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zackcrazyvalentine · 3 years

Note

I saw your request open. I dunno how to do these things but here I go. My request is a headcannon of mammon dealing with mc who has hay-fever. So like mammon doesn't understand and thinks mc is upset with him or something( cos you get them teary eyes) something cute and fluffy with comfort?

Hey, hey~! Sorry requests are taking a little longer to fulfill, but here’s yours!

Hay fever sounds like a pain to deal with xc

Take good care, all of you who suffer allergies!

-- -- --

😈💛 Mammon 💰💸

Since the Devildom is so different to the human world, maybe they pushed aside the thought of their hay fever (or they play forgot because same, it just happens, and you remember once it comes back)

The alarm rings once their nose gets itchy, throat a bit scratchy as if it weren’t properly hydrated, and eyes get a little watery from time to time

“Say, Satan, do Devildom flowers and plants have a season where the majority bloom? Do they- Do they release pollen?”

“Ah, yes, they do. It’s around this time of year where most of the bushes and trees you see planted around RAD and streets begin their blooming. Is there a particular reason why you ask?”

“Uhm… well, you see…”

After the well-read demon knows, he pesters Lucifer to either let him go up to the human world to buy the necessary medicine or have the prideful demon go up himself

But due to his overbusy schedule, Lucifer pushed back the errand a handful of times

Few days go by and the symptoms worsen. They decide to stay as much as they can in their room and reduce their time outside as much they can to prevent further exposure…. and prevent a certain whit haired demon from seeing them in their state

So far, only 2/7 demons know of their predicament

Perhaps Satan takes the task to inform some of the others, or maybe he leaves them with the mystery (latter being most probable)

Meanwhile, Mammon feels conflicted, and a little sad

[Name] used to be by his side the whole time! They shared nightclub and casino adventures together! They got in trouble together! They went shopping together! They were birds of a feather!

Now, though? They’re running away from him after sharing the quickest looks

“Are their eyes red? They’re sniffling, with glossy eyes…” A sudden pang on his chest, “Ah… Did I hurt ‘em without realizing it?”

He’s scratching his head, thinking REAL hard where he screwed up. Nothing comes to mind

Last week, both of them were all smiles and laughter, casual hand holding and occasional cuddle sessions… What happened? What went wrong?

The 2nd eldest goes around pestering his brothers, in order of who he saw interacting with [Name] as of recent

It took all his energy to make Lucifer actively listen to him

“Yo, Luci! Am serious!! There must be something wrong with [Name]! Please please, listen this once!”

Something in Mammon’s tone alerted the red eyed demon. “Why such anguish? Speak, waste no time.”

“Ya see, they were all fine and cuddly with me last week, but-but now..! Haven’t ya noticed how they just… keep to their room all the time?! They barely come out! And i-it seems like they cry lotsa times through the day!”

“Cry?” Lucifer was mildly shocked by the word.

“Yah! Their eyes are red and teary, sniffles come from ‘em constantly and they’re always holdin’ napkins to their nose!” Concern furrowed the tan demon’s brows. “What coulda happened?”

That’s when Lucifer sighs in irritation at himself while rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It’s their hay fever… I forgot to get the medicines to help them through it…” He then tasks Mammon to go buy the supplies ASAP, no fooling around

Couple hours later, as they’re sneezing up a storm in their room, a knock calls for their attention

“P-Please don’t bother today! I’m not feeling so g-” Sneeze, “good…”

“Yo, it’s the Great Mammon! Better open up now before I kick down the door!”

A chortle bubbled up their throat, making them cough a little afterwards due to the itch there. “Sure thing~... but seriously, Mammon, please leave… I feel miserable”

Their lock clicking open startled them. Sure enough the Avatar of Greed was there

He let himself in and placed the small bag in their lap. “Lucifer told me… Sheesh, can’t believe he was this forgetful! Even after having Satan bother him a whole day to get this for ya he still forgot.”

Eye drops, antihistamine, a nasal spray… all with the correct active ingredients to treat the symptoms

Blue-yellow eyes softened once he saw their face brighten at the contents of the bag. “And some [fav. snack]! Aww, thank you lots, Mammon! You’re THE greatest one of all~!”

“Tell me next time, ‘kay? There I was thinkin’ you were upset at me and were cryin’ all day due to us being apart.”

A teasing smirk crossed their lips, “Were you worried~?”

Blushing, he admitted, “Y-Yes! And very m-much so!” He ‘tch’d and looked away from the embarrassment, “You’re a nice human to be ‘round, ya know? I missed spending time together…”

Instructing him to take off the jacket to lessen some of his pollen count, they proceeded to take their medicine and lay in bed with the demon to cuddle ❤️

From then on, they became more open to notify Mammon about any of their ailments or bad moods

Rest assured, he’s a sweetheart and becomes so gentle around them to help any way he can

Snacks? He’ll fight Beel for them. Medicines? He gladly goes up to buy those (just give him a detailed list of what he’s looking for, list the active ingredients) Alone time? The most he can do is wait outside their door, sorry lol A shoulder to cry on bc they feel so miserable, someone to squeeze as much as they need until they feel better? He’s more than signed up!

Once Mammon has warmed up to them, he will do all he can to make them feel better

May not be the best nurse, but his lungs and throat are potent enough to holler someone over to check you and help with those matters

He’s prone to panic when symptoms begin, but a quick reassurance can calm him significantly

Overall, someone nice to be taking care of you. Definitely brings more moral and emotional support than acting as a nurse or reminder of taking meds, but still much better than other people out there

-- -- --

Thank you for your request~!

Please do take lots of care, even more so now, to know if your symptoms are those of an allergy or another illness!

Hope you enjoyed~ ヾ(๑╹ヮ╹๑)ﾉ”

#March 2021 special #request pavillion #obey me #obey me x reader #mammon x reader #om mammon #mammon obey me #mammon #swd #obey me!#obey me shall we date #zack writes #soul cuddle

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loser-writings · 4 years

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Hihii you’re literally one of my fav Writers 🥺 could I get that one shot w Omega!Aizawa having a nightmare abt Oboro and the reader comforting him ?

This builds off of the Omega! Aizawa story I wrote a while ago! I hope you meant for the night I mentioned Aizawa having a nightmare in-between 2nd and 3rd year. If you meant adult Aizawa, please let me know! I’ll write a series of headcanons about how he deals with nightmares now.

WARNING: Spoilers for the Manga, Major character death, sexual implications

Nightmares || Young Omega! Aizawa

Oboro was gone. He had been for a few months now, but Aizawa wouldn’t have known that based on how frequent the boy appeared in his dreams. Always so supportive and kind, memories started to blur with his dreams which only caused more pain.

Then there were those nights. The nights where he went to bed with high hopes that Oboro would be there to reassure him once again that he was worth it. That he was worthy of being a hero and that he was good for something, even as an Omega, but it only reminded him of how time seemed to move so slow during that moment. During his death.

His voice was so clear too. The whole time he fought the villain after Oboro had been crushed, he swore that he had been cheering him on. Yet, he vividly remembered the bloody body bag as well. He was gone, and no matter what he attempted to do in his dreams, they always ended the same way.

