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sackfoo · 1 year

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Okay, Lore dump time!

Well, since I've opened up the floodgates to the potential of fanfictions of my OCs, even if it's likely never going to happen, i suppose now is as good a time as any to give some minor lore dumps i really should have been revealing casually all this time, but whatever. I'll add to this if i think of more.

*First off, location. My OCs live in a town called Emerald Ville. It's a cozy little town with some small town vibes, though hasn't been a "small" town in years, but everyone still calls it a "small town" for some reason

*Second, the main lore. So, magic is real, there is a secret magic world and gods and stuff like that. The magic world existed long before our world did, Earth was created as an experiment to see what would happen if there was a world without magic, though for years various magical beings have been worming their way into our world, which is how many folktales and mythologies where started, though humans have gotten some minor details about the magic world wrong from time to time, but that is understandable given the cultural game of telephone that was being played by ancient civilizations. Today, the magic world wishes to peacefully integrate with ours and for magic to no longer be a secret, but the gods feel as though now isn't a good time (Humans kind of suck right now with accepting things they don't understand) so the magic world is waiting for the day we will finally accept them, and in the meantime many magical beings are living in our world in secret, using enchanted trinkets and potions and other things to take on false human forms and disguises.

*Due to this last point, many magic users in the human world hold secret magic classes so if any magical beings living in the human world wants to learn wizardry or witchcraft, or just learn about the world they came from, they can. for example, Professor Rose Arch, Alex's grandmother, who holds a secret after-school wizardry class disguised as an after-school club at Jewel Emerson Middle school in Emerald village (with permission of the principle of course, who is an elf himself) Most people become eligible to learn magic when they become teenagers, though there are some magic prodigies out there that get to start a bit early granted they can prove they’ll use what they learn responsibly.

*Over-all, magic is actually a lot easier to learn than most human media would think it is, provided you can do magic. It's not trivially easy, but in the magic world, it's simply treated as another subject in schools like Math or P.E. instead of needing to devote an entire year of your education to magic alone. Simply down a special magic elixir called "Ichor" and magic will course through your veins. Think of Ichor like magic fuel, in the magic worlds it’s everywhere and in fact, the main thing that makes our world NOT magic was the lack of any Ichor when our world was created. it's even the main ingredient in potions which is how potions even work in the first place. With the help of Ichor, even humans can learn magic, and sometimes do (plenty of humans actually know about the magic world due to friends and family who are magical beings themselves, but legal requirements for letting a human know about magic are for later...) According to some human myths, Ichor is poisonous to humans but this is widely accepted to be a lie by the gods so no humans would be running around casting fireballs at enemy armies, But humans, being non-magical in nature, still have to down a lot more Ichor than magical beings to perform magic.

*There is a pretty clear difference between Wizardry and Witchcraft, unlike most media would have you believe, where it’s just male and female. No, women can learn Wizardry and men can learn Witchcraft no different from one another. The difference is in the ways the magic looks and behaves. Wizardry aesthetically is all about elegant swirls and wood and stone and gold and copper, where Witchcraft is a lot more natural, as well as connected to demons (Though demons can also learn wizardry if they want to) with vines and roots and thorns and fungi and eyeballs and bat wings. Of course, this is on top of some forms of magic having spells that the other doesn’t, such as magic bubbles being unique to wizards, and magic thorns being witches only. Originally, Witchcraft was designed as the antithesis of Wizardry after some mage elders had a disagreement about what their magic should be used for, and the two were at war for many an eon, but today the two are seen as equals and magic students have the option to learn whichever they feel suits them best. Also, Mages are high-powered Wizards, often in positions of power or teachers, and Warlocks are the same but for Witches, just an FYI.

*Magic, while not sentient, is very smart, as the gods have kept the rules of magic updated over the thousands of eons to better fit the times. As a matter of fact, the magic world very progressive and welcoming of people from all walks of life, albeit with the occasional exception of some truly rotten individual, but the overwhelming majority of fantastical beings are very kind-hearted and accepting of everyone.

*Magic wands/staffs are not needed to perform magic, but they do make the process easier. Think of them like magical channeling rods. There are many ways to make a wand or staff, like magic gems, enchantments, or magic prayer, and your wand can be anything as long as it’s sufficiently wand-shaped. If you wanted a custom made wand or staff that fit your theme, you could absolutely do that. Wanna be a chef wizard? you can get a custom made enchanted wooden spoon or whisk. Mad scientist witch? how about a giant wrench staff, or maybe a wand shaped like a ray gun? Perhaps you’re a professional drummer but want to make sure you always have your wand handy in case of emergency? Easy, drumstick wand. Wands come in all shapes and sizes, as long as it’s long, thin, and at least vaguely wand-looking. You can still perform magic with your hands if you wanna show off, but wands make the process just that much easier.

*The biggest rule with magic in the human world is that the general public on Earth cannot find out about magic yet. As stated before, the gods feel like the humans aren’t quite ready yet to learn about the secret magic world. The gods would rather wait until they feel all parties are ready. After all, first impressions can be important. However, there are ways that a select few humans CAN be allowed to know about magic. Sometimes, humans accidentally witness something unmistakably magical, or a human and magic being may form a long-lasting bond and the magic being doesn’t want to have to keep that kind of secret from a loved one. As long as the human is trustworthy enough to not reveal magic to anyone else, the human can be allowed to know about the secret world, but this can require a lot of legal stuff and paperwork and other stuff i am not willing to get into. The judges that determine whether humans get to know about magic or not can be very strict, for reasons i will get into shortly, and if it’s determined that the human can’t be trusted, and they have already seen too much, their memory will be wiped, again, i’ll talk more about that shortly. But if the Human is allowed to keep their memories, then they can be allowed to enter the magic world whenever and even learn magic if they want.

