#its so valid lets gooo

[desafinado]

💚 Hi! I'd like to request a romantic match-up for genshin if that's ok with you

I’m non-binary and I use all pronouns, but most times i like to lean towards they/them. I'd like to be referred to as Mika.

I’m pansexual but I’d like to be matched up with a male since most of my favs are male

I'm afab and I'm 171 cm tall. I have pale skin and green eyes, and long eyelashes that I'm very proud of. I have really light brown and curly hair, and i had it cut short in a pixie cut, but its started to grow a bit at the back. I have an athletic body shape, and I prefer to wear a binder to appear more androgynous even though I have a small chest size. I'm considering getting top surgery though. My style is dark Akademiya and alt depending on how i feel.

My personality type is INTJ 5w6, I’m similar to Diluc and Scaramouche the most. I come off as cold and unwelcoming to most people at first and I'm very closed off, but I’m very warm and chaotic once you get to know me. I have a hard time talking to others because I’m very shy, but I’m loud, chaotic and teasing to people I’m comfortable with, more like Heizou and Childe. I value loyalty and comfort above all else, and I try my best to make sure the people I care about know this even though I have a hard time at expressing how I feel. I speak through actions rather than words. I also have some autistic traits.

I don’t really have a main aesthetic, but recently my style has been more dark Akademiya. I like to appear well-dressed in button-ups, turtlenecks, slacks and trench coats. I also really like flannel, my favourite colour is red although i own several in many colours.

I tend to have a saviour complex, I want to be a detective when I’m older and use my brain to help others.

As for hobbies, I’m an artist and musician. I’m very picky with my tools and prefer to work digitally with the best programs and brushes I can get my hands on. My work has no meaning, I just draw what I like and what appeals to me. I draw for my friends on their birthdays. I use art to show that I care, putting lots of work to draw a character my friends care about is how I show that I care, I want to take time and effort to show them that I care. I can play the guitar and sing and dance too. Sometimes i compose and write songs. I also love reading in my spare time, I’m a maladaptive daydreamer, and spend a lot of time immersing myself in fictional worlds.

For a romantic partner, I see the personality above all else. I have no preference for gender, as long as they’re someone gentle and loyal. I also love a good sense of humour

My love languages are quality time and physical touch (giving and receiving), since I’m very touch-starved, I like to be physically close to my loved ones. But i overthink a lot, so I also like to be reassured that my partner cares. I don’t have much experience in relationships, but I’m a hopeless romantic.

kaeya ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ ﾟ ♡ ﾟ｡

in general, he is your number one supporter and defender. ready to welcome you home with all the cuddles you might need!

he admires your honor and determination to help others very much, that was what drew him in.

that along with the fact that you were quite closed off, he just had to unravel the mystery that was you. (now that you’re dating, he takes pride in being your favorite, or so he thinks)

once you’re closing, you can expect the banter between you two to end up in you both trying to “out-tease” one another.

if he’s stuck on a certain case or problem at work, he’ll ask for your opinion. you’re his number one as he is yours, after all. even if you can’t solve it, he loves seeing you so focused all for him.

“hmm.. what’s going on in that cute little head of yours?”

your favorite pastime together is cuddling on the couch, just telling each other how your days went or sometimes making up plans for the future.

impossible dreams, hopeful ambitions or just what you might want to eat tomorrow morning, kaeya loves to hear all of it.

more often than not, he takes the first step to initiating intimacy or affection, because he understands that you need time and reassurance. he doesn’t mind one bit, gives him the perfect excuse to shower you in love; he’s not ashamed of it.

you first “i love you” though, he will not hold back on the tears of joy if and when it happens

note: i hope you enjoyed ^^ a bit of a disclaimer, i was gonna use "pretty" head, but i didn't know if you would be ok with that sjkfsdjf hence "cute" ^^ but please do tell if you are fine with it. hope you have a nice day!!

#kaeya #airi.celebrates50! #also based on your description you do indeed give me diluc/scara vibes hahahha #its so valid lets gooo

[bonesandthebees]

OOOOHHDHFJGK i love the stars wilbur fact so much and oh . Now i am thinking about how much i miss stars sobs its so good

And okay . I am trying to be normal bee. I am so normal about this sandduo slice of life (have i ever told u that slice of life is my fav au ever) tHATS NORTHWEST AND NATURE CENRRICIDUD im normal . I am sooo normal . Literally. I am a perfectly normal human being who took this information, smiled, and moved along like a normal human being. Yep.

AHDKFJDLFFJDLFJKDFJLDDHFLDHDLFHSKFHDLDHFLGHDLFHSLDHDLDHDLFJDLDHDLDJDLFHDLFFJDLHDLFHFLSJDFLJDDLJFDLFJGLJDJFFJLDJGKFK

coughs

Anyways genuinely excited at the idea!! But i also won't be upset if it never gets posted, bc i totally fucking get you man, and you are so valid for that

I am also just . In shock at the idea even existing LMAODJFGKF are u trying to target me bee, i feel targeted rn wtf /pos

And on another note, THE NEW WIP SOUNDS SO COOLFJGKGK i keep forgetting to read rhe prequel one shot bUT YAURRHFFFFF happy to see more sandduo but ALSO excited to see rainduo, i love how you write rainduo sosososo much and ofc . Crimeboys, ur crimeboys are the only ones ever sighs

You know i never really thought of myself as a big politics fan but hot damn i fucking loved stars sm so im excited to see more of it!!! I feel like the tension is gonna be SO GOOD also HELL YEAH MURDER TIME LETS GOOO

Ough i love grey morality it's sooo fun to play around with eueueueu i feel like theres gonna be some crazy shit to work with for theories n stuff i am sooo excited

Thanks for the banger info bee :D (again no pressure on the sandduo au at all!!! I just think it's very neat that it exists :D <3)

stars I miss it too <333

LMAO yeah I had a feeling you'd have a Moment learning that I have a slice of life sandduo fic living in my drive. I really do want to write it, but it's just one of those things where every time I sit down and try to do it my brain just doesn't latch onto it. I'm currently trying to rework the plot to make it a bit more interesting for me because I really adore the concept and atmosphere, but idk I also like the og story I came up with so I might just try to push through

here's a snippet though if you want to get an idea of the vibes

also don't worry about reading the royalty au prequel lol it's not necessary to understand the main story, it'll just help provide a little more backstory and context :)

i'm so glad you're excited though!! I'm really excited to dive back into writing royal politics. I didn't think I would enjoy writing it that much either but then I wrote stars and was like "oh my god this is so fun" so I can't wait to share that world with you guys

#ask #icyfox17 #au ramblings

[miraclemagnet]

hellooooo

I really want to lose 7 kgs in 4 days and I know its possible and i can but whenever I affirm I feel so good for few mins then again when i look myself I can't help but loose faith

what should I do??

i m sorry if this sound nonsense

Ayooo.

Bestie you're putting the 3D on a pedestal. Stop obsessing over your results, stop seeking the 3D for validation, stop reacting to the 3D. You really need to focus on your desires and not on the 3D. Don't let the 3D change your thoughts, the 3D is just an illusion.

You don't need to believe in your affirmations in order to manifest, you just need to keep on persisting. Doesn't matter if you're feeling anxious or doubtful, your emotions don't affect your manifestation at all.

BITCH YOU'RE GOD. YOU LITERALLY CONTROL THIS WORLD. EVERYTHING HAPPENS ACCORDING TO YOU HERE. LITERALLY NOTHING CAN TAKE AWAY WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE GOD OF THIS WORLD. SO FUCKING START THINKING LIKE THE GOD YOU ARE.

I suggest you to work on your self-concept. Start focusing on yourself and START ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR POWER. REMEMBER IF YOU WANT SOMETHING THEN NOTHING CAN STOP YOU FROM GETTING IT.

"i m sorry if this sound nonsense-" No its alright babe. IF YOU FEEL FRUSTRATED THEN TAKE A BREAK BUT DON'T YOU DARE STOP PERSISTING. DON'T GO BACK TO THE OLD STORY.

COME ON BITCH YOU GOT THIS.

KEEP ON PERSISTING. Remember YOU control the 3D, the 3D does not control YOU.

YOU'VE ALREADY MANIFESTED WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU'RE HELLA POWERFUL BRUH.

I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. DON'T GIVE UP AND KEEP GOING BESTIE.

Let's gooo!

Love, Moon.

#anon ask #manifesting #law of assumption #loassumption

[readyandnot]

ready rambles~

sovereign state season one finale

part three thoughts

spoilers under the cut

* well already the thumbnail is basically inversion- so i hoped that they wouldn’t summon in the middle of the stadium cause that’s fucking terrible.

* I CALLED IT

I FUCKING CALLED ITTTT

* STARLIGHT GETTING THEIR MEMORIES BACK LETS GOOO

* let’s talk about the memories cause omg- THEIR FIRST MEETING, it’s so crazy to see that their dynamic really isn’t any different, and avior is the same guy hence why he was sarcastic again when he pulled starlight back in- now of course his sarcasm is limited because he did fall in love with starlight BUT ITS STILL THERE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN

* next- the HEALING GOD THERES SO MANY HEALING SCENES IN THIS SERIES; i wonder how starlight got injured? they must have tried a plan that didn’t work? maybe got lost in a circle? nevertheless AVIOR STARTING TO GET SOFT WITH STARLIGHT I CANT the fact that he calls them “human” bro come on we all know you have a cuter nickname you can use LMAO; hearing the teasing and laughing from him AFTER SEEING HIM HURTING FOR SO LONG, it’s so bittersweet, i hope we can see him like this again in the future after everything

* also THE PARALLEL OF AVIOR NOT BEING COMPLETELY TRUSTING TO STARLIGHT VS WHEN STARLIGHT WASNT SURE IF THEY COULD TRUST HIM WHEN THEY GOT PULLED BACK IN I CANTTTT

* next- the kissing. i am still not over it. i have listened to this audio 5 times now, and i’m still not over this part. IM IMAGINING WHAT LED UP TO THIS AND WHAT HAPPENED AFTER AHHHHH; the teasing in between kisses. i love them so much. THE PASSION. THE LOVE YOU CAN TELL THEY FEEL FOR EACH OTHER.

* then, the “confession” scene i’ll call it; i hc that this is right after that previous memory (cause let’s be honest that was getting hot and heavy-) but i’d like to think after all that they talked about it and that’s where this memory comes in. HES SO SOFT FOR STARLIGHT, i’m just imagining him grabbing their face and just ADMIRING THEM. he’s such a romantic holy shit

* THE FINAL MEMORY OF THEM TALKING ABOUT THE COFFEE SHOP. OMG. the “starlight, look at me, please.” gets me every damn time. his comfort is soft and so beautiful it truly makes me so happy. i love this relationship so much.

* “i love you. so much.” STARLIGHT LOVES YOU TOO I PROMISE

* also- can we just appreciate the piano music for a sec? BECAUSE ITS SO SIMPLE YET SO BEAUTIFUL. i love using the music as another form of storytelling, it’s such a nice addition and doesn’t take away from anything, i love and have loved it so much. it’s so calming in a way. i wonder what music he used…

* THEYRE HOMEEEEEEE LETS GO; to all you non believers… haha :)

* THE DISBELIEF, THE REUNITING AND HUGGING, THE SIGHS AND SHUDDERS OF RELIEF- chef’s kiss, a wonderful reuniting

* SO STARLIGHT WANTED AVIOR TO GO THROUGH THEIR MIND- the parallel of avior telling them he could use that as a trick- BUT THEM SUGGESTING IT NOW OMG; i mean it makes sense, i honestly would’ve done the same because one- i would want him to see what i saw and two- it is really hard to explain and quote like it’s nothing so it’s a perfectly valid way to explain

* THE HESITATION. THE CONSENT. TAKE NOTES CUTIE.

* “behind this wall, come on.” I IMAGINE HE GRABBED THEIR HAND AND PULLED THEM UP AHHHH

* avior baby i’m sorry you’re overwhelmed but you had to see that. THE FACT THAT HE KNOWS THEY HAVE THEIR MEMORIES BACK, I CAN SEE THE SHOCK AND REALIZATION ON HIS FACE

* “and how do you feel about that?”

* [what i think starlight said]

“like this…” AND GOES TO KISS HIM COME ON ITS PERFECT

* THE KISSINGGGGG SUCH UTTER PERFECTION- THE MELTING INTO IT FUCK

* listen avior, priorities are priorities- kissing your partner after so long before coming to terms with your mission is definitely a top priority. i don’t blame you one bit lol

* “i’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that you don’t fucking hate me!”

* “i never hated you.”

* so…. it happened on new year’s eve. I KNEW THE THUMBNAIL HAD TO DO WITH INVERSION

* also the fact that they were there for over two years and it was only less than one hour in the real world??? can someone do that math cause i cant-

* THE SIMPLE THINGS LIKE A DARK ALLEY AVIOR I GET IT ITS OKAY

i hate to see characters cry, but this time it’s understandable, and it’s not like a heartbreak cry, it’s a relief. something that avior and starlight needed- relief.

* THEY COULD HEAR THE PORTAL OPEN??? THEY CANT BE THAT CLOSE; AVIOR DO NOT GET ANY CLOSER I DONT WANT YOU TO BE LIKE GAVIN

* and then they stopped hearing the screaming, because that’s how quick the decision was made by david. holy shit. it sounded like it was forever because we heard everyone’s perspectives when in reality it was less than a minute, and we finally saw that. that’s crazy.

