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#lawrence got out of the bathroom and 9 11 happened
tibby · 1 year
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hey tibby, i got two questions about saw for you. firstly, when do you think the saw movies take place? like what specific year/s? i know theres a few writing errors when it comes to years in the franchise (the tag on jigsaw’s foot at the autopsy, for example) so i’m just trying to see what would make sense despite these errors.
also. what would the spiral killers role be in Jigsaw the family sitcom (more important than the other question)
i am a firm "saw the first movie takes place in 2004" believer. yeah yeah the idea of it happening the day before 9/11 is funny but it doesn't work with the few established dates we do have (gideon night takes place in late october of 2006, hoffman's sister is murdered in 1997 and baxter is released from prison after five years which makes hoffman's revenge kill and recruitment from john in 2002 at the EARLIEST, trying to include a coherent timeline of events by including jigsaw is impossible but fwiw logan was in the iraq war. i think. i don't remember the movie). also the idea that amanda and john manually set up the phone to that date just to fuck with them is also very funny to me. and my research suggests that the motorola used was released in q4 of 2001, which means it came out in october at the earliest. but nothing is conclusive and i respect all walks of life etc etc.
generally though from the time amanda is recruited (april 2004, because i do believe bathroom trap takes place in september regardless of the year and lawrence mentions being interviewed by police five months prior) through to the end of the final chapter (late 2006) it's like a 2.5 year time frame. nerve gas house takes place at least a year after bathroom trap, gideon night is six months after nerve gas house, and the events of v/vi/vii shortly follow. again, no canon confirmation, but given strahm's throat is still bandaged in v we can assume his tracheotomy wasn't that long ago and he dies like the day after being discharged from the hospital. and then hoffman's vi/vii clownery is like two nights back to back. so that's that. early to mid 2000s over a three year time period.
unfortunately the spiral killers don't really play a big role in jigsaw the sitcom simply because it takes place like 15-20 years later. which is a tragedy because i think jigsaw fanboy william emmerson/schenk having the worst "don't meet your heroes" experience of all time only to not learn from it is hilarious to me. i did vaguely conceptualise an episode where he starts his silly little copycat killings and they have to come out of retirement to trap his ass because oh now we gotta be responsible for this clown. and william really does think it's an honour that a bunch of middle aged retired murderers have reunited just to torture him.
my beloved dizzy did write a fic about this concept (not sitcom nonsense but adam/amanda/hoffman live and william loves team maim and kill). unfortunately my concept of retired-but-still-completely-off-their-rockers hoffstrahm (they're NOT dating and they're absolutely NOT married and strahm is still trying to prove hoffman is guilty and hoffman still plans on killing him one day but they do live together and have weird gay sex and are trying to figure out how to get married for tax benefits without actually getting married) having a honey where IS my supersuit moment from the incredibles about the glass coffin didn't make the cut. but we can imagine it <3
they also all try to impart "queer elder wisdom" (see: absolutely horrendous dating tips) onto william to help him with zeke. unfortunately he takes their word as gospel. hence the whole "torturing you and sending you body parts" stage of the flirting process. it's dawning on me that this message is completely incomprehensible i'm sorry. missed saying absolute nonsense about these movies to a public audience.
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sodone-withlife · 3 years
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glass is fragile
Criminal Minds Fic Part Two
| PART 1 | PART 2 |
Word Count: 5.4k
Warnings: implied character death
Notes: cross-posted on Ao3. this is the result of a random idea I had because while I love Hotchniss, I love the idea of the two meeting in college and keeping in contact with Hotch being an overprotective brother
fortuna vitrea est; tum cum splendet frangitur  (fortune is glass; just when it gleams brightest it shatters) - Publilius Syrus
“I’ve got five names on the bottom of the list Prentiss gave us,” Morgan said, walking towards the case board. “Luke Renault, Lawrence Riley, Lyla Rafferty, Lyle Rogers, Landon Raines.”
“All with the initials L.R.” Seaver pointed out.
“The CIA uses cryptograms like that to assign non-official cover agents working the same case,” Hotch remarked.
“So do other foreign countries,” Morgan added. “These last five names are covers—spies,” he said, pointing at the document.
“Wait,” Garcia said, taking the document. “No, this isn’t right,” she said, pointing at the page. “Do you see this space? That shouldn’t be here.”
“Could it be a formatting error?” Reid asked.
“No, this is a spreadsheet template,” Garcia answered. “Formatting doesn’t allow for this, there’s a missing name on here.”
“It’s another spy whose cover is L.R.” Hotch said quietly, looking to the elevator and mentally preparing to give the looming long-winded explanation.
“‘Lauren Reynolds is dead,’” Reid said aloud behind him.
“What?” Hotch turned around in shock, having not heard that name spoken aloud in years.
“‘Lauren Reynolds is dead,’” Reid repeated, “Prentiss said that on a phone call seventeen days ago, but her intonation wasn’t surprise or grief, it was like a mantra, like she was reminding herself.”
As Reid continued talking, Hotch pulled out his phone and dialed her number, hoping like hell his hunch about what she's doing is just that—a hunch.
“If Prentiss is the last name on that list, she’s on Doyle’s list, too,” Seaver said.
Hotch followed the sound of a ringtone to Emily’s desk and opened the first drawer. “Guys,” he cut into the team’s discussion, holding the gun and badge she’d left behind out for them to see.
“She left her badge and gun? Why would she do that?” Morgan asked, confused. Hotch placed them back down and grabbed his other phone, pulling up his messages.
<< It’s T, isn’t it.
>>He’s going after us, he’s threatened the others.
<<Blackbird.
<<Where are you?
<<What are you doing?
>>I’m sorry.
“That doesn’t make sense,” Reid turned back to the others, uncomprehending. “Why run? We’re her family, we can help.”
“Doyle’s killing families,” Rossi pointed out in realization. “She’s not married, not close to relatives—”
“Last night, Doyle verbally threatened to kill us,” Hotch said, looking up as his worry for Emily’s safety returned in full force.
“How do you know that?” Morgan asked suspiciously. In response, Hotch held out his phone and played the recording Emily had sent over last night.
“Aaron, Doyle mentioned all of us except you. Why?” Rossi asked, noting the distinct lack of any threat directed at the unit chief. Hotch didn’t answer, looking out through the glass doors towards the elevators. The others followed his line of sight.
“JJ?” Garcia stood up and dashed over to the long-missed blonde, who was standing in the doorway.
“I’ve called the State Department for permission to have someone come over and shed light on Emily’s past. Officially, I can’t tell you anything,” Hotch told the profilers who were staring in shock, “but JJ can.”