He launched himself out of bed once again, scent burning as several distressed chirps left his omega. He placed his hand over his chest, trying to calm his heavy breathing as well as his omega before taking a moment to look around. He was in his bedroom. He was awake. He could feel the hardwood under his feet. He was acutely aware of how his pajamas rubbed against his body. He was breathing. He was alive.

His scent continued to burn as he slowly sat back down on his bed, resting his head in his hands as he tried to remember what exactly he did this time. The dream was already fading, but he swore it had something to do with those kids. God he felt so bad for those kids, barely older than pups and yet they already witnessed the cruel reality of the world.

Another chirp left his chest.

He groaned softly as tears threatened to spill and his breathing became uneven. He was getting in his head again. Overthinking. Oboro told him to stop that- Goddamn it everything brought him back to his friend. He needed a distraction.

He reached over to his phone and quickly turned it on, blinding his sensitive eyes as he clumsily turned down the brightness. After he could properly look at his phone, he quickly found your contact name and sent a simple text.

“Open your window. I’ll be there soon”

He pressed send before quickly gathering the bag he had prepared beforehand. Maybe he did overthink. Maybe he was in his head too much and overprepared, but that couldn’t have been a bad thing...Right?

He continued to ponder as he left his bedroom through his window, knowing he didn’t have to sneak out. His parents didn’t really care what he did, but he still didn’t want to risk waking them up.

Once his feet hit the ground, he started walking towards your place. Luckily, it wasn’t that far away and it gave him enough time to compose himself. He stopped crying and his scent wasn’t as bitter as before, but he was well aware of how animals seemed to flee from him and other people seemed to cringe or cover their noses as he walked by.

He never really cared for the coffee scent he had, finding it mildly ironic because of his disgust at the thought of drinking the bitter liquid, but you never seemed to mind it. In fact, it seemed like you were almost as addicted to the scent as a middle aged woman was to the actual drink. He smiled a little at the joke in his head before realizing he was almost to your house.

He noticed how your window was open and grinned a bit before knocking on the frame to alert you that he was there, only noticing you sitting on your bed in your favorite Pajamas after he crawled in the window and sat his bag down. Despite it being...Gosh it was 1 in the morning. Why did he wake you up? Well he might not have woke you up, you might’ve just been tired but how was he supposed to know-

“Shota.”

He snapped his head up at you only to see you with a small smile. It melted his heart and calmed his anxieties, seeing you look that way at him.

“Come here, Omega. Tell me what’s got you bitter.” Your arms opened wide so he knew you wanted to hold him.

He found himself quickly crawling into your arms, pressing his nose against your scent gland as you created a comforting scent to help calm him. His omega let out soft purrs as he felt your hands wrap around him, softly massaging his sides and hips while rocking him slightly. He found himself out of his head for once, completely focused on you and how nice it was to be in your arms.

“Omega, please talk to me” A soft kiss was pressed to his neck, above the scent gland, making him shiver and cling to you more.

“Just...A nightmare about him again.” His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but you didn’t seem to mind.

You let out a soft hum and pressed your lips to his temple before moving one of your hands into his own. Despite the little time you both had been courting, only a few weeks now, he found out that you knew the answer to the majority of the questions you asked and often could tell what was wrong before his scent could change or a word was said.

His arms slipped around your neck as he hid once again, relaxing once you pulled him closer once again.

“Wanna talk about it, or be distracted?”

God he loved when you asked him that. You never forced him to speak about it and always gave him options. You let him think about the options for a second, but spoke before he could get too in his head again.

“Darling, You know you don-”

“Distraction. I don’t think I can talk about it without getting emotional.” He admitted and pulled away, not realizing how his hands slipped into your hair until he pulled them away to cup your cheeks. He grinned a little at how you seemed to lean into his hands as yours rested on his hips.

“Fair enough. Just know that you have every right to feel the way you do, he was your best friend.” His grin faded and his scent started to turn, but you quickly pulled him close and pecked his jaw, hands moving to his sides before your fingers started poking at him. He gasped and jerked away from you, glaring at you while puffing out his cheeks.

“Stop that,” He demanded as his hands moved to hold yours. “You know I can’t stand being tickled.”

“But it’s so cute. Hearing your omega chirp from the sudden poke.” You smirked and went to do it again but the Omega continued to wrestle your hands away from his sensitive sides until you managed to push him down on your bed. Neither of you thought about the position you were in, only that he was starting to giggle and smile again as he continued to wiggle, squirm, and fight you.

When you finally let him win, his scent had switched to a much sweeter and happy scent, something that made your Alpha boom with pride. His arms managed to wrap around your neck before he leaned up to kiss you. He hardly ever kissed first, so your eyes widened at the sudden action of the other. You kissed him back and noticed how his hands seemed to wander. Starting on your cheeks but moving to your hair, only to slowly move down your shoulders and arms as the makeout session continued.

His omega and your alpha were purring up a storm, enjoying the affection in the moment. Your hands caressed his body but the second his back lifted off of the bed, you pulled away. He whined loudly, pink cheeks and sweet scent filling your room.

“Whyd...you stop?” He asked softly, looking at you with lidded and lustful eyes. Your alpha wanted to devour him, but you held back before moving to kiss his cheek.

“I don’t want to get carried away, darling...You deserve the best and you might not be thinking clearly.” You mumbled before pressing a few more kisses to the mans’ jaw.

He let out an annoyed whine before cupping your cheeks and kissing you once again, but it was cut short when he pulled away.

“I asked for a distraction, so distract me. I promise, I’ll be okay and there is nobody else I'd want besides you.” He mumbled against your lips before pecking you again.

“You positive?” You asked, caressing your hands down his body one more time before meeting his gaze. He nodded and moved to hold your hand.

“You’re overthinking. I want you to distract me and make me feel loved. I know that you’ll make me feel loved and special, so please. Make me feel loved.” He spoke clearly, fully submitting to you but also giving you that push you needed to take the next step.

Safe to say that Aizawa slept like a rock after.

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6blackfilin9 · 4 years

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Just decided to show that I'm still alive over here

So guess it's LongShitpost Time

A very long post about The Batman's (2004) Penguin

And well, I've been thinking about making it for about a year, so.. here we are, watching me behaving like an easily surprised kid babbling about Oswald and how much I admire him and why

Actually nothin' important or highly moral here. If you still wanna read then just forget it's talk about a character from a kids show, I take this sh🐧t seriously and barely speak English

I like to take a lot of screenshots but can't use here all of them uuUUuUuuUUUUUGH

It's all about the 1st episode of 2nd season of The Batman (mostly, I also mention other my two fav episodes with Oswald)

I like it so much cuz this all just starts with "cat-mouse play" kind of cooperation which leads to "well guess you two will be chillin' in jail in pure mammalian harmony" and ends up with "oh no no no, this is your thievish girl, so you take her back"

"— You two pointy-ears make such a cute couple: his and hers."

"— Hm, made for each other."

I just crack up at this plot line so much

But well, being more serious, this episode unveils some of Oswald's personality traits quite vividly.

