#its all about the yearning!

[goosita]

attending a gala with young!politician!snow is both more and less terrifying than you’d imagined

he’d picked you up at 7pm on the dot, waiting outside of his car for you. coriolanus was dressed in all black, a departure from his usual red color palette. the moment you’d stepped outside to meet him in the dress and shoes (as well as necklace) he bought you, he’d smiled charmingly at you and offered his hand.

“you look absolutely enchanting, miss y/n,” he breathed, tone full of sincerity. you could feel your cheeks blaze at his compliment, giving a timid grin.

“thank you, coryo.”

coriolanus brightened even more, opening the back door of the car with his free hand and keeping you steady with the other as you slid in. he followed just after you, settling in beside you on the seat. now here you were, on the way to a big fancy party full of people who made more money in an hour than you did in a whole year.

“are you nervous?” he asks, glancing at you.

“absolutely terrified,” you admit with a soft laugh. “i’ve never been to anything like this. i don’t want to do or say the wrong thing.”

“you’ll be fine, i promise. just follow my lead, and it’ll be over before you know it.”

you nod, but still can’t force down all of your nerves. aside from this whole event being unfamiliar to you, you’re still jittery and unsure with coriolanus. he’s been so hard to read lately. you’re not sure if he’s just toying with you, but it feels too bold to think that perhaps he has a real interest in you either. too indulgent of your daydreams, your fantasies. you can’t seem to stop the fluttery drumming of your fingers against your thigh, until coriolanus is taking your hand and sliding his fingers between yours to stop their incessant tapping. your gaze snaps up to look at him, surprised by the touch.

“everything’s going to be okay. trust me,” he says gently, giving your hand a soft squeeze. for someone who’s last name is snow, his hands are so warm. his thumb brushes over your knuckles soothingly, looking down at you with a calm expression, and you nod. you do trust him. he adds, “i’ll be right beside you all evening.”

his promise makes you feel better, some of the tension leaving your body at both his words and his soothing touch. you glance down at your interlocked hands, his so much bigger than your own. his fingers are so long, pale and beautiful as if they were carved from marble. the veins along the top stand out, raised little rivers of blue that crawl up into his sleeve. his silver watch band rests against the delicate skin of both of your inner wrists.

once you arrive, it feels like a whirlwind of colors and lights and sounds. you find yourself dissociating from most of it, from the moment coriolanus leads you inside with a hand at the small of your back. you try to focus on the way his cologne catches your nose when he turns or moves, the familiar scent helping to ground you. the event passes in a flurry of coriolanus’s voice chatting pleasantly with Very Important Men, fond introductions of you at his side by your name and never your job title, being handed flutes of posca that you only sip on here and there. your date, however, seems to have no trouble at all socializing and sharing drinks with these people.

he’s a natural people-person. coriolanus charms and wins over just about every person he speaks to. the men respect him and listen to what he has to say, while the women giggle and let their eyes wander his face and body. you don’t like that the latter bothers you enough to sling back an entire flute of posca at one point while some district 8 office holder’s wife practically undresses coriolanus with her eyes. if he notices the female attention at all, he doesn’t show it. coriolanus simply keeps one hand planted firmly along your spine, occasionally stroking the exposed skin there softly.

finally, finally, the night comes to an end. coriolanus is loose from the bubbly drinks he’s had, making him a bit more smiley than you’re really used to. his cheeks are flushed a pretty pink that spreads over the bridge of his nose and makes him glow.

“did you have fun, darling?” he asks as he gets into the car with you. while he waits for an answer, he fumbles until he finds the button that raises the privacy screen between you two and the driver.

“fun is…certainly a word,” you offer, unable to stop your grin. coriolanus seems younger like this, spine less rigid and jaw less tense. he looks his age right now, you realize.

“hm. yes, well, i don’t have much real fun these days,” he laments, undoing his tie and shrugging off his suit jacket. “especially not with a beautiful lady on my arm.”

he glances sideways at you as he says it, sly smirk making his smile line in his cheek stand out. you resist the urge to reach out and touch it, instead looking down at your hands in your lap. you never know what exactly to say when coriolanus says things like that. you’re not sure if he’s being sincere, or if it’s just meaningless flirting to him.

he says your name softly when you avert your eyes, gingerly lifting your chin. “look at me, darling,” he whispers. he’s turned his body to face you fully now. his eyes search your face for a long moment before they trail down, landing on the snowflake pendant resting between your collarbones. his finger trails a path down your throat before tracing around the charm.

“it suits you,” he murmurs. the air in the car is suddenly so very warm, electric with the energy between the two of you. he’s so close to you, you wonder if he can hear your heart racing right now. if he knows its because of him.