*Sometimes, however, a human learns about magic and is deemed to NOT be trustworthy enough to keep it a secret. Depending on how much they saw, they could either have a memory haze spell cast on them that causes them to believe that everything they saw was a hallucination or dream of some sort, They might be a total fruit loop already and so no one will believe what they saw, or they could need to have their memory erased. A memory wipe spell in this context simply consists of removing all instances of magic witnessed by the human from their memory. A lot of the time, this works, and only the memory of them witnessing a witch casting spells in the woods will be erased, but on occasion, there can be dire side effects. Family members and friends can be completely wiped from a person's memory, they could forget who they are and where they live, and in extreme cases, their brian can shut down entirely leaving them a vegetable, or worse (Just to name a few) It doesn’t happen super often but it’s enough where most people would want to try and avoid the risk wherever possible, but if the human is deemed unfit to keep this secret, then they have no choice. And if a large chunk of the general public where to be provided undeniable proof of the existence of magic, it would be pretty difficult to find out how many people need to have their memory wiped, on top of how much higher the risk of the side effects happening are the more people you do it on. Luckily for the magic world, humans have a well documented tendency to look for more reasonable, logical, and mundane answers to what they can’t explain, so a lot of cases of magical being being sighted in the real world are often brushed off with much more logical, non-magic explanations. But the danger and risk of too many humans finding out about magic and needing to have their memory wiped is still a risk many magic-users don’t wish to take.

Alright, i think this post has gone on long enough, i’m sure i missed something and i wanna talk more about the various characters in Emerald Ville, but this post in starting to get LONG so, i think i’ll stop it here and if i think of more, i’ll reblog.

#lore #lore dump #fantasy world #urban fantasy #urban fantasy ocs #my ocs #magic lore #Emerald ville #fantasy lore #OC lore

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leemaht · 4 years

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endings and beginnings

crowley x aziraphale

so this is mostly based on the original storyline but i changed it at some point to fit it in the form of a fanfiction. i make the characters appear out of character so be warned.

warnings: i used some bad words.

english is not my first language so please excuse some grammatical mistakes and maybe some spelling and other minor stuff.

aziraphale and crowley were like day and night. like light and shadow. like heaven and hell. well they actually were in a way. aziraphale was an angel. sent from heaven to do good and only good, bring happyness to everyone he crossed ways with and to fulfill the great and ineffable plan. while crowley came from hell to bring earth and everything on it nothing but hate and misfortune. oddly enough that the both of them had developed a friendship. a strong and dependable one as well, the 6000 years they had spent together leaving its marks. living through good and bad times, seeing humanity destroy and rebuild itself and in any kind even helping with that had made them understand the situation and feelings of each other. they had analysed the personality of each others character often enough.

aziraphale only ever had good in mind. crowley knew the kind of soul he had since their first encounter in the garden, when he had given away his flaming sword to protect abandoned humans without hesitation while he only was abled to make sarcastic comments. and when he had covered crowley with his wings to protect him from the for him deathly rain. any other angel would have just left him not caring what it would do to him, only thinking of gabriel. archangel fucking gabriel. he without question would have left him and laughed at him. but not aziraphale.

crowley was a lost soul. he did his best being a demon even if others would just shake their heads at his actions and reconsider this as consequences of staying on earth for too long. and they did shake their heads as far as they could without breaking them off.

'all of them are too old fashioned.' he thought to himself when he told them he had messed with the telephone network and they had looked at him questioning. he didn't know if they wondered what bad that would do or if they even knew what telephones were. that was on the day of the beginning of the end. when they had brought the antichrist into the game planning to destroy life itself at its roots.

11 years later

the armageddon had started. both the angel and the demon had watched it happen. they were currently in crowley's bentley 'phoning' hell after aziraphale had shown the children some terrible magic tricks. strangely there had been no hell hound. if there was one it would have been impossible to miss. but no sign anywhere. aziraphale sat there looking at crowley who did the talking. after he was finished it fell like a veil that covered both their visions for too long.

'no dog'

'wrong boy'

'wrong boy' they said in agreement. aziraphale more in trance then anything else.

crowley looked over to aziraphale who was most definitely in shock. he could read it in his eyes and his mouth and his face in general. that and his disappointment. not disappointment in the situation but in himself. the utter belief of failure in himself was written all over his face. crowley had the same feelings inside him but kept them hidden knowing he had a reputation to keep. he knew he had failed his task. his pact with his one and only friend. the only person (or not) he had on this and any other world. seeing this person collapse from the inside right beside him broke his heart which he suspected to be inside him somewhere nevertheless. but he couldn't help him. damn he couldn't even help himself. crowley was not able to undo the last 11 years with a snap of his fingers but he certainly wished he could. he put a hand on aziraphale's shoulder patting him and half smiled awkwardly.

'we will find the right kid. we will just start over again you'll see everything is going to be alright-' he started but was interrupted by aziraphale apruptly.

'alright! alright? crowley you have no idea what you are talking about! we just wasted 11 years which should have been used to save the world!' he cried. 'we should have saved the world and stopped this from happening and what have we done? we dressed up and played nanny for this spoiled brat! what do you think crowley! we can't overdo the work of 11 goddamn years in one single day!' he had started shouting by then and slapped crowley's hand from his shoulder. crowley looked at him in shock he had never seen him that indignant before and he certainly hadn't planned to. it was a heart-crushing view seeing his façade crumble like that.