* “too late to stop this tide.” SO WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???

* “we just traded one hell for another” WAIT ITS NOT YOUR FAULT COME ON NOW

wow, all i can say is wow. this series is something i did not expect i would come to love so much when i first listened- but it had me hooked from the first audio. now i was one of the luckier ones and got to catch up before the “confession” audio. but i still had to wait and feel everyone’s pain of the wait LOL

but it was so worth it. getting to this point to where we’re almost caught up in the current timeline is worth it. seeing the character development slowly going from slow burn to not and reuniting was worth the wait.

avior has definitely risen up in my ranks for the characters because his development and arc is a beautiful thing. we saw him at his lowest and highest moments, we saw him make mistakes, learn and love. he is a character that i’ve grown to love and i��m sure other people have as well.

starlight. starlight is truly one of my favorite listeners at this point- they’re such an intriguing person, no wonder avior fell for them LMAO, but they have this personality that’s infectious and a soul that’s admirable; they are a person who is stubborn in the best way possible and it’s been amazing seeing how they dealt with the situation. and how they are with avior back then, when they got back in, and how they are now!

i’m so excited for season two, i have a lot of theories and ideas- for example, how they could possibly meet people working for project meridian, or helping take down closeknit with sunshine and elliott (maybe even sweetheart?), and maybe even colliding with vega and warden at some point! there’s so many options and ways this can go, and i’m so thrilled to see that they’ll do it together.

thank you redacted for such a wonderful series and i speak for everyone when i say that we cannot wait for what will go on in season two.

what’s next- now i believe we would get more updates with the balance after the avior season one finale! that’s going to be something- just back to back angst WE DO NOT HAVE A BREAK LOL, but i’m so excited for the balance and the upcoming simpler videos! let’s see what the next lineup has in store :)

ps- vote for milo for march redactness HE DESERVES TO WIN OKAY SAM ALREADY WON

here’s to the believers o7 thanks for reading <3

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #readyrambles #redacted avior #redacted starlight

[meirimerens]

i see a fellow rareshipper. grabs you.

proposition: vlad jr/andrey/grief.

i am overjoyed to learn about rareship(per)s because the game is our oyster and at its core We Ball (<- human philosophy) but i don't know if there's some kind of social convention wrt to ships i'm supposed to partake in now or if there's something in particular you would want me to say (if i'm being honest, i don't even know why people come at me with "hey what about [ship]" because i'm not sure what they want. validation? reassurance? none of these make sense to me, but maybe, again, there is some kind of social convention or transactional discourse i'm expected to partake in but i don't Get it i really don't Get it) so besides my usual response of "the world is your oyster + baller + let's fucking gooo" i don't know what to tell you. i don't know what you want me to tell you. because for what feels like the 10th time and what might be,

what proposition? a proposition for what? what part am i supposed to play in this exchange which i know the answer for

#bestie (grabs your face back) i don't know what you want from me. what you expect from me. #''proposition'' for what? of what? i don't ship it. you know i don't. i've said it at length. what proposition? #i assume it's not to ''consider'' it. i've considered it because i've seen it around; have not cared for it; and so i haven't talked about #because that's what i do when i come across a ship i don't care for. i just move on with my life #again. is there something. more. some kind of thing i am supposed to say here. #go merrily. ship freely. i think it's a funny fucking ship but i care not to be propositioned for it #just like all of the rest... #(slowly lets go of your face lovingly) bestie what doth thine heart desire... #ring ring (answers) #anonymous

[arbustorum]

rusty is so good at making the most repulsive agps imaginable, like i physically recoiled when i read timothys bio. someone get blaire away from that skinwalker right fucking now. no woman deserves this fate no matter how deranged of a gendie she is. D:

Blaire stans this is the one time its valid to defend blaire lets gooo!! 😭😭😭😭

#babygirlgate #leasebound spoilers

[saturno-sol]

Hello Saturno-sol,

I saw your post about Codex and I just wanted to let you know your not just screaming into the void. I know for one that I love your fic and I can't wait to keep reading and learning about your characters. When it comes to responses, I was literally thinking about going back and re-reading Codex again so I can give some proper comments on the chapters - the first two times I was just so wrapped up in the story I forgot comments were a thing😅

I'm writing an oc-centric fic too, and I found that it is pretty hard to get reception for it. It may just be because I'm new to writing fanfic, or that I'm just new to social media in general, but yeah, it's hard not having any response to something you work so hard on. You and Codex have actually been a huge inspiration and source of comfort for me, knowing that I'm not the only one writing about my bugs instead of canon characters.

I know that you said to just ignore the post, but it's true - a little bit of validation goes a long way, especially for something that you put so much effort and creativity into. So here's my little bit of that, and a thank you for sharing and putting effort into something so unique and fun.

Hoping that this is the right place to put this, Tiger Lily

P.S. - QUEZAL SWEEP LET'S GOOO!!!

Hey!

Looking over your response and I will admit I teared up just a bit haha. Thank you, it really means a lot to hear.

But don’t worry about me! I get into funks like this sometimes, its a double edged sword where the problem is in the solution so I end up just flopping onto the floor like a fainting lady haha. Its nice to see that Codex has inspired you! It makes me even more determined to see it through and make sure I tell their story justice.

Its hard getting reception for these kinds of things yeah, but that doesn’t make our work any less impressive or important than others. And also know that you or anyone else aren’t obligated to do anything! This means more than enough thank you.

#asks #thanks sm wails #us oc storytellers gotta stick together yknow? #i already have home for a rest on my tabs so thisll be a good time to read about Beryl! #tiger-lily-55555

[seamsofparadise]

I posted 2,903 times in 2022

That's 2,865 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (1%)

2,883 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tmtstc-tmtsts-odytis

@tooquirkytolose

@willmovingmakeadifference

@festiveshrimps

@thisgirlshouldbeworking

I tagged 143 of my posts in 2022

#dracula daily - 7 posts

#ofmd - 6 posts

#dracula - 5 posts

#iron widow - 3 posts

#david - 3 posts

#daily dracula - 3 posts

#yes yes yes - 2 posts

#i love you so much - 2 posts

#you're right and you should say it - 2 posts

#lets gooo - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#i put it to a generic one when i got the phone and it will remain that way until the end of its natural life

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

look look y’all steddyhands might be my favorite ship name in years we’re going with that yes? bc if it’s a vote i’ll fucking campaign for that one

49 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#4

shout out to the bad bitches writing flint/izzy fanfic yall are right and you should say it

53 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

#3

the only valid use of ‘unalive’ is to describe whatever is happening with Lucy

102 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

#2

our boy jonathan on may 8th

109 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Mina using the polycule’s brain cell at it’s maximum power:

Literally everyone: 😍😍😍

363 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i love yall

[jordm]

Heartland 14x03 - Making Amends

We get to see Lily, with flashbacks of her saying of what a good place she’s in... but we know thats not likely to last so, here we gooo

Ps. I love Megan Follows

So far i’m really loving the introduction with Amy just standing there with Lyndy watching the horses. So simple, yet this is something I can see Amber doing with the Spencer twins at her own farm. It’s like they told Amber to just hang out with Lyndy in between scenes and happened to be there to film it. Love the simplicity of it all, with Spartan and the newly and aptly named Shadow. 

As a total side note, i love Amy’s hair in a braid. It’s such a nice change from her hair being loosely down.

Anyways, Lily is here - or rather, Nana! And Amy does not look impressed. Lily was not there for any of the major events, even the funeral and Amy feels abandoned after Lily and Wade flat out ignored Amy’s attempts to reach out. Frankly, I don’t blame Amy - not attending your only child’s funeral and ignoring your daughter in law when they could have used their support. However I don’t doubt that Lily had a valid reason - perhaps a relapse - that she’s hiding and once Amy calms down she might be amenable to listening. The good news is, Lily wants to talk, and Amy wants to listen... she just needs to get over her anger first.

Jack goes to confront Lily and Lily confesses that she fell off the wagon... and hard when Jack told her about Ty’s death. And that’s understandable - if she can’t even help herself how can she be there for other people? She even ended up in the hospital. She’s sorry, and Amy is sorry but will it be enough? Just when it seems like things are slowly getting better, Lily mis-steps. 

Should she have offered the money? No. 

Should she have listened to Amy and not let Howler race? Also no.

HOWEVER, is she right that Amy should consider seeing professional therapy? Also yes. Sometimes an outside sounding board or someone you can yell at with no stake in it helps or gives perspective.

Despite Lily’s insistence that she did not come just for Amy to work with the new race horse Howler (Amy is not believing her), Amy agrees to work with the horse. Hey, even we even get a Cass mention. We may not see Cass but we hear that she’s busy being a new mom... so that’s uh something. I know Kaitlyn Leeb wasn’t on set at all this season so it’s still nice to know that Heartland is acknowledging her existence. 

After some research, Amy learns that Howler is spooked because he witnessed a fellow race horse crash into the barrier and he’s traumatized to be around any railings. Hey, doesn’t this ring a bell about the current theme of the season? Everyone has traumas, everyone has demons and everyone is still dealing with Ty’s death in their own way. Everyone is coping and dealing with it in a different way as they all had different relationship with Ty.

Chad, a big travel blogger, according to Lou, wants to interview her in part of Lou’s mission to make Hudson the new tourist city - but something tells me that this won’t good as smoothly as she anticipates. She convinces Jen to work the weekend to get the dude ranch in shape and look who else is here... PETER! When Chad also arrives, Lou conveniently gets a last minute meeting and pushes Jen into showing Chad around and Jen isn’t happy. I also don’t blame her - she already had to change her plans twice because of Lou. 

Lou gets her amazing blog post by Chad, but the townspeople (unfairly) criticize her for fulfilling her one election promise - to put Hudson on the map - because of course she wants to increase tourism - her family has business in Hudson and it shows she’s not fully committed to the town. Is the criticism fair? No, not entirely, but at a certain point if you’re in politics you gotta just shut out the noise right? You will never be able to make everyone happy.

Side note: Jen and Peter broke up? GG Jen, it was nice knowing you. I hope the writers don’t put Lou and Peter back together they are so much better as co-parents!

This leads to an argument between Amy and Lou that while Lou the mayor is evident, Lou the sister is not. Amy needs her sister and Lou, while being busy with town with the positive of avoiding facing her feelings about Ty’s death, has just not been around. Lou lost a friend and a brother in law and Lou is dealing with her grief by refusing to think about it - denial. I hope to see more of how Lou deals with her grief.

We saw how Amy tried to talk to Lou while working with Howler, only for Lou to be pulled away, so I see where Amy is coming from. Likely, as Jack says, Amy’s anger is that she feels like other people are avoiding what she feels everyday and she feels it’s unfair and people are making excuses. Fact is though, everyone is grieving the loss of a loved one the only way they know how - and while they may not completely understand how the other is grieving, I do think a little understanding would go a long way (without feeling sorry for the other person).

Meanwhile Parker is running around turning off lights trying to save their eco footprint, to Jack’s annoyance. She suggests the idea of solar panels (my uncle has solar panels and it does save a lot of money!) and while Jack doesn’t love the idea, Lisa is into it. However, eventually Parker coaxes Jack to buy solar panels and i’m beginning to love their relationship! 

By the end of the episode, Jack is fed up with Parker when she gives him the wrong measurements and tells Parker that people on the ranch are dealing with much bigger things that solar panels. Harsh, i mean but... not false. Parker was just there in the wrong place at the wrong time and I don’t think Jack really meant to lash out at Parker that badly. 

It ends with a giant explosion. Is Lily going to be okay? My gut says yes. Imagine if Lily dies and the guilt Amy will have on top of it since she told Lily to go away. That won’t be pretty.

However, I do believe Lily will be okay and the next episode is the explosion where they work together to save the horses, so I am looking forward to seeing how the explosion works to make amends between the family.

I also hope that all the horse cases for the rest of the season don’t have to do with grief and maybe allow Amy to have some fun and learn new skills. I’d hate it every horse had a trauma related to death - I know its supposed to relate back to Ty’s death but we can have an episode where Amy has fun one time right?

#heartland #recap

[wannabepygmalion]

30 factoids let’s gooo

( i just felt like doing these for fun... seeing briar do it + the ask memes got me thinking and i had the urge lmao )

1. His favorite Sanrio character is Cinnamoroll!! Also a fan of Marumofubiyori and Pompompurin.

2. Domino enjoys some music from pretty much any genre, but his favorite music usually is of the pop rock-pop punk-rock umbrella of sounds. He likes music that you could shout along to for Emotional Release (even though he will not actually do the shouting. he just still likes that vibe). 

3. He likes Animal Crossing. Probably doesn’t care too much about having a super finished and decorated island, but I imagine he tends to drift towards fall/autumn aesthetics and cottagecore vibes for what he does do… I think some of his favorite villagers would include Sylvana, Marshal, Teddy, Patty, Chief, Benjamin, Anabelle, Eunice, Shep, Hazel… he likes most of the Sanrio villagers too.

4. His favorite season is autumn, unsurprisingly.

5. Domino really likes dyeing his hair! He likes the sensation of looking in the mirror afterwards and his reflection feeling Different. 

6. He’s just so into art and art history. Once you get him to open up and he doesn’t feel like he’s annoying you, he will happily talk your ear off about (checks watch) the Corinthian order of Ancient Greek architecture. 