“coryo,” you exhale, breath trembling slightly. you feel his touch again against your cheek, cradling it softly in his palm. his eyes seem to almost glow in the low light, the streetlights you pass making them appear almost translucent when they reflect off his irises. you both lean in simultaneously, eyes fluttering closed.

the first brush of coriolanus’s lips is soft, curious even. as if he’s giving you the chance to push him away. instead, you sigh and melt into him. his free hand comes to rest on your waist, squeezing softly as he kisses you more firmly when you don’t pull away. his mouth is plush and slick against your own, tasting like the sugary posca he’d drank.

you lose yourself to his kisses, slow and languid and indulgent, making you dizzy with how good it feels. coriolanus slides his hand down from your waist to your hip, then further down to tease at the slit in your dress that splits over your thigh. his teeth nip at your lip playfully, and he smiles against your mouth when you gasp at the way his fingers curl behind your knee to hitch your leg up over his own.

he encourages you to move so you can straddle him, sitting pretty in your silky dress on his lap. your hands land on his broad shoulders while his lips parts from yours, pressing hot, open-mouth kisses along your neck. his tongue drags along the side of your throat, making you shiver and moan softly.

“there’s a good girl,” he mutters, hands smoothing up and down your thighs that splay over his. “you make such pretty sounds for me.”

coriolanus’s words make you feel lightheaded, paired with his wandering touch and exploratory kisses. you shift in his lap just slightly, gasping softly when you feel how hard he is beneath you. his cock presses into the apex of your thighs, his hips pushing up subtly. he lets out a quiet groan, the hottest sound you’ve ever heard. the uncontrolled noise spurs you on, gives you the nerve to cup his jaw and bring his mouth back to yours and demand more of his heated kisses.

“stay with me tonight, my darling,” he pleads, panting against your mouth.

“yes.”

#ehehehe i PROMISE next part is when i’ll stop edging u guys and give u what we all want #i just love a slow build #its about the yearning 🤌🏻 #politician!coryo x secretary!reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #tbosbas #coriolanus snow smut #tom blyth

[dapper-lil-arts]

it's the season for yearning...

#i bet noelle would do that fr #just sit in a room and yearn while thinking about the song #noelle #susie #deltarune #chapter 2 #fanart #deer #dino #mariah carey #meme #all i want for chrismats... its yuo #suselle

[realbeefman]

frank reynolds is so silly and goofy he is always smirking even though half the time he straight up doesn't know what is going on. has done every single drug ever. canonical war criminal. has a food fetish. banging one of the hottest women alive (artemis dubois). is completely aware that he’s insane and doesn’t care. he is unmedicated and by god he is free

#something really deeply relatable about frank #he lives a life i yearn to live #i mean sort of #like i’m not that into foraging but if i had a buddy i could get into it #its more the way he just so flagrantly violates social conventions #like im so painfully aware that im weird all the time #and he lived like that!!! for decades!!! #gives me hope and confidence in being loved in spite of my more bizarre private behaviors #frank reynolds #its always sunny in philadelphia #its always sunny #iasip

[mishapen-dear]

Cant sleep so im thinking about ayhalo

I think its like. one sided. qaypierre WOULD smooch that demon and take him on dates. qbad would not recognize anything as a romantic gesture. aypierre could throw a bouquet of chocolate roses at him and bad would just be like ! thank you :}

like they love each other, absolutely. they TRUST each other, to the point where i’d even say it gets in the way of bad seeing aypierre as anything more than a good friend. that’s his guy. The dude always in his corner. Friend resource label: team mate (coparent) (down to help kidnap people). bad doesnt do classic romantic relationships- all of his relationships are INCREDIBLY queer, but the closest he usually gets to what others read as romance is a classic chewtoy4chewtoy dynamic. He LOVES to fuck with people and he loves to get fucked with and if there’s a nice jawline or pretty muscles included?? huge bonus !!

he’s got something- not kinder, with aypierre? not calmer, either, but stable, maybe. pierre has proven, over and over again, that he’s on bad’s side. Spying on tubbo, encouraging bad’s pranks, the kidnapping- i can’t call it a reliable dynamic, not with how paranoid bad is, even when he trusts, but there is still a feeling of understanding that, wherever pierre’s limits are for when he cant support bad (or genuinely turn against him), it hasnt been reached yet

aypierre, on the other hand, i dont know enough about to be absolutely sure but there are some Vibes. ironically, i think hes feeling like his relationships are unreliable. max was going to have their baby, and then he wasnt, and then he left him, then max fucking died. plus whatever is happening with him and ayrobot, which probably leaves him feeling like he cant rely on Himself. like he had, if not a little crush on bad, at least some Interest in him, before. as well as several islanders. i remember the days of the Bed Threat.

