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oneatlatime · 10 months

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The Siege of the North Part 2

Last episode of the season! I'll post some season round up stuff over the next few days.

The last episode ended super abruptly, so a refresher: -Aang and Zuko are in a snowstorm and Aang is currently hypnotised by a Yin Yang fish -Katara, Sokka and Yue are in the spirit oasis moping about losing Aang to Zuko -There’s a big fuck off Fire Nation Armada parked out front -All current trends point to the Northern Water Tribe being a finely ground and toasted paste by the end of the day

Episode Time!

I don’t know, did Katara really do everything she could? She could have called for backup. Although given Zuko’s track record with taking out scores of guards when the plot requires (hello Blue Spirit episode), I guess it probably wouldn’t have made a difference.

Ignore Momo for a minute and look at this grass texture. I can't decide if I like it or not. It's certainly doing... something?

Is this the spirit world? I'm loving the colour pallette. Since Aang's dreams tend to be sepia-toned, does that mean he dreams in the spirit world?

This monkey guy has so much personality. I love how our first look at this sacred, spiritual, mystical place is an antisocial jerk. Lovely subversion of expectations.

Roku has unparallelled jumpscare abilities.

I have to say the sound design on the ice cracking under Zuko's feet is spot on. That oddly hollow yet muffled thud is exactly the noise ice sheets make when they go.

Poor Aang getting dragged like a kitten. He's got to have frozen skin by now. Should have taken Iroh's advice and covered his ears.

I don't think Aang moves once during Roku's speech about the spirits crossing over. I think he's a freeze frame of animation, something which this show usually avoids.

Judging by the musical sting it's supposed to be a serious line, but the way Roku feels the need to clarify that the Face Stealer will steal your face got a laugh out of me. Was anyone expecting him to do anything else?

"They call him Coe, the Face Stealer. Be careful, or he will validate your parking."

Where did he get fuel to burn? And why does he feel the need to monologue? And if struggling and fighting is what made you into who you are, maybe you should give being lucky a chance, because you're not exactly well-liked or very good at what you're supposed to be doing.

Inclusivity win! These non-benders get to torch the water tribe too!

Ballistic water canon portholes - that's neat.

Those long range grappling hooks are probably the fire nation's most effective weapon.

Please die please die please die please die please die please die

How rotten do you have to be inside, that when you find a giant underground hidden library, you use it to find out ways to wipe out civilisations? And celestial bodies? Zhao is honestly so pathetic. Ruthless, and somewhat effective sure, but you're gifted a giant underground secret library and all you can think to do with it is use it to kill people? Pathetic.

This spirit world stuff is so neat. The scale, the lighting, the animals, everything is slightly off in a way that feels deeply alien. I like.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

The squealing strings in the spirit world are fantastic. The composition of this shot, also fantastic. The colour pallette; fantastic. I would love to live in the spirit world if I wasn't in danger of losing my face.

The face stealer recognising the avatar is chilling. Really adds a sense of the ancient. And whoever is voicing him had the time of their life. Deliciously evil moustache twirling stuff, but still with an underlying very real threat.

I love Sokka's logic here. Co-opt enemy's strength; make it serve you. Zuko being persistent means that there will still be an avatar to save once Sokka catches up to them.

This whole encounter with the face stealer is a cut above. They really pulled the stops out for this finale.

I don't think this is the Blue Spirit, but it's close.

I KNEW those fish were thematically relevant. What a completely unexpected reversal too! Those spirits you're asking for help? Actually, they're asking you.

It pays to be nice! This is why Aang has to stay such a nice boy! See? It pays off!!!

Looks like someone was a little slow with the whole 'conquering the enemy before their main source of power turbo charges them' thing. We've got floor is lava: tank edition, ice machine guns, and Poophead turning a whole row of soldiers into popsicles. Good stuff.

I absolutely hate Poophead but I have to admit it's satisfying watching him go 1 v dozens in tornado mode and kick fire nation butt.

That panda has some powerful breath. And I love that morphing effect between big cuddly guy and horrors beyond description.

"Oh No! Where's my body?" That's pretty funny. I don't think it's supposed to be, but it is.

Forget about the panda, Aang has powerful breath. He just wallpapered Zuko to the cave wall and travelled like 100 feet in the opposite direction.

Keep inching along buddy.

"That won't be enough to escape" "Appa!" "That probably is."

Forget about Aang wallpapering Zuko, Katara just turned him into a floor mat from 40 feet up. How many concussions has Zuko had in the last week?

If that rope is so quality, why did you cut through every loop rather than untie it and save it for later?

Of course Aang has to bring Zuko back. Aang is a nice little boy. That's what nice little boys do, and they get repaid for their kindness down the line with things like rides from giant pandas.

