#just want to add that this makes the scene at Nina hit harder

[chirpsythismorning]

Can we talk about how Jonathan might've been able to clock Mike simply because of what happened with him and Nancy in season two?

This will be a long post, so you might want to strap in or save it for later.

In Will and Mike's case, it would obviously be much different from Jonathan and Nancy's situation, given that you know, they're gay. But we still have Jonathan arguably going through a similar experience as Will, while Mike is going through a similar experience as Nancy.

In s2, we see Nancy confront Jonathan about how she waited for him before getting back with Steve, which is a revelation to him. Then they're at Murray's and she's struggling to say she loves Steve, after a handful of moments between them that felt like she might return Jonathan’s feelings. And you can clearly see it in his eyes, listening to Murray imply that they have feelings for each other, with him looking back and forth sort of in awe of what's happening, like he's starting to question if she might actually like him back.

Will doesn't have that same affordance as Jonathan to really hope, at least not anymore. Which is why these relationships in s2 and s4 end differently for these two brothers.

Based on all the signs he was seeing that Nancy felt the same, Jonathan decided to take the plunge to admit to Nancy how he felt, and at that same moment Nancy had the courage to show how she felt. In Will and Mike's case, Will wasn't ready to take the plunge to admit to Mike how he felt, at the same moment Mike didn't have the courage to show how he felt.

What's so painfully hilarious to me about all of this though, is that Jonathan arguably starts the season in the same shoes as most of the audience, where from his perspective, it's becoming obvious to him now that Will like's Mike, but that Mike does not feel the same way.

First at Rink-O-Mania, Mike appears a little uncomfortable upon hugging Will. Then as the happy couple continues on their adventure into Rink-O-Mania, he watches Will lagging behind moping. And then unfortunately he's out of commission for the rest of the evening...

But once he's sober and back to being an attentive brother the following morning, we see him watching them at breakfast, with Mike barely sparing Will a glance, all while Will is blatantly staring, almost like he's waiting for Mike to look back, only for Mike to get up and walk away.

All of these instances gotta be SCREAMING unrequited gay love to Jonathan. He's already gotten signs for years that Will is gay, these are now just the signs that are instilling his suspicions that Will has feelings for Mike. He could have easily interpreted their relationship in the early seasons as young best friends, with Will seeming to have a crush on Mike, and with them growing up and that potentially including Will's straight friend distancing himself from him because he doesn't feel the same. It's not the most unexpected thing in the world considering.

But then there's a shift.

Suddenly he's creeping up on them talking in his room. And we know he was listening in on the conversation because he brings up Owens when he sits down. As he's eavesdropping, he's probably thinking something innocent like Aww they're making up! And like, hey! Even if Mike doesn't feel the same, which is okay and entirely expected honestly, at least he still cares about Will enough to make things right after acting so out of character. Still, I'm not gonna lie, that sounded a lot like flirting to me--

Then he's knocking on Will's door like 30 minutes or less later only to find Mike and Will back on their bullshit. Mike suddenly isn't going out of his way to ignore or put Will on the back burner. In fact, he's on his bed and they're talking, again! The door is even closed this time, which is interesting. This has gotta be a good sign in Jon's eyes. Nothing to worry about! Right? Right...?

But then suddenly this shift continues, going in a direction he probably didn't expect.

I mean, this is literally an identical jancy parallel we have here with byler on the hood of the car, with Jonathan right there to witness it. Despite him maybe only now subconsciously picking up on the similarities between Will and Mike to him and Nancy here, he's at least taking note (I mean he's even got his gay map out and everything).

It isn't until the van scene happens, that I think Jonathan starts to genuinely consider his suspicions, which is that Mike might actually like Will back.

EVERY time we get a shot of Jonathan looking back at Will and Mike in the van, followed by a shot of his POV from the rearview mirror, we're faced with Mike looking at Will while Will is looking away.

As Jonathan is hearing Will confirm his suspicions about his feelings for Mike, he's simultaneously witnessing Mike not looking at Will with disgust, but something more akin to reverence. All of those moments in the van that we witnessed, including all the ways Mike looked at Will and everything that was said, Jonathan was right there.

And what's even more insane about this scene, is that it circles back to Jonathan as a character himself.

I remember when people were talking about how odd it was that we never saw Jonathan with a camera in s4. After 3 seasons in a row of making his passion for photography a big part of his identity, that part of him was apparently absent entirely this time around... But was it really?

This is the same guy that said, "Sometimes, people don't really say what they're really thinking. But you capture the right moment, it says more."

Jonathan might not have had his camera in s4, but this was without a doubt one of those moments where he captured something more.

Something that I also think get's highly overlooked about this scene, especially when it comes to Jonathan looking back at them, being followed by a shot of Mike staring at Will, is that he could see both of their reactions the whole time, from beginning to end. Will nor the audience had the affordance of knowing because Will was facing the other way at the end, while we on the other-hand were blurred from even having the chance, despite Mike literally being in the frame. But not Jonathan. He even lets us see what he sees, a few times, but not at the very end, which would have been nice after they didn't let us see Mike's reaction seconds before this.

Let's just stop right there for a second though and circle back to what I consider to be the first time Jonathan really picked up on Will's feelings for Mike, which was at the end of s3, in a sequence that is a little too relevant to the van scene if you ask me, given that they are almost direct parallels.

While these parallels are pretty spot on visually, they are also near spot on narratively when it comes to the evolution each of these characters are experiencing.

For Will in the first scene, it's sadness that he's moving away from his friends in Hawkins and also feeling like he's losing Mike, after what looks like him and El making up, which makes him scared he'll distance himself again. For Jonathan, it's sympathy for his brother who appears to have some very deep feelings for his friend, feelings he can't quite grasp yet but soon enough will.

For Will in the second scene, it's heartbreak that he has to accept that Mike will never feel the same, knowing that supporting his relationship with El (encouraging it honestly) will likely turn out just as it did last time, with him losing Mike all over again, for the last time. For Jonathan it's sympathy for his brother who has now confirmed his suspicions that the feelings he has for Mike are more than just that of a friend.

Given that this parallel reinforces the same feelings Will and Jonathan had in s3 to now, why would this not also reinforce those same feelings that Mike had in s3 to now?

In the first scene, Mike was visibly distraught, with dialogue from Hopper in the background applying a little too perfectly with what he was feeling in that moment, which was scared. He’s apparently back together with El now, despite them doing just fine as friends for the last 3 months, as well as him and Will just having finally gone back to them being on good terms again. But now, it’s like he’s right back where he started at the beginning of s3, feeling obligated to be the perfect boyfriend to El, and as a result, having no choice in his eyes but to distance himself from Will. Mike then walks into his house looking like a zombie, almost emotionless stepping into his mother's embrace.

Now, I say almost emotionless because it looks like Mike was trying to hold back showing how he truly felt in this moment. He's not crying like he did in s1 when he lost Will that first time. Time has passed and things have changed (he doesn't want things to change). And he's trying his best to keep it together. But the in-focus close-ups make it clear that he is definitely not okay.

What's so impactful about these parallels is that it presents the inner struggle both of these characters are having, both queer and experiencing doubts, but in different ways and for different reasons.

Will is the one who covers it all up with lies, hiding the tears in his eyes, because boys don't cry.

Mike is the one who has never cried to them, just to his soul (RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!).

If you actually try to get a gage on Mike's in-focus emotions in that first scene vs. his out-of-focus emotions in that second scene, well they're not that far off from each other.

We go from Mike smiling vibrantly at Will, to him now slowly turning away to look back down at the painting, with whatever the hell emotion this is...

It's near impossible to catch because of how out-of-focus it is, but looking a lot closer, it honestly appears like Mike is feeling something akin to sadness that he's trying to mask. For a moment it even looks like he turns his head to wince emotionally, only to correct himself.

And call me crazy, but these shots also low-key parallel each other. Mike looking down trying to keep his emotions in check and failing miserably, only to look up and meet eyes with someone whose witnessing it.

With each shot before this of Jonathan observing Mike looking at Will, with him showing all the emotions Will never got to see and everything else in between, I wonder what Jon saw this time? Probably another thing he didn't expect.

Can you just try to imagine the silence in this van, accompanied by Will's muffled sobs, and then try to imagine Mike turning to look down at the painting, only to sneak a glance, and then go right back to looking at the painting, IN SILENCE, and then try to tell me how the assumption that Mike didn’t notice Will crying makes any sense, like realistically?

Yeah me and Jonathan are confused too.

Right now, Jonathan's probably wondering why Mike was acting a little fruity and repressed during the painting reveal. And that although he may have a penchant for being able to 'capture the right moment', Mike is sticking with his story (despite all the stalling and doubt). He is 100% straight!

And so maybe this is where Jonathan tries to accept what is being presented to him as the truth, despite the contradictions in front of him. It's likely that despite the way Mike looks at Will and acts around him, in ways he would have assumed coming from Nancy in s2 would've been evidence that she felt the same, it probably doesn't apply to Mike.

Maybe Jonathan's ready to accept that it's a lot more likely Will is experiencing unrequited love as a gay kid growing up in a small town, the most predictable experience a gay kid could go through, and in contrast Mike just feels too bad to let Will down easy.

Or who knows, maybe Mike could still be a little bit gay too...

But it doesn't matter anyways. Mike seems to be adamant about this and so there's really nothing else Jonathan can he do besides tell his brother he'll be there for him no matter what. And so he does just that.

But then Mike just has to surprise him one last time.

For those that don't know, the line Mike gives here in his monologue was in part pulled from Will's monologue in the van. Most don't know this because this line didn't make the final cut for the van scene, but in the official script the writers posted, what we find is an almost a direct parallel.

Which makes the reaction shots of Will and Jonathan directly after Mike says this all the more epic.

From Will's end he was probably hearing Mike say this and just thinking 'Damn. Well, that's what you get for using your feelings to inspire Mike to profess his love to El.'

But from Jonathan's end, I don't think his outside POV of these events overlapping was nearly as naive as his brothers understanding of the events. Because why the fuck would Mike need to use Will's feelings to inspire him to profess his love to El in the first place? Is this what Mike has been struggling with? Really? Why before every moment Mike takes action in this scene, is Will's hand literally pushing him into it? Why is Mike being so dramatic about saying I love you, stuttering and rambling about her being a superhero, not saying nearly as meaningful of things as what Will said in the van?

And then it hits him.

Mike is reminding him a little too much of another Wheeler right now...

Nancy Wheeler, who was afraid of what would happen if she accepted herself for who she really was, leading her to retreat back to the safety of Steve. Because Nancy liked Steve, but she didn't love Steve.

And now here is Mike Wheeler, who has went from being incredibly distant with Will after reuniting with El, something that is very unlike the Mike he knew in previous seasons, to something more himself again after they make up, with him looking at Will with adoration after hearing his words in the van, only to turn away and look heartbroken. Mike who is now struggling to simply tell El he loves her with Will right behind him literally yelling at him to do it.

And now it's like all those little moments are starting to add up to Jonathan.

Suddenly all those signs he picked up on from Will when he was younger are now blending in with moments Will shared with Mike. It was Mike who jumped in after him and his mom's speech to Will in the shed in s2, with tears in his eyes recalling the day that they met (without being asked, let alone pushed to). And it's Mike who is now looking like he's at war with himself as he attempts to give encouragement to El, just like he did with Will in s2, but this time he needs someone to push him to do it, and that person just so happens to be Will. After just finding out about Will's feelings and also while assuming El wants him to love her that way still, Mike is stuck.

I don't think it's takes a genius to consider Jonathan is capable of realizing how fucked they all are in this situation.

As much as Mike isn't ready for a sleuth of reasons, Will isn't ready either.

This provides a huge contrast between the bylers ², because while Jonathan and Nancy went through a similar experience to Will and Mike, them being ready to accept it and act on it didn't involve nearly as many factors and risks. Will and Mike also have the added barrier that is homophobia.

Will's internalized homophobia lies in part with assuming Mike could never feel the same based on some of the words he said in their last two fights, with parts being painfully reminiscent of the things his dad and bullies used to say about him. These are also words that contradict Mike's own words and actions from the previous seasons, things that did once give Will hope. The shame and guilt that comes with falling for your best friend, who you now know will never feel the same after being foolish enough to believe it not too long ago, and who might not even want to be your friend anymore upon finding out the truth, is understandable. He can't have hope like Jonathan can. It's just not the same.

Mike's internalized homophobia lies with assuming El wants him to love her, along with their relationship being expected and socially acceptable from everyone around him. Though unfortunately for her he feels abundantly more in love in the moments he shares with Will. Despite trying to make it work with El as hard as he could, because she's amazing and all any guy could hope for in a girlfriend, he can't ignore the fact that the feelings he has for these two people are different. The shame and guilt that comes with you, a boy, falling for your best friend, who is also a boy, and who is starting to show that he feels the same, all while you can't muster up the courage to break up with your girlfriend, nor can you muster up the courage to tell her that you love her, not when she's begging you, dying or even just simply at the end of a letter, is pretty understandable too. He can't have hope like Nancy can. It's just not the same.

Spoiler: They were not ready.

PS: I'm still not over the fact that they low-key confirmed these events elsewhere in the story...

#byler #st analysis #pocketgate #lettergate #i'm aware this is a hot (big brain) take #but i'm like 76% sure mike understood will in the van scene #also why mike is gonna finally be dealing with some personal business in s5... #just want to add that this makes the scene at Nina hit harder #also #mike trying and failing to tell el he loves her or break up with her at surfer boy and stalling because he just can't fucking do either? #mike's face when will pushes him to profess his love to el right in front of him??? #honestly i dont think mike would've gone through with his monologue if he didn't think this is what el wanted in large part #i think he thought that if he did break up with her she wouldn't need him at all anymore #or more specifically if told her the truth she might hate him for it and just not want to be in his life in the aftermath of that #this is why he struggled so much with being honest #it was either lie and suffer but get to keep her in his life most likely or tell her the truth and potentially lose her and still suffer #it's just that now he has literally no choice but to conform and be with her all while knowing it's not what his heart truly wants #the heart not being true to himself jumpstarted the apocalypse #everyone act surprised #byler getting jonathan’d in s5 can be something so personal #no but imagine jon getting even more signals mike feels the same 😭 #and he tries to talk to will about it but will just gets upset like pls stop why are you saying this? #or imagine him talking about it subtly with Nancy and her being like no way #only to see it for herself #maybe then Nancy would try to talk to Mike about how he’s feeling #idk I could genuinely see byler just getting byler’d individually #but it’s clear at this point Jonathan is extremely suspicious #honestly all I think it would take is him having intel about their previous fights #if he found out mike defended his behavior by insisting that they’re friends… #jonathan would just be like… oh shit.. the first lie…

[brekker-by-brekkerr]

general messy thoughts about sab s2 (spoilers ahead)

Things I liked:

- Genya. Daisy Head SLAYED completely she was SO GOOD. I didn’t like them downplaying her scars and I wished we had gotten the line “I am not ruined I’m ruination” especially knowing how much that line means to so many people but other than that Genya was everything Daisy did an INCREDIBLE job of playing her. I actually got teary-eyed at several points this season (and me and my emotions are not at all close so that’s a feat) and they were all either Genya or GenyaDavid scenes, which brings me to…

- Genya and David. They were so good. So wholesome. The best part of this season IMO. Like their brief scenes, them hugging in the woods, the tiniest moments STOLE the show. I cried for these two and these two alone. Also, David was so well-portrayed like I loved these two so much. 

- Several soft Malina moments that gave me butterflies and I felt accurately showed their dynamic, more toward the beginning of the season but they were there.

- Jack Wolfe as Wylan. I have some not-so-positive thoughts about the aged-up crows in general, but I still think Jack was a convincing Wylan and you can tell from both the show and from his interviews that he really cares about Wylan and his portrayal. Every time he LOOKED at Jesper I was like…wow just WOW.

- Getting to see Nina interacting with the Crows was nice. Especially when they turn around and she has waffles and Kaz has that annoyed moment but then we find out Nina got them the info they needed because she’s a spy and she’s incredible? 10/10 and one of the few moments that felt accurate to the real crows. Also, that part where she was talking to the guard and pretending she needed to pee (idk that was a weird way to describe it I know) but that was so Nina

- Also, just them together in a restaurant vibing was what I needed

- “The barrel doesn’t belong to kings. It belongs to bastards.”