'zira. calm down.... please.' he tried to calm him down subdued.

'no crowley. it's too late. we messed up. you messed up.' and with this last words he teleported out of sight leaving a broken crowley behind. all his worst nightmares had come true.

next thing crowley knew was him and the children standing at the airbase on the one side and garbiel, beelzebub and !aziraphale! on the other. he had found adam. not for the sake of the world. not even for his own sake but for aziraphale who now looked at him in inner conflict.

he was relieved to see crowley and that he had found the antichrist on his own, felt guilty for his outburst and for which side he stood on now but he couldn't just go over to him now. he just could not.

gabriel was having one of his speeches while aziraphale stood behind him silently looking over to crowley apologetic who had noticed his stare.

after that everything escalated. beelzebub and gabriel fought against crowley and the children, which were taken down fast as well as beelzebub. aziraphale didn't dare to move. gabriel was the last one standing leaning over crowley spitting in his face.

'know your place you pitiful demon.' he sad with a triumphal look on his face. crowley was just scared. truly scared of what would happen next. of what the angel would do to him. but before he could even elaborate further he heard a loud sound followed by gabriel twisting his eyes and falling to his side. behind him stood aziraphale with a bat he had miracled himself. he looked at crowley with tears in his eyes and reached a hand down to him with he gratefully accepted. he could not help but laugh at how out of character that was for aziraphale.

'this is not over yet.' threatened gabriel as he got up and teleported away followed by beelzebub.

the children looked at both of them questioning.

'rest now. we will talk tomorrow.' aziraphale said sad smiling to what they nodded. so he ported them home as well.

crowley and aziraphale where the only ones left at the airbase.

'crowley... i am so sorry. so terribly sorry for what i said and what i did and what i not did. i should have been with you and stood by your side. what i did was unforgivable.' he said starting to cry again.

'i forgive you.' aziraphale looked at him in awe. 'isn't that what we do? we fight and than we forgive each other. that's what you did.'

aziraphale had no words. he cried even harder now but not out of sadness but in relief. crowley smiled at him softly as they made eyecontact. crowley's glasses had been destroyed in the fight.

no one knows who leaned in but one of them did. most definitely both of them did. they closed their eyes. first aziraphale, after him crowley and their lips met halfway both of them smiling in the soft but passionate kiss they shared. aziraphale had to stand on his tippy toes as crowley's hands wandered to his waist. they both melted into the kiss and crowley felt his heartbeat fasten even more as aziraphale tangled his hair in his tender fingers. the kiss lasted forever since neither of them had the need to breathe. as they finally parted, aziraphale's hands still in crowley's hair and crowley's hands still on aziraphale's waist and made eyecontact once again both of them realised what they had missed all the time and would never give away again.

#books #good omens #good omens fandom #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #crowley #aziraphale #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #read

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ohayohimawari · 5 years

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How do you think Kakashi dealt with learning how to use computers and the internet?

This is one of the best questions I could hope to receive, and of course, it would come from you. Thank you forever for asking this. Between you and I and everyone reading this, I’m so glad to have found a kindred spirit when it comes to headcanons, queries, and opinions about this character. This is yet another occasion where we find ourselves wondering the same thing about this dork because as it happens, I’ve actually written a fic about Kakashi interacting online haha! But I’ll get to that later, first things first.

While there are plenty of utility poles connected by multiple wires scattered around Konoha, I can’t think of an example in the original series where I see someone actively using modern technological devices. The Sandaime had his crystal ball in the first few episodes (what the heck was that anyway and where did it go?); the Leaf Village has electricity and running water, they use radios and television, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a character use even a landline telephone until Boruto. Then in the last opening theme of the Shippuden anime, we find the Rokudaime Hokage typing away on a laptop. Did that seem like a big jump to you? It seemed like a big jump to me. My job as a fanfiction writer is to pave over these potholes, and so, I like to think of Konoha as one of those out-of-reach places that suddenly found itself thrust into the established, exploding world of modern technology.

I’ve seen that meme that asks what Kakashi accomplished as Hokage, and besides blowing up the moon, I think he was the right man at the right time to begin Konoha’s modernization, complete with internet access.

Kakashi wouldn’t be suspicious of, or stubborn about using computers and the internet (for the most part, more on this later). I think he would see the benefits of using computers right from the get-go. He would be especially intrigued by the internet, as a ninja that understands the importance of information.

When it comes to learning how to use computers and the internet, I’m willing to bet that Kakashi is mostly self-taught. I would think that after one day of tentative typing with only his index fingers, he would make it a priority to familiarize himself with the keyboard layout, first. He was a fast learner before he acquired the sharingan, so I don’t think losing it would prevent him from quickly picking up on this skill. The next order of business would be learning basic computer functions. For this, he would definitely seek out a book to study from, and he would practice on his own. Not sure if this matters, but you know how I love the details-he wouldn’t have a computer for his home just yet. At this stage, this would be ‘work’ to the Rokudaime, so he keeps his laptop in his office. He would practice after hours, and definitely on the weekends, but at first, I think Kakashi prefers to be unplugged when he’s at home.

The first email account he’d set up would be for professional reasons too. Kakashi has never liked honorifics or titles, so I honestly think his first email address would be something like [email protected]. He would soon realize that he needed a personal email for private correspondence. Since I imagine he would use this address to keep in touch with old ANBU buddies staked out at Orochimaru’s pad, or former students while they’re on a journey of redemption, this (free) account might be t3amwork@leafmail.

