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daechwitatamic · 1 year

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VI. Don't Think About Him || KNJ

(banner by @/itaeewon)

Title: My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni

Genre: college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, the absolute slowest of burns

Pairing: Namjoon x female reader, unrequited Taehyung x reader

Beta'd by @/kookstempo, @/casuallyimagining, and @/toikiii - thank you endlessly!

Summary: You know a lot about the many types of love thanks to Kim Taehyung. You love him as the only person you see as “family”, you love him as your very best friend, and you love him as the beautiful, funny man he’s become. But when a twist of fate during your senior year has you rooming with his good friend Kim Namjoon, you just might find that you have plenty left to learn about love.

Lesson One: there are such things as a right way and a wrong way to love and to be loved.

You try - and fail - to figure out who and what you want.

Section Warnings: excessive drinking, bar scenes, language, kissing, groping, maybe grinding idk

WC: 6k

The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold. - Journey | Edna St. Vincent Millay

Sunday October 28th

Fire burns low in the hearth, but my feet itch and beg to go, into the night where the wolfpack hunts, into the storm of wind and snow.

I can hear only their hunting song. The blizzard steals from me my sight. I have no map to traverse this land, But I peer wistfully into the night.

The wolves, the storm, the wild land, Even still I must decide. I know despite the dangers, I can’t afford to stay inside.

“That’s fucking terrible,” you mutter, closing your book and scooting it away from you in disgust. “Wolves? Am I fourteen? For fuck’s sake.”

Still, it does touch on how you feel: like proceeding forward will result in you getting ripped to metaphorical shreds - but staying here, stuck in the familiar just because you’ve deemed it safe, would somehow be worse.

“Talking to yourself?” someone asks, and you jump with a shriek.

“Namjoon!” you scold, as you register that it’s him in the doorway. “I thought you weren’t home for a few more hours!”

He crosses the room and tosses his bag onto his bed. “Yoongi has a lead foot.”

“How was it?” you ask mildly.

Namjoon wiggles his head, indicating both good and bad. “The brewery was really fun,” he says. “And it was nice for us all to hang out and talk at the house. We all used to dorm together… it’s been weird not living in the same place as them. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

This makes you smile. You’d been to that dorm once or twice, but you’d refused to hang out with Taehyung there because… well, dudes are stinky. And you’re not a clean freak by any means, but it was a little gross over there.

“Well it was lonely and boring here,” you report. “I’m glad you’re back.”

You’re instantly unsure if that was too forward, too much. Namjoon going away the literal day after you’d kissed him had given you plenty of time to think in private, but it had also given you room to sow doubts in your own mind. But Namjoon smiles shyly, pleased, so cute it makes your toes wiggle.

“I’m glad to be back too,” he says. “I’m gonna go shower and unpack. Have you made plans for dinner yet? We could order later?”

You hadn’t, but you have a feeling Taehyung will want to hang out after two days away. “I have plans,” you lie, figuring it will end up being true.

“Ah, no problem then,” Namjoon says easily, and heads into his room, closing the door behind him with a little wave.

You text Taehyung - “welcome home!! dinner later?” - and get up to start some laundry. By the time it’s done washing, and drying, and you’ve folded it, he still hasn’t answered.

You try again - “hello??? this is y/n, looking for signs of life???”

This time, the response is almost immediate.

[4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: sorry [4:56 PM] Tae Bear 🧸: can’t tonight

In the end, you walk to campus alone, eating by yourself in the far corner of the cafeteria. You’ve splurged on ordering too much lately when these meals are built into your tuition. Besides, you don’t want Namjoon to know that your “plans” fell through.

Friday November 2nd

Angel on the right… Devil on the left…

You look side to side, conflicted. Such a strong case for each.

“Are those for tonight?”

You jump, spinning away from the two Halloween costumes you’ve laid out on your bed. It’s not like Namjoon to come over to your side of the apartment; in fact, you’re not sure he’s ever talked to you while you’re in your own room. It’s usually you going over to his door to bother him, if you aren't both in the living room or kitchen.

“Yeah,” you say. “I can’t decide. You’re coming?”

“I think we all are, except Yoongi,” Namjoon tells you. “I’m going as a detective. I have a magnifying glass and everything.”

You laugh. “I can’t wait to see that. Any thoughts on which way I should go tonight?” You mean the costumes. You’d texted Taehyung for his opinion and he’d returned with, “flip a coin”. You’re not sure why you expected anything else from him.

“I think that’s going to depend on your mood,” Namjoon teases. “How are we feeling today? Naughty or nice?”

You raise your eyebrows. Was that… outright flirtation? “What if I’m feeling both?” you ask.

He laughs. “You need one of those half-and-half costumes. I’ve seen them in the stores.”

You have too, but you think they’re cheesy. “I think I’ll go devil,” you muse, a finger on your lips as you consider. “The angel wings are pretty cumbersome. And the bars are going to be slammed.”

“Naughty it is.” Namjoon flashes you a grin and disappears from your doorway, throwing over his shoulder, “No complaints from me!”

You slap a hand over your mouth to muffle the giggle. Well this is new, and damn, you want to keep playing.

You Uber together to the first bar of the town’s Halloween pub crawl, the guys waiting for you outside. Taehyung howls in laughter at Namjoon’s long coat, fedora, and magnifying glass.

“I see the devil won the coin toss,” he says to you, grinning.

You roll your eyes, still a little peeved that he couldn’t take anything seriously, even when you needed him to. This was a trivial thing, but still. It wasn’t a lot to ask.

Jungkook hands you and Namjoon a flyer with a QR code - it listed the locations of each bar and what time the group would move, in case you got lost or missed the exodus. Inside, you have to pay to get wristbanded, but the wristband earns you special prices at each of the stops.

“This does not go with my costume,” you pretend to pout, the bright yellow wristband glaring against your short, red dress.

“I think everyone will understand,” Namjoon teases. Taehyung appears on your other side, pointing out the little laminated sign that advertises this bar’s drink specials.

“You two need to catch up,” he insists.

Three hours and two bars later, you think you’ve achieved this. You and Taehyung cling to each other’s arms, holding each other up, somehow taking turns being the one who needs help staying upright. The first two bars had offered specials on shots, but this one only has special offers for mixed drinks and beer.

“Do we pay full price for shots, or do we let The Man tell us it’s time to settle down?” you muse loudly into Taehyung’s ear.

“Don’t start with that shit,” he tells you. “This is Halloween, not a hippie convention.”

“I see at least four hippies,” you sniff indignantly.

“I think you’re seeing double,” he counters. “No more shots for you.”

“You aren’t in charge of me!” you yell, and head for the bar at a clip, ankles crying for mercy in your heels. You grasp the bar in both hands when you get there, steady yourself, and then reach up to fix your horn headband, which had been starting to slide. You thought Taehyung was right behind you, but when you turn to look, he’s talking to a girl in a mermaid costume.

Of course.

It’s fine.

The bartender finally catches your eye and you flash your wristband, indicating you’ll take the special. He nods, turns and picks up a bottle. A body settles beside you; you turn, expecting that Taehyung caught up, or maybe Jungkook stopped by for a beer. Instead, a guy you’ve never seen before smiles at you.

He’s in scrubs, complete with a fake stethoscope (you think it’s fake, anyway) slung around his neck. His nametag reads Dr. Love. You laugh out loud. “That’s so corny,” you say, your filter well and gone for the night.

Luckily, he laughs too. “It’s sewed on!” he protests. “I honestly almost Sharpied it out, but I thought that would look even stupider.”

He’s really cute, you notice. He looks… clean. Older.

“You look…” he trails off, letting his eyes roam to your feet and back appreciatively, “phenomenal. Is there an angel wandering around here looking for you?”

You grin. “Just me.”

If Kim Taehyung can find a hookup everywhere he goes, why can’t you?

But as you lean against the bar and take a sip of your drink, your eyes scan the bar before you. In the mirrored wall behind the team of bartenders, you can see a slightly distorted view of the patrons and all of their costumes.

Your eye catches on a detective.

Namjoon’s eyes hold yours through the mirror, though he’s about six seats down from you. There’s a tiny smile on his lips as he sips at what looks like a beer. A smile that says maybe he should have expected this. It’s the same face he’s seen on you when Taehyung does exactly what he did tonight.

Beside you, Dr. Love is asking you something, but you don’t hear him at all. You don’t want to be here, in this spot, anymore. You want to be six seats over.

“I’m sorry,” you say, interrupting him, plastering a sickly-sweet smile on your face. “I just found one of my friends, and I’d lost them. Enjoy your night, though!”

You slip away before he can protest more than a syllable, before you can really register the disappointment on his face and feel guilty about it. Better luck next time, Doctor, you think, as you make your way to Namjoon.

As soon as you’re close enough he extends an arm, making a space for you right next to him. His arm tucks you closer, protective. He walks with you towards the far end of the bar, where it’s marginally less crowded. Once you settle into a spot there, he doesn’t remove his arm. His fingers rest on your bare, body-glittered shoulder, moving imperceptibly now and then, as if they have their own agenda.

“Are you having fun?” you ask him.

“Loud bars aren’t usually my thing,” he answers. “But the costumes are great.”

There’s a lot of alcohol in your system; your filter’s taken a hit. “I like this,” you sigh happily, closing your eyes for a second. You think you sway on your feet a little. The arm around your shoulders tightens.

“Like what?” His voice has gone deep, and you shiver a little. You want to kiss him again; you’d blame the shots but you’ve been thinking about it since it happened. The drinks just make it louder.

“Your arm around me,” you tell him honestly, and he ducks his head, dimples appearing along with a blush.

He shakes his head, still smiling. “You’re drunk,” he accuses playfully.

“It’s a Halloween pub crawl,” you point out flatly. “I’m supposed to be drunk.”

“That’s a fair point,” he allows. Then, he peers at you through squinted eyes. “Are you okay, though? How drunk are you?”

You consider this. “Drunk enough that I want to kiss you again, to hell with the consequences. Not too drunk to remember that there would be consequences.”

The playfulness leaves his face; it’s too obvious not to notice. “Consequences like what?”

It’s a challenge. He knows you know it.

“Namjoon,” you say, a little pleading. Don’t.

“Consequences like Taehyung would see?” he presses. His voice has gone hard. He’s tiptoed around this issue before, but it’s the first time either of you have ever really given it life.

You feel like you want to cry. “Are you mad? About Taehyung?”

He softens. His fingers brush your shoulder again, absently. “No,” he admits, deflated. “No, I guess I’m not. But we both know that’s what you meant.” He removes his arm from your shoulders. It hangs listlessly at his side. You feel its absence painfully, like it had kept you tethered and now you might float away.

“Hey,” you say sharply, and reach for his hand. You miss and get his wrist, but you hold it like your life depends on it. He looks at you curiously. “I like you,” you tell him firmly. “A lot. I’m trying not to mess everything up - with anyone. But he’s my family, and if I lose him…” You take a deep gulp of air, trying to will your pulse to calm, your stomach to settle, your eyes to clear of stupid tears. “I have no one left. It feels… delicate,” you finish finally. You need him to understand. You wish you were better at explaining.

Namjoon twists his wrist from your grasp gently, but takes your fingers in his. “What about me?” he asks, voice a little pouty. “We aren’t delicate?”

You smile at him, relief giving you more of a high than anything else could right now. “No,” you say, and touch his chest lightly, just over his beating heart. You brush your hand down his chest, drop it to your side, and turn to stare out at the crowd. “No,” you say again, finishing the thought. “You aren’t delicate at all. You’re steady. That’s something I really like about you.”

There’s a moment of silence that stretches between you, tension building like a bassline, and then he gives a tug to the hand he’s holding. You turn back to look at him.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he asks plaintively.

You open your mouth immediately to answer, but he cuts you off.

“Don’t think about him when you answer that,” he commands seriously, fingers clutching yours so tightly it almost hurts. “Don’t think about anything else but you and me. What do you want?”

What do you want?

“I…” you start feebly, unsure how you’ll even finish the sentence. “I want…”

Jimin rushes up to you, breathless, grabbing both of your arms. Namjoon drops your hand like it’s burned him. If Jimin notices, he doesn’t let on.

“We have to go,” he pants. “Literally right now. Jungkook hit on some huge guy’s girlfriend, it’s about to be a thing. Help me find everybody?”

“Where are they?” Namjoon asks, quickly setting his beer glass on the bar and reaching for your drink too. You let him take it, eyes wide.

“Taehyung grabbed Jungkook and ran - I think they’re outside. Have you seen Hobi? Or Jin?”

“Jin left with a girl two bars ago,” you supply, glad to be able to help.

“I see Hobi,” Namjoon says, craning his neck to scan the crowd. “I’ll go get him. Y/N, go with Jimin, we’ll meet up outside.”

He moves without waiting for an answer, wading through the crowd in what must be Hobi’s direction. Jimin takes you by the hand - it feels much different than it had felt a minute ago with Namjoon - and leads you through the crowd hurriedly, dodging people left and right. You look over your shoulder as he pulls you, trying to find Namjoon in the sea of people, but you can’t.

Outside, Jungkook seems to be arguing heatedly with the bouncer.

“Come on,” Taehyung is telling him, looking honestly pissed. “Let’s just go. The night’s already ruined, let’s just leave.”

You pull away from Jimin and head for Taehyung.

“Hey,” you say softly, resting a hand on his arm. He turns on you, still furious, but you don’t waver. “Take a breath,” you tell him softly.

His temper gets the best of him sometimes.

He shakes his head, angry, but you see his chest move as he obeys anyway. A second later he says, more calmly, “Come on, Jungkook, we can even go somewhere else if you want. We won’t have fun here, that guy’s friends are all worked up in there.”

Jungkook relents as Hobi and Namjoon join you on the sidewalk. You slide your hand off of Taehyung’s arm, feeling weirdly guilty.

“We rallying?” Hobi asks hopefully. “Or did we kill the buzz?”

“Rally!” Jimin cheers, going over and shaking a sullen Jungkook’s shoulder. “Come on! The night prevails!”

“I’ll go somewhere else,” Taehyung says.

“I think I’m done,” Namjoon says, glancing at his phone for the time. “I’ll Uber from here.”

“Y/N?” Taehyung asks, looking to you. For a second, you’re not sure why. Then you realize - you either have to Uber home with Namjoon, or opt to continue on with the rest of the guys.

The angel whispers that you haven’t hung out with Taehyung as much lately.

The devil whispers that you and Namjoon could be all alone.

0-2 for the angels tonight.

“I’m tired,” you say. “I’ll Uber with Namjoon. You guys have fun though. JK, try to keep it in your pants.”

He flips you off wordlessly, still sulking.

