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imaginetonyandbucky · 7 years

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Helping Hands

Chapter Twenty Two: Getting the Upper Hand

MSNBC’s Jennifer Ellis contributed to this story

Ty Stone, former photographer and reporter of some of the hottest gossip from New York City’s cast of millionaires, actors, and musicians, recently accused of abduction of a minor, blackmail, assault, and other crimes, was attacked and beaten on Monday by a mob of inmates at the Midstate Correctional Facility where he is being held pending his trial, currently scheduled for late February.

Once the boyfriend and constant companion of billionaire industrialist Tony Stark, Stone came from a moderate background. He grew up along the Jersey Shore where

“Why are you reading this shit?”

Bucky stuck his index finger in his mouth to nurse a small papercut. “Because Darcy sent it to me and you told me that I was supposed to do everything Darcy said to do?”

“Pretty sure you should never listen to anything I say,” Tony muttered. He glanced at the headline. Name sounded familiar. Oh, right, yeah, the thing with a leaked prototype StarkPhone last year that she’d tried to scoop on. “Ellis doesn’t like me. She’s trying to paint Ty all sympathetic overly-attached girlfriend syndrome. That’s not even cute when it’s YouTube videos.”

“You think she’s going to get any traction with that?”

Tony shrugged. “Maybe a little, but people are weird about kids. The criminals in jail who are most likely to be hurt by other inmates are the ones that committed crimes against children. That Ty, as a gay man, kidnapped the son of my boyfriend in some ransom-slash-revenge plot? A judge isn’t going to go easy on him, and even if he gets some sort of mitigating sentence, ten years in prison with the other inmates out to get him is going to last a lot longer than a twenty year sentence where he’s mostly left alone.”

“So, you don’t think he’s going to get out of it,” Bucky said, a statement, not a question, really. He was thumbing through the rest of the mail, sitting at the tiny corner desk that Tony had squashed into his office. It ruined the effect of the room, which Tony actually found a goddamn relief, because the interior decorator who’d put the whole thing together had delusions of fucking grandeur and the place looked and felt too much like Howard’s study for Tony to really relax or get work done. The ‘shop was where his work happened. This… this was parlor dressing. You know, you could just redecorate the whole room. There was a thought. Tony put a mental sticker on it to come back and examine at a later time.

“You mean do I think he can plea-bargain out of it or something?” Tony spun around lazily in his chair, dropping the clipping into the trash where it belonged. “Maybe? The case is a lot more political than it looks on the surface. Ty’s got dirt on a lot of important people, and I’m sure he’s really trying to make good on those blackmail opportunities. There’s going to be pressure on the prosecuting attorney, on the judge. And there’s no such thing as a neutral jury of peers.”

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Tony dug around in his desk and pulled out a zippered bag of dried blueberries. “But, if you’re worried, a little birdie told me that Killian’s agreed to a plea deal. He’s still an asscan of epic proportion, but I don’t know that he’d have gotten mixed up in this if Ty hadn’t been directing him. Five years in a minimum security and he’ll turn state’s. I think it’s a good thing, it’ll nail the lid on Ty’s coffin.”

“Good to know,” Bucky said. He unfolded another piece of mail, scanned the contents and put it in one stack. “So, um…”

“You know what day --” Tony said, at the same time. “No, wait, you go first, it’s okay.” Tony swallowed hard, sneaking another glance at the calendar on his desk. He’d been working his way up to this all day and Bucky kept sidelining him with conversation that was important, or urgent, or sometimes not, but Tony was having a hard time getting to the point.

Bucky waved another piece of paper. “I um… got a job offer.”

Tony blinked. That was… that might actually be an answer to his question, because what the fuck even? Tony didn’t even know that Bucky was looking for work. Looking for work was looking ahead. To a future that didn’t have a Tony in it. “Really? That’s… good? Is it good? What sort of job? Is…”

“Cool your jets, rocketman,” Bucky said, fanning himself with the piece of paper. “It’s just something I’ve been considering, you know. I don’t want to complain, I really don’t, because you do so much, but honestly, I’m getting bored. And I feel… useless, kinda.”

Yep, Tony thought, slumping back in his seat. This was the moment. Bucky knew the calendar as well as Tony did. It wasn’t random, this wasn’t a random conversation, this was on purpose, this was three months to the fucking day. It’s been real, it’s been fun, gotta go, don’t call me, I’ll call you.

