#its weird to think somebody has known of my art for THAT LONG LIKE HOLY HECK

[civetside]

What hlgave it away is the hair honestly oh and the fact I ate every peice of lapidot fanart up with a fork and knife so your art style even though it has changed is still familiar.

#ask #WELL OKAY THEN #its weird to think somebody has known of my art for THAT LONG LIKE HOLY HECK #thanks i GUESS

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #242

“i don’t miss you, i miss the misery.”

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Hm... three or four? Any other names your parents planned to give you? The only one I *think* I remember is Katelyn. Thank fuck I dodged that bullet. Which is the most beautiful place you know? The mountains between NC and TN, if I remember correctly. I was very young. What do you work with? I don't work period & I hate it. Have you ever hit an animal with your car? Thank Christ no. Favorite ride at the amusement park? I guess ferris wheels. Favorite beauty essential in your bathroom cabinet? I don't have a "favorite" considering I don't use any regularly. Do you have many followers on your Tumblr? Nah. Do you tan easily? I burn like toast, man. Are you expecting something in the mail? No. Do you inspire others? Idk. What do you collect? Meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merch. Do you like cats? Hell yes!!! Are you healthy? If you excuse my weight and muscle atrophy, I'm actually pretty healthy, according to a billion tests I've gotten done when trying to discover *why* I had such awful pain in my legs. Have you ever been out of state? Yeah. Can you always blame your acts on that you were just too drunk? Fuck no. Three things you try to avoid as much as possible: Well dying lmao, getting hurt, public speaking. How many times have you been overseas? Zero. Do you use to have someone in mind when shopping for underwear? Wait what the fuck- What accent do you have? I don't really have one, although I do have a southern tone with some words sometimes I suppose. I also do say things like "y'all" or "fixing to (do something)," so I use some Southern terminology. Where would you like to live? The mountains of western NC. Sigh. Do you follow fashion? No. Do you have a big butt? Ever heard of Hank Hill Ass Syndrome? I have Hank Hill Ass Syndrome. Your worst job nightmare is: Customer service EVER again. Who’s the coolest rapper in the world? Idk and idc. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? I mean yeah, I think anniversaries are worth celebration. Healthy relationships aren't always easy to maintain; to remain in love takes forgiveness, loyalty, dedication... all that. It shouldn't be hard, but it takes effort. Have you graduated? High school, anyway. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga, definitely. Do you use fake eyelashes? No. What’s your worst interior design nightmare: I dunno. Probably just being very crammed? What makeup brands do you use? I don't have any particular ones; I don't wear makeup enough. What’s the worst kind of rejection you could give someone? I genuinely feel it to be how Jason did so with me. Three and a half years in a very serious relationship, and he out of the blue breaks up with me over Facebook because my depression became "too much." Like by NOW I understand I can't shame him for wanting to be happy, but the way he did it was fucking cruel and tore me apart. Like especially when this person was your refuge from daily pain and pretty much your god and future (never make someone that, holy holy HOLY shit don't), that individual just suddenly having enough and breaking contact off like that was emotional murder. Do you have a crush on someone right now? Well yeah, but it's like... a "tamed" one? Is that an accurate word? Like I understand it just can't work right now, but it doesn't stop me from liking her. Is there anyone that many people think is hot, but you don’t? I'm sure there's someone. Do you sort and organize your clothes in some kind of way? Sorta. When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? Nervous, skittish, more awkward than usual. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? Brendon Urie is in P!atD and Patrick Stump is in Fall Out Boy. Freddie Mercury was the vocalist of Queen. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Yeah, Mom still has some up lmao. How often do you wear chapstick? Only when my lips are actually chapped. Do you walk around your house with your shoes on or do you take them off? Definitely off. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Collecting stickers, maybe? How many of the seven deadly sins have you fulfilled today? Sloth is on the daily lmao, gluttony, and lust. Should guys always kiss the girl on a first date? Not always, of course not. It depends on the comfort level, and I would ALWAYS ask first. Which band has the corniest music videos? Corniest lyrics? I don't really watch music videos, and idk about lyrics. What subject is/was hardest for you in school? Math. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora? No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? I think I'm good at both, but I probably excel in creative writing. When was the last time you were rick rolled? No clue. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? Seen, I guess a chinchilla, though that's not really "weird." If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? Eyes. When was the last time you had a ‘she-mergency’? I had to look this up to be certain what that even was lmao. Probably some time I started my period at school and had to use folded toilet paper or something for a while. Which sounds creepier: sleeping in the attic or the basement? I'd say it depends on the make-up of each and its cleanliness. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I think it was called The Amazon Trail 3? It was a damaged disc however, so it froze a lot. I think I only finished it once or twice; even knowing it would likely crash, I just liked playing it as far as I could. Have you ever tried on your mom’s wedding ring? No. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why, to name perhaps the #1. What is your opinion on fruitcake? NO. Here’s a tough one. Would you rather marry your cousin or a dog? Oh fuck off, neither. Who did you last dream about? I can't remember what it was about, but I know Mark was in it lmao. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Sometimes. My memory is atrocious. Which animal can you imitate the best? Audibly? Probably a cat. Which is harder - walking in the snow or sand? Sand. I FUCKING hate walking through sand. It's one reason I don't like the beach. Do you like sour candy? oml YES. If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? N/A Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what and how? Not anything I can remember. Are you a clumsy person? You have no idea. How about disorganized? I'm oddly split down the middle. Last male you talked to in person? My dad. Have you ever had a sunburn? Oh boy, I've gotten past that. Try sun poisoning. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? PINK! Chocolate or strawberry milk? Oh boy, chocolate. I tried strawberry as a child and absolutely loathed it beyond words known to man, and I will not be giving it a second chance. I remember it pristinely. Disgusting. What volume is the ringer on your phone? It's on vibrate. Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No. Do you often write on yourself? I never do, 'less we're talking about tattoos lol. Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? No. Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I hate the latter, so I guess frosted flakes, though I don't really remember how they taste. Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I hate them, so they obviously have enough flavor for me to notice them... What about onions? Yes. Are you a fan of Thai food? I've actually never had Thai food. How about Indian food? Same as above. Have you ever tried sushi? No. In your opinion, who would be the best president? I don't know. What was the last thing you spent more than $20 on? I have no ide- oh wait I paid for Teddy's surgery with... money I don't know from whence it came? Was it financial aid money? Idr. Do you wear actual designated ‘pajamas’ to bed? Pj pants and a tank top. When was the last time you were tempted to do something you’d later regret? Probably take a nap late in the day, ending in me being unable to sleep well at night. Thankfully, I decided against it. Have you ever had feelings for your best friend’s significant other? Yes. Well, not current best friend, but a former one. How many times did you ride in a car today? Zero. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Fuck no. What's absolutely splendid is even when/if I lose the weight I aim to, I'm going to have loose skin that literally might make me hate my body more until I without argument muster up the money to get it surgically removed. Are you in a good mood right now? I'm alright. When was the last time you had an ice cream cone? Been quite a while. Did you eat breakfast this morning? Yeah, had some cereal. Have you ever been in a cemetery at midnight? No. Do you live on your own? No. I don't even think I could tolerate living alone because of my depression and how loneliness can severely trigger it. I'm realistically probably not moving out until it'll be with an s/o. If not, who do you live with? I live with my mom, my sister's dog, and my cat and snake. How old are your siblings, if you have any? I have a lot, and I don't know the ages of all of them, only my two immediate sisters: 26 and 21. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? No. Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? No. What was the last free t-shirt you received from? School. Is there anything you are looking forward to at the moment? February 4th, baby. Tattoo gets fixed up by an artist I like far more. Him not having an open booking until then should say enough. Are you an atheist? No. Are you Asian? No. Are you fluent in another language? No. Are you in the military? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Are you an artist? Not professional, but I enjoy making art. Are you a musician? No. Are you an athlete? Oh, hunny- Do you have a favorite flower? I really like orchids. Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Great question... The trip to my therapist is about an hour, but not over. Why were you going there? For therapy. Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Probably Mom, idk. Have you ever been to a nude beach? Hell no, I wouldn't even if I was in great shape. How many websites do you have an account for? WHEW I have no idea, A LOT over all the years. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Well, WoW is an online game, so a subscription, though because I obviously don't have my own money, I'm sadly rich enough in the game to use monthly tokens. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? Not always. I try to avoid it because I just hate doing it. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Well I obviously don't know how I'd react on impulse, but I'd imagine myself locking my door and then climbing out the window. Then run like a motherfucker up the road some to a neighbor's, or hide in the nearby woods and call Mom. What’s your favorite type of pizza? Meat lovers sobs in wannabe-vegetarian. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yes, very. Who’d you last see in a tux? I don't know. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? Yeah, particularly "breakfast." I tend to put a "t" after the "k." Do you have your own computer? Yeah. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mom. Who’s the bravest person you know? Oh man, that's hard. I know a lot of brave people. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? More than anyone in the world, Mom. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? Yeah. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? By this point in time, I consider how I spoke to Jason before going to the ER multiple times absolutely terrible, and yes, it did take a very long time for me to realize just how cruel it was. Now it's fucking HARD to accept I ever said what I did. Have you ever read Shakespeare? Yes. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn’t wanna change? Nope. Do you think that anyone currently has a crush on you? I would assume Sara still does, but again, we know a relationship between us just isn't wise right now. What profession do you admire the most? The most? Man, that's hard to decide. Probably those that risk their lives for others, like firefighters, cops (yes, I am aware some abuse their power, but good cops deserve all the respect in the world), etc. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don't believe so, no. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? Bad things happen to good people and no, the universe does not care. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Well obviously.