They all tell you goodbye, Taehyung giving you an extra-tight squeeze with his hug, and they walk down the block to find another bar. You turn to Namjoon, who’s tapping at his phone to order a ride.

What do you want? His question floats in your head.

You don’t know. You want too much, too many things, too many contradictions.

It seems like Namjoon knows, and forgives you. He silently holds out a hand, waiting. You take it, keeping it tight in yours, not letting go even as you slide into the backseat of the Uber, as it weaves through the neighborhoods until it stops in front of your building, as it drives away, leaving you lit in red taillights before vanishing around the corner.

You’re standing on the sidewalk in front of your building’s front door, Namjoon’s hand in yours, your eyes sleepy but your pulse racing.

He tugs you towards the stairs, and you think he’s going to lead you inside. Instead he spins you and presses you back against the stone balustrade, one hand splayed across the middle of your spine, the other cupping your jaw as he kisses you insistently.

You open immediately for him, giving a happy noise low in your throat. His spare hand, the one not holding you up off the rough stone below, grips the back of your neck for the barest of seconds before continuing down - rubbing patterns past your shoulder blade, the middle of your back, down to the dip of your waist, the swell of your hip, the meat of your ass. He’d better appreciate every curve, you squeezed into spanx for this dress.

You grip at the lapels of his ridiculous detective coat, the earth spinning in circles around you in a blur. You’re aware of only where your hands bunch the fabric, of only where his teeth and lips and tongue clash with yours, of only the fiery path his hand traces up and down your body. You melt into his touch, wanting more, trying to pull him closer, trying to get lost in each sensation.

He breaks the kiss to nip a line of sharp nibbles down your neck. You whine, trying to give him more room. His hands come to rest on your ribcage, thumbs not quite reaching your chest, which has to be a conscious decision on his part. You can feel the cold night air on your thighs; your dress has ridden up. This snaps you out of the moment a little.

“Namjoon,” you murmur, but it comes out a little whiny as he continues to nibble down near the juncture of your neck and shoulder. “We should go inside.”

He stills, then pulls away, eyes seeking yours for any signs of discontent. “Yeah,” he says finally, one syllable all he can handle. “Come on.”

He releases your body gently, letting you find your balance on the pavement. Then, he leads you up the stairs and inside. In the threshold of the apartment, you look at him, a question on your face.

“We’re both really drunk,” he says apologetically, reaching out to brush some stray hairs away from your face. “We should probably cool down a little.”

He’s right - you know he’s right.

“Yeah,” you say, letting the front door close behind you. “Okay.”

You press one palm against the wall for balance as you fight with your shoes, sliding them off one at a time.

Namjoon’s in his room, but the door hangs open. You pause in the doorway of your bedroom, realizing you have a problem.

“Um, hey,” you call across the living room, and he takes a few steps to come look at you. He’s lost the hat and the long coat, and his button-down is undone, revealing a tight, white undershirt beneath. “I promise this isn’t a come-on,” you say, biting back a smile. “But I legitimately can’t reach the zipper on this. Can you-?”

“Of course,” he says, crossing the living room. You turn your back to him, presenting the zipper. He gently sweeps your hair off of your nape and places it over your shoulder. You shiver, goosebumps rising along your arms, and you hear him hum a pleased noise at your reaction. You feel him fumble with the hook-and-eye at the top, and then the zipper sounds. He pauses halfway down your back.

“That good?” he checks. “You can reach that?”

“Yes,” you say, turning back to face him. He’s still got a bit of your lipstick on his mouth, and it makes you have to fight off a smirk. Down, girl. “Goodnight, Namjoon.”

He looks at you for a long minute, expression unreadable. Finally, he says, “Goodnight,” and steps back out into the darkness of the living room. When he gets to his room this time, he closes the door behind him with a soft click. You stare at the inch of light that comes from under his door for a minute before hurrying to close your own door against the dark.

Sunday November 4th

You spend most of Saturday in bed, heart and head both pounding, which means you have a lot of homework to cram in on Sunday.

After you shower and eat, you set up in the living room to get some work done. Namjoon’s door is halfway open, and you can hear the clacking and bass thumps that mean he’s writing in there.

Midafternoon, he appears in his doorway, stretching widely. Your eyes skim the inch of stomach exposed with the stretch and then flick back to your page before he can catch you.

“How’s it going?” he asks, heading into the kitchen.

You twist your mouth, eyeing your laptop and the text spread open on your lap. “I guess it’s going. Sort of.”

“What are you working on?” he asks.

“A paper for one of the bullshit general classes,” you tell him. “Which makes it more challenging, because I deeply do not care.”

He laughs at this, then plops onto the couch a few feet away from you, a water bottle in his hands.

“How about you?” you ask. “It sounded like it was going well.”

“It was going okay,” he agrees. “I reached the end of a scene, so now I need to like… process, look at what’s coming next. I might take a short walk and let it marinate in my brain a little.”

You smile. “How come you never work out here?” you ask him, just curious.

He gives a quick, self-deprecating laugh. “I wouldn’t get anything done. I’d just talk to you.”

You flush, feeling your face heat up, and bite back a smile. “What if I refused to answer?” you offer. “I could just sit here like -.” You mime zipping your lips, still fighting a smile. For good measure, you lock it up and throw the key over your shoulder.

His smile grows. “Wouldn’t help. I’d still be able to look at you.”

Your blush intensifies; you’re tempted to go stick your head in the freezer to cool your cheeks down. “I’ll turn around, then,” you tell him.

His grin turns wolfish. “I assure you, that will not solve the problem.”

Your jaw drops. “Kim Namjoon!” you scold, but you’re giggling.

“I’m just being honest!” he defends, laughing deeply, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Anyway, why? Does it bother you that I stay in there?”

“No,” you say immediately. “You can do what you want.”

He gives you a knowing look, like he’s used to your bullshit and isn’t falling for it. When did that happen? “Don’t get prickly,” he warns.

“Don’t compare me to plants,” you grumble.

“Do you want me to work out here instead?” he asks gently, smiling at you like you’re adorable, which just sets your prickliness off even more.

“I don’t know what I want,” you retort.

There’s a long, stretchy silence as you both consider just how true those words are, on several different levels.

Finally, Namjoon gives you a nod in goodbye and heads back to his room.

This time, he closes the door gently behind him.

–

Taehyung invites you out that night, to see a movie you’d been talking about. You tell him yes, as long as you can go to the earlier showing. But then you start to feel… guilty. Unsure.

You want to ask Namjoon if he cares if you hang out with Taehyung still. He’s bothered by some aspect of your friendship, obviously, but you don’t know what it is. Is it only the fact that Taehyung is a bit of a barrier for you two? Or is he threatened by the whole friendship?

You lay sideways across your bed in the fading late afternoon light, considering this. You imagine asking Namjoon. You think his answer would probably be, do what you want, I’m not your boyfriend.

Which, fair. That conversation needs to come first. Are you together, do either of you even really want that?

In the end, you don’t bring it up. When it’s time, you do your best to sneak out of the apartment, hoping to avoid any conversation about it at all.

Taehyung’s car idles on the street below, and you let yourself in the passenger side and buckle up. You’re anxious, you realize, as Taehyung starts complaining about an argument he had with Jimin back at their place. You’re afraid he’ll ask something that will lead the conversation to Namjoon, afraid that he’ll catch you tripping up, clue in that there’s something worth his attention there.

You can’t lie to him. He knows this as well as you do.

That’s why he never asks you questions he doesn’t really want the answers to.

You’re anxious for nothing, because Taehyung talks about his own shit for the whole drive to the movies, and the whole time you’re in line for snacks, and for the whole time before the movie starts as you sit in the back row of the theater munching on overpriced popcorn.

But the movie is good, and you get pulled into the fictional world, and when the lights come on you find Taehyung’s arm casually over the back of your seat. You hadn’t even noticed it was there.

“I can’t believe Jimin wouldn’t come see this,” Taehyung scoffs as you file out of the theater and back to the lobby. “That was so good! Just because he doesn’t like that one actor?”

You’re curious if Taehyung would have still asked you to join him tonight if Jimin hadn’t turned him down first.

But, like Taehyung, you don’t ask questions if you aren’t prepared to hear the truth. So you don’t ask. What would be the point?

You wonder during the drive home if you’d feel better talking to Taehyung about what was going on with you if the guy in question wasn’t his friend.

Maybe.

But only a little better.

Monday November 5th

Unlike the Monday before, Namjoon leaves for campus without you on Monday morning. You aren’t sure if he’s upset with you, or if he just needed to be there early. You’re too cowardly to ask.

You need some support.

If it’s not coming from your “best friend”, you’ll have to outsource.

You trudge through your morning class, eat as fast as you can - alone - in the cafeteria, and head to the student center. You get to the store well before your shift starts.

You aren’t allowed to clock in yet, so you kill some time doing reading for class in the stock room. The second your shift starts, you’re at the front registers, uncomfortably close to Kris’s personal bubble.

“Yes?” they ask you archly, eyeing your proximity suspiciously.

“I… have a confession to make,” you say, your voice as quiet as you can make it. You’re barely moving your mouth, you’re trying so hard to not actually say these words. “There… has been… perhaps… some kissing.”

Kris is stunned into silence for the first time since you’ve known them. Eyes wide and jaw slack, they stare at you. Then, they clarify loudly, “By you?”

You growl in exasperation. “Don’t be cute.”

Kris beams. “Can’t help it, it’s ingrained in my DNA.”

“I need you to be just a tiny bit serious,” you tell them, “because I am having a full-blown crisis.”

Kris sobers instantly. “Wait,” they whisper. “Crisis? Explain.”

“I kissed…” you cast your eyes around the bookstore, making sure no one’s lurking, “...the one I live with.”

Kris gasps. “You did not! You kissed him? Not the other way around?”

“I did,” you admit, feeling yourself flush again. “Twice. Well, the second time he started it, if you want to get technical.”

“I do want to get technical,” Kris whispers, voice almost reverent. “I can’t fucking believe this. So, why the crisis?”

You take a deep breath. Which factor to start with? Because you don’t want to give up on Taehyung yet? Because you don’t want to risk altering that friendship beyond repair? Because you don’t know if Namjoon will be able to handle your best friend being a guy - a guy that you’ve had feelings for?

“Because I don’t know what I want,” you say, the simplest truth. “I can’t get my head straight.”

Kris cocks their head. “If you didn’t know Taehyung - if you removed him completely from the situation -.”

“Impossible,” you protest.

They hold up a finger to silence you. “If you removed him from the situation,” they continue over you, “would you want to pursue things with Namjoon?”

Guilt hits you like an ocean wave, tugging you down, down, down. “Yes,” you whisper, because that part is just true. There’s no wiggle room, no if’s. You like him. You want to see where it will go. If there were no chance of losing Taehyung in the mix, it wouldn’t be a question at all.

“Y/N,” Kris says insistently, leaning towards you. “You are not doing anything wrong here. Taehyung is your friend. Nothing else - and that’s his fault. You aren’t, like, betraying him by catching feelings for someone else. He can’t expect you to sit around waiting for him until you die!”

“He doesn’t expect that,” you say, still in a whisper, because suddenly your throat is tight in that way it gets when you’re upset.

“You need to talk to Taehyung,” Kris tells you gently. You groan. “And the conversation should not be you asking for permission, either!” they continue, impassioned. “You need to tell him I’m seeing someone and you need to be okay with it.”

“But they’re friends,” you protest. “It’s so messy. I’ve never had messy before.”

“You’ve never had anything before,” Kris points out.

“That wasn’t nice,” you grumble. “Yes I have.”

“Nothing that mattered,” they correct. “Nothing with feelings.”

You slump onto the counter. “I hate this.”

“I’m telling you,” Kris says airily. “If you don’t talk to them, this is all going to blow up in your face. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

“Why do you have to be right all the time,” you complain. Kris smiles beatifically.

When your shifts ends, your feet take you not towards home, but towards the academic building where Namjoon’s “office” is.

You’re thinking about your conversation about Kris; you’re thinking about the idea of fairness.

It isn’t fair, as Kris said, for Taehyung to expect you to wait indefinitely for something that was probably never coming, to hold you emotionally hostage.

It isn’t fair for you to do the same thing to Namjoon - to keep him waiting, wondering, unsure if you’ll ever be completely in it. You know that’s the reason things have kept progressing so slowly between you. You’ve felt guilty letting it get any further, felt afraid of those damn consequences. And if you had to bet, Namjoon has been trying to wait for you to sort it out, to make the choice - to choose him.

You can hear the low tones of his voice as you approach down the quiet hallway. Only the staff are normally back here, sometimes one or two students who need to speak to a professor, so there’s not a lot of foot traffic.

You linger in the hallway, leaning against the wall and messing around on your phone, far enough away to not be able to tell what Namjoon and the student are discussing. When the student - a young guy who looks absolutely dejected as he passes by you - exits, you slip past him and lean against the doorway. Namjoon doesn’t notice you right away. It’s clear that his hours have ended and he’s packing up his stuff. When he does notice a body in the doorway, he jumps, inhaling sharply in alarm.

He slumps against the back of the chair when he registers that it’s you.

“I’m usually the jumpy one,” you giggle.

He gives you a sideways smile as he leaves over his bag on the floor, messing with the clasp. “I didn’t expect to see anyone else. What are you - I mean, what’s up?”

“What am I doing here?” you tease, catching his slip. You feel a little nervous, but you’re determined to do this correctly, to treat him better. “I came to see if you wanted to walk back together.”

Namjoon goes a little still, and you hurry to add, “It’s okay if you don’t! It didn’t make my walk longer or anything to come here first. I just thought I’d check.”

He lets you babble. He does as he’s been doing since the beginning - he waits you out with a patient smile.

“So…” you finally finish, the nerves fluttering and hopping around your stomach. “Do you? Want to walk back with me?”

He stands, lifting his bag from the ground and hoisting it onto his shoulder. “Yes,” he says simply, giving you a tiny smile.

You follow him down the narrow hallway, back down the stairs you’d climbed a minute ago, and outside. It’s a nice day - bright and sunny, chilly but not freezing. Campus is busy, and you have to people-dodge a little as you cross the main section, the crossroads of the two main paths.

The second you cross through the front gate and step onto the city sidewalk on the other side, Namjoon silently reaches for your hand. It’s different from last time, in the rain - not urgent, not pulling. It’s gentle and tentative and, weirdly, somehow sensual the way his thumb runs over your knuckles as he glances sideways at you to see if you’re okay with this.

You give his fingers a tiny squeeze.

You walk together in silence for a few minutes, and then Namjoon asks you quietly. “How was your day? You had class this morning? Was it for Thesis?”

