#its the same thing with race (and i dont mean those ‘trans race’ people)

[olderthannetfic]

Sorry to drag on the antis and kin thing, but hi! Ive been in otherkin spaces for 10+ years and I can say that everyone is sort of right here- it is both coming from antis invading our spaces and using us as talking points and doing the kff 'steal our serious words to mean 'I project on a fictional character' thing AND from kin who havent been taught appropriate 'kin manners' so to speak.

See back in the forum days it was generally understood you Never Ever went into fandom talking about 'kin and how fandom effects you as fictionkind. It was understood that they were engaging with fictional cutout dolls that just happened to mirror your experiences (in past life or otherwise)to an uncanny degree. It was understood you did not make your kintype the fandoms problem, and more importantly Never Ever made it the creators problem. If fandom negatively effected you, that was a YOU problem, not that they were evil or whatever for playing pretend.

We used to be able to teach people to manage this stuff dammit!

With the advent of tumblr and its telephone game, it sort of ruined the ability to make sure newbies were given this sort of coaching or knew the oft unspoken rules. Newbies(often YOUNG newbies) now high on tumblr sj and newly Awakened and having not yet integrated their experiences, then started doing the things that they were once told to not do but no longer were(helped along by tagging culture and broken search). You would see kin in the fandom maintags, you see kin talking to small-time creators of their source, things that used to be opt in to see were put in front of those who might feel profoundly upset about it. These people, not knowing the most important part of being fictionkin(and many other 'woo' ey communities like astral travelers and immersive daydreamers) is how to integrate it safely into your life so you dont start eroding your ability to tell fiction(people writing fictional characters being hurt) from reality(terrible things happening to *you*) and that if you are struggling with that you should be seeking therapy instead.

The real problem was the advent of Yandere Bitch Club. Maybe not them specifically, but they popularized the 'kinning is a social justice act' thing because they wanted to be the Most Valid version of their kintypes. They also were white cis women racefaking, pretending to be trans women, and faking DID and having been actually caught doing so iirc. They sent gore to people and threatened them for 'kinning outside your race'. Which is a concept that has a lot of problems im not getting into. Because it sounded 'sj-ey' enough, people hopped on the bandwagon, kin and nonkin alike. They may not have been the first people to claim this, but they certainly popularized it. When people said 'hey kin isnt a cute fun choice, this is serious and integral to our identity' the tune became 'saying this is not a choice is racist then, it totally is a choice and not that serious' because that was the only way to keep their point held up.

About at this time things like 'you cant kin an abuse survivor' and 'if you arent a gay man specifically you cant have a gay man kintype' and 'if you have a exomemories of abuse and arent an abuse survivor thats ableist' and other inane policing of integral identity. This went hand in hand with anti-ism almost always.

This is when KFF started getting real bad, because it became a performative faux social justice thing because otherwise their 'no im the most valid' wouldnt hold up anymore. Kin was telephoned to mean 'like family, relating to' instead of Kind shortened to Kin as in 'identifying as, like mankind'.

On both these fronts is where the 'antis who are kin' thing comes from. Same with the huge amounts of plural folks who are antis. A lot of these people are abuse survivors who drank the radfem kool aid unknowingly then because they have no good outlets and want to feel valid enough they start hurting others and with the encouragement of antis using them as a tool of violence ('see this person had a panic attack because they saw that bad ship art!' its materially hurting The Real Character) and often eroding their ability to keep those fiction-reality boundaries separate you end up with the droves of people who are antis like this.

Antis destroyed a community that was older than they are. Fictionkin tags used to have like 30+ active posters, you used to see them frequently on forums, now they have all but vanished in part because if you were too problematic in public theyd skin you for it and in part because they encouraged people to end up with terribly unhealthy relationships to their source, and in part because antis saw it as a tool to hit people with if they went 'oh im x then' (as in related to the character) and then went 'that means I can harass others and have it mean something'.

Those goku-against-ddlg and 'ed-against-elricest or whatever blogs often used to be run by either 14 y/o kin who were encouraged to have no boundaries with reality or KFF using fictionkin as a bludgeon to attack fandom. They were a staple of anti-ism in 2016 or so for a reason. These blogs used to actively encourage eroding fiction-reality boundaries and actively and (I strongly suspect)intentionally used to trigger their followers so they became a rabid hoard of hurt kids to throw at the target of the week.

There is a reason now so many fandomfolk hate otherkin and its going to be so hard to patch that because of what antis did to both our communities and it sucks real bad.

So theres the dumbest wank history I know guess! Sorry for the psychic damage.

--

[agp]

for those wondering what the opposite (equating trans identity with nonbinary identity on trans terms) would look like: thats when we say shit like 'theres no such thing as a binary trans person' as a means to deny the nature of the obstacles particular people face: the coloniality of gender.

coloniality is universalizing. it claims to explain all. it pigeonholes. it makes boxes to sort us into and calls it to be all there is. western gender norms are binary. it is a set of two boxes. this 'binarism' is specifically the coloniality of the binary: the universalization of its mode of interpretation and dominance.

and this hiearchy of categorization produces differences that are difficult to talk about. no i dont think a binary between binary and nonbinary trans people that fits all trans people makes sense on its own. i dont think whiteness or transness or womanhood stand to reason on their own either tbh. but i do think the coloniality of gender seeks to understand and explain us, and we exist in relation to these boxes that rule our lives

'stop drawing boxes' shouldnt be something you say to someone describing the boxes they are limited by. thats what were struggling against. its what you should say to the institutions that people seek help in their struggle with. its the same logic people use when white people complain about the race card (or any other 'card'). acknowledging our differences when we abuse each other over them is difficult. we scapegoat the one trying to address an existing issue as the one whose fault it all is for 'drawing' the line rather than listening to them describe what had been drawn against them.

and yeah in western settler society some trans women have more obstacles than others. those who deride us for asserting conflicting identities along with our womanhood have reasons for doing so that continue to justify their violence and enable its perpetuation. some people existentially cannot consider themselves challenging the coloniality of gender the way others do. and some people refuse to treat nonbinary trans women and our problems through more than the vector of transmisogyny. our problems are more than just passing problems you catty assholes. and the catty assholes on our side arent any better for insisting all trans womens problems, including all the problems of those who identify as binary, are really just nonbinary problems.

as settlers our perspectives are privileged within the coloniality of gender and our ways of struggling are given precedence over indigenous peoples ways of struggling because this protects and maintains colonial hegemony. my way of seeing this is only another coloniality of gender. but this is because i am colonized and live in a colonial society that itself lives on those divisions.

the equating of trans and nonbinary identity has political repercussions for both groups of people because thats what they are: political tools. this equivalence is not a form of solidarity it is obfuscation and denial. please stop trying to align the two so your coloniality of gender can be simpler for yourself while more restricting to those who are exploited by it and in line with hegonic ways of managing our becomings.

