#something that was kind of bothering me

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕 #origibberish #bigger gibbers

[jestroer]

Artist rendition of me listening to Fish In A Birdcage's new song for the first time today

#usually that kinda thing doesnt bother me at all. but like. it wasnt something i was expecting to hear okay #and we were all close and personal in the subway cause it was the time everybody gets off work #a combination of factors that made me feel a kind of way #shitpost

[notachair]

Since atla is again having an extra surge of popularity, I'm shooting my shot:

[ID: (Rest of image description in alt). At the bottom of the image sits the text: "Zuko: Okay. Well, I can't remember how it starts, but the punchline is "leaf me alone, I'm bushed."" ID end].

Did we ever find out what the setup for this joke was? I feel kinda haunted by it. If not- anyone wanna make their best or worst guesses?

edit: I now know what "I'm bushed" mean, but go ahead anyway 👍

haunted thoughts in tags ↓

#atla #the way I was early out for this next surge in popularity 🤗 I was in a different phase by 2020 #it's not like it haunts me day and night but it does bother me thinking back on it. please tell me I'm not the only one 🧍‍♂️ #I'll have to reblog the 'closure is a myth' post jk #what kind... of joke is it? leaf pun on leave i get. I'm bushed however I dont get. it implies the punchline sayer is a bush at least I #think. but what prompts the 'i am bushed' I dont get. is it not contextual? is it a phrase ive not connected like 'leaf me alone'? #is there anotger layer between leaf and bush? again what kind of joke (social:joke purpose. what is funny? only pun?) + (in-joke set up)? #is it about the kind of bush it is? is it between two plants? the plant & someone picking on the plant like a teamaker collecting? #is it about a plant that has grown into bush and thus (somethingsomething)?? is it not a plant at all? other elements? iroh *what*. #if the creators actually had a setup in mind- I fear it will be lame. but yet I am haunted #it must have cracked someone up for him to try relay it. (set in term of endearment here) 🧍‍♂️👈 *poking him* #either way. me 🤝 zuko @ being bad at remembering & relaying jokes 😁👍 #at least in that instance anyway #I mainly stick to irony & sarcasm. running along with an mistaken assumption or replying w something silly & blowing it out of proportions. #puns if I'm lucky. ect. fun when I can reference it later tho I try not to overdo it. not like I'll likely remember it for too long anyway #now to lay in wajt see if anything happens.... #avatar the last airbender #zuko #atla zuko #a:tla #my rambles #its lie and not lay is it not.....

[anglerflsh]

wow ive been kind of off lately I should take a day to rest an[explosion]

#[.art] #self #complaining tag #I'm good. I needed to draw about it but I'm good. it's fine. whatever #love it when I barely ask you for money to Live outside of gifts and 30 a month. and then you withold the gift SOMEONE ELSE GAVE ME #that's fine it's totally not as if I told you I need that money before. and you decided I was a bit too mean #about you compiling a document I Need To in order to keep the room and board in the place I am living in. by the way #she proceeded to change topic completely to the weather and forget about anything ive told her on the clothes I have here #or about the courses I follow. she takes notes for my sister's classes but cannot be bothered to remember i dont have exams in april #that's fineeee it's fine. it's fine. I know my sistser needs the help and I don't. I would rather die than ask for her help anyways #you can at least pretend to forget about both of us equally instead of telling me I should graduate in two years because im smart enough #which I am not. by the way. At least when I will fail at something I'll have the opportunity to tell her I told you so thank god #dont get me wrong i know her giving me compliments is a good thing I just sort of wish the were things actually about me #and not about the idea she has about me being some kind of prodigy that's simply too lazy to actually be exceptional. anyways

[risingsunfish]

dang ol' FEH dragging me out of retirement for one last dumb Splatoon crossover with these guys

#fire emblem #fe3h #feh #flayn #seteth #splatoon #judd #lil judd #fe heroes #fe16 #fódlan #halloween #kind of bummed they didn't get a duo halloween alt #though it makes me wonder which of them begged the alt-deciding-council to exempt seteth #i know y'all probably wanted him to be a sexy dracula or something #but in my book? if he's not in a big dumb novelty mascot suit don't even bother

[humanmorph]

"This is a message to you, who listens. You must trust me, because we are friends. You just don't know it yet. "

