#its not enough for someone to start crying. if you dont start looking less and less human whats the point /j | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aakariiiii · 5 months

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Hey💖

I have an request here (if u have time)

So the story is about

(Sanzu or mitsuya x y/n) ur choice

We are Emma sister so being her sister is a blessing but sometimes a curse like ,we are always her shadow, how she is prettier than us, how everyone prefers her more than us and how we liked draken first but draken ended up liking Emma this made us insecure about our self , so like I want how the make us feel good about our self and we are good in our own way

(Sorry for grammar error and sorry if its confusing)

hihihihiiii!!!!

I’m so sorry if this is extremely late, i took an unexpected break because of exams and bc a family member passed away :( but i’m okay now and I’ll try to be active again

also, to whoever requested this im sorry thats so late ugh im so mad at myself…but anyway i dont feel like this is good enough but here goes nothing

i hope you enjoy it (even tho its not that good) n im sosososos sorry again <3

____________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

“What’s wrong?”

Hands on your thigh, worry laced Miitsuya’s voice when he found you sitting on a pavement in the middle of nowhere, tears cascading down your cheeks.

Startled was understatement. You tried in vain to rub at your cheeks in an attempt to hide the peppered trail of tears, but that was of no use as more tears were relentlessly flowing out of your eyes, betraying your attempt to conceal your distress.

Stupid eyes!

Mitsuya’s eyes narrowed at you with worry.

“Is there someone I’m gonna have to beat up?” He asked sternly.

“N—no! It’s nothing, Taka! Don’t worry about it!” you stuttered, feeling utterly exposed before the person you'd recently begun to admire, tangled in a web of unspoken emotions.

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y/n’s POV

I stutter, foot in mouth in front of the guy I recently caught feelings for. Well, obviously after moving on from Draken, the reason being that Emma likes him too. And he clearly likes her back, but who wouldn’t? Her happy demeanor would charm the unfeeling, her soft features would make anyone develop heart eyes. And then there was I, the less attractive, less important Sano sibling who’s been constantly devoured by Emma’s shadow.

Don’t get me wrong, Mikey is a great brother to me, he’s just…emotionally unavailable.

“Then why are you crying?” Mistsuya asks, softness caressing his voice as he moves to sit next to me instead of in front of me, a gesture of quiet support.

I hesitated, torn between sharing my feelings and shielding them. But his eyes were inviting me to confound in them, promising me to find solace within their depth. Pale, yet captivating. I could see myself swimming in them, in a sea filled with tranquility.

I turn my head again, facing front and look at the ground.

“I—I’m fed up, Taka. I’ve been living in Emma’s shadow for almost my whole life, and I get it, she’s pretty and pretty people are obviously…more favored. She’s just very charming and—I’m —I’m just the less important, invisible Sano sibling. I—I’m trying so hard to just break free…but it’s so hard!” I open up, tears flowing down my flushed cheeks again.

Mitsuya was silent. But his silence was comforting, it told me, in an unspoken whisper, to continue.

“I—I really don’t know what to do, Taka! I’m r—really—really trying! And I—“

I choked on my words, interrupted by Mitsuya shifting to kneel in front of me, meeting my eyes at eye level

His gaze spoke volumes—love, care, and a sense of belonging.

He grabbed a lock of my hair, gently twirling it around his finger and started speaking, his words laden with sincerity.

“Who said that you aren’t pretty, y/n? I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, hell, I find you prettier than Emma!” He grins as he releases the lock of hair and reaches up to my cherry-like cheeks, the pad of his thumb wiping my tears away, making my heart skip a beat. Or two.

“You don’t have to be like Emma, y/n, being you is what makes you stand out the most. I can reassure you that you’re liked as much as Emma is by everyone around you, yeah?” He smiles as he stand up up once more, stretching his hand out to me.

His gestures alleviated my burdens, and I grasped his hand as he pulled me up.

It was unexpected, very unexpected actually, but as soon as i stood up, his arms wrapped around my torso, embracing me with an infinite amount of warmness as clang on to him, wanting to melt into him as I’ve never felt so at peace before. I don’t want to ever leave his embrace.

The wind softly hummed as we stood, in the middle of nowhere, clinging onto each other. He pulled away, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah—thank you Taka,” I smiled at him.

“Of course, now let’s go get some ice cream—I’m starving!” He whined jokingly as he guided me to his motorcycle, handing me a helmet.

And with that, the both of us were dashing against the wind, as my hand were tightly wrapped around his torso.

“S-slow down, Taka!” I yelled, scared for my life.

A chuckle came out of his mouth as he sped up.

“Whatever you say, m’lady!”

____________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

#tokyorevengers #baji keisuke #tokyo revengers x reader fluff #toman #chifuyu matsuno #baji x reader #tokyorev x reader #tokyo revengers sfw #sano manjiro x reader #tokyo revengers takashi mitsuya #mitsuya fluff #mitsuya x reader #tokyo revengers mitsuya #mitsuya takashi #mitsuya tokyo revengers #mitsuya x you

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lotus-sunn · 11 days

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@katentines this is your fault/pos

So lotus-moonn I have been THINKING ABOUT HER. And I decided since my pfp is sweet mikey I thought maybe if lotus-moonn existed

they would use covert-mike (Mikhali) as their pfp since well if you know anything about covert mikey then its fairly obvious why I choosed him

I thought of her personality and I conclude..Shes a fucking dick. or atleast more blunt and straight forward not caring about someones feelings and wouldnt see the reason to soften the blow. Would say "that looks like shit" to your face and call you out for more of your wrong doings

I love the DRAMATICS but i think too much is wack so maybe she would have a love for all types of dramatics.

I love to make a good first impression and I am pretty sensitive when it comes to being yelled at in a aggressive way. I start to cry as the yelling continues, so she would NEVER (rarely) cry. It would take a lot for her to cry, and first impression? who gives a shit she is gonna do what she wants and not give a shit if you like her or not.

Not a hugger or very touchy its rare for her to even touch anyone (fucking insane i know) Suprisnly less of a realist. (im a realist) More of a lets just do it and find out. Doesnt care for people who overthink she doesnt get it. like cmon your thinking too much LETS GO.

Not much for reading feelings she just freezes if they confide in her. She is pretty serious. If you told her a joke she would take it literally.

social cues??? she doesnt know what that is?? context clues what??

(fucking dumbass)

Doesnt swear. literally man she doesnt. I swear like sailor so she wouldnt. Why use swears when you can insult someone in more creative ways? she doesnt get the appeal.

really really smart in the education level. Works slow and good, doesnt work well under pressure.

opptimistic? no? but also yes.

one thing I wont change. She is stubborn but not me type stubborn. She is fucking STUBBORN once she decides something its set in bedrock she ingraved it into its very core your not changing her mind

(people trying to rehabiltate lotus-moon get meet with her fist)

was a kid who was more reckless and got more injuries (i was the same. but she actually broke a bone.)

faking confidence? she doesnt do that depressing bullshit. her confidence is real but that gets in the way of most of goals she has so much faith in herself she grows arrogant. She thinks that whatever she puts her mind to WILL happen doesnt matter who come in the way

fighting? HELL YEAH. SHE FIGHTS WITH ALL HER MIGHT! exploding PASSION!

I dont get sick easily. She does tho (LOSER COULDNT BE ME) its cold and she doesnt wear a scarf and jacket GET SICK BITCH (and very sensitve when sick. Im not i can function well enough. she is like fucking DEAD like family guy dead pose.)

hopeless romantic? fuck no romance is icky she doesnt like it.

very Social. ikr what the fuck?? if anything she wouldnt be. And you'd be right but Im not very social i have a close friend group of 5 people THATS IT. so she would be very social despite her dumbass not knowing of social cues.

#ive been thinking about this for a while #and I thought of my personality and since evil lotus-sun is well evil. she would be the complete opposite of me #so I mapped my personality and reversed it.#in a way I would admire her.#but whos to say.#WAIT HOLD ON SHE WOULD TALK LIKE THAT.#''but whos to say.'' SHE WOULD TALK KINDA LIKE THAT #lotus-moonn

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dilucs-little-whore · 6 months

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Characters : diluc x reader x kaeya

Note: first ever fanfic i have written. I hope yall like it.

18+ only (smut included)

Basically this is a genshin harem series that i am planing to write dont fully know how its gonna go yet so yeah thats all. Enjoy!

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It all started out as suggesting, by Kaeya of course, but now you ended up with him kissing your neck as Diluc pulled down your pants…..

Lets go back a few steps,

You were returning to Monstard finishing your last commission of the day. The sun had already set and it was starting to darken. You were tiered and really wanted to relax a bit, what other place to go other than the good old Angel’s Share. “Flirting with diluc would be a great pass time” you though as you walked towards the bar.

Opening the door, expecting the red hair there, only to find charles. You gave him a pleasant smile, careful as to not show the disappointment on you face. Heading towards him you say “hey is diluc here?” Only for him to reply with a no. “Would you like the usual?” He asked as you gave him a nod walking towards the tables when you noticed something odd.