[botanyshitposts]

is that why you think mammals have more than two sexes

idk if this was supposed to be like, a bizarre transphobic jab, but partially, actually. in biology very, very few things actually occur in binary groups; i prefer to imagine biological sex, as well as gender, by imagining two overlapping bell curves. there’s an average that we expect from gender and sex matching up at birth because most people will fall within the first quartile of the curves where all the most average genes were turned on and all the non-genetic factors surrounding that turn out in an average expected way, and there are more people who still are just as male or female but have different genes turned on and off or whatnot and wouldnt check every single box if like, The Chromosome Police showed up and made them do a cheek swab or whatever, and there are people who are intersex, which covers a wide range of different expressions of the genome.

but! we don’t have The Chromosome Police and we don’t need them, because we have gender to do this for us, which is something that has much more to do with a mix of genetic and sociological factors. in my opinion, gender makes it so that even if you’re a cis man who doesnt have like, idk penis gene #435 on the Y chromosome, youre still a man, and even if youre a woman who doesnt have vagina gene #874 turned on, youre still a woman. hell, some people go their entire lives without knowing that they have full extra chromosomes. it just....it just doesnt matter.

to expand on this, my theory is that gender serves the function of convenience more than like, a law or whatever; we have a system where there are usually a small set of things that happen as a result of a wide range of thousands of different things that turn off and on during development, and a lot of different moving parts are going on in that department that help mitigate disaster if one deletes itself or whatever, and not all those things are guaranteed to turn on or off, and as a result we’ve developed a system where regardless of whats in your pants- because anything could be there, honestly, evolution works in systems and as a result doesnt know or care- there’s a social thing that functions differently on another level thats more elastic, so no matter if you’re a woman who was born with one singular penis gene turned on or a woman who had a lot of them turn on, you both can kind of be in the same clump of ‘people who are this’. not ‘people who look like this’ or ‘people who do this thing’ or ‘people who have x combinations of chromosomes’, but ‘people who, for whatever multitude of reasons and results or relationships with themselves, are this way or another way or are existing successfully in some distant combination of ways’, and having those people around- if we follow this theory- apparently was not at all disastrous enough for evolution to pump the breaks and start killing people who never activated Penis And Vagina Gene #1456. in fact, trans people have been around as long as humans have, and that includes nonbinary people, intersex people, and cis people with different gender expressions. ancient societies had us around, there are just as many of us now as there always was, and biology just. it does not care.

think of all the things that go into a person. there is a whole lot of stuff that we do not understand. there are so many things that could change, or differ from individual to individual, and having a lot of moving parts like this with millions of different viable combinations of biological and environmental things works, because it means that the entire system doesnt break like a fucking twig if both a penis and a vagina gene turn on at the same time, or if little grog in the forest grows up hunting mammoths with his 8 moms and no dads in a nomadic tribe in prehistoric france. it also means that even if someone ends up as another combination, they dont immediately collapse into a heap of dust! great system, for the most part.

now, this is all contentious. first of all, this is my own set of theories on why this exists, and second of all i have complex feelings about the science surrounding this itself; as a biologist im fascinated, but as a trans queer person it’s terrifying. the reason this is is because there are two groups of people who want to learn things like this: people who actually want to study the details of human sex and gender, and people who want to find The Ultimate Queer Gene to ‘fix’ us forever, which like. as ive covered before. egregious moral, ethical, and basic human rights reasons aside. not something that actually would improve us as a species even if we did go to the farthest ends of the bell curves i mentioned and manage to transform the entire human race into two massive homogeneous supermale and superfemale groups with only the the most Epic And Extreme big dick and boob genes selected for (or, if were going off TERF logic, femurs of a bizarrely specific length or like, a skull shape or smth, you can see where this goes very quickly).

like. this shit is complicated. it is. sometimes, things in biology- especially when it comes to real people of our own species- are best left as enigmas, you know what im saying. but in the meantime, we can take estimates, we can say ‘we can make an educated guess about the biological sex of a skeleton by looking at their pelvis’, but we cant say ‘all cis women have femurs of exactly x cm, which is absolutely a normal and not creepy thing to obsess over’, and we cant say ‘all human beings are either male or female and that looks one of two ways’, because as we know from intersex people and all the other caveats in this subject, this is not true.

we can say with confidence that most human beings have a gender that matches what is average for their biological sex (which doesnt always define itself as the exact same set of characteristics to begin with) but not always, and most human beings have have a gender which falls vaguely under the umbrella of two vaguely defined existences, but not always, and most women have a femur length between x and x cm long, but women come in all shapes and sizes and therefore it isnt a good way to define what being a living breathing person of a particular circumstance means or looks like, holy shit, etc, and we can use this knowledge to make educated guesses about the world, but we can also use knowledge of what isn’t the majority of people to make educated guesses about what those guesses mean, and what roles they play (and hopefully will get some more rights in the meantime).

so yeah like. most people are one of two biological sexes, but its more complicated than ‘peepis or vagornio’, you feel.

#idk what anon is referring to here either lmao but you know #the usage of 'sex' here tells me this is either a HARD terf or someone who does not know that there is a difference #transphobia / #mildly i suppose but im not sure of anons intent #not plonts #asks

[violencebian]

while we're here let me throw out my take on trans alters

its not transphobic for an alter to identify as trans when the body is not. the body itself cannot be trans as trans is not a physical feature, it's part of an internal identity. it's more of a feeling than a physical thing. if an alter feels the trans label is right for them then it's right for them. plus there could be several reasons an alter might identify as trans, maybe psuedomemories, maybe they present one gender at first and feel more comfortable as another, maybe they're genderfluid, maybe they're nonbinary. i also feel like arguing alters cant be trans is invalidating to nonbinary alters and nonbinary as a trans identity. if an alter cant be trans but they're nonbinary what does that mean? nonbinary people suddenly arent trans anymore? when it comes to gender and sexuality we should let alters identify however they feel most fit as gender and sexuality are internal identities and more of a feeling. they're not the same as alters that present as a different race than the body while in the headspace.

endos/nontraumagenics, tulpas, supporters and anyone who interacts with them dni. i dont want my post in those spaces.

#-jinx #syscourse #endos dni

[femboty2k]

Long post about something I think about a lot and that doesn’t matter to anyone else but me probably

I’m sure there’s a million posts out there on why good representation is important and good but I just wanted to talk shortly about something that happened to me in a recent span of a few months involving a character in a dumb game about collecting jpegs of anime women and hunky dudes with giant swords.

There’s a game called Granblue Fantasy, its an extremely popular gacha game/JRPG with a very large roster of characters and a lot of stuff to do as far as reading through character lore, fighting JRPG battles, raids, and basically playing VNs for character dialogue. It’s a pretty good game, and one of the coolest things about it, is it has (to my knowledge, I dont play/keep up with it very often) 2 canon trans characters. One is named Cagliostro, an alchemist who was born as a man but through extensive experimentation and some self discovery has since transitioned into a woman, hell bent on making herself as cute as possible. Fun right? She’s presented extremely well and is one of the game’s more fun characters. The second character is one that has become a personal favourite for me for many reasons, her name is Ladiva.

Ladiva is a part of a race of people called the Draph. The Draph are a humanoid, and pretty much human looking, race of people with their defining features being their large stature and bovine like horns and ears. This is important because male draph are usually much larger and more muscular than female draph (but its a horny anime game so who can say they’re surprised lol). Ladiva, as my discussion here makes obvious, is a trans woman belonging to these folk. Because of this, she’s both quite large, muscular(and more masculine presenting on the surface), and has rugged looking facial hair. The surprising thing about her presentation in comparison to how she looks, is that she’s presented incredibly well. despite her appearance being not as feminine as it could be (with Cagliostro even offering to make her a new totally feminine body only to have Ladiva refuse, stating that she should love her own body along with the rest of herself) she’s treated as what she is, a woman.