#survey #questions #quiz #random #bored

[belizedeservesbetter]

Oklahoma! Holy Shit!

You know what, I’ll say it. This is a perfect revival. 

Oh wow.

This is definitely one of those “run don’t walk to see it” kind of shows. I mean it. I’m honestly thinking of how I’m gonna see it again even though I just got home.  Who would’a thought I’d love Oklahoma! so much?

I honestly and truly think this is a perfect revival. Daniel Fish took the text and the show and did something entirely new and entirely different with it, but it was still in theme with the show and worked. Like he didn’t just do a stripped down and thematically amped up Oklahoma! for the hell of it. He did it for a reason, he didn’t do anything so dramatically left field, like, for instance, staging Oklahoma! in space or something equally absurd, but instead made it more immersive and in tune with actual Oklahoma. He also made it incredibly relevant, or maybe Oklahoma! was relevant all along and we didn’t realize that with Hugh Jackman at the helm. 

I guess there’s some spoilers in here, but not really cause it’s Oklahoma! and it’s been around for, well, a while. 

I’m so tired of revivals that basically do the original production all over again. This is the most unpopular opinion to ever unpopular opinion but while Hello, Dolly! was a great time (Gavin Creel is an all time fav of mine), I wasn’t totally in love with it. It didn’t take a single risk. And that’s a revival at its best! And at its worst - I’m looking at you, Carousel - if it’s not a good lavish traditional revival and it doesn’t do anything with the material, then I’m not a fan. 

Oklahoma! is one of the oldest and most well known musicals. I believe I read somewhere that it’s the first ever show to fully combine a story (or book scenes, I guess), songs and dance all together. I could be wrong, but my point is that Oklahoma! has essentially become a “school” musical. Every school has done it, even the fancy arts high school I went to that prides itself on doing “good” musicals. This could have gone very wrong very fast. 

Instead, it was marvelous. 

There are so many images in this show that are going to stick with me for a long, long time. This production was filled with so many powerful moments that I’d never ever expect. 

I love what Daniel Fish has done with this show, or more like what Daniel Fish has brought out of this show that was already there. What I saw was a show about small town isolation and small town traditions that hurt everyone except the few who benefit and how dangerous and scary the male gaze can be. What I saw was a show about “us vs. them” and moral grey areas of group conviction. This was all there before Daniel Fish directed this show, but I never saw it. 

This was actually a super frightening show. I felt on edge and super tense the entire time. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way during a show before but the tension is hot in this show and everything about it feels dangerous, partly due to performances and partly due to lighting, which I’ll address separately. 

The show itself takes place at a potluck in Oklahoma and it feels very modern and very fresh and very inviting. Much like how I feel during Sleep No More, I felt like I wasn’t in New York. I was at this potluck with these people and all the audience. 

The house lights stayed on for the majority of the show, which made the moments when it was dark (and when it was dark it was really dark) more poignant. Brightness is akin to openness in this world and darkness is isolation and loneliness and things that can’t be said otherwise can be said here. Light is also used as feelings and emotion and the rich green light during “The Surrey with the Fringe” and that deep orange during “People Will Say We’re In Love” very much so showed just how in lust Laurey and Curly. Lust, not love. To be clear.

I never got the sense that Laurey was really in love with Curly, more that she was super attracted to him physically and he was the safer option in this town in Oklahoma where she’s going to have to marry somebody and she’s gonna have to be a farmer’s wife because that’s how things are and always will be there so it might as well be Curly. That’s what I got from Rebecca Naomi Jones’ phenomenal performance. Her Laurey is smart but also anxious and unhappy but sensible but also very, very scared. Her Laurey knew what her lot in life was before the show started but finally accepted it at the end of it. This is, by far, Jones’ best performance to date. 

Curly, on the other hand, is doing what he’s doing because he can and because the town knows and loves him. And it’s so easy to love Curly, because Damon Daunno is Damon Daunno. He’s fantastic. He’s got such an interesting voice too. Someone at intermission said he reminded them of a peacock and I think I agree. His Curly was at ease when he was loved but desperate when he wasn’t. 

Him and Rebecca Naomi Jones give really different performances of these two characters so it was really interesting to see that paired with Ali Stroker’s very classic very to the book performance as Ado Annie. Ali Stroker is and always will be wonderful in everything she’s in. Her performance paired really well with the others, by that I mean her very classic comedic Ado Annie was a good match for the more serious and intense moments of the show. What I’m saying is she’s great! She’s wonderful! 

Mary Testa is a force to be reckoned with. I know Amber Gray is amazing in Hadestown (which I’m looking forward to see but not looking forward for that 5am rush line) but I’m ready to hand deliver Mary Testa a Tony Award for this performance. She commands the stage. She’s the moral authority and the backbone of the show. She’s hyperaware of everything and knows exactly how to fix things. Testa gave me the impression that she’s seen this all before. She gives off the impression that this is how it’s always been and always will be. She was hilarious but intense, all at once. 

The person who really walked away with this show for me though was Patrick Vaill as Jud Fry. His was such a sensitive and quiet Jud who was also terrifying and left me pretty shaken at intermission. He spends a lot of Act One sitting in a chair in a corner looking absolutely devastated, which is gonna stick with me for a while. The look on his face was heartbreaking. And no one would look at him at all. Even his big Act One scene (which I’ll discuss later because I loved it) took place almost entirely in the dark. What Vaill does with Jud is pretty amazing because he’s created a sympathetic Jud but a Jud who is still a scary person. I felt for him but felt scared whenever he spoke. You could feel this profound pain about him that I wasn’t expecting at all. 

And Jud Fry is where Daniel Fish really makes things interesting. A lot of the show becomes about how isolated Jud is from everyone and how literally no one in the town likes him. He’s incredibly lonely and the town very purposely wants him to fail. 

But that doesn’t excuse his actions. He’s still Like That and he’s still scary and there’s a reason Laurey doesn’t feel safe around him. Fish makes you feel for Jud but he never ever excuses his actions. Likewise, Vaill makes Jud human and I get where he’s coming from but at the same time he’s let his circumstances make him a monster.

How Fish and Vaill interpreted Jud really stuck with me for a lot of reasons. The first and biggest being that I knew going in that Jud is the quote unquote villain of the show so seeing him in Act One during his song really put me in a weird headspace because I know that guy. I know a Jud and he has a name and a face I’ll never forget. Not to get too personal on a theatre review but a good friend of mine was killed by someone like Jud just last year. Someone who was isolated and often separate from any and all groups but he was only separate because he was mean and scary and loved guns. So seeing that person on stage and seeing the surrounding world really resonated with me. But I was able to distance the Jud Who Reminded Me Of A Boy I Knew In High School and Vaill’s very sensitive portrayal of Jud on stage, which led me to think more about how Jud is a bad guy, but so is Curly. 

SPOILER but two scenes that really stuck with me are the Jud and Curly scene in Act One and the ending of the show.

The scene with Jud and Curly in the smokehouse talking about how people would like Jud more if he was dead was super interestingly staged. The two sit together and the lights go completely out and for a while we just hear them talk while sitting in the dark. But then we get this close up live video of Jud’s face projected onto the screen and he’s weeping just about the entire time and I thought this was so heartbreaking to watch. The scene itself is fascinating because it’s basically Curly telling Jud to kill himself - and with this staging it’s very much Curly’s dark side coming out and Jud’s human side becoming more apparent. This is the first time in the show we ever really hear about Jud from Jud himself, so the fact that we either don’t see him at all or see a very up close and personal live video of him (I think it’s nice that the actor who plays Will Parker is holding the camera in the two camera moments in the show. It made it seem like he picked up a camera during his time in Kansas City) is very intimate. Then afterwards with his song was really terrifying but expertly acted.