~~~
“Okay, so I talked to a friend from Langley, he couldn’t give me Emily’s full CIA history, but he could give me this,” JJ said, turning to the TV screen. “She assumed the identity of Lauren Reynolds as part of a special task force called JTF-12.”
“I heard about them,” Rossi remarked, “They were profiling terrorists, weren’t they?”
“Yeah,” JJ answered. “Assembled after 9/11, CIA and Western agencies contributed their ‘best and brightest’.”
“But serial killers and terrorists have different personality traits,” Seaver pointed out.
“How does Doyle fit in?” Reid asked.
“He was their last case,” JJ said, “and now the JTF is on his hit list.”
“Jeremy Wolff was victim number one, from Germany’s BND,” she began, focusing on the pictures on the screen. “Sean McAlister at Interpol was the second and was the one who brought the JTF in on Doyle. He was murdered last week in Brussels with his wife and daughter,” JJ said softly, flicking a brief look at Hotch, who had squashed down his reaction.
“Tsia Mosely of France’s DCRI—she got engaged to Jeremy earlier this year and fled here when he died,” JJ continued and sent another look at Hotch, who took a breath and steeled himself for the barrage of accusations and questions he was sure to get.
His picture appeared on the screen.
“Hotch?” They turned to look at him in confused shock.
“It wasn’t my prerogative to tell you,” he moved around the table and took the remote from JJ, looking at the other profilers. “None of you had the clearance for this, and there wasn’t time between the numerous phone calls I had to make in order to get JJ back here.”
“I understand you have questions, but we need to focus on Emily,” he said firmly, turning to the screen. “Clyde Easter of the British SIS was the leader. I’ve talked to him over the phone twice and he was in DC last I heard, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of him since Tsia’s murder.”
“You were involved in the Doyle case?” Rossi asked. Are you safe? went unasked but was heard by everyone.
“I’m well aware of the danger I am in,” Hotch said, “but if I’m right, he’s going to be too fixated on Emily to care much about me, though I’ve had precautions in place since we first found out he escaped.”
“Did you ever make any arrests? Maybe that’s why he’s after you?”
“No, the host countries always took care of that and we just moved onto the next case. Given the shadowy nature of terrorist cells, we were mostly involved in infiltration.”
“Who was undercover on Doyle?” Reid asked.
“Emily,” JJ answered.“She posed as another weapons dealer and met him in Boston to get intel on Valhalla.” JJ paused, looking at Hotch apprehensively.
He took over, knowing what she was hung up on. “The recon we did on Doyle included a background on all of his previous romantic relationships, and… ” he trailed off, hesitating, “she’s exactly his type.”
~~~
“Prissy, where the hell are you?”
“Oh, is that worry that I hear, Iceman?”
“Blackbird’s in Boston, isn’t she.”
“Is that a question?”
~~~
“Emily walked into a trap,” Garcia said shakily, pointing at the screen. “It looks like Doyle got into the SUV, but from this angle, you can see that he didn’t, which I wish Boston PD would have told me before I started watching it.” She looked at the others apologetically. “Sorry again for the screaming.”
“She threw a flash-bang grenade into a car,” Morgan said incredulously. “She’s lucky the three people inside didn’t die. Is anybody else bothered by that?”
“Well, three bad guys,” Rossi pointed out.
“Illegal as it is, when you’re dealing with the likes of Doyle, who has nothing to lose,” Hotch said softly, staring into space, “you have to be as ruthless as he is and act the same way.”
“So how did Doyle know she was waiting for him?” Rossi asked.
“Well, the mole must have told him, right?” JJ suggested. “The same guy who’s been feeding Doyle the contractors and agents?”
“And our best suspect was just arrested with a suitcase full of cash,” Seaver said.
“Let me take care of Prissy—Clyde,” Hotch amended when the nickname garnered him strange looks. “The rest of you focus on Doyle’s location.”
“I hate to be the one to ask this,” Garcia hesitantly spoke up, looking to Hotch. “But how long does Emily have?”
He remained silent for a moment. “Doyle saved her for last because she is his stressor—she had an intimate connection with him,” Hotch blew out a breath and focused his gaze on the analyst. “He’ll take his time.”
A horrified silence fell over the group. He stood up, unable to bear the heavy tension and fear, and walked into the jet’s bathroom. He leaned on the counter for support and took a few deep breaths, trying not to spiral into a panic.
“How long have you known Emily?” Rossi asked quietly, having followed behind him.
“Fall of ‘89,” he answered, feeling faint amusement at the older man’s surprise. “Yale; I was an ambitious law school student while she was a goth sophomore student. We saw each other again when I did some work for the Ambassador, then again when JTF was formed. Clyde always referred to me as the overprotective big brother even though she’s a year older than me.”
“Did you know about Emily and…?” Rossi trailed off, unsure as to how he should phrase the question.
“I had my suspicions,” Hotch admitted. “I wasn’t there to see her after she was extracted, but I talked to her afterward, and something was definitely different.”
~~~
“October 2006. ‘In closing, I have never worked with a finer agent than Emily Prentiss. Her skill at analyzing and predicting terrorist behavior is unparalleled.’ Signed, name redacted,” Hotch looked up at the Englishman. “I knew something was off when I read her personnel file those years ago. Buzz words, the like—you sold her to the bureau just like you sold Doyle to the North Koreans.”
Clyde remained silent as Hotch continued to stare at him. “It takes a skilled sociopath to betray his team and the cause he held dear for self-preservation.”
He leaned forward, expression dark. “If anything happens to Emily, I swear I will destroy you, our past history be damned.”
Finally shifting in his spot, Clyde sent an appraising look over Hotch. “You were the best,” he said, “but you’re slipping. I’m disappointed.”
Hotch looked at him dispassionately. “My team and I will get Doyle with or without you. Pack lightly—Guantanamo gets humid.”
He turned away as Clyde chuckled behind him. “Nice try,” the Englishman said, “but I’m curious. If I’m the sociopath, then I should feel no empathy, correct?”
“Oh, you’re not the sociopath,” Hotch corrected him, turning around at the doorway. “Doyle is.”
He carefully looked Clyde up and down. “Weren’t you a better profiler?”
~~~
“Did you know Jeremy sold the list to Doyle?” Hotch asked, sitting across from Clyde.
“I had my suspicions,” Clyde admitted casually.
“So when you got to DC, you couldn’t trust Tsia, either. Emily and I read your doubt as duplicity,” Hotch said, leaning forward. “Emily is in trouble, and you need to help me brief the team on the original profile so we can combine that with who he is now as a serial killer.”
