#it was like all of the worst secondhand embarrassment stuff that could possibly happen in a love triangle

[rynliadon]

ok SO I finally got to the point in my kotlc reread where I've read the books I've never read before (flashback and legacy) and honestly, as someone who was a ritz cracker enthusiast, how did we get here. what happened. legacy was so genuinely frustrating a lot of the time; I started reading it at 2am because I was DESPERATE for there to be actual sophitz stuff before it all fell apart, but it was just red flag after red flag. not to MENTION they hardly spend any time together at all?? once the plot picked up though I couldn't put it down, which is the problem with these books. I literally cannot put them down. ever. anyway so apparently 13 year old me was right to root for keefe in middle school since it's obvious that's where it's headed. and I'm GLAD that's where it's headed because I like keefe. but I wish that fitz's entire character didn't feel so... weird now. bestie what happened to you. you were the chosen one. it was said you would destroy the sith, not join them

#kotlc #legacy spoilers #kotlc spoilers #I was so excited for the sophitz stuff just because I love when a relationship that's been danced around finally INTERACTS #and then there was nothing. what the fuck. #it was like all of the worst secondhand embarrassment stuff that could possibly happen in a love triangle #kudos to keefe for committing SO hard to being a good friend to sophitz. #kudos to sophie for being absolutely fucking determined to be oblivious to every time keefe had a romantic emotion #kudos to fitz for going absolutely bonkers. off the wall crazy. shitty boyfriend speedrun. is something else going on with you man #(obviously it's alvar. the alvar stuff was happening. but with the sophie pov it's really hard to empathize with him) #(I'm trying though. I won't give up on you ritz cracker. there's a good character in there somewhere. salvageable blorbo.) #(ok ok I'm done rambling I swear) #liveblog

[themadauthorshatter]

I haven't really done one of these in a while

If Cal and Iris married AU/UA Part 3.5(to build up their relationship):

We're backtracking to Cal and Iris's blooming friendship, before the ball where Cal saved Orrec.

After training, Cal does some lessons and goes to the garage.

And gets a surprise visit from Iris herself; when he asks, she admits she's been "waiting in this oil reeking hole for thiry minutes."

"You didn't have to. I was going to come to dinner."

"I needed to see you. Alone, I mean."

"Any reason why?"

Iris shrugs, after a very awkward moment of silence. "I was just wonder when we would have that rematch, seeing as how you can't see how I won."

Cal chuckles and folds his arms. "I won that fight," he says with a slight tip forward.

"We shall have the rematch decide."

Cal gives a crooked smile and a nod. "Fine. Just don't cry when I win."

Iris chuckles at that and agrees.

She wishes him luck and leaves him to his machines, also telling him not to die underneath one of them; ending his life and happiness is her job, damn it.

It's another joke, which Cal contiunes by saying he'll just break his fingers for her.

Iris leaves and Cal gets to putting the finishing touches on the engine, looking back at where Iris left and smiling at how they didn't argue and didn't rub each other the wrong way.

Dinner is just as pleasant, though there is a very minor hiccup when Iris almost calls the servant Red rather than her name. It's minor and she catches it.

Cal notices both the slip up and the catch, but doesn't speak on it, not wanting to start a fight.

After dinner, Tibe and Orrec meet up and talk, both having noticed that Cal and Iris aren't as eager to kill each other. It's a step forward, to say the least, but it could just be an act for the adults, so they're placated.

Tibe shakes his head at the idea, explaining that Cal wouldn't do something like that; he's not a very good liar, if he even lies at all.

Orrec only hums at this, wishing Iris was the same, easy to read and too honest for her own good, though he does admit that Cal should maybe practice his lying, as being too easy to read will be his detriment as King.

Tibe simply mutters that it will be the least of his concerns, considering the new alliance and a new growing tension between the Nortan-Lakelander alliance and Piedmont, who was against it like absolutely no one's business.

Orrec has nothing to say to that because he knows very little about Piedmont, seeing as how that nation was loyal to Norta, and they possibly made a new enemy.

Neither elaborate on that, instead raising a glass and hoping for a slightly shorter war with Piedmont.

Back with the young and happy betrothed couple, Iris is in training as she stretches, noticing Cal discussing something with a general, and Evangeline approaches, asking if she's enjoying her stay in Norta.

Iris admits it's not home, but she's still having a fairly decent time, thanks to a certain prince who was surprising nicer than she had previously thought.

Evangeline agrees Cal is quite kimd, too much so in her opinion, but he's not an idiot. He'll find out that Iris is nothing but a liar and a manipulative bitch, being a Lakelander and all that. Iris only blinks at her and continues stretching, chiding her that unless she has something to say that's worth Iris's time, she can just go and bother her own betrothed.

Evangeline only stays where she is and scowls, sneering that Iris should know better than to be so daring when she's out of her territory, where her armies can't protect her.

Iris only ignores her and resumes stretching.

In one more effort to get some kind of reaction out of her, Evangeline reminds Iris that Cal isn't always going to to be around to protect her, and it's times like that where she should watch her back.

Iris raises an eyebrow at her, eyes darting slightly to over Evangeline's shoulder.

"What's going on over here?"

Evangeline turns and Iris stands, greeting Cal very warmly, though he, surprisingly, glares at Evangeline as he gently pulls Iris to his side and then pushes her behind him.

It's an action that DEEPLY wounds Evangeline, because he was supposed to be her betrothed, not Iris's.

"What?" She asks. "Are you her shield now? Last time I checked, she was our enemy."

"Not anymore," Cal growls. "And unless you want to start the war all over again, and be the one responsible for doing so, knock it off, Evangeline."

Evangeline scowls, a little broken hearted and angry, but Cal continues glaring, only stopping when he walks away with Iris, careful because she's looking between him and Evangeline.

Cal asks if she's okay, and if Evangeline did or said anything. Iris brushes it off, saying that, as she has proven to him in particular, she is fully capable of taking care of herself.

He knows she can, but he's her betrothed. He'll worry about her regardless.

Iris warns him to be careful, because he's getting his heart and his mind mixed up and that can get him killed, if he's not careful.

Cal gives her a simple, "Fine," and they go about training.

More awkward hijinks ensue, like the two helping each other stretch and Cal accidentally falls down, pulling Iris with him. He lands on his back and she lands on top of him. It catches everyone's eye and Maven can't help but cringe at it.

It gets worse when she stands, but her hair's tangled in the flame maker bracelet on Cal's wrist, so she's practically stuck on him and kind of kneeing and hurting him in an attempt to quickly get free.

People don't know what to do, so they all try not to laugh, completely out of nervousness because both Cal and Iris are beasts, Maven only groans into his hands from secondhand embarrassment, and Evangeline smirks at the display.

It's essentially a very loud, very jerky, VERY awkward tsngo between a couple about to marry that are night and day.

Worst part?

Tibe, Orrec, and Julian are watching, wanting to be witnesses, should Iris decide to try drowning Cal or Cal try to cook Iris alive. For Julian, the pain from watching the two of them is so immense that he can feel it on his skin. Tibe pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head and Orrec simply stands resolutely, because there's too much stuff he's feeling to properly express it.

It ends when the two calm down and Cal untangles her hair from his bracelet and says a pun to ease the tension.

It just makes Iris figure out a reason why Evangeline wouldn't want to marry him as she walks to a peice of training equipment, though Cal trails behind her because the comment was too below the belt for him.

The next day, Cal sees the Lakelander King himself, upon his request, of course.

"Hello, Tiberias."

"King Orrec," Cal says with a bow of his head.

Orrec shakes his head. "Please, leave niceties for an audience. It's just us here."

Cal nods and replies, "Alright."

"Tell me," he sort of asks-sort of lightly commands, "how are you and my daughter getting along?"

Thank goodness Cal is a soldier because, with the 'answer carefully or I'm going to tie your ankles to a cement block, empty a part of the ocean, as deep as possible, throw you in, and bring the tide as slowly as I can so you can think about raising a hand against my child as you drown(and the rope would sort of tether, so every time he's about to drown, the rope gives and he's above the water breathing as the water continues to rise, so he'll get tortured by the repeated drowning and the pressure from the depths of the sea)' eyes Orrec is giving him, he would TOTALLY run for his life.

Cal only gives a sigh. "We... weren't exactly friends, at first. I mean, we used to be a war for over a century, so of course we would be at odds."

Orrec nods. "True. Now may I what you meant by, 'at first?'"

Thinking back on their first normal conversation, and the efforts they're both making to not kill each other, Cal allows a small smile to grow on his face.

"We've been... getting along better."

"How so, exactly?"

Cal shrugs. "I mean, we're not fighting like we used to. And we're just getting along better now. I don't know," he admits with a head shake. "We're not... We don't hate each other, but we aren't fully comfortable with each other. Not yet, at least. Hopefully."

Orrec smirks at that, and gestures for Cal to come closer, more specifically for his hands, which Cal does.

After a second, Orrec speaks.

"I knew you were different from your father. You have oil in your nails."

Cal takes his hands back to check, and, yes, there is oil around his fingernails, which is just embarrassing.

"It may be foolish thinking, but, I'll admit, it's admirable. Hopefully Norta has a King that will try creating rather than destroying."

You'd better believe that Cal's thrown off by these words, even when Orrec thanks him for being the ine to marry Iris, not Maven, because his mother is Elara.

Orrec then makes Cal promise he will protect Iris, at the very least, should something happen like an attack.

He promises.

Later that week, Iris finds Calnin the garage again, but he's about to ride away on his cycle.

She asks where he's going and Cal, passes her his helmet, saying it's best he show her(she's already in casual looking clothes).

He takes her to a slightly higher end tavern in a Red village, and they simply enjoy some water and watch the hustle and bustle.

Yeah. Cal's still doing his "leaening about my people" thing, even though he's going to marry Iris, a Lakelander who probably has polar opposite thinking to him.

Like this, he can see that Reds aren't that different from Silvers. The only difference is power, which helps the Silvers lord over their inferiors.

It opens up her eyes very much so to who she's marrying.

We get more hijinks with them joking at their table, dancing, because it's fun and Iris isn't the best dancer, and even avoiding a bar fight because teo Reds ran into each other.

They leave before they're spotted.

When they arrive back, Cal escorts Iris to her room and admits that this trip wasn't his best and he'll make it up to her. Iris, though flattered, tells him to work on his puns because they need some tinkering.

More below the belt Cal's a little offended by, but he instead snickers that he's wearing off on her.

They share a laugh and Iris thanks Cal for being him, because, in all honesty, he's starting to make this whole thing easier.

Cal thanks her back and even kisses her hand, saying he looks forward to their marriage.

They stare at each other for a second, lost in each other's eyes, and share a kiss(Sorry Marecal shippers!!!).

They bid each other good night and go to bed.

It's all good and happy, but it's a shame that a couple weeks later, at the ball in Part 4, a spy tries a poison wine attack to end the alliance of Norta and the Lakelands.

Cal, keeping good on his promise, takes Orrec's glass, which is poisoned, and drinks from it, as to not set off a possible fire fight, one with guns, not real flames

#red queen #cal calore #tiberias calore vii #tiberias calore vi #maven calore #iris cygnet #orrec cygnet #poison tw #forbidden ship #ua #au

[sparrowwritings]

Final Fantasy Writing Challenge Day Twenty-Four: Clocks

Day Twenty-Three -- Masterpost -- Day Twenty-Five

Two members of the Convocation of Fourteen sat at the same bench located outside of the governing hall. Each had similar strained expressions as they looked over the identical gaudy invitations in their hands. They also both had the fronts of their robes, their gloves, and their red masks caked in a tiny, shimmering substance.

"How much effort do you think Hythlodaeus put into making these?" Artemis-as-Azem asked. Since the other members of the Convocation had taken their leave, her act of pretending to be her twin had been relaxed for the moment. Insofar as looking actively annoyed was her way of doing so.

"Knowing him, the maximum amount to make this awful thing look the worst. If only to further embarrass us when we received it." Emet-Selch drawled. He shook the card and more shining fragments of that substance Hythlodaeus had created fell to the ground. He had been “inspired” by the incident that destroyed the Hall of Glass. Not too long later a concept known as "glitter" had been created. And used for occasional pranks by the Chief of the Bureau of the Architect against his friends. Much to their dismay, he had released the concept to the public, and so everyone in the Convocation already knew what glitter was when Azem and Emet-Selch had opened their cards and the substance had exploded all over them.

"Remind me again why we should bother replying?" She asked while looking over the deliberately juvenile handwriting. It was an invitation to join Hythlodaeus in attending a lecture headed by the leading expert in Time manipulation. That he had sent in lieu of asking in person because the answer would have been a firm no from both Artemis and Hades. 

One would think that a glitter-bomb laden card would have confirmed the disinterest of both parties. That person would also assume that Azem and Emet-Selch were reasonable people with even more reasonable friends. They would be wrong.

"That he put so much effort into this means he's required to attend and desperate enough for company that he ensured we would at least address the card." Hades sighed and ran a hand down his mask. Some of the glitter dislodged itself and fluttered in the air around him. "At the very least we need to see him in person for the technique to get rid of this damnable stuff."

"And give him time to beg us to go." Artemis dusted at a sleeve in a vain attempt to dislodge more sparkles. "I never attended any classes involving time. Is Kronos really that dreadful?"

"From what I've heard, he's an unpleasant individual and delights in his unpleasantness."

"So there are two of you in the city."

