVIRONMENT WE LIVE IN SO WHEN HE ACTS CRAZY AND SAYS, "LETS BLOW UP ISRAEL" OR "KILL HOMAS" REMEMBER HE IS STUPID BECAUSE OF HIS MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION AND SHOULD BE GIVEN SOME GOOD TEA AND A NICE DAY OR TWO OFF WORK AND STRESS AND MAYBE CHECK TO SEE IF THE PALACE SHOULD MAYBE GET RIPPED DOWN AND REPURPOSED AND TREATED WITH CHLORINE TO AVOID MOLD POISING! That is why I build homes using the Canadian Building Code because mold and little poisons that we think is nothing but a little dirt on the wall can actually cause wars and I truly believe is and are the reason for a lot of wars! Believe it or not mold poising is a from the toxic nature of mold eating, but it is really disintegrating material that it is embedded in thus the material has a chemical reaction and depending on the calculation of the chemical change and what specific molecule comes from the mold depends on how dangerous your living environment is!  So the next time you have war, or there is gun fire maybe slow down that think really why that is occurring! Maybe some idiot just got listened to who is having a mental health break down who is being poisoned by ultra toxic poisoning and no one knows he isn't really a monster he is just high on poison! Where we find behavioral problems we always can find a significant poisonous contaminant in the living environment! So fighters stop and remember God over some guy who can't shut up in a crowd and thinks he must live out every stupid thing he must say in a crowd - and look, maybe the loose mouthed idiot just needs some rest and have the Blue tooth turned off or the wifi signal close to his home removed!  Think about it! Cell phone is microwave radiation - and that is a poison to us we cook food in in Canada and the USA and any where else stupid enough to ruin the molecular quality of food!  Imagine what cell phones are doing to people in the dry desert!  Because of this scientific understanding I believe that people could actually be having a mental health break down in group numbers and not even know they aren't irritated at all at their neighbors they just need healthy good environment and living situations including good moist diet and fluids to replenish the bodies humidity level so that people can go to bed and sleep and all the heavy metals breathed in through out the day can flush - thus why we have people who don't sleep are often just dehydrated stress or not, mix that with wifi cell radiation in the home or church or synagogue and you find a lot of reasons why people can't act like primitive animals! Something is wrong, help them don't blow their heads off give them something to eat! Look at the thermos breaks in the home! Is there enough ventilation or to much moisture build up and a weird yellow film or dirt that seems to be sucked into the skin of paint or concrete of the walls? Many crazy people over the past of history who didn't do much for anyone or anything but get a whole bunch of people who couldn't just have the balls to say "Shut up" and "No" we aren't going to leave our family and endanger our self's to go take another from him and both get killed at a young age like a bunch of stupid f words!  I am serious this is no joke!  From sky scrapers to empty over priced office buildings in starving down town centers I see this all the time with a wholes!  We have people sick and they are having problems with ego and anger and they feel like shit and cause problems and that is why! Right here listed here in!  I encourage you! Instead of having another stupid cave man primitive war next time learn to say "shut up" "your sick int he head"  or "that palace is to big and full of mold and you are crazy" to the next psychopathic idea from some idiot to go massacre a bunch of kids or invade a country!  Just stupid! Any ways and even just when you or the wife and kids are fighting think of this lesson here in! Maybe you will be able to rekindle the relationship with that crazy old mother and law yet when you find out what really the problem is other then your cooking!  The Canadian Building Code is designed to take as much poison out of the home as possible while not including things like radon, mold or asbestos and have other problems from chemical changes coming over time from material break down such that comes from oxygenating metals or changing electrodes in steal when we have galvanization or pressure treated wood sitting against polyurethane that is bad to have in Iraq or United Arab Eremites because the temperature of those climatic areas is so high the polyurethane becomes a toxic waste and gives off poisonous gases that cause all kind of health problems but until you learn from a master like me, Master Erik Parti you won't know because this information just doesn't jump out and say "Your the boss now stupid you know everything" no it hides and you get sick or worse kids in the building construction atmosphere are effected or some idiot talking to someone with a gun that is to uninformed to know that that person could be in a significant health situation causing him to be considerable stupid and mentally unwell or have breathing and other issues!  for quality home packages call https://www.empcontracting.ca 

#just say no #how poisons made napoleon crazy #stallen #hitler #natzi #jew #hesbola #humanitarian assistance #civilized earth #make piece #not war #say no to war

[overcomeanxietycolorado]

When Alcohol Is NOT Stress Reliever

I woke up with a headache again this morning. Red wine. And not very much of it either.