(The Road to PARTIZAN 05 : Ech0 & dusk to midnight)

currently halfway through PARTIZAN (making my way towards palisade extremely slowly. see u guys there in a month or two) & this is to date my favourite intro Austin has done. what an great introduction to an extremely cool character

#Partizan #road to partizan #friends at the table #fatt #gur sevraq #ive been wanting to draw something for that intro ever since i first heard it but i didnt. even know who gur sevraq was at that point. #but its been On My Mind #rosa art #im fairly happy with this i had a lot of fun coming up w the composition. it felt like a puzzle bc i knew what i wanted... #the lineless artstyle is something ive been trying out more and it doesnt come easy but it is fun. (so many layers.....) #you can zoom in for details because. ofthe person i am i always have to add little lines everywhere #well i usually write kind of a lot in the tags but ive been drawing for 5 hours nonstop. my brains kind of wiped. #i havent taken my walk yet so. i will now do that #...usually id listen to more partizan but millenium break is. literally not relaxing and i need to chill a bit #might put on the new bluff. #oh one more thing every time i relisten to that intro i do a little ME? gesture i hear that first line. its fun to me #edit: ok i moved the text slightly it was bothering me ! #probably noone else will notice.

[obsessive-dumpling]

I have reread MHA multiple times. And chapters with good bkdk content, forget about, I can't even tell you how many times I have scrutinized each panel. So explain to me why I am just now seeing this:

Katsuki starts spitting up blood when he tries to reach Izuku in the hospital.

That's all. I'm just gonna leave this here and let you all stew on that.

Bonus thought: Reminds me an awful lot of Izuku leaving the hospital, not fully healed, to go find Katsuki when the LOV kidnaps him.

#bakudeku #bkdk #its the desperation for me #when katsuki commits to something he gives his all #and boy oh boy he is commited to izuku #it kind of bothers me that their friends dont see whats actually happening in the scene #horikoshi and his details...am i right? #katsudeku #decchan #dekubaku #bnha #mha #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #katsuki x izuku #bakugou x midoriya #bkdk canon #countdown to the end #dumplings thoughts

[flickering-nightfall]

A karma flower sways gently in the dark~

#rain world #cooling down from working on 3D stuff by....... doing more 3D stuff #there is something bothering me about this model. You can't really see its details in this video since it's lower res #there's nothing WRONG with it but it bothers me anyways #I think I want some kind of shader on it #but I'm not sure what exactly. I know little about shaders in general #oh well. I just did this for fun anyways #and animating it was fun #wiggle bones didn't work well on this the way I set it up #...though it occurs to me I could have tried cloth physics! meh it looks fine anyways #I want to make an overseer and see if it works out on their cute lil arms #video #flickerdoodles

[justewil]

hey google how do i kill this guy

uahh little doodle of desmond .the colouring took longer than it should have because i was silly with it . it is nearly 2am .Enjoy

#i hate him #<- guy who named himself after him .Kind Of #arts #stuff i made #professor layton #desmond sycamore #professor layton fanart #fanart #something looks Off about him but i cant figure out What #its .bothering me now

[all-thestories-aretrue]

There are many jokes floating around the shadowgast nation about the nature of Caleb and Essek's relationship (eggplants and winky faces abound), and most of them are good natured and perhaps true (eventually or at some point). I find most of them entertaining and sweet, but some of what I have stumbled across post-reunion have highlighted that it's only a joke up to a certain point to me.

Please keep in mind that everything in this post is my opinion and my opinion only. I'm not asking that anyone agree with me. This post is mainly for me because I felt like I needed to make it.

I have seen several comments/posts/tags in many different places talking about Essek and Caleb and that scene in the reunion, and describing it as horny or saying they can't keep their hands off each other or following up that conversation with sexual intimacy. I know a lot of these comments or conversations are not malicious or ill-intentioned, and I understand that people are excited for the first new content in nearly 2 years.

But, one thing I have appreciated about Critical Role is the variety of sexuality and genders represented, including various asexual and aromantic identities. Essek is confirmed by Matt on Twitter to be demi (romantic or sexual is unclear to me so it could be taken as either. If anyone has any other sources I would greatly appreciate them). As someone who identifies as aspec, I deeply appreciate the representation that Critical Role has given me.