Hades sniffed. "My unpleasantness is limited to the few people I bother to be around. His is a public spectacle."

She put a hand to her chest dramatically. "I'm touched you would grace us with the true extent of your personality."

"Your sarcasm is much appreciated." A quiet silence fell over the two of them. Eventually, he was the one that spoke again. "So you're going?"

"Ugh," Artemis slouched in her seat. "I'm going to have to. With Hythlodaeus miserable and Apollo trying to keep up his spirits, someone else has to be there to make sure he doesn’t take negative criticism so personally. I’ve heard that Kronos lectures are entertaining, at least.”

"You're attending the Time manipulation lecture?"

Both of the seated folk froze, only relaxing when they realized who the speaker was. Elidibus gave a kind smile, as if the two were speaking of normal things and hadn't accidentally revealed the secret of Azem. Besides, he already knew it. 

Artemis recovered quickly enough to answer first. "Yes, actually."

"I suppose I might pop in…" Emet-Selch said lightly. "I've yet to see the latest developments in that field."

"May I join you and your friends, then?" Elidibus had his hands behind him, looking all the more like his actual age. "I've been curious about Kronos' lectures but I haven't had the opportunity to attend yet."

The two older Convocation members (well, one and one imposter member) gave each other a look. As one they shrugged. "Why not?" They answered simultaneously.

------

"So now that I've had to waste half my lecture on going over the basics, shall we proceed to the heart of why I'm standing here?" The body language and voice of Kronos didn't even try to disguise how utterly displeased he was with how things were proceeding. From the way that Hythlodaeus was sunk into his chair and covering his mask with his hands this was an expected, if undesired, result. Artemis could see why he needed the company. Being alone and dying of secondhand embarrassment in front of a hall full of promising students was far lessened when there were more people he knew that could share in it. 

At least Elidibus still seemed interested in the topic, seated as he was to her right. Hythlodaeus was in the seat to her left, a veritable puddle of forlorn mumbling. Apollo patted their friend on the head from his spot on the Chief's other side. Emet-Selch had taken the seat to the Emissary's right, more than glad to not need to directly hear the quiet pleading for the torture to end. That was his excuse, anyway. Artemis suspected that he wanted to be certain that the young man wouldn't be bothered by any other attendee during the lecture.

Hades could be soft hearted like that, when he thought no one was paying attention. 

Back onstage, Kronos received the answers (or lack thereof) that he must have been searching for, because he quickly snapped his fingers. A display consisting of a large line, followed by several generic people shapes and a timepiece appeared above him. He didn't bother looking before he spoke. “Now, seeing as most beings experience time in a linear fashion, and we’re now all aware of how it moves forward and splits,” A wave of his hand took the singular line and split one end into multiple ones. The people shapes floated until one sat at the end of each line and changed color according to which line they went to. One shape, white in color, stayed on the still-connected part of the line. “The obvious next question becomes: Is it possible to move backwards through time to change an outcome? I say yes.” 

Artemis blinked, then leaned forward to see how he came to this conclusion. From the corner of her eye, she could see Apollo stopping his comforting gestures to curiously look towards the stage. Hythlodaeus had even perked up enough to be sitting properly in his chair. 

“After all, time is a progression. One step begets another begets another. What many forget is that negative progression can also occur.” Kronos gestured to the audience. “Have any of you had to be diverted from the path you were taking because of construction? Don’t bother answering, of course you have. What happens when you must trace back your steps is negative progression. Your goal is just as far as it was when you had gotten started. The energy you had saved up to go forward is spent doubling back.” He gestured at the diagram. “Similarly, if you can figure out the energy it costs to move forward in time, all one needs is double that to go backwards. Multiply exponentially by the amount of time you need to travel and you will find yourself when you need to be.” Their seats were close enough that Artemis could see the proud smirk on his face. “Simple, really.”

“But can you actually change anything?” A voice called out from the audience. “All you’re proposing is the means to move backwards! Wouldn’t the changes you make affect your reasoning for going into the past in the first place?” Kronos glared in the direction it came from. 

“I’m getting to that.” He snapped. Quite literally, as he snapped his fingers and the figures moved around again. The red colored one moved slowly from its split in the timeline back to where the white colored one was stationed. The timepiece turned backwards to reflect this. “Now as the fool suggested there lies the possibility that, should you obtain enough energy to move backwards in time, you can cause the future you were trying to prevent in the first place. Thus, your self in this future must needs travel to when you arrived and cause the events that lead to you traveling, ad infinitum. This is what’s known as a Closed Time Loop, and many have theorized that it is the only possible outcome for attempting to change the past.” The red figure, having made its way to the combined timeline, moved in the direction of its split, only to move backwards again. Again, the timepiece moved backwards or forwards depending on how the red figure was moving.

“There is some…” Kronos paused, then said the word as if it were a curse. “Merit...to that theory. There are certain events that one cannot rightly prevent on one’s own. The rise of a virulent disease, for example, could be warned about. However, the disease could still spread before any preventative measures can be taken and cause the damage you had gone to the past to prevent. Similarly, natural disasters are just as difficult to prevent from actually happening. How then, can one effectively change the future?” 

Artemis looked to her right in time to see Elidibus on the edge of his seat. Even Emet-Selch seemed like he was actually paying attention and not just half sleeping through the lecture.

“Again, the solution is simple.” Kronos picked up the white figure from the timeline. “You must remove the person who will cause the most damage to the future you are trying to prevent.” A loud murmur went out through the hall that he ignored. “With that person away, the progression of events must change the outcome of the future. Thus your mission will be complete.”

“What do you mean by remove?” A student from two rows up called out. 

The man rolled his head (and presumably his eyes) hard enough that Artemis was sure his mask was going to dislodge itself from his face. Not that it would have taken much, considering how it was perched on his large, sharp nose. “Not anything as base as killing the person. I mean actually remove the person from the situation entirely. Isolate them in a place where the event won’t be able to touch them while everyone more competent takes care of prevention and recovery.” 

“But how--” 

The timepiece onstage made a blaring sound, shutting up the student. Kronos looked pleased. “That’s all the time I have to explain these very simple concepts to all of you. I’m obliged to tell you that if you wish to learn more, my papers on the equations behind moving backwards in time and how one would be able to isolate the person who would cause the most damage in the future one is trying to prevent are readily available. I won’t be taking any questions.” With that, he quickly made his exit.

Artemis didn’t look at Hythlodaeus, instead turning her focus onto Elidibus. “So...what did you think?”

The young man was practically buzzing with energy. “His grasp of Time and the mechanics of how it works are astounding. I would like to attend more of Kronos’ lectures.” 

She looked past him towards Emet-Selch. He looked like he just ate something sour. “So you didn’t think he was...rough?”

Elidibus nodded. “Oh he was certainly terse. An uncommon trait, of course, but refreshing to see one teach with such a method.” He looked up with an easy smile. “Although I will say I’m far more pleased to have been invited to see Kronos with two of my brothers than I am in seeing the man himself. Thank you for allowing me to join you both.”

The impact her heart made inside her chest was utterly unnecessary. Even if she’d wanted to, Artemis couldn’t have stopped the warm and gooey smile from spreading on her face. “Thank you for joining us.” 

A throat clearing noise drew her attention back to Emet-Selch. The red of his mask made it harder to tell, but he definitely had the remains of a flush on his cheeks. She was going to tease him about it later. “I second the thanks. If you wish to try out other lectures, be sure to talk to us.”

The emissary nodded fast enough that his hood threatened to fall off. “For certain.” He then peaked around Artemis towards Hythlodaeus and Apollo. “I would also like you both to join us the next time, if neither of you mind. Perhaps the next lecture won’t be quite so humiliating for the Chief of the Bureau of the Architect.” 

She turned her head in time to see Hythlodaeus, having gotten his second wind from Kronos finishing his lecture, melt back into his seat with a prolonged groan. “If I’m still in one piece after all of the complaints I’ll have to field, just say the word and I’ll be there.” His words were muffled between his hands, but they were clear enough to hear even among the exiting crowd.

“And I’m always fine with going where Azem goes.” Apollo smiled back at Elidibus with a slight flick of his hair extensions to remind those in the know that he was pretending to be Artemis.

“Then it’s settled.” The young man stood up with a slight bounce. “At a future date, the five of us shall see another lecture.”

“Perhaps we could attend something by Astraeaus?” Emet-Selch suggested. “Gossip says that some of his work had gotten stolen, and I’m keen to see if there’s any truth to it.”

“What does he create?” 

That started a discussion that lasted until the group had left the Akademia grounds altogether.

#final fantasy xiv #Final Fantasy 14 #ff14 #fanfiction #writing challenge #clocks #twin azem AU #azem #emet-selch #hythlodaeus #apollo and artemis #hades #elidibus #more like minibus #kronos #astraeaus #both of them are amaurotine OCs of dovahcat's #half added to expand more headcanons #the other half to write bitchy kronos parts #because he is a bitch of the highest caliber #this is the second of a 1-2-3 punch of stories #thanks to me really getting hit by the CHALLENGE part of the writing challenge #twenty four down seven to go

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #238

“crimson calligraphy written on the trees, creature from the grave, headless and hellbent for me.”

