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crowdvscritic · 2 years

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round up // JUNE 22

Big action! Twisty plots! They can only mean one thing: summer. Big blockbusters are back in theaters, and so am I! This month’s list of recommendations is on the short side, but there are still top 10 picks, including three movies fresh to the big screen or streaming.

June Crowd-Pleasers

1. Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

The kind of blockbuster that is making people who aren’t passionate about movies to become passionate about this movie. I’ve talked with many in the last few weeks who have said they haven’t seen or don’t like the 1986 Top Gun or action movies in general, but they all left in love with this sequel. As one who is passionate about movies and loves Top Gun, I also gotta say it took my breath away. Be sure to see it on the big screen for the ultimate thrill ride. Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 8/10

2. Chip ’n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)

Apparently Rescue Rangers was a TV show starring Chip and Dale in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s—that means nothing to me. What does mean something to me: John Mulaney and Andy Samberg teaming up to voice animated chipmunks and inviting their pals (like Will Arnett, Keegan Michael-Key, Chris Parnell, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, J.K. Simmons, and—wait, Steve Curtis Chapman?) to join this hilarious Who Framed Roger Rabbit?-style adventure. Now make Aunt-Man, you cowards! Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

3. Double Feature—Police Action Thrillers: Chaos (2005) + Copshop (2021)

Fun fact about me: I’ll watch Jason Statham in pretty much anything, and…I’m pretty much on my way to doing that. Chaos (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10) is one of the most watchable action B-movies he’s been in (and believe me, “watchable” is higher praise for his canon than you’d think—you can only remake The Italian Job so many times). Statham, Ryan Phillippe, and Wesley Snipes lead a twisty bank robbery plot that may surprise you even with its hackneyed setup. That’s also true for Copshop (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), which is a twisty prison break plot Gerard Butler, Frank Grillo, and Alexis Louder turn into something fun. Pair these movies together for an afternoon of action comfort food.

4. Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Look, we can sit around and pick at its flaws, but that is not this review. Here are three things I loved about this movie (which is part of a franchise you know I love):

Dominion is by far the most intellectually curious of the World movies, asking big questions about ethics in science, how we cope with impending disaster, and our responsibility to each other. These are all-time questions but feel especially relevant to our time in how they're presented, and I don’t think any Jurassic movie has been this curious since ’93.

It reunited my Avengers (Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill) and gave them appropriate and consistent arcs for each of them, not just cameos! Even better, it let Goldblum be Goldblum, which was my biggest wish for this movie.

It featured some of the most fun set pieces of the World series: That chase in Malta! A triple giant dino fight! Scary locust! Even better, homages to the past and the fresh-to-the-franchise ideas were in balance.

Maybe another day I will write about the things that did not work, but I'm still reveling in the Dern and dinos at the moment. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

5. Runaway Jury (2003)

2003: My dad dragged me to see this in theaters though I insisted I wasn't interested. To this day it is still only one of two movies I've ever fallen asleep during at the cinema. (The other was Master and Commander, which I did want to see. Apparently 2003 was a bad year for holding my attention.)

Father's Day 2022: Finally finished it with Dad! Though I’m feeling validated this movie was not for a pre-teen me, it’s quite fun for adults who understand of how juries work. Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman are competing to chew the most scenery, and John Cusack and Rachel Weisz may or may not be your classic John Grisham heroes to root for in this twisty conspiracy plot. PSA: I am ready for John Cusack to make a comeback at anytime. If you have any influence in the matter, I appreciate you using it to make whatever we're watching better. All team-ups with Joan welcome. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

June Critic Picks

1. It’s Always Fair Weather (1953)

I don’t care what you say—Gene Kelly’s tap dance in roller skates here confirms my love for the terrible-yet-delightful Xanadu. The Turner Classic Movies intro informed me this was pitched as a sequel to On the Town but was reworked when Frank Sinatra and Jules Munshin were unavailable. Knowing this does make me wish the OG team could’ve reunited for that vision—the other two guys felt like filler, not like a part of a true ensemble—but I’m such a sucker for Kelly and Cyd Charisse that their dancing and the fun premise covers those weaknesses. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

2. And the Oscar Goes to… Podcast

TCM host Jacqueline Stewart is putting together a podcast about pivotal Oscar ceremonies? You don’t have to tell me twice to subscribe. Listen for insight on how the Academy Awards overlap with politics, social change, the history of film in in 1940, 1957, 1973, 2002, and more.

3. Margin Call (2011)

I can’t pretend I understand all the economic, um, stuff in this inspired-by-the-2008-financial-collapse drama, but I do understand the power of a top-notch cast to create suspense even with a clueless audience. Paul Bettany, Jeremy Irons, Demi Moore, Zachary Quinto, Stanley Tucci, and more will get you invested even if you’re like me and have zero interest in Wall Street. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

4. Good Reads

A miscellaneous Round Up of links that appeared in my inbox and Twitter feed I’m happy to put in yours.

“The Jonas Brothers Are 'Better' Than They've Ever Been: 'We're Having the Time of Our Lives,’” People.com (2022) - I’ve never felt more seen than when People listed 100 reasons to love American and made the Jonas Brothers #1

“The 25 Most Quintessential 1980s Soundtracks, From Top Gun and Footloose to Do the Right Thing and Repo Man,” Variety.com (2022) - Because no other decade has done soundtracks like the ‘80s

“A New Golden Age Emerges for O.G. Film Stars,” HollywoodReporter.com (2022) - A follow-up of my recommendations of Top Gun: Maverick and Jurassic World Dominion

“Labor Exploitation, Explained by Minions,” Vox.com (2022) - This is a little ridiculous—few things in life deserve to be analyzed less than the Minions—but it’s so well-written I couldn’t help but get a kick out of it

“What Would You Like to Know?” Vulture.com (2022) - You know I wouldn’t scroll past a Joe Alwyn profile

“I’m Not Afraid of Stephen King Books Because I Know Maine Isn’t Real,” McSweeneys.net (2022)

“The Lord of the Rings Hobbit Stars Reunite for 'Smash It Out of the Park' Dinner,” EW.com (2022) - My heart!

