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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

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4x17: It's a Terrible Life

How have we not recapped this yet? Man, this one holds a special place in Boris’s heart -- even if it’s a Cas-less episode. (Natasha: I LITERALLY said the same thing.)

Then:

This is just gratuitous

Now:

Okay, by this point we know the premise of this episode. I’m just going to list all the Well Respected Man things Dean Smith does.

He wakes up at 6:00am to an iPod.

He steams his rice milk.

He wears suspenders and cufflinks.

He drives a Prius.

He turns off the hard rock for NPR.

Dean Smith is the Director of Sales and Marketing at Sandover Bridge and Iron.

He types memos in Word.

He uses a headset to talk on the phone.

He plays office mini-golf while schmoozing on said headset.

He watches Project Runway (Ok, Dean Winchester totally watches that too, lbr.)

HE EATS SALAD.

He says the word ‘vis-a-vis’.

His boss Mr. Adler is very impressed with him. Good stuff!

He works late.

He is thinking of doing the Master Cleanse.

He leaves at 5:30 (or really a couple minutes before, rebel!)

On the elevator ride out of the building, another passenger asks if he knows Dean. Dean, focused on his Blackberry, does not recognize the dude. The other dude won’t let it go and Dean tells him to “save it for the health club” before leaving.

Sam Wesson works in the Tech Support section of Sandover. He mainly tells people to turn it off and back on again. Works every time! Sam and another buddy, Ian, head for coffee. They ask Paul, another worker, if he wants to join them. He’s busy working! Okay, okay, wait one moment. Paul got caught surfing porn on company computers and he still has a job!? WOW.

Ian grabs some office pencils in the break room. (And we get a nice little intro shot from within the microwave….very nice easter egg for us second (and beyond) viewers.) He then asks Sam about the dreams he’s been having. Sam tells Ian that he dreamed that he saved a grim reaper named Tessa from demons. Ian finds that HILARIOUS.

At his clown car sized cubicle later, Sam drifts off, only to have vivid visions of murder and monsters --and Dean’s in them. He bolts awake, and looks around disconcerted.

Sam takes a walk and ends up in the same elevator as Dean again. They eye each other warily. Sam asks Dean what he thinks of ghosts. TOTALLY NORMAL ELEVATOR TALK. Dean hasn’t really given them much thought. Vampires either. Sam decides now is a good time to corner a perfect stranger and tell him about his CRAZY dreams. That’s what a journal is for, Sam! Dean dismisses this crazy man and exits the elevator.

Sam starts researching (AW BABY) the monsters he’s been dreaming about. Ian interrupts him and tells him that he got an email telling him to report to HR. He’s not too worried as he heads off to his fate. Sam then hears Paul freaking out because he just lost a whole day’s work.

Paul stays way past closing time trying to find his lost files to no avail. His breath puffs. They must turn the temp down after hours at Sandover. He heads to the breakroom, sticks a plastic fork in the door of the microwave and sticks his head in the microwave, and hits cook. GOOD STUFF.

The next day, as Paul’s body gets carted away, the entire office looks on, including Sam Wesson and Dean Smith. Dean thinks there’s something weird going on. He looks up Paul’s personnel file (um, like whoa, how did he get access to that?) and learns that he was set to retire in two weeks. Curious.

Sam is curious as well, but Ian is too busy working to engage. Dean calls Ian up to his office. Dean points out that there were just a few errors in a form he filled out yesterday. Ian is very remorseful. Dean doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. He just wants him to fix the errors. Very un-Ian-like, Ian starts freaking out over his mistakes. Ian runs to the bathroom and Dean follows. He finds Ian staring at himself in the mirror. His breath frosts just before all the water and soap turn on. He insists Ian leave with him. Ian turns to look at Dean, and stabs himself with a pencil. GUH. Dean sees the reflection of an old man in the bathroom stall door as Ian dies. Dean calls for help.

Dean is relaying the events to the authorities when he sees Sam looking on. Later, he calls Sam to his office.

For Thirst Science:

Sam and Dean learn that they both started working at Sandover three weeks prior. (Dean! You picked a hell of a week to start the Master Cleanse!) Sam asks Dean if he saw something when Ian died. Dean doesn’t quite admit it but he saw a ghost! Sam wonders about the suicides. “What if these suicides aren't suicides? I mean, what if they're something not natural?”