The shadowgast scene in the reunion was not sexual to me. It's only been six months since the end of c2, which granted, I have not completed yet. As of this writing, I am in the middle of episode 133. Whatever is going on between Caleb and Essek is still very new, especially for two people who thought they would never have love. An aspect of being demi is that it takes time and closenes and a strong emotional bond for romantic and/or sexual feelings to develop. Six months, to me, feels like an incredibly short time for those feelings to take root for Essek even if he is on the path of developing them.

Seeing people make light of Essek's sexual attraction or feelings for Caleb or treat them as common place or casual, even innocuously, has made me feel as though this aspect of Essek really is ignored or forgotten about sometimes. Not by everyone nor, I would even doubt, the majority. Maybe not intentionally or maliciously or maybe it's a lack of understanding about demisexuality or aspec identities.

This is a feeling I have had for a while, and I mean this about nothing in particular but rather a sum of the parts I have encountered over the months.

In addition, I think Essek's sexuality can be overshadowed by how sexual Caleb can be/is. He makes comments throughout the entirety of the campaign that directly or indirectly reveal his sexuality, and that part is clearly important to him, even if he has not acted on it in a very long time.

I am not saying that Essek is NOT sexually attracted to Caleb or that their relationship does not involve sex at some point or at the time of that scene. I do think, at the very least, that Caleb and Essek would have a conversation about it as some point, and I find it likely it would turn sexual. At the very least, Caleb is attracted to Essek. Liam has confirmed that. I would guess those feelings are a combination of romantic, sexual, platonic, etc.

But I cannot imagine, and again this is my opinion, that feeling sexual attraction or acting on it for the perhaps first or second, maybe third time, is not a life-altering moment for him, let alone acting on it. From what see of his character, he's extrmely gaurded, extremely lonely, extremely shameful. Showing his emotions and attraction to Caleb, or to anyone really, is an extreme show of trust and vulnerability, and I don't think it should be taken lightly.

Treating it, at least in those early months, as though it is common or casual, something taken for granted, feels, to me, as though it undermines the importance and gravity of Essek's feelings, whatever they may be. Further, it undermines aspec identities, relegating them to sidelines if it is even acknowledged at all. I feel as though a lot of the jokes ignore Essek's demisexuality and how integral it is to how he builds relationships and interacts with people.

As someone who is aspec, I find it disheartening to see these sort of jokes and offhand comments being circulated about a character who is confirmed, canon aspec whose identity centers on deep bonds that take time to develop. Applying sexual under/overtones to scene where a small chaste kiss and an innocent pet name are shared feels like, in a way, a forced sexualization of a new, developing relationship that may never turn sexual.

There is such little aspec representation in media, and Critical Role does a fantastic job of showcasing a variety of aspec identities which is so, so rare. To turn around and have the fandom ignore or disregard these identities (intentional or not) that the cast and crew work hard to incorporate feels bad. It makes me feel as though I still have to fight for my identity to be seen and understood by people who, theoretically, support and want to understand and respect various identities, who claim to love Essek and Caleb and their relationship. It hurts.

I have spent a lot of time convincing myself that I and my sexuality belong in the queer community, that I deserve to have a voice, that I deserve to be respected and heard. With my feelings about Essek and his demisexuality, I didn't feel right standing by any longer and remaining silent when these portrayals were bothering me.

I am not asking anyone to change their opinions, to agree with me, to change the fic they write, the art they draw. The Critical Role fandom is beautiful and amazing and absolutely incredible. I have met so many kind, caring, wonderful people since joining. It's an experience unlike any other. But, I needed to make this post for me and anyone else who was feeling like me.

#critical role #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #mighty nein reunited #mighty nein #cr2 #oh boy am i inviting the disk horse by posting this??? #probably 😬😬😬 #but this is something that has been bothering me for a few months and the reunion just confirmed it #please be kind if you choose to interact #this is not meant to be mean or ill intentioned toward anyone #i just needed to get it off my chest #if one other person who feels similar sees this posting it will be worth it #i understand my own experiences heavily influence my opinions here #but really the cr fandom overall has been so welcome and wonderful and kind #its been amazing! #thank u for reading this long ass post if you make it to the end #oh boy i am nervous about posting this #which is exactly why i feel like i should post it

[ccarrot]

okay this is a very personal hot take but i genuinely don't believe dazai is as self destructive as he may seem.

