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avathestarwarrior · 9 months

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i'm confused, whats making you think that were forgetting you? people are going to think your fine after time passes unless you want people to always think your in a constant state of something being wrong. you have to reach out for us to know, we cant read your mind.... i think you may have imposter syndrome… saying that were are are lying to you when we have nice things to say about your art and characters. like… deep down you think everyone is making up there care for you because you somehow dont believe you deserve it. like this comes from self hate. you but you have to remember, those are hateful thoughts that are sabotaging the love people do have for you, and is holding you back towards what uyo care about like your art.... Honestley? your art may not be the issue here.i think its your mindset and attitude. your going to need to learn to love yourself if you ever want to eccept that others do, or youll just push everyone away by calling us liars and rejecting genuine effort on our part this isntt meant to be an attack towards you but, it really needs to be said. people here has always been nice to a lot of people, no matter skill Thats probably why artists who suck more than you do at art are getting Interactions but you aret, which by the way is a really rude o say your friends suck like ahta. this attitude of yours could totally be why people arent talking with you ithink to the oc tournament a few moths ago when you kept saying i'm going to lose anyway and kept putting yourr self down the whole time that negativity makes others feel bad and just takes away the fun. i remember feeling bad myself when i had my main character participate because i knew you would beat yourself up over it and here you are doing the same with your art. is not selfish to want frind its not selfish to want to better art And no you shouldnt lie about how you feel just to make people happy But what is absolutly harmful is attacking yourself everytime it go quiet and putting those who care about you down. it makes it were those thoughts do become true, were people do start to not like you because you have no faith in them when they tried to work with you and even worse, it continued that cycle of self sabotage so its done again and again. that s your hiking As someone who thought i was a good friend of yours until seeing this i am hurt... . i want to keep folowing you but it hurts to being called a liar even after our character interactions in the past maybe take a step back and maybe work on yourself before bringing this up again. the problem isnt your art, it isnt others lying to you and it isnt YOU either... the problem is this mindset and negative attitude of yours that needs to be stopped if you want any hope in that changing, especially your freindships maybe work on improveing your art after yourself....

Thank you for this long ask/venting. I guess I was indeed being a bit selfish and just not trusting others. Maybe I should really change up my attitude after all. I'll try my best to just stop thinking negativily and to just "enjoy" art, not being pressured about it. Thank you again for this. But I think for now, all I need is a bit of a break. But like, IDK if I would like to take a break since I would realllly be behind all the updates of other characters and all, so yeah, I'll just be less active here. But don't worry, I'll still be posting random stuff! So yeah-

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where-is-francis · 5 years

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Opposites

Billy Hargrove x Male Reader

Request:

Prompt:

A/N: this is absolute shit I’m sorry. Hopefully I’ll either redo it or add on later?? Idk although I love Stranger Things I feel like I’m bad at writing for it because I didn’t get super super attached to the characters, or at least the older ones :(

TW: being big gay, hiding your relationship, being lowkey dumb (and boring, I’m not proud of this one), Billy smokes cause. It’s Billy.

They say opposites attract. And good God would that be an understatement.

Nothing about your life was abnormal in the eyes of watchful peers. You; the average boy in Hawkins, Indiana. So, how did somebody like you manage to find yourself hanging with the likes of Billy Hargrove and the other “bad boys” of the school?

You had to ask yourself the same question.

The group of boys with six-packs and leather clad backs wasn’t exactly where you thought you’d end up in high school, but nobody is ever really the same person they were when they near senior year. Sometimes change is necessary, but unexpected — yours was always the latter. And somehow the school fuckboy became your own little secret.

Neither you, nor him, could explain how it happened. Some dumb cliché from a movie, the bad boy and the soft boy. Billy was the taste of a root beer float, sounds of fast cars racing down the main, the intoxicating smell of old cigarettes against leather. That rousing California boy.

You, on the other hand, were the taste of pizza and Zotz*. The cool breeze at the end of the cul-de-sac. Bare feet against hot pavement, smell of chlorine from the pool. Nevertheless, you two were a force to be reckoned with. Nobody knew what went on behind the scenes, and that’s how it would stay.

Boys like him weren’t supposed to love boys like you.

“Lost in thought?” Only a certain voice could pull you from a trance like that.

“I guess you could say that,”

For a brief moment you locked eyes, the shrug that rolled from his shoulders asking for permission to sit down. You obliged, sliding over on the bench to make room. The blonde grits his teeth a bit, then decides to sit opposite you. His lunch tray hits the table, a jump being your only response. The smell of cigarette smoke and noise of the cafeteria is all that you notice.

“Where’s everybody else?” You quip.

He sighs and takes a bite from his sandwich. “I don’t know — lunch detention, probably? Fucking idiots…”

A few glances were sent out, looking to make sure nobody is watching. But ever since he moved, Billy was always being carefully spied on by everybody. You hunched forward, resting your elbows on the table in an attempt to get a bit closer. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes when he saw the big grin plastered on your face; you had been scheming and it was obvious.

“Now hear me out—”

“Whatever you’re about to say, the answer is no.” He replies sternly, stabbing a fork into his food.

“I can’t believe I said yes to this,”

The cool water dances over your (s/c) arms, a nice lighting coming from just below the surface. It’s dark out, the only light being that of the moon and from the pool. Billy locks his eyes on your form as you glide through the water with ease. Of course you wanted to sneak into the city pool before they drained it for the season. Normally, he’d be all for something like this, but it was nearly mid-September and achingly cold out. The clothes you once wore sat carelessly in a pile, right beside the other male. He sighed and crouched down, his face coming suspiciously close to your own.

