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#just realize one day and be like oh my god what the fuck
aurumacadicus · 2 days
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159 or 139 for the ficlet please!
(Also, do these numbers correspond or a prompt or are we just winging it here, curious minds would like to know how this lottery is working 🧐)
These numbers correspond to a prompt set which I can post a link to after this is done but I wanted the randomness of it. No offense but you guys always go for the same prompts (which don't get me wrong, make sense for the characters/my writing) but I wanted to stretch some writing muscles!!!! So I anonymized the list :3c
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Steve groaned when he realized he couldn't ignore the constant pinging of his phone anymore. It had well and truly rung through his half-dozing state. He pushed himself up, popping each vertebrae as he attempted to blink the sleep out of his eyes, then yawned, loud, and scrubbed at his eyes.
He took a glance around his room, then squinted in confusion when he saw his lamp had been knocked off the bedside table, there was a... sock? On the ceiling fan? And the ceiling fan was askew, the edges of the blades scraping the paint off on one side and nearly low enough to clip his hair on the other. He stared at it, mouth hanging open in confusion, especially as it finally registered that it was not a sock hanging from the fan, but a ripped pair of tights.
Steve grabbed his phone, still staring at the tights, as he wondered how, exactly, they'd been ripped right down the middle of the crotch and where, exactly, the other half was. He found it as he rolled onto his back to check his phone, one end tied to the foot board of his bed, the other tied around his ankle. He blinked slowly, then thumbed his phone open, peering at the notifications.
[Bucky] If you don't respond, I'm calling the cops
Steve blinked again, then sent a simple 'responding' and scrolled up to see what was going on. He came to the conclusion that he'd disappeared halfway through a party. Bucky and Natasha's engagement party, maybe? They were celebrating something, he remembered. The first messages has been teasing, calling him a curmudgeonly old man, then jokes about him getting lucky, then concern as he'd never replied to any of them. He flipped back to Bucky's messages.
[Me] Yo what happened My lamp's broken? And my ceiling fan? I'm tied to the bed kinda.
He looked around again just for good measure, then did a double-take at his sheets. He snapped a picture and sent it along as well.
[Me] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.
Bucky's response came only a few seconds later.
[Bucky] Oh my god the stripper??????????????! I wondered what happened to him!!!!!!
"The stripper?" Steve asked, squinting at the screen in confusion.
The door to his bathroom opened, and a man stepped out, naked as the day he was born. He was beautifully damp. He had a towel wrapped around his hair. Steve understood, suddenly, why half a pair of tights were on the ceiling fan. He immediately wanted to fuck this man so athletically that the other half snapped off his leg and flew onto the ceiling fan too.
"I ordered breakfast," the man said casually, pulling a duffel bag from... somewhere. "It should be here in about fifteen minutes. I'm Tony, by the way," he added, picking a pair of briefs out of the bag.
"You don't have to put those on, Tony," Steve offered, instead of doing the polite thing of offering his name back, or asking if he wanted anything else.
Tony let out a bark of laughter. "Just as charming as last night," he teased, shaking his head.
God, Steve hoped he'd been charming last night. "So... were we introduced last night?" he asked carefully. "And you thought I forgot your name?"
"I was introduced as Bambi last night," Tony said, offering him a smirk. "And you waxed poetic about my big brown eyes until I basically had no choice but to fall into bed with you."
"Bambi," Steve repeated, and then, louder, "Ooooh, Bambi." Suddenly he remembered exactly what had happened last night, up to and including how his room had gotten messed up, and it had started with Tony finally asking, 'Does that make you Faline? Or are you more of a Ronno?' and Steve just picking him up and carrying him toward the door as Tony giggled in his arms.
Well. Food was coming. He'd have time to convince Tony he was more than just a fan of brown eyes. Tony had a cheeky smile. He found those always seemed to get him into trouble in the best way.
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villainofmyownstory · 6 hours
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Day Zero
chapter 2
masterlist
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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x plus size fem!reader
summary: Ghost doesn't know what to do. He looks for Riley everywhere, with no results. He slowly loses his mind and does something he hasn't done for a long time… You wonder who and where Riley has been with all these years. How he found you? Why is he wearing that weird vest? And above all, where is the person who put it on him?
tags: AFAB reader, plus size reader, dog german shepherd, alcohol, weapon
author's note: I didn't expect so many comments, likes… everything… Thank you for this, it motivates me a lot.
Unfortunately, what everyone probably expects doesn't happen in this chapter… or maybe it does?^^
I plan to add new chapter once a week. However, I have more free time this week, so I will add the next part in a few days.
Chapter 2: The one with(out) Riley
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Day 730
You & Riley
It had to be Riley.
Of all the things you dreamed of all those lonely nights. About family, friends. Everything you've been longing for. You missed him the most. For your beloved dog. I t wasn't like the other family members were important to you. You just knew and pretty quickly came to terms with the thought that you wouldn't see them again.
It was difficult, hard. However, the realization of the unpleasant truth and mourning in such strange and new lonely conditions passed. The loss of the dog was unexpected and sudden. And knowing from day one that many animals somehow survived. Somewhere deep in your heart you felt that Riley was just there. And eventually, one way or another, you will be together again. But you thought it would happen after you died.
Not now. And not like that.
The dog was so happy to see you that he jumped at you with his front paws, trying to put them on your shoulders, but he was so excited and exhausted that he hit you with full force, pushing you. You hit the ground with a loud thud, crushed by the mass of the dog who was now licking every inch of your body, clothed or not. It didn't matter to him at all.
"Oh my god Riley...stop it, oh fuck" as you try to get out of the weight you don't know if you're in pain or if you're happy or shocked.