It’s when Kakashi enters the www that things start to get away from him.

He’d definitely wait until he was alone in his office, but not for the reasons that most of the fans of this naughty ninja might think. Kakashi’s first internet search would be harmless and general, but what starts off as seemingly simple would quickly devolve into chaos as he clicks his way through hyperlinks that tempt him further and further from his original target. The Copy Nin is not immune to falling down the internet rabbit hole.

It would be after 1am, and he’d have 253 open tabs when he stops to wonder why he’s watching a video of a hamster eating a tiny burrito. I think Kakashi would be as surprised as the rest of us by the things he never knew he wanted to know as he saves and closes his way back out. Shikamaru would explain “cookies,” and show him how to delete his internet search history the following workday. It wouldn’t be long though before Kakashi gets a handle on this too, after experiencing the perils of exposure to too much information. He’d start employing the incognito feature when searching exactly what you’d expect him to search. He’d create a Hotmail account under the name of his favorite Icha-Icha character for the sole reason of signing up for free trials. He’d make good use of the WebMD site.

After Kakashi is more comfortable navigating the internet, he turns to it more often during his leisure time, and at home. I think he’d develop a healthy interest in gadgets. He’d totally get a smartphone, and he’d be smart enough to not give his number to many people. I imagine him investing in a tablet for the purpose of reading, which he winds up not using as much as he thought he would (he prefers the familiar feel of pages between his fingers). After that experience, he’d want to stay in the loop about tech toys without getting caught up in the craze surrounding them. Kakashi would watch and wait, carefully considering his options before upgrading his own devices.

What I think Kakashi would not embrace is social networking. Not that he doesn’t want to stay connected with friends and acquaintances, I just think he wouldn’t want to post about himself, haha. He’d be that Facebook friend that reacts but never comments. The rare posts you see from him would be photos of his ninken (never of himself), maybe some of his meals, and the automatically generated ones that announce he’s beaten a level on the games he plays.

I kinda, sorta touch upon this in the fic I mentioned at the beginning of my answer, so I’ll wrap this up with a link to it (if I can in the answer format-Tumblr keeps eating my ‘read more’ cuts so who knows what will happen). It’s about Shikamaru introducing Kakashi to instant messaging and Discord (and he stumbles upon a server that you and I are both familiar with, lol). Also, it’s the crackiest crack fic I’ve ever written. I hope you enjoy it!

Modern Mis(ter)communication

Rated: M

XOXO

#berry asks #kakashi #ohayohimawari answer

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steve0discusses · 5 years

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Yugioh S3 Ep 2: The VR Zone Has a Hell Ton of Trees

Alright guys I am regretting the hell out of this teriyaki ramen bowl I just ate, so it’s a better time than ever to go back into this VR arc. Now that the Big 5 have made their speech, all of them quite fat and one with a cane although he doesn’t even have a body anymore, they are ready to send everyone down a series of...plot-shaped holes.

Like they were JUST in some sort of tropic zone, to go back to here and then go somewhere else and so like--this is still VR I think? Like I’m assuming they went VR the moment they entered this room but it is quite vague at what point they were officially in VR. Was it when their vision went fwisssh and everyone split into RGB layers or was it that they got knocked out with gas quite a long time ago and were just unaware that it happened? Probably a bunch of these things.

With this announcement we find out that everyone--and I mean everyone--has to play cards now, although I’m pretty sure half of them have duel disks and the other’s are like...not equipped? I mean it’s VR, so hypothetically no one at all needs a duel disk anymore but you gotta sell toys, so no matter what, Yugi’s going to be lugging this heavy sharp thing on his wrist, even when he knows he will soon be shot down a wacky hole.

The title of last episode, ps was “VR Nightmare,” but like, it’s actually fairly pleasant, compared to the blimp hell we were dealing with just a few episodes back. I mean I guess people are actively trying to kill us here but when are they not?

The audacity of this show. Every state in the US has huge ass fake castles in it leftover from the Rockefeller era. Where else are our Moms supposed to drag us on Day Trips so we can get our history credit for Girl Scouts?

Americans are hella good at creating fake historical sites--all you need is a 50+ year old house and some turret work possibly made by a reasonably well known architect and it’s like “yeah that’s a good enough castle for me! Can we say it’s haunted, too? It’s hella haunted! Come to my castle B+B!”

(read more under the cut)

Tea landed in some concept art that kind of looks like the underside of a mushroom. I dunno how I’d classify this rock structure.

And then Kaiba landed in his worst nightmare which was being in a normal park with one single straight road but somehow still completely lost. At least Mokuba managed to fall into the same hole as his brother to ensure that Seto wouldn't be lost for like the rest of this arc. Which was actually kind of an unintentionally hilarious animation.

*rare shot of the Kaibas actually taking a break*

Man, this is the closest they’ve gotten to a real hug in kind of a while. Like when was the last time these bros hugged? Pegasus’ castle?

Meanwhile, Noah is admiring his work from this throne room and it would be a whole lot more intimidating if he wasn’t in calf-high black socks.

His outfit is like a white school uniform so what gives with the black socks? Like of all the things to complain about on Yugioh (especially since I see Yugi’s hair looking right at me in the next cap) those socks though. Those are pretty inappropriate with this outfit, Noah. Especially matched with this God Throne you’ve got going on. Did not see socks like that matched with a chair like this.