Have you ever played golf? Like, mini-golf. Is there a lake near your house? No, but there's two small ponds down the road. Have you ever made your own pizza or pasta dough? No. Have you ever watched an entire season of a tv show in one day? Uhhhhh how long are the first few seasons of Supernatural? Because Jason and I fucking binged it, and I honestly think that's partially the reason I don't even enjoy TV anymore. Like I liked the show, but jfc it became torture at some point. Not his fault at all, I just never pointed it out. BUT ANYWAY, it's definitely possible we did. What did you have for dinner tonight (or last night)? A ham and cheese hot pocket. Do your parents do things that ‘embarrass’ you? This is so mean, but my mom makes the cringiest jokes and such imo that gives me mad secondhand embarrassment. Do you like any Bon Jovi songs? Yeah, a decent handful. Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. Do you give people second chances? Ha, more than "second." How’re things between you and your most recent ex? We're totally great. Really as if we didn't even break up, considering I mean... nothing emotionally has changed. We just know that being together right now isn't the wise decision. It's frustrating as hell, though. We've already established we're not going to "wait" for each other, but neither of us are actively looking for a new partner, either. I want her, and from what I can tell, she wants me, too. We kinda just... don't talk about how unfair it all is anymore because we both get too upset. I was even supposed to go up there with her and her fam for her birthday and Christmas, but that's changed because she and I agree it's too soon after splitting, making it only more difficult to be around each other. We'd want to cuddle and kiss and such by instinct, so we're trying to wait until the wound isn't as fresh. Though honestly, I don't know how visiting period would go consider as said, there has been zero change in romantic attraction. Ugh yeah I just hope she figures out what she wants and all and we can get back together. Have you been to a wedding this year? No. I'm going to my half-sister's next year, though. Are you an aunt or uncle? Yes, and another niece is on her way. :') Do you expect to be married in the next two years? Probably not. What season is your birthday in? Winter. Have you ever been hunting? Fuck that shit. How often do you walk around barefoot? Always in my own house + in other houses if I'm allowed to take my shoes off. When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? Usually, but it does depend on what food it is. Ex., those little boxes that have rice in them from Chinese places? I'm using a bowl. From the container is just messy. Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Nah. Do you carry condoms? No. Would you date someone who has a hearing aid? ... Yes...? "No" is just... so rude?? Like that is something the person absolutely cannot help, nor is it a HUGE thing. It's just a hearing aid, dude. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty decent. Folders and such. Could be better still, probably. Have you ever been to a strip club? Nah, not my scene. Have you ever brought home a stray animal? Pleeeeenty of cats. Are you physically strong? No, especially not my legs. I've got a newborn fawn's legs, jc. Still working on building the muscle back up. Would you date someone with braces? Oh my god, fuck off. Yes I would. I was the person with braces dating someone without them, so 1.) I obviously can't say shit, 2.) they're taking care of their goddamn teeth, and 3.) I dunno, wearing braces has no goddamn impact on personality???????????? Does scuba diving interest you? Not to an incredible degree, but it'd be cool. Would you ever ask your parents for relationship advice? Maybe for certain topics. Do you think people look up to you? Y'know that "oh no hunty WHAT is u doin" meme??? That's me if someone does. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? *blinking* There are people who don't??????? Do you blush easily? Ohhhhhh yes. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Hm. Not sure. Can you name five current world leaders? AHAHA nope. How many times have you had the flu? Zero. Do you think imagination is valuable? Oh hell yes. We would be NOWHERE CLOSE to where we are as animals without it. Who or what are you most impatient with? I don't know. When was the last time you mowed a lawn? Never. Have you seen all of the Star Wars films? No; seen only the first three with a friend and saw zero appeal. He didn't either. How about all of the Harry Potter ones, so far? I haven't even seen one. Jason and I started the first one together but. Paid way more attention to each other than the movie lmfao. What part of the newspaper do you typically enjoy reading? None. I collect my school's papers now though 'cuz I'm the photographer for it. :') Have you ever made a website, even a simple one? Four that I remember. The ancient and now-defunct ones were back when I think this site called Wetpaint was a host for simple sites, and a lot of us RPers posted our mob info and stuff there. I had one for Talons, one for Connrads. Ha, out of curiosity, I think I looked for them not all too long ago since I never actually deleted them, but I think the site itself was re-purposed. NOW, I have a Wix site for my photography, and then Kalahari Manor is a ProBoards-hosted site. Which was better: your childhood or your teen years? Jfc, childhood. Teen years were a chaotic and rancid cesspit in terms of mental health. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? I truly imagine that realizing I was *in love* with Jason surpassed what a high probably feels like lmao. What does it take for someone to win your heart? I'm actually putting thought into this one and I think what appeals to me in a person most is just being friendly with a good sense of humor and obvious, shameless concern for others. AND JFC, HAVE EMOTION. Don't be a brick wall with me. Lacking an emotional side, positive or negative, is such a turn-off to me. I'm not attracted to robots. Being a gentle person is important, and for me personally, you need to actually act like you're into me. Not just between us. Do not make me a secret. AND BE CREATIVE AND WEIRD AND FRESH!!!!!!!!!!! There's nothing wrong with more "vanilla" people, but just for me myself, I need someone who stands out for some good reason. lol okay this answer's actually getting kinda long, I'll stop. There's a number of ways. What is one thing you would rather be doing? Ha ha yo real talk, Sara and I are getting all emotional and deep into our relationship, platonic or romantic, and I want me and her in her bed right now tearing each other up alsdkjfla;kwejre I love her a lot ok. When was the last time you changed your mind about something? OKAY SO I started a new birth control, right? It. Sent. Me. BACK. With my PTSD. How? Idfk, but I was suddenly obsessing over Him again, badly. I stopped that shit, and wha'd'ya know, two days later, I'm like "lol wtf I don't want him why did that just happen hunty was u ok????????". SO YEAH, that was a trip. Do you know anyone with a lisp? I'm not sure. Possibly. How much weight can you lift at once? No clue. Not a lot. Do you ask guys out, or wait for them to ask you out? I've never asked a guy out, but I wouldn't say I wouldn't. Do you like the last person who showed interest in you? I love her. Describe the last person you stared at? I have no idea. Do you like dating one person at a time, or multiple people? I'm personally monogamous. Have your experiences made you more or less sympathetic to others? MORE. Do you find smoking unattractive? I do. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? Mom has. Where did you get your last bruise from? ... Well. This is uh. Awkward. Tying into when I was on that medicine that made my libido fucking uncontrollable (thank the fucking lord I'm back to normal), my breasts are lookin rough, sister. Are you looking forward to anything? Nothing in the VERY near future, I think. A bit further off, Christmas. I can't wait to see the kids so excited again, and for once, we come together as a true family. Plus my #1 wish is to have my Mark tattoo improved at an amazing parlor, and I'm pretty sure that'll be happening, just obvs. not on Christmas Day itself. I'll just be fuckin STOKED when I *know* it's happening. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes. How much money did you spend today? $1.25 for something from the vending machine. I didn't have breakfast, so I was really hungry. When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? Try to not doze off. If we're not doing anything, then I'll play around with my phone. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Oh, definitely. Ever walked into the guy’s bathroom? HA as a stupid elementary school with her friends, we sure did during a work day (my mom used to work with special ed kids at school). We thought we were soooo rebellious. How many wives or husbands do you want? One. What happens if you fall in love with your best friend? Ha, did. I still am, and we hope to be back together someday. Has a teacher ever flirted with you? Not that I know of. Thankfully. Is it okay for friends to kiss each other, as friends? It's not my thing, but sure, if it's consenting and both are aware it's platonic. Do your wishes ever get granted in the worst way possible? Probably in some way at some point I don't recall. How do you feel about your naked body? NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO Have you ever been called obnoxious? I don't think so, anyway. Do you wish you had a bigger family? No. Which friend would you kiss full on the mouth, no questions asked? Sara. Can you do a split or stick your foot up next to your ear? Nope. When was the last time you complained about something? I was venting some mild frustration to Sara earlier tonight. What is your favorite color combination? Favorite is probably pastel orange and light blue. Love it. Then there's pastel pink and purple. Okay pretty much any combination is about the pastels When was the last time you spoke in front of a group? A month or so back when I had to do my Lifeline presentation in FYS. Do you like group projects, or do you prefer to work alone? I strongly prefer working alone. There's no disagreements, compromises, incompetent partners, etc. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? Yup! (: Indirectly, but. How did you respond? I don't recall, but I wish I did. Who is the most argumentative person you know? She's not in my life anymore partially BECAUSE of that shit. Do you know anyone who is crazy about proper grammar? Yes, but she has OCD as a valid reason. I'm pretty particular about it too to a degree. Who was the last person to make you feel special? Oh my gosh, my therapist told me she was so proud of me and the progress I was making that I just entirely lit up and became a total beaming ball of giggles and "thank you"s. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? No, I'm bi. If your best friend grabs your hand, what do you automatically do? Squeeze it. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Cheesy and spicy scrambled eggs, man. Also known as the only thing I can properly cook lmao. Do you tend to flirt a lot, even when the person isn’t single? Fuck no, if they're not single. I'll flirt with my s/o when I see it appropriate or relevant, and in a case where we're both single, I'd be very subtle about it because shy. What’s something that you think is really cute? Off the very top of my head, the Ewoks from Star Wars, oh my fucking god. They were the only thing I enjoyed in the movies. What’s a pretty bird? I mean... pretty much all of them. BUT, can we take a moment to appreciate the bearded vulture? like???? they're fucking BADASS???????????? Besides sleeping, what do you do in bed? Almost... everything. It's the reason I endured/am still recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs. Have you ever hacked into somebody’s account? Playfully, back when that was a thing for friends to do and post lovey-dovey stuff about them everywhere. Megan and I, and I believe Mini and I as well, did it to each other. Possibly more. Is having to pee really badly worse than being really thirsty? Oh hell yes it is. The former can get to a point of hurting. Have you ever touched a Qu'ran? No. Do you love animals more than most? Oh definitely. Why do you eat fast food? It's easy to grab when on the run, and Mom has almost zero time to cook. Then we both have school. Most often I just warm things up in the microwave or grab something substantial enough in the fridge. Is there always going to be that one person you and a friend makes fun of? I guess you could say indirectly, yes. Just something she said in a certain way became an inside joke. Her as a person, no, I wouldn't do that. What is a bad habit of yours that you’re actually trying to fix? Having terrible eye contact. I have a very hard time maintaining it, but I've been trying to keep that weakness in mind when talking to people. Do you write out your feelings? That's one reason why I take these surveys, yes. Do you have bills to pay yet? It's embarrassing that I don't. Not saying like, I want to pay bills, what madman would, but I do want to feel more like a proper, independent adult. Will you be changing your hair any time soon? Not the style, but one thing I'm asking for Christmas is a professional to dye my hair silver. I say pro because my hair does NOT hold color, and because of the bleach needed, Mom's concerned I'll damage my hair if I put my trust into anyone less qualified. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? I don't think so, but she looks UNCANNILY like her firstborn daughter. It is SCARY. Is there something you wish you could learn to do? There's loads of stuff. Probably above all, cook. Or stop procrastinating. If you could be amazing at ONE thing, what would it be? Drawing precisely what I see in my head. Because of how important they are to me, I would pay BIG FUCKING BUCKS to get how my 'kats look onto paper. What do you wish people would pay you to do? Complain about my weight. :^) I'd be able to just pay for surgery to fix that within a day. Do you take good pictures? I personally think I do. I mean I wanna be a professional photographer. How would one go about impressing you? It depends on the subject and difficulty of whatever. What probably impresses me most would be someone maintaining a mature, peaceful attitude when there is reason to act otherwise. Self-control, that's it. Do you automatically apologize if you walk into somebody? Duh? Tell me a memory of this summer: It was fucking scorching and I hated every minute of it. What’s something that you don’t need, but really want? Hmmmm. OH, HELL YES. IF I had the proper body to even remotely pull them off, I. Would wear. NOTHING. But corsets. Jesus FUCKING Christ they are so hot. What do you draw more than anything else? Just about all I draw is meerkats. What’s the most favorite class you’ve ever had? The Digital Photography course I took in high school. Or Art Honors my junior year. I really enjoyed the stuff I made. For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: Jason: melancholy; Tyler: dramatic; Girt(?): loyal; Sara: ideal. How do you react when you trip or stumble? Gasp and carry on. If it was a more serious trip, I look around at who saw. Are you good at “biting your tongue”? NO. Why do you love the one you do? She's been there for me without fail, has undying faith in me, supports me through everything, is honest, she's funny and very unique, her adoration for animals shows a great level of compassion, she trusts me so much despite her history, she stands extremely firmly for what she sees as right and wrong... okay I can honestly write an essay on why I love her. Would you rather get [another] tattoo or piercing? GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 THE TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111 Do you have long or short legs? I'd say they're normal, idk. When do you listen to Nickelback? *shrugs* When I wanna? Would you rather make the first move, or your crush? Them. I'm shy.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

[virovac]

Kyle’s funeral (rough snippets)

Bow, Scorpia and Catra were the only ones willing, or able to give speeches

Bow talked about how it took him a few years after the war to fully understand what Kyle and the rest of the Horde troopers had experienced, only fully realizing the severity after working with the younger cadets who had been rescued from the Horde.

Scorpia spoke of Kyle's artwork, and how she regretted never getting to know one of the Horde's few other artists.

Lonnie tried to give one but stopped after a few sentences unable to continue.

Entrapta had planned to read out a list of things Shadow Weaver praised Kyle on in her files, but was persuaded not to once it was explained most were backhanded compliments...and that no one wanted to think about Shadow Weaver. So she just sat in the audience.

Catra's was simple and to the point.

"He was smarter than anyone gave him credit for. There was a reason I cheated off him rather Rogelio or Adora."

(this is a long first draft. More below)

***

“You know in a weird way, having you act disrespectful is kinda helping me cope”

Catra swirled her drink. “Better everyone be mad at me than focus on the sad.”

Adora shook her head. “I don’t think that will help the others. It will just distract them from getting closure.. But it is helping me, so thanks and please don't try to cause trouble."

Catra, calmly looked around, ready to drop this line of conversation.

She turned to Sea Hawk, who was sullenly looking at the options at the buffet.

"So how did you know the deceased.?"

Sea Hawk jumped a bit, not having noticed her.

"Well, er apparently I threw him. Unnecessarily,it turns out."

A dark smirk grew on Catra's face. 

"Pfft.Wow, I'm sure he'd really be happy to know you attended."

"Catra. Be nice.” Adora chastened. He helped Entrapta try and track down where Kyle was born so he could be buried there." , 

"In the remains" was the unspoken part of that sentence. Knowing the Horde, It was doubtful Kyle came from anyplace that was still standing.

In the end, he had been placed in the cemetery closest to Lonnie's and Rogellio's apartment. 

Catra didn't understand why they didn't just cremate Kyle like back in the Horde, but it wasn't her business.

Sea Hawk puffed out his chest."One of the saddest things that can happen for a sailor is to not be buried at home. I wish I had succeeded in helping this man to where he came from, but alas… the trail was too old and too cold"

After that there was some more brief small-talk (the pirate got unusually open about his acceptance his body would likely never be recovered the day he met his end), then they left Sea Hawk be.

****

Adora felt a question poke her brain. "Scorpia showed pictures of the art he left behind, some even from back in the Horde. I know he could probably swipe a pen; but where did Kyle get the supplies to do the colors?"

Catra looked uncomfortable, but tried to play it off with a shrug"  I gave him our old stash right after Thaymor. Didn't have it in me to just throw it out."

That was a confusing mix of feelings.there, They had worked hard on developing that collection, grabbing anything they could find in the trash or fallen off a Horde transport that been bringing in ill-gained bounty.

But… it was nice to know that after their falling out at Thaymor, their prized collection still got use.

***

Adora found Lonnie sitting on a rock, flicking through a datapad displaying scans of all of Kyle's drawings.

"You know, I always thought he wasn't all there. But now, I think I'm emptier than he was. He had dreams. Unlikely ones, but you know, as the war went on the impossible seemed to happen every day." 

Her gaze turned to the horizon

"If he couldn't make it in peacetime, what chance do I have?

Adora could not stay silent at that. 

"He wouldn't want you to think that way.".

Lonnie bit back some instinctual counter about "why does that matter?". She changed the subject.

"Grizzlor's old team sent a card" 

Adora paused. "Aren't they all in prison?"

 "For war crimes?" she thought. 

There was a lot of stuff going unstated today.

Lonnie brushed that off.."Yeah, apparently Kyle used to hang around them a lot when he wasn't hiding behind us. He was their "team mascot.' They'd bask in his admiration and tell him stories. "

Adora felt unraveled. That seemed like such a big thing to not know.

"And no one knew about this?"

Lonnnie shrugged.

"Rogelio did.but he didn't think it was important, but that's why he was always able to find Kyle."

"Its from them he got the description to make a drawing of you and Swift Wind.”

"Kyle drew a picture of us?! While in the Horde?!"

"We didn't know you were She-Ra yet back then, okay?  It was right after you fought them outside the woods"  Lonnie rolled her eyes.

Lonnie found a smile creeping up on her face.

"Can you believe he actually put it on his locker to try and look tough? Having a "scary princess" on it? Probably a good thing Catra tore it up so he didn't get accused of being a sympathizer." 

"Actually I would have liked to see it,'' Adora responded in a flat tone. She herself couldn't tell if she was actually wistful or just saying something nice.. 

Silence followed. The well of conversation was running dry, yet the emotions were not leaving.