#this is going to be a rant/vent here in the tags but #there's something abt some dz character studies. they really make a point of like... thinness. lack of eating. it bothers me a lot #i actually don't think he's like. actively starving or whatever. maybe his appetite come in waves. sometimes when u don't feel hungry at al #you end up not eating until it's wayy too late then you might eat too much bc u feel that hungry. then instantly regret it. #and then skip the next couple of meals #idkkk i've struggled with disordered eating. i don't like how callously its treated. it often seems kind of.. glamourized #i hate that. #in general dz seems like a glamorized character within the fandom. partly bc he's very pretty and simultaneously broken and self destructiv #** in my personal view based on personal experience** #don't reference my tags btw

[aquanutart]

When she was a little Kiko, Lulu loved to put on ribbons and appear before the world to show her precious Slorg! Sadly her owner was such a recluse that nobody noticed much, and over the years she forgot performing for others...

Until recently she found all the ribbons she saved over the years and wanted to have fun again!

(She didn't know which ribbon to wear, so she is wearing them all!)

(Lulu won a trophy!!! She is absolutely delighted and is using it to store her ribbons!)

#neopets #neoart #kiko #slorg #lulu #aquanutart #sorry to repost this! i really wanted to tell the story but i was kind of nervous to mention the bc (this is NOT in any current contest!) #so this is a little picture i made last year now that she is pink! #when i was 11-ish i used to enter her in the beauty contest with tiny pixel scribbles #in some of them she was pink and wearing a hairbow (although there were no wearables back then) #the filesize limit back then was something like 19kb so i shrank them down to like 150x150px #(i didn't know any other way to reduce the filesize) i was too young to use the boards and didn't do any advertising at all #i would check back excitedly every week and be disappointed to not get a trophy but then make a very similar scribble and enter again #finally one time she won a third place trophy because i think only three kikos were entered that week #i felt complete after that #it was always her dream to be pink and show people her slorg #so last year after all this time i entered again because i realized it gives me motivation to draw my own pets #that i otherwise don't really draw and i felt kind of sad people don't really know them #i don't like competition so i decided i was just going to treat it as a chill social event and not bother trying to win #just treat it as the way of posting or sharing content on the site itself #it was fun and social! as someone who's pretty reclusive it was fun feeling like i was getting to know other pets #everyone was super nice and the supportive community feeling between artists was really fun! love getting excited about each other's work!! #since then i've entered a few more times and i have mixed feelings about it because i get absolutely exhausted from it #because unfortunately the competition aspect does take hold of me even when i don't want it to rofl. i feel like i have to try my hardest #if it were just an art competition i probably wouldn't enter but because it's mostly a social competition i spend hours on the chat #it's a massive burst of socialization for a week and then afterwards i disappear and don't reply to messages for. months rofl #it's fun to do once in a while but i can't handle it too often. but i am happy to end up with more pictures of my pets #she has a few trophies now and can put a ribbon in each one!

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

#bruh lmao #so awkward. say something you dingus lol #ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already #gyatt #spacie spoinks #literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like #heres the thing #if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate #im like a vampire like that #and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now #like dude sdkfjshlkdfj #im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic) #am i gonna hafta say something. lol #probably #''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.'' #cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭 #also like. this person has been staring at me lol #which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful #for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!! #its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks #im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin #i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs #i dont wanna put her on the spot #the only time i see her is when im in class #and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd

[tofixtheshadows]

Inside of me are two wolves.

One really loves the way the fandom moniker "Kabru of Utaya" sounds and how it gives Kabru the dignity of a full name, and how it connects him to his past.

The other knows that "[x] of [location]" is canonically the dwarven cultural naming practice and thus Kabru would never go by it in canon.

