#its ok i have a plan for tomorrow

[cherryapparition]

Bedtober Day 14: Ramen

Prompt List by OceanInSpace

#He's confused bc this white boy doesn't know how to use chopsticks that was my vision #Wahhhhh this one is late BUT i have big plans for tomorrow #combining 3 whole prompts into one for a fun piece might be a bit ambitious but who knows #work and my fatigue kicked my ASS so i havent had time to post much so sad #but thats ok because like im not being so strict on myself im just happy to be posting bedman more #anyways i drew this because i like to go to this noodle place an hour away with my little brother and we sit and eat together its fun #I like ramen but i think I like cold noodles even more #guilty gear #bedman #my art #bedtober

[dreadnotau]

Happy three years everybody! As always, there’s a lot to say on the occasion, so pop in at the end of the post for the tl;dr if you don’t have time for my detailed diatribes, haha

Boy, time flies, huh? Feels like the second anniversary was just yesterday, but maybe that’s just the several long hiatuses getting to me. I’ve been scarce on uploading anything anywhere for a while now, even though I promised I’d actually pick up the slack this time around. What gives? Well…

For one, college hell, and for two, a lot of unfounded anxiety about putting my art out there. Allow me some theatrics for a moment and I’ll actually get back to the comic at hand… I’ve never had an exceptionally supportive environment for making art. It wasn’t suppressive, not in the slightest, but it also wasn’t… encouraging. It was always treated as a hobby or a distraction rather than something I was allowed to be fully proud of, especially because a lot of my art focused on more cartoon-y and fantasy ideas, rather than still life studies and painting (which people generally outside of the art sphere tend to value more, arbitrarily). Couple that with a childhood full of being bullied over minute shit you hadn’t even considered could be an issue before, and you get a teenager hellbent on never sharing his interests or ideas with anyone, mostly due to the fear of rejection.

I’ve grown, thankfully, but that paranoia and fear doesn’t go away overnight. As I’m sure you all know, Meowchela was the one who originally encouraged me to post this comic, and the only reason she succeeded was because she was the first person in a long time who listened and engaged with my interests and my art in a meaningful way. It’s kind of obvious her friendship had a profound impact on me, and I’d cite her as one of the reasons I was even hopeful enough to apply to an art college in the first place! This comic, and that bond with another person, proved that maybe these things I’m so passionate about weren’t duds, and weren’t something I had to keep to myself.

So, fast forward a few years. About three years, in fact.

During one of my classes, right before this hellish two weeks of exams started, one of the class assistants talked me into showing my comic pages to one of my professors. He’s generally a pretty open guy when it comes to new mediums, but I’m always… apprehensive about showing my less “traditional art”-y things to professors, but, he ended up being genuinely proud of it. Specifically, I showed him pages 85-87 (because they’re my favourites) and, he didn’t read the text, just the visuals were enough for him to say “good job, keep it up” (which is HIGH praise from that guy). When I mentioned I’ve been meaning to simplify the visuals because I didn’t have time to work on the comic very often because of college and classes, he dismissed it on principle. I was honestly caught off guard. Heavily paraphrasing, he suggested that worsening the visuals for an arbitrary deadline was counterproductive to making something that’s Good™.

That’s kinda stuck with me. For a good few years now I was more focused on optimisation rather than visual improvement for the comic, and though it HAS contributed to better visuals in some ways (cutting corners sometimes makes for a less pointy and jagged end result), it’s kind of weird I’m treating an art project that way, isn’t it? I set a lot of… arbitrary deadlines and standards for myself, in the form of expectations and what I “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing at certain stages in my life. I’ve thought of Dread Not as a passion project second and a stepping stone first, if I’m being honest. As if it was too… fandom-y and derivative to be treated with more gravity than that, like it’s an immature project because I was still a child when I came up with it. As if it was something I’m making to Build Up to Something Else, something Bigger and Cooler and More Important, and… the more I think about the future of Dread Not, and even my future career options, the more I realised that’s, ironically, a really immature way to think about it.

If there’s one thing going to this art college has taught me, is that there’s no “right” way to make art, and there’s no “right” way to success as an artist. There’s no clear-cut paths, just more commonly treaded roads, but even those are heavily overgrown. Why should I try to box myself into thinking I have to make things from complete scratch to be taken seriously? What’s so bad about Dread Not as a story and as a comic that’s caused me to vaguely keep it under wraps when conversing with people in my day-to-day life? Why wouldn’t I put all these skills I’ve acquired to improve and expand this project that’s Right There, WAITING for me to finally get off my ass and get pages out there again?