Then there’s that finale. Oh wow. That will stick with me for years to come. Watching Rebecca Naomi Jones scream the lyrics to Oklahoma while covered in blood is a gut wrenching image that shook me to my core. An even more blood covered Damon Daunno howling the lyrics while stamping his boots on the floor was something else entirely. The whole kangaroo court of it all with a steely Mary Testa doing what she has to do made my stomach churn. Just that whole cast screaming the song at the end was incredible to watch. The sheer rawness of it all and how primal and angry and scared it was. It felt relevant. I hate when people say a piece of theatre is “important” but this felt very important. I felt that anger and fear. I knew that anger and fear. 

Has Oklahoma! always had such good book scenes? I feel like I haven’t seen a good book musical in ages and seeing this reminded me how good musicals can be for the person who loves plays. This whole production was completely haunting from start to finish, from the decades old material to the brand new direction. 

Oh yeah, and the chili was delicious. 

#oh geez this got reaaaallly long #damon daunno #Rebecca Naomi Jones #ali stroker #review #broadway #oklahoma! #voice

[jacobstone]

So I watched last nights episode just now... and I'll get past my dislike of unnecessary rushed romance once again but like ugh

So here's some highlights (in no particular order):

-Jenkins being sick was hilarious, poor thing is experiencing life to its foulest

-Jacob was a deer in headlights when he saw Sarina (which I think I could like the ship given time and unrushed plot)

-Cassandra pranking Ezekiel was hilarious, until it wasn't. (Even I know drugging him was too far)

-this weird grumpy hate Ezekiel has for camp? What happened to you, Jones?

-it's ok Cassandra. Ezekiel just has camp ptsd or something. Go prank Jacob.

-Ezekiel and Cassandra's 'talent show'

-I'm pretty sure that if you want someone to speak for you, you don't put them in immense pain with a splinter as you whisper them into disorientation!

-Eve and Jacob talking about Flynn

-also did Jacob get that splinter out of his hand? And can he still communicate with the trees every now and then?

-those vines grabbing him like oops gotta go the trees need me

-the dosa guy like "why don't you tell us what you know" all trying to be nonchalant

-Rockwell brags about Baird (its canon)

-Jacob literally falling in love (how can you make that adorable?)

-Eve is like channeling the romantic love she had for Flynn into sisterly love for Stone (like dang somebody is getting her love!)

-Ezekiel taught Jacob how to pick locks, and fast too. I wonder how long that took him?

-well according to Cassandra we now know Jacob knows 64 dialects (holy cow man)

-all those people in the trees...were they taken because the trees thought they could help? And what now for the ones who obviously had been there for a looooong time?

-Jacob looking like grandma willow in Pocahontas

-Sarina wrote about a secret magical society and didn't expect to get fired? Like bro, even I know if you want to keep your job you talk about stuff like that on the internet where people don't know you.

-he showed her the Library? You've known her for a day, Jacob! Stop falling head over heels for women you don't know that well! SHES A REPORTER BRO maybe she might keep your secret maybe she won't I mean YOU BARELY KNOW HER (well at least no one would believe her or dosa would shut it down if she did write about it)

-yeah they could've not had Sarina in that episode and made it more about the lits bonding and realizing that the one librarian thing is crap but oh my bad im projecting my feelings again don't mind me

-Jacob Stone: art historian, cowboy, lover of poems, hopeless romantic, speaker for the trees.

-also I never want to go to camp again because the head guy just covered up those disappearances and what's to say he won't do it again?

Okay that's all I got for now. Thoughts? Got something you like? Something you didn't like? Theories?

#the librarians #jacob stone #ezekiel jones #cassandra cillian #eve baird #flynn carsen #jenkins #sarina #jacobstone text post #live blogging #kinda

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching World Enough and Time for the first time

Hoo boy

-HOOOO BOI

-THE FINALE IS HERE (the first part of it, that is)

(Spoilers below the cut)

-Oookay snowy place... Kinda feels like the beginning of a Christmas Special (even though it’s still June...)

WHAT

-THE EPISODE BARELY STARTED??

-DOCTOR ARE YOU FAKING AGAIN

-WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SLEEVE, WHAT CAUSED IT TO BE SO TORN UP

shit, no, really, what happened

NOOOOOOO WHAT

-He’s screaming because he’s turning into Trump

-...sorry.

-And the theme song comes on, without ANY explanation at ALL of what in the HECK just happened.

S t e v e n  mofo M o f f a t

-The name of doom.

? giant spaceship??

W H A T

-Holy shit BBC your CGI really improved

“Hello, I’m Doctor Who.”

“LIES” (from “Flatline”, Series 8)

-”My plucky assistants, thing 1 and... the other one.”

I’m sorry

-No seriously what are you doing Missy

Mary. Frickin. Poppins.

-”But think of the age gap!”

JELLY BABIES

-I’m 110% sure those are jelly babies and if not I will be pissed

Their faces say everything.

-”Well. I am the mysterious adventurer in all of time and space known only as ‘Doctor Who. And these are my... Disposals. Exposition and- comic relief.”

“Iz no an esersise, iz a tepht.” “Are you eating?” “No.”

...Bill’s face. This whole thing. I just can’t.

“ALlllso it’s his real name”

“His WOT”

-Okay so Missy’s probs joking here but what if his name was actually Doctor Who, what if his name was the title of the damn show and it was right in front of us and we never noticed lmao

-”Are you a human?!”  “Don’t be a bitch.”  SHE SAID THE B WORD

-”My name is Doctor Who.”  “It’s not, is it?”  “I like it.”

S H I T

WHATTHEFUCK

-”She’s a murderer!”  “Enjoying your bacon sandwich?”  “Why?”  “Because it had a mummy and a daddy. Go tell a pig about your moral high ground.”

Bill: ‘...stop.’

“ah HAHAw na forget it”

-”Nardole agreed.”  “No I didn’t.”  “He did in my head which is good enough for me.”

“Are you having an emotion?”

“Look at that face, he’s having an emotion!”

“Can I take a selfie with you?”

Don’t know what they’re eating but I’m hungry and that looks tasty

-”She was my man-crush.”  “I’m sorry?”  “Yeah. I think she was a man by then. I’m fairly sure that I was too, it’s a long time ago.”

”We’re the most civilized civilization in the universe. Billions of years beyond your petty human obsessions with gender and associated stereotypes.” “But you still call yourselves Time Lords.” “......Yeah. Shut up.”

-The food looks like salad now

-that was sooo cute aaaa

-”Every star in the universe. We were going to see them all.”

-”But he was too busy burning them.”

“Promise you won’t get me killed.”

Well look at how well that went

I don’t like their synthesized voices at all.

-It reminds me a bit of this.

“Assumption.” “Deduction.” “Hope.” “Faith.” “Idiot.” “Always.”

I can’t believe Missy copied Hagrid

-”Why do you care, Smurf?”

-”If somebody kills you and it’s not me, we’ll both be disappointed.”

-”It’s a matter of time.”

OOOHHHH

-I don’t know shit, but I think I heard that time slows down at the event horizon of a black hole. As in, it seems to slow down to an outside observer.

-And I’m still too stupid to actually connect that information to the episode itself.

-Meanwhile, Bill seems... okay for now.

What the heck.

-The man is disturbing but not disturbing enough to make me go full caps lock and definitely not the most disturbing thing I’ve seen.

WHAT’S WITH THE THING ON HER CHEST

So much fluff

Oh...

-”Pain... Pain... Pain...”

-Pain pain pain pain PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN--

Sorry but CONVERSION THEATRE?!

-Bill geT THE HELL OUTTA TEHRE

-WHAT IF THEY’RE ACTUALLY PEOPLE SCREAMING IN PAIN BUT THEY LOST THEIR ABILITY TO SPEAK BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN CONVERTED INTO WALKING TIN CANS AND THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN EXPRESS WHAT THEY’RE FEELING IS REPEATEDLY SAYING “PAIN” IN MONOTONOUS VOICES

Please don’t be a jumpscare, please don’t be a jumpscare...

Okay, so the room with people in beds said IN, Bill’s room said CONVERSION THEATRE (I still don’t get why they call it a theatre/theater; who’s the audience? What’ so theatric about it?) and this room says OUT.

-Which MIGHT mean that the first one is where the humans are kept in custody before conversion, much like a normal hosptal wing (except for the conversion part) then humans are taken to the “Theatre” to have devices implanted on them and whatnot. THEN when they’re successfully converted or about to be so, they’re taken to the OUT room to finish the process... But then what?

