#it’s not very fulfilling but it’s a job. I’m good at it. I’m fortunate

[nouies]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

thanks to @allwaswell16 for tagging me! i enjoyed reading your answers a lot! 1. List of works published this year:

ready for a war

Devoted

fuck around, find out

seven, seven

the embers are new

bet on it

Harmony

Cold Spring

two languages, one love

could start a cult

must be love

don’t let the fire die

2. Work you are most proud of (and why): i’m proud of all of them for different reasons, this is very hard to choose. i’m going to say Harmony bc it was the first time i made a collab with an artist.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why): not necessarily a work but i’m not proud that i couldn’t meet my writing goals set for this year (writing a fic longer than 20k words, finishing a wip i’ve had for three years).

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing: from fuck around, find out

“Everything looks lovely but please, call me Louis. What was your inspiration for the menu, Chef Styles?” Louis asks, beaming. Harry lets out a laugh, refocusing his gaze to the dining area. “I’ll call you Louis if you call me Harry, can we agree on that?” Once he gets a nod of confirmation, he continues. “When Oli mentioned you wanted to retribute to the people working for the movie, and that you wanted it to feel personal, it immediately made me think of the time I arrived in New York. I was a youngster, with no family in the city and only a promise of a job that I wasn’t sure I was talented enough to fulfill,” Harry tells, remembering the nerve-wracking feeling of accepting the sous chef position when he was so young and with not much expertise. “Uh, an old lady by the name of Vittoria welcomed me to her house. She was like a second mother to me, sharing with me not only her home but her culture as well. She came to the States with her parents when she was just a toddler but grew up surrounded by the Italian community. We used to have gatherings every weekend with all her family—and I mean all the family, children, grandchildren, neighbors…I learned a lot from her, from all of them. And I used that as an inspiration for today. You’ll see three courses of my version of some of the food I had the pleasure to share with Vittoria and her family. Just wait until you try the tiramisù…it’s to die for,” he ends with a sigh. When he looks back at Louis, he notices something on his face. Fondness, maybe?

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received: i love getting comments, and there are so many that i keep in my heart that it’s hard to choose. i love especially the ones under my rare pair fics bc it’s when ppl usually tell me that they don’t read rare pairs but they gave it a chance bc of me. it means more than words can express when someone trusts you like that.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard: when i was ill around july and i kept changing and changing my blff prompt. i was very close to drop out bc i thought i wouldn’t make it. fortunately i did and i finished my second fic on time.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: writing Pedro Pascal surprised me a lot lol like i’ve obviously read Louis/Pedro fics before but i had never entertained the idea of writing one myself and it was a nice surprise. also, writing Louis/OMC wasn’t on my plans either but i welcomed it.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year: i personally don’t see any growth.

9. How do you hope to grow next year: i just hope to finish the ideas that i have. i don’t expect for them to be masterpieces, i just need them to be finished.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): definitely my friends, the ones that read pairings or tropes they don’t like only bc it’s me writing them, the ones that hype my fics even if they don’t know if the story is good yet, the ones that offer their help and their advice to help me improve.

thank you to Anitra @allwaswell16 for being so supportive all this year, for betaing my works and offering your advice, and for encouraging me to keep going.

thank you to Emma @alltheselights who always reads my fics and leaves gorgeous comments under them, your support means a lot to me.

there’s three fics that wouldn’t exist without Mar @sunbellylou so thank you so much, my love, for being an inspiration to write the filthiest things.

thank you to Kenny @luviebaybie for being the most supportive even when life gets busier and busier. thanks for taking the time to beta for me, i appreciate it a lot!

thank you to Andy @outropeace for inspiring me to write abt Louis and the bodyguard, and for teaching me how to write a smau.

thank you to @linhuine, @smittenwithlouis, @nooradeservedbetter, @lemelous, @punkpillowprincess, @voulezloux, @disgruntledkittenface, @tokyolou, for your constant support and your friendship.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: fortunately nothing bc i write romantic stories, no sad stories 🤭

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: joining fic fests is not only an opportunity for you to shine, it’s a chance to build community so pls support works from the other authors in the fest, that’s what a fest is about.

also, hide your stats from ao3. there’s a lot of freedom in not knowing if your fic has hits and kudos or if it doesn’t.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: YES! i’m only working on two projects and i’m so excited abt them. the first one it’s a collab between me and @lemelous so expect a lot of gorgeous art, and the second one is a Louis/SebStan wip i couldn’t finish this year.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)@voulezloux, @nooradeservedbetter, @disgruntledkittenface if you haven’t done this already.

*All answers should be about works published in 2023

#my writing #fic talk

[violetrainbow412-blog]

The jacket [R. T]

Roger Taylor x fem!reader

Word count: 2k

summary: by chance you find just what you wanted at a stall in Kensington market… but some problems arise

A/N: I got a little (a lot) obsessed with the story of Queen and especially Roger, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Tell me if you like it!

It was a cold, cloudy day, like most days in London, and you were walking in the direction of a sign posted on a building; Kensington market. You had earned a little extra money at work, so you planned to spend it all on quirky, colorful clothes like the ones they sold out there.

The place was huge so when you walked in you didn’t even know where to start. Each time you were filling more and more the backpack that you had carried with clothes of all kinds and you were happy to find cheap things that would work for you. 

You were walking down an aisle quite distracted with clothes hanging on top of the stalls and almost like a miracle your eyes found it. It was an absolutely gorgeous jacket, just like the one you’ve been wanting for months, so you practically rushed over to the booth to touch it with your hands. 

It was soft, brown in color, and with plush fabric that felt soft to the touch.

“Good morning, miss” you heard someone say in front of you. You had been so focused on the piece of clothing that you didn’t notice the man. 

You were silent for a second, taken aback by the way he looked: golden hair, bright blue eyes, and white skin that looked neat. His features were delicate and he was wearing a long-sleeved black shirt.

“Huh… hi,” you said, feeling shy all of a sudden. 

He was very handsome and that intimidated you, but the sweet smile he offered you afterward eliminated that feeling almost completely.

“Do you like that? It belonged to the countess from a distant country, she used to wear it to go out for a walk on cold mornings and it was her favorite, but one day she had a fight with her lover and he got rid of the garment out of spite. 

It is a unique piece of its kind” he told you. Your first instinct was to furrow your brows in confusion, wondering if he was really telling you the truth or just making you look like a fool, but then you thought it was just a story he had built up on the fly to make the deal more interesting. That made you smile a little. 

“How surprising. It must have cost a fortune if it belonged to royalty.”

“Oh, of course. But I can give you a special price and it will be yours for the ridiculous amount of 20 pounds” by this point it was obvious that he had made the story up, but you were surprised to hear the price. It was a little more expensive than what you had spent on other clothes, but you couldn’t deny that you were captivated from the beginning and it would be a crime not to take home that jacket “What do you say?” he asked noticing your silence. When your eyes met his, you felt nervous again.

“It’s more than I expected,” you said sincerely “But I admit that this is beautiful. So that’s fine, I’ll pay for it” you exclaimed as your eyes lit up.

“Smart girl,” he complimented you, smiling at you again. You could tell that he was a charismatic guy “I’m Roger, do you have a name?”

“Y/N”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” he murmured and for the first time you burst out laughing.

“How original,” you said sarcastically. That was one of the most cliché phrases you had ever heard in your life, but even with that you couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m serious. It’s cute” he insisted. How old was that boy? He looked young, but the only thing that terrified you was that he was so much younger than you. You wondered if he sold clothes for a living or had a real job or if he was studying at some university or if he had a girlfriend. You weren’t attracted to all the men who passed before your eyes, but this one in particular had something that had captivated you a little. A bit embarrassed, you handed him a bill which he exchanged for the jacket. “Do you need a bag for that?”

“No, I’ll use it now” you answered and fulfilled what was said. He let out a low whistle.

“Looks Good. It was a great purchase,” he said. It was probably routine with all the customers so they would be satisfied with what they just bought, but you didn’t care.

“Thank you, have a nice day” you murmured as you took your things to continue with the walk.

“Have a wonderful day too. Whenever you want to come back, I’ll be waiting for you” he politely said goodbye. Again you thought that it was something he said to all the buyers and at this you showed him a grateful smile.

You thought that after walking through a few more stalls and not liking anything, it was best to go home. You could put on the TV for a while, make tea, and enjoy a lazy Sunday. 

You were wandering down the long corridor in thought until something interrupted your thoughts and made you let out a shriek.

It was that boy again.

“Hey” he exhaled agitatedly. He looked like he had run and his cheeks were flushed as he looked at you.

“Hello,” you said confused. His hand was on your bicep, but he only held it there for just a moment and then fell back to his side.

“Listen, I’m… I’m really embarrassed, but I need the jacket back,” he mumbled, but all he managed to do was deepen your frown, so he thought he’d better speak again “It wasn’t for sale, my partner left it there and that’s why I thought it was, but… it’s important and I’m probably going to end up dead if I don’t take it” he explained. You could have told him no and you would have every right, of course, since the mistake had been his, but he sounded so desperate and sincere that you felt bad for him. Maybe the universe was trying hard because you didn’t get it.

“I thought he belonged to a countess” you joked without much encouragement. He laughed nervously and was overjoyed when he saw that you had started to take it off.

“It’s more like a queen” he snorted and you instantly understood why his urge to get it back; it belonged to his girlfriend. You were going to give it to him when a doubt invaded you.

“You’re going to give me my money back, right?”

“Yes! Of course I will” he hastened to reply “And I’ll give you whatever you want from the position as compensation, I’m really sorry”

“Oh, it’s not necessary”

“I insist,” he said with determination “If you want you can accompany me for your money and so you choose something, does it sound good?” 

he asked with a smile. Either way you had to tag along for the money and you thought the idea of getting something for free sounded too tentative.

After you nodded your head, the two of you began to walk in silence, but it didn’t take you more than a few minutes to reach the place. 

You had expected to see a pretty girl, but in her place was a man with long hair and a furious expression.

“You are an idiot, Roger”

“I already told you I didn’t know! It’s your fault for just leaving it there” he defended himself. 

Apparently the opposite hadn’t noticed your presence and when he did his expression softened considerably.

“Sorry what my friend put you through, love,” he apologized, but you waved your hand dismissively. “But at least I have to admit you have good taste,” he continued, making you laugh.

“It’s a really beautiful jacket”

“We have some similar ones back here and there are also some dresses that I think would look perfect on you, what kind of clothes do you like to wear? Because an A-line skirt would really flatter you,” he started to say, pulling you inside and causing you to lose sight of the blonde. He had an impeccable fashion sense and for a moment you wondered if he was a... gay man. To be honest it wasn't something that bothered you, but many people considered it a mental disorder and a sin. Then you also wondered if the blond in front of the stall was that boy’s boyfriend “My name it’s Freddie, by the way”

“I’m Y/N”

“Nice to meet you. Usually it’s Roger who gets the attention of the nice girls, but now he’s too embarrassed with you to do anything” he sneered. You didn’t expect that and you were surprised, but with that sentence you had confirmed that the blond liked girls, with the possibility that you were one of them “Do you like this dress? It’s an antique, but if you pin it here and take off the sleeve it’ll look wonderful,” he continued. You weren’t planning on staying that long, but Freddie’s advice was great and you liked the view out there. At some point Roger joined the conversation, possibly getting over his embarrassment, and before long you were having a fantastic time. They were both very charming and friendly.

“Although I liked being with you, I have to go, I still need to buy a couple of things” you expressed embarrassed “But thanks for everything, the advice and that”

“It was a pleasure, you can come back any day you want, we’re here every weekend, right, Roger?” Freddie said gently.

“Sometimes only Freddie is there, I’m going to play”

“Like… in a band?” you asked, slightly interested, hoping not to be reckless.

