#just makes me so so so so so sicj

[yearofthefishes]

bad tummy time

#ogh #warbles #grey took me to my favorite dispensary and i got a mostly cbd cart and thank fucking god #i need cannabis i dont feel like i can live without it #it helps so much #i was using really high thc carts and they made me kinda sick and fucked me up #this one has really low thc so i feel a lot better and its a lot more pleasant #but ive felt super sick today regardless :( #could be from ptsd and trauma/flashbacks or from too much sugar yesterday and a messed up schedule plus not enough good fresh good #food #had a lemonade that had processed sugar which i never ever do and just instantly lost everything in my gut 😞 #my system cant manage processed sugar At All #i have to be either sugar free or plant sugars exclusivey i.e. agave or maple syrup or honey or fruit #no monk fruit though #bluh #processed cane sugar is the fucking worst thing for my entire system #almosy worse than dairy #just makes me so so so so so sicj

[heartscrypt]

Hii! I have a question about your thoughts on jamiazu.

Do you think that Azul would ever be able to confess any romantic feelings for Jamil? If so, how? And if not, would they be able to get together in any other way?

Sorry if this is a weird question, just curious.

thanks for your question! it is SO not weird at all i really enjoy stuff like this. actually i am going to go on a huge ramble that goes on a little tangent so like. LONG POST AHEAD!!!! be warned!!!!!

anyways. azul is always confessing his romantic feelings for jamil whether he knows it or not. in every interaction. because he's so damn obvious. hope this helps LOL

in all seriousness though. i really like to think that azul is kind of cursed to be a hopeless romantic despite it going against all of his pragmatic sense. i mean. he's a child of divorce who hates leaving things up to chance and he believes in getting something back whenever he gives something away. being head over heels with someone goes against his whole nature, so i think it's definitely a new thing for him. he won't recognize that his feelings are romantic right away because he'll be too busy trying to justify to himself why he's investing so much time and energy into a guy that Clearly wants nothing to do with him and won't give him the time of day. its business, guys, i swear.... stonks.....

i think once he does come to terms with it though. it starts leaking through in Every Interaction he has w/jamil. in every encounter, azul basically ends up saying I Love You without actually ever speaking it out loud. whether it's through his actions (like getting jamil gifts / offering to help out without any genuine expectation of repayment) or or his words (like implying things about them being good together / complimenting jamil excessively). things he did before he realized, but they just have so much more Weight to them now that he Knows he likes the other in a very Non-Platonic-Business-Partners way. he doesn't intend for it to have that emotional weight but its fucking impossible for him to hide and he does NOT know what to do with himself.

he keeps pushing forward regardless because some part of him hopes that his feelings will reach jamil but he also does it with the expectation that jamil will push back like he always has and that's completely fine by him because never actually directly admitting that these feelings are romantic means that the rejections also stay platonic and that is. Way easier to bounce back from. because god forbid jamil sees at who he is behind all the walls he's put up to protect his most vulnerable and emotional self and ends up hating the real azul too.

tl;dr: i don't think azul would go out of his way to make a real, honest confession of his feelings. but he's so obvious it actually hurts to watch

---

ok so. as for jamiazu get-together:

maybe im like super biased b/c im a sucker for narratives that involve jamil learning to shake his passivity and going ahead and Taking what he wants. but i always think that any scenario where jamiazu gets together has to be initiated by jamil somehow. azul can make the first move and several moves after that but jamil has to be the one to make the Final move if that makes sense.

i don't have like. one set get-together scenario but i have a couple that i like to rotate in my head sometimes. most of them involve azul being a failgirl and getting caught off guard because i think it's funny and jamil also thinks it's funny. here are two for your viewing pleasure:

azul makes a pass at jamil that is romantic-coded but could be interpreted as platonic. jamil seizes the opportunity to turn it Explicitly into a romantic thing and fluster azul to no end about it.

azul: there's a new tasting menu at the mostro lounge if you'd like to come with me and try, i'd love to see what your discerning palette makes of it ^__^!

jamil, very casually: yeah sure. why not. i'll go on a date with you

azul, who did NOT expect a yes so his head is about to explode in t-minus 5 seconds: oh, uh. that's .fantastic, actually— wait. ....DATE?!?!?;!?

