#keep doing it tho

[morimonchi]

I made a list of all Real and AI characters in Duel Links so far! (with some of my own theories too)

So, one day I decided to take the time to investigate/study the lore of Duel Links because the voices in my head won’t shut up, is not an easy task since not many people archived that much info of the events and lore of this game until recent years. So, with the help of talking with some people online, the insane and cool people of Tumblr obsessed with this game and its lore as much as I am, and me playing the game myself and seeing the event and making my own theories, I ended up with this list! Warning: is a very long wall of text.

(shoutout to @cyberdragoninfinity and @fortuneangel on Tumblr, they are very cool and obsessed with the Duel Links lore which is based and their posts helped me out a lot, I even copy-pasted from some of  Cyberdragoninfinity’s lore posts and Fortuneangel's own list because turns out they made a list of this stuff too, very good for me it made my job easier, although it would've been cool to find out about that earlier and not after I finished my initial list that took like 2-3 days to make lol)

Ever since the game first came out, the clues where always there that the Legendary Duelists and NPC duelists were all AI made by Seto "mentally unstable" Kaiba, which is kinda fucked up to begin with.

However, they are pretty bland and boring AI, since Kaiba probably only had second hand knowledge of some of the Duelist or he meet them but doesn't know them on a deeper level to make a good copy of them (heck some of them he didn't even meet at all). It’s all stuff Kaiba either heard about secondhand, or was physically present for to see in some way. He made the best approximation he could, on his own, but they’re just that: approximations.

however, starting from a certain event, things got weird: The Yami Bakura Event.

Easy best example is the first ever event character, Yami Bakura. A fascinating character in Duel Links lore, simply because he's the first Self Aware AI! So now, all character after the Yami Bakura Event aren't basic AI copies like the ones before, but instead AI SOUL copies (that's how I call them at least, but I'll be saying AI copies here for easier understanding/reading).

Meaning that they are copies made by the Kaiba's soul printer machine (insert crazy explanation of what the heck that is supposed to be) that uses the memories of the people connected to Duel Links in order create the DL world and the new AI copies in it.

suddenly characters felt way more alive and "real", even evolving pass their latest character developments from the manga/anime somehow? (and yes, the DM world is based heavily on the mangaverse! but somehow the characters have memories from the anime events).

However, not all characters moving forward are AI copies, some are the actual Real-Life characters, so I will only talk about the Real Life and AI characters that are self-aware to some degree, and some AI that I think might be unaware-

If I don't mention a character is because they’re probably 100% AI copy with zero awareness of what's going on in this Cosmic Horror Trading Card Mobile Game.

DM WORLD

All other DM characters before Yami Bakura are normal old AI copies, they were made by Kaiba himself so that's why they kinda bad, specially Yami Yugi being the first one to be made, making it the blandest AI of all and not like the real Yami Yugi at all.

So, starting from the original anomaly we have:

-Yami Bakura: the first self-aware character AI copy, 100% fully aware of it and even comments on it.

-Yami Marik: AI copy, iirc I think he’s fully aware of it too? He’s just here to have a good (violent) time.  (EDIT: Fortuneangel on Tumblr was informed he’s fully aware of it, so yea, he’s an AI 100% self-aware).

-Pegasus: AI copy of mangaverse!Pegasus specifically; not only is he fully aware of that, he’s also aware of the multiverse inhabiting DL AND the fact that he’s dead! Fun!!!

-Ishizu: she’s a weird case I just got reminded by the fact that she like. can tell something is Amiss and wonders why she’s still wearing the necklace. So, she’s like an AI clone of post Battle City Ishizu being kind of forced to play out the role of mid-canon BC Ishizu, and she’s not fully aware of the details. ok cool Kaiba!!!!!

Now funny thing with Pegasus, when the Thousand Illusion structured deck was released, you can actually go check it and the text in front of it says:

"I'd like you to meet my key monster! Thousand-Eyes Restrict!"

so yea for this one Structured deck I think Pegasus pretty much told Kaiba "stfu this are MY monsters and I WILL present them!" which is very cool and epic and go Pegasus slay.

DSOD WORLD

Now here is where we have the man himself, not the DM one, but the DSOD one:

-DSOD, Seto "In need of goddamn therapy" Kaiba: who is 100% the real Seto Kaiba, playtesting and all that stuff. He's here doing crazy people stuff and playing God. I’m pretty sure DM Kaiba was only an avatar unlike this one, who is the real deal.