You're going through a million emotions. Many thoughts are running through your head. You have so many questions. So much confusion.
"Riley, man, calm down... I know, I know..."
You're trying to say something and at the same time get rid of the dog that has gained a lot of weight after these two years. Not only was he handsome, but he looked like a decent dog. Adult, mature. After many attempts, you finally manage to sit down, the dog seems to let go for a moment, panting loudly and sticking out his tongue. You look at each other as if each of you wanted to express and tell you everything that happened and what you felt during these months of separation.
Riley still had that incredible wisdom in his eyes, something that made him seem so human. This was one of the features that made him easy to recognize. The second thing was the fact that, unfortunately, before he came to you, when he was a puppy he lost part of his left ear. That's why as soon as you saw an animal running towards you, in a split second you knew it was him.
It was something so incredible, even impossible.
And you remember your mother's words the day the puppy showed up at the door of your family home 
"Fucking miracle"
Scratching Riley's ear, you shook your head in amusement and whispered, barely audible
"Yes Mommy, you were right… as always. He's a miracle."
Now you were just curious about the person who had kept Riley alive for so long and kept him in such great shape.
Slowly standing up, brushing off the dust from your clothes and wiping your cheeks, which were wet with dog saliva. You looked around the area, not seeing another living creature.
“Riley, who did you come with? Where is this person?”
You asked the companion next to you, grabbing your backpack and slowly walking in the direction the dog came from. However, the wounds on your feet from the long walk were so painful that you had to give up after walking a few steps.
“So, I guess we'll have to wait here for this mysterious Ghost?”
Walking towards a small building that was probably an energy building. Hoping that there will be a working power supply with electricity inside. which the tower still works and sends a signal, from time to time you looked with a smile at the dog which was glued to your leg and was following along with you.
For the first time in a long time, you smiled.
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Day 731
You & Riley
Nothing, silence, emptiness.
As if the arrival of the dog didn't change much. And it changed practically everything. The world took on new colors for you, you felt that it was a signal, a sign. Whatever. Something refreshing that restored meaning to your life after such hopeless and miserable, long and lonely months.
And somewhere deep inside you believed that someone would eventually show up. And after many hours of sitting in a dingy little building next to the tower, you lose hope again. Maybe Riley's arrival was everything you deserved in this new life.
When trying to get more comfortable on a concrete floor, you need to be careful with your dog. With every movement you make, even the smallest one, Riley raises his head and looks at you. He gets closer if you move your body away from his just the slightest. As if he was afraid that you would disappear from his sight again.
The night and half of the day passed. No one came at noon.
Like the mysterious Ghost, sleep never came.
“Darling, I'm so tired... everything hurts,” you say quietly, stroking the animal's fur with your hand.
 “Riley, I think we should wait a little longer, maybe one more day?” You look towards your backpack. Unfortunately, all the supplies you had packed were slowly running out. Your water supply would last for another day. Maybe if you saved more for the next two days. You had food for two or three days. However, you didn't expect before that you would have to count all the food and water for two.
It wasn't a problem. At all.
“Oh boy… you don't know how glad I am that you're here with me,” you muttered, placing your hand on the dog's body, finally falling asleep.
And the last thought was that in two years you haven't said as many words as today.
And it wasn't a problem. At all.
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Day 730
Ghost
Ghost felt like he was slowly losing his mind. That he's about to go crazy. Since all this happened, this whole cataclysm, the apocalypse. The end of the world... Everyone could call it whatever they wanted. That damn Day Zero. The man was able to organize himself in all this chaos, pursue his goals, plan and live. From day one, everything made sense, meaning, some direction for him.
Planning, patterns, predictability. Sticking to the schedule, drill.
His years in the army prepared him for this. It was in his blood.
So now that there had been no sign of Riley for over 24 hours, the only living being for whom he got up and went to sleep every day, it all made no sense. His life had no meaning.
Yesterday when he left the fucking house with a pillow in his hand that he took for the dog. In terror, he ran around the area shouting the dog's name, hoping that it would appear soon. Ghost was under the illusion that Riley would run around  the corner with some prey in his mouth. Wagging his tail happily.
Nothing like that happened.
Ghost, in his madness, destroyed several objects he encountered on his way. Screaming loudly and cursing. This couldn't be true. Something bad must have happened. The dog had been clinging to Ghost continuously for 2 years. Even when he taught him to hunt or search in new unknown locations, the dog was able to return to the man.
Why wasn't he there now?
Ghost finally went home after many hours of frantic searching. All the time he was wondering what else he should do to make his friend come back to him.
When he finally reached a safe place and parked the car, he looked around the area, hoping Riley had found his way home, and stuck his tongue out, wagging his tail. That the dog would be sitting outside the house, waiting for Ghost.
Unfortunately, to the man's horror, there was no sign of any presence.
Ghost felt under his skin that if he was left alone, he would lose ground. And his entire planned, arranged life will collapse day by day like a house of cards.
The house seemed unusually quiet and empty. Even though every space, every corner, cabinet, shelf and floor was filled with objects that the man had collected for two years. Supplies, clothes, items needed for survival. He was proud of how easily and quickly he adapted to the new challenge. How he was able to find himself alone, without other people.
This was another difficult and important mission for him.
I'm sitting in a chair at a large oak desk. He converted the room into an office where he kept maps, important documents and books. Ghost leaned back in the leather chair and closed his eyes.
He was afraid of this moment. Yes, he expected that one day he would be alone again. That he would have to say goodbye to his best companion. However, a German Shepherd should live up to 13 years. Maybe Riley would have lived another year or two in good health. Ghost was ready for this terrible situation. But that was to happen in the future. Someday, when they're both ready. In many years. In at least 9-10 years. That was the plan. That was the assumption.
