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#letting down too many people
littlemisspascal · 9 months
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Really need life to take a chill pill this week
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lylahammar · 6 months
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Artists really gotta stop giving “do this ✅ don’t do this ❌” style art advice. I understand having personal icks but there are no hard and fast rules in art, people aren’t doing it wrong if they draw something in a way you don’t personally enjoy, and it comes off very arrogant and anti-stylization
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royalarchivist · 5 months
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Quackity: Lately, I have been participating in events and projects, and unfortunately it's become clear to me that my presence and name have only been used to attract the attention of my national and international community with the objective, as I see it, of generating more attention towards controversies - destructive controversies, and a rupture that is very clear in the community. [...] In advance, I ask the organizers of any type of events and projects like this to please show more respect to me and my community, because I've shown lots of sympathy and cooperation in these various projects and events, but it's become clear to me that their only interest is in using my name. My name and my community have been used to attract all this attention for distorted purposes, and I will no longer allow that to happen. That is not what my content is about - not me nor my content nor anything I’ve done.
Here's Quackity's commentary on respect and his reasoning for distancing himself and his projects from future events and awards shows.
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
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Quackity: Before I leave, I would like to talk about something that is very serious for me and something that I would like to tell you about. Because for me it is a very serious topic and it is a topic that- well, I had my mind on and I want to express it- [reading Chat] yes, thank you. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas.
Anyways, lately I have been participating in events and projects, and in these events and projects, unfortunately it's become clear to me that my presence and name have only been used to attract the attention of my national and international community with the objective, as I see it, of generating more attention towards controversies - destructive controversies, and a rupture that is very clear in the community, and this is what I want to say: I'm NOT ok with these types of dynamics or stuff like this, and I want to make it very clear to my stream, my community, and everyone that, for this exact reason that I just mentioned, I want to make it clear that I want to distance myself and any of my projects from the Esland Awards, which you all know is coming up.
Sadly, the Esland Awards have been an event with a history of much controversy, a lot of division, and a lot of divisions within the community, and as you guys know, as you know, my content has never been characterized by seeking controversy or divisions or anything like that. It's for this exact reason that I don't want to be involved with these awards.
In advance, I ask the organizers of any type of events and projects like this to please show more respect to me and my community, because I've shown lots of sympathy and cooperation in these various projects and events, but it's become clear to me that their only interest is in using my name. My name and my community have been used to attract all this attention for distorted purposes, and I will no longer allow that to happen. I don't want it to happen. That is not what my content is about - not me nor my content nor anything I've done. That's what I want to make very clear here.
That's about it. I'm going to continue with the projects I'm doing and I want to thank my community so much for the support and love. I appreciate it very much, but I wanted to make this clear - I wanted to make this clear. This is just a topic I wanted to address quickly.
Thank you for all the love and support, I love you all so much.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months
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More MDZS and Hollow Knight! The cool bugs I found in my backyard have started to unionize.
Part 1 - Part 3
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Dennis shielding Dee whether it's physical harm or a verbal confrontation. And thinking about ada's tag alongside the gifs
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They're both of equal threat to him...
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smokbeast · 4 months
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Seeing allot of trans stuff lately. I don't do this but obviously trans people and all people of LGBTQ+ are welcome here!! If you are a terf or sick mf I will stomp on you till you die you are not welcome here.
Also merlot, frak and soma are trans! Allot of my ocs are of the queer skellies and my goobies alike so hehe :]
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winepresswrath · 6 months
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hi! i always love your MDZS/CQL takes; can i ask what are the questions you think CQL is asking, as compared to MDZS?
I haven't actually revisited either canon in ages, which is making me nervous. what questions the novel is interested in can be pretty contentious all on its own! @mikkeneko has an excellent answer in the notes here which I reccomend to everyone. My own thoughts are honestly pretty scattered- I keep on deleting things and going hm, that's not quite right.