but thats part of it, too? because those flings didnt have that emotional connection, and i always got the sense that he started looking for that with maximus, to Love and Be Loved rather than pure lust. To care about someone, genuinely, and be cared about in return. but he didnt get that with the flings, and We know that max was using him, but i dont know if he did, but maybe he had a feeling about it and maybe he also had a feelinf about maximus’ feelings towards bad and maybe- there’s something about that? A little push of not-spite-not-projection onto bad.

because bad IS that reliability, right now. he’s a fucking gremlin. a bastard. a prankster silly guy. he trusts aypierre and aypierre trusts him and they dont share everything but so often, when it comes down to it, it is them against the world. them in the corner, caught, aypierre shouting about kissing as a cover for their crimes while bad runs giggling away from him.

#qsmp character analysis #qsmp shipping #<- because i DO think bad would be down to ~fornicate~ #but i dont think pierre drifts into that chewtoy zone enoufh for bad to get that Obsession #theyre kidnapping and escaping buddies !! who share food and secrets and strategies !! #but bad would do the same with the other french yknow #god i could go on for YEARS about how queer qbad’s relationships can get that demon is full of LOVE and that love is QUEER #i could make an argument that even his parenting style is affected by his queerness #in the way that he takes on all required roles for the eggs and cares for them SO MUCH #and SO OBVIOUSLY #as a dad/uncle that you dont often get to see in fiction #to the point where he is still in some way seen as a mother figure #but thats a whole different post #anyway this is part-analysis and part-silly written at ass-o’ #clock in the morning #if i remember ill come back to tag the ship for filtering purposes but i dont wanna throw ‘i think its one sided and exacerbated by grief #and general yearning for love/stability in an ever changing world’ when prople are just tryin to make em kiss #i respect the kisser causers have fun yall im enjoying seeing it #god i need to sleep #ayhalo

[the-mushroom-faerie]

maybe I've been spoiled by stargate but I feel like other sci-fi shows should have more archeology as world building. give me city ruins of when the Q were physical beings. give me ferengi El Dorado missions. give me evidence that Earth has been touched by aliens throughout history. give me dig sites on the klingon homeworld (idk how to spell it). JUST GIVE ME ARCHEOLOGY PROVING THAT THE UNIVERSE IS INTERCONNECTED

#stargate #stargate sg1 #stargate atlantis #star trek #mushroom rambles #these are all star trek references bc i dont know enough about other space shows #also its 630am and i should be asleep not yearning for archeology in space shows #ruins and excavation sites are just such good world builders and stargate does such a good job with that #and now i want it everywhere

[cerise-on-top]

how long do you think it takes Kate and Valeria to day ‘I love you’ to their s/o’s? love ur stuff fyi!!! 💚

Hello! Thank you for liking my stuff, I hope this is enjoyable to you as well! I think it would take the both of them quite a while to say it!

When do Valeria and Laswell Finally Say “I Love You”?

Valeria: It would take her a while to say it. I mean, once she’s with you, she’s already smitten, but she says “I love you” in different ways that aren’t just saying those three words. Valeria courts you with lots of gifts, that much is true, but the closest thing you’ll ever hear from her that resembles a “You have my heart, I love you more than the sun loves the moon, than the ocean loves the land” would be her spending a day with you where she isn’t spending copious amounts of money on you. But that’s not what you asked. Valeria will tell you that she loves you when you’re feeling insecure since she never says it, but on her own accord? It would likely be a year or longer into your relationship, on one of those nights where the two of you are lying in bed together, just talking about your lives, what you’ve been through and how it’s shaped you as people. Just venting your worries, voicing your appreciation for each other and how you’ve helped one another. It’s during such a night, when you’ve gone quiet for a moment, that Valeria would hold you close and tell you, in a voice softer than what you’re used to normally from her, that she loves you.