- Tolya and Tamar were so cool in their introduction like they’re so hot and cool and powerful ahh

- When Genya, Alina, and Zoya are all at the Darling’s funeral pyre that was chilling

- The slivers of foreshadowing with Zoya.

Things I didn’t like:

- The weird slow motion in some of the fight scenes was so unnecessary lol

- Okay I’m not a fan of the Darkling and I’ve made that quite clear in the past, but I do think he’s a good and interesting villain and I like the Flavour he adds to the story but this season the Flavour was just…not there. It’s funny how many Darkling stans I’ve seen angry about this season because for once we’re in agreement. Like he was so boring and weird and just creepy instead of interesting and creepy? I wanted to skip all his scenes. Also, they took out so many of the awful things he did in the books like what about him killing Ana Kuya? When he says “you’ll have no shelter but me” that line hits so much harder and is so much more chilling and awful because he’s literally killing off the people in her life. Turning Nikolai into a monster himself?? The moment Alina loses her powers in the books and the Darkling tells her she’s nothing is SO IMPORTANT because it shows he’s just interested in her for her powers, which is a big theme in the books. As wonderful as Nikolai is, he needs Alina for what she can provide for Ravka. The Apparat just sees her for her power. Everyone wants to use Alina for something except for Mal who just wants them to be happy and able to make their own choices. Anyways, the Darkling didn’t feel like the Darkling from the books at all. Also, he was just cringy. Like I was laughing when he was like “I have returned. And I’ve made some new friends” and stared at the camera it was so bad.

- Ruin & Rising is my favourite from the trilogy and I was so disappointed with how much was cut out for the most random crap, like hallucinating and eating butterflies?? Instead of the bonding time with the whole TGT crew? And no Oncat I’m crying. There’s so much character growth that happens and so many relationships that are deepened in Ruin & Rising and WHERE WAS THAT?

- Personally, I didn’t think Paddy was giving Nikolai. Like he seems like a good person and actor and all that jazz but he just didn’t feel like Nikolai and since Nikolai is my favourite, this kind of hurt.

- Erasing Mal from the story and his struggles. Look, Mal is not by any means a perfect character. And he doesn’t need to be. Let him be messy. Let him struggle and sometimes be rude and make mistakes because that’s real that’s compelling. They could have shown all the book!Mal haters that maybe they were being too harsh on him because he was struggling SO MUCH but instead they just turned him into Perfect Supportive Man. His character growth in Ruin & Rising is so good especially after you’ve spent Siege & Storm thinking “what is going on with this man.” Seeing him owning up to his actions and seeing him working on his flaws and seeing his support for Alina is so good and we deserved it especially considering how talented Archie is.

- Cutting Zoya almost completely out, especially since this is the book where she goes through a lot of growth. Also, the fact that Alina choices they’re making are cutting into Zoya’s future story >:(

 Things I HATED:

- Killing off David. WTF. Obviously we didn’t see a body so he might come back but like…what’s the point. We didn’t even get to see Genya and David get married.

- Almost all of the Crows content. The rushed Crooked Kingdom plotlines with none of the significance from the books. Rushed Wesper. Matthias working with Pekka. Nina’s character completely revolving around Matthias. Kanej focusing on Kaz’s trauma but not Inej’s and making her contract with the Menagerie all about Kaz and his vendetta against Pekka and killing off Tante. Actually, pretty much everything Kanej this season was so awfully handled. Also, just not a fan of the Crows being aged up and I tried to be okay with it but this season made me more upset with the casting choices. The Crows stuff was so so so badly done I want to cry. Comfort rereading the duology right now

- The ending. Just…frick the ending. I hate it. Too many thoughts I just hate it I can’t even talk about it

- I’ve already reblogged a lot of posts that go into things I hated but just in general it was such a mess they combined too many stories without doing them justice and there’s more I’m upset about but this is it for now

#anti shadow and bone #anti sab show #anti s&b show #shadow & bone #sab show #sab s2 #sab season 2 #shadow and bone s2 #shadow and bone spoilers #sab s2 spoilers #anti the darkling #anti darkling #anti darklina #malina #malyen oretsev #genya safin #genyadavid #six of crows #grishaverse

[beyondd-dazedd]

here’s an analysis of the angst between redlynn and rini and the main portwell scene in episode 8 because i have so many thoughts so grab a drink and relax because this is going to be a long one:

both larry and julia’s acting in the scene in ash’s room was incredible. you know exactly how both characters are feeling because it’s so perfectly written on their faces. but larry really goes above and beyond with the way he’s portraying his emotions in the little things like his eyes tracking and the choppy turning and the flickering eye contact. its incredible. seriously.

DOMESTIC EJ AND GINA!! i loved this scene it was so sincere and heartfelt. i wish EJ wasnt so down on himself. yes he’s made some mistakes. a lot. but he’s a teenage boy and he’s come SO far. and matt portrays that so so so well in his acting. that sense of self consciousness under the bravado that EJ puts on. DONT GET ME STARTED ON SOFIA. her acting is BEYOND INCREDIBLE. she has a way of delivering her lines so genuinely and like she has experienced every single thing that her character has. it never feels like she’s acting. seeing these two characters who are so unsure of themselves but put up this mask and then finally get the chance to break down those walls a bit with each other and finding comfort is so beautiful and makes this scene that much more impressive. i don’t feel like im watching a TV show when i watch this scene. i feel like im watching two teenagers try to break down their walls and be vulnerable with each other because they understand each other in a lot of ways. Matt’s line delivery of “that’s what you think of me?” was so soft and so different from the way EJ normally talks that it really hits. this is a boy who has no idea who he is other than his mistakes and the expectations from other people so hearing gina say that to him is such a vulnerable moment for him and Matt killed it. also sofia’s line delivery after that where she back tracks when she says “you’d see what I... the rest of us see” is so genuine to gina’s character. gina hasn’t put down her walls quite yet but she’s trying to. her whole life she’s used to steeling herself and not getting too attached. and here she is allowing herself this moment of vulnerability with this boy who GETS her even if she corrected herself that moment is still there. and then her trying to deflect when EJ tries to compliment her is her realizing she let herself be vulnerable and tries to not let EJ break down those walls any more than he already has. but he does because she needs to hear these things as much as he does. their soft looks at the end of that scene is just so genuine and heart warming. they get each other and they support each other in ways a lot of the other characters can’t. sofia and matt’s acting compliment each other so well and you can really see that in this scene. this is such a moment of genuine vulnerability between these characters and both of them portray it so well to these characters personalities.

now that i’ve analyzed the shit out of that scene let’s move on to the rini scene. because good god. there’s a lot. i like at the beginning of this scene there’s a lot of reminiscing which obviously sets us up for the whole issue with their relationship at this point. they’re both stuck trying to hold onto something that’s in the past whether that’s their relationship as a whole, who they were or who they’re trying to be for one another. the career day metaphor do be a metaphor for nini’s progress as a person and their relationship. like nini said it’s always been nini and ricky and there hasn’t been much diverging from that their whole lives. the acting in this scene is perfect. josh’s resigned and almost stoned reaction is perfect for where ricky is right now. i think ricky knew this was coming but he’s obviously still hurt and is trying to stay strong for nini because it’s obvious this is devastating her. he does a good job capturing that with his line delivery and how it’s almost robotic like he’s steeling himself for the inevitable. olivia’s acting is so heartbreaking. her facial acting from when she says “ricky that’s not ok” to when the camera is back on her after ricky’s lines is devastating. like it took her time to process this new information. her delivery of “i don’t like running away” is so hard to watch because yes she’s upset but she knows exactly where this conversation is going and you can see that. you can also see the ramp up to her trying to break up with ricky. also josh’s like thick swallow he does while he’s trying to hold back tears?? sir?? ouch. also them both saying i don’t want to hold you back and nini saying can i just hold you now? BIG OUCH. and ricky trying desperately to comfort her. it’s always been nini and ricky and then they broke up the first time. it wasn’t mutual and ricky assumed it was a pause and not a break up so there wasn’t the magnitude of the loss on both sides. but now they’re at a place where they are both agreeing to let each other go and they’re having to make a mature decision to let the other grow before they can be nini and ricky again is so sad. they’re saying goodbye to a decade of who they were together. ricky taking off the necklace and nini crying harder is so DEVASTATING. also the “goodbye nini” is so significant. he’s letting her go to be the best version of herself because her identity is so wrapped up in who she is with ricky. he’s literally saying goodbye to nini so she can be nina (metaphorically and a bit literally) and just watching nini cry harder is big ouch. i won’t say too much about how this scene might be related to josh and olivia as people because it’s none of my business but i will say that this scene was acted so well by both of them and you can tell that it comes from their own personal experiences which makes this so much harder to watch. i could spend 100k words just analyzing the emotions and the different subtle acting choices that are in this that really makes this scene incredible but i’m not tryna make a novel here. additionally this really adds to my theory about ricky being the metaphorical beast. this is kind of at a turning point in BATB where the beast lets been go to save her father but in this case nini is trying to save herself and become a better version of nini. this is also the point in the movie when you can REALLY see belle’s love for beast so i’m interested in seeing what they decide to do next with rini.

howie’s singing?? PERFECT. he really had a glee moment but i will allow it because it’s just so damn good. EJ cover gina up so she can sleep more comfortably is so sweet and also shows how their relationship is progressing. they’re helping each other in little ways but sometimes those are the most important. red and ash starting to be on the same page?? amazing. a main part of relationships is trying to understand one another and learn what is important to each other. and i think ash getting the shirt is a good representation of her starting to understand red. good for EJ for telling his dad that he isn’t going to duke. GOOD FOR HIM. red and ricky’s hug BROKE ME. ricky isn’t outright sobbing when he walks into the room and he’s not saying anything but red knows. he knows just from ricky’s body language that he’s distraught (friendship goals). red’s hold on ricky is so tight and strong which is literally everything ricky needs right now. also the reoccurring theme of ricky hugging a pillow while he’s upset is something so special to me. red’s little pat on ricky’s leg says a lot about their friendship. no words have to be spoken for them to be there for each other and comfort each other. nini reminiscing and then looking at her insta? nini 2.0 anyone?? or should i say nina?

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts spoilers #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #ej caswell #gina porter #ashlyn caswell #big red #rini #portwell #redlyn

[fadistans]

My problem with the In The Heights Movie.

Don't get me wrong, I adore the movie so much but here are my complaints. Also spoilers for the movie and the musical!!

:readmore:

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They changed the lesson of the story from, ‘as long as there is someone to tell your story, you and your experiences will not be forgotten, your legacy will be carried on’, to, ‘everyone has a dream that they work hard to achieve, and sometimes that dream can change’. And this just doesn't work super well for the movie because there’s still leftover unfinished remnants of that original take-away. They got rid of some songs and added new story lines and new scenes but it feels incomplete because the existing plots are cut too short and the new ones feel underdeveloped.

The flow of the story is way different. The musical brings you on this rollercoaster of emotions, having most things take place in a span of only a few days, bringing you on this ride of seeing the characters being brought up and brought back down and brought back up even higher only to crash even harder. However, the movie moves scenes around and adds new ones, and the emotional impacts you feel dont hit as hard in certain parts.

Abuela Claudia’s death is supposed to be this big important thing, the reason everyone realises how important the barrio is. She’s the reason why Usnavi wants to leave the barrio and go back to the carribean, and she’s also the reason he stays and realises that he has to carry on Abuela Claudia’s legacy of keeping the stories of the barrio’s past, present and future. Abuela Claudia is the reason why Nina realises that she has to go back to Stanford and represent the latino community, show them that they’re just as important, and follow Abuela Claudia’s feelings of showing their dignity and importance. In the musical, Usnavi and Nina parallel Abuela Claudia’s story, and her death makes them realise that they can carry on their story, have the life that she didn't have. Usnavi becomes the new storyteller, and Nina realises that feeling like belonging does not depend on where you're from, but how you treat your surroundings. We see these parallels in the cut songs, Hundreds of Stories for Usnavi’s parallel, and Everything I Know and Enough for Nina. When you cut these important songs, the stories of these characters feel incomplete.

In the Movie, they change Usnavi’s choice to stay from knowing he has to be the storyteller of the block after seeing the Abuela Claudia mural, to ohh Vanessa hot I want her to have my babies + wow my dream can be here instead of Puerto Rico because i have a beach painted on my wall! They change Nina’s choice to go back to Stanford from realising she can live the life Abuela Claudia always wanted her to have, to inherit those dreams of a better life and finally take advantage of her opportunities to make them come true, to a commentary of undocumented folks, which is really interesting but it takes away so much of Abuela Claudia’s impact. Both of those plot lines can co-exist together but they just got rid of Abuela Claudia’s impact.

The movie took so much from Abuela Claudia’s character, and took so many songs of hers and songs mourning her. It felt like they really only left her as an afterthought. She dies and they feel sad for one song and then they're happy again in Carnaval Del Barrio which just... is not supposed to be there. They take her big moment where she’s revealed to have the winning lottery ticket and her big revelation to Usnavi, entrusting the money to him before she dies, to ‘oh Abuela’s dead im leaving now oh my god she won the ticket haha God ur so funny i gotta rush to the ticket office b4 I leave oh wait vanessa haha hi vanessa ur hot’. They took all her screen time (and the Rosario’s too) to give Vanessa a story that falls flat. I really like how they gave Sonny more character though because it really helps to flesh out why he does what he does and just bring his character to a higher level. It also helps bring In The Heights, a musical made in the 2000s, into the 2020s.

TLDR; they cut a few character’s stories to build new ones that feel incomplete. If the existing stories are cut from, and the new stories just aren't built enough, then it just leads to the movie having holes in the story, and it just doesn't feel complete.

#in the heights #in the heights movie #rant

[retvenkos]

There have been rumors that sab is going to include six of crows next season. Any thoughts?

whoo, do i have some thoughts™. 

i should preface by saying, though, that if you are excited, good for you! if you think it’s a concept™, it most certainly is, and if you don’t want to see hate for the idea, then do not read ahead. i have some things to say about the idea, and none are too positive.

let’s get into it...

lol, plenty of spoilers ahead. mostly for the six of crows duology.

✧ *:･ﾟ

first of all, let’s hit it from an obvious, show running perspective.

six of crows is a lot™. there is so much happening in that book, and even more happening in crooked kingdom. not only are there new characters to add and explore, but there is new lore and new places that would all have to be hit. already, i felt like shadow and bone season one went fast. there was a lot to establish, and even more to expand upon, and i think there is so much to cover that trying to squeeze it all in would be a disservice to the characters and the world, which is the exact opposite of what the showrunners want, since they are lining up the grishaverse to be the new fantasy hit.

especially when the shadow and bone trilogy is adding in new places and characters, i don’t see the need for them to shoehorn in the six of crows duology. i’m sure there’s plenty for the crows to do, during these following two seasons. in fact, i’d even be fine if they wrote the crows out of the third season (which would ideally follow ruin and rising) entirely and maybe threw in a cameo at the end to get viewers excited for a six of crows show.

basically, there’s so much to cover, and shadow and bone already hit the ground running. i think that adding in the six of crows story arc would be too much of a time crunch, on the runtime of the show.