Imagine if Zhao had grabbed the wrong fish? It's a good thing that the moon spirit has a built in indicator light. What would the ocean do if it was in trouble? Get more blue?

Yue exposition. Yue is a moon horcrux. Oh this won't end well.

How long do you think Zhao spent composing his little speech? How many crumpled up parchments did he go through before he had the words just right? Do you think he practiced in the mirror while holding up a sock in place of the moon fish?

Get his ass Momo! I love how the guard in the back is like "nah, I'll let the lemur do his thing. Dude deserves it honestly."

Could we have some more specific examples of consequences beyond "balance" and "Chaos" for killing the moon? I don't think Zhao the asshole is going to pay attention to consequences unless they directly affect himself.

Zhao is way too fond of the word traitor. That's two people he's called traitor who are actually just people he personally dislikes.

You know you done goofed when kindly tea uncle promises to beat your ass. Zhao, meet consequences that directly affect you.

The face of a man realising he has, in fact, done goofed.

That's twice now these fish have yanked Aang around. Powerful fish. Did the fish call upon the Avatar or was Aang so angry that he went glowy and the fish took advantage?

FISHMAN

oh boy these guys are dead. So dead.

Tired of failing at capturing the Avatar, Zuko instead turns to trying to kill Zhao. Brightest idea he's had all season.

"Then at least, you could have lived!" Bold talk for someone who's already lost one duel to this guy and is currently losing the second. Unless you meant to flop backwards off that bridge?

Ooof. But she was always on borrowed time, wasn't she?

He just batted them away like balls on a pool table. So casually cutting through tonnes of steel and people. Fishman is killing thousands. I bet Aang's not too happy about that.

Ouch. More Sokka trauma!

Fish spirit dropping Aang off like he's bumming a ride to school, not killing probably 10 000 + people.

How am I supposed to take this seriously when Zuko's doing silly little summersaults?

Zhao is such a baby. I sincerely hope he's dead now too.

Bit of an abrupt tonal change. And yes, it's LONG past time you helped out the south. I hope Kanna is informed in exacting detail of her grandaughter's Pakku-bahsing exploits. She'd be so proud.

This scene should have come before the scene with Katara and Poophead. Would have avoided the tone switch. Also is that a tree to the right?

"So proud. And sad." OUCH.

Not-fun fact: there are four humans in this screenshot.

I'm guessing that was the firelord? I suddenly see where Zuko gets his muppet voice.

Mark Hamill?!?!

Final Thoughts

Where is the line between self-sacrifice and suicide? Because I have to say, Yue was very determined to do her duty. I guess that's one way to get out of an arranged marriage.

So glad to not see her fiance again, because then I can pretend he drowned. I bet he and Zhao are having fun out asshole-ing each other at the bottom of the sea.

Sokka!!! Somebody needs to give him a hug and get him into the care of a trusted adult immediately because the last thing he needed was MORE duty-related trauma. I bet he views what happened as him failing in his duty to the northern chief. He pretty much says as much when Yue chooses to save the moon. Obviously, there was rationally no way out of that one, but since when are emotions and trauma rational?

Yue describes her saving the moon as her duty, but it was also her choice, and I bet that's the first free choice she's ever gotten to make. Sokka didn't prevent her; he let her choose to do her duty. He definitely had objections, which he voiced, but he let her go once she brought up duty. It's so awful that Yue's first time having her choice respected (dare I say, having her own agency respected) is when she chooses to die.

She is dead, right? Her body evaporated and she's in the moon now. On the moon? Is she the moon? Did she replace the old moon? Or did the moon let her have a few seconds as a ghost for closure before she went to the afterlife? I don't know the mechanics of this.

Poor Aang just killed thousands of people, even if he was fish-possessed at the time. Katara's about the only person who emerged from this episode ok. She got to one-shot Zuko.

Fish possession-induced mega-fishman is not a solution I could have ever predicted to the problem of a whole fleet that needs getting rid of. It totally fits, despite it being a strange idea to contemplate in isolation. Aang pulls (rather, the fish pulls) a move straight out of Pacific Rim and it works.

The spirit world was really capably done. Creepy yet alluring, seemingly detached and untouchable yet both in tune with the real world and vulnerable to the things that go on there. And how clever was it to have Aang go to the spirits for help, only to find out that the spirits need his help? I love that reversal. It really ups the stakes. In any other fantasy story an appeal to the council of higher beings of whatever would either result in help or a refusal. Imagine calling up your godly bosses with a problem only to have them beg you for help? It's kind of chilling. Both in how close things came to disaster, and in the fact that humans in the real world actually have the power to pose that much of a threat to the spirits. Again you see why it's important to have a bridge between the real and spirit worlds: because traffic either way poses a threat to both sides.