I feel angry and frustrated. I tell myself, I’m never drinking again. I feel silly that I can’t just have an evening drinking a moderate amount of alcohol. Well, truthfully, I can and I do. But then I don’t sleep well. I feel awful in the morning and I swear off alcohol forever.

Until dinner time and I want wine with dinner. And on Friday, I want wine for Happy hour with my sister or my partner or my friends.

There are so many reason to drink wine.

For you it may be Vodka. Or beer. Or the ubiquitous Margarita. Name your poison, they say. Isn’t that interesting?

Eighty-Seven percent of adults drink alcohol at some point in their lives. When you look through your own filter, it may look like everyone else is handling it just fine. They don’t seem to worry about it. Everybody over does it sometimes. We have a dozen names for a hangover.

So I asked myself, why am I so unhappy in the morning? Why can’t I change this pattern if I want to. I must want to, because I keep wishing I would. Every morning.

I’m not alone in this. So many of my clients, mostly women, especially now in the covid pandemic, are suffering and worrying in this same way.

Some are even reporting scary numbers in their liver tests. Weight gain is the complaint for others. We work so hard to be healthy by exercising, eating well, avoiding unnecessary drugs. Alcohol is getting past our defenses like nothing else.

So what’s going on here? These smart, healthy, high functioning human beings share this common struggle.

Are we addicted to alcohol? Most of the women I’ve sat with do not think they’re addicted. But they admit they’re not quite in control either.

This keeps coming up in my counseling practice. And in my life. So I decided to do some research. It’s time to buy some books.

Reading books has been my go-to research habit for years. Now, of course, I search the internet. You too?

Strangely, you may not talk about your alcohol concerns with your friends and family. Do you worry they’ll judge you? If you say, I’m not drinking this week, they may hold you to it? Or try to talk you out of it? Then, if you fail, the shame will be uncomfortable.

Do you wonder if you’re one of the people who really does need to cut back on alcohol? Do you have health concerns? Do you wonder what you said or did last time you drank too much? Are you driving when you shouldn’t be? Is your partner asking you to cut back or telling you he/she is concerned about your drinking?

While I can’t offer a treatment program for alcohol addiction recovery, I do offer the support you need to walk your way toward a healthier relationship with alcohol. And if I think you need more help, I’ll steer you in that direction. What I won’t do is take away any of your power to make choices. You choose your path. I’ll give you the tools.

I did find a book, actually, and it helped me get a whole new perspective. Then I discovered that many of the skills I was already teaching my clients to help them overcome anxiety and depression were also useful in changing their response to alcohol. I’m making it my job to know more about alcohol and how it works.

Alcohol is an addictive substance for human beings. For all of us. But that doesn’t mean that everyone’s body and brain respond in exactly the same way. Maybe it time to figure out how it works for you.

Could alcohol be interfering with living a life you love? Call me today for an appointment and I’ll help you figure it out.

#communication #depression #feelings

[cimmerian-chaos]

Zeta: One thing that I haven't seen talked about much when it comes to the whole Harry Potter and JKR situation is those who may use it as part of helping to cope with trauma, who may be ignorant of the problematic nature of the series' themes.

Growing up, the series was very much a coping mechanism for us, there was a lot about the characters that was relatable, ect. And in being trans, when Rowling's true colors became apparent, it was a very painful expirience for us, to know her true opinion of us. It poisoned an important part of our childhood, and having to let go of it hurt and took time, especially when thinking about it also dug up a lot of memories of repressed trauma. And I want to emphasize here, we had direct motivation and an active desire to do this. But when it comes to your average cishet person even just existing around them in our experience can range anywhere from hostility to awkward confusion.