Hey they’re using buttons to express their emotions

-World Enough And Time But The Cybermen Talk With Emoji Keypads

-But what if that guy couldn’t find that button at first so he was like “Stay-- (no that’s not it)” “Yes-- (not that)” “Step-- (no no)” “Pain-- (ah HA)”

AAAAGH I got scared

-I got a scare

OH SHIT

-Trope that scares me the most: Hiding character about to be discovered.

-The guy doesn’t tattle on her though

-They just... muted the device... That guy’s still in pain...

Holy fuck they’re all muted

-I want to say some sophisticated thing about governments pretending there are no complaints by simply muting them.. or something like that

-Bill you don’t have to turn the volume all the way up and risk being discovered

-I feel weird here, because “Kill me” is something I say a lot but there’s a HUGE difference between “Hahahahahaha what am I doing fucking kill me, stop my sinful hands hahaha the government should come to my house and end me look at all this trash i’m drawing ahahahaha this is true art fucking kill me pfftahahahahaha” and "K̺̯̭̻̘̟̎͂͛i̙̖̳͍̮̭̣̍́́l͒͏̮͎̲͖͇͖ͅl̤̜͙͉̘͋̆ͬ̂ͤ͘.̤ͤ̌ͬ͊ͤ͑ͅ.̝̞͕̖̒̑̈̃̔.͓͋̎ͦ̔ͮ̚ ̞͎̻̥̦͕̌ͬ͗ͫ͆̅̚m̳̱̬̞͍͓ͤ̿͂̊̃e̅̀.͉̫̪̰̖͢.̣͍̣̲͉.̡̙͖̥͎̯̜ͅ ̋ͥ͜k̹̳̞̀ȋ̬̖̭͜l̎̿ͬͮ͗͑̀̕l.̍̎.̟͎͇͉̪̳ͅ.̲̼̠ͤͫ̑̆̐̈͘ ̪̣͍͙͕͉̔̈̄́ͤͪ͝m̡̗͔̞̟̲̔̿ͩ̌̽ĕ͚̦̩̥̪̍ͅ.̞̩̫͖̗ͫ̓ͨ̌ͩͥ̽.̴̥͓̦̺̌̇ͬ̈́͂̂͒.͔͕̫̼̾͞ “

-”This way Mr Razor, look sharp!”  Was that pun intended

Floor 1056. huh.

-That’s a whole goddamn city in there

WHAT THE FUCK

-NOPE

-THAT’S A NOPE FROM ME, A NOPE FROM YOU, A NOPE FROM ALL OF US, I AIN’T RHYMING SHIT WITH YOU!

-(...what.)

-”It will help with the horror to come.”  “What horror?”  “Mainly the tea.”

BEHIND YOU BILL

-”Drink it while it is very hot. The pain will disguise the taste.”

-me cooking be like

-Wait, if she’s been here for weeks then the Doctor and the rest of them have been up there all this time?!

-So if the ship’s top is ‘fast’ and bottom is ‘slow’ then the ‘top’ must be closer to the event horizon.

-That explains the date number thing up there.

-So Bill was in here for weeks, maybe months, but only a short time passed up top. Okay.

Thanks Doc, I still kinda needed that cleared up

-”If you’re standing in your garden, your head is travelling faster through time than your feet.”  WHAT

-Okay, I didn’t know THAT, that’s actually new.

-Although I’m not sure if I should go flaunting this new knowledge willy-nilly, seeing as Doctor Who is generally not considered a credible source of scientific facts.

Awwww;; Ahahahahahaha

-”He’s been raising that eyebrow for a week.”  That really puts things into perspective.

-What’s with that woman seriously

-”Don’t change the channel.”  “A week, raising his eyebrow... why would I change?”

I find it kind of cute and sad at the same time that Bill has been watching the Doctor in excruciatingly slow motion for months and hasn’t gotten tired of it

-...Why did the window affect the patients?

“How many more years?”

-wait

-YEARS?!?!

-HOLY SHIT

-...Holy shit...

Just think of seeing that guy’s involuntary backflip for weeks on end

“Wait for me.”

There’s people down here?!!

-Are you saying that city was built by the people who came down here to fix the engine and those people’s descendants

-”Soon we will all be upgraded like them.”

-UPGRADED

-UPGRADED

*TRIGGERED*

dafuq

-Reminds me of the time I pulled a winter cap over my face just because I could.

-And then I put glasses on top.

-It didn’t help. I couldn’t see through the yarn as easily as I’d hoped.

-”That was good.”  “Venusian Akido.”  “I thought you needed four arms for Venusian?”  “I’ve got hidden talents as well as hidden arms.”

Okay, I’m REALLY hungry.

-”When you hug me it hurts my heart.”  “Aw, sweet.”  “No, your chest unit. It digs right in.”

Just brilliant.

He’s wearinf a fucking mask I can’t;;asdaf

JESUS CHRTISY

WHAT THE TABLEFLIPFLAPPING FUCK

-THE GUY WAS A BACKSTABBER

-YOU BITCH

Oh yeah? If it’s so good then why don’t you go upgrade yourselves alrready?

“This won’t stop you feeling pain, but it will stop you caring about it.”

oh yeah that guy totally doesn’t care about his pain

-In fact he looks dead inside

-That actor might as well have been thinking ‘shit, my eye hole slipped and now I can’t see properly.’

-”It fits over your head.”  Yeah I can tell that mister but I don’t want you or that ridiculous pipe thing you got there drilling willy-nilly into my brain

-”But I’m the computer guy, that’s always me.”  “Sorry, she’s cleverer.”  “She’s more evil.”  “Same thing.”

Uh oh

-”Hello, ordinary person. Please maintain a minimum separation of three feet.”

-”I’m really not trying to kill anyone today, but it would be tremendously helpful if your major arteries were out of reach.”

-Annnnnnd now I’m veeeeery suspicious of the scraggly man’s identity as well.

-Like, even more so than before.

same

-“There’s always a scary thing with you isn’t there?”  “Are you only getting that now?”  *Empty Child flashbacks* *Silence in the Library flashbacks* *fucking BLINK FLASHBACKS*  ...yeah I see what you mean.

And here we see another example of BBC’s Photoshop attempts, here used to tamper with stock footage of Earth to create an alien version of it.

-(I know it’s not Photoshop it was a joke)

-Wait.

-IT’S MONDAS ISN’T IT

-Yes I read up on the Doctor Who wiki before and apparently Mondas was a very Earth-like planet, only its people opted to ‘upgrade’ themselves for survival at some point in their history

-Remember kids, if you don’t have time to binge on Classic Who, just read up some long articles in the TARDIS wiki.

WHY IS THAT GUY’S HEAD SO SMALL AND THAT DOOR JUST OPENED BY ITSELF

I have a bad feeling about this

-Oh yes a VERY bad feeling

yep called it (Not really. It was in the trailer.)

-Wow Missy is so salty today

-Not sure if ‘salty’ is the right word... Let’s say ‘verbally homicidal’

-GOD THE SUSPENSE WITH THIS DOUBLE POV’S

-Like, holy fuck, that’s some awesome screenwriting there. Switching between two scenes while maintaining the suspense in both, without making it too fast/all over the place or too long.

-I’m getting chills.

wHAT

-Sheesh, the way his voice changes at the end of that sentence... Jesus.

same

-I’M SCREAMING HOLY FUCK OVER AND OVER AGAIN

-I THOUGHT MISSY WAS GONNA REGENERATE INTO HIM (which is kinda weird) OR MAYBE HE’D BE APPEARING IN A FLASHBACK OR SOMETHING BUT NOOOOO THAT ONE FISHY GUY WAS THE MASTER ALL ALONG

-MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

HOLY FUCK

Is it just me or does the Doctor look really scared here

-Maybe he thought he got rid of them for good hundreds of years ago, and now they’ve come back and they took his friend and it’s all just...?

shit

-SHIT

-NO BILL

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-WE’VE LOST OUT GAY DAUGHTER

I CAN’T

-BELIEVE

-THIS

-IS

-HAPPENING

-THE FOUR BEATS!! WTF!!

no.

oh no.

oh shit.

oh hell no.

shit

-THE FOUR DRUM BEATS.

-AFTER ALL THAT TIME, AFTER 8 YEARS, THEY’VE COME BACK TO HAUNT US AGAIN.

-THAT WAS BACK IN THE RTD ERA OH MY GOD

*SCREAMING*

SDHHSJKSHJKASKJERIHIERHIRGHJSDHJGAGSLDJFAH

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...

-FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

HOLY FUCK??

“I did my duty for Queen and country.”

“I waited for you.”

-...