"Apparently, Grizzlor once tried to reassure him by saying it took him until he was 400 years old before anyone thought he was worth something,"

That was so horrible, it was funny. The secondhand embarrassment from the terrible attempt to cheer Kyle up seemed to call across time and space. Soon Adora and Lonnie were snickering than full on laughing. 

Then mutual sobbing. 

Lonnie felt a strange pressure, and opened her eyes to find Adora's arms around her.

Lonnie sighed.

"You turned into a real hugger after leaving the Horde, Adora. I'm not sure I like it."

****

Rogelio was mostly motionless in a group of other people when Adora came back with Lonnie. He didn't really know anyone else here. 

The exact nature of his bond with Kyle was always confusing in hindsight. Much less clearer than her and Catra's or his friendship with Lonnie. She wondered if either had understood it. It was dependable, but grew colder with age.

They had all grown less warm towards Kyle as they got older, she thought. As the Horde's grip grew tighter in their minds  they became less patient with him. And as they got less patient, his performance worsened.

He really only was kept on because he was good at written portions of the tests, and because Shadow Weaver liked to use him to berate everyone else. " I see once again Kyle is the only one taking the lesson seriously" she would say.

****

Catra felt empty headed, yet also like her skull was stuffed to the brim at the same time. She had never thought much of Kyle. But she never really thought about anyone in her squad except Adora. She had let Adora be her entire world, let the cruelty of the Horde make her treat Adora as her only refuge.

Yet here had been another outsider, one who had never done anything mean to her, another possible ally, in easy reach the whole time.

She regretted not trying.

****

He wasn't the best of them.

He wasn't the worst of them.

He was just a person who hadn't been treated as a person should.

She had said the squad had been her family to Glimmer once.

Now that felt hollow and comical.

She stared one last time at the grave.

Adora knew she'd never be able to move on from this completely. The only guilt she had ever managed to full break free from was that she was directly made to feel by Shadow Weaver. Any other guilt... it always found its way back randomly. 

"I'm sorry."

She paused

"I'll try… no I will be better."

She felt something more was needed.

She took out her sword.

"For the Honor of Grayskull" she whispered softly. 

She-Ra kneeled before the grave.

 Adora had never been one to think being She-Ra being made her better. But maybe acknowledgment from the revered She-Ra could in some small way make up for not being there when he was alive.

Angella touched her shoulder from behind. Adora turned to gaze into the woman's eyes 

She leaned into the angel's maternal hug.

It was time to go.

#sadfic #character exploration #spop fanfic #adora (spop) #implied suicide #adora and catra #lonnie (Spop) #catra (Spop) #sea hawk (spop)

[themattress]

Was at a bookstore and...

I would like to make a formal apology to Tomoco Kanemaki. It turns out that her authorized fanfiction is NOT, in fact, the most cringe-inducing Kingdom Hearts material ever published.

That dubious honor actually goes to this piece of shit:

If the cover didn’t clue you in, it’s from a cheap, unofficial publishing firm called Boss Fight Books that specializes in having fans of certain video games writing books about said game. The book on KH2 is written by Alexa Ray Corriea, who is the most stereotypical dumbass, trashy KH fangirl / KHInsider member you could possibly find. The contents of the book are:

Six Days Later: An Exercise in Futility with a Boy Named Roxas - She tries justifying the notorious prologue of the game, but in the worst possible way: by focusing on the character of Roxas himself and his existential angst, which was one of the biggest complaints about the prologue to begin with! I know this is a matter of opinion, but you would think she’d attempt a better defense more on the lines of this video, something that people seldom think about. 

Nobodies and Somebodies - Oh, joy. The typical fangirl romanticization of Nobodies and their angsty plight, and the Draco in Leather Pants treatment toward Organization XIII. Ugh.

Riku and Redemption, Or, What Doesn't Kill You - Her Riku fangirlism explodes in this chapter, to the point of breaking the book’s rules. She’s supposed to just talk about KH2 specifically, and yet in order to talk up Riku’s redemption arc, she has to talk about several other games since, if you’re just going by KH2, the bulk of Riku’s redemption is completely off-screen and he only shows up in person to finish it in the final world & battle of the game. Sora is the main character of the game, and yet he doesn’t get a chapter focused on him! 

Gone Girl - And here’s the fangirl misogyny masquerading as feminism! Alexa is clearly part of the KHInsider cult that is always tearing down the “hated bland love-interest” Kairi in order to prop up the “safer and relatable” (read: angsty and socially withdrawn) Namine despite them objectively being the same characterization-wise through both hypocrisy and sheer dishonesty: she lies by omission or just flat-out lies in order to make her points work.

Examples: Omitting Kairi choosing to enter the dark portal, the fact that canonly she got away from Axel on her own (she lies and claims Saix just took her from Axel ala the non-canon novel and manga), and that she jumped off a balcony to save Sora from the Heartless before getting her Keyblade in order to claim she never shows bravery or initiative. Credits Namine for saving Kairi but not Kairi for reuniting and later saving Sora and Riku. Blatantly lies by saying Namine had agency and “flexed her powers freely” in CoM, completely omitting that she was a slave to Marluxia until the very end. Says it’s sexist for Kairi to be there to speak words of emotional comfort and gratification to Sora like “you’re home”, but praises Namine for giving words of emotional comfort and gratification to Roxas. Says it’s sexist for Kairi and Namine to keep “changing hands” of different keepers, but that it’s offset for Namine by her “having agency” in defying DiZ to help Roxas and saving Kairi (while, again, omitting all of Kairi’s acts of agency.)  And claiming that Namine is the kind of girl Kairi wishes she was when canonly it’s the opposite: Namine is a mousy, weak-willed servant at first and ends up channeling Kairi as she grows and develops.  Also, she brings up Aqua, who is not in KH2.

Bad Romances and Rad Bromances - Related to the previous chapter, this is the inevitable yaoi fangirl chapter that gushes over Sora/Riku and Axel/Roxas. Kairi and Sora/Kairi are shit on with more lies and omissions (ignoring that Sora knew Kairi was safe and didn’t know if Riku was, ignoring that he did frequently fret about Kairi once he knew she was captured, disingenuously underplaying the emotion between Sora and Kairi’s own reunion, and again ignoring that Kairi single-handedly made that reunion happen AND saved the boys’ lives at the end of the game solely because she and Sora are so close.) The Axel/Roxas part is no better, as she glorifies and romanticizes Axel’s actions over Roxas in the game even though canonly it’s disturbing, unhealthy, and ultimately tragic, and ignoring Roxas’ feelings entirely. 

And she also thinks there was a Sora/Kairi/Riku love triangle when, LOL, no, there wasn’t.

Long Live the King - An analysis on...King Mickey? Look, I love Mickey too, but I’m at a loss as to why he gets a chapter while Sora, Donald and Goofy (who deserve a chapter if not just to point out how their names are spammed in that exact order throughout the game) don’t. 

A Kid's Game? - Trying to use the dark stuff and tough gameplay to defend the game from being labeled a “kids’ game”...except that this book was written and published recently. This isn’t the early days when there was only one KH game, people have understood that the KH series attracts fans of all ages for YEARS now. Look at all of the hype among adults for KH3 coming out! That she actually seems to think that the “kids’ game” label is something that’s thrown around at the series anymore gives me so much secondhand embarrassment. 

What the Hell is Kingdom Hearts Anyway? - Oh, wow. She actually tries to make sense of Nomura’s convoluted bullshit in this chapter. And it’s every bit as pretentious as it sounds.

Coda - This last one is possibly the most stupefying and rage-inducing of them all. It’s the coda, the final chapter of her book, and what does she use it for? More cringey, unabashed Riku fangirling! In fact, she decides to claim that Riku, not Sora, is the REAL main protagonist of the KH series...not just as an opinion, mind you, but as a FACT, saying that he’s much more “relatable” (again: code for angsty) than Sora. Sora is casually dismissed and objectified as just some unachievable ideal who is only interesting through his relationship with Riku. So yes, in a book about Kingdom Hearts II, she wraps it up by singing the praises of a character who really only shows up in the final level of the game, propping him up at the expense of the actual main character you spend the game playing as. What a load of tripe.

Fuck this book and fuck Alexa Ray Corriea, I want her to rot in the Realm of Darkness.

#Disney #Square Enix #Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts II #Alexa Ray Corriea #Fandumb #Hypocrite #Sexism #Misogyny #Stupidity #Anti-Boss Fight Books #Anti-Alexa Ray Corriea

[marculees]

Soft Bias Tag <3

Tagged by the lovely @pikachulein, thank you! ^-^

Prepare for soft cringe. So because I’m selfish and lowkey narcissistic hahaha, I kinda have two so this is going to be a 2-in-1 yay. I haven’t even started yet and I’m already laughing?? Anyway lets go~

1. Who is my Bias?

💛 Jackson Wang

💜 Mark Lee

2. What made you notice him?

💛 His laugh, sense of humor and energy! It was contagious and I couldn’t help just OwO at him in every video lololol

💜 Lmao we have the exact same birthday so I was like omg yes finally someone I can relate to. So I looked up his profile and noticed we were basically the same person and was shook O.o

3. What’s your favorite thing about him?

💛 His heart of gold (aha get the emoji reference yeeeah i did that).He’s honestly such a kind and generous person and sjkglsgfdkjf he makes me cry. Like when I see him helping others or taking care of his members or his family especially, my heart skips a beat. He’s my ideal type tbh, as cringey as that sounds. Here’s an excerpt from a letter to my bias thing I have in my drafts cx

“Ideal types may be just a charade to some, but ultimately you are everything I want in a partner. Your kindness and generosity is one of my favourite things about you and is hugely underappreciated by others. How you always go out of your way to help others, be it strangers or loved ones, is so inspiring. You truly have a heart of gold and I feel like it isn’t said enough. Yes, you are fucking gorgeous and a huge idiot but its the kind soul underneath that I love most.”

💜 That he makes me feel more confident and loving towards myself <3

“I’ve always been the black sheep, odd one out, and I still struggle with finding others I can relate to. When I was in school I was friendly with everyone but with my friends I wasn’t really considered part of the group. I didn’t fit.  I was an afterthought, an outsider. I’m in college now and while I do feel a sense of belonging with my new friends, with you I feel not just that but a sense of understanding, a sense of empathy NCT 2018. Since the very first day, I settled on biasing you for these probably selfish reasons alone. I was a kid back then, we both were. And now that we are barely considered adults, I am still following you. But my initial fascination has become much deeper than just that. The more I’ve fallen in love with you, the more I’ve begun to love myself also. You show and teach me things I’ve discredited or put down about about myself. The more interest I showed in you and your group, the more similar I realised we are. From our attitude, ethic, gestures, sense of humor and way of speaking, it became apparent to me that I had finally found someone. Someone who makes me feel like it’s okay to be who I am, because I am not alone. What I perceived as flaws in myself, I saw as endearing in you.”

*pukes from cringe at myself* I am never going to post the full thing

4. Who would initiate skinship more?

💛 HIM WITHOUT A DOUBT. He’s a touchy baby. Tbh it would probably piss me off slightly, like I’m just being honest ahaha. I don’t mind people touching my thigh or my arm for a second but he’s the type to just touch and then stay there lol

💜 Him too, I think. I’ve noticed he’s become a bit more touchy with the members recently! I’m not very touchy but if someone is more chill about it and doesn’t feel like its necessary or has to be like all the fucking time, then I’m more inclined to actually engage in it surprise surprise.

5. Who would hog the blankets more?

💛 I would say him but then I remember him saying he gets really hot at night (it was in one of those GOT2Days with JB lol). I get hot too so he can hog them if he wants cx

💜 He’s pretty chill, like so long as he has his pillow to hug then I don’t think he would mind much. I would insist on covering him up still though. I’m not a hogger at all, in fact usually I end up with literally half/no blanket in the morning because I’ve kicked it off at some point

6. Who would be more clingy?

💛 HIM. I honestly don’t think I need to explain XD

💜 Oooh tough question. I feel like it could be him? I would be more clingy on the inside, if that makes sense?