Going back to the first episode when he appeared, from the first sight it looked like the most of the time he acts like a mindlessly arrogant jerk who has no clue about what he’s doing, as most of kid-show villains, and tends to lose his temper fast , but if you look closer you’ll see that huge amount of his conduct lines are just a part of the games he plays

Like, he came to the Bruce's party just to take the damn list of guests, that’s the goal

But because of his behavior in public's eyes he wasn't the "strange quiet guy who's been looking around for all the time, than took the list of rich guests from butler and than left while there are robberies of rich people occurring in the city". He was "arrogant snobbish freak who thinks he's some sort of royalty (despite his family lost its place at the top of Gotham's society) so he acts around them as if they were peasants", so, for everyone it looks like the only thing he came for was attention, plus, influenced by negative emotions, people didn't notice such a potty movements as putting some paper in his jacket. I mean none even managed to notice that he stole the motherf🐧cking tray

(Well, for sure Oswald's quite snobbish about his family and it's "blue blood", can’t deny that, though he doesn’t behave that defiantly all the time and the only time when he completely loses it, cracks and explodes about this was when he became enraged hearing Alfred's words whom he took hostage in Bruce's house. That was a very bad day for him)

And come on, Oswald had patience and intelligence to figure out how to teach different predatory birds like ravens and owls, who actually tend to be wayward and even agressive time to time, to steal damn stuff from houses and how to make those f🐧cking badass high-tech umbrellas himself

So, cool man

If that episode showed his enormous arrogance, devotion to his family, resourcefulness, intelligence and hidden potential, this one shows how cunning, selfish, cold, ruthless and at some point insightful he can be

Back to the episode, it literally opens with the start of the strategy competition between Oswald and Selina

First they meet they start with a direct verbal flight for the Cat statue, which Oswald wins. So Selina, willing to get what she wants, desides to get down on a more manipulative subtle level playing love interest

So, of course Oswald gets stunned at first, I guess not every girl treats him this way every day, but he effectively uses this state to figure out his following plan and actions, and immediately starts behaving as a school boy in love.

So the man literally changed his tactics in a couple of seconds and figured out the new plan with the new “puppet” involved. Selina didn’t even notice anything thinking that she managed to hook him up easily so she now can manipulate him as she wants.

(guess Bruce was right, these two are worth each other: both prideful as heck)

So later their game enters the new fervent phase: they both play love interest in front of each other, and Oswald nailes his role just perfectly, making Selina even more convinced of his naivety so she reduces her alertness completely.

But guess he enjoyed this at some point. Like, Selina is a charming beautiful woman able to maintain a pleasant conversation with couple of dry sarcastic notes, so, I think this shade of sincerity helped him to play his part

And well, for quite huge amount of time Oswald makes that devil face with crooked grin which makes him look like a f🐧cking Satan, or just beings grumpy hardened journalist who had seen some shit which makes him look like he's about to have a severe breakdown, but here as he is around Selina in the first part of the episode he's completely calm like a damn fat cat, serious, focused and straight-faced, that's just gorgeous

He cracks up a bit ahead of time just once, when she manages to get the Bird statue

But as it goes to the showdown he doesn’t show even a hint of genuine sympathy or regret, he’s just like “well get reked Selina” and takes English leave

Well, I know it’s a kids show, Bruce saves the day and stuff, but Oz did literally put the bomb in the f🐧cking handcuffs so in case one of the two tries to put them off before the police arrive they actually f🐧cking die. I mean, that's kinda rough. But at the other hand it’s quite nobly but shortsighted of him to leave his enemies alive having a chance to interfere him later

And well, maybe Oswald isn’t good at etiquette, but he have never beaten Selina or any other lady if it came to close fight, while Batman did. Ozzie is a gentleman, shame on ya Bruce

And just to be said, the motherf🐧ucker didn’t even blink when the f🐧king half of his god damn umbrella was cut off right in front of his f🐧cking face. And oh my god, how f🐧cking firm Oswald's grip is that the hella heavy umbrella all made of f🐧cking metal didn't even swayed from the impact in the most stout place. Badass.

And just for a second, Oswald managed to dig to the bottom of that legend about the Bird and Cat statues and started putting the plan into action only after he had found all the necessary information about it (which he had to translate himself from ancient Egyptian), so that the first time he used it, it didn't turn out that he missed something and summoned some ancient shit so now the whole world is in danger (as it happens with villains in movies sometimes).

(The saddest part is that the only single thing that prevented the shit from happening was immense amount of luck. mean Bruce has all kinds of gadgets for literally any situation and knows literally everything just in case. Like, it was very useful of Bruce to study ancient Egyptian just in case someone decides to use egyptian artifacts for evil stuff. And they were so f🐧king lucky the the birds weren’t hungry and didn’t try to peck their faces off while they were climbing the god damn lighthouse which is already hella dangerous even without the maniac birds trying to knock you down)

Well, what do we have so far

Even if Oswald does have some temper issues, he's capable of making some keen psychological tricks, making strategies and keep his head above water, the only thing that actually hampers him is his own pride (like in the episode with Team Penguin. He does have some leadership qualities but he turns from leader into boss quite quickly thinking of himself only)

And, importantly, he is being at some level realistic and objective realizing that none actually takes him seriously.

He understands that for most of the people he’s just a deformed and depraved man with a funny voice, who’s also a descendant of the aristocratic family which ran out of money and lost former authority.

And he uses it for his own good. He couldn't if he didn't, otherwise he'd choose way less twisted ways of behavior

He knew what would the people at the party see in him, so he could predict what behavior would cause the result he needed.

He understood Selina wouldn’t take him as a serious opponent, seeing him as a lonely slow-witted man or whatever, being sure that she can hook him as any other in such an unpretentious way she thought she would be able to make him do all the work instead of her. His awareness made her plans all exposed and clear

But all this negligence combined with his pride does hurt him though, no doubt. There’s a whole episode about it, when he occupied Bruce’s house.

He has his own reasons to envy and hate Bruce, by the way. They both are from rich families, both intelligent, strong and talented, but Bruce is more young and handsome, plus, his family business remained successful. At this point he is much more luckier than Oswald

I mean even if it gets to falling Bruse safely falls on tent and Oswald falls on the dirty ground through hell, fire and high boiling water (I don't give a shit that it had been made for the comedy matters)

Basically, the only thing Oswald is doing is trying to restore not only the family’s honor, but also his own with help of money and growth of his authority. Maybe even to show others and himself that he’s something more than just a garbage. That he's something more than he seems to be at the first sight

But as far as I can see Oswald has never been that type of poor kid with low self esteem crying in a shower with the lights off and who then starts to hide behind the wall of arrogance as he grows up. I mean right in this episode he says that his mother had always told him that he was a handsome one, so I think his parents loved him, maybe even spoiled at some point, and gave him confidence and warmth he needed.

Though well, to be fair, children are cruel, and of course they would react to the child who lookes like a victim of a crazy geneticist's experiment in a very specific way. Some would avoid him no matter what it takes, for sure some would get used to him and communicate normally, but some would mock and bully him severely. So of course he would start to protect himself

But sadly he went in wrong direction, since his confidence became arrogance and his ways became much more twisted and radical

Even as an adult he’ve chosen a really slippery slope, though. He could've chosen a different path, but (as I guess) he couldn't overcome his sense of injustice and his resentment towards people around him, who actually neglected and loathed him. So he just sank in his negative experience and sharpened himself as the lone survivalist, which made him egotistical to the point when he doesn't care about the others and can actually stumble in some situations, being sure he can't be wrong

His actions can't be justified, but they can be explained. Oswald is really very understandable character

There is actually no moral of the post

Just me coming to conclusion that The Batman's Oswald appears to be quite deep in the first seasons

Yes, I just wasted about 5 minutes of your life, and you can't take those back

But I can leave you with a question besides frustration

Why in the bloody hell are they holding each other?!