By odd you meant kaeya, what was he doing here? Did they finally make up their fight-“din’t see you there darling!” he said as he gave a mischievous smile. “What are you doing here, also does diluc know that you are here” as i sat on the vacant chair in front of him. “You dont seem very happy to see me” a pout forming on his pretty lips.

You’d be lying if you said that the thought of his pretty face did not cross your mind as you lay in your bed with your panties folded down upto your knee. You never denied the face that he was oh so handsome but it was not like you had feelings for him you were just so sexually attached to him i mean wouldn’t right! . And he knew well about your desires, but he also saw how you looked at diluc, with pure lust in your eyes. He hates to admit it but the thought of you between him and his red head brother really turned him on.

It was past am hour of you two catching up. Most of the bar empty not. Both of you were quite drunk as you laughed your hearts out over memories you shared. “Hey violet can i ask you something?” he continued as you gave him a nod “do you have a thing for diluc?”. That question took you by surprise but well you are quite confident when you are drunk so you openly admitted to it “yes i have a thing for diluc, how can someone resist that face and those eyes and that hair THAT BEAUTIFUL RED HAIR i love his hair” blushing at the thought of him.

Your eyes landed on to kaeya’s face, he was almost about to cry. Getting up from your chair you went towards him, struggling to push his chair back a bit, you sat on his lap “ hey hey hey that does not mean i find you any less attractive you big baby, you are handsome, you have me drooling over you.” That was enough for kaeya to gain his confidence who now held your waist tight and he is whispered in your ears “ who would you rather?” In the most seductive way he has every talked to you. So with a whiney voice you say “thats the thing i dont know who to choose” giving him a little pout.

“Maybe you dont have to choose” you heard a familiar voice say from behind you. You turned to see diluc who had been standing there listening to the whole thing. “Since when have you been listening to us” asked kaeya as diluc said “since you asked her about me”.

————————————————————————

“Its getting late how about i drive you both home” the only sober man there said. You dint wanna leave but both the men started dragging me out. Kaeya was not as drunk anymore but still a bit tipsy.

The ride to your place was short, but that was not the problem. The problem was you. “No i is wanna sit in front on kaeyas lap i dont wanna sit behind, i am scareddddd!” You threw a tantrum. They dint have another choice. So diluc drove as you sat on kaeyas lap giving him tiny kisses everywhere with a dumb smile plastered on your face. His face was covered in red lipstick but that hardly concerned him, his main concern was the bulge growing in his pants.

Diluc saw everything from the corner of his eye. He hated seeing you be so clingy to kaeya but dare not show that on his face. Reaching your place keaya picked you up and started heading for the door. You noticed Diluc wasn’t following behind “don’t tell me yall are going to leave me here to be miserable all by myself, it’s not easy to get off yourself you know”. Both men got flustered at the thought of that.

Diluc din’t wanna take advantage of your drunk self but the hard on in his pants said other wise. The three of you were sitting on the bed as you kept repeating “you have my full consent guys i know i am drunk but just fuck me please I can’t take it anymore” as you lay on dilucs chest. “Its getting so hot” you said as you removed your top, it wasn’t really helping the guys much, looking at your lacy black bra squeeze your boobs it only left them to wonder if it was a matching set.

“Fuck it” said both men at the same time removing their shirts. “Oh what a view” you moaned. Diluc placed you onto his lap, you could feel his cock so prominently that it was killing you. Kaeya was quick he curled up your skirt and bunched it up in the waistband “so it is a matching set then huh” as he gave a smirk. Being close to both of your dream men had you on chock hold. Diluc was having his way with your breasts while keaya started tasting your cunt moans with every lick. You started to shake, it not like you have never been eaten out before it the way kaeya curled his tongue as the right spot.

Everything was moving so quickly, they had got you onto your knees and hands kaeya behind you smacking that ass as he spat degrading words at you while diluc had his dick right in front of your mouth praising you like a child. Their ice and fire combo was gonna make you melt. “Oh i cant wait to feel you violet, you have made me wait too long” he said as he started sliding in. As the last of him entered you diluc slammed his cock all the way down your throat, it made your eyes go wide. You thought you would handle his size but god were you gagging. Both started ramming you from each hole and oh how you felt like you were on cloud nine except your throat hurt real bas but thats a price you were willing to pay for the eye rolling, toe curling fuck you were getting. Not too long after kaeya screamed out load “oh i am about to cum, violet dont ah- squeeze me so bad” and diluc wasn’t too far behind. “At the same time?” Diluc said with a smirk but he wasnt looking at you, he was looking at kaeya??. Oh boy were you gonna be full or what. Both their orgasms had driven you to come close to your too. You took few more seconds before you to pained all over kaeyas cock. You went dizzy and fainted right after. “I guess the alcohol and sex wasnt a great idea together huh”.

Both men had taken care of you. Getting you cleaned and tucked in bed. Your head lay on dilucw hand as you faced kaeya. You looked so peaceful sleeping, though each of them. But that wasnt the last time it was gonna happen.

In fact it wasnt only gonna happen with fire boy and icy knight if you know what i mean ;)

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I dont think this was that good :( but i hope to do better next time. Thank you for reading <3

#genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #diluc smut #kaeya alberich #genshin kaeya #kaeya smut #diluc genshin impact #sumt #hoyoverse #diluc fanfic #kaeya fanfic

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ravilson23 · 1 year

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New ep of Helluva Boss just came out and i actually want to talk about that one. I didnt even bother with the third one cause somehow I didnt have any strong feelings about it. Anyway, lets start.

First of course pacing. I was really suprised how fast we got into the main action, it starts literally a minute into the episode. We didnt even get a proper introduction of Andrealphus ( or however his name is written, i will just call him Andre) and its his first offical apperance. Its quite insane honestly. I really think it might have been better to do this in some other episode where plot would be focused on the divorce. It feels like they didnt know how to start this whole assasination businnes.

Also for me he seems... really boring? There isnt anything about him that we havent seen before. I dislike how Stella was portrayed too. She may have gotten a bit dumber than at the beginning, i mean she cares so much about killing Stolas that she isnt even thinking logically. Its a little weird when you consider how loveless their marriage was, it doesnt look like she has strong enough reason to hate him this much.

Another thing, her relationship with Andre seems as normal as it can be in hell. I hoped for some emotional manipulation or other toxic behaviour that may explain why Stella is such a bitch. But hell no, there was nothing super weird about them though it may be because there were shown for like 2-3 minutes in the whole ep. On one hand i am glad he is not ( at least yet) another villain, but still he felt important enough to get a proper introduction.

What also bothered me about pacing was the structure of plot A and B. Especially in the fight scene where they are paralleled. Its not a bad thing per se but it dissolves the tension. It also felt like there was no need for plot B except for keeping Blitz occupied and unable to rescue Stolas.

Now lets talk about characters. First Moxxie, as much as i am glad that he became a badass i cannot help but feel like it should have happened in 3rd ep. Him fighting his dad would be so much more powerful than dealing with three random guys on gus station and fighting Striker with Millie. This change would feel more natural. I am not saying he is weak, but his skills were mostly with guns, not physical violence. But in this ep he suddenly is very capable of that, he is also less anxious and more reliable (which is a good thing, thats the development from ep 6). Despite all that i was still suprised.

Both Blitz and Stolas feel pretty much in character, so i wont talk much about them. I just wanna say that i liked them. I am kinda sorry that i wont sing praises, even though there was some good stuff but there is still much to cover.

So lets talk about Striker. Oh boy, not gonna lie watching him sometimes felt like fever dream. I dont know if its so bad that its hilarious or just hilarious, i really cant say. First his sudden apperance in the middle of a restaurant with a whole crowd of witnesses, than his theme song. THEME SONG. I am crying, its just so ridiculous. Its a pretty cool joke but also so surreal. Like up until now it feels like writers tried to find a reason for adding songs. Be it jingles, intros or full stage performences the songs were always a part of an actual action. However here its more of a montage, and it can be barely counted as sth else thanks to a few lines in a dialogue. As i said, not sure if its genius or just bad. Then we have all the jokes about Strikers ego, its not out of character, but it also feels like he stopped being anything more. At first he was a genuine threat and someone who Blitz could have chose to be. Here he still tries to be, but cant because of all the jokes. The big dick statue went too far for me. Its also becoming too repetitive. However i really liked when he started choking Moxxie, he looked really wild with all the drolling. It made him look feral, which is cool. The harder joke also caught me of guard. Last thing about Striker, he is well animated. It may seem obvious but i feel like its really not, especially not in season two.

I dont have much to say about Millie, Loona and Stella. Really, my only thought is that Stella looks kinda weird in this ep. Her head feels to big, especially when Andre is next her. Fortunetly Loona and Millie look alright.