Meanwhile Yugi is all by himself but that doesn’t matter at all because he is 2 (3) people. This strategy to isolate everyone only really worked on Serenity and Joey, TBH, since Tea is also accompanied by slightlylessevil!Marik (who hasn’t really said anything since the VR started).

I knew Bakura would be out for a while, but I didn’t realize it meant everyone else wasn’t even going to once acknowledge it, it is baffling. I mean I get they’re super distracted right now but your friend is DEAD.

Honestly I would not mind if the big 5 succeeded and we had to see some old men try and work with Yugi’s hair and alt rock clothing, deal with Pharaoh sassing them from a brain labyrinth, go to Yugi’s school where people get savagely beat up like every other day, deal with Bakura and Marik trying to body snatch and other magic assholery during class breaks, and through all that watching the Big 5 attempt to take over the world with their megacorp that no longer sells guns but actually sells like...children’s entertainment supplies which include the dueling roombas from S1. How on Earth do they actually think that getting a body would help them at this point? They would be Yugi Muto and that is the last face anyone would ever take seriously.

Pharaoh pops up and is like “I guess we’re doing this right now? Really wish we weren’t doing this right now.”

Anyway, because they don’t physically exist in this digital world, neither do God Cards, or any other card in their deck. So, now they have to make new decks out of a pool. Very convenient for the writing team, bad news for Kaiba’s intense and vaguely romantic relationship with his Blue Eyes. Really glad we spent a full season talking about how much these cards meant to all these people, from the magicians, to Joey’s Red Eyes, and then that one card that was Mako Tsunami’s Dad or something--really glad we learned all of that to just completely erase it this arc.

I sounded sarcastic just now, I actually wasn’t for once, I am so glad to just purge my mind of all those card memories for a little while. Just allow myself to forget. Ah. My mind is already so much clearer. It feels so good. I am very much ok with this soft reset, I kinda needed it.

Since Yugi is supposed to choose a Deck Master from his set of cards for this particular type of duel monsters duel, he goes right for the dark magician--since that’s his MO, but for some reason Kuriboh chose himself? Like this greasy thing just hopped out of the card and played himself.

Anyway Kuriboh is now their new Pikachu and well...this show has done worse cute-character-that-does-literally-nothing-else type things to me, speaking of, lets see what Serenity is up to.

This is a digital hellscape, Serenity.

Serenity, you are going to die here.

Serenity.

So because I just realized just now in Season 3 that Duke’s necklace is a hot, over designed disaster (much like Duke himself) I figured I should like...see what this necklace is supposed to look like. So I typed into Google “duke devlin necklace” and guys, turns out there is a LOT of Yugioh jewelry--and I don’t mean like fanart (which there is also a lot), I mean like officially, a lot of people in this show wear a lot of jewelry and so it was sort of hard to find a good pic of a Duke Devlin specific necklace--especially since it feels like most people just go for the dice earring because that’s way easier.

But what’s interesting about the Duke Devlin necklace, at least from my quick search, is that when we bring it to the real world, it gets a little lost, like a game of telephone.

Cuz I assumed that was a clown on his necklace--and there’s quite a few clown necklaces, but I’m also seeing skulls, I’m seeing gothic crosses, I’m seeing spikes and knives instead of crosses. Bro thought it was a flower for some reason--I kinda blew his mind just now when I pointed out it was a clown. Some people think it’s made of silver, other people think it’s sort of painted? (I assumed the cross was entirely blinged out with rhinestones--my honest assumption) No one can actually agree. Especially since Duke apparently changed his necklace for the movie. I know that because it looks a lot like the Legend of Zelda emblem, and some people had the actual Legend of Zelda emblem mis-tagged as Duke Devlin. Which sucks a whole lot for their SEO, and sucked a whole lot for me in my search to find a real actual Duke Devlin necklace.

Like, feel free to attach a link to a reply -- is there an official physical Duke Devlin necklace that Yugioh inc sells? Like I just want to know--officially--what the hell I’m looking at.

Anyway, back to the show, much like everyone else, these two are hopelessly lost.

Kaiba seems to keep forgetting that his Dad is clearly behind all this and would obviously have his old tech but like...Kaiba forgets so much I can forgive him this.

So, faced with roads that lead no where, Tristan decides to do his tried and true method of solving all of his problems.

And at the other end of the VR zone Tea is getting kidnapped after...being kidnapped by Noah while she was already kidnapped by Marik. This is three levels of kidnap, yes?

OH SHOOT IS THAT A ONCE DOOR. DID SOMEONE DO WHAT I HOPE THEY DID? OH SHOOT.

I will read their fanfiction start to end I swear to you I will do it if it exists and I will report back to you who dates Captain Hook and who is related to Henry Mills.

OMG It didn’t exist.

You have got to be kidding me.

I am beside myself, this is the only property known to man that has not been turned into a OUAT fanfiction.

Incredible.

That or I’m just really bad at searching for fanfics since I haven’t actually read any since my LiveJournal days. Like, when you’re basically immune to shipping, as I am, you just really lose the desire to read about 90% of fanfiction.

Anyway, the closest we have to a OUAT Yugioh fanfiction, to my knowledge, is that cap I made just now right there. Your welcome, Once community.

This is absolutely made of load-bearing drywall. Why do none of the sets of windows line up with each other and how many stories is this? Like 2.5? And you can stand on the roof I guess because it has handrails? It’s super weird.

Anyway, I just made a OUAT joke and maybe it’s because I knew shortly after we were gonna get--that’s right--an orphanage flashback. OUAT was basically 6 seasons of effed up orphan flashbacks so I feel pretty well prepared. Like bro was worried how I’d handle this filler but y’all, I watched the Lily arc in OUAT. I can do anything.