I mean come on

Few hours ago they revealed mutual betrayal, he almost killed her, dropped her on the froor so she couldn't run away with the thing he needed, and now they hold each other flying away on a jet-umbrella

And don’t f🐧cking tell me they do this because of the fear that if one of them falls the other will too

No f🐧cking way

Just imagine flying on the f🐧cking jet-umbrella, you will cling to it so tightly that one day you will take it into your grave with yourself because you will not be able to unclench your f🐧cking fingers after a single flight, but instead of holding the motherf🐧cking umbrella they hold each other

So is it a weird joke or a very thick hint?

Who knows

#the batman 2004 #batman 2004 #the batman #screenshot #batman #comics #dc comics #dc #dc penguin #batman penguin #the penguin #oswald chesterfield cobblepot #oswald cobblepot #batman catwoman #dc catwoman #selina kyle #longpost #shitpost #the batman penguin

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hallelujah-lockandload · 4 years

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Sweet Venom

Its starting! Here is a link to the Wattpad one in case you want to read it there. I also added the 2nd chapter there too!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/243936475-sweet-venom?utm_source=web&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share_mywork

Fic: Vampire Gerard Way x Reader

Setting: High School

Warnings: Language

Chapter 1

“Just think happy thoughts” I mumbled as I held my hand to my bleeding neck.

“Happy thoughts aren’t going to stop me” the voice rang out around me “neither is your little boyfriend” Boyfriend? I pull a face thinking of Gerard as my boyfriend. If only but also… what an interesting time that would be considering he currently hates me. Let’s go back a bit and figure out why exactly I’m stuck in my favorite abandoned building being hunted by an asshole vampire, who if I had the opportunity I would love to shove a stake up their ass.

2 months ago~

I’m just your average high school senior living a relatively chill life. I’ve got semi absent parents which makes my life near fanfiction worthy, ya know. I’ve got enough freedom living in the town of Belleview that I don’t need to let my parents know everything about everything like who I’m with and where I am, as long as it sounds safe or I just lie. Being an only child makes it so easy to lie, well at least I learned to lie very well.

Anyway! It's senior year right! Gonna be the best time of my high school career right? I mean my best friend Mikey is in a few of my classes despite him being a grade below me, he’s smart okay. I’m not dumb, he’s just smart. We hang out a ton which is the best! We also work on dumb lyrics together and I’m trying to get him to sing but he refuses and says its not his thing. Which is crazy cause his voice isn’t even bad. But he always says that his brother is way better at it. Mikey likes to think his brother and I would get along great because we’ve got tons of common interests but… he hates me?

I have zero clue as to why, it’s just been like that the last few years. Gerard’s never really talked to me anyway but we at least used to hang out together when I was over and like in class. Now even when we have classes together he doesn’t even try to talk to me. I have no idea what happened! But freshman year rolled around and suddenly Gerard isn’t talking to me as much and we just lose our friendship? It's shitty. Not only cause I’m best friends with his brother and at his house a lot but… yeah actually that's it. It makes things awkward but like I guess I gotta live with that. And knowing I will never know why he stopped talking to me. Maybe it’s cause Mikey had a crush on me at some point but that went away when we realized we are way too much like siblings to each other.

I’m not really friends with Gerard’s friends. Like Frankie is cool and I mean Ray and I are friends because Ray usually has classes with me. But our friendship got better once he and Mikey became friends too, so we all hang out. I don’t really talk to Bert or the others Gerard sometimes talks to. Gerard usually just sticks to Frank, Ray and Mikey anyways.

If I’m not hanging with Mikey I usually hang out with my friends Patrick, Pete, and my other best friend Kristin that Mikey has a huge crush on. They would be so cute if they got together! But Mikey is shy and Kristin just out right refuses to make the first move, the tension is so thick you need a chainsaw to cut that. It's so frustrating.

Well that’s my friends and my situation so far but now it's time to actually start senior year and honestly this recap of my life so far as I lay in bed waiting for my alarm to go off was really nice. I hate waking up before my alarm, it's like bitch I could’ve slept in more but noooooo my body just had to betray me. I looked to the clock, honestly five minutes before my alarm is whatever so I guess it's time to get ready. Glad I took those last 10 minutes to think about my life and my friends.

Getting up for school is such a hassle, I wish summer didn’t end but like, I guess I’m excited for school too. Mostly my friends and my electives, and the fact that seniors only have to take english, gov/econ, and math. The rest are all mine.

I went through my closet and picked something cute and punk. I consider myself a punk just because I don’t care too much what people think of me and I’m going to be true to myself even if that offends people. But also my music and style choices make me look pretty punk. I picked out my fav blue plaid bottoms (skirt or pants or shorts it's your look) and a plain baseball tee that I tucked into them. Then went and put some makeup on just like I like. Once that was done it was time for hair which I decided could wait cause food is more important so I head downstairs in search for the food.

The kitchen is usually empty but my mom was there today making eggs.

“Any for me?” I asked as I went to the fridge for juice.

“Yup,” she said nodding, “Figured you should get breakfast on your last first day of high school.”

“How sentimental,” I said, giving her a side hug and mumbling a good morning. I then set the table for two seeing as Dad was already gone. We ate in peace and chatted about what I felt like school was going to be this year. If I’m being honest, it will probably be the same as always. Me and the boys (and Kristin) being nerds and having a grand ole time ignoring everyone else.

7:40 rolled around and I said bye to my mom so that I could jump in the Way’s car for a ride to school just like we have done for the past 6 years. Since they only live around the street from me, carpooling is always something we’ve done.

“You ready for the first day of the end?” I asked Mikey as I hopped into the back seat. Mikey was always shotgun since Gerard was now the driver. He got his license two years ago, so no more fun convos with Mrs. Way. Now it is just awkward looks and minimal words from the driver.

“That’s such a shitty way to say that this is your last year in highschool.” He said back, turning in his seat trying to smack me but not reaching me in the slightest.

I chuckled, “That's how it feels Mikes.”

“Yeah, well shut up.” He said. Mikey and I had a nice talk last Saturday at the Last Summer Sleepover Before School. He’s obviously feeling weird and kind of left out now that his brother and his best friends are graduating this year. Mikey is going to be without me next year, and without Gerard, for the first time in a decade. It’s honestly kind of scary. I don’t blame him for being snappy at the subject.

We rode to the school in comfortable silence with Gerard’s music playing over the speakers, it was some chill summer music. Which is a nice-ish way to start the day. Arriving at the school parking lot it really does feel different this time. Last time the three of us start together. We get out of the car and start heading towards the school when I’m suddenly grabbed from behind.

“What is up nerds?!” Patrick’s voice rings out next to my ear. We all laugh.