“And what will we do if somebody catches us here?”

“Make a run for it—”

Something in his eyes tells you he’s not worried about that; more worried about if somebody saw you two together. His expression at that moment is hard to pinpoint. Annoyance? Lust? Excitement? It left you baffled, no more so than usual. With a few steps back he found a spot in one of the patio chairs, plastic creaking under the new weight.

“You’re not going to join me?”

“And then freeze to death when I get out? Pass,”

You rolled your eyes and then shifted to drive underneath the water. Waves and ripples formed gracefully, gliding softly with every movement. The slight chill in the pool was slightly worse than usual but you didn’t mind. In a quick downward motion you had been surrounded by it, causing bubbles to rise as you did the opposite. Billy watched from the side as your warped form sank lower and lower until finally rested on the bottom.

The view was otherworldly; somewhat spooky and ethereal — dark navy skies above softly disturbed by motion. The familiar sting of chlorine had made itself known but you couldn’t care less. Something about being at the bottom of a pool was just comforting. Perhaps it was the isolation, the pressure, the view, or the serenity — you didn’t know how to put it. A burning in your chest pleaded for you to surface again for air, so you did.

Billy tracked you, a fond smile and cigarette hung from his mouth. Nothing could compare to you in the moment, at least to him. He only hoped that one day maybe you’d accompany him in California. Just the thought of you coming up for air in the turquoise waves, hair slicked back, giant grin plastered across your face, was enough to keep him going.

“Are you done yet?” He groaned.

“Normally, you’re always up for breaking rules. Now you’re rushing me out of the pool we’re trespassing in?”

When you turned, a hand reached out for yours. You stared for a minute before he motioned slightly and prompted you to take it. He pulled you out skillfully, eyes never leaving your own. Cold air cocooned itself around your sopping wet figure, the feeling sending chills down your spine. In a frantic rush to get re-dressed you pulled your hand away, scrambling to the pile of clothes. The task of getting dress seemed much harder than it normally did, with everything wanting to cling and stick where it wasn’t supposed to.

The shiver from before was back again but this time as a trembling jaw. Everything about the scene was enough to make the other male laugh as he took a drag from his cigarette. You would’ve looked pretty hot in the moment, had you not been muttering profanities under your breath and shaking like a skeleton.

“Can we… go now?”

A thumb was placed over your bottom lip, rubbing back and forth.

“Aw, regretting the fun already?”

He met your eyes, inching in close enough to the point where you could practically taste the cigarette cloud in your own mouth. Shadows fell across his face beautifully, framing his features in all their glory. It was like something out of a movie. The brunette watched you pluck the stick from his mouth gingerly, then replacing its presence with your lips. It was over hastily, to the dissatisfaction of you both. You smirked, taking a slow drag then passing it back to him.

“You gonna take me home?”

A shrug was the only answer you received. No time was wasted trying to slip through the gates and into the parking lot. The single light post flickered slightly, adding to the half-romantic, half-ominous vibe. If only the midnight chill wasn’t so bad.

A shudder worked its way through your body, dampened clothes becoming even tighter as your boyfriend unlocked the car. Keys clambered in the distant, you were too focused on retaining heat. Semi-transparent breaths escaped your mouth, filling the air in the pale lighting.

Your gaze wandered over to the other male. He was slightly unamused at how dissociated you were, but never said anything. Instead, just balancing the cig in his mouth and pulling off the leather jacket.

“I guess you need it more than I do.”

#this is shit #im sorry #stranger things x male reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things #billy hargrove x male reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #x male reader #jaws writes

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mikkock · 5 years

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HELLO I ADORE YOUR OCS SO MUCH WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT KAI HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL "YOUR DAUGHTER CALLS ME DADDY TOO" DOUCHEBAG AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM

LBLMVBGK THANK U OMG love it when ppl like my kids, im a proud dad rn

ALSO wrow congrats on ur on point analysis, cause, that’s the Essence Of His Being (fun fact since i got two characters who go by the name of kai -cause fuck that basic writing tip that says ‘dont have two characters named the same thing- i usually refer to him as The Bad Kai cuz he a bad bitch)

so lets unwrap that dude shall we uwu

SO this dude was created when i realised my story didnt have antagonists so i made a bunch of Bad People and then they all became good people after i started giving them more personnality somehow eXCEPt him for some reason, the only survivor of the “everyone will be baby” plague, the only rude bitch in this house, the only guy who’s still on the dark grey side of morally grey...but tbh im in love with him cause he’s an asshole and im an idiot so like.

His base concept was basically something along the lines of “fuckboy but make it Couture”, like douchebag indeed But Gotta Be Fancy at being one, gotta add a pinch of Sneaky Bitch in the pot. His aesthetic is Chillin, gettin in ur pants, then moving on for some more chillin and more pants. So if you’re into some funky sexy time with no pressure and no ties, ya gon get along, your goals meet, time to have fun.