So why am I talking about this? Why am I putting my poorly put together thoughts on this tumblr post no one will read? Well, I am trans. I have felt a certain way about myself all my life that I’m sure most trans people can echoe so I won’t wast time waxing poetic about how I’ve always felt more feminine than I was “supposed” to be. My core purpose of this post comes from the fact that I am 6′2, nearly 300lbs of muscle/fat/body hair, and have had a full beard since I was 14. I am EXCEEDINGLY masculine, which has made my own internal struggle with my transness sort of difficult to accept. A sort of constant push and pull of wanting to just repress it all because I already pass as a man and wanting to work towards being who I know I actually am. Another factor is that I never felt truly comfortable with purely feminine pronouns. In highschool I went by a different name, and I used she/her pronouns and for a while it felt okay. But it was always just, okay. It never felt right on top of several people giving me some rather hurtful backlash for it and how it contrasted so much with my physical appearance. So I stowed it all away until about a year ago. I now have something that I didn’t have before, a truly wonderful and supportive group of adult friends who treat me like an adult as well and take me seriously. So through careful examination of how I felt i began trying new things to explore my identity. It began with me deciding I wanted to use they/them pronouns, this stuck and still feels like its the right thing for me along with the label of Nonbinary. However, slotting myself into this new label and finally feeling comfortable in an identity brought about new thoughts as well as new things to mull over in my head. Things like the fact that most nonbinary representation in media falls under the same category of a waifish AFAB person who presemts femininely if not androgynous, and how people like me are a vocal minority within the community itself even being excluded by a small portion of it. It was a new set of things to tackle and think about. But that aside, with them came the most important thing I asked myself, “am I comfortable with how I am now? Or do those thoughts I had all those years ago mean something?”

This question isnt easy. Gender is a strange subject and is different to everyone who experiences something with their identity, so I wont pretend like I have any definitive answers for anything because, there arent really any of those. The question for myself, boiled down to “Am I more comfortable identifying as transfeminine, or am I comfortable with just being nonbinary.” This question vexed me for a little while. It hurt to think about. A lifetime of bullying and being made to be ashamed of my body type and stature had made my confidence in myself rather lackluster. This made the decision more difficult. It would be easy to try and own a sense of pride in being a masculine presenting nonbinary person. There aren’t many of those in representation as I mentioned before, and at the time it made me feel nice to think that it was what I wanted. But those thoughts I had all those years ago did mean something, and thats not who I am. The answer I ultimately came to, was that I am trans, and want to present more feminine than masculine, because that’s who I know I am, and not just what I think would be easiest. So, to bring it all together, how the everloving fuck does this relate to a character from a gacha game? Well, when i first saw Ladiva I nearly wrote her off as a character that probably was used as a disrespectful  joke on trans women and how they’re viewed. She’s not though. She has an entire montra of loving herself and others for who they are and owning every aspect of herself, including her body. She’s not a small lady, she’s a large/muscular wrestler who, in no mistake of words, still looks very masculine, right down to her facial hair. But none of that matters, not her appearance, not her beard, not her height, she’s still a woman and she’s seen as one by the others around her because, well, that’s what she is. She makes it known and others accept, or at the very least, respect it. It was something entirely new to see something like this in a form of popular media, and in turn it gave me an odd sense of self confidence in my own current appearance, even though I do intend on changing it through HRT and other means (exercise and other health related means). It meant a lot to me to see someone who was, in at least some way, like me who was loved by the community of the game she was in. And it still does. In conclusion, Ladiva is a very cool character, and her existing gave me a boost of confidence that helped lead me towards accepting things about myself that I had found it hard to previously. Go look into Granblue if you like games like that, there’s even a fighting game that came out not too long ago. Thanks for reading, if you did, this whole post is long and kind of dumb because I’m kind of dumb. But I wanted to put it somewhere. Have a nice day <3

#rambling #long post #ladiva #granblue fantasy #thanks granblue #kinda dumb just ignore me lol #im just talkin to myself #trans #guess ill throw that tag on there #shrug #nonbinary #gender stuff

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[vietnyamese]

i think something important to note with how we present ourselves in terms of identity in public both on the internet and in conversation is that labels are just that - labels.

whether i call myself gay, or lesbian, or queer, it will never be able to explain the depth of my relationship of how i identify myself nor how my identity shapes the way i interact with the societal structures around me. because we all perceive labels differently. the only thing we use them for is a vague grouping of certain characteristics wherein that a good amount of people will agree on a few of them.

there’s a bit of a problem, i feel sometimes where younger people (not bashing on them, i’m one of them) feel the need to put a hyperspecific name to how they express or experience their identity in the form of creating a microlabel of sorts. i think it’s important when it comes to this stuff that we take a step back and just understand that it’s not so important that others are privy to how we love others or how we live our lives. labels are important for communication, but they only inform your identity to others, and should not encompass how you view yourself.

#color.txt #something that was kind of bothering me #a little preachy and a little bit obvious but ive wanted to say this for a while #also this isnt about ‘identity politics’ this is more about like. i dunno how you view yourself in the public sphere #its the same thing with race (and i dont mean those ‘trans race’ people) #q slur

[lazygravez]

yall gotta stop using "theyre just cookies!" as a way to excuse ur gross behavior. yeah, they ARE gingerbread people, but they have personalities, emotions, and general appearances of ppl

so many of the cookies are race or culture-coded. you cant humanize a dark-skinned cookie to have light skin, its erasure. "its not a skin color its dough so it doesnt matter" MOST OF THEM ALREADY HAVE HUMAN SKIN TONES. JUST USE THOSE. WHAT IS SO SCARY ABOUT A BROWN SKIN TONE

same thing with pronouns, too. all of them have genders and pronouns like ppl, they should be respected. and dont even use that "some enby ppl use he/him she/her so i can call a they/them that" bs. enbies can absolutely use hehim or she/her but misgendering is misgendering. its not that hard to use pronouns correctly.

and there are also cookies that devsisters goes out of its way not to call them any pronouns. thats nonbinary coding, baby!

and some of yall like to go out of ur way to find what gender the characters are in the japanese translation so you can find a way to dodge the fact that a character is nonbinary. thats not even the original translation what the fuck. because you are so terrified of calling someone "they/them". just day you hate trans ppl and move on

"devsisters said we can headcannon them with whatever gender we want." you mean the company with no nonbinary on staff? listen to actual trans ppl, buddy

also, dont even try to tell me that shipping adults and kids is okay. the cookies all have ages like humans, dipshit. go ahead and block me if you support p*dos.

i was angy while writing so this was kinda ranty and mean but i just needed to get this point across

#cookie run #crob #ovenbreak #cr

[romolite]

*Important FAQ*

Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.

First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa

Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)

Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for  “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.) 

Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all.  I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.

Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT

non-trans - cis

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. 

And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.

Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?

Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.

I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.

And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.

And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.

I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?

Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following

Why do you hate Ao3?

*long sigh*

I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.

And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?

What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?

[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]

TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.

What’s wrong with Hamilton?

Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all. 

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.

Do you want to be mutuals?

I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.

Why is it important to have byf or about?

1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion

2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)

3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.

Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.

I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).

Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked

I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.

Why am I blocked? Check here.

Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?

I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course! 

#lite.txt #long post #faq

[stonefemblues]

(1)hii if you dont feel comfortable answering this or im bothering you you dont have to and sorry for wasting your time reading that. i have a question: where do you think being trans begins and being cis stops? i used to avoid all of conversation abt my gender and just dismiss it with „womanhood is tied to relationship with men and i cant relate because im a lesbian so my gender is lesbian” but lately i have started feeling awful abt my gender and having to say that im a woman in places where i

(2) just state my gender without explaining my sexuality is very uncomfortable. i dont want to mention my sexuality all the time but gender is involved in so many day to day interactions and i feel like im suffocating having to state im cis lol but would i be crossing a line by saying im not cis? i mean im a femme, so im not seen as gnc and i dont identify as nb because im afraid everybody will misunderstand my lesbianism and my language cant be gender neutral anyway.

(3) what do you think? do you maybe have some resources to read about that? thank you, all the love ❤️

ok im gonna just like. ramble a bit with my thoughts on this. this is gonna be really long and idk if its coherent but here u go!

trans and cis are identifiers that are used to communicate someone’s relationship to their assigned gender at birth, and by extension their relationship to transphobia. they are not perfect, all encompassing words, because these concepts are based on such vague things - the meaning, role, and personal significance of gender varies widely in different cultures, different time periods, and different individual communities or individual people. lots of things affect the meaning, role, and significance of gender, such as race, age, location, parents, jobs, etc. so its hard to even pin down what the Western Binary definition of gender is, mainly because it doesn’t really exist. its basically formed of pressures, pushing people towards either the woman box or the man box, and different people have different ideas of what those boxes should look like, so the pressures aren’t always going in the same direction. and throughout history people have been working to deconstruct or expand those boxes.

basically what im trying to say is that gender is a social construct, constructed by all the various things that make up varying aspects of varying societies, and thus so are trans and cis. which doesn’t mean that they don’t have meaning. but their meaning can only be determined by how well they communicate something to other people - aka their usefulness. this also applies to nonbinary. how can you know if you are outside of the binary when the binary isn’t legitimate, or when you can’t pin down what exactly defines the binary? the answer is, you are nonbinary (and/or trans, or cis) if it is useful to describe yourself as such to other people.

cis, trans, and nonbinary don’t tell you much about a person on their own. all trans tells you is that they don’t identify fully with the gender they were assigned at birth. all cis tells you is that they do. all nonbinary tells you is that they don’t identify fully as either a Man or a Woman. none of these tell you the exact gender a person identifies as, or how society tends to gender them, or how masculine or feminine they are, or how much/what kind of transphobia they may or may not experience. some of these things may be useful to communicate to certain (not necessarily all) other people, so you tack on other identifiers, such as “tme (transmisogyny-exempt) nonbinary femme lesbian” in my case, which helps narrow it down a bit.

now back to you. you say you feel awful about your gender, about saying that you are a woman. you say you feel like you’re suffocating when you say that you’re cis. that sounds to me like you are not a cis woman, because if you identified with Cis Woman you would probs be fine saying that. (this is not the same as saying that you should feel comfortable with gender, only with the words you use to locate yourself).

so, if you do not identify with Cis Woman, which is presumably the gender you were assigned at birth, then by definition you are trans. but is trans a useful term for you to describe yourself as? maybe, but not necessarily always. for example, there are some trans groups that would certainly be welcome to gender experiences like yours, so you could include yourself in that group. but another example, if you called yourself a “trans femme” people are most likely going to assume you are a tma (transmisogyny-affected) femme trans woman. so in that case trans would not be useful because it is not communicating what you want to communicate.

i discussed this more in this post so maybe read that too

you say that you do not identify as nonbinary because you are afraid that everybody will misunderstand your lesbianism, and your language can’t be gender neutral anyway. based on how you’ve described your gender feelings, i would encourage you to reconsider these points on nonbinary. nonbinary is 100% compatible with lesbianism. there’s tons of lesbians that identify as nonbinary, and many lesbians feel like they are nonbinary because being a lesbian is an inherently nonbinary experience, which lines up with your own feelings - “womanhood is tied to relationship with men and i cant relate because im a lesbian so my gender is lesbian.” who will misunderstand your lesbianism when you call yourself nonbinary? homophobes, transphobes, transmedicalists, cis people, straight people? how much do they matter when you are definining your own identity to yourself, or communicating your identity to your community, or to people you trust? you may have to simplify your identity or default to Cis Woman when talking to people you do not trust, or on official forms or the like, and it will feel suffocating, because you know that your experience of gender as a lesbian is outside of the binary… or in other words, nonbinary.

of course, if you really don’t want to identify as nonbinary, thats always up to you. but i really would recommend thinking about if your choice not to use it is because it is not a useful identity to you, or if you are doing it because of the misperceptions of other people. there will always be people who will mispercieve lgbt identities, but we can’t let that stop us from being what we really are. you also say your language can’t be gender neutral anyway. i’m not sure exactly what you mean by this. pronouns? you can be nonbinary and still go by she/her if you want. or maybe you feel like you could never get other people to use neutral pronouns for you. i go by she/her in public, around straight people, because its not worth the effort to me personally to change it (although it does grate a bit) but i can go by they/them with my loved ones and that feels good. other gendered words do not have to be avoided as a nonbinary person if you don’t want to. remember, nonbinary does not equal gender neutral, or gender absence. you can be a nonbinary woman, girlfriend, etc if you want to be.

nonbinary is not an identity on its own, necessarily (although some may choose to use it as such). it does not define a specific gender. rather, its a modifier, a category, of other genders or lack of gender. it can mean a lot of different things to different people. in this way its vague, but in combination with other identifiers i think its very useful. i’m a femme lesbian, i pass as a woman in most social settings, i am relatively feminine for the most part, i often group myself with other women. but i do not identify with Woman as it was assigned to me at birth. by calling myself a nonbinary lesbian, or even a nonbinary woman, i can indicate that my relationship to gender, to womanhood, is complicated. if someone wanted the exact details on my gender identity i would have to write an essay (like im doing now lol). but most of the time its sufficient to get as close as possible with 1-3 words, so i stick with “nonbinary femme lesbian”. in some cases i might even just say nonbinary, or just lesbian, or just femme. it all depends on my audience and what i need to communicate.

again, thats all identities are - terms to communicate something about yourself to a specific audience. you may have to use different words depending on your audience. some terms may be useful in some situations but not others. their exact definitions depend on a ton of variable factors. its up to you, what you feel comfortable with, what is useful to you, what you want to communicate and to whom. you might choose to identify as nonbinary and/or trans, or even just ‘not cis’, because of your conception of what binary womanhood means and your experience of gender that lays outside of its definition. or maybe, you might choose to expand your definition of cis womanhood to include your experience of gender. either one is up to you. personally i’d rather deconstruct the boxes of gender as opposed to make them more broad and vague tho.

#sorry if this makes zero sense im impressed if anyone actually reads the whole thing #im open to responses on it tho?? #Anonymous #snail mail! #but please dont rb this unless u need to to respond to it. its not like well written at all

[calm-me-down-oh]

How about all the questions ;)

skdsjf ofc u would get me back for that, under a readmore bc theres a lot!