✧ *:･ﾟ

secondly, i’m ranting about a couple of characters, and how they are not six of crows duology ready.

the easiest one to talk about is kaz brekker, because book!kaz is dirtyhands kaz. our first introduction to kaz in the boks is him telling an opposing gang member that he can’t kill kaz, because if he does, his girlfriend will burn in a fire, and no matter how fast he runs, he won’t get there in time. kaz is like... “do you smell that? i think it’s her hair burning.”

and this is a more mild transgression of dirtyhands kaz. in the same book, kaz pulls a man’s eye out, he swallows lock picks, and he plans and executes the greatest heist of all time.

compare this to kaz in the show. kaz in the show is just a mean, angry boy in comparison. and this isn’t me hating on freddie carter - he did an amazing job. and this isn’t me hating on the writers either. i understand why they did that.

decidedly, there is a lot™ happening in shadow and bone season one. you don’t really get a lot of time with any one character, and if you do, it’s the shadow and bone characters. the showrunners knew they had to make kaz a likeable character to people coming into the series blind, and kaz brekker is a pretty hard character to like when you don’t get his backstory or even the slightest hint of it. part of what the six of crows books had going for it was the changing point of views, and inej’s trust and feelings for kaz. inej narrates a lot of stuff, and she does it in a more sympathetic way, making us give kaz the benefit of the doubt - especially since inej is such an upstanding character. you get a little bit of that is the netflix show, but you can’t get a lot of it because (1) time constraints, and (2) inej and kaz are actually at odds for a lot of the show - especially the opening bit. literally, their first interaction is a fight.

so, to get newer fans invested in this emo teen, they made him less dirtyhands. this is also fine because these events happen before the six of crows duology.

if we start the six of crows arc in season two, however, there is too much growth for kaz to do in between seasons. we need to see some of that on screen. especially since his plans were a bust, and the most dirtyhands thing he did was with the inferni, and he wasn’t the one to kill the inferni - inej was. (and i love that scene like the rest of you, but there could have been other ways to get inej to save kaz while letting kaz show some more of that ruthlessness.)

and that’s just kaz. admittedly, he’s an easy character to pick apart, but we have to talk about a few more.

nina zenik? yeah, let’s talk about her. the six of crows nina we knows has a lot of guilt over what she did to matthias - even if a lot of it is repressed. she has a slew of complex emotions over matthias, and it’s all been fermenting inside of her for a year. point is, in the show nina still thinks what she did was right, and she hasn’t had time to question that inside of herself. sure, in the books she still posits that what she did was justified, but there’s a bit of uncertainty there, caused by the acidity of guilt. i want to see that war inside of nina. it makes their love story all the more compelling.

and while we’re talking about helnik, let’s just cover matthias helvar real quick, because, personally, his character needs that time spent in hellgate, now more than ever.

i’ve already mentioned my beef with aging up matthias is a few other posts, but why don’t i reprise it?

matthias is an incredibly complex character, and part of what makes his change earnest is two things - the struggle he continues to feel throughout the duology, and his age. now stick with me.

part of matthias’ struggle is that he is still that little boy whose family were killed by grisha. in the books, matthias is only 18. that seems mature, but by all accounts, it most definitely isn’t. he doesn’t know anything about the world. he has been training to be a religious soldier, where he was heavily indoctrinated. what has matthias truly seen of the world? likely, very little.

furthermore, because he’s only 18, how many expeditions has he been on? sure, matthias has seen grisha tried for their “crimes” and he has been training against grisha since he was a boy, but do you think they’re putting eleven year old matthias out there, against full grown grisha? my bet is he only started truly hunting grisha when he was 14.

when he meets nina, he hasn’t been hunting grisha long, and he’s young enough to where we could truly see how him being smitten with nina could impact his thoughts.

matthias in the show is played by a man who is 27. no hate, this isn’t ageism, but if he’s been hunting grisha since he was 14, he’s been hunting grisha for 12 years. he has gone out on numerous expeditions. hell, in the show they give matthias a large amount of credit for capturing nina. it is sO much harder for you to buy the “nina is a beautiful grisha and has changed my life” storyline when he’s 27, almost 30. furthermore, this matthias has seen way more grisha trials. the concept that he doesn’t know that grisha aren’t given a fair trial is just absurd, at this point. furthermore, you add on the fact that he’s been indoctrinated longer, and it makes his story all the more difficult to grapple with.

on the one hand, i understand that they aged everyone up (which i was happy about, for the majority of characters. kaz, i am once again looking at you). on the other hand, it puts a huge strain on matthias’ character, and if they were to try to juggle the six of crows plot with the shadow and bone plot, so much nuance would be lost and the majority of new fans would not understand people liking matthias. you would risk alienating his character (and nina’s, by effect) and that is not what either character (or actor!) deserves.

they’ve already made it so hard for us to buy the “nina changes matthias” storyline - even though they’ve made him a tad sweeter and more likeable - and if they try to fast track it, it’s going to fall through.

i think matthias needs his time in hellgate for some soul searching and some struggle. with matthias, the only way out is through, and we need to have time for that to happen.

inej and jesper are a little less difficult to juggle since they’re are done pretty well, but i don’t want to see their complexity and nuance fall through (especially jesper’s) because the show is doing too many things at once.

basically, the crows are currently in their fledgling state, and if they were to be thrown into the six of crows storyline, it would not be nearly as fulfilling.

✧ *:･ﾟ

finally, i just want to say that the overall genre and theme of six of crows and shadow and bone are completely different. i feel like there would be far too much dissonance in the show. you could already feel it in season one, but because alina fears being kidnapped and then she goes on the run, it works. six of crows, though, is a completely different show and i think it would be odd to shift from ~life aboard sturmhond’s ship~ to ~breaking and entering in the ice court~.

✧ *:･ﾟ

anyway, those are my thoughts, anon. surely you didn’t ask for this, but you received it, anyway.

#shadow and bone spoilers #s&b spoilers #spoilers #grishaverse #asks #kaz brekker #matthias helvar #i'm only tagging those two because i really only talk about them

[clockwork-fayz]

The Most Perfect Proposal

Alternate Title: A Very Disney Telenovela Proposal

Or the fanfiction that came to me in an actual dream I had and I had to write it. 

Matteo, Simon, and Gastón all get the idea in their heads that they need to propose to their significant others. A chance encounter at a jewelry store leads our three boys helping each other out to orchestrate the perfect proposal. Can they pull of three proposals? Not without totally unrealistic issues arising of course!

READ ON AO3

Or Keep Reading Here

Matteo stared at the rings in the case, his eyebrows furrowed. Before this moment he had thought that it would be easy to pick out a ring for Luna. He knew everything about her down to her favorite font to use on posters. He figured that he would be able to walk into a ring shop and one would just scream Luna to him. But this was the fifth shop he had been in, and nothing seemed to fit.

Matteo had been thinking about proposing for quite a long time before he decided to make it a reality.

In fact he could remember the day that he realized he was going to marry her.  It had been a year after they had started dating (the second time around).  Luna was sitting with Matteo in first class on their way to Spain to start off Matteo’s first international tour.

Months before, in the planning stage of his tour, Matteo had gotten the brilliant idea of having skating be a part of the concert and having Luna be one of the dancers. It was perfect for Luna; not only did she get to go on tour with her boyfriend but she was getting paid to do it. She had been in charge of the choreography and Matteo had to admit it was her best work yet.

Luna had never been to Europe before and to say she was excited was an understatement. She had spent an entire night researching every place that they were stopping and created a list of everything she wanted to do. Some more realistic than others.

“Mi amor, I don’t think that we will be able to do all of this.  Stalking the royal family will take a couple of days at least and we are only in London for a night.”

“But what’s the point of going to England if I don’t get to see one royal Matteo.  Honestly, why are we going on this tour then.”

Matteo shook his head at her amused. “You are right. Forget performing in front of sold out crowds, let’s get arrested for breaking into the palace.”

“That’s the spirit!”

It was the middle of the night on the plane, and Luna was fast asleep snuggled against him. The movie they were watching was still playing on the TV, the fast paced action sequences unable to awake her from her dead sleep.  Matteo wasn’t tired, but he was perfectly content watching her breathe.

She looked so peaceful, the blanket pulled up to her chin, her hair falling into her face. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was midnight in Buenos Aires. It was officially their one year anniversary.  Not that Luna would remember that it was their anniversary, she was terrible at dates.  But Matteo was never one to forget things like that.  He could still tell you the date and time it was when he first ran into her in Cancun all those years ago.

Who would have thought he would be here now with her? When he met her for the first time, there had been an immediate spark between the two of them, but he never considered that one day Luna would be asleep on him while they flew off on an adventure and with hundreds of memories behind them.  He thought of the first time he kissed her; how he had been secretly dying to do it for weeks and how right it felt when he finally did. He thought of every kiss afterwards, how even now kissing her made him feel like he was flying. Of how her walking in the room still made his heart beat faster.  Of how she knew him better than anybody.  Of all the walks in the parks, the scary movies watched, the jokes they shared.

It was an overwhelming feeling. It felt like he had hit a tidal wave of thoughts.  Once the thought was there, he couldn’t think of anything else.

He had to spend the rest of his life with Luna.  He was going to marry her.

The thought enveloped him as he watched her sleeping. It was an excitable feeling.

He knew he wouldn’t propose until far in the future. She would kill him if he proposed when they were so young. There was no rush. But from that moment on, the fact was in the back of his mind that she was his forever.  Even when they argued, even when the fights got so bad she was screaming at him and he would walk out slamming the door, even then he knew that Luna was the only girl for him.

Luna shifted, jarring him from his thoughts and making him jump just a little.  She woke slightly, murmuring “Everything ok Teo?”

“Si, mi amor,” he said, rubbing her arm, “Everything is perfect.”

Now it was five years later. She was 24 and he was 25. They had spent six years together, full of adventures, fights, makeups, and him adoring every moment with her. It was time to make forever official.  

As he stood at the case pondering what Luna would prefer, he heard a voice behind him.

“Matteo?”

“ Gastón ?”

……

You could say that Simón always thought he was going to marry Ámbar .  Even before they were together, and she still guarded herself with sharp words and poor decisions, he could only imagine a future where they were together.

There was one moment that really cemented it in his mind though.  He remembered it fondly. He was walking up to the apartment that they shared and could hear music blasting from the doorway. They had only been living with each other for a month or so.  It was a big step for Ámbar , who had always lived in mansions, to move into a one bedroom apartment in the city. She had been adjusting to things like having to buy your own groceries and cook for yourself.

Simón opened the door and Ámbar didn’t even notice.  She was standing at the mixer, spatula in hand and a mess surrounding her. She was swaying to the music and singing softly along as she read from the cookbook.

Simón closed the door loudly as not to scare her and she turned down the music when she noticed him.

“What are you doing mi amor?” he asked, taking in the scene in front of him.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be home until later, it was going to be a surprise!”

“Pedro had to leave for an appointment so I came home early. Are you baking?”

She gestured towards the counter. “Clearly. Though it is much harder than it looks. I’ve called Monica three times already.”

Simón chuckled, approaching her. “You have some flour on your cheek,” he said, brushing it off gently with his finger. “And your forehead. And all over your shirt.”

He leaned over to give her a peck on the lips. She smiled, before pushing him away.

“Well now that the surprise is ruined, you will have to help me. I can’t figure out how to add flour without it flying out of the mixer and all over!”

“For starters,” he said, assessing the situation, “You should start it off on a lower setting.”

Her eyes grew wide. “There are settings?”

Simón laughed.  “Here, let me show you.”

Ámbar watched closely as Simón taught her how to run the mixer properly. It was a lot easier now that Simón was showing her.

“It looks like we just need chocolate chips,” she said, grabbing the bag.

“But we have to hand mix those in, or a mixer will break.”

Ámbar looked back at him. “What would I do without you?”

Simón showed her how to fold the chocolate chips into the cookie dough with the cookie spatula.  

Ámbar tried a bit of the cookie dough and moaned in delight.

“Babe, you have to try this. I did so good.”

Simon let her feed him a bit off the spatula. “Mmm very good. Best cookie dough I’ve ever eaten.”

Ámbar stared at the spatula and then looked up to him with large doe eyes.

“I should bake more.” Then she turned to get the cookie sheet. He went to sit on the bar stool as she scooped the dough into balls on the pan. She was humming to the music again, focusing on making sure the balls were spaced evenly. And then it hit him.

He could suddenly see years from now what their life could be. Simón would still be making music, Ámbar would have risen in the ranks at Vidia. They would live in a house together with their kids. And although they would live busy lives, they would always make time for their family.  They would spend weekends making cookies, roller skating in the park, going to the beach. It would be a chaotic but perfect life.

Ámbar looked back at him staring at her.

“Don’t tell me that I have flour all over the back of me too?”

Simón smiled and went over to her, pulling her in for a kiss.

“No mi amor, I was just thinking of how much I love you.”

Ámbar looked at him confused but not complaining.

“I love you too.  What brought this on?”

“Nothing.  Let me help you get these cookies in the oven.”

It was thinking back to that moment that made Simón realize that it was time for him to propose to her.  He went to the jewelry store that day, not expecting to see two familiar faces inside.

…

…

…

Gastón knew he was going to marry Nina not long after they had gotten back together.

Breaking up with her was the biggest mistake he had ever made. He thought that he was helping her. He was on an entire different continent. They never got to see each other and the time difference was killer. He had convinced himself that it was for the best. It hadn’t taken him too long to realize that he was wrong.

He had tried to go out with other girls, but they were no Nina.  There was this one girl that lived down the street from him. She was gorgeous and she was obviously into Gastón . He had asked her out to a movie with him.

He should have known things weren’t going to work out when she wanted to see the latest crude humor movie. He agreed to go, to give it a chance. It was just as awful as he thought it would be.  

“Wasn’t that so funny?” the girl asked as they sat at a diner afterwards.

Gastón hesitated. “It wasn’t really my taste. I prefer sci-fi movies actually or movies that make you think. My gir- uhm my friend from back home and I used to watch old mystery movie marathons. It was lots of fun.”

“Hmm, I don’t think that I’ve watched one of those.”

“They are really good.”

An awkward silence fell over them.

“So what books do you like to read?” Gastón finally asked, trying to break the tension.

“Oh I don’t really read.”

Gastón nodded. “That’s alright. What about music?”

“Anything that’s on the radio.”

Why is this so awkward, thought Gastón . It was never this awkward on dates with Nina. With Delphi maybe, but Nina could have conversations about anything with him.  He remembered that one time they talked for an hour ranking every mainstream Shakespearean play.

No matter how many times he tried to focus on what the girl was saying, he could not stop thinking about Nina. And the girl noticed.

“ Gastón , I really like you but I don’t think we feel the same way.”

Gastón was snapped out of a memory of Nina learning to skate to surprise him.

“Que?”

The girl smiled sweetly and put a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s her name?”

Gastón looked ashamed but told her “Nina.”

“How long have you been broken up for?”

“I broke up with her a couple months ago. She lives in Buenos Aires and I am here.”

The girl sighed. “That is tough. But I can tell that you must really love this girl.  And if you love this girl that much,  you should try to make it work.”

Gastón took those words to heart and almost ran home that night so he could call Nina.

She told him that she had met someone. Gastón broke inside.

For the next few years, Gastón went on many dates but everytime that he got close to someone, he realized that he did not love them.  He started to wonder if he would ever find someone he loved as much as he did with Nina.

It had been five long years since he had last seen her when she came walking into the restaurant in Buenos Aires. It was like he had been sleeping for the past few years and seeing her had finally awakened him. The sky was brighter, the air fresher. She filled up his thoughts that night and into the next day. He had to tell her that he still loved her. He had to.

And he did. And she loved him back.

It was a few days later when Gastón had the thought that he had to marry Nina. Luna had called in the morning saying that Simón and Gastón were at the Jam and Roller and that they were going to meet them at ten and Gastón had no choice but to come with them.

Gastón was over at Luna and Matteo’s apartment in ten minutes to meet them. Nina answered the door wearing a sundress and her glasses and Gastón had thought it had been a long time since a girl had taken his breath away like this.

The four walked to the Jam and Roller, Luna rambling on about the changes Ámbar had made since she had become the head of Vidia.

“Honestly I was afraid when she said she was going to redecorate,” Luna said, “But Simón kept saying that I needed to trust her vision. I’m like oh yeah Simón , I really trust her vision. Did you ever see her bedroom in the mansion? Anyways it turned alright of course.”

The familiar exterior of their old home away from home came into view. It gave Gastón a warm feeling as he saw the sign.  

Luna was literally bouncing, Matteo holding her hand and giving her a look. It was obvious a surprise was waiting inside.

Gastón reached out and interlaced his finger’s with Nina’s.  The two walked inside.

A cheer arose as they did, and in front of them was not just Gastón and Simón , but all of their old friends. Jim, Yam, Ramiro, Pedro, Nico, and Delphi were there. Delphi was holding up a laptop with Jazmín on it. Immediately their friends noticed Gaston and Nina holding hands.

“GASTINA’S BACK?” Jim and Yam shouted at the same time.

Nina nodded, and the girls shrieked in happiness going to tackle Nina in a hug. Delphi dropped Jazmín on a table going to join, Jazmín shouting in protest.

After hugs and greetings, the gang settled in the cafeteria for juice.

“Are you back for good?” Yam asked, “Both of you?”

Gastón turned to Nina and smiled. “At least for a little while.”

Yam clapped. “You can be models in my fashion show next month! I’ve already recruited the rest of our friends too! It will be perfect!”

Nina paled a little, but Gastón squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“Ramiro, shouldn’t you be touring?” Gastón asked, “I thought you’d be in Europe.”