So, for the obvious-to-me example, people reasonably zero in on the creation of innocent doctors/radish farmers who Wen Ruohan is holding hostage. In CQL it's easy to infer that Wen Qing and Wen Ning are maybe the only cultivators and almost certainly the only combatants among the Wen remnants, and their status is much more ambiguous in the novel, which I personally think is asking, essentially, "and so what? were they wrong to run, when they had a chance? Do they deserve what Jin Guangshan will do to them if they go back? Aren't they just people, actually?" Whereas the question that CQL is asking is more to the effect of "What does Wen Qing owe these people, when she is their only defence? What is she entitled to do to save them, at other people's expense? If she fucks up that moral calculus, what then? Does it matter if she's personally fond of some of the outsiders who are going to get hurt? If one of them saved her brother? Later, this question will flip to what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, and the parallel to Jiang Cheng's situation in particular is, I think, genuinely pretty fun. You're giving up the Wen as soldiers who've laid down their arms in exchange for Wen Qing also grappling with leadership and the question of how many horrors she can stand to look the other way on to protect her own people. one reason I keep deleting so much is that a lot cql's changes were motivated at least in part by censorship, which I think we mostly share a general and justified distaste for! but I also think that within the bounds of that censorship the creative team put a lot of work into actually doing something interesting with those changes. Or, for another example- nieyao! There's a much greater emphasis on the nmj-jgy relationship, it's unambiguously very close and they are clearly extremely important to one another, and I think that's because the cql team has a lot to say about love, trust, power, and the ways those things interact, and that reflects back on all of the other relationships in play, including Wangxian. Almost every time, when CQL chooses change a relationship they make the characters in question closer- that's true for Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, for Wen Qing and the Yunmeng contingent, for Zixuan and Mianmian, and Huaisang and Meng Yao. It's even true for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, who have a close and trusting relationship in first life! CQL puts a much greater emphasis on "all right, so you care, what next?" How do you choose someone and then choose to be good to them? What if there's a massive power disparity between you? What if you seriously disagree about your priorities and morals? How do you trust someone who's betrayed you? When is it a stupid choice to trust at all? How do you have faith that you know someone well enough for that trust to be meaningful?
for legal reasons i would like to specify that it's not that mdzs isn't interested in these problems. i do remember wangxian's literal trust fall. cql is asking these questions all the time about everyone. also for legal purposes i'm not suggesting that cql lwj and jc love each other. but! they establish a three month wartime partnership looking for wwx and then jc immediately drops him on wwx's say-so despite apparently having a positive enough opinion of him to tell wwx he thinks they should make up twice. lan wangji will later tell wwx he thinks he should loop jc in on the second flautist! these are people trying to navigate some kind of relationship/shared interest/community, as opposed to a hateful void. cql wants to say hey, how do you go about this? while I'm here and rambling cql also puts a lot of emphasis on wwx's connection to yunmeng and changes things up so instead of feeling alienated right before he leaves our last glimpse of him there is happily picking lotuses and playing with a kid! in both stories the narrative is asking who do you protect? who do you leave behind? can you ever get it back? but the angles are very different.
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torao-chan · 6 months
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So going back and forth about Leander I was wondering how quick you caught on to his scheming. Because I first I didn’t like him but I didn’t really have a reason why I just didn’t. But upon rereading his dialogue I was like hmmmmm
Oh man, I clicked like. maybe three lines in.
I have what my friend affectionately dubs an 'evil-dar'. I may not be able to tell you exactly why someone's fucked up, but if I see them and I immediately like them- they fucked up.
Probably, I think the earliest sign for me, was the emphasis on performing.
A pair of gilded boots stride across the tabletop. "Seriously, you dogs? Again?" Scattered laughter and cheers rise from the audience. I drag my eyes upwards... a well-dressed man stand on the table in front of me, his broad shoulder framed by the thick lapels of a trench coat. "This really is the last time, alright?" This time, when he speaks, the audience falls silent, as though bewitched by his magnetic presence or rich, low voice. But nothing is as captivating as his smile. He beams at the crowd around him, a performer on his makeshift stage. "Don't blink, or you'll miss it."
These were the bits the immediately drew me in, the bolded bits. And it's the bolded, italicized bits that immediately made me go 'he's hiding something, and it's horrific, and I want to know more.'
Gilded boots in a downtown pub; carefully designed, likely expensive in taste, and yet he's in the slums- the place where people pull a face when you mention going there. It doesn't say cheaply gilded, or with a fancy design- it's just gilded. It's intentionally not giving us much, but telling us something important- this is a man who is conscious of his appearance. Of how he looks, how he presents, right down to the design on his boot. And he cares enough to throw money at it. If it was just from his upbringing, he wouldn't maintain them, wouldn't still have them today. We don't have a word describing how put together the boots are, how well maintained, but we do immediately get told that he's a performer. It's highly likely that they are chosen and maintained intentionally.