On the antisemitic themes in the book, to be quite honest that was something that flew under our radar a bit, until we happened across explicitly the information of "here are some examples of antisemitic tropes that are used in media" and then our brain instantly started making connections to a lot of different examples in quite a few bits of media. Which is unsurprising, especially when you consider that at least in my experience, this Christian-centric society very much glosses over other non-Christian religions, and in being an American, I'd wager that someone living practically anywhere else is more educated on the rest of the world. In schools you're told in a sort of offhand way that other religious holidays happen around Christmas time, and Jewish people are brought up when it's pertinent, but always as a sort of footnote, like "btw these people exist." I'm taking from my own expiriences here, but compared to how the US approached other religions, Jewish people and Judaism were a topic to be approached with a polite, but careful curiosity. Like idk waiting for an abused person or animal to open up to you, since the only thing that the average person really knows about from school is the Holocaust. Even making an attempt to educate yourself, reading about things in a factual way vs actually understanding their perspective are two completely different things, and imho getting information directly from a person is preferrable. But when you're told things like "Jewish people keep to themselves" in such a way that implies that they collectively want nothing to do with anyone else and you are in fact being intrusive, when you're given dirty looks and firm silence while simply popping into a store every once in awhile because it has a nice bakery, it breeds a sort of confused shame. Because you know that you're dealing with people who to say they have suffered a lot is a massive understatement, but it then begs questions of "am I really not wanted around? Is going to buy some pastries such a bad thing? Or is this all the result of social anxiety? How do I make things right, if no one will so much as say hello back?" It feels like another reminder of how atrocious people's education is here, but imho in a way that's not particularly constructive. We've onmy learned what we have due to surprise, surprise interacting with Jewish people, listening to their perspectives and stories. So we're only now aquiring knowledge that we've been looking for since middle school, but had never been able to get due to situations like the above.

While individual people being antisemitic was fairly easy to pick up on since those individuals tend to go all-out on the matter, we wouldn't have factually known an antisemitic media trope if it hit us in the face. Because as 90's (and maybe 2000's) kids all grew older and were exposed to different kinds of people with the rise of the internet there was also more exposure of and communication about harmful stereotypes that popular cartoons were saturated with. From what we've observed, it's similar to what happened with consumerism in that it wound up having the opposite effect, maybe because it was so perliferious as to be incomprehensible, or maybe like us as an autistic child all the rascist stuff flew over your head head just because you were taught to just be a decent person to everyone.

So while there's zero argument that Rowling is a person with some horrible views, and therefore that is reflected in her work, I think it might also be good to keep these sorts of things in mind when initially interacting with those who are unaware of these issues. Immediately shaming ignorant people for liking a thing isn't the answer, nor is simply yelling at them, "Your coping mechanism for dealing with your trauma is BAD!" and demanding that they just find something else. Coping mechanisms don't just work like that, and it comes across as trivializing their own expiriences. You could potentially be attempting to strip someone of an important coping mechanism that could create a ripple effect. Like let's say you have someone who loves to read, a love that was initially born out of Rowling's books. If you're too forceful with someone, you're going to to make things worse either relationship wise and drive someone into the opposite direction, or you're going to potentially shame someone to where they give up on something that they love as a whole, we've seen both happen.

So explain calmly, slowly. Give them time to digest. Allow them to come to their own conclusions. Pay attention to whether or not they're resistant to the idea of abandoning JKR, or Harry Potter, because while you can't separate the art from the artist, based on my own experience with coping with the reality of the situation their mind might try at first, because weighing a coping mechanism against compassion or "the greater good" can be hard emotionally bc feels are Like That. Think of it like growing pains.

If it becomes clear that they don't give a fuck, then that's another story, but I felt that even if these concepts aren't the most refined it's still would be good to bring up, because no one seems to be talking about anything like this. No one is immune to echo chambers, it's a lot easier for us to talk about all the ways in which the Queen Bee-got is bad, because we all have the same basic understanding, but communicating these things we see as fundamental facts due to our first hand and emotionally charged expiriences to other people who have next to no connection to the issue in a healthy way can sometimes require a finesse that the internet and social media seems to have obliterated.

#just be kind to people okay? #go off on those who actively deserve it bc they're well and truly being assholes #but can we not just rip into people who don't even have a basic understanding beyond her making a few transphobic tweets once? #there's a lot of posts on here that we might reblog because there's a good point or two #but then another where someone's just a bit too callous for our taste #zeta