“Yeah, in a band called Smile” he muttered happily “I play drums”

“Wow” you gestured “And it’s like… ballads and stuff?”

“It’s rock”

“Oh” you sighed again. You wouldn’t have guessed that he would do that, but now that you knew, his style seemed to fit very well. You could imagine him on stage banging on the drums.

“You should hear them one day” Freddie went ahead to say and you looked at him in surprise “You have a show at the Imperial next week, don’t you Rog?”

“Huh-uh,” he said, a little nervous. He didn’t expect Freddie to do that and he was going to make sure he charged him dearly.

“Well, I’ll have to go around there” you replied “If you don’t mind, of course”

“Not at all. The more the merrier, isn’t it?” he laughed. He sounded quite sincere and you eliminated the idea that he would have been made uncomfortable by the idea of you in one of his shows. 

“Well, it’s done” you smiled. You really had to go or you wouldn’t have enough time for the rest of the day “See you later”

“Saturday 8:00 PM at the Imperial, don’t forget it! Have a wonderful week, darling” 

“Goodbye,” said Freddie and Roger respectively. 

Both of them watched you walk down the hall until you were lost in the distance “Fred, may I know why the hell you did that?” Roger yelled, you were barely a safe distance away.

“C’mon! You were dying to invite her” he mocked his friend. Roger was so flushed that he looked like a ripe tomato “And I’ve never seen you be shy around women”

“But I sold him a jacket that I later took from him”

“And we gave her an item of clothing and my priceless fashion tips. I think that makes up for it” he continued, at his calmest for the matter “Besides you owe me this”

“What?”

“Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll ever get a chance to embarrass you again for almost losing my precious, so I decided to do it now,” Freddie muttered, shrugging softly, as he arranged a few china figurines they were selling.

“You are the worst”

“When you’re making out with her behind your car, you’re going to thank me,” he assured him. Roger grunted and then laughed as he gently shook his head. As much as he wanted to deny it, he felt a little happy at the thought of seeing you again.

#roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #roger taylor fanfic #queen fanfic #freddie mercury #queen #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x female reader

[poorshadowspaintedqueens]

what was your college experience like in terms of academics? becoming a doctor?

Hmmm, that’s a rather broad question. If we’re talking about undergrad, those were four amazing years, particularly from an academic standpoint. I was very fortunate in that my parents were paying for my education and I was attending an enormous land-grant university at in-state rates, which meant I was able to take full advantage of opportunities not available to a lot of students. Mostly in terms of taking extra classes every term and participating in three different study abroad programs. I started off double-majoring in English and History, and ended up with a triple-major in English, French, and Medieval & Renaissance Studies (which, until I started undergrad, I had no idea was even a field of study).

I knew I wanted to go into academia so I did what people were supposed to do in those circumstances, namely apply to graduate school. I applied to 9 programs the first time round and only got into one, so that choice was comparatively easy. It was a one-year M.Phil. in European Literature and Culture at the University of Cambridge, and while I was there, I determined that I wanted to stay on and do my PhD on the French Romantics and their relationships with and reworkings of English Renaissance drama. Alas, the two examiners on my master’s thesis had a disagreement, and my thesis did not received the necessary marks, so I ended up having to go home, get a retail job, and reapply to graduate schools for the following academic year.

When I reapplied with an M.Phil. to my name, I got into three graduate programs. I made the deeply questionable financial decision to take an unfunded place in Oxford because it had been my dream since I was a kid to study there. But also this was in 2006 and things were very different. I was told by plenty of people, including my academic advisors, that it was worth the risk to have a PhD from Oxford behind my name.

From a financial standpoint, it was probably the worst decision of my life. However, the three years I spent in Oxford were probably amongst the most intellectually fulfilling I’ve ever had. It’s probably all for the best that I was still at a point in my life where I was capable of ignoring racist microaggressions, and that I was in a stable and committed long-term relationship notwithstanding the three thousand miles of ocean between us, because aside from the intellectual fulfillment, those were rough years. I took out a mountain of student loans and I lived like a hermit, working up to three jobs at a time to afford my monthly rent. My department put me through the wringer, and I nearly quit at one point because they’d almost convinced me I wasn’t good enough.

To some extent, I finished out of spite, to show everyone who’d doubted me that I could actually do it. I then turned my D.Phil. thesis into a book in less than two years because I was convinced it would get me a job.

Narrator: It did not get her a job.

I am now 14 years out from my PhD. I have worked for everything from Ivy-League-adjacent private colleges to a rather notorious for-profit university that happened to be located ten minutes away from where I was living at the time. And the entire structure of academia has changed--or, at the very least, stratified to a point where it is practically impossible to get any job at all, let alone one with a decent salary and benefits. So if this question was posed with the intention of finding out how to succeed, I’m afraid you’re asking the wrong person.

This is not to say that I don’t recommend that people go to graduate school if they want to and have the resources to do it. Especially if you come from a minority or marginalized group, because academia desperately needs those important voices. But if you do, know that the system is rigged and that it takes an enormous amount of resources, effort, and struggle for comparatively little reward. Know that if it doesn’t work out, it is not your fault. And always--always--have a backup plan.

#vanitas vanitatem et omnia vanitas #academia #academics #graduate school

[bella-caecilia]

Could you please do 27 from the gentle love prompts?

Here you go, a little pre-canon Cobert piece, anon and also for @vinnyvangohsleftear who requested the same prompt :) Thank you!

Day 2

27 – defending them in front of others

“Yes, of course, she is doing all that is asked of her, but with what success?” his mother’s voice proclaimed in no uncertain tone and loud enough for everyone present to hear it. “I mean, Robert, that is really the bare minimum your wife is fulfilling here. Look at those flower arrangements.”

She picked at some orange flowers with pointed fingers and an expression of disgust written on her face.

“Oh really, Mama,” Robert put in. “They aren’t too bad.” But he couldn’t think of anything else to say. When he leaned closer to show appreciation for Cora’s critiqued flower arrangements, a rather repulsive smell rose to his nose. Maybe Mama was right and these botanicals didn’t have that much to them. But Cora’s efforts only being the bare minimum? Absolutely not.

Robert turned his head looking for Cora. She wasn’t with them in the drawing room but right outside with the two girls and nanny. Tea was over and Cora’s guests had left after uttering sweet compliments as they blew kisses on Cora’s cheeks. Mama wasn’t as impressed. She made these compliments out to be mere pleasantries and insincere civilness. Fortunately, Cora hadn’t witnessed Mama’s harsh judgement. Not this time at least. After teatime, she had been much too eager to meet Nanny halfway who readied the girls for their afternoon walk. Now, they were standing outside on the gravel in front of the drawing room. Mary was jumping on one leg, showing off her new skill with excitement and Cora squatted – quite unladylike he had to add – in front of her eldest daughter and cheered her on. Nanny was rocking the pushchair while Edith was sitting upright in it and mustered the whole situation with a sceptical expression. Robert was glad Mama was standing with her back to the windowfront, even though he himself enjoyed seeing his sweet family so casually.

“Cora is doing her job very well,” he said without taking his eyes off his wife.

“I can see why you feel like you have to say that,” Violet replied and redirected Robert’s attention back to her with this statement. She was fishing a last scone from the tray the footman was carrying back to the kitchen. She eyed the pastry scrutinisingly as she continued talking, “and I respect your loyalty to your wife, but if we were all acting like you on this matter, I’m afraid this estate would be in quite inept hands in some years. And it won’t help you fulfil your tasks to your best abilities either.”

From the corner of his eye, Robert could see the butler busying himself with rearranging the throw pillows on one of the sofas as a futile attempt to escape the awkward silence that followed. He wasn’t the only one who tried blending into the background at Mama’s latest statement. In his upwelling anger, Robert could see how his father stood at the mantle of the fireplace, still in his walking attire and his back turned to Mama and Robert. Robert was sure his father had heard every word Mama had said about Cora and had decided to deliberately zone out at this point, now that it seemed to get serious. Rosamund however, who was staying for a few days since it was Papa’s birthday soon, sat on a sofa next to where Papa was standing and looked at Robert with raised eyebrows, eagerly waiting for his response. Certainly, this was more entertaining for her than the ever-same stories that were exchanged during tea with the other ladies.

The sound of Papa slurping the remainder of his tea made Robert finally snap. His simmering blood now boiled severely behind his eyes.

“I won’t accept ANY of these things said about my wife and me!” He spat the words out in a dangerously low and forceful whisper. Mama’s lips narrowed into nothing but a thin line.

“In fact, Cora is doing an astoundingly good job, and no one of you – no one of us – can understand what it is like to be in her position. What I see is a lady adapting to all the demands and challenges remarkably well. And there is more than one way to do this job, Mama. Cora is finding her own way, with all your help and guidance, but it has to be her own way nevertheless.” His chest heaved, the adrenaline still rushing through his veins. No one dared to speak, and Robert challenged Mama with an intense look. He usually didn’t defy his mother’s words. Somehow, he expected more of a reaction from her than the ignorant silence.

Rosamund and Papa observed the dispute now with more curiosity. Papa turned around and looked his son up and down with some estrangement. The superior eagerness on Rosamund’s face was relieved by genuine surprise.

“You really are always so awfully defensive of her, Robert,” Mama eventually dropped. Before he could interject, Mama went on. “And you better get a grip on yourself, because this is truly no tone in which to talk to your mother.”

He took a quick breath and briefly decided to disregard the last statement. “It is not that I am defensive, Mama.” He couldn’t keep his voice under control, and it quickly broke into a higher volume as his anger took over. “YOU are just unreasonably RUDE!”

It was a good thing that the butler had left the room just a minute before because Robert knew, his mother would forgive him even less if he had yelled at her in front of the staff.

He heard his mother’s sharp intake of breath and the beginning of his father’s displeased grumble but only saw Cora through the window behind Mama. She was standing there in her dark green coat and looked at him with wide eyes. Nanny was bringing the children back inside but Cora was standing behind the window and looked at him with worry. His yelling must have been loud enough to be noticed outside. Robert saw how her eyes asked him if everything was alright.

Before his father could set to chide him, Robert cleared his throat, “Please excuse me. I’m not feeling quite well.” He turned on his heel and left the drawing room.

In the main hall, he met Cora whose feet quickly carried her from the front door to him. She stepped to his side and grabbed his arm to walk up the stairs with him.

“What was all that about?” she asked curiously. She shot him a glance with her attentively wide eyes. The bright blue stuck with Robert even as their eye contact broke.

“Oh, nothing.”

“You seemed really upset,” she remarked.

“Well, you know how Mama can be.” He kept his answers short, not wanting to burden Cora with the unpleasant discussion.

“But what could she have complained about? Everything went well today, didn’t it?” Cora leaned forward while talking, showing her full expression of confused worry to him.

“Exactly. That’s why I’ve been so upset that she had to dampen everyone’s spirit just because she is in a lousy mood,” Robert grumbled. He patted her hand where it held onto his upper arm. He was relieved when it seemed like this answer calmed Cora’s mind. She relaxed beside him as they ascended the last steps of the large staircase.

“Well, I’m glad tea time had been a success at least. I don’t want to imagine her humour if that too had displeased her.” The swing in her tone, that attributed undeniably to her Americanness, was unmissable to Robert.

“Me neither,” he just replied. This one time, that he was able to, Robert wanted to shield his sweet wife from the sorrow his mother often provoked.

When Cora let go of his arm and turned to him as they reached the door to her room, she practically beamed at him.

“I know I won’t ever get a compliment out of her,” she began. “But the absence of any criticism is enough acknowledgement when it’s your mother.”

Robert gulped.

“Now let me get my coat off,” she said in her chipper mood. She rose slightly onto her toes and breathed a kiss on his cheek. “Will you join me in our sitting room in ten minutes? I could use someone to keep me company while I’m doing my needlepoint.”