“Aaron, you know that Doyle is going to escape from one of your American prisons as easily as he did in North Korea,” Clyde retorted. “There is no catching that man, you have to put a bullet in his brain yourself.” He looked at Hotch seriously. “You, as an FBI agent, took an oath to protect the laws of your country. Can you break your oath, Agent Hotchner?”
Hotch shook his head, understanding his intent and opting for a different answer.
“I can take one.”
There was a knock on the door, which opened to show JJ. “The British consul’s here,” she told the men.
“Could you tell him I’ll be right out?” Clyde requested, not looking away from Hotch. “I’m consulting with the BAU on a case.”
~~~
The profilers stood around quickly set up table and case boards in the Boston field office, Clyde and Hotch at the head of the table.
“Ian Doyle is a power-assertive psychopath. Highly controlling and very explosive when something doesn’t go as planned,” Clyde informed them.
“Okay, so how does this fit in with who he is as a family annihilator?” Seaver asked.
“And Prentiss’ role in it,” Rossi added.
“Annihilators have a romanticized view of who their family is,” Reid suggested.
“Actually,” Hotch interrupted, “he was an orphan.”
“Well, they think of family as their possession until some law shatters that and starts them killing,” Morgan offered.
“Doyle was never married,” Clyde said.
“Children?” Rossi asked.
“No.”
“You run your profile that he carried out his murders with surgical-like precision,” Reid interjected, holding out a photo of the dead child.
“Yeah.”
“With no collateral damage,” Morgan continued, which Clyde and Hotch confirmed.
Rossi looked up, an idea coming to him. “Perhaps this child was a surrogate for one he had.”
“Say Doyle had a child and you didn’t know about it,” Seaver suggested hypothetically, turning to Clyde. “Is it possible that Prentiss did?”
“Then why would she keep it from me?” Clyde asked as if the idea was inconceivable. Hotch raised an eyebrow and let out a scoff, earning himself a look from the Englishman.
“First name Declan,” Hotch told Garcia, ignoring Clyde. “Adoptive guardian Louise Jones, Doyle’s housekeeper. Emily moved them here to Boston eight years ago and she told me she made sure they’re safe. Anything beyond that, a last name, I don’t know.”
“Declan and his mother went missing seven years ago,” Garcia said, typing rapidly. “Bodies were never found… wait, what’s this?” Multiple pictures popped up on her screen. “God, someone took pictures of them being shot,” she said, horrified.
“Is there an address?” Hotch demanded.
“That looks like a warehouse,” Garcia said as she entered in the specifiers. “It’s gotta be big enough to house a small army. That’s weapons, supplies, let’s see, which means it has its own perimeter…” she trailed off, hitting enter. “1518 Adams Street,” she read from her screen.
“Hold on, look at the photos,” Reid interjected, taking a closer look at the screen.
“It’s black clothing and a hand, Reid,” Morgan said, confused.
“No, look at the fingernails,” he corrected, pointing to the screen.
Garcia let out a gasp as she realized what Reid was talking about. “Oh my god.”
~~~
“Agent Prentiss is the only friendly in the building,” Hotch briefed the listening agents, ballistics vest on. “Rescuing her is our primary objective.”
“Our only advantage here is stealth,” Morgan said. “Once they know we’re on site, there’s nothing to stop them from killing her, so we keep it quiet until we get to her… ”
~~~
“Cut the power.”
~~~
“I got her!”
~~~
“Come on, stay with me!”
~~~
“She never made it off the table.”
~~~
“You really didn’t have to do this.”
“She’s my friend, and so are you. I want to protect her and make sure you don’t fall under this weight.”
~~~
<< Stay safe
>>You too
~~~
“Prissy, where are you hiding out right now?”
“Good to hear from you too, Iceman. The Golden City. oh, and I know she’s alive.”
“Glad to hear your habits haven’t changed a bit.”
~~~
“How are you doing?”
“The others aren’t as mad as I expected.”
“Red tape, writing up report after report for bureaucrat after bureaucrat, they’re more perceptive than you give them credit for. However, I don’t believe I asked about them, I believe I asked after you.”
“I think cleaning up this mess while trying to go about life with an international criminal potentially out for my blood is a fitting punishment for my failings.”
~~~
“I get it. We’re a family, and it’s important that families talk, and holding it in will just make this sick, sad feeling of awfulness more awful,” Garcia said, “right?”
Hotch allowed himself a brief upturn of his lips at her rambling before sobering up. “Internalizing does make it worse,” he agreed.
“I’ll talk, but I don’t want to talk about her being gone,” Garcia said softly. “Can I talk about how she made me smile?”
A pang shot through Hotch’s heart at her hopeful question as he thought back on the close relationship the women had with each other.
“Of course.”
~~~
“The last time I was on a couch like this was when my father left,” Reid mused quietly. “They all thought I needed to talk, but developmentally I wasn’t guided by conscience—I could only reveal what my mother and my teachers told me was acceptable.”
“You told them exactly what they wanted to hear,” Hotch summed up, not showing just how much that hit home. “You don’t have to do that here. Yell, curse at me, whatever you need to do.”
The genius swallowed. “It’s just unfair that she’s gone,” he said, barely holding back tears. “It’s like if we can’t keep each other safe, then why are we even doing any of this?”
Hotch remained silent as Reid continued. “It’s… sometimes I think maybe—maybe Gideon was right, you know. Maybe…” he trailed off, staring into space. “Maybe it’s just not worth it.”
~~~
Morgan sighed, leaning back on the couch. “So I came in here to do what? Talk about losing Emily?” He shook his head when he received no answer. “Strauss put you up to this?”
“The assessment’s routine,” Hotch finally said. “I asked her to let me do it rather than bring in somebody from the outside. Thought it might be preferred, even with my role in this mess.”
“So let me guess—it’s about the five stages of grief,” Morgan let out a breath. “You want to figure out where we all are.”
Hotch looked at him expectantly, remaining silent, much to Morgan’s annoyance.
“All right,” Morgan said, leaning forward and placing his elbows on his knees. “Denial. I’m fine, this can’t be happening to me—well it didn’t happen to me, did it?” he started. “So that rules that out. What else is there—bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Well, obviously, I haven’t accepted it, otherwise I wouldn’t be in here,” he looked at Hotch. “So where does that leave me?”
“Angry.”
“Angry,” he repeated. “Yeah. Yeah, sometimes I feel like I want to quit my job and spend my time chasing down the son of a bitch who killed Emily. You’re damn right I’m angry,” he declared, anger pouring out of every word before he deflated.