You smile up at him, happy to have someone to talk to about this. Kris would listen, you’re sure, because Kris is a good human, but they would much rather talk about romance. And Taehyung… it’s November, and Taehyung has asked you about your classes or your thesis exactly zero times.

“No, not for my thesis,” you tell him. “Just a regular lit class. It was okay! I was so tired, I could barely stay awake… I think I’m still recovering from the weekend.”

He laughs. “Can’t imagine why,” he teases, voice going a little deeper. “I’m sure you were a perfect angel all weekend long.”

The joke - that you’d dressed as a devil - is not lost on you, and you grin up at him. “Clever,” you say.

He beams back, proud. “Sometimes,” he allows.

“How about you?” you ask. “Did you have class before your TA hours?”

“Yep,” he says, nodding. “Unfortunately, it was a research-based class.”

You groan in sympathy. “First thing on a Monday morning? Fucking ouch.”

“Tell me about it,” he says with a shake of his head. “I’m not much of a napper, but damn, I could use a nap.”

At the apartment, you decide to watch a show you’re in the middle of, and you settle on the couch with a throw-blanket over your legs. Namjoon appears in the doorway of his bedroom, looking at you a little balefully.

“Can I… do you mind if I read out here?” he asks.

You scramble to sit up a little making room on the other side of the couch. “You don’t need to ask,” you say, a little appalled that he’d felt the need. “You live here! I never mind, I promise.”

Appeased, he makes his way over and gets comfortable on the other side of the couch. It occurs to you that this is how you and Taehyung usually spend your time - on opposite ends of the couch - but you shove the thought away.

You glance at him now and then as your show plays, and a few times you think you catch him watching more than reading. In between episodes, you notice his book face-down on his chest, rising and falling in deep, even motions. His head leans back against the arm of the couch, and his eyelids flutter as he dreams.

Smiling a tiny smile, you fluff your blanket to cover his legs, and press play for the next episode.

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Thank you so much for being here!!!!! What did we think of what I lovingly call "the Halloween Pub Crawl Fiasco"?!

Section VII will drop on Friday, February 24th! I hope to see you there!!

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noonachronicles · 2 years

Text

Summer Boy

Kim Taehyung X Reader

Word Count: 19.5k

Warnings: Language, smut.

Genre: Friends to Lovers.

A/N: God it's been a really long time since I posted a BTS story. I'm... nervous? This was obviously supposed to be posted during the summer, but I guess I have a habit of putting things off for six months. Anyway this is just fluff and smut. No angst. Hardly a plot. It’s a simple story. It’s just being in love with Taehyung. Sometimes you just want to be in love with Taehyung because life is hard and loving him is so very easy.

Every summer growing up your family went on exactly the same vacation. Three months out of the year your parents would bring you and your younger brother, Jungkook, to your vacation home on the Hawaiian island of Kauai. May, June, and July were spent on the island and there was never any variation. Winter holidays, you never knew where you were headed, but summers there was never a question.

The home your parents had bought was in a very private neighborhood right on the coast. It was an intimate neighborhood, there were only four homes in the immediate area. It wasn’t until you got older that you realized they were all oversized, when you were younger it just felt normal. There were no less than six bedrooms and eight bathrooms in any of the houses, despite all the families that owned them being relatively small. Each home had price tags bigger than most families would spend in their lifetimes. You knew that was the privilege of growing up in a wealthy family.

The nearest town, as well as other island occupants, were a half hour drive away, at a minimum. Which meant that over the years the four families, that only occupied their homes during the same summer months, had become very close in their tiny, private community.

Of all the kids in all four families you had been the oldest, but not by much. You were also one of only two girls, and you were outnumbered two to one. Both of your parents had expected that you and Jimin's sister, Hanni, would be the absolute best of friends. While you did spend a lot of time with her, especially when you were younger, she was less than your best friend out of the bunch. That label, as well as most of your time and attention, was reserved for Taehyung. Your summer boy.

Tae was barely older than your brother but for whatever reason, you tolerated him so much more easily than Jungkook. The gap in your ages never seemed to bother you and it definitely never mattered to him. His family occupied the house closest to yours. The pair of you would spend entire summers together. Sometimes you would join in with Jimin and Hanni, Jungkook, and Jin who stayed at the fourth house with his parents. Some summers Jin’s stepbrother, Namjoon, would come to the island as well but not always.

The entire group of you would run around like kids were supposed to during the summer. Chasing one another across all four, massive yards in games of tag. Getting lost for hours during hide and seek. Once in a while all of the kids would sleep over at one house or another and watch movies, eat junk food, and stay up until the early hours. When you were older spending time together meant running down to the beach to swim or camping under the stars. Or you’d spend the afternoon trekking into town for shaved ice and in general getting into trouble.

Mostly, however, it was just you and Tae. There was something about him. Even as kids he just sort of got you. When you were much younger it was summer’s climbing through the tropical foliage that separated your two homes and pretending you were exploring a jungle on a tiger hunt. Or as you got older it was reading comic books while you squished together in the white net hammock that his dad had tied up between two palm trees.

As teenager’s the two of you self-taught yourselves how to surf together when no one else was interested. Jin and Jungkook were too into video games and Jimin preferred to spend time with them. Hanni had been too focused on trying to grab the attention of your clueless brother. Most days it would be just the two of you who would head out to explore your little slice of island heaven together. He would ride his bike and you would cruise on your longboard beside him. That’s how you found your favorite spot on the entire island. A secret cove that you never even told Jungkook about. It was just for you two, you and Tae.

Then, as everyone tends to do, you grew up. As an unfortunate side effect you grew apart. It wasn’t intentional. In your first year of college you met your first real boyfriend. Suddenly going on vacations with your family felt like a burden and you’d started opting out. Instead you started taking trips during the summers with your boyfriend and college friends to places that were anywhere else. South Africa, Latin America, Russia. You took cruises to the Bahamas and backpacked through Europe. Summers were spent all over the world.

Even after you broke up with the boyfriend you still didn’t immediately start to make it on your family vacations again. Though you had missed the vacations and more specifically you’d missed Taehyung. This time it was because you were an adult, stuck at jobs that didn’t allow for that kind of time away. After you’d finally gotten a job that allowed for the time off that you needed, you were able to make it back to Kauai. However you still hadn’t seen Taehyung. His parents said he’d stopped coming on the trips too, just shortly after you. When you showed up again this year and he still wasn’t next door you started to wonder if you’d ever see your summer boy again.

“Bunny!” you said making your way into the living room. It was your second day on vacation and you’d already turned restless. Only your family and Taehyung’s parents had made it in so far. The neighborhood was far too quiet.

“No.” Jungkook responded flatly, not even bothering to look up from his phone screen as he laid out across the couch.

“At least let me say what I want to say before you shut me down.” you said bopping him on his head.

He scowled as he looked up at you and rubbed the spot you’d hit, “Fine, what?”

“Look what I found in the garage!” you said enthusiastically holding up two longboards that were covered in a thick layer of dust from being unused for years. Jungkook cringed at the filth of them. With perfect timing a dust bunny rolled off the board and planted itself on his shoulder. “Remember when we used to skate together? Let’s take them into town!”

His forehead creased, “Why would I want to take those when we have the side by side. We can just drive now? We’re not teenagers anymore, y/n, and I don’t want to look stupid.”

“Little too late for that...” you muttered under your breath.

“Now I definitely don’t want to go with you.”

“Oh, come on! Where is your sense of adventure, Bun?” you frowned, “Don't you want to go get lost somewhere?”

Jungkook grinned up at you, “I want you to get lost somewhere.”

“Ass.” you glared, “Whatever. Enjoy being inside all day on your phone, I guess.”

He called after you as you turned and left the room, “Oh, I will!”

For the rest of the morning you sat outside in the driveway. Dragging your dad's old, mostly unused toolbox out with you, you took apart the board and cleaned it up. For a while you were alone and then Taehyung’s mom came over for a chat and then your mom came out and they chatted with one another and then your dad and his dad. Then eventually they all moved to the backyard for drinks and even more chatting. Then you were left alone again to wonder at what age dull conversations like the one you’d just had to sit though would become something that interested you.

With clean wheels and freshly oiled bearings you set off down the road. It was pretty awkward for a while, it had been so long since you’d spent time on a board. By the time the sun set you were looking forward to taking it out for a real trip the next day. You would have liked to go into town with Kook, but you didn’t need him for a fun time.

Each of the four homes had a backyard that opened up to the view of the water, and a dirt path that ran along the cliff's edge connected all four yards. In the center of the path there was a rickety looking white wood staircase that took you about halfway down the cliff side before hitting a plateau. There was another dirt path down there that wound its way down to a private stretch of beach that the four houses shared access to.

That’s where you’d been spending your mornings for the first week of your vacation. You would sit on the shore, with your hoodie shoved over your knees that you had tucked into your chest. Your toes digging into the cold sand as you waited for the sunrise. Once dawn hit you’d tear the hoodie from your body and swim out to try and meet the sun at the horizon. Usually you would get quite far away, the shoreline becoming barely visible, before coming back in. Then you would just stand there waist deep in the water for a while. Watching as each of the waves rolled in and crashed around your hips.

“Y/N!”

Standing in the water, toes sinking into the sand at your feet, you twisted to the side to see who was calling to you. At first, watching him move from the path through the sand, you didn’t recognize him. So much broader than you remembered ever seeing him before. He looked taller somehow, though it seemed unlikely he’d have grown vertically since you saw him last. Then you saw it, pearly whites visible from a mile away framed by his trademark boxy smile. The very one you’d been thinking about for days.

“Tae?” you called back, “ Kim Taehyung!”

He waved at you from the shore and you waded as quickly as you could back through the water. All you could think about doing was throwing your arms around his neck like you used to. When you’d nearly hit the shore, however, you had to stop yourself. You could see his smile falter at your hesitation.

“I’m soaking wet.” you explained, still ankle deep in ocean water. As if acting as proof, your hair was dripping relentlessly over your shoulders in a steady stream.

Just like that his smile was back in full force, threatening to blind you with its brightness, “I don’t care.”

Without questioning it at all you practically skipped the rest of the way out of the water, throwing your arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tightly. His arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you flush against him. The water from your skin and bathing suit soaking into his shirt.

“I missed you so much, Tae. I’m so glad you’re here!” you squealed into his shoulder.

Taehyung kept his arms around you as you leaned out of the embrace. Your palm brushed against his sharp jaw as you cupped his face in your hands to take him in. Tae had always been cute, but the face smiling back at you was something else completely. He was so handsome, but the word didn’t seem to cover it.

“You look…” you let out a breath of a laugh, “so grown.”

The Taehyung standing in front of you was grown up. The way his heavy lidded gaze moved over you as he took you in as well made your pulse skyrocket like a grown up too. His hair was quite a bit longer than the last time you’d seen him, and he hadn’t styled it with way too much product like he had been doing back when you were teenagers. It was wavy and soft as it brushed against his eyebrows. Your eyes got stuck on the pink of his lips and you had to practically tear yourself away from the urge to kiss him that hit you hard. It was like a loose rock had tumbled down the cliff side and smacked you in the back of the head. You shook the thoughts of kissing from your head. What was wrong with you?

“Grown in a good way?” He smirked.

You flushed, “Yeah, of course”.

Leaning back further you took in his full frame. You figured he’d just gotten in as he was still wearing his travel clothes. Grey sweatpants, the legs pulled up to his knees, and an oversized plain white t-shirt that was now sporting opaque patches where the water had soaked through. A knot started to grow in your stomach. Even hidden away by the shirt you could tell how muscular his body was. Every part of him that you had touched felt...thicker. Very suddenly you were exceedingly aware of just how close you were but his embrace kept you from pulling away like your fight or flight instincts were telling you to do.

“I didn’t think you remembered me,” he said coyly, resting his gaze on your mouth, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

“How could I forget you?” you asked, finally feeling his hold on you loosen. You moved back just a step, but he kept his hands on you, resting them on your hips. You wrapped your hands around his forearms which were absolutely thicker than they had been years ago, and smooth. And warm.

“‘You stopped coming.”

“Yeah, that’s true, it doesn’t mean I’d forgotten you. I’d started going on summer vacations with friends I’d met at university instead of coming back here with my family and then, I don’t know, life got busy.” You admitted solemnly and then after a second of thought landed a smack on his shoulder, “You haven’t been here for the last two years though! I know because I actually was!”

“I…” he blushed slightly, looking quite embarrassed.

“What?” your eyes sparkled with curiosity and it made his heart race.

“It wasn’t the same without you here. After the first couple of summers when you didn’t show I decided to do other stuff instead.”

“I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other.” Taehyung was so pleased at the way you couldn’t hide your excitement to be with him again. “I saw your mom, she said you weren’t coming.”

“I told her if you were here not to tell you I was coming. I was hoping you would be, I wanted to surprise you. Kook was out front when we pulled into the driveway. When he said you were down here I didn’t believe him. I had to come straight down and see for myself. You’re staying all summer right?” he asked hopefully.

“Definitely am now that you’re here, summer boy.” you pulled him in for another hug.

The next handful of days passed by in a flash and the pair of you were just as inseparable as ever. During that week Jin had shown up with his family as well. A couple of afternoons found the four of you hanging out down at the beach or going into town for a shaved ice or dinner.

Everything felt so back to normal and also very brand new at the same time. It was weird doing adult things like getting dinner together without your parents and having conversations about jobs, politics, and relationships. Jin even told everyone he was thinking of buying a house by next spring. It was the same as ever in that the energy was still so fun and youthful. Jungkook and you bickering at one another just to annoy each other. Jin making horrible jokes that made everyone laugh, either at the joke or at how ridiculous he was for thinking it was funny in the first place. You were both children like you’d always been and grownups like you were learning to be. It was a strange transition.

Everyday since he’d arrived Taehyung had met you at the beach before sunrise. Neither of you ever said anything, not at first. Not until after you’d already swam back to shore and were standing hip deep in the water. Then one of you would say something about how beautiful it was. The sunrise or the water or the quiet.

You tried not to stare. Every morning you did your best and every morning you failed. At least once you’d look over at Taehyung in your peripherals, his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath from the lengthy swim. Wavy hair dripping water down his shoulders. The droplets of ocean looked like glitter on his skin as the rays of the sun hit them perfectly. His mouth would hang open just slightly, and he’d brush his tongue over his lips or pull the plump bottom one between his teeth. Luckily, you’d thought, he didn't look at you like that. If he did, he would have definitely noticed your wandering eyes.

On the way up from the beach one morning you made promises to see each other later that afternoon, as always, and in this plan decided to visit the cove. Taehyung was surprised when you told him you hadn’t been there since the last time the two of you were together. An undeniable smirk crossed his lips when you said that it felt weird going without him. After a quick hug the two of you separated into your respective homes.