Robert nodded slowly as she turned the door handle.

When there was no verbal answer from him, she added, “Otherwise I’d have to join Mama and Rosamund downstairs.”

“No, no! Of course, I’ll join you, my dear,” Robert quickly protested. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Cora closed her door behind her with a content smile and Robert went to retrieve his book from his dressing room.

If you want to send in a prompt, the list is here.

#cobert flufftober #thanks for the prompt #cobert drabbles #cobert #robert crawley #cora crawley #pre-canon cobert #downton abbey drabble #downton abbey

[ultramagicalternate]

ULTRAMagic Interlude Chapter 4

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Master Post

After breakfast, Brenna took Blood-Wraith for a walk around the district. She explained her experiences with the Magician’s Labyrinth. The biggest obstacles they would have to deal with was the layout of the labyrinth. It was a unique realm in its own right and constantly shifted around. Things from places unknown were also all over the labyrinth. Blood-Wraith was not sure what to make of what he was told. It seemed like he was stepping into a mess with this quest.

“This seems, hm… this seems like it’s going to be tricky” Blood-Wraith concluded.

“Yup. So how do you plan to find your mom? I got a few ideas, but they’re just ideas at the moment” Brenna replied as she sat down at the grand fountain.

Blood-Wraith thought for a second. “Er, I guess we could ask around?”

“Hm… well it’s better than mindlessly trudging around the labyrinth. The only hiccup is finding someone willing to talk.

As the two brainstormed, Radovan walked by. He was on his way to meet with a city architect. “Blood, excellent. I wanted to tell you something.”

“Oh, hey dad. What’s up?”

“Hey, Radovan,” Brenna replied.

“Greetings, Brenna. Now I presume you two are discussing the Magician’s Labyrinth? Blood, I need you to go to the mansion real quickly and ask Kresimira to get you a blank family crest. Then take the badge to Barna and have him engrave it with your name.”

“Okay, what for? Aside from the obvious.”

“Word of your adventures thus far have had a good chance of reaching Rose and she is trusting, but I want you to present it to her just in case.”

Blood-Wraith processed that and it made sense. “Yeah, I get it. Okay, I’ll go do that. Let’s go, Brenna. Best of luck to you, dad.”

“You too, kids” Radovan said as they all went about their business. Fortunately he had ordered extra crests in the distant past to accommodate for new family members.

Over at the mansion, the two ran into Desislav. He looked a bit disheveled, but greeted them warmly. Kresimira was busy touching up some paintings when Blood-Wraith and Brenna approached her. Upon having Radovan’s idea presented to her, she darted off and returned with a crest. The dull badge depicted a sword behind a shield and a fist in front of the shield. The blade represented Rose and the fist represented Radovan (The idea being that Radovan would put himself first so that his family and his people would be safe). Before Blood-Wraith and Brenna left, Kresimira gave each of them a cookie from a batch she had made the day before.

The next stop was Barna’s home, with Aureolus accompanying them. They were greeted and welcomed by Corentin once again. “Hey, dad! I’m here and Blood needs a favor” Aureolus announced.

“Does he now? What’s the job, Blood?”

Blood-Wraith handed the crest to him. “Barna, can you engrave my name in this?”

He looked at the dull crest for a moment. “Ah, I remember the day I fulfilled this order. Sure, Blood. It’ll need a little a restoring though…”

Barna got to work by getting out a bottle of liquid and an old rag. He explained that the polish he was using was his own recipe, based on one he had learned on a trip to Shadowland. It was amazing how quickly it worked. The badge shone brightly with a luster close to when it was first made. Next it was left to air dry, as that would help the polish work.

“Sometimes it’s better to rely on a little elbow grease than resort to magic or alchemy” Barna stated. “You can, obviously. It’s just that I feel your skills can degrade if you ask for everything on a silver platter.”

“But magic is so easy. Why not rely on it, if you don’t mind me asking?” Blood-Wraith inquired.

“True, very true. It is easy. Firstly, I believe in the value of hard work. Secondly, I’ve always been worried about losing the ability to perform alchemy. I know it’s highly unlikely, but I don’t want to be up a creek without a paddle.”

“He’s got a good point,” Brenna pointed out.

Blood-Wraith nodded. “Fair enough.”

Soon the crest was ready for engraving. Despite what he had said, Barna got out a magic-powered torch. He wanted to make sure the engraving was perfect. A strange, focused flame cut into the metal. Sparks were thrown up as the name appeared across it. Barna was deep in concentration as the bright light reflected off of everyone’s goggles. Once he was done, he gave a second to cool. He then took off his goggles and gave the crest back to Blood-Wraith.

“There you go, lad. Ready to go”

“Thank you, Barna. Wow, this looks amazing. These must’ve taken a while to make” Blood-Wraith commented.

“When you first start, absolutely. It can take weeks to come up with a finalized product. Once you get the design down, you can crank out a dozen in a couple of days. It just takes a little patience.”

“Amazing. Alright, dad, teach me how to smith!” Aureolus said with enthusiasm.

Barna laughed. “Then let’s get to work. Corentin, can Aureolus borrow your childhood tools?”

Corentin looked a little surprised. “Oh, sure. Jeez, I haven’t touched those in ages…” He went over to his side of the shop and began rummaging. “... If he wants, he can have them. I just have to make sure they still work.”

Aureolus was happy to hear this. “Thank you, brother.”

With all that done, Blood-Wraith and Brenna said goodbye and left. On their way back to Blood-Wraith’s house, Kresimira passed by them. She needed to see Corentin as a painting frame broke. The two Schindewolf’s were also fairly knowledgeable in woodwork. This caused Blood-Wraith to notice how busy things were. Seeing so many people going back and forth was incredible. Some even stopped to meet him and were very kind and welcoming. It made Blood-Wraith feel very warm inside.

“This city feels so different from a couple of months ago.” Blood-Wraith’s stomach growled. “And now I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, it was very surreal coming here while it was deserted. And it is lunch time. Here, we’ll stop by Herman’s. I’m pretty sure he’s back open for business” Brenna replied. 

“Herman’s?”

“You know, that parlor Drago took you to.”

“Oh, okay.”

Returning to the ice cream parlor was quite the experience. It was lively with people eating food, talking, and even a few dancing near the jukebox. Several waitresses were moving about, taking orders and delivering meals. At the counter were two waiters and Herman Lydon himself. He had tidy, short hair and stood roughly 5 and a half feet tall. The eponymous owner was jotting down some notes over at one of the cash registers when he saw Blood-Wraith and Brenna approach.

“Brenna! How are you doing?”

“Heya, Mr. Lydon. Just stopping in for some lunch.”

“Well you’ve come at the right time… wait a second. Kid, you wouldn’t happen to be Blood-Wraith, would you?” Herman inquired. The six eyes were a dead giveaway and some of the customers were whispering about this.

Blood-Wraith nodded. “Yup. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Ha, I noticed some of my stock was gone when I got back, but then I saw the money in the register and the note Drago left behind. It’s an honor to finally meet you. I’d do an on the house order, but I uh, haven’t quite gotten things in order yet, haha…”

“It’s alright, Mr. Lydon. I understand.” Blood-Wraith took a menu… and looked confused. “Brenna? Help, I don’t know what to order.”

Herman and Brenna chuckled. “Don’t worry, Blood. We’ll have two burgers, two soda’s, and two orders of fries” She said as she placed the money on the counter. “Oh, and the same for on the go. I just hope Vex doesn’t eat lunch before we get back, ha.”

“Alright then. Don’t worry, Blood, I still owe you a couple of ice cream cones no matter what” Herman said as he took the order and collected the money.

Adding to the new experiences, this lunch was incredible for Blood-Wraith. He knew it was not the healthiest, but it tasted so good. Naturally Herman had to chat with him. This was to be expected. Blood-Wraith talked about his adventures thus far and Herman told him about his sister’s when they were young. Once lunch was done, one of the employees packed up Vexation’s lunch and handed it to the two. They then departed and began making their way home.

“Vex! We brought you something to eat…” Blood-Wraith called out as he and Brenna entered his house.

“I wondered what I was sensing not too long ago. Thank you.” Vexation sat down in the dining room and started eating. They were worried he would not be interested, but he ate the meal and seemed to like it. “Come… sit, you two.”

“Is something the matter, Vex?” Blood-Wraith asked as he took a seat.

“Blood, I’ve been contemplating everything that has happened to me recently. For the longest time, I was jaded and cynical. Being betrayed by the Lich was not fun. Suffice it to say I had lost my drive to learn and teach… but then you fought and defeated me. Your courage and perseverance made me realize that the Cosmos still has that spark it had back during my prime. Blood, do you know what kind of magic I used on you back in our battle?”

Blood-Wraith thought back to the weird, magic suit that scrambled his magic. “Um… I’m not sure?”

Vexation took a sip of his soda. “That was a curse. It’s a powerful form of magic that is lost to the Cosmos…”

“Lost? It doesn’t seem all that lost to me because… well… you know…” Brenna pointed out, making her indication obvious.

“Vexation smiled. “Guilty as charged, I was the one who sealed it away from man. I was afraid it would be abused. I made it so it could only be taught to those who possess ULTRAMagic.”

“Alright then. I’m guessing you want to teach me this? Blood-Wraith assumed.

“Yes, precisely. There is a catch, however. You need to prove yourself to me. If you can bring Rose and Thora back in a reasonable amount of time, I’ll teach you my knowledge of curses. I don’t want my work to fade away, truth be told.”

Brenna looked really excited. “Ooh, Ooh! What about me?”

Vexation studied her for a second. “Hmm… not yet. I’ll need time to judge your skills and character.”

“I… but I…err… um… Aw shucks… Alright, fair enough. Just know that I am not going to let you forget though!”

This made Vexation laugh. “Very well then. To be fair, you already seem capable enough.”

“Vex, can you use that one curse on me? The one that would’ve sealed me away? I want to know what it’s like. It’s been bugging me at the back of my mind ever since. And since you're so knowledgeable, I imagine you can immediately reverse it…”

Vexation looked a bit guilty. “About that… I was lying. Truth be told is that it was a curse that would’ve turned you into my personal servant of sorts. And I already used it on you. That magic suit was the first part of it. The reason why you were able to exploit it was because I made it on the fly. I realized that I could not let the Lich get his hands on you or your power…”

Blood-Wraith hugged him. “Oh! I’m sorry I was so rough on you!”

This made Vexation’s old heart feel warm and soft. “Don’t worry about it, Blood. I forgive you. You did what you had to do. If anything, that means I have to start training again.”

“Uncle Vex, I will happily help you train… once I bring mom back” Blood-Wraith stated.

“Fine with me, nephew. And I’ll help you with the ULTRAMagic Guild…”

“The what?”