What is up with Zuko? He failed the whole season at capturing the avatar (a task at which he was outclassed by episode 3), and now he doesn't have the resources to even try. So he's no longer a villain (not the he was ever good at it), he's no longer even a threat. He's a concussed vulture's meal on a raft. Is he even going to be in the next season of the show? What role could he possibly fulfill? He'll be just... there.

I had tone problems with this episode. A couple of places where I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to laugh, I did. And there were a couple of pretty corny set up lines. Yue discussing how there was no hope gave me Helm's Deep flashbacks. I think maybe this episode should have been a little longer in order to make the tone switches more gradual. And I get that, as a kids' cartoon show, they have to end the season on a happy note, but was there anyone in the main or background cast that didn't have a reason to end this episode seriously bummed out? Momo maybe. Appa's empathetic enough to be sad that Aang is sad. Yes, the North is saved, but the princess is dead, there are presumably thousands of enemy corpses bobbing around beyond the wall, and who knows how many water tribe people got crushed by fireballs.

The last three episodes have really been one big story. Katara's part was really over by the opening scene of the siege of the north part 1, which is about where Aang's part began. The real through line that ties these three episodes together is Sokka and Yue. These last three episodes have been low key Sokka episodes (and Yue episodes by extension). I think it's a sign of good writing and engaging characters, that the season finale of a show named after its main character can put a huge amount of focus on someone who isn't the main character and still have it feel natural.

Turn Sokka into a girl and beat him down with the expectations women face in a patriarchal society, and you get Yue. They are each others' mirrors, which is partially why they connect (the other reasons being Sokka is a breath of fun fresh air and Yue is gorgeous and desperately lonely). While I would give an arm and a leg for a version of the show where Yue joins the Gaang and travels around the world with them, being exposed to opportunities for growth and adventure and becoming her own person rather than an extension of her tribe's will, I think it also makes sense that Sokka and Yue ultimately can't be together. I'm having trouble putting this into words, so bear with me, but I think because Yue and Sokka are mirrors, and largely mirrors of the more burdensome aspects of their lives (ie duty), then wouldn't them getting together limit them? Halt their growth as characters? Would they not drag each other down? Under the right circumstances (like peace) they could help each other grow, but in war time it's probably not a good idea to have two self-sacrificing members on your team.

I know Aang had some crazy stuff happen to him this episode (and last episode too), but so much of what happened to him literally happened TO him. He had no say in the matter. He got yanked around by spirits, fish, and Zuko. Which is why the Sokka x Yue storyline was more interesting to me. Poor Aang may have a hell of a time processing all that yanking around, but that's not in this episode. Sokka and Yue actively making choices are in this episode, and their storyline has had three episodes to develop, so the payoff feels more earned.

The soundtrack was great this episode, especially in the spirit world. Deliciously creepy stuff.

Visuals were gorgeous. I especially liked the beige palete of the spirit world and grey-blue palette during the mega fishman scenes. The creeping blue veins were a good way to express the scale of mega fishman's power without just colouring the whole frame bright blue.

Zhao honestly got exactly what he deserved. It must have been a fitting end for his character because it left me highly satisfied.

Yue deserved better, but if the chief is to be believed, predestination is both a thing and unavoidable in this world, so she got the only end she could ever have. I love characters with quiet strength, but I love them more when they don't have to die.

Overall a good episode! It had to wrap up so many storylines that it ended up going all over the place, with some necessarily expository dialogue that felt clunky. Poor Aang featured surprisingly little in his own show's finale, if you discount when he's fish-possessed. Sokka got his heart ripped out and stomped on, as did the chief. Pakku has hopefully set himself up for a hearty slap from Kanna. Zuko and Iroh survived, but that's about all that can be said of them at the moment. I feel like maybe Katara will be carrying the Gaang for the next few weeks.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #the siege of the north part 2 #avatar the last airbender

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give-grian-rights · 3 years

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HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot, that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

#long post #SERIOUSLY I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW LONG I WENT #spoilers #hermitcraft 8 #hermitcraft 8 spoilers #hc 8 #hc 8 spoilers #mcyt #mcytblr #hermitblr #hermitcraft #mika-posts

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pengychan · 7 years

Text

Te Rerenga Wairua - Ch. 1

Title: Te Rerenga Wairua Summary: Found by the gods drifting at sea, Maui always assumed he had been thrown in it to drown. When that assumption is challenged, there is only one way to find closure: speaking to his long-departed family. But it’s never a smooth sail to the Underworld, and he’ll need help from a friend - plus a token that fell in the claws of an old enemy long ago. Characters: Maui, Moana, Tamatoa Rating: K

Prologue and links to all chapters up so far here.