And now Ghost was staring at the blank white ceiling, feeling like his world had collapsed once again.
The first was the death of his family.
The second time was when his teammate died.
Third… no, no, no. This couldn't happen again.
"No!" the man growled loudly, getting up from his chair and hurrying towards the room that was now the large pantry.
He must have had something strong to drink. Bloody hell. He had to drink that fucking brandy.
It's been a long 730 days since Ghost last dipped his lips in alcohol. Two years of sobriety.
And a drunk lieutenant meant something very dangerous. 
Pure madness. 
If someone showed up at Ghost's door now. The person should step back and leave without hesitation. And never come back. For your own safety. Your pathetic life.
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Day 732
Walking towards the city in the morning, with your dog by your side, you felt as if the world smiled at you and let you go back to your happy years. When you were younger and Riley was just a few months old puppy. This is exactly what your mornings looked like. You were walking along quiet streets somewhere on the outskirts of your city, enjoying the new, sunny day. You usually went to your favorite cafe and bakery, then went to the park with your dog. Lazy, ordinary mornings.
Unfortunately, now despite the idyllic landscape, peace and quiet, greening grasses and trees. Nothing else here was like back then.
Silence, deserted, ruined buildings.
Even though the world changed completely that day, the city looked remarkably good and clean, the main roads were passable, cars and other things on the road had been moved so that one lane was empty. You decided to go to the center and plan further walking there.
You entered several buildings and checked several vehicles.
Weird. All the more important and necessary things you could find in these places are gone. Medicines, canned goods. Batteries, clothes, shoes. The fuel from the car was drained, batteries, light bulbs and other things from the engine were removed.
The city looked like someone had definitely lived there after Day Zero. For a long time.
However, after a few hours of walking around empty streets, you decided to enter the last building where you expected to find at least a few drops of water. Even fermented, rotten food. Whatever.
“Riley, come on, one more place and we're going back to the tower, maybe Ghost will show up tomorrow?”
you lightly pulled the dog's leash. The dog was still sitting on its hind legs, looking in the opposite direction from which you had come.
You didn't have time to react.
Focused on the dog, you leaned down to give him the command again to finally move.
You didn't have time to do anything else.
Shot.
And the whistle of the bullet.
That's all you heard...
You didn't have time to do anything else.
taglist: @leviathanleva @chocolate-noodles
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chateaumarmontt · 3 days
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I’ll probably edit this one*
Just some Everlark fluff
enjoy💝
It’s been almost a month since Peeta came back to 12. We spent that time with each other, it was healing but hard at the same time.
I try to understand my feelings for Peeta. I know I love him, but I don’t know if I’m ready to be in a relationship. How could I think about that when so many people died? I’m ashamed for the way I feel when I see Peeta in his garden, his blonde curls covering his forehead and a little part of his temples. I’m ashamed of how much I love the way his blue eyes flicker whenever I compliment his cheese buns… And now, he’s lying next to me, mouth open, his face squashed against the pillow.
Without even realizing, I put my hand in his hair and play with it. Peeta murmurs something without opening his eyes, so I let myself study the boy with the bread a little longer.
“Katniss, I can feel you staring”, he says, smiling.
“No, I’m not”, I reply, suddenly greeted by the blue eyes I know so well. Peeta raises an eyebrow and I groan:
“So what if I was staring?”
“Nothing, it’s nice. I like when you stare at me.”
His hand wraps around my waist, bringing me closer to the warmth of his body. I could stay like this all day, Peeta’s chin on the top of my head, my fingers tracing circles on his clavicle…
“Hey, who’s Naomi”, I ask.
A few days ago, a blonde girl came to Peeta’s house. She was tall, slim and had the aspect of a healthy person- her cheeks rosy red, her skin a little pale. I can’t say I was jealous when I saw her talking to Peeta, or when Peeta opened the door, smiling at the sight of her, or when she went into his house and spent almost 2 hours there… fine, maybe I was a little jealous, but I’d never admit it to him.
“How do you know…”
“I heard you talking to her last week. I had my window open and yeah… Not like I was spying on you!” I wasn’t completely lying. Naomi’s high pitched voice was what drew my attention.
“Oh, she’s Rye’s wife… was”, Peeta replies, a sad smile on his face, “I try to be nice to her since, you know, she has no one but her baby and her brother in law.”
I feel stupid for asking. How could I believe Peeta would be seeing anyone else? After all we’ve been through, he wouldn’t leave me…would he? We’re not officially together, so he could be seeing someone else and I’d have no right to judge him. The thought of not sleeping next to him and another person feeling the warmth of his strong arms drives me insane.
“Why? Are you jealous?”
I look up to see the blonde boy smirk. It’s better than seeing him sad, but I still roll my eyes:
“Yeah, right”, I blush and try to bury my face in his neck so he won’t notice, but his fingers bring my chin up so that I’m looking into his eyes again.
“Oh, my God, you are! You’re blushing”, he laughs.
I sit up straight and hit him playfully:
“No, I’m not!”
Peeta raises an eyebrow and I can’t help a little smile:
“Shut up.”
“Come here”, he says amused, now sitting up and pulling me into his lap, “It’s adorable when you’re jealous.”
Our faces are so close… too close. I can’t give in, I can’t do this to Peeta, I don’t deserve his love. He saved me so many times and all I did was hurt him.
“No one else ever called me adorable, Peeta”, I barely whisper, closing my eyes, so that I can’t be tempted by him. God knows I can’t keep myself together when he looks at me with those puppy eyes.
“No one else really matters”, he says, his warm breath lingering over my lips, making me lick them without realizing.