“Oops! I was not supposed to say that yet…”

Next: Chapter 5

ULTRAMagic Alternate © 2022 William Ford II (ChaoticTempleKnight)

#chaotictempleknight #ultramagic alternate #fantasy #sciencefiction #sciencefictionfantasy #story #writing #writers on tumblr #literature #fiction #chapter

[wuntrum]

I love your art & your style! I’m also an artist & I want to be a full time artist one day, but I'm not sure how that may look, so.. Do you do art full time? If so how does it look for you personally?

sorry if this is an intrusive question, I just want to learn more :) Thank you! have a good day!!!!

hi!! i feel like this is gonna be a long answer so i'm gonna put this under a read more haha

so being an artist full time looks different from one artist to another---there's so many different ways artists can support themselves, some methods i don't even know about! keep that in mind, as the stuff that i'm doing right now isn't the Only way to do art full time :)

right now i'm doing art full time-i'm in a weird sort of spot where i either need to just Commit and really pursue art full time, or get a job...but that latter has proven difficult with my mental health, so either i'm gonna stay full time, or get a part time job once i see a psychiatrist LOL. i'm in a very fortunate spot where my rent is cheap (for the city i live in) and my parents are able to hypothetically help me with that if i were to ever need it, so that's certainly a factor in how i went from graduating -> freelancing. (i did also work a full time job back in july/august, and that money has helped me with doing art full time too).

my main income is through commissions---i've been doing album covers mostly, but i think for the future i want to explore getting an agent and representation so i can start doing bigger jobs like book covers and that sort of thing. i don't loooooove doing commissions to be honest---i love my clients, especially the ones who i've worked with over and over again, they mean the world to me---but in terms of actual fulfillment through art, i don't feel super fulfilled doing that. so long term, i'd ideally like to not take on as much commission work, or at least only do the stuff that i'm really excited about, y'know?

along side that i have some other "passive" income (i put passive in quotes because there's obviously still work that goes into setting them up lol), mainly my inprnt shop and instagram reels. inprnt has been a HUGE lifesaver because i don't have to ship any of the prints myself, and the profit margin's a lot bigger than other print-on-demand services like redbubble (it's not perfect; you have to wait a month for transactions to clear, and there's a certain threshold you have to make before you can withdraw the money...and it takes like a full week for it to actually show up in your paypal but i digress). getting people to buy the prints is the hardest part, but if you can do that, it's great! (it took me years to get my first pay out on inprnt, but now i can do it 1-2 times a month) if you have a certain amount of followers on instagram you can get their reels bonus, where basically if you make reels they pay you for how many views it gets; it used to be Awesome but now its just okay, the amount of money vs amount of views ratio has gotten a lot worse (used to be able to make $180 for ~40k views, last month i got paid $115 for 140k).

something i used to do and plan on doing again is creating an online shop! people make merch of all types; i've personally dabbled in zines and prints, i'd love to make more stickers and apparel. now this definitely has some things you need to consider: there's a lot of cost involved in actual manufacturing, getting the stuff you need to ship orders, buying shipping labels, etc. etc....i would recommend starting small, like just selling stickers + shipping them with normal USPS stamps, to get used to the workflow of owning your own shop. but, its definitely something to consider! if you like designing for physical products and want to actually Make things and see people WIth those things, it can be a viable avenue to explore! (i definitely plan on exploring it more, to say the least).

there's also subscription services like patreon and ko-fi, which allow you to set up a membership so that people can pay you directly and support what you're doing. if you can get people to join, i think this is great! the main issue is the actual getting people to join part...and to be honest, that's something i've struggled with myself. i thiiiink i'm gonna switch from the ko-fi i have now to a patreon, just because people seem to recognize the name more. i'm also gonna assess what i'm actually offering people, i really wanna do a postcard of the month? or maybe a zine club sort of thing? i'd recommend looking at other artists' patreons and see what they're providing, to get an idea of what that can look like. ideally, i would love to just be able to support myself through patreon and make all the silly little stuff i want to...we'll see if i can make that happen!

there's also selling originals, if you work traditionally as opposed to digitally. again, this is something i wanna get more into in the future. there's challenges to this as well, just like anything, but if you prefer to make art with physical materials, then selling that original artwork can be a great revenue stream!

in terms of social media you can also explore being a youtuber or a streamer...those have a lot of moving parts, and you really need to commit in order to see success in those fields, but if you like producing/editing videos or like the performance/live community aspect of streaming, that's something to look into as well! those people make most of their money through sponsorships / things like patreon, but having that additional revenue stream of adsense or twitch subs can't hurt!

another thing to keep in mind is that this sort of stuff can vary a lot from month to month! i won't be seeing the actual pay out until november (or maybe december? honestly don't know LOL) but i'm part of the shortbox comics fair this month, so that's another source of revenue that i didn't/don't have access to beyond october! the amount of, for example, support you get for a new launched product, or how well a piece performs (which then leads to people buying prints of it), or how many people reach out to you for freelance work changes a lot from one month to the next. my biggest piece of advice if you want to pursue art full time is to have as many different sources of income as possible! that way, you can account for the inherent instability of freelancing, instead of not being able to pay your bills because no one's buying your stickers right now.

i hope this helps!!! and i hope all the financial talk wasn't too dread-inducing 😭 i'd definitely recommend asking other artists too and getting their feedback; like i said at the start, "full time artist" looks different from one artist to the next <3

#faq #asks #THIS WAS SO LONG i hope all these words are helpful 😭😭😭 #i hope youre able to pursue art full time!! i believe in you!! #(and also theres no shame in needing to have a job #to support your artmaking. i want to make that clear too <3)

[yukidragon]

Could we learn more about Alice? Like what does Alice like to do, how did they react with other, any job other than Yogurt place, would they be friends with other sunshines?

Ahhhh, I’m so happy you like Alice enough to want to know more about her! I’m happy to give you some random facts.

First of all, I can think of many other sunshines that Alice would get along with. She’s a bit shy when she first meets people, but she tries her best to be friendly and approachable. Ironically, working such an embarrassing food service job helped her learn how to talk with strangers more easily, though she does get anxious easily if they get a little too personal too fast. Once she gets more relaxed around a person as they become closer as friends, she can get pretty silly and playful.

Popov’s Big Top Yogurtopia wasn’t exactly her first choice for a job (can you blame her?) When Alice was younger, she had a lot of different dreams, but her biggest one was to create a cartoon series for young adults. Think something similar to the Owl House or Gravity Falls, something with an overarching story to it and lightly spooky at times, but with characters who support each other and try to get to the bottom of the fantastical mystery they’ve been thrust into. She actually has a good number of notebooks with ideas as well as a lot of sketchbooks.

Alice is a pretty good artist, but she’s very sensitive to criticism. Sadly, art teachers who were unfairly biased towards real life photo realistic art critiqued her more stylized and fantastical works without really communicating how she might improve. Sometimes you come across some art teachers like this who see only one way of doing art, or they get jealous of a young student’s talents when they abandoned their own dreams long ago.

That’s not even touching on the bullying from her peers and online that Alice faced when she was a kid. She wound up deleting all the art and her social media after it got to be too much. It was several years before she posted anything online again, but it was under a whole new online identity distanced from her old one.

Fortunately, it seems Alice safely buried her dark past. No one will remember her shameful youth of cringe ships and Mary Sue power fantasies. No one will ever know... as long as Ian doesn’t say anything or share the copies he’s saved, and he better not if he knows what’s good for him!

Alice did learn how to draw more realistic art as well, and even took a couple art classes when bouncing around between degrees during college, but by that point she was heavily discouraged from pursuing her dream of creating cartoons.

Being an actor was a dream that was nurtured by Ian. Because Alice spent a lot of time helping him with his dream, rehearsing and learning how to act alongside him, she got better at it as well and found it to be another fun thing to do with her partner. That’s why at the start of college she disregarded her biggest dream to go after another dream that was still really fun and had the added fulfilment of doing it with the person she loved most.

Then, as I’ve said a couple times in past headcanon posts, the teacher in the acting class pulled Alice aside after class one day to give her the harsh truth that chubby actors get pigeonholed into degrading roles. With how sensitive she is about how people perceive her, the teacher was genuinely concerned about what the entertainment industry would do to her spirit. Plenty of actors suffer from eating disorders to maintain an unhealthy beauty standard, among other things, and the teacher didn’t want her to suffer from something like that.

After that, Alice tried different career paths, trying to find a new, more attainable dream to follow for her future. This led to a lot of dead ends - sometimes she found things she was good at but hated, and other times it was something she liked but a career in it seemed unfeasible. A lot of dreams died along the way as she tried many things until she ultimately graduated with a degree in computer science.

Alice has worked a few part-time jobs since she was a teenager until she got a full time position at Yogurtopia. It was a job she found within walking distance of her new apartment after she moved out of the place she used to live with Ian. It might be a cringe job, but at least she doesn’t have to waste money on gas to drive there.

After the disillusionment that came from having so many dreams crushed during high school and college, with the biggest one being a happy future with Ian, Alice was left very, very tired. She’s doing the bare minimum to take care of herself, often times forgetting to eat meals. She suffers from depression, but can’t afford to see a medical professional for it, as treatment for a chronic medical condition she suffers from eats a chunk out of her budget as it is. Trying to find a better paying job is difficult, especially when she has to work long hours most days of the week and is left with little time or energy to do more than to treat herself and try to feel better.

Alice is the oldest child in a pretty big family. Although her family is very loving and supportive, she feels pressure to make it on her own. There are so many siblings in her family home, and one of her younger sisters has more severe health problems than she does, which eats through her family’s funds. When she was younger, she caused a lot of issues due to her health problems until doctors were finally able to diagnose and treat her for it. She would have moved back to her family home after the breakup if she wasn’t so against being a financial or emotional burden on her family when things are already rough as it is for them.

Despite having such a caring family, Alice feels that she can’t burden them or anyone else with her problems. She has to handle them on her own, so she stubbornly is living in a crappy cheap apartment, working far too many hours for not enough pay, and struggling to care about herself more.

The illness Alice has is something that can’t be cured, and I would rather not pick any real life condition. It is, however, treatable through pills that she takes daily. It allows her to go through life without symptoms keeping her from living her life. It can flare up despite treatment, but they’re rare nowadays, and she has a high tolerance for pain as a result.

When Alice does have time to herself to do something fun and relaxing, she tends to watch TV, play video games, doodle in one of her many sketchbooks, or even make small RPG Maker horror games for fun. She’s just barely active enough on social media to keep up with the handful of friends she has, occasionally posting her art there for little to no attention outside of her friends circle. She’s overall a pretty introverted person and finds social engagement exhausting.

If Alice is feeling particularly good, especially on a nice crisp autumn day with a relaxing atmosphere, she sometimes goes out to the park near her home to draw in her sketchbook. Sometimes she sketches people passing by or the scenery, but most often she draws more stylistically. Although her dream of making a cartoon series is pretty much dead, she still draws little comics for her own fun, and has a fair amount of lore written up about different stories she’s made. Even if she can’t animate the scenes she imagines in her head, she can still enjoy the worlds she’s made just for herself.

Although, admittedly, the stories Alice plays with currently are all brand new characters and ideas since she’s moved to the new place. It’s been hard for her to touch the older works she held dear, especially those she’s had since childhood. Those ideas and characters were among the many things she shared with Ian, and he left his thumbprint on them, offering encouragement and ideas of his own. When they were together, it helped nurture these stories and characters she made, but after their breakup, it’s hard for her to look at them without thinking of him and feeling the pain of love that turned into something so very toxic.

Alice is trying to move on. She’s trying to start fresh with pretty much everything in her life that Ian touched. The tattoo on her back symbolizes her “rebirth” into a new person, one who doesn’t need to be loved romantically to not only live, but thrive. She’s always wanted a tattoo, but couldn’t afford it after the breakup when all her savings had to be used to rebuild her life. Fortunately, her younger sister Barbie insisted on paying for one as a birthday gift to her.

It’s not in color in this drawing, but in color it’s a pair of phoenix wings, intense bright blue near the center leading into fiery red, and eventually transitioning to glowing yellow embers that come off similar to feathers. (Yes, the subtle blue/yellow/red nod is intentional here too in her design.) It creates a heart in the empty space between them. It’s intended as a representation of her strength. Even though old dreams died, particularly what she thought was true love, she can still rise from the ashes and live on, shining bright.

Alice designed the tattoo herself, and she’s posted the drawing of it on her socials when she got it done, but she’s too intimidated to post any photos of her bare back online. Only members of her family, the tattoo artist, and a couple doctors have actually seen what it looks like on her.

Although the tattoo is in a hard to see place, it makes Alice feel empowered just having it. She doesn’t like to look at herself in the mirror anyway if she doesn’t have to. Still, she does make it a point to look at the tattoo sometimes to remind herself that she is strong enough to keep going, no matter how hard things might feel at times.