You hopped in the shower, just to rinse off lingering sand, knowing you’d be back out in the water soon enough. You swapped out your wet bathing suit for a dry one and threw a sundress over the top. Then you made your way downstairs, still the only one awake, and made breakfast for your parents and Jungkook who came down about halfway through to start some coffee. Over breakfast your mother got a call and afterwards asked you to come into town with her to shop for dinner. Unable to go more than a week, comfortably, without hosting an event of some kind both your mother and Tae’s mother had been planning a barbecue to celebrate being back together for the summer.

“Just something small.” your mother had said, “We’ll plan something much nicer when the Parks arrive.”

Milling about town for dinner supplies the pair of you had actually run into the Parks. They let you know they had just gotten to the island themselves and were picking up some essentials. Always the hostess, your mother invited them to dinner but they declined, wanting to get an early night. They did invite your family and of course the others, if your mother wanted to pass it along, to take their plane to the main island the next day for some shopping as they were going to pick up Jimin and Hanni.

Your mother seemed thrilled at the prospect and couldn’t wait to tell Jungkook that his friend would be coming this summer as well. Though you knew it was really because she secretly, not so secretly, was hoping he and Hanni would finally fall desperately in love like she had planned since they were toddlers.

Once you were back at home you helped your mom in the kitchen, unpacking supplies and storing them away for later. When the clock hit two, your planned meet up time, you pressed the quickest kiss onto her cheek and made a dash for the door.

Taehyung was already in the driveway on his bike when you got outside. Big brown eyes and boxy smile just waiting for you. It reminded you of when you were much younger. All of a sudden he was the same Tae from years ago and you were just a teenager again too. And the two of you were heading out on yet another adventure. A smile plastered itself on your face as you anticipated an afternoon away with your best friend.

“Ready?” he asked as you walked up.

With a nod you dropped your board on the ground beside him and got a good grip on the underside of his seat. “Ready.”

He took off slowly at first but then started picking up some real speed. You laughed as the thrill of it coursed through you. Once you hit the more populated roads, cars passed by here and there like blurs. The trees looked like splotches of green on top of the bright blue backdrop that was the sky. The only thing you could really see clearly was Taehyung.

His wavy dark hair blowing behind him as he rode, showing off his sharp jaw and smooth neck, the giant smile on his face. So distracted by him you almost lost your grip on the seat and then over compensated for it so much you nearly lost balance on the board. Luckily you were able to get yourself together long enough to survive the rest of the trip without crashing and burning. You always remembered it taking ages to get the spot when you were younger but it didn’t seem so bad this time.

To anyone that may have been driving by it would have looked like the two of you had just stopped for a break on the side of the road. Still somewhere in between point a and point b, clearly not at any destination, but you knew better. There was a giant old tree that threatened to grow out into the road with a thick and twisty, knotted up trunk that you knew like the back of your hand.

Tae picked up his bike and the two of you walked into the brush together. He tucked the bike behind another large tree so that it was hidden away from the main road and you dropped your board beside it before you continued on. The two of you walked about a quarter of a mile through brush and trees until it opened up to a cliff side. For a while you just stood there together, looking out at the widespread bright blue ocean.

Once the view had been appropriately appreciated both of you looked around until you finally found the old rope that was tied around the trunk of a palm tree. Tae went first to check that the rope was still holding strong. He descended down the side of the small, rocky cliff until he reached a plateau. You climbed down after him and then both of you slid down a large smooth boulder until you were standing on the soft, untouched sand of the cove.

Once your feet hit sand you tore off your sneakers and then the coverup dress you’d been wearing over your bathing suit in a flurry. Without even looking back at Taehyung as he stood, still pulling his shirt over his head, you sprinted to the water at full speed.

“Last one on buys shaved ice!” You called over your shoulder.

“Not fair!” Tae yelled back, tripping his way out of his shoes before making a run for the water.

You’d already dove into the crystal clear water by the time his toes even were wet. The floating dock was maybe a yard away from you when you finally peaked back behind you and realized that Tae was catching up quickly. His arms and legs were much too long as an adult. He had his hands on the wood of the dock before you, and was ready to pull himself up when you arrived at his side. Thinking quickly you grabbed his swim trunks and tugged. He crashed back into the water with a yelp and you were able to climb onto the dock before him with a smug grin.

“Cheater!” He panted with exhaustion as he climbed up next to you.

“Sore loser!” You laughed laying back on the warm, sun soaked wood.

“I shouldn’t have to buy you shaved ice. You already got your treat for the day with that view.”

You nearly shrieked with laughter, “Stop! I didn’t even see anything and you know you’ll buy me one anyway.”

Tae leaned back on his hands and looked down at you. Stretched out on your back with your eyes closed, arms behind your head, and skin glistening with water droplets. He gulped. “Yeah, I will.”

“I worry we don’t know each other anymore.” You said, peeking up at him. His frown was immediate. “We haven’t really talked seriously since you got here. Tell me everything, Taehyung. Tell me everything I’ve missed in your life.”

“It’s a lot. Are you sure you can handle it?” He asked with a grin.

You smiled as you kicked your legs through the water and then sat up quickly. “I know something that might make it easier.”

He watched as you crawled over to the opposite end of the dock. “You think it’s still there?”

Running your hand over the boards of wood you found it. A small loose plank that popped up at one end when you pressed your hand against the other. With a laugh you reached in and pulled out a small plastic bag that held about six travel size bottles of liquor that you’d stolen from your parents when you were much younger.

You moved back to Taehyung and sat beside him holding the bag out to him, “Pick your poison.”

“Might literally be poison by now.” he laughed and grabbed a bottle with a clear liquid.

“Well.” You grabbed a bottle with an amber liquid and twisted the top off, “at least if we go down, we go down together.”

Tipping his bottle to you in a cheers he said, “O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.”

Rolling your eyes at his dramatics you tipped back your bottle as well. Both of you took the shot of alcohol at the same time and cringed at the bitter taste. Suddenly Tae’s eyes blew wide and he fell back onto the dock.

“Ha ha.” you laughed sarcastically. When he didn’t move you pushed his thigh with your foot. “Okay stop.”

He still didn’t move. A sick twisting started in your stomach and you got up on your knees and leaned over him.

“Seriously Tae, it’s not funny.”

You placed your hand in his soft, smooth stomach and shook him.

“Kim Taehyung, if you don’t stop I’ll kill you for real.”

His face was unmoving. Not a grin, no movement under his eyelids, no rise and fall of his chest.

“Tae…” your breath came out panicked, what were you supposed to do? What even happened? “TAEHYUNG!”

You could still feel his heart beating in his chest under your palm. Which meant he just needed air in his lungs so you cupped his face, leaned his head back and pressed your open mouth against his. Your eyes had been closed as you released your lungs full of air into his mouth. Before you pulled away to breathe for another go you felt the hard slick muscle of his tongue slide over yours.

You threw your body backwards against the dock and stared at him as his body shook with laughter. “WHAT THE FUCK?”

“You- you didn’t…” He laughed until tears pricked his eyes and he was wheezing out breaths. “You didn’t say the line.”

“What line? You psychopath!” You screamed and kicked at his hip, still trying to get your heart at a decent pace.

“Drunk all, and left no friendly drop to help me after?” He finally sat up, “I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them.”

“Oh, I loathe you theater kids.” You muttered with an eye roll that lasted a lifetime, only making him laugh further.

“What were you planning on doing? Giving me CPR until…” he looked around the secluded cove, “no one showed up?”

“Don’t talk to me.” You pouted.

“I’ll make it up to you.” He said, still smiling, “I’ll buy all of your shaved ice for the entire summer.”

You bit your lip as you thought it over. “Okay, but we’re getting it literally everyday.”

“Deal.” He gave you one more of his charming smiles, “Do you still want to hear what I’ve been up to?”

Hours passed the pair of you like they were nothing as you lounged on the dock. At points you would dive into the water and splash around for a bit. You’d even raced back to shore and then back to the dock once more. He tried to recall everything that had happened in the time you two had been apart.

Of course he mentioned that he’d gone to school. It was actually a really renowned art school where he’d studied acting but had fallen in love with photography. You apologized a million times for not having been around to celebrate with him and expressed a million more times how incredibly proud you were of him. He mostly just blushed and pushed it off like it was no big deal.

He told you all about his best friend from school, a composer named Yoongi, and you tried to hide how jealous you were that he’d call someone else his best friend. You didn’t do it well enough though and he took pleasure in giving you a hard time about it. You discovered that he had recently signed a lease on an apartment that was actually relatively close to where you lived.

You’d always just assumed that when you left the island you were worlds apart. You’d become so accustomed to him being your summer boy, your island buddy. You were just kids back then and it seemed like such an adult move to exchange contact information. Then it just didn’t occur to you as you got older to keep in contact off the island. It didn’t cross your mind to be more than summer friends. You never realized how easy it would have been.

Taehyung mentioned how he’d spent the last couple of years traveling and working in photojournalism for some pretty big publications. He never once mentioned having a girlfriend or being in a relationship and it almost became a nagging sensation to you. There was a gnawing inside of you that wanted to ask. You knew there had to have been someone.

He was too handsome, too charismatic, too... Taehyung to have never been with someone. To not be with someone now. You weren’t even sure why you wanted to know so badly, it shouldn’t matter to you. He was just your friend, your summer friend, your best friend. Your very handsome, incredibly funny, unbearably sweet, best friend. With big strong hands, broad shoulders and perfect pink lips.

“We should go back.” you said as the sun moved lower in the sky. “It’s getting late and I’ll have to help get ready for dinner.”

Taehyung pouted, his big doe eyes boring into you and brushed his hand against yours, “I like when it’s just us.”

In a sudden panic you jumped off the dock and into the water. He was staring at you in surprise when you resurfaced and looked back at him. You opened your mouth as you bobbed in the water but had nothing to say, so you took off towards the beach instead. There was a splash behind you and you knew Tae was right behind you.

Your heart was pounding, it felt more like you’d known that there was a shark behind you, not Taehyung. You’d just stepped back on shore, ready to throw your dress back on and climb the rope back up to the road and disappear as fast as possible. Before you could even get that far his fingers wrapped around your wrist and you spun around into his chest. He was so close you could feel his heartbeat, pounding opposite of yours.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?” water was dripping from his hair down his cheeks and onto his collarbones. He asked the question but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he already knew.

How could he be so ignorant to the tension between the two of you? Or had you just made it up entirely on your own. Maybe he really didn’t know. Maybe you were just some lonely woman making up feelings that weren’t really there. He lifted his hand to your neck and slid it up into your hair. On instinct you tilted your head into his hand and closed your eyes. No, they were definitely there.

“Don’t kiss me, okay?” you whispered, eyes still closed.

“Why not?” you didn’t need to look at him to know he was giving you those eyes again, the big sad puppy dog eyes that had all of your abilities to refrain from melting into nothing.

You lied, “I don’t want you to.”

“That’s fine.” he lied back, and then “I don’t like to kiss girls that don’t want to kiss me.”

You laughed and opened your eyes. “I’m so glad that sexual assault isn’t your kink.”

“Your bar is low.” He shrugged and gave you a little smile.

Pulling away from him, you continued your walk up the beach. Grabbing your dress out of the sand you shook it out and pulled it on over your bathing suit. He walked up behind you and the two of you put your shoes on in silence. Tae helped make sure you got back up the side of the cliff okay and you watched him pull himself up, trying not to think too much about the strain on his bulging shoulder muscles.

The ride home was different, slower than the one on the way to the cove. You didn’t hold onto the back of his bike. Instead, in a sort of unspoken agreement you slipped your hand in his and you headed back at a slow roll, hand in hand. The gesture wasn’t anything new between the two of you, you’d done it all the time. The whole trip back was done silently as you tried figuring out what you were feeling and what that meant for the two of you. If it meant anything at all.

Standing together in front of the houses you were getting ready to say goodbye when he threw his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. His sun dried, wavy locks brushed against your cheek and you slowly ran your hands up the soft cotton of the tshirt that covered his back.

“I don’t think you really understand how much I’ve missed you.” he muttered against your neck, his words tickling your skin. “I don’t think you really understand what you mean to me.”

“I think I do.” you returned quietly.

“Hey!” the two of you pulled away quickly to find Jungkook standing on the patio with an ice cream cone in his hand. Licking his sugar and cream coated lips he gave a little wave and a cheeky smile. “What are you guys up to?”

“Nothing, Bunny! God...” you rolled your eyes and turned back to Tae with a quiet, “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

He nodded his eyes following you as you walked past Jungkook and threw a punch into his shoulder before disappearing into the house. He strolled over to Kook with a boxy grin. The two of them stayed out on the porch for some time talking while you took a long, cold shower.

Dinner was honestly more fun than you’d expected. You’d always really loved Taehyung’s parents, they were so funny and relaxed. Unlike, you felt, your mother who was constantly pressuring you about what you were doing with your life. However, and maybe it was the vacation vibes setting in, both of your parents were behaving. Jin and his family were lovely company as well. Jungkook had made a fairly decent playlist for the evening that was playing over the speakers in the backyard. There was more food than there would ever have needed to be. The weather was amazing as always. And there was Tae. Taehyung with his shirt mostly unbuttoned and who would not stop looking at you like he wanted you to be his desert.

The only thing that could have made it better was if Jungkook would stop staring at you with his knowing side smirk every time you even looked in Taehyung’s general direction. During one of the card games you got so annoyed with him you pinched him hard on the arm until he almost cried. Your mother berated you for being mean to your little brother as if you weren’t nearly thirty years old. As you got yelled at Jungkook stuck his tongue out at you like the petulant child that he was as you sneered black. Taehyung laughed at the pair of you, fully enjoying being an only child.

Much later in the evening, after Jin and his family had left and it was just your family and Taehyungs, well after the sun had set, you excused yourself for a chance to use the restroom. You offered to get anything anyone might need from inside beforehand but it seemed everyone was sated with their rum filled drinks.

When you stepped out of the restroom you were honestly only half surprised to find Taehyung leaning against the opposite wall. His hands were in his pockets, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth, which he released with a pop once he’d seen you.

“Tae…” you said his name cautiously, for both your sake and his. You were just buzzed enough to slip up.

“Do you want to kiss me yet?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

You groaned and started to walk away, “No.”

He grabbed your hips and pulled you back until your back was pressed against his chest. He was being playful but you were on high alert with your parents practically just a room and a sliding glass door away. Leaning down, just slightly, left his lips against your ear and he whispered a desperate, “please.”