“I thought you would be in Europe,” Ramiro laughed, “I’m taking a break to train a team for the internationals. I get to skate and be here with the love of my life.” Yam smiled at him, grabbing his hand.  

“It is so perfect that we are all here!” Simón said, “The Roller Band recording their next album. Delphi managing the Jam and Roller. Jim being a dancer in music videos. Nina is writing her book and Gastón is taking a job here! It’s perfect!”

“Ahem,” Jazmín coughed from the laptop, “I think you are somebody.”

“Perdón Jazmín , I could never forget you,” Simón laughed. “Maybe you should come back too!”

Jazmín scoffed. “And give up this job in LA working for E! I can’t.”

Pedro raised his glass of juice.  I’d like to give a toast to the last pieces of our puzzle back together! To Gastón and Nina!”

“ Gastón and Nina!”

Gastón looked over to Nina. She was turning a little pink in the cheeks from all the attention, but Gastón could tell she was so happy.  He instinctively leaned over and kissed her hair, eliciting awws from their friends.

“I always knew that you would find your way back to each other,” Jazmín sighed. “Gastina was like the third most popular ship on Fab and Chic.”

Ámbar raised an eyebrow. “Who was first and second?”

“I’m glad you asked, I still have all of the statistics-” Jazmín started, but Simón cut her off.

“Why don’t we talk about this some other time Jazmín .”

“Agreed,” Luna said, grabbing Nina’s hand. “Nina, you need to look at Yam’s designs for the fashion show. They are muy muy chic!” Nina let go of Gastón’s hand, giving him an apologetic smile as she went to gather around Yam’s tablet.

Gastón watched her for the rest of the night, trying hard to pay attention to Ramiro’s tales of tour and updates on Roller Band, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting to wherever she was.

“Hermano, I don’t think I’ve seen you this bad since, well since you were with Nina last,” Matteo said while putting a hand on Gastón’s shoulder.

Gastón grinned. “There hasn’t been anyone else besides Nina.”

“Well make sure to not let her go this time,” Matteo said as he walked away.

Those words hit Gastón hard. He couldn’t let Nina go, ever again. She was the shining light in his world.  He wouldn’t be able to survive if she was gone again. This is why less than a year later, Gastón found himself walking into a jewelry shop one day in November, unexpectedly running into his best friend standing at the counter.  

#soy luna #lutteo #simbar #gastina #soy luna fanfiction #lutteo fics

[pixie88]

Tease

Chapter 9 - Together - Adam & Ellie.

A/N: Thank you again for proof reading and scene ideas lovely @aussieez​ you are a star! This chapter I wrote the NSFW scene after I had a few drinks Friday night, so I hope I got all the mistakes out. It also includes something that happened to me in RL I’ll leave it up to you to guess what it is haha. Hopefully you find it funny as I have we need to laugh atm. I hope you like it!

If you like it let me know or if you don’t still tell me why I won’t be offended!

I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this new series from now on as I don’t want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!  

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Song: Sia - Helium

Word count: 2123

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, NSFW, Mild Angst & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy!

After Nina and I had our nails done we did a bit of baby clothes shopping followed by lunch, which after Nina had a few drinks, so it turned into dinner too "Nina, can I tell you something?"

"Of course sweetie!"

"You can't tell Al! Adam and I were thinking Charlie could have Alistair as a middle name. Do you think he'll like it?"

"Oh, Ellie he will love that. That's so sweet!" she gets up and hugs me.

"Did you hear that Charlie bear you are going to be named after the two greatest men you could wish for"

I tear up a little "Nina, that's a lovely thing to say!"

She hugs me again "Aww Ellie, I didn't mean to make you cry, but let me elaborate on that"

I laugh wiping my tears "Ellie, I can tell your dad must have been a great man because you are a sweet girl and you adore my Adam. This is why I know you two will be great parents" This makes me even more emotional.

We finally get back about half 10 Adam and Al are already in bed, I open our bedroom door expecting him to be asleep, but I'm greeted by him in bed in just his boxers on his phone, he gives me that gorgeous smile "Did you have a good day beautiful?"

I start getting undressed "Hey, yeah, it was such a laugh your mum, and she's super sweet"

"She has a soft spot for you," he laughs while his eyes roam my body as I strip down to my underwear.

I climb into bed next to him, "What did you and your Dad get up to?" he pulls me towards him.

"Dad took me golfing, which reminds me. Mum has her book club tomorrow night and Dad has a darts night, so we have the house to ourselves" Charlie starts kicking, he hates it when I lay on my side.

I run my hand over my bump "Come on Charlie, Mumma just wants to cuddle up to your Daddy" I roll onto my back.

Adam's hand runs over my bump, his lips follow "Hey, You go easy on mummy" he whispers before laying back next to me "So this morning it wasn't very nice to tease" his hand circles my bump as he is laid on his side.

I smirk "It wasn't very nice to trick me at the pub either"

He kisses my nose "Well, you have started something now I'll finish it" He runs his fingers under and along the waistband of my underwear his touch is electrifying, I try to control my breathing.

His lips brush along my pulse line (Fuck! Do not let him win!) His hand slips into my underwear "I'm not going to make love to you Ellie" He parts my folds (God!) I bite my lip trying not to act bothered, he nips my collarbone.

His fingers enter me, I take another deep breath "So, who won at golf?" I try to change the subject.

I feel him smirk against my neck "We drew but right now I want to focus on making you come"

I laugh, "Adam!"

He speeds up his pace, I roll onto my side now Charlie has calmed down and I slip my hand into his boxers. I grasp him, work my hand along his hard shaft as my lips crash against his.

"My plan hasn't worked, I...oh god fuck..I was supposed to tease you and leave you wanting more...but..." his tongue tangles with mine.

I smile against his lips "But what?"

I speed up my pace "God...Ellie,"

I'm getting to him, "Come on Adam! I thought you were going to tease me?" I grasp his lip between my teeth.

He groans, "We've got to be quiet, baby, I don't want your parent to hear us" I pull his lips to mine again.

Both our paces speed up, we can't get enough of each other "Ellie come for me, so I can make love to you!"

"Not until you do!" I whisper against his lip.

He kisses me harder, firmer "I love you Ellie"

"Guess what?"

"God..what?"

I smile, "I love you too more than anything!" I can't hold back any longer "Yes, Adam Yes!!" I fall over the edge, and he hits his climax right after"Fuck baby!"

He pulls off his boxers and I help him remove my underwear as his body cover mine, he pushes pass my entrance.

"OH!! God..that's it! Yes!! Adam Fuck me!" my back arches of the bed I grip him tighter.

He grasps the head board, thrusting harder into me "Ellie, this is all I've been thinking about all day!"

"I have a secret for you...oh"

His lips move against my neck "Secret?"

"Uh huh, this is....all I've.....been thinking about all day too" his lips crash to mine.

He grasps my hips, moves faster against them "Oh god...I'm gonna..Ohhhhh" I hit my climax again.

"Yes, that it Ellie. God...Yes! Ellie!" We're both catching our breath he collapses onto the bed next to me.

"So, how did teasing me work out for you Adam?" I wink.

"Don't worry beautiful I'll get you back!"

I laugh, "We better clean up!"

I get off the bed and hold out my hand "Wanna join me in the shower handsome?"

"Depends on what you're asking?" he give me that grin.

"I'm asking you if you want to add extra steam to the shower?" I bite my lip knowing what this does to him. Adam jumps off the bed picks me up in a bridal carry and leads us to the bathroom.

~*~*~*~

The next evening his parent are out Adam has ushered me upstairs to get dressed up, he's cooking.

"Are you ready beautiful?" He calls up to me.

"I'm just finishing up now" I spray myself with perfume and make my way downstairs. It's smells amazing and beautiful every counter in the dining room is covered with tealight, lighting up the room.

"Wow this is gorgeous, Adam!"

He smiles "Glad you think so! I'll grab you a drink. Take a seat" I sit at the dining table and wait for him to come back.

"Apple juice for my gorgeous wife," he hands me the glass and pecks my lips "Right, have fun. I am shattered. I'll see you in the morning" he turns and walks out the room.

"Wait? What? Adam?" I heard his footsteps head up the stairs. (He's joking right?) I sit there confused for a couple of minutes, I pull out my phone and look for the nearest restaurant.

I grab my keys and bag, just as I'm making my way to the door I hear, him coming down the stairs "Ellie, where are you going?"

"I'm going out for dinner as I thought we were having dinner here together, but I guess not," I try not to act bothered but the tone of my voice gives me away.

He gives me that smile and chuckles as he wraps his arms around me "I was messing with you, I was getting you back for yesterday, did you really think I went to all this effort to let it go to waste?"

"WHAT!? You thought that was funny?" I spit back at him before I pull away from him and walk out of the house and towards the car.

"Ellie, wait I'm sorry it was just a joke!"

He gently grabs my arm and spins me round to see the massive smile on my face "Gotcha!" I stick my tongue out at him.

"Now that was evil! I thought I had really upset you!"

I laugh, "No, but now you have to come up with something better than what you had planned"

He grins, "I just dug my own grave didn't I?"

"Well, that will teach you for playing a prank on me won't it! So, get thinking Mister!"

He kisses my nose "I think I have just the perfect idea grab a coat and blanket. I'm going to grab the food and a few other bits"

"Where are we going?" I call after him.

"It's a surprise" he throws me a smirk.

A few minutes later we are in the car, Adam is driving "You know your Mum made her own playlist yesterday. There was a song that kinda reminds me of us and everything we've been through lately"

"Oh, what song is that?"

I laugh, "She actually heard it in one of the Fifty shades films she watched with your Nan!"

His face turns to disgust "Thanks for that! I didn't really want to know they had seen those films"

"Come on, Adam every woman has seen it or read the books"

He looks over to me for a second "What about you? Have you watched or read them?"

I laugh, "Yeah, I read book one but skipped two and three. But I have seen all three films, I can't remember if it were the second or third film me and my friend Gemma got kicked out of the cinema for laughing and talking the whole way through!"

"You got kicked out of the cinema?"

"Yeah, there was this moody woman in front of us we were talking she kept shushing us. I think the finale straw was when he'd put Anna legs in this spreader bar on this bed then he flipped her from her back onto her front or the other way round. Gemma snorted and said if her husband John did that to her, she'd end up peeing herself especially after having her two kids. We were both howling. After that we were asked to leave"

He laughs, "I can say I've never been kicked out of a cinema! What was this song anyway?"

"I'll play it, hang on a second" I scroll through my recent playlist Sia - Helium press play.

His face lights up at the chorus "So, I'm your helium?"

I smile, "Yes, I think it would be prefect for our first dance song. What do you think?"

"I love it! It's perfect. My sassenach! We're here"

I look out of the window "Where are we?"

"Blackford Hill, we need to walk just 2 minutes that way. The view is stunning"

We finally got to the top "Wow, Adam this is beautiful!"

"I know, it's stunning isn't it?" He places a picnic blanket on the grass with a couple of cushions "Dinner with a view. Am I forgiven now?" we both take a seat.

I roll my eyes, "I suppose. but it depends on what you've made for dinner?"

"Well, you will definitely forgive me if it depends on dinner," he reaches over to thermal bag and pulls out a little tub as soon as he pulls off the lid I know what it is "I've never seen someone face light up so much over a beef hotpot!"

"Oh my god! Wait, so our romantic meal you got your mum to cook?"

He chuckles "Actually I make this, and she taught me how. I have the recipe so if it tastes exactly the same I can make it at home for you. So, try it"

I try a forkful (It tastes exactly like Ninas maybe even better) "Oh, wow... this is awful!"

His smile drops "Is it?" he takes the fork out of my hand and tries it "Ellie, you're mean"

I smirk "OK I lied. It tastes exactly like it if not better but you can't tell your mum I said that" we laugh.

After dinner we are laid back on the grass looking up at the stars, "You do know I will get you back for earlier!"

I hear a soft laugh escape from his lips as pulls me tighter against him "But for tonight we can call it a truce?"

"I suppose so! But watch your back!"

"Hey, have you see anyone walk pass since we got here?"

"No, why?"

"Good!" Before I can ask him what he means, he pulls the blanket completely over us, his body covers mine as he captures my lips.

"Adam! We can't! Not here! Someone might see us" I giggle.

"We better be quick then!" I can't deny him.

Later we get back to his parents "Looks like they aren't back yet!" He picks me up and walks us into the kitchen and places me down on the counter.

"Down boy! I draw the line at doing that in your parents' kitchen! What's the time?"

He pulls out his phone "I have a voicemail" puts it to his ear, his face drops.

"Adam, what's wrong?"

It's changed from shock to anger the phone is still against his ear "Adam, you're scaring me what's wrong?"

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 10.

@lem-20​ @aussieez​ @khoicesbyk​ @txemrn​ @shewillreadyou​ @irisofpurple​

#adam #adam x ellie #manchester

[setaripendragon]

The Light of a Pole Star - Part 5

And here’s the last part of this ridiculous thing. When I first started posting this, this part was only the first scene. And I thought ‘that’s a good place to end it’ until I realised that I still hadn’t let Hughes have his moment. So, you get an extra two scenes that I wrote in a mad frenzy these last couple of weeks. Unless I get hit with more mad inspiration (if there’s anything you guys desperately want to see, lemme know!) this’ll probably be going up on Ao3 soon. I figure I’ll probably just throw it up as an epic-length one-shot, since that’s how I wrote it originally... -shrugs-

Ed is never ever, ever going to get tired of looking at Al’s face. It’s perfect. He’s perfect. And real. And alive. It’s one of the best things Ed has ever seen, and he’s spent pretty much the entire night just staring like a creeper while Al sleeps.

Al’s been sleeping a lot, and when he’s awake, he’s been a bit disoriented, but Ed doesn’t blame him. It must be overwhelming to suddenly be in his real body again, with all his senses back, not to mention the emotional trauma of the last- Well, the last five years, more or less.

So Ed sits, and holds Al’s hand, and watches him sleep. The hospital switches from night shift to morning shift around him, and a nurse comes by with breakfast for Ed – Al’s not up to solids yet – and another nurse comes by to check up on Al. And then visiting hours officially start, and people start dropping by. Al sleeps right through Teacher’s visit, Winry comes and sits with him and Ed for most of the morning, and Ling and Mei and Fuery and Breda all come and go while she’s there without Al making so much as a peep.

He wakes up near lunch time, bleary-eyed and bewildered. “Hey, Al.” Ed greets. Al blinks squintily at him and it’s the most adorable, perfect, amazing thing Ed’s ever seen. “Hey, how’re you feeling?”

“Guh.” Al complains. “Everything hurts. Why am I so happy that everything hurts?”

Ed laughs, but also calls a nurse to see if they can get Al some more or better painkillers while Winry chokes on a sound that’s half laughter, half sobbing. Maes and Gracia and Elysia arrive before the nurse gets back. “Hey, you’re awake!” Maes cheers, while Elysia yells a greeting and gets shushed by Gracia.

“Hello. It’s good to meet you face-to-face, Alphonse.” Gracia says, light and warm.

Al scrunches his perfect nose up. It’s adorable. “But we’ve met before? Right?” He checks.

Gracia’s smile falters a little. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry, Alphonse, I was just teasing.”

“Right.” Al nods. “Sorry, I’m…” He trails off. “I’m feeling very disoriented right now. A lot of things feel like… like I was dreaming. Or like maybe I made them up…” He sniffs a little and disentangles his hand from Winry’s to scrub at his face wearily.

“I’m not surprised.” Maes offers warmly. “But don’t worry about it. You’ve been through a lot, so just take your time to recover, and everything will come into focus eventually.”

Al smiles, and Ed was wrong, this is the best thing he’s ever seen, emaciated cheeks and all. “I will. Thank you.” He says, and then the nurse returns and distracts them all. They chat for a little while, and Alphonse doesn’t really join in, but he does stay awake for a whole half-hour, and drinks some water that actually stays down – thank fuck – before drifting off in the middle of a conversation about Winry’s work in Rush Valley.

The Hugheses take that as their cue to tip-toe out, and Winry decides to go with them, since she’s staying at their place and she needs to get lunch. She admits that skipped breakfast because she’d rushed straight to the hospital on waking to make sure it hadn’t been a dream that Al really was back. Ed stays, because of course he does, and one of the nurses brings him lunch, which he eats one handed because there isn’t a force in this universe that could make him let go of Alphonse’s hand.