“Peeta…”
And it happens. I can’t control myself, my hands around his neck, I bring him even closer to me. It’s the hunger I’ve felt before, the hunger that makes me behave like a selfish animal. And I am selfish for bringing him into this, for not letting him get the life he deserves with a normal girl, not a fucked up 19 year old that’s been through the Games twice and started a revolution… but God, did I miss him on my lips.
“Katniss”, he pulls away, gasping for air. I take the opportunity to look at him again, like I did this morning: his curls are even messier than usual. This satisfies me because it was my hand who did that. His cheeks are flushed, his lips swollen, his chest going up and down, trying to get more air. I can’t help but imagine Peeta with nothing on, lying in my bed in the morning. My cheeks must be burning like crazy and I mentally scold myself for thinking about it.
“Did you hear me”, Peeta asks amused, bringing me back to the present moment.
“What?”
“Kiss me again?”
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bigfatbimbo · 3 hours
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I heard ✨fluffy Vox thoughts✨ and I’m here to deliver
Okay so we all know cuddling Vox is difficult sometimes with his big ass head. Difficult but not impossible because this man loves to hold you.
Makes him feel manly (even tho we’ve established he’s a needy bitch boy but let the man have his moment) that he’s the one holding and protecting you from whatever reason has you clinging to him
So whenever he gets the chance, especially when he sees you’ve been having harder time lately, he gets this kind a smug look on his face as he and opens his arms for you, because yay now he gets to hold you and make you feel like the small vulnerable one for once
(Doms deserve to be babied too!!)
He does baby talk you, mostly to tease because he’s stroking his ego a bit because he’s feeling like the caretaker/provider/whatever
Up to you either you make him swallow his words later 👀
~~~~~~~~~
Vox was working mindlessly in his monitor room, honestly growing bored and irritated with the days work load that seemed never endingly tedious. However, his concentration is broken when he hears the elevator dinging open behind him, to which he sighs in annoyance.
“I’m busy, so whoever it is, go away.” Vox was quick to dismiss without even looking over his shoulder.
At that you immediately roll your eyes. Dealing with your boyfriend’s bs after the week you’ve been having is not what you came down here for.
“Vox.” You say, your tone low with a warning that he already knew. Watch your attitude.
He tenses for a second, after realizing it was you and he turns to look over his shoulder. He plasters on that tv host grin of his as he turns his chair to you fully, deciding to use you as an excuse to take a break for his mind numbing work for five minutes.
“Oh my apologies my dear, I didn’t realize it was you. Heh you know how things are. Busy busy busy.” He feigns for an excuse.
You simply rolls your eyes as you approach him, your exhaustion and stress showing on your face, “Yeah tell me about it.”
He arches a brow at you. Weird. He was have expecting you to tell him to fix his attitude or you’d fix it for him, or something if that nature. But your whole energy was off. And the closer you got to him, the more he noticed the crease in your brow and the tires look in your eyes. Aw shit…he knew that look.
He sighs wearily and that tv persona drops for a moment, as he sits himself up in his chair and gestures for you to sit in his lap.
“C’mon. You can hide out in here.” He says as if he was doing you a favor but in reality he just knew better. You got the same way he did when you needed a recharge from a hellish week. Cuddly.
A small smile pulls on your lips and you don’t hesitate to get in his lap, tucking your head under his screen and resting agaisnt his body.
Vox looks down at you for a moment as he runs his chair back to his monitors and as his eyes linger in your face for a moment, watching you melt into him, he couldn’t help but smile a little more genuinely. (And he definitely took a screenshot)
“Hmp..just don’t move around okay? I still have to work.” He chuffs out, only to have you smirk a little agaisnt his chest.
“Mm last I checked you were the squirmy one between the two of us Vox. Or so I need to remind you later.”
You could hear his fans kick on a little harder as he grumbles under his breath, “…fuck you.”
“Later.” You chuckled, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck, “I’m resting.”
awwwwwwsshshsh this is really cute!! 😭🫶 you spoil me oh my god the little drabble at the end was adorable. This was very in character too because it would definitely be a manliness thing, lowkey. But the baby talk is actually cute, I don’t even care. Like that’s so silly and he so would, like I cannot get over that idea it’s so cute. You’re a very good writer by the way, you should consider making fics. Anyways, thanks babes this absolutely cheered me up oh my god!