“Sixty seconds,” Morgan breathed out, shaking his head in self-recrimination. “If I had gotten there sixty seconds earlier, Emily might still be with us.”
“Derek, you know that you did everything you could—”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I did everything I could. We all did. I know,” he snapped. ��What, that’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“You protected each other for years, don’t expect this to go away anytime soon,” Hotch told him.
“This what? This—this guilt?”
“Just because you were the last one there doesn’t mean that you could affect the outcome,” Hotch said. “We all wish we had that kind of control.”
“So what do we do, we just chalk it up to fate?” Morgan looked at Hotch incredulously. “What, I can’t blame anybody? What, this is the will of God? No. I do blame somebody, I blame Doyle.”
At a loss, Hotch remained silent, hiding the guilt that threatened to swallow him in the face of Morgan’s grief.
“Hotch, what am I supposed to do?” Morgan finally asked, voice breaking. “I lost my friend right in front of me, and I’m supposed to go on like nothing happened?” He shook his head, taking in a shuddering breath. “You know, we—we come in here, and we talk to you,” he turned to Hotch and asked, “Where do you go?”
Hotch glanced down as Morgan continued, “Where are you with all this?”
“Same place as you,” the unit chief looked back up, a mutual understanding passing between them. “Wishing she was here.”
~~~
“There are benefits to meeting after hours,” Rossi commented, raising his glass of scotch and taking a drink.
Hotch looked down at his own glass. “You know everybody’s feeling it, and nobody wants to talk about it.”
“It’s too soon, Aaron. You know that better than anyone,” the older profiler sent him a look. “And, uh, doesn’t Strauss usually run these assessments?”
“There was no way that was going to happen,” Hotch said firmly to Rossi’s brief chuckle.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” he said, as Hotch took a long drink out of his own glass. “And I also know that you grieve privately. But,” Rossi paused, looking at him solemnly, “you’ve been through more than any of us in a very short time. How are you holding up?”
“I’m all right,” Hotch repeated three words that had become a mantra, briefly glancing at Rossi. “I think it’s an ongoing process,” he said, thinking about the mess he was buried under after the events of the past year.
“This is not my assessment,” he looked at Rossi in reproach, “I’m supposed to be asking how you’re doing.”
A corner of Rossi’s lips briefly tilted up before he looked back down as he thought about what to say. “I’ve always had trouble letting people in,” he began slowly and shook his head. “But this is different. I guess I’ve come to realize… I’m more married to this team than I ever was to three ex-wives.” They shared a brief moment of amusement as his quip.
“It’s been a hard year,” Hotch finally said quietly. “We’ll get through it.”
“Yeah, we will,” Rossi agreed, lifting his glass in a toast. “Emily and Haley.”
Hotch raised his own, the two lapsing into heavy silence.
~~~
I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I’m sorry I’m sorrysorrysorry—
He threw the blanket off himself and got up from where he was laying on the couch to walk over to his desk, glancing out into the dark bullpen as he went. He sat down and started going through the stack of unfinished reports in an attempt to ward off the thoughts that have plagued him since that painful day two months ago.
I’ve failed you, Blackbird.
I hope you’re safe out there.
~~~
“Believe me, everyone who tried to save him that day isn’t going to forget. It’s the day they failed. They’ll ask themselves what they could have done—could they have gotten there sooner? They’ll heal, but it’s going to take time. They’ll move on, but they won’t forget.”
~~~
“Over the next few weeks, each of you is going to be asked if you’d like to stay with the unit,” Hotch informed them.
“Why wouldn’t we?” Reid asked, confused.
“There are other options for you out there,” Hotch answered. “And while I want the unit to stay together, I understand completely if you want to see what the alternatives are. Morgan, there’s renewed interest in you from the New York office.”
Morgan looked surprised. “Nobody’s called me.”
“They will.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m going to go,” he said slowly.
“Oh, I know,” Hotch said evenly.
“Are you staying here?” Seaver asked Hotch.
“It’s my intention to,” but we’ll have to see what happens with Doyle. He felt Rossi’s eyes land on him, knowing that the man would have caught his careful word choice.
Either way, there’s a high chance I’m going to be overseas soon.
~~~
“Has he ever left before us?”
“He technically isn’t leaving—he’s still in danger and doesn’t have the luxury of going into hiding, so he’s been rotating through the Academy dorms.”
“Jack?”
“He’s been staying with the Brooks family. Hotch implemented as many security measures as he could and has been visiting as often as he can.”
~~~
“Hotchner.”
“Hey, it’s me,” Morgan’s voice came over the phone. “How’s it going out there?”
“Got to Pakistan a few days ago, so far long days, some territorial issues to work out, nothing surprising,” Hotch answered, straining to hear Morgan over the helicopters whirring overhead. “How’s everything there?”
“Hotch, we found Declan Doyle.”
“What?”
“Listen, I knew finding the kid was the only way I could find Doyle,” Hotch was silent, mind immediately straying to the potential ramifications. “I know what you’re thinking, man.”
“Is Declan safe?” he finally settled on asking.
“Yeah, he is for now. I’ve had surveillance at his house and his school for a few weeks.”
“Morgan, I didn’t authorize this—”
“I know you didn’t, Hotch, but listen to me. I think Doyle may have found Declan, too.”
Hotch shook his head. “All right, I’m coming back.”
“You want me to wait?” Morgan asked incredulously.
“Morgan, fixated on his son as he may be, Doyle is still incredibly smart and meticulous,” Hotch reminded. “You make sure you have eyes on Doyle from all angles. If you take him alive, keep him under constant surveillance and limit his contact with other people, even if they’re our own.”
~~~
“Prissy, Doyle’s in custody and under constant watch. You can come out of whatever hole you’ve crawled into.”
“Dare I ask how you got to him?”
“I’m still in Pakistan, I didn’t do anything. The team took care of it.”
~~~
<<Time to come back, Blackbird.
>>You got V?
<<Looking for his K.
>>I just got a call from K’s caretaker. What happened?
>>Iceman.
<<K disappeared
~~~
“Welcome back, sir.”
“Thank you,” Hotch turned around to see the brightly-dressed analyst hurrying towards him with a folder under her arm. “What have you got?”
“A top-ten list of Doyle’s enemies.”
“Anybody recently in the States?” he looked through, recognizing the names.
“Richard Gerace’s been here a few weeks,” she answered. “He’s a low-level gun-runner who angrily crossed paths with Doyle. I caught an image of him on the surveillance camera at Declan’s house and confirmed it was him through a scar on his neck. Have you come across him before?” Garcia asked, referring to his time with JTF.