I wish I could say I’ve used all this time away in a particularly clever way, but I really haven’t - at least, it feels like I haven’t. My art has undoubtedly improved over time (though admittedly the art for this post was Very rushed, fuckin exams), and while I’ve been working on projects in the background, chipping away at them in a VERY disorganised way, I haven’t been posting that progress anywhere, and I haven’t made any good progress on my biggest project, Dread Not, because of the other ones. And, honestly? Admitting that kinda stings. This comic means a lot to me, and I wish I actually gave it the time and attention it deserves instead of letting it sit out hiatus after hiatus because I keep failing at structuring my time.

So, my new plan is a little more abstract: find a way to work Dread Not into my school schedule, and slowly build a habit of working on it more often. No clue how long that’ll take, but I think it’ll be worth it to consider it as an option, and hopefully finally end these long, drawn out hiatuses with short bursts of uploads in-between. HOPEFULLY. Building habits was never my strong suit, so please bear with me while I figure this out in what will probably be the most hectic upload schedule in this comics history, which is: no schedule at all.

From now on (until the end of Act 1), I’ll upload pages when they’re ready, and depending on how the weeks go and how complex the page is, they could be weeks or days apart from one another. Hell, some might even take a month to finish if school stuff gets REALLY hectic (god knows Hellish Exam Week number 1 and number 2 won’t be giving me much time to work on the comic), but I’m determined to do this. I want to be able to put my all into this project again!!

(And hopefully finish Act 1 by the end of this semester…)

TL;DR: College is giving me life lessons I didn’t expect, and because of them I’ve decided to give myself a non-existent upload schedule for Dread Not: Pages will be posted when they’re ready, and the spacing between pages could wildly vary depending on circumstances and the actual complexity of the page itself.

As always, thank you for being here, thank you for reading, and thank you for being patient!

If all goes well, there will be new content very, very soon.

#dread not #dreadnot #dread not au #dreadnotau #not comic #kris #schedule update #again #apparently i was calling this last hiatus a pseudo hiatus? #oh silly past me. this was a full blown hiatus jesus fucking christ #but yeah no i love being at this college dont get me wrong #its just that i have like 3 exams to prepare for the next two days ALONE #so like!!!! wish me luck!!!!! for christs sake #yknow i was planning on actually Dedicating Time to the art for this post #but uhh. haha. a little thing called the consequences to my actions caught up to me #fuckin psychology exam today that i had to cram for last night #i think it went ok? who the fuck knows at this point #but for tomorrow and the day after that i have digital shit to finish some theory to cram AND an ENTIRE PAINTING #that i didnt even START YET #and its an autoportrait. as if i wasnt suffering enough i have to stare at my ugly mug for hours #AGAIN. BECAUSE I HAD A DIFF AUTOPORTRAIT TO FINISH FOR LAST WEEK #im in spain without the s yall pray for me

[usermoon]

beginning / previous / next

#ok so i dont think i have to spell it out for you but take another look at that calendar #might be avoiding someone 👀 #sims #ts4 #sims story #ts4 story #sims stories #ts4 stories #simmer #ts4 simblr #broken rose #anika dove #anastasia moon #its been so long idr how i tag anything #so sorry this took me almost a year too #like deadass the one year mark is tomorrow #didnt even plan it like that #hopefully ill have more time and be less busy this year but holy shit ive done nothing but work and talk to my friends all summer

[bigmammallama5]

do you ever just. yeah.

#arting #good thing its friday night and im only planning to work like 30 more minutes or so #it has been a weird week and i get to go roast and split logs at the wood kiln tomorrow in nearly 90 degrees #pots pots pots pots pots pots EVERYBODAAY #oh look a self portrait for the first time in 80 years #whatever #maybe ill doodle some soopercorrrp as a cool down in a bit #i got a bizza from the deli and im gonna add so much cheese and extra basil #a hydroPONIC basil thats gonna live in my bedroom for indirect light and smell delicious 24/7 #maybe i wont kill it #poor basil #you were only four bucks i hope you survive #also yes can you tell in my art that my physical therapy also includes correcting my posture #look at how nice my posture looks LMAO #ok thats enough #have a good weekend everyone #these tags are as long and as odd as iguanamouth's #man i love iguana's art i hope they're doing fantabulous

[hideyseek]

THE FIC IS FINISHABLE 🎉🎉🎉

turns out i am someone who benefits from taking a day off, and also from walking in circles around the neighborhood while thinking through a plot issue.