Sam brings up his dreams again. “So you're telling me that your dreams are special visions and you're some kind of psychic?” Lololololol. No, OF COURSE NOT. Sam shows Dean emails that Ian and Paul got that sent them to HR on the 14th floor --the HR office is on the 7th floor. Hmm. They decide to head to the 14th floor and room 1444.

Mr. Blandface McBlanderson heads there first. It’s an old storage room. The air gets frosty, electronics buzz on. Sam and Dean rush down the hallway after hearing the man’s cries. The door is locked but Sam Fucking Wesson just busts it open. Dean is duly impressed. Sam is too.

The ghost old man attacks Sam and Dean but Dean smashes him away with a wrench (an IRON wrench).

Decompressing back at Dean’s place, Sam longs for beer. “I’m on a cleanse,” Dean explains as he gets him a water. “I got rid of all the carbs in the house.” Oh DEAN.

At the end of this cleanse you chalk a pentagram on the floor, light a black candle, and barter your soul to get rid of those last five pounds

They compliment each other on their ghost fighting prowess. Sam “Boy Wonder” Wesson briefly tells Dean about how he feels out of place in his life. That’s SO MUCH oversharing, Sam! They decide to hit the research track. Dean finds………..the GHOSTFACERS.

We montage our way through Smith & Wesson’s research, interspersed with Ghostfacer tips. A guy named Sandover turns out to be the ghost - a workaholic who lived for his company. Turns out he’ll kill for it too. They trace a number of historical deaths to Sandover employees. It turns out that the room with the ghost attack was Sandover’s office.

The Ghostfacers continue to educate Sam and Dean on the finer points of ghost hunting: SALT. IRON. GUN.

Dean absorbs this, then wonders where one might even purchase a gun. Isn’t there a waiting period? Oh, sweet summer child. This here is the United States of America and it’s far too easy to get a gun. The Ghostfacers lesson continues...

Ed: The aforementioned super-annoying Winchester douchenozzles also taught us this one other thing. You have to burn the remains.

Harry: Okay, this next part gets a little gross. Sometimes you might have to dig up the body. Sorry.

Ed: It's illegal in some states.

Harry: All states.

Ed: Possibly all states.

Smith and Wesson return to the office to search for pieces of non-cremated Sandover. Sam gets cornered by a baby-faced security guard, leaving Dean alone to continue the hunt. In Sam’s elevator, electronics start to glitch. It’s probably nothing! The guard pries open the elevator door and crawls out onto the next floor.

The elevator slips and the guard falls victim to the blood cannon. Sam adds this incident to his list of Terrible Things That Happen in Elevators.

Sam and Dean reconnect by a historical display which includes Sandover’s gloves. Those gloves seem like likely candidates for remnant DNA...and in short order the ghost proves them right. Old Man Sandover zaps in as they break the glass. They fight!

Sandover looks like he’s got the upper hand, lowering his brain-zapping fingers to Dean, when Sam lights the gloves on fire. Sandover goes up like a torch.

Smith and Wesson are amped up after the fight! Sam wants to hunt ghosts full time. Dean scoffs at this. “How would we get by? Stolen credit cards, eating diner food drenched in saturated fats, sharing a crap motel room every night...You don’t want to go fighting ghosts without any health insurance!” Wise words.

For Look at this Well-Prepared Sunshine Science:

Sam confesses that his hunting dreams featured Dean as well. “What if that’s who we really are?” Sam wonders.

Dean defends the reality of his life. HE WENT TO STANFORD. His father’s name is Bob, his mother’s name is Ellen, and his sister is Jo. Excuse me. I’m just going to….stand outside my door and HOWL MOURNFULLY about this with the local coyotes.

“We’re supposed to be someone else.” Sam tells Dean that he started at Sandover because he broke up with Madison - but now her number leads to an animal hospital. (I swear to god, I’m gonna chew off my own arm at this show.) Sam says that Dean’s more than just a corporate suit. Dean shoos Sam from his office.

The next morning, Sam’s back at the daily grind. He steps back from his phone and then swings a crowbar at it, Office Space style.

Upstairs, Zachariah smarms his way into Dean’s office and clucks that he looks tired. He’s heard good things about Dean and offers him a generous bonus.

Zachariah hints that a big promotion could happen in 8-10 short years of constant work and sacrifice. The joy in Dean’s eyes fades. Dean turns it down and tells Zachariah that he plans to quit. “I have some other work I have to do,” Dean tells him. “This - it’s not who I’m supposed to be.” Zachariah smiles and zaps Dean’s brain. The camera desaturates.