All that is supported by his charisma, cause unless ya got some nasty history, he’ll just look like that charming bad-boy “oho hot dude with a dangerous but not agressive” vibed person, and he’s quite a sweet-talker. He’s probs not only the ‘your daughter calls me daddy’ kind but also ‘and so will YOU, i’m scoring with the whole family and you wont stop me (and you wont WANT to stop me)’

He got that handsome ppl priviledge ya feel

but also, he wouldnt be a rude guy if he was just the ‘i enjoy chill frick-fracking and im just so sexy that no one can say no to that booty’ guy

Dude got quiiite some spite-fueled ego and Does Not Take losing well, and will not, in fact, let himself lose on any objective he has, and when that objective is A Person, he gets ugly. Being good at sweet talking also means being good at small stuff like “not saying exactly the truth always when it would be more beneficial not to”, “deliberately using euphemistic, ambiguous or obscure language so to mask wrong doings and technically saying the truth but in such a way that it becomes completely masked by a thick fog of bullshit”, and “use words and behaviour in general to influence others unscrupulously so to get something in return”. Even a little “playing with their perception in order to make them doubt in their thoughts and selves”. In short dude got no qualms about using all the tools of manipulation available if it means that he comes on top (or on bottom if the goal was getting an assful eeeeeey we’re masters of comedy here) It tends to be all for short term results tho, so not much your ‘boyfriend who convinces you you’re nothing without him” and more of a “you thought you were dating but only you were thinking that as he always kept it just vague enough to have you not official yet convinced of his and now you’re blaming yourself for believing you were together”

master of getting ass, also master of Ugly Ass Breakups, and master of suddenly dissapearing from your life so hard that you wonder if it was just your imagination all along (he got ugly past with a bunch of other ocs especially he’s ex boyfriend with two that are now together cause i dig that sort of drama the sAME dUDe gave u the trust issues that held u from going full lovey dovey ? i fucking lIVE off that kinda shit wait until he pops back like ‘oho hello fancy seeing YOU TWO here my two fave exes together incredible what a small world”)

Though I have to rework on all that cause that backstory is oLD AS SHIT (like prolly i built it in what, 2016? ew ugly) I had that stem from some sort of neglect-fueled inferiority complex. I had given him a kinda cold family with a bunch of siblings who got Way More Nurtured due to their respective talents and achievements, having him left behind and feeling like he got nothing. SO that’s basically the explanation as of today but i dont like iiiiit anymooooore so I’ll have to work on it to make it something i dig, cause idk, bitch feels flat so far.

BUT i do intend on keeping the whole concept of ~Loneliness~, and of him working alone and quite hard for anything he gets. And the general need of proving himself that had come from the WIP backstory. I don’t exactly see him as an overachiever at all, but definitly as an obstinate and persevering hardworking guy, because “Look YALL I WAS aBLE TO DO THIS YALL THOUGHT I COULDNT HUH YALL LOOK DOWN ON ME well fuck u cause idc im better than u now also ur mum’s into bondage i kno from experience bye”. So tbh pair up with him for group projects, you’ll be sure his share of the work will be done (but also if you dont do yours then he’s probably going to be a bITCh about it, no remorse in leaving blank slides in the middle of the powerpoint and then loudly proclaiming ‘OH RIGHT This was supposed to be Kevin’s part but I suppose he never sent it to me, despite the numerous reminders i sent him, no big deal, no hard feelings, its ok sweetie we all sometimes feel too lazy i forgive u :)” )

Also he’d be Chill to hang out with for like, parties, nights out at the bar, that kinda shit. He definetly has some beans to spill about quite some people, he gathers the goss as he gathers lovers (i was gonna end that in “as he spreads legs” but it sounded too PG-18 for this good Well Behaved family friendly blog) and Will Not stay tight lipped, and Will be a bitch when trashtalking people, and It Will Be Entertaining as it always is when you’re hearing about crazy exes and you’ve had some beers.

Now trivia that idk where else to write cause idk i stupid or more like disorganised :

- he digs red ale beer like if ya wanna win him over with the appropriate alcohol offer there u go

- he’s a fake blonde (cause my hobby is painting regrowth roots on hair)

- his design is a mixture of those 3dgy denim boys u see on pinterest and the specific brand of fuckboys that are french-L-section-chic-grunge-hipster-fuckboys (L section is like a branch of highschool)(that word combo is a so specific kinda guy)(its kinda like a softboi but more arrogant but in a lowkey way)(also they rich)(but he’s not rich so guess that should make him Less Arrogant)

-im constantly dead afraid of giving him more characteristics and story or whatveer cause he’s the only meanie i got left and i do Not want him to stop being an asshole but everytime i develop a character they end up nice or redeemed or whatever and i wanna keep him a bitch so i neglect him (just like his parents in his 2016 version wow)

he smokes (prolly started quite early to Be Kool and now relies on it for stress relief)

he’s outspoken and extraverted and prolly the guy who had a lot to say when you were doing debates in class (there’s always that person who has a Lot to argument about)(its him) but outside of a Set and Defined debate structure he probably doesnt give his mind voraciously

he’s a law student and despite saying he’s the one bad guy left he probably wont be a corrupt lawyer or judge or whatever like come on he will do his job properly he worked hARD FOR THIS justice may be served

he’s not the kind to openly hate or even dislike anyone cause what’s the point of wasting your energy on that? its much funnier to him to be obnoxiously Neutral with someone and basically ignore them but still strike them with some Spikes of passive-agressive comments, let them be Mad at your calmness

he’s 177cm tall (that’s like 5.8 according to google)

honestly if you’re bros with him he’s fun to be with the being a jerk is completly coincidental

he probably ranks high in the list of “those criminals who steal big lighters from their friends”

i think at a point his design had tattoos but i forgot the designs of those so now he doesnt anymore

a dog person

i think ive run out of facts (or my brain dead) so im leavin with a shirtless pic cause my hobby is drawing tits

in short, charming asshole who can get ugly, secretly feels lonely and small, works hard for himself, better have him as a friend than as a foe though probably not the most frontally agressive enemy, and also, your booty, hand it over.