Laswell: Like Valeria, she shows her love for you through different means. While she may be a gift giver as well, she also shows you how much she loves you by doing anything you may or may not ask of her. From chores, to walking your pet, to cooking you some stew when you’re sick. Laswell doesn’t say that she loves you from the get go either, it would take her several months to a year for her to say it. But when she does, it doesn’t seem like a special moment to anyone else. You’re probably hanging up your freshly washed clothes while she’s sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in hand. Laswell would get up, give you a kiss on your cheek, and tell you that she loves you so very dearly. She was overcome with adoration for you during that moment and needed to show you that she loves you. It’s afterwards that you get a lot more I love yous from her. Not on the daily still, but they would be more common. She will always, and I mean always, accompany her I love yous with some form of affectionate gesture, regardless of whether it be a kiss to your temple, a hug from behind, or a small lovely rose she found in a flower shop. You will always be taken care of and loved.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #neither of them are too vocal when it comes to showing they love you but that's alright too #because one of them would watch the world burn down to warm you up with its flames #and the other one would break the world apart just to find you again in one of its crevices #they're not the most romantic people verbally but they'll always make sure that you feel loved and cared for #writing about the girls really makes me yearn for a girlfriend again!! where is my gf!!! I want one!!! #it's so sad that I've never met another lesbian irl either 😔 that is so sad I deserve a cute girl to hug in return for that #the yearning has been especially strong again as of late. especially since I saw a commission again yesterday #now I wish Valeria was way taller than me so she would look hot while looking down at me. but alas she's probably the same height as me #no amount of cute gir's love manga could ever cure my yearning I feel as though it's terminal 😔 #will I continue to be cringe in the tags? absolutely! I've got another request for one of the girls. a really fun one too #looking forward to writing that one! #I'm gonna post three times today so I can get out all the requests again and be left to me imagining giving a cute girl a hug

[poems-of-a-lover]

i need a boy to just. just kiss me. kiss the life out of me. kiss me so hard and so often and so passionately that i can't think of anything else.

#god please its all ive been thinking about for days #mlm #mlm yearning #mlm post #mlm love #gay mlm #trans mlm #t4t #mlm blog #mlm thoughts #t4t yearning

[feline-evil]

Hiding my shirt that says 'i am not normal about narratives that imply an inanimate inhabited structure is a living breathing organism' as i walk into a board room and pitch my idea that we should make more horror revolving around living architecture

#jay talkin #I JUST. I JUST. i'm thinking about old haunted house movies that have this grimy sticky feeling to the house #where the evil is not just afflicted to wood and bricksbut eminates from it as a hatred #the house itself hates you. the voice screaming get out is born on the vocal chords of the hallway #i am also thinking about The Hotel the podcast you should all already be streaming CHOP CHOP CMON NOW #which is of course a more unique and i would say more abstract sister to this concept #(said deeply positively the concepts and horror explored make my brain ping pong rapidly) #which is another reason you should be listening because it does its own thing that i think you should listen to and discover yrself :) #(and also it is far more than this this is just a tiny SLITHER of what is explored go listen NEOW) #and i am also thinking about. drum roll please. you know whats coming. yes it could be nothing else #kitty horrorshows anatomy which is TO THIS DAY one of the best and most influential games upon me i have played #a game that pushes this concept to its core grotesque emotional fleshy pulp and runs with it #anatomy is a game that breeds in anxiety and discomfort and bleeds a sincere love in the horror it portrays #that love is something i yearn to see in horror media! it is also present in the hotel AHEM AHEM #but yes anatomy is an experience like no other that you really should experience for yourself #(glances down at my shirt) um. um ok so ill leave the board meeting now thank you for listening #dear god my pain medcin kicked in and i instantly became the worlds least normal man didnt i. WELL!!! thats all of youse problem now

[girlyliondragon]

Now kiss (haha Jk... Unless??? (Toby PLEASE make it "Unless"))

Ello Deltarune fandom. Guess what ship has gotten my brainrot now 2 1/2 years later. :P Because ofc I go from one f/f ship to another and cling onto it. But fr tho I love these sapphics sm. I love them so muuuuuch I'm so glad they are semi-canon just 2 chapters in.

Been wanting to draw something with them since February, but because of art block back then I decided to just let my pen go on its own since I had art block and ended up with a rough of this and hallelujah lol ^^

Seriously Toby please. Take your time ofc no rush. But please I NEED to see them together again.

Also I love Noelle's glow-y nose hc so that's mine now too thanks fandom.