5. Letter From an Unknown Woman (1948)

Joan Fontaine strikes again! Here she’s a lovesick groupie of a handsome pianist (Louis Jourdan) who basically wills a relationship with him into existence. It’s a tragic romance that will make you swoon over their affair and the gowns. Another entry on my Letterboxd list “’40s Gals Just Trying to Live Their Best Lives BUT SOCIETY.” Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

Also this June…

My Best Picture Project continues slowly but surely with How Green Was My Valley, aka the film that beat Citizen Kane for Best Picture. If this kind of movie isn’t your cup of tea, this especially slow-paced drama won’t be for you. But if historical family dramas make you feel warm and cozy, it’s worth checking out. Read my Crowd and Critic reviews.

On SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I released a new episode the HBO sitcom(?) The Comeback. What real life lawsuit may have inspired a storyline on the show? Is it possible for a show to be cringier than the character of April Nardini on Gilmore Girls? (Spoiler alert: Yes.) And what on Earth is the “that” no one wants to see? Get the documentary crew ready to follow us on our journey!

And in ep. 123, Lorelai is comparing Rory’s new apartment to an Irish memoir and a ‘70s sitcom—you know, like you do all the time. How were we introduced to these references by two modern sitcoms? What do Harry Potter actors have to do with Angela’s Ashes? Can you still go to the Sanford and Son junkyard? And are Rory’s new digs with Paris really as bad as the homes Lorelai is referencing?

#Round Up #Chaos #Copshop #Jurassic World Dominion #Runaway Jury #It's Always Fair Weather #Margin Call #Letter From an Unknown Woman #Top Gun: Maverick #Chip ’n Dale: Rescue Rangers

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shdwtouch · 15 days

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[ Chewsday ] "Hold this," Tabitha moved to pass Shade a skull before she leaned forward and bit Shade on the shoulder hard.

Shade is, at first, caught off guard by the skull suddenly thrust into her hands, gazing down at it with surmounting confusion. then, the sensation of sharp teeth embedded in her shoulder makes her jerk her head back, her brain desperately trying to catch up with this rapid turn of events. for a few brief moments she is caught in a mental replay of what had just occurred, staring vacantly at the other tielfing with a mixed look of confusion, shock, and... amusement ? joy ?

in her head - the ranger was ever willing to give the benefit of the doubt, after all - this must be a game, something friends do. and if this was a game, was a ritual of mutual trust and care, then she wanted to participate as well ! without skipping a further beat, she reaches out and lightly grasps the others hand, closing the distance to let teeth meet flesh, though not as harshly as Tabitha had bitten her.

withdrawing (skull still held aloft in her free hand, her curiosity at its story and origin for the moment cast aside in pursuit of this new social greeting) she smiles brightly at the druid, pleased with her inclusion in the game and her own quick response.

#bubblybabins #《 ° inbox 》 we just got a letter ! i wonder who its from ?#《 ° universe 》 companion ; ranger of the shadowlands #shade just ???? then :D !!!#if you told shade biting was a love language she would 11/10 invest in that no questions asked

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girlwonderofficial · 1 year

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Hey,

I hope things are okay and that your girl’s found her way back to you. I don’t know how she’ll react to the things she’s missed (a lot’s happened and I think she might lose it) but l know that she’s got you so I’m sure that everything will be okay. I wish I knew what happened to her, and where she had gone. I feel like that whole mess was my fault and it feels pretty shitty that I wasn’t able to make things right.

I’m safe, I’m okay, I’m back home where I belong with my team, my…my Peter. Peter’s been great since I got back from the team. He’s been worried and I don’t blame him. But I don’t want to lead with fear anymore. Being away and trapped in the Grid for as long as I was gone felt like much longer than it was and I don’t know if I could ever make him understand how close I was to my fear, how much time I had spent with it, how much it drove me to survive so that I could find my way back to him.

Sorry about your sister and I’m extra sorry that your support system wasn’t there for you when you found out. But I know that everything happens for a reason and that you’ll be stronger for it. I hope me and Peter can get there someday. I’m just so used to figuring things out on my own. I need to just surrender and trust him. That’s on me. He’s been nothing but amazing, and he doesn’t give himself enough credit.

Thinking about you.

#sophie marsh: true blue #true blue in pink #power rangers let there be thunder: oops lightspeed rescue crossover #ryan mitchell x sophie marsh: the light in the darkness #with love from sophie #true blue extras #the book of unsent letters

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rolanpilled · 5 months

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BG3 Patch 5 Spoilers

WARNING: BG3 SPOILERS AHEAD!

New content from the ending scene of BG3. This is all from the perspective of a redeemed Dark Urge who romanced Shadowheart and Halsin, and recruited every "good" ally possible.

people at the party: all your companions, scratch, owlbear, volo, and a bard in the middle playing a song (his name is milil)

lae'zel is the only one who isn't here physically, she sent an astral projection instead because she's been busy fighting vlaakith

astarion explains why he ran away (ashamed) when the sunlight hit him, he's become a "hero" who adventures and has accepted himself