“Just going to hell for another year, what’s up with you?” Mikey says. Patrick moves so his arm is thrown over my shoulder instead.

“Waiting for Pete and whoever else I can find before walking into Hell.” Patrick says and I nod in agreement.

“Sounds reasonable. No one wants to go to hell alone,” I say.

“Did someone say my name earlier?” Pete says walking up to us. Gerard is just hanging with us looking around for Frank and Ray.

“Ayy! What's up dick face?” Patrick says pointing at Pete.

“Nothin much ‘Trick.” Pete responds. “Who else we waiting for before heading in?” He says looking around.

“Other than Kristin, Joe and Andy?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at him.

“Uhh yeah.” He says before starting to talk to Mikey about his summer and what classes he has. I chat with Patrick as we wait a few minutes for Ray and Frank to join us all.

“Who’s ready for another year of the fuckin’ shit show that is called school?” Frank says walking up to us with Ray and Kristin. They have been carpooling for school together since last year because they all live pretty close together. We all laugh and joke about school sucking but I know we are all excited for our electives. Since we are seniors and juniors we all have more electives now, us seniors get three while the juniors get two. It's so nice that the school actually lets us pick some fun classes to do.

After a while we realize it's 10 minutes before the bell rings and we should probably head into the building now.

“Who’s going to step in first?” Patrick asks. I’m sure people look at each other but everything feels different today. It’s time to just get this year started.

I step away from them not realizing that Gerard has too and we walk up the few steps together wordlessly before pausing in front of the doors for a moment. I breathe in deeply and make my way into the building through the giant double doors with Gerard by my side and our friends right behind us. This year is going to be a good one.

#gerard x reader #gerard way #mcr gerard #mcr fanfiction #mcr fanfic #my chemical romance #fanfic updates #Sweet vemon #vampires will never hurt you #gerard way x reader

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kikotsukino · 7 years

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Review

Eternal Love / Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms / Three Lives Three Worlds

Eternal Love (Chinese: 三生三世十里桃花; pinyin: Sān shēng sān shì shí lǐ táo huā lit. Three Lives Three Worlds, Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms) is a 2017 Chinese television series starring Yang Mi and Mark Chao. It is based on the xianxia novel of the same name (released as To the Sky Kingdom in English) by Tang Qi. The series was broadcast on Zhejiang TV and Dragon TV from January 30 to March 1, 2017.

Episodes: 58

Date: Jan 30, 2017 to Mar 1, 2017

Studio: Gcoo Entertainment, Jaywalk Studio, San Weihuo

Network: ZJTV

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Xianxia

=======================================

Plot: Since Bai Qian is the future Queen of the Fox Tribe, she was quite mischievous (at a very young age) and because of this, her mother in particular insists she go study Taoist Cultivation at Kunlun Mountain, with Master Mo Yuan. As the school only allows male students, Zhe Yan(High God) used his magic to disguise Bai Qian as a male to hide her identity, which, only a few people saw through her disguise (Mo Yuan is one of them), even knowing Bai Qian is a female, Mo Yuan(High God) accepted her as one of his disciple anyway because since the moment she stepped into the Grand hall of Kunlan Mountain, the sacred/magical artifact: Jade Purity Fan of Kunlun chose her as it master, and Mo Yuan knowing this cannot be handed over to one outside of Kunlan Mountain, he accepted her as his disciple because he sees that she’s fated to be his disciple. From there on, she was given the rank ‘Seventeenth’ and another identity known as Si Yin.

Although she is not a very hard working student, but she does show a high respect for Mo Yuan, and Mo Yuan does dotes on her, even to the point that he would subject himself to the heavenly trial in her stead for her to become High Immortal (and gets severely injured in the process), after this, she becomes quite studious.

After a devastating war, between the Ghost Tribe and the Celestial Tribe, the celestial tribe paid a heavy price when Mo Yuan (God of War) used his spirit to seal the demon lord (Qing Cang). 70000 years later, in an attempt to re-seal the demon lord who broke free, Bai Qian have succeeded, but her memories and celestial powers was sealed up by Qing Cang, where she was sent to the mortal realm and became a mortal (which was part of her heavenly trial to ascend to ‘High God’ status) with the alias of Su Su. In the mortal world, she meets Ye Hua and the two fell in love. In order to prevent the same tragedy (that happened to Sang Ji and Shao Xin) from befalling, Ye Hua attempts to fake his death while hiding Su Su from the Nine Heavens. However, Ye Hua's plans were eventually thwarted and Su Su was brought to the Nine Heavens. Su Jin, who is jealous of Ye Hua's devotion/love for Su Su, intentionally creates a series of misunderstanding between them and causes Su Su to lose her eyes. Thinking that Ye Hua has betrayed her, the devastated Su Su jumps off from the Zhu Xian Terrace, returning her back to her goddess status.

When Bai Qian body was found by Zhe Yan in the Ten Miles of Peach Wood, she was saved, however her very depressed self requested for Zhe Yan to give her the amnesia potion so she can erase her memories/forgets Ye Hua.

Three hundred years later, the two meet again as deities. Another lifetime another world, Ye Hua recognizes Bai Qian as the only woman he loves but the latter remains indifferent. Ye Hua begins to pursue Bai Qian for a second time to regain her affections, and eventually succeeds when his love is requited. From beginning to end, time continues to flow and the lines of their fates continue to cross: an entanglement of three lives and three worlds and a road of peach blossoms.

Ranking: 10/10 <- I know this is actually/probably the first time I’ve given a full mark to a series review, perhaps it’s even my first time doing up one on my end! But, I just really have to considering, I am really into/obsess with this drama on my end. It’s definitely one of the best, if not, the best I’ve seen. I cannot count how many times I have re-watched this on my end, I’m so glad I gotten into this drama because I don’t regret watching it. It has really given beyond on what I have hoped for, and more (so this is definitely my all time favorite Chinese Fantasy Romance Drama) Aside from a few characters that gets on my nerves (but what series doesn’t have those characters to add in the drama?), I do love a lot of characters in this (which I will do a list later (in this post) to show some of the chara’s I love/hate). What I am impress with is, the writer actually manage to solve everything (without any plot-holes) by the end of the story. Like, all the obstacles was removed, with no more questions left. At first, I actually had a question that was on my mind since the beginning and then when it was revealed I was like "ohhhh... so that's why...". I love how the love story was executed, and how each character did their roles well. I love Ye Hua’s love/devotion to only Bai Qian(Su Su), and no matter what happens, he loves her, and only her. There are times where I think the writer might do something stupid which adds to more drama, but in the end, it surprises me in a very good way, like when Miao Qing secretly add the love-potion into the soup that she made for Ye Hua but Ye Hua didn’t drink it because he knows there’s something in that soup, and I’m like “Yes!” and when Su Jin created that fake Su Su to seduce Ye Hua (when Ye Hua was doing his heavenly trial in the mortal world (without his memories at all)) to anger Bai Qian, he still didn’t disappoint me, because he’s only been waiting for one woman i.e. Bai Qian because he made a promise with her when she visited him when he was 11 years old that they will get marry when he’s older, his whole life, he waited just for her, and I’m like “awwww”. Seriously, Ye Hua didn’t disappoint me, and I love that about him! I also love how Ye Hua gives me a feeling that I can believe in him and that he's strong from beginning to the end... Strong in terms of character, and his power level was consistent and doesn’t disappoint, I also love how the battles are executed...(honestly Mashima can take a lesson from this -.-).