Short note about worldbuilding, it gets more and more messed up. What at first looked like nice little clues for creating a bigger picture now is more like random stuff mixed together so they can pretend to be whole. Hell looks more and more like a structured society with jails, hospitals, offices and so on and yet it makes it hard to ignore how absolutely insane this idea is. At first hell looked like a total lack of rules, then we got some info that IMP using Grimouir is illegal, then human disguises, lawsuits and even jail which overall makes an impression that there is some law. But what is this, how does it work? No idea whatsoever. Then we have hierarchy with imps being at the very bottom of it. Now it seems like they arent really so different if they can afford places like Asmodeus or restaurants Stella is willing to go to. Blitzo having a bussines was a big deal but nothing really came out of it. Also whats with their sizes?? They can be as big as Loona or small enough to fit in a bag. It gets more and more confusing. I wont even talk about Moxxies dad, an imp being a literal mob boss ( mafia exists in hell???). Its all a right mess.

Another thing thats is a mess is a quality of sound design and sometimes animation. I felt so disconected from fight scene in this episode because music didnt fit at all. The tension that should have been there went and never came back. Though the animation was gorgeous. However its not so pretty in many other moments where anatomy of characters becomes a mere suggestion. Sometimes the problem is in proportions, sometimes in perspective but also how some scenes are connected and how the mood isnt appropriate for the overall action.

But since we are getting to the end of this post, let me tell about some good things. And by that i mean the end scene. Its really good, it made me feel what i have felt while watching first season. It was emotional but in a quiet, honest way. We got some small gesture that was meaningfull in a context. We also got some explanation about what happened after Ozzie (a little too late, but better than never) and in such a way that i can appreciate. I like small clues, that u have to focus on to fully understand whats happening. Its one of the things that got me into Helluva, it was fascinating to use small things to create bigger pictures. I loved that, and i wish there was more of that in this season.

To finish, i think the biggest problem of this season is that it doesnt know how to build up on what was shown before. It got lost with all the characters, dramas and possible plots and in the end lost the core idea that was at the beggining - IMP bussines. Now it rushes into different plot points and mucks up most of them because of that. It also doesnt give us anything new? First ep was a sensation with mixed response, but despite other ones having important moments it never got up anywhere near the excitment that started with 5 ep of season 1. I really miss that feeling but i am losing hope that Helluva will return to its former quality and charm.

If u read all of this, thank u very much. :3

#helluva boss #english is not my native language #helluva disscussion #helluva spoilers #helluva critical

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wasyago · 8 months

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hello hello! if u ever do decide to get more into prime defenders, the first seven episodes are a little iffy but i can attest to it getting better (WAY WAY better) after that, and apparently season 2 is even better. so it might be worth getting into at some point if ur interested ^^

also would HIGHLY recommend blood in the bayou if u like horror because. my god it’s my favorite campaign BY A LOT which is saying something cuz i love all the campaigns i’ve listened to so much, but blood in the bayou hits different. it’s run by charlie, very horror based with a really cool premise that charlie executed fantastically, and it’s only got four episodes ^^

either way i’ve finally caught up w riptide and can finally go through your art for it and oh boy it’s literally so so so cool i’m losing my mind, i love how you draw la alma he is so friend shaped

i hope you’re having a great day, and be sure to Just Roll With It! (<- very funny yet incredibly subtle reference. i’m so tired)

hehehhehe i love the reference >:)c always hear it in grizzly's voice in my head ("and just roll with it baybee!!") and also waaa thank you, i love drawing la alma <3 kitty <3 need to draw more of him, but also there's so many cool npc's that i also want to draw aughh not enough hours in a day smh i need twice as much, maybe thrice.....

about other campaigns!

i think someone said in the tags (or replies, don't remember) under my post that first 7 episodes of pd were kinda eh, and it did feel like the first episodes were less serious and less engaging. like, literally my favorite characters after watching them are tide and wavelength, which is like???? one of them barely talked even. but i do believe that it gets better, i saw some of the art and it looks amazing and super interesting!

blood in the bayou. im so absolutely INSANE about. charlie as a dm is SO fucking good im kicking screaming and crying im not normal. everything from the voices he does to the way he explains things and creates atmosphere to the way he treats players and characters augghhbhhbbbbb words cannot explain how much i love it. i LOVE blood in the bayou, its literally perfect in every aspect. the setting, the game, the art (dont get me started on the art), augh augh augh augh--

both of them (and apotheosis!!!) are on patreon tho, which i sadly don't have access to, no matter how bad i want to watch them or to know what happens next. don't want to get into politics much, but. its not that i don't have 10 dollars or however much the lowest tear is, patreon just doesn't work where i live. same as spotify, paypal, steam, and all the other payed services. vpn works for twitter, instagram, ao3, tiktok, but everything that includes banks and dealing with money and paperwork doesn't get fixed by just changing connection unfortunately. it has its benefits, i don't get ads on youtube or twitch, but everything else sucks. and atm the only real way to deal with it is move to another country... (which sounds pretty good, ngl)

#yagotalk #also fun fact. had to watch bitb with a vpn. it literally got censored for how good it was-- or for the amount of drugs mentioned... whoops

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sincerely-sofie · 1 month

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The finishing of this fanfic has left me with some pretty mixed emotions. On the one hand, I dont want it to end. It's such an incredible piece of work and even though I finally committed to reading it a few weeks ago, it already feels like such a significant part of my life. On the other hand, I'm a little glad that it's over. FAR from the sense it was bad (I'll steal your liver if thats how you interpret it) but moreso in the sense that it was like a good crying session. It's something that a lot of us (or I assume a lot of us) typically want to avoid even though we know its good for us, and satisfying after the fact. It's like catharsis in a way. Endings aren't always a great feeling in the moment, but it's something that we can look back on with a fondness.

I'm so glad I found this work. I'm being completely serious when I say that this fanfic, and the other content you make, has changed my life for the better. Its helped me reconnect with that love I have for creativity after nearly a decade of not making anything even though I wanted to. It's helped pulled me out of a few ruts of depression. It's helped me realize that I'm not actually emotionally stunted (per my own conclusions) and be more willing to cry instead of burying those feelings. In the past I would just, kill these kinda thoughts before they got far because of how much I wanted to avoid crying. Much less actually writing them down, or express them to someone else. But now, I've been crying the whole time I write this, and for the first time in, I think ever, I'm okay with that. I know we don't actually know each other, but you've genuinely helped me become a better person with the things you make. Thank you so much for everything you've done Sofie. hey look! I got your name right!

But enough about me. I feel like it's getting indulgent at this point. (I've gotten dehydrated with how much ive cried writing this and from what I can tell, you cry a lot more than I do. So go drink some water first, and then) I wanna hear your thoughts. What are your thoughts and feelings about your work being finished? Do you have plans to take a break from creative endevors for a while, or are you gonna keep going? Are you going to be expanding more on this and other au's, different fanworks or move into something completely your own? Whatever the case may be, I'm excited to see what more you are going to come up with!

From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of everyone else, Thank you for everything.

It's so surreal to have posted that final chapter. I finished the first draft almost 100 days ago exactly, and I spent a number of days after completing it kind of adrift. I'd go to my computer every morning like I had during the month prior and sit down, ready to write, only to remember that I was actually supposed to be taking a break before I made the final edits. It didn't click in my head that I had actually done it… until a couple weeks later when it hit me like a truck that I had an entire completed manuscript sitting in my Google Docs. I think I was making myself lunch at that moment, and I had to bolt to lie down on the floor and put my legs up against the wall because I was ready to pass out at the realization.

This feels pretty similar. For me, The Present is a Gift— the main fanfic, at least— was finished in mid-January. But the process of uploading it and agonizing over what people thought of every passing update wouldn't be formally done until about 3 months later. It still hasn't clicked in my head that I won't be posting a new update once Tuesday rolls around.

On the subject of taking a break— I've actually been taking a break, at least partway! I've barely written anything after I finished TPiaG's first draft, and I haven't drawn much “serious” art, for lack of a better word, since I started my blog. I've still been making things, yes, but scattered oneshots and sketchy pieces without solid lineart are not my typical fare. I'm usually a lot more “exact” with what I make— words fail me here— I hope I'm not being too vague! I might take a brief break as I finish up the winter semester, but that would be less a break from creating and more of an “OH MY WORD I NEED TO FOCUS ON NOTHING BUT PASSING THESE COURSES” kinda thing.

TPiaG (along with its derivative AUs) is still very much a living project to me— there's a lot more stories the characters have in them, even if I struggle to envision a full-on sequel. I'm absolutely going to answer the asks relating to it that I've received over the months along with any I continue to receive, and if I get any ideas for comics or oneshots here and there, I'll make them. As for what's officially next up on the Sincerely Sofie menu, I'm planning to make a visual novel that's a lot more meaty than the last one I made. I'm not sure if it will be original or based on TPiaG— but a visual novel is the medium I'm planning on!