“I don’t think so,” Hotch shook his head. “Get me everything you can on Gerace.”
“Yeah,” Garcia hesitated, “what I just told you is everything I’ve got.” Hotch nodded and briskly walked around her out of the conference room.
He made his way to where they were holding Doyle and walked up to the window next to Rossi.
“Well, that’s a good look,” Rossi commented on his beard. Hotch allowed a brief smile to appear on his face while he texted Morgan, who was inside with Doyle. “How was the desert?”
“Hot,” Hotch replied shortly, still able to feel sand in his combat boots and the sun beating down on his back.
“Doyle’s here, so have you seen Jack yet?”
“No, Jessica took him on a road trip, they’re at Hershey Park right now,” Hotch said, still occupied with his messaging.
“Well, he’ll love that beard,” Rossi looked over at him.
“Yeah, we skyped every day,” Hotch said dryly, looking back at the older man. “He’s not a fan.”
~~~
>>C just called to check in. On the way right now.
<<See you in a bit
>>If I survive the others
<<Blackbird, I made this decision, I am responsible for this. It’s my burden to bear, but I’d do it all over again if it means having you alive.
<<Oh, and J came back fourteen weeks ago. As a profiler, now.
>>What? And you’re just telling me this now?
<<Didn’t find out until I got somewhere with secure service, and that was a week ago.
<<We’ve really missed you.
~~~
“Welcome back,” Morgan greeted Hotch.
“Thanks,” Hotch said, steeling himself. “Everybody, have a seat.”
The profilers looked at him strangely. “Why?” Morgan asked. “What’s going on? Everything all right?”
“Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team,” Hotch crossed his arms. “As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle, but the doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration.”
He continued on, watching as different emotions appeared on the teams’ faces as they realized what he was saying. “I called Clyde and we met with the brass while she was being flown over, and it was decided that her identity was strictly need-to-know, and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. Given the danger Doyle posed, she was reassigned to Paris, where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security.”
“She’s alive?” Garcia asked, hopeful shock clear in her voice. Hotch’s silence spoke volumes.
“But we buried her,” Reid said, uncomprehending.
Hotch looked directly at Morgan. “As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision, and if anyone has any issues, they should be directed towards me.”
“Any issues?” Morgan repeated in angry incredulity. “Yeah, I got issues,” he trailed off when he noticed the others looking behind him.
“Oh my god,” Garcia breathed, tears rolling down her face at the sight of Emily Prentiss in the doorway. She stood up and rushed over, enveloping the woman in a careful hug, as if she were going to disappear.
“I am so sorry,” Emily said, as the analyst let go of her so Reid could take her place. “I really am. Not a day went by that I didn’t want to…” she trailed off, catching sight of Morgan’s expression. “Really, I—” she approached him, hoping he’ll understand, “you didn’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry.”
She leaned in, hugging him tightly as Morgan slowly returned the hug through his shock. They stayed like that for a few moments before she backed away and turned to the others. “There’s so much I want to tell you guys, and I will, I promise, but right now I really need to know what’s going on with Declan,” she said, walking to stand next to Hotch and JJ.
“Emily, was there a man living at the house?” Reid pushed forward to ask.
“Yes, my friend Tom Koehler, he was raising Declan as his own.”
“Where is he?” JJ asked from the side.
“I never saw him go in or out of that house,” Garcia told her.
“He was on assignment overseas,” Emily said.
“But he’s all right?” JJ checked.
“Yes,” Emily confirmed, “He’s on his way back now. He got a call from Declan, he called me, and Hotch texted me just moments later telling me you had Doyle in custody.”
“And because of Tom’s line of work, that’s why you enrolled Declan in a boarding school,” Hotch said.
“I made sure that he, Louise, and I were the only ones allowed to take him off campus.”
“Louise took him home last night because he was sick,” Reid told her.
“Food poisoning,” Hotch interjected.
“Yeah, a few of the kids had it, apparently, so whoever did this got to him on campus. They knew they only had one chance.”
“Current suspect is Richard Gerace,” JJ said, “he’s the most recent arrival into the states. We’ve been tracking his progress through the city, but we came up empty.”
“We know it’s him because he has the scar,” Garcia added.
“That doesn’t make sense, Gerace gave up on Doyle a long time ago,” Emily stated.
Rossi spoke up, “He said you were the only one who knew Gerace.”
“Which is why I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have the balls to pull this off,” she said. “There was no forced entry at the house?”
“I had two agents working security,” Morgan said.
“We think Gerace and his partner pose as the next shift, and one of the agents was a woman,” Reid told her.
Emily’s response came quick. “She’s the alpha.”
“So we’re looking for a woman who’s getting back at Doyle,” JJ summarized.
“Well, our suspect list just got a whole lot longer,” Hotch remarked, exchanging a sardonic look with Emily, who nodded in agreement.
~~~
“Is Strauss still there?” Hotch asked over the phone, striding outside towards the parked SUVs.
“She is.”
“We need full support.”
“Doyle said McDermott’s family imported weapons to a private airfield in Maryland,” Emily said.
“Close?”
“Largo.”
“All right, send me the coordinates. Oh, and Emily?” Hotch added.
“Yeah?”
“It’s good to have you back, Blackbird.”
~~~
“Hotch, are we really going to do this?” Morgan’s voice came over his earpiece.
“No one leaves here,” Hotch said firmly into his mic, keeping a careful eye on the proceedings.
~~~
“Iceman.”
“Blackbird,” Hotch returned as Emily approached him at the side of the conference room, having escaped the others’ excitement at her return. He looked her up and down, taking in the welcome sight before pulling her into a tight hug. The others fell silent, watching them clutch to each other like a lifeline in an embrace that spoke of a deep familiarity.
“You did all that you could,” she told him quietly, as their grip on each other loosened slightly, “thank you.”
A few traitorous tears slipped out of his eyes, which he had squeezed shut. Hotch kept his head at the crook of her neck, taking in the familiar warmth that reassured him of her presence.
“It’s so good to see you.”