7. Who would say I love you first?

💛 I think it would be me but just as like a casual thing like, “Ahh you’re lucky I love you”. But he would take it serious and be like “...I love you too”. And then I’d get all giggly and embarrassed because that’s all I ever do T-T

💜 Maybe me? Idk like it would a kind of ‘in the moment’ thing? I’d be thinking it but I wouldn’t say it until I realised I actually had. I’ve done this before ;-;

8. Who would be more easily flustered?

💛 Me!!!! I bet that would be his favourite thing to do too. He’s such a little shit like he’d be all “Aww is someone all blushy?” and then make me even worse and kjdsgfldfmdsfg I would lowkey enjoy it tbh XD

💜 I think him actually! I wouldn’t be over-the-top romantic or cheesy so if I ever did something, it would catch him by surprise and make him uwu haha. I’m not the best at speaking my thoughts but I would write lots of poems and songs for him and I think that would make him get all flustered since he likes writing too c:

9. What cuddling position would you two have?

💛 Aww I honestly love backhugs so anything where I could just wrap my arms around him and lie against his back. The big spoon! But I feel like he would give the best hugs so like sitting in his lap with his arms around me and djkfhdjfhj fuck this shit I’m out T-T

💜 We’re both quite childish and awkward when it comes to cuddling so I feel like it would be just playwrestling and then forgetting that we’re supposed to wrestle so we just lie in a big tangle on top of each other ;-;

10. Which colors remind you of them and why?

💛 Yellow because his blonde hair is beautiful, plus he’s so bright and cheerful like the colour itself  ^-^

💜 Pink! He looks adorable in pink plus he’s mentioned the colour a few times on broadcasts and stuff so I feel like he has a fondness for it~

11. Which season would you like to spend with them?

💛 Summer because he’s probably be sleeveless all the time or even shirtless... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I have no shame ahahaha

💜 Winter because I think if it was snowing, it would remind him of his home and then it would be cute af and we’d have a snowball fight and hot chocolate after <3

12. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

💛 Tbh we’d bake and steal it together XD

💜 I think he would try so hard not to fuck the baking up but I’d tempt him into stealing the batter with me cx

13. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

💛 Ohhh definitely me. And he’d either scream with laughter or just get pissed off oops. I’d just laugh even more though lmao

💜 We share the same sense of humor so it would be kinda mutual! I’d make a shitty pun and he makes an even worse one on top of that and then we end up getting into a spiral of awful puns and rhymes and before you know it we’ve written possibly the worst rap of all time

14. Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

💛 Me. I don’t want kids but I’m g with furbabies. 50 is a bit much though XD

💜 ^^^

15. Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

💛 I’d be the dumbass burning down the kitchen, no questions asked. He’d be having a heart attack and be screaming, like I can actually hear his scream right now just picturing it XD

💜 Oh dear, again it would probably be mutual... >.<

16. Who likes to lean over trail railings and who pulls them back?

💛 I’m really protective so I’d help steady him and make sure he doesn’t fall because we know how excited he gets XD

💜 ^^^ But I have seen him holding the members and looking out for their safety in general, so I think it would be him in this case actually~

17. What would watching a horror film with them be like?

💛 “This isn’t even scary. Like look, nothing is happening. Stop hiding behind the cushion, Niamh.” “THE MOTHERFUCKER IS RIGHT ON THE SCREEN, YOU LIAR. I HATE YOU.”

💜 “If you get scared, you can hold onto me” .“You mean, cuddle you because you’re scared, right?”. “Ah...yes, Niamh. Thanks.”

18. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

💛 He’d be sooooo cheesy, like to the point where its not even flirting but just straight up cringey. I don’t flirt often but when I do, its like wow I see what you did there. But I’d get embarrassed around him so it would be less smooth and more stuttery unless I got a sudden burst of confidence. He would have no shame flirting though, like he legit would be the type to say “Omg damn girl, that ass” and I’d slap him XD

💜 Eww he’d be cheesy like he’d be walking around and see something and try make it a rap like in the LA vlog lmao. Something really dumb like “You’re so pretty, those flowers don’t compare because you have a cute face and nice hair” and I’d just be like “uhhh....thanks?” and burst out laughing and blushing out of secondhand embarrassment XD

19. Who is more competitive?

💛 We’re both so competitive but I think with his history in sporting competitions (whereas I was too shy to do them T-T), it would give him just a bit more. I’d always encourage him though, like I’d love seeing him try his best and would always ask if there was anything I could do to help. But if it came to games, I don’t take the “I let you win” excuse cx

💜 Me? I take my passions very seriously and throw myself into what I do, like I get VERY into my work. I was v competitive in debating and any time I hear the word challenge, its like yasss bring it on bish. Mark is competitive too but I think he’d prefer taking a support role. He’s so encouraging of his members and I honestly need a little cheerleader like him in my life ;-;

20. Who would be given constant reminders? (Don’t forget your keys, things like that)

💛 As much of a nagger I can be, I feel like he is the type to do this even at random moments. Like we’d be chilling together and then he’ll just say out of nowhere, “Did you eat lunch btw? I’m going to make you lunch”. He wouldn’t listen to any bullshit. He’d take care of me whether I liked it or not haha

💜 Hhmm kinda mutual here but for different things, if that makes sense? Like he’d be telling me to “take your meds and vitamins, bring a jacket, text when you get there”, etc. I’d be like “take a break for a few minutes, I’ll be there soon with some food”, etc, I need reminders for taking care of myself but I give reminders for others to take care of themselves lol

21. Who sends memes and who sends cute ‘i miss you’ texts at 3am?

💛 He’s the sappy bitch with “I miss you” texts haha and being the idiot I am, I would send him memes of himself in response XD

💜 Honestly, unless he was maybe drunk I think it would be me. Like it would very out of the blue and probably make him panic a bit oops. He’d write a long ass ride message in response though because he’d be so worried ^^’

This was very soft and cringey ahaha but I’m going to tag @jaexmins @cosmicrailwaybisexual @happysmilebtr @kikitsaaa @nctdoingthings @castielsinwhite @thefroghyungwon @seulgii-princess and if anyone else wants to do it then just say I tagged you XD

#tagged #soft bias tag #this was jfgfgdfmgd #too many feels #ult #twin

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 1X10 - 7:15 AM

Unfortunately, I’ve no jokes popping out at me for my opening this time, but a little birdie told me you should head below the cut.

(Got that one in at the literal eleventh hour! I work for my lovely readers ;) )

Press Release Mary Margaret and David continue to grapple with their unrequited love, and Emma and Regina grow suspicious over a mysterious new stranger in town. Meanwhile, in the fairytale land that was, Snow White yearns to ease her breaking heart as Prince Charming’s wedding to King Midas’s daughter approaches. General Thoughts Past During my review of “Snow Falls,” I commented on the fact that as that would be the only time we’d get any substantively meaty Snow and Charming scenes for quite some time and that every other episode’s flashback would depend on how well that episode handled them, I wasn’t joking and this is the first episode where you feel the effects of it. (For more on that, head on down to “Flip My Ship”). It’s weird, I never saw the nuance in King George, but damnit, he is right. True Love being worth fighting for regardless of the obstacles is one of the central themes of OUaT, and I think for the most part, the show does a good job of showing that. However, we sometimes forget that that pursuit is not without its consequences (Depriving others of the prosperity and peace that David and Abigail’s marriage would bring to their kingdoms), and here, George lays that out in no uncertain terms. Is he most likely acting more in the interest of himself and his kingdom more than anything? Yes, but the validity of what he’s saying still remains. His plans and reasoning are well thought out and admirably complex. I feel guilty. In the past, I just saw him as this one note villain, but holy hell: a few years can really do a lot to change one. I wish we saw more of him, only to see more of this viewpoint. Snow and Charming definitely do end up winning the day, but the idea of sacrifices and bloodshed are for the most part all but abandoned after this episode. The fact that David, immediately after hearing what George has to say, writes a letter to Snow discussing how he’s willing to abandon everything else without a second thought for her almost makes him unlikable in the face of that. The only thing that save his is that damnit, Charming lives up to his nickname!

Snow’s aspect of the story is interesting too. We see these two sides of her battling. The first side, of course, is her love for Charming, and that’s strengthened both by the letter she receives and the fear she has of losing him to his arranged marriage. However, what’s really clever is that the fear she had back in “Snow Falls” didn’t go away, and Rumple, Grumpy, and George help to reinforce her own doubts by giving the pursuit of love an actual cost - one’s heart, freedom, and potentially not theirs, but their beloved’s life. It’s a very clever use of characters. Actually, after a day or two, I realized that Snow’s arc was even stronger than I gave it credit for. In this episode, despite having her reservations about love, she does overcome them despite what I pointed out, and it’s only the fear of Charming dying that makes her back off. The ultimate resolution is so much like the character herself: Tragic, but not without that bit of hope always by her side (In this case, her new friendships and the breaking of David’s marriage). Present So I basically had no strong thoughts on this episode (Apart from dread at a certain aspect, but I’ll discuss that shortly) until we see Mary Margaret nearly fall down the cliff. 

Then it hit me: The David and Mary Margaret storyline is this episode is the most fanfic-y, romance novel-y material I have ever seen (And that’s not a bash against it at all). Like, you get that mutual pining, David saves Mary Margaret after some tension, they’re stuck in a cabin together, they both love animals. Entire weeks’ worth of soaps don’t have half as many romance tropes as this storyline does! That said, the more I see of David Nolan pre-broken curse, the more I dislike him. He simply refuses to own the choice he makes and with these small windows of time the show is giving us, it’s either unrealistic or horrible of him to jump from one woman to the other. And yeah, at this point in the series, Abigail wasn’t too kind, but David didn’t know that, in hindsight, she hasn’t done anything more than be annoying, and everything we’ve seen of Kathryn has been delightful, patient, and kind thus far. I really feel like there needed to be more of a time discrepancy or evidence of some real trying on David’s part before suddenly doing whatever he could to see Mary Margaret. It makes David’s speech after releasing the bird so eye rolling to listen to (Though Josh’s puppy dog eyes and loving gaze make me really wish there was more to it) because while he claims that he has feelings for Kathryn, the most we’ve seen of it is a shaky scene together outside the Nolan house and a kiss that is now spoiled with the knowledge that it came right after David made a move to go see his crush. As for the August and Emma storyline, well, for one thing, they have a fantastic rapport. August’s ability to dodge questions like a skilled Mario Kart player dodges banana peels faced off against Emma’s focused and pointed questions is the greatest battle of wits. It positively glued my eyes to the screen, and the fact that I can say that despite knowing exactly what happens is so cool! Insights I love that opening shot! For one thing, it grants a special level of ambiguity as to what realm we’re in for those slow first couple of seconds. For another, they get Henry walking towards August through his reflection in the motorcycle! The cinematography of this show is so under-celebrated, and my ful props to them! Also, completely-unintentional-and-thus-hindsight-ily-badass foreshadowing of Henry riding a motorbike in the future! So I’m aware I’m 100% wrong about this wacky theory, but follow me on this. The episode is called “7:15am” and the most famous time on the show is 8:15. Is this, alongside a significant time for David and MM, an allusion to the fact that they’re figuratively one step behind the curse? I started blushing out of secondhand embarrassment when Mary Margaret revealed how much she knew about David’s schedule. “Love is the worst. I wish there was a magic cure.” It’s called booze! Wow! This is the first time I’ve seen Snow and Red have a scene together in a while! I missed their friendship! I find it so interesting how stories of The Dark One are kept under such wraps. In the “Desperate Souls,” the Dark One’s existence is borderline common knowledge because of how the Duke yielded him. However, Rumple - possibly due to fear or just a desire to be left alone - took the opposite approach and kept his reputation so quiet over the centuries, so much so that his mere existence is now questioned. Given his rather large...estate, what do you think he had to do to make that happen? Yay!!! We get to see Snow’s cloak again!!! Also, I don’t care if it’s just a set - the design for the scene between Rumple and Snow is creepy and beautiful! I love the atmosphere! It’s simple and shady! Rumple’s going on about all this anti-love stuff and I’m like, “Let’s talk in a year, bro.” Seeing Charming send out that bird makes me wish for a scene where the two of them spoke of Snow’s uncanny ability. ...Also, nice transition! XD I actually forgot that Grumpy gave the basics of his origin story before his episode came out. “Give us our best shot.” I can’t help but feel like that was so intentionally slightly off the mark from “our best chance,” showing that something’s not quite right. I love how as MM is getting her coffee at the end of the episode you can just HEAR the “fuck” as she hears the bell. Arcs David and Mary Margaret finding each other - One thing that I can say is that we get development here. Look, I’m not a fan of cheating plots, but it is interesting to see Mary Margaret and David struggle to find a happy middle ground in an emotionally complicated situation. That said, the lack of time and real commitment to being with Kathryn makes me question why they’d even bother having the cheating subplot. Snow and Charming finding each other - This episode builds right off of both the conclusion of “Snow Falls” and the insight of “The Shepherd.” Additionally, I like that Snow and Charming aren’t stuck in the “Do I have feelings for this person” phase of their romance for long because it allows for the rest of the arc to take off well from here. The Mystery of August Booth - We get a brief introduction of this arc here, and it wastes no time connecting to the main players: Emma and Henry. There’s also a cool subversion where we get an immediate insight into something that would otherwise be a several episode mystery in another series. However, both the man and mystery are still prominent and we as an audience know there’s still leagues to explore with him. Favorite Dynamic Snow and Grumpy. While their friendship is given very little time to build, not a second of it is wasted. Even as I know how Grumpy’s story ends up, those first niblets we get here make do a really good job painting his emotional dilemma and making a connection to Snow’s quest. Snow - in turn - gets to build off of Grumpy’s negativity by showing both optimism that opposes him cynicism and kindness when Grumpy and Sneaky leave the jail cell despite them intending on leaving her there. That wish for happiness is so sincere that it could melt steel. And the reciprocation that blossoms as the flashback progresses is just wonderful. Writer Had to do a bit of research (And by research, I mean a Wikipedia article, full disclosure) for this one because while the story (The basic actions and plot points) was written by A&E, the teleplay (The dialogue and smaller actions) was written by Daniel Thomsen. Thankfully, in regards to breaking this down, this information does me quite a few favors. Last time, I wasn’t able to do more than theorize what each writer contributed to the scripts, but right now, I can do a bit more to discuss the finer points. First, let’s tackle A&E’s role. I genuinely feel for the basic layout of this story. Regarding the past, I have no complaints. The broad strokes of emotional buildup work and the conclusion feels completely earned. My thoughts on the present prove to be more challenging. I don’t like that it ends as a cheating story, per se, but if that was to be the story, the basic layout of it does work. There’s a proper building of stakes and the big picture character beats hit home. However, execution is where I have my problems, so let’s tackle Daniel Thomsen. Again, I really have no problems with the execution of the flashbacks, save for oddly amazing piece of development for the villain and his motivation that is just kind of brushed aside. But that’s just a matter of doing too good a job. My issue is really with the present events, or just the things that aren’t on the page that really should be. It’s hard for me to feel sorry for David for walking out on Mary Margaret when there’s hardly an implication that he’s giving himself and Kathryn a fighting chance. I know I’m supposed to be feeling how he’s caught in between these two sets of memories and the kiss at the end does retain its weight, but so often during this episode, I just wished that he would make a choice and stick to it. What makes this all the more aggravating would be if there was just one or two more lines about making an effort there. And for a while, Thomsen was showing that through David and Kathryn’s interactions and the way he talked about her and things were feeling more like a real push-pull for him, but it was ruined the moment David said that he had been planning his coffee trips to coincide with Mary Margaret. At that line, my faith was shattered and it harmed my perception of the character. Rating 8/10. This was an entertaining episode to watch. Snow’s journey in the flashback was such an exciting story to witness, especially when it comes to seeing her interact with all of these characters for the first time. This is Ginny’s episode to shine in both realms and the show makes sure that you know it through the array of emotions she pulls off throughout the runtime. So much of Snow and Mary Margaret’s character is expanded upon through all of this. The present stuff is pretty flawed for reasons I explained above, but damnit, this show knows how to sell fairytale magic and fate and some impressive forest locations, music, shots, and animal habits really sell the scope of the small story. Flip My Ship Snowing - I love that lingering effect that’s clearly been had on Snow. Love nestled itself into her like coins in a couch sofa. But at the same time, there’s still that cynicism from the last episode and while love is pushing it out, the tragedy of their circumstances still keeps it there. And the cute look as she’s watching Charming go off to pack - both times! That is a woman in love! And then the sorrow when she has to end things with Charming is so hard because every gleam of her eyes just screams that this is the last thing in the world that she wants to do! AND as she’s walking away, she looks like she’s gonna collapse from utter sadness! DAMNIT, GEORGE! Swan Queen - Emma’s so flirty in that scene by the car and it’s just adorable against Regina’s no-nonsense business attitude! Captain Swan - “Not a day goes by that I’ve not thought of you.” Oh, that line brings back retroactive parallel memories! :D