#people probably excuse his naughty behaviour bc of his looks and that's the fact

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jimlingss · 5 years

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(1/2) hello, hi! how’re u doing? how’re u feeling? hope nothing serious is troubling u. i wanted to drop by & say that chess of ice is such a charming story. shy hockey player jungkook? passionate curling players yoonji&taehyung? namjoon&adora as coaches? somewhat apathetic oc? and team dynamics, how they roasted that hockey team. im really enchanted. thank u for such a story! and i, too, look forward to tuesdays (its fet here) because of jungle park

Anonymous said:(2/2) its fluffy yeah but it seems somewhat melancholic to me (｡•́︿•̀｡) little pieces of puzzle about hoseoks&ocs past are still missing and they seem somehow precious to oc. anyway, it really interesting to read and learn about all characters & their relationships and watch how they evolve. also, your tags, can we appreciate them? they are funny and make me smile, whether it is your new work/chapter or simple answer to asks(*⁰▿⁰*) have a good day!! — chem

I’m doing goooood!! The end of the semester is pretty much here and I keep looking for things to do for school work but I’m pretty much done everything. I’m gonna start studying when exam break hits (in like 2-3 weeks). I don’t want to start now cause everything hasn’t been taught yet and I need a full picture in order to see how I want to divide up my time. In other words, I have a lot of free time these days lol WHAT’S NEW.

In terms of writing, I’ve been pushing myself to write a lot these days but much smaller stories. Hallelujah. I’ve been highkey angered with myself at how I keep drawing out oneshots into series and questioning why they’re so fucking long asdfghjkl but I’ve been working on things that are less than 5k and ngl I’ve been working on two really short smut pieces haahahhahahahahaha never thought the day would come that I’d try to attempt nsfw again but I have ideas for them, might as well write them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s a genre i’ve neglected so i’d like to try dipping my toes into them again. They might be posted mid-May idk yet.

Don’t worry, anon. Nothing ever really troubles me much. i live a pretty cushy life - also been re-watching Avengers Infinity War. It’s a good movie.

Anywayyys, I’m glad you like Chess of Ice. I’ve always wanted to write a sports!AU but everyone’s out here doing their own so I wanted to take a spin on it and decided to do curling cause that sport gets shit on the most hahahahahaha even I’ve made fun of it. ((don’t think I’ll write another sports!AU but maybe i’d try badminton or lacrosse or croquet LOL)). Also I made JK nice cause in all the hockey!AUs, he’s been depicted as a fratboy so I wanted to kind of take a turn from that. Yes, in my own story, he was a pretty big asshole when he was in hockey but after going through what he did and no longer receiving peer pressure from those people….underneath it all, he’s a soft guy.

and thank you for sharing the love on Jungle Park!! I think a lot of readers are interested and curious and thirsting to know what’s in the past and that’s understandable but its kind of ironic since OC, herself, doesn’t seem to be that plagued by the past anymore about it…yet everyone else on here DOES hahaha

#thanks for asking!!#Jimlings #chem anon #Anonymous

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hermoanie · 6 years

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tw: mental illness, miscarriage

oh wow another mess of a req. we love consistency. so i need elvira’s long term boyfriend who i will just call boyfriend for this request. great. buckle up!!

elvira and boyfriend met ages ago in the wonderful world of high school. they were friends, for a while. unlikely friends because elivra was sort of a weirdo, free spirit, talking to the ghosts in the room type whereas boyfriend was a cliche jock. sort of seemingly gangly and dumb but also oddly grounded in logic and facts and w/e. they weren’t really meant to be more than friends anyways. boyfriend had a girlfriend - one of vira’s good friends, actually - but in one of vira’s less stable moments (hint: mentally stable she was not!! but we’ll get back to that) they wound up hooking up. and they said they wouldnt again. until they did another time. and another time.

the girlfriend found out at prom it wasn’t pretty.

so, as one could assume, the girlfriend dumped boyfriend. in a flashy, hella dramatic fashion. vira would have loved it tbh if she wasn’t subjected to half the wrath. small price to pay. vira didn’t take well to the pressure of most of her friends now turning on her and siding with the girlfriend because girl code she broke it. which led her to a few manic episodes where the ““spirits”“ she was hearing (hint, girl its not spirits ur talking to) told her to do some dumb shit, culminating at its peak when they told her to jump off her roof. she was fine, only broke her arm, but people started taking her more seriously - aka her parents finally took her to a shrink where they diagnosed her as bipolar. which was the only good part of all of this.

anyways, back to boyfriend. he was basically the only one to stick by vira in all of this. mostly because he’d been the ass to cause it. they werent dating. they were just “friends”. friends who would hook up all the time. and friends who vira would have these huge melt downs to. but soOoooOOOOooOOOOO platonic.

they played this game before boyfriend. briefly got back together with his girlfriend from high school (spoiler alert he’s done this on more than one occasion in the last decade). which if you asked vira was Fine. totally and completely fine. but things with boyfriend and the girlfriend didnt last.

it wasn’t until some 3 years after their initial mess that something actually solid came from boyfriend and vira being together. they started actually dating, vira became clingy af in typical vira fashion. vira would up pregnant for the first time shortly after this. which she was over the moon about. like elated as all hell. but she miscarried a few weeks in so there went that sunshine.

but boyfriend and vira went on with their relationship. it was super codependent (although more so just on vira’s side tbh) and messy and every time they broke up (which happened often yikes) - even if it was for 48 hours, boyfriend somehow, without fail always found his way back to that ex from high school. which vira is super stupid insecure about. nice

here’s some spark notes bc this req is getting way too long. a few years later, when they were 23 vira got pregnant again (girl use some better birth control). surprise, she miscarried again. bigger surprise, she took this one worse than the first one. when they were 25 she got pregnant again (again with the birth control, girl). good news though this one stuck, and now they have a three year old who is the light of vira’s life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flash forward to now. she’s like three months pregnant and paranoid every single day that something bads going to happen to the baby but shes mostly out of the woods bc the other 2 times she miscarried way earlier than that but!! hello paranoia!!!!! it doesnt make her very easy to live with currently.