When was the last time you masturbated? Yesterday! Had a.. very hot convo w my gf

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering? Uhh the only time Ive had it done to me the person had to stop bc they got uncomfy with it and it was overall just a bit odd,, wait it happened a second time and their nails were too sharp also sdkfhsdh I feel like I could get to like it though? If its like, actually properly done rather than my current experiences sdhfk

How do you feel about food during sex? nno thanks mostly? I guess it can kinda depend on the food though idk, like if my gf suggested somethin I might not mind trying it out depending on what it was yknow

What do you do directly after sex? um.. well afaik just kinda lay/sit in a daze for a moment, mayb have some water, get real clingy, kind of have to be nudged into doing stuff bc i guess my brain just stops working skjdfkj

Cuddle with the tip in? Hell yeah. cuddle with it all in. sounds good.

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? I don’t think I’ve really done anything nasty sdjkfsj all the sex ive had has been quite brief and vanilla idk

Name a follower you would fuck. @you-better-make-me!

Name a follower you have fucked. None..

What’s the sexiest part of your body? Idk man I guess my thighs are ok people seem to like them anyway

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe Am i supposed to know who these people are

Would you ever be with a trans person? i think the real question is would i ever be with a cis person (yes i would be with a trans person i am with 2 trans people and i am trans and i havent dated anyone cis since i was like 15)

Riding dick or doggy style? yes

Ever fucked in a school? Nope

Most random place you’ve had sex? havent really had sex in a random place lmao just beds

Would you ever be part of the mile high club? maybe..? thats having sex on a plane right. idk. maybe

Name three of your spots. what does this mean fkjd

Fuck on the first date? Depends

Do you suck dick? I’m sure gonna try!

Do you eat ass? Idk maybe not skdfjhsjk

Do you eat pussy? Haven’t yet, nearly did, got too nervous sdkjfh

Do you like kissing? So much!!

Is farting during sex sexy? I.. I mean its not sexy but like im also not gonna have a negative reaction. unless its me. that is something im admittedly very nervous about fkjd

Ever fucked in the shower? Nope

How old were you when you lost your virginity? Uh............ good question. 19 or 20 i forget if it was before my birthday but within the last year. unless you only count penetrative sex, then I haven’t yet

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? Y..yes? I suppose afternoon/night is usually a better time, morning is jsut sleepy and trying to remember how to exist hours

Do you like drunk sex? Haven’t had it but I do get horny when I drink, wouldn’t be against trying it with someone I trust

Do you like high sex?  Again never had it! And I haven’t really been high either so Idk

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll N..none for any

When was your first kiss? I was like 13 I think

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? College

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope. Wait maybe. Kind of. Idk when I was younger I was with this guy who would try get me to touch myself n I hadn’t figured out how to make it feel good so I’d just lie and say I was when i wasnt bc i didnt wanna do it so maybe at some point i said i came when i hadnt sdfhks

Ever painted/been painted on? Yeah but not in like a horny way, my ex would paint on my hand as kinda their way of flirting with me

You like sex toys? Sure

What’s your favorite sex position? Personally think missionary is underrated bc that closeness and being able to cling just sounds v good but also getting fucked from behind face down ass up also sounds,, v good lately

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? beddd, maybe couch, floor just seems uncomfortable

Do you like car sex? Never had it, just seems a bit awkward but I guess I’d be open to trying it

You get instantly horny; what happened? My neck got bit!

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina. Kill chris brown. idk who the others are

Describe your crush. Don’t have one!

Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? Uh... Idk? I mean, theres preventative measures for basically all std’s right? So as long as those are taken so i dont also get it I guess it’d be ok

Rate your head game. No clue dkfhdsj

Rate your sex. Awkward!

Would you fuck someone outside of your race? ?? yes. what kind of question is this

Describe the type of freak you are. idk what this means but what first came to mind was ‘pet’ so take that as u will

Ever tasted your own nut/cum? Sure

Into golden showers? Nope

Body count: Under or Over 25? Wayyy under

How do you feel about nipple play? Uh depends! Not into being harsh like clamps etc just seems like itd hurt n not in a good way, but playing w/ them w ur hands and sucking on them. very good

Where do you like to be nutted on? chest/stomach seems good

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? bottoming

What do you consider “too small?” Idk man dick is dick idc

Is play fighting foreplay? It sure can be!

Do you like angry sex? In concept maybe, in reality itd just kinda scare me

How long should a quickie be? Idk.. quick

How long is “too long” to have sex? Idk sex ends whenever one of u wants to stop, don’t think u can go too long if ur both comfortable with it

How long is “too long” to go without sex? Listen i.. am not the person to be asking this I’ve had sex maybe 3 times spread out over almost a year. i have never regularly had sex

Is “no” relevant in a relationship? Incredibly relevant!! Always!! Unless you’ve discussed beforehand that its ok to ignore it and have a safeword in place instead!! and then that safeword is not to be ignored!!

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? Sure but idk if i could do it

Would you have sex in a public bathroom? mmmaybe....

Would you have sex in a changing room? mmmmmmmmaybe

Who was the last person you had sex with? My ex

Describe your type. Idk I have the weirdest type i think they have like nothing in common then theyll all turn around and be into the same stuff or something its v strange

Name 3 turn-ons. Biting, just making out sometimes tbh, skin contact in places usually covered by clothes or under clothes..

Name 3 turn-offs. Umm. i definitely have turn offs but whenever im asked my mind goes blank. I guess being overly rough, hair pulling im undecided on tbh, and oh i usually dont like having my ass smacked but idk if itd change if it were like.. in the middle of sex

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. Bad pain or panicking or it seems like the other person is uncomfortable. or someones knocking on the door for some reason sdkfjs

Would you answer a phone call during sex? no omg

Would you ever pay for sex? Nah.

Would you accept money for sex? Uh. Maybe? Wouldnt ask for it tho

How do you typically feel after sex? Mostly affectionate and good, but w the last person i was with sometimes it seemed like they just wanted it over and done with so i would get kinda nervous and guilty over that,, idk

Do you like your body? Nah

Ever sent nudes? Yep

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yeah he was abusive

Have you ever been cheated on? Idk, maybe, wait i think the guy i cheated on tried saying he cheated on me too but idk if he was just trying to get back at me so

Would you have a threesome? If I trust the people sure

Would you have a foursome? Same as above

Would you take part in an orgy? Uhh idk maybe, same as above applies tho

Would you let’s train be ran on you? Again if I trust the people yeah sure

How often do you masturbate? Idk it really depends sometimes im really horny and its like daily maybe more than once a day and then sometimes i just dont for like. a while

Sex with the lights on or off? on.. how are u meant to see what ur doing otherwise sdjkhfs

Sex with music or tv in the background? Sure, idc really. Though i have a thing if its like.. kids stuff.........dont do that..........

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? wtf no

In your last relationships, rate the sex? Uhh... good? I mean, good at the time, though like i said sometimes felt a bit rushed, and that now makes sense and i have very mixed feelings on it but mostly guilt bc the person i was with has since said they werent really into it. so.