*slaps hands together*

Totes ready for these boys to have been given up for adoption via a magical tree and a memory curse, only to find out their real parents are 3 years younger than them because of a time loop. Make it weird, Yugioh!

Anyway, as always, if you want a link to read these from the beginning in Chrono order and without any comments and all that jazz here’s a link

#Yugioh #photo recap #recap #S3 Ep2 #yugi muto #seto kaiba #big 5 #Noah #joey wheeler #tea gardner #duke devlin #tristan taylor #mokuba #Anyways I'm gonna go make cookies at 9 PM #because I have a headache and I feel like this will fix it somehow.

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edensgay · 6 years

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Shrek Hunt

Shrek Hunt: A Far Cry 5 Fanfiction

Relationship: There’s no real relationship here. Sharky and Jacob are in it.

Summary: Deputy accidentally starts the Shrekpocalpse.

Warnings: Cursing.

Word Count: 892

Author’s Note: Hey, anon I know this was a joke but I just want to ask if you’re fucking proud of yourself? Huh??? Is this what you wanted??? Are you fucking happy?

It starts off as a joke. For some reason Sharky has never seen Shrek so Rook spends two hours trying to describe the essence of Shrek to a man who has no concept of what Shrek is.

After that they find that there’s a lot of people in Hope County that haven’t seen Shrek and somehow it goes downhill from there. They make the mistake of saying ‘Shrek is love, Shrek is life’ and it fucking spirals. Somehow Shrek isn’t just a movie anymore, the green ogre almost seems to take on a life of its own.

Have you ever played the game telephone? The whole point of the game is to whisper something in someone’s ear and they have to repeat it to someone beside them and it keeps going until it reaches the last person. The last person says what they heard and usually by the end of the game your totally innocuous sentence turns into something completely twisted that for some reason now includes seven extra words.

That’s what happened with Shrek because in a small place like Hope County word travels fucking fast. The people of Hope County have an annual Bigfoot hunting event. So, it only makes sense that for some reason Shrek would be a similar point of interest.

That’s how local cryptid legends about Shrek start.

Rook told one person about Shrek, and now all of Hope County is hunting him and talking about ‘encounters.’

With. Shrek.

Rook doesn’t have the fucking heart to inform everyone that Shrek is a movie from 2001 about an ogre finding love in a princess -who has a curse that forces her to occasionally shapeshift into an ogre- only for her to be briefly taken away by a very short, very angry man before the two ogres marry and live happily ever after.

For some reason Shrek has given the people of Hope County a new life, and all Rook can do is roll with it. If thinking a big green ogre exists in their woods, living in a little hut close to the river makes the resistance happy then goddamn it they’re going to indulge.

Sharky only feeds them, he’s the only person besides Rook that knows it’s all a big fucking joke. He whispers stories to whoever will listen and has a reputation for going to popular Shrek hunting spots and rigging up ‘evidence.' Rook shouldn’t encourage it but they do.

Rook is being chased by a small pack of wolverines -which doesn’t even make sense because aren’t they supposed to be solitary?- and ends up climb a tree to avoid them.

They'd been encouraging the rumors before they ended up halfway up a pine tree. The Deputy had destroyed some nearby wolf beacons, smashing them with a baseball bat. Before leaving and heading back towards the Wolf Den they pulled some onion skins out of their pocket and left them surrounding the site in an attempt to make it look like they had displeased Shrek and were being punished.

Because that’s where their life is at right now.

The tree has a crude drawing of Shrek on it, which leads them to reconsider their entire life as they wait out the swarm of wolverines.

Rook worried that the wolverines were a punishment from God himself, a warning saying to stop spreading rumors about Shrek.

What if Joseph Seed was right? He saw a collapse in the future, a great apocalypse come to wipe out those undeserving. Rook had started what could only be described as a Shrekpocalypse.

How had they gone from being a Junior Deputy to somehow fighting a Cult? How had they managed to distract said Cult by starting up what was essentially a Cult itself? Sure, in the rest of the world Shrek had a bit of a cult following but it was a fucking joke.

Finally, the little buggers decide to leave and Rook wants to jump down immediately but instead worries that they’ll come charging back the second they leave the safety of the branches. So, they decide to give it few minutes before they shimmy their way down.

Then they hear voices and when they see who it is they know they’re not leaving anytime soon.

Jacob Seed leads a small pack of Chosen, one in particular pointing to the surrounding area giving him a rundown.

“There’s been reports of sightings of Shrek near here.” The Chosen says, proudly showing Jacob the small clearing.

There’s some bones in the clearing, most likely from a cougars last meal or maybe even Bigfoot, because right now Bigfoot existing is a hell of lot easier to process than the fact that Jacob Seed is leading a fucking hunt for Shrek.

What have they done?

The Chosen rig up something similar to their wolf beacons. Except instead of making cow noises it makes donkey noises. How did Donkey go from being a kickass sidekick to being bait? How had this strayed so far?

Instead of meat inside there’s onions, a giant fucking pile of onions because the situation isn’t already ridiculous enough.

Jacob just stands there, watching it all and nodding to himself. He grumbles something that almost sounds appreciative before turning and walking back to wherever he came from.

Rook cannot fucking wait to tell Sharky that Jacob fucking Seed is hunting Shrek.