(romanced halsin) you can hug halsin, he's missed his friends and you. you can do both the hug and the kiss, it's really sweet. he's turned the shadowlands into a community, repursing reithwin and moonrise towers into homes for people

jaheira's daughter rejoined the flaming fist, she's been working on rebuilding the harper network. the upper city was entirely destroyed by the battle but has been mostly rebuilt. she jokes that you might be a parent soon

wyll gives you a choice between three stories, a stegosaur/dinosaur battle, an impossible lich, or a young dragon. he lost his warlock powers but has been managing the best he can, and has become a RANGER ("a true hunter of monsters"). duke ravengard is commanding the flaming fist and help rebuilding the city, and he's very proud of his son

minsc and boo guard the streets while jaheira is "occupied with harperish manners". they "went to give a tickle" to the zhentarim, then got locked up in a zhentish cell, awaiting execution? idk if i'm reading incorrectly but he seems to be implying that he actually GOT executed but withers brought him back just in time lmfao

gale has become "professor gale dekarios of blackstaff academy, educator of the esteemed school of illusion". tara is with him. he surrended the crown of karsus to mystra, who cured him of the orb in exchange (his tattoo is gone), though his students still think he's explosive (he implies that he uses it as a threat to keep his class under control). he tells his students about your adventures together. he also implies you're welcome to visit his tower

shadowheart (main romance) - the game told me that we settled down together to live a happy, peaceful life on a farm in the countryside. shar still hurts her (if parents are saved), especially when she can sense that SH is enjoying herself, but it's been getting less frequent because she's been "losing interest". there's a new hug and kiss scene for her too, so i'm assuming this is for ALL companions and not just halsin/SH/whoever

withers will speak to you about karlach, explaining that she won't be able to come back. he jokes about her, which is rare for him, and you're given to opportunity to grieve her loss. in "a dozen tendays" (assumedly how long bg3 is), "an entire life was lived, she lived several centuries" (not exact quote).

milil, the bard playing in the center, does NOT want to be there. he's pissed that no one recognizes him (he's pissed specifically that i'm a bard and don't recognize him), i had to pass a deception check to recognize him and he cheered up and offered to change the song he's playing

there's a chest called "Chest of Grateful Words" filled with letters from your allies!

"Official Guild Letter"

"Letter from Barcus"

"Letter from Art"

"Letter from Valeria"

"Letter from Ravengard"

"Letter from Sebastian"

"Letter from Florrick"

"Letter from the Gur" (unascended Astarion)

"Letter from Alfira" (durge, killed quil grootslang)

"Letter from Dammon"

"Letter from Elminster"

"Letter from Nocturne"

"Letter from Voss"

"Letter from Hope"

"Letter from Mayrina"

"Letter from Nine-Fingers"

"Letter from Zevlor"

"Harp-stamped Letter"

Baldur's Mouth Gazette

If you find anything interesting I missed, please let me know.

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turcott3 · 2 months

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good looking

matt rempe x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, fluff, kissing, pet names

oh my good looking boy…

masterlist

“matt?” you call out as you hear your apartment door shut from your bed. you heard keys drop in the bowl and that answered your suspicion. the rangers had just lost the day prior and he was just coming back home.

“matt?” you ask again, getting out of bed walking out into your living room, “baby?”

“i’m home.” he smiles, revealing the flowers he’d bought for you on his short trip from the airport.

“awe matty you didn’t have to.” you frown sweetly at the gesture, taking the flowers from his hands.

“i wanted to, i missed you.” the brunette says lowly, towering over you. you noted the stitches in his nose. his face a little swollen from his fight last night that he’d unfortunately fallen short in.

“i missed you too.” you reply as he leans down kissing you gently on the lips.

“you go get settled, i’ll take care of these fucking gorgeous flowers and dinner, okay?” you say running a careful finger over the cut on his face which he winced slightly at the touch.

“okay.” he smiled lightly.

“looks like he got you good.” you giggled.

“yeah well can’t win em all. i was exhausted.” he sighs.

“i’ll step in next time, can’t let em beat up my good looking boy.” you smile sweetly, placing a light hand on his cheek.

“would you still love me even if my face gets pounded? entirely theoretical by the way.” he giggles lightly.

“yes matt, i would. even when you had a broken nose and black eyes you were still the most handsome man i’ve ever laid my eyes on.” you reply with no hesitation as he lifts you off the ground in a hug.

“god i love you.” he says placing a kiss on your head, “i’m gonna unpack, when i’m done i’ll come help you with dinner, okay baby?”

“okay, no rush.” you say as he kisses you one last time before dragging his bags into your bedroom. you start dinner with a huge smile on your face. the way he made you feel was, undeniably, the feeling of true love. the way you get butterflies every time he walks in the room, the sweet gestures such as giving you flowers or a writing you a letter and left it for you when he leaves for morning practice. it all made you grow more and more in love with him everyday. you didn’t know how you could possibly be more in debt to him even though he did it out of the kindness of his heart, not to get something back from you.

“let me take over. go change, i got you something.” he says sneaking up behind you, placing delicate hands on your waist and leaning his head in the crook of your neck.

“just stir it every now and then.” you reply kissing him on the cheek and escaping his grasp, quickly walking to your bedroom. laid out on the bed was a satin pajama set, the exact one you’ve been talking about since you saw it at the mall at least a month ago.

“he remembered.” you scoff, your heart growing warm. you quickly discard your clothes, changing into the silky satin of your new pajamas. you looked at yourself in the mirror, loving the way it complimented your skin tone. confidently, you walked back out into the kitchen.

“matthew rempe.” you say startling him.

“what happened?”

“are you serious? i’ve been talking about these for so long and you remembered?” you say as a smile grows on his face.

“well yeah, of course i did.”

“oh thank you thank you thank you. i love them so much.” you say walking over to him quickly wrapping your arms around him. soon enough you were enveloped in his large, loving arms once again.

“i’m glad, you look beautiful.” he giggles.

“dishes are done.” matt smiles waltzing into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

“can i take a look at the cut on your face?” you ask, stopping him in his tracks.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to-“

“no come on,” you say throwing the covers off of you. he takes a seat on the closed toilet lid and separates his legs for you to stand between. you take your place between his legs taking his face into your hands and brush his hair out of the way. his arms find their way around your legs, holding you lightly in place. you scanned the cut, noting that they had simply stitched him up and sent him on his way.