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Thank you for reading and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales for putting this rewatch together! See you all next time and...be careful of the fruits you eat. They maaaaay be from a poisonous tree. ...If you can’t tell, I love a good stinger.

Season Tally (81/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (31/70) Liz Tigelaar (17/20)* David Goodman (16/50) Jane Espenson (16/60) Andrew Chambliss (8/40) Ian Goldberg (8/40) Daniel Thomsen (8/10)* (* = Their work for the season is complete)

Operation Rewatch Archives

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 1x10 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat #anti-david #but not anti-charming #ships mentioned #snowing #swan queen #captain swan #anti-david/mary margaret

[corystssides]

And They Were Roommates

AO3 Link

Words: 1250

Summary: Classes haven’t even started yet, but Logan’s roommate is already talking about dropping out. Humor. Minor implications of one-sided Prinxiety. College AU.

Warnings: Dramatic jumping to conclusions, some self loathing talk, Virgil/Virgin puns, secondhand embarrassment, i think that’s it but tell me if there’s something else.

Tags: @yep-another-fander, @softlogic, @tssanderssidestrash, @diplomatic-arsonist, @saltequeen, @fallingineternity, @satisfied-sanders-sides, @vixenneko, @the-strange-universe-of-cake, @fangirlfiles1, @winds-and-stardust, @the-laarmy, @pfftwhatnoimhuman, @virgilsanders, @gaysaxaphone, @mira-jadeamethyst, @frustratedwaffle, @romananalogicality

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

“Are you okay?”

“No.”

Logan stared down at his roommate, used to his overdramatic reactions already but still unsure of how to deal with them. He dropped his backpack on his desk. “Why are you laying on the floor?”

“The pointlessness of everything is crushing me,” Virgil said, and sighed.

“Why are you under the impression that everything is pointless? That’s an objectively false statement.”

“Have you seen how smart everyone here is compared to me?” Virgil asked, picking his head up to look at Logan. “There’s no way I can keep up. I’m gonna fail my classes, and then my parents will kick me out for being such a disappointment, and then I’ll have to live under a bridge and be lonely and disappointing forever.”

Logan was struck dumb for a moment. Finally, he said, “That’s a lot of conclusion jumping.”

“Thanks,” Virgil said, sarcastically.

“First of all, classes haven’t even started yet, so how could you possibly be certain that you’re going to fail them? Besides, I’ve already asked several of the RAs, and they’ve all confirmed that the majority of freshman classes aren’t difficult as long as you’re willing to put in the work.”

“Yeah, but they’re all smart enough to be here.”

“Clearly, you are as well, since you are, in fact, here.”

“That was a fluke. I don’t even know how I passed the SATs.”

“You told me yesterday that you graduated salutatorian of your class.”

“Only because my anxiety kept me up until I finished every piece of homework!”

“Well then, your anxiety should be able to do the same thing in college, should it not?”

“Oh my gooood,” Virgil whined, but Logan felt like he was winning the argument. “It’s not the same.”

“How so?”

“High school had a bar set so low that the biggest issue was just finishing the hours and hours of busywork! Here you actually have to know stuff!”

Logan didn’t know what point Virgil was trying to make. “And?” he asked.

“And I don’t know stuff! I’m probably the stupidest salutatorian ever! I can’t even talk to the neighbors without making a fool of myself!”

Ah. It seemed that Logan had found the source of Virgil’s inner turmoil. “What happened while conversing with the neighbors?” Logan asked, sitting down on the edge of his desk.

Virgil, as if realizing his mistake, put his face back on the floor. “Nothing,” he mumbled.

“You appear very upset over nothing, then.”

“I’m not upset!” Virgil snapped, pushing himself up onto his elbows. Then, realizing how he’d just reacted, he groaned and flopped over onto his back. “Why do you care, anyway?”

“Because we’re roommates,” Logan said.

“So? It’s not like we’re friends.”

That stung, surprisingly. Logan realized that while he found Virgil incredibly pessimistic, his company was not necessarily objectionable. It seemed, though, that Virgil didn’t share his views. 

“Regardless,” Logan said, scowling, “I have to live with you for the next eight months. I may as well try and understand how you function. If coming home to you having a crisis on the floor is going to be a frequent occurrence, I should learn quickly how to handle it.”

“This isn’t a crisis, Logan. Trust me, you’ll know when it’s a crisis.”

Rather than asking for clarification, Logan returned to the original subject. “What happened with the neighbors?”

“You know the hot one?”

Logan tried to determine which of the freshmen in the immediate vicinity would be considered the most conventionally attractive. “Makayla?” he asked.

“Ha ha, Logan.”

Wait, he’d forgotten that Virgil had told him that he was gay. “Uh…Patton?”

“His roommate,” Virgil muttered quietly, in case said neighbors could hear them through the walls. Unlikely, considering that one of the two was playing the Wicked soundtrack at a volume that was far higher than it really needed to be.

“That’s…Roger? Right?”

“Roman. I made a complete fool out of myself in front of him. I’m never going to be able to show my face outside of this dorm again!”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“It’s absolutely that bad. I’m going to have to drop out on Monday.”

“What did you say?”

“I tried to introduce myself. All I had to say was ‘Hi, I’m Virgil Morgan.’ Instead, I ruined everything!”

“…by not introducing yourself?” Really, Logan didn’t see what the big deal was.

“By looking him dead in the eye and saying, 'Hi, I’m Virgin.’” Virgil covered his face with his hands and let out a small groan of agony.

“Well, slips of the tongue are perfectly natural. After you corrected yourself, I’m sure he realized that you just combined the names.”

“I didn’t.”

“Sorry?”

“I didn’t correct myself,” Virgil whispered. “I noped the heck out. I turned right around and went back into the room. And you know the worst part? As I left, his stupid roommate said, 'Looks like he’s Virgin Mobile!’ I’m ruined, Logan. I have to move across the country. There’s no coming back from this!”

“Nonsense,” Logan said, internally rolling his eyes at how dramatic his roommate was. “Just go back over there and explain your mistake. They’ll understand.”

“I caaaan’t!” Virgil whined.

“Fine,” Logan said, standing up. “I’ll do it for you.”

The pitch and volume of Virgil’s “WHAT?!” was higher than anything Logan had anticipated, but Virgil was too slow to stop him. By the time Virgil had gotten off the floor and outside of the dorm, the neighbors had already opened the door. Roman, the taller, bomber-jacket-wearing theatre major was the only one at the door, but Logan could see Patton, who with his polo and khaki shorts could easily be mistaken for a frat boy, in the background turning down the music.

“Hey, Virgin Mobile!” Roman said cheerfully as Virgil hid behind Logan. “You’re back!”

“His name isn’t Virgin Mobile,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses. “It’s Virgil Morgan. He made an error introducing himself to you and was too embarrassed to correct himself, so I came to remedy the situation.”

“We’re glad you came back!” Patton said, poking his head into view behind Roman. “We were worried that you wouldn’t come calling again!”

Logan narrowed his eyes at the continuation of phone-related puns. “Anyway, that’s what I came over for. Hopefully this ridiculous situation can be forgotten now.” Logan turned to leave, noticing how red Virgil’s face was behind the sleeves of his hoodie. Logan thought it was silly that Virgil was still embarrassed. He’d just fixed everything for the kid.

“Wait!” Patton said. “You introduced your friend, but not yourself!”

“We’re not friends, we’re roommates,” Logan said, repeating Virgil’s words from earlier. Virgil flinched.

“Oh,” Patton said, somewhat taken aback by the quick correction. “Roman and I are both.”

“Yeah, we hung out all summer,” Roman said. “Ever since we got notified that we were rooming together.”

“I’m Patton,” he said, pushing past Roman and holding out a hand to shake.

“Logan,” Logan said, returning the handshake.

“You two should come in and hang out!” Patton said. “We can have a whole getting-to-know-the-neighbors thing!”

“Oh, no,” Virgil said, latching onto Logan and trying to pull him away. “We’re actually really--”

“Not doing anything at all,” Logan said, looking sternly at Virgil. He was not about to let Virgil go hide, or drop out, or run away across the country now. “And bad at making friends. We accept.”

“Great!” Patton said, grabbing Logan’s and Virgil’s hands and pulling them inside the dorm. As Roman shut the door behind them, Patton said, “I hope we all become the best of friends!”

~

Next 

#virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #college au #human au #my fics #i wrote this because i was putting off drawing the art that i was doing to put off writing another fic #i'm in procrastination squared #roommates #published: aug 19 2017

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Pick Me Up, Sweetheart

Title: Pick Me Up, Sweetheart Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Keidge Summary: Request for Pidge and Keith swapping lame pick-up lines while making fun of Lance late into the night. Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more. AN: Wanted to post this sooner but due to personal stuff I got a little held up. I’ll be trying to do better about posting here more regularly; for now, enjoy some requests I was able to fill.

They were surprised no one had caught on to them yet, what with how often the situation occurred.

Keith and Pidge tended to gravitate towards being nocturnal to a degree none of the other Paladins could hold a candle to. For Pidge, it was that she’d gotten quite adept at running on five hours of sleep or less so that she could get as much work done as possible. When she’d been on Earth it had been from trying to uncover the secrets of the Garrison and hack their networks, while now it was more in regards to repairing the Lions or helping to develop new technology that could be implemented in combat against the Galra. For Keith, it was much more that he had to stay busy until he was so tired he would crash immediately, else he’d be plagued with nightmares reminding him of all his losses and failures. Long ago he would train and further hone his skills or settle in with a long book, but after he and Pidge bumped into one another in the kitchen one night, he had started joining her in the hanger.

And admittedly, he was grateful for it. Of all the other people on the ship, Pidge was surprisingly the easiest to talk to; next to Shiro, for the most part. She started teaching him some small, basic repairs he could do to Red during an emergency situation to assure they’d be able to at least stay safe long enough to send a distress flare or protect themselves against any immediate threats. In exchange, he helped walk Pidge through some defensive moves that could help her better incapacitate an assailant that had a lot of bulk and height on her. Spending a good chunk of his childhood dealing with much bigger bullies had given him experience that could be a lethal edge to more than just himself, he figured. Most of the time, though, they just ended up swapping stories and making jokes.

Usually their jokes were at the expense of other people. And - like so many times in the past - this time it happened to be Lance.

“I can’t believe you missed it! It was one of the worst instances of secondhand embarrassment I’ve ever gotten from his terrible attempts at flirting!” Pidge cackled, shifting her seat sideways to face Keith better.

He grinned and leaned one elbow against her desk, then rested his chin in that hand and raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh really? He’s really sunken that low?”

“You don’t understand, Keith. It was, like, leagues worse than his usual sad attempts. I don’t know where he even came up with this one!” She insisted.

“Well don’t keep me in suspense; what was this oh-so-terrifically awful pick-up line this time?”

She grinned wider, brown eyes flashing alive excitedly. She sat upright in her seat and shook out her hands, letting out a small breath and shaking her head. He had learned from the past that, when recounting stories, Pidge often liked to get into character. She leaned a bit closer to him with what was probably supposed to be a flirtatious smirk but came off more as her typical smug one. “Oh, baby, is there a magnet in here? Because I am attracted to you,” Pidge said, even tossing in a wink at the end.