7. Also he does enjoy himself a little K-pop. He’s not super, super into it, but he has some groups he follows. Likes some songs he comes across. This is largely because I like to think about what kind of idols he’d bias since I”m so into it. I would name some groups he’d like, but I doubt any of them would still be around by 2030--

8. Growing up, his family never had any pets! Too busy. I think, honestly, Domino’s maybe never lived in a household that had pets, only met other people’s briefly. He would enjoy having a pet someday, but right now he doesn’t feel stable enough or like his life situation is good for a pet.

9. He has a couple fake succulents in his bedroom. He is currently too nervous that he’ll accidentally kill one and feel awful about it to try looking after a real plant.

10. His roommate’s name is Atlas! Atlas is a Twitch streamer who’s been getting more popular recently due to Minecraft roleplay, and is also a musician. Atlas’ online handle is Bird; his real identity is not public information.

11. Which. Yes, Domino has played Minecraft. But only on creative mode. He thinks it’s fun to build when his brain needs to chill, not really here for combat and all that.

12. He has a tattoo of a larkspur flower on one of his forearms; he got this pretty recently! Within the last 3 months or so.

13. He is banned from every Jamba Juice. If you ask him about this, he will either avoid it or tell you a different story every time.

14. Domino is actually really good at drawing as well as sculpting, but he heavily prefers sculpting. He’s been drawing for longer, but, when he first tried sculpting, something about it just clicked with him that he’d never experienced prior. 

15. He doesn’t drink alcohol, nor does he consume caffeine!

16. Atlas is also a faceless streamer -- his audience doesn’t know Domino exists beyond Atlas mentioning he has a roommate. Domino would like to keep it that way as much as possible.

17. He’s not a big spender… a good chunk of the money he earns from working goes to general life expenses -- rent, groceries, etc. He is not rich by any means. Money that’s leftover gets put away for when he needs to buy more art supplies; he spent a hot minute saving up for his tattoo since he wanted it to be nice.

18. Domino has an Instagram, but he doesn’t really do the “social” aspect of it. He just uses it more like a portfolio to post his work. Doesn’t respond to comments or anything, doesn’t look at it otherwise.

19. In general, he kinda avoids social media besides, like. Youtube and Twitch, and even then, he’s a diehard lurker for everything. He has spent some time browsing R/ddit, though, because it’s a decent place to see people talking about extremely specific experiences. Been on some specific forums too. Sometimes stuff like that makes him feel more validated and shit. Only valid R/dditor on the planet, etc. He absorbs other internet culture via osmosis from Atlas anyway.

20. He doesn’t drive! He still has a license for the sake of having a valid ID, but doesn’t drive with it. Doesn’t even have a car.

21. He has an older brother, who’s an engineer. He’s a couple years older and is off married somewhere else having an extremely normal life. Domino is estranged from his brother and has never met said brother’s wife. Probably didn’t even go to their wedding, honestly.

22. Domino doesn’t do commission work! He just kinda… does things at his own pace, then displays and eventually sells his work when it’s done.

23. The agent Domino works with is an older woman who works at a local art gallery that kinda took him under her wing. For obvious reasons. I mean, look at him. Her name is Veronica McCoy. Yes, I just took two names from Riverdale and slapped them together.

24. He doesn’t believe in soulmates! Or love at first sight, for that matter.

25. Domino’s usual typing style is actually a lot more laid back and casual -- no capitals, more prone to shortening words, etc. However, he types a lot more formally when it’s appropriate and/or he’s not comfortable with everyone in the convo. Similarly, he’ll loosen up a little in-person as he grows more at ease with you. To no one’s surprise, he will not give anyone nicknames unless they tell him to call them something else… he doesn’t want to offend.

26. Yes, he can and will swear if he’s comfortable with you. Yes, Domino can and will say ‘fuck’ -- though, he doesn’t throw it around constantly like some of my other characters. 

27. Domino has read a translation of all of Ovid’s ‘Metamorphoses.’ He loves that shit.

28. I think cows are one of his favorite animals… he just thinks they’re cute and have very sweet faces. He never wants to touch T/kTok (or its future equivalent) with a 10-foot pole, but he would be very pleased if you sent him videos of cute animals. Curated content with none of the stress.

29. When very focused working on something, he tends to stick his tongue out. :P

30. Some plants I would associate with him include: cyclamen, columbine, and meadow saffron!

#ooc ; #domino factoids ;

[frogkeyboard]

tw vent dump abt my parents

alright pent up hatred towards my mom time lets gooo

lil bit of background: today we were in the car and we were talking about whether or not kids movie villains deserve redeeming qualities—im saying no because we dont need to teach young kids that people who hurt them are inherently good, she's saying yes because of whatever idk

then she argues "well people who are bad find jesus all the time!"

she's WELL fucking aware i dont believe in god (makes me participate in church anyways because Her House Her Rules)

this made me very uncomfortable obv as i just got hit in the face with an implied "people who aren't christian are Bad<3" after a better than usual day with her and just ??????

i just broke down like ten minutes ago after realizing i have a major feeling of needing to prove myself valid all the fucking time and that is caused by her and my stepdad

last year my stepdad profusely tried to prove to me that my politics are bad and liberals Dont Support Gay People and Republicans Do but ALSO he doesnt believe gay people are morally correct so dude. what the fuck

i remember telling him that telling queer kids that you think they are incorrect and you dont think their "choices" are right/biologically correct can scar and he told me to knock it off bc that's bs :)

i live in a conservative family and so often i hear stuff about what These Liberals are doing and how awful they are with everyone knowing i am guess what ! also a liberal

i have to explain myself and validate myself to people i should be able to look up to over extremely vulnerable things

i have internalized homophobia and im afraid of sharing my opinions and im so so fucking angry at everything all the time and its all their fault

i leave for my dads house tommorow so if it gets bad enough i might tell him because hes an ally and also liberal and could probably help me with. something

my biggest fear is im going to go to him for help and hes going to justify what they're doing and ill realize i was alone the whole time

im just so fucking tired.

#vent #tw vent #vent tw #rambles #if anyone reads this and is concerned about me #im good! just angry and have an inferiority complex im not gonna do anything

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 9 Part 2

aaaannnnnd we’re back!

every time i watch this i feel more and more sad that not every trainee got to debut esp as we narrow down the amount of boyos who’re here

bc theyre all so talented :(

but anyways

my phone’s not plugged in, i have water, my m&ms are gone

as mr long ass ride mark lee himself would say, lezgeddit

there are two?  maybe 3 stages left?

awww yixing is so cuteeee

his and jiang dawei’s greeting was so cutee

REBUILD DSATAEAGE

REBUILD STAGE

REAAKJG;ALKFJ;EAWFPOAWHE

MINGMING IN THIS SUIT HHHHH

kajs;flkds why does wenhan look like a disapproving mother im screaming

oh my goooodddd

hes literally doing the most before competing with bo yuan for it i

prince charming is so extra

everyone just watching him adlfjsdklj

shenshen is literally like the epitome of ......

ok i get that like “the competition is fierce” or w/e but also hanhan looks so soft in that sweatshirt im *pleading emoji*

afdjasdkl; shenshen moving in the background like a crab kills the man

pretty koala UwU

mingze mingze mingze

he holds free rent free realestate in my head

asklkdfl;aksdjf;ads the face that shenshen makes i

bittch me too the fuck

how does mingming look good blurry i hate it here

rabbit teeth baby boy im love himmm

also this is like the first time hanhan is competing for center so this inch resting

i hate them alfjalskdj

“we should stand handsomely”

mingming looking into the camera like hes in the office

falksjdfas;lkjf li zhenning said i am not having any of this shit turn around nerds

kadsj;lfkajsd them saying “i know who yangyang is going to choose”

the WAWWY SHENSHEN’S VOICE CRACKED I LOVE ONE (1) MAN

i love how the boys are imitating yixing 

shenshen is loving this

mingze is having too much fun i love to see it

akdsjf;lkas why cant i get a good picture of wenhan looking like a prince lakjdf;ks

bo yuan almost went into cardiac arrest alkfjalksdj

oh my god shenshen T.T

hes babie

li wenhan is a dramatic rabbit aldkfjaslkd

chunyang baby bbird imlove him

wkeakjskew chunyang what the fuck was that alskljfas

wenhannnnn

shenshennie is the cutest im *smiling face with three hearts*

*insert kermit holding the phone with hearts meme*

al;ksjdfklasdjf at this point i feel liek yangyang is just trying to fuck with wenhan

which

valid

ajsdlkfjadskjf he’’s so disappointed aldjkfslkad

mingze i have a ring just say the word

MIANGASKDJFA;SKLD

MINGZE’S FACE I

its really bully xixi hour in the groupchat

alkdjfaksd

i want a social media au for this stage adksjfskdj

i can jsut imagine them roasting xixi on twitter a ajds;faklsjd

xixi is babie

the proof is in the playback footage alkdfjalksjfd

hes like y e e t  gotta gooo

;lajsf;lkasjfasldk mINGMING OH MY GOD

MINGZE IN THE BACKGROUNADS FLAKDJFL;KADSJF;LKADKJF

bububuubbubu

alkkjfadsk

xixi: “[ymm] bullied me :(”

ymm: “like hell i did”

LI WENHAN DID NOT JUST CALL ZHENNING A SEXY KOALA

....he called himself king of stage

i hate him

i know ive probably mentioned it before but the fact that i get mickey d’s commercials in chinese is kind of hilarious

STAGE TIME STAGE TIME

STAEAGKAW;KLERJEA TIEMA

IM READY

god wenhan looks good

i want to preface this with an i have watched this stage a lot like a lot a lot

*jolin tsai voice* li zhenning

yangyang’s hair oml

mingmign pleaes

mingze pelase

my boys look so good

ugh the floral and gray suit i think abou tthis look A LOT

i cant get over the fact that ash calls xixi chicken legs

shenshen please i love you

wenhan that outfit ugh

LET ME SHOW THE WAY TO UUUU

BEATING ALL THE TRICK FOR YOUUUUU

NO OH OH OH OH

god they look so good

yaaas yangyang!!!

im so proud of him

i cant get over this stage ever its so good

i love everything about it

mingze ugh im so love

his rap is so good please im in love

literally mingming please

god theyre good im T.T

bo yuan with the mf high note we love 

he changxi what the FUCK WAS THAT MOVE

THROUGHT THE FIRE FUCK

UGH I LOVE THIS STAGE

LITERALLY MINGMING LOOKED SO GOOD

YOU GUYS

YOU G U Y S

MY BIAS IS OUT HERE AND I AM SCREAMING

one of my favorite stages i swear to god

awww linmo sipping on his fruit milk drink UwU baobeiii

there we go!!!  got my prince charming picture finally

whoever put him in bright pink lipstick deserves an oscar

that was a genius move and i lvoe it

god that crowd feels too close to the stage for me

home town time!!!!

mingze and wenhan from the same hometown?

mabye anyways

hes from ne china

can i visit shenyang imperial palace please its so pretty pleeeaaaassseee

the strange slope what the fuck thats 

i have to look it up after this so i can find out why it does that

no one knows!?

its one of 3 mysterious mountains apparently in that area

gotta go to shenyang i guess and see it irl

mingze did not adslkjfasdlkjf

zhennings turn and mingze goes “koala, which forest do you live in”

i hate them

arent you from the same company????

weirdos

shenshen smiles so much in this episode i love to see it!

chaoshan steamed vermicelli roll

looks so ooooo good

thats so cute that shenshen got to talk about his local dialects and phrases i love when theyre able to do that!

ramen time ramen time

mc jin is so fun genuinely i do love him and his personality

wish we couldve gotten him for qcyn2

MAZE!!!

wenxuannie-ah

guan yue

wang zhe!

oh my god theyre arranged by height

a;dfjalksdjfasd guan yue just hid ding feijun in the head im screaming

wenxuan looks like he wants to die adlfkjfskl

OH MY GOD I DIDNT REALIZE HE WAS THAT TALL I NEED SEVERAL MINUTES

he’s 6′0

i uh

yeah

so maze!

oh thats right

wenxuan was part of the tinder stage before getting voted out

yikes

uhhhhh

yeah

if he stayed all the yuehua boys wouldve been together for the first time since their audition stage right

yieks

anyways

jesus wenxuan stop being a bitter old man

fl;jkas;lkfdjas f

guan yue: maybe if you ate some fruit you would calm down

gy and dfj are really trying their best to make the other guys feel better but its not working :/

everyone else: complaining

din feijun pretending not to hear them: ANYWAYS

wenxuan literally looks like “if these cameras werent here right now i swear to god”

asdkfjasdklfjasd

chengze i

OH MY GOD

GUAN YUE DIDNT

“IF YOU WANT TO CRY GO CRY IN YOUR DORMITORY” IM

OH MY GOD IM IN LVOE WIT H WENUXANNN

not news but i feel like i needed to restate it

dkasfja;lksdjfasd wang zhe’s i

i die

“you know.  wow.” *soft clap*

everyone else: ......

aodsjfaksld

this is so much funnier than mc jin making zhe mimick him

l;kajds;lfkasdj everyone looks so disappointed

asjdfjaskdfaj;skdl guan yue is so tinieeeeee

i love him

li zonglin is really complimented by the yellow color of the maze group

oh my gooooddd

can i pleaaaassseee hang out with guan yue for like a day???

hes so adorable

i just wanna smooch his forehead and squimpsh him cheeks

lowkey

lowkey

its super cute how guan yue said “from the moment they walked in they were my teammates and so they all have to embrace the childlike happiness of this song”

sorry what the fuck???