I'm so overwhelmed by your kindness. I truly don't have any words. This project started off as something private to help distract me from a depressive episode and to process trauma, and it's become so much more. I'm so glad it was able to help you. Catharsis was the keyword for TPiaG— I wanted it to uproot difficult emotions and help people start to heal from them, but I never dreamed it would really help anyone but myself. So to hear it was able to provide you with that is unbelievably meaningful to me.

I gave myself the goal somewhat recently to let myself cry whenever the urge strikes me. I used to go months without crying, and whenever I did shed tears, it was alone in my room while muffling the few sounds I accidentally let slip. I'm a natural crybaby, but I had schooled myself into thinking for a number of reasons that it was bad to cry— that it was selfish, or attention-seeking, or weak— so I've been trying to reclaim my teary-eyed identity. It's been difficult, but it's so freeing to let myself feel things fully. All of this is to say: let the tears fall. I've helped more people by crying than my stoicism ever did.

Thanks again. I can't properly word my gratitude, but know that it's overwhelming :,>

#sofie answers asks #the present is a gift au

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dearhargrove · 2 years

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Hello~ maybe this is a weird request so you are free to ignore it. Basically i'm rewatching st from season 1 and i was imagining something about Eddie and y/n who is from the Hawkins lab like El without a name but with superpowers, but they're the same age shes not a child. And Eddie meets her and takes care of her like Mike did to El (i'd prefer a female reader, but if you keep gender neutral its okay i dont mind). I know Brenner had all children at the lab, so wtf is a grown girl doing in there lol, but maybe shes a special case o something? Idk, i like to think it like that. (And maybe she escaped before Eleven and the massacre, because she wanted to save her the other children). I know this is long and complicated and if you think you cant write it, i understand, you are free to ignore it, no problem^^

Soooo...

I'll here leave a second request but easier: basically about eddie and y/n (est.relationship), who is a member of the hellfire club, hiding together from the basketball team and the police. Maybe a protective eddie + the scene from ep5 when vecna kills patrick at the lake.

Like i said, you are free to ignore this but i still thank you if you'll do it^^

⟶ request from @ffishandchipss

⟶ summary: after escaping the lab you wander around the woods of Hawkins. Getting lost and a boy with curly hair and the biggest, brown eyes finding you was never in your plans. Not that you mind.

⟶ Eddie Munson x f!reader

⟶ reader has powers (mind control and telekinesis), reader is same age as Eddie

⟶ a/n: this is one of my first requests and i feel so honored and happy someone sent this ! I'm hoping it's to your liking @ffishandchipss ♡ not one of my best but it's so hard to write Eddie for no reason 😭 loved this request & I'm sorry it turned out so bad 😀

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You rip away from the nurse trying to hold you back from escaping but failing just as everyone else. The blood under your nose is smeared over your chin and lips, some of it already dried and unpleasant.

The woman has a scared look on her face, not being able to mask it with confidence. She knows what's to come when you still in her strong grip and make eye contact. You practically see the picture you're building in her mind. Blood is flooding the floor and when she looks at her hands, there's blood staining them - no space that isn't covered by the thick red liquid.

You hear her breath quickening and her grip loosen, her eyes rolled to the back of her head. You use the moment to your advantage and dart off into the direction of the cellar where the tube lays. One of the nurses had made you get something from down here when you discovered the sure way out of this prison.

You had waited for the perfect moment to escape and it came this morning when one of the others accidentally hurt Dr. Brenner. At first, you called him "papa" as all of the kids are instructed but the older you grew the less you called him that.

He was a greedy, crazy man and he didn't deserve the power he held. You give the familiar surroundings one last look before getting on your knees and crawling through the pipe. The floor is rusty and it scrapes your knees open - but if you concentrate enough you can hear birds chirping and wind blowing.

After some time, probably about ten minutes, you start seeing light. You could cry from relief, because you just escaped. It was over. You wouldn't have to sleep on uncomfortable, wiry beds anymore. No weird tests.

You lose a tear when you're at the end of the pipe.

In front of you are acres of forest floor, plants and flowers all around. You dare look around, seeing the hulking building of the laboratories in the far distance. You crawl out and stand up, your knees cracking from effort and your vision lightly swimming from the lack of water and food.

You don't care, starting to run through all the trees which are adorned with healthy green leaves. Bees, birds and other small animals buzz around you and the sun is in the middle of the blue sky. The air is fresh and it's warm.

You hear some noise and get closer, hiding behind trees after every step. There were people. You approach closer and see a group sitting at a picnic table. It stank of alcohol and something else that caused a light headache. They were listening to music and had messy hair. One of them got up on the table, his voice loud. "They call us freaks because we like to play a fantasy game, meanwhile they throw balls through laundry baskets as a hobby!" The group cheers him on and you smile a little at the fun they were having.

The boy with long, curly hair sits back down with his front to your direction and you can make out his face. He has big brown eyes and a small stubble on his chin. His smile is- cute? You're fascinated by all the alcohol they have and the smoke that rises from a few of them. You'd seen cans and bottles like this on TV during one of the rare instances you were allowed to watch it.

The sun reaches beneath the leaves of the trees and it momentarily blinds you. Stepping back, you feel something crunch under your foot. It's loud as it crinkles and your heart stops. The talking stops and about eight heads turn your way.

The flimsy material of the hospital gown flutters a little in the pleasant breeze. You still, panicking. The boy you'd watched before gets up and comes closer. Your first reflex is flinching back, cowering away from him.

He stops and lifts his hands next to his head. "Hey I'm not gonna touch you or anything. Are you from school?" He asks and, gosh - why was his voice attractive, too? You look in his eyes and gulp. "Lab. Bad guys." You say your vocabulary a bit on the smaller side.

"Lab? Do y'all know what she means?" The boy turns to his friends and they shrug or shake their heads, apart from one of them. "Dude, do you know this big building in the south? It's like grey and there's a fence all around it." Was he with Dr. Brenner?

You step further away and look at the guy with fear visible on your face. You try gathering concentration to make him see something but it's all too much and you whip your head back to look at the curly head.

"Is that where you're from?" His voice is gentle and he leans down a bit, the silver chains hanging from his neck clanking together. You nod because after all you could just make them forget if this went wrong, right?

"Shit," he curses with wonder on his face. " Are your parents there?" you stay silent at the mention of parents and his gaze turns pitiful. "Alright, how old are you?"

You weren't 100 percent sure but you should be about 19 now. You open your mouth and answer him. "Alright that means we're the same age. Do you wanna go to the police or something? They'll know what to do." You don't pay attention because all of a sudden one of the guys that had been the loudest jumps in front of you. Flinching violently you defend yourself in the only way you know; your powers. He's thrown against the tree and the ticklish feeling in your nose comes back.

Someone curses in the background and you realize that you're screwed now. You try to even your breathing but it doesn't work.

Eddie shouts out a swear at the guy flying against the tree before he fixes his eyes back on the girl with a buzz cut. Her nose started bleeding and her hands shook as she clenched the thin material of the gown she's wearing.

"Alright, let's, uh, fuck-" ze tries thinking of where to bring her, especially when she's as scared of everything and everyone as she is right now. Whatever happened to her back at the 'lab' definitely scarred her - and not only mentally he realizes when a few bruises and scratch wounds on your shoulders get revealed at your movement.

"Hey, I'll get you away from here- from them, yeah?" Is the first thing coming to his mind and he holds out a hand. She eyes it suspiciously before taking it, her hand significantly smaller than his. The many rings are cold against her hand and she lets one if her fingers glide over the cold metal.

"Do you like them?" Eddie asks, a small smile tugging at his lips. She's sweet. He thinks and watches as she nods, looking up. "Can I… take it?" Her voice is barely audible but soft and pleasant to the ears. "Yeah, sure, lemme-" he holds her hand in his other one and takes a ring of his finger. "You like this one?"

She smiles, flustered, and nods. "Pretty."

"Yeah," he agrees and slides the ring on her thumb. It fits perfectly and she lifts her hand, admiring the way it looks in her. She holds it next to her face and makes eye contact. "You like?"

If he didn't know any better he'd think she looked a bit mischievous at the red on his cheeks and his quick nods.

"Okay, you see that? That's my car. I live a bit further away so I can't walk here." He explains, and watches out for any students. When he doesn't see any he takes your hand and leads you to his car. He opens the door for you, suppressing a proud grin when you get in with a blush high on your cheeks.

He sees you trying to pull the dress over your thighs, the material way too short. He takes off the flannel he wears under the denim jacket and places it over your exposed legs. "Here. Comfortable?" He asks and you nod, mumbling a 'thanks'.

He gets in the driver's seat and puts the key in the ignition before speeding off. He leaves the radio turned off in case it makes you nervous or something, just to watch you turn it on and turn up the volume. AC/DC blasts through the car and with wonder he watches you bop your head to the screaming guitars and drums, a barely-there, shy smile builds on your face when you look at him.

He sings the next lyrics with a big grin and watches as the girl with the buzz cut and questionable history copies him more quietly.