Do you sleep naked? Nah I at least have underwear on

How often do you go commando? Never

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? Nope

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? Uh, depends? Talking about it beforehand or even during can be good though. But i guess it doesnt have to be Right before it, it can be a bit in advance

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? Kiss.. touch,, etc,,

Do you make the first move? Um. w my ex i kinda had to bc as i said, i later found out they werent really into it. other than that i generally dont tho bc im very nervous abt all that, kinda especially after that discovery hdfbghf

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Nope

Do you like dryhumping ? Sure

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? Probably not

Have you ever been recorded during sex? No but I’ve had a dream abt being recorded sucking someones dick it was weird

Do you watch porn during sex? W. who does that. how can u focus on that. why would u watch sex when ur having sex skdjfhsjdk

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? Never had a one night stand

What’s your kink? Praise! Marking! Collars!

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? I don’t think i could have a hook up tbh so no

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? nope

How romantic are you during sex? uh.. idk havent rly had chance to try being romantic during sex but soft sex sounds v good imo

Describe your sex in 5 words or less. in my experience so far? nervous and kinda awkward

#god rip to my gf when every question i answer abt what its like having sex w me is just 'uh! awkward!' #Anonymous

[redspiderling]

Ok so im a trans myself. I didn't think it was bad when scarjo wanted to play a trans. Dont get me wrong I had problems get jobs and had a lot of people talk bad to me. But like she said, she is a actor and its her job. Also with her in the main role it would gain way more attention and its a good way to get people to talk about this. Now when I talk about that with other people they just say that the lgbt-community should chill.

Hi anon!

It’s really lovely to see people respond on tumblr with messages and I honestly appreciate it, even if it means I end up writing essay long replies xD

It’s undeniable that there is bias in the film industry. And outside of it. And I believe this is a complicated issue. There are 2 things to consider. First, what is an actor’s job, and then, what is the process of casting actors for roles.

Actors can be anyone, it’s in their job description, and thanks to modern technology, now they can be anything as well. Whether they should be anyone is up for debate. But there’s no right or wrong here. Some people believe that specific roles are meant for specific people, and some don’t. 

Those arguments are not between people who want equality and people who don’t, but between people who don’t share the same ideas as to how we will achieve equality as a society.

If you ask me, I think people should be allowed to be cast in any role. I don’t think casting trans people in trans roles would help the trans community any more than if you would cast trans people in any roles. 

The assumption that “if they’re not cast as trans they won’t be cast as anything” shows a lack of understanding over the craft of performance arts and over the process of casting. Not to mention that, as far as I’m concerned, equality doesn’t come in steps, it’s not like you can “start them easy” through type casting people for their identity, and then easing in to their humanity beyond that. Either you accept someone the way they are as your equal, or you don’t. There’s no middle ground. 

Another reason on why people should be cast in roles regardless of their race, gender identity, or sexuality, is the fact that stepping into another person’s shoes is the very core of what acting is about. Because through immersion and empathy, comes understanding. And by seeing someone as you would see yourself, as a performer and as a viewer, comes equality.

By the way, political correctness in arts is a double edge sword. Yes, it means you get a more proper portrayal of minorities, but it also means you restrict these minorities to “appropriate” roles once again. It’s just this time, instead of typecasting as the Evil Secondary Character, you typecast them as the Good Man Bystander. Gina Torres talked about this at an interview, from the perspective of someone who comes from a minority group, and she described it much more eloquently than I ever could.

Also, corporations seem to have taken this to heart and are abusing the cause to make money. For example, it has become popular to remake famous titles with female cast members. What that means for companies is that they can re-brand an existing product and make money. It also means they are making shitty movies because they don’t care about the content, since what they are selling is the female presence. Does that educate the masses on equality? No, what it does is getting them to “blame women for ruining our movies”. Completely stupid and ridiculous btw but it’s a negative byproduct of this latest fashion, a fashion that I don’t personally see as entirely right or wrong.

And since we reached corporations, lets talk money.

There are different types of film making. There’s corporate, and there’s indie. In indie productions, all bets are off. We’re doing this for the art, so we care about the message, the content, what we give out to the world. Corporate means money.

The Hollywood Star ticket is dying. What I mean is, at this day and age, the idea that an actor or an actress can carry a movie to the theatres with their name on the title alone is no longer an option for the most part. 

Once upon a time people would flock to the movie theatres for Bogart, for Hepburn, etc. That’s not happening anymore. Having said that, there are still a few names that grab people’s attention. Scarlett’s is one of them.

It has been said many times before, that when a production company decides to produce something outside its safe zone, they need to know they’ll get their money back somehow. One surefire way to get an edgy (for corporate productions’ standards) script to production is by bringing in the big guns. People were saying “well, trans actors need to start from somewhere, if they want to be cast in this way themselves”. Yes, they do need to start from somewhere, but that somewhere is not, and never has been, risky productions. It’s indie films. 

Also, I don’t see why a future trans actor superstar should be instantly assumed as the go-to for trans roles. I don’t think they would appreciate being called in whenever Hollywood needs a trans representative.

Anyway, to close this endless reply, at this time in the world, Rub and Tug would never be produced without ScarJo. And it didn’t. Is that fair? For me as a potential viewer, no, I’d like to see that film regardless of the actor as long as they were good for the job. For the people putting the money in? Perhaps. If I were investing millions of dollars I would want some assurance as to whether or not that investment will be proven fruitful. 

And make no mistake, this has nothing to do with equality. It has to do with a studio taking a risk and producing a script that would have never seen the light of day if not for the cast that would carry it into the theatres.

#I am so sorry this end up being so long #whenever I'm trying to put thoughts in words I take ages making my case #ANONS #messages #Scarlett Johansson #she could be more cardboard cut and make my life easier #I would like her less but still #life would be easier #the same vent

[kireiscorner]

I need help Do you have any tips on drawing female bodies?

1) Take half of what you've learned from anime and throw it out the window.

2) Take every male expectation of women and YEET that shit. Ask girls what makes them feel good, observe people around you, and start pulling from women in real life. I cannot tell you how excited my first animation teacher was that I drew women with muscle mass. Like, the dude outright thanked me in front of the entire class and then went on a tangent about how women have muscles too. Women have so many body types, research the look you want.

3) DO NOT SACRIFICE FEMININE FEATURES! I get it; some of you will be creating trans or agender characters, but keep in mind anatomy and how it works. And by that I mean the way their bone structure and such works. It's more realistic and easier to identify with when people can see their identity there than completely wiping out their journey. Looking more feminine but not identifying as a female does not change the fact that they identify differently. It's just how their body is and you dont need to wipe that evidence to make your point. I know trans ppl who still have feminine feature who identify as male or agender. Its normal??? That's real life, pull from real life.

4) Avoid giving stereotypical features where you can. THAT INCLUDES SLIM THICC AND BIG BOOBS. Not all latina and black women are thick. We dont all have thick lips and big noses or kinky hair. Fuck that. Yes there are common features between races but not always. My mom has a short upturned nose, I have a long bridge and bubble nose, and my Puerto rican cousin has a wide short nose. Pull from real life, but stay true to your character too. Have MULTIPLE refs, at least 7 or so to give you more variety. This includes for body types, lips, noses, eye shapes, etc. Cause I cant count how many times in hs I've seen ppl get mad when different Latinos or Asians got mad for being said another Latino or Asian was the same or that Africans and Blacks look the same or all white people look alike. Theres so much variety in the world, use it. God created it all for a reason. Feed that artistic brain yo.