anyways thats where ill leave it. there are lots of other little holes and gaps to fill in because i way more prefer to build plots together w/ people okay. so take him and cry with me over them. he should be 28. the face is totally open just run it by me first plz. as far as personality/jobs go, like i said he’s definitely more put together and grounded than vira is. so he would have gone to college unlike her and has some sort of Real job (bc shes a psychic so thats fun). idk just do the thing so i can yell at you about my feelings ty!!

add me on discord if u want emma#6370

ty and goodnight

#wow more garbage is anyone surprised #btyrp #site stuff #requests #ss: requests

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ts-autumns-world · 3 years

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Episode 4: “Tua supremacy babey” - Lily O

I GET TO REUNITE WITH JINX YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

me waking up to see that im in the new tribe: https://media.tenor.com/images/93212119a4887f9fa0ad945c7ae2a5d0/tenor.gif

tbh i expected the swap since like we have 14 rn so its a reasonable number to do a swap before the merge.. but like this swap sucks not only me being the only one from og eener but its also me having to be with these 4 whites ppl. you know i don't trust white ppl except mikki SDFSDFSDFSDF so this absolutely SUCKS. and geekoffilm is on another tribe too.

URGH i hope i can team up with jinx and jude. and joey and i used to play together in CoW so hopefully, i am able to make him want to work with me again.. but monty... monty is very skeptical cause like they could just vote me off now. BUT THEN, i know that either jinx or raffy has the idol for sure, so maybe i need to ask jinx for that. or i just ask the person who i'll be up against with in the tic tac toe to throw a challenge if they are the og eener too.

much to think about bestie booth. i wanna trust these ppl so bad but i have trust issues

https://youtu.be/JrXnnD5KU0I

---

naur this is the plan if we go to council

imma be like joey

you are the only cis white man on the team

you have to go.

you wanna be an ally?

THIS IS HOW!!!

so im pushing for u FEWEJFEEFJEFEIFEFIJW

heS ALWAYS SAYING HE WANTS TO BE A BETTER ALLY

ALWAYS CALLING ME LIKE JINX IM SO SORRY

ILL BE LIKE FOR WHAT??

HE'S LIKE FOR BEING A WHITE CIS STRAIGHT MAN.

IF UR REALLY SORRY ULL LEAVE!

I have to start this out by saying Giraffez, I’m so sorry! I tried my best but too many people wanted to keep us comp strong and wanted Lily O to stay. I really wish we would have had the chance to play longer together but sometimes it’s just not in the cards.

As far as swap goes, I’m really happy about my team. We have a majority from my original group which is pretty wild. I wish Chips was here and I really hope he makes it work somehow but I’m ngl I’m a little worried about him.

I was so so thrilled to see Jinx on Tua with me. I also have started talking with Captain and Jude. They both seem super nice so as always I’m hoping to avoid tribal once again.

I’d like to the think that original Llih (was that how you spelled it?) will stay together but Giraffez told me that Lily O told her that she was voting for me. Now obviously we all voted Giraffez but I think Lily O knows I was plotting. So. I hope we can stick together. But. Yeah. Your girl is worried. And excited. She is excited cause this group seems cool. But nervous because yeah I’m not ready for another vote out. Mkay. Bye.

This swap went pretty well for me all things considered. I still have a bunch of people from my OG Tribe, and the new people seem active and really nice! So, I like my tribe. Blake offered to me today to work together closely in the game which I am down for. The semi-inactive people need to stick together and all that lmao. Other than that, I am straight Vibing

Swap time! honestly its time to kick it into high gear and win this immunity challenge! make some real allies!

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD!!!!!! So I have arrived in a swapped team with 3 of my old members! SOOO happy Mikki is here firstly since we can discuss basically anything. Blake and Raffy im also cool with but not like as close with them. Maybe a bit more with Blake. Of the new people my fav is Chris !! Already liking our chats and hope it can turn more strategic later maybe!! Ricky is also cool and funny and chips I was allies with him in Kili which is cool but probably the weakest connection of the new people so far!! It looks like we are gonna lose and if so its kinda hard like on one hand we have easy majority to vote off idk probably chips or maybe ricky or we could go against tribal linesI think Blake truly does wanna work with me tho but is just busy. Like going against tribal lines is kinda fun but maybe dumb. And chips being the 1 in a 4-2-1 swap sucks too!! Idk kind of evaluating the vibe with Mikki and will see what we think later if we lose… we would probs be safe regardless being protected by tribal lines on one side and having developed sorta good vibes with Chris and Ricky from the other side so probs wouldn’t be targeted from that angle either?? Hopefully… I did have kind of a delayed start with the new people cuz of irl stuff but yah we will see!