-*cue end credits*

-HOLy sHIT

-THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN

-WHAT AN WAY TO END THAT EPISODE

-MOFFAT

-I’M SCREAMING

-I SCREAMED SO LOUD I ALMOST DEAFENED MYSELF

-MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!

#doctor who #dw #dw series 10 #world enough and time #whovian #dw 10x11 #reaction #screenshots #review #long post #twelfth doctor #peter capaldi #mondasian cybermen #cybermen #missy #michelle gomez #the master #john simm #simm!master #bill potts #pearl mackie #nardole #matt lucas #dw spoilers #spoiler #spoilers #spoiler alert #series 10 finale #mondas cybermen #MOFFAAAT

[latestnews2018-blog]

A Conversation With My Friend Who Really Wants To Have Sex With Mr. Incredible

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/a-conversation-with-my-friend-who-really-wants-to-have-sex-with-mr-incredible/

A Conversation With My Friend Who Really Wants To Have Sex With Mr. Incredible

Earlier this week, a review by The New Yorker’s Anthony Lane of the Pixar film “Incredibles 2” caught the attention of the internet.

The reason was a paragraph near the end of the article that painted a theoretical picture of two parents taking their children to watch the film only to find the mother comparing Ms. Incredible to Anastasia from “Fifty Shades of Grey” and the father catapulting his popcorn in a state of throbbing cinematic appreciation.

Holy crap, WHAT is with The New Yorker’s review of The Incredibles 2? Gross. pic.twitter.com/2PCVW4BQga

— Amanda Wong (@amandawtwong) June 19, 2018

I, on the other hand, could only think of an old friend of mine, Will Wiesenfeld, who, for as long as I can remember, has badly wanted to have sex with Mr. Incredible, i.e. Bob Parr. This is not a joke. Will really, really loves him some Bob Parr.

i want Bob Parr to fuck me up and down the goddamn block

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) May 29, 2018

thinking about bob fuckin parr

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) June 12, 2018

i don’t think u understand how hot i think the dad from The Incredibles is. Bob Parr. that’s my dude

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) May 7, 2018

like honestly Bob Parr is a dreamboat

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) February 15, 2018

Wiesenfeld is a professional electronic musician mostly known by his stage name, Baths. He’s very good; Pitchfork loves him. My editor, Tommy Craggs, did not care about any of that. He wanted to know more about my friend who’d like to boink an animated superhero dad. He asked me to talk to Will. So I did. It turns out that Wiesenfeld’s desire to sleep with the man with perhaps the largest chest-to-hip ratio in the cartoon universe is actually just one part of a larger story about coming to terms with his sexuality through cartoons as a teenager ― and becoming something of a connoisseur of the form as an adult.

Here is our conversation, edited a bit for clarity.  

Will Wiesenfeld: Hey dude!

HuffPost: What’s up, dog?

Not much. How’s it going?

It’s chilling. I can’t believe I’m interviewing you about this.

So you want to fuck Bob Parr. When did that start? When did you first get into Bob Parr?

How long ago did “The Incredibles” come out?

I must have been 15. I wasn’t out. I would have just found out that I was gay, so probably not yet. I don’t know.

When did cartoons become a thing for you in terms of your own sexuality

That was right away. Basically I found out I was gay because of porn, straight-up porn. I just realized that was going on and I had the realization, and I think through looking for that stuff and then always being a fan of Japanese stuff, I came across porny art and muscular art of characters, and so it started off not [with] American cartoons, but Japanese stuff and people’s original characters and buff men. And that would have been a year after I found out I was gay, so probably 16.

this mode of bob parr could get it ✔️ https://t.co/DLno1tbMBH

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) January 16, 2016

Why do you think you had that attraction to anime or cartoon characters?

I can tell you almost exactly. Everything about porn ― at least what I was finding ― was intense and kind of aggressive. There’s nothing really loving about it. It was just sex, obviously, and very intense and very upfront.

And almost immediately the first images I saw of this sort of stuff ― of drawn characters and erotic illustrations and stuff ― it was all softer, even though it was really muscular men. A lot of it was really domestic. There were comics that I found that were just couples at home, or illustrations of dudes doing it in an apartment, outside of a pornographic context, just because they were dating or whatever.

And all of that was brand new to me. Just the idea of gayness as normalcy. That was the thing that allowed me to come out after that point. I knew I was gay before finding out about this stuff, but then I was comfortable coming out realizing that there was a route to gayness and queerness that was chill.

And now is it more just a funny thing than anything else?

It’s not actually much of a funny thing. There are funny things that come up. There are illustrations that are insane, where it’s like, “Oh, my God, look at this.” But it’s a super deep hobby of mine. I collect art. I have a running collection of manga in my house and a bunch of illustrations. I’ve paid for commissions of characters and stuff like that. It’s very real and it’s very deep. And I’m into it in a way that’s well beyond a joke thing, you know? I’m truly down with it.

You’ve done a Bob Parr illustration, I know. Have you done other ones besides that?

Yeah, or I paid for a commission of it.

who can i commission some tastefully hot mr incredible art from . mr bob parr

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) May 15, 2018

I commissioned this other character from this series called “Legend of Korra,” which is also an American cartoon. His name is Bolin, and I’m super, super into him. I’ve paid for commissions of him in the past. I actually have one that’s pending right now that somebody is doing [laughs].

Twitter/Tumblr: yoPeppy

Here’s the illustration Will got commissioned for himself.

With Bob Parr, what is it about him that attracts you to him?  

It’s a huge mix of things. Physically, he’s exactly my type. Big 40-, 50-something-year-old dudes who are muscular but kind of friendly and approachable ― that’s my shit. So that, combined with all the stuff in “The Incredibles” ― him being a good dad, meaning that it translates to him being a responsible person and, I don’t know, safe? Those things, they’re great. And they are a huge turn-on. And he’s straight, obviously, but you can find comics and illustrations and fan art that people have done that skew it into a fun gay thing, and there’s plenty of it with Mr. Incredible.

I think people would probably think of an attraction to a cartoon character as mostly a physical thing. It’s interesting that what he’s like as a father figure and person wraps up into it.  

I think that’s a thing with a lot of the characters that I’m really into. Bolin also is the same way. He’s much younger, but he’s carefree and positive and all that stuff. I don’t have a thing for villains usually, sometimes I do, but it’s usually a physical thing. But I’ll obsess over a character if they’re almost role model-y. I’m realizing it now in my brain that a lot of my favorite characters are the role model of the series that they’re a part of, or the most rounded and the most mature. ’Cause I think that it’s this weird motivator for myself to try and see myself in that.

“@DisneyPixar: Home sweet, crazy home. pic.twitter.com/LHOOqUXDCo”

Bob Parr could get it god damn 😎😎😎

— ● Will Wiesenfeld ● (@BATHSmusic) February 27, 2015

What do you mean? You want to become that kind of person as you age, or you hope to be that kind of person right now?

Yeah, exactly, something like that. Just inspiration to live honestly, the way that I’m doing, and stay positive. And a big part of it is keeping in shape, ’cause all of these stupid cartoons are buff as hell [laughs]. Just looking at it for too long, it sort of works its way into your brain to try and keep doing that.

So you’re saying that by looking at buff dad cartoon characters, you yourself go, “I gotta hit the gym as well” or something?

Absolutely, it’s fair to put it like that.

What are some of the other top characters for you?

Looking around my room, there’s this character Shiro, who’s one of the main characters from the new “Voltron” series on Netflix. He’s literally the dad of the group, and he’s buff and mild-mannered and he’s just super hot. And then there’s this character Daichi, from this show “Haikyuu.” It’s a whole series about volleyball. It’s a sports anime and it’s way, way, way better than it should be. It’s the most exciting, most intense series I’ve watched in forever. He’s the captain of the volleyball team that the show follows. He’s not the lead character, but he’s the one that’s in charge of that team.

A big note: It’s problematic because his character is 17, and in the first season of that show “Legend of Korra,” that character that I mentioned, Bolin, is 16, and I had no idea watching it. I thought he was 24 or 25. When I found out way later on that in the first season he’s 16 years old, I felt so gross.

Then, yeah, later on in the series I think he’s much older. He ages as the show progresses. I’m attracted to Daichi and Bolin because they act older and more mature than their peers on top of the fact that they’re super buff. All these hundreds of artists out there making fan art of them feel the same way.

There exists this whole deep fandom in Japan of every single one of these characters. There’s this thing called doujin, or doujinshi, and it’s like “fan comic,” and it usually translates to being porny most of the time. But there are doujin that are not and are just narratives that people make up.