On my end, I’m a sucker for a good romance story, and Eternal Love has it all! I love how it was truly a touching love story for the main pair (Ye Hua x Bai Qian), with a lot of obstacles that comes their way (that made me cry), it was an emotional roller-coaster but what I love is where there are times I have my doubts but the writer didn't disappoint and gave me more to show me how much they only love each other. I love the scenery and the effects, omg.... where am I going to find another series like this?! I love the music too! There's alot of characters I love but there's also those I hate with a passion but glad they got what they deserved in the end..but in the overall what I love the most is, the pairing/otp I love can get a HAPPY ENDING that they deserve, because that's the most important!!! It made me feel so happy for them!!!

======

(1) Favourite Character(s):

Ye Hua (no.1 fav on Male side):

Mo Yuan:

Bai Qian (no.1 fav on female side)

A Li:

Zhe Yan:

Bai Zhen:

Di Jun:

Feng Jiu:

(2) Characters that gives me a sense of reliability (in terms of power-level) :

Ye Hua:

Mo Yuan:

Zhe Yan:

Di Jun:

(3) Other Characters that I like:

Mi Gu:

Lian Song ( Ye Hua’s third Uncle ):

Nai Nai:

Kunlan First Disciple (Die Feng) :

Kunlan 16th Disciple (Zhi Lan):

Kunlan 9th Disciple (Ling Yu) :

Kunlan 2nd Disciple:

Li Zhing:

Yan Zhi:

Di Jun Star Lord(Si Ming):

Ye Hua’s two Star Lord Tian Shu & Jia Yun:

(4) Character I HATE with a passion:

Su Jin:

(5) Other character(s) I hate/strong dislike:

Miao Qin:

Su Jin maid:

Xuan nu:

OTP: Ye Hua x Bai Qian:

Also love:

Mo Yuan selfless love for Bai Qian

Di Jun x Feng Jiu

Daddy Ye Hua

A-Li’s attachment to his mother (Bai Qian/Su Su)

Neutral (where sometimes I dislike at times):

Heavenly Lord:

======

Additional comment: Within the Celestial Tribe, only the Dragon Clan, the Pheonix Clan, and the Nine-tailed fox clan are well respected within the Celestial Tribe.

Although Ye Hua is the Crown Prince of the Celestial Tribe (Nine Heavens), I guess he’s also part/representation of the Dragon Clan(?) since his true form is a Dragon <3

And Bai Qian is the White Fox (Nine tales) ~

Bai Feng Jiu as the red fox (Nine tales)

Sigh, too bad, I didn’t get to see Zhe Yan’s true form (since he’s the Pheonix) <3

#Eternal Love #三生三世十里桃花 #three lives three worlds ten miles of peach blossoms #Three Lives Three Worlds #Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms #Ye Hua x Bai Qian #Yang Mi #Mark Chao #Chinese drama

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sunnydaysmakemesmiletoo · 7 years

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Perfect, amazing, Italian, New York, Marty

So he made up the title when I told him I had a blog.

Lemme tell you about life and love and luck and Marty; a series of not-so-unfortunate events.

Rewind to my trip to Nashville; August 19-23, Wednesday-Sunday.

Wednesday my friend and I arrive early, eat at Pancake Pantry, check in to the AirBNB, sight see, and do the bar thing. We meet a guy who is later named ‘Wednesday’ and is about 5'5’’ and in love with Sam, but super cool.

Thursday we do Biscuit Love and meet up with another friend of mine who is also there, and do dinner and more bars, the big ones like Tootsies and The Stage, ending at what would be our fav, the FGL (Florida Georgia Line) House. Wednesday hangs with us too.

Friday: enter Marty. Sam and I leave the AirBNB because of crazy heat and no AC and we luck out and get a hotel downtown at the Hyatt; we decide we don’t need a room Saturday night since we have to leave at 3am anyway (this matters later). So. We check in and get ready for another night of dinner and dancing. We do dinner and ultimately go back to FGL House, Wednesday in tow again (which was totally fine, again, he was cool). We get there and it’s so hot. We decide to go to the 2nd floor and sit at the bar and grab a beer until we decide to go up and dance on the 3rd. There is a guy in a turquoise Polo leaning against a pillar while his friend is hitting on a drunk blonde. I naturally look around while I’m sitting and my eyes keep stumbling on him, inevitably making quick eye contact and quickly turning. Some rando local is sitting next to Sam, quiet. All of a sudden, random pillar guy walks right up and starts ragging on his friend and how this drunk girl is obnoxious (which she was). His friend actually leaves with random drunk girl. I quickly learn his name is Marty. My confidence tells me he walked up to talk to my friend but to my surprise, he never takes his eyes off of me. Quiet local rando begins talking to Sam and she’s soon ready to head up stairs. Sam meets Marty, he briefs her on his friend who left with drunk girl, and she invites him up with us. The line to get upstairs is SO long. So Sam, Wednesday, Marty, and I get to the end of the line. All of a sudden, Marty had my hand and begins taking me through the line to the top, without a single person fighting it. Crazy because I’m wayyyy too shy to do something like that, let alone with a stranger to grabbed my hand, grinned, and went for it. Marty and I both use the restroom and meet up with Sam and Wednesday. Eventually, Marty’s friend comes back and Wednesday had a girl coworker who shows up also, her name being Fun Girl. We drink and dance and talk and the night is great. At some point we mention our early flight Sunday and lack of hotel for Saturday and Marty offers to let us leave our luggage in their room Saturday while we are out. We agree. After the bar, Marty, friend, Sam, and I grab food and we laugh and talk shit until it’s time to leave. We hug, cheek kiss, and part ways.

Saturday: We get up, discuss leaving our stuff in these guys room and how we will kind of have to depend on them, meanwhile, Marty and friend are having a similar conversation about being stuck with us since they will have our stuff. Wednesday is on the way back to NC. So, Sam and I head to the Hilton with our stuff and head to brunch with those two, where Fun Girl also meets us. Supposed to be great but it was just ok. We head to midtown and sit at Rebar and sit outside and have drinks in the sunshine, the 5 of us. After, we head back to the Hilton, all 5 of us, and the boys let us use their shower to rinse and get ready for the night. I’m last to shower and when I come out, Fun Girl, Sam, and Marty’s friend are in the couch and they tell me Marty is waiting for me to cuddle him in the room. Total turn off but I later learn that wasn’t actually the case. I go in the room, make some comment about that not being what I’m there for. We end up literally cuddling and nothing more (for real). His friend is actually mad that we didn’t hook up which was annoying. He said it was a waste of time. We all get ready, go to dinner at a BBQ joint on Broadway, and once again, head back to FGL. Marty’s friend is there for girls and to find his next victim; I kind of walk away to the dance floor because honestly, Marty is a dude on vacation in Nashville and I didn’t wanna damper his game. He actually thinks I’m not showing interest and tells Sam she’s showing more attention than I am. She told him she’s waiting for me to follow and he does just that. His friend goes wandering and never comes back. Fun Girl finds herself some guy who flipped her the night before and she’s out too. Sam and I are dancing and Marty is close by, letting me do my thing with my friend. Sam decides one more drink and we are out, seeing as we have to leave at 330 for the airport, it’s somewhere around 1230/1. We get back for a power nap; Sam on the couch and me with Marty. Do I need to say more 😬 All I can say is passionate and beyond. Definitely never done anything like that before but I don’t regret it for a second. And then the hard part. The entire night was amazing and easy and he was almost kind of shy and it was so dang cute to me. So 3:00am comes and it’s time to grab our stuff and go. I didn’t wanna go. We walk out the door and Marty is at the door. We head to the elevator and I happen to look back, right at Marty looking at me. Melted me. We go down the elevator, walk through the lobby, and I look up and he’s leaning over the balcony, watching me leave. I felt like I was leaving someone I hadn’t seen in years, behind. For a while, we text back and forth until he finally goes to sleep. Sunday is full of texts as I’m home and he’s at the airport getting on a normal flight that ends up getting cancelled until the following morning. Sweet and not too much texts flood my phone. Big realistically, it’s simply the guy from Nashville (mind you, his friend was like 'you’re never gonna see him again you know). He made comments about me looking back and how it made him feel.