jamil corners azul and admits romantic feelings first. bonus points if it's a situation where any romantic confession would be incredibly out of the blue. and the way that jamil says it is like dropping a bomb on azul

like in potions lab. azul's concentrating very hard on pouring an exact amount of a substance. jamils watching him and at some point out of nowhere he breaks the silence in between them by going "i think i like you. in the romantic sense". azul's concentration snaps immediately and he fumbles the beaker into the cauldron out of sheer WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. it explodes in both of their faces. they both have no chance to address what jamil said because crewel is chewing them out for the next 15 minutes about lab safety. during the entire 15 minutes azul looks like he's been hit over the head with several bricks. Repeatedly. jamil's smirking the whole time though he dgaf. takes pleasure in flustering azul

anyways. im insane about these guys ♥️ if you stuck around and read the entire post im really sorry for writing so much i just have a lot of thoughts

#twst #twisted wonderland #jamil viper #azul ashengrotto #jamiazu #azujami #jamie talks #txt post #the public forum #again. sorry for the long post. oh god they make me so sicj #delusional posting tbh #the azul hopeless romantic hc is something that is very special to me #something about it is just very good. goes against his entire character but he cant help but Feel that way although he knows its irrational #also a big fan of jamiazu situationship #where jamil still insists that he finds azul insufferable and azul calls jamil his future business partner #but they also make out on a regular basis. so obviously they're both not telling the truth #so fucking funny to me. but thats not what you asked so ill elaborate on that eventually on another post

[soundsofastar]

rant ab the tech industry in the tags read if u want

#uhhhwhere do i begin. I want to work on ai and robots and stuff really bad. I:d have fun. I love them. Etc #But the way the industry is going i really don’t want to be involved in creating things that are actively currently used to ruin people’s #lives. Or even take them. That)s just so backwards #it makes me so terribly fucking sad bevause there’s so much potential to do good but it just isn’t doing that #Because of CAPITALISM and RICH ASSHOLES and VIOLENCE and augh. Augh can’t we all just chill for a minute? Can we kill the rich and start #Loving each other? For once??? Like plesse. Plesse i’m so sicj and tired #I want to help people with new tools but the tool is currently stained wuth blood and it seems to posess people to kill and hurt further #I don’t want to sacrifice my humanity to find more ways to spill blood

[chonnysinferno]

me when i follow someone / talk to someone and yhen find out they're a cj shipper :-(

#i wont wttack ppl for being cj shippers! i just fucking hate findinf out that. you knie #its more like. how do i explain thus #it makes nme so sicj to my stomach #and also i am a heart introjevt. somewhat #:-C #its my fault for not looking into their acc more but it sickens me so much #its a personal problem honestly and i wont bother anyone for being one ill just block em #i see them and remember source memories and i m rmemeber them as siblings! and not just people #</3 #rant over sorry #— 🌗

[noelashe]

i hate thiz about myself thst whenevr in stressed my body just stafts making shit up about what its feeling im not sicj in not sad i cant be i dont want to be andbim not sick but nowni feel like i am because i feel bad and anxious. and anxiety makes me sick when im not really and it doesjt countnas an illness. even ifnits mental illness i dont want ir to count im stubborn and its gonna go away so. i just feel stupid as fuck for, feeling bad whenever i do

[artbyramen]

I’m tired I don’t really want to draw anymore I just hate everything I make it’s not valuable to me it doesn’t bring me joy anymore I just dislike it because I did it not because it’s ugly or not good enough I really can’t explain it I feel sick. I’m going to get back to drawing asap because I really can’t not draw everyday (autism) but I’m still gonna feel disgusted while doing so. I hate it I hate it I hate the social media I hate how it ruined drawing making art and socializing for me I hate that people interact with me and I have to interact back because I need to be nice and polite but I’m tired I really just want to quit fandoms forever no I will do it eventually and I will only probably share art somewhere in silence and I will never interact with anyone ever again I just feel sicj

[cowboysamkiszka]

a series of unfortunate events

i redownload twt, i scroll 5 seconds, i only see gross & hateful content *suggested* to me by twt from supposed fans of gvf, i immediately delete it again, i return to my true home

#‼️rant ahead #im not talking about the awful stuff they love to say about the guys and esp danny #but i met these really cool people on fb and im in a gc with them #and one of the girls posted something in the larger group of the show we are going to bc shes one of the admins and it was just about day of #the show stuff literally nothing #and now hers and a couple other girls names ARE BEING POSTED AND PASSED AROUND TWT SAYING THR MOST HORRIBLE AWFUL THINGS #like theyre afraid for their own safety and the rest in our group bc we are mostly younger girls and theyre out there threatening them #and theyre so upset and genuinely afraid and it makes me sicj #it was literally nothing and now theyre taking the post down and it was literally about wristbands so people could leave the line #to use the restroom or grab some food and come back #definitition of not very peaceful army of them #but go figure a lot of them also HATE danny which tracks #im literally so upset over this yall have no idea #not to ramble but im rambling #justeviethings #probably deleting this later but i had to get it out

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Ordered tea and was given coffee and this is why when the zombies rise up I'm killing Tim Horton with my bare hands.