“My god am I hungry,” a confused Dean observes as Zachariah chuckles. (Stop reading Goop, Dean! Get off that cleanse!) Zachariah explains that he’s Castiel’s boss, and he’s on Earth to ensure that the Winchesters fulfill their destiny - as hunters!

“You’re a hunter,” Zachariah explains. It’s in Dean’s blood. (I hiss at this.) And if Dean works hard enough, he’ll do everything he’s “destined to do. All of it.” GUH. Zachariah urges Dean to embrace his life. It could be worse, after all!

Semi-quote Kinda Life, Baby:

Good stuff

Did you try turning it off and then on?

Look, man, I don't know you, okay? But I'm gonna do a public service and let you know that you overshare

How the hell did you know that ghosts are scared of wrenches?

I don’t believe in destiny. I believe in dealing with what’s right in front of us

Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn 4x17 #It's A Terrible Life #zachariah #supernatural season 4

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harveywritings92 · 5 years

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Happy Death day to you [Dante’s Version.]

She's dead...she's dead, his Y/n was dead? how-how could she..."I was only gone for three days..wh-" he dropped the floor still processing Trish had told him, some truck driver ran a red light as some kids were crossing..he was drunk and didn't even notice them...Y/n ran out into the street and shoved them outta of the way and took the hit, She died on impact...

And with it Dante's will to live died with her, alcohol only numb him up, women? no point they weren't his N/n...His friends and family were worried about him, he didn't even go to her funeral. The half-Devil kept expecting the y/height woman to walk through his door like nothing happen ask how his gig went and life would return to normal...But no such luck. Y/n was dead and she wasn't coming back.

Three weeks later...

Dante was at a diner with Morrison and Patty they managed to dragged him out of his room with the prospects of a job. In reality they just wanted to get him outside and try to help him get back to normal goofball Dante. As Morrison explained the job details.

Dante's dull blue eyes traveled to a booth a few tables away he cocked a brow at the odd bunch, which consisted of a bald man with an olive complexion, tired grey eyes and an aura that screamed 'I'm too old for this crap.' Who was giving out orders and handing out post-it to the other's at his table.

a 40 something blond woman in a mailman's uniform and a wash out hippie who looked like Tommy Chong's lost love child. and for some reason an empty space, *Must have a few screws lose...* he thought as a waitress blocked his view of the hippie.

The old man and mail-Woman ordered breakfast the the hippie ordered a coffee to go, the Waitress then gestured to the empty space next to him. "And you?" the waitress asked boredly as the mail woman snorted while the old man smirked.

"She means you Nibblet." he said taking a sip of water, Dante's brow furrowed who was he talking to? there were only three people at their booth. "I...y-you can see me?" a small very familiar voice croaked the half-devil's heartbeat spiked.

The waitress looked at the fourth person annoyed "Dammit Nate, what have I told you about bringing your junkie friends around here?!" Hippie put his hands up in defense and waitress sneered at the "junkie" who was gawking at her bewildered.

"She not a junkie, that's his niece she just woke up..and she'll take a coffee too." the old man said curtly to the embarrassed waitress who just left to get their order, Dante's eyes winded in shock at the sight of his dead girlfriend sitting in the booth clothes covered in blood with her knees pulled to her chest gawking at the direction the waitress went as Nate spoke up "My niece, what's all that noise?" Only the be talked over by the Y/n who pointed at the waitstaff confused.

"How the hell could she see me? you said I was like a ghost!"

"Yes, I did say that didn't I?"

"Then what was..how?"

"If you weren't so busy crying, you would've heard me say you were incubating." He said as the waitress returned with their food and drinks, The bald man smiled at the sight of his scrambled eggs and waffles, as the h/c woman looks at him expectantly.

"Oh, I'm not telling you, that's his job." he said pointing his fork at Nate who look at him stunned "Are you out of your mind Glenn?!" the hippie shouted causing everyone in the diner to looked at him, the scruffy man blanched waved everyone off.

"I can't haul around some roadie and work at the same time." His hissed at this the blond woman to snorted "Work..he calls it." as Nate glared at her before looking around the diner for something "Where Ash? let her take the roadie..." he said as Glenn shook his head. "Who do you think Nibblet's here to replace?" he said suddenly causing a pregnant pause in the group as Glenn kept eating his waffles.