Today is August 7, Monday, and Marty just left last night after spending the whole weekend here. When I tell you it was the best weekend, by far, I’ve ever had, I mean it. I laughed til I cried countless times and nothing had ever been so easy. I was so cynical about him even coming and figured I’d just take it for what it was; a weekend of fun; and he’d go home and that’s it. I wish I could say that all it was, was a weekend of fun, but I’d be lying. Fate would have it that a man like this would love in NY. He would tell me, after Nashville, that if consumed his thoughts and yada yada, but again, my lack of confidence wanted to call bullshit and just told myself he’s good with words. This weekend, I couldn’t believe him more. I was a queen and his smile revolved on mine. He arrived Friday, we are local Mexican, dropped our stuff at my house with a little bit of boom boom; we went to an awesome improv comedy show and then to the bars with my friends. Saturday we went to breakfast, grabbed beer, and headed to the beach where my driving became a comedy show and we ate great food at Coconuts. After, we checked into a hotel in Orlando, went to dinner, and then relaxed until we fell asleep, with more boom boom. Sunday was breakfast again, leaving the hotel, and then 4 hours at Hillstone with drinks and lunch and laughing and topped off with relaxing in the dock, dreading him having to leave. I take him to the airport, I actually go in and walk him to security, and he leaves. I actually cry after I walk away.

I wish any of this portrayed how I actually feel or how much I actually laughed or how much I actually felt like I was enough. Everything about Nashville and this weekend was perfect and call me crazy cause lord knows I know better than to set myself up for heartbreak, but I’m not ready to stop.

I don’t think I know what to do, but I know what I’m not gonna do.

Part of me wrote alllllll if this so that if it does fade away, I can look back and remember this wild ride; part of me wrote it so that if it does keep going, I can look back and remember where it started, in detail.

No better feeling than feeling enough and if nothing else, worst case scenario, he came into my life to remind me that I can feel that way again and to assure me that I am enough and great the way I am.

Best case scenario, he will stick around to remind me everyday.

Marty. Thank you.

Things to make me laugh when I look back on this; 96 in a hurricane, the clock is 40 minutes slow (!), 17 people to clean up barf at Bahama Breeze, face in the wall, bloody noses, long legs short bed, burnt butt, slow down please, Steven! Nancy!, I don’t wanna end up in a ditch in Florida…

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zeebartels · 6 years

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First & most importantly –

All my love and thanks to my family, who know how much/little to check in on me and not ask too many/too few questions – DeeDee, Tins, Curtis, Manon, Chants, Casey

Zain – for being my hospital Saviour and just my favourite Pakistani ever! Chad – for trying your best to lie to the parents when KB ask the 2 questions you weren’t allowed to answer truthfully – that is what cousins are for. KB – you are my heroin and without knowing it guided me through this – WWKBD!

Elisha + Nico – for being the best big Sister + Brother a girl could need. There are no words to express how much I love you and appreciate you. Sis! looks like I will live to meet yuh man and you are the best secret keeper.

And, The NHS for existing [you can take all the National Insurance you want from me], King’s College Hospital & my multi-disciplinary team of docs for being absolute stars and sorting me out real quick.

So… it’s been a fucking mad end of this year.

I hate this time of year, it’s never felt happy or joyous and honestly I just see the loneliness in the world in this ‘festive’ season, and now compounded by the loss of my father on Boxing Day 2013 – this time of year I’m always thinking – where is the highest mountain or deepest hidey hole I can find until this is all over. But I think this year has taken the cake!

So I had this cough since end of July, no biggie – it’s a cough.

In October, I was inexplicably breathless speed walking to the boarding gate in Amsterdam with Court.

November 19th, I had the craziest fever – trying to sleep, laying naked in my living room with my windows and sliding doors open in the middle of winter and I still felt I was in Trinidad in midday hot sun.

Chaddy boy came over the next day and seeing I couldn’t say one word without having to catch my breath – emergency doctor’s appointment became mandatory. Now I am the worst patien if I can walk and not screaming in pain – I good, dancer habits die hard. So you know shit was real at this point.

Doc Wedgwood tells me to go directly to A&E 1st thing in the morning, She means – DO NOT pass go, DO NOT collect £200 [which would have been damn handy seeing I just quit my 2nd job for the year on Halloween – that’s another story though].

Of course, I was like “listen, give me some drugs so I stop this violent coughing business and could breathe cause I have a job interview tomorrow that not only do I really want to go to but shit! I need to be able to pay rent in 2018 and there is nothing that will make me move from the best flat in the world.”

We had a bit of a back and forth and this woman was not playing but no chest infection is going to affect my plan. Cue – an interview reschedule and I head to King’s College Hospital bright and early the next morning.

Give some blood and x-ray my chest. Then @ 8:50am the lovely good looking Isiah made everything a little more concerning. He asked me to stick around and started asking me a bunch of questions and after trying to be slick, I got him to eventually admit to me that, “My Chest X-ray is concerning, and I need to go to my GP 1st thing tomorrow to discuss the results”

Fuck me! So not a straightforward chest x-ray, not a simple case of a really bad chest infection. But you know I’m on a mission, cause I can’t tell my mother I quit another job this year without having sorted another, so I have interviews to get my ass too.

Fast Forward to that afternoon, and my Doc Wedgwood left 2 voicemails and emailed me about my early morning results appointment – slight panic set in, so I called in the reinforcements for this appointment – enter Nicholai from Stage Right.

So much changed in a couple sentences that Wednesday morning.

“Your chest x-ray isn’t good. We have to do more tests to fully diagnose, but it’s 1 of 3 things –

Lung cancer [WTF?!?!], Lymphoma [this woman crazy!?!?] or Sarcoidosis [I know she crazy cause only people on House or Greys’ Anatomy have that, and those are TV shows].

