Connor Stoll dating headcanons
1.1k words
Gender neutral reader
I'll add the read below once I'm off ~mobile~
I might reference my dating Travis post a little so if you haven't read it yet here's the link
Since Connor is the younger brother he's obviously gonna have more of that
What's the word
Crackhead energy
He also has a little more of a baby face
Which is just fucking adorable
His hair is shorter on the sides too
Like go much shorter and it's basically an undercut
They practically have their own language of inside jokes and references and stuff
The longer you're around them the more you start to pick up
Connor's so proud when you get references without having to explain
He absolutely will not date someone if Travis doesn't like them
Thankfully Travis sees how much Connor likes you and goes easy on you
Connor is a non stop bad idea machine
I hope you're ready to act as 60% of his impulse control
He likes climbing trees with you
"I will never be to old for this"
Just sitting
Existing together in the foliage
Will absolutely make "y/n and Connor sitting in a tree" jokes as an excuse to kiss you
An absolute imp of a man
Like if you didn't know better you would think he's some sort of trickster fairy boy like Puck
Constantly on the verge of pulling some bullshit
Speaking of Puck
I feel like he likes a midsummer nights dream a lot
He doesn't talk about it much though
[John Mullaney voice] that's the thing I'm SENSITIVE ABOUT
Like he’s seen all of the film adaptations
And has very strong opinions on all of them
When he found out that fairies and nature spirits were real he almost shat himself
Quotes it under his breath sometimes
He doesn't bring it up for a long time
Like he barely even talks to Travis about it
But when you've been together for a while you'll eventually find out how much he loves it
You quote it back to him sometimes
It always makes his heart happy
Loves going thrifting with you
Please look at anything from the blog shifty thrifting
Because that's the kind of weird shit you two find together
Make sure to hold his hands a lot
It helps with the whole accidental theft thing
This goes without saying but like
Prank🗣wizard🗣
The last summer before Travis started college
Connor grabs you at like 9pm and shoves you into the bathroom
You're like woah there tiger
He holds up a shopping bag and has that look on his face
"I got wind that Travis is planning to dye my hair green as an end of summer prank, but I'm beating him to it"
You're about to point out that dying Travis's hair green days before he starts college is probably not the best retaliation
Before you can he rips open a box of platinum blonde dye and hands you a pair of gloves
"He can't dye my hair green if I beat him to it"
You spend like two and a half hours getting his hair from his warm chestnutty brown to Billie Eilish neon green
You can hear the laughter and yelling from Hermes cabin past midnight when Travis pulls down his brother's hood
And Connor, without opening his eyes, whispers
"Too slow, man"
The camp fucking riots over that for the next week
Easily one of his most legendary pranks he's ever pulled
He has a lot of that "your cool wild free spirited manic pixie dream boy boyfriend from high school" energy
Expect a lot of rooftop picnics
Mostly with takeout
And lots of kissing
But who's complaining
"Take out and make out" - Connor probably
He finds stuff that makes him think of you
And he wants to give it to you
But he is the most awkward gift giver e v e r
He usually just tucks presents here and there and waits for you to find them
Like an affectionate raven
“That’s a nice necklace,”
“Yeah thanks, it’s one of my favorites”
Neither of you bring it up but you both know how much it means
So Travis is at college learning psychology
And Connor's really proud of him
But it sometimes gives him this bad feeling in the pit of his stomach when he remembers his brother has it all figured out and he doesn't
It makes him feel bad about all the goofing off he does
He brings it up to you at one point
His head is on your stomach and you're watching the stars
Your fingers move to play with his hair while you take a second to collect your thoughts
"I mean, you can't really hold yourself to that standard, Con. He has had three more years to think about this stuff,"
"I know, I feel like I'm just so far behind,"
"You're not behind, you're younger. That's not a bad thing. Plus, that youthful glow you still somehow retain makes you so good at connecting to the younger kids at camp. That's really important."
He breathes out a laugh as he realizes you're right
"I mean, just last week I saw Emma and Harley trying to short sheet Nyssa's bed!"
"Seriously? Emma and Harley?"
He laughs more at the idea of Nyssa getting short sheeted
Emma had been so shy and withdrawn since she'd come to camp
It was really hard to get he to participate in camp activities and training, and Chiron was a little worried
Something kind of clicked for Connor that night
A few years later when he would have aged out, he talked to Chiron about being a year round councilor
Chiron agreed enthusiastically, and the number of little demigods coming out of their shells faster and faster rose every year
He sometimes lets younger kids call him Connie, which never fails to make them giggle
He kissed you once in front of a group of elementary school aged kids practicing with wooden swords and you couldn't help laugh at the chorus of "EEEEEW"s that errupted
You both sometimes go eeeew! After you kiss and it never fails to make you laugh
Tldr; Connor Stoll is so sweet?????