#THIS BOTHERS ME SO MUCH.... #Kabru #babe. we have GOT to get you a last name. #this is such a potentially painful subject to think about especially postcanon #he's got like ... an official role in government. does he have to sign documents? be announced in court? #like “[x] of [location]” is such a common western fantasy trope and also existed in real life #so naturally we as fans just kind of fill it in ... but Kui had to decide that dwarves do that specifically #so I know that in-universe it would be off the table. like a white person taking a Japanese name or something. #especially when. again. you are a royal advisor. real political blunder territory. #I need to explore this in a fic for real #Dungeon Meshi #posting for one as usual

[megah3rz]

y was gen so unfazed when he woke up from the stone. naked and staring down a cliff, nonetheless. what kinda prank shows were u a part of that this isn't out of the realm of possibility

#i know it's kind of running gag that no one (except joel) reacted normally to waking up from petrification lol but #but gen? #TBF he got a bit... idk flanderized? as the manga wrnt on #reduced to over the top reactions for quite a while #so maybe explains it lol #since im already ranting; the more chibified art style is cute and all but i miss the early style... #maybe it was just a bit too detailed for a weekly manga so i get it. but i liked it better... #am i mostly saying this because gen looked way cooler in the beginning? yeah morw or less lol #i love the softer cuter gen too but the more edgy look was so good... #me when i get obsessed with something: criticizes everything about it for hours and then says i love it tho. lots of potential #i really could go on for hours about all the things that bother me #but like. i can only do that because i care enough yknow?? #asagiri gen #gen asagiri #dr stone

[n7punk]

i know i've kind of talked around this stuff for... fuck, three years now? but idk, now it's getting closer to "resolving," i kind of want to talk about it. journal, get it off my chest, idk

i haven't really been specific about my health issues much because 1) privacy and 2) very complicated feelings on it, but feelings are becoming less complicated, so... yeah. privacy is still really important to me, but i have too many feelings about this to keep feeling like i'm silencing myself for some hypothetical... i dont even know what

tbf, if it had turned out to be anything else, i probably wouldn't be comfortable even making a vent post about it now. but it turned out to be. annoyingly simple. i've also got other stuff, physical disabilities and such i've been more candid about but still want to keep the specifics of private, but this is... very different.

long story short, during the pandemic i started experiencing Symptoms. i'm honestly not sure if/how much i have talked about what was wrong with me, because i don't remember... entire years, much at all. i know ive described it as my brain being on fire, but it's more like it instantly melted down and i was left with the aftermath for hours/days/weeks at a time. it really fucked with me emotionally to be fighting through that on top of the direct effects of the Symptoms. and, well, the problem was my brain (probably) so that tracks.

it turns out it was migraines. migraines that shared many symptoms with seizures, brain tumors, or pressure on the brain stem, but yeah. "just" "migraines." and, actually, we don't know that! but migraine medication is helping, so it's probably that and this is where i am, finally waking up these last few months (this summer of updates could Not have happened if it weren't for my new medication) and feeling both very frustrated with what i lost and relieved to not always have to deal with suddenly being unable to understand a sentence anymore.

it's not like. fixed. my brain is still going to burn sometimes. It seems to come in waves, like two bad weeks and then two good ones. we're not done trying to treat it now we know some stuff it's responsive to, but its not like it used to be, wildfires raging all day and my head wavering on my shoulders as i struggled just to read messages from my friends. i literally had an emote i would use to communicate when i couldn't communicate that everybody who knows me understands. i haven't even twitched since starting my new meds! well, like, uncontrollably. trust me, that's progress. i literally had to get a bigger bed so i could be safe in the middle of it when the fits were especially bad and i got twitchy.

uh so that was more story than i planned. really i just wanted to finally talk about what i've been experiencing (at least for the first time that i remember). honestly writing was the only thing that kept me sane while i was trapped inside my own malfunctioning brain. i don't know why it was one of the easiest things for me, when i couldn't even understand a full two sentences being said to me i could still - usually - write (again: i literally couldn't talk for like three of the days when i was writing and updating catcher daily), but i'm so grateful for it. and everybody who told me my stories helped you, or that you looked forward to them, or even just that you enjoyed them: you helped me right back, because you told me there was one thing i could still do, from a capability standpoint to having the ability to make any impact on the world when i was trapped at home. so thank you.

okay i'm done now. just. had to get that out

#i dont like being negative and im very much one of those bare your own shit people because i dont want to bother anyone #and have been living on a razor edge where i certainly couldnt help anyone else with their weight #but like. we're getting towards the victory stage (as close to one as these kinds of things have) so im ready to finally say how bad it was #ive wanted to talk about it a lot but something was always stopping me #(partly some vague but panicked ''what if'' related to sharing too much) #im tired of being held back and choosing to hold back. i want to move on. as much as my body will let me #mylife