Side note “(Doms deserve to be babied too!!)” Very important information, no one forget this!! ☝️🤨
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pepperjammin · 2 years
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I just realized it’s called orange joe cause it’s orange soda mixed with coffee and “cup of joe” is a name for coffee…oh my god I’m so dumb
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lesbiansanemi · 1 year
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People who conflate cannibalism with vore like stop. No for real stoooop. Lol stop. Please. I’m gonna cry
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uwulouis · 11 months
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bibleofficial · 11 months
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idk what my father thought the take-away would be by taking my brother & i downtown to look at homeless people every holiday and birthday growing up was. like all it’s turned into was ‘communism = good’ & 🤝 like 😭😭
#diary#‘rhat could easily be u one day’ ‘one accident is all it takes’ then to the -> ‘we will kick u out if u do something we don’t like’ -> im#poor & therefore the poor is me ALSKALSKALKSLAKS#like idk. i mean i’ve been thinking abt it so much like how things could’ve been different if only money weren’t a problem#like yea he grew up basically homeless so i understand what his point ? was i guess ? but idk like the looming ‘u can be kicked out’ had#been held over me since i realized my faggotry at like 7/8 like ALSKALSKALSKLAKS#i didn’t have money ? i was a child ? i couldn’t afford things ? but also the money i did have was from work i’d do around the house or#whatever like if we got birthday money like 80% would go into a savings account but i didn’t have access to that account until i turned like#17 so like still its not like it was MY money - all my money was what i had or what i could hide or stash like#the HOARDING#JUST IN CASE I GOT FOUND OUT#maybe this was really unhealthy#but REGARDLESS it’s like ok idk the class solidarity but HE doesn’t like the homeless now bc he’s a crotchety old man that was a child of#neoliberal capitalism so i mean yea idk i get it but MY generation like my brother & i - or at least I REALIZED THIS - but like the flourish#that my father received from the economy he came of age into is NOT being passed along to me like im just floundering i keep thinking abt#money like im so fucking stressed all the time abt MONEY like i RESENT it so much like i WISH i could’ve been born into wealth like just#be NORMAL have a NORMAL college like be able to GET A LOAN at ALL for school loans but#like even if i COULD get a loan it’s not like i’d be able to PAY IT BACK !!!!! like oh my god ? & then who’d end up having to figure out how#to pay it back ? my family bc .. gov gon get their money somehow & i can’t do that even if i DID get kicked out like#im just so envious of the wealthy; those who could pay their way - or get it covered#like literally ‘what’re u going to do :)’ bro i don’t FUCKING KNOW DO U HAVE MONEY FOR ME TO DO ANYTHING ? BC WORKING FOR 30K/YEAR IS MORE#like time available to look for Real work vs Working at Work like it’s MORE affordable to NOT work#what’s the POINT if fucking WALMART pays MORE THAN A DEGREED REQUIREMENT#like 😭😭😭😭😭#cost of living crisis ever rising#like ok let’s just#im going to light things on fire
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totallyblooktacular · 2 years
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lost your head
#before i complain for the rest of these tags i should clarify this isnt vent art or anything lol we're cool#the fuckin. entire creative process behind the initial idea for this to what it is now is. 📱💥#the idea came at first on account of connecting the dots between two song lyrics#but when i came up w designs that would properly call back to said songs i was like ...#well this would just kind of look like me n saltwater wouldnt it. so i said fuck it its them#or would be. bc ive also been sitting on this for months i didnt start it until like 2 days ago -_-#also i had to bust out 3d models for this and ohhh my god tryign to figure out how to a) pose them and#b) translate that into a sketch that would reasonably fit my normal art style took. foreever#i ended up sketching the pose out like 3 dif times before landing on the one that i went over for these lines O(-<#and then i Fucked Up the head tilt anyways its hardly even tilted its just kind of awkwardly offset from the neck#oh well. theres other compositions...#n honestly like i think aside from the head (the actual point of the piece ...) i honestly didnt do too bad#definitely most limbs and hands are all a bit janky but like definitely not as janky as they couldve been yknow? which is cool#also enjoy the faces those did turn out particularly well i think. so like that is swag too. but god this is underwhelming#im just sitting here like wow this one rules (still disappointed anyways)#one last tag ijust realized i forgot the hair curl. exploding myslef immediately now#anyways i have to add categorizations now..#my characters#myself#underneath the dock
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universalsatan · 1 year
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sometimes i forget how distinctly american my mother is, and how we are generally a product of our surroundings
#personal#just found out she’s pro-military!!! and she was accusing me of being anti-military because of watching x files. like girl i am 10 episodes#into this show. i have had these views for a Long time (VERY specifically about the us military). and im just like. damn. like yeah of COURS#it’s not plastered everywhere. ‘give me some peer reviewed articles’ i would but i just cant bring myself to get the energy to get stuck in#this exhausting npd abuse loop again (sounds exaggerated but im basically falling for exacerbating the situation. which is why it’s always#hit me the hardest i guess. because she Will just straight up either not mention it ever again or just simply deny it. and i’m not exactly#educated enough on the subject to remember specific points. my memory has been destroyed BECAUSE of this kinda shit and i cant recall decent#argument points anymore. not that i even particularly want to!!! read up on all this shit!!!! oh and even realizing that she was Definitely#seeing me as an Extreme. like girl what. i forgot that npd does that#reminds me of how. she’s very liberal. she was the one who got me out of the closet in the first place (bc i wouldnt do so myself)#and yet the other day. i swear she said something that was almost terf rhetoric#FUCK i HATE that my memory has already scrambled it. fuuuuuck and here i thought my memory was coming back#but it was something along the lines of implying that men Would try to get into women’s shelters etc in a skirt or smth and i#i just stopped talking i was so shocked#god. sorry didnt mean to vent lmao but im. hhh im just Tired yknow?#mandont
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solemntitty · 2 years
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u ever just come to Realizations at 25 abt yr childhood and yr like. damn why was i always telling myself my childhood wasn't that bad so that meant that i felt like i didn't have to deal w the Effects of It All
because now we certainly need to deal with the Effects
#jamie has made a statement#most bc uhhhhh *checks notes* we cannot function#turns out having no emotionally intelligent parents + one parent having a potentially fatal chronic illness which resulted in. me being#emotionally abused by said person w a chronic illness has consequences!#mostly just intentionally locking away everything having to do with that Time#i was also severely mentally ill and friendless and uhhhh never got the treatment i actually needed bc#my therapist was on said emotional abuser's side and used to be said person's therapist before me!#my mom has also tried to get the name of my sister's therapist so uh yeah the boundaries of my parents w therapy is Not Good#also ofc mostly got berated for having Symptoms of Disorders and not being supportive enough during all of her chemo#it got to the point of me considering illegal actions#oh. typing this out i'm. realizing how bad it was#also no she never apologized.#or if she did i don't remember because it was one of the usual apology non apologies#GOD ANOTHER THING she tried to get me treatment for said mental illness when i was about 12-13 and would basically#made me??? take the meds even though i didn't want to??? it got to the point where i was spitting them back#and basically faking taking them right in front of her#she never really asked me why i felt like that and it was bc i felt like they just wanted me to be a Success and not actually. a person#imagine having a child w mental illness and making no effort to understand what their day to day experience is#she later blamed me for not getting help for my mental illness when i was a child. i had selective mutism panic attack disorder all related#to social anxiety. of course i fucking couldn't. and they would never notice until it was a Oh We Didn't Make A Normal Child issue
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broadswipeslideshow · 2 years
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damn .