How did he get to be such a loving boyfriend?????
We may never know
But we'll have fun on the way
You always do with him
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Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.
gremgeous the gem pillar
Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover
Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power
Standard stuff for the sith really
Except
Well
If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul?
Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really!
And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate)
This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe.
When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff
I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over"
Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate"
And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit
With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode
Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place
Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that"
Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers) back in 2017! Good times, good times.)
swbeeworm
oh this sounds like fun
gremgeous the gem pillar
Right???
swbeeworm
if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot
gremgeous the gem pillar
right???
swbeeworm
like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it
gremgeous the gem pillar
Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta
swbeeworm
but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...
gremgeous the gem pillar
Gosh yes.......
Oh its be so good..........
swbeeworm
oh mood
it would be
gremgeous the gem pillar
@Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts
When ur awake and have them to give
swbeeworm
ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache
but this is fun to think about
gremgeous the gem pillar
I had another thing thats fun to think abt too
Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes
swbeeworm
just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people
ooooooooo
gremgeous the gem pillar
YES!!! Exactly.
gremgeous the gem pillar
Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them
swbeeworm
my first instinctive responses were:
1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes
2) wii music on loop
and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT
Oh what if its both at the same time
Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway
swbeeworm
the fkin,,,, cantina music
gremgeous the gem pillar
Like how would they react when confronted w wii music
swbeeworm
is the equivalent
i would think
gremgeous the gem pillar
Do they even have the same sorts of instruments
do they even know what electronic music is
swbeeworm
just. that spawned another Thought
imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just. just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background
gremgeous the gem pillar
Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it
AODHDHSHSJD
swbeeworm
it would probably FIT
they have the same vibe
gremgeous the gem pillar
Im crying
Mits so good
swbeeworm
sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation
which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it
gremgeous the gem pillar
AJSHH i love that
Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario
And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate
swbeeworm
sfsdkfjh yES
gremgeous the gem pillar
But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd
swbeeworm
ASLDJSLKFJ
plEASE
take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop
take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy
talk about dissonance
gremgeous the gem pillar
"Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....."
[Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head]
wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting
gremgeous the gem pillar
OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE
Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it
swbeeworm
me tooooo
.....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning
gremgeous the gem pillar
Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique
swbeeworm
fair enough
gremgeous the gem pillar
Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from
"Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"
swbeeworm=
adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on" to "why the fuck is he a force ghost"
gremgeous the gem pillar
AJSGSHSGSHSA
swbeeworm
alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????
gremgeous the gem pillar
wheeze
Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these
AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES
swbeeworm
asdlkjsfkjsdfdf
gremgeous the gem pillar
CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT
swbeeworm
a fASHION STATEMENT YES
alcor: :blobsweats:
alcor: what the FUCK is a sith
alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi
gremgeous the gem pillar
WHEEZE
He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!
swbeeworm
yesssssss
gremgeous the gem pillar
AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER
ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF
swbeeworm
alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult
ljflskdajfslkdfjsd
gremgeous the gem pillar
BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI
swbeeworm
that's even better
gremgeous the gem pillar
space cult im HOWLING
swbeeworm
you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK
gremgeous the gem pillar
Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange
But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry
gremgeous the gem pillar
OH HE WOULD
swbeeworm
yESSSS
gremgeous the gem pillar
Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense"
"And its HORRIBLE"
swbeeworm
sljflskdjfsd
gremgeous the gem pillar
Just roasts him
And by extension everyone else too
swbeeworm
dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style
gremgeous the gem pillar
Akehdsjfssksgsjd
swbeeworm
just to shut him up
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKDHDJDGDJDHD
Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional
swbeeworm
snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"
gremgeous the gem pillar
And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?
swbeeworm
how much we roasting palpatine here
gremgeous the gem pillar
To a blackened crisp
swbeeworm
as it should be
gremgeous the gem pillar
Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday
swbeeworm
lskjdlsakjfdf
agreed
gremgeous the gem pillar
Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly
But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it
swbeeworm
--alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters
gremgeous the gem pillar
Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c
gremgeous the gem pillar
AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE
I LOVE IT
OH HOW I LOVE OT
ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW
Oh gosh what if he fuckin
swbeeworm
because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background
misdirection at its finest
gremgeous the gem pillar
I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood
But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor
Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin
swbeeworm
the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??
swbeeworm
alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKDJDJD
Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul"
"Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"
swbeeworm
sjlskdfjsdf
alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"
gremgeous the gem pillar
Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate-
"Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-
gremgeous the gem pillar
[UGLY LAUGHTER]
AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF
swbeeworm
ASDKAFDF
"palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator]
council: "okay that is NOT normal"
obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"
gremgeous the gem pillar
ALDHDJDHD
Wait wait no what if its
"This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain"
"I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"
swbeeworm
asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf
yes yes beautiful
gremgeous the gem pillar
Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy
Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST
Butalso
swbeeworm
the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-"
obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat]
the other humans: "....um."
gremgeous the gem pillar
"Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS
wheeze*
swbeeworm
i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE
gremgeous the gem pillar
SAME
oh its so good
Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-
swbeeworm
u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat
gremgeous the gem pillar
Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket......
Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare
Not just ANY nightmare
But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day
swbeeworm
ASDLSDFKLDJF
PLEASE
gremgeous the gem pillar
They took it upon themselves to go on rotation
They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone
One at a time
They dont even look REMOTELY human
Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen
And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao
swbeeworm
random dude: "what is that???"
alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant"
rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?"
alcor: "no they're my assistant"
nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"]
alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth]
rd: [sweats nervously]
gremgeous the gem pillar
ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI
Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away
Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it!
Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right
The council: ....
swbeeworm
rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???"
alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)"
obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"
gremgeous the gem pillar
Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft-
The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKDJDJDHDHD
JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF
swbeeworm
obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying. me, after everything i've done for this council. i am betrayed. heartbroken. never shall trust again. i am leaving until i recover"
-and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin
gremgeous the gem pillar
The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions
-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not"
-a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone
gremgeous the gem pillar
ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE
Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week
No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains
WAIT WAIT
WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE
WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS
alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP
the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him
gremgeous the gem pillar
Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there
He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck"
The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one
swbeeworm
the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS"
alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room
he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place
gremgeous the gem pillar
wheeze
Hes proud of them
swbeeworm
he IS
gremgeous the gem pillar
Its so HILARIOUS
swbeeworm
i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once
gremgeous the gem pillar
Same
Its such a joy
Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice
swbeeworm
oh no
gremgeous the gem pillar
Only the children thank him
The minders.... not so much
swbeeworm
alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad"
alcor: "...."
alcor: :blobamused:
gremgeous the gem pillar
akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj
swbeeworm
alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF
WHEEZE
"With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKSJSHDJDJF
swbeeworm
star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that"
alcor: "because i think it's funny"
kids: "it isn't"
alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"
gremgeous the gem pillar
I LOVE ALL OF THAT
LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT
swbeeworm
i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;
gremgeous the gem pillar
"Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl"
"Its not- just take it!"
Hooooh man thats so funny
Oh gosh
Alcor uses a different time/date system
Than the star wars one
swbeeworm
ooooooo yes
gremgeous the gem pillar
Nit super sure where im going with this but....
Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one
At all
Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe
Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized
But the star wars proper one
No, no i dont think he knows that one
swbeeworm
nope no chance
gremgeous the gem pillar
Omg yes
gremgeous the gem pillar
Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:
WAIT WAIT QAIT
FLASH OF INSPIRATION
ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT
swbeeworm
i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am
swbeeworm
SDFJKSDLFSJf YES
:blobamused:
gremgeous the gem pillar
Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"
swbeeworm
alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl"
anakin: "except you right?"
alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKSJSJDJJD
"My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd
swbeeworm
obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"
gremgeous the gem pillar
Haha nice
Obi-wan is taking notes
Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice
He weaseled the recipie out of the kids
swbeeworm
asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens:
1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him
2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out
swbeeworm
at this point he deserves it tbh
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD
Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious
swbeeworm
agreed
to both counts alsdjalsdk
gremgeous the gem pillar
ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD
Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan
The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake
swbeeworm
palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic"
councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor"
[points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"]
palpatine: [screams of frustration]
gremgeous the gem pillar
Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp
gremgeous the gem pillar
AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS
swbeeworm
yesss this
gremgeous the gem pillar
I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version
swbeeworm
FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit
swbeeworm
oh definitely
oh shit we've been at this for an hour
gremgeous the gem pillar
Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0
Ajdhhd so we have
Niiiight book
Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too
As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS"
Both taken from the same post lol
Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit
Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version
Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help
Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers
gremgeous the gem pillar
No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using
OH OH OH
ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG
CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck"
"Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK
Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck'
"Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you
Or conversley he makes smth up
Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that
Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity
And how stupid they all sound.
This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D
But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time .............
[Shrug] idk
Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol
I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............
OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF
Okokok
Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken
And completley different when written down
SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK
BUT HE CANT READ
Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful
But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it
And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.)
Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago
Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way
Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there
The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.
Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy) but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)
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