#ARE YOU FUCKING PROUD OF YOURSELF ANON?#SHREK X FAR CRY CROSSOVER #THIS IS PEAK CRACK FIC #ITS A SHREK PROMPT......THANKS #THANKS I HATE IT!#FAR CRY 5 #FAR CRY JACOB #FC5 #JACOB SEED #J SEED #THE JUNIOR DEPUTY #THE DEPUTY #ROOK #SHARKY BOSHAW #JACOB SEED X DEPTUY #JACOB SEED FANFICTION #JACOB SEED FANFIC #JACOB SEED FIC

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garden-ghoul · 7 years

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two blogs part 4

“for best effect listen to the themes of the rohirrim while reading this. the rockin violin solos are all too short, eheu. I wonder what instruments the Rohirrim actually play, how amazing would it be if the soundtrack were entirely made of instruments specific to the people of whatever location they’re in?”

let’s take a soothing sleepy trip to scenic

HELM’S DEEP

... since I only ever listened to audiobooks of this I didn’t realize that it was the deep of Helm. Who’s Helm? I hope that Tolkien in his pseudo-Hugo-esque fashion will have some characters discuss the history and naming of Helm’s Deep. As our heroes ride northwest along the foot of the White Mountains, Gandalf asks Legolas what he can see at Isengard. The answer: something is veiling his sight with shadow. Also I’m kind of sad that we don’t get any elves with glasses because perfect sight is a racial trait... no wait what if a lot of elves need reading glasses because they’re farsighted. LEGOLAS WITH READING GLASSES. Galadriel needs them too but she doesn’t notice because she’s never tried to read anything since she’s a jock.

As the second day of their riding drew on, the heaviness in the air increased. In the afternoon the dark clouds began to overtake them: a sombre canopy with great billowing edges flecked with dazzling light. The sun went down, blood-red in a smoking haze.

I’m kind of weirdly gratified that Tolkien recognizes the atmospheric conditions that result in a red sunset. You can’t just go around declaring bloody sunsets willy-nilly! The sun looks red when scattered through particulates! I’m trying to remember right now which sizes of particulates, which I should know bc I had a job in quantum materials last summer, but I’m really in more of a mythic mindset at the moment. Oh well. The king’s party meets the party defending Rohan from the soldiers and hill-men of Isengard. They’re going to withdraw to Helm’s Deep... I don’t know exactly what Saruman wants? Is he just trying to wipe the Rohirrim out, or is he looking for some kind of resource they have?

Aha! It turns out Tolkien is going to go full Hugo and not even bother putting his exposition in dialogue form. Helm’s Deep is behind a coomb (a coomb!!) that lets into a gorge in the “crow-haunted cliffs” (yess). Gorge implies a river, right? And there’s also a fort there. I feel like a crow-haunted gorge is the perfect place for a fort. It’s named after HELM THE HAMMERHAND (YES!) and it’s also known as the Hornburg because canyon acoustic make warhorns echo imposingly (hell yes). And now as the king’s party (minus Gandalf, who has some kind of errand to run--maybe he’s going to bring Lorien elves to help out?) rides toward the Deep, they hear “the rumor of war behind them.” This is good dictionnnn I love “the rumor of war.” I love the concept of “rumor” as an indistinct sound that conveys imprecisely that war is coming, in the same way that a game of telephone conveys imprecisely the phrase “at dawn on the third day, look to the east.” I’m being weird. whatever. So much time has been spent in this chapter before they even get to Helm’s Deep (or maybe I’m blogging too much) BUT here we have another thing, which is that the rumor of war is mostly... singing. They know the orcs by their singing (hi Orcsong!) “They saw torches countless points of fiery light upon the black fields behind, scattered like red flowers.” What a pretty image. Just so y’all know, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna write orc fanfictions.

Gimli at least is pleased to come to Helm’s Dike.

'This is more to my liking,' said the dwarf, stamping on the stones. 'Ever my heart rises as we draw near the mountains. There is good rock here. This country has tough bones. I felt them in my feet as we came up from the dike. Give me a year and a hundred of my kin and I would make this a place that armies would break upon like water.'

'I do not doubt it,' said Legolas. 'But you are a dwarf, and dwarves are strange folk. I do not like this place, and I shall like it no more by the light of day. But you comfort me, Gimli, and I am glad to have you standing nigh with your stout legs and your hard axe. I wish there were more of your kin among us.’

That’s gay. ::) Also Gimli feeling out the material properties of the stone by stomping on it. He is also both sleepy and restless, a feeling I can relate to constantly. Then the orcs show up; there’s a neat bit of cinematography with a flash of lightning and the word “boiling.” You’ll have to imagine it. Aragorn and Eomer are standing next to each other yelling about their swords. I like this bit:

A shout went up from wall and tower: 'Andúril! Andúril goes to war. The Blade that was Broken shines again!'

because it’s really ambiguous whether it’s like, just Aragorn shouting this. Or he went around talking up his sword and now everyone’s really excited about it? Aragorn shut up about your sword for five minutes. Your worth is not determined by the pedigree of your blade. Anyway there’s a lot of fighting. Everyone is exhausted. Gimli is missing. Legolas is pretending he’s not worried; no, he just really wants to tell Gimli that he has now killed thirty-nine people. They’re having a creepy contest. Aren’t both their peoples supposed to be generally peaceable?? What is wrong with them? Theoden frets, feeling imprisoned and unhopeful about his men’s chances. No, he will ride out. And Aragorn son of Arathorn will ride with him!

At dawn Aragorn stands on the wall, while the Uruk-hai politely inform him, several times, that they are the fighting Uruk-hai and they have a lot of guys to kill him with. Hey, did you know they are the fighting Uruk-hai? Also all their dialogue seems to be attributed to multiple people at once, so one can only imagine them chorusing “We are the fighting Uruk-hai!” like schoolchildren.