idk this fic (mini heist!au) is the HARDEST thing ive written recently, i don't know why (its because it didnt come with themes, and also is complicated enough that its 8k, and also i folded the story in half and started telling it from the middle so there is a lot of flashbacks juggling which i find technically challenging, and also the climax scene involves violence which i have limited irl experience with and therefore ... also find technically challenging).

anyway. turns out once i know the character arcs .... its doable!!

i am sooo intrigued by how this fic compares with how we move from a to b, which was a fic of comparable length that i wrote in a similar span of time (3ish months) and drafts (3-4 i think) ... but this one is MUCH MORE COMPLICATED and is also a love story but without any space for romantic tension ... etc. anyway. head empty. bedtime.

#ok now nobody try to hang out with me tomorrow night and i will have! a draft!!! #also ... haha ... i take back what i said yesterday ... i think it might ... be good actually ..... #carrot pspspsps kakeru puts a gun to haiji's head #hidey talks fic #i need to go read fics with a certain trope to prep for 520 day exchange fic ... #oh shit and i had the vaaaaaague plan to try to write the kaze server daycare au during this month #WE'LL SEE I GUESS. see this is what happens. i get close to finishing a fic and then i get REAL arrogant REAL fast lol #but seriously. touching two nearly done drafts in the span of 2 weeks based on happenstance timing (NOT SPEED OF WRITING. CANNOT STRESS THIS #ENOUGH LOL. I AM NOT. WRITING QUICKLY. DO NOT THINK THAT I AM. I AM NOT.) anyway. its gonna fill me w even more hubris than i already have

[just-spacetrash]

💔

#waaahhh feeling BAD again..... #like few months ago my friend asked if i had new years free and i ASSUMED that meant we were like planning smth together????? #and today she mentions in a GROUP CHAT that shes spendingnnew years with her bf #and like. ok. fine. good for them i guess #but i just rly wished she woulda told me like before #and it happened while i was at a Christmas party toooo.... now im sad and just not drunk enough #feeling lonely #i rly thought i had like things going up things looking good finally friends and shit #and like obviously i know her bf is the most important person to her thats how it works #but likee feels bad yk #cause apparently to her this wasnt even that big of a deal cos she didnt bother mentioning it yo be before #and i have no one #my other friends invited us both (thats how i found out) but theyre a couple too so i dont wanns go third wheeling their new years yk #i just #u think its going so well #and suddenly i just feel like ughhhh #this is cringe even writing i might delete this tomorrow when im sober and awake #but like. everyones got someone and ive been trying to click with someone for 20 fucking years #and still #:((((((((( #and like it feels bad not being anyones most important person #and like i know so many ppl are in this situation im not trying to be like wahhh my suffering is unique but like it just feels bad #very bad esp when ur tired as fuck and alone and shit #:((((( #my post #everything SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

[hwsforeignrelations]

Everybody learns at their own pace everybody learns in their own time everybody everybody learns at the time best for them everybody-

#.txt #AGONIZING #the desire to improve right.this. second to unattainable degrees is crushing me oh nature cleooo #so many skilled artists and writers to be inspired from and motivated by #I REALIZE its like. all 20-smiths but I just love their stuff so much TT #and look. I still have to do my yearly america cringe post redraw and I’m excited BUT LAST YEAR I literally preferred the previous #and writing again and realizing I might have REGRESSED?!?!? from 2021?!?!? well maybe not BUT #its a tough lesson to learn that just because you age you don’t improve things you associate ur identity with if. you don’t. PRACTICE #like idk #anatomy not good enough #dialogue not good enough #not doing trends means less acknowledgement and that HURTS but I just don’t like making shit idc about it so it doesn’t feel worth it #going to college and realize it ur gonna have to stop being a kid and being ok with inadequacy #loving talking to fandom ppl but thinking oh ill never be as charismatic never be as interesting or as knowledgeable about history and #lighting #PEOPLE SHOULDNT COMPARE THEMSELVES TO THOSE 5+ YEARS OLDER bc DUH they’re gonna often be better #I just. havin a creative bump where it feels like ill never bring my ideas to as good fruitation as others can #well. um. yea if that’s about it. I’m gonna go plan for tomorrows usual week comic cuz I’m flying to England at 5pm and wont have time/bars #ill be in Europe for the next three weeks and I’m very excited #just feeling all around inadequate if cuz Europeans often judge you REALLY harsh when they find out your American #I just need to POWER THOUGH and have a good time and make the comics and write the stories I wanna write #cuz that’s all I can do and the only way to get better at walking is to walk the walk