"This really is the last time, alright?" is tasty tasty to me. How will this be inflected, when voiced properly? Is this an establishment of boundaries, from a man placating his pack of puppies? A certain firmness there, that indicates that his word is law here; he's not joking this time? Or is it a man caving to the pleads of his people, throwing them another bone to keep them satisfied in between working on other schemes? Either way, this is a man who has power and is prone to indulging people; and indulging them in a way that indicates he is above them. Whether intentionally or not, consciously or not, this is the stance it takes- to me, at least.
The audience is bewitched by him, the mage. His charisma is high, he's generally liked and adored, and that means he's a man who can get away with a lot of shit. He can work a crowd, appeal to masses and individuals as one, and makes them all feel special- whether they're all together or by themselves. This gets emphasized a lot later, too, and in a lot of his profiles and lil details, but this is when I knew that. He knows how to work a person, and that usually comes from trauma or social ambition, and either way- I'm interested and hungry.
The fact that they outright state he's "a performer on his makeshift stage" makes me so ravenous alksjgldsjgl. The table is his stage, the pub is his stage, heck! The whole town is his stage and he's performing nonstop the entire time we interact with him. Fake or real, undecided- but performing nonetheless. A performance doesn't have to be dishonest, but it is intentional. And intentional means that there's a goal to be achieved- grand or otherwise.
And then there's the warning.
Three lines in (damn, I was right- literally three lines of dialogue from him).
"Don't blink, or you'll miss it."
Such an enticing statement, always. It's so easy to miss, his flashes of soul under the performance. The moment in the pub, later, when he's content to leave the chaos to reign until the player turns to him for help (and then he sighs, like he didn't want to, wasn't planning to, but who was he to let down a new audience member?). The moment of flat on his face, when you refuse his hand, and he grabs you anyway, determined to pull you into his web, into his puppet show. You could be a valuable piece- a fresh pawn off the woodcarver's table, and unblemished, yet, by the rest of the city. The moment when he looses his composure slightly, unaware to what extent Kuras had seen you during your examination.
There's so much there that sold him to me immediately as a favourite, as a schemer, as someone to watch out for because they've always got a knife three inches from your back, and that is super attractive, but man.
Yea, three lines of dialogue in, and I knew.
As my friend said, I have an 'evil-dar'. asdlkjlgsjg if I like the character, she knows 9/10 times, they're definitely fucked up in some way aslkjdklgsdg
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allurasrealm · 7 months
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maybe I'm stupid but the way some people have been suggesting for Marie to just tell Jordan to turn into their femme form before having a romantic moment rubs me the wrong way.
don't get me wrong I get that people are confused but Jordan being in their masc form every time they are having those moments with Marie because of insecurities were already addressed and I don't think this is something that will be resolved in a few episodes. and I do want them to have a talk about it so bad but i actually like that they are taking their time with it.
I also think some people don't get the memo that this isn't a sapphic relationship, queer yes, but not sapphic soooo yeah.
Jordan's journey is about getting to the point where they don't feel pressured to turn into a specific form to please others so suggesting that Marie tell them to turn into their femme form seems to me that it would contribute to the issue more. to me that wouldn't Marie any better than Jordan's first girlfriend.
they should talk yes. Marie should tell Jordan that they don't have to turn into a specific form with her because she simply likes them as a person but definitely not in the way some people have been suggesting.
I guess all Marie can do at that point is just be there for them and be supportive. give Jordan time and space to be more confident.
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jackalmeat · 1 year
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The first time I watched Arcane, the framing of Vander's and Silco's ideological clash led me to initially assume that, when Vander attempted to kill Silco, it was because Silco had grown so 'extreme' in his views/actions that Vander became disillusioned and ultimately tried to kill him to prevent him from carrying out some course of action that Vander saw as 'going too far'. The season was notably vague on what exactly was the catalyst for the attempted murder, and I think it's reasonable to say that my kneejerk assumption about the situation was indeed the version of events that the show itself seemed to want viewers to believe.