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garymancuso-blog1 · 6 years
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SATURDAY 5/26/18
MAN, I JUST COULDN’T GET OUT OF BED THIS MORNING AND WHEN I DID IT WAS 9:30 AND I ALREADY NEEDED A SHOT OF 5-HOUR ENERGY JUST TO GET MY EYES OPEN. ROX SAID THAT SHE GOT UP AROUND 9:00. WE GOT ON THE ROAD ABOUT 10:30-ISH HEADED FOR PRINCE EDWARD COUNTY, WHICH IS REFERRED TO UP HERE AS P.E.C.  THE COUNTY ENCOMPASSES AN AREA OF LAND THAT IS CONNECTED TO THE MAINLAND BY ONE SMALL PIECE OF LAND, FOR ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSES IT IS AN ISLAND IN A BAY IN LAKE ONTARIO.  
HERE’S ARE FEW THINGS, TODAY WE HAVE FOUND SOME UNIQUE NAMES OF ROADS, LIKE ‘CARRYING POINT ROAD, OR TWELVE-O-CLOCK POINT ROAD, OR HORSE THIEF ROAD AND OF COURSE ‘TUMBLE DOWN ROAD.  ONE FUNNY SIGN FOR TODAY………THIS GOES OUT TO ALL YOUR ANIMAL LOVERS OUT THERE. “THERE IS ROOM FOR ALL OF GOD’S CREATURES………..RIGHT NEXT TO THE MASHED POTATOES.”
THE HAPPENING PLACE IS THE VILLAGE (YES, IT’S A VILLAGE AND NOT A CITY OR A TOWN, BUT I DON’T KNOW THE DISTINCTION) OF WELLINGTON, POPULATION 1,700.  IT IS COMPRISED OF ONE MAIN STREET WITH, SHOPS, HOUSES, STORES, RESTAURANTS AND OFFICES ALL INTERSPERSED AND ALL RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER – OBVIOUSLY NO ZONING IN VILLAGES.  WE WERE TOLD OF A RESTAURANT HERE BY LAST NIGHT’S WAITRESS (THIS IS HER SECOND JOB) SO WE WENT THERE FOR BREAKFAST……….IT WAS A LITTLE AFTER 11:00 AM.
IT IS CALLED BLAKE DEVONSHIRE AND IT IS LOCATED ON LAKE ONTARIO.  WE SAT ON THE BACK PATIO OVERLOOKING THE LAKE.  PLEASANT SURROUNDINGS AND PLEASANTLY COOL ENOUGH TO WHERE THEY SUPPLY LIGHT BLANKETS FOR THE PATRONS LIKE ROXANE.  IT WAS TRENDY FOR A VILLAGE BUT A LITTLE MORE DOWN-TO-EARTH THAN YESTERDAY’S TRENDY LUNCH RESTAURANT.  ROX HAD EGGS BENEDICT BUT IN PLACE OF THE HAM SHE HAD A SLICE OF PORTABELLA MUSHROOM, QUITE UNIQUE AND QUITE GOOD SHE REPORTED.
IT WAS WARM, IN THE 70”S WITH A COOL BREEZE OFF THE LAKE AND A LITTLE OVERCAST, BUT STILL GOOD WEATHER.  WE WALKED UP AND DOWN THE STREET STOPPING, SHOPPING AND BUYING STUFF FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS PLUS THE HOUR WE SPENT AT BREAKFAST.  SO A LITTLE AFTER 2:00 WE WERE ON OUT WAY TO A PLACE CALLED 1000 ISLANDS.  THIS PLACE REALLY INTRIGUED ME SO WE JUST HAD TO GO.
1000 ISLANDS IS LOCATED IN THE NECK OF THE OF THE ST. LAWRENCE RIVER AND WAS FORMED AT THE END OF THE LAST ICE AGE, YOU KNOW THE SAME TIME THE GREAT LAKES WERE FORMED.  IT IS A TO OF WHAT REMAINS OF A MOUNTAIN RANGE FROM THE END OF THE ICE AGE. FURTHER GEOGRAPHIC TRIVIA – THE ST. LAWRENCE RIVER DRAINS LAKE ONTARIO, THE LAST OF THE LAKES IN THE GREAT LAKES CHAIN. I WON’T WASTE YOUR TIME NAMING THE OTHER LAKES, I’M SURE Y’ALL KNOW THAT.
THERE ARE ISLANDS OF ALL SIZES BUT FOR THE MOST PART THEY RANGE FROM SMALL TO TINY AND THE GREAT MAJORITY ARE DEVELOPED AND INHABITED.  THEY ARE DEVELOPED TO THE EXTENT THAT THERE IS A HOUSE ON THEM.  THERE WAS ONE SO SMALL THAT THE HOUSE WAS ABOUT 500 S.F. AND THE WHOLE ISLAND WAS ABOUT 650 S.F.  
ONE OF THE LARGEST ISLANDS HAS A CASTLE BUILT ON IT.  IT WAS OWNED BY GEORGE BOLDT, HE’S THE MAN WHO BUILT AND OWNED THE WALDORF ASTORIA HOTEL IN NEW YORK CITY.  THE BACK STORY IS WHEN IT WAS ALMOST COMPLETED HIS WIFE DIED AND HE WAS SO BROKEN HEARTED, BECAUSE HE WAS BUILDING IT FOR HER, THAT HE SAID, “FUCK IT” AND JUST WALKED AWAY FROM IT AND LEFT IT UNCOMPLETED. THE CITY TOOK IT OVER, COMPLETED IT AND NOW CHARGES AND ARM AND LEG TO TOUR THE PLACE…………..NEEDLESS TO SAY OUR LIVES ARE COMPLETE WITH ALL THE PREVIOUS MANSIONS THAT WE HAVE TOURED AND VISITED IN THE PAST.
COME TO FIND OUT THAT MOST OF THESE ISLANDS, BEING ON THE BORDER OF CANADA AND THE USA, ARE THE PROPERTY OF NEW YORK.  THERE IS AN OBSERVATION TOWER BUILT ON ONE OF THE ISLANDS THAT WE VISITED FROM THE CANADA SIDE AND WERE TOLD WE COULD GO TO THE TOWER, BUT DIDN’T HAVE TO GO INTO THE UNITED STATES…………..AS IF IT WERE A DIRTY PLACE, AND WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO DO THAT.  WE TOOK THE ELEVATOR TO THE TOP AND THEN CLIMBED 3 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS TO THE OPEN AIR DECK ON THE TOP.  HERE ARE SOME INTERESTING TIDBITS THAT WE COLLECTED THERE.  LOOKING NORTH OVER THE HORIZON IT IS ONLY 2562 MILES TO THE NORTH POLE.  LOOKING EAST IT IS ONLY 625 MILES TO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN WHERE THE ST. LAWRENCE RIVER EMPTIES OUT.  SOMETIMES I JUST CAN’T HELP MYSELF WHEN IT COMES TO TRIVIA.