My opinion on swap was initially sad because I was missing out on Jinx/Jude/Joey/Captain BUT then I realize I like this tribe?? Im with Ricky still, Mikki probably is sitting at the cookout as we spesk, Chips is lowkey goody but I got my eye on him, Benj and I bond over Agatha Christie <3, Blake I knew from TDI so we have been goofin like a Goofy movie, Raffy I actually enjoy that we chat of the most mundane things, and that's everybody! I think I have a chance to survive on this tribe

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My thoughts are that I've got Ricky and Mikki at minimum. I know Mikki/Raffy got beef but I doubt they go for each other. Chips is like a level-headed Joey but I reckon one of him/Blake/Benj will be targeted if I had to guess. Nevertheless me and Captain talked during our matchup and exchanged info. My hope is me or Ricky are in Outhouse but I also hope not so we have higher odds to keep the goodies all goodie and safe

https://voca.ro/18WSqZznajDx

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I LOVE JUDE

so idk where my last confessional left off but i think it was before tribal. so after tribal, jinx’s manifestations came true, we swapped, i ended up on a tribe with no one i knew except chris, so that was kind of…nnng. but hey, gotta roll with the punches. me and jinx were paired up for the challenge which game me a bit of time to talk with them, and they gave me some insight on ppl i didn’t really know on my tribe, and also they gave me a tarot reading, and it basically said that while i’m probably gonna have to deal with some bullshit, i just have to use everything i’ve learned to get over any obstacles, and stay calm and collected through it all. i’m really really praying for this one, since we just lost immunity, and now chris is going to the outhouse, i’m afraid that i’m truly all alone now. and if there’s one thing that scares me it’s being alone. i really like mikki tho, and i heard benj was good ppl. maybe if i let them know that raffy might have the half idol then maybe they’d be more inclined to work with me, but i also really enjoy raffy’s presence, so i don’t really want him to be a target. blake and i have had a good amount of dialogue so i’m hoping that he’d be willing to work with me, to be honest. ughhhhh why why why tribal. WHY TRIBAL. in all my years of playing tumble survivor i’ve never been sent to like…and exile or redemption island ONCE. not once….ever…. please god let me get to the outhouse just one time.

First of all, lemme just say I'm so amused by how quickly my chances of no-votes went RIGHT out the door. But also thank god that it went off without a hitch! And right before a swap, no less New tribe is definitely iconic. LOVE Jinx, Captain and Jude are cool too, and then my Llih buddies are also v nice to have (shoutouts monty and joey)

Tua supremacy babey

https://youtu.be/oP7DWOnmt40

https://youtu.be/Z3_pyWTdRh8

https://youtu.be/UFshPYJ98z0

hello confessional booth... i'm here to give you um. something i hope!!!!

well since the swap, i feel like i've managed to fit in better than i expected cause ive been feeling under the weather and i don't rlly have energy to talk to anyone (which is so great that our tribe won this IC) but i rlly need to work on that more for sure..

joey wants to work with me.. like a lot. we worked together for a bit in CoW before he was voted out and he was a great ally to me back then so i think i can trust joey a little bit? and he rlly wants the pocs to go far so i think this is a good sign.

with jinx, we've been wanting to talk about the outhouse thing but jinx wants to call and i've been feeling sick so we haven't called but hopefully we can do that soon. i trust jinx a lot and i know they're gonna take care of me.

jude.. you know i like her since i saw her intro vid so yup gonna need to talk to her more!!!

lily c.. my fellow teacher pls SFSFSDFSD i enjoy our chat a lot like idt its much but every time we talk, with her, it just feels great and nice and like we just get to know each other so far so i hope we can talk game a bit more but we'll see

lily o.. we haven't talked since the day the swap happened. idk why. maybe she's busy or maybe i should dm her first so i think i'm gonna do that tmr my time if i have the energy.

and monty... PLEASE idk if i can trust monty or not. like he's a good friend of mine but my experience in orgs with them is that they tried to break the swp apart (which was smart but then mikki and i are both playing so gotta keep an eyes on them)

i'm just trying to feel good and hopefully recover soon cause i hate being sick. idk i'm scared of covid!!!!! but i haven't gone outside for a week or two methinks so we're gonna pray and see.

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missing mikki and hope she will be fine

Blake suggested starting an OG Eneer alliance to Mikki and Benj. They took them up on the offer so I guess I am in my first alliance of the game based on arbitrary reasons. In any case, they seem to want to vote out Chips which is a RIP. But whatever keeps me safe for one more round.

I don’t have an obsession with the Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood sketch from SNL... No I clearly don’t... https://youtu.be/whfQf3Pd5bU

It’s my chronic overthinking in this swap that is going to do me in, I feel. It’s the pressure of having to actually think differently, and coming off of EVERYTHING I’ve seen in this community over the past 6 months, oh good Lord have mercy, I feel as though its so hard for me to want to not sacrifice my game, but at the same time... I feel all the pressure in the world to flip. I did have a lucid dream that if I got to a point where I consistently voted only white people at every Council, it would make my game look REALLY good by comparison, since I literally did everything I could, and no, I don’t want to hear anyone post season say this was rigged for Jinx, it’s not, we’re only going to go against each other down the road because of how this season has been set up, and it breaks my heart

https://photos.app.goo.gl/eSvSGkc4zmBfnYVP7

So here's some tea I suppose. I was a pretty big fan of the tribe swap because people talked more in general. This was particularly interesting considering their different timezones but continued ability to keep up conversation. It was pretty apparent that I was at a numbers deficit from my original tribe but my hope was that people didn't want to play like "that" and then if they did that my former tribe would throw it to keep the numbers. Apparently that is not true as Lily C went as hard as possible to win a challenge she could have convincingly thrown as an "accident" multiple times. At any rate, based on the total lack of communication with me concerning who I am voting it is evident that either the plan is to vote someone without telling me or that it is to vote me. This means that regardless of the situation I am in a terrible position and will be leaving sooner rather than later. I don't know that I've been swap screwed in the past (perhaps, I've been playing for too long) but it really stinks.