is that all we get for the practice for maze???

fucking rude

but anyways

the opening is super nerdy aldkfjsdlkj

oh my god they put a heart in wang zhe’s hair im emo

wenxuan looks good in purple

honestly i think zhe and wenxuan kinda suit this stage a lot

but thats whatever aklfdj

he looks so cuuuuteeee

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME WENXUAN MADE A HEART WITH HIS ARMS AND IQIYI CUT AWAY FROM HIM

CRIMINAL ACT

ugh this stage is so cuteeee

awwww they put little colored somethings in their hair im soooo fucking sofft omg

ak;ldjfakds baobeeeiiii

hes so cuteeee

THEY GAVE HUAIWEI GREEN HAIR FOR TINDER AND IM JJST NOW FINDING OUT

CRIMINAL ACTS ARE OCCURING HERE I SWEAR TO GOD

oh my goddd

wang zhe with the arm heart im emoo

im going to gif the fuck out of this stage on god

oh my god this is the best stage bc its so cuteeee

oh my god the lil paws iiiii

its so cuteee

alkdfjasdklf he’s the big bad monsterrrr im akjfa;lksdj;fasfdk

omg theres a lil heart on zhe’s face too i

guyyysss

this was the best stage of this round bc it was so cute and fun i love it

i would die for any and all of these boys and you can quote me on that

hometown time!!

shi zhan and guan yue are from the same hometown

ooohhh prettyt

ciqikou is a place to visit

aslkldjfalskdjf wenxuan’s “wahow”

they keep zooming in on wenxuan swallowing adlkfjasdl;kjf

shi zhan really said if you find that the small noodles from chongqing taste like anywhere else’s its on sight*

*me eating the noodles

li zonglin and ding feijun are from hong kong!  cool cool cool

i deffo want to go there

me and wenxuan have the same braincell

oooh those foods look so good

next stage!

time stage

longhan looks

GO OD

they really called themselves 8 treasure porridge apparently

my eyes are literally only focused on longhan thoooo

not to be ugh im in love with longhan

but uhhh

:)

ok perhaps my eyes stray a tad to shao haofan but for the most part

longhan focus

if this man starts crying all bets are off

fucking

xu fangzhou is making me cry into my ice cream i HATE IT HERE

fuck is everyone in the training room crying now

shit fine i guess i’ll cry now

yeah we crying

keep scrolling 

if i start laughing i’ll start sobbing even tho this part isnt sad anymore

i literally hate it here

ok stage time

v steampunk opening

xu longhan i *ring emoji*

idk why this is giving me mafia!au vibes but it is

yaaassss sijian omg

fangzhou’s voice is really nice

longhan’s legs are so long

like i knew this but still

im in lvoe with him

thanks for coming ot my tedtalk

fangzhou is really putting his heart and soul into this performance

longhan like

you giuyyys

im sorry i love a man in velvet

i blame yanjun for my love of men in trench coats

fully and 100%

their set was really fucking cool to look at tho

wyh do lian huaiwei keep looking not happy :(

hometown time!

i love them teasing longhan about his accent alkd;jfasldkj

he takes it really well

results time already??

wowowow

who got no. 1 in each team

oh or not ok then

who is that guy?? again the cultural background i do not have

if next episode is another elimination episode i swera to god

anyways!  that’s it for this episode!!!

thank you for reading!!

stay safe and stay healthy <333333

#unine's run #youth with you #ywy #cpop #idol producer #e9 p2 #jae.txt #jae.wwm

[softforcal]

could you do slytherin!cal and hufflepuff!luke poly!cake x reader xxx

-okay so readers house isnt specified, i’ve done I’m pretty sure the only reader house i haven’t done is Gryffindor and i could feel this vibe hard core so lets gooo

-you’re this gorgeous Gryffindor and people’s love for you goes cross house, like everyone appreciates how amazing you are

-Hufflepuff!Luke absolutely adores you and you’ve been friends since first year

-Slytherin!Cal is a more recent friend, but he is head over heels for you too

-you usually hang out with Cal and Luke but sometimes Slytherin!Michael or Gryffindor!Ashton will tag along too

-but usually just you, Luke and Cal

-people are kinda confused by you three being friends

-Slytherin’s usually stick to their houses so Cal being friends with both you and Luke is kinda odd

-Cal is so protective over you and Luke though, like even as friends, if anyone tries to talk shit about the three of you being buds, this Slytherin!Quidditch Captain will fuck them up

-you and Luke are best buds with Cal so of course the two of you are always invited to Slytherin Quidditch after parties (no Slytherins can argue about this either because Cal will fuck them up)

-usually you keep the partying and dancing pretty PG

-but after a huge win for Cal, you he and Luke are dancing and Cal gets a little friskier than normal

-his hands go to your hips as he pulls your back close to his front

-Luke looks a little confused at first but you pull him closer to your front

-you’re sandwiched in between them

-then Cal’s lips are on your neck

-Luke looks a little confused by that too but then one of his hands is cupping your face and his lips are on yours

-you’re surprised but you go with it for a moment before realizing, like what the fuck is happening and you pull away from them both, pushing through the crowd and leaving the Slytherin Common Room to a hallway where you can get some air

-of course Cal and Luke are right behind you ready to apologize

-”Y/N im so sorry-” “i don’t know what came over me-”

-”guys calm down.” you laugh, “i just needed a breath, let me think for a moment.”

-they kinda just stand there while you take a few deep breaths

-once they deem you calm, Luke grabs your hand and just smiles slightly at you, “what are you thinking?”

-”i think you guys are both my best friends and i don’t want to ruin a friendship with one of you by choosing between you.” you stated.

-i mean, valid point. they’d always known that they were both into you but never really talked about it, but they get what you’re afraid of so…

-”i understand.” “me too.”… “do you want to go back and enjoy the party Y/N?”

-you opt out to leave because you really need to just process what happened. they watch you go and Luke sits on the floor, Calum following suit, its about time they actually talk about it

-”so uh… how do you want to do this?”

-they end up talking for hours about everything and they’re such great buds and they both agree that the three of you are such a great team and they don’t want to ruin that either… but what if they don’t have to

-”we could both date her?” “yeah, i mean, i wouldn’t be jealous.” “me neither.” “we both enjoy her so well already, it would just sorta be another step.”

-the next morning you leave your common room to go to breakfast and find both your boys sitting in the hallway waiting for you

-”hey.” Calum says, hugging you and kissing your cheek, then Luke hugs you with a grin “how did you sleep?” “fine…. what’s up you guys?”

-”we were thinking… what if we both date you?”

-”you guys gotta stop surprising me with stuff.” you laugh, obviously kinda freaking out again

-they both grin and pull you into a big hug, but it feels so right, between your guys

-”and you guys wont be jealous of each other? i mean, come on Cal, you’re a Slytherin, you guys are kinda known for being possessive and aggressive and-” Luke steps in like: “are you trash talking Calum?” and you and Cal are both so shook that Luke just stood up for Calum when usually its the other way around, that you’re all laughing

-in that moment you know that it will work out

-”okay.” “okay? just like that?” “just like that.”

-so Luke grabs your hand and Cal’s arm goes over your shoulders and the three of you walk down to breakfast grinning like idiots

-the three of you sitting across from Ash and Michael and Michael’s just like “you three are too happy.” and Ash is like “no they’re always this happy.” and Michael rolls his eyes like “yes, but we can’t see both of Calum’s hands.” and thats when everyone else notices that Michael is a genius because Calum totally has one of his hands on your upper thigh (Ashton straight up looks under the table to catch Cal with his hand on your thigh)

-but it’s so new and how do you even describe it to people. i mean, ya’ll haven’t even had a date or anything so? i mean? are they your boyfriends? are you dating them? what do you even say?

-Cal saves the day with “Ashton it’s not my fault you don’t have friends who let you touch their thighs.” and of course this distracts Ashton because they have a semi bickering love hate relationship and then Ash gets defensive like “yes i do!” “oh yeah who? the only person i ever see you sitting next to is Michael.” “don’t drag me into this Cal.” “Michael i’m going to grab your thigh and i need you to not fight me on this.” “what the fuck Ashton!?”

-there’s only a few places to go on dates at Hogwarts lets be serious, so you probably end up somewhere at Hogsmeade

-starting at Honeydukes where they both buy a bunch of candy that you then all share while walking around

-its probably snowing and it’s cold as fuck but they both want to hold your hands or something so Cal’s hand goes into your back pocket and Luke holds your hand in your jacket pocket

-having to let go of one of their hands to eat candy and they get annoyed of that so they just begin to feed you

-cute, soft, snowfall dates with these boys is my life okay?!

-Cal sees someone he knows and leaves you and Luke to go talk to them for a bit

-while he’s gone Luke pulls you to his chest and is looking down at you, and of course (as always) he looks like a complete angel and then you find yourself kissing him

-Cal gets back and is grinning like “what, i don’t get a little sugar too?” and you laugh, pulling him into a kiss

-could you imagine if you still had a candy in your mouth and to be funny you push it into his and he just laughs his ass off because you actually gave him some sugar

-so much soft laughter with these two

-i am so soft for cake

-and you’re all so cold getting back to Hogwarts and Cal convinces you and Luke to sneak into one of the prefects bathrooms for a hot bath

-”come on Gryffindor, aren’t you supposed to be brave?” he teases, and then you and Cal are both dragging Luke to the bathroom

-”guys we shouldn’t be doing this.” Luke warns

-but then you and Cal are taking Luke’s clothes off and your clothes all end in a pile as you and Cal are wading into the hot soapy water and Luke just stands there shuffling before deciding to join

-and so begins the corruption of Hufflepuff Luke by a Slytherin and a Gryffindor

-Cal comes up with ideas of things for you guys to do and manages to edge you into it by bringing up “Gryffindor is the house of the brave!” and then the two of you corrupt Luke, never force him, but how can he just not sometimes?

-anyways, back to the bath, i won’t get into the schematics of water not being lube but seeing you as exposed as they ever have gets them both a little wild and horny

-ya’ll really wanna fuck but hold off because it’s still new

-but the sexual tension is super obvious, especially from Cal who practically growls whenever you do anything sexy

-somehow, on the same day, Ashton pulls Luke aside and hands him some lube (Luke gets hella flustered) and Michael just throws a bottle of lube at Calum who just laughs

-both guys meeting up with bottles of lube and being so confused that the other two had lube but neither of them did?

-neither of them really wants to think about why Ashton and Michael both have lube but Cal starts to get really vivid images in his head and he gets this haunted look every time Ashton is around

-Cal and Luke gotta figure out where they’re even going to fuck you the first time, i mean, there are dorm rooms and unless you plan it to make sure no one is going to just show up in the middle, its a tough one

-so where do they even fuck you?

-one day Luke is walking through the school and just stops, turning and looking at where a door has appeared, he opens it and finds a room with a large bed. room of requirement is a wingman yo

-”hey Cal, i found a place.” “oh yeah where?” “the room of requirement.” “Luke you can’t be serious.”

-they go check it out and Cal laughs his ass off

-later that night they bring you there and then you and Cal are both laughing your asses off and have to assure Luke that you both love it but its just funny that the room decided to help ya’ll get laid

-they both pull out the Lube, of course the one Michael gave Cal is some weird as fuck wizard flavour like Turkey Dinner or some shit that actually tastes like turkey dinner so you all choose Ashton’s mundane, muggle, flavourless lube

-its kinda awkward at first because this sort of thing does take some planning for the first time.

-you’re all on the bed and then Cal just sits up, opens your legs, gets between them and starts kissing you

-Cal’s grinding against you and you’re both moaning and you move your hand to try to find Luke but somehow you hand lands on his cock and then he starts groaning too

-they both just sort of work on a different part of you

-Cal proving he’s a master of eating a girl out while Luke kisses you and grabs your tits

-DP where you’re riding Luke and Cal is behind you (DP = double penetration)

-Cal is dirtier than Luke and that becomes obvious from the first time Cal’s hand lands down on your ass and Luke’s eyes widen as he looks at Cal over your shoulder

-its actually amazing and you all end up just cuddling after

-Luke needs a lot of pampering so probably you and Cal lying on your backs, Cal’s arm around you while Luke cuddles into your side with his head on your chest

-who would have fucking known that a threesome between a Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Slytherin would be so hella?

-they were serious when they said they wouldn’t get jealous of each other

-like so much happiness and smiles and love

-Slytherin!Cal is more into exhibitionism than Hufflepuff!Luke so usually this is where the little push and convincing comes in

-you and Cal give each other a lot of hickies and Luke feels left out so you both adorn his neck too

-”so… turkey dinner.” “Michael we didn’t use your weird tasting lube.” “well how would you know its weird if you never tasted it?” “he caught you Cal.” “Luke shut up.”

-the only house who doesn’t have an opinion on you, Cal and Luke is Ravenclaw because they’re the only house without someone involved in the triad

-the Hufflepuffs think it’s cute and they’re super accepting of Calum because since things got serious, he’s been even more protective of all the Hufflepuffs

-the Gryffindors love Luke but they’re all kinda confused about how Calum fits into the equation

-the Slytherins are also confused because Cal is their golden boy and he’s with a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff?!? no one saw that shit coming

-Calum gets you and Luke Slytherin scarves for when you’re both cheering him on when he plays Quidditch

-kissing Luke every time Slytherin gets a point

-partying with these boys when Cal carries his team to a win and then the three of you slipping off to the room of requirement or the prefect bathroom

-people being kinda jealous because you have the hottest Slytherin (voted three years in a row) and the Angel Faced Hufflepuff?