#wow. it's been bad. like really bad?#ive had my shitty moments but i think the past week takes a place in the top 5#idk what the fuck has been wrong with me but oh my god i am horrible. a complete mess. i cannot even function right now#the amount of times i've dissociated the past couple of days is ??? crazy. never had that happen except 4 when i went through severe trauma#just.... i can't focus. my sight gets all fuzzy and i don't have the mental capacity to return to my body#i am just numb and lifeless and my entire being is dead weight. it's too much effort to move so i just stare into a blurry atmosphere#most of the time. wishing i was dead tbh.#every single day i think 'i'm gonna kill muself.' i say it to myself constantly#like a source of comfort or some fucked up shit#i swear to god i have missing time from the past week. like what was i doing all day? where did i go?#it kind of scares me and the fact that i think i'm hallucinating doesn't make it any better#i keep hearing voices that aren't there and i saw a cockroach in my bathroom.... but it wasn't one#it was just me imagining it plus it was way too fast to be one#but i literally gasped and flinched back and watched it go behind my toilet. yet it wasn't there#what the fuck is happening to me?#i should be happy. i got accepted into college. and yet i'm not. i'm worse than ever before#my dad doesn't even support me on this. i don't have anyone to talk to. and i just really want to fucking die#and idk. i always think to myself how much i hate myself but i never really took it that seriously#but then the other day i realized how much i truly believe and KNOW i am a bad person. i am not good.#like wow i guess i really do hate myself#starting to suspect i have bpd :/ never really thought abt it before#but from what i keep reading and seeing most of my symptoms match up perfectly#favorite person / self harm / mood swings / utter lack of care for myself / anger and resentment toward others all the time#so much shit idk. my therapist says i self harm but i really have no idea if what i do is considered self harm#i mean. i guess it has left scars. but i don't think i do it out of hatred for myself? but maybe i do#considering i've come to the conclusion that i fucking despise every aspect of myself#i don't think it's normal to put yourself in someone else's shoes and think 'why would they ever want to be friends with me?'#there's too many other things to say but. i'm stupid and ugly and i want to die and fuck my life lmao. i hate it here for real.
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lilgynt · 7 months
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my supervisor straight up yelled at my coworker/us by extension that is not how you should reprimand at all 😭😭
#personal#i drove him home today unrealted bc usually our supervisor does it and i was like 😃 oh shit im so happy he doesn’t have to drive home with#that situation#i’m gonna be driving him home now probably just bc he’s literally ON my way same path and everything plus fuck it man driving home with ur s#supervisor gotta be awkward#no but the open floor plan is so weird sometimes#like having weekly meetings where you air out what someone did wrong or give any news to by their direct coworkers is weird#personally hasn’t effected me other than the one time my supervisor came to my desk and was like are you quitting#and i was like no my dads care taker is just leaving so i’m soaking up any rest time. i have a mental illness of over sharing so i don’t#care but i’m aware on a worker level that’s not good regardless how i feel#and i’ve overheard coworker explain oh yeah rest room tjme was high bc of my period or r#not open floor plan but my supervisor complaining about someone being dumb in a very specific scenario#guess who came in next day with that exact situation#which i guess could just be venting or gossip and isn’t that deep but also awkward to say hi to my coworker than realize oh our supervisor#was shit talking you yesterday#but anyway i know my oh my god she was like other companies are like this too girl please#like. i was saying i know my work place is just kinda loosey goosey and toxic but every time i hear something i shouldn’t on this floor i’m
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lxnarphase · 3 months
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i'll give you the fire i keep inside ๋࣭ ⚝
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up to the challenge : ⌞no nut november⌝ edition [ pt 2 - pt 3 - pt 4 ]
☾₊‧⁺...ft. : gojo satoru + geto suguru
☾₊‧⁺...cw : pussy eating, praise kink, begging, premature ejaculation, clothed sex, whiny reader (gojo), smug reader (geto), satoru overestimating himself, suguru 'just the tip' geto
☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : it's nowhere near november, but i need to write this. it's based off an old post of mine from 4 years ago! so, i have no excuse 🖤
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✧ g. satoru lasts : 2 days
oh, satoru is so confident that he'll easily make it through the entirety of november. the moment he coos to you about how excited he is to participate in 'no nut november' as a challenge against suguru, he's walking around with his chest puffed out. however, he doesn't take into account that you'd be a little upset after he tells you, thinking you have to go a whole month without sex with your boyfriend. but everyone knows satoru is the best boyfriend, right? he'd neeeever let his pretty lil' mochi feel unsatisfied. so, on the second day of November, he's got you up on the kitchen counter, mouth buried between your thighs as he practically devours your cunt, messily licking and sucking at your clit as his eyes roll back just from the taste of you. after all, there's no way he'd lose this way!