A/N: For the record, Pilifeai is a character who appears in this book as part of a series of tales - so, not mine. I just had fun imagining he'd crossed paths with Maui and Tamatoa. Also, @ysmirel came up with a character design for him based on the book's description, and you can see it here! Tamatoa getting his treasure stolen by other monsters is also something that happened in that novelization, and I decided to have it happening here as well. Because of reasons.

***

Tamatoa wasn’t supposed to get that far from the shore.

And at first it had looked like he wouldn’t need to, because the shipwreck was very close to an island; he could easily get there, spend a few hours collecting all that was left in it worth taking, and then go back to the surface as soon as he felt the need to breathe again. Easy.

Except that the ship had started losing cargo before it sank. Except there was a long line of shiny stuff that stretched in the sand towards the open ocean. Except he had followed it, picking up everything of value he saw on the way. Except that now he was much further away from the shore.

Except that he couldn’t tell where the shore was anymore, he needed to get to the surface to breathe and he couldn’t swim upwards.

All right, all right. Keep calm. It’s fine. I… saw that rock. That rock is totally familiar. I must have come this way, right? Right?

Wrong.

The need to breathe growing more urgent, Tamatoa clutched the trinkets tighter and tried not to panic. He closed his eyes, counted to ten, then opened them again.

And panicked.

“Hey! HEY! Anybody here? I NEED DIRECTIONS!”

Water caused his words to come up as a gurgling mess, and there was no answer: only a few fish swimming in the distance, and something that looked much like thick rope moving in the sand like… like… wait, was that a fishing line?

If they catch you they’ll pull you out of the shell, crack you open and eat you up.

That was not a possibility anymore, and it would never be again: Tamatoa had grown to be roughly the size of three humans by then, hardened his own shell enough to protect him from any of their weapons and had pincers powerful enough to cut a grown man’s spine in two if he needed to. Still, a fishing line still spelled bad news to him, and he immediately backtracked; too little, and too late. The fishing line was suddenly pulled upwards, and something hooked itself beneath Tamatoa’s carapace, pulling him up with it.

“No! HEY!”

His protests were useless, and all he could do was clutching the treasures he had collected as he was pulled upward at incredible speed, making him wonder for just a moment what kind of being could pull him up so easily through water, from so far below and so quickly.

Then he broke through the surface, and all he could focus on was breathing.

“... Huh. Didn’t see this coming.”

Still wheezing, Tamatoa blinked the water out of his eyes and looked ahead to see… a human. Bigger than most humans, but still smaller than himself, and yet he seemed to be the one who had pulled him up, the fishing line still in his hands. How was that possible? Tamatoa opened his mouth to ask as much, the human frowned and spoke again.

“You’re not a fish,” he said. Tamatoa found himself blinking a couple more times, too confused to even begin feeling insulted for being confused for a fish even for a moment.

“... Very observant,” he replied, gaze shifting on the fishing line. He could easily snap it with his pincers, come to think of it, but that would mean having to let go of his bounty, and… wait, his stuff! Was the human after the shipwreck’s treasures as well? Tamatoa scowled and clutched his prize tighter. “These are mine!” he snapped. If he thought he was going to just let him scoop them up…!

The human barely cast a glance at his shiny collection before shrugging it off. “Whatever,” he said, and pulled him on the boat. Tamatoa landed on the bottom of it with a yelp, causing the boat - larger than most, but not huge - to rock quite a bit. Aside from being thrice the size of a regular human, Tamatoa was also much heavier than any of them. How had that guy managed to lift him? And most of all, why had he?

“What are you doing?”

“You’re welcome.”

“What?”

The human shrugged and went to disengage his hook from beneath Tamatoa’s carapace. It was massive, entirely white and covered in intricate carvings. “For saving you.”

“I didn’t need saving!”

“The way you gasped when I pulled you out says otherwise,” he countered with a grin. “Spent too much time underwater, huh? Sounded like you were drowning.”

“I was not--”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” the human cut him off with a wave of his hand. “We all need help at some point. Well, except me, but still. Glad I could help you, uh… got a name?”

“Tamatoa,” was the cautious reply. The young of his kind were food to humans and, while he would be able to fend off any normal human, it was becoming more and more clear that this one was nowhere near normal.

“Great, cool name. I’m Maui, the shape shifter, demigod of wind and sea. Hero of Men. And crabs, it looks like,” he added, and held up his hand. “Please, please. Don’t clap your hands too hard. It disturbs the fish.”