You dropped your hands on top of his and peeled his fingers from your hips before walking into the kitchen. He followed with a whine.

You grabbed a slice of pineapple off a plate on the counter, and turned to face him while you took a bite, “Bun says you told him you have a girlfriend back home.”

He hesitated, “I lied.”

“To him or to me?”

“Baby…” you raised a fierce eyebrow and he coward slightly, “...Y/n.”

“Well? Who? Who were you lying to and for what reason?” you asked very seriously.

“Kook.” this time he answered quickly and confidently, “He asked me what we had been up to all afternoon, and I told him that we were just hanging out. He made a stupid comment about how I better not be sleeping around with you and I said I wouldn’t do that, that I had a girlfriend back home. I told him we were just friends like we always have been.”

“And are we?” Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and you clarified, “Are we just friends?”

“I don’t want to be.” he admitted honestly, “I...for so long. I don’t even know how to explain it. Everything I went through all year, I did it just to get to you. I did it because I knew that we would get our moment together once summer came. When you stopped coming you broke my heart. That first summer when Kook said you’d skipped coming because you were in Europe with that guy… I was devastated. You were my summer wife and I was your summer husband, and I know it was some stupid thing and that it didn’t really mean anything, but I don’t know, I guess it always meant something to me. It meant everything to me, actually. I just missed you and I thought you had missed me enough all year to show up too.”

Summer wife. In an instant you were blushing at the memory. You were eleven that summer and there had been a big wedding on Oahu the night your families went to the island for the annual luau dinner. It had become a tradition for the four families to partake in at least one luau together each summer. Usually towards the end as a celebratory send off for the coming year. Taehyung had been watching you, staring at the wedding party, all heart eyes and bleeding heart.

On the short ride back to Kauai when all of the other kids and even some of the parents had fallen asleep, he stayed up, intently listening to you relive your memories of the evening. Gushing about the dresses and the make up. You told him about the kiss you had seen shared between the bride and groom. The way he looked at her like a prince would his princess. And the flower crown. You had gone on and on about the flower crown the bride had worn over loose curls, and swore at that very moment you would have the very same one when you got married.

With a well pleased look on his face he pulled his Spiderman backpack into his lap and took out the very flower crown you’d been admiring all night. When no one had been paying attention he stole the brides’ flower crown for you. That night he proposed that you be his summer wife. The very next day hidden in the shrubbery in the backyard, underneath the blooming birds of paradise, you had an intimate ceremony. Just the two of you. You wore the flower crown and exchanged licorice rings. You promised each other that you’d always be friends, you would always love each other and you’d always have the summer.

“You remembered.” you blinked back tears as the childhood memory quickly resurfaced. “I can’t believe you actually remembered that.”

“You’ve always been the perfect girl and you grew up into the perfect woman. I want to be more than just your summer boy.” You were on fire from your cheeks to your chest and you wanted to kiss him, hard.

“Tae…I-” you were at a loss for words.

“My parents are going to Oahu tomorrow.” he said quickly, taking his chance.

“Yeah mine too.” you muttered.

“Stay here. Stay with me here and we can really talk about it and decide what to do. I’m serious, I want this.” his voice was pleading and so were his big brown eyes. “Please, Y/n. Give me a shot.”

“Why are you guys always alone and secretive?” You could have screamed as you turned to see Jungkook, drunkenly swaying his way into the kitchen through the backdoor.

All you ended up doing was giving him a tired look and saying, “We’re not.”

“Then what are you doing in here? It’s been an hour since you disappeared and left me with the old people.” he complained.

Taehyung chuckled, “It’s been like ten minutes, Kook. You’re just trashed.”

“Hey,” you said moving over to your brother, “Just so you don’t think we’re betraying you or abandoning you again, Tae and I are thinking about staying here tomorrow instead of going to Oahu. Do you want to stay with us?”

You ignored the mortified look Taehyung passed you, knowing exactly how this would play out. Jungkook made an exaggerated thinking face and then shook his head, “Jimin and Hanni are going to be there and I want to see him...them.”

“Oh, okay. Well I just wanted to let you know, the offer stands.” you smiled and patted him on the back.

“Thanks. I have to pee.” he announced and then stumbled around the corner, you hoped he would make it to the bathroom and that he wouldn’t pee all over the seat in his drunken state, again.

Taehyung gave you a look that let you know he was very impressed, “You knew. You clever little...You knew he wouldn’t stay here with us because of Jimin.”

You felt pretty smug yourself, “Yeah, I knew. I don’t blame him, it gets lonely here without your best friend. Let’s stay here together tomorrow like you said. We’ll talk it out.”

“And you’ll let me kiss you?” he asked hopefully.

You were saved from having to answer by the sliding glass door and Taehyung’s desperate mother, “Taehyungieee. I need you to help get your father home. He had a little too much to drink tonight. I’m worried he’ll break an ankle.”

“Coming mama.” he said sweetly and you bit your lip to keep from making any significantly embarrassing noises at how cute you thought he was. He looked over at you as she retreated back outside and grinned, “shut up.”

“Coming mama.” you mocked quietly and let a small giggle escape your lips when he rolled his eyes.

The Parks were leaving early the next morning, which meant that so was your family. You woke up with them at the crack of dawn to say goodbye and wave them off. As your mother would have it no other way. Standing in the front yard, still in your pajamas, you cradled a hot mug of coffee. Taehyung’s parents were piling into the car as well so they could all carpool to the airport for the trip over to Oahu. Poor Tae’s father looked like he was still harboring the effects of his ten pina coladas from the night before. Jungkook had been exhausted and hungover as well, you could see his face pressed up against the window as he fell back asleep for the ride. You waved to your mom as the SUV pulled out of the driveway and took off down the road, disappearing as it rounded the corner.

You had just turned to go back inside when you caught sight of Taehyung walking across his lawn, still in his plaid pajama pants and loose fitting v neck T-shirt.

He gave a small half smile, “You want some coffee?”

“Got coffee.” you said, raising your mug.

“Oh.” He dragged his teeth over his lip, “I could make you breakfast?”

“I was actually thinking about going back to bed for a bit.” you confessed, feeling pretty tired still after your long night.

“Oh.” he shuffled his feet over the grass, wet with morning dew. He was so cute, like a puppy that just wanted some attention. You became certain that he would drive you absolutely insane one day.

With a sigh you grabbed his wrist and started to drag him inside with you, “Come on, Tae. You can be the big spoon.”

For a moment, once you’d gotten into the bedroom, you were unsure you’d actually be able to sleep. He practically bounced onto the mattress, grinning from ear to ear as he waited for you to join him. He was buzzing, his excitement coming off his body in heavy vibrations. You’d even felt the need to clarify to him that you were in fact going to sleep before you put your half empty mug of coffee on the bedside table.

You slid onto the bed next to him and turned to your side. Wordlessly he pulled the blanket over the both of you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You felt his nose disrupt the hair at the back of your neck, and then he finally started to settle. Before you knew it, you were asleep and your half finished coffee was growing cold.

When you opened your eyes for the second time that morning, your position had changed. You were face to face with a sleeping Taehyung, so close your top lip was brushing lightly against his bottom lip. Your arms were wrapped around him as tight as his were around you, your legs tangled together under the blanket. You pulled your face from his and studied his sleeping form.

He looked like your summer boy again. He was so soft and calm with his head against your pillow. He wasn’t provoking you with sultry eyes or running his tongue over his plush pink lips or enticing you with talk of kisses. You pulled your arm out from under the blanket and ran your hand through his gentle locks. A smile spread across his face and he pulled you even closer than you had been. You didn’t even realize there’d been enough space between you to get closer.

“Aren’t you worried?” you asked quietly, he didn’t open his eyes but he did knit his brows, confused by the no context question. “If we tried and failed, it could ruin this. It could ruin us.”

“I’m not worried.”

“What if...what if we tried, but just for the summer? Do you think that if it didn’t work out, we could just come back next summer and pretend like it never happened? That we could still be best friends and do all of the things we do now and not be awkward around each other.” You rambled nervously.

“I think we’ll be fine.” he opened his eyes, instantly locking his with yours.

“You think you could pretend like this summer never happened, if it turns out bad?” you asked.

“No. I’m saying I won’t have to because we’re going to be great.” There was a crinkle to his eye as he brought out the big smile, his lips looked like a heart ready for the taking.

“That’s very cocky.”

He shook his head in disagreement, “I just know what I want, and I know that it’s you. Always has been.”

“It’s been a long time. People change when they get older. What if I’m not the woman you remember? The one you think you want.”

“But you are.” he said confidently.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you as you thought about it. He lifted his hand up to cup your neck, his thumb rubbing just behind your ear. He was so confident that this would work out that it started to make you believe that things would be fine too. It was Taehyung. If things got weird or it didn’t work out for any reason of which you could think of none...there was no way you could really lose him. You would bounce back, your friendship would hold. It felt like going years without him and then falling back into place like you hadn’t missed a second was proof of that.

“Let’s do it.”

His eyes lit up like fireworks, “Really?”

“Yeah, really. Let’s try it for the summer, we’ll see if we’re still… compatible or whatever. And if it goes well we can do it for real. Not like just a summer thing but an all the time thing. If it’s what you really want.”

You watched amused as he buried his face in the pillow and let out what you could only describe as a happy growl, unable to hold in his excitement. When he peeked back at you from his hiding place in the pillow the tops of his cheeks were pink, “I’m so happy.”

“I can see that.” you laughed.

His smile faltered, “Oh, um, can we not tell Jungkook?”

“Why not?”

“Nothing specific.” he lied and you knew it but you figured you could let it slide for now.

You thought for a moment and hummed, “If you don’t want Kook to know we can’t tell like...anyone. You know how news travels here.”

“Fuck.”

The concern on his face was genuine and you weren’t sure why. It worried you to see him so upset when he had just been overwhelmingly happy.

You grabbed his pouty face in your hands and smiled, “Secret boyfriend and girlfriend?”

His eyebrows perked up, “You would do that?”

“I think, unfortunately for me and very fortunately for you, there’s not a lot I wouldn’t do for you Kim Taehyung.”

His smile was back. His vibrating energy was back. His face was quickly buried in your neck, as he tickled your throat with an onslaught of kisses.

“Kiss me for real.” you whispered against his ear.

He pulled back, another wave of excitement crashing over him. You could see his Adam's apple bob in his throat as he gulped. His eyes scanned quickly over your face. You wondered what he could possibly be processing in his head. Impatience creeped over you. What was he waiting for? He smiled, something sly, and then leaned his face to yours. His lips hovered just in front of yours, and you caught yourself trembling in anticipation of him. An actual whine escaped your throat before he finally sucked your bottom lip between his.

It was better than you expected it to be and your expectations had been high. His lips were soft and thick. It was moist but not sloppy wet. He was commanding your mouth with his, but not so much that it felt like you were being suffocated. He’d had his hand on your hip and he slipped it up your side. His long fingers spread out over your back cradling you against him. In no time at all you could confirm with absolute confidence that he was far and beyond the best kisser you had ever experienced in your life. With a moan you wondered what else he would be good at.

His hand slipped down your back and coasted over your ass. You couldn’t stop yourself from spitting out a laugh.

Taehyung pulled out of the kiss, a crease in his forehead. “What?”

“You’re touching my butt.”

“I’m sure I’ve touched it before, in all the time we’ve known each other.”

“Yeah, but not in a sexy way.” You blushed.

“Well… ” he grinned as you continued to giggle about it, “I plan on touching more. In very sexy ways.”

You spit out another laugh, “Oh my god. Taehyung. Kim Taehyung. My Tae. Touching my butt and turning me on with your flirty little lines. Who could have ever imagined?”

He let out the tiniest scoff, “Am I turning you on? I’m not so sure, what with all the giggling.”

Taking a deep breath you stopped laughing and looked up at him very seriously, “Yes. I’m sure.”

Then he kissed you again. Hand on your ass pulling you against him. Your leg inched up until it was wrapped around his hip. He shivered as you moaned into his mouth.

You didn’t think about it when his hand had disappeared from your body for a moment. That was until it reappeared between your thighs, two nimble digits pressing against the warm ever moistening fabric of your thin pajama shorts. Your breath hitched slightly and he smiled while he leaned back into the kiss.

“Do you always get this wet?” He muttered against your lips.

You shivered at the words and looked at him closely. It was Tae, you were sure, but the look in his eyes was new. It was dark and hungry. Your stomach tightened.

“This is brand new territory for us.”

“Do you think it’s too fast?” He seemed only mildly concerned.

The second you thought he was going to remove his fingers from where they had slipped inside your panties, you slammed your thighs together, trapping his hand.

“No.” You answered. Tae grinned at you, his whole hand adjusting under the fabric and cupping your sex , “that’s not what I said. I-I-I only meant that if we keep going, we can’t come back. Sex changes everything.”

He looked you dead in the eyes and then pressed his middle finger inside of you until your eyes fluttered shut. “Good.”

His voice was deep and vibrated down your throat and over your chest. He pushed himself up so he was leaning on his elbow and looked down the bed to where his hand was but you were certain he couldn’t see anything since the blanket was still resting, however skewed, over the two of you. He stayed that way for a moment, very concentrated, massaging your slick inner walls with his long thin fingers, the heel of his palm pressed heavy against your clit. Curving his double digits as he pulled out and slid them back in again. It felt like he was testing how wet he could get you with minimal effort. Very, was the answer. Gushing.

You were about to stop moaning long enough to beg him to add another finger, to do anything. Then to your dismay he removed his hand from your underwear completely. He lifted his wet, sticky fingers from under the blanket and up to his mouth. They disappeared for a moment between his lips until he pulled it back out with a satisfying little pop.

He was being so quiet it started to make you nervous. Then his face changed, his eyes narrowing, darkening even further. A shark that had just smelled blood in the water. He tore the blanket from your body and slid himself down the mattress. He tugged your shorts and panties down to your knees before ducking underneath them and between your thighs.

“Jesus, Tae.” You gasped, clutching the sheets beside you as his pink tongue licked a heavy stripe up your sex, through your lips, and stopped with swirl around your clit.

He only groaned against you in a contented response. You started to squirm beneath him as he continued to spend time on your clit which was growing ever more sensitive with every brush of his tongue and the pulls from his lips. His arms wrapped strongly around your thighs until you were locked into place, spread wide open before him. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, just a whimpering mess. All you wanted to know was this incredible pleasure. You didn’t want him to stop, ever. And by the way he was going in on you like a starved man he had you believing he never would.

Almost too soon after you’d had the thought, he’d pulled away from you. You pushed yourself up on your elbows to look down at him, ready to complain about it. He was resting his head on one of your thighs, gently kissing the skin, his finger trailing invisible designs over the other one.