But they’re fan comics, and there’s a huge market for it, and there’s conventions. The same way you have, I guess, Comic-Con or Anime Expo in the States. There’s huge, huge conventions in Japan where all these different artists sell all this stuff and the market for it is much, much bigger and much more widespread. And so, when I found out about this show “Haikyuu,” I was like, is there any art of this dude that I’m into? And it was insane how much of it there was. There’s so much, and most of it is not actually sexual. It’ll just be a romance novel or a romance movie or something like that. The plot will just be them being attracted to each other and not knowing what to do with it and at times navigating high school and being on a volleyball team at the same time ― that sort of shit. There are comics that are just full plots of that without sex being involved.

Does the character have to be human or can it also be an animal or something like that for you to be attracted to it?

I think I’m cool with anthropomorphic stuff. I’m basically a fan of buffness, so it’s usually, if I see something where the character is buff and they’re also an animal, I’m like, that’s cool. I can get into it or whatever. But I don’t seek it out, and I kind of don’t obsess over it the way that I typically do with human characters. But lately there is ― you know “Zelda”? The new “Zelda” game?

There is a bird-man in that game that is all of these things that I’m talking about with these mentor characters that I get really into. He’s this big, buff bird that helps you on your adventures, and he’s like a good dad and is fair and relaxed, and it hits all the benchmarks for me. And, for whatever reason, they gave him really beautiful eyes in the game. They give them all this eye makeup and intense ― I don’t know how to describe it. You should just Google the word “Kass,” K-A-S-S, in Zelda.

Yeah, and “Zelda,” and you’ll just see this handsome ―

It makes sense, you know what I mean? Me talking about all the other things I just talked about ― it’s like, “Oh, yeah, this makes sense.”

I feel bad for asking you earlier if it’s just a funny thing, when now that I think about it, it’s obviously something more serious.

Don’t even worry about it. I’ve been involved in the hobby of it for so long that I don’t think there’s any question that somebody could pose that could offend me.  

What did you think of “Incredibles 2”? I forgot to ask.

I liked it a lot. I think Bob Parr was hotter than ever, and I was very, very down with that. But as an actual movie, I think it suffered from pacing issues.

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[extroversive-introvert]

Addressing (and Aggressively Assaulting) Sacred vs Secular Again

PREFACE

Last month my youth ministry hosted its annual conference (my final one, perhaps ever, thanks to my migration) and on the second night had the supposedly “controversial” decision to host an afterparty with a DJ, playing EDM tunes you’d typically expect to hear at a nightclub. A lot of people have come up to me on separate occasions over the course of December and January asking for my thoughts on it. I decided to pen a 3,500+ word collegiate essay so I can redirect future enquirers to one place.

The Radio Game

I once played a “Christian or secular” game among friends in my religious circles, where a short excerpt of music is played and someone has to guess whether it’s secular or Christian music. The most accurate guesser wins. This is surprisingly easy for me. Especially radio stations. It’s easy to spot a Christian station far before any Christianese is said to confirm it.

At gut level, I find something very disingenuous about so-called Christian music. Country, pop, rock all have distinguishable sheens; the Christian variation is blander. The vocals are hot in the mix because the words are important. Much like country music, the compression style and Nashville tones are there but the delivery lacks the humanness and soul country has. You might get what I mean by fake emotion. There’s something more believable about a whispery promiscuous voice promoting drugs and sex on CHR top 40 stations over the voice that copies the style while putting Jesus lyrics to it. It’s not even the style of lyric that bothers me, but that I  don’t believe the singer is feeling the emotions that would lead to that kind of singing. It’s the same weird uncomfortable feeling when somebody belts a really loud, obviously fake laugh.

Marketing Zombies

Example, I grew up with pop punk bands like blink-182, Green Day, Linkin Park, and My Chemical Romance. The problem with Christianising is that emo music isn’t simply reducible to certain grunge tones and heavy power chords. There are emotions intrinsic to the genre that make the soul of the music. You can’t remove anger from the screaming and have it still be screamo. You can’t remove the bass-heavy pulsing and alternating tremolo tones from EDM trance music. You can’t take away the mixolydian chords and spontaneous comps and  raw organic atonalism from jazz. It’s the soul of that music, good or evil is immaterial; it’s simply the soul. So when you remove the soul from music and transplant the body parts (chord progression, instrumentation, dress, lights, look, basically everything but the soul) and parade it with more “positive, edifying” lyrics masquerading as Christian music, what you get is a musical zombie. It looks human, walks, talks, resembles humans, but isn’t. It’s a zombie without a soul, using a human body for its purposes.

This is my primary indicator every time I play the “Christian or secular” music game. I gaze into its eyes to see if it has a soul or not. It takes me no more than a few seconds. The industry is and has been broken for a long time. We call it “Christian contemporary”, but it’s not based on Christianity, but more so in marketing. Which I’ve also studied in depth.

When the foundation of the market and music you are trying to make is pretense, it’s very hard to be honest and successful. There is an unspoken assumption from most of us that we really want the people on the stage or on the book or album cover or on the radio need to have it together more than we do. Because we are messed up, we need them to be a sort of saviour and hope for us. The result of this is that it’s often the people who are really good at pretending that they have it all together that make it to the stage and the book or album cover and the radio stations. The interesting thing about massive Christian music tours is that most stages are in mainstream venues: clubs, theatres, etc...

But to me, the sad part is the empty bar each night. Even though these shows were all sold out, I would imagine that the bartenders at all those clubs were like “oh man, Christian night… that means no tips for me.” I know some promoters would buy out the bar so there wouldn’t be any liquor sales at all. I’m not saying that I wished that everybody was getting hammered at the show… but for crying out loud, buy a beer. Or heck, if you don’t drink alcohol, buy a Coke.

But here’s what’s weird about this situation. I bet you if you took all of those Christians that came to the shows and split them up and had them go to “secular” shows, A LOT of them would have bought a drink or two. It’s the fact that there is this assumption among all of the Christians there that having a drink at a Christian event is sort of a taboo thing to do. Why is this?

It’s certainly not because of the Bible. Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. And not just any wine. The kind of wine that made people think they saved the very best wine until the end. And you preachers who pervert the holy writ of Scripture with your own extremely biased interpretations, here’s a newsflash, people at parties don’t think the best wine is  your Sunday morning “non-alcoholic Ribena/grape juice”. Religious people didn’t call Jesus “a glutton and a drunkard” because He ate communion loafers and grape juice all the time.

And here’s the thing. I drink socially. Shocker. I don’t even drink very much. I’ve never been drunk in my life, and I’m not advocating that people should just be foolish with their drinking or eating habits. But for the love of my sanity, this whole spiritualising of alcohol being an inherently bad thing is bloody annoying. If I didn’t know Jesus, I’d have probably dropped an f-bomb where “bloody” would be. It’s mostly just a Western thing, by the way (as well as places where America has exported these ideas with our missionaries). If you go most other places in the world, or anywhere else in history for that matter, Christians drink alcohol. Ever heard of this thing called Communion? You know, the bread and the wine? That’s a pretty big deal in Christianity. Jesus didn’t pour out a cup of grape juice.

So Christians that would normally buy a beer don’t because they are in the Christian concert. Christian bands that smoke (more than you think, if not most, do) have to duck into back alleys as to not offend anybody. I personally think smoking is stupid. But I think it’s stupid because it smells bad and it kills you. But I don’t use my religion as a moral high horse self-righteously judge other people about it.

Rather than just being honest about where we are at and what we all struggle with though, we look to our gatekeepers to believe and live morally vicariously for us. That way we feel better about being part of the system of good, and the moral brokenness in our own lives is repressed like the fear of a child with her security blanket that is never faced down and eviscerated, which eventually develops unchecked into a more demonic stronghold in later years of adulthood. This sort of two-faced dishonesty is at the heart of much of what I and so many others find so repulsive about much of modern Christendom.

Actually, you know what the alcohol nonsense is based on? MONEY.

The traditionalists in the Baby Boomer pioneer generation are the people that give the most money to Christian organisations like religious media outlets. And these people grew up in a time where alcohol was seen as a taboo social reality. Just like dancing or playing cards or what they used to call “mixed bathing” (swimming). It’s based in an era of post-World War II prohibition. These are old American values we’re dealing with, not Christian values. It’s the old American people that have money that the Christian organisations are paranoid of offending. So they create an environment where drinking is seen as pure malice and wickedness. If you want to start a televangelist ministry or apostolic network, you can’t have it known to your donours that your staff likes to go out for drinks at the bar after work. So you implement rules for them. Do you know how common this is? Do you see the irony of this? If you had been a disciple of Jesus and drank some of the wine of His first recorded miracle with him, you would be fired from a lot of the churches in the country. Shame on us.