“I have no hands,” Tamatoa pointed out, but he did approach, after leaving his bounty safe in a corner of the boat. Of course, he made sure to keep standing between it and that Maui. Just in case. “So, wait. A demigod?” he asked, taking a better look. He looked like a regular human, if a big one. There were some tattoos across his torso, and… wait, had one of them just moved?

“The best around!” Maui confirmed, throwing the huge hook back into the ocean. “Did you think a human would have been able to pull you up?”

Well, that was a fair point. Tamatoa settled down, eyestalks peering overboard. “And what are you doing here?”

“Fishing, what else?” Maui replied, and leaned against the side of the boat with the fishing line in his hand. “Off to catch the biggest fish ever caught, for a couple of villages that are having a bit of trouble finding decent food. That’s why I’m the Hero of men. And women. All. No worries, I’ll give you a lift ashore once I’ve caught the biggest fish ever. I’ve got to say you’re a long way from home.”

“Home?” Tamatoa repeated, frowning. How would he know where he lived? His confusion had to show, for Maui went on.

“I assume you’re from Lalotai. Aren’t you? I’ve never seen one of your kind outside that place,” he added, tilting his head on one side. “And even there, you’re pretty rare.”

Tamatoa had no memory of Lalotai, but he knew that was where he came from. It wasn’t a safe place for anybody to rear their young, Gran had explained, and Ma’s whole clutch of eggs had been eaten except for two - his own, and one that had never hatched. Shortly after that his mother and grandmother had left it with him still in his larval state, to find someplace safer to be. Both had planned to return once he was big enough to fend for himself, but neither had in the end due to, well. Dying. Bit of a shame, since Gran seemed so nostalgic of it, but ah well. At least she hadn’t gone to waste.

Tamatoa himself had never returned, and the fact he didn’t know the way may have something to do with it. He sort of liked were he was, anyway - but now Maui was making him curious.

“I’ve never been in Lalotai. Have you?”

“Oh, of course! Plenty of times.”

“What is it like?”

Maui shrugged, scratching his cheek. “That kinda depends on who you ask. Some of the folks in there make for a nice challenge. Big as wales - would gobble you down without even having to chew you, which would kinda make your shell useless. Tried to do the same for me, but I’m a tough one. There was this one time…”

***

Lalotai was not a very social place.

Rife with monsters as it was, interaction was scarce. When it did happen, it was usually over dinner - meaning that at least one of the parties involved would become the main course of the other’s meal.

It wasn’t something Tamatoa had ever really taken part to. He was far too big and strong to worry any of the monsters in Lalotai could pose a threat to him - so no one had ever bothered trying to taste him, with the exception of a giant octopus in his early days there who had since had to make do with only three tentacles - and, as far as he was concerned, fish made for a better meal. Easy to get, too: being shiny was all he had to do, and it just so happened to be what he did best. That, and singing.

But now, to be honest, he was getting tired of singing to the void. It would have been nice to have at least some public to appreciate his voice and shiny carapace, and possibly to help him back upright. He was starting to feel lightheaded.

“Hey! A little help here? I just need a push!”

Once again, there was no reply… or almost. Something did reach him - a skittering sort of sound. Tamatoa blinked, and glanced around to see a few shadowy figures approaching - some of the inhabitants of Lalotai, all of them on the small side. Well, from his perspective, anyway. No threat to him there. He let out a snort.

“About time you guys showed up! C’mon, give me a shove and-- hey! HEY! WHAT ARE YOU--”

He had no time to say anything else before they were all around him, a whole swarm of them he hadn’t even seen approaching, and it wasn’t to help him up: under his horrified eyes, they began picking up all of the shinies that had fallen off his shell in the impact - and began reaching beneath it for the ones still attached to it.

“NO! STOP! THAT’S MINE!”

He tried to stand upright, tried to lash out of them, tried to twist around so he could crush them with his sheer weight and maybe he managed to kick off a handful of them - but stuck on his back as he was, there was no stopping them: squirming and yelling and kicking useless in the air was about all he could do.

It had taken over two thousand years for him to collect his treasure. It took less than a minute for it to be gone alone with the swarm, leaving him alone once again, unable to do anything but curse at them and uselessly call out for help in the same breath.

It’s wasn’t until later, when a low hiss reached him, that he realized that maybe he shouldn’t have made all that noise after all. When you’re trapped on your back and entirely vulnerable in the middle of Lalotai, advertising your presence may not be advisable.

Sooner or later, something big might show for dinner.

***

“Screeaaw!”

Maui let out another screech and let himself drop down towards the sea - down down down, until the could see the fish swimming under the surface - and then opened his wings, flying over the surface and then raising back to the sky in one smooth swoop.