I think I’ll end the post here on that uplifting note. Thank you again for asking about Alice. I’m so glad you like her. If you’re interested in hearing more about her, feel free to ask me. I’ll be more than happy to go on another ramble about her, her relationships with the other Sunny Day Jack Characters, and the story of Sunshine in Hell in general. Thanks for reading! 💖

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask #My Art

[driftward]

Title: Sorceress' Apprentice - Chapter 6 Characters: Matoya, Louisoix Leveilleur, Y'thol Tia Rating: Teen Summary: Master and apprentice both have duties to a greater society that must needs be fulfilled Notes: None

"Archon Matoya," said Louisoix pleasantly.

"Hmph," said Matoya.

He arched a brow, but did not comment on her taciturn response.

"I have come to check on the boy, and have been asked to remind you of your responsibilities."

"You, poroggo," she said, pointing a staff at one of her frog familiars. "Go fetch the boy, and inform him of who it is." The little frog stood up at attention briefly before dashing off to follow her command. "Very well, then. I suppose it's been long enough, hasn't it."

"It has," said Louisoix. "I must admit, I was pleased to report to the Forum that your latest apprentice has managed to last six moons - a full two seasons."

He smiled, and she saw an edge of wickedness to it. "...for which my pocket book thanks you. That's a new record, after all. If it is incentives you are looking for, I could offer to split the proceeds with you should you manage a few full summers..."

Matoya sighed, and thumped the butt of her staff on the ground in irritation, and Louisoix smiled as he shrugged at her.

"You can hardly blame a man for trying."

"I can, and I will," she groused. "I did not realize your duties required you to aggravate me with your prattle."

"Well, not require, no," said Louisoix.

She gave him an annoyed look even as behind her, she heard the slightly dampish sounding pitter patter of frog feet, as well as the rather more solid footsteps of her apprentice. She did not turn to face them, merely making a 'come hither' gesture over her shoulder.

Fortunately for once, Y'thol was feeling obedient, and he came to her side. He offered Louisoix a bow. "Archon Leveilleur," he said politely.

"Master Y'thol," replied Louisoix, offering his own bow in return. Matoya suppressed a sigh. It was well that he could choose to be polite when he wished, and she didn't want to discourage that.

"May I ask your apprentice how he's been getting on?" asked Louisoix. A formality, Matoya knew; he could demand a report if he wanted one, and she was not going to waste time beating about that bush. She gestured with her staff to where Y'thol was standing, quiet, watching the conversation.

"Go right ahead, if it pleases you. I don't care," she said.

Louisoix turned his attention to Y'thol. "How are you finding your tutelage under Master Matoya, young Master Y'thol?" he asked.

Y'thol glanced over at Matoya before answering. "It's hard work. But I'm learning a lot."

"How do you think you're doing? Are your studies coming along alright?"

Y'thol glanced at Matoya again, and his shoulders slumped a little. "I think I am, but... well, Master Matoya is a good teacher, but..." the child was clearly struggling to say what he wanted.

"Sparing with her praise, I imagine," said Louisoix, looking back at Matoya.

"Bah. I will not praise him for merely performing what I've asked of him. Maybe if he does something of actual merit."

Louisoix sighed as he patted Y'thol on the head and stood up.

"You've got to encourage them, Matoya. Kind words can go a long way to fostering cooperation, camaraderie, a sense of accomplishment. Even just enough to let them know that they're doing the right thing, and doing it correctly."

"Pah. You coddle your apprentices, Archon Leveilleur, and call it nurturing. I call it delusion and deception. You have them casting a spell a babe could manage or that an oppo-oppo could mimic, and you tell them what a good job they're doing. What I ask for is not too much. Competence, nothing more. But acknowledgement of their bare competence is all they'll get, and they should be able to figure that out themselves. You can baby your charges if you like, but mine will know the truth of their abilities themselves or not at all."

Louisoix gave an exaggerated sigh with a shrug.

"Well. Perhaps you can share with me what you have covered thus far, then, Master Y'thol."

"...she has shown me drills for most of the spells I know. For those I don't, we've begun aetheric calculations for making new spell formulae, though I haven't actually made any yet. She's shown me how to keep up the enchantments in the cave. I look after the poroggos, though I haven't learned how to enlighten one yet. We've done some enchanting. She also teaches me history, geography, and I've learned how to read some foreign texts."

"...busy," said Louisoix, looking to Matoya.

"No busier than he can handle," she replied coolly.

"Well enough then. But hearken unto my words, as I did not come merely to check in on the boy. I have also come to ask when you intended to schedule him for classes with the rest of his crèche, and also to inquire as to when he will be able to fulfill his responsibilities."

"Responsibilities?" asked Y'thol.

"Well, you were already fulfilling them before your Master Matoya took you on as an apprentice. Service to the community that you are a part of."

Y'thol nodded.

"There's a fête soon, which I am asking the both of you to attend. Afterwards I can perhaps arrange a schedule for you that will be agreeable?"

"I did not ask for any favours from you, Archon Leveilleur," said Matoya testily.

"It is not for your behalf that I take this action, but for your apprentice, Archon Matoya. Who I still consider to be the responsibility of all of us, not just yourself," responded Louisoix evenly.

Y'thol frowned and his ears folded back slightly. "If Master Matoya needs no favours, then neither do I."

"You should not be so hasty to turn away a hand offered, young Y'thol," said Louisoix. "You would be prudent to judge whether that hand is friendly or not, perhaps. But we all would do well to lend each other assistance when it is warranted."

"Feh," said Matoya. "Favors owed, known and hidden. I'd rather my business be kept plain."

Louisoix shook his head. "Must you view everything with such cynicism? An offer may be made that asks nothing in return."

Matoya frowned at that. "There's always something asked for in return."

Louisoix shook his head. "And as for you, young Y'thol," said Louisoix, "as I recall, you were quite diligent when you were still in the classrooms and fields of Sharlayan. I recall you working quite well alongside your fellows. And surely that's not changed just because of your newfound apprenticeship. I trust that you and Matoya help each other around her home."

Y'thol turned and looked long at Matoya. She just shrugged at him in return. He could speak his own mind, or not at all, she thought to herself.

"...it's true," he said. "She helps clean the kitchen after we eat. And, well, I maintain the enchantments and look after the poroggos, and she teaches me what she knows."

Matoya harrumphed. "That's all well and good, but you're a child yet, boy. It's my duty to look after you."

Y'thol turned fully towards Matoya. "But if you're right, then as a child, I should accept Archon Leveilleur's help."

Louisoix chuckled quietly. "Well," he said. "I see the boy has learned a thing or two about rhetoric from his master."

"Hah! If only you were the one who has to tend to him," said Matoya.

Y'thol took a breath in. "Master Matoya."

"Go ahead."

Y'thol stood up straight and spoke confidently, as he had been taught. "I do want to help, though. With or without Archon Leveilleur's favour. I'm learning much and more here, but there's more to the world than just your cave, and I want to be a part of it."

"Very well, then. If the boy's so keen on it, then perhaps we'll accept your help." She held up a hand before Louisoix could speak further. "But it will be on my terms or not at all. He'll learn, and I would see him taught right. It'll simply not do for such talent to be wasted at the knee of the Forum's curriculum. As for my part, I shall send my lesson plan with you, and I shan't hear any complaints about it."

"In that, we are in agreement," said Louisoix. "So if I can find a path that is agreeable, you will continue his teachings, and both of you shall fulfill your obligations?"

Y'thol nodded, and Matoya shrugged.

"Very well, then. It'll be good to see you out and about once more, Master Y'thol. With that, I take my leave, lest I wear out my welcome."

"Like that's ever stopped you before," said Matoya. "Good day, Archon Leveilleur."

"Good day, Archon Matoya, Master Y'thol," said Louisoix, offering a deep bow before turning and heading out.

Matoya looked down at Y'thol, who frowned up at her.

"...if you weren't planning on helping out, how'd you know to have a lesson plan?"

Matoya smiled.

"Never let them have it easy, boy. Let that be a lesson," she said.

#final fantasy xiv #matoya #louisoix leveilleur #y'thol tia #one sorceress' story #sorceress' apprentice #sorceress' apprentice - chapter 6 #202210-02 #biot writes

[heartlandians]

Meet Cindy Busby | Actress

We had the good fortune of connecting with Cindy Busby and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Cindy, what makes you happy? Why?

Something I’ve realized throughout my life is that nothing can actually “make me happy”. If I rely on my external world to dictate my feelings then I’m bound to be disappointed, so I focus on myself instead and what I can control.

Everyday I choose to prioritize consistent self love and self care practices like exercise, my dog, meditate, sleep, cook, write, laugh, and read. I maintain a lifestyle that allows me to find appreciation in the simple things. Creating connection and having deep and meaningful conversation with family and friends.

At times, when I do find myself in states of “unhappiness” its typically because I’ve lost balance and routine in my life, which takes me out of alignment with what fulfills and inspires me. By creating a practice of daily gratitude, I’m able to be the best version of myself and stay “happy” no matter what life may throw my way and therefore my happiness is no longer altered by the unpredictability of life but rather thrives despite it.

As an actor, it’s easy to get caught up in the disappointment of not booking the job and see it as a competition against all these other actors, but my modo is “if something is meant for me then it won’t pass me by”. I still get bummed sometimes but I don’t hold on to it so long. I wish I would have known that sooner, haha! 

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?

I’ve been a professional actress, performer and storyteller for over 20 years. I often think of how far I’ve come and I’m filled with so much appreciation. It’s certainly been an emotional rollercoaster ride and a huge learning experience. The journey hasn’t always been easy but as I look back it’s always been worth it and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I remember a specific experience I had when I first started acting, where the cast was not very kind to me (the show shall not be mentioned) and it really left a mark on my heart. In that moment I made a promise to myself that I would never treat others like that no matter how “big” or “small” my role would be. I pride myself on how I show up in my work. I’ve made it a priority to be a positive presence to everyone I encounter on set. My work ethic, positive attitude and consistency has given me longevity in a business that can be pretty hard to crack. My reputation is important to me and I take it very seriously. I’m confident that it’s afforded me many opportunities that I’m forever grateful for.

Next up, I’m excited to not only be working in front of the camera but also behind the scenes. I’ve had a writing partner for 2 years now and we have multiple projects in the works. It’s been a ton of fun to exercise a new creative muscle and I’m really excited for what’s to come, so stay tuned!

Here are some of my favourite restaurants: Catch LA, Isabel, Bestia, Great White, Cavatina at the Sunset Marquis, Laurel Hardware, Marvin, Harriett’s Roof Top, Cecconi’s, and AOC.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?

I live in Los Angeles, and there’s no lack of touristy things to do here, but I prefer to give my friends a locals experience, and staying away from the mayhem.

My Favourite activities: Manhattan Beach walk and shop, El Matador Beach, Walk around Beverly Hills and grab lunch at The Farm, The Comedy Store, The Grove, Runyon Hike, Hollywood Sign Hike, Fryman Hike, The Observatory Hike, Abbot Kinney Brunch and shop, Groundlings show, Cinespia Movie Screenings, Show at the Hollywood Bowl or The Greek.

My favourite areas in LA are West Hollywood, Hollywood, SilverLake, Los Feliz, The Arts District, and Manhattan Beach.

There’s so much diversity in LA but it’s also really spaced out and there’s busy areas, slower areas, and also areas you don’t want to be around, so make sure you do your research! 

My husband has also been a massive part of my success too. From the moment we met he has been by my side holding down the fort when I’m away shooting, taking care of our dog, and making sacrifices so I can go make a movie in another country. He never questions it and is the first person to tell me to go. It brings me peace to know we’ve got each other’s back.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?