Art: Mine

Do not steal/crop/edit/etc. Do not tag as kin/me ty! Suselle haters DNI :U

#Deltarune #Deltarune Fanart #Noelle deltarune #Susie deltarune #utdr #Suselle #This is my first time drawing them ever #I'm very happy with how I draw Susie but Noelle is a different story. My perfectionism is getting me #Been wanting to draw something with them since February #decided to just let my pen go on its own since I had art block and ended up with a rough of this ^^ #It's all about the yearning <3 #her tail's wagging :3 #Em Doodles #I don't think(?) I'll be posting anything outside of art in the fandom tags #because I've had enough extremely bad experiences with fandoms so just art stuff now. Not taking anymore chances! #ya know. unless Tumblr's weird tag system screws me over :U #Btw The kin/me thing is more of a ''if it's not made for you don't tag it like it is plz ty'' to reiterate #More for personal art than anything. If I make stuff for people that do it? Then yeah go nuts xP #Me: Makes a freckle brush just for coloring Susie and can finally really use it. #Textures and lighting: Imma make it impossible to see #couldn't use my paper layer textures thanks to that rip I might do them manually next time #there's a reason I put the ''Suselle haters DNI'' thing from what I saw someone try to do a super wrong rant in the fcking tag but #IMMA KEEP THAT RAMBLING OUT OF THE TAGS TOO because like I said I'm not throwing that sort of aggression anywhere outside my own blog now

[creative-hanyou-girl]

You guys know on how InuYasha, the few times he talks about it, badmouths his father and says he doesn't care to avenge his death when he battles Ryukoltsei?

I wonder if InuYasha starts to regret his mindset towards his father once he himself becomes a father. Or at the very least, he starts to understand his father better. Especially if you want to go by the Movie 2 canon where part of Toga's death was from protecting InuYasha and his mom.

Just makes me wonder if InuYasha looks at Moroha or any of his other children and has the thought that it'd break his heart if any of his kids felt resentment towards him like he felt for his own father, especially when everything he ever does is to protect them. And I wonder if it makes InuYasha start to look at his father's memory differently, now that he's a parent himself and would do anything and everything to protect his kids, even if it meant dying and leaving them without a father.

Not that he'd go and try to get himself killed, as he wants to actually be alive so they don't have to grow up like he did, but you know he'd sacrifice himself if it meant his children could live, just like his father did for him (according to movie 2).

I don't know, I just wonder if InuYasha starts to ever regret the way he looked at his father's memory back when he was a teen once he becomes a father to Moroha and starts to understand his father's actions as a parent now that he himself is a parent. Ya know what I mean?

#not that Inuyasha will ever have to worry about missing his daughter's life because nothing bad ever happens to break any of them apart #and the same for any other potential children he and Kagome has #its just a hypothetical #Yashahime? i don't know her #all I know is Teenage InuYasha vs. Papayasha #and how differently the 2 must have thought on the same topics #like their father. and how InuYasha felt so bitter or angry at his dad for leaving him in the name of protecting him #while simultaneously secretly yearning and missing the opportunity to know him #versus Papayasha who looks at Moroha & any other potential kids with the overwhelming understanding that they are his whole world #and he'd do anything to protect them. including laying down his life if it came down to it #& how he realizes that his father felt the same way for him & in that way Inu starts to understand his father in ways he didn't before #but he also understands how hard it is to survive without a parent esp. as a hanyou & refuses to let himself get killed battle- #-leaving Moroha and his other kids at the mercy of struggling in the world without his protection #so he resolves himself that. while he is willing to die for his kids. he must work even harder to STAY ALIVE for them above all else #so that they never have to grow up without him and wonder if he even cared or why he wasn't with them #the way he did with his own father #inuyasha #inukag #moroha #moroha higurashi #inukag child #inukag baby #inukag family #inu no taisho #inuyasha family #inuyasha movie 2 #inuyasha headcanons #inuyasha theory #post canon

[fallen6253]

Still can't think of an interesting title, but...

Tanned skin.  White hair.  Dark eyes. Their gaze moves slow, steady, makes its way to the window of a subway car.  In the brief moment it passes by, a small head with black hair peeks through. 

There was no eye contact.  But they knew the other was there. On some subconscious level, as if their very essence were attuned to one another.  

A rumble.  The car trembles.  Then it shakes.  Suddenly it's been thrown off the course of eternity and into a place of being known.

The subway crashes into solid ground.

A dreaming boy wakes up.

Miles away, a priestess known for denying god staggered in her footsteps.  Another migraine.  Another message.

Accompanied, for the first time, by an earthquake.

Huh. New.

The priestess picks up a pen and paper and rushes to a place hidden in darkness.  

A young man, hair and eyes as dim as night alight with stars, is waiting for her at the door to a beautiful home.  He walks her to a sitting room, tables set to the tone of a business meeting as if that was what this was.

Business as usual.

Of course.  It is.

He has a message about this world’s newest arrival.  And…a request.

She says this looking towards a man known for his wit and wile.  Brown eyes saturated to a dulcet red.  Blood red hair.  Clothes fitting and comfortable.  

He was on vacation.

Was.