5) Look to what in real life age groups wear. We dont wear uniforms, overly fashionable color scheme oriented outfits, or model wear. Think about what shapes look good on certain shapes. Think about where they're from, why they're dressed a certain way; again, avoid stereotypes. Not all black girls need to be dresses to be super ethnically-coded. I wear leather skirts, pajama pants, and yoga pants just like every other girl. We all like to be cute but we also like to be comfortable too! Sometimes we dont wanna dress up and sometimes we wanna give aphrodite a run for her money. We dont all wear makeup of have piercings. Anyone can inherit moles, freckles, etc. not just certain races.

6) Figure out personalities first if you can. A lot of times this can determine how a girl does their hair, makeup or no makeup, clothing style, etc. Their personality is very important and can also effect posture and gestures too.

7) PRACTICE. PRACTICE ANATOMY. PRACTICE WITH VARIOUS BODY TYPES. TAKE FIGURE DRAWING CLASSES IF POSSIBLE IT HELPED ME SO MUCH.

8) One thing I constantly see is ppl thinking theres one way certain types of women look or can act. Like, short hair and "boyish" tendencies means ur gay. Feminine traits mean you're weak and soft. Girls who dont have interest in love are bitchy or gay. That's bullshit. Maybe shes content not having a partner, maybe she doesnt need one. Shes no bitch she just dont want you. Characters dont have to date, esp female characters to be an important woman. WE EXIST. There are very feminine, super girly, cuddly cute gay women. THEY EXIST. There are short haired straight women. Draw them. THEY EXIST. Break barriers, your character is yours and if you want a buff, tall, bisexual long haired goddess who believes all clothing must be made of lace do you boo. If you want a character who is lanky as hell, bald, and killer spicy mama go for it. Draw her too, shoot. Draw all the girls.

9) Everyone has different versions of sexy. Boobs and ass hanging out isnt everyone's sexy. Sexy doesnt mean sloppy, sexy doesnt mean turning the character into a prop. Respect your characters plz! You dont know who will see it and who u can influence.

10) DONT LET PPL TELL YOU REAL LIFE WOMEN DONT LOOK LIKE WOMEN THATS DUMB

And those are kireis main rules for drawing women. The most helpful thing is pulling from real everyday life, I promise you. That, and knowing women know our bodies best so we're gonna give you experienced answers. Hope this helps even tho I'm high key ranting lol

[goliathandgaze]

Seeing Is Loving

(art by @andrhomeda [please dont make me take this down for literally like,,, two calendar days its for a class final and no one will see it but you do great work thanks for being rad])

There is a unique sense of loss that comes from looking in the mirror and not seeing yourself. You don’t lose identity. That isn’t something the mirror could ever show you, and it doesn’t take being trans for someone to tell you that. Your personhood is not defined by your weight, your hair, your skin, your body. What we lose with our unrecognition, rather, is faith. Faith that we exist. We are told over and over again that seeing is believing. So who are we, if we cannot see who we know to be ourselves?

We are what others see.

Now you may be thinking, “Hey Casper, that sounds hella problematic, you’re really gonna go right out the gate with ‘we are what others see?’ What if I don’t express my gender in the same way as I identify. If someone looks butch to me, does that mean because I think they look a certain way they are then confined to that label of sexuality? What the hell?” And that would be fair. So I’ll take the time to answer some questions that will become really relevant here

What does it mean to be seen?

What does it mean to be known?

Technically these terms have very similar definitions. Both mean, in a sense, to perceive something or someone. One more visibly than the other, but as mentioned above, we always hear that seeing is believing, and then, what is believing if not knowing something to be true? To see something, to really see it, in the italicized and romanticized version of the word, is synonymous with knowing it. Think of a particularly bad argument with a friend or partner, or maybe just the last cheesy romantic comedy you saw. When we say we want to feel seen, or that we want to be heard, it really means we want to be known. To be fully understood.

A new definition: We are what others know us to be.

Physically seeing me, I am honestly not sure how most people process my appearance. I wrote, a while back, “I cannot tell if people see me as a boy or girl when they look at me anymore or if I just look small.” Of course, my personhood isn’t ‘small’, and my gender isn’t ‘small.’ But those who know me know who I am, and I can have faith in that being because they know it to exist.

Now, what does this mean in regards to gender and sexuality? I know that I exist because others know that I exist.  In this sense, the ‘I’ can be swapped out for a multitude of other variables. For example, I know that I am male because others know me to be male. I know that my pansexuality exists because others know my pansexuality to exist. While I can know these things intrinsically, it is because others can react to them that I can be sure they exist. This is what it means to have a visible or social identity. Not that others need to see them in order for them to exist, but rather that if I spent my life existing in a darkened room by myself, there would be no reason for them, because I would simply be myself. In Imitation and Gender Insubordination, Judith Butler states that “gender is a kind of imitation for which there is no original” (Butler, 82). There are a thousand and one ways to unpack that quote. But to me, the idea is that gender is real and meaningful, but in isolation, it serves no purpose. We cannot have a concept of gender without an ingroup to imitate and an other to distance ourselves from. Alone, what would gender be, except another word for the being we know to be ourselves?

In Visible Identities: Race, Gender, and the Self, Linda Alcoff discussed the belief that “if race and gender could be divested of their purported visible attributes, they might be transformed to better reflect people’s subjective sense of themselves -- their actions, choices, their humanity -- rather than mere physical attributes that were accidents of birth” (Alcoff, 103). Alcoff goes on to argue that visible characteristics do serve a purpose, and in a sense, help define our own internal perceptions of identity as well. I don’t mean to argue against that, and I can only ever speak from my own personal experience (but what is academia, really, if not yelling your personal experience into the void as if it were universal?). But I don’t really see why the two things have to be mutually exclusive. Don’t we want, more than anything, to be able to be seen as the people we are? And is that inherently opposed to the body that we live in? In a world of ideals, wouldn’t our humanity be able to be seen at the same time as our physical being, in addition, as a part of, and entwined? If I reject my body as having been ‘born with the wrong one,’ aren’t I in a sense rejecting it as mine? If I am male and known by others to be male, is that not both my humanity and my form? I am both. I am all. To be seen as male is one thing. To be known as a whole ideal is another.

(art by @jo-crimes [hello yes please don’t make me take this down for like,,, two whole human days, your art is amazing and I really appreciate your work and am using it for a class assignment,,, you’re really doing the best thanks])

“And I am in love, still. And I am love, still.  And I try to think of how all these things can exist at once.  And I land on the answer. I am in multiple places at once.  I refuse not to believe this is a superpower.” - Taliesin Grey, Encyclopedia

A new definition: We are the whole that others know us to be.

In class, we were asked to think about Alcoff’s idea of a horizon as “the individual or particular substantive perspective that each person has, that makes up who that person is, consisting of his or her background assumptions, form of life, and social location or position within the social structure and hierarchy” (Alcoff, 96). Essentially, our horizon is the view we have looking out on the world inherent to our position, just as reflective of who we are as it is of how we see the world. We were tasked to draw ourselves and our horizons. It was an easy premise. Make a stick figure of yourself and write the words looking out of how you perceive the world around you based on your identity. Students wrote family closest to their heads if that was important to them, put female in the distance if it didn’t have an impact on their lives, and layered race and sexuality in various forms depending on how it impacted their perception of themselves. All of our drawings looked different, because of course they did. We all see the skyline differently based on our perspective. 