They race past houses, fields and more trees while simply enjoying loud music.

Stopping in front of his and his uncle's trailer he turns the volume of the radio down and leans against his seat. "Didn't know we had something in common." He grins and twirls a strand of his hair around his pointer finger. You smile at him, a bit more confident in the way you carry yourself now.

"Alright, I live with my uncle but he's at work until, like, 9 PM. It's 2 now so we can order some pizza?" Your eyes practically sparkle at the mention of the greasy food and he chuckles. "That's a yes, right?" You nod, a pleased smile still on your face.

"Okay, let's get out of the car and I'll show you my place and order some pizza." He suggests and the girl nods once again.

The teens get out of the car and in the trailer.

later that day

Sitting on the floor, head propped up against his small shelf, he inspects the thin girl laying in his bed - blanket wrapped around her body up to her chin. Her arm held the blanket up and he smiled at the way his sweatshirt was way too big on you. As soon as you'd gotten more comfortable he offered you to take something from his closet and you chose his "Hellfire Club" shirt. He grinned when you put it on.

What the fuck did he actually think when taking a random orphan home with him? Not only would his uncle absolutely kill him but if someone came searching for him he'd be absolutely fucked, without a question.

But how in the world would he be able to send you away or something? He didn't like to admit it but he was already smitten with the strange girl.

next week

"Alright, this is Chief Hopper. He'll help us with your situation." Eddie introduces the tall man with a Cowboy hat?

You hide a bit behind Eddie, his familiar scent wafting around you. If he liked the guy, this Hopper wouldn't be any danger you guessed and nodded towards the Chief.

"Where'd she come from?" Hopper asks at the realization that you wouldn't talk much. "I honestly have no idea. About a week ago she just stood by the place we always hang, behind school in the woods."

In the days you'd gotten to know him, you learned he was a totally goofy, guitar playing idiot. You've come to appreciate his silly character, so the seriousness threw you off a bit.

"Okay, did she not say anything about where she came from or why she was in the woods in- what'd you say? Hospital gown?" Eddie nods.

"Well she said like two things. One was 'bad guys' and the other 'lab'. We assumed she meant this weird building all the way behind the woods. Ya know with the fence around it." The police officer nods. "You heard about the rotten pumpkins 'round Halloween last year?" Eddie nods, "Came from that lab. We don't know what they're doing there but you gotta keep her safe if she escaped with wounds. I'll check up on her every once a while and see that she can go to school with you, yeah?"

Eddie agrees and says goodbye to the man, watching him drive away and only leaving a cloud of dust behind.

"Music?" you ask, putting a bit of distance between you and him.

"You want me to play again?" He's quite proud to say that since you first heard him play you've been asking him to play for you again and again.

By now it was a small ritual that at least once a day he played your favorite song for you.

He leads you back to his bedroom and you two sit down in his bed, him taking his guitar in his arms and starting the first few notes of the song.

He watches you close your eyes, gently swaying to the song. His admiration for you wasn't a secret, yet it surprised him again and again how much he wants to keep you with him. So far it's been very chill - barely anything happened out here and even if it didn't concern you or him.

When he finished you clap a few times before settling down. He bows jokingly with his hand gesturing wildly, his hair swaying with the movement.

It's about two more weeks later that Hopper comes back to check up on you.

"I've checked the lab but they're really secretive. I couldn't find anything but normal testing on all kinds of stuff but they're also not searching for anyone. So she's safe for now."

Eddie sighs out of relief and sags back in his seat. "That's good to hear, thanks, Chief." they say their goodbyes before Eddie is left alone with you. He hears the shower turn off and a minute later you're stepping out of the bathroom, one of his sweaters pulled over your form. As he's taller and generally more muscular the clothing is too big. He sucks in a breath when you walk past him, sending him a confused glance.

"Uh-" he tries forming a sentence, the words getting stuck in his throat when you tilt your head.

He watches as you huff amused, "I heard. You're cute." He gapes at you saying that all of a sudden because what?

You think he's cute? He's internally freaking out, awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets. "Yeah. Right. Thanks." He clears his throat and looks everywhere but at you, trying to find something to talk about instead of this.

You lean against the wall and cross your arms, eyes fixed on the boy in front of you. "I want to go out." You state and wait for a reply. He's a bit surprised at the request - after all you seemed very content just here for the past few weeks.

"Need to show you something." You add and he just nods quickly. "You can just go whenever, you know? You're not trapped here or anything." What if you thought you weren't allowed to leave? He panics a little because it had definitely never been his intention to just imprison you here.

"I know. Like it here." Coming closer to him he nervously licks his lips, while holding eye contact with you. "I was at school. Looked for you. What is…" you think, not remembering how it was exactly called. He waits, basically endeared by the scrunch of your eyebrows and the tapping of your finger against your arm from where your arms are crossed.

"Ah! D&D! What is that?"

He sputters - so you really were there. He smiles and tugs you to the sofa with him, launching into an explanation about the fantasy game he loved so much.

"I want to play, too."

"Yeah- I, we can teach you. You can come and we'll show you. But they can be real douchebags sometimes. So-" your eyebrows are raised in a questioning way. "If they are not nice, why do you like them?"

He snorts because yes, why was he friends with them?

"Well, you know. Not everyone likes me or how I behave." He explains, "They think I'm too loud or I do weird things and- best of all, they're convinced I'm the leader of a cult." He laughs to himself though there's a bit of loneliness about him when he talks about his situation.

Reaching a hand to his and taking it in yours you sigh. "Some people are boring. They don't like me, either." You think of the nurses that were specifically rude to you and to all the times the doctors hurt you.

He tries interrupting you but you stop him with a simple look. "I'm different. And they are afraid. Makes them mean."

"Why are you different?" He asks. You chuckle and take one if his hair strands between your fingers twirling it. "I can show you." It's a whisper and his curiosity kicks in. "If you want, for sure."

You close your eyes and focus on what you want him to see. You build the picture of him playing his guitar in your mind, making sure he sees it too. "That's how I see you." At that comment he flinches back a little. "What- what do you mean?"

It's too late now you think, regretting showing him because what if he didn't accept this? What if he thought of you as a freak too?

You snap your eyes open and the picture crumbles. "I can.. I can make people see things." Is your only explanation as silence takes over the room.

"Sorry but I don't get what you meant there's no way you-" pulling your hand from his you look at the wall, mugs adorning tons of hooks and shelves.

"No, I don't get- you can't show me things per, mind? That's impossible!"

"Eddie…" your voice is pained when you look at him. He seems as if he thinks you're crazy - which he probably does. "Please believe me." he laughs a little crazily and looks at the ceiling. "Look, y/n," you turn your head to him, the ring on your finger getting heavier by the second. "You can't tell me-" at that moment the door is being kicked open and a few men in suits walk in. "Five?" One of them asks and you stand up, hiding Eddie behind you.

"Leave." You threaten, raising a hand. "You, what the fuck! Get out of my house, dude!" Eddie yells and gestures around wildly. "Quiet." The man says, fixing his gun in Eddie's direction. Your breath stops for a second and your voice is low, "Don't hurt him." The man looks at you like you're crazy, removing the safety from the weapon.

"Yo, what? Man, I didn't even do anything!" He cries out, hands next to his head. "Sit down." The man forces hik, gesturing to the ouch with his gun.

"Go. Now." You threaten one last time. When they don't listen but instead start circling you,.you raise a hand towards the main person, he swallows and tries to keep his cool, ultimately losing when you send him flying out the door. A gun is being held in your direction but you just fling it out of his grip.

One of the men gets you, ramming his fist in your side. You make an oof sound, breath being kicked out of your lungs. "Y/n!" Eddie yells before getting up and kicking the man straight in his stomach.

You use the moment of him being down and push him out of the door and down the veranda.

When you win against the last me, Eddie turns to you. His lip is busted and a wild look is in his eyes.

You breathe heavily and he reaches out to wipe away the blood under your nose with his sleeve. "You weren't lying. Well. This is kinda crazy." You giggle before grabbing him by the collar and pulling him against your body, kissing him.

For a second he stays unresponsive before putting his arms around your hips, tilting his head. When you part you lay your head on his chest with a smile.

"Does that mean I can sleep in my bed again?" He asks, mischief clear on his face when you realize he suggests you two share a bed.

You ended up letting him lay next to you, his arm slinging over your waist as you played with his hair. He enjoys the gentle touches and after a while you settle down. "Tired." He agrees and pulls you against his chest - one hand drawing shapes on your back. Falling asleep in Eddie's arms is different than anything else you've ever experienced. The way he holds you so gently and with so much care alone could make your heart burst but him talking in his sleep probably takes the crown. You giggle and boop his nose. He acts offended and does the same, but pecks all over your face instead of just your nose.