-long, warm, happy cuddles

-contented sighs

-fingers tracing patterns on skin

-fingers intertwining

-waking up to sunshine

-you and Luke hugging the shit out of Calum after every Quidditch game

-so many smiles

-so much love

-the first ‘i love you’ being whispered while cuddling

-you and Luke being there for Cal when he gets new tattoos that dance across his beautiful skin

-Cal totally having a Slytherin legacy ring that he slips on your finger even though its so big it almost falls off

-Luke and Cal notice how much you like the ring so Luke and Cal go find three, beautiful matching rings for the three of you

-them presenting the ring to you with grins and showing you that all of you have matching ones

-they do this thing where Cal spins you around and then Luke grabs you and spins you around and they take turns making you dizzy until you’re laughing so hard you’re almost crying

-happy tears only

-fuck it i’m just going to say Cal somehow has his own room. fuck it, i dunno all the rules at hogwarts. anyways, he has his own small room that he sneaks you and Luke into sometimes, usually the weekends when you don’t have class so you can all wake up next to each other

-Slytherins all just roll their eyes at you and Luke sneaking in because Luke is giant and gets caught like every time

-also if they say shit, Cal will fuck them up. 

-Cal is a horny morning person

-he just gets on top of you and buries his face in your neck while Luke grins

-soft kisses

-fluttering eye lashes

-lazy kisses

-all of you being so lovey dovey together but especially in the mornings when you’re all basking in the happiness of being together

-holy fuck i’ve just realized how long this is. i should probably stop.

-um… yeah, its cute as fuck yo

#calum hood #calum hood smut #calum hood x reader #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings x reader #hogwarts!au #hogwarts!5sos #hogwarts!calum hood #hogwarts calum hood #hogwarts!luke hemmings #hogwarts luke hemmings #hufflepuff luke hemmings #slytherin calum hood #hc #softforcal #cake #poly #cake x reader #5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings

[redvelvetcult]

ELLEEEE ARE YOU READY FOR THIS.... ZIMZALABIIIMMM 🤪🤪🤪 how are you my queen 🙆🏽‍♀️ ivveee missed ya, i always look forward to your posts i think a lot of people agree with me but youre just such a NICE AND FUNNY PRESENCE to have around 🙏🏽 im really curious, how have you been, hows life treating you and how has your everyday routine changed? Anything new in eletown? Ive applied for uni so thats a yay 🥳 but im back in germany after being home for 2 months and it sucks -_- -1♏

aHEYEYEYE ZIMZALABIM ZIM-ZIMZALABIM THIS IS LIKE THE MOST PERFECT ENTRANCE YOU COULD HAVE MADE \ajxdfdsk. HELLO hazelnut 💖 welcome back i missed ya too!!! eletown is close to ruins omg. not gonna lie these past months have been absolutely shit POOP mentally 😳 and im getting panic attacks constantly teehe 🤭 but how have u beenn???? lets go uni legend!!! lets get this education

___________________________________________________________

 About what you said, 100% if ill havemy ownkids ill definitely put them into some of those sports or music groups, so theyll understand those hobbies as a permanent presence in their lives and also just grow accustomed to being active in that sense since i feel like im heavily lacking exacy that jsbshdh but who knows... Thank you for your kind words 😭 but irl i can be a VERY passive aggressive isolating hobo so thats that hm :/ about the traveling thing I ACTUALLY AM GOING TO PARIS - 2♏

same aksdhfjds im gonna be like everyone’s sad bitch lets get u some hobbies!!!! i understand i think im like that irl too. it’s easier to express ourselves through the interweb 🤔 but it doesnt matter that doesn’t make u any less valid 💖

_________________________________________________________

WITH 2 OF MY FRIENDS IN JULY TO SEE NCT 🤧 and we'll also be staying at airbnb for 2 nights so thats gonna be a lot of firsts 😳 honestly its very daunting since its a foreign country and its our first alone and we'll probably camp overnight for the concert so if you have any tips pls share

OMMMGGG. you are going to see NCTSUS???? HAVE FUNNN!!!! GOOO CRAZZYYY AAAA GO STUPPPIIDD. tell taeil that i luv him. oh honestly it’s going to be tiring but i’m sure u are going to have an amazing time.

as for airbnb im guessing u have already booked it right??(in case you haven’t, make sure ur airbnb is close to a central station and in a relatively safe neighbourhood. also before you book, do ask your host any questions you have, it’s their responsibility to reply to you)!!!

more tips, generally hosts are very helpful so don’t be afraid to ask them anything, like how to get there etc and like if any of ur friends is more chill and sociable let them take the lead it’s going to be more relaxing for u!!! i can’t give u any tips for the cocnert cause ive never been to one 😭 but as an extra tip for travelling if your budget is not that big, get food from supermarkets and carry cleaning supplies w you(wet wipes etc)

_________________________________________________________

but youre so right, everything is progress even if sometimes it feels like im stuck in that SAME PLACE i was 3 years ago ive grown despite that we just gotta keep going and take things as they come 🤡 omg gay parties that sounds very fun ;-; hope i can go too omg day once i stop being such a baby. Its so wild to me safe spaces really exist where gays just approach each other thats unbelievable too good to be true... (also cant believe i missed your bday by so much but still hope it was nice💕 ♏4

exactly. despite not being that well we still here!!! we still hanging!! we still dumb bitches !!!! nobody can take that from us 😠 dont worry abt it. gay parties won’t end, u will be able to attend one when u feel ready!! really its crazy that safe places do exist but it’s so hard to get yourself out there and just go..PFT. NOTHING IT’S EASY. my bday was so miserable glad it’s over omg!!!! and now im officially a hag 💖

#I WAS WAITING FOR U

[extraterrestrial-hippie]

🔥

like 6 months after we moved into our apartment, half of our building caught fire (a small apartment fire had already happened not 2 weeks prior, same building side). Luckily, I was up at 1 am just messing around due to insomnia, and I hear people running upstairs and people shouting "FIRE, GET EVERYONE OUT" so I quickly hid all of our questionable shit just in time for a cop to knock on the door, I whipped that sucker open, freaked him out because it was like 2 seconds after he knocked that I opened the door. He was just like "Uh... well the buildings on fire how many people are in your apartment?" I said 3 people, 2 cats. "Get them all out as soon as you can."

I said okay, heart going mile a minute now, I run and shake my roommate awake and I'm like "We have to go, the building is on fire!" I start collecting some things(its January so it's FREEZING in Colorado). Walk past my roommates door, the bitch still sleeping! I wake her again, she's like "wait you're serious? i thought this was a prank!" (i'm a notorious prankster gfd, so she thought i was crying wolf lol) I'm like "NOT THIS TIME WE GOTTA GOOO"

She leaps out of bed, woken out of dead sleep and now in crunch time. I put my cat in his carrier, our other cat does not have a carrier as they usually go to the vet at different times so we're like "one should be enough." Dumb. She gets ready, my boyfriend is getting ready, I'm grabbing shit and stuffing it in my purse, i don't even have a bra on.

In 4 minutes everyone was ready to go but the question remained, "what do we do with the last cat?" I looked at my roommate, reached downed and picked up the cat, shoved her into her arms. Grabbed my keys, and we were out. We went to my car and put the babies in there. We didnt get to leave the parking lot until 6am, but the Firefighters did ask if we needed anything from the apartment, make it quick and make it easy they said. "There is a littler pan in my closet, its the room straight from the door, and my roommate's keys are right inside the door." no clothes, no hygiene products, no food, my roomate didn't even get to grab her glasses. They got those things for us and did a head count. We didn't get back into our apartment for a week.

We had no clothes, work uniforms, cat food, litter, food, soap or a n y t h i n g but our pjs and our cats. Luckily, I had lived with my uncle for a couple months and he LOVES cats so I called him up and asked if we could crash there since this happened, of course he obliged because he loves my cat man. The night of the actual fire at about 4am we called a friend and thank GOD he answered and gave us the okay to crash there for the night.

Our cats are so good, they ONLY used the litter box in the car, they didnt go to the bathroom on the seats or anywhere else. They cried at us until we got free of our parking lot and went to pick up cat food, its about 4am at this point. Put our food and water for em, they eat and drink, then lay down and sleep in the car. We got some food, shampoo, conditoner, the basics, and a caffeinated beverage. I drove to my uncles the next day (who lives 5 minutes away hell yeah) Cats settled in just fine, house is way better than car.

My roommate and I called our Managers (i have 2 jobs, one with the same manager as her, we'll call her Shannon), it was early so we both left messages at our workplaces. Shannon actually called my roommate in the morning to YELL AT HER FOR TRYING TO CALL HER SO EARLY IN THE MORNING LIKE WE DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH SHIT TO DEAL WITH and my roommates like sorry we were letting you know PLENTY in advance that we were unable to get to work since we had NOTHING? This bitch also asked for a SIGNED COPY FROM OUR LEASING OFFICE TO PROVE WE WEREN'T LYING since there had been a small apartment fire like 2 weeks earlier and they wouldnt let us in our apartment for the day. We were just like, "seriously? its on the news," she wasnt kidding. Our leasing office was even like, "really? that's a little extreme." Like no shit, you should meet Shannon, yikes. My roomate (after getting bullied by shannon at 8am) still had to attend work that morning; shannon upon her arrival said "sorry if i added any extra stress to your morning but seriously, no calls before 7am". I called my other job (i care for the elderly). They were all worried and offered if we needed a place to stay or shower that we could come to the office and they'd get some snacks (we have showers and beds to train caregivers on transfers and repositioning), the owner also offered his service and sent me a nice email. They also all saw it on the news and said "Well, we're going to put this in our list of valid excuses to call out of work!" THATS👏 HOW👏YOU👏MANAGE👏A👏POOR👏SITUATION👏 -_- Once Shannon saw it on the news, she was like "Lol, i didnt believe you! But now i do, that sucks." Thanks, SHANNON.

After 2 days our apartments gave us an emergency pack (still have it, GREAT idea to have) with some toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap and other necessities. We had to buy a complete new set of outfits, the stress from the situation was enough to make both my roommate and i start our periods in the car that morning and at one point my boyfriend snuck past caution tape and guards to get everyones work uniforms, menstrual cups for his babes, and a few other necessities so that we could still make money to buy all of the extra expenses lol (my hero 🖤). Our coworker invited my roommate for a shower before work and had everything she needed including an extra uniform, had breakfast, lunch, and coffee ready for my roommate when she got to work, and went to the grocery store after she got off to get us some supplies, also our hero 🧡.

They told us they expected arson when it happened but they never got back to us, but the guy responsible woke up his immediate neighbors and they said it was probably his wood stove. Shit eventually ended up working out, it's now October and they're still not finished fixing the building. The 6 apartments dehoused were rehoused in different units or moved. We're back, the cats are back, I'm just like damn good job team.

Moral of the story: If you think you're prepared, you're not, buy 2 cat carriers if you have 2 cats, insomia wins this round, getchu a man who isnt afraid to break in and get you period stuff. Also, work is hard to deal with sometimes but take care of yourself first. And HAVE A GO BAG THATS SHITS A LIFESAVER.

Thank you for coming to my FIREtalk

#long post #fire #apartment fire #cats #period came at worst time #fucking shannon #heroes #holy shit #so glad to be home #so glad my insomnia actually came in clutch #insomnia #pets #emergency

[deadcactuswalking]

Top 10 Best Billboard Hit Songs of 2021

#10

There are many, many reasons that a human could use to justify their enjoyment of a piece of media, and in this case, a piece of music. All of them are valid, regardless if you agree with them or not, because evaluating art is almost entirely subjective – what works for others will absolutely not work for some and that’s the beauty of art. In these lists of hit songs, many reasons for liking songs will reoccur, like there being an interesting or sweet narrative, high-energy instrumental, striking lyrics, a mood representative of the year as a whole, whatever people decide to say about a song, and that’s all valid. Usually, it’s a combination of many factors just clicking together. Now, one reason I don’t see picked up that often, but increasingly more in recent times, is... well, most people are horny.

#10 – “Cry Baby” – Megan Thee Stallion featuring DaBaby

Peak: #28 | Year-End: #77

Welcome to my list of my ten favourite songs that happened to make a notable impact on the Billboard Hot 100 in this year of 2021, a year shaped by the response to whatever the hell 2020 put us through and figuring out a new normal. So, how about we start off the list with a song from 2020 that represents no discernable trends from 2021? Sure, I mean, you know the main appeal of this song by listening to the chorus. It’s pure horniness from DaBaby and the cold, no-nonsense response from the badass that is Megan Thee Stallion, putting him down in an intriguing back-and-forth that’s pretty much a comedy routine. Honestly, for such a basic song, there are so many endearing intricacies to it. I mean, the beat, first of all, is a taunting, wildly uncomfortable sample of a baby crying with heavy 808s and trap percussion, but it knows what it’s doing. D.A. Got That Dope made the most basic beat possible because a comedy skit doesn’t need anything complex and it would distract from the bit if it had anything like that... and also, it’s a taunting beat, just ridiculously hypnotic, which strays perfectly into how exasperated DaBaby seems to be.