it had only been two days since satoru had fucked you, how were you this wet and needy? you were dripping down his chin, soaking his fucking face, and god, he was in heaven. "c'mon, baby, grind that clit into my mouth," he fucking whines, kissing your pussy between slurps, hands holding you spread open for him to keep testing you. satoru's so hard, it hurts, his cock rubbing and twitching against the rough fabric of his sweatpants, but he couldn't touch, he wouldn't let himself. he'd be fine, all he needed was to make sure he made his baby cum. "hhf, 't-toru, 'toruuuu, i-i miss you, i miss youuu," you pitifully whine, pretty eyes filling with tears as you grew closer and closer to cumming all over his face. but just hearing you say that you miss him when it hasn't even been a fucking week almost makes satoru cum, almost. "baby, babyyy, don't say that shit," satoru whimpers, about to pull away from your dripping slit, dizzy from your words. but you don't let him, no, not when you're this close. with the cutest little huff, you look him right in his pretty blue eyes and grab a fistful of his hair, smashing his mouth right back against your cunt as you cry his name. and oh, the noise he lets out against your pussy feels so gooddd, feeling his tongue desperately licking up your cum. god, you were practically suffocating him. all that Satoru could process was you, you, you. jesus, he didn't think he'd be able to leave you alone the rest of the month, not when just going two days got you this desperate...he really was fucking you that good that you got addicted, huh? it's okay because honestly? he missed your pussy so fucking much. "'toru, satoruuu, p-please, i-i don't like this challenge anymore, miss when you stuff me w-with your cum," you whine as you ride out the last waves of your orgasm, giving him one last tug into your pussy so his mouth was right over your clit. have you always been this fucking whiny and demanding? god, satoru couldn't remember. but, you didn't realize how seriously all the tugging and those filthy, desperate words of yours would affect him. hell, he didn't know how badly it would affect him. once he separates himself from you, he's avoiding eye contact, and he's getting red. embarrassed. flustered. all it took was a quick glance down to see what the issue was. "b-baby, you...i just...how—" "'toru, did you cum in your pants?"
✧ g. suguru lasts : 2.5 weeks
the only reason suguru decided to participate in this was because satoru roped him into it. not that he didn't think he could do it, but because he knew satoru was going to lose against him. he's so thankful that you're nothing but supportive, eager for him to win this challenge with the promise of a reward of his choosing once he made it to December 1st. it's honestly not that hard. as long as he's able to still be affectionate with you, suguru is content. sure, sometimes he has to stop his imagination, but otherwise, he's fine. at least, that's until he comes home to you wearing the cutest purple thigh highs with little skulls on them. it starts off with suguru pulling you closer, making you stand between his legs as his hands rub up and down your plush thighs...but next thing you know, your legs are over his shoulders as he drags his cock up and down your slit.
"just—just the tip, okay? i can't put anymore in, princess." "suguruuuuu, just! put it in! stop teasing!" those pretty legs of yours would always be his downfall, suguru could never resist them. there wasn't anything even sexual about it, but just seeing how they squeezed your thighs so perfectly...he couldn't help himself. but if he only let himself put the tip of his dick inside that tight little hole of yours, he'd be fine...yeah, he just needed a small feel, and he'd be fine. without any more hesitation, suguru slowly sunk into your puffy pussy, letting out a shaky groan as his head fell down onto your shoulder. shit, shit, shit, it was only the tip, but you felt so good, too fucking good. "g-god, why's this cunt so wet and warm, baby? it's not fair," suguru hissed, lifting his head to look down to where you both were connected. "s'not my fault you wanted to do this dumb challenge," you hummed, a little smug smile on your face. "stop listenin' to satoru, you'll get stupid like him." it made him laugh, you were so amused by him barely holding himself together...and he couldn't blame you, he wasn't the type to break so easily... "s-suguruuu, wait, you said just the tip, that's—suguuuu!" suguru let out the most scandalized gasp when he realized his entire cock was being hugged by your soft, hot walls. it was so cute, though, how you tried to help him, to let him know so he didn't lose. such a sweetheart, weren't you? but, suguru was too far gone. he had slowly begun inching himself inside of you, not even realizing it until it was too late. not being able to stop his hips from moving, thrusting in and out of you, creating a little ring of cream around the base of his cock as his dick dragged against those soft spots inside you that made you keen his name. "oh, princess, angel, you're so sweet, you know that? s-shit, listen to that pussy...she missed this? she missed the feeling of her sugu inside? hm? fuuuck, fuck it, 'm-'m gonna give you what you need, baby, d-don't worry," he says in a needy rasp, pressing his forehead against yours, giving you a delirious little grin. yeah, suguru knew he was going to lose today...he'd be damned if he didn't cum all over this sweet cunt. all because of some stupidly cute socks.
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all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
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voyeurmunson · 4 months
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Drunk Dial: Eddie Munson blurb
18+ Minors DNI
"I just wanted to tell you something, as a friend." Eddie goes on. You've been on the phone for 15 minutes now. You can tell he's had one too many beers. His words running together a bit, his voice a little louder than usual.
"Of course." you tease, a giggle falling from your lips. You had just finished a joint when your phone rang, Eddie insisting he had something important to tell you.
"Your body is bangin.”
"Bangin' huh?" you giggle, your cheeks reddening immediately, grateful that he wasn't standing in front of you.
"Listen.. even friends can appreciate their friends uh-parts." he slurs, a little giggle slipping his lips.
"That skirt the other day, baby. Fuuuck." He groans dramatically. "Your ass.. your fucking curves."
"Eddie." you whisper, barely able to speak as compliments continue pouring from his lips. This wasn't the first time Eddie had said something like this but he wasn't usually so blunt.
"Shhh! I'm just trying to tell you." he chuckles again, "I would have bent you over right then and there if you woulda let me." his playful tone darkens in an instant.
"I-" Suddenly you wished he was standing in front of you.
"Mmm.. I can picture it now." he hums. "Pushing your skirt above your hips. Teasing you first. Do you like to be teased, sweetheart?"
"Fuck, Eds." you breathe out, your heart pounding in your chest, your pussy beginning to throb from his words.