"Ash is..gone?" Blondie said suddenly not hungry anymore as she her oatmeal away and Nate slowly sat down "She didn't even say goodbye." he said as Y/n looked at them confused as the balding sighed "Y'know she couldn't have; even if that was choice, Now get her cleaned and show her how things work."

Glenn said numbly before returning to his breakfast as Nate looked he wanted to cry but sighed "This way Roadie." he gestured for Y/n to follow him all while Dante sat frozen still processing what he had just witnessed. The half-devil was brought out of it by Patty snapping her finger fingers "Dante are you listening?" she huffed as Morrison stared at him concerned.

The devil hunter look at them then back at the booth Y/n and that Nate guy were gone, Blondie was having a hushed argument with Glenn. His brow furrowed as nodded towards the booth. "Did you both see that?" He asked shaken and clearly wondering if his mind had finally snapped, Patty looked a the booth incredulously before snorting.

"Oh yeah, the guy who dumped jello and ketchup on his niece! that was funny." she giggled as Morrison chuckled along " His brother really laid it into him didn't he?" the two continued laughing while Dante couldn't believe what he was hearing, that's not what happened at all! how could they have heard something completely different from what he had? distressed Dante got up from the table and went outside ignoring Morrison and Patty calling him.

But alas they were both long gone it would be another month before he saw Y/n's look alike again. And at that point he concluded that it had to be a demon posing as his dead girlfriend...They must've taken a page from Mundas and created it to manipulate him for something...But for what? Dante was drawing blanks, he was walking back to the shop one afternoon with a fresh bottle of cheap whiskey in hand.

When someone careened into Dante knocking them to the ground, the half-devil didn't even flinch as he stopped in his tracks and looked down at the person, They were wearing a hoodie they couldn't see them properly. However before he could ask if they were okay or help them up, the person shot up to their feet giving him a clear look at their face Y/n...

"Sorry Da...Dude." She check her watch." Fuck I am so late!" she hissed rushing down the street. Not noticing Dante following her watching as she took out a post-it and looked at the street signs, finally looking relieved *must've have found the street she was looking for...* the hunter thought as he watched her turn the corner.

Dante hesitated it could be an ambush... or it could be the answer to what the hell was going on? taking a breath Dante rounded the corner to see a very disturbing scene; Y/n standing over a mangled body of a man, who'd obviously gotten run over and left for dead in the back street like a piece of garbage. the half-devil brows furrowed as he watched from the shadows as gremlin looking demons hissed and sneered at the h/c woman who just waved them off.

"Yeah, yeah I know!" she huffed before reaching her hand out towards the corpse. "Hey buddy, c'mon time to get up pal!" she said as a ghostly hand extended from the body grabbing hers, Dante's blue eyes widened shock as Y/n pulled a guy out of the mangled remains or rather his spirit. the guy looked at her confused then down at his body.

"Oh god, i-s that??"

"Yep, that's you."

"What... I'm...Who are you??" the guy stammered looked back and fourth at her and his body incredulously Y/n winced glaring at her watch, she didn't have time for this! "Y/n, grim reaper, harvesters of souls.. giver of jack shit. yada-yada, could you speed this up? I got three more appointments after you." She said rolling her hand at the dude who looked her up and down in disbelief, "But you're not a skeleton." he sputtered out the obvious as Y/n nodded and started to walk away.

"That's Fairy-tale bull-shit, listen I would've gotten here sooner. but the city bus scheduling is a joke!" she hiss throwing her hands in the air as the dude sighed in annoyance. "Tell me about it..." with that his soul faded away as Y/n walked out of the street just barely missing getting crushed by an AC unit.

"You missed motherfuckers!" she shouted as two of those little gremlin demons crawled down from the roofs and started arguing with each other. Y/n shook her head as took out a new post-it [T.j. Miller DTOD 14:14] the address it was close by, her tired e/c eyes checked her watch she still had an hour to kill...

she sighed bumping into something "arg...what is with me and bumping int-" she her voice dead when she saw who she bumped into Dante...pointing Ebony right at her face Y/n slowly put her hands up as she broke out into a cold sweat, she heard the safety unlock as the h/c mouth felt dry swallowed hard and croaked out the only thing she could think of at the moment. "...Aw Shit."

{[BANG!]}

#devil may cry 5 #dante x reader #Dante Sparda #patty lowell #Morrison dmc #devil may cry #reaper! Reader #dmc x reader

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