Your heart rate is 160 – it’s working too hard and your lymph nodes are inflamed around 400%”

If Nico didn’t say respond – I woulda tell you – that was the most vivid dream I ever had. My Big Brother [as he introduced himself to Doc Wedgwood] asked the sensible questions. I said – how the hell do I tell my mother & sister?!!?

The Bartels Soldier surfaced [I am the child of KB – the Original Gangster] and I needed to make a plan. I started my “I’m dying” folder in my Notes.

What needs doing…

What are the next steps to diagnosis?

Who needs to or should know?

Do I change my pension beneficiaries from my Godchildren to my mother and sister [the original plan of them being gone by the time I die may not be the same]?

If it’s a cancer – do I do the fucked up chemo thing or just make sure I enjoy the rest of my time?

Sweet! I lost 10lbs in 2 weeks and I didn’t even make an effort – this could definitely be a good thing!!

Who needs access to my business if shit goes downhill from here.

Answers…

Kings’ College Chest Clinic will call me with my next appointments and instructions

Nico [he was there], Elisha [she’s my person], Chaddy [he knows something is up]. KB + the rest will know when I know what is what

Diagnosis 1st then change beneficiaries if need be

Stage 1 – we will try ah ting & KB will have to come and mind her chile in London. Late Stage 2 and beyond – I’mma just ride this out and see what happens

I have 50lbs I need to lose and hate exercising so this is a real good thing & I’m going to ride this train as much as I can [so far -20lbs + counting in the last month]

Elisha – all of it. Nico – my hospital details.

So here is what followed:

My symptoms got worse –

I can’t walk 1 flight of stairs without being winded, I have to plan all my journeys around tube stations that have escalators and leave enough time to catch my breath before I have to speak to someone. And keep those to a bare minimum

Talking too much is difficult – not a problem for me, I’m not the biggest fan of people

Eating is tiring and takes my breath away – so most things become blended, good thing I had a bunch of already made frozen soup

I have violent coughing episodes that make anyone in my vicinity think I’m dying from the plague – They just gonna have to deal with that

My ribs are sore from all the coughing, so inhaling is painful

No matter how much water I drink (we are talking 3-4 litres a day) I still wake up at least 4 times every night coughing because my throat is so dry

I started sleeping on top of towels so my bed doesn’t get soaked from my night sweats

I decided on a hospital uniform – my fav GAP grey sweatpants & large quilted super cosy GAP jumper & NikexLiberty Air Max 90’s

Another 3 blood tests – 1 of which I had to tell a very fass phlebotomist about herself and that I do not need a husband nor define myself by the presence of a man & I still don’t know my blood type

A CT Scan – Yes you really do feel like you’ve pee’d yourself in your swimsuit and that cosy warmth stays with you for a couple seconds

A result appointments that only said more tests to come – Doc Turner didn’t seem too impressed to hear about my “I’m Dying” folder and whatever other snarky comments I made

A bronchoscopy – My body was not happy about the invasion and started bucking like I was possessed and thus a punctured lung (more Grey’s Anatomyy drama), I woke up, or more specifically, regained memory whilst in mid sentence to the nurse.

A week later – I found a bunch of druggie selfies and pics of bloody liquids [I assume came from me], and videos of my canula removal – no memory performing these actions and I doubt the nurse used my phone.

A PET Scan – preceded by a semi breakdown in the waiting room, it kicked off because they go my appointment times wrong, I was real tired and it was my 2nd day of fasting for a procedure. So a very unhappy Zara came to visit shouting for my doctor and threatening to start breaking things led to a coughing episode and was completed by my pee-ing myself while I’m trying to cuss them about their time fuck up. Eventually – they made me radioactive and I went home to my bed.

Ended that day with my cancelling an interview, receiving confirmation of 2 different job offers coming to my inbox within the next couple day and a late evening voicemail from Doc Turner “It’s good news – all things considered. I’ll see you on Monday and we’ll discuss treatment and long-term”

Well thank fuck for that! At least I don’t have to inject my self with poison. I can deal with that – and I can tell KB.

Monday 18th December – Final results appointment + diagnosis =

CONGRATULATIONS!! You’re a winner!!!

You only have a rare autoimmune disease that we don’t know much about but we can give you mood altering weight gaining steroids for symptoms but not much else. We don’t know what causes it, your symptoms can disappear as quickly as they appeared and never reappear, or you could get lung damage. You’ll have to come to the hospital once a month for a full workup.

BTW – how are your eyes feeling? Tired? Warm? Cause this could affect your eyes and your brain too.

Sarcoidosis is now your long time companion.

Gee! Thanks Doc Turner – you’re my hero.

Everything was made right literally in one afternoon, an afternoon where I felt so shitty, couldn’t catch my breath, breathing was painful and my constant coughing made me want to die.

I get to call my mother and tell her – it kinda went like this

[Me -ZB] Hey KB, so I have something to tell you. I quit my job on Halloween… [KB] Oh Shit man Zara! That was 2 months ago [ZB] yeah but I just had 2 offer conversations with 2 companies & I’ll decide on one of them later today, so the job situ is in hand. [KB] mmm hmmm [ZB] Annnnddd, I was being tested for Lung Cancer, Lymphoma & Sarcoidosis, but I only have Sarcoidosis. The best of the 3. [KB] What you saying? [ZB] {Long version as above} [KB] OK, well good thing you there and not here. You are my special child. First it’s your special mouth disease [that is another story – missing some jaw bone]

Ma asked some really good questions and we lime for a lil while on the Skype.

Hardest part done – So now, we sort shit out.

The job is decided on, I’m now the Head of People for a Games Company.

New Meds –

Getting my steroids via inhaler – straight to the lungs, minimise the side effects of steroids in the blood. I know the steroids would have given me a real reason to be fat but the mood swing business, I wasn’t really in the mood for nah!

More Codeine = more constipation – so increase on the prunes and keep on with the greens.

True Story – I’ve been on some form of codeine for the last month – A couple weeks ago, I’m sitting on my toilet for 20 minutes, my legs are numb and I’m crying with frustration cause really I’m a 36 yr old constipated woman, and all I want is for this shit to no longer be a turtle and become a drowned log. I have a coughing episode and all that shit comes barrelling out! The biggest most literal F-ough (fart+cough) that ever existed!!

So now it’s the road to getting right, I have to be a bridesmaid in Court’s wedding and I’ve got 3 months to be able to breathe while I walk down her aisle.

I’m thrilled that I don’t have to tell my mother + sister that I have cancer at the same time of year we found out and lost my father to cancer.

I get to be on a special list for people with Special Diseases. I call it “exotic”.

I’ll lose the next 30lbs probably without much annoying exercise simply because I have to cut out all inflammatory foods and my body seems to be on that trajectory, once the vaporise steroids don’t get in the way.

And I get to learn more about this odd disease and I won’t be receiving a ridiculous hospital bill.

Everyone is now caught up and I wish you all a brilliant year and all the good things.

2018 is setting up to be a smash hit! I’m pretty excited.

Walk good

xoxo.

I am a patient on House + Greys’ Anatomy First & most importantly - All my love and thanks to my family, who know how much/little to check in on me and not ask too many/too few questions - DeeDee, Tins, Curtis, Manon, Chants, Casey…

#2018 #dealwithit #health #life #sarcoidosis #shithappens

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