“So, I’ve got this enormous paycheck from SI,” Bucky continued, as if he didn’t realize he was pulling Tony’s life down around his ears, and why should he? Bucky was his own, independent person, he had a life before Tony came into it. “--and I wanted, you know, to make some sort of… I mean, meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Wait, what?

“What?” Tony said, his mouth catching up with his brain. “Sorry, I must have missed something, because I clearly recall meeting me has involved stuff like you getting shot and kidnapped and having naked pictures online.”

Bucky tilted his head to one side and gazed at Tony from under his bangs. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re a walking disaster, Tony?”

“Um… yes?”

“Kinda sounded to me like that was what you were doing. Making a list of all the reasons why I shouldn’t consider this -- you, us. This thing. A good thing.” Bucky finger-combed his hair back. “Is there some reason you’re doin’ that?”

“Because it’s true?”

“That’s horseshit, Tony,” Bucky said. There was a strange sort of fire-laced pain in Bucky’s eyes, a smoldering rage that didn’t warm, only seared and left ashes. “You know, I looked straight down the barrel at Ty’s death and I didn’t fucking do it. And I see you and see what he’s done to you, and I wonder why I didn’t. I just don’t think I could kill him enough to make you better. Whole.”

“What are you even talking about, I thought we were talking about you taking a job… somewhere else.”

“That. That right there, that,” Bucky said, pointing. “I mention getting a job offer and I don’t even say what it’s about or where it is, and you’ve already packed my bags and seen me off at the curb. That you think I’d just leave like that -- and don’t think I haven’t noticed you eyeballing the calendar, because I was a sniper, remember? I see everything. Even things I’d rather I didn’t.”

Well, that was almost offensive, that’s what that was. “Yeah?” Tony crossed his arms, feeling awkward and exposed as Bucky eyed him. “What is it you see?”

“I see the way you wake up at night,” Bucky said. “One moment you’re asleep, and the next, you’re awake and on high alert. Because you’ve been taught the hard way that you’re vulnerable when you’re asleep and you’re terrified. I see the way you disarm or deflect every attempt to compliment you. The way you give credit to others for work you’ve done, and take blame for everything that goes wrong. Even if Ty was only working with the tools that other people put in place for him… I wish to Christ I’d have shot him. I shot people during the war who deserved it less. Maybe if he could never hurt you again, he’d stop haunting you.”

“So, what you’re saying is that I’m irredeemably broken,” Tony said, which was just whining and he fucking knew it. He was fishing for some sort of rescue here, it was hideously uncomfortable to listen to Bucky’s run-down on all his carefully cultivated coping mechanisms.

“No,” Bucky said. “What I’m saying is that you’re so used to being hurt that you’re trying to beat me to the punch. I don’t want you to do that anymore, baby, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Tony waved a hand in front of his face. “Time out for my epic self-esteem issues,” he said. It wasn’t easy to stuff everything behind the wall; Bucky kept dragging it out, trying to shine a light on shit that was over and done and not fucking relevant anymore, and Tony just wanted to get… on with his life. Whatever that even was anymore.

“I’ll play it your way for now,” Bucky said, cautiously. “But not forever, Tony. We gotta deal with your baggage some day.”

“But not today,” Tony said. Yay, he won again. If you called it winning. If winning was what he was doing. If it wasn’t losing, if what he was doing was driving Bucky away with his insecurities and that wasn’t winning at all, that was fucking losing and-- He was doing it again, goddamnit, gone full circle, zero to sixty in two-point-four seconds. He took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. I’m listening. What… Tell me about the job offer.”

“I’ve been talking with Donnette--” Bucky started.

That name was familiar, why did Tony know that? “Donnette Glenn?”

“Yes, the Director for the Helping Hands Food bank,” Bucky said. “I see you remember her.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yes, I remember Donnette. I only see her once a week.”

“So, she wants to retire next year,” Bucky said. “Her daughter’s moved down to Pennsylvania and she wants to be able to spend more time with her grandbabies. So, the pantry will need a new manager, come this time next year. I’d do some on-the-job training, and the Board wants me to finish my bachelor’s. I’ve drawn up a class schedule, and I’d be able to finish within a year of starting work, so that’s acceptable to them. And it’d be giving something back to the community that helped Steve an’ me so much.”

Well, that would keep him in the city, at least. “Well, that’s very… noble of you.” That sounded condescending as fuck, but Tony wasn’t sure what the proper word would be.