-DSOD, Mokuma: is also real and helping his brother with his ego projects and digital world domination or whatever the heck Duel Links is supposed to be.

-DSOD, Yugi Muto: is probably the only real Yugi Muto in the game, and is very sad when he duels AI Yami Yugi and I want to hug my boy Yugi pls.

Ok then, unlike the clear as day old and new AI copies of DM world, I'm pretty sure all the members of the DSOD world are the real-life characters themselves who actually got into Duel Links somehow (this is based on Joey's unlock event and the dialogue where he says that some KaibaCorp employee put a VR device on his head, I wonder if that happened to everyone else in DSOD World?).

Well, everyone except maybe that ugly humpty dumpty looking ahh dude, Scud is probably AI. Reason being he freaking died in the movie and we never see him come back, so I just assume he stayed dead and this is some AI error or smth, the game does say something about an error in the system when you get the Scud unlock available.

GX WORLD

Ok so, at first, I didn't think any of the GX would be the real versions other than Jaden/Yubel, but after some research I found info that makes it seem likely that Dr. Crowler of all people might be at least 1 of the real ones, this is because in his event he says something along the lines of “…Unbelievable! There are so many Duel Academy students here! WHEN THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN CLASS! If they stop showing up to my class, Duel Academy will cut my salary...”.

There’s also another dialogue with Jaden where Dr. Crowler says he’s on vacation so, we can be sure that AT LEAST Dr. Crowler is a real person, and that he got into Duel Links on his own.

And again, I found this info of Dr. Crowler and I’m like “ok so is just this two people, Jaden/Yubel and Dr. Crowler, cool” but then I found new info and…

THE CHAZZ

Yeah, Manjoume Thunder of all people is ALSO probably the real deal, the one and only, The Chazz himself. And that is only because of the “friends” he brings with him, Ojamas Yellow, Green, and Black wouldn’t be there if Manjoume was an AI, and even if they were they wouldn’t Leak Yubel's Event like Yellow did. I didn’t know this info before so thanks @ask-maxie-boy on Tumblr, owner of the one and only @incorrectduellinksquotes.

Then the list we have is:

-Professor Crowler: the one and only character I can say for sure is (maybe) real, like 90% probability of being real. If not, then I was lied to, backstabbed and quite possibly, bamboozled.

-The Chazz: another one with hard evidence to be the real thing, proving his humanity thanks to Ojama Yellow. truly only the best for The Chazz.

-Jaden/Yubel: is probably real? like at least he's aware of the AI copies and stuff, he knows about AND can see the other 2 Jadens and the one Yubel in the game, it should be clear as day for him.

-Supreme King Jaden, Yubel and Satorius: These are AI copies for sure but I don't know if they are aware of it.

-Jim Cook: He’s suspicious of Duel Links during his Character Unlock Event iirc, not sure if he's the real one or an AI.

And everyone else in GX is a mystery! I can’t say for sure if they are AI or not and don’t have enough clues to make a strong argument for neither of the two options.

5D'S WORLD

-Team 5D’s: WELL OK I WOULDA SAID THEYRE AI BEFORE BUT THIS LAST CHARACTER EVENT (Z-one) MAY BE IMPLYING THEY (yusei, jack, crow, akiza, and the twins) ARE ALL THE REAL DEAL SO.  THAT’S AN INTERESTING TWIST IF SO!!! (Fortuneangel on Tumblr said calmly). Yeah, I agree with this information.

-Bruno/Antinomy: 10000000% AI copy, is actually fully aware he’s just some code on a hard drive and has commented on it!

Not sure if he knows he's dead but knowing Bruno, he probably knows that.

-Kiryu: OK, hear me out, this one? I'm not really sure if he's real to be honest, BUT, during Z-one's event he had such a cool interaction with Z-one that I think he's a "post-canon" version of Kiryu????

which is very freaking cool and not something that I could say is AI. But again, is my personal theory that this Kiryu is THE real Kiryu, however, I could be wrong.

-Paradox: aware of his own dead, Pegasus dead, the Illiaster's deaths, the multiverse and that he is probably an AI copy (thanks for that Pegasus, very cool).