The point is, the way the industry labels things as Christian and sells them to you is more to do with marketing than Christianity. They market the cornucopia of historically religious, western values, and cultural boundary markers that created the sectarianism of Evangelical subculture, setting “us” apart from “them”, which makes us feel safe and righteous, while making the gatekeepers rich.

It’s also strange to me when people call those who deviate from the mainstream to stay true to their artistic integrity as “creative”. Artists like Gungor, David Crowder, or John Mark McMillan. Why do we feel it necessary to say that? Notice no one really says that about other types of music. In reviews of certainly authentically creative bands like Radiohead, Bon Iver, Sigur Ros, Bob Dylan, Owl City, Sufjan Stevens, Explosions in the Sky, Jamiroquai, rarely do you see the word “creative” pop up. No one goes to an art gallery and says, “wow that painting is so creative”. Why? Because art is intrinsically creative. Why else would it be there? Its very nature is creativity. It’s like telling me “I love your house because it’s so architectural.”

But when someone in the Christian industry takes their art seriously, everyone loses their collective shit over “how creative it is”. It’s almost like a person living among zombies for years sees an actual human being and exclaims, “look how clean his face is, there’s life for once”. It’s sad that the idea of creativity is so foreign to the Christian music industry that we have to actually point out when someone sees art as art and not zombie propaganda.

Does “Christian” music really exist?

Furthermore, one of my biggest pet peeves is the existence of so-called “Christian music”. Why do we call it that? Music can’t be “saved”. When I hear those songs, it’s not like I can give an altar call for the songs to walk to the front and receive Christ, then baptise them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and partake of communion together with them before I listened to them. Why is Christianity the only religion that has their music segregated by faith rather than genre? Why is it that every time I go to the iTunes store, I don’t see a Muslim section, a Buddhist section, an atheist section, an agnostic section? I can’t be the only one who finds it weird that all music is genre-divided, except for Christian music, which is separated by religious worldview.

I formally indict both Christian and non-Christians: on Christians because we like to retreat into our own subculture, and non-Christians because Jesus followers don’t have a voice in the industry at large.

The whole secular-sacred bullshit (yes, I said bullshit and I’ll say it again. Bullshit. Fight me.)  came from Greek philosophy, which distinguishes things of the body as evil and things of the spirit as important. God never made things to be inherently evil. He didn’t create everything so they’d be “Christian or not”. He created molecules and said they were “good”. It’s only when sin corrupted humanity’s genome, that the violation of our design spawned evil in this world from the tainting of our nature.

People talk about “sinning against God” by listening to and endorsing secular music. But as His image-bearers, we should reflect a proper image of the creativity of God. When we make bad things, we are reflecting a false image of God’s nature. If the Creator Himself is your dad and you have His DNA and you suck at creating, I would consider that a greater sin against God.

You are saying God’s a copycat, when He isn’t. You are saying God is cheesy, when He isn’t. You are saying God doesn’t believe in the excellence of all things, when He does. You deceive yourself.

Yeah, I went there. Fight me.

Jesus in your average Bangla worker

Why is it that art in the church traditionally is only a stained-glass portrayal of Jesus’ crucifixion? Is there no such thing as art in the Christian world outside of salvation? Can art just speak for itself as something beautiful and true and still reflect Jesus? 1 Timothy 4:4 states “For everything created by God is good and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.” That means God should get a lot more glory for things than we are willing to give Him credit for. If we only acknowledge Him for overtly Christian things, we are glory thieves. He wants EVERYTHING. When we bite into food, it’s an opportunity to praise God for taste buds and the pleasure of the ability to eat. When we listen to good music, it’s the same for the sheer creativity of forming something from nothing, similar to the story of Creation itself. When we see His handiwork in the sky or in nature or in general, it’s the same.

Another noteworthy thing: Peter was a fisherman. Paul was a tent-maker. Jesus was a carpenter.

How strange is that? Jesus literally made things out of wood all day. He wasn’t a temple rabbi, but a wood craftsman. An average, blue-collared, 9-to-5 layman. Your average Bangla worker. How sobering the thought is of how quickly we would pass Him today if we saw Him on the street. Excepting vocations that violate Scripture (like prostitution or sorcery), most Bible-time followers of Christ retained their jobs. If a blacksmith became a Christian, he stayed a blacksmith, just a blacksmith to the glory of God.

Paul repeats it numerous times in Ephesians and Colossians, but for example’s sake in 1 Corinthians 10:31: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.” Note that there’s no codicil that states “only if that eating or drinking is done in an outrightly Christian way like communion or after-church potlucks”. We should not consolidate God’s glory to explicitly “Christian” things, because we owe Him more praise than He is due. God gets glory for everything, and every tongue will eventually glorify God, be it through His grace or His justice.

When non-Christians speak the truth

In Acts 17 before the Areopagus council, Paul quotes pagan poets Epimenides and Aratus: “For in him we live, and move, and have our being: as certain also of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also his offspring.’” to prove his point. 

How many of you today would rebuke Paul for quoting secular philosophers instead of the Torah? Truth is truth no matter if it comes out of the mouth of a donkey, a philosopher, a newscaster, a sinner, the president, or a prophet of God. In fact, if we are being transparent, a lot of times when we reject truth coming from non-Christian sources, we’re trying to vindicate ourselves by justifying our disobedience in spiritualising our dysfunction.

If we are so picky about secular-sacred over music, why don’t we apply it everything else to maintain our consistency? Imagine you’re in the ICU at the hospital. How awkward would it be if you told your doctoral team that’s about to operate on you and save your life: “are you all Christians? If not, you can’t perform surgery on me!” That’s stupidity. We judge doctors based on their field of expertise. Either the doctor is good at medicine or not. And you can give God glory and praise when you walk out of the operating room healed because He has uniquely anointed the doctor with a gift in order to bring Him praise, whether the doctor is Christian or not.

The same goes for art and music. It’s not about a piece of work being “Christian” or not, but about being authentic, beautiful and excellent. Paul states in Romans 11:36 that “from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever.” This means God is glorified in everything He creates. Does this mean everything has to be received and accepted? No! That’s why Scripture is the litmus test - does it hold up? Does it line up? Does it reflect God’s character in Jesus?

Creation Mandate or Salvation Mandate?

God cares about every domain of life - science, arts, government, culture - it’s all His. He wants redemption in those fields, and He redeemed us that we might redeem them in His name. We are created to cultivate, not just talk about religious things all day. Jesus makes it very clear He came to build His Kingdom. This isn’t just a consecrated clique, but a lifestyle entirely encompassing every realm of society. If we don’t realise it’s about the redemption of not just people but the entirety of creation, we’ll reduce church doctrine to escapism rather than restoration. Music is God’s. Sex is God’s. God invented them and called them good. Creativity is the wisdom of God manifest.

The issue with our subculture is that our art and glorification of Jesus weakens when we lose our sense of comparison. This happens when Christian musicians aren’t shooting to be the best musicians, but the best Christian musicians. The standards are lowered. Art can speak for itself. It’s a reflection of the creation mandate, not the salvation mandate. Rather than making Christian music, we should make music with a Christian worldview, much like how atheists, Budhist, and others do when they make music. There is nothing about music that is inherently Christian; it’s the worldview in the music that has the potential to be.

When we privatise our art to a nonexistent “Christian” sector, we see churches feeling the need to be relevant rather than just using their gifts to reflect who God is and what He is like. That’s the root of the seeker-sensitivity issue everyone seems to be losing their collective religious marbles about. And the problem with that is that it makes us cheap copycats of what our culture already does. This puts us decades behind “secular culture” because rather than setting precedent, we’re riding their coattails hoping to recycle intact scraps for ourselves. That’s not redeeming. That’s stealing. And if you want to have a taste of your own religious medicine, what does the Ten Commandments say about stealing?

The Laziness of Escapism

The problem with counterfeit art and Christian subcultures is that it tells a sinful lie about God. When we become lazy and only copy other art to make it Christian, we are essentially saying God is a cheap copycat and a fake who requires culture’s creativity. If God is Creator, aren’t His people supposed to be the most creative? When we make art and engage culture, what kind of picture and message are we giving the world about God? How would that convince them that God is better?

The truth is, God is a God of excellence. He accomplishes things above and beyond, lavishing excessively and adding subtle nuances to bring His name glory. When Jesus spoke to Peter about starting the church, He said “the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” The crazy thing about that statement is that gates don’t move on their own. For them to “not prevail”, something has to be charging them, because in the militaristic sense of the word, they are a defensive structure. Jesus is implying that the Church will storm the gates of hell, not fleeing in the opposite direction. We should be engaging and infiltrating and repelling the realms of darkness as a powerful offensive. He doesn’t commission us to retreat, escape, and cling to each other because the powers of hell chase us in the domain of secular music and evil movies. No, He says infect every domain in life with His grace as radioactive contagions.