Gods, he had missed this.

With a few more flaps of his powerful wings, Maui lifted himself high up in the sky and surveyed his handiwork. The islands he had pulled out of the sea with his brand new hook dotted the deep blue ocean, ready for Moana and her people to find and explore. Oh, she was gonna love them. He’d better be back from time to time, just to make sure he got to see the look on their faces when they reached them.

Or maybe he could go fishing. That had been his first idea, really, but then he had started pulling up island after island instead, and had gotten all caught up with that. He should just find a nice spot and…

His eyes, wonderfully sharp in his giant hawk form, suddenly caught something in the distance, very far away: the spire that stood at the entrance to Lalotai. It wasn’t quite enough to sour his mood, but it did make him frown.

When he had left that place last time, only days earlier, he had been… probably at his lowest for quite some time. He had finally held his hook again, only to find that he was unable to use it properly. He had been weak. He had been beaten. He had been thrown around and taunted mercilessly and very nearly eaten.

But now I’m back, he reasoned. I really am back.

After one more moment of thought - not much, but thinking had never been Maui’s favorite pastime - he decided that fishing could wait, after all. There were other ways to put his fishhook to use.

A rematch, just to name one.

***

When he first heard the hiss, Tamatoa assumed it was from one of the geysers. When it came closer, he hoped it was.

Then someone spoke, and he came to the conclusion that was really not his week.

“Well, well. What a surprise,” a raspy voice said somewhere behind him. “Looks like what they say is true. The great Tamatoa, bested by a human.”

“And a demigod,” Tamatoa snapped, glancing around to figure out who was talking. That still looked bad, but not as bad as being bested by just a human. Sure, Maui had been very far from peak condition - basically helpless - but that wasn’t a detail he had to reveal, was it? “And you know, I’d have liked to see you--” he added, only to trail off when his eyes finally found his interlocutor - whom, come to think of it, maybe he’d have preferred not to see at all.

Not that he saw him all in one glance. At first, all he could see were blood red scales, covering a tail that just happened to be attached to a giant lizard measuring, snout to tail, something like sixty feet.

Oh. Great. This guy.

“Pilifeai?” Tamatoa said, then he found himself grinning, the stab of annoyance turning to amusement. “Hah! Didn’t think you were still alive! What hole have you been hiding into for the past… huh. How long has it been again? A thousand years? Two thousand?”

The lizard’s yellow eyes flashes with anger. “One thousand eight hundred and five years, ten months and eighteen days,” he hissed, causing Tamatoa to give him a thoroughly unimpressed look.

“... Counting days? You haven’t been very busy, I take it,” he said, ficking an antennae at the giant lizard - who, in turn, didn’t seem to be especially bothered.

“Neither have you, from what I’ve heard,” Pilifeai countered, and smiled. Teeth the size of a human arm and sharp as obsidian gleamed in the dim light. “In your lair day in and day out, counting the shiny trinkets you’ve scavenged like a good little bottom-feeder.”

The mention of his stolen treasure was a blow, but being called that was worse. Tamatoa bristled and snapped his claws in the empty air, wishing he could get upright and get them on that insufferable reptile. “Call me that again and I’ll--”

“Yell at me? Oooh, I’m terrified,” was the dry reply.

“How about I call you that?”

There was a movement that looked much like a shrug. “Go right ahead. I know precisely what I am. You, on the other hand, never wanted to admit it. Only that now your treasure is gone, isn’t it, bottom-feeder?” Pilifeai sneered, circling him and forcing Tamatoa to move his eyestalks frantically to keep track of his movements. “All gone, even what you had back in the lair. Maaaybe you have a few trinkets left in the middle of your shell, where they couldn’t reach, but it’s not enough to hide the ugly truth, is it?” he asked, and grinned, all fangs bared. “In the end, you’re just a crab. Not much to look at.”

“Try saying that again to my face and--”

“I am saying that to your face, you dense crustacean,” Pilifeai snorted, and grinned again. “But don’t be so sour. You know what they say: it’s not what you look like that matters…”

“That’s a load of barnacles and--”

“... It’s what you taste like that’s really important.”

… Ah.

Well.

Now that could be a problem.

“H-HAH! I’d like to see you try! Last time we had a disagreement, if you’d like to call it that, I--”

“Last time we had a disagreement you were not stuck on your back.”

“... That does put things in a different perspective.”

“Thanks. Now, how about we spare what’s left of your dignity and get this over wit--”

“Because I’m upside down! Hah! Get it?”

Pilifeai stared. He blinked. He tilted his head on one side. “What?”