“they really stitched you up and sent you back out didn’t they?” you ask.

“yeah.”

“hold one second, i just want to clean it and put a bandaid on it so it doesn’t look so gnarly.” you say, tapping his arm to let you go. you dig under the sink finding alcohol and cotton balls, as well as a bandaid.

“it’s gonna burn.” you state holding the soaked cotton ball.

“try me.” he simply replied and you shrug pressing it straight onto the cut. his grip on your legs tightened and he clenched his eyes shut at the contact.

“okay just kidding.” he says, clearly in pain.

“i told you honey.” you laugh pressing a kiss to the top of the boys head. you cleaned him up and perfectly placed the bandaid on top of the cut, kissing it once it was laid flat.

“much better.” you smile locking eyes with the boy, who you swear was giving you literal heart eyes.

“thank you my love.” he says kissing you delicately on the cheek before following closely behind you on your way back into the room.

“come here you big baby.” you laugh leaning your back slightly up against the headboard, waiting for the 6’7 baby to take his place on your chest, which he of course did very quickly.

“thank you for cleaning my cut and taking care of me y/n.” he says quietly as you run your fingers gently through his brown locks.

“and thank you for loving me the way you do.” he continues, leaning up to look at you.

“it’s hard not to, i’d do anything for you matt. it’s a privilege to know you, let alone love you.” you giggle

“my beautiful girl.” he sighs with a smile as he kisses you lovingly before laying his head back down on your chest carefully.

“i love you matt.” you say with your hand finding its way back into his soft hair.

“i love you so much more baby.” he replies, his hands finding their way underneath you.

“you’re about to go to sleep on me aren’t you?”you ask noticing his breathing slowing down.

“yep.” he replies quietly, allowing the sleepy boy to drift off to sleep in the comfort of your embrace.

#matt rempe #matt rempe x reader #matt rempe fluff #ny rangers #fluff #nhl imagine #turcs’ talk

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skyland2703 · 7 months

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I’m a little bit of a tube light.

I just realised that the end of cosmic fury marks the end of power rangers as we know it? And I just? Have? So many emotions about it?

I feel like crying, honestly, because this series, as a whole is such a big part of my life. I just don’t think I’m ready to say goodbye just yet…

I’m someone who hates goodbyes. But I feel like Javi’s “May the Power Protect You” didnt feel like a proper “Good bye” goodbye. It felt more like a “See you soon” goodbye, with a wink. Something feels a little… incomplete?

Honestly I’m just being emotional because I started watching this when I was twelve— this show, this fandom, all the shipping, it got me through some of the darkest moments of my life. I remember almost failing my tenth grade maths exam, and coming home to press play on that Lucas and Nadira scene where Ransik went “NOT. THE. BLUE. ONE.” And it made me smile.

I remember writing shitty SPD FanFiction to get out of suicidal dark thoughts and project my trauma onto characters, to vent. Ive spent countless minutes hours days smiling at these dumb heroes in spandex.

Ive made such amazing friends because of this fandom.

Ive waited for hours at odd hours to watch episodes airing, ive spent hours scrolling posts and making edits and even learnt digital art for these kids. I’m so. So. Emotional about all of them.

And it’s… its over? Is it really all gone? What’s the reboot? When is the reboot? What do we look forward to now?

I’m…….. not okay.

I’m probably not gonna be either.

Its just…. Its like. I have no words to actually express my emotions. But.

Here’s to thirty years of power, and thirty years to making the childhoods, teenage, and adulthoods of so, so many kids, teens, and people, amazing.

#heartfelt love letter to power rangers from Skyland <3 #power rangers #lemme go cry now

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deeranon · 1 month

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Troubling Travels | deer! Creator reader

Note: I’m kinda bad at writing fight scenes. Or…are there no fight scenes at all? :)

For @idkfitememate Hope you like it :D

╔⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤╗

Cyno cursed like his life depended on it. Tighnari was going to kill him if he ever found out about this. That was, if he made it out alive, first.

It had started out like any other day. You were happily gathering leaves and sticks for your secret little hoard(that wasn’t very secret, Tighnari knew about everything) of weapons (that were not actually weapons) to be used on Dottore if he ever thought of stepping foot anywhere near Collei or Tighnari or any Sumeru character ever. Minus the sages, they were also going to be victims of your mighty stick-hoard if you ever saw them. (Yes, you were peaceful but some things could not be forgiven.)

Tighnari had given you the nickname “ورقة الشجر الصغيرة”, little leaf, a few weeks after you had persistently stuck around even after you had healed from the treasure hoarder attack. And it stuck surprisingly well. Now, as of today, you were unofficially-but officially in the hearts of all Gandharva Ville residents—“منظم الأوراق الرسمي وجامع الأوراق الرسمي”, the official leaf organizer and collector. As a sort of celebration for your “promotion” Tighnari had asked Cyno to come visit during your “first ever official leaf collecting mission” in a letter he had sent a few weeks back. Indeed, Tighnari had planned to promote you for some time now. But it was hard keeping you distracted while they secretly set up a surprise party. But they managed to succeed in the end.

The entire village was decorated with various flower garlands(all given the green light by Tighnari) and tables were filled to the brim with tasty food for both humans and deer. People chatted animatedly with one another as they ate and danced. You were content to stand on the sidelines with Collei, eating a delicious salad while the forest rangers weaved you and their friends flower crowns. Seeing others happy made you happy.

The promotion party went well into the evening, with multiple excursions led by you to gather more fruit from the forest.(Tighnari was so proud that you remembered which fruits he told you were safe to eat and which were not) And when Cyno arrived with his ever neutral looking beautiful face, you were sure you were about to faint from happiness.