That ain’t DaBaby, that’s my baby

Baby plays the role of a man who thinks he’s more important and clearly more successful with the ladies than he really is, given that the woman doesn’t respond to his texts and he can’t even remember her name. Hell, when DaBaby lands on “Megan”, with a “Go!” ad-lib to confirm that’s correct, he continues to list names, which is just brilliant. Megan, naturally, responds by directly taking DaBaby’s lyrics and reversing them so that he seems even more desperate than he initially came off, also whilst confirming that her sex drive is powered by the tears of the men she has sex with. All of this combined with the fact the song just devolves into sound effects, exhausted grunting and the slapping of skin way too frequently for a top 40 hit just makes this love-less groan about no-strings-attached intercourse all the more worth listening to. P.S. I’m fuelled by DaBaby ad-libs... not by his bigotry though. LET’S GOOO!

#9

In lieu of introductions, I might as well just explain my thoughts on 2021 as a year in pop music and how songs get on this list as we go. As I said in the worst list, 2021 was insanely consistent in terms of its pop music’s quality, perhaps too consistent. For a year of important and constant change to the lives of American people, starting with an attempted coup and continuing across the year with a vaccine roll-out, I would describe 2021 as avenues being opened with a disclaimer of caution looming over you at all times. Therefore, some songs, whilst almost objectively awesome, are unchanging and felt kind of pointless putting on this list. I love “Save Your Tears” by The Weeknd and ESPECIALLY “Leave the Door Open” by Silk Sonic – would have been awesome to see Anderson .Paak make one of these lists considering how long I’ve been a fan – but 2021 isn’t about meandering retro throwbacks I’ve already discussed in length on my weekly REVIEWING THE CHARTS show covering the UK charts. 2021 is about what’s next on the horizon. Basically, Drake’s on this list.

#9 – “What’s Next” – Drake

Peak: #1 | Year-End: #68

I feel like I really have to explain this one, because on the surface, this doesn’t scream “best list”. Sure, it hit #1 but only for a week and it had less longevity than a dime-a-dozen Lil Baby collaboration he released the same day, with “What’s Next” becoming essentially a failed lead single that I doubt even Drake’s fans consider worthwhile. This song, however, really symbolises what I think 2021 meant for me, at least: progress, not just routine. 2021 meant taking yourself out of the 2020-enforced rut that culture just decided to push itself in for the year due to limitations and constraints outside of our command, and “What’s Next” being released about a year after all of that came hailing down on us kind of feels like a revenge plot.

I’m makin’ a change today / The liquor been takin’ the pain away

Drake is speaking on my behalf, I guess, as his typical blend of paranoia and flexing works for me in a way it never did before, especially if it’s going to be delivered in some of his tightest and catchiest flows yet, especially in that second verse. Sure, there’s your Drake-isms like when he feels the need to remind you that he is indeed having sex on the chorus, but there’s also some pretty intricate wordplay about his fame and success. The whole song is just an oddly uplifting three minutes, like a consolation prize for getting through 2020 with the knowledge that you’re onto better things the next year. Oh, and the beat being produced by a guy called Supah Mario makes complete sense because this is borderline chiptune, as the incessant bit music synths keep on rising under the stiff beat, like it’s being constrained but is plotting on how it’ll pierce through this dire trap cavern. Honestly, I can see a lot of parallels to what the producers on PlayboI Carti’s Whole Lotta Red were doing, it’s like a less depressing “M3tamorphosis”. It’s fitting to move on from a song that feels like revenge to one that feels like a victory lap, a song that sure feels like change has been made.

#8

#8 – “INDUSTRY BABY” – Lil Nas X featuring Jack Harlow

Peak: #1 | Year-End: #24

Ladies and gentlemen, we did it. We invented bisexual trap-rap. Jokes aside, this song has so much unfiltered bombast in its production that it would be on this list regardless of content or what it represents. The way Kanye’s horns bounce off of the pounding 808s and skittering trap percussion in a way not dissimilar to drill but with all the triumphant energy of late 2000s and early 2010s pop-rap, an era I would say I’m pretty nostalgic for, this hits the spot. And that’s before we get into the lyrics because after all, this is a rap song and... really, they’re nothing special. I mean, a flex song can’t be that relatable unless it purposefully doesn’t distinguish itself, with only a choice few lines from both Lil Nas X and Jack Harlow really standing out as their own character but even that is enough to burst through the claustrophobia of this instrumental with a grin on their faces and holding golden trophies. Lil Nas reveals his future ambitions, as he’s vying for every song to be a #1 hit, including a hypothetical Nicki Minaj collaboration which is obviously special for Lil Nas considering how he initially rose to Internet notoriety. Whilst “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” felt important and groundbreaking as it was explicitly about gay sex yet found its way into the hearts of millions regardless, it was also a dance-pop song more than it was a rap song, which wouldn’t really help his stance within hip-hop, although genre walls become increasingly thin with time. “INDUSTRY BABY” is an ode to being different in that it shows anyone outside of the mould of what it means to be a rapper can pull off what that mould is supposed to perform in spades, even exceeding them. “MONTERO” was very different, but “INDUSTRY BABY” is more of the same, and I think that shows a great deal of boundaries being pushed to the point of where Lil Nas X can just say he’s queer in the verse of a kickass trap banger and it won’t damage his streaming numbers. It’s just a Black man embracing his homosexuality fully in a genre so plagued with homophobia and toxic masculinity. If “SUN GOES DOWN” was a hit, it’d be on this list too, but for now, “INDUSTRY BABY” can have its spot, especially with that anthem of a hook and the only time I think Jack Harlow’s ever really impressed me on anything. Despite him only handling a verse, the chemistry is surprisingly there, all building up to complete this Earth-shattering three and a half minutes.

All these social networks and computers got these pussies walkin’ ‘round like they ain’t losers

It’s just the pure dismissal of every obstacle in the course that makes this one that much more powerful to me. What an awesome song. I swear the rest of the list isn’t all trap-rap, though, just happens to be the trend amongst these first few songs. Oh, and the next one.

#7

Look, I did say 2021 was consistent. So consistent in fact that a song on my worst list just also happens to be on my best list.

#7 – “Whoopty” – CJ

Peak: #10 | Peak: #50

Okay, so this isn’t “trap” exactly – it’s drill, a brand of hip hop that as a Brit, I am already very familiar with, but New York’s particular spin on the genre gained it a lot of popularity in these past two years, spear-headed primarily the late Pop Smoke and his collaborator, Fivio Foreign. This guy sounds like both of them if you boiled down everything that makes those two rappers interesting to the basic essentials, and as a result, the song is hilarious.

CJ is far from the first or best rapper to spit over this beat. After all, some of drill’s best rappers like King Von and the aforementioned Pop Smoke have rapped over this Bollywood sample in the countless “Exposing Me” remixes. The thing is, I’m not sure CJ is even a drill rapper; he seems like... just a guy. Before his big hit, he had barely anything but a dull trap song to his name, at least on Spotify, and now he’s just been chasing the gold he hit with “Whoopty” and honestly, what a song. Just the name of the song itself: “Whoopty”. It’s automatically comical, and that’s before you get to this dude’s Fivio Foreign impression delivering his nondescript lyrical themes in the most fascinating ways possible, not just in his delivery that sounds really desperate to impress me but in how he words some of his bars, especially in that chorus.

Blue cheese, I swear I’m addicted to blue cheese

The song is constructed in the most slapdash way possible, being barely two minutes and 90% chorus, apart from a brief verse and what I guess could be called a bridge, in which he just repeats part of the verse. The beat, produced by Pxcoyo and released quite literally as a “Pop Smoke type beat” weeks before CJ released this song, sounds really cheap and almost like it drops in the wrong places if you listen to it by itself, but given that CJ now has the challenge of reconstructing this beat into a catchy song, the whole track feels like a teasing high-energy build up to the release of that second chorus, which of course starts with...

WHOOPTY! Bitch, I’m outside, it’s a movie

It’s like it’s purposely built so that it provides as much comic relief as possible, especially with that looming “Whoopty” ad-lib that sounds like he had so much fun recording. It’s not like the content is all that interesting, either – or good, for that matter.

You can have your bitch back, she’s a groupie / She just swallowed all my kids in the two-seat

“Whoopty” is just one of the grossest, unintentionally comical and fully transparent hits of the year, a song filled with shame and no way to hide it. How awesome.

#6

I feel like in these past two years, ignoring country music has been impossible. It’s been a big couple years for the genre as the streaming audience is aging and Nashville is catching up with the times, so why try avoiding it now? I’m sure many music listeners, especially those outside of the US and Canada, claim to “listen to everything except country”. That was nearly me this year, which shouldn’t be unexpected as my favourite hit song from that genre last year was by a Trump supporter, and my second favourite was by Sam Hunt. This year I would have found myself picking between “Fancy Like” and everyone’s favourite racist, if it weren’t for a man who released two excellent albums this year, so let me take you to Church.

#6 – “Hell of a View” – Eric Church

Peak: #28 | Year-End: #91

Mr. Church released two excellent albums this year, Heart and Soul. I preferred Heart but the biggest hit was this cut off of Soul – both felt like mature albums with a lot of soul and unique songwriting that was really compelling coming from the wise voice of Eric Church. If “Stick That in Your Country Song” was a hit, not that it was trying to be, I’m not certain that it wouldn’t have topped this list, but alas, “Hell of a View” was the top 40 single and it’s still a great tale of the escapism that comes with teenage recklessness and a relationship based primarily in that idea that wherever they go, they’ll have each other if nothing else. Church is completely aware of the consequences of living this life but will write them off for now just so they can experience life – and love – as it happens. The retelling of the story sounds mature and self-aware, not out of a place of rose-eyed nostalgia but rather a wistful reminiscence with enough specific details to make it sound really detailed, surrounded by semi-exhausted clichés in the lyrics which may sound like an obvious attempt to court pop success but to me, just accentuates the odder, more specific details like his old Gibson and specifically this line:

I’m good at rollin’ dice, no good at standin’ still

By the final chorus, it’s no longer their lifestyle that’s not for everybody, but instead themselves, so with all the euphoria of the song, there is a looming threat that they’ve now wrapped themselves up in a lifestyle that forms their identity... but when they’re young, they’ve got no time to care for how people think of them, so why not live on? Oh, and it helps that it sounds great, as backing the narrative is a neo-traditional country rock anthem with some great fuzzy distortion on the guitars in the back of the mix and some of the best piano I’ve heard in the chart this year. Joanna Cotten’s presence on the backing vocals, especially during that atmospheric instrumental bridge, certainly doesn’t detract from it either. It’s a hell of a song. If you don’t agree, at least you can say it’s better than Gabby Barrett. Yikes.

Honourable Mentions

Before we get to the second half of this list, I’m going to list of all of my honourable mentions and strap in because God, there are tons of them.

First of all, it feels weird that three of the women who dominated 2021 are not anywhere to be seen on this list, those being Ariana Grande, Doja Cat and especially Olivia Rodrigo.

“good 4 u” – Olivia Rodrigo

Give actual Paramore a hit next year and we’ll talk.

“deja vu” – Olivia Rodrigo

I’m still amazed this song charted for as high and as long as it did.

“drivers license” – Olivia Rodrigo

It’s weird to think this song is less than a year old; feels like a lifetime.

“brutal” – Olivia Rodrigo

Elvis Costello wishes he could kick this much ass.

“Kiss Me More” – Doja Cat featuring SZA

Olivia Newton-John wishes she could have this much ass.

“Best Friend” – Saweetie featuring Doja Cat

I am consistently frustrated with how good a producer Dr. Luke is. Could a guy without rape allegations make this beat? I think not.

“Ain’t Shit” – Doja Cat

There are six Doja Cat songs in the honourable mentions yet somehow none of them are good enough to make the list proper. Make of that what you will.

“Need to Know” – Doja Cat

This one was really close, though. It kind of hurts to deny so many great songs made by women a spot on this list just because I wanted to make space for “Whoopty”.

“You Right” – Doja Cat and The Weeknd

Nope, the Weeknd isn’t on the list proper either.

“Save Your Tears” – The Weeknd, remixed by Ariana Grande

This one honestly soured on me, though I was sure it’d make the list when it first returned thanks to the video. I’m honestly not a fan of what Ari brings here either.

“34+35” – Ariana Grande, remixed by Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion

This on the other hand, is probably one of her best moments, as are all of the singles from Positions to be honest.

“positions” – Ariana Grande

Including this one.

“pov” – Ariana Grande

And especially this one, probably the most difficult cut. Once we get to other songs in the top half, these will seem particularly heinous.

“Afterglow” – Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran was good this year! “Bad Habits” does not exist, as far as I’m concerned.

“Yonaguni” – Bad Bunny

Don’t worry, we’ll be seeing Bad Bunny on the list proper – it wouldn’t feel like a correct list without him – but I did try and keep this to one entry per artist.

“telepatía” – Kali Uchis

I’ve been a fan of this woman for years and I repay her for the great music by not even letting her breakout hit scrape the list. God, I hope she sticks around in the mainstream.

“Made for You” – Jake Owen

I said that it was a big year for country, not a good one.

“Leave the Door Open” – Silk Sonic (Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak)

Too perfect. This does bring us to the R&B section of these entries, because R&B had an insanely good year that happens to not really be demonstrated on the list proper too well. Make no mistake, the genre was in full force.

“Heartbreak Anniversary” – Giveon

This is great but I’m sure Sampha is fuming.

“Peaches” – Justin Bieber featuring Daniel Caesar and Giveon

This would be on the list if the lead artist wasn’t on it, but if the lead artist wasn’t on it, it wouldn’t have been a hit. Funny how that works.