[cliveguy]

just realised i have 15 pages due next week and not in 2 weeks like i thought

#um.txt #not good . at least the fear put me in motion but 😐😐😐 URK . #its ok....if i plan today and tomorrow ill have 7 days to finish that isnt too bad...i can do 3 pages a day thats possible

[bensiskos]

(…)

#WUAG. ok. Complaining ahead ignore it’s whatever #We got a dog last week bc my mom really wanted one #the dog is fine she’s a good girl #But I really don’t want to be responsible for it #and my mom said “Ella don’t worry you don’t have to be responsible for the dog” #Even though a. She works 9 hours a day and won’t be home 5/7 days a week #b. My dad also works full time #c. My sibling will be the one home full time & I don’t want to make them do dog stuff all by themselves on the days I am home #d. SINCE WE’RE ALL TRAINING THE DOG ITS MY FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY #It’s just another thing I have to worry about on top of math classes AND work AND cleaning the house AND planning for my 18th bday #and it’s a lot #and I wish we didn’t have a dog because it makes life so much harder and I don’t really think it’s worth it for me #but I can’t say no at this point because like augh my mom would be so upset #we took a training consultation today #and obviously it’s a lot of work training a dog #and I don’t want to be the one worrying about it #I just wish I could tell myself the dog isn’t my problem BUT SHE IS because my mom isn’t fucking home to do the work herself #I’m just tired and I know I’ll feel better tomorrow but I feel insane about this like is no one else worried about this ????

[todayisafridaynight]

NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...

BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH

Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.

ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭

On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭

But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...

And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]

JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT

ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers

YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ

no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..

wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)

OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..

#long post #snap chats #when it comes to Famous Persons Coming Back i was also just like 'theres no way they could get george takei back right' #LISTEN i know the eng dub is not to be spoken of but it exists and it cant be denied takei's REALLY prolific in the states yeah #so i HAD to ask it was WORTH asking myself. unless they decide to swap arakawa's eng VA but w/e its not overly important #moving on. its ok most people dont read anyway no worries about missing a subtitle </3 a painful reality but. we take W's where we can. #OH BUT TO END /MY/ NIGHT THO i LOVED One Missed Call UGH such a good horror movie #i wanna watch it with my dad so bad he loves horror/suspenseful movies and we used to watch em whenever id visit him #KYOUEN'S A DARLING OF A SHOW SO FAR I THINK IVE SAID THAT ENOUGH but yeah......... BIG love........ #i'm almost done with it. if i said i finished it earlier i think i lied i cant remember POINT IS I JUST HAVE THREE EPS #i plan on watching them before stream time tomorrow so that'll be cute :] #buuuut speaking of finishing watching things i Just finished watching the first We Make Antiques movie and UGH #love. love love love it was so silly but also really fascinating to watch... team of forgers thats WILD and i loved it.. #i wish i had access to the sequels tho like PLEAASE i wanna watch these two be losers more.... #they became domestic with each other so quickly like goddamn.. money can do anything #it can make two dudes trying to con each other work together.. its beautiful..... #ok now thats all from ME for tonight. id talk more on the jo and aoki bits but theres a good chance ill do that during stream #or. ill draw it during stream. me drawing is the same as me talking now innit Let My Bullshit Speak For Me etc etc #ok thats all from me fr this time BYE

[flyingspicerack]

Okaaaay daydreaming time then sleeby nienie eveyone!!

#spice.txt #i think maybe im gonna start when i say night night what im gonna daydream abt before bed #on the menu tonight im cooking up a new maoichi fic chapter #hehe its very good i think #its actually gonna go in between two already planned out chapters #so now after i figure out all the story beats for this one ill have 25 chaps planned so far #also thinking of making a poll to vote on whether or not i should make a public list of all my plans #like imagine it as like.... episode title and synopsis but instead its list of future chapter themes??? #like... idk if people would like that or want to be surprised #oh maybe i could post it under a readmore so then people have the choice to look at it or not!!! #i also wanna make a blog directory pinned post.... im too lazy to edit a theme so a pinned with links is the best ill do #this is just turning into a list of things i need to do this weekend #uhhh laundry!! you have no underwear you loser #and draw maoichi slow blink in stream tomorrow #thanks future aero #anyway #looks at you reading this post #hiiiieeeeeeeee!!!! #if u read my fic and want a post for future chaps lemme know bc if I am encouraged i will probably make it lawl #tee hee ok nie nie for realsies