Tamatoa rolled his eyes, holding up his claws as though in surrender. “Upside down!” he repeated, waving both pincers. “I see things from a different perspective! Literally!”

Silence.

“It was a pun? Hello?”

More silence.

“... You’re the worst public I’ve ever had,” Tamatoa huffed, crossing his claws.

There was a snarl, and Pilifeai stepped closer. The ground trembled under his steps. “I’m not your public, you hopeless imbecile! I am a predator and now you’re my prey!” he snarled, and bared his fangs once again. Admittedly, they were impressive… and probably strong enough to break through the underside of his carapace. Or bite his head clean off.

If they catch you, Gran’s voice echoed somewhere in the back of his mind, they’ll pull you out of the shell, crack you open and eat you up.

Thanks, Gran. Not helping. As usual.

“As I was saying,” Pilifeai was going on, “if you just submit I’ll make it quick and--” he trailed off and stepped back when Tamatoa lifted his claws and snapped them shut, dangerously close to his snout. He glared, and Tamatoa glared right back.

All right, things were looking bad - real bad - but if that overgrown lizard thought he was going to let himself become his main course without a fight he was so, so mistaken. “You can regrow your tail, but can you regrow your head? Hmm? Let’s find ou--”

He didn’t get to finish what, in his not-so-humble opinion, was a seriously cool line: the next moment Pilifeai let out a hiss and moved in for the kill, maw wide open and teeth glistening. For a moment it looked like something else from long, long ago: a thin, sharp beak. Only that this time no human would stroll by and stop it, so there was only one thing for him to do.

Tamatoa lifted his pincers over his head and shrieked.

***

“CHEE-HOO!”

Maui had to admit the descent to Lalotai was a lot more fun when he went down as a giant hawk. Down, down, down at breakneck speed - only to turn himself into a shark with a flick of his hook a moment before hitting the water. That, too, was a whole lot better than going into the vortex in his human form: the pull of the water worked for him and not against him as he dove down down, past the vortex, past the water… and finally inside Lalotai.

“Chee-hoo!”

With another cry, Maui turned back into a hawk, flew straight down and then took his human moments before landing in a crouch, fishhook held tightly in his right fist. “IT’S MAUI TIME!”

“... Wha--?”

“Huh?”

All right, now that wasn’t precisely the sight he had expected to find. For one, he hadn’t thought he’d find Tamatoa precisely in the same spot he had left him days ago, stuck on his back. Second, he hadn’t expected to find him with his claws over his head to protect himself from some kind of giant lizard that… actually looked kinda familiar, didn’t it?

“... Pilifeai?” Maui said, lowering his hook, and laughed. Really, Pilifeai of all monsters? And there he thought he had gone and died someplace far away after getting his tail kicked by spirits for the final time! “HAH! Seriously? You’re still alive?”

“That’s what I said,” Tamatoa muttered, one eye poking out from under his claws. Pilifeai just hissed. Maui ignored them both.

“How long have you been hiding away, you overgrown lizard?” he asked, leaning on his hook. “Two thousand years?”

“That is also what I said,” Tamatoa pointed out, finally lowering his claws. “And he’s been counting the days,” he added, causing Maui to blink and turn to him.

“What, seriously?”

“Honest! And then he said--” Tamatoa began, only to trail off and scowl. “Wait a minute, that’s not-- what are you doing here?”

Maui shrugged. “Came here to kick your shell, but it looks like somebody else is already on to it.”

“Well, I don’t need your help!”

Maui raised an eyebrow. “... When did I say I was going to help you?”

Tamatoa stared. Maui stared. Tamatoa opened his mouth. Maui’s eyebrow went higher. Tamatoa closed his mouth without saying anything and turned with a huff. On Maui’s chest, Mini Maui marked a point for him; beside him, Mini Moana shook her head and pressed a hand against her face.

“Unless you were saying you need my help…” Maui spoke again, starting to grin. Now that would be perfect: it would get under Tamatoa’s skin way more than just being thrown around a bit. Imagine that - forcing him to admit he owed him his life. He’d never live it down.

And then he’d also throw him around a bit for good measure.

“Wha-- NO! I literally just said I don’t need your help!”

“You don’t look in the position to refuse. You can’t even get up, can you?”

“I can! I was just… I was resting! It’s a tiring job, being drop dead gorgeous all the time!”

“Really? ‘Cause it looks like the ‘dropping dead’ part is just about the only thing you’re getting ri--”

“Excuse me.”

Pilifeai’s snarl cut off Tamatoa’s protest, and caused them both turn back to him. The massive lizard stood rigid, glaring death at Maui with such intensity that he half-expected to see smoke rise from his nostrils or something like it.

“Oh, sorry,” Maui said smoothly. “Forgot you were there.”