-Z-one: Aware of being dead and all that, not sure if he knows he's an AI? probably knows, if anything Bruno might've told him

-Aporia: indeed, all Illiaster are self-aware of being dead, yippieeee!!!

-Primo: AI copy 100% for sure like no doubt and probably unaware of it, a sad creature (also, during Z-one's event, he had a realistic depiction of a panic attack).

For the rest of the 5D's cast, I have no idea but I think they are AI? say some of them like the Dark Signers are definitely AI, no doubt, but I’m not sure about the others.

But then we have someone like Tetsu Trudge… Who I have no fucking idea what's the deal with him. Is he a copy of first season Trudge, the one with no character development? or is he the real one? He can’t be the real one, he’s a mean dude again! I really have no idea about him and it annoys me. I’m going to say he’s AI.

ZEXAL WORLD

Ok so, I have no idea what's going on with Zexal, I think almost everyone is AI? but like, I'm not sure? You see, events in GX and 5Ds are just repetitions of sorts, and everyone seems aware of it and having Deja Vus, that’s why I believe that al least some people in GX and 5D’s are real. On the other hand, we have Zexal which is also repeating itself, but no one is going "Hey didn't this happen already?", which is very odd and makes me believe they are all AI in there, and both Arc-V and Vrains are continuations of the original stories.

 however, we do have one group of people in Zexal that might be relevant:

-The Arclight Family (III, IV and V): probably the only real persons in Zexal, or at least, the only ones we know might/could be real.

during III's event, III decides to study duel links and find out what it is, why events are happening again, what the heck is a KaibaCorp, etc.

also has the theory that Duel Links is a Chronomaly of some kind, because you know, is III of course it's a Chronomaly he thinks about, but he’s theory has some merit I’ll give him that.

Now V... I forgot V's event, sorry, but he's aware too.

IV on the other hand, is also aware, but not because he figured it out or something, III pretty much just told him lol. Doesn't seem to care too much he's just vibing in DL. Of course, he's helping his brother when needed, but he seems chill about it.

ARC-V WORLD

I have no idea who is real or not. We know the events in Arc-V World are a continuation of the end of the anime, so that’s at least a good sign but…

Declan and Shay, Yuya, Sora the bracelet girls, all seem to be aware that something isn’t right here, but to say they are fully aware of what's going on I can't say. So even with the self-awareness, they are most likely AI, all of them.

They at least know the whole "Memories brings people" and are investigating what's going on with that which is cool.

I can say Yuto is most likely AI, same goes for Yugo and Serena. But they don't seem aware of it and think they separated from Yuya/Yuzu somehow instead.

The only one I trust might be able to figure something is Reiji, because is Akaba fucking Reiji.

VRAINS WORLD

FINALLY, A WORLD WERE NOBODY IS AN AI COPY (I mean, there's Ai, who is obviously and AI but like, you get what I mean lol)

So yeah, Vrains World is pretty much just a sequel to the anime so everyone here is not only the real ones, but also the only characters that are aware that the other worlds exist (aside from like, Yugi, Jaden and Yusei because you know, Paradox’s Event and Bonds Beyond Time, but they only know each other’s worlds/eras so they don’t really count).

 This is because in the Ghost Gal event they reach the limits of Duel Links and get to see the other Worlds (DM, GX, 5D’s, Zexal, Arc-V and even Sevens!)

So yea the VRAINS cast in DL effectively becoming horror movie protagonists wasn't on my bingo board but I'm totally in for this.

All of this happening in a free trading card mobile game… thanks Konami you epic.

SEVENS WORLD

Yeah no, they’re all AI SOUL copies let's be real here, maybe Yuga in a future event will do the classic Yuga thing and be like "Oh, I already knew we are AI and that this world is a fake recreation of ours, is the first thing I checked when I got here" or something. And I have hopes in Nail to be cool and epic and figure out the situation but for now the Sevens group knows nothing (except maybe Yuga, because is Yuga).