That is to say, the show itself seemed to want viewers to believe, at least for now, that Silco must have crossed some kind of moral event horizon (or imminently intended to) that was so big and so bad that Vander saw fit to kill him for being, essentially, Too Much.
The thing that makes me hesitant to believe that that's the entire truth of what happened, or that Silco unequivocally """earned""" the attempt on his life by becoming too dangerous (too radicalized?) in Vander's eyes, is simply the fact that the very first thing we see Vander do on-screen is beat an Enforcer to death, with gauntlets, in front of freshly orphaned children. And this happened after he attempted to kill Silco. It's communicated visually in that sequence that that kind of violence was the currency Vander had dealt in for a long time; and that his choice at that moment to cast down his gauntlets and walk away from the smouldering battleground (literally and figuratively) with Vi and Powder in tow marked a significant turning point in the way that he engaged with the world.
In light of that, it just seems like the natural follow-up question is, "Okay -- if Vander was still down for leading a violent insurrection, beating people to death with his own two hands, etc. right up until this moment here, then what the fuck did Silco do that was enough to make even him go, 'come here, naughty rat man, it's murder time'?"
This isn't "proof" or "evidence" that Silco and Vander couldn't simply have had a violent ideological split that culminated in attempted murder by any stretch. I just find the overall framing of the situation odd in a way that makes me think there's more to the tale than what the show has thus far implied.
(For instance: perhaps some kind of external pressure which forced Vander into a bitter choice, similar in spirit to the "we both have our shitty parts to play -- get me Jinx, and I'll give you your nation of Zaun" deal Silco was later faced with? The difference being that Vander sacrificed Silco [or attempted to] in favor of whatever was to be gained by doing so; whereas Silco recognized that he had arrived at the same precipice Vander once had, and ultimately couldn't do to Jinx what had been done to him?)
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summertimemusician · 8 months
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Linktober Shadow Day 7
Gloom Hands
This goes out to the way I cackled hysterically once seeing these things in TOTK, well done Zelda Team. They're a terrifying concept and I really feel exploring that could be fun, even if this prompt gave me a headache and a half.
Bit late today because we've been pelted by way too many storms/lightning and writing on mobile with lightning shaking your house is generally a bad idea, so I spent most of the time writing this and the Linktober prompt by hand, then transcribing it back onto mobile as soon as I could touch eletronics without the major risk of being zapped and picking a god and praying that my internet wouldn't be too funky so I could get it out on time. Short one again though because I still need to finish the Linktober prompt so it should come out later today or fully tomorrow, sorry folks.
Anyway, as always can be read as romantic or platonic, also Sage is here both because of the prompt and because the mental image of Wild Reader and Sage trauma bonding over the extremely twisted nature Gloom/the Malice have compared to just dark magic in general in LoZ was too funny to resist, if Nintendo won't talk about the many variations of Dark Magic in LOZ and how it affects any who come in contact with it then lord darn it I guess I'll just have to do it myself (or as much as I can without breaking out the companion essay to the Realm of Darkness and Realm of Light essay which I'm already having trouble digging out).
TW:
Technically graphic descriptions of decay, gore and eldritch horror, and Reader just not having a good day in general, don't recommend reading I'd you're highly squeamish.
When you’ve first met Sage, as the Chain temporarily dubbed him, you and Wild didn’t miss the way he looked so, so haunted. Emotions warring like a storm as he looked Wild over in a mix of disbelief and the weariness of a wounded fox getting ready to bite just to escape, at the Chain with such longing ache that made one’s heart break, the way the first time he met Wolfie he didn’t hesitate to throw himself atop the canine and hug him so close like he was trying to melt into the fur, and looking at you like he didn’t know wether to cry, scream or to shut down before he buried it under the mask you knew your resident Champion could use when trying so desperately to keep it together, hands shaky as he signed in a way that set your teeth on edge and felt like you had taken a dozen of ice arrows to the back, urgent, 'It’s not safe. None of you should be here. You need to leave. Now.'
Needless to say it was alarming, even as you all knew just how ferociously untamed his and Wild’s Hyrule could be, with being overrun with so, so many types of divinity through each crack, root, drop and flesh of it’s beings. From Hylia’s cold calculating care, the Three Goddesses blood, tears and breath of life, to the Malice’s howling self sustaining fury, The Lost Woods ever overgrowing freedom and even the remnants of the Fierce Deity’s hunt in Satori’s and Malaniya's savage display of cyclic eternity, it wasn’t any surprised that apart from the Traveler’s Hyrule it was the most aggressive one with the smorgasbord of energy so thick it made even you choke on it everytime you stepped foot in it. Beautiful and free in an echo of it’s once untamed state in the age of myth even before Sky.