You had pranced up to him with a specially made flower bracelet just for him. Okay-YOU didn’t make it, Collei weaved it for you because trying to make a flower bracelet with hooves is hard. Sometimes, you missed your hands. But this form had its perks. Like the headpats you got and the wonderfully therapeutic back rubs when Tighnari brushed your fur for you. But you certainly deserved points for somehow communicating to your dear friend Collei that you wanted to make a bracelet for someone. The purple flowers probably helped.

Cyno looked down at your happy doe-face, or as happy as a deer could look with a deer-face. You were preening so much Cyno swore he saw sparkles emanating from you. You held the flower bracelet on the top of your fluffy head between the place where your antlers were starting to grow in. It was made of purple dahila’s and anemones, he noted before picking the bracelet up and sliding it onto his wrist.

“Thank you, little one. I promise to keep it safe.” Cyno said, slowly reaching out a cautious hand. Like Tighnari had taught him to do with stray cats and dogs. Sure, you were a deer, but it still counted, right?

In reply, you let out a giddy bleat and shoved your head underneath his calloused hand with vigor. Cyno felt his lips twitch into a smile. This wasn’t your first time meeting Cyno, but he was always so busy enforcing the law as General Mahamatra that he rarely had time to visit. So time spent with the general was special. He was happy to know you were doing well. Tighnari wrote about you in his letters frequently.

You nuzzled into his touch for a moment longer before backing away and prancing off into the festivities, stopping to look back at him with an expectant look.

Come join me!

Cyno paused before following after you. He wasn’t one for large parties but you looked so happy that he couldn’t decline. Besides, Tighnari and Collei were chilling out somewhere, so he could always go find them after hanging out with you in the core of the festivities. Maybe then he could pick up on the Genius Invocation TCG match he was having with Tighnari and Collei last time he was here. Oh, and maybe he could teach you how to play? Wouldn’t that be something.

It was nightfall now. Everyone was tuckered out from the party, fast asleep in their beds. Well, all except for two people and a deer.

“You don’t have to see me off. You should go get some rest for tomorrow.” Cyno said, adjusting the strap that held his canteen to his belt. Both you and Tighnari sighed at this.

“It’s not like we’re forcing ourselves to see you off. We want to do this. And there’s nothing you can do to change our minds.” Tighnari huffed as he crossed his arms.

You stomped your hoof in agreement. You chose to see Cyno off in the middle of the night, even though you knew you had things to clean up tomorrow. You knew how rarely you had one on one Cyno bonding time, and Cyno was one of your favorite characters in Sumeru. His bravery and strength in the heat of battle was something you saw as admirable.

Besides, you never knew when you would see Cyno next, or if he would be okay on a mission. His job was dangerous, and sometimes that made you worry. If only you could go with him…

Wait a second.

You COULD go with Cyno!

While you were connecting the dots in your head, Cyno had gotten fully ready to head off. He gave Tighnari a nod before turning his attention to you, who stood at the fox-eared male’s side with the same happy expression you had on that evening. Cyno felt his heart squeeze at the sight. He would, admittedly, miss you while he was gone. This next mission was going to be a long one.

So, he kneeled down and gave you a gentle pat on the head. You let out a bleat and shoved your head under his chin(making him bite his tongue on accident) in a makeshift hug. Now would have been a nice time to have hands. But you were never one to complain much. Cyno gave a small smile and rubbed your back before starting to pull away. It was time for him to leave.

With a final delightful scratch behind your large fluffy deer ears, Cyno stood and started to walk away.

Only, he wasn’t alone.

You followed after him with a happy pep in your trot.

Cyno paused. Tighnari tried not to laugh. You shimmered like you had never shimmered before.

Cyno sighed and shook his head before pointing to the ground and stating “stay.” in his best commanding voice. Internally, Cyno knew it was futile attempting to order a deer around, when it obviously wasn’t going to understand him. You stared at him innocently. Cyno took it as a sign to start walking again. Only for you to follow(again).

This repeated multiple times. (Tighnari almost burst a lung from laughter, exhaustion was clearly getting to the usually calm and collected fox ranger)

“I think they want to go with you, Cyno.” Tighnari finally said. Cyno stared at Tighnari.

“Yes. I don’t think I noticed.” He huffed. You let out another call and ran circles around Cyno’s legs with excitement, and Cyno felt his heart soften. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to come with him, it was just that the desert was an incredibly dangerous place. Especially since you had no natural defenses. Not to mention your fur. You would bake like an egg on the sidewalk in the middle of a heatstroke in a matter of minutes. Cyno knew this, because Tighnari had the exact same problem. And he didn’t want to see you suffer.

Yet you seemed adamant about staying with him. Both could see that. Cyno didn’t know what to do. Should he find a way to keep you with Tighnari? Or let you follow him into the lonely desert?

Tighnari took Cyno’s silence as his cue to become the voice of reason. “I am not one for old tales, but it’s been said for hundreds of years that animals have an innate sense of danger. A sixth sense, even. Or sometimes called premonition. Whatever you want to call it, having a companion that can sense danger early on could be an invaluable asset to your missions, Cyno.” Cyno didn’t seem fully convinced. So Tighnari continued with a bit more seriousness than before. “Deer have around 297 million olfactory receptors, meaning their nose is better than any human’s or dog’s. Their eyes are also better than a human’s at night—and they detect movement faster than people, too. Deer can also hear high frequency sounds, and can move both ears in different directions at the same time. These assets are perfect for helping to track down thieves and rouges. And I’m positive you already know how intelligent little leaf is. Their level of understanding is basically unheard of.”

Cyno nodded, but his face was blank. “I know. But the desert is unforgiving to all. I’m just skeptical about how they might respond to the temperatures of the desert. I wouldn’t want them getting hurt if they can’t fight back.” You were after all, a deer. Sure, you had multiple advantages over Cyno in tracking abilities but you were still considered prey. It was a reasonable thought.