For the TL;DR watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzftXB28gBE

http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-no-sir.gif

As I'm writing this, I have a big gulp from... you guessed it... 7/11. I need to flip on one of the three of Monty, Lily O, and Lily C. My best option is going to vote for Lily O, I need Monty and Lily C to know I'm only doing this because yanno, things look awfully awful, and the pressure of making the right move and yet making sure I don't lose relationships is starting to get to me.

I also need them as shields because theyre the only winners in this game, and I need them here as shields for down the road heading into a merge.

I can't even believe I found TWOA IDOLS! I had to think a lot about who to give it too but I decided to do what felt like the smartest thing to do. Jinx and Captain already trust me and I enjoy Ricky but he gives semi chaotic energy. With that in mind, I had to give it to Jude as a sign of faith. Not only am I wanting her to do well, but I want to prove to her I legit want to work with her come merge 😊

https://youtu.be/vOn8Zsi0njA

https://youtu.be/UWTB-LYjbu0

for Chips: https://youtu.be/lSeDZdSEl4o

#tsaw #episodes

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survivorwakea · 5 years

Text

Episode 4: “WHO MADE THE FUCKING ALLIANCE?” -Chloe

We just won another challenge here on Huamea which is lit. I think we are going to swap soon, but if not and we go to tribal with this tribe I think I’ll be fine. I’m still set up with randy Elmo and Ian well, and I think we could successfully target Joey if needed

Well another sit out for me but I’d say it was a good decision. We got 1st place and I don’t think I would have been the most helpful in this one. Really appreciate my tribe mates for coming through tho. Now I’m just wondering if there is going to be a swap. If there isn’t then we have to sit out three people on the tribe. Aka sitting out pretty much everyone who did the last one. As per usual, I’m very busy this week. Hoping I can find enough time to help in the challenge so that we can win or at least not come in last. I still have no alliances...but I think that’s okay for now. I think I’m in a good place with Jared and Elmo. We had each other’s backs if we went to tribal after the music video but we didn’t have to go. Joey also told me before results that he wouldn’t vote for me if we lost. Hoping that these promises or positive thoughts will continue farther into the game. At least until we get to jury. I also want to publicly own up to the fact that I still don’t know how the idol system works and I just don’t have the energy for it. So I’m just gonna pretend it doesn’t exist. Yep. That’ll do.

youtube

I was going to do a video confessional, but I high key got lazy and dont have too much to say

we won again which is great. I truly do feel like I kinda carried the team in a challenge I wasn't that great at, but it was really an all around effort and I'm glad we stayed.

I really do think I am in everybody's top 1-2 on this tribe except for the potential of Zack as well, but I like him a lot so I wouldn't want to see him go.

Nothing makes me want to win like when I have a tribe full of people I genuinely like. If I can help it, i really want to get to the merge without having lost another challenge due to my lost vote that I still haven't had to use yet, so I need those to be as spread a part as possible, and I don't want people to suspect me

those are kinda my only thoughts for now. hoping we don't swap until 14 and we get another round in these tribes, then a swap at 14 and merge at 12 (since my legacy advantage basically tells us we're merging at 12)

justin said he feels like a double might be happening sometime soon, but I'm not so sure about that just because of cullan getting expelled, and I feel the hosts would now elongate it a bit, but we'll see

im chillin for now

anna is ab to check confessionals and i can’t remember if i made one so this is my confessional.... johnny is rly nice to me and it scares me bc what if he is PLAYING ME.... and zack is also rly nice to me and that scares me TOO.... justin don’t fuckin talk to me and bodhi and asya barely do..... u know what 15th looks kinda cute rn bc i think that’s my destiny..... we floppin 🤪

Well, it’s still pretty quiet over at the Haumea camp. My tribemates kicked ass at the immunity challenge (sometimes, it pays to submit early), and I’m still getting along with everyone very well. I have suspicions that we could be switched up again next round, but hey, what do I know?

not much game development, im still attempting to keep my connections afloat in my tribe, i think ive now talked game with everyone and generally im in a rly good position, i dont wanna get too cocky bc that could lead to my downfall. I think that after this round we could potentially swap again to 2 tribes of 8. That would be kinda wild and I'm here for it

sry for a short one

I don't know if I should be sad, disappointed, angry, or all of the above. Losing this challenge was rough, and it's pretty evident the majority of the effort came from Adam, next would be myself. Clohie and Tom put little to no effort in the challenge. As stated before Tom's approach to the game has been pretty lackadaisical. He has hardly put any effort into not only the challenges but just his day to day interactions with the castaways. When I wanted to form the alliance with him and Clohie, he didn't relay the information to Clohie. And when Clohie indirectly asked him he didn't even acknowledge the possible alliance then either. I guess what I'm saying is...I want Tom out! Since this swap I have had my best relationship in Clohie, I like Adam, but I can tell he's a smart guy...so I'll keep him at a distance for now. I really do want to try and get Tom out though as a test of Clohie's loyalty to see if she would vote out one of her own. I think I have put myself in the situation where everyone feels comfortable with me moving forward, so I don't foresee my name being written down but I could be wrong, it is Survivor after all. I'm assuming we're coming to another swap, I just hope I'll have allies going into it, and if not allies, challenge beasts please. 3 out of 4 tribals isn't a good look😬 And can we talk about the idol system, all I have to say is: I HATE ALL OF YOU (to whoever helped put it together) G'Day.