Al wakes up again when the light outside the window is turning red with the approaching sunset. “How are you feeling?” Ed asks again. He’s pretty sure he’s going to be asking that like an overly-fretful nanny for a long time to come.

“Lost.” Al replies, staring at the ceiling.

Ed frowns, not liking how glazed Al’s eyes are. “What sort of lost?”

“I don’t know… Where am I?” Al asks, and Ed’s heart seizes in his chest.

“At the military hospital in Central City.” Ed tells him, but if he thought that was going to reassure Al, he was wrong. Al’s eyes fly wide, and he tries to sit up. He’s too weak, and fails, but that only makes the panic worse. “Al, Alphonse, calm down, it’s okay!” Ed says, jerking up and reaching out to his brother. Al goes still, staring up at him wide-eyed and panting, and Ed sets to stroking Al’s hair back into order with faintly trembling hands.

“No, I can’t- I’ve got to- Wh-where’s Perry?” Al asks.

Ed blinks. “Who?”

“Perry. Perry Morel. He was with me before I-” Al cuts himself off with a half-sob, eyes wide and lost in horror, and Ed makes a hushing sound on instinct. Everything else is tipping sideways in his head, and for a moment, he can smell hot sand and spices, not antiseptic and cold metal.

“Peregrine Morel?” Ed checks, his mind filling with memories of the small blonde boy, traumatised to near catatonia, that Arthur – Roy – had passed to him from out of the back of his trade wagon.

“Yes! Do you know him? Is he okay?!” Al demands.

Ed feels like an idiot. “Yes, I do. He’s safe, saghirti. Arthur got him out of Riviere safe and sound.” Natan says in something of a daze.

“Oh.” Al goes boneless, and starts to cry. It’s so quiet that anyone who wasn’t paying as much attention to him as Ed is might be forgiven for missing it. He doesn’t sob, he barely even breathes harder, but there are tears leaking out from under his lashes and into his hair. Instinct – Ed’s, Natan’s, it doesn’t matter – has Ed sitting on the edge of the bed to pull him up into his arms and cradle him close, rocking slightly and hushing him in a mangled mish-mash of Amestrian and Ishvalan.

“Is this a bad time?”

Ed looks up, and is thoroughly surprised to see Madame Christmas, Vanessa, and Nina standing in the doorway. Ed wants to ask what they’re doing here, wants to tell them to come back later, wants to give Nina a hug like always, but before he can decide which is the best option, he feels Al go stiff in his arms. He looks down at him in concern. “Oh.” Al says, in a tone of revelation. “Nina.”

Ed blinks, and looks over at Nina, then at Al, because… What?

Nina takes her name as an invitation to slip past Vanessa’s restraining hand and pad up to the side of the bed. “Are you okay, Al?” She asks, looking adorably worried under the hood she’s using to hide her not-quite-human features.

“I-” Al says, stumbles, laughs. “I’m a lot better, now.” He says, so earnest it couldn’t be anything but the complete truth. “I’m really happy to see you, Nina.” He adds with a bright smile that Nina echoes. She takes that as an invitation to clamber up onto Al’s bed and sit next to his knees. Vanessa makes an exasperated noise, and Madame Christmas chuckles.

“I’m glad I came, then! Vanessa said I shouldn’t because someone might recognise me, but I wanted to come anyway, so I asked Auntie Chris instead, and she said it would be fine as long as I’m careful and don’t take off my coat where strangers can see. And obviously I wouldn’t, so it’s fine.” Nina explains. “I was really worried when I heard you were in the hospital, but they said you were just recovering because your body had been remade with alchemy, like- Well, like how Big Brother helped fix mine.”

“Yes, just like that.” Al agrees, still staring in something like awe. “I’m not sorry I’ve got my body back, but staying in hospital is really very boring, so- so will you tell me what you’ve been doing?” He asks. Nina, of course, launches into an enthusiastic retelling of daily life growing up in a brothel, and Ed decides it’s time to set Al back in bed properly, although he props the pillows up a bit so Al is half-sitting. Their eyes meet and Al mouths ‘Thank you’ at Ed, looking so painfully grateful that it breaks Ed’s heart.

Ed shakes his head subtly, and then mouths, ‘Nina? Really?’ at his brother.

Al just beams, helplessly in love, and Ed huffs an exasperated laugh. Then he extracts himself and goes to join the two women in the doorway. He really doesn’t want to leave Al, but he knows what it’s like when you recognise your soulmate for the first time, the way all the memories just settle back into their place, organised around that soul that is ineffably familiar and right. He figures Al deserves a chance to bask in that feeling for a while without interruption.

“What are you all doing here? Or did Nina come just to visit us?” Ed asks.

“No. We also came to check on Roy.” Madame Christmas tells him, and Ed startles with realisation.

Ed is an idiot. Al is not the only one who got dragged through the Gate recently, after all. He’d already been planning to go find Roy once he could convince himself to leave Al’s side, but somehow he’d forgotten that Roy had been forced to become the fifth human sacrifice.

He stares at Madame Christmas, who eyes him like he’s a moron, but one that she’s at least moderately fond of. “He could probably do with a visit, if you’re-” Ed’s already pelting off down the hallway. “Room 205!” Madame Christmas calls after him with a cackle. Ed waves a hand over his shoulder in distracted acknowledgement.

He finds the right room and skids to a stop in the doorway, breathing only a little hard. Roy is sitting up in the hospital bed, staring out the window which means all Ed can see of him is his hair and one ear. Hawkeye is in the bed opposite, but Ed doesn’t have the attention to spare for her at the moment. “Roy.” He greets breathlessly.

Roy turns towards him, and after blinking once, he smiles, slow and warm in a way that brings heat to Ed’s cheeks on pure reflex. “Edward.” He responds, and damn it all but the way he says it makes it sound like a fucking caress.

“Sorry I didn’t visit sooner.” Ed says as he crosses the room. He could sit on the visitor’s chair, but why would he when he can sit on the edge of Roy’s bed and feel the warmth of Roy’s thigh seeping through the sheets into his hip.

“Nonsense.” Roy dismisses easily. “Of course you’d want to stay with Alphonse.”

Ed studies him, wondering if Roy remembers or not. He hopes he does, hopes that this new easiness he’s detecting in Roy is memory, but it could just be that he’s finally over the whole age difference issue. Ed can’t tell which it is; can’t tell if his own hope is clouding his perception or not. “You got your eyes back.” He points out, for lack of anything better to say.

“Dr Marcoh is a miracle worker.” Roy replies blithely, and Ed snorts. There’s a long pause in which they just stare at each other. Ed doesn’t know what Roy is looking for, maybe he’s just looking for the sake of looking, but Ed is searching for any hint in his expression that he knows. “Edward?” Roy says again.

“Yeah?”

Roy smiles, slow and ever so slightly wicked, and Ed flushes warm all the way through. “Can I tell you a story?” He asks.

“Uh, sure?” Ed replies, bewildered, because that was not what he was expecting Roy to say with that sort of smile on his face. Slowly, his brain changes gears.

“Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a poor down-on-her-luck artist.” Roy begins, his eyes bright with laughter, and Ed’s heart trip-stumbles in his chest, because oh. Oh, that’s what he meant. The grin that spreads across Ed’s face is so wide his cheeks ache and he doesn’t even care. “She travelled from city to city, looking for a patron who wouldn’t ask her to paint anything boring.” Ed closes his eyes for a moment, seeing red hair and so many freckles, because Roy had said that just the way Fiametta used to, and the memory sings in his chest. “One day, when she was minding her own business in the market, the most beautiful creature she ever laid eyes was so engrossed in a book on biological alchemy that she walked right into her.”

A blush floods Ed’s cheeks, and he gives up trying to be patient and let Roy tell the story. He grabs the stupid bastard’s face in both hands and pulls him into a kiss. Roy laughs into it, tries to kiss back, but they’re both grinning too widely for it to be anything other than awkward and clumsy and amazing. Leaning back, Roy stares at him in clear delight. “I haven’t finished telling the story.” He chides.

Ed thumps him on the shoulder. “I already know this story, idiot.”

“So you do.” Roy agrees, tone soft, expression melting into something so tender and loving that Ed’s heart squeezes in his chest, and he abruptly resents every single particle of air between them. So he closes the distance, twists up onto his knees and swings one over Roy’s legs to straddle him, presses into him and kisses him properly. And this time, Roy kisses him back without reserve, without restraint, passionate and achingly slow, like he’s savouring every press of lips, every shared breath, every last taste of Ed’s mouth. Like he gets it, like he understands that Ed loves him through wars and plagues and disasters and lifetimes. Because he does. He knows, because he loves Ed just the same.

In one momentary pause for breath, Ed can’t help but say; “This is me making a move on you, by the way.”

Roy beams at him and presses their foreheads together. “I had noticed.”

“I told you so.” Ed sasses, and Roy laughs, tipping his head back against the pillow behind him and scrunching his eyes shut. Ed bites his lip to keep from kissing him again and ruining the moment.

Hawkeye chooses that moment to interject. “If you two are going to have sex, please inform me so I can leave the room before clothes start coming off.”

Ed’s face feels like it’s on fire. Roy, of course, is entirely unperturbed. When you’ve been a back-alley prostitute in another lifetime, not much about sex is going to shame you, and certainly not the simple suggestion of having it in a semi-public space. “I thought you didn’t approve?” Roy says, looking past Ed’s shoulder at Hawkeye.

“I didn’t.” Hawkeye confesses. “You’ve changed my mind. But please, while I am rather fond of you both, I am not that fond of you.” Roy mimes getting stabbed through the heart. Ed hits him again. “Do I need to vacate the room for a while?” Hawkeye asks, ignoring both of them with aplomb.

Ed clears his throat. “No.” He says firmly.

“I concur.” Roy agrees, which is a relief. Because Ed is sixteen, and Roy is beautiful, and he’s been daydreaming of finally getting to touch him for years. If Roy had attempted to persuade him, he probably would have succeeded. “We have plenty of time.”

When Madame Christmas had suggested the idea of a ‘yeay, we survived’ party, Ed had been dubious. Sure, they’d all come together to fight the Dwarf in the Flask, but that was when they were fighting for their lives and had a common enemy. Now? Teacher still hates the military, and the military aren’t sure how to act around the Madame’s girls and boys, and then there’s the disaster that is trying to put Winry and Scar in the same room.

On the other hand, introducing Nina to Darius and Heinkel is pretty amazing, and watching everyone greet Al with delight and enthusiasm at seeing him out of the hospital at last is fantastic, and seeing everyone actually relaxed and enjoying the new, fragile peace is just good.

Ed sticks pretty close to Al the whole time, because his brother only just got out of the hospital, and he’s still thin enough that Ed kind of worries that he’s going to snap in half at a moment’s notice. Al bears it with good grace, and just drags Ed with him as he wanders the room in short bursts with lots of rests in order to socialise.

“Mr Alphonse!” Mei calls out when she spots him, and immediately latches onto Al. Ed feels a little bad for her and her blindingly obvious crush, but he figures she’ll bounce back from the disappointment well enough, given time. Ling follows in her wake like a chaperone, and Lanfan ghosts along beside him, looking a little less on edge than before.

“You guys still aren’t gone yet?” Ed asks, even though he doesn’t really mean it the way he makes it sound. He’s mostly just… well, he’s concerned about the state of things in Xing, honestly.

Ling laughs at him and waves an airy hand in dismissal that Ed figures he means just as much as Ed meant his question. “Soon, soon!” He promises lightly. “But the Madame of this fine establishment promised us a party, and we could hardly refuse free food and drink, now, could we?”

“Freeloader.” Ed accuses.

“Which one of us?” Ling asks, trying for innocent, which really doesn’t sit well on his sly, smirking face at all.

“Both of you.” Ed retorts without missing a beat, and the grin that spreads across Ling’s face is a bit too jagged to belong to the Prince alone.

“Oh, I’m pulling my weight around here. More than.” Greed informs him. “If anyone around here’s a freeloader it’s him. He promised me a throne. And concubines. And banquets every day.” Ed snorts, because while the Emperor of Xing might technically get those things, Ed’s pretty sure that Ling hasn’t warned Greed about just how much work he’s going to have to do to keep it.

“Aha! There you are!” Maes emerges from the crowd, a dangerously intent look on his face. Ed is just glad that it’s aimed at Ling and Mei instead of himself this time. “Oh. Hi, Ed, Al.” Maes greets. “Roy was looking for you earlier, hoping to escape Vanessa’s clutches.”

“And you were looking for us, Mr Hughes?” Ling segues curiously.

“Yes, actually.” Maes confirmed. “Ed here mentioned something to me about the First Empress of Xing a while back, and I’ve been meaning to find a moment to ask you about her, since there’s so little information about Xing to be found here in Amestris.”

Oh. Oh, Ed couldn’t keep the grin off his face if he tried. This is going to be amazing, and he’s so, so glad he gets to be here for this. It’s just a pity Roy isn’t. “You’ve heard of Empress Xiaoli?” Ling asks of Ed, looking genuinely surprised.

Mei’s head comes up and around like a bloodhound catching a scent. Ed shrug-nods casually, although he’s sure his shit-eating grin gives him away. “Yeah, a bit. Our shitty old man was around there when she first took the throne.” He added as a form of deflection, since all the Xingese are staring at him in open curiosity. Maes gives him a sharp look for that, but lets it go in favour of his interrogation-ambush.

“Well, she was of the Liu clan.” Ling begins, a frown of concentration crossing his face as he thinks. It was fairly distant history, but as a Prince, Ed has no doubt that he learned about her. “She’s obviously most famous for being the first female ruler in Xingese history, but she actually did a lot for our country during her reign.” For once, Ling sounds almost serious, and it makes Ed smile and wish, again, that Roy were there. He glances around, wondering if he can bring himself to miss part of the conversation to go fetch him.

“A lot, how?” Maes questions, clearly intrigued.

“Well, ensuring that women could become empress after her, for one.” Ling begins. “She was quite young when she came to the throne, seventeen, I think?”

“Sixteen.” Mei corrected. “She was sixteen years old, and she was one of the youngest of Emperor Longwei’s children, and some of her brothers were twice her age, and she still beat them all to the throne and kept it from them for twenty years. She’s the reason all the clans, even the poor ones, have knowledge of alkahestry and can send at least one child to the Great Hospital to study healing alkahestry every ten years without having to pay for it. She made bride-stealing punishable by death, and she built the Houses of Fallen Stars, and she made the royal tributes so much more fair-”

“She changed it from a fixed payment to a tithe system, right?” Ed interjects before he can help himself. “So poorer clans didn’t have to make themselves destitute just to appease the royal court.”

Mei brightens and nods enthusiastically. “Right! She was so amazing. She just… Her sibling and Uncles and everyone hated that she managed to win the throne by curing an entire plague, so they tried to force her to become a- a broodmare, because of the rules about each clan having an heir, but she wouldn’t even hear of it. The stories of how she blackmailed them into allowing her to rule properly were some of my favourite of all my lessons! She was so clever and determined and she talked circles around all of them. She never let anything stop her. She’s my hero.”

Ed’s sure his grin is going to break his face in a minute. And then – then – the only thing that could possibly make this moment better happens, and Roy slides out of the milling crowd to hear the trailing end of Mei’s fangirl ranting. He leans in to press a kiss to Ed’s hair and murmur a greeting, and then walks right into it by asking; “Who are we talking about?”

“Empress Xiaoli.” Ed informs him through the laughter caught in his throat.

Roy blinks at him, visibly winding back to what he’d heard of Mei’s little speech, and then goes a very fetching shade of pink. “Oh?” He asks, almost succeeding at sounding unaffected. His tone catches Al’s attention, and he looks over with raised eyebrows. He takes in the sight of the pair of them, one blushing and one grinning ear-to-ear, and realisation dawns on his face, tinged with the same unholy glee that’s filling Ed’s chest.

“She was the first woman to take the Xingese throne.” Mei informs him, and then launches right back into explaining exactly how many amazing and wonderful things her hero had done for her country. Roy manages not to look too flustered by it, but Ed can tell that if he didn’t feel like he needed to keep up the pretence, he’d be going all sappy-fond and ridiculous right now. “-and even on her deathbed she managed to outwit those traitors and put her daughter on the throne, so that Empress Nianzhen could continue to improve the country. Isn’t that just the most amazing thing?”