#they even READ MY ORDER BACK TO MR #*me #they got the milk and sugar right!!! #i fucking HATE coffee the smell and taste makes me sicj #im so mad im sick and just rly wanted tea #before anyone comes after me about being nice to minimim wage workers and how this isnt a big deak #i worked at tims i know its cool im just mad that i paid for something i can't drink #and that its fucking coffee

[khaleesiofalicante]

three words: WHAT THE FUCK

also, Dont blame me by Taylor swift for Max and Rafael respectively

MAX AND MINA

Besides, this is not the sort of thing he could talk to Rafael about. Rafael was a goody-two-shoes. He followed the rules and respected the law.

I AM IN THE CAR AND I BURST OUT LAUGHING I THINK MY MOM THINKS IVE GONE CRAZY

Bestie Rafael doesn't follow the law

This sounds too good to be true...

But also

What if-

Look I love elyaas but Mina's right

He's a demon

A RED FLAG RIGHT THERE

That is totally something David would say NOW I MISS HIM

Oh

Oh right

Lancelot

I forgot about that

ALRIGHT BITCHES PACK YOUR BAGS WE'RE GOING TO EDOM

It's time for a family visit

Smh quite rude of Magnus and Alec to not introduce their kids to their grandfather

Asmodeus was bad. Very, very, bad.

Those people (ykw): bUt hE'S fAmILy

Huh

What happened to James?

OH BELIAL

Bestie don't die

He remembered his lessons. Bapak had trained him since Max had been a toddler. They had tempted him with so many things. Max had resisted them all.

Bapak had been so proud of him.

Because Max had resisted power and riches and beauty and strength and all of it.

But they hadn’t told him. They hadn’t told him the hardest temptation was love.

How was he supposed to resist this?

Listen

You wanna go to hell for love? DO IT! FOLLOW IN ALEC'S FOOTSTE

THE MAGIC KISS PARALLEL

David

David, I am sorry.

David, will you ever forgive me?

I’m not Lancelot. I’m just Max.

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.

BESTIE DON'T MAKE ME CRY

HE HAD A EARRING PHASE

Will...

Oh god it smells like fish here who tf-

Prob my neighbor

I hate fish

Oh right back to being sad

Ok Magnus why are you sad

RAFAEL

You can’t be there for people only when it’s convenient for you.”

Uncle Jace, of course, had been taking pictures and sending them to people like it was no big deal.

JACE WHAT

Oh god he doesn't know yet...

Well Rafael you see...

“Rafe,” Max said in horror. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Is dad sick?”

“No, hermanito,” Rafael smiled, pushing away the unshed tears. “We are both okay. I’m just worried.”

“Well, don’t be worried about something that hasn’t happened yet,” Max pointed out. “It’s stupid.”

OH MY GOD NO

“I'm the fucked up irresponsible son, okay? There is no room for two of us."

Ms to my brofher

AWW HE TURNS PURPLE WHEN HE'S SUNBURNT

A PURPLE TELETUBBY BYE-

“Why are you being so…angsty?!?”

Us at you

Anjali was a cuddler.

OH MY GOD SHE'S A CUDDLER

He's so in love it's adorable

Her lips had the power to make him break the law – and burn the world down if necessary.

I FUCKING SCREAMED

MY MOM CAME TO GIVE ME LUNCH I SWEAR SHE THINKS IVE LOST IT

It made him realize that sometimes – very rarely – bad things led to good things.

He wished it would be the same right now.

Same my boy same

He had no idea what was going on

muffled because food sdhs sicj

I actually said that with my mouth full

SHUT UP HE'S WEARING MAGNUS' CLOTHES FOR COMFORT

Alec

What preparation

Tell me now

DAMN IT ALEC YOU STILL GOING IDRIS???