He seemed so playful and soft with his fluffy, wavy morning hair. He looked up at you from between your thighs, his chin glistening with the essence of you. He was glowing and it made you blush. He nuzzled into your thigh looking coy and shy.

You couldn’t stop your brain from thinking, and then repeating again and again, mine.

“What?” You asked to distract yourself from the thought.

He grinned and shook his head in embarrassment. “Nothing.”

“Tae…just tell me.”

“I... I want you to sit on my face.” He scrunched his nose dramatically and peeked up at you with one eye open.

Your stomach did a somersault and your face grew a beets shade of red. “You what?”

“I can’t get enough this way. You’re so much better than I could have even imagined.”

You blushed even further and threw a pillow at him. “Shut up!”

He shoved the pillow away, “No. I’m serious.”

With no warning he was crawling up your body until he could slam his lips against your mouth in a kiss.

“Taste you.” He whispered, “So sweet and sticky. You’re like fucking honey.”

With those words you felt yourself melt into the mattress. You moaned, sucking yourself clean off of his lips.

“Okay.” You gasped for air a minute later.

“Okay?” He asked to confirm. You just nodded.

Quickly, he moved down your body and the mattress once more. His hand, his long fingers, trailed down your thighs and pulled the panties that had wrapped themselves around one of your ankles completely off and tossed them to the ground before lying back on the bed. His legs swung joyfully off the side.

“You’re entirely too happy right now.” You groaned, sitting up and moving so you were kneeling on the mattress next to his head. “If you die, and I have to explain to your parents…”

“Tell them it’s how I wanted to go.” He grinned “Come on, I've been a good boy haven’t I? I just want a little treat.”

You inhaled deeply, pressing your thighs together. It was more likely he would drown before he suffocated, what with the way you were positively dripping.

With one last hesitant sigh you covered your blushing face with your hands. You moved your leg so you were straddling his face, hovering just over his mouth. His arms wrapped around your thighs once more and before you could get out one more joke about his inevitable demise he released a guttural growl and pulled you down onto his face.

Insatiable. It was the only word to describe him with. Slurping and sucking at your slit. You wanted nothing more than to slam your thighs together but his surprisingly strong arms kept you spread open. You hunched forward after a particularly good suck as your stomach filled with hot coils.

“Oh god damn.” You whimpered, digging your fingers into his hair. He hummed beneath you and the vibration of it had you bucking against his mouth. You weren’t sure if he could breathe but regardless you couldn’t stop the urge to grind down on his face, “Fuck. I’m sorry. I can’t stop, Tae.”

He hummed once more, longer this time, like a song and your eyes rolled back. Then he seemed to go harder. His tongue moving faster and dipping deeper inside of you, his lips sucking harder. His nails dug into your thighs and then he was pulling you even closer.

“Tae-Taehyung...” You panted and quickly the soft mantra of his name turned to screams of the likes you had never released before. You were shaking all over from your toes to your fingertips with your orgasm. You lurched forward once more trying not to suffocate him but having very little control over your body anymore. His arms held strong around your legs and he flipped you so you were on your back continuing to lick you clean to the last drop as your thighs vibrated in his hands.

It truly felt as if you couldn’t be more blissed out if you were trying to be. Taehyung pushed himself up between your legs and tugged his shirt over his head, swiping his mouth with the fabric.You watched listlessly as he tugged his pajama bottoms off to reveal what had to have been the prettiest cock you’d ever seen. Thick and glistening, standing at full attention. He grabbed your hips and pulled you towards him. Your sleep shirt rolled up over your breasts in the process. He rubbed his length against your slick wet entrance, brushing against your sensitive, still throbbing clit several times. It made your whole body tense each time.

He wrapped his hand around his dick giving it several pumps before looking back up at you, suddenly feeling cautious. “Is it okay if I…”

“I’d be more upset if you didn’t.” You grinned.

He poked his tongue out of his mouth cutely as he lined up and pressed himself inside of you. Your mouth fell open from the feel of him inching his way in, so slowly it was borderline agonizing. His hips moved away from you and you whined subconsciously until he pressed forward again. Once it seemed you’d become accustomed to his girth he started moving full tempo. You met every single thrust.

“You’re so needy.” He smiled, loving the way you felt, and every way you reacted to him. “Like you’ve never been fucked so good in your life. And to think you almost didn’t want this. You almost didn’t want me.”

“That’s still up in the air.” Concern flashed across his face but it was only a blink’s worth of time before he was smiling again.

He leaned down and sucked your lips between his in a kiss. Waiting until you were moaning against his lips, he trailed his mouth over your jaw to just below your ear. You could feel him start to retract his hips again but this time he didn’t come back. In a low, dark voice against your throat he whispered, “If you don’t want me, you can’t have this.”

A gulp moved down your throat. He was grinding slowly, his erect cock sliding easily over your soaked sex but never pressing back inside of you..

You gasped in desperation, “Come on, Tae. I was just joking.”

His tongue brushed against his lips and he leaned down, to give you another kiss.

“Beg.”

Your stomach did a flip. Just the way he said that one word had your hips bucking up to meet his. Wanting him more than anything. “Fuck, okay. I’m sorry. It was so stupid. I do want you, Tae, I’ve wanted you for so long. Please! You felt so good, I was so full. Do it again, give me everything. I’ll be good.”

His eyes scanned your face quickly and then asked, “Did you mean that?”

“Yeah, of course. I can be good-“

“No.” He shook his head, strands of hair shaking loose from his sweaty forehead . “How long have you wanted me?”

It had just been something you thought he’d wanted to hear, you hadn’t really thought about it. Taking even just a second's worth of time you guessed you’d been telling the truth.

At least when you were around ten you’d started wanting to kiss him. Fourteen was when you started to think of him in a more deviant way. The last summer you’d spent together, the summer you’d just turned 18, you remembered your lust for him being overwhelming. You’d touched yourself almost every night thinking about him back then but you knew you couldn’t say anything, you’d never have done anything about it. He was your brother's age. In fact you were so close to him he should have felt more like a brother than a crush, but he didn’t. He never had and that’s why you couldn’t keep coming here. You couldn’t torture yourself.

“I don’t know, a decade? In one way or another I’ve wanted you since we were kids.” He blushed and his thumb brushed gently over your cheek. Your heart softened as you realized that all he wanted was for you to want him. You moved your hands up to cup his blushing cheeks. “I want you, Taehyung. I want you more than anything, really, I do.”

You gasped as he finally slipped back inside of you. This time he went more viciously than before, there was intent behind every thrust. He was going to show you just how much you wanted him.

“Oh God, I want you.” You gasped again and again in encouragement. “I want you just like this, don’t stop.”

“I want you too.” He muttered against your neck. You tightened around him at the words, you hadn’t realized what they could do for you too.

“Do you? You want me all wet and warm around your cock.” You said lewdly. He groaned into your shoulder, you weren’t sure but you thought he might be close. “Touch me, I want you to. I know you know what I like now”.

He bit down on your shoulder and you smiled to yourself as his teeth pinched your skin. You knew one of his kinks now and it was you. Tae pushed himself up so he was towering over you, his floppy hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. He dropped his hand down between the two of you, between your thighs. Your back arched off the mattress as the pad of his thumb made quick work of your clit. You clenched hard around his cock as you inched closer and closer to your orgasm. Completely opposite to your first, this time you let out a soft gasp instead of a scream and your eyes fluttered closed. Tae quickly pulled out of you and painted your belly with his own orgasm.

You pouted down at the mess but he just smiled and kissed your forehead, “Stay here. Don’t move. I got this.”

With a grin you watched him hurry, completely naked, from the room. You grabbed the nearest pillow to you and pushed it over your face to muffle the happiest squeal that ever left your lungs. Tossing the pillow to the side you laughed heartily knowing you wouldn’t soon get the image of his cute, naked butt out of your head. You were a goner for sure.

A month passed of your secret relationship and everything was going as perfectly as Taehyung always imagined it would. There was still an anxious feeling that stayed put in your gut, the one that worried something would still go wrong. Taehyung would realize something about you that he just couldn’t stand or you would find out something about him that ended up being a deal breaker. You ignored the feeling as best as you could and he made it incredibly easy to push it to the very back of your mind, but still it lingered.

The two of you spent every day together learning that despite the years you’d spent apart you’d still grown to love a lot of the same things and have the same interests. Despite any hesitations you did think he was amazing. Taehyung had grown up so much while you were apart and was somehow the same person you remembered him to be. The person who made you laugh constantly and who could never hide how much he cared about you. Or maybe it was that he never tried to hide it.

There was a beautiful breeze through the palm trees as you looked up at the bright blue sky. The weather report said a storm was coming that evening and you could see clouds very far off in the distance but they were bright and fluffy and you weren’t at all worried.

The bar top table in front of you was made out of an old surfboard. It was one of the charming characteristics that you loved about your and Taehyung’s favorite shaved ice shop. You sat together so often on so many days over so many years at that table. Eating shaved ice and looking across the road to the vast blue ocean. Years ago, when the both of you were in your early teens he’d carved your initials on the surfboard, just like tons of people had. They were still there.

You could see them right in between where your cup and Taehyung’s cup were sitting. Your cup was half empty already and getting soupy while Taehyung’s sat untouched. With an innocent hum you dipped your spoon into his frozen treat and scooped yourself a mouth full.

“I saw that!”

Your eyebrows shot to your hairline, surprised that you’d been caught. You didn’t think he’d been paying attention.

“It’s melting! I didn’t want it going completely to waste.”

“No more!” He scolded and went back to what he’d been doing.

With a sigh you slumped over the surfboard table and continued to watch him. He was kneeling in the parking lot with his camera covering half his face. He’d been in that position going on nearly ten minutes. He was trying to get the perfect picture at the exact perfect moment. You didn't understand his process but he seemed incredibly confident in it. Truthfully you could have watched him all day, he looked so in his element. You wished you could watch him work more often. It was only a few more minutes before he was standing up with a groan for his aching legs.

“Did you get it?” You asked as he walked over and he stood across the board from you.

“Got it.” He grinned and lifted his hand, pushing your hair behind your ear. “Got this too.”

You blushed as he tucked a pink hibiscus flower behind your ear as well. You tried to look away when he fixed his camera on you, for the hundredth time, but he’d trailed his fingers gently along your jaw, turning you back towards him.

“Don’t you have enough of me yet?” You asked as he admired his work through the screen on the back of his camera.

He smiled up at you, “Never enough of you.”

Finally he moved around the counter to sit on the stool beside you. Both of you were quiet, just happy to be together as you sat there. He’d placed his camera on the counter and then his hands on the tops of your thighs.

“One for you.” You lifted a spoonful of shaved ice to his lips. “And one for me.”

“That’s mine.” He whined.

You took another spoonful. “Yours tastes better.”

“We got the same exact thing!”

“I don’t know what to tell you. Yours is better.”

He shook his head as you took another taste from his cup. Grabbing your shaved ice and loading up a spoon, he brought it to his mouth with a thoughtful hum.

“Yours is really good,” he scooped from his own cup and lifted it to your mouth.

Having a feeling about his intentions you kept the sweet ice on your tongue. He leaned forward, grabbing your chin between his fingers and bringing your lips to his. You smiled as his tongue slipped between your teeth and teased your own.

After a minute he pulled away with a smirk. “Yeah, you’re right. Mine’s better.”

“You’re so…” you just smiled back at him as he squeezed the tops of your thighs. “You’re so great.”

The sound of a roaring engine had both of you looking out at the road. It was a UTV, Jin’s to be precise. And it was carrying the people you’d left back at home that morning when the two of you went on your adventure for the day. When they parked Jungkook was the first to jump out. He walked over to you with a suspicious look on his face.

“What are you two up to?” He asked, peering over the counter top where Taehyung had pulled his hands off your thighs and put them on his knees.

“We were just enjoying some shaved ice.” Taehyung said with a nervous blush growing at his neck.

“Obviously.” You said, flicking your brother's hand away from your cup. “And you?”

“Came to do the same.” Jungkook shrugged as Jimin, Jin, and Hanni made their way over as well. “And we were trying to find you two, actually. But of course you were off hiding again.”

“Who’s hiding? We’re sitting right here in the open. If we were hiding we fucking suck at it.”

“Well,” Jungkook raised his eyebrows, “You’ve never beaten me at hide and seek so, yes you do fucking suck at it.”

“Hey, Kook,” Hanni said, running her hand over his forearm, “Want to come get a shaved ice with me? My treat.”

You bit your lip as you watched your brother inch himself away from Jimin's sister, with the slightest sneer on his face. The secondhand embarrassment was cringe worthy but she didn’t even seem to have first hand embarrassment

“No. Thanks.”

“I’ll go with you, Hanni.” Jin smiled brightly, happily oblivious as well.

“Sure.” She sighed, giving up on Jungkook for the moment. “Jimin?”

“No thanks.” There was a smile on his face as leaned on the counter next to Jungkook that you couldn’t quite figure out. Almost like he was keeping a secret. You were familiar with the smile, it was one you used a lot lately.

“Anyway.” Jungkook sighed when they walked away, “There’s supposed to be a big storm tonight. We were all thinking we’d do a movie night thing at Jin’s like we used to since he's got the theater room. We’re going to the store to get stuff to make personal pizzas and movie snacks and stuff.”

“Like a sleepover?” Taehyung grinned over at you. Beneath the bar top the two of you were swinging your feet into each other.

“Yeah, well if it gets too late or the storm is too rough, we can stay over.”

“Did Jin ask his parents if we could spend the night?” You asked, “You told mom and dad right? I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Jimin laughed but Jungkook only rolled his eyes. “Just shut up, and tell me what to get you from the store. I mean you guys are coming right? Or are you just gonna hide over at Taehyung’s and screw like you have been doing for weeks now.”

“Bun! Why would you say that?” You scowled at him, and hoped it was convincing that you’d been offended.

“Uh, I don’t know, because it’s true.”

You looked over at Jimin and grabbed his hands in yours. “Jimin, tell your friend he’s an idiot.”

Jimin smiled as you squeezed his hand, “Oh trust me, y/n, I do it all the time.”

Jin and Hanni came back with their shaved ice in hand. Jungkook looked over at the sweet treat like he’d never wanted anything more in his life, but he couldn’t get one now. Not when he’d already said he didn’t want one.

“Kook you gotta drive.” Jin said with a mouthful of shaved ice and then nodded over to you and Taehyung, “See you guys tonight.”

“Whatever. We’re gonna go. Text me what you guys want from the store.” He pouted slightly watching the food walk away.

“Sure, thanks Bunny.” You held up the half eaten shaved ice you’d been holding onto, “Want the rest of Tae’s?”

