#like at jokes even

[volinare]

maybe YOUR crazy. my favorite color is green though so im like, about as normal as they get

Fact Checkers Or Whatever the Format Of This Is: this poster has DID, the multiple parts that share their brain have many favorite colors. The alter who posted this favorite color is Orange. 'Orange' is also the official answer for the system. I like green tho.

#and i like RED!!!!! hahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahag #nothing trully makes me laugh anymore #i have no idea how to make a joke or be funny on the internet #i just post things in a haze that make me feel the slightest bit of joy while staring at my phone with a splitting grin #thats a lie i totally laugh sometimes #like at jokes even #sorry i got 'diagnosed' or something recently #i literally already knew i had it but like #what the fuck #and then on top of this im on the truman show so its like #well i got the confirmation im going to get diagnosed #but also it coukd totally be a lie #and im on the truman show so maybe this is all one big production #also may or may not have delusional disorder #so take that. people who think i dont have delusions #i may or may not have The Delusion Disorder #my therapist brought that one up and i brough up skitzotypal #because thats what ive always thought it was #but we didnt have time to talk about it #so its up in the air #i will admit i like delusional disorder A LOT better lol #fucking. good luck to future me though with that on your papers LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #okay i need to go breath or something im stuck in the tags and it is not helping

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

#woof #like self diagnosis is one thing #but saying someone is autistic because they talk about a specific hobby a lot is weird (and waters down the actual definition of autism) #and its no different than saying someone has ocd bc they organize their books alpabetically #or saying someone has ADHD because they got distracted by something #and people who aren't even autistic are honestly getting way too comfortable with autism jokes

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[calamitys-child]

Adhd will have you too burnt out to eat or shower but give you the hubris to decide you can homebrew an entire d&d system on the back of a receipt

#it has to be dnd for the joke to work as well even though its like my least favourite rpg system of ones ive played

[shirkers2018dirsanditan]

all that bimbo girl dinner girl math “i’m too pretty to understand the economy” passenger princess shit is not subversive. it does not make men mad. it is not reclamation. the joke is on you. they are laughing at you, not with you, and the tradition of women who play to men’s most heinous views of women in order to get a bag is long and established. these women are apart of that legacy no matter what idiotic, hyperonline choice feminism spin they try to give it. it is never and never will be progressive to treat women as though we are naturally incompetent and incapable

#even if it was ‘just a joke’ why are ALL your jokes like this #when people do this racially they get rightly branded as uncle toms

[joycrispy]

Zepotha will never be Goncharov because when it comes down to it, tumblr culture is collaborative, while tiktok culture is merely iterative, and those are not the same thing.

#also because tumblr has a very specific way that it interacts with the media it loves #like make no mistake; when we made Goncharov we were a little bit making fun of ourselves #and the way we project high emotion and significance onto even the smallest details #(also the way we want everything to be gay) #tiktok isn’t doing that. they think the joke is the fake movie itself. but the fake movie isn't really the point. #the point is the fake FANDOM #goncharov

[filmloversociety]

In Barbie (2023), directed by Greta Gerwig, Ken says he wants to spend the night with Barbie because they're boyfriend and girlfriend and when she asks him "to do what?", he replies "I'm actually not sure". This is a perfect analogy to kids playing with Barbie dolls, as they know that couples "do things" but are too young to know exactly what. In this essay I will

#LISTEN #genius writing in here im not even joking #this is the film to end all filmbros #finally a movie that feels like ya know like a movie #Barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #greta gerwig

[franeridart]

more dragon

#my sketches #one piece #monkey d luffy #monkey d dragon #monkey d garp #real talk and jokes aside i think dragons childhood with garp wasn’t all that bad #since he actually was a marine at some point right so he must have at the very least respected garp #garps way of raising a kid that actually wanted to be a marine must have been somewhat different too #all in all i think leaving luffy to garp wouldn’t sound like such a weird thought to dragon ?? #i get why hed go there i mean #garp tho…………….. #what was that man even thinking………………….

[aropride]

REBLOG if you think they FUCKED RAW !!!!!

#text #sui joke #sry 2 the innocent bystanders (random ppl clicking tbe post to see the original) #im not even really a frerardie but one guy in my notes got mad abt it so i was like WELL I AM WHEN ITS FUNNY ! #so srry abt this post U understand

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[captainjonnitkessler]

Do you guys notice how when Shawn Fain, president of the United Auto Workers union, started planning a general strike, he did it by a) targeting his messaging towards unions with the ability to safely and effectively strike in large numbers, b) laid out a clear, actionable plan for those unions to follow (setting contracts to all expire at the same time, since many unions cannot strike while under contract), c) is using union contracts to set clear, actionable demands that can be met in order to gauge success and provide an end goal, and d) started organizing FOUR YEARS before the proposed strike date to give people the chance to plan accordingly, because it takes a really freaking long time to get tens of millions of people organized?

You notice how he didn't do it by slapping a message on Twitter saying 'hey nobody go to work on Monday, that'll really show 'em'?

#those 'monday is a general strike stay home if you can!!!' posts are SO performative and they really annoy me #like. you MUST know you can't organize a general strike of tens of millions of people by sharing an infographic on twitter. Right? #don't even get me started on the most recent one that was like 'we understand the last strike only gave one day of notice' #'so this time we're giving you two! strike is on tuesday everyone don't forget!' #like GENUINELY was that supposed to be a joke #the linked article also touches on how difficult actual organizing a workplace is which is nice #because they mention previous failed attempts in which organizers basically just handed out leaflets #and assumed the benefits would be obvious. which i think is basically the equivalent of posting an infographic on twitter #which is to say - not effective at all. Organizing is a LOT of work! Running an effective union even more so! #labor rights

[cryptotheism]

"Surely Californians aren't that weird about Yoga."

One time my mom quit on the first day of a yoga class because the instructor told everyone to "connect your essence to the native American ghosts"

#This isn't even a joke this happened like last month

[the-midnight-sugar1]

I don’t think he hears genuine laughter very often

#I love the idea that pomni laughs at one of his jokes #like a really stupid pun #and he wasn’t expecting her to laugh cause no one does #not even kaufmo could get laughs and HES A CLOWN #And he’s just mesmerized #when was the last time he heard someone laugh? like REALLY laugh? #idk but I think he’d want to hear her laugh again #tadc showtime #showtime ship #caine x pomni #showtime tadc #pomni x caine

[daughter-of-sapph0]

who had "jkr goes full nazi" on their 2024 bingo cards?

#dostxt #I feel like trans people and Jewish people have been saying she's a disgusting vile piece of shit for years #and now she's straight up posting holocaust denial shit on twitter #if you still buy her stuff at this point then I genuinely hope you kill yourself #I'm not even joking

[copingchaos]

The IDF is counting on people to not have any critical thinking skills at this point

#like what a joke #they cant even do basic research #it doesnt take much to figure out how an mri works #cant make this shit up #current events #idf #israel #jerusalem #gaza #palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #news #trending #twitter #viral #text post