Aragorn jumps down just as they blow up the part of the wall he was standing on, and goes to find Theoden so they can Ride Forth. As they do they realize a forest has appeared in the coomb. The enemy forces outside are so not prepared to face cavalry, they are so scared. AND Gandalf is back! AND! He brought Erkenbrand, a Rohir who they were making a really big deal of earlier but I didn’t bother to blog about it because he didn’t seem important.

All right that was way too much blogging for a chapter with so little content. Let’s get on our way on

THE ROAD TO ISENGARD

It turns out that “at dawn on the third day, look to the east” WAS the result of a hilarious game of telephone:

'Unlooked-for?' said Gandalf. 'I said that I would return and meet you here.'

'But you did not name the hour, nor foretell the manner of your coming.’

Lmao.

Oh, I also missed the fact that during the chapter break (while my brain was in the bathroom at the movie theater of life) the Rohirrim won the battle. Gandalf wants to take everyone to Isengard to beat up Saruman and call him mean names, which I wholly support. I also like that he devotes a good amount of text to the cleanup and burial after the battle. Legolas and Gimli banter some more about how much [trees/caves] make them uncomfortable and how they would love to live forever in [caves/trees]. Did Tolkien actually just have them become friends to be a Comic Cultural Understanding Duo. Gimli goes on for a good while about how beautiful the cave system of Helm’s Deep is. He is sooooo into these caves, it’s really endearing. The caves are full of gorgeous natural rock formations (sorry this is a big pull quote coming up, but it’s good and beautiful and gay so pls read it)--

'No, you do not understand,' said Gimli. 'No dwarf could be unmoved by such loveliness. None of Durin's race would mine those caves for stones or ore, not if diamonds and gold could be got there. Do you cut down groves of blossoming trees in the spring-time for firewood? We would tend these glades of flowering stone, not quarry them. With cautious skill, tap by tap - a small chip of rock and no more, perhaps, in a whole anxious day - so we could work, and as the years went by, we should open up new ways, and display far chambers that are still dark, glimpsed only as a void beyond fissures in the rock. And lights, Legolas! We should make lights, such lamps as once shone in Khazad-dûm; and when we wished we would drive away the night that has lain there since the hills were made; and when we desired rest, we would let the night return.'

'You move me, Gimli,' said Legolas. 'I have never heard you speak like this before. Almost you make me regret that I have not seen these caves. Come! Let us make this bargain-if we both return safe out of the perils that await us, we will journey for a while together. You shall visit Fangorn with me, and then I will come with you to see Helm's Deep.'

There’s some more stuff I count of little consequence, some ents, some bodies, a river that isn’t. They camp out for the night and a great blackness passes by them. This was actually a bunch of ents, I’m not sure how they failed to notice. Even on the blackest night, wouldn’t you be able to tell if trees were walking past you? Also the river suddenly comes back. Strange times, strange times. They get up and keep riding.

Suddenly a tall pillar loomed up before them. It was black; and set upon it was a great stone, carved and painted in the likeness of a long White Hand. Its finger pointed north. Not far now they knew that the gates of Isengard must stand.

This is such a good image.

The plain, too, was bored and delved. Shafts were driven deep into the ground; their upper ends were covered by low mounds and domes of stone, so that in the moonlight the Ring of Isengard looked like a graveyard of unquiet dead--for the ground trembled.

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IMAGE. Also you can tell Saruman is evil because he outlawed plants. Look, even evil people still need green stuff to live. I was thinking earlier today about the trauma of being forced to live in cities where (in addition to all the other reasons it is bad) there are not many green things. Tolkien uses “hating plants” as a signifier of evil and inhumanity, and like, I guess. But if you’re going to posit all these thinking peoples... actually you know humans have a need for green stuffs because of where they were made. Maybe orcs really do not like green stuffs, and it makes them uneasy, because they were made specifically for the purpose of destroying nice things. So their psyches were made to match. IDK what Saruman’s problem is. Tell me about maia psychology, Johnald.

...and within the circle of Isengard’s walls, a sea of boiling water, filled with flotsam and jetsam. Oh shoot that would have been a great transition, I think that’s the title of the next chapter. No matter, the point is it’s very confusing to Theoden and his men to look on the stronghold of Saruman utterly shattered, and see no-one who could have done it... except two very small people sitting on a ruined wall, picnicking and smoking.

'Welcome, my lords, to Isengard!' he said. 'We are the doorwardens. Meriadoc, son of Saradoc is my name; and my companion, who, alas! is overcome with weariness' - here he gave the other a dig with his foot - 'is Peregrin, son of Paladin, of the house of Took. Far in the North is our home.’

This cheeky lad. Bless you Meriadoc. Theoden introduces himself, and Merry for some reason starts infodumping about the history of pipeweed in the Shire. But now is not the time, says Gandalf!! We need to go see Treebeard >::(

'Farewell, my hobbits!’ said Théoden. ‘May we meet again in my house! There you shall sit beside me and tell me all that your hearts desire: the deeds of your grandsires, as far as you can reckon them; and we will speak also of Tobold the Old and his herb-lore. Farewell!'

The hobbits bowed low. 'So that is the King of Rohan!' said Pippin in an undertone. 'A fine old fellow. Very polite.'

#blog of the rings #my new room looks out on the forest so green-white light is coming in #I think there should be more intimidating horn blowing in forth eorlingas #the song I mean #and more rockin violin solos!!

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