MICHAEL SAID NOT TO

ALEC STOP TALKING LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE YOU'RE NOT

AWW HE'S BUYING DONUTS JUST LIKE ALEC DID

Anjali

Lol what

Nope nope nope

Imma stay in denial

I'm gonna go get food

Idk what you're talking about

Anjali you're not dying idc idc

RAFAEL NO

FUCKING NO

NO NO NO

STOP DOING SHIT LIKE THIS

Lol Magnus you ain't going anywhere sit your ass down

ENBY CHARACTER OMG

“I will tie you up in the dungeon of the labyrinth if I have to,” Ragnor said – a little too seriously.

Do it

NO ONE IS GOING TO EDOM

Malcolm...

FUCK STOP MAKING ME SAD

While mundane parents talk to their children about sex or drugs, Magnus had to talk to his children about greater demons and necromancy.

True dat

Only my parents didn't talk to me about sex

I learned that shit

Although I'd say we're pretty good at talking about it now

Tessa hummed at that. “I don’t know about that. The last time my children were acting secretive, one of them was fighting a greater demon and the other was bringing her boyfriend back to life. And don’t even get me started on Kit!”

AHHH JAMES AND LUCIE

AWW ALEC'S TRYING TO COOK

“Listen here, bud,” Alec lifted a finger. “You can either stay here and help me or get out of the kitchen and take your negativity with you.”

Max smiled. “I’ll take option two, please. My negativity and I will see you at dinner.”

MAX JAHDIDUWOSJDH

Wait

Does Alec know he's sick?

He messed up the recipe thrice, burned his hand twice, and almost threw the pan out the window once before giving up.

HEY WHY YOU TRYNA THROW ME OUT

I have to do it while I can, Alec wanted to say. I’m catching up for all the ones I am going to miss.

I just wanted to eat in peace

Why don't you go back to messing up the recipe?

MAGNUS NOOO

Alec STOP

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT

Max ate five more – because he had the appetite of a whale.

MAX AKDUSODHJDOS

Same

Oh...Max realized it's Anjali

Alec knew Magnus wasn’t happy about him going to Idris.

Literally no one is BUT DO YOU CARE?? NO NO NO GO AHEAD MAKE ME CRY

Shit

YES JACE

Alec I'm very sorry but you deserved rhat

Lmaoo Alec talking about telling Rafael but he's planning on being a mundane

The way he's talking shut up shut up

“Are you saying that a world run by Zara could be better than a world run by you?” Jace asked, looking pissed. “Your mundane condition must have affected your head - because that’s just stupid.

So true

Idris is probably in ruins

I just tossed all my clothes of the blanket because I needed it let's see how long it takes for my mom to sense it

Jace...

FUCKING HELL IM CRYING

If you want me to fight, I will fight Raziel.”

ME TOO

RAFAEL NO

NO

RAFAEL DON'T BE A SHIT

Alec talking about how Rafael is gonna be the consul after he's dead and take care of stuff and Rafael just-

NO

Magnus is having an amazing time I see. One of his sons wants to go to Edom to get his boyfriend back, the other wants to leave the shadow world and his husband is dying

DANI NO

BRO OMG YOU GENIUS

THAT SONG REC HOLY SHIT

I added it to the lbaf playlist 😎

#thank yooooou #lbaf

[sour--disposition]

this is just me venting about my dad pls feel free to ignore it if u want

my dad treats me and my older sister like such shit, she works with him and literally left the office crying over the stuff he’s said to her today?? and i can’t have a conversation with him without it being about me and making so blind fucking angry

and i imagine its the same for my younger sister but we dont talk at all ever, never met the girl, but like??? the man has three children to three women, all three daughters dislike him, soon none of them will have his last name

like its genuinely bad enough between me and him that i’ve asked my mums parents if theyd be okay with me taking their last name when the divorce is done and my mum goes back to her maiden name... i genuinely do not wanna be assocaited with this cunt in any way shape or fucking form

lm so sicj and fucking tired of him and how he treats me and my mum and my sister and he doesnt even see it?? thinks its some kind of joke?? i cant bleieve he cant recognise that telling me everything started going wrong when i was born, that he forgets about me and that he knows he’s been a bad dad but *insert rolling laughing emoji*

like READ THE FUCKING ROOM BRO

i cannot believe i was best friends with this man for 18 years of my life

and the fact that ON MY BIRTHDAY he had a 20 min phone call in the toilet with his girlfriend whilst i waited in the bar on my own or that fact that he walked out the day after my 18th birthday so now birthdays are ruined for me and UGH

and like sometimes i dont even know how to put it into words bc some members of my family try to play devils advocate and dont relaise that i then sometimes feel super fucking guilty which makes everything 375 times worse and

UGHHH

the end thank u xx

[tgrobintpa]

Lil ole emerging Bi sissy me

Yes its me so lets talk

I live in South Florida. Though I may have traveled seriously for work this has been my base and home. And I am not lookig to relocate OK?