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n

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royalwriteroftheuniverse · 2 years

Text

Thanks Captain America.... part 1

Part 2 here

Warning tons of angst. Not my best work. But I just got done reading a fic that made me hate Steve. Therefore right now there's angst. 18+ mentions of kidnappin and cheating and crying and waning Steve to fall on a knife and I think thats it 18+ just incase. Comments welcome please I need more comments. Reblogs appreciated no reposting or republishing.

This is part 1

Part 2 here

I saw Steve at the street fair. I thought he was working and I know he said we can't be seen in public together but I can still say hi like a fan or just be around him. Feel his warmth I love that.

There was a small group wanting to say hi and I was just there to watch him. Just as our eyes meet I hear a

"Stevie baby" and a woman kisses his cheek. And she had a promise wring on her ring finger a claddah.

I couldn't read his face but I know he could read mine as I gasped. That was the reason that was the real reason. Tears pooled

I wanted to puke.

I started crying and went to some place to sit. My hand was shaking as I took out my phone and I sent him one. Last. Text.

"The only reason that I am not dousing you with water is because I'll be made the villain. Your things will be in a garbage bag in the lobby. I suggest you get it before its thrown out forever tomorrow morning. But maybe those things you said meant something meant nothing.. I know I meant nothing to you."

I couldn't care less if someone got his things i assume they'd be thrown out regardless. It's obvious he didn't care about me he knew I was crying and he just didn't care.

I ignored every ring and ding and notification from my phone. I never read any of his responses or voice mails. I never blocked him either it seemed cruelest for him that way. I thought maybe one day I'd be strong enough to read him begging. But I guess that day will never come.

Where I was sitting someone came up to me,

"Hey are you ok."

"No I just found out my boyfriend was cheating me probably the whole time. He's not the man I thought he was... he was never."

"You found out here?"

Yea he said he didn't want us-" I stopped myself i wasnt about to let myself be kidnapped or killed because someone thought I meant something to Steve. "Us to come because he had work. It's complicated."

"Its not that complicated. He's an asshole."

"That about sums it up."

A few weeks later my front door is being pounded on.

I look for the peephole and its Steve. I should have known.

"I can see your feet and hear your breathing i know you're there."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Someone knows about us they're threatening you you need to come-"

"No.

"This isn't a-:

"I'm not going anywhere".

:It's just to the tower. I'll break thi-"

I opened the door a bit and he shut up..I made sure he could clearly see my face my face my eyes still puffy from crying.

"I don't care I don't care about anything anymore I don't know why you do either because I meant nothing."

"If something happens to you I'd-"

"Wouldn't care you'd just feel guilty in front of the press to get sympathy you're nothing like you claim. Get. Out. Of . My. Building before I call the cops. Or better yet tmz. All righteous captain America is harassing me stalking me. Forcing-How do you think that would play out? Hm? There are camera in the hallway."

"I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for it to get this far."

"But you meant it to grt far enough.. but you were cheating on me. Or was I the other girl? Or were we both equals in this and you just went back and forth. Did you tell her?"

All my questions went unanswered

I. HATE. YOU." Then I slammed the door. And walked back into my bedroom.

"Honey next time he's here-"

"Dont you'll make things worse. He'll just freak.. I can't believe you never saw Old Yeller its the saddest movie ever. After this we're watching winnie the pooh." I snuggled back in Hayden.

"What if he's telling the truth?"

"Hes not all he does is lie. Should be his moto."

There was this huge women defense class series Maria Hill and Natasha from Shield/avengers were doing. A series of class 16 weeks. I was able to get a spot thatks to the one woman who knew I was Steve's girl-or I guess one of Steve's girl. I always wondered why her face looked a bit sad. Now I know.. I figured why not especially since Steve won't leave me alone and as much as Hayden cares he'd never be a match. I don't want him to get hurt. He's becoming more than just my best friend.

I had been kicking and punching the bags so vioenty one class. I even kicked a hole on one if the bags.

Steve would have loved that.

"You dont have to easy on those things you know they can take a beating." Natasha had jokes

"My ex won't leave me alone"

"Report his ass."

"I can't he's too....connected it wouldn't go anywhere." I shook my head. If she only knew

He doesn't understand he cheated on me and he just wants me to."

I couldn't stop the tears in my eyes.

"We could always stick Cap on him." Hill joked.

If she only knew.

"I wish you could. I wish Captain America could kill him." That's be a fight id like to see him falling on a knife.

"He's that bad?"

"Worse." I started crying and whiping my eyes. Stupid I shouldn't have said anything.

"Steve come here." I hearnaNat yell

Shit.

"I have to go."

"Wait." They called after me but I never ran so fast out of the opposite side of the gym and ann the way to the outside and down the street where I just had to catch my breath and cry.

"Are you going to say something or just stand there."

"I never meant to-to hurt you."

I looked up at him with an incredulous look.

"Steve you stayed over at my apparment constantly. You told me you loved me. You'd say how amazing I was how beautiful how much you cared. When I saw you there with whoever it broke you really broke me. And yea im stupid im an idiot for letting a man do thst to me but I trusted you. And then you come up with some fake stalking shit."

"It wasn't fake. it isn't. For what it's worth I never meant to hurt you."

"Its not worth shit."

"But id you don't believe mnaNat will tell you-"

"I was juseiwith her and Hill"

"They don't know you they only know I assigned people to-"

"To what" i asked through gritted teeth.

"To keep you safe, alive."

"Look just please come back with me."

"No. And tell Nat and Hill I quit. I can't go back knowing that you'll know I'm there."

I got up and walked away From him from what I swore would be the last time.

But I should've gone. I should've just gone. Because now I'm in a cell that I'd never get out of in a place I dont know with people of all diffrent backgrounds speaking diffrent languages none that I know of. Sometimes I think of Hayden I hope he's ok. That he wasn't hurt. I know he'd look for me but never find me.I've was an actual friend.

I don't know how long they'd hold me or what they'd use me for or do to me. All because I said yes to dating Steve Rogers. If he had agents on me they'd know where I was or he'll they would have stopped it but just like, you know I don't know how many times he lied. But that was just one more time. Because of him, because of Steve Rogers I'll never be saved.. because of Steve Rodgers I'll never get out if here alive. So Thanks Captain America for how my life turned out.

Next chapter here

Taglist

@nana1000night @sapphire-rogers @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @sparklybarbarianninja @cadencejames87 (one time tag you know why lol)

#avengers #chris evans #steve rogers #ari levinson imagine #ari levinson x female reader #chris evans x plus size reader #ransom drysdale #steve rogers fanfiction #chris evans characters #chris evans comfort #angstober #steve rogers angst #chris evans angst #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #hayden #harvard hottie

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okthatsgreat · 4 months

Note

20, 22, 29, 40, 56, and 75-77 for ODIETLG specifically

Picking your brain is one of my favourite Tumblr hobbies

ITS GREAT THATS ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES BC IM A BIG FAN OF TALKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20. have you noticed any patterns in your fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc? UMMMM call me the forgetter the way i forget..... there are definitely words/expressions that show up a lot definitely. im sure if i looked hard enough id be able to see them GHFDJGSDFKG aaaaaannnnd as for themes i noticed ive been writing a lot on trauma and some of the uglier side effects of it ESPECIALLY when put in a situation that does not encourage healing or anything like that other than that I AM REALLY BLANKING THERE ARE DEFINITELY SO MANY MORE COMPARISONS TO BE DRAWN LMFAOOOO

22. are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) hmmmmm i do a LOT of genfics and im not that much of a purely romantic type of guy yknow..... i dont see myself doing anything like that in the future i reckon! unless its a gift or something :). in the same vein i dont think ill be posting smut on my main ao3 either just bc i feel like itd really come out of left field ghfjkdgshdjkfgh.

29. what’s your revision or editing process like? i stare at it. hope google docs caught any spelling errors. convert it into ao3. hope ao3 caught any spelling errors. send it out. wake up the next morning and grimace so hard

40. if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? IF ANYBODY MAKES FANART OF MY WORK I CRY IMMEDIATELY YOU HAVE NO IDEAAA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME SERIOUSLY. ohhhh there are a lot of big scenes in fics ooooo............. if youre looking for a dramatic piece of fanart then the miu+kokichi confrontation in lgowab is a good one. the sonia+akane conversation in opddmh could be cute........... like them on the floor looking up yknow. like a little comic. i can see it in my brain. and oooo a lot of interactions from that second last chapter of odietlg when the whole place is falling apart ................................