There is no divide between secular and sacred, and we completely miss the point of worship when we insist on it. God created everything, so something doesn’t have to be explicitly Christian. We judge things based on beauty and truth. God owns truth. He has a monopoly on truth. As Christians, we should be setting the bar for good art and culture, not sequestering ourselves away into our pathetic little sectarian subculture and copying the art we call is "the devil's work" in order to "Christianise" it and make it palatable for an audience who won’t see art for art, as art regardless.

[teenvag]

RnBass Interview: Meet Music Producer & Programmer For The Grammy Museum – Bam Keith

Brandon Keith Thomas known by his stage name Bam Keith (formerly BamAnakin) is a music producer with The Grammy Museum. In this role, Bam Keith manages a team named WAA (We Are Art formed in 2012) in all aspects of music, including production, writing and promotion.

Bam is no stranger to music production, having spent 14 years as a musician and a technological enthusiast, where he played drums in jazz band, piano and organ at churches, won competitions for band and practiced on his old computer on music production religiously. In this role, Bam was responsible for teaching improvisation skills, handing out homework and music theory.

It’s safe to say Bam Keith has his share of experience in music production. RnBass.com recently caught up with the Grammy producer, where talked about his music process, influences, future goals and much more.

Are you working on new music? When do we get to hear it?

New Music with George Watsky –he’s releasing it through kisswatskysgluteusmaximus.com with a video to the song “Don’t Be Nice” and full album on itunes after that.

Tell me about the Keith Kit. How did you come up with this idea?

“I think first what happened was I have a number of samples that I like to use. Drum samples, things I’ve recorded before – a capellas, things like that. I always save things in one folder you know? And I use it over and over. Then I thought – what if I share this? Even though I’ve been working for the GRAMMYs since I was 18 no one really knew me in my own city so this really helped me grow locally. I’m currently working on a piano kit for release this spring.

Tell us about your affiliation with the GRAMMY committee.

When I was going through my crazy phase in high school I had been evicted from houses and was moving house to house. I was 16, my arts coordinator at school Mr. Kelly, Robert Kelly (no relation,) he had noticed I was going through a hard time and he asked me “what’s been going on.” He said how bout this, ‘meet me in my office every day at 12pm no matter what.’ So I met him in the classroom the first day, and he has a drum set in the office and a camcorder in there. He says ‘I want you to play the drums for me.’ The next day he had a keyboard in there and asked me to do the same thing. We did this for about a week straight. The whole time he had a connection to a man I work under now called Bob Santelli, executive director of the GRAMMY museum. Mr. Kelly sent all the videos to him and they got me in to a program called the Music Revolution Program. That class taught me everything there is to know about songwriting. I wrote metal songs, country songs, hip-hop songs, r&b songs – I wrote everything, two songs a week and we had to perform it all. From there I get a phone call about 2 months later and it was them asking if I wanted to work for them and teach.

Do you have any other passions?

Lately, I’ve been looking in to fashion. It was never something I thought I could do but I’ve started getting compliments lately. I grew my hair out and kind of found my style. As a producer image is important. So maybe I’ll start getting in to that.

How long have you considered yourself a full time musician?

The very first thing that I’d done in music even before jobs is, um, rap. I wanted to rap because when I was 7 years old back in 2002 8 mile released! I wrote my first rap and then 5 more raps in one day. I was writing all these raps and I memorized them. I was like ‘oh I can actually do this.’ The next year I started to play drums. I never figured I could rap and play drums like, you know, Anderson Paak does.

{ Pearl is Live }

A post shared by Bam Keith (@bamkeith) on Jun 12, 2015 at 6:57pm PDT

Do you think record labels are necessary these days?

To answer that question with accuracy I think it depends on how much experience and how much studying that you do as far as the music industry goes. I know some people think they can just create a song and send it to somebody and blow up. They don’t even know what ASCAP and BMI are. I think for those people they really don’t know but if they have a passion for something like singing, they need a record label. A Chance, a Macklemore, even a Jay-Z. We never talk about how he started Rocafella with Dame and he just kinda had his own thing the whole time. People like that obviously studied. They wanted to be something other than just a rapper for themselves. So yeah, some people don’t need a record label.

Favorite place you’ve performed/tour stop?

I played at the Hard Rock in Tampa, FloridaT that was amazing. I played with a group called the Reese brothers. One plays drums, plays bass, and sings all at the same time. The other one plays guitar and sings and they wanted me to play with them. My other place is in actually in Lawrence, Kansas called The Grenada. Best sound in the world to me. It’s the best sound experience. Their live engineer, yeah.

What was your best experience in the last year?

Oh yea, I would say when I met swizz beats. Having a studio session with him was, like, amazing.

What’s been your biggest holy sh** moment yet?

Maybe even, well it was the same day actually. To be honest with you a nerd like me who looks up all of the people in the background as far as engineers and all that – when I got to have a private lesson with Bob Power. That was amazing to me, it was the same exact day as when I met Swizz Beats.

Who’s been your favorite artist you’ve collaborated with?

Kutty Bear from Kansas city. That dude is insane. Its really insane, he’s a rapper but I don’t even like to call him that, he’s really an artist. He’s figured out ways to rhyme in multi syllabic ways like Eminem or Kendrick Lamar you know? And he realizes the importance of songwriting. When he features he realizes the importance of team work. And even on the same level Apollo – he’s really fun and he truly knows how to ride on the beat. Kutty Bear just released an album too! Bear Chronicles 5 check it out I do have some production on it.

Brag a little bit, who have you worked with / performed with? All Star Lineup.

Okay well um Nick Cooper (vocal coach for Bey and Rih) he’s great and Zendaya. I actually put her through a whole artist development program. Her and Pia Mia. I actually got a chance to record Pia Mia and be her engineer for a little while. Of course George Watsky and then theres G Watts, hes local in Kansas City but he’s known for his song with Kendrick Lamar. So executive producing his whole album, Caviar, to be released soon. Oh and you know what? I ran in to the Game last year and we had a really interesting conversation. It seems like he wants to use me. You know for him to take time out and call me again was cool. Will we ever hear a solo project from you? Oh wow – you know what? My first album will be a dual album that I’ve talked about with Kutty Bear. You know I’m 23 right now and we plan to put it out before either of us turns 25. 25 is a really important age for us you know people that we’ve known that didn’t make it past 25. On the college dropout you know “We wasn’t sposed to make It past 25, jokes on you we still alive” you know 25 really relates to us. So yeah dual album called Chaos. A part 2 to an album he released back in high school called Peace. So Chaos is actually an acronym it stands for Cold Hearted And Out Spoken. Kutty he’s a genius with acronyms. We plan to make it on par with Watch The Throne.

What’s your creative process?

Usually I’ll start beatboxing and never notice it. I don’t even notice myself beatboxing until like 5 minutes from then and I’ll be like ‘oh what was I just doing?’ Then I beat box again and I’ll be like ‘oh me lay this down.’ So I find some drums that I like and the sounds that I like and I lay that down. It usually starts with the drums or it will start with the harmonies sometimes. Sometimes I sing – just like with the drums I’ll be humming and then I’ll be like ‘oh what is that I was just humming? I don’t think that’s a song I think it’s something my brain made up’ and im like okay – I’ll go lay it down. But what I like to do the most – I have a neurological phenomenon. Well it’s a neurological thing they call Synesthesia so I see colors with music. So really any color that’s not in the correct harmony will look bad to me. So that’s how I make my music. Like, I’ll see a color like it might be like a dark blue or purple-ish color and what I think would look good with that is a teal color maybe or something. It depends on the sound or the chord that makes something for me. Its weird but uh, yeah.

Any idols? influences?

Jay Z. Pharell Williams, the one I want to be better than as far as making hits. Kendrick Lamar for his depth. And then I look at Deadmau5 a lot. And the last one would be Katranayda. He’s a producer but he released an album.

Anything you would like to say to our audience?

I want to let them know that I will be releasing a drum video soon to one of my favorite songs. It will be Alyiah “Rock The Boat” drum cover. I’ve been working on it practicing on it. GoPro actually endorsed me last year so they’ve given me a bunch of cameras to attach to my drums and I’ll be releasing that

through them.

Fun playing live with you all ! (Postcard LP)

A post shared by Bam Keith (@bamkeith) on Jun 3, 2015 at 6:41pm PDT

The post RnBass Interview: Meet Music Producer & Programmer For The Grammy Museum – Bam Keith appeared first on RnBass.

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