After all, how could they know that you were a human isekai’ed into a deer’s body?

But you were determined to go with Cyno. You rubbed your head into his legs pleadingly. As if to send the message that you would be alright.

Cyno instinctively ran his calloused hand through the fur on your neck, making you preen at the attention. You could tell he was standing on the edge of agreement. He just needed one last nudge.

“Let’s put it this way. I put the little leaf under your care and protection while in the desert so that you can help me record their reactions and adaptability in a different environment. They are, after all, an unknown species of deer. No deer recorded has natural markings like theirs in any document ever, so it’s imperative that we find out as much as we can about them so that we can learn more.” Tighnari reasoned, pointing to your lush furry coat that Cyno was carding through at that very moment. And he was correct. You did have a unique design. (Description below is optional)

Small splotches that looked almost like stars littered your neck and spine, with two small white diamond-like teardrops touching the corner of your eyes. Your eyes were more focused, like there was an actual thought going on inside your head instead of the soul devouring gaze a deer usually had. Your ears were fluffy and faded in an ombre fashion to an almost unnatural pitch black colour, as did your fluffy tail-except it faded to a snowy white. There was even a white four pointed star like the ones you see on a compass rose in the middle of your fluffy forehead.

Safe to say, you didn’t exactly look like a normal deer. “They could very well be the last of their kind, or they lost their parcel in some kind of accident before Collei and I found them. Whatever the case, we need more information to understand how we can help little leaf in the best way possible. Like putting protective laws up to keep them from harm.” Tighnari finished. And that seemed to convince Cyno immediately.

“Alright. I’ll bring them with me. And I swear on my life to keep them safe.” Cyno promised with a solemn nod. Tighnari huffed as he crossed his arms, smile barely hidden.

“You better. Now get going before I change my mind.” Tighnari snapped, making a ‘shoo’ motion with his hand. Cyno stood and gave another nod of respect before turning around and walking out of Gandharva Ville with you at his side. Just as you both walked out of earshot, and out of Tighnari’s sight, he murmured “Stay safe…” before turning around and heading for his hut. So that he could sleep his worries away.

And also because it was past midnight.

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

You watched silently as Cyno set up camp behind a large rock that would block out most of the piercing grains of sand flying in the wind. It has been six days since you set off with the general mahamatra into the endless desert. And night was starting to fall. Which meant possible bandit attacks or wild animal attacks. Or maybe a mix of both. It was hard to tell these things before they happened. Minus bandit attacks. Cyno eliminated any human trouble before you could even catch a glimpse of the ruffians.

The wind howled ferociously at both you and Cyno, who seemed unfazed at the sand trying to stab into his eyes and turn him blind. And yet you almost didn’t feel the screaming wind yourself. Probably because of your wonderous coat of fur. Hopefully it wouldn’t be a headache to brush out later. It would add to Cyno’s work, which was already a hassle itself. Curse your lack of hands(once again). You watched as the sun slowly set and the sands cooled before your eyes, giving you reprieve from the sweltering heat. You were just glad you hadn’t grown your winter coat yet. That would have been a nightmare.

The night rose, eclipsing the golden sky as Cyno finished setting up the tent. Yet something felt off. Like when you glance at a picture and then leave, only to return and realize something is different about it but you can’t tell what it is. It was an unsettling feeling in the back of your head that wouldn’t go away.

Cyno seemed to feel it as well, his gaze was dead set on the hills of sand. You stared out at the vast sea, ears perked and swiveling like satellites. But there was nothing odd that you could sense, only the rising wind. You sniffed at the air next. Immediately your nose was rushed with a million different scents, all leading to something different than the last. It had greatly confused you when you first awoke to so many new smells, but over time it became easier to sort them out. Now, your nose was a valuable tool.

And right now, the air crackled with the scent of rain.

You let out a sigh of both relief and disappointment before trotting through the tarp entrance of the tent. Cyno continued to stare at the dunes with an unnerving gaze before turning to follow you inside. But not before grabbing his pike and surveying the area protectively. Just to make sure.

The wind was so angry and wild that you were almost certain your ears were going to bleed out. The rain had arrived with the sandstorm an hour after Cyno had managed to set the camp tent up, meaning you were both lucky enough to not get absolutely clobbered by the bullet-like water droplets.

You could hear nothing but the persistent rain and the raging wind of the midnight storm.

And that meant you couldn’t hear the footsteps approaching with each clap of thunder.

But Cyno knew every trick in the book. Nothing would escape his senses. Not when he had someone important to protect with him. You blearily watched as he tightened his grip on his weapon from where he sat with your fuzzy head in his lap, drowsy from exhaustion. He gently lifted your head from his legs, trading them out for the second of two blankets he had packed for the journey.

Next thing you knew, Cyno was rushing out of the tent like it had been set on fire.

Your mind was hazy from what little sleep you had mustered, so his reaction didn’t fully compute in your brain for multiple minutes before you rushed to your shaky legs. Having four legs instead of two had certainly been a challenge at first, and still was when you weren’t focused or completely energized. So you couldn’t help but berate yourself silently as you wobbled like a drunkard ready to pass out before you made it to the tent flap.

Outside, Cyno was fighting three mercenaries dressed in red in the rain at once. All had sun kissed skin and brownish-black hair, but they used different weapons, meaning Cyno had to duel three different battles all at once. One used a spear, the second had a crossbow with odd smelling arrows, while the third held a metal axe so big you were convinced it better belonged with a mitachurl.

Cyno swung his pizza paddle polearm through the air like it was an extension of himself, blocking a heavy swing coming from the axe-wielder with the shaft of his weapon that glowed amber in the dark night. A whistle sounded through the air as an arrow shot through the sky, bringing its horribly odd scent with it.