Over time, you and the Chain learned how to adapt to it. To listen to the warnings Wild gave about the Guardians and about the remains of Malice in his monsters, of how the moon had been forever tainted with it and how, until Sheikah tech was fully repurposed it would be best to avoid the castle all together it was difficult but manageable, and even if Sage’s reaction was alarming (and he seemed even more troubled once Wild passed onto him from Sky that, while he wasn’t to come with them yet due to how things were apparently ‘fated’ to happen, there was no way you all could leave quite yet, distantly sticking by Wild and Twilight when possible and checking on everyone’s health when not doing so), you’d though it would be much the same for his own, and in parts you were right as the Chain had taken to the new environment like fishes to water even if it took some adjustments.
Though you were quickly proven wrong, and you could have laughed at your past self’s naivety.
It was meant to be a quick run to clear a black blooded monster camp, and while decently challenging, it was over quickly between the Chain getting more apt at fighting the enemy, Sage’s addition as the man fought as ruthlessly and ferociously as Wild, switching between deadly marksmanship and feral combat on a dime and the absence of the unnaturally inteligent black scales lizalfos, you’d rest and be on your way quickly. Or so you all thought.
Twilight had been the first to smell it, the bubbling of dark but distinctively twisted magic, even more so than Zant’s brand of madness. Wild the one to spot it, the rot black and blood crimson building up at the edges of camp from his vantage point but it was Sage who had tensed, eyes snapping to the faint glow the Master Sword emmited just as the sky darkned before his frantic, alarmed howl swept over the Chain, the sheer desperate, protective panic making all of your boys still, because Sage never used his voice unless he absolutely had to, “IT'S NOT OVER! MOVE!”
It was all the warning any of you got before reality twisted, straining, and then finally screaming, the heavens staining with crimson as if gutted open, the eyes of a sin against nature itself cutting through your relief and infecting your veins with terror. It shakes you to the core, freezing with indecisive flight or fight as you spotted the tide. Heart in your throat as you tried to comprehend what you saw.
“WHAT THE-“, Legend cursed, looking ashen as his grip on his fire rod tightened. Really, all of your heroes look disturbed and you can’t blame them.
“Get to high ground if you want to live! We can’t fight these things.”, snapped Sage, much more composed, but no less frenzied.
None of you hesitate to listen.
(There were some unspoken rules, when in Wild’s Hyrule the first time around. If there is something the Champion, the most reckless of all Links, wasn’t willing to fight head on or said wasn’t worth it, the best course of action was to listen, specially if the group was vulnerable.)
The hands screech, the tide rolling over the land with an reality splitting clamoring, a sound so filled with fury and so, so twisted it made your Hylian’s ears friends bleed and you lift a hand to your head in pain as Wild pulled you along, Sage leading the charge for the nearest cliff face as Warrior’s threw Wind over his shoulders and Twilight didn’t hesitate before doing the same to Four, the frost from Legend and bomb arrows from Time and Sky barely doing nothing to slow it’s relentless charge, merely taking from it a distorted, pitched crescendoing belt of pure rage and the overlaying of many tortured souls screaming all at once, of Hyrule rejecting this existence from the world but wounded at being unable to vanquish it, the sound it makes as it spreads and drags itself across the ground with uncanny speed with it’s many, many arms like something in between sludge and smacking, wet, rotten flesh.
Sage switches between shooting arrows to helping the other Links up the cliff and shooting at it’s eyes with the strongest bow he has,making as many arrow fusions on the spot as he dares. The others quickly taking as many ranged weapons from their sides to do the same. You help Hyrule up the clifface, while Wild swipes Cryonis over the field, climbing up himself, being hauled to Sage’s side.
You are almost there when one of the hands latch onto your ankle, and you go down with a scream, Sage all but dropping the bow in his hand in favor to latching onto your hand with snarl. And
It.
Is.
Agony.