Bucky chuckled. “I’m no white knight. Furthest thing from.”

“You want to talk about horseshit,” Tony said, “that’s it right there. Have you even got a clue how damn heroic you are? I mean, I’ve seen you. When someone else is at risk, you step right the fuck up. You know how rare that is? Real heroics?”

Bucky looked like he wanted to protest, and Tony was almost looking forward to throwing Bucky’s own words back at him, about diffusing and deflecting. “It’s who I am. I can’t just stand there, when I see something going wrong.”

“Must be genetic,” Tony joked. “Your son’s just like you. Wanda, too. She always wants to… fix everything.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “Gets us in trouble all the damn time. So, here’s the other thing, now. Killian’s off for at least five years, and probably on parole for a long damn time after that. Stone’s going up the creek. Your end of the contract is fulfilled. I’ve been here for three months, so, my end is upheld. Which makes us both free agents again.”

Tony closed his eyes. He didn’t want to look at Bucky while this happened. “Yeah, I… I know.”

“So, I guess my question is this, Tony,” Bucky said, and he was lots closer than Tony expected, his hand coming down on the arm of Tony’s chair. “Are you planning to go have an affair?”

“What? No!” Tony opened his eyes in shock. “That was never part of the plan. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Good,” Bucky said. “I don’t think I’d react very well to that. I get jealous.”

“I --” God, Bucky was standing so close, Tony could feel the heat of him seeping into the air around them. “I don’t want anyone else.” That was nothing but the truth, bald and open as it was. Pathetic and needy as it was.

“I don’t, either,” Bucky said. “Trial by fire boyfriending, remember?”

“I remember.”

“Think we’ve passed the trials, babe,” Bucky said. He leaned even closer, his lips mere inches from Tony’s. For a moment, Tony thought that sinful mouth was going to come down on his, and then Bucky stopped. “You… you really don’t know, do you? I mean, I’m looking right at you, and you don’t see it.”

“See what?”

“I love you,” Bucky said, simple, plain, blunt.

Someone had knocked all the breath out of him. His lung had collapsed again. Something. Because Tony literally could not draw in air, it simply wasn’t happening. “Don’t… don’t say that… It’s hard enough without that.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be,” Bucky said. “It doesn’t have to be hard at all, Tony. If you don’t feel the same way, if you don’t think you could feel the same way, I’ll go. But if you do -- and babe, I really think you do, I hope you do. I hope what I’ve been seeing in your eyes and on your face is at least a little more than friends, then it doesn’t have to be hard, because I’m not going anywhere.”

Tony floundered. “I…”

Bucky squatted down, took Tony’s hands in his. “Do you want me to stay? Stay here, with you. Not as your employee or your pretend lover, but as your boyfriend. Is that what you want? You’re allowed to want things, Tony, it’s okay.”

“Every single day you stay, it’s harder to face the idea of letting you go.”

“Then don’t let go. I told you this before. All you gotta do is love me,” Bucky said.

It was more than that. Tony already loved him, that was easy, that part was simple. Being in love was like breathing. It was believing that Tony was loved. That was the problem. “I don’t know how to do this,” he confessed.

“Hate to break it to ya, babe, but I ain’t exactly an expert,” Bucky said. “We’ll figure it out as we go, just like everyone else does. One day, one problem, at a time.”

“We’ve had some pretty damn big problems,” Tony pointed out. “Just saying.”

“And I’m still here,” Bucky said. “Nothing that’s happened has done anything to change how I feel about you aside from make me care more. I… Tony, don’t make me go. If you care about me at all, we can make this work, I know we can.”

“Make you? Make you go? Why… I don’t want that, no. I’ve been trying to figure out how to let you leave without making a scene about it.”

“Well, you can stop rehearsing a conversation that you don’t gotta have,” Bucky said, firmly. “I ain’t leavin’. Now, are you gonna kiss me, or are you gonna continue to play devil’s advocate for a position that nobody in this room is supporting?”

“I’ll take what’s behind door number one, Monty,” Tony said, and kissed Bucky with such fervor that Tony fell out of his chair and they ended up in a tangled heap under the desk. And then, since they were down there anyway, Tony found some other things he could do with his mouth.

as always, you can find me @tisfan or on A03 [x] where all my work is archived

#winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #prompts #tisfan #helping hands AU #Natasha romanov x clint barton (background)#Edwin Jarvis x Wanda Maximoff (background)#Steve Rogers as Bucky's Son

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