56. what’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? BWAH uhm the characterisation :) i try to keep them in character but also make them feel a little more real if that makes senseee

75. what scene in odietlg took the longest to write? what was difficult about it? ooo its been a while hm. odietlg was during a time i had a LOTT of time on my hands so i was whipping through chapters so fast it was crazy. um. maybe the finale???? just because it was a lot longer than most chapters and i kept going back to flip a few things around and all of that :))

76. did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of odietlg? I DONT HAVE A DISCORD CHANNEL FOR THIS ONE SO THERE ISNT A LOT OF EVIDENCCEEEEEE let me think let me think. because this story was more interactive there were a few scenes that didnt make the cut solely because it wasnt voted for!!!!! i know there were MULTIPLE executions that were avoided during that miu gonta trial. there were a few more scenes including a tsumugi conversation that got cut in favour of the tenko/himiko chat in the bunker. ummmmmm unrelated to any sort of poll im really unsure!!! odietlg had a lot less planning which means a lot of initial ideas made the final cut!! i think tenko nearly started hearing other "voices" other than angie but i decided against that just bc it was never supposed to be supernatural or anything

77. do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from odietlg story/chapter? OOOO THERE ARE A FEW SCENES I ENJOYED WRITING i think one of my favorites has to be the final 3am encounter with shuichi and tenko. it really just felt like all of those conversations were building up to this last one and i loved writing the setting and loved writing their interaction bc it just felt like a great culmination of their character development up until that point but ESPECIALLY tenkos :)

ASK GAME!!!

#ask lee #ask game #cantbelieveyouregone

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webslingingslasher · 2 months

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https://webslingingslasher.tumblr.com/post/738721361856528384/how-long-ago-was-the-candygrams-fic-bc-thats-how

HIII im back, i missed you!!!! <3

you did even BETTER than candygrams. the double drop was perfect. care less is everythinggggggggggg to me!! no bc seeing peter being the excited one is so🥹🥹🥹 i will never get tired of seeing him excited to show trouble how much he loves her. he was literally dying to shower her with love and i wanna cry bc look at how far they've come😭😭 also the ethan appearances, 🥹 ill melt, why was everything so perfect!!!

ok this ask is gonna be long im sorry but i cant tell u how much i loved everything!!

"It’s about how you love someone so much, there aren't enough things in the world to buy to show it, and there are never the right set of words to say it quite right.

i actually cried. THIS is how he feels for trouble?😭😭 there isnt enough things in the world to show how much he loves her? im sick.

"I’ll buy all the flowers in the world for you, and I’ll use all the air in my lungs for these balloons but it’ll never match the love I have for you.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

my ex never even bought me flowers. him saying hed buy all the flowers in the world (and i know he would too) made me cry😭 THE AIR FOR THE BALLOONS. oh he's so soft

"Peter does and he’s going to get his valentine’s day, no matter what. And you’re going to enjoy a handmade card. And a teddy bear."

😭😭 idk why but seeing peter so determined over a little teddy bear is everything to me bc hes So Manly and sexy but like. hes on a mission to get the perfect teddy bear :(((( ill cry. hes so cute

"But, maybe you’d like a handmade one more. He can do that."

no bc he's so attentive. 😭. yk the quote 'to be loved is to be seen?' that's peter.

i love seeing this side of peter ahshdj he really did feel everything the whole time didn't he? but just kept it hidden the same way trouble held back her love - i feel like he may have held back even more. & the way he kept trying again and insisting to find something perfect that she'd like is everything to me :( like... he spent so much on that card and she straight up said he hated it and he didn't even care, his thought was 'how can i get her to like it?'/'how can i get her a card she'd like?'

also i actually cried ab the rose bouquets thrown in the wardrobe haphazardly and the petals falling everywhere :((( poor baby. i love him so much gufigd

im gna stop bc this is gna be TOO long but i loved literally every word, why was it so cute😭 and dont even get me started on unknown sender, we'd be here for hours, literally (which im happy to do xoxoxo but i feel like its annoyingjdkgljkd)

wait last thing:

Your hearts about to explode, “fuck, I love-” you stop yourself, but you heard it and so did Peter. He brushes it off, “love?” Fuck it, you’ll both keep circling around it. “Yeah, I love love.” A hungry kiss, a squeeze to the back of your thighs. “Yeah, I love love, too.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i cant deal with this😭

ok ily bye

-lula xo

THIS IS SO AMAZING AND SWEET AND WONDERFUL AND HOLY WOW THIS IS SO NICE I???? THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO MEEE

ILYSM THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME

#thanks lula!

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mkboys · 2 years

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i dont know why i get so scared whenever i hear other people talking about DID. i think it’s because much of my denial, my fear, is that i’m simply never going to have real answers to what’s underneath it all.

Why did this happen? Why is there not a ‘centre’ or ‘original’ I can trace back to, that I can draw connections as to what ‘i’ am? the more i try to learn, as years have gone on, and i’ve been with Theo for the last 4 years at least... he’s more or less tried to keep me together even when i didn’t know of what he was. you’ll experience these moments where you’re in the middle of a cafeteria, and people around you don’t feel real. the whole room has this dream-like feeling, kind of lightheaded too, and it’ll happen in other places where you’re more anxious than normal. the dissociation comes like deep waves but it’s not predictable. i never know when it’s going to happen, if i’m lucky i’ll get the mental drift to start and then ill be like STOP (in my thoughts) and then ill try to be present (like think, focus focus focus) as much as i can, because i also have ADHD and am on medication for it. sometimes i’ll be semi-aware of whats going on around me, but mentally i am completely floating in my own headspace. i don’t see myself fly around or anything like that, which is silly, but it’s like i’m not even attached to my body. like looking through a stained glass window. the unknown is what hurts the most, because within that time of unable to reattach myself, unable to get to my actual senses (touch see hear etc) hours will fly by. sometimes my body goes into autopilot, but it’s like brushing my teeth for ten minutes. standing in the bathroom brushing my hair for a half-hour. there’s nothing i can do to stop this. if someone doesn’t try to stop it, we’re all helpless to the dissociation. when i say someone, i mean isaac or theo. usually it was theo, and he’d be quick to either do something for his sake and not mine, like substance abuse or staying awake for 24 hours straight, calling out of work, causing fights with people who disagree with him. these things i didn’t get why they happened after i would have a foggy memory of it like i was just extra hormonal that day but im certain i didn’t miss work on purpose, because i live paycheck to paycheck. it’s not that Theo is a bad person, he had a negative outlook and didn’t understand His existence. the only people he was ever open with decided to disregard us as a system, sum it up to ‘the shitty ex’ (which IS true, i won’t deny that) so all that rage was boiling up. he was first an emotional part.

“EPs are mediated by mammalian action systems of defence and attachment cry. As EPs, patients are fixated in reenactments of traumatic experiences. These reenactments include action tendencies of defence against perceived or actual threats to the integrity of the body or to life itself, as well as action tendencies regarding the need for attachment and the fear of attachment loss. EPs are mediated by the innate action system of defence against a threat that may be guided in particular by one of its subsystems: fight, flight, freeze, collapse, total submission, hypervigilance, wound care, and restorative states.”

as he’s mostly fighting, the consequences were always so intense. i would take it out on myself, hurt, cry, feel entirely like i was broken. i didn’t want to think about why this happened. the last person who opened up about DID hates my guts. i wanted to bottle everything up inside of me, take it to the ends of the earth, and fall apart in the hell abyss of dramatic sadness and darkness. but seriously, the number of times i’ve shuffled through therapists because i was 1. lying to them about how bad it was, i would say it’s not. 2. not taken seriously enough because of my demeanour. i was either passive and rude (theo) or i was smiling and gently awaiting instruction (ME, q)