You watched, mortified at the realization that Cyno might get hit with what you now realized was an arrow tipped in poison. Time seemed to slow as Cyno turned his head at the sound of the arrow whistling while simultaneously swinging at the axe-wielder and striking him in his chest, ripping through the man’s skin like it was butter. The large man crumpled to the sand. But that wasn’t the end. Just as the arrow was about to strike Cyno’s shoulder, he let out a growl and electro crackled through the air.

“Futile!”

Cyno lunged forward and snapped the arrow into a thousand tiny pieces before leaping at the crossbow user and kicking the weapon out of his hands.

The man let out a yelp that turned into a scream as large bolts of bright purple lightning wracked his body. Cyno was holding the man’s shoulder in an iron grip, using himself like a taser. The male let out a final wail before he slumped over, either dead or unconscious.

For a single second, all was silent.

Then, there was a war cry piercing the air. The third man, the one with the spear, had jumped from the top of a rock and was plummeting down to Cyno with murderous intent.

But Cyno was not fazed.

“Your sins weigh upon your soul!”

There was a sudden explosion of light around Cyno as his vision burned bright in the endless pitch black night. His body was swathed in glowing purple binds that circled and looped into large claw-like hands sharper than any dagger or sword. Runes in an ancient unknown language were burned into the glowing cloth that snaked around his arms. The headpiece glowed with the same runes as eyes, now open and uncovered, shone with golden light. An ominous had aura surrounded Cyno as he called for the divine spirit to indwell him. Now, that aura turned into furious electricity that snapped and swatted at its enemies.

The man with the spear screamed as an elongated electro arm of Pactsworn Pathclearer reached out and grabbed him from mid air. He tried to use his spear to pierce the hand that held him, but it merely broke into minuscule shards the moment it even grazed the claws. In retaliation, it’s grip tightened significantly before it flung the man to the ground, where his head hit a rock with a sickening crack.

And just like that, the battle was over. Three bodies laid in the sand, defeated. There were no more attackers left for Cyno to defeat.

Or at least, that’s what Cyno thought in the second he had let his guard down. Electro fizzling out around him.

You knew otherwise.

Ten more figures emerged from beyond the dunes.

But you were more worried about the sniper with poison tipped arrows and a bow who was aiming right for Cyno at that very moment.

With a bleat, you rushed up the cliff side faster than you had ever run before. Rain still pelleted you like knives as thunder rumbled in the sky high above you. But you continued to run.

The sniper drew the bowstring to the tip of his mouth.

You scrambled to the top of the cliff on shaky legs, making a mad dash for the archer who was so incredibly focused on aiming he didn’t even notice the sound of your pounding hooves as they kicked up sand. Your body hidden in the blackness of night. He would never see you coming.

Cyno stood below, head whipping around as he looked for you frantically. The moon was halfway to approaching midnight but it was already almost pitch black. The rain was no help, either.

The best thing Cyno could do right now is focus on the incoming targets. Their footsteps against the sand were in no way trying to be hidden, and the sickening feeling Cyno was sensing set him on edge.

Cyno’s mind was a flurry of different emotions, but if he wanted to stay alive long enough to look for you and complete his mission, he had to focus on the fight in front of him. So he readied his spear and crouched, gathering all the energy he could into his legs as the waited for the enemies to strike.

Just like Cyno expected, they lunged for him with weapons in hand in a consecutive attack. But Cyno was more than ready. After all, what kind of general mahamatra would he be if he couldn’t defeat ten people? Admittedly, he had never fought ten on one at the same time before and in almost total darkness while it stormed heavily. But there was a first time for everything, right?

The sniper smirked, homing in on his target with horrid mirth twinkling in his eyes. His comrades had surrounded Cyno in a circle, caging him in as he jumped from one fight to another. Though many were beaten and bruised, it did not matter if they fell. For they were merely a distraction so that he may make the shot that would end the wretched general mahamatra Cyno once and for all. His heart beat giddily in his ears as his fingers started to loosen their grip on the poison tipped arrow aimed right at Cyno’s heart.

Though it will not be beating for much longer his mind purred.

Pure thrill pulsed through his veins as he his fingers slowly slip from the bowstring. His heart beat spiked just as his fingers slid from the string, only to let out a mighty howl of pain as something crashed into his shoulder, sending him teetering on the cliff face, his right hand flailing and his toes grazed air. There was a snap as the bowstring thrummed against whatever crashed into him with such force. He let out a colourful string of curses when he realized his aim had been jarred into missing Cyno’s heart.

So when he looked down at the perpetrator:

he saw a deer.

His rage increased tenfold and he let out a furious yowl, gripping onto the creature’s neck as it rushed at him once again. It cried out as they both went careening off the edge of a tall cliff. But the man only smiled manically.

If he could not kill his target, he would take with him the life that tried to protect it. Even if it meant meeting his end.

“NO!”

There was a cry, but it was swept into the whistling wind.

There was a sharp pain in the back of his head.

Then, everything went dark.

Cyno huffed, glaring at the mercenaries with cold eyes as he tightened his grip on his polearm once again. Rain had somehow made it past his visor and onto his face, but he couldn’t care less.

He readied himself to fight once again when there was a loud scream echoing through the desert.

Only seconds after, an arrow shot through the air.

Slicing off Cyno’s bracelet of flowers.

There was another cry. But it was inhuman. Cyno whipped around, heart racing as his eyes caught sight of a man dragging you off of a cliff so high he knew there was likely no chance you were going to survive the fall alive.

“NO!” He screamed, rushing forward. Maybe he could catch you before you hit the ground. But it was futile. The ring of mercenaries would not let him leave.

His wrist felt horribly bare without the bracelet there to occupy it.