“He didn’t,” Tamatoa pointed out. “We were just ignoring you.”

“... You really don’t do subtle, do you, Crabcake?”

“That wasn’t subtle at all. I was just pointing it out for the dumb lizard here, in case it went over his head like most things do.”

With a snarl, Pilifeai turned to glare at him. “You know this dumb lizard can hear you, don’t you?”

“Oh, and here I thought I was being subtle,” Tamatoa muttered, making quotation marks in the air with his claws. Pilifeai’s yellow eyes narrowed into slits of pure malevolence.

“Very well. I was about to make it quick. But perhaps I’ll rip off another limb or two from you as an appetizer first…”

Crabs couldn’t grow pale, of course, but Maui was pretty sure Tamatoa would have done precisely that if he could. “H-hey, now, can’t we talk this over?” he croaked. Pilifeai just licked his lips, and Tamatoa’s eyes turned to Maui, who smiled and waved.

“As I think you said a few days ago, c'est la vie.”

Tamatoa seemed about to say something, but someone else got there first. Pilifeai.

“... Aren’t you going to try stopping me?” he asked, glancing at Maui. He shrugged.

“Nope. Bonne appetit.”

The giant lizard’s scowl turned into obvious confusion, eyes moving from Tamatoa to Maui and then back. “Weren’t the two of you buddies? Have I missed something?”

“He started it!” Maui and Tamatoa exclaimed precisely at the same time, pointing at each other with hook and claw. Maui glared at him before turning back to Pilifeai. “Okay, okay. I know it’s confusing. I mean, you get distracted for a couple thousand years and--”

“One thousand eight hundred and five years, ten months and eighteen days.”

“See?” Tamatoa piped in. “He did count the days!”

“... But yes, you did miss out a few things. Bottom line is, Crabcake and I haven’t been on friendly terms for a while. The leg he’s missing? My handiwork.”

Tamatoa bristled, snapping his claws in the air. “You always had to take everything too far!”

“I told you that attacking humans was the dealbreaker, but would you listen? Nooo, you’d just follow anything that glittered, no matter what you stepped onto on the way,” Maui snarled, anger flaring up once again. His grip on the hook tightened, and he lifted it to point it at Tamatoa like an accusing finger. He failed to notice how Pilifeai’s yellow eyes moved quickly from him to Tamatoa and then back, like they had just begun speaking in another language he couldn’t make sense of. “Robbing shipwrecks was one thing, but causing them? Raiding villages? Not on my watch! You had been warned, several times!”

“What, getting mad over that again? It’s been thousands of years!”

“You tried to eat Moana last week!”

“... Who?”

“Moana!”

“You mean the human with the skinny little legs?”

“Yes.”

“The one who made a fake Heart of Te Fiti to distract me before I ate you?”

“Yes, that--”

“The one who had to save your life by dragging you away when you were too weak to even run--”

“YES, that Moana,” Maui snapped. Very slowly, Mini Maui scored one point for Tamatoa and then shrugged apologetically when Maui shot him a glare. Mini Moana snickered. “The point is, you tried to eat her--”

“She had come into my lair, completely uninvited--”

“... And then you tried to eat me!”

Tamatoa rolled his eyes. “Look, I ate my grandma and my own leg. Don’t go thinking that makes you special.”

Maui opened his mouth to snap back, but found himself blinking as what he had just heard sank in. “... Wait. You ate your own leg after I ripped it off?” he asked

Tamatoa shrugged, or at least that was what it looked like. Hard to tell, especially on an upside down giant crab. “What, was I supposed to waste it?”

“Seriously?”

“And anyway, I’ll have you know that I’m deli-- I mean, no, wait, scratch that,” Tamatoa scrambled to correct himself. “I tasted horrible. Awfully chewy. I’m actually pretty sure I’m poisonous. Heard that, Pili-- huh. Hey? Pilifeai? Where are you going?”

Maui turned to see that the giant lizard had turned his back to them and was walking away in silence, huge tail slithering across the ground like a snake. “Well away from you,” Pilifeai replied, barely glancing back over his shoulder. “I don’t know what issues you’ve got, but it’s serious and I know better than getting involved.”

“But--”

“Get help. Or kill each other, I don’t care. Pilifeai out,” the lizard snapped, and disappeared behind a boulder.

For several moments, both Maui and Tamatoa stared at the spot where he’d been standing in silence. They exchanged a quick glance, then looked away again with a scoff. Tamatoa idly snapped his claws. Maui scratched his butt with the handle of his hook.

Well.

Now that was awkward.

***

[Back to the Prologue]

[On to Chapter 2]

#moana #maui #tamatoa #disney

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