“No.” He said grumpily and turned away. He only made it a few steps before he was back. He finished off the cup with three heaping mouthfuls. There was a bright smile on his face when he slammed the empty cup on the table. “Thanks.”

As the two of you watched your friends drive off down the road Taehyung turned to you in realization. “Hey, that was mine!”

“I know!” You laughed, “I gave you credit. Cheer up, cutie. I’ll buy you a new one.”

“Nah.” He leaned forward until your lips were on his. “I’ll get it. Just text Kook and tell him to get me some strawberries.”

That evening had been pretty fun. Even if Jungkook wouldn’t stop watching every move you made, just waiting for the slip up. Jin’s family had an amazing set up in the backyard, they even had a huge wood fired pizza oven built in.

All of you swam in the pool for awhile, and made pizzas and watched the storm coming in.

When it got too windy outside and the sky began to sprinkle on you, all of you headed inside. Together you enjoyed several bottles of wine and a dessert bar paired with some amusing conversations. It was like being a kid again with all the perks of being an adult.

As it grew even later you all headed into the theatre room with your popcorn and candies. There was a massive sectional couch that lined the back of the room and down a few steps there was a place for individual recliners and a small loveseat. Jin snagged himself the loveseat, as he always did, and he fiddled with the remote as everyone got situated. You grabbed one side of the sectional for you and Taehyung. Jungkook and Jimin took the spot across the couch from you.

“Did you take a shower?” You asked as Taehyung settled down next to you on the couch.

“I’ve been with you all afternoon, do you remember seeing me in the shower?” He asked boldly, throwing a blanket over the both of you. You narrowed your eyes on him and he laughed, “Why, do I smell bad?”

You pressed your nose to his shoulder and inhaled deeply. “No. You smell like summer.”

You could hear Jungkook groan from the other side of the oversized sectional. “There are three other houses you guys could go to if all you’re going to do is flirt and fuck.”

“Bunny!” Your mouth fell open as you stared at him in disbelief.

“Don’t Bunny me!” He scowled. “You’re always together.”

“We’re friends. Friends that haven’t seen each other in a long time. We’re just catching up.” Tae argued.

“It’s almost been two months, you should be caught up by now and not sharing blankets and saying corny shit about how you smell like summer. It’s disgusting.” He gave Taehyung a pointed look, “And you know how I feel about you and my sister.”

Taehyung tensed beside you wanted to question him but it wasn’t the time so you said nothing instead.

“You and Jimin are sharing a blanket! Are you two fucking?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No! Jesus. Why would you even...ugh.”

“Then why would Tae and I be? Stop being a dick, Bun. Especially since Tae has a girlfriend. Imagine how she’d feel if she heard your stupid complaints.” You tried desperately not to smile.

“I’m starting the movie,” Jin sighed, “whether or not the twins are done bickering.”

Hanni looked over at the couch from the recliner she’d taken for herself. Not understanding the hyperbole she said, “Wait you guys are twins? It’s been years and I never realized…”

“I don’t… I don’t acknowledge you as family anymore, Hanni.” Jimin said with a roll of his eyes.

“Shut up, please!” Jin begged as he used the remote to dim the lights in the room before starting the movie.

You’d been a little worried about the way Taehyung would behave. A dark room, sharing a blanket, about a bottle and half of wine coursing it’s way through the both of you. He surprised you however, remaining subtle. A few little kisses behind your ear here and there. His arms wrapped around you beneath the blanket. You fed him pieces of popcorn and candy and strawberries whenever he nudged you so that he didn’t have to stop holding you.

Over the last month he’d been relatively insatiable when it came to being physical, you were thrilled that despite that, he had it in him to be a good boy. You assumed part of it was that Jungkook had been correct earlier that day. He said that you’d been hiding over at Taehyung’s and screwing and he was right. You didn’t know if he really knew or if it was just a guess.

Either way, almost every single night for a month you’d snuck out of your second floor window after everyone had gone to bed and climbed down the side of the house, before sneaking in through his window. It was juvenile behavior but it just seemed the most logical for your secret romance. It was just him and his parents over there and they were heavy sleepers. And your house had Jungkook who, you wouldn’t be surprised, if he kept an ear planted against your shared wall just to catch you sneaking around.

After that night you and Taehyung went back to spending all of your time together, away from everyone else. You didn’t want to waste what little time you had left not being able to be openly intimate so it worked out better that way.

One beautiful afternoon, with the sky clear and blue, the two of you squeezed yourself into the old hammock in his backyard with a couple of books. You’d been stuck on the same page for about an hour. A worry had crossed your mind and you couldn’t seem to rid yourself of it. Things had been going so well, you’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did and you worried you’d figured out why.

“What if this doesn’t work when we leave here?”

Taehyung sighed, dropping his book into his lap. “What horrible scenario have you come up with this time?”

“I just mean, this is not real life, Tae.” You looked out at the ocean from your place tucked into him in the old hammock. “We’re in paradise. It is actual heaven. It’s a vacation. So what happens when we leave? What happens when we go back to our lives and reality? Our friends and our jobs. I see you every day here. I never wonder where you are or who you’re with. So I never have to miss you and I don’t have to be jealous or worried that you’re cheating on me.”

“Cheating on you?” He laughed, “What are you talking about?”

“What about your career, Tae? I’m at work all the time and you travel constantly for your job. We’ll never see one another.”

“I don’t have to travel. I completely curate my own schedule. I can do whatever I want. I’ll only travel on weekends and I can always take you with me whenever you want to come!”

“What about your friends? What happens when you would rather spend time with your best friend Yoongi than with me.”

At that Taehyung belted out a laugh. He grabbed your face in between his large hands and kissed the top of your head. “Would you let the Yoongi thing go? You are my best friend, idiot!”

“I’m serious. What if this is only going so well because there’s nothing here to make it go bad?”

“I am actually really happy you’re even thinking so seriously about us taking this relationship home.” He grinned. “So let’s do this. Let’s talk it out.”

“Okay.”

“Give me a scenario. Something you’re worried will go wrong between us.”

“You get tired of how needy I am. I work really long hours during the week so I’ll want to spend a lot of time with you on weekends to make up for it. So what if one weekend I need you, but you make plans with your friends.” You frowned thinking about it. “I don’t want to be the girl that asks you to give up your friends or who tells you what to do with your time. But I’ll need you. I need this. Hours of being together, doing nothing, just being near each other.”

“That one’s easy. I’m gonna need you too. You think having to spend time with you is going to be some sort of burden on me?” He laughed, “You wanting to spend time with me will never be an argument because I’m going to want you too. I’ll just cancel the plans with my friends. Because I choose to. You don’t have to feel guilty about that.”

“What if I get put on a project at work with another man? That means long hours and late nights that I spend with this guy and it could last for weeks. Would you be upset?”

“Yes.” He admitted. “I’d be jealous but it wouldn’t be an argument. I trust you. I don’t think you’d ever do anything to hurt me. So no I wouldn’t like it, but we wouldn’t fight about it.”

“Oh, so you’re just the perfect boyfriend then.” You said it half sarcastically but mostly you meant it. Mostly you knew it was true. He would be perfect for you. He was perfect for you.

“Exactly! You’re finally getting it.”

His fingers moved up the length of your neck and around to hold the back of your head. Then he pulled you in, lips meeting for a kiss. In an instant you were easing into it. His tongue brushed over your bottom lip and you opened your mouth for him.

When you closed your eyes you imagined how it would look if he kissed you on your couch back home. Or if you were taking a walk down by the river at dusk and he pulled you in for a kiss. Or he took you to a Halloween party and kissed you in front of his friends. When you thought about it, really thought about it, all you could imagine was how happy you’d be. You could picture every perfect moment together, but it was hard to see the bad times. You’d never had a bad moment with Taehyung.

Teetering in the hammock you moved your leg in between his. Your hands moved to the back of his head and you pulled him in, deepening the kiss.

“You trying to out us?” He muttered, with very little concern in his voice. “Anyone could walk back here.”

“I am.” You grinned, your body easing over his, carefully so that the two of you didn’t tumble out onto the ground. “Do you think if I leave a mark anyone will ask about it?”

“Let’s find out.”

Taehyung dropped his hands to your hips and you kissed your way down to his neck. He groaned while you sucked lightly on his soft, golden skin. Then you felt his hands slip into the back pockets of your shorts to grip your butt. You were finding out that he enjoyed having his hands full of you, and your ass was his favorite filler.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered against your ear.

“You’re sweet.”

“You think we can fuck without falling out of the hammock?”

You laughed against his neck, “That’s less sweet.”

“You wanna try though.” You hummed, bringing your lips back to his for a kiss. You rolled your hips against him to test out the motion and he smirked, “Oh yeah, you definitely want to try.”

It was almost the end. The end of summer vacation. Possibly the end of your short lived relationship. There was only a week left. The luau dinner was set for Friday. Flights started heading home early Sunday with Jin who left at dawn. Yours left Sunday evening, an hour after Taehyung and his parents were set to leave.

You didn’t want to stress about having to make a decision. You wanted to relax. You wanted to enjoy your last handful of days in heaven with Taehyung. Taehyung who had ditched you that morning to go on a hike with his dad . You didn’t mind the alone time, you didn’t want a lot of it, but you were managing just fine.

The sun was a welcome feeling on your skin as you laid on the floating dock. One knee was bent while the other leg was stretched out across the wood paneling. Your eyes were closed but you could still hear Tae’s arrival, splashing as he pulled himself up on the dock.

“Sorry, I’m late.” He said kissing your shoulder lightly dripping water all over you.

You smiled at the feel of his lips on you, unconcerned by the water, “It's okay...just don’t do it again.”

“Maybe I can make it up to you.” He whispered against your ear, leaving another kiss.

“Doubtful,” You challenged, “unless you brought me shaved ice.”

You had a sharp intake of air as you felt his wet fingers run up your inner thighs. Wet tendrils of his hair brushed against your neck as he kissed and sucked at the skin of your shoulder. You could think of nothing more wonderful than the sound of the ocean clapping against the dock, the sun drenching the earth, and Taehyung’s lips against your skin.

He moved his face in closer, sucking on your neck, and you hoped to yourself that he was being careful enough to not actually leave any marks. The one you’d left on him had caused a stir and there was no way you’d be able to come up with another lie. One of his hands moved up your body to cup your breast and you moaned as his thumb brushed against your nippple.

“Careful Tae.” You let out a slow breath, trying to subdue the storm brewing in your abdomen.

“Mmm.” He hummed into your neck, he gave your breast another squeeze before sliding his hand up around your neck and then pulled away. You didn’t realize what he’d done until the ocean breeze was rolling over your bare chest.

Your hand reached to pull your top back up but his fingers wrapped around yours as he sucked your lip between his and pulled back. “I’m making it up to you. You should let me.”

You squirmed uncomfortably but it didn’t last long as his pink tongue brushed against your nipple. Your back arched naturally urging him to suck more into his mouth. He grinned smugly at the reaction and continued on. His tongue flicked and sucked your nipple as he reached his hand back up to the other breast to massage it. He rolled your nipple in a pinch between his thumb and forefinger. Your toes fanned out and then curled back in, your thighs slamming together as you ached for some sort of release.

“Tae stop. That’s enough, you made it up to me.” You said unsure of how much longer you’d be able to resist him.

“I don’t think so.” He said and turned your face to his, bringing your lips in for a kiss.

You released another moan this time into his mouth as his tongue massaged yours. How you spent so many summers not enjoying his kisses was a wonder to you. You thought back, vaguely, to the summer the two of you practiced kissing on the beach by the houses between surf lessons. You should have known then.

The whole time you’d kept your eyes closed, barely a care in the world. Until his fingers slipped over the patch of fabric between your thighs. Your eyes snapped open and you pushed yourself up on your elbows to look at him.

“Tae! Here?!” You asked, mortified as you searched the surrounding water for anyone and checked the cove for activity.

“Can you think of a place where we can get more privacy?” He asked, slipping his finger under the fabric and moving it to the side.

Your heart was racing, you knew he was right, but you checked the water and then the beach once more for any sign of another person just in case. Tae pulled your attention back to him as he slid one of his long digits inside of you. Just a taste.

“Oh.” You gasped, “Right.”

He sat up with you, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, slamming your mouth against his as he started to feel you out. Before long he added a second finger, scissoring them apart, bringing them back together and then curling them against your slick walls. You gasped, desperate for more.

“You’re so good at that.” You muttered against his lips.

“Yeah?” He smirked, “You like that?”

With a sense of urgency you slipped your hand inside of his swimming shorts, and curled your fingers around his already stiff shaft. He was still a little wet from the water and already a little sticky from the precum dripping from his tip.

“I really want you to fuck me.”

“Slow down a second. Let me make you cum like this first.”

“Please, Tae.” You begged. “I just need you inside me.”

The smile on his face was unbearably smug. The confession of how much you wanted him going straight to his head. “Well…fuck. If you’re going to be so polite about it.”

When you pulled out of the kiss your whole body felt like it was shaking with anticipation. You watched, impatiently, as he pulled his shorts down as slowly as he possibly could. Then he helped keep you steady as you threw your leg over his lap to straddle him.

He leaned back on his hands and watched you take over. Bathing suit bottoms pulled to the side you gave his cock several rough strokes before fitting yourself on top of him and sinking down slowly, enjoying the stretch.

His mouth fell open and he shuddered beneath you. “Fuck, that’s my girl, so tight. Perfect.”

He lifted one hand to your hip as you started a slow grind. Your hands moved over his chest, around his neck, and dug into his hair. With his hair fisted between your fingers you tugged and he threw his head back elongating his neck. Smooth and long, you went for the attack, sucking the skin into your mouth. You groaned against his throat as you continued to grind your hips into his.

“Who told you that you were allowed to feel this good?” You asked sitting back to get a better look at him.

He looked back at you from under hooded eyes, his wet bangs swooped across his forehead. “Don’t you know by now, everything I do is for you..”

You wrapped your fingers around his neck, truly wishing you could choke the smug look off of his face. You closed your eyes as you’d finally gotten a hit on that perfect spot. When you opened them again he was smiling at you, something dark and mischievous behind his eyes, per usual.

He rolled his tongue over his bottom lip and said, “Do it.”

“Do what?” You asked, dropping your hands back down to his chest but he grabbed one and lifted it back to his throat.

“Choke me.”

Your thumb brushed against his Adam’s apple. Your mouth was watering at the thought. He bucked his hips up and you gasped as he hit the spot again. You squeezed your hand around his throat to keep from falling off of his lap and he closed his eyes with a satisfied smile. He stuck his tongue out of one side of his mouth, really putting in work now. Bucking up to meet you with every thrust, each time you’re hand tightening around his throat. He lifted your other hand to his throat as well, wanting more. So you gave him what he wanted, cupping his neck with both hands and applying pressure with your thumbs against that delicate part of his throat just under his jawline.