OK, BY KNOW THERE ARE PROBABLY 2 QUESTIONS THAT ARE GNAWING AT YOU.  ARE THERE REALLY 1000 ISLANDS AND DO THEY HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH SALAD DRESSING?   NO, THERE ARE ONLY 997 TRUE ISLANDS. (I TOLD THE GUY I WANTED MY MONEY BACK FROM THE TOWER RIDE BECAUSE I PAID FOR 1000 ISLANDS AND ONLY GOT 997.  SECOND, YES, THIS IS WHERE 1000 ISLAND DRESSING WAS CREATED.
IT WAS CREATED BY GEORGE BOLDT (YOU REMEMBER THE UNFINISHED CASTLE).  ONE DAY THEY HAD RUN OUT OF SOME INGREDIENTS NECESSARY TO MAKE THE SALAD DRESSING THAT GEORGE LIKED AND THE CHEF CAME UP WITH THIS CONCOCTION.  GEORGE LIKED IT SO MUCH HE NAME IT 1000 ISLAND DRESSING AND BEGAN SERVING IT AT THE WALDORF ASTORIA AND THE CHEF WHO CREATED IT WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE WALDORF ASTORIA AND BECAME FAMOUS THERE……………….AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER……….THAT IS EXCEPT FOR GEORGE’S WIFE………………..
WE DROVE A LITTLE FURTHER ALONG THE LAKE FRONT AND CAME TO THE HAMLET OF ROCKPORT.  IT IS REALLY SMALL, JUST ONE LITTLE SIDE ROAD.  IN TEXAS WE HAVE DRIVEWAYS LONGER THAN THIS.  OTHER THAN A MARINA, A GENERAL STORE AND A BOAT REPAIR SHOP THERE WERE JUST A FEW HOUSES.  I WOULD GUESS THE POPULATION OF AROUND 14.  WE STOPPED IN THE GENERAL STORE AND THEN TRAVELED FURTHER TO THE FREEWAY AND WERE HEADED FOR OTTAWA, ABOUT AND HOUR AND A HALF NORTH.  MORE TRIVIA, OTTAWA IS THE CAPITOL OF CANADA; YOU KNOW THAT’S WHERE JUSTIN TRUDEAU LIVES.  WHO IS JUSTIN TRUDEAU………I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO DIGNIFY THAT WITH AN ANSWER.
ROXANE REALLY HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK WITH TONIGHT’S HOTEL SELECTION.  ON OUR WAY TO OTTAWA SHE WAS BUSIER THAT A CAT COVERIN’ UP SHIT, WITH MAPS, DIAGRAMS, CHARTS FLYING FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK SEAT AND BACK AGAIN, ALL THE WHILE HER LITTLE HAND HELD ELECTRONIC DEVICE WAS HUMMING AND FLASHING.  WE WERE EXPECTING ROOMS TO BE A LITTLE MORE EXPENSIVE HERE SO SHE BOOKED A ROOM AND THE “BUSINESS INN”.  WHEN WE GOT HERE AND OPENED THE DOOR TO OUR ROOM WE WENT INSIDE AND JUST KEPT WALKING AND WALKING, WE FIRST PASSED THE KITCHEN AND THEN THE SMALL DINING TABLE, IN ONE CORNER WAS THE BATHROOM AND IN YET ANOTHER ROOM WAS THE DESK, COMPLETE WITH A COMPUTER AND PRINTER, AND FINALLY THE KING SIZE BED, 60” FLAT SCREEN TV, A LIVING ROOM AREA WITH A COUCH, CHAIR AND COFFEE TABLE AND A 7’DRESSER ACROSS FROM THE BED.  HELL, THIS IS A SMALL APARTMENT FOR THE PRICE OF A HOTEL ROOM…………WE’RE IMPRESSED.
I HAD TO GO MOVE THE CAR TO A REMOTE PARKING LOCATION BECAUSE ALL IN HOUSE PARKING WAS TAKEN.  THIS WAS NOT A PROBLEM SINCE THIS HOTEL IS LOCATED RIGHT DOWNTOWN AND WE CAN WALK TO EVERYPLACE THAT WE WANT TO GO AND WE WON’T HAVE TO USE THE CAR FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.  THE ONLY SMALL INCONVENIENCE, NOT THE FAULT OF THE HOTEL, IS THAT THERE IS A WEEKEND LONG MARATHON RUN GOING ON AND I HAD TO WAIT ABOUT 25 MINUTES BEFORE ALL THE RUNNERS CLEARED AND THE COPS OPENED UP THE STREETS AGAIN BEFORE I COULD MOVE THE CAR.
OTTAWA IS SUCH A REALLY NEAT, EXCITING, FUN AND CLEAN CITY (996,000 PEOPLE) THAT WE COULDN’T WAIT TO GET OUT AND WALK AROUND.  WE FELT THIS ATTRACTION THE MINUTE WE GOT HERE SO WE’VE ALREADY DECIDED TO STAY ANOTHER DAY HERE.
WE WALKED TO WHAT MIGHT BE CALLED THE ENTERTAINMENT DISTRICT (THIS IS WHERE THE BYWARD MARKET IS LOCATED, THAT WE’LL BE VISITING TOMORROW FOR SURE).  THERE ARE SO MANY RESTAURANTS THAT YOU ALMOST CAN’T COUNT THEM ALL AND IF YOU MULTIPLY THAT NUMBER BY 10 THAT IS HOW MANY BARS AND CLUBS THERE ARE AND IF YOU DIVIDE THAT NUMBER BY 3 THAT IS HOW MANY RESTAURANT / BARS THERE ARE…………ANYWAY WHEN YOU GET FINISHED WITH THE MATH IT’S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO TRY TO DECIDE ON A PLACE TO EAT.
WE ATE A JOEY RIDIEU’S.  THIS RESTAURANT WAS HAS HIP AS YESTERDAY’S WAS TRENDY AND THE FOOD WAS EXCELLENT, AS A MATTER-OF-FACT THE FOOD ON THIS WHOLE TRIP SO FAR HAS REALLY BEEN OVER THE TOP WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE PLATE OF NACHOS WE HAD A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO…………BUT THAT WAS OUR OWN DAMN FAULT.
THE FARTHER EAST WE GO THE MORE FRENCH IS SPOKEN AND MOST ROAD SIGNS ARE IN ENGLISH AND FRENCH.  TODAY I SAW THE FIRST ROAD THAT ONLY IN FRENCH, LUCKILY IT WASN’T ONE THAT PERTAINED TO ME…………….AT LEAST I DON’T THINK IT WAS!!!