(It burns through you like your very atoms have been set on fire,bthe hands take the opportunity to sink into you, long long unnatural fingers sinking into your flesh in a unhurried blanket of darkness, the Demon King’s will is roaring, growling with abyssal rage, if it cannot rule Hyrule, it would kill everything in it instead. Gloom sinks into your cells, raptures the membranes and makes the skin slip, frantically invading, you taste rotten flesh on the back of your throat and the scent of wither and ash choke you as it sinks into your flesh, marrow, breaks down your bones bit by bit, cracking and infecting and breaking down your very essence with the fury of a dead deity which refused die, decay on an accelerated rate all over where the hands clutched like a vice as the Links trunfo pull you out or attack it and it is painful and it’s excruciatingly wretched and make it STOPCEASEITHURTS-)
A well aimed Skyward Strike severs the connection, the pain stops and you fall into Sage, breathing hard and unevenly, grasping at him like a lifeline, clawing and counting at Wild’s arm on your other side like a wounded animal, your taste blood on your throat from the screams that were ripped from it, Hyrule falling to his knees on your side as healing magic washes over you like a shroud, trying to get you to respond.
Reality howls along with you, before all is silent.
It barely took a second.
“... Just what were those things?”, rasps Sky, horrified, a sentiment echoed through the Chain, though you can’t focus on it, trying not to choke on your own blood and to pull yourself together, Wild’s hand unconsciously settling on your pulse, shaking, and Sage’s tense tone cuts through the air as he scans the area. Still tense, tone hoarse.
“... The reason why I wanted you to leave.”
Later, much, much later, before you all leave, you learn they are called Gloom Hands.
It’s unanimously agreed that all you hold loathing for those abominations, even long after you’re forced to leave Sage.
He whispers something to Wild on the way out, hugging him close, trembling. Your Champion nods, you can’t make out the words, but you make sure to hold him as close as you can before you go, indulge him in checking for your pulse even long after you’re healed.
You hope he’ll be safe, he hopes that the next time you all see each other again, it’ll be under better circumstances.
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blluespirit · 3 months
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I sort of like the thought that Zuko and Aang take the Sun Warriors' warning not to tell anyone about the dragons a little more seriously… and they keep it between them. Of course, they trust Sokka, Toph and Katara. Of course they know they wouldn’t tell anyone, but now three people (including Iroh) know the truth about Ran and Shaw. And that’s three too many when you’re trying to keep a secret.
(and there are other people at the temple as well - like Haru, Teo and The Duke - who, while trustworthy, aren’t as close to them as the others, and when it comes to secrets with as much consequence as this one, you can’t afford to take any chances.)
Furthermore, the culture within the Fire Nation since Sozin’s rein has been warped. The culture is not to respect the dragons as the original firebenders, it’s to conquer and kill them. It’s the ultimate proof of your strength as a firebender. All it takes is one mistake before rumour spreads, and people go looking for the ultimate hunt. It’s not something Zuko or Aang can risk.
Whether Katara, Toph and Sokka (and Suki) ever find out the truth is up to you. But post-war, after Zuko returns from a strange, poorly explained trip with a dragon, and eventually develops the ability to use rainbow fire, either the others have some questions about Aang’s knowing look, or they are finally let in on a monumental secret.