I am fully going into transition, yes M2F, as soon as I have a guide by my side. Not easy to do . But She can help me walk, talk, act, think more like the woman I crave to become and eternal happiness and repayment in many ways as I travel the road.

I am fully bisexual and a bottom and not shy nor denying it. I am uncollared though I do search but to no aval yet. Too many broke fakes out here in our leather life it seems. Online is not my thing except to answer questions, set up meets, or do a lil biz my way since I am an accomplished content creator. Maybe we can work together? I have a box of projects that needs funding and you can help and make $$ too

Just ask and lets see

We can talk biz and a legal one too

Or if local we can be friends or more...sicj of this billshit and being lonely and very unsatisfied as I become a woman without a guide who will help me in time be penis free and maybe your girl too?

Lets hook up and talk. Have a coffee or a drink..I am datable too so go figure lol

Ladies sister trans or even select guys but boyfriend isnt on the table currently

You may find I am what you are missing without a price tah attached

Kisses all

[frankpunisher]

🐍

#my guys i hate being sicj #i went to latin today and couldnt answer any of his questions #and if i move too fast i get dizzy #also i cant breathe #and like i sound so nasally which makes me sound more feminine #and my hands are so shaky #i just want to sleep #but im so far behind on schoolwork #and my ear hurts #aaaaaaaa #i just want sleep #ask to tag #a whisper

[pumkinpaws-archive-moved]

im so fucking sicj of feeling like shit all the time. im disgusting and this place is fucking filthy and so am i and im hurting and sick and disgusting and i fucking hate my "life" and i fucking hate myself because im not even a person. i have no personality even im just a body with pain and trauma and 11 years worth of acne scars and i fucking hate God for making me and i fucking hate everyone else because you all arent me and thats a fucking blessing and i hate all of you hecause you get to not be me

[annieleonhardt]

I feel like Annie would be a lightweight in terms of drinking. It just takes one shot of jaegermeister and she's drunk-dialling Armin at 3AM to talk about feelings.

So Annie and I are further confirmed as the same person essentially?

OKAY BUT yeah I can kinda see that lmao like on the one hand I can see her being able to hold down a lot but also this is so funny just poor Armin’s fast asleep and then his phone goes off. He’s all sorts of groggy. 

“Hnn, Hello?”

“Ohh my fjufhv god Armlet. Amlert. Hamlet. Arm. Fjucking why do your do this to me you make me so sicj.”

“...excuse me?”

“ur fjcufhbv cute fuckign face i hate it so muchh i love i tim gonna. punch it. with my mouth. im gonna punch ur mouth with my mouth yeah take that.”

“Annie, please drink some water.”

#asks yay #aruani #Y'all have seen me drunk so just imagine lmao #Anonymous

[daspuffin]

I’m realizing I’m on the border of having a full on phobia of raw meat- and I think it’s time to accept that and just... fucking stop buying any 

#like I've always known it freaks me out #like raw beef and chicken make me want to puke but I have no problem with eating meat #and I have no problem cooking for people if I'm making something vegetarian or vegan #but if theres any meat in it i'll get panic attacks thinking I made everyone sick #and I just cooked tacos with Human Vincent for about 40 cancer patients and I've been having panic attacks all night #about weither or not I just made anyone sicj #and I know- I KNOW I didn't do anythingwrong #I overcooked the meat #made sure to wash my hands and change my gloves #cleaned off all the counters #and just... #god I haven't been able to relax my anxiety #and I'm going to go back to therapy tomorrow #I am being ridiculus. #also it was high quality beef so- even if it wasn't fully cooked you can eat medium rare beef so even then it would be fine #but I want to cry my anxiety is so bad #human vincent and I went out for tea so both of us could relax afterwords #and I think I'm going to go downstairs and lift weights until my brain just focuses on that

[softpetale]

.

#anyway also apparenlty jasper... is very sicj and not doing well #today in general? just not a good one #literally im so brain dead rn this probably wont even make sense #i love him and miss him and wow im lowkey bitter my parents never noticed when things were wrong with him #pls... my bby #if this was about dexter or jack they wouldve noticed pretty quickly and yet... #poor bud. hope hes ok but i have a bad feeling #me