OTTAWA IS SUCH A GROOVY CITY, AGAIN, IF CASSIE AND LEXIE ARE READING THIS BLOG WE’RE SORRY THAT WE NEVER TOOK Y’ALL HERE, Y’ALL WOULD HAVE LOVED IT………….CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE US.  WELL I GUESS Y’ALL CAN NOW VISIT IT ON YOUR OWN AND WE HIGHLY SUGGEST THAT YOU DO IT AND DO IT SOON.
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flauntpage · 7 years
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Your Monday Morning Roundup
I don’t have anything to add– just like the picture.
Let’s hit it!
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  The roundup:
WTF is this shit? The Phillies were 11-9 at one point. Since then, they are 4-17. It is almost difficult to be that putrid. Commenter barbecue g sums it up:
I have followed the Phillies faithfully since 1964. I’ve endured entire eras of bad teams and bad baseball. This is by far the worst. The Phillies lost 99-games in 1969 and finished below .400 in 1972. That is it for sub .400 since 1964 until 2015 came along. This team is certain for sub .400 and a 100 losses is probable. I can glean nothing positive about this team. No players to rally behind. No ypung plsyers with legitimate promise. There’s not even a hateful or incompetent GM or manager to root against. How pathetic is losing the rubber game of a series via shutout and claiming a moral victory because your starter pitched well? This team is not even worth the energy of a discussion. Why any sane person would spend a dime to watch them is beyond me. In a nutshell, they suck
I agree. The narrative coming out of the game is that Aaron Nola is not dead – great! – but this team is about as lifeless, useless and unintersting as I’ve ever seen a Philly sports team. Even the Sixers, during full tank, were at least worthy of discussion because they self-created a car wreck attempting to fleece insurance companies. The Phillies just, flat out, suck. I know they’re in this quasi-rebuild, but there’s little incentive to be this bad in baseball like there is in the NBA, and worse, you get the sense that they were at least trying to put a respectable team on the field this year. And worse, their pitchers have shown no improvement whatsoever. Vince Velasquez has regressed to the level Steve Nebraska in a parking garage. Just look at this:
from Corey Seidman
At least people are coming around on Bob McLure maybe being the worst pitching coach in the history of baseball, at least judging by the results. I had written about this in 2013 when the Phillies hired him and again in 2015, and now I’m ready to update it. As pitching coach for the Royals, Red Sox and Phillies, McLure, since 2006, he has only once had a staff with an ERA in the TOP 20 in baseball (16th in 2007 with the Royals). Last year, the Phillies had the 26th best staff in baseball, and this year they’re 28th. It blows my mind that he’s employed. HE HAS NEVER HAD A PITCHING STAFF IN THE TOP HALF OF BASEBALL! Sure, he hasn’t had much to work with, but there has been virtually no improvement. And indeed, high-talent guys like Velasquez have gotten worse.
  Marcus Hayes made poop today. I shall address it later.
  Jordan Matthews in the slot for Philly in 2017? http://pic.twitter.com/ZtqIIapeTY
— Pro Football Focus (@PFF) May 22, 2017
Dude, I’ve been telling you how good the Eagles receivers could be with Matthews playing at his natural slot position. He’s instantly among the league’s best.
  Of course, Peter King has them ranked 23rd in his power rankings:
So many things about this team I like right now, including the drafting of cornerback Sidney Jones in the second round though he’s coming off Achilles surgery in March, and no one knows if he’ll play this year or at what level. This franchise is being built for the long term, with smart two-year pieces like Chris Long plugging temp holes. On offense, Carson Wentz will have more help from a motivated Alshon Jeffery and deep threat Torrey Smith, and Wentz has to progress or the whole program is in trouble. The defense will miss Bennie Logan, and the secondary had better hope Schwartz’s front can bring some pressure; the corners can be attacked. But improvement from Wentz is the key.
That’s too low. They’re better than that. Though I’d be lying if I said I’m not beginning to feel like Howie is chasing wins this season.
  AWKWARD: Just watch Trump's face as MK Oren Hazan pulls him in for a selfiehttps://t.co/XaPL1AbCm5 http://pic.twitter.com/W0iAe2kMWq
— Haaretz.com (@haaretzcom) May 22, 2017
LOL! Melania in Tel Aviv is as MISERABLE, as Melania in the U.S. Watch her push away the CREEP's hand. PRICELESSThis guy is DISGUSTING! http://pic.twitter.com/lhR1JdTi1m
— Voice of Reason (@raggapegs) May 22, 2017
Is there any doubt in anyone’s mind that the president and his wife don’t fuck, don’t sleep in the same bed and perhaps don’t even talk to each other? Have you ever seen a more miserable first lady in your life? Even Mary Todd managed to give Our American Cousin a passing grade when asked about the performance. I don’t blame Melania for being upset about being married to that orange goon, but she can’t even feign interest in him. You know what that means? Gonna have a White House sex scandal on our hands soon!
  Billy Bush wishes the Trump tape never happened.
  LeBron James snipes at a reporter after Game 3 loss: "You only ask questions when we lose… You always come around when we lose, I swear." http://pic.twitter.com/QoIdcbK021
— Ben Golliver (@BenGolliver) May 22, 2017
This is why people give LeBron shit. The Cavs are 10-1 in the playoffs and in no danger of not advancing, and yet he’s got to get prickly with a reporter asking a mundane question. I appreciate how he gets his back up and allows this stuff to fuel him, but jeez, lighten up.
  Vinny Curry blamed his lackluster season on an MCL issue. I’m not gonna jump all over Vinny– he’s been really good to my second uncle or whatever, who’s his neighbor in Ocean City.
  The Union won again. I can’t even pretend to care about a medicore MLS team, but if there’s anyone whose take I’ll read, it’s Ryan Bright’s.
  Ryan Lawrence talked to Mike Trout, who continues to play hard to get and then texts us bathing suit selfies when we least expect them.
  Trout crushed the Mets.
  Joel Embiid and Dario Saric are up for rookie of the year.
  Andy Reid, LeSean McCoy, Fletcher Cox and former Eagles (and current Chiefs) trainer Rick Burkholder attened Jeremy Maclin’s wedding:
Of course Maclin invited the trainer. Of course. McCoy reportedly didn’t kick anyone’s ass at the event.
  ✋you're in a public bathroom takin pics in a dirty ass mirror with a trac phone you can't even take a selfie with that big ass suit on https://t.co/TXRVQOosO7
— LeGarrette Blount (@LG_Blount) May 22, 2017
Here we go.
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