"Shit, sorry baby.. I'm a little," he pauses to hiccup loudly, "a little drunk."
"It's okay.. I-I do like to be teased, by the way." you whisper into the phone, not wanting the conversation to end. Your high giving you a little boost of confidence.
"Yeah? Can I tell you what I'd do first?Hypothetically.” he rasps.
"Please." you whimper.
"Shit.. yeah, okay. First I'd bend you over.. like we talked about." he says giddily.
"Mhmm."
"Then I'd run my fingers up your thigh slowly until I reach your panties. I bet they'd be wet. Would they be wet, sweetheart?"
"So wet." you purr, escalating the situation further, resulting in a deep moan from Eddie.
Fuck, he's hot.
"I would bring my fingertips to your clit, starting slow. Teasing you just a bit. Then I'd move lower, feeling your soaked panties."
"Soaked?" you egg him on.
"Fucking drenched." he groans.
"What next?"
He chuckles lustfully at your eager tone. "I'd slip them to the side.. what color are they, baby?"
"Red. Lacy."
"Fuck me. Mmm.. okay. I'd slip the lace to the side, finally feeling you on my fingers.."
"Fast or slow?"
"Slow, in and out, I bet you feel so fucking good.”
“How many fingers?" he moans growing hard at the thought.
"Two?"
"Two.. yeah.. two sounds good. I'd start slow, gliding them in and out, speeding up, listening to your sounds.. finger fucking you real good, sweetheart. Make you cum all over my hand. God, know you'd be so wet."
"So wet for you, Eddie. My pussy would be so wet for you." you purr, surprising yourself with your words.
"Sweetheart... you're gonna make me cum." he blurts out at the same time that you blurt out your own sentence. "Do you wanna come over?"
"Yes. God, yes." he answers hastily.
"Wait, Eddie.. I don't think you should drive right now."
"No, no, no. I'm not driving. Stevie here is gonna drive me. Aren't ya buddy? Oh, here. You wanna say hi?" You hear a rustling on the other end of the phone. Oh god.
"Uh.. hi." Steve mutters awkwardly through the phone.
"Heh.. hi Steve." your face blushes profusely as you realize Steve must have been there the whole time.
"So. uh- need me to bring him?"
"Mhmm.. yeah. Please."
"I'm about to fuck your brains out." Eddie's voice comes through the phone again. CLICK.
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ickadori · 5 months
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i dunnooo i feel like whenever you’re mean to yuji it turns him on, you’d be cursing him out nd he’d already be like half hard
I also feel like Yuji would beg to put it in😊
idk I just want him to throw me around
[cws] fem reader
[an] you get it!! i know it in my heart that yuji likes his partner to be a little mean :( a little spoiled, a little bratty! it makes it that much better when he finally gets you to be his sweet mushy baby that’s only that way with him !!
yuji knows that you have a bit of an attitude problem, and he knows that he probably enables it, never once chiding you for the way you speak and act with him.
you drag him shopping with you whenever the urge strikes, which is worryingly frequent, and shove bag after bag into his arms, not even so much as uttering a thank you, just fully expecting him to be your human pack-mule.
whenever he gives another woman his attention, even if for something as simple as giving out directions, you’re shooting daggers his way and refusing to speak to him, answering him with huffs and hmphs until you deem him worthy enough for actual words.
it’s mean, you’re mean, and he should really say something about it and get it under control… but he can’t deny that the spoiled, bratty act gets his cock hard and his brain fuzzy.
“god, yuji! it’s like you have a bunch of rocks up there or something!” your finger taps against his forehead twice as you bend at the waist, and he silently looks up at you, eyes lidded and cheeks flushed as his cock chubs up against his thigh. “it’s as if everything i say just goes in one ear and out the other, you never listen.”
you’ve got one hand on your hip, the other animatedly moving around as you talk a mile a minute, eyebrows scrunched together and eyes narrowed on him.
yuji has no idea what you’re saying, but he knows he’s heard this spiel a thousand times before and isn’t missing out on anything too important - at least, nothing more important than how badly he wants to stuff you full of his cock until you’re sputtering out apologies and drowning him in kisses.
you always get so sweet and pliant when he’s fucked you full—cunt full of his seed and hole left gaping. you make sure to cradle him close and kiss all over his face, hands running through his hair as you whisper i’m sorry’s into his skin.
“—doing it again! yuji, you’re not listening to me!” he zones back in just in time to see your hand coming towards him. “you’re so annoying. just go home—!” he snags ahold of your wrist, and with a gentle tug you’re falling forward into his lap, your hands shooting out to brace yourself against his chest, while his move to encircle around your waist, arms flexing and tensing as they pull you close, his aching cock pushing up into your cunt, thin layers of fabric keeping him from sinking inside.
“i’m sorry,” he rasps, your lashes fluttering as you give him a bewildered look. “let me make it up to you, yeah?” realization dawns after a moment, and you shake your head, hands weakly pushing at his shoulders.
“huh? no, yuji, i was—oh.” he rocks his hips into you, hands moving down to palm your ass, a cheek in each hand.
“please?” he croaks, cock aching and leaking and throbbing and begging to go where it belongs. “can i put it in? can i fuck you? can i make you come, baby? can i?” he rocks against you with every question, his forehead resting against yours as he holds your gaze. “let me show you how sorry i am, baby. let me make it right.”
and you give in, you always do, his sweet pliant girl. he just has to get his hands on you first, tell you what you need to hear, sit you on his cock and make you come a few times, maybe even get you to squirt depending on if he wants you to be nicer for a couple days.
it won’t last but so long, that little honeymoon phase you two go through every time yuji gets between your legs, but he’s already looking forward to the next time.
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