[skenpiel]

i cleanfd my room 👍

#now all i need to do is shower then umm. draw and then tomorrow i have sc hool and when i et home i need to draw like CRAZAY #and thhen the day after i have an appointment wnd after that i go to my papas so i can swim. thats my plan #also by cleaned i mean i just took out anything wjth food in it so its still a mess. but thats ok #anyways. busy busy days and so on and so forth

[moodr1ng]

had kind of a bad day today tho it shouldve been a good day 🤔 was hanging w a friend and nothing was wrong ig and we had some good times but the event was underwhelming + didnt start when i thought it was gonna start (by that i mean their page said in three different places it started at 3pm then we get there and they say it starts at 5....) + my friend was like REALLY high the entire time so conversation was.. not easy. kinda brought my mood down ig. i think im just gonna take it easy and stay on my bed w a dumb show tonight

#97 #idk nothings wrong and typically this would be a good day for me #but i was having such a good time last night that.. idk ig i get a taste of fun and suddenly im insatiable lol #more stuff planned tomorrow so its ok!! just a bit down tonight but ill get to sleep early then #maybe its just like. idk i expected us to have more fun than we did? which is silly bc its all expectations #i should prob just go in w no expectations and then itd be fine #there was a ball pit tho!! like a whole room. that was good i enjoyed the ball pit <3

[fourteenthz]

I have 6 projects to do the next 2 and a half weeks and still my brain decides that it's time to plan gpose ideas. Hah.

#i was getting extressed thinking I cannot remember a single location to try a cuddle pile of the red trio but i need to find one #and i need to find reference of cuddle pile poses so i get everything right and- #*remembers i didn't finished the analysis I need for tomorrow* oh. #this is the agonies that I'm feeling rm btw. im sure i can find reference easily but i just really want to like more #touch-love-language-coded gposes with them specifically. red trio includes my wol btw and ofc raha and alie #but who knows maybe ill just stick with Alisaie for now the pose in my head already seems too complicated and I DO NOT HAVE LOCATION... MAN. #do I try to gpose at my apartment??? sound weird since he's not done but maybe. cannot think of a bed/sofa in the open world lol #wait shup up maybe baldesion annex is the best choice... ok thats it #ok half of this plan done i need to focus on this essay UGH ARCHITECTS SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WRITE PAPERS. SPECIALLY SO CLOSE TO SUMMER VACATION #me: ah yes studying city my favorite part of this major. me when it's closer to summer vacation: i absolutely will drop out rn #also ok i forgot ghosts' art exists maybe thsts the best inspiration for gpose... ok plan done. #now I'll need that “pls dont talk to me im trying to work” sign on my back for the next two weeks #if i post here KNOW that I'm procrastinating. #it makes me feel less bad when im the one that usually asks to do more work on my group so I also only procrastinate when I'm annoyed #something went wrong but its going to be done. soon. believe it. #daily: uni student complaints about her life's love or whatever #i feel like my friends are tired of me saying “i want to play xiv” daily but OH WELL TWO MORE WEEKS lets go #kelly says #dl #this useless rambling post is brought to you by me procrastinating on SLEEPING so see not so bad (i think)

[diari0deglierrori]

Finallyyyy, starting tomorrow afternoon I’ll be freeeeee and home alone for at least 5 days, better make the most of it

#but for that to happen I’ll have to wake up at 6am tomorrow #all good things come at a price #I cannot wait though #except Friday and Saturday I have a thing #my hermit plan will not be achieved at its fullest potential #but ok I guess

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok lets not jinx this bc i still have to walk home in the middle of the night but today was a good day i think #or at least better than ive had in a while which is weird bc i woke up and my internet was fucked #so i had to spend basically all day in the lab and thwts why im still here at 8pm lol #but yea i had to clean my apartment on a surface level bc a internet repair person has to come by tomorrow #but yea idk why but i was just kinda in a good mood. tho i did agree to start taking measurements next week #the same measurements that r gonna drive me into the ground and burned me out in the 1st place #my boss was like: how do u feel abt starting next week and i was like: cool cool cool sounds like a plan 😎 #well see how bad a choice that was i guess #but also i finished another application so i just have 1 left to work on and i feel like i have a path forward on at least one #manuscript and its the one i find most interesting so yea well see how it goes. it is very annoying that my internet is out tho lol #now if only i could make this ability to do things last in a way that isnt unmanageable 🤔 #somehow convince myself to actually start things instead of being paralyzed #but whatever ill take wins where i can #unrelated