I sat and stared at mine for Far Too Long. I suddenly couldn’t think of how I ordered the puzzle pieces that became my being, all I knew was that when I zoomed out, they made a picture of me. I’d never identified enough with any of the labels I’d associated with myself to connect them with my personhood. I knew I was a poet because I loved poetry. I knew I was a son because I loved my mother. I knew I was a person capable of enormous love because I loved my partner. But I didn’t know what order it fell in, whether “poet” counted as an identity, and how I felt about the words that were used to describe the categories I fell into. I couldn’t think, suddenly, if there were any aspects of my identity that directly reflected my capability for love.

(Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden)

I sat down and drew an elaborate picture of myself to buy time. Of how I saw myself. Of how others saw me. Of what others knew me to be. Of the whole that I am.

At the top of the page, the peak of my horizon, I scribbled “Casper” in yellow marker. My sun. Not just my name, but myself. I chose Casper for myself, as a title for the being I was, and the being I was in the midst of becoming, and the being I would continue to be. All I could think in the end was that, if nothing else, Casper was a marker of who I was as a whole. Of who I would be in a darkened room by myself just as much as who I am as a male in love with people of all genders. It was all that I was, in the fewest amount of syllables.

A final definition: On the edge of the horizon there is my name. That is all. There is nothing more to say.

[papa-rhys]

Hi- i saw all he hate your getting and im rather new to your blog. I was just wondering if its possible to explain what they mean when your 'racist' 'homophobic' and 'transphobic'? Im genuinely curious cuz i dont see what they mean by that? If you dont want to explain dont worry about it lmao! Im just curious lmao!

Hey, welcome! Sorry you’re having to put up with this!

The racism thing comes from two things and they’re both nonsense lmao. The first one is a joke I made months ago about one of my favourite characters growing old. He was 19-20 in the first game and the second game was due to be released and he would have been almost 40 in that one and I made a joke about how I’d rather him not survive the events of the first game than have him be middle aged in the second game. The reason people said it was racist was because he happened to be native american. His race wasn’t mentioned in the joke at all, neither was anything else other than his age, but some jerk off figured they were doing the world some kind of justice by calling me a racist I guess. (Turns out they were friends with someone who already had a problem with me though, so I’m pretty sire they just set it up together out of pettiness lmao) The second reason why I’m apparently a Big Bad Racist is because I write Javier as being flirtatious or sexual. Apparently people think that’s racist because it’s a stereotype of latino people, so me writing fanfic where he’s flirty is really offensive to latino people. Not really sure if they know how fanfic works, but it usually has to include some kind of flirting in order to get to the sex bit so maybe they shouldn’t read it if they’re so afraid of characters having sex or flirting with people. Idk just my opinion lmao,

The only thing I know to do with homophobia is a few months back people got angry with me because I don’t write male x male fanfic. I don’t write it because I’m a girl who doesn’t get any enjoyment or interest out of male on male sex, so I wouldn’t be able to do a good job and I wouldn’t be motivated to work on a fic that was about it, but people just went ahead and ignored my reasoning and decided that I was just homophobic for not doing what they wanted me to do, even though I’m bi and have had more girfriends than boyfriends, so I clearly don’t have any problem with people having sex or being with the same gender.

The transphobic thing was from a year ago, where some well-known trouble causers started a fight with me based on me not headcanoning a certain character as being trans. That was literally it. I just didn’t think the character was trans, so that apparently made me transphobic. They told me (and other people that they were fighting with at the time) to die, kill myself, delete my blog. They’d post edited pictures of people’s icons or urls in really nasty ways and make horrible memes with people’s icons and spread them around among themselves. All the usual low-life bully stuff. They were really well known in multiple fandoms  for being really nasty and malicious to people for no reason other than they found it fun. They picked fights with a bunch of people on over the course of those couple of days and I just got included in that because I was there at the time I guess. 

Overall, I think it comes down to the attitude that tumblr has of “if you feel something, then you’re inherently right and anyone who tells you otherwise is the enemy.” Which is completely false, but tumblr is largely made up of teens and teens are very impressionable, so when other teens or even adults say to them “hey, you don’t have to respect people who have different opinions and you can react to things as dramatically as you want because if you feel offended then you’re automatically in the right and they’re in the wrong” then those teens start to wallow in their feelings and start to genuinely believe that anything they say or do to someone online is justified because the person they’re attacking has a different view so they’re inherently deserving of it. It’s total bullshit and it’s the reason a lot of the world is seemingly at war with each other these days (ie: liberals vs republicans) because nobody takes time to get to know anyone beyond the “you don’t agree with me on this, so I’m shutting all conversation down and never speaking to you again.” The real world is guilty of it too, and so are other corners of the internet, but nowhere is anywhere near as guilty of misleading and giving false entitlement to today’s youth as much as tumblr is. But that’s just my two cents, sorry to bombard you with all this text haha!

#iconicheartthrob

[teddy-feathers]

okay so. weird pref but.

id honestly love this vs anything being professionally done... because tv would focus on all the wrong things and movie wouldnt love it enough to make it come to life

shoddy quality - not professionally done is what i mean but taken seriously in that yes outside is taken outside and such - youtube series for the name of the wind.

and Kvothe is playd by a trans man and denna trans woman and no we dont bring attention to it thats just who i want cast period dot exclamation point thats important to me for some reason and he and the rest of the characters are about as diverse as a thing can get. none of this tokenism none of this oh but kvothe is a red head - look hair dye exsits and so do natural reds and blonds of races other than white - and non of this "well the character is supposed to be"

denna as the most gorgeous woman to kvothe and described and focused on and yet mysterious even then as her description absolutely cannot be nailed down except vaguely such as she... cannot be skinny. she must be plus size.

but the camera must not only behave as if denna is whenever on the screen the most beautiful woman on the screen, she must be favored without slighting other women to do so - the other woman are also beautiful but the camera ( but kvothe ) does not love them the same way. cannot

im almost tempted to say that whenever denna is in the scene she is the focus of the camera ' maybe even to the point where we see her as though from kvothe's prespective as though this is a different movie entirely whenever she enters the scene.

anyways those are my thoughts ive been collecting on the manner thus far.

the only character i might accept straight off the bat with a preference towards being white is the chronicler for reasons - though educated and even clever he feels superior but is ignorant and makes several blunders to prove it

this is not an attack this is about... im tired. im tired of seeing the same things. and the name of the wind is poetry in many parts and that doesn't need to be turned into shock and awe or the same story we've seen so many times.

i dont want you to tell someone with your lighting and your music and your over the top push- this is sad you should feel bad for him.

i want it to be sudden and then swiftly pushed to the side as the man himself presses on with the story- i refuse to tell anymore while youre giving me that look he tells bast... and then goes outback and cries but its hardly mentioned as we skip to the next part of the story.

only that gets harder each tragedy.

and yes there is magic and fighting but we dont linger or make it gratuitous - and the magic itsself is almost painfully mundane.

its kvothe the actor at the heart of it all carrying the drama of the story and breathing life into it - so the medium itself must reflrct that. and i feel like the people who love things amd put them on youtube would ruin the spirit of the thing less.

#the name of the wind #kvothe kingkiller #what the wise man fears