#it’s a kids show so i think for that reason it was played for laughs about keeping the dragons a secret is not necessarily a bad choice...#the show does that sometimes where it says something off hand and then leaves me lying face down contemplating ✨the consequences✨ of that#but there are some… implications there about being too loose lipped with the truth in leading up to the end of and immediately post#war fire nation. just because zuko understands the spiritual significance of a dragon it does not mean the rest of his people will. actuall#its more likely that they'd reject zuko's opinion considering that he's basically coming into power and then telling everyone that#they've been lied to their whole lives. the fire nation is drowning in propaganda. for a lot of people this opinion of dragons and#firebending's true nature being violence and destruction is all they know. fire is LIFE but to most people that's an alien concept#and in terms of keeping secrets - it’s not even a matter of trust it’s a matter of too many people knowing#you might not even realised you’ve revealed some incredible information to someone who has the means to spread it or pursue it#so… i think zuko would be hyper aware of this. since he grew up hearing stories about the 'glory' of dragon hunting#and since iroh has also made a concerted effort to keep this information hidden i think it makes sense he’d be very hesitant to let it#get out to the public#aang would agree i think esp if zuko explained the importance of hiding them even from loved ones#ALSO random but it also makes me wonder what the fire nation said about roku in wake of the war#he had a dragon but he didn’t kill it. he didn’t ’conquer’ it#sozin would have had to work his ASS off to reframe history as him being the more… loyal(?) patriotic (?) of the two#did he frame it as roku didn’t have the courage to kill a dragon??? that he lacked the strength of a true firebender?#the avatar works hard but sozin's propaganda machine works harder 🧍‍♀️#zuko#aang#avatar the last airbender#zuko & aang#jack talks#sun warriors#book 3#what is it with me having a whole separate post in the tags 👁️👄👁️
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beans-and-shet · 1 year
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You’re my happy place
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flowercrowngods · 7 months
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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studyinglavender · 1 year
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sorry! but i am never going to be okay with the covert unless it is reformed significantly. maybe it doesn’t fit the ‘technical definition’ of a cult but it is nonetheless a harmful creed. the person being baptized in 3x01 was a child no older than 16. if you are being asked to follow the way or leave, sure- you’re given agency. but if it’s the only community you know? you’re staying. for din, especially pre-grogu, it wasn’t a choice. if he took off his helmet and became an apostate, he would lose the only family he has ever known. do you not see how fucked up that is?
it’s unfair to compare it to a religion which requires full covering at all times, because even those religions allow you to be unclothed in private, among your family members, and in emergency scenarios such as a life-threatening head injury. there is no inaccessible repentance process if you do not abide by those rules. whereas the creed requires the helmet to remain on at all times (in s1, din said it could not be removed in front of a living creature, but that exception wasn’t specified in the armorer’s questioning in bobf or in the baptism from 3x01). bathing in the living waters isn’t like going to confessional or praying. it is something that was considered impossible by the members of the covert. redemption for apostates was not a reality until din proved them wrong.
the covert also reminds me too much of mormonism to ever feel comfortable defending it. i felt sick watching the first episodes of s3 when din kept talking about how he was an apostate who needed to be redeemed. a fucking apostate. for taking off his helmet to save the life of his child. for letting his child see his face. for that, they were prepared to exile him from the covert, knowing full well it is the only community he has ever known. you know what’s so scary about leaving the mormon church? if you’ve grown up in it, most of the time your social network is comprised only of other church members. you’re encouraged to avoid making friends with people who may lead you astray—because they drink coffee or alcohol, smoke, swear (i’m not kidding). you remain in this small bubble, and after you are baptized at age 8 (which is the age they decide you have agency and are capable of sinning), you second-guess every choice you make. i cried because i could never remember to say my prayers or read my scriptures and i knew i needed to repent for my sins. and when i started questioning my beliefs, i was so terrified of facing the truth because i thought my mom would no longer want me in her life. i distanced myself from many friends to avoid their judgement. i knew if i left, there was no going back. i would be inserting a wedge between me and the other people of my faith with whom i had grown.
for much of his life, din has known only the covert. he was brought up as a foundling and he knew only of the creed. he was taught that the mandalorian armor belonged only to those who followed the creed and rejected the idea that there could be a mandalorian who may not hold the same beliefs. we know he was a very lonely person before grogu. the covert was the only family he ever had. how is it a choice, then? “you may leave at any time you wish,” but if he takes off his helmet, he is an apostate and he must find a new home, a new family, a new belief system. he would have no one. what kind of a choice is that? in what world would he ever want to take off his helmet?
so yeah, the covert is not just a religious sect hiding from persecution. they are, at best, a high-demand religion, where allowing your child to see your face is an unfathomable act that necessitates redemption. if din djarin remains part of the covert as it stands, that’s extremely disappointing.
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squuote · 1 year
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saying I ship them is not enough, I need to carefully and intricately explain exactly how their dynamic works and what they mean to each other and how they rely on the other in a detailed fashion that encapsulates exactly how their relationship effects me as a person. I need to put their relationship in a way that is more than just ‘I think they should kiss’ because kissing is gross and I think they should fight each other and fight for each other instead as an act of love. And because there’s so many ways to love, defining it through only a small selection of actions does it no justice. I need to explain the ways they care for the other, especially the parts that are never spoken. The intricacies of love as a concept that aren’t bound to a simple romance will be spilled once I get my damn hands on it
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