I feel really grateful to be surrounded by so many talented, honest, loving and supportive people. From the very beginning, my family has been an instrumental part of me pursuing my dreams. When I was a little girl they always encouraged me to follow my passion, despite them knowing little to nothing about the entertainment industry. They would pick me up after my theatre rehearsals, run lines with me, and be happy for me when I’d book the part. It’s a lot easier when you have people you love cheering you on and encouraging you to keep going no matter how challenging it all can be.

Although it would take too long to write all the names down, I recognize that the wisdom I’ve acquired throughout my career, the countless memories I’ve made in the entertainment industry and the person I’m proud to be today is thanks to my fellow performers, directors, producers, casting directors, teachers, mentors, photographers, and hundreds of crew members. From memorable conversations, fun adventures, laughs, smiles, and hours of hard work, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t appreciate all of it and what it’s brought to my life.

Source

#heartland #cindy busby #interview #shoutout LA #los angeles

[alyjojo]

July 🎉 2022 Monthly - Gemini

Whole of your energy: King of Wands

Clarified by Ace of Swords. This reading looks amazing by the way and I’m here for it, about time right? 🎊 King of Wands can be your own energy, taking the wheel, taking initiative, stepping up to the plate and taking control of a situation. You could be clearing the air and speaking your truth with someone or bringing clarity to situations that seem to lead in beneficial directions for you. This King is a very passionate, charismatic, social & ambitious person, he has a skill for winning people over to his side, and getting what he wants, and a lot of these cards are related to money, it seems like you’re finally getting your way at work. If not you, this can be someone like a boss that’s bringing you good news. There’s a Tower out here already, but I dare say it’s a GOOD one (whaaaat? 😦)

What’s going on in July:

9 Cups:

999 could mean something special for you, 9 is a number of independence, abundance, spiritual gifts, wishes & dreams realized. This is clarified by SO MUCH STRESS. Almost all Gemini energy, you have been stressing tf out about a situation for who knows how long, and you don’t seem to have been that open about it either. It could be someone not talking to you, because there is a blockage in communication here, and you’re the one with the Ace, you’re fixing this imbalance in communication. Opening up. Providing clarity. This can be work related, love related, or both in different ways. Stressed to the point you can’t sleep, you can’t think, you can’t function without worrying about this thing and how it’s keeping you trapped, stuck, sick, weak, what have you. Whatever this is you’ve been upset over is turning out to be just fine, in most cases. If this has been a situation of grief or loss, something good is coming from it now and you’re going to be very happy about this. If you’ve been crushing on someone, you’re finally saying so and it’s turning out to be a good thing. Wheel of Fortune is out here, you’re on the up cycle of fate. A wishes fulfilled & dreams realized kind of happy 😊

6 Wands:

Success, victory, recognition, overcoming the challenges you’ve been going through recently. Seems to be career or financially related, you’re traveling towards something with a lot of potential for more money. This is a card of raises, promotions, public recognition for something, all good things coming your way!

Wheel of Fortune:

You’ve been kissed by luck dahhling, fortune favors whatever you’re doing. It’s clarified by 6 Pentacles, some kind of gift, and The Tower, it’s coming out of left field and liable to shock the heck out of you. Like I said, a good Tower. This King of Wands may be the one behind all of this if it’s someone you know, otherwise it’s something you’ve been working towards and it’s just coming together better than you ever imagined. Still might pull the rug out from under your feet, you won’t expect it. Towers are sudden and shocking, they tend to change everything from how it was before, and it can simply be a perspective.

Death rev:

If you’ve been in a pickle financially, even romantically, things are changing on that front too. Well, by not changing. If you were on the verge of a breakup or some kind of blockage in love, you’re messaging this person you don’t want this to end, you want it to heal, and you have feelings for this person and want to commit to them. If this is career, it may not be a whole new job but the same job in another position. You may have been ready to throw in the towel, some of you could’ve stood in front of your boss like LOOK man I am done with this, and they’re offering you something amazing to keep you from leaving them. An ending is being avoided by taking action and it heals whatever has had you feeling disappointed.

The Hierophant:

Could be a serious relationship for some, that’s being healed. For others this can represent a company or business. If a promotion is what this story is, then this particular card is a position of authority. It’s followed by The Sun (also promotion & success), and 9 Pentacles (more money!). If a relationship then you’re both in an energy of being happy apart, and happier together. Things are working out on all fronts for you in July 💙

Signs you may be dealing with:

Scorpio, Pisces, Leo, Taurus & Sagittarius

Oracles: ✨

11 New Day

A new day enables us to see in a brand new light. As can see more clearly once the shadows of fear and doubt are cleared away by the light of creation. Once the initial shock of discovering the duality in a situation has worn off, you can find comfort that there truly is no bad or good. It just is. When this is realized, the possibilities for the outcome of a situation become endless. This card also advises to wait. Everything regarding this situation has yet to unfold.

We enter into July as:

Wolf of White Light 🌙

“There is a guide inside of us.”

Wolf of White Light comes to remind you that you must use your instinct, for it is what protects you. You are more aware of this than you realize. Your instinct is finely tuned and accurate, so why doubt it? He reminds us that focusing on past injustices will not prepare us for the present. Wolf of White Light warns that time spent in the past also leaves you defenseless in the future. Letting go of the old is signified, for if you do not, you may miss the opportunities that Spirit has planned for you. Wolf is the spirit guide that comes to lead you up the mountain you are about to climb. He only appears to those seeking a guide. Allow him to guide you, and follow your instincts. Remember that when the Wolf appears, it’s time to move on. He is a reminder that your journey is guided. With your eyes focused forward, the Wolf is waiting in the distance for you. Now is the time.

What is to be learned in July:

Blue November 🕊

“ A window is opened as a door gently closes.”

The passing of things in our lives is inevitable. Jobs, people, friendships, or relationships. This card is a message that whatever is going on requires a release on your part. There is no healthy escape from your own feelings. This card is a reminder that what is taken away is replaced with something else, in some form, eventually. You may not even be aware of the loss, but others around you are feeling it, in some cases. This could represent some unexpected news. You must be grateful for what you have. A coming celebration will pull you through whatever is coming. Do not be afraid that you are avoiding your feelings by celebrating. Your feelings will surface, and resurface, when they’re supposed to. Whatever is pending that you must face will not be as frightening as it is in your mind.

Blue may be a lucky color 💙

#gemini tarot reading #gemini monthly reading #july 2022 #Gemini #tarot #monthly

[makhair]

Mickey Alan Kravitz MAK Hair Products Five 5 star amazon reviews

Mak hair products established 2012, specialize in hair growth support shampoos and conditioners, Non Comedogenic products and styling products. ZOE hair growth support shampoo and container, Listed are five 5 star amazon reviews.

 5.0 out of 5 stars

MAK "ZOE" Shampoo is The Best Shampoo On The Market! Amazing Results, Extraordinary Product Line. 5 Stars!

Size: shampooVerified Purchase

I'm a fifty year old male pharmacist with thinning hair. Over the years I've tried a plethora of different shampoos, tonics, oils, and of course Rogaine for men in an effort to preserve my youthful locks--much of which are silvery brown at this point. I can say with some certainty that I've managed to slow down the thinning process through my usage of several anti-DHT products spanning some three decades. I feel fortunate too that I am often complimented for having most of my hair left at such an advanced age. Hair is an outward, visible expression of our personalities and losing hair for whatever reason is not a pleasant experience for a man--and certainly for a woman. It is never easy to find hair products for myself that I genuinely like. Some products weigh my fine hair down, some products leave an oily residue, and worst of all a majority of products I try leave my hair dry and brittle. I am happy to relate to anyone willing to listen that the MAK line of products for hair is the holy grail I have been searching for all these years. The MAK 'Zoe' shampoo and the MAK conditioner products each wash out clean without weighing the hair down, and both products possess a pleasant, fresh smell that hints of lavender/citrus respectively. The burning question for me and many others is whether or not these products are capable of growing hair. Considering the impressive list of herbs, vitamins, and botanicals contained in this individual product, I'm willing to bet that this shampoo is entirely capable of fulfilling its claims for a majority of its users. I've only been using it for 6 weeks, so it is far too soon to tell for myself at this point. Hair growth is a very complicated, hormonally regulated process and I predict at least three months may be required to ascertain the real benefits of this shampoo. Nevertheless, I am impressed with the science behind the formulation of this product line and certainly plan to make it a mainstay in my daily ritual for this reason. Yes, the product line is a bit pricey but my own opinion is that MAK products are worth every penny. The shampoo and conditioner products are the best I've ever used and I can't recommend them highly enough. 5 stars for MAK Zoe Shampoo!

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Great Product, they really work I had heard good ...

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Great Product, they really work I had heard good thing about Mak products from my sister and I decided to give them a try and I’m really glad I did. My sister and I both have thinning fine hair and this shampoo really makes a big difference in volume, washe our nice, smells great and no build up. I have noticed a lot less hair loss and my hair feel and looks so much better. The conditioner also feels really nice, it’s a deep conditioner thats light weight, does not weight my hair down and only take a very small amount to do the job. I also started using the Mak hairs spray and vitamins, I will recommend these product to friend.

5.0 out of 5 stars

Great Product!

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This is a really great product! I have thin hair, and the first thing I noticed after using this shampoo and conditioner, was an increase of fullness in my hair and more shine! And what I really love is I see MUCH less hair in the shower drain now that I’ve switched to this product. Definitely recommend for anyone that wants fuller, shinier, healthier looking hair, or for anyone that wants to keep what they’ve got! 5 stars

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Clean and Light feeling

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I have used this Shampoo for about 2 weeks now and I love it. I haven't seen much in terms of helping with hair growth as it hasn't been very long, but the absolute clean and light feeling I have to my hair is amazing. I only wash my hair twice a week to keep the purple coloring I have in and this shampoo does not strip the color like other shampoos. The cost is more than I would like to pay and I will have to see if I can continue to buy it, but I feel the product does an amazing job.

5.0 out of 5 stars

Favorite DHT blocker shampoo

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I have tried several DHT blocker shampoo's and conditioner's over the years and by far this one has worked the best. With the combination of the shampoo, conditioner and the vitamin supplement they make I have noticed a dramatic improvement over the last few months. I have noticed way less hair loss in the drain and my hair looks fuller. My husband also uses it and loves the way his hair looks fuller. Happy we found this product.

#hair growth support #mak hair products #hair products #mickeyalankravitz #amazon #hair growth products

[blondrichclosetwitch]

Horse hospital February 1, 2017:

(This was an early early morning; I had been woken up with my stomach in pain, and when I asked what was happening, I was told that Blond attacked jakk. Horse is a spirit that my medium friend from cali had mentioned to me in October, but I don’t know that I ever actually spoke to an animal spirit. Though I see a lot of dogs and cats running around my apartment)

Was it a knife?

Are the spirits protecting him?

So is that why I had the dream about him texting me saying me telling me he was moving away?

But he’s gonna press charges against her now though, right? But the dream was him saying I’m in trouble.

I mean, fuck. I mean is this happening in real time?

Cause the good thing about it is we can now press charges…

It’s bad? Fuck…

I mean obviously I can’t tell anybody. _you know? We’ve done it so many times that people just think I’m fucking Looney Tunes.

I should have figured from that nine of swords. That he was really scared. He was living with a crazy person. So what can I do? I mean because I’m not supposed to be in communication with him, right?

(Visualizing) Jakk we are with you. You have all these women who love you. Am I supposed to do stuff like that? talk to him? and send him support? Work with an altar, and… Just keep doing what I’ve been doing. The altar is really pretty.

Oh poor boy. God. (Boiling hot water)

Is Stella with him? She was. She had been with him all night?

Did she tell him that everything will be OK?

(Tarot cards—-muffled, away from phone)

Deep sadness, unhappiness, heartbreak. Is this for jakk? Or is it both of us? It’s for Jakk. So is it because of… Carrying emotional wounds?