One snort escaped Keith before he was doubled over, holding his stomach as he laughed outright. Pidge started out with small giggles but soon dissolved into heartier laughter as well. Lance had honestly said that? Especially considering that the planet they’d just been on involved insect-esque beings that actually used some kind of magnetic system to make their homes and technology, and suddenly there was just an extra level of ridiculous tacked on. “Wow… He planned that one out real well, didn’t he?” He said as he settled back in.

Pidge hummed in agreement, slumping against the back of her chair with a satisfied grin. “I do have to say this one probably takes the cake,” She agreed.

Keith smirked and leaned against her desk again, a thought coming to him. “Oh, I somehow doubt that. This is Lance we’re talking about; his flirting game can hit much further down than that,” He said.

Pidge quirked an eyebrow, intrigued by his comment. “Oh really? How so?”

Keith cleared his throat before reaching up with one hand and sweeping his bangs back and out of his face. He then curled the other around his chin and flashed her a look that was a dead-ringing for the one Lance wore while trying to charm others. “Are you from space? Because that booty is out. Of. This. World,” He said, even adding the same ridiculous airy tone to his voice that Lance did.

Pidge laughed so hard she nearly toppled backwards in her seat, saved by Keith catching one of the arm rests and one of the legs before she could go completely overboard with it. He started cracking up as well, flopping back in his own seat much like Pidge once she was upright again. She wiped at her eyes to rid herself of some stray tears and gently waved one hand. “Oh, wait! Wait! I’ve got one that I could totally see him using!” She said excitedly. She pointed at him with a finger gun and winked. “Am I the piece that finishes your puzzle?”

Keith let out a sharp bark of laughter of his own before managing to get out, “Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

“Is your Daddy a drug dealer? Cause, baby, you’re dope!”

“Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?”

“I used to be able to recite the entire alphabet but now I can’t get past U and I!”

“My love for you is like dividing by zero; it’s undefined!”

“Were you a Boy Scout? Cause you’ve tied my heart in a knot!”

“I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together!”

“Stop, drop, and roll, sweetheart; you’re on fire!”

They continued on like that for a while, trying their best to maintain their composure but losing it completely. Pidge ended up splayed out across her work table and Keith actually toppled out of his own chair, which only resulted in them both laughing even harder. She sat up and let out a long, drawn-out sigh of satisfaction. “Oh man, that was fun, but now I hunger. I’ll be right back with some snacks and drinks; make sure not to pass out on me while I’m gone,” She said with a grin. Once, in the past, Keith had fallen asleep when she’d stepped away for a bit, which had been a mistake. She took a marker to his face and doodled all over him; after all, being close didn’t mean he was free from her pranks and tricks.

“How am I supposed to hold on? I’ve already fallen for you,” Keith said while leaning one elbow against the table and looking at her.

Pidge sat up straight and snickered slightly at him. “Oh, you are smooth, Sir. Maybe Lance should take lessons from you,” She teased, elbowing him playfully before she stood from her seat.

“Yeah, maybe,” Keith answered but there was none of the previous mirth to his tone. She watched him for another moment – wounded that, for the first time in several months, he’d thrown his walls back up – before she huffed a bit and headed for the door. He didn’t say anything else to her as left, but she didn’t expect him to. Once before she’d accidentally touched on the subject of the mother he didn’t know and he’d snapped shut like a clam protecting a pearl.

Once she got into the hallway and the doors slid shut behind her, she let herself slump back against the wall. She scuffed the toe of one sneaker against the tiled flooring of the castle. “Why am I so bad at this?” She mumbled, kicking herself for apparently setting him off. Then again, she shouldn’t be surprised; he probably didn’t want his jokes being compared to Lance’s authentic attempts at flirting.

In the hanger, Keith groaned and slumped against Pidge’s desk, fingers musing through his hair to try and calm him back down. “Why did I think that was going to work? Of course it just came off like me using a stupid line!” He snapped quietly to himself.

#Voltron legendary defender #Keidge #Kidge #Peith #Pidge Gunderson #Keith Kogane #my fics

[saintkimora]

here is how my last date went w joel (once again i have mixed feelings about it) plus how things are going now

so i saw him the other night. i got there and it was him marissa and lindsey as usual but they also had their friends moshe and adiena there. so that was kinda awkward (for me at least). they were all just sitting around talking and moshe and joel were playing mario kart on the switch and then joel made everyone watch like category is, read u wrote u, the s8 and 9 finale lip syncs, and the alyssa edwards drop dead gorgeous mix. it was kinda awkward bc the others werent really into it after the first 2 videos (except marissa legend) so i was getting secondhand embarrassment but it was still fun i guess since i got to sit next to my man

BUT then things took a turn for the worst bc joel made some attempt to include me in the group conversation. i got so sweaty instantly and i was wearing a tank so i was like fuck! nothing to cover it up. so yeah eventually moshe and adiena left and it was just us the 4 sisters again

marissa started vacuuming and lindsey was showing us some books she has. then they both went to their rooms and it was just me and joel. he said chris was still in his room playing tekken 7 on his ps4 and he didnt wanna kick him out yet so we stayed in the living room and he made me watch the great british bake off with him and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring omg like this is what yall call a competition? it was not intense at ALL literally flop shows only

then eventually we went into his room and he kicked chris out (after playing one round w him) so it was just us. this is where the date got enjoyable

one of the things he did was he started talking to me about his opinions on like race and stuff currently in america. and his opinions were all p good except for a few so that was fine. it was nice i guess to have like a serious convo w him i guess

THEN he referenced something from his childhood and i didnt know what it was obv so he was like “ive never told you the story of my childhood??” so he told me and oh my gosh it was so SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD omg im not gonna put all his business on here but it was such a sad story and i felt so bad for him and i wished i met him years ago so i couldve been there for him through all of it. but yeah it was v unfortunate i was like shocked like he seriously could not catch a break and he explained to me how the things from back then affect him to this day w like his anxiety for example and yeah. like obv i wasnt happy to hear about all those sad things but i was happy that he told me bc it made me feel closer to him

now for the part i DIDNT like. so at one point he somehow tried to talk to me about what celebrities and porn stars we think are hot. i did not want to have this conversation bc it feels pointless for me bc i dont keep up w celebrities and plus like the guy im with is always the #1 hottest guy for me so i dont feel the need to lust after celebs and porn stars. but whatever he was insistent on talking about this so we did. and the part that made me feel :/ was that none of the guys looked like me. like literally all the celebrities and porn stars he listed literally looked NOTHING like me whatsoever. like i didnt have a SINGLE thing in common w any of these guys. so to hear him going on and on about how hot these guys are and how they could have him any day and stuff was just kinda deflating to me bc they were all like the complete opposite of me in terms of looks. like they were all super buff daddy types and i have like 0 muscles and i dont really have strong chiseled features either. like i know im prob being oversensitive/too competitive but idk it just made me uncomfortable

and then when i told him all my faves it was different bc he did have a lot in common w all the guys i mentioned. he was like “im noticing a pattern here” and hes right, like if i did have a “”type” he would probably be it. i personally dont like talking about hot guys w any guy im currently with bc for me its like if the guy im with is all heart eyes emoji about another guys looks then obv im gonna look at this guy and compare myself to him which is not something i want to do since most of the time the other guys have me beat. so i dont bring up guys i find hot for the same reason bc i wouldnt want the guy im with to feel insecure or inadequate or contribute to a negative body image or something. i know not all people think like this and lots of people are perfectly fine w admiring other guys w their s/o but for me its just not something i like to do

so that was the worst part. it made me feel kinda empty the next day (in the moment it wasnt as bad, it was uncomfortable but it wasnt until later that i realized that i really did not look like these guys at all). actually i think this convo happened before the childhood convo. but anyways after all those convos that is when we fooled around

so this time it was fun! first he had me teasing his hole w my dick. its mildy pleasant to me but he like loves it lol. then he did the same to me but his dick was like lubed up from when i was jerking him off beforehand and it really felt like his dick was THIS close to slipping into my hole omg i was nervous i was like if he moves his hips slightly too much im literally gonna lose my virginity LMAO but it was still fun! he ended up cumming on my hole which i honestly didnt mind bc it was easier to clean since its less surface area than say my stomach or something

then i jerked myself off while he kissed me and played w my nipples and stuff since thats still my preferred way to cum. it was nice and then we showered together afterwards. and i forgot to mention it but a few dates ago we showered together for the first time which was super fun!! that time i sucked/jerked him off in the shower until he came. this time we had already cum so we just cleaned ourselves 

then we went to sleep. we woke up and got ready and i got to see him eat breakfast! he had cereal and he looked soooooooo cute omg and then we left his apartment together, then parted ways bc i had to go to my car and he was going to the bus stop down the street. he left bc he is visiting his family back home bc he needs to get some documents to do something for fafsa and he wont be back until wednesday. and i leave on thursday so rip we just have one more chance to see each other 

so that was that! also on the date before that we played this really fun game together called lovers in a dangerous spacetime and i had so much fun! omg we were such gaymers

so yeah thats it! one more date before we have to be apart for a month. im really sad about it actually like ive been getting really emotional over it. like im gonna miss him but also hes kinda going through a difficult time in his life right now and it makes me feel really bad that i wont be able to be there for him in person when he needs me. and ofc im still worried he might meet someone else, like a month is a long time so its v possible for him to forget/lose interest and try to find a new man instead. and these gay apps are location based obv so he could be reinstalling grindr or something and i would have no idea since im so many miles away!!! i doubt he would but again i didnt think caleb would do that either and i was wrong on that so im not trusting my own judgment anymore

im gonna try to enjoy greece but im gonna miss him a LOT and i just hope hes able to hold himself together while im gone since i wont be here to comfort him since im gonna be on another continent. if he does meet someone else im gonna be really sad about it but i am gonna try to be optimistic about it and ill still be able to text him like every day so its gonna suck but it could be worse i guess

#personal

[shotbydalonewolf]

my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewer’s wife is telling people about my job search

I recently came across a job positing for a position I had interviewed for seven years ago. I made it through three rounds of interviews and in the end did not get the job. I was crushed at the time. I came across the same listing this year, and couldn’t resist applying again. Once again, I made it through several rounds of interviews but in the end was not selected for the position. It was disappointing, and I am trying my best not to take the rejection top personally.

This morning a coworker of mine let slip that at her bookclub on Friday, the interviewer’s wife had shared with her that I applied and interviewed for the job but did not get the position. She said “I probably shouldn’t say…” and then proceeded to tell my coworker my entire history of applying and interviewing with this company. I am frustrated because I have not been open with my employer about the fact that I interviewed for another job. I am not set on leaving my current position, but I jumped at the chance to work for this company. Furthermore, it’s a little embarrassing to have my coworker know I was rejected for this position twice. I’m not sitting at home crying about the rejection, but it’s really the last thing I want to talk about. I am ready to move on.

Should I reach out to my former interviewer to ask him politely to not discuss my interview with others? I made it clear in my interview that if I was hired, I would need time to tactfully exit from my current position, and it was indicated in my rejection that my request to take proper time to leave my current position was part of the reason I was not hired (they needed an applicant who could start immediately.) I asked my coworker not to share this with my boss, but I’m worried his wife may tell other people in our shared network (it’s a small town.)

Wow, yes. It’s one thing for people to talk about work in confidence with a spouse, but your interviewer probably has no idea that his wife is blabbing about it to other people.

I’d email the interviewer and say something like this: “As you know, I’m concerned about keeping my conversations with you discreet. I was taken aback today when a colleague told me that she’d heard about my interview process with you from your wife, who she apparently shares a social activity with. She then went on to share with me numerous details that she said your wife had relayed to her. I hope you can understand how stunned I am about this; this has the potential to jeopardize my current employment. I’m not sure what can be done at this point, but I wanted to make you aware of what happened and ask that you ensure nothing further is shared.”

2. Should I intervene in my husband’s coworker’s marriage?

My husband works in a sales environment and is well liked and respected. Many of his coworkers tell him stories about their weekends, social events, etc. There is one married coworker who told my husband that he tried to make out with the much younger receptionist at a social work function on the weekend. There was a lot of alcohol involved, but I feel some sort of responsibility to tell his wife.

It would be anonymous if I were to tell her — email or Facebook message under a different name as I do not want to put my husband in the middle. I know many people might say that for something so small, why would you want to ruin their marriage or upset his wife, it’s not my business, etc. But a few months later, the married coworker left his job at the company my husband works at to take a higher up position with a different company and he asked the receptionist to come with him and he hired her there. Now they see each other daily and I am 100% sure he hired her to pursue her. This married coworker does have a history of openly hitting on, flirting, and being inappropriate with other women behind his wife’s back. What should I do?

You’re too many degrees removed from this to be in a position to intervene. You’re hearing this secondhand about people you don’t know personally.

When your husband first told you, ideally you would have pushed him to intervene — at a minimum by telling the guy to knock it off, but also possibly by reporting it to someone above him. (If your husband is a manager, he has an obligation to report sexual harassment that he hears about. And assuming the guy’s conduct wasn’t welcome to the receptionist, that’s harassment territory.) It’s probably too late for that now that the coworker has left the company, but if your husband still hangs out with this guy, you should encourage him to tell him to cut this crap out.

But this is all stuff for your husband to do, not you. You’re not close enough to the situation yourself.