Roy’s smile is ever so slightly bittersweet, and he clears his throat quietly before he speaks. “You clearly admire her very much.” He hesitates, but Ed nudges him, and after a glance at Ed’s knowing look, he relents, and adds with complete sincerity; “I’m sure you – both of you – bring much honour to her name.” It sounds a little clumsy in Amestrian, but Ed can see how the particular phrasing catches both of them. Mei more than Ling – Mei actually tears up a little even as she practically glows with pride – but Ling does flash a smile that looks softer and more genuine than his usual wide smirk.

Of course, there’s also the sharp, curious look that Lanfan gives them, no doubt wondering how and why Roy had known to phrase it like that, and the matching look that Maes flashes in their direction. Neither of them call him on it, though. Instead, Maes pulls out an honest to god notebook and starts asking for more precise dates and names and details, which distracts everyone.

Ed leans into Roy, and is grateful for the arm that winds around his shoulders. It’s strange, because most of the time, he can deal with Ling and Mei like peers, like the allies and friends they are, but sometimes, in moments like this, the part of him that is Feng rises to the fore, and it’s so difficult not to feel ridiculously paternal towards them. Lineage is such an important part of Xingese culture, and these are Feng’s descendants; his daughter’s children’s children’s – ad nauseam – children. And Ed is Feng, and so sometimes, Ed looks at these two young heirs to his family and legacy, and feels himself come over alarmingly Maes-like with paternal pride.

That’s not to say he doesn’t also sometimes come over all paternal with the urge to give them a good scolding. Them, or more often other members of their family. “Do you know how fucking tempted I am to give them a giant lecture in letter-form to take back to their father?” He asks, in an undertone, and in Xerxesian, just to make absolutely sure no one can eavesdrop. Well, no one except Al, who looks over with a raised eyebrow. Ed ruffles his hair in retaliation, and Al wrinkles his adorable little nose, and Ed marvels, yet again, at his brother’s living, breathing body.

“I think I have some idea.” Roy replies in the same language, voice gone all crisp like it does whenever he’s forced to give a soldier a dressing down.

“Can you imagine how much he would freak?” Ed asks, because the thought is so damn satisfying. Ling and Mei coming home from far off lands with a letter written in a long-dead Empress’s hand, berating the Emperor for putting his own well-being above the needs of his country, his people, and his children, and sending the entire court into a tizzy over the threat of disappointed ancestors. God, that would be so satisfying.

Roy tugs on the end of his ponytail, not nearly hard enough for it to actually be the chiding gesture he’s pretending it is. “I’m fairly certain no one would actually believe I had written it, and it would only get them into trouble.”

“Yeah.” Ed agrees reluctantly. “Ruin all my fun, Bastard.”

Ed is still basking in the fact that Roy remembers months later. The little things that let him know never fail to make him feel ridiculously squishy on the inside. Things like the way Roy will make him old favourite dishes on the days Ed stays at his for dinner, or the way he tests old remembered ticks like whether Ed’s still only ticklish on the back of his neck or not, or even the way he casually shows Elysia how to do her hair in a deceptively complex-looking braid-twist thing.

And the way his eyes go all soft and nostalgic when Ed drags him into the library for a research-date one weekend. They slip into Xerxesian as they bicker about which reference texts are better, and Roy makes short jokes that Ed threatens to punch him in the eye for, and when Ed looks up after being absorbed in reading for over an hour, Roy is watching him instead of reading and there’s a sketch of Ed on the corner of his notes.

They’re interrupted sometime in the evening, when their heads are bent together over a diagram and they’re debating in low tones to avoid the wrath of the librarians. The loud thump and small tremors of a lot of paper hitting their table startles them both, and Ed’s head snaps up to see a pile of thick military-style folders sitting on top of some of their discarded notes. Another one thuds onto the table as Ed is watching, and then Maes splays his hands on top of them dramatically. Ed looks further up, into Maes’s face, but finds he can’t read the expression there. His lips are pressed into a thin line, and there’s the beginnings of a frown dragging at his brows, but he doesn’t look angry, exactly. Of course, it’s made more difficult by the fact that Maes’s glasses are reflecting the light in that creepy way Maes always manages when he wants to be mysterious.

“Maes? Is something wrong?” Roy asks, although he doesn’t sound too worried, just befuddled.

“The fuck are those?” Ed adds, looking back at the stack of folders dubiously.

“These-” Maes proclaims, patting the folders, and then sliding them across the table, closer to Ed and Roy in a very pointed move that threatens to knock some of their books clear off the table. “-are either the crowning glory of my investigative career, or my one-way ticket to an asylum.”

Ed will admit to being very curious, which is probably what Maes had been hoping for. He debates feigning disinterest just to wind Maes up, but curiosity wins out over contrariness, and he reaches for the topmost folder on the stack nearest him. “What are you on about, Maes?” Roy demands, but he’s reaching for a folder, too.

Ed’s folder is… actually Ed’s folder. It’s a painstakingly detailed dossier on Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Not just his military documentation, either, but reports from Roy’s mum and copies of letters he sent to Winry. “The fuck?” He demands.

“Should we be worried?” Roy asks cautiously, and Ed glances over to see the same sort of thing in his own folder. The detailed records of Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. Roy flips through it, mouth pulling into an unhappy line, before glancing up at Maes with concern written across his face.

“Keep reading.” Maes instructs, sitting down and watching them both intently.

Roy obliges, but Ed doesn’t, choosing instead to watch the pair of them. Roy flips open the folder, and goes still, eyebrows flying up, and Ed thinks he sees a flash of barely restrained triumph in Maes’s eyes. Then Roy reaches for the next, and opens that one, too. Since it’s lying flat, Ed can see the Ishvalan script in between the Amestrian translations, and he has a sudden, dawning realisation of what this is. Sure enough, a glance over Roy’s shoulder shows the second folder to be all about one Valentino Sica; bar owner, resistance leader, and unfairly tall motherfucker.

Curiosity drives him to go through his own pile, and sure enough, they’re all there. Specialist First Class Lexi Spitfire’s military record. Tzirre bint Chayim’s life, as told through Ishvalan oral history to a civilian informant, name redacted. The accumulated articles, interviews, and letters written by Oswald Stewart, along with a myriad of arrest reports for things like breaking and entering, trespassing, and civil disturbance.

A sharp indrawn breath from Roy catches Ed’s attention again, and he looks over to see him staring at a file on Knyazhna Tatiana Nikiforova with wide eyes. Ed takes a closer look, concerned, but his worry fades when he realises Roy is staring at a summary in Maes’s own hand exposing a two-centuries-old conspiracy to frame a Drachman diplomat for assassination.

Tanya had never really believed that the whole thing had been planned from the start, never quite let go of the idea that it was some failure on her own part that had destroyed the peace talks. Ed is glad she – he – might finally be able to get closure. He elbows Roy gently, and smirks when the man’s eyes land on him. “Fucking told you so.” He announces.

Roy blinks twice, and then laughs helplessly, bringing a hand up to press his fingers into his eyes.

“So I’m not crazy.” Maes announces, leaning back in his chair with a contented sigh.

Roy snorts. “Well, that’s debatable.” He mutters, and Maes grins, contentment bleeding into smugness in an instant. “But you’re no more crazy than usual.” Roy capitulates, looking back down at the folder in his hands. “How on earth did you pull this together, though?”

“Ed may have given me a few hints.” Maes acknowledges. At Roy’s raised eyebrow, he elaborates. “He gave me a list of historically significant events or people as his reasons for how he knew we were – allegedly – planning a coup.”

Roy glances over at Ed, curious and fond and wondering. Ed gives him a deadpan stare in return, even though he’s trying very hard not to laugh. “I don’t think either of us have managed to get through a single lifetime without getting involved in politics, government, a revolution, or some combination of the three.”

“Malka and Tzirre weren’t-” Roy begins thoughtfully.

“You were a mullah, and literally the only reason most of our village survived that famine. That’s governing, right there.” Ed counters. “And I’m pretty sure arguing that ‘but there’s no such thing as god’ in a religiously led community counts as politics.”

“Oh, was that what your point was?” Roy drawls, rolling his eyes heavenward.

“That was the basic point, yeah.” Ed retorts, grinning knife-sharp and daring. “Everything else followed on from that. Because it’s only once you’ve established that the entire concept of ‘god’ is bullshit that you need an explanation for Ishvala’s supposed ‘divinity’. And then you can lead people to the obvious conclusion.”

“Stop.” Roy insists, massaging his temples like he’s getting a headache. Ed cackles at him, but doesn’t press the point. He can understand Roy’s discomfort with that old familiar argument, in light of things that had happened in this lifetime, so he isn’t going to push the issue. “I still don’t understand how you got from ‘certain historical events’ to ‘reincarnation’.” Roy states, stubbornly going back to the original subject.

Maes gives him a look, and then taps the next folder on Roy’s pile. Roy frowns at him, but picks it up. It takes Ed a moment to sort out the timeline in his head and work out which lifetime that folder must be about. Going by the lack of change in Roy’s grim expression as he opens it, he’d already figured it out. “Klaus Fennek, who assassinated a general over the death of his lover in Cameron.” Maes announces, and then gives Ed a pointed look. Ed blinks at him, uncomprehending. “Klaus Fennek, who grew up in the slums of Central, right around the place where a certain brothel is now.”

And Ed remembers, all those years ago, making a stupid, off-hand comment that he hadn’t even expected Madame Christmas to hear, let alone remember. “Holy shit.” He breathes.

“What?” Roy asks, looking over at him.

“It was just- I realised there was a fucking brothel in that old wreck we used to sleep in when it got cold cause it had a working fireplace, and I was thinking how you would’ve found that so stupidly funny if you knew, and I didn’t expect Chris to fucking hear me.” Ed explains, indignant and wondering and incredulous all at once. “What the fuck?”

Maes chuckles. “That was the tipping point. When I remembered that, I started looking a bit closer at the other major players you’d mentioned. The Knyazhna’s speeches sound just like yours, Roy, when you really get going, and Sentinel’s letters to her father over the whole business?” Maes shoots Ed a significant look, and Ed glowers belligerently back. So he’s had a useless fucking distant asshole for a father in more than one lifetime. It’s not his fault, and he’s not sorry for calling it like it fucking is.

“Ah.” Roy says, and reaches out to nudge Ed’s hair out of his face in a gesture that is painfully reminiscent of Tanya. Ed leans into it with a huffy sigh, reluctantly allowing it to soothe some of his ire. “Yes, that does seem to be a bit of a theme for you, doesn’t it?”

“Synchronicity bullshit.” Ed grumbles.

“Synchronicity?” Maes echoes curiously.

“Don’t fucking ask me to explain it, it’s unscientific bullshit, but it fucking happens, so-” Ed shrugs irritably. “It’s basically coincidences lining up so beautifully over centuries that you just know it’s not a fucking coincidence, and yet, there’s no other explanation. And it’s bullshit.”

“I think it’s just souls being drawn to the familiar, whether we remember or not.” Roy corrected.

“You’re saying it’s somehow your fault Chris picked that building?” Ed challenges.

Roy smirks at him, and Ed’s eyes widen. “Yes, actually. She had to move once she took me in, since at the time she was living in a one-room apartment that was also, ah, her workplace. She decided to open up her own business, and took me with her to inspect the places, since she wasn’t going to leave me alone in a place like that. I don’t actually remember this, but by her account, we walked into that place, and I immediately went and sat down by the fireplace. She said it was the first time I’d looked anything other than blank since the accident.”

“Huh.” Ed says. “Okay, that makes it slightly less bullshit. Still annoying though.”

“Of course.” Roy agrees indulgently.

Maes snorts at them. “Of course, it wasn’t until Madame Christmas’s ‘thank god we’re not dead’ party that I actually really believed the crazy theory I was putting together in the back of my mind.” He acknowledges, looking supremely amused.

“I thought you were being suspiciously circumspect about all that.” Roy groans.

The innocent look that Maes aims at him isn’t believable at all. Roy glares at him and Maes gives up the pretence and just beams at him, unrepentant. “I didn’t want to call you on it until I had all the evidence lined up to drown you in.” Roy sighs like Maes is trying his last shred of patience, but there’s a smile pulling at the corner of his lips no matter how hard he tries to fight it. “There were a couple I just couldn’t figure out, though.” Maes admits, pulling a couple of files out of the stacks and handing them over.

Ed takes the one offered to him curiously. It’s so thin he’d almost thought it was empty, but there’s one sheet of paper inside, bearing an impressively thorough list of all the people identified as being part of the Riviere Traders. Next to each of the names are dates of birth and death, some of which are crossed out. Roy leans over Ed’s shoulder to look at it, his own folder held unopened in his far hand.

“I don’t think I’m on there.” He says finally, sounding smug.

Ed snickers. “You never did get caught.”

“Not even posthumously.” Roy agrees.

Maes makes an unintelligible noise of frustration. “Seriously? I did all that work for nothing?” Roy does that obnoxious, arrogant fake-laugh of his, Ed elbows him, and he shoulders Ed right back. Maes ignores their byplay entirely. “What about you, Ed? Please tell me you’re on there.”

“Nah.” Ed shakes his head, grinning at the way Maes slumps pathetically. “I wasn’t one of the Traders. I was the poor bastard that got stuck looking after the kids. Oh!” He says as he remembers, and turns to Roy. He’s still leaning over Ed’s shoulder, so it puts their faces very close together. “I meant to tell you! Remember Perry?”

Roy tips his head in thought, and then brightens. “Yes, I recall.”

“That was Nina.”

Roy stares at him for a long moment, and then closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Ed’s temple. “Clara was Alphonse, then, I take it?” He asks, and his voice has gone tight and pained.

“Hey, stop that.” Ed chides, leaning into him. “So was Meir.”

That takes Roy aback for a moment, but then he huffs a little laugh. “Of course.”

“Wait, wait.” Maes interrupts, dragging both of their gazes back to him. He looks entirely thrown by something, and Ed feels very smug about it, even though he doesn’t even know what they said to put that look on his face. “Al and Nina?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Ed confirms. “That was my reaction, too, but…” He shrugs. “They’ll be good for each other.” He says it with the confidence gained from having watched Perry and Meir fall in love all those hundreds of years ago. It took them forever, years and years of ridiculous pining and shyness and awkward, awkward flirting, but they got there in the end.

“They will.” Roy agrees, and then laughs. “Oh, good lord. I hope we don’t have to watch them dance around each other for quite as long this time.”

“We are.” Ed says, shaking his head. “Al’s decided he’s not going to do anything about it, ever, because he thinks that even when she’s grown up, she’ll still look up to him enough that he’ll fee like he’s pressuring her. So he’s going to pine ridiculously like he did back then, and Nina’s going to be just as oblivious and-” Ed flaps a hand in frustrated fondness.

“Some things never change.” Roy sighs, amused and exasperated all in one.

“Well, at least Al isn’t terrified of you, this time.”

“He wasn’t last time.”

“He was too.”

“Meir was far more intimidated by you.”

“Intimidated, sure. But he figured out I was all bark so long as Perry liked him. He was still half-convinced you were going to take him out into the desert and bury him alive if he so much as said a cross word to Perry even after they were married.” Ed countered, rolling his eyes. Then he caught a glimpse of the look on Roy’s face, and elbowed him. “Don’t look so fucking smug, bastard.”

Roy cleared his throat, and entirely failed at wiping the expression off his face. Then Ed caught sight of the strange look Maes was giving them and raised his eyebrows at the man. He grinned faintly and shook his head. “It’s just strange.”

“Which part?” Ed retorted wryly.

“I was thinking how odd it is to realise that the pair of you have raised kids together already.” Maes explains. “I’m so used to Roy being the hopeless bachelor, but now here you two are, talking about kids you’ve watched grow up and find their own soulmates, and I’m thinking ‘oh god, that’s going to be Elysia one day’ and… it’s very strange.”

Roy snorts. “It is, isn’t it?” He asks, which makes Maes laugh helplessly.

“But it’s a good kind of strange.” Maes relents. “Knowing that soulmates are real, and that… that death might be an end, but it’s not the end, and whatever comes, no one has to face it entirely alone? That’s… good to know.”