i hated not knowing what i was. i would shift around sexuality and gender like they were playing cards, i would shift interests and then be so miserable because it wasn’t giving me the right ‘euphoric’ sensation a special interest does. i felt utterly hellish, constantly, and i had no sense of relief no matter how far i went into something. talking about work, a show, a person, seriously nothing was making me feel happy. the only time i had considered i had DID, was around when i had a roommate that was generally accepting and understood dissociation pretty damn well. she would know when theo had taken the front, but by calling him out on it we’d switch so rapidly. it was scary, the feeling of being thrown around, but also in complete denial that it was happening, which made him more bothered over time. isaac was originally only someone who helped me with driving. after the last host had gotten into car accident after car accident, isaac began to take the wheel. his knowledge comes from driving from ohio to california every 6 months. this is not something i personally have experience with. this is one of those, well if -the body- didn’t learn this, how is it able to put up with it? and i wish i had an answer, it’s not a superpower to have tolerance for something because of another person in your brain had a life before the system. this isn’t ideal, this isn’t what someone should want. you’ll never feel whole. you’ll never feel like what is yours, is really yours. you’ll be afraid of one day not waking up at all, being dormant terrifies me even though that’s 100% a choice made. i fear what happens when isaac fronts and his accent make me look like a weirdo. and HE HAS fronted with our new boss at work, and i have been around as well, so it’s a mix of us both and makes it look like im untrustworthy. im doing what i can to be whole. to make sense for others sake. to be present as much as possible, but also acknowledge that this is not my life i chose and not my life i originally began in. and i always fear i sound disillusioned, but i promise, before I ever knew of DID i had voices. I had amnesia. i had unexplainable reactions that were never consistent. i had names i have given people that were not at all related to my own, ive met people who i have no recognition of. i own clothing and have fucking DEGREE i don’t understand or remember really how i got it. how am i supposed to explain this to my family? to my friends from college, from high school, that i truly only know of them from word of mouth. a lot of the time isaac or theo or i will tag each other, joke, try to make a positive light on having different identities living in one body, try to be helpful or informative and even willing to give more personal information (like this post) in hopes, one day, someone will like us for us. Yes, I have a gf, and yes, she knows. but does she Know? She most likely Knows. I am not good with empathy, with reading someone’s facial expressions, i often guess incorrectly based on what my own insecurities tell me. They don’t believe you. They hate you. Only isaac will come between that and say, hey maybe this is an intense topic we should address after we have all our needs met? HALT. Hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. If that’s happening, don’t make decisions, don’t feed into the insecurity. but yeah, it’s hard. i’m a host but i am an alter first. no matter what i cannot change that. i will press how ‘present’ i am to everyone in my actual life for their comfort. it’s not fair to isaac and theo, and had i known YEARS ago, maybe i would be much more functioning, maybe i would’ve finished a degree in something we actually had passion in? maybe i could keep friends, family, have meaningful experiences that would be shared with my headmates, meet others that want to heal from the shit that has hurt them too. i know it’s not too late for any of this to happen, and i guess this long paragraph is a massive reflection of that, i mostly wrote this because of listening to oscar isaac talk about the book i haven’t read yet, that this man realized at 40 he had DID, the fear spread through my whole body that it could’ve been much much longer before i knew. it should have been much earlier, and i’d give anything to go back to try to help our last host, hell they wanted to die so desperately because of how much pain they couldn't manage. i can see the differences between them and i, one wants to be seen and one wants to be heard. i’ll often talk about how isaac is a lonely guy, because he’s the newest and the most friendly, the sweetest, most cis-bi man ever in my brain. i don’t get fictional introjects that suddenly appear, i don’t really get a headspace where i can ‘retreat to’ when i don’t want to front. we just exist, or are not existing, or existing together, or existing halfway. i we they us. all of that gets so tiring. we work SO much, isaac gets no time to be social, theo gets no time to work on his own personal projects, but i get to space out for 3 hours because i have no control over the mind and body. i am getting help, ive been trying to get a new therapist (need to actually see a neuro psych) and ive been trying to do this since november. insurance sucks. and also, anxiety fucking sucks. time being so so short sucks. right now we have only an hour or so before my gf gets tired and heads to bed, and the guilt of being awake online makes me close my computer for the night. poor isaac right now wants to watch this moon knight special, but i can’t even think about it without wanting to absorb the book oscar isaac read entirely. i hate reading books. i thought i loved it, i do not. isaac does, however, so maybe he’ll read it for me. but he also is critical of what people say about DID being an alter that has been left on read basically, for 2-3 years solid. anyway. idk who the hell would read all of this. but if you did, i hope it didn’t make me...look annoying.... so thanks.

#quen #thoughts #no i will not break these up to make it easier to look at and read

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not-me-haha · 2 years

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If only.... - yjw

THIRD CHAPTER : the mysterious girl

"'You the man' why the fuck did I say that?" You cursed yourself. You couldnt believe you made yourself look like a crying idiot in front of Jungwon. "He probably thinks I'm weird now, I shouldve just thanked him and left." If only you knew that you've been stuck in Jungwon's mind you wouldn't be regretting what you had said yesterday.

"Hey you found the ring!" Exclaimed Alisha looking at you staring at the ring. "Damn right I did. Well I didnt find it...... Jungwon did" you replied.

"You mean your crush Yang Jungwon?"

"Oh hush up, besides I made a complete crying fool of myself in front of him yesterday."

"Well- hey watch it!" Alisha was cut short when a mysterious girl dashed into her.

"What?" Said the girl not caring less.

"Nothing" said Alisha almost as if she was scared of the long haired girl.

"What a bitch" you said as you and Alisha walked away from the girl.

"Dont say that she'll hear you"

"How can she possibly hear me she's way over there and plus I dont care" you said confidently until the mysterious girl appeared in front of you and all your confidence you had bottled up drained out.

"Were you saying something about me?" Questioned the long black haired girl with a mocking grin on her face. " You know I really dont like people who talk shit about someone behind their backs."

You stared at her with a blank expression. The girl had an off vibe. It was hard to pinpoint what she was going to do next. She tucked a few strands of her long black hair behind her ear and looked at you with a sarcastic smile.

"Ey I'm talking to you" she said.

Alisha was about to apologise on both of your behalf until you spoke up-

"And you know I really dont like people who dont apologise for their mistake. Dont even get me started on people with a nasty attitude."

"Hah!" She laughed as though everything you said was some kind of a joke.

"Listen up you newbie I'm gon-" it looked like she was going to through hands at you but Jungwon being the life saver he is, came to rescue but-

"I think that's enough Min Chae" he said putting a hand between both the girls. He then took the weird girl or who you assumed was Min Chae by the shoulder and said something but it was inaudible. Min Chae, instead of giving Jungwon the look she gave you a few seconds ago totally switched personalities. She was actually listening to him.

"What a shape-shifting witch" you thought.

Just as then both Min Chae and Jungwon left not uttering a single word to you. You felt disappointed but not because of Min Chae, because of Jungwon.

You then realised that you didnt know him well enough yet.

Note: not much vampire-y stuff in the first three chapters but its coming no like seriously its coming. Also what do you think of Min Chae

Hope you all have a great day and thank you for your support!

Master list hehe

#jungwon #enhypen #kpop #jungwon x y/n #jungwon x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen ff #enhypen fluff

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kunikame · 2 years

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rant & slight idolish7 spoilers warning !!!!!

i verbally cannot describe how much comfort i7 brings me, genuinely. no matter how many times i watch it i just dont get bored of it, instead i notice new details and see new meanings behind certain words, scenes and actions. i love the characters so much ... theyre just so ... so adorable and relatable, you cant avoid them growing on you. the songs too !!!! the songs and characters make me so so happy, i adore them !

sogo and his violent impulses 😭 its always the quiet and composed people i swear. him collapsing from stress is very relatable. i admire his reasoning for doing music, i wish i had the same resolve HAHAHA except i vant even bring myself to tinker with my piano anymore :,)

tamaki and his childishness. it might be annoying to some, and he is very hard to deal with for sogo, but i think its endearing. hes self aware about being a bit on the dumber side but still tries his best .. i just wanna give him a hug and headpats and i hope he and aya get to be together again soon :( let the siblings be happy fr ...

yamato and his sincere want for the others to be happy and successful. what started out as a revenge mission became genuine affection toward the other 6 and i think thats amazing. he just gradually took on the role of the older brother/tired dad without even realizing and now hes stuck with them doing his best to ensure their happiness because he genuinely loves them :(

nagi and his comedic relief and wise moments ! i think nagi is reduced to simply comedic relief by most as he is just a silly pretty boy 80% of the time but hes actually very smart and theres so much we still dont know about him !! i sure hope we get some insights to him soon. and haruki aswell !!! i need to know more abt their friendship and the songs and everything !!

iori and his cute traits. he may be the youngest but he acts like the most mature (after yamato and sogo ofc) and his sincere want to ensure the success of i7 is admirable if im being honest. i adore his less composed moments though! makes me realize even picture perfect people have their quirks :) i love his friendly banters with riku and how he likes cute things and stationary and how he takes care of riku and mitsuki and and i love iori a normal amount i promise

riku and his sincerity. whatever hes feeling, you can just tell. hes so easy to take care of and while he might be insecure, hes really what holds them all together. he just shines as their center and hes so precious and his energy just makes you all warm n fuzzy and his smile just radiates joy and . i wish i could keep him in my pockets and carry him around.

mitsuki and the way i relate to him. the insecurities and being swallowed by them, running away from my problems and being the 2nd choice or not even a choice at all, not feeling good enough and just being average at everything i do, always being outshined and everything. hes so effortlessly funny and precious and i love his energy and his pretty smile and the way hes just so .. sunshine. yknow? i kin him can you tell

i could talk about i7 for ages but this is tumblr and not a fic so nobody will read it anyway HAHAHA i feel like im writing a diary entry or something. i could go on and on about how happy this show makes me even if i cry because of those specific mezzo n mitsuki insecure arcs but im gonna keep it short for this post haha

sorry i nerded out on the tl! if you read this i hope i piqued your interest in i7 (if i didnt still thank you for reading!) and if you didnt i hopr you have a great day after scrolling /gen

maybe one day when someone asks me abt i7 irl ill go on a longer rant and my eyes will sparkle and ill wave my hands around animatedly while talking about the show but then ill realize im rambling and im probably annoying and theyre not really interested but theyll be looking at me and asking me why i stopped talking except that wont happen bc fics arent real and i genuinely am annoying to most people HAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!

#! natsume stfu #i just wish one day someone would like me enough to listen to me rambling without thinking/making me feel like im annoying #maybe even fall in love w me #but that wont happen haha #vanitas kinnie moment ig.

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