Now that’s all the characters we have available for now, once we get some new events and relevant information and lore, I will update this list to see if we can add someone else new or an older character that we didn’t know was aware this whole time! This was a fun thing to write, I hope I managed to explain it all correctly and that is easy to understand, if anyone has some information that they would like to share feel free to ask! Again, I want to say thank you to @Cyberdragoninfinity and @Fortuneangel from Tumblr for being so cool and having so much info on Duel Links lore available and for sharing with everyone, now I’ll see you all next time Konami decides to hit us with a sledgehammer of info out of nowhere in a Tag Duel Tournament or something, byeeeeeee!!!

#yea seems like i got a lot to say huh? #yugioh duel links #yugioh #duel links #duel links madness #so this what having a brainrot feels like #why is the lore of a free mobile game so deep wth Konami #keep doing it tho #it's very cool and epic #thanks to #cyberdragoninfinity #Fortuneangel #for the help and info

[butchingdyke]

i love when ppl talk about the sonic cast's trauma, it makes them more "human" and relatable (it makes me want to lay on the ground and cry for hours

ur very cool @neurotypical-sonic /gen

#keep doing it tho #we're here for it #sonic the hedgehog #sth #shadow the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #tails the fox #miles tails prower #silver the hedgehog #sonic fandom #sonic characters #sonic

[iceeericeee]

Tumblr notification: [insert username here] mentioned you in a post

Me: good lord, what kind of heart-wrenching, tear-jerking angst have they found for me this time?

#keep doing it tho #it’s keeping me entertained #tags #tag #tag me in this stuff #angst #good omens angst

[yagirlyubnub]

Why Tf is he staring at me like that

#Keep doing it tho #Smug ass bitch #john arbuckle #Babygirl #fictional crush #garfeild

[queenimmadolla]

see, this is why I rarely do horny hours. you guys always have me wanting to roll a 🍃 and 😶‍🌫️ up, just fuck me right up lol.

#keep doing it tho

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[obsob]

to be loved is to be held!!! print

#mine #cats #i made into. a5 print!! #i will still stock th larger one for now....i lov a5 tho its so nice. so compact #i had a good day today! went into the city and got notebooks and sticker and a poetry book i am going to hvae to read very very slowly #i can beat dyslexia . i can win #it is very cold also. perhaps will hve a bath tomorrow! and do some drawing :3 #i hope everyone has a nice evening #if u are wondering how cat is doing he is settling in good ! he keeps clawing at the furniture but hey. thats a cat

[kiashieart]

i found out about aa5 goatee concept art phoenix.... (GRIPPING HIM)...

#ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #phoenix wright #ace attorney spoilers #vaguely? #aa5 #i have not seen the second trilogy yet. tho i have been spoiled on a lot of i think aa4. waiting for the remaster :) soon. #the way i scrambled to draw this. a beast took over me. this is like bait to me. you do not fathom the power i have been given. #i was already giving him one but expect that i will be keeping one of these goatee designs for future timeskip nick art :)

[totallynotcensorship]

just wanted to highlight this one ziobot reply because they (don't) have a point

let's talk about israel's war crimes in the west bank. or syria. or Jordan. or egypt. or their decades long genocide and colonization of across all of palestine. and while we are on the subject did you know the US and UK are actively bombing civilian areas in yemen and have been for decades? or that 3rd world countries in africa(like congo) and asia are in such a horrible state because of colonialist countries destroying and exploiting them

it is almost as if israel and other colonialist countries are fascists... who would have guessed

DON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT GAZA

#do the ziobot a solid and keep talking #don't stop talking about gaza tho #free palestine #palestine #gaza #free gaza #israel #jerusalem #colonialism #social justice #imperialism #ceasefire now #international court of justice #palestine genocide #gaza strip #gaza under attack #boycott israel #south africa #politics #hamas #human rights #us politics #biden administration #israeli settlers #IDF #Genocide Joe #yemen #tel aviv #middle east #palestinian resources

[thenearsightedmicroraptor]

Seen a lot of posts about people coming into your notifications out of nothing and liking your entire blog, but here's a shoutout to the people who do Not follow you, who appear out of nowhere, reblog One (1) post that you are Not the op of, and then you never see them again. Where did you come from girl.

#EDITED bc I think this one goes on ppls recommended pages now #HEY GUYS the question in this post is rhetorical ! i don't actually care. you can stop telling me honeys its ok #i like the mystery. i don't needta know everything #also when i say shoutout. i mean it. i love you guys i am not annoyed. you're all wonderful. keep doing you. #posts by ME #tumblr #like ... you didn't find the post thru tags because I just reblogged it #i made no addition. how did you find me #be free you majestic creatures I'm glad I got to witness you in passing #how tf tho. #did you look at my blog but only one post made the cut. amazing. i love you.