Hitting a high he rolled the both of you over so that you were on your back. He started to thrust relentlessly, hitting you deep with every buck of his hips. You thought to drop your hands but he didn’t want you to.

“Fucking, choke me.” He gasped.

You whimpered at the sheer aggression and he hit your g spot for what felt like the millionth time. “Oh my god, Taehyung. You feel so good. I’m gonna…”

Your hands squeezed around him tighter than ever as you came, thighs trembling around him. Completely spent, your arms dropped against the wood of the deck. Taehyung's hips stalled as he met his orgasm as well. Your mouth fell open in unsuspecting pleasure as you could feel him release inside of you. He collapsed on top of you and you wrapped your arms around him, petting the back of his head as you both caught your breath.

“You’re a little freak.” You kissed the top of his head..

You could feel his boxy smile against your chest as he laughed. “You don’t seem to mind.”

“No, not really. Not with you.”

You closed your eyes, wanting to rest for just a moment. As you started to doze off under the warm sun, you thought for the first time and very clearly, that you were desperately in love with him.

Later that afternoon the two of you had separated again, Tae needing to go into town with his parents to help them with some shopping. The realization you’d had left you restless. You’d tried to stretch out on the couch with a book but couldn’t concentrate long enough to read any of the words. You had turned on the television, clicked through every channel, and turned it back off. In the kitchen you snacked from every plate and every container there was in sight, which just made your stomach churn in disgust.

You missed Taehyung. You loved Taehyung. Your body rippled with excitement at the mere thought of seeing him again soon. It felt unreal. In the pit of your stomach you still worried it wasn’t love the way you thought, that maybe it was lust. A summer fantasy, and if you brought it home you’d ruin something pure and beautiful. You needed to talk to someone.

Hanni? Your face scrunched at even the idea of it. Normally the person you would talk to in this situation was Taehyung and unfortunately he was a little biased. You felt a little like crying and a little like screaming with the frustration of it. So much energy was vibrating through you, you didn’t know how to handle yourself. Sighing in defeat you slumped down in one of the cushy chairs the living room had to offer and picked up the book again.

You’d barely opened the cover when you heard a shuffling upstairs. Your brows piqued with interest. Jungkook? He was supposed to have gone out fishing with your parents. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well, you’d thought to yourself. You offhandedly wondered if he needed anything.

Jungkook! Your brain sparked, you could talk to Kook. He was unbiased, sort of, and he already suspected something was happening between you anyway and no one in the world had known you longer than he did. If you were being honest about it, as much as he got under your skin, he was probably your best friend in the world. Even over Taehyung.

Throwing yourself out of the chair you bolted towards the stairs taking them two at a time, the excitement coursing through you once more at being able to talk about it. Once at the top of the stairs it took you two strides to get to his door. You barely knocked before swinging the door open.

“Bunny, I-“ you tried not to let your brain digest the scene before slamming your eyes shut.

“Fucking knock, y/n!” Jungkook was immediately screaming at you as he scrambled over his bed.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” In your shock you’d dropped your hand from the door handle and were now blindly searching for it. “I’m so sorry, Bun. I’m sorry. I’m fucking so sorry. I swear. I just wanted to talk to you...I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“Get out! Jesus, just get the fuck out!” You could hear what sounded like him putting clothes on but you didn’t want to open your eyes even still, maybe out of sheer embarrassment.

Your hands shook as you reached out to find your exit. Which apparently no longer existed in this realm and you were just trapped in some sort of sibling hell, “I’m trying! Fuck. I can’t find the door!”

You could hear him growl in anger and then stomp towards you. His hands grasped your shoulders tightly, and he turned you around. He shoved you forward unceremoniously and then you heard the door slam behind you. After a moment you opened your eyes to the dark of the hallway. Your heart was pounding in your chest from the adrenaline.

“Oh my god.” You whispered to yourself before stepping towards his door once more. You gave a little knock and were unsurprised to receive no response. “I really am so sorry, Bunny. I swear I didn’t know.”

All you got in return was silence so you turned to leave and then thought it over and turned back and called through the door once more, “Hey uhh ...I’m sorry, Jimin.”

“It’s fine.” You heard his voice call through the door calmly. He sounded amused actually.

“It is not fine! Go away!” Jungkook’s voice rang out after him. You didn’t know why but the reaction made you smile. As you turned to leave, for real this time, you could hear Jungkook bickering through the door. “It’s not fine, Jimin. She can’t just-“

“Shh. It’s okay…”

You blushed, pretty sure they were kissing, and hurried down the stairs.

You sat in the backyard on the oversized porch swing for what felt like an eternity. Some chill vibes playlist was playing from your phone as you watched the stretch of ocean before you. Picturesque to say the very least, closer to heavenly. The soft blue sky in contrast to the shimmering, dark blue water. The vibrant green from the grass in the yard. The oranges and purples of the flora that peaked into view. You took in every detail, trying to replace the scene you’d just taken in. You shivered at the thought of your brother being intimate with literally anyone.

When Jungkook finally came out on the porch he didn’t say anything and you weren’t sure what to say right away either. He had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans and stared out at the water too. At first, when he’d come out, he’d had his chest puffed out and had a stiff stance like he was ready to fight, like he wanted to argue. As the moments passed you watched him deflate, watched as he softened. He remembered finally that you were his sister, and realized that maybe this had been the best possible scenario on the list of things that could have gone wrong.

“Bunny, I-“

“Listen, I’m no-“

You chuckled softly at the two of you starting at the same time and he looked over at you, if only to roll his eyes. “You go.”

He sighed and turned toward you, leaning against one of the beams that held up the porch roof. “I’m not...I’m not gay.”

“I mean..I don’t…it’s…” you were at a loss, so you shrugged, “It's fine if you are. I love you. You know that. You know nothing changes.”

“Yeah.” He said quietly and then thought about it again, “I’m not though!”

“Okay, I believe you.” You said in earnest.

He looked at you with his big doe eyes. The ones that always got him out of trouble with your parents while you took the brunt, even if it was his idea in the first place. You loved him so much. The big idiot. With a smile you opened your arms up. He looked at you for a second and then slammed onto the swing next to you, letting you hold him.

“I’m really not.” He said again, “You know. You’ve met my girlfriends. I love women. And fucking women…”

“Bunny please...”

“Sorry, but you know.” He mumbled.

“I know.” You confirmed. You had him in a full embrace. One hand rubbed his shoulder, the other massaged his head. Somehow he seemed so small despite the fact that he’d outgrown you years ago. You sighed.

“It’s just…” he groaned, and you genuinely felt the frustrated sentiment of the groan as it was one you were very familiar with.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” You promised.

“I don’t even look at guys like that. I never have. It’s only ever been...It’s only,” he paused to gulp, “Jimin.”

“Those damn summer boys, they do have a way.” You said quietly. He hummed in agreement even if he didn’t know exactly what you meant.

The two of you stayed like that for longer than you expected. It was nice. You always worried that getting older would tear the two of you apart, so it was warming to know you could still have these moments. You’d used to hold each other all the time when you were sad or you were scared. He’d climb into your bed during bad storms and cling to you during scary movies. Then you grew up and affection between the two of you became null. Barely a hug when you saw one another during the holidays. Most of your physical contact was reduced to pinching, slapping or punching. Sometimes, no matter how old he got or how far apart you seemed, you would look at him and see that baby your parents had brought home. Your baby brother, your Bunny.

After a long silence you smiled to yourself, unable to stop it, it was the sister in you. “He’s a really good catch, Bun. Jimin’s always been so sweet and he’s got that ass that won’t quit.”

“You ruined it.” With an irritable groan he pulled out of your arms and glared at you as you laughed. “Yeah, we’re absolutely not going there.”

You reached out your hand and rubbed your thumb against his cheek, “I love you, Bunny.”

“I love you too.” He said with a small smile. “Thank you.”

The sun was starting to set before either of you spoke again. You’d just been sitting there, swinging, listening to music and watching the view together. You were sure your mother would have had a heart attack if she saw it. The two of you actually cohabitating so peacefully. You didn’t entirely believe it yourself.

Jungkook cleared his throat and asked, “What was your thing?”

“What?” You asked, confused.

“The reason you barged into my room unannounced.”

“Oh!” Tae, how could you forget? “Um. So...I kind of wanted your opinion on something.”

Jungkook’s entire body perked up. “Well I am so much more handsome and smarter and clever and popular and successful than you, how could you not want my opinion?”

“You done?” You asked, he nodded still looking smug. “Taehyung and I have been... hooking up?”

“I fucking knew it!” He screamed out in triumph, jumping off the swing so quickly it started to thrash around while you held on for your life, “I told Jimin. I TOLD HIM! Ohhh, Kim Taehyung you little shit!””

“Okay, Bun, please.” You waited until he settled back onto the swing. “It’s been more than just that though. We’ve kind of been testing out dating. I think...I’m pretty sure, I’m in love with him.”

You waited for another outrageous response, but it didn’t come. Jungkook just sat looking at you like he was waiting for you to finish what you had to say.

“Oh...that’s it?” He said realizing you had nothing more to say on the matter. “You’re not pregnant or something?”

“What? No! Isn't being in love enough? Bun... I’m worried. What if I don’t really love love him? What if it’s just a summer thing and I’m confusing loving him with being in love with him? I don’t want to ruin our friendship. He’s really important to me.” You confessed your concerns, “You know me better than anyone. Do you think I might really love him? For real love.”

Jungkook let out a small laugh and then shook his head at you incredulously. “The sex part of your confession was interesting because we’ve all been waiting for it. The love part...fucking boring. Oldest news. Iced tea.”

“Rude!” You said flicking his arm, but it didn’t amount to more than a mosquito bites worth of annoyance.

“Y/n...really?” He seemed genuinely surprised. “You’ve been in love with Taehyung for...decades now. You really didn’t know?”

“I knew I loved him, but it was just as friends. I wasn’t like in love.”

“Yes. Yes, you absolutely were in love and still are and probably always will be. God, seriously? Do you remember when we’d have those big sleepovers and you guys would just find each other in your sleep like creepy little magnets so when you woke up he’d be clinging onto you like a monkey. And the way you look at each other, like you’re always talking in code, so gross. How you guys are always holding hands? Best friends don’t hold hands like that all the time, I’m sorry. Not to mention that stupid wedding you had when you were like ten. You’ve always been in love with him and honestly he’s been in love with you for longer. At least he owns it.” Jungkook took a deep breath, finishing his rant.

“You knew about the wedding?” You asked quietly, you didn’t think anyone had seen you.

“Is that all you got from what I said?”

“No!” You whined.

“The night before, do you remember the luau? He came up to me and said he was going to ask you to marry him. Like he was asking me for my blessing or something. I told him if he did it I was going to punch him in the face. And the next day he found me and was all sullen and said how he was sorry to have gone behind my back but he loved you and was always going to marry you. He said we were brothers now and showed off his...whatever kind of ring that was. String? Doesn’t matter. Then I punched him in the face and I said if he ever touched you, he was dead.”

You did vaguely remember Tae having a small black eye for about a week that summer. He said he’d run into a branch which hadn’t surprised you in the least. It was also the summer you had both started pulling away from the group. You didn’t realize it had been because of Kook and that it was likely the reason he hadn’t wanted to tell your brother about this summer. If anything the fact that he was still so terrified of your idiot little brother only endeared him to you further.

“So he really loves me.” You smiled so big your cheeks hurt.

“Oh my god.” Kook groaned and rolled his eyes dramatically. “You’re such a loser. How are we related? Like, I’m honestly so cool. We basically have nothing in common, I don’t get it.”

“You’re sure though? Bun, I'm serious. I don’t want to ruin things with him.”

“Do you know what you asked me every time we talked after I came back from a summer you weren’t here? The first thing that came out of your mouth?” You shook your head, unsure. “It wasn’t ‘Bun, how was your trip? I’m glad you got home safe.’ It was ‘Was Tae there this time? How’s Tae doing? Were you nice to Tae? Did you and Tae hang out a lot? Did Tae ask you about me?’ Every time it turned into a conversation about Taehyung. Even when you weren’t here, even when you were on the other side of the world with your boyfriend. It’s always been him, you were just too dumb to realize it.”

You both turned as the backdoor slid open, your mother smiled out at you. “My babies. We’re back. Kookie, your father’s going to need help cleaning all this fish. And look who I found out front, just returning from town with his mom, like a good boy.”

She stepped to the side and Taehyung came out to the patio with a small smile. Your heart beat clear outside of your chest. You got up from the swing and went to him, throwing your arms over his shoulders. Your lips slammed into his and could instantly feel the shock in the way he tensed. He soon relaxed, slipping a hand through your hair as he kissed you back.

When you pulled away he was smiling from ear to ear, his eyes absolutely sparkling. “What are you doing..?”

“I love you too.” You smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Too?” He asked knowing for sure he had never said the words out loud to you despite how long he’d felt them. You looked at him knowingly and he just nodded, “Yeah, I love you.”

“Aww, finally! Been waiting so long for that. Too cute.” your mother cooed, before turning back inside. She called over her shoulder “Jungkook, don’t forget this fish!”

“We both know my sister can take care of herself.” Jungkook said standing up from the swing, chest puffed out significantly, “We both also know if you ever hurt her, I will end you, no questions asked.”

Taehyung gulped, “I know.”

“Good.” He said still in his threatening mode, you tried not to snicker. He looked the two of you over for a minute and before walking away he just said, “Idiots.”

For a long while, until the sun had set fully and the sky was dark around you, Taehyung held you against his chest.

“What are you thinking?” He asked quietly as you heard the sound of your family rummaging around in the kitchen, getting ready for dinner.

“I was thinking about how you’re not my summer boy anymore.”

“Oh?”

You lifted your lips just slightly and kissed along his jaw, “You’re my boy for every season, all the time boy. You’re my forever boy.”

In silent agreement he tightened his hold on you and pressed a kiss on the top of your head. As he looked out at the yard, more specially to the line of bushes and palm trees that marked the separation of your yard and his, the spot where he’d married you the first time as children, he thought what a perfect place it would be to ask you to marry him for real. He didn’t say the thought out loud. It took you a long time to come around to the fact that you loved him and he didn’t want to freak you out. So he kept the thought close to his chest, like he would with you. He could wait a while longer. He thought next summer would be nice.

#kim taehyung scenarios #kim taehyung fluff #bts scenarios #bts smut #taehyung x reader

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