youtube

Haha idk what the fuck is happening right now. So Tom can go and talk about our alliance with Taylor, with Adam. But still hasn’t mentioned it to me? Ok 🙃 I could easily vote Tom out here but idk I feel like he’s loyal? Maybe?? But then again I know him more than Adam and Taylor and that’s maybe why I wanna keep him even if I know he’s probably trying to fuck me over rn

hiii! this round went so quick?? idk it just zoomed by in my opinion haha. listen.. we won immunity and i’m grateful. another week safe with my idol so i’m just getting closer and closer to merge. i’m hoping for a swap soon and i’m expecting it. i would love if me elmo and justin got on a tribe together that way we can start to actualllllly work together and show eachother our trust that way once merge comes we can just kill it! not much happened this round but i’m just feeling grateful and wanted to let you all know! y’all are great host and i’m having so much fun. Xoxo

Heading into this next challenge, I feel great. I have a tight bond with Jared, Lily and I just so happen to be in the same friend group chat, and have been talking alot, Elmo is awesome, but the two that worry me are Ian and Ben. Ben and I haven’t talked much, and once again, Ian is preventing me from trying to build a bond by just building a ridiculous wall up. Maybe he isnt cut out for these games tbh.

Well it's either Adam or Taylor. Chloe wants Taylor to stay. I don't really care who stays xD I'm probably gonna random.org this vote, I do not know to if I want Adam or Taylor here. Plus that random ass alliance chat doesn't help

tribe assessment:

jared - out of everyone i get probably the most loyal vibes from him, idk what it is. he's rly genuine whenever i talk to him. i think the fact that we played a game like over 3 years ago means a lot to him. i wouldnt be v shook if he somehow schemed against me at some point at early-mid merge or something. right now i think he wants to work with me for the long term

ben - ive been talking to him a lot from the beginning. i think that he's with me for now, i for sure think that he's going to make a move on me later on though, im not sure when but for now i trust him and i think i can work with him. I think if numbers r close at the merge he'd want to side w me. I'm not sure how well connected he is. I like talking to him but he works a lot (what a king tbh) so that probs hinders his ability talk a lot

lily - she is not the most active, which is sad because she is a kickass player. If she gets too far in this game, that could potentially be a problem, if we are not working closely together that is. She's EXTREMELY loyal and i think that if i keep talkin to her, she'd want to work with me for the long term. Potentially I think that she should be in my end game but obvs its way too early to say that

ian - he is one of the more quieter ppl but the more u talk to him, the more u get out of him and I'm starting to notice that. I think that we have a pretty solid connection over all and I rly like talking to him! he is p different than I am so that gives me good perspective. game wise, i havent had a lot of discussions with him yet but im working on it a lot bc i think he could be someone i have potential with

joey - hes nice. he doesnt talk a lot which is kinda weird. he said that he has my back but im not sure if he said that out of keeping himself away from my radar or if he actually meant it. I am not really sure? I wouldn't be very surprised if Jared hinted to him that I could potentially be lookin to vote him out. I think that there is POTENTIAL of me working with him but i think if i had to choose someone who i'd want to vote out, it would probably be him.

i could be totally oblivious about my situation but i genuinely think that im in a v strong position in this tribe. I believe i have potential (i think) to work with everyone on our tribe which i really like. This is all based on intuition though so i could be TOTALLY Wrong. The fact that we never lost just means that I have no solid proof or claims. Only my own perceptions. Idw be cocky in this game, it has been my downfall before. I want to be in a mindset that people are against me.I thrive when I'm under pressure. I kinda wished that we went to at least one tribal just to see how everyone here was game wise. Oh well!!

if i was going to be the boot on our tribe i look like a total clown rn.

Besides the fact that I’m leaving tonight, yeah not much is going on! I’m so disappointed that this is how my game is coming to an end. I’m at a loss of words so I’m sorry if you want more I just don’t have it in me

i’m.... goin thru a lot of emotions. for no reason. idk

at the last tribal council the person who i was least happy to be cast with was voted out so that was one less thing to worry about. then we won immunity. which is nice. but also i get lazy premerge when we keep winning immunity. it doesn’t help that my social battery is currently at %10 and i have a broken charger. but. oh well.

i have to play in the next immunity and idk. if there’s only 3 of us competing and two of them are me and justin then maybe we really Will be going to tribal next round who knows.

also i’m really bad at idol hunting. i didn’t give enough birth. the lizard goddess has no interest in making an appointment w me. i killed myself one time and got nothing for my troubles. i feel like something’s definitely been found by now, aside from johnny’s legacy advantage. idk it’s feelin a little bleak bc i figured my best shot at finding an idol would be premerge and i know we still have a ways to go probably but if the idols are found then that’s it on that.

This is literally going to be the most gut wrenching vote. Clohie and Tom will not budge, or even fathom the idea of voting out the other. I'm under the impression they want Adam out, but I'm also afraid of the possibility of a vote against me....so I have to contemplate if it's smarter to tie the vote 2-2 first and then vote out Adam, or to just trust that they are in fact voting Adam. Something else I'm praying on if I survive this round, is for a swap. Because without one, I'll be on the bottom of the 3 with Clohie and Tom obvi sticking together since their original Kanaloa. And our challenge record is not the best. Adam is probably our strongest challenge performer so that's another reason I'd hate to see him go. Tom and Clohie are just so mysterious and vague, and Adam has been nothing but upfront with me. Ugh, just the thought of a tie vote or drawing rocks makes me so sick...I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

This has been the most stressful vote I have had to deal with, EVER. Taylor is a snake but Chloe wants to keep him and I get better vibes from Adam. I am considering doing a 2-2 if Chloe votes Adam and if it goes to rocks, so be it.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week4/s-94KbM

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Taylor is voted out 3-1.

#episode #sailaway

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