It’s because of the shit with Blond, right? Are there things I can do to help take out the poison

He’s not gonna turn to, is he gonna turn to alcohol?

Or drugs to heal?

Is it going to turn to alcohol? Is he gonna turn to drugs?

So I gotta talk to him.

Cause that’s what he’s been doing, right?

So what was my 2 of swords reversed…is that about my job?

So what jack needs is for us to help him get through this, and what he’s gonna need… Are we gonna be able to talk to him in the flesh soon? Now that this has happened. Does this mean I’m gonna be able to go back to Tantra? Because she’s in jail?

(Pause)

I mean I can’t tell but it looks like… If she’s in jail, then I’ll be less scared about sexwork. You know? Should we do cards? A small reading on it please?

Damn.

Is he OK? Poor thing.

Is he really in the hospital?

Did this happen? Horse. Did this happen? Cause you know I get tired, I can’t be woken up with my stomach in knots. You know? As much as I love this boy.

Like how many times do we have to do this? Do I look like I’m wide awake to you?

Psychic j 2/1/17

Who have I gotwith me? Horse? OK.

Let’s do… Teach me Tarot. So let’s make this… Wheel of fortune… Is this about jack?

Yeah.

“ The yellow colors suggest that they are mentally working very hard to assimilate this information. The creatures represent the four elements. The books they read contain knowledge not only about their element but also the other three. They all have absorbed much knowledge at this stage and will be analyzing its meaning and how it should be applied to life. However at this point of the journey, they would not yet be qualified or well-versed enough on each element to have full understanding or appreciation of that power, however they do understand that to be complete, to be hole or fulfilled, within and without they must find the correct balance and understanding not just of their own element, but of each others. Only then will true enlightenment come. These winged creatures appear once more in the final card of the major arcana, by then they are in full color. After completing their individual journeys with the successes and glories, trials and tribulations, ups and downs, gains and losses they will finally understand the lessons to be learned in each element.”

“When the wheel of Fortune appears in a spread upright it strongly points to a positive change in circumstances.

It is important not to get too cocky with yourself because remember pride cometh before a fall.”

“ and when the wheel makes its downward turn you may live to regret it.”

Are you saying he thought he was OK? He thought he was in the clear? Because he got the job? And then she attacked him. Is he going to lose the job?

Yes? (Concerned)he is?(sighs heavily)he’s going to lose the position at__________ because of this?

Pause

Oh my god.

Um

Oh my god. I don’t want to hear this. I do not want to hear this. Oh my god.

(Getting upset)god. He’s gonna lose the position?

(Psychic Jakk had told me in the last few weeks that his old boss had called him to tell him that he was leaving his old restaurant , and that he should apply for the chef position; he was super excited about it, and to show that it was true, showed me an Instagram post with the place’s name on a piece of clothing of his. )

Oh my god!

Is he pressing charges against her?

Is she going into a hospital?

Oh my god: is there anyway that they will let him keep the position?

Oh my god. But this was EVERYTHING to him. He wanted this so badly.

No? He wanted it so badly. So that’s why she did this. To hurt him. To take it away.

Did she really do this?

Are you guys just playing with me?

WHY?

Look! Look! Did Blond attack him last night?

I can’t take this! You guys can’t do this to me.

I can’t take this anymore, you’ve got to stop.

“You or someone you know may be in serious emotional trouble.” Is it Jakk? “Brink of a breakdown.”

Does Jack know that he is communicating with me through the pendulum?

(Frustrated) Was Jack attacked by Blond last night?

Is he……what can I do? What can I do? You’ve gotta tell me what to do.

Ugh. I need Stella.

Stella, I need you. Stella. Stella. Stella, God, whomever! Someone needs to explain to me what to do.

(Voice cracking) someone’s gotta explain. (Cries)

They cant take this away from him. Stella.

Stella. Help; please help. Please help. Help me Jesus: I’m scared for him. And I’m not sure what im supposed to do.

And I want him to know that I’m supporting him.

Is he awake? Is he alone and Is he in the hospital?

He’s in the hospital. Is he alone. Can you get him for me?

….

(to psychic Jakk)

Hi babe. It’s me. I’m actually looking at a picture of you in a hospital bed. I hear you’re in a hospital bed. Is that true?

Rough night, huh? Can you hear me? Do you know how much I love you? You must be kind of groggy, I imagine.

I’m scared. Guess there’s a lot going on huh.

I just want this to be over. And it feels like it’s endless. And I feel like you’re about to crack. (His reaction is dramatic) yeah I know. I know! I know babe.

It’s showing up in the cards and… It’s too much. For anybody. We have to do some things to protect you, to protect your mind and your soul in your body right now. And I’m trying to figure that out. Because what you’ve been going through is insane. And I know that. And I wish there was something I could say. And I just don’t even have the words and I feel helpless.

I do, I wish I could protect you and I am… Angry that I can’t. I’m angry that this has gone on this long. And you have been made this raw because even though you’re a flawed being because we’re all flawed beings, you don’t deserve this any of this. And I’m worried about you, deeply. And I will do everything in my power to help you. But I have to talk to the spirits and I have to figure out what that takes, and we’re gonna have to work with some humans now, because you need some help.

You agree with me? I know that asking for help it’s not your forte. (Laughs for obvious reasons) but from what I’m getting from the cards….. you’re in serious emotional trouble and you can be on the brink of a breakdown and we need to protect you. That’s just one side of it on the other side, I just don’t even understand what happened you went home last night and she flipped out?

Did she attack you with a knife?

In the leg?

That’s what I keep getting. Did they have to do surgery? Have you talked to the police yet? Yes.

Have you pressed charges yet? Or you’ve made a report? A report.

And later on when you can you’ll have to go to the station I guess.

What made her do this? Was it because of the job? She didn’t….she just didn’t want you to have any success? You came home and you were happy. And she just lost it. Of course. Your first day. Did you say something because I was listening to the astrological report, and it said that saying the wrong thing could be a trigger. Did you say something that just made her go off?

What I’m getting is she said something about the baby and you said “you can throw the baby in my face as much as you want, I’m moving on with my life.”

Where is she right now? Is she at home? Look I don’t know exactly how you want to do this, but take a pen do you have a pen? Or your phone and take my therapists phone number and call her and get a referral for someone… Do you know? Because you’re gonna need some support. Ok? Cause I’m not even seeing her right now cause I don’t have any money but here’s her number:blah blah blah

She’s amazing and she’ll be able to send you the name of some good people. Someone who would probably be a good match for you.

And you’re just gonna need someone besides yourself, besides me, besides Stella, besides random, besides Lauren, to talk to. Really. And I I just can’t say it enough… If I could see her right now I would. Cause like you’ve been living with an abusive person for a long time, who’s been doing mind control on you.

And I’ll do what I can and I’ll ask the spirits to do what they can but you need to have other people involved. And if it’s too expensive, if she can’t find someone who takes your insurance or whatever, the other place you could call is callen lourde. Callen lourde‘s phone number is… Are you ready? They don’t have good counselors forget it. No just call my therapist and tell her that money is tight but she’ll help you figure it out. She’s amazing that way.

I guess it’s gonna be kind of hard for us to have sex when you’re in the hospital (laughs ) but It’s going to be OK. Blond’s out of her fucking mind, sorry.

The cards don’t look bad. You have a page of pentacles, that goals are being set and how they’ll be achieved. And that you don’t like to take a chance unless you’re pretty sure if it’s gonna work out.

I got a message earlier though, you need to stay away from alcohol and drugs to self medicate. Like you can’t go that route. Even though the shit with her is hard We’re gonna get through this babe.

But don’t go that route. You need to be healthy. You’re strong, your root is strong you’re one of a kind. That’s why you were nusch’s love. Remember who you are don’t let this fuck you up and you have a lot lot strong connection to the land. It’s gonna be OK.

And they’re going to heal you up quickly. And I’ll talk to the spirits and see if they can do anything about work. I know you’re worried about that.Try to think about it positively and maybe matt’ll step in..and be like “OK you guys jakk is amazing, Jakk can’t help that Blond went crazy”

Just try to think positively. This is an action that had to happen to get through this Blond stuff. And that you were taking one for the team laughing and roll your eyes at some of the dramatic things you had to deal with. Can you hear what I’m saying?

It’s so funny because I had a dream that you were texting me this morning, and saying you guys were moving away and never coming back… And we lived in Columbus Ohio, for some reason and I was trying to text you back and a chocolate bar so she wouldn’t notice that I was texting you? Like what do you mean you’re not coming back, you can’t leave, and I was really scared. I woke up and my stomach was in all this pain and I was like how can he leave me? He can’t leave me. And then the horse was like it’s Jack he’s been attacked and then my body got really sick and then I was like all right what happened is it for real this time? But it sounds like it was for real this time.

Is it for real this time? Well we’ll try to get them to work on healing that as quickly as they can. You’re so strong you got through it, were you scared? Yeah of course it would be scary.

Fuck man I’ve never had to have anyone face me with a knife. I’m sorry. You’re on the other side of it though. I look forward to hearing about it from your voice. I was just asking them if I would get to talk to you for real sometime soon.

I’m glad Stella was with you. You better take care of that head of yours OK? It’s gonna be all right, the worst is over. Do you believe that? You never have to go through that again. Check in with me whenever you want, you can just send a message..they’ll put a message in my stomach that will make it hurt… and I’ll know to check in with you. Or Stella‘s with me a lot. Or you can pick up the phone, you know if you feel like… You’re spinning kind of… What, what is that saying? Yes. Are you saying that about picking up the phone? Yeah I look forward to that, I look forward to hearing your voice. I miss talking to you. I do. I’ll talk to the spirits about the restaurant and see what I can do. Take breaths. I know that me and Stella and random and all of your spirit guides are here supporting you. Holding your hand. You’re not alone you have a huge family of us. Let her go.

The baby is with you right now. OK talk to you later. You are so brave.

OK. OK protective spirits first I’m gonna light some incense and then we need to have a powwow about what can be done. Stella, what I want you to do is I want you to gather all of the protective spirits. I want you to go get horse, archangel Michael, Jack’s mother, all of my relatives. I want you to act ask God to come, I want you to ask asa, I want you to ask the lion, random, anyone I’ve forgotten. And I’m gonna light up The incense.

(sounds of rustling around the house and preparing)

What do you think? (Lighting frankincense)

There we go. Do we like that spirits?

Word on the street… So jack is in the hospital?

(Sigh)

So the chariot reversed was about him having a nervous break down. Can I eat a little bit of breakfast?

(End tape)

Psychic Jakk encore 2/1/17

(Another sexual encounter, a little too detailed in its dialogue, that ends with a confirmation that he was at work in his office, which is where she would would claim to be most of the times we had psychic sex…though how he got back to work so fast after being stabbed in the leg is beyond me)

#watch the tapes

[twenytwenytwo]

Dec 15 2022 (5:35pm)

Had a good day despite the rough sleep. Feel like I’m getting back to being more normal again. The thoughts about being relaxed and how it makes more sense perhaps helped. I dunno.

I was thinking today how I miss having something that I’m responsible for. This is obvious, yeah. The band was something I was very responsible for. It became what it was largely because of my efforts, and with help from my friends. I felt like people around me had high hopes, ones I was excited to fulfill.

I feel somewhat aimless right now. I’m still struggling to fully integrate building a good career into my identity, and feel it energized with my inner power. I just want to play music.

Would I rather have a bunch of money, free time, certainty and comfort, and ultimately have the resources to do music forever, regardless of the result OR be scraping by, half depressed, kinda unable to really devote time and energy into music because I’m drained and basically broke? Hm….

There’s still this part of me that wants to throw myself into the raging sea that is being an artist. If it lets me live, I’ll have been given the divine seal. If not…

Yet, I also hold a general belief that the universe is random and unforgiving, and that you should do anything to improve your odds of success, whatever that may be to you. Get success over with, move on, it’s not that great.