“Have Mercy” – Chloe

I’m pretty sure with more time to grow on me, this could have made the list too, but a top 20 may as well have been in order anyways.

“Wild Side” – Normani featuring Cardi B

I already pulled the horny card, I’m sorry.

“Up” – Cardi B

I’m 90% sure this song has been in my head for the entire year.

“You’re Mines Still” – Yung Bleu, remixed by Drake

This is the worst song in the honourable mentions but still one that I find massively endearing, which is odd because these two guys are perhaps the least likeable team-up since The Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber. More on that later. Oh yeah, Drake.

“Way 2 Sexy” – Drake featuring Future and Young Thug

I’m so glad Future has a #1 and I’m even more glad that it’s this absolute nonsense. On that note, here’s all the trap-rap I liked this year, because apparently I still can’t get enough of this garbage.

“Ski” – Young Thug and Gunna

This top 20 hit starts with the words “Spider, sex”.

“Straightenin” – Migos

These guys are still around and honestly, they’ve just gotten consistently better.

“Quicksand” – Morray

Again, a surprise breakout hit that I really hope proves for more long-term success for Morray.

“RAPSTAR” – Polo G

If “GANG GANG” with Lil Wayne was a hit, I’m not yet convinced it wouldn’t be #1.

“Hurricane” – Kanye West featuring The Weeknd and Lil Baby

Eh, this song is better in a compressed six-minute leak form with a full minute of Young Thug mumbling and a Big Sean verse. Yeah, I don’t know how either.

“Hats Off” – Lil Baby, Lil Durk and Travis Scott

This is the best song to be on this list that I somehow remember nothing about after listening.

“EVERY CHANCE I GET” – DJ Khaled featuring Lil Baby and Lil Durk

Maybe he is the best music after all.

“Back in Blood” – Pooh Shiesty featuring Lil Durk

Durk’s verse here is one of my favourite moments in pop music on the entire year-end list. It’s just that the rest of it is Pooh Shiesty. And finally...

“Opp Stoppa” – YBN Nahmir, remixed by 21 Savage

This barely charted but I’m pretty sure that in a far away parallel universe, this is the greatest song of all time.

#5

The fifth best hit song of the year goes to show that lightning can strike and people whose music I’m not typically a fan of can still get a fluke song that I end up connecting with. I say this because God, these guys suck.

#5 – “STAY” – The Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber

Peak: #1 | Year-End: #12

And I’m pretty sure the song also wants me to think that, given how desperate the two come off. This is one of the two songs on this list that are essentially just annoying teen angst anthems post-breakup and this is decidedly the most insufferable. The Mid YAOI yells in one of his brattiest tones over an unfittingly chipper synthpop beat, as he and the Canadian hologram perform a guilt-trip anthem to their respective girlfriends wherein they accept pretty much no fault on their end, but they should take them back because they can’t find anybody else as good as them. So, yeah, the lyrics are awful as are the performances, and really, the production, but it all sums up to create one of the most devastating songs to be a hit this year and for the sheer lack of rational thought that this song displays, that’s probably for the best.

The main synth lead is cute but driving, to the point where LAROI’s breathy falsetto delivery feels like it’s disrupting a peace and breaching through the calm, which is what the dude is doing by desperately begging for the girl back after she tries to move on. It really does sound like his cover art: an Australian guy in casual clothes in the rain begging for some girl who doesn’t care about him to “stay-ay-ay”. I’m surprised he doesn’t start screaming “Stella!”. Given that the song is produced by Cashmere Cat and Charlie Puth, I’m not surprised that this production has silly little details that make it worthwhile, like the pathetic excuse for a drum fill that leads Bieber in on his verse or the egregious Auto-Tune by the end of his verse.

And you know that I know that I can’t live without you, so baby, stay

With every “oh-ooh-whoa”, they sound less coherent and more detached, so it’s pretty fitting that Cashmere Cat breaks the instrumental in half by the final chorus, as it crashes into a fully-blown-out future bass catastrophe where each layer of Auto-Tuned vocal becomes inseparable from each other. It sounds horrible on paper, and at times it actually does sound horrible, but the way the instrumental recoups for that final repetition is just perfect to me. It’s an immature song by two artists I rarely hear anything good from, but it just turned out to be almost infectiously snot-nosed to the point where I cycle back to enjoying it for the pure ridiculousness of it. In a year where Machine Gun Kelly – and many others of the same ilk – tried and failed to replicate the angst of 2000s pop-punk, The Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber did it through barely two minutes of electropop.

#4

I took Spanish for a month or two in GCSE before dropping it and replacing it with geography. Naturally, I deem myself fit to discuss Puerto Rican pop music sang exclusively in Spanish. Hey, I didn’t write the reglas.

#4 – “DÁKITI” – Bad Bunny and Jhay Cortez

Peak: #5 | Year-End: #28

I’m not going to pretend I know much about Latin American music. Bad Bunny is probably the guy I’m most familiar with from below Florida but I didn’t know what a “Jhay Cortez” was even when this song was charting, and I’m not sure if I do now even. I just know him as the more nasal voice on this depressing sounding song. I guess the best comparison to make would be The Weeknd, but considering he’s decided to dip his toes in the Latin market by way of Ozuna and it sounds nothing like this, I’m going to assume this is the wave both of these guys are on, and God, I hope so because this is excellent.

From what I can tell by the translation and the vocal tones, this song is ostensibly about partying, taking drugs and hooking up with girls... naturally, his producer Tainy took that as an opportunity to blend what sounds like an eerie flute behind contorting bass convulsions and creaking percussion. In fact, the percussion is barely there, mostly manifesting in the form of a pulsing kick drum just constantly pounding whenever it’s there, implying that whatever narrative in this song has already gone too far. That synth bass that crashes into the chorus to disrupt the floaty percussion is just perfect, and I love the waviness of the synths that come in during the outro, which by the way, is surprisingly long and continues to develop with sounds that are pretty much how I’d describe an underwater Halloween. The song as a result just sounds wonderfully sinister, which is pretty fitting since Bad Bunny says that in exchange for a girl shaking her ass, he will devour her – the whole vibe is one of distrust, which is never great when it starts all sensual and lucid. Jhay Cortez croons that he will “swim in the deep end” with this woman, right before Bad Bunny isolates her from her friends and essentially admits to ruining her life. As he says in the terrifying bridge, she was studying to be a doctor but now she likes the “bad boys”, who happen to be these guys and they both sell it perfectly. There’s not really any other reason for this to be a duet other than to hear how well both of their voices, distinctive enough on their own, harmonise into a blend that when finally met on the final chorus, hits so hard. Oh, and the fact that the Spanish word for “but”, “pero”, is repeated several times here and sounds so much like “peril”, probably helps with making this song as much of a shark attack as it is.

#3

I warned you that there was a second post-breakup teen angst anthem coming up. Just turns out that people who’ve barely experienced anything made the best pop music this year.

#3 – “Happier than Ever” – Billie Eilish

Peak: #11 | Year-End: #94

This is also the only song on this list to have an official Sesame Street remix. The version of “Happier than Ever” performed on the show features guest vocals from Count von Count. It’s better than it has any right to be, especially since the original is a heavy song, not just in terms of its sonics but in terms of its lyrical content, a bitter and crushing “piss off” to the ex that made her miserable. Clearly Elmo should be singing it.

I could go into detail about the lyrical intricacies of this song – hell, I already have given this is one of six songs on this list that I’ve already covered to some extent on REVIEWING THE CHARTS – but every publication has discussed in detail Billie Eilish, whether it’s about her image, influence, or God forbid, the actual music. The two-minute radio edit doesn’t do the song justice either, and I think the only person who can is Billie herself, who parallels the progression of the guitars by warping her silky murmur into belts that cut other vocal takes short in their tracks. The whispered acoustics take a back seat to the crash of the distorted guitars that soar across the mix and combined with the chasm of drums, place a perfectly anthemic foundation for Billie to turn her intimate details and admittance of her fears of growth into a cathartic grunge sing-a-long with distant, desperate shrieks barely picking themselves up over the fuzz. The song ends with a pure fuzz, portraying the confused mind state of anyone in a situation where one person has tainted even the most miniscule of details in their life through their abuse in a way I’d yet to hear done this well. It’s honest and revealing in a way pop music really could be this year, and the longevity of this one really surprised me considering it barely has a chorus to speak of. This is just a masterfully written song, simultaneously a show of immense vulnerability and a vicious banger that kicks more ass than at least half of the rock charts nowadays. I know this segment seems shorter in comparison to the others, but if there’s a song that speaks for itself, it’s this one. Now onto another section of honourable mentions.

The Best of British

So as I’ve alluded to several times already, I cover new arrivals in the UK Top 75 every week on REVIEWING THE CHARTS, yet despite the increasing likelihood of songs becoming global hits in a time where everyone can access something on Spotify, the charts are still quite regionalised, and it’s not a guarantee that a song will become a hit in both the UK and the US. Therefore, I think it’s pretty necessary for me to list off some great songs that would have made this list if I happened to include the UK charts as a factor as well. Any song that I reviewed from December 2020 to October 2021 is eligible if it didn’t make the top 40 of the Hot 100, and I won’t go into much detail at all because, well, the whole point is I already have. In rough chronological order, we start with...

“Angels Like You” – Miley Cyrus

I completely forgot that Miley Cyrus released a rock album in late 2020 but this ballad has stayed with me, being a really complex, honest and brilliant look at a rough relationship that shows how adult relationships really just sometimes don’t work out, with few hard feelings between them.

“Show Out” – Kid Cudi, Skepta and Pop Smoke

Kid Cudi slides better on a drill beat than anyone expected him to. Pop Smoke’s death – and especially the mismanagement from his label on the posthumous work that at some points feels like it’s directly insulting the man for being murdered and having no power over his art as a result – still hurts.

“Be the One” – Rudimental featuring MORGAN, Digga D and TIKE

This is about as minimal as UK garage on the pop charts can get, and it’s really fun as well as being pretty evidently and explicitly British, as well as presenting a weird middle-ground between plastic pop perfection and gutter mixing. I have no idea what Digga D is doing here but I’m not complaining. You’ll see him at least once again in this list.

“Your Love (9PM)” – ATB, Topic and A7S

That guitar riff has been in my head for basically the entire year. It’s not even an original element of this song, but I’m a sucker for deep, soulful house if actually done right, and it so rarely is with the new slap-house trend so I’m glad this exists.

“Wellerman – Sea Shanty” (220 KID x Billen Ted Remix) – Nathan Evans

Americans, can you at least try to have fun?

“Burner on Deck” – Fredo featuring Pop Smoke and Young Adz

Fredo mentions coughing in a bar and then coughs. I’m easily impressed.

“Bringing it Back” – Digga D and AJ Tracey

Hey, fair warning: there’s going to be quite a bit of drill in this section. It’s what made up a LOT of the British charts this year, and it’s competing against basic, flavourless house-pop in terms of chart domination, so it’s going to kick ass just by comparison.

“MAZZA” – slowthai featuring A$AP Rocky

Flacko could do anything and end up on this list so it’s just luck he delivered a verse for the most unhinged rapper in the country and the only person out of Northamptonshire with flow. Hey, I’ve got to rep the county at some point.

“All You Ever Wanted” – Rag’n’Bone Man

This observatory track reminiscing on childhood memories just rockets by with its chugging post-punk groove and is by far the best song this guy has put out.

“test drive” – Ariana Grande

Sexiest interlude of the year, if it was even a competition.

“Ferrari Horses” – D-Block Europe featuring RAYE

I still do not know why RAYE doesn’t just rap instead as she is always at her best bringing her sultry cloud of a voice to hard-hitting trap. Young Adz appears on more songs in his list than I really want to admit, but I’m pretty sure by this point I just love the guy.

“On the Ground” – ROSÉ

I was really hoping more would come out of the BLACKPINK member’s solo efforts than just an EP but this is an excellently anthemic pop song so I can’t complain.

“Dimension” – JAE5 featuring Skepta and Rema

This song is from March. I told you pop music was good this year.

“Headshot” – Lil Tjay, Polo G and Fivio Foreign

I think I’m one of many people listening to hip-hop this year who learned that one of the greatest pleasures of 2021 was to start appreciating Fivio Foreign. Somehow this guy had an insane year without dropping a full-length solo project. Whenever that album is coming, I hope it lives up to his guest features. “Off the Grid” gives me goosebumps to this day.

“Cloud 9” – Beach Bunny

Beach Bunny is Weezer for TikTok lesbians. I refuse to elaborate, explain or apologise for that statement, but they put out one of the best EPs of this year so I’m begging you to check out more than just the hit.

“Body” (Remix) – Russ Millions and Tion Wayne featuring ArrDee, E1, ZT, Bugzy Malone, Buni, FIvio Foreign and Darkoo

Read my initially lukewarm review of this if you want a laugh. It is hilarious that I shrugged off the original version and gave it a “dishonourable mention”. Hindsight is 20/20.

“Met Him Last Night” – Demi Lovato featuring Ariana Grande

This is one of the best depictions of addiction in music this year, and it’s done through the lens of Ariana Grande being a Devil on Demi Lovato’s shoulder over chiptune synths, janky violin loops and trap beats. The amount of vocal layers on this one, as you’d expect, is intense, but not without reason.