Ed glances at Roy before he can stop himself, only to find Roy already looking at him, that ridiculously soft, sappy look on his face again. “Yeah.” Roy says, because Ed’s voice has gotten lost somewhere along with his breath. Honestly, there’s nothing much more to say, because Ed thinks that Maes summed it up pretty damn well, even if ‘good’ is still a fucking understatement. He wonders, for a moment, what their next lives will be like. He doubts they’ll remember, figures all these memories will get folded back into the hidden places in their souls for the next go around, but…

Maybe they won’t know they know, but they’ll know. They’ll bumble around, relearning how to walk and talk, with a new name and a new face and a new life, and they won’t remember to marvel at it all, to compare it all to everything that came before, but they’ll still find each other in the end, because their souls resonate at the same frequency, and they don’t need lifetimes worth of proof to look at someone and just know.

“Oh, just kiss already.” Maes complains, throwing a crumpled up ball of paper at them, and then standing to collect all of his files.

“As if you have any right to criticise.” Roy retorts, while Ed’s face turns crimson.

“Speaking of my fabulous wife, she told me to tell you that you’re all invited to dinner tomorrow.” Maes deflects blithely. “Al as well, of course.”

Ed clears his throat. “We’ll be there. Now fuck off and let us enjoy our date.”

“A date. In a library.” Maes sighs, shaking his head like he despairs for the pair of them.

“The library is a perfect place for a date.” Ed counters, feeling like he has to step up and keep libraries from being so viciously maligned.

“I once proposed in a library.” Roy comments, playing up the blissful, besotted smile as he gazes dreamily into the distance. Maes scoffs at him.

So does Ed. “Excuse you, I proposed in a library.”

“You did not. You just made snarky comments until I asked.”

“But I said it first. It was my ‘proposal’.”

“Grumpy muttering at a book does not count as making a proposal!”

“Sure it does! That’s how all the best ideas get thought up!”

“Are you saying marrying me was one of your best ideas?”

“Damn straight it was.”

Maes pauses, files back in his arms, to shake his head at them again. “Definitely soulmates.” He comments dryly. “And now I’m going to get back to my soulmate, who isn’t an insane person who thinks a library is a good place for a date. Not that I wouldn’t adore spending time with her no matter the location, of course, but-”

“Oh my god, just go!” Ed yelps, and Maes goes, laughing obnoxiously the whole way.

#Fullmetal Alchemist #RoyEd #soulmate AU #Edward Elric #Roy Mustang #reincarnation #soulmates #Maes Hughes lives #Nina Tucker lives #Maes Hughes #Alphonse Elric #Maes/Gracia #Al/Nina #I've never had an OTP for Al before #I like him with a lot of people #but none of the ships ever really caught me? #until I was trying to figure out who his soulmate could be for this #and I was like 'okay how can I make this hurt in the best way?' #and then it was obvious #Nina #because synchronicity bullshit means that they tend to play out lives #where one or both of them die young #a lot #-evil author grin- #ALSO #the whole thing with Mei's heroworship of Xiaoli #is entirely based on my own outrage #on reading the wikia page on Xing #and seeing how biased towards men the rules of succession are #they gotta produce 50 (49?) heirs in their lifetime?

[willieowinsbury]

i’ve decided to rank hozier songs because i can and i feel like it

22. sedated: this song is solid, but sort of plain. makes you nod your head along but no dancing or mouthing along. it sort of feels like an amalgam of every hozier song. doesn’t slap. its the c- of hozier songs

21. someone new: cute, but sort of like a middle song in a wedding. nobody really talks about it for a reason. makes you smile, but not very catchy

20. run: its haunting, but not a cool kind of haunting, more just gives you the creeps. the chorus is pretty good though, and the lyrics seem like something you’d hear in poetry, so it’s better than the other two

19. moment’s silence (common tongue): this is the first song on this list that is legitimately catchy. its a song you turn up on the radio, but not by much. its fun, its bluesy, got some catholic imagery. its good, but its not “wow!” good. c maybe c+

18. better love: this was written in a month, and it feels rushed. a bit too fast, and if hozier had more time, im convinced he would have slowed it down. its the first powerful, devotional, love song on the list. i’ve heard people don’t like the drums, but im convinced its the extra singers and violin in the background. im always a violin advocate, but you’ve gotta pick like two instruments andrew. its crowded, but its got that power so its higher than say, sedated

17. from eden: i know everybody loves this, and i agree its pretty good, but i think the song could’ve used some more haunting parts? way extra points for the bridge after the third verse, thats super cool. i’d give it a b

16. nfwmb: i legitimately really like this song. it hits all the points, haunting, devotional love, necromancy, comparing your partner to nature, low bass. its a great low and sort of dirty song that could have used some higher string instruments. theres nothing wrong with this song in particular, i just like the others better. again, a b

15. movement: idk how y’all feel about this one, its his newest, but its one of his building songs. the atmosphere is different, and the lyrics are sub-par for hozier, but something about it just goes so hard. b+

14. take me to church: this was his first hit, and we’re all tired of it by now, but giving it a listen again, if not for the overplayedness, it would be more like a 6 or 5, not 14. a solid jam. gets bumped over movement for pagan imagery

13. jackie and wilson: someone new if it slapped. super relatable and arguably more lesbian than from eden, which i will argue. i mean, seeing a woman across the bar and immediately imagining your future kids and house? and getting so caught up in it you don’t notice when she leaves? big dyke mood, also super fun and catchy. feels like spring cottage cleaning watching cartoons on a saturday morning. b+

12. arsonists lullaby: this song starts of as innocuous and gets darker. really feel the fire and brimstone and rage and power of idk. mental illness? pyromancy? anyway it makes you want to dance naked around the bonfire, like in that scene at the end of the witch. one of the few powerful dark hozier songs with a snare drum beat, our first a-

11. shrike: its bittersweet ending of a relationship, and he conveys the pain and love perfectly, and the irish accent is the best. feels like a song at the end of a movie when two people who maybe could have made it break up, and maybe one dies in a war or something. its beautiful and lonely, and vocals are really great on this one

10: angel of small death and codeine scene: this song sorta feels like the folk/blues version of an answering song to dangerous woman by ari. mood is loving a woman who’s bad for you but you just can’t help yourself. the guitar isn’t my favorite instrument, but i really like it here. would be very energetic and rockin at a concert, love

9: nina cried power: i love this one, and its powerful and full and angry and sad, but there’s something fundamentally hozier missing from this one. i love it, but it doesn’t give me that fantasy inducing feeling, which might be an artistic choice. either way, a-

8. in the woods somewhere: the haunting, soulful, fever-esque, version of run. its the mind of someone whos going mad, in the woods. its a top tier hozier song. the clapping that you don’t really notice until you are only paying attention to the song adds to the maddening atmosphere, as well as the low and slow bass. the harmony in the bridge is keening, and this is one of the first songs that really screams hozier for me

7. cherry wine: bringing back the bittersweet love aspect again that he seems to capture so well, hozier uses such beautiful imagery in this song, you feel as if you’re in a cottage, doing ballet barefoot at dawn on dusty wooden floors, doing housework. its desperate in a way no other hozier song has lived up to. its keeping up appearances, stroking a baby bird oh so carefully, grazing your fingers over unused fiddle strings. it’s sad, and bitter, and so full of love. the first a

6. it will come back: the heavy drum and guitar are reminiscent of classic rock, but slows down so quickly at points it leaves you delerious and determined. it’s a stubborn song, it sneaks up on you on how much you love it. its toeing some sort of line. its falling in love with a monster

5. like real people do: it’s loving each other knowing you aren’t going to last, secrets that you don’t want to know, wanting enough time as possible before you have to leave. its beautiful and sad, and the harmony adds so much, and the beat is slightly like a heartbeat, steady, and there, but so quiet you barely notice. makes you smile sadly, a rare occurrence

4. in a week: something about this one is so sad and it reminds you of the place you were born. or maybe thats just me, i was born in iowa. its the same message from like real people do with a twist. you don’t have much time to love someone. it builds and builds and builds and is a tangle of messes and complications, and suddenly is so so simple. its longing, its wishing you had more time, its the last kiss in a battle in slow motion. bared necks and prarie grass, this song is about dying in the place you were made. the simple beat and melody give this song exactly what it needs to thrive. a

3. foreigner’s god: this is precisely the opposite of in a week, about dying in a place you were not born. about not knowing who you are anymore, about pleading with god, any god to spare you, let you go home. the fast beat in the chorus isn’t chaotic, but angry and sad and begging. its grief in every form, guarded and raw, hozier makes you examine your choices with this one. the beat is pounding in a subtle way, and it goes so hard

2. to be alone: this is big top energy. smoky bars and big boots, and slightly western? it’s tantalizing, crawling out of your own skin, and pure want. it’s slow and yet loud in a good way. it’s hard to explain why i like this song, but it feels like a storm in your bones

1. work song: this one is actually my favorite song of all time. its got so much longing, and stubbornness, and hunger, and love. this is the devotion we all love from hozier, the power and the darkened eyes. this is the epitome of hozier, and it feels like your soul and i just can’t articulate with words what this song feels like, it would be five pages long, this is the %100, this is the a+. this song brings everything hozier has ever made you feel to the table, and makes you feel it harder

#y'all i am this close to doing this for like. all my favorite stuff #i love explaining how things feel im an empath its how i thrive #who better to explain emotions than someone who can feel your emotions #hozier

[aion-rsa]

The Harder They Fall: Netflix’s All-Black Western Revitalizes Genre

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Westerns were the superhero movies of yesteryear. That’s the first thing you’ll see in any thread on Twitter bemoaning the abundance of cape and cowl flicks, and how they’ve dominated the multiplex. Once upon a time, Westerns were the dominant genre, and all things run their course. But maybe Westerns ran their course because they were all fixated on the same archetype: the white cowboy. Outlaws of color are scattered throughout legends of the Old West, yet we still always hear about the same figures: Butch and Sundance, Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday, Jesse James and Cole Younger.

If Westerns were ever to reclaim their place as cinema’s favorite genre, it would be a movie like The Harder They Fall that would start the sea change. By giving us something new and focusing on Black legends of the West, first time feature director Jeymes Samuel delivers a high-energy and stylish romp of a Western that both puts its stamp on the genre while carving out its own place.

Accented by an anachronistic soundtrack featuring Fela Kuti, Nina Simone, and Jay-Z, The Harder They Fall is crackling with vibrancy. It also helps that the film’s impeccably cool cowboys are portrayed by impossibly charismatic actors. Jonathan Majors stars as Nat Love, the leader of a gang of outlaws who steal from other outlaws. Flanked by saloon owner Stagecoach Mary (Zazie Beetz), shifty bouncer Cuffee (Danielle Deadwyler), sharpshooting Bill Pickett (Edi Gathegi), and the mouthy, quickdrawing Jim Beckwourth (RJ Cyler), Nat decides to steal from notorious outlaw Rufus Buck, played with both menace and gravitas by Idris Elba. Freshly broken out of prison by his own gang, which is fronted by Treacherous Trudy Smith (Regina King) and philosophical, yet sadistic Cherokee Bill (LaKeith Stanfield), Rufus is put on a collision course with Nat. However, their feud is deeper than money. Nat has a decades-old grudge against Rufus, and he won’t stop until the notorious criminal is gunned down.

If you can’t tell by the names assembled, the cast is electric. Majors proves yet again that he’s primed for superstardom. He so easily fluctuates between fierce determination and swaggering, effortless coolness. Regina King, great in just about everything, shows us she can play the heavy, and Stanfield and Cyler steal every scene in which they appear.

Finally, Elba highlights that he’s still Hollywood’s best villain. Samuel wisely films him like the shark in Jaws, keeping him out of focus until he’s ready to strike, and when he does appear on-screen, he imbues Buck with an understated weariness that only makes his misdeeds sting more. Samuel lets every actor cook, giving them all a chance to showcase their chops. It also adds to a runtime that can lag, but it mostly leads to brilliant scenes like Trudy coolly peeling an apple while she delivers her harrowing backstory.

Samuel also shows off some kinetic camerawork as the director. He pulls the focus in and out, spins around tense face-offs, holds long takes on characters delivering weighty monologues in close-up, and expertly uses split-screen to build tension.

The Harder They Fall is dripping with style, and while the whizbang technique and cheeky script can sometimes make the film feel like a Tarantino rip-off, Samuel also ties his film to many Westerns of the past by having his actors sing. Melding the singing cowboy archetype to his hyper-stylized action shows that Samuel wanted to both honor the genre and modernize it. The costumes are flashy, and the set design is inventive, especially a visit to a “white town” where everything is painted white down to the sand, but there are moments where it is very noticeable that the action is taking place on a closed set. It’s just one little nitpick in a film that’s deliriously entertaining.

The Harder They Fall is anchored by its livewire cast, but it adds enough of its own flourishes to make director Jeymes Samuel a name to watch. A third-act revelation doesn’t quite hit how it should,  and a runtime that’s a bit long in the tooth keep it from being a stone-cold classic, but it’s one of the best Netflix films to hit the streaming service in quite some time.

Could more neo-Westerns follow in The Harder They Fall’s wake? If they have as fresh of a take as this film does, we’d welcome them with guns a’blazin’. 

The Harder They Fall is streaming on Netflix now.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[a-weird-blog-in-general]

ITH Mafia Au

Yep. I’m releasing this thing into the world. It’s been aging quite finely, and with some help from @pika-ace, this has been fleshed out to the best of our combined abilities.

And, as a little something extra, we’ve mixed in some Do No Harm stuff in there too.

Boy this is probably going to be long. Welp, here we go.

There are the three families, led by Vanessa, Daniela, and the Rosarios. I like to imagine Abuela Claudia as the Boss of All Bosses (the head Godfather), who can be a member or not, but everyone listens to her on her block.

Vanessa's family is the most "calm" of the three; they deal more diplomatic and trade affairs (stuff like blackmail and bribing political figures, along with moving products). Usnavi and Sonny both fall under Vanessa, Usnavi being an actual member (most likely a Capo) and Sonny is not officially one yet; he's going through initiation.  In Vanessa's family, of course you got some issues with Sonny being accepted into the family. Usnavi is not 100% on board with it, but it allows Sonny to have protection under the family without conflict and doesn't interfere with Usnavi's loyalty to the family. Not that's much of a problem because Sonny, member or not, is always going to be protected by the families but Usnavi doesn't see that yet. That also gives Ian the excuse to take Sonny because technically the other families shouldn't care about some kid, but oh he got shit wrong. There's also the issue with Sonny hanging around Pete all the time. Pete, belonging to another family, has taken the oath to be loyal to them above all else. Usnavi doesn't want Sonny to form this relationship he knows (or more like he thinks) that Sonny won't be more important to Pete than the family is.

Daniela's family has Carla and Pete, Carla being an Consigliere (basically Daniela's right-hand woman) and Pete is a soldier (the 2nd lowest level of the hierarchy). They are the more "violent" of the families, dealing with the dirty work (hits and stuff like that). They have the strongest mafia army, so if you ever need a war, you want this family on your side. But it's more like they'll do the violence if they have to, not that they're just violent in general. With Daniela, the issue is she's the one who's always harassed for being a female boss and having a female Underboss. Other small groups and gangs not associated with the families don't like that for some reason, but they learn very quickly not to mess with the strongest family with two powerful ladies leading it. But like it's an issue that's always there, so they always have to be a little bit better and stronger than everyone else because of it. And you also got that issue going on with Pete and Sonny in the back.

The Rosario's are the more traditional ones and don't have the greatest public presence. They're the ones pulling all the strings behind the scenes; you need some product moved, they'll do it. Need to sneak into this uber secret place? They got you fam. With Mr. Rosario as the boss, Lincoln is the Underboss (basically being groomed to be the next boss if necessary). Though Camila is really the boss (she's got Kevin on her leash), it's Kevin who is the face of the family. Nina isn't in the mafia hierarchy, which kind of makes her upset. Kevin keeps her out because he wants to keep her safe, but I mean she already runs some risk with being your daughter man. Benny serves as a bodyguard for the Rosario family,  which gives him plenty of time close to Nina, and romance blooms. And Kevin wouldn't like that no no. In the Rosarios, Lincoln doesn't want to be the next boss. He wants to go and do his own thing, but Kevin's like no you gotta be the next boss if something happens to me. Now Nina's like what about me? I'm here and I'm willing to do this let me. Kevin doesn't want to expose Nina to that kind of life, but Camila just takes Nina off to the side and lets her in on how everything works. Benny, being a bodyguard to the family and is one of the closest to the family, gets to spend a lot of time with Nina. Now Kevin don't like that. He's put his trust in Benny to watch over his family, he doesn't need Benny falling in love with his daughter. And in general, if it gets let out that the family's bodyguard is getting all close to the daughter of the boss, that's gonna cause problems.