The note warned first and foremost that nobody would hear from the god for a while.  Apparently bringing stars down from the sky costs quite a bit.  Well, that was what the note said, but the one reading it did not know its meaning yet.

The note then told them that the epicenter of that earthquake was near his home, and the damage to the forest should not be too drastic, since the cause was made of stardust and dream remnants and memories far too old to recall anymore.  It should fade with time, as all memories do.  By then it will return to creation and merge with the forest.  Again, the reader did not know what that meant.  He could only guess some things.

But the last lines caught his attention.  For two reasons.

The first being the mention of a child.  Far too young and far too ancient for all that it has seen.  The second reason being that this god made a request.  Not some mission with a reward.  Not some threat or warning with a clue as to how these mortals would react.  A genuine request he could choose to ignore completely without consequence since the god was indisposed. A sincere gesture for help that does not involve favors or world-blaming calamities.  

This being known for death asked a single mortal to save a helpless existence.

And for once the person reading it did not think about rejecting it at all.

He could be annoyed about it, something crashlanding into his forest, but…

There’s a kid that needs help first, we can yell at god for throwing him here later.

Do you think the plotting protagonist kept a library with stories of others like him?  Of dying worlds and forgotten names and tired heroes who made too many mistakes?

#its funny because kim dokja knows death like he knows his protagonist #its also funny bc yjh is an embodiment of death while also being the one to never know eternal rest #I think he and GoD know what it is to truly yearn for real death #which kinda hit me hard when i thought about it #these tags are weird but yk #im learning #maybe kdj would have all his memories #or maybe not #idk #i suck at writing but meh #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #kim dokja #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #cale henituse #secretive plotter #yoo joonghyuk #god of death tcf

[lonely-night]

Seven of Nine/Captain Kathryn Janeway | Star Trek: Voyager, 5.15 & 5.16 “Dark Frontier”

Michael Burnham/Captain Philippa Georgiou | Star Trek: Discovery, 1.02 “Battle at the Binary Stars”

#voyagereditmine #voyageredit #myeohedit #janeway x seven #j7 #michael x philippa #milippa #its about the longing pining yearning #also about michael 🤝 seven ready to risk it all for their captains #anyway #was only gonna make a longing look post #might make another parallel set of these two scenes

[uncanny-tranny]

Part of why I think it's important to pick up a skill that requires challenge or skill is not only that it can be a great experience to have, but it teaches you so many things you never expected.

I've realized the reason I feel ancient crocheting is that this is a skill humans have been doing for thousands of years: textiling, cloth-making, and creating. Technology is amazing, don't get me wrong, but I think many people take for granted what technology has done for us, and we forget sometimes that these skills take work and effort, and continuous effort!

It doesn't matter what you pick up as a skill or craft, and you absolutely should do it in a way that accommodates you, but finding a skill or craft and doing it will teach you things you never considered.

#art #crafting #i think this is partially why you have dingheads saying 'ooh but how can ANCIENT people making BEAUTIFUL and COMPLEX art/buildings!' #watched somebody like 'oh but this cathedral is so beautiful and huge; why do we believe that these people built it without technology HMMM' #like. this is a fine craft we all over the globe have been doing for millenia. why CAN'T people 700-1000+ years before us do that? #why do you look at people through the lens of 'inherently inadequate unless i deem them 'sufficient' enough'? #picking up a textile art has really helped change my perspective personally #because i live in this world where you aren't... required to think about textiles like a textile artist or maker would #and when you DO think about it it tends to be how capitalism fucking destroys everything in its vicinity (eg fast fashion) #anyway just a point i don't think people tend to consider #i think i just like feeling ancient; like my bones yearn for the earth's gentle embrace surrounded by artifacts

[winepresswrath]

MXTX MC conflicts go:

Yi City: my boyfriend thinks I am a prolific murderer and specifically murdered a bunch of people his bff loves to get back at him. also that I tricked him into doing murders with me, for enrichment. I did all those things but did not anticipate having a feeling about his feelings.

Scum Villain: my boyfriend thinks I want to kill him but I don't.

MDZS: my boyfriend thinks I hate him but I don't.

TGCF: my boyfriend doesn't know I exist but I'm worried that once he finds out he's going to find my eyepatch ugly and my cavern of effigies offputting.