“Slumber Party” – Ashnikko featuring Princess Nokia

I really got my hopes up too high when I expected a song with a chorus about “hentai boobies” to be a hit. “Cry” deserved it more anyway, and that didn’t happen either.

“Shy Away” – twenty one pilots

It’s crazy that this wonderfully constructed pop punk song was the lead single for the worst Killers album released this year.

“You” – Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae

It took a dude from Kosovo to give Tate McRae a personality, but he made a bop in the process.

“love race” – Machine Gun Kelly featuring Kellin Quinn

Okay, MGK can be good, but he has to bring in emo-pop royalty to do so, so I don’t think it counts.

“Freaks” – Surf Curse

Does this even count? It was released in 2013. Regardless, any actually competent rock that ends up on the charts I will fully endorse.

“Dark Side” – Blind Channel

I watch Eurovision specifically for the Finnish nu metal. Speaking of...

“ZITTI E BUONI” – Maneskin

Why this wasn’t the hit that “Beggin’” was perplexes me.

“SUN GOES DOWN” – Lil Nas X

This is a gorgeous song and one of Lil Nas X’s most honest and revealing performances, wrapping all his insecurities into a dreamy pop song. This is one of the best songs of the year beyond the hits, and trust me, if I was able to talk about songs that didn’t chart anywhere, we’d be here for years but this is the place to talk about new P!nk, not NEUPINK. P!nk is nowhere on this list, to clarify, as her output in the past decade has been garbage, but that’s beside the pun.

“Transparent Soul” – WILLOW featuring Travis Barker

I was initially pretty lukewarm on this one, but it has grown on me immensely since, probably because of that killer hook. Travis Barker was sadly everywhere this year as rarely did his drumming add more to a track he produced or featured on, but I’m glad he can at least sometimes replicate some of the blink-182 magic.

“Wow” – Tion Wayne

“Boy, you don’t like me, suck your mother” sounds like a Bible verse over this heavy-hitting beat.

“Wonderland” – Unknown T featuring M Huncho

I genuinely have nothing unique to say about this song but I’ve replayed it more than half of the top 10 list proper and I have very little clue as to why.

“Let Them Know” – Mabel

Mabel rarely impresses me but this slice of over-the-top disco-pop has been really motivating this year.

“CORSO” – Tyler, The Creator

This song is chaos, and I love it. I wasn’t that big a fan of CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST as the rest of Tyler’s discography, unfortunately, but I go back to this one and “RUNITUP” pretty often.

“Renegade” – Big Red Machine featuring Taylor Swift

For someone with as big a year as Taylor Swift – though that implies that there’s a year that isn’t big for Taylor Swift – this was really by and far her best contribution to pop music in 2021... well, except for a certain track at the tail-end, but we might need to save that for next year – if I even do one of these next year because this has been exhausting to write, even if I did do it gradually over the year instead of all in one month like usual.

“Wasting Time” – Brent Faiyaz featuring Drake

This is the best Drake song of the year featuring Drake’s worst verse of the year. Go figure.

“Seventeen Going Under” – Sam Fender

I never checked out that Sam Fender album, which is a massive regret of mine and something I need to do immediately since all of his charting hits in the UK were great.

“No Time” – KSI featuring Lil Durk

KSI is indeed a genuine hit-maker in the United Kingdom. Some events in pop music you can’t make up.

“2055” – Sleepy Hallow

Catchiest trap hook of the year.

“Break it off” – PinkPantheress

PinkPantheress has had several hits in the UK since her rise this year and I really do find her unique take on mixing the electronic dance music of the 90s with bedroom pop tendencies pretty intriguing, especially since I’m a big fan of fast-paced breakbeats. “I must apologise” should have been the hit though.

“Love Again” – Dua Lipa

This peaked at #41 on the Hot 100. Sometimes, math is cruel.

“Just for me” – PinkPantheress

“Obsessed with You” – Central Cee

It’s actually pretty fascinating to me that PinkPantheress’ biggest hit so far is her being sampled on a barely-a-song drill track by a man void of any personality, and she single-handedly makes said song insanely good through that sample’s presence.

“Wasted” – Digga D featuring ArrDee

This song is not the first on this list to make me audibly laugh, but it’s definitely the one to get the most consistent chuckles out of me whilst also banging hard.

“Wid It” – Tion Wayne and ArrDee

ArrDee is a blessing.

“Get Into It (Yuh)” – Doja Cat

Doja Cat’s Playboi Carti impression isn’t quite the real thing but it’s just as fun.

“Good Ones” – Charli XCX

Charli is just as good as a synthpop songstress as she is at being the vessel for PC Music producers to make some of the weirdest pop out there.

“Talamanca” – BURNS

In a year full of faceless EDM, we were in desperate need of house music with striking and vibrant personality, and I’m sure this instrumental track was enough to balance out the garbage.

“Get You Down” – Sam Fender

There’s a sax solo on this one. That’s an immediate thumbs up.

“Spit of You” – Sam Fender

I should really check out that Sam Fender album, what have I been doing?

Well, that took a lot longer than I initially expected but I’m glad I got to do what is essentially a recap of my year of writing about the charts. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

#2

In 2020, everyone was badgered by the constant reality of life being a struggle, if it weren’t clear before. The pandemic seemed to have put into the forefront much of the issues that we already faced in society, and the growing awareness of, well, everything was bloody exhausting. As I said when discussing “What’s Next”, 2021 was about the uncertainties that came with getting out of 2020 and opening the gates after lockdown, even if just out of a desperate curiosity for what normal life really looks like. I’m saying this all here because my top two songs have absolutely nothing to do with 2021 as a year for social events. They’re here because they’re bangers, not because they remind me of the Biden administration. I’ll try to relate them definitely, because what is art without its context? Yet I find it a struggle to really articulate if there is any reason to relate such beautiful catharsis to what is always bringing ourselves down, because after all, if there’s anything that us humans want to do when listening to pop music, it’s levitate.

#2 – “Levitating” – Dua Lipa

Peak: #2 | Year-End: #1

Yeah, the biggest song of the year is also one of the best. Turns out the public knows what’s good nowadays, or at least for the most part, because most songs on the list proper were genuinely massive smash hits. This one in particular was a long time coming given its release in 2020 and it having a new life thanks to the combined factors of a remix, GRAMMY performance and the radio got it here, but “Levitating” never didn’t feel like the deserved biggest hit of 2021.So much of 2021 was about escape from what locked us down the past year, and pop music has always served as that – whilst 2020 was internal escape, looking into ourselves and working on ourselves if we could in between all the nonsense going on outside, 2021 was a gradual bridge back into the outside. “Levitating” soundtracking that transition couldn’t make more sense.

Oh, and I’m talking specifically about the remix featuring DaBaby. That’s just not the one Billboard credits, even if the DaBaby remix is both the bigger and better version. That’s not to say it wouldn’t be an impeccable song otherwise, as it is with or without DaBaby. Every clap that syncs up exactly with the “hey!” effect or laughing ad-libs from Dua Lipa sounds like it took five minutes to place there and then comes off as entirely organic. The explosion of synths and strings in the chorus feels climactic the first time and even more euphoric every other time, partly because the song takes a break to build up to it through the DaBaby verse, which contains some of his tightest flows over a disco groove. Every word in the rhyme scheme sounds perfectly linked to what’s going on behind him in the beat, making the transition back into the pre-chorus sound as natural as possible. He’s not the only rapper on the track, though, as Dua Lipa chants in that iconic bridge, oozing confidence in a way that feels like she’s sharing the fun. She’s not a spectacle, the song is. This song is just pure joy, what else can I say? There’s been many a time where I’ve felt like garbage this past year and for three minutes, I can press play on “Levitating” and it’s like I have not a care in the world. So what do I adore more than this perfect slice of pop? Well, it’s complicated.

#1

My #1 this year is particularly special because it’s not just my favourite hit song of the year – although I’m stretching the definition of hit with this one – but it’s my absolute favourite song of the year, which is something I feel a bit silly for saying as this song is not one of deeper meaning or powerful consequence. Instead, just like “Levitating”, it’s that lack of meaning that makes the song for me... which is stupid because this song is ugly and violent. It should be grounded and make me reflect on harsh realities, but it’s pure, speechless euphoria for me all the way through. Ladies, gentlemen and those who don’t abide by either, my favourite song of 2021.

#1 – “Miss the Rage” – Trippie Redd and Playboi Carti

Peak: #11 | Year-End: N/A

There is so much I could say about this song, and I guess the best place to start is with the production because oh, my God, this beat is insane. It’s one of these new-fangled “rage beats” that I happen to love, and whilst I don’t see them getting much traction outside of the underground, both Whole Lotta Red and Trip at Knight, the respective albums of the rappers on this song, are intense practices at splittering synth sounds via bass knocks that seem intent on rendering a crowd unconscious. If there’s a song to encapsulate this new genre of rap production, it’s Loesoe’s incredibly mishandled beat on “Miss the Rage” which just further contributes to the existence of this song as an enigma. There’s two main points of focus in this beat: that reversed royalty-free synth loop that sounds like you left a video game running on the final boss level, and the bass. How does a shittily-mixed loop that the creator of doesn’t even need to get a credit for sound so rich and triumphant? How does an 808 bass that sounds accidentally chopped off at the end and mastered as loudly as possible become so hellishly cavernous? It’s an unmoving beat but thanks to the factory percussion, sounds like it’s constantly convulsing. I have no idea how this beat works as well as it does, but I think it’s in part due to the rappers here giving some of their simultaneously best and worst performances.

When I first heard this song, I was genuinely perplexed by it and you can actually see this when reading my confused review of it on REVIEWING THE CHARTS. One of the things I mentioned was how Trippie Redd and Playboi Carti deliver performances that are so atypical of them that it really caught me off-guard. Trippie Redd, for the most part, yells and growls in his raspy, screaming voice, and when he feels like it, he belts desperately on his more emo cuts. Playboi Carti takes the approach of spitting out incoherent ad-libs over atmospheric or just bombastic beats, either sounding like a baby or a murderer but always sounding on the verge of killing either himself or the person in the nearest vicinity. Yet, on this song, both rappers attempt not to eschew the typical role of rappers and instead just... rap normally, or at least attempt to, but their own styles keep getting in the way and prevent them from effectively doing so, leading to performances that feel both stifled and fully cathartic. If there’s anything 2021 represents, it’s stifled catharsis, and in that case, hey, I guess this song does represent current events.

You’d think I’d write off the lyrics as unimportant but I do hold them in somewhat high regard as some of the catchiest and most memorable bars this year in trap, even if it is mostly just incessant gunplay and flexing, most of which is incoherent. Trippie Redd starts with maniacally laughing, and comes in a lot later than when the beat actually drops and when he does come in, it’s not with immediate aggression, but rather a more subdued flex that he “can’t see a damn thing if it ain’t guap”, which he feels the need to reassure himself about. As a whole, Trippie’s performance sounds so bizarrely unsure of himself. He spends half the chorus deciding on whether he wants a girl like Maya or Mariah Carey, in barely fragmented non-sentences, before comparing street violence to the Grand Theft Auto games and delivering this oddly depressing line:

I put my heart and soul into this Glock

Of course, none of this is without their penchant for sound effects, of which both Trippie and Carti deliver on, muddying the mix even more but making sure there is no empty space in the song that isn’t intended. Carti’s verse is one of my favourite verses of the year, mostly because of how unwilling it is to be an actual verse. It just sounds like he’s saying phrases and not even trying to associate them, and we hear his internal process as he does so. She tastes like water, but your daughter is too greasy, yet since she’s so meaty, and Carti’s not vegan, he’s “gon’ eat it”. After some concerning lines about how he’s going to leave a woman bleeding, he seems to just acknowledge how disturbing that entire verse was and delivers a line that seems pretty fitting for a song as perturbed sonically as this one.

I’m on the deep end, I’m on the deep end

Yet the song continues. We repeat the chorus. We get more gunshot sound effects from Trippie, and another couple seconds of him contemplating if he wants a “bae like Mya” or a “hoe like Mimi”. We get another couple listens of that video game synth loop. Carti knows none of this is healthy, he knows he’s fated to die young and unhappy by this lifestyle, but he’s relentless. Life goes on around him. There’s something of a spectacle to this song, to the point that whenever I stream it, I’m just dumbfounded. It’s really difficult for me to articulate what exactly makes THIS song so special but it has stuck with me since it was released back in May. I think back to my review of it, wherein despite claiming to have mixed opinions, really, after finishing writing that episode, I listened to it on repeat for an hour or so, simultaneously full of yet lacking any thought about what I was processing.

I guess what I said earlier isn’t true. This song does relate in some way to the real-life events of 2021 – after all, whilst the title is never mentioned in the song itself, it refers to the pandemic. Trippie Redd “missing the rage” refers to his lament that he wasn’t able to engage in the sheer energy of live concerts due to the pandemic. If we see this song as a desperate attempt at recreating what now seems like a much simpler time, it suddenly becomes a lot more profound to me. It won’t be perfect. The bass will be blown out, the chorus won’t line up perfectly to the beat, the lyrics might not make much sense, but we’ll still fill up the whole fucking arena. Out of all the emotions this song fills me with, the most sparkling of them is hope, that regardless of struggles, both those forced upon us and those we meet because of our own flaws, we’ll end up alright. In the end, it’ll all be okay. If there’s anything I want my pop music to tell me, however abrasive and nonsensical my pop music may be, it’s just that. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in a couple more days to once again review the charts.