[upon-the-snow]

early mornings after nightmares

#just realized I made a pinned post with this art before putting it up whyyy am I like this #anyway headcanon time: I like to think they hang out while the sun comes up after the doctor has a nightmare and they just sit and talk #or Donna will read and just keep him company (I love watching the sun rise it’s such a unique feeling! i suck at getting up early tho lol) #Doctor who #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #I need like. A platonic ship name do we have one of those for them? #my art #not super happy with it but ITS DONE #doctor who fanart #the doctor #catherine tate #david tennant #procreate #Digital art #uh #incase my handwriting is as illegible as I think : Donna’s says “worlds best mum” and the Doctor’s says “worlds okayest uncle” #okay this looks more like a sunset so??

[aalghul]

once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that’s puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.

and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. I’ve literally connected the dots

#we are not of course keeping zero year itself. what a mess. #maybe smth very similar so it’s still the riddler causing mass chaos! #the titans so we actually keep the no robin physically present in the story part the same #look. if we want zero year convo we need to give bruce a robin at the time. it could be 17-18yr old who’s not even in gotham bc he’s with #by time tim shows up he’s already attached to jason #and then steph’s robin suddenly for a bit but only for a bit. and then tim comes back but he’s in bludhaven for a while #i do think duke would think steph is really cool tho. and they reasonably couldve met as civilians #and then duke’s busy bouncing around foster homes the streets and looking for his parents #i wanted to talk about how much i love it and the tags are just be working out a timeline for post crisis events & post flashpoint ones (an #some of duke’s important events are related to things which are no longer canon. such is life. let’s do our best based on ages) #duke thomas #jason todd

[thejadecount]

I had a vision

#no seriously this is how they are #1987 tmnt #2003 tmnt #2012 tmnt #rise tmnt #rottmnt #the 1987 turtles are rays of sunshine who could do no harm (unless they wanted to) #the 2012 turtles are the tired parent/aunt/uncle figures of the group who try to keep eveveryone from killing each other #the 2003 turtles are going to kill the rise turtles #and the rise turtles are daring them to #this is it #this is the crossover #tmnt corssover #turtles forever 2 script writers take notes #THIS IS THE DYNAMIC #the rise turtles are just the batshit crazy children you know it #seriously tho leo and donnie are egging the 2003 turtles on purpose and you know it

[koipepo]

That omake of little Kabru not being able to show off his howetown sweets because of Misril gets to me a lot so...

Here's a happier Kabru (and Lairu)

#kabru #lairu #labru #laios #dungeon meshi #my art #my fanart #fanart #idk why i resort to fluffy fanart even tho i keep thinking and seeing gag/hornt lairu stuff #kabru is just so.. fascinating and actually endlessly tragic #i kinda like that ryoko kui doesnt try to over-explain or dramatize her characters that have tragic backstories. it makes her world that- #-much more believable and realistic. that being said i will devour more kabru stories from her #i kinda cant stop thinking abt kabru (and to an extent lairu) #ik in Lairu/Labru fanart Kabru is usually depicted as humorously in denial guy #but i see it everywhere and it made me think more of their more understanding phase in the epilogue #maybe laios is ooc here but i think he will also warm up to human connection now that he actually has people he cares abt around him #(and maybe because kabru is teaching him tips and trick to be a Normal Guy lmao) #im also not very good at humor so theres only so much i can do with gag lairu 😂

[temeyes]

no sense of direction

#no guys i TOTALLY didn't get lost several times when playing the cod games haha #ngl tho i keep going around in circles in Kill and Capture esp cuz it was so dark and sometimes night vision doesnt help lol #cod should do the thing that resi games do: yellow colored guides HSAHSHASHHAS #my art #2023 #call of duty #call of duty: modern warfare #call of duty: modern warfare ii #call of duty: modern warfare iii #cod #codmw #codmwii #codmwiii #modern warfare #mw #mw2 #mw3 #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #soap mactavish #simon riley #ghost cod #soap cod #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #art #fanart #digital art #digital drawing

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.