#it may be unfair to pull yi city #out of its published context #arguably it should be sitting at the doomed subplot table with Beefleaf and Qijiu #but I think it's more fun to treat it like juvenalia and this is my shitpost #and anyway it basically depends whether you decide Song Lan or Xue Yang is love interest coded #Xue Yang is absolutely living the full MXTX love interest experience except the author somehow didn't notice it's a romcom? #where is his third act where the mc realizes that all that lies between them is a big pile of misunderstandings and totally irrelevant #murders. he can make a zombie a-qing if he feels like it #sometimes I yearn to express my feelings about this body of work in graph form #love interest's ability to care about things that are not mc: down up down #love interest's ability to tolerate estranged bff #up up up #mxtx love interests wear grey and pink factoid is false #Lan Wangji who lives on a mountain and wears nothing but white #is an outlier and should not be counted

[mishapen-dear]

apocalypse au. cannibalism. corpses. Offscreen loss of loved ones

-

“Some leather armour,” Bad notes, tugging curiously at the straps of the corpse’s armour. “Euagh, almost broken, though.” The armour gets tossed to the side. “A granola bar? Okay, we’ll take that.”

Cellbit twitches at that. He wants to ask, “Do we have to?” but there’s several reasons why he doesn’t. Protesting a backup food supply is never a good idea, for one. It’s not worth it to risk starvation just because he’s worried that the backup food supply will become their primary. He tightens his hold on the bloody sword and insists again. It’s not worth it. Instead, he says, voice rasping, “There’s too many. It’s all going to rot.”

“You think so?” Bad looks up at him, then runs a critical eye over the little encampment. Ten bodies, some larger, but all fat deposits slimmed by lasting hunger. Bad licks at the blood left on his hand from looting the corpse, considering their haul thoughtfully. “I don’t think things rot that fast, Cellbit.”

He twitches again when Bad says his name. It wasn’t an admonishment- it was barely even an opinion Cellbit should validate, knowing how long it takes Bad to consider something rotten -but there is something yearning and grieving and desperate slinking between the muscle fibers of his heart that squirms to hear that disagreement. He’s shaking. He hasn’t stopped shaking. He wants to bite the edge of his sword hard enough that his teeth will crack into sharpened splinters. He wouldn’t need the sword, then. “I don’t- we should cook it,” he says. “Some.”

Bad snaps his fingers triumphantly, as though he’d remembered something. “Pre-digestion!” he exclaims so loudly that Cellbit flinches. No birds fly away- they’ve already been scared off. “Oh! You want to save some for later? Yeah, sure, we can do that. But we should eat what doesn’t fit in the car.” Cellbit doesn’t know how to explain that he can’t eat as much as much as Bad. Not even cooked. It fills him with- it’s not envy but it isn’t not envy, either. Some dissatisfaction.

Back in the— when he was small Cellbit had always assumed that it was Bad’s size that lead him to take the larger portion of their meals. It made sense, and he always got his fill so he was happy with it. Then, when he was grown, it was frustrating. Bad could eat an entire corpse in one sitting; Cell couldn’t even get through an entire leg. He’d realized then, gnawing at bone and just waiting to be done, that Bad couldn’t have possibly eaten an entire corpse. It was childish dreams made memory, morphed by the horror and the trauma and the things he didn’t think about. And now they’ve met up again, and these are their first corpses but Cellbit knows that despite their looting Bad’s share of the resources are always depleted, even when they come across a feast and- The clever part of him is wondering how much he’s really misremembered after all.

Bad seems oblivious to Cellbit’s thoughts. “We can smoke some of this and it’ll last you a bit longer,” he suggests thoughtfully, starting to dig through the corpse’s clothes again. “It might take us some extra time, but this place is safe enough that they set up camp, and we don’t know when we’ll get the chance again. Good idea. Do you want to carve the meat or set up the smoker?”

The thing in Cellbit’s heart writhes almost giddily at the praise. He thinks that he hates it. He misses when he could fool himself into thinking he deserved it. “The meat,” rasps its way out of his throat, proving him right.

Bad lights up. Cellbit can immediately tell that he’s up to something. “In that case- I have something for you that might make it… a little bit easier.”

“What is it?”

“Close your eyes!” The bleeding part of him wails at the thought of the vulnerability, but this is Bad. He’s only alive because of him. Fitting to die because of him, too. Cellbit closes his eyes and continues to shake. The back of his teeth are dry. There’s the sound of rustling as Bad does whatever, and then a triumphant, “Ta-da~!” Cellbit gratefully takes this as his cue to open his eyes again.

Badboyhalo is holding a knife.

Badboyhalo is holding a kitchen knife. Thumb and fingers pinching either side of the blade, handle out, an offering. It’s clean, except where Bad’s hands have stained it red.