How can I hold both of these feelings at the same time? I want to do something the hardest way possible for the possible sentiment that I proved myself, knowing full well that nobody will really care. I just like the story better… “struggling artist sticks to his guns and makes it big”. The contradiction is that, apparently, getting a good job makes me a quitter, but having a series of fine jobs doesn’t…? The degree to which I was uncomfortable while pursuing my artistic vision is the degree to which it is genuine? Why?

I guess “dedicated” is the word. Ruthlessly dedicated. Ride or die. That is the sentiment that I would be giving up… apparently.

What has my ride or die mentality given me? Has it made my art better? I think so. Or is it just a product of me?

I think perhaps it may have something to do with what I would need to do in order prove myself after having say gotten a good paying job sorted out. I would need to work to a far higher standard in order to re-enter the “ride or die” club. I would have to be not just great… but really great.

Right now, I have some vague respect for myself having gone so hard, been so ride or die, what do I have to show for it? Would I trade that idealistic ride or die certificate for being a real, productive artist who creates consistent and amazing art?

Being ride or die feels synonymous with having faith in myself, again something contradictory to the whole random, unforgiving universe ideology. Ride or die is an ideology born from a belief that there is some higher force, some predetermined destiny, some magic powers hidden in the universe. It’s a universe with purpose, and inherent meaning. Ride or die is of gods and such. Maybe I want those things to be true and real, perhaps I want to live in such a reality but refuse to because I’m paranoid about being stupid, or of mediocre intellect. I want to be a genius, a god in my own way, but also live in a world where there are true gods that exist, that I may please, and be gifted fortune. Those two stories cannot go together.

To live in a meaningless universe where I must create meaning, or in a meaningful universe where I must abide by the rules of meaning? I don’t know if that makes sense.

I want to feel this career facet of myself fully integrate. I want to feel motivated towards building a good life for myself, in all departments. I think letting go of my ride or die mentality toward being an artist is exactly what I need. I don’t actually lose anything except my sense of self righteousness, that I’m justified in my extreme path so far. I lose the pride of being a real adventurer, a real cowboy.

There must be something about being a real artist and the tangible demands that go with it that I unconsciously do not like. I know I don’t like it when other people have expectations of me because I’m afraid of letting them down and them subsequently thinking that I’m unreliable and useless.

Something that really pissed me off about Ethan is that I thought he was so unproductive and seemed like he purposely took forever to make decisions so he wouldn’t have to live up to them. He kept himself in a state of pure potential so that he couldn’t possibly fail. He was so uncooperative and petty about shit. He’d convolute and fixate on trivial matters. He just seemed timid and somewhat pathetic. I saw something so much more in him. A great artist and general bad ass who could just kill it.

These things are likely a reflection of my shadow. I’m pretty unproductive a lot of the time because I’m fucking around with endless intellectual explorations, and they’re satisfying. I’m always too busy figuring it out to actually begin working. Thinking rather than doing.

———— I’m going to interrupt myself and say that Ethan and I entered into Zilch with the most inflated sense of certainty and importance. We walked into that room with inflatable Kiss boots on, and marked our height on the door frame with a pencil. 10ft tall; badass; amazing; certain; smart. We created this environment where it consequentially was not okay to be not certain, not smart, not amazing, not badass, not super productive, etc. As time went on and we learn about our true abilities, what reality we were really inside, this slowly let the air out our inflated Kiss boots. BUT we already marked our standard of operation so high up. As we became more aware of ourselves by actually improving, and became more aware of reality, we slowly but surely began falling short of the predetermined expectations for the band. This raised the temperature massively, and ended up in a very unpleasant band environment.

The new ideal band environment would be established under a understanding about how stupid we are, and how inexperienced we are, and how despite that, we can work together and achieve something good, and have fun doing it. In the new band, we wouldn’t be these geniuses, we’d be flawed and often mistaken. We’d trust the other person… etc. There’d be room to just be fucking wrong sometimes. It’d be okay to not be sure.

Our standards of productivity would be based on what we are factually sure we can pull off. Other things too. What do we know for sure, no speculation allowed.

Our standards were so high that the margin for error was so incredibly high, and when we erred, we looked at the other like “wtf?”, and the connection between us broke down as a consequence of us being so bonded through arrogance.

——————

I need to stop feeling like my ideas are more valuable than other peoples’; that somehow my ideas are actually better automatically. They’re not. That’s not to say they’re bad, there’s just no ranking system that can be used for all music, obviously. Any idea that I come up with that is boring or lifeless could be made into a great song by someone else. My abilities, my personal brand of greatness lies in taking something simple and growing it into something more, combining things, colouring them. My own personal greatness lies in me bringing forth my potential, that lick’s potential, not in that my licks are just better right outta the gate. I’m going to like some things more than others, and that’s what is going to inspire me forward.

My own personal greatness lies in manifesting potential, growing something into something more, developing something into something more interesting, not finding licks that are inherently better, or inherently more interesting. Those things are subjective, despite me feeling very strongly that certain characteristics are plainly better.

[secretlywritingstories]

As I’m writing this post, I’ve got only a couple of hours until I’m turning 28. By the time I post it, it will be the day of my birthday and roughly the time I was born too.

What a curious age. I suppose I have to embrace that I am a “proper” adult now. Whatever that means. I think getting to this age, actually means that I can define exactly what being an adult means to me. I’m trying to carve that out right now, and figure out my path.

A lot of things are the same as last year. I’ve got the same family, the same pets, the same friends and the same homes. I still write a lot. I still enjoy a lot of the same media. But a year is a long time, it’s a whole other year of experiences with the ones I care about, and spending time with stuff I enjoy and I find that quite wonderful.

One big thing did change. I applied to and got hired in a different department at work. I went full-time and got a new boss and a whole new set of colleagues. I’m doing very different work from what I was doing before, but it’s better. More interesting work and more flexible hours. Bonding with more people and finding my space there. As an organisation, we do important work. It’s quite neat.

I like it, but I wonder if there will always be a part of me that feels like I’m just doing... something. I’ve never been one to have a dream job. When asked what I wanted to be, I just said I would probably work in an office? I do that now. And the perks are good and the work nice, so I don’t mind at all. But full on passion? I’m not sure. I’m meticulous and careful with anything I do and I want to do it well, but “building” a career?

That’s not what I want to focus on. Not building a career, not seeking out a relationship just for the sake of it, not working towards some other societal goals. I’ve got no goals to reach.

I just want to be comfortable enough to hang out with family and friends, to spend time with my dogs and horse and to continue writing my fictional stories. I want to have the energy to take walks and learn languages and explore and have fun. I want to feel comfortable in my skin and keep up with media I enjoy.

For a long time, I feel like I’ve just moved along, getting a little too lost in the grind of life, and I am trying to be better to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. I should appreciate that I am in an extremely fortunate position right now where I’m seemingly not lacking anything.

Still, I should not get stuck. Trying new things - something that’s always scared me - is important. A couple of weeks ago, I cut my hair real short for the first time in my adult life. It’s shaved at my nape, over my ears and fluffy on top. I’ve got a fringe to hide behind or sweep elegantly out of the way. It’s dope and I cannot believe it took me so long to decide to cut it.

Perhaps for 28, I’m going to try to be a little more brave and a little more intentional. Not as much drifting along and trying to be mindful about having an every day that’s fulfilling and nice to exist within. My mental health is still prone to fragility, but just structure isn’t the way. Habits with a sprinkle of new. Let’s try that.

#spilled thoughts #my tumblr dabbles #birthday

[villamiral]

Peruvian connection

#PERUVIAN CONNECTION HOW TO#

We have relationships with our supplier base that go back 25 years, and we buy season after season from them. "Many of those have invested in their businesses a lot are women-owned. "We continue to work with the same cottage industries," Hurlbut said. Most items are original designs produced by Peruvian Connection staff designers and handcrafted by artisans in Peru. Peruvian Connection focuses on women’s apparel made from the luxury fibers of alpaca and pima cotton. Peruvian Connection is among Working Woman magazine's Working Women 500, a list of the largest women-run businesses, and is ranked among Internet Retailer’s Top 500 online retailers. European orders are fulfilled through the United Kingdom branch, with call center operators speaking English or German. Peruvian Connection catalogs are printed in English with prices in dollars or pounds sterling, and in German with pricing in Euros. Today, the company has about 200 employees in the United States, South America and the U.K. A United Kingdom fulfillment center was opened in 1996 to serve customers in the United Kingdom and Europe. Santa Fe, New Mexico Aspen, Colorado Kansas City, Missouri Boston, Massachusetts Chicago, Illinois and London, England. Peruvian Connection now has retail stores in New York, New York With continued growth in the late 1980s, Hurlbut and her mother opened outlet stores to sell excess inventory. Within three months, Peruvian Connection had 5,000 requests for catalogs. The business grew slowly but steadily until a style writer from The New York Times did an interview with Annie for what would turn out to be a quarter-page article in the paper's Style section. Biddy later showed the sweater to a local buyer, who wanted 45 more. It was there that she bought a fitted sweater with an alpaca fur-lined collar for her mother’s 50th birthday. The impetus for the company grew out of trips Annie Hurlbut took to Peru. As well as a lot of guests from all over Columbia coming in and checking us out (even if it is a bit of a drive), we are always trying our very best to push the boundaries and improve as we continue to serve our city.Peruvian Connection was founded in Kansas in 1976 by the mother and daughter team, Biddy and Annie Hurlbut. Purist founder Cristina Cuomo chats with Peruvian Connections Annie Hurlbut about Perus rich cultural history, sustainability and the brands cozy new bedding collection. Fortunately, everyone around us in the Northeast has been good at supporting us. Inspiration From The Andes: Peruvian Connection. I’m not sure how our dishes here at Ratio have influenced the Cola food scene, but I hope that Ratio is a place that is recognized for pushing new ideas and new diversity to the city for other cultures’ cuisine to come forward and do a nice sit-down restaurant.Īs far as Columbia enjoying our Peruvian-inspired dishes, they have been received very well! I can honestly say that has surprised me because of the time we opened to the location. How has the reception been since opening Ratio and introducing more Peruvian-inspired dishes to the Cola food scene? Plus, chef Nivit does an outstanding job at every dish, so it makes it difficult to pick one. I know Bodhi Thai isn’t in Columbia, but that is gotta be my favorite restaurant overall! This company has very high expectations of their employees, and although I enjoyed it, I never felt fairly compensated. The biggest disadvantage is that the hours are slim, and they wont pay anything over minimum wage unless youre full-time. The coworkers are truly what make it worthwhile. Chef Mike and the team are talented and can always count on a solid meal. Peruvian Connection is a nice place to work. I recommend checking whatever fish dish they have available that night to friends and family. Every time I go, it’s usually different, coming from Peru, I always enjoy a good piece of fish and or seafood. At Terra, I’m always looking for their fish dish. Artisan-crafted, globally-inspired designs in natural fibres, soft alpaca & Peruvian pima cotton. I don’t go out often, but I do frequent Terra and Bodhi Thai in Lexington. Luxury womens clothing & accessories for the modern nomad. What’s one other dish from a Columbia area restaurant and chef that you’d tell your friends to try?

#PERUVIAN CONNECTION HOW TO#

My mother showed me how to make them, so I feel honored to have a dish that represents her in a way. Second, I also always tell them to try the Empanadas! They vary on what it is inside, so there are options for everyone throughout the year. It’s a Peruvian staple! I am very proud of the way we have simplified but not cut any flavors from something you can find in Peru. If they like fish, definitely try our ceviche. | Photo by someone is visiting Ratio for the first time, what’s something on the menu they must try? The tomato pie empanadas highlight Peruvian-southern cuisine in one small dish.

#Peruvian connection