So that’s the basics of the families. I’m not the best versed in these sorts of things so feel free to change/add/correct inconistencies.

So, here’s where the DNH element comes in.

Let’s say that Ian’s got connections (that wouldn’t be so far fetched when taking into account the shit he does), and he’s got his own little orgainization up his sleeves. He does some digging and decides that he’s going to use Usnavi to obtain money and information from the families.

It's gutsy for Ian threaten Usnavi, who's a Capo. But then again, this is Usnavi we're talking about so that's probably why he chose him to exploit. Usnavi, despite being a Capo, isn't exactly the best material for the job. Yes, he gets the job done but he doesn't have the best authority skills. People respect him because if they don't they gotta answer to Vanessa and that wouldn't be very good, for them that is. And it's Ian I think he just wouldn't care. And it's because of Usnavi's position and his lack of authoritarian skills that makes him a good target.And knowing Ian he'd keep an eye on him and know just the right pressure points for him. In Usnavi's case, his family; threatening him is one thing, but threatening to hurt Sonny is a low blow. He could also threaten to wage war on Vanessa's family, resulting in a whole lotta death for everyone, which is the LAST thing Usnavi wants on his hands. Innocent people get caught the crossfire of those things.

Ian would be pegging Usnavi for inside info. Like to let him know if anything big is happening within the family; I think that'd be a LOT harder for Usnavi cause money from his own pocket is one thing, but outright betrayal? That'd REALLY get to him. It challenges the oath and Usnavi takes that very seriously. It would wreck him.

Aaaaand Sonny would find out about it and he'd be pissed at Ian more than Usnavi cause he knows what lengths Usnavi will go for his loved ones and he'd just be like 'this asshole is basically taking advantage of my cousin to do all this shit, this guy is a monster! No one fucks with Usnavi but me!' Aaaand knowing Sonny he'd go out and try to confront the problem himself and get himself and Usnavi into even more trouble.

Now Sonny knows what’s going on, Ian has to use his biggest trump card; kidnap Sonny to use him as leverage against Usnavi.. He'd probably keep Sonny locked up or close to him constantly like 'You do the thing, or your baby cousin is dead, get it.'

And there’s an initial confrontation.  the confrontation would be like. Like, Ian calls Usnavi into wherever the hell they meet, and at first everything's fine, Ian acts like everything's totally normal while Usnavi's just confused and a little scared, until finally, Ian just snaps his fingers and two guys bring Sonny out (probably tied up; the kid's a fighter) and Usnavi just turns white and things just go downhill from there. 'Let him go, please! He's just a kid!' 'Alright, I'll tell you what? Finish the job, and I'll tell where to pick him up. And finish it quick; I'm terrible at being patient.'

So Usnavi finally decides to get help.  maybe Ian calls Usnavi to make sure he's still doing his thing and Vanessa overhears and confronts Usnavi about it, and Usnavi just breaks down, tells her everything and begs her for help. And Vanessa just hugs him like 'You dumbass why are you so afraid of asking for help?' Then she rounds up the rest of the families like 'Code Red people; emergency meeting now. Sonny's in danger.' Oh yes. And they don't even have to argue this with head honcho Claudia. You put the words "Sonny" and "danger" in any sentence together you have her full permission to fuck shit up.Like, Claudia doesn't even have to look up if she's doing something. She just says 'Take whatever you need, be back by dinner, and bring Sonny back safely, por favor.'

Usnavi tries to do the outsmart Ian thing when he goes to meet Ian again, but Ian thinks he’s got the uper hand but nope looks who’s knocking at the door it’s all three mafia families and their army. Adn they violently exterminate Ian.

I could see them kinda casually hinting at what they did while everyone's taking Sonny home like. 'Man I didn't know you could bend someone's arm that far!' 'The tooth fairy's got her work cut out for her.' 'How many times did he fall out that window?' 'Lost count.' And Sonny's just staring at the with stars in his eyes like 'I have the best neighborhood in the universe.' I could totally see there just being a somber moment in general, especially between Usnavi and Sonny. Like while they're walking home, Usnavi has his arm around Sonny the whole way like he's afraid he'll disappear. And then maybe they have a talk. 'Mijo you should have just stayed out of this. What were you thinking? I almost lost you.' 'I couldn't just sit around and let that asshole use you.'

Sonny probably would feel pretty freaking humiliated (let's be honest, being the hostage in the situation is the WORST) he's going to be initiated in a few years if he's ready, and he went and got himself freaking kidnapped and made Usnavi just about have a conniption from worry; there's NO WAY they'll let him be an official part of the family now! And maybe after the rest of the family give him a little pep-talk even Usnavi admits that Sonny could still be a part of the family if he wanted to. 'You stood up to a Boss to try and help me, Sonny; not just anyone can do that, even if it didn't work.'I could just see Usnavi hugging Sonny tightly and saying 'Alright you can join eventually, but  ONLY if you promise to NEVER scare me like that again.'

And that’s that. Now onto Ruben.

Ruben was previously an employee of some sorts for Ian, and now that Ian's gone some of his lackeys decide they want to strike back at the families and they use Ruben to do it.

So like the bad guys' spy on the families for a bit and realize that the person named Usnavi looks A LOT like Ruben, almost identical. So they decide to pull a switch to have Ruben pass off as Usnavi. It works out for the bad guys cause they blame him for teh fiasco that happened to their boss: if Usnavi had just gone along with Ian's plans, they'd still have a boss.

So Ruben's forced to be a spy and sabotage the families from the inside while pretending to be Usnavi. And the bad guys have Ruben's family under surveillance and if he messes up they're going to get hurt. The bad guys' plan doesn't really work out, cause no one really buys into it. Well, Sonny doesn't buy it at all; it's like one of those "who are you and what have you done with Usnavi" but serious this time. Everyone else pretty much acknowledges that "Usnavi" is not his usual self, but they don't really question it; that's something they'd leave to Vanessa. But everyone's suspicious.

And it gets even more complicated because the families don't treat Ruben like trash and actually treat him like a human being and even though they treat him as they would Usnavi Ruben's like "wow these people are the most caring people ever why am I doing this?" And the guilt gets to be too much cause it feels just like when Ian just came by his family's home and invaded Ruben's safe bubble but in this case, Ruben's the one invading another's family and boy does that feel shitty. Ruben feels like a horrible human being but he's got to do it anyway cause what can he do? Nothing.

Slowly, Ruben works his way into Usnavi's role (still kind of sucks), but with less suspicion. And little friendship starts between Ruben and Sonny (cause damn I love the friendship too). Ruben's like "wow this kid's pretty chill" and Sonny's like "wow Usnavi's actually chill for once wow."

And one day it get's overwhelming for Ruben and he breaks down and Sonny ends up walking in and doesn't know what to do. Like while it's Ruben, Sonny sees his cousin, the "rational" one and he's curled up alone and crying and Sonny's scared. And all Ruben manages to say when Sonny asks what's wrong is "I have to fix my mistake." And then Ruben suddenly gets up and makes his way to Vanessa and Sonny's still scared and follows, listening though the door. And Vanessa, from the moment Ruben walks in though the door, knows something is wrong and Ruben confesses.

After Ruben confesses, Vanessa, understandably so, is pretty damn pissed and in order to keep Ruben out of the way, again understandbly so, keeps Ruben under watch and under lock and key while she formulates her plan.

Sonny breaks Ruben out and they both go in secret to find Usnavi, who's still locked up... waiting. The bad guys haven't been the nicest of people (make with that what you will), but Sonny and Ruben manage to get there by Ruben pretending to have captured Sonny and have the bad guys come and get them. They manage to get to Usnavi and almost get out but the bad guys stop them.

So now they're all being held at gunpoint (not fun), but something that should be noted is that Ruben tries to shield Usnavi and Sonny as much as possible because he feels so much guilt and if those two don't make it out of this then goddamnit everyone dies I guess. And then Ruben decides to turn himself over to the bad guys as long as they agree to let Sonny and Usnavi go. But wow they don't agree they'd rather just kill everyone and Ruben tries to reason with them and they beat him up for talking back to them (Sonny doesn't like that and tries to fight literally the biggest guy in the room but Usnavi holds him back because no Sonny that's stupid you gonna die). Sonny breaks free anyway and puches the biggest man in the room straight up in the face (he has to jump to even get that high) and some other guy turns to shoot at Sonny but Ruben shields him and gets shot instead (oh no). The other guys get ready to full on murder but wait what's that I hear holy shit it's Vanessa (she noticed Sonny was missing Ruben had "mysteriously" gotten away so she just tracked Sonny's phone to find them; she was right in assuming Sonny had broken Ruben out) and she is PISSED. And yeah she brought a tiny army cause she wanted to literally murder every single one of the kidnappers on her own. And she does; goes in guns blazing and full on badass.

They manage to save everybody.

Ruben's taken care of but he is still not okay and still feels like the worst human being ever even though you took a bullet for Sonny (which kind of automatically puts you on Usnavi's good side). Everyone get's that Ruben did a bad, a very bad thing, but they also understand that he was forced to do it for his family which means the man's got values. And after finding out about Ruben's familial situation, the families agree to watch over and protect Ruben's family while everything settles down and Ruben's so thankfull????? Like I hurt your family and you're willing to protect mine? Well yeah because our family isn't a bunch of bastards. And they're even willing to actually get to know Ruben as Ruben and he can't deal with all these people being nice to him???? And they stay close.

And BOOM there it is

#wowie wow #finally #it is done #writing #in the heights #in the heights au #mafia au

[leeedge91]

Mental Music: Beating the mind.

By Lee Egerton

 Now some of you reading this will have read my personal mental battle with my work and how music helped me to recover from this. But it is also important that we focus on how we notice how the very thing we love as musicians can produce its own mental challenges. In songwriting, Blogging, production, performing, improvising and even directing music can all give us food for thought and prevent us from being able to move forward with our crafts. This series is all about knowing how to combat those mental challenges, as well as how to proactively prevent these barriers from forming in the first place. The instruments we play, the songs we write, the music we produce, may include a natural individual character but no one is simply born with natural ability, without having to work to develop it, and therefore achieving instant success each time they pick the instrument. There is always some element of practice with the likelihood of mistakes and struggles being present at all times. We’re human beings, it’s natural. However, it is the natural character combined with a willingness to learn and determination to succeed, that develops the resilience to keep pushing through the struggles and help us to achieve our goals. So, to kick off the series, I’ll start with a few simple techniques we may use to prepare for ourselves.

 Preparing for success.

For a person to be successful we need to understand what our goals are before we can start achieving results. Each individual person will have goals of differing sizes, lengths of time and difficulty levels, but identifying these goals is a very good way to giving you a clearer pathway and enables you to plan your program much more specifically. Some people have long term ambitions to perform at a specific venue or to write a hit single, whatever you want to achieve, identify it and begin to think about what you would need to do to achieve that. Once you have decided what it is that you want, you can begin to draw a picture of what this looks like. You may visualize this, in dreams etc, or just think it but it has to be your dream! It is a good idea to write this down somewhere you can see it so your dreams are always in your mind. This is a great tool for motivation or remembering what you need to do.

Following on it can be useful to understand why this matters to you. Is it the fact that the hairs on your neck stood up when you listened that song or is it the fact that you just enjoy music? The why is not essential but it will help to give you some purpose. I for example, never stood out in any other subject, but in music I always felt like I was home and that I belonged in a musical environment so that was why being a musician was so important to me. I also felt like I had a voice in music whereas, I always felt as though I maybe had more to learn or was a bit behind in other subjects. This may be similar to yourself or you may have a different reasoning for wanting a musical identity. As I mentioned this isn’t essential but it can give you a reminder as to why you are doing what you are doing when the sun isn’t shining.

The next thing is to describe your journey. You’ve figured out the end goal and what it looks like, and why this matters to you, so now you need to know how to get there. The knowledge of how to achieve your goals is arguably more important than the actual goal itself. The reason being is that you can’t bake a cake with no ingredients. And this is the process we are looking at. First of all, picking the cake you want to bake, knowing what it should like that, understanding why you want the cake, looking at the recipe and gathering the ingredients to make it. Along this process you may have other mini targets to achieve as the tasks you pick to work towards may include mini tasks within them to achieve that particular task.

For example, I personally wanted to develop my production skills in order to release a EP next year. So, this year, I decided to purchase an iMac, with GarageBand, and a digital interface and Microphone to record Vocals, Keys and Guitars to enable me to develop Audio recording and production techniques to get the best sound for my instrument and develop character. I also worked with the software instruments and effects within those instruments to develop my own personal style and sound in production with MIDI. I developed these skills in regard to the songs I was writing for the EP and have begun to understand the important aspects of production and correct prior errors, as well as noticing what is missing in the songwriting to enable the production process to become more effortless and less tedious. This has therefore meant that my production is improving, my songwriting has also progressed and the EP is now coming together. In this process, I also listened to other songwriters and producers such as Chris Cornell and Periphery to understand what they were doing to realize the sounds they wanted to create.

Listening to other people made me understand something else. People often describe a person as being a natural talent. I strongly believe to this date that such a person is non-existent and never will. As I previously mentioned, Michael Jackson never just opened his mouth and became amazing. He had a vocal coach, who helped him to ensure his voice was incredible for a longer period of time and trained him to be as good as he was. Slash didn’t pick a guitar and start playing the riff to ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ as soon as he picked up the Guitar. He worked hard and practiced, developing the skill to do so. But also, this doesn’t make them brilliant at what they do alone.

Though the word ‘Talent’ to me insists a lack of effort and devalues the amount of practice that person has put in to what they do, a word I do like is ability. But ability alone will not help you make it. What made Kate Bush such an icon as well as Mick Jagger, David Bowie, Bryan May, Ella Fitzgerald and Nina Simone amongst a host of others, was their ability to establish their personality and character into their playing, singing and performances. You can learn to play the guitar and be technically brilliant but that does not make you a brilliant guitar player. A singer can be pitch perfect but can sound like a robot at the same time. What makes you brilliant is the ability to give yourself an identity and make you stand out from other people. Bryan May was a guitarist who was able to pick up a Guitar and you would know who was playing by the sound of the Guitar, as well as Jeff Beck could. BB King used to play 2 notes in a Solo, but he played those 2 notes like no other player. Miles Davis was never technically the best trumpet player in the world but he created an amazing feel to his music when he Blew in to his instrument. This is in my opinion, the most important step to achieving your goals. Creating your own voice helps people to identify you and make your goals more personal. This adds to the satisfaction because although you may gain good advice from other people, or take inspiration from other peoples’ work, the achievement is all the sweeter when you have something you can call your own, so be unique, be yourself, and feel the results of your work.

 Conclusion

Some people may not feel this to be beneficial. For myself however, seeing my Goals on my computer screen reminds me that I have not made it, motivates me to work harder and also enables me to see the little achievements that are helping me to push for my long-term goals. Remember these goals don’t have to be huge ones like getting signed to a Major Record Label or playing Wembley Stadium. You may just want to play your local pub or release a single in your Hometown. It doesn’t matter how big or small your dreams are, it matters that they are achievable, personal and push you to work hard.

Then set the goals within the goals that can help you progress towards bigger goals. Maybe these goals can be as simple as planning a schedule to help you to manage your time more effectively. Maybe you just have a tick list for each day with small tasks that help you to achieve your goals. Seeing the tasks being ticked off is a good psychological factor that can change your mind set and make you feel more motivated and happier, and reassuring you that you are on the right track with your goals.

Set reminders to help you to remember your goals and remember the reason why you want to achieve these goals. Next year I want to get in to the gigging scene so I will be looking for a car. Why so I can carry my gear to a gig without relying on other people. I can then set other targets like getting better quality equipment to help me to develop a more solid sound. I will also attend more local gigs and network with other musicians to help promote myself as a musician and establish myself amongst the venues. Then I will release more music, videos and teach more to give people more access to my music and to help achieve publicity around the area.

In the last paragraph, I have summarised all of the points made in this blog. The process of Identifying, explaining, describing, analysing and personalising are all important steps on the journey to realising. So remember, you can’t bake a cake with no ingredients, ability does not come without hard work, and without personality and character, ability means nothing.

I thank you all for taking the time to read this blog and I hope that you’ll find it useful.

Keep reading, living and learning.

And remember, Patience + Practice = Progress.

#success #Inspiration #habits #motivation #mindset #achieving #positivity