Cellbit had been calm, before, the way you are when you’re doing what you were made for. Then he had been satisfied, and excited, and then jittery and bad and happy and satisfied and dreadful. Longing and hatred and benediction and fulfillment. The sight of the knife fades all of that out. When he grabs it, those feelings turn to static. Still there, still hunting him, but forced to back away in the face of its armed prey. The world smooths out a little and hurts a bit less.

Badboyhalo has given him a knife.

“Bad-“ he says, and doesn’t choke up about it.

Bad smiles at him. Bad beams at him. “I was waiting for a good time to give it to you. I know you’ve got your sword, but I remember you telling me that knives are your favourite. Is that still true?”

Overwhelmed, Cellbit nods a little. “Thank- thank you. Obrigado, Bad.”

“De nada!” Bad chirps, cheerful as anything. He pats Cellbit on the shoulder, gently, as his tone shifts. “The sky is still blue, Cellbit. Remember that.”

He wanders away before Cellbit can bring himself to mutter, “Mas às vezes está nublado.” But it’s just Cellbit now, and his knife, and the bodies, and no one living can hear him.

He’s already dropped the sword, he realizes abruptly, clinging to his knife with both hands. He needs to pick it up and clean it before the blood coagulates. There is meat in front of him, still warm and waiting to be processed. Still, he manages to pick up the sword and wipe it in the vicinity of cleanliness on the body’s clothes, his other hand still clinging to his knife. He cuts the clothes, and drops the sword to the side.

When the knife cuts flesh, he starts to grin again. The world turns into a loving red, and he gets to work.

-

Bad feels bad.

He doesn’t dwell on it. Guilt or grief- they both started with g. It’s probably even better, even, feeling guiltier than griefier! Take away the question of accountability entirely, hold control, do what he has to do. And he has to do this.

The log in Bad’s hands cracks. He giggles at it, then takes several quick breaths as tears rapidly pool in his eyes. He doesn’t wipe them, just carefully lays the log down into his makeshift fireplace.

Bad doesn’t like hurting his friends. It’s like a bad prank that leaves lasting damage; it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. But it’s not really all that bad, all things considered. Bad isn’t hurting him or putting him in more danger. If anything, Cellbit is safer with him. They’ve done this before- anything Cellbit can’t eat, Bad can, and they know Cellbit can eat Bad. It’s better. It’s what needs to be done.

There’s a loud lowing in the distance. Bad stills as he listens to it. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Cellbit still carving. They found someone else tonight. Bad feels some tension leak from between his shoulderblades. They’ll be fed and full, and slow in the morning. Cellbit and Bad will have more than enough time to get packed up after a rest.

Cellbit has someone left. Bad is giving him a gift, but he can’t give it yet. Bad knew exactly what he would do if it turned out his own loved ones were still around, and he knows what Cellbit would do, too.

If Cellbit knew that Roier was still alive, he’d leave.

#it has been a While since ive watched cellbit i reserve the right to be incorrect about characters 🙏 #theres a lot goin on rn but as i said when in doubt write cannibalism #throwing these guys at each other in my big ol sandbox #anyway CANNIBALISM #APOCALYPSE #CODEPENDANCY!! #one of my fave things pre purg was when cellbit and bad had That Talk and i fuckin Yearn for a universe where they rp more together #one of my fave sandboxes to play in is also apocalypse aus #thus: #feel free to ask questions about this au idk how much if any more ill actually write #i have no name for it yet but it can be summed up as Two Fuckers Spiralling #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp cellbit #blood #cannibalism #mishapen words #this was fun tho its been a while since i just fucked around :] #fun fact i wrote this all in tumblr mobile drafts #eat the living au

[cyberpunkboytoy]

My DID-having ass is experiencing so much world-envy for the fictional country of Vaugarde I'm going to throw up

#Didn't realize how much I needed a society built around the concepts if change and reinvention but holy shit I do. I need it so bad. #The legally normal concept of being given multiple names to transition between or change to... #the societally accepted and easy ways to craft a new body... #the traditions built around reinvention and throwing away aspects of your old life that you wish to discard #that also acknowledge that reinvention involves the destruction of something else. & the grief from yourself or others that comes with that #literally have never resonated with anything to this level and I am YEARNING #like. my life would literally be so much easier in that society #the fact Vaugarde also highly values queerness of all kinds only helps #going insane over this world-building tbh konda wanna overthrow my government & rebuild my country in its image tbh #I am Decidedly Not Normal about this fake country #no spoilers if you respond to this btw. Not done with the game #In Stars And Time #hi dev I know you have a tumblr so if you see this: I love you #thank you for creating this world and letting me have a peek into it #they say we can't build a better world if we can't imagine what that world would look like and #now i can. I know what my ideal world looks like. #textpost