Cyno cursed like his life depended on it. Tighnari was going to kill him if he ever found out about this. That was, if he made it out alive, first.

You closed your teary eyes tight as you and the man’s body tumbled through the air. The wind screamed and thunder wailed, and for a split second you could hear nothing. Everything around you was surely passing in a blur.

This was going to hurt. A lot. If you even made it out alive. But what could you do to stay alive and keep the man from getting killed? You didn’t mean to push him off the cliff!

Time seemed to slow as your mind rushed to think of any possible solution. But only scraps of a plan formed.

Whatever!

There isn’t enough time to plan!

Do something before you both die!

So you opened your eyes and winged it.

You bunched your limbs close to your chest and then kicked them straight into the insane man’s chest, making him wheeze but also sending him crashing into a miraculously small ledge head first.

You were accidentally sent flying into the open mouth of a large cave from the force you had put into the kick. A searing pain ripped into your shoulder as you started to loose altitude and fall to the cave floor. A rock had sliced your shoulder open, leaving a blood stain on the rock and a small waterfall of blood trickling down your fur. You let out a cry of pain as you tumbled into the ground blanketed by a thin layer of sand.

You were beaten, but you were alive! Hooray!

The world outside of the cave raged with almost killer intent as the storm grew worse and lightning started to strike as the wind screamed. It was best to stay in the cave until it cooled over, you wisely decided.

You lifted your head at the sound of rumbling from further within the cave, making your ears swivel and your nose twitch. If there was something dangerous deeper in the cave you would rather take your chances with the storm outside.

But all you could smell was the faint scent of dried herbs and burnt fire wood. Which wasn’t very normal for a cave at all. You knew it would be a better idea to stay near the mouth of the cave, but you were injured and your fur was uncomfortably wet and all you wanted at the moment was something to warm yourself up while you waited for the storm to end so that you could look for Cyno.

So with a great heave, you lifted yourself onto your four wobbly legs and adventured deeper into the cave. Your shoulder throbbed with spite as you moved, but you ignored it and continued on.

You limped through a long tunnel filled with iron ore and an unlit stove ,as well as crystals of all colours, making you silently awe at the sight as you passed into a wide cavern filled with luscious green trees and red vultures that hopped branch to branch. Rocks mysteriously started to float in the air the further you walked into the great cavern. As did a bright white light.

By the time you had reached the far end of the cavern, the light was almost blinding. You squinted to make out anything but the tunnel branching deeper into the earth would not yet reveal its secrets to you.

There was another rumble.

The scent of dried herbs grew stronger the longer you stood in front of the glowing tunnel, too nervous to move. A distant feeling of familiarity tickled the back of your mind as your eyes darted around the area nervously. The vultures seemed ignorant as the ground shook, so surely there was no danger nearby. You took a shaky hoof-step back as the walls started to tremble as well. Your ears went flat as you glanced back to the tunnel from whence you came.

Should you leave?

But you could still hear the roar of thunder outside, meaning the storm had yet to stop. No. You could end up getting killed in the storm if you weren’t careful. And your wound still throbbed. It was best to stay in the cave. Though maybe you should just stay near the entrance. Yes, that sounded like a good idea.

You turned your head back around only to be greeted with a long snout sniffing at your fur where the tunnel should have been.

You let out a bleat of surprise and jumped several feet in the air, heart racing.

Then, it hit you.

This was the tunnel to Apep’s den.

And right before you was Apep. Or—it’s head, at least. The tunnel was much too small for its large serpentine-like body to fully fit through.

Oh. So Apep was the one giving off the dried herb smell. That…made sense, actually.

Apep stared down at you with its large glowing eyes that lit up the earth in a gentle glow.

“It has been quite a long time since I have last seen you, Mother. I am overjoyed to know that you are alive and well after all this time.” Apep said, voice gentle and lulling. A stark contrast to what you had heard from behind a screen.

You could only stand shocked, unable to think.

Apep stared at your frozen form with a sad gaze, sighing through it’s nose sadly(if that was even possible). “Ah, I see you do not remember. But that is to be expected after all that happened back then.” Apep paused to lower it’s head to the ground and nudge your furry cheek gently with it’s own. “You are the Creator of Teyvat. So you are Divine Mother of all. Though how I see it, only the mighty dragons like myself should be allowed to call you Mother. For we were the first. But perhaps your tastes have changed over the time you were gone. Shall I call you Divine One, one of your many titles?”

Apep’s words barely made sense to you right now. But one thing you knew very well.

Apep had called you the divine creator of Teyvat.

But truly, you wanted nothing more than to just be called by your name. No tittle needed. Maybe it was because Apep’s words had yet to sink in or you didn’t wish to be put upon a pedestal. Or maybe because you were a truly kind being to all. (This was really starting to feel like one of the SAGAU! fanfictions you liked to read in your free time) (and also because you didn’t want Arlechino to come after you)

But how were you going to get that across to Apep?

You let out a bleat.

The lights all along Apep’s sides glowed in recognition as it’s eyes somehow grew kinder and happier.

“I understand. That is a lovely name. May I truly be allowed to call you by it?” Apep said. You nodded. You would like nothing more than for Apep to call your by name. “Very well. Now, how is it that we have come to meet after all this time?”

And so, you told Apep everything that happened in the past week.

And it had some very strong words to say about some things. But Apep promised that once the storm passed it would make sure you reunited with Cyno.

And you did. Cyno did not physically show the worry on his face but he never let you out of his sight for the rest of the mission. Even as he dragged an unconscious rouge researcher behind him with an iron grip.

It was also safe to say, Cyno got a good scolding from Tighnari when you returned to Gandharva Ville.

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#genshin impact #deer #deer anon #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau x reader #tighnari #cyno #cynonari #collei #genshin apep #Apep #creator #creator!reader #deer! creator #this took way too long #how many words is this?#hope I did well

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