3. My date to the office Christmas party is … a coworker

The small regional office for the big company I work for has a lot of people from different teams all thrown together in the same space. Two years ago, a colleague on a completely different team and I started dating (it’s going very well, we’ve moved in together!). We immediately made a “professional behavior at the office” rule and we have been very good at following it.

But I’m not sure how to act at the Christmas party, which is off-site and more relaxed and every one is bringing their partners. It’s not a secret that we’re together, but it’s possible that many people in the office don’t know 1) we’re dating or 2) that he’s not with his previous partner anymore.

I doubt anything we can do could stop people from talking. How can I conduct myself at the party and feel good about my behavior? What’s the right mix of professional and not hiding the fact that we’re together?

Assuming you’re not going to be engaging in PDA* at the party, it’s possible that a lot of people won’t even realize that you’re there together. They’ll just see … two coworkers.

So what’s more likely is that someone might ask whether you’re there with a date or not, at which point you can say, “Actually, Falcon and I came together.” And actually, even that doesn’t clearly saying “we’re dating,” so if you want to use this as a coming-out of sorts, you could be clearer about it: “I’m here with Falcon. We’ve actually moved in together.”

* Of course, it’s possible that they might see other signs — not PDA stuff, but like your hand on his back or something else minor but that you wouldn’t normally do with a coworker. I don’t think you have to worry about hiding those things. That’s how a lot of people figure out coworkers are dating. I hear you on worrying that they might not know he’s not still with his previous partner, but they’ll presumably put it together if you’re being open and normal about it (as opposed to making out on the copier or shooting each other furtive “let’s sex it up as soon as we get home” looks and so forth).

4. Explaining Parkinson’s tremors in work meetings

I’ve recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It’s a bit of an atypical presentation in that I don’t (yet at least) have the characteristic tremor most people associate with the disorder. It’s also a bit atypical due to my age (I’m in my early 40s.) I do have a visible symptom — as a side effect of the medication I take, I have “dyskenesia,” where both my right arm and leg move involuntarily. It peaks at predictable times following my medication dose.

My issue is that it’s pretty noticeable at work. I have a relatively senior meeting-heavy job which requires me to look presentable, put together, and generally on top of things. Sitting in a chair during meetings, I don’t really have any way to hide the extraneous movements. Even if my leg is under the table, someone sitting across from me can tell (it looks like I’m fidgeting), and my right arm, all the way to the shoulder, is pretty much constantly moving at its worst. Several people have asked me if I’m okay, but mostly I’m concerned that I look nervous or distracted to everyone at the table and they just don’t say anything. (And in fact I am distracted as I’m trying to force myself not to move, which helps a bit but doesn’t make it stop completely.) I’m worried that these movements make me seem less competent or just generally less professional.

Since the symptoms are heavily timed to the medication dose, I do have some level of control over when they show up. But I have to take the medication every four hours during the day (without it I’m very stiff and have trouble walking and typing), and it’s really difficult to manage properly if I try to shift the dosage times. I can shift the times to minimize symptoms for really important one-hour meetings on specific days but that’s not really feasible on an ongoing basis or when I have longer commitments. (Full-day meetings are pretty common in my environment.)

A few people at work know I’ve been dealing with some movement issues for a while, and a small number know the whole story, but most either don’t know anything at all or have just heard vague rumors. I’m often also meeting with people from other departments that wouldn’t have a reason to know about my health issues, and in these cases it’s even more critical that I seem competent and at ease, as in these cases I’m generally trying to get agreement to do something collaboratively or pitching some kind of other type of interaction and need to be seen as a good person to work with.

I get so nervous about this that more than once I’ve just blurted out a confession about my condition because I was concerned how I was coming across. I definitely don’t think that’s a good solution, but I’m having trouble coming up with something else. I fear just pretending it’s not happening is reducing my effectiveness, but I also don’t want to be vague and mysterious. Any advice on how I could deal with this in a productive way?

I think you’ll feel much better if you say something! It doesn’t have to be the full story if you don’t want it to be, but there are a few things you could say that would explain what’s happening so that people aren’t worried or trying to fill in details on their own.

For example, you could say, “I might look like I’m fidgeting or moving strangely during this meeting — it’s a side effect of a medication, so please don’t worry.” Or “I’m dealing with some health issues involving nerves, so you may notice some involuntary movements — I hope it’s not distracting.” Or “I have a condition that’s causing a tremor — please don’t worry if you notice it.”

Basically, address it up-front or as it happens to whatever extent you’re comfortable with. You’ll probably feel better knowing that people aren’t wondering what’s going on, and they’ll feel better knowing that whatever it is, there’s an explanation and you’re on top of it.

5. Responding to a reference request from an old friend who I’ve fallen out with

An old friend and former colleague applied to the state bar. He’s a new attorney and just started working for a firm. I received a link from the bar association, with directions on how to respond to standard questions about him and write several paragraphs about him, how long and how well I knew him, and what I think of his character and why I think he should be admitted. The thing is, he’s not been friendly or accessible in a long time. He’s actually made quite a few bad impressions the last few times we interacted, and he did not even reach out to me to ask if he could submit my name/email as a personal or professional reference. How should I have responded?

If he had just been out of touch for a while, that’s not something you should hold against him when giving a reference. It would be pretty awful to do that to someone you describe as an old friend. But if you actually have a bad opinion of him now, which seems like it might be the case, that’s a different thing. In that case, it would be perfectly reasonable to simply not respond, or to contact him and let him know that you don’t feel like you’re well-positioned to give a recommendation.

If you had serious concerns about his ethics or integrity, the other option would be fill out the questionnaire honestly, of course. But I don’t think that’s what you’re saying here.

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my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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[s-kinnyheaven]

my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewer’s wife is telling people about my job search

I recently came across a job positing for a position I had interviewed for seven years ago. I made it through three rounds of interviews and in the end did not get the job. I was crushed at the time. I came across the same listing this year, and couldn’t resist applying again. Once again, I made it through several rounds of interviews but in the end was not selected for the position. It was disappointing, and I am trying my best not to take the rejection top personally.

This morning a coworker of mine let slip that at her bookclub on Friday, the interviewer’s wife had shared with her that I applied and interviewed for the job but did not get the position. She said “I probably shouldn’t say…” and then proceeded to tell my coworker my entire history of applying and interviewing with this company. I am frustrated because I have not been open with my employer about the fact that I interviewed for another job. I am not set on leaving my current position, but I jumped at the chance to work for this company. Furthermore, it’s a little embarrassing to have my coworker know I was rejected for this position twice. I’m not sitting at home crying about the rejection, but it’s really the last thing I want to talk about. I am ready to move on.

Should I reach out to my former interviewer to ask him politely to not discuss my interview with others? I made it clear in my interview that if I was hired, I would need time to tactfully exit from my current position, and it was indicated in my rejection that my request to take proper time to leave my current position was part of the reason I was not hired (they needed an applicant who could start immediately.) I asked my coworker not to share this with my boss, but I’m worried his wife may tell other people in our shared network (it’s a small town.)

Wow, yes. It’s one thing for people to talk about work in confidence with a spouse, but your interviewer probably has no idea that his wife is blabbing about it to other people.

I’d email the interviewer and say something like this: “As you know, I’m concerned about keeping my conversations with you discreet. I was taken aback today when a colleague told me that she’d heard about my interview process with you from your wife, who she apparently shares a social activity with. She then went on to share with me numerous details that she said your wife had relayed to her. I hope you can understand how stunned I am about this; this has the potential to jeopardize my current employment. I’m not sure what can be done at this point, but I wanted to make you aware of what happened and ask that you ensure nothing further is shared.”

2. Should I intervene in my husband’s coworker’s marriage?

My husband works in a sales environment and is well liked and respected. Many of his coworkers tell him stories about their weekends, social events, etc. There is one married coworker who told my husband that he tried to make out with the much younger receptionist at a social work function on the weekend. There was a lot of alcohol involved, but I feel some sort of responsibility to tell his wife.

It would be anonymous if I were to tell her — email or Facebook message under a different name as I do not want to put my husband in the middle. I know many people might say that for something so small, why would you want to ruin their marriage or upset his wife, it’s not my business, etc. But a few months later, the married coworker left his job at the company my husband works at to take a higher up position with a different company and he asked the receptionist to come with him and he hired her there. Now they see each other daily and I am 100% sure he hired her to pursue her. This married coworker does have a history of openly hitting on, flirting, and being inappropriate with other women behind his wife’s back. What should I do?

You’re too many degrees removed from this to be in a position to intervene. You’re hearing this secondhand about people you don’t know personally.

When your husband first told you, ideally you would have pushed him to intervene — at a minimum by telling the guy to knock it off, but also possibly by reporting it to someone above him. (If your husband is a manager, he has an obligation to report sexual harassment that he hears about. And assuming the guy’s conduct wasn’t welcome to the receptionist, that’s harassment territory.) It’s probably too late for that now that the coworker has left the company, but if your husband still hangs out with this guy, you should encourage him to tell him to cut this crap out.

But this is all stuff for your husband to do, not you. You’re not close enough to the situation yourself.

3. My date to the office Christmas party is … a coworker

The small regional office for the big company I work for has a lot of people from different teams all thrown together in the same space. Two years ago, a colleague on a completely different team and I started dating (it’s going very well, we’ve moved in together!). We immediately made a “professional behavior at the office” rule and we have been very good at following it.

But I’m not sure how to act at the Christmas party, which is off-site and more relaxed and every one is bringing their partners. It’s not a secret that we’re together, but it’s possible that many people in the office don’t know 1) we’re dating or 2) that he’s not with his previous partner anymore.

I doubt anything we can do could stop people from talking. How can I conduct myself at the party and feel good about my behavior? What’s the right mix of professional and not hiding the fact that we’re together?

Assuming you’re not going to be engaging in PDA* at the party, it’s possible that a lot of people won’t even realize that you’re there together. They’ll just see … two coworkers.

So what’s more likely is that someone might ask whether you’re there with a date or not, at which point you can say, “Actually, Falcon and I came together.” And actually, even that doesn’t clearly saying “we’re dating,” so if you want to use this as a coming-out of sorts, you could be clearer about it: “I’m here with Falcon. We’ve actually moved in together.”

* Of course, it’s possible that they might see other signs — not PDA stuff, but like your hand on his back or something else minor but that you wouldn’t normally do with a coworker. I don’t think you have to worry about hiding those things. That’s how a lot of people figure out coworkers are dating. I hear you on worrying that they might not know he’s not still with his previous partner, but they’ll presumably put it together if you’re being open and normal about it (as opposed to making out on the copier or shooting each other furtive “let’s sex it up as soon as we get home” looks and so forth).

4. Explaining Parkinson’s tremors in work meetings

I’ve recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It’s a bit of an atypical presentation in that I don’t (yet at least) have the characteristic tremor most people associate with the disorder. It’s also a bit atypical due to my age (I’m in my early 40s.) I do have a visible symptom — as a side effect of the medication I take, I have “dyskenesia,” where both my right arm and leg move involuntarily. It peaks at predictable times following my medication dose.

My issue is that it’s pretty noticeable at work. I have a relatively senior meeting-heavy job which requires me to look presentable, put together, and generally on top of things. Sitting in a chair during meetings, I don’t really have any way to hide the extraneous movements. Even if my leg is under the table, someone sitting across from me can tell (it looks like I’m fidgeting), and my right arm, all the way to the shoulder, is pretty much constantly moving at its worst. Several people have asked me if I’m okay, but mostly I’m concerned that I look nervous or distracted to everyone at the table and they just don’t say anything. (And in fact I am distracted as I’m trying to force myself not to move, which helps a bit but doesn’t make it stop completely.) I’m worried that these movements make me seem less competent or just generally less professional.

Since the symptoms are heavily timed to the medication dose, I do have some level of control over when they show up. But I have to take the medication every four hours during the day (without it I’m very stiff and have trouble walking and typing), and it’s really difficult to manage properly if I try to shift the dosage times. I can shift the times to minimize symptoms for really important one-hour meetings on specific days but that’s not really feasible on an ongoing basis or when I have longer commitments. (Full-day meetings are pretty common in my environment.)

A few people at work know I’ve been dealing with some movement issues for a while, and a small number know the whole story, but most either don’t know anything at all or have just heard vague rumors. I’m often also meeting with people from other departments that wouldn’t have a reason to know about my health issues, and in these cases it’s even more critical that I seem competent and at ease, as in these cases I’m generally trying to get agreement to do something collaboratively or pitching some kind of other type of interaction and need to be seen as a good person to work with.

I get so nervous about this that more than once I’ve just blurted out a confession about my condition because I was concerned how I was coming across. I definitely don’t think that’s a good solution, but I’m having trouble coming up with something else. I fear just pretending it’s not happening is reducing my effectiveness, but I also don’t want to be vague and mysterious. Any advice on how I could deal with this in a productive way?

I think you’ll feel much better if you say something! It doesn’t have to be the full story if you don’t want it to be, but there are a few things you could say that would explain what’s happening so that people aren’t worried or trying to fill in details on their own.

For example, you could say, “I might look like I’m fidgeting or moving strangely during this meeting — it’s a side effect of a medication, so please don’t worry.” Or “I’m dealing with some health issues involving nerves, so you may notice some involuntary movements — I hope it’s not distracting.” Or “I have a condition that’s causing a tremor — please don’t worry if you notice it.”

Basically, address it up-front or as it happens to whatever extent you’re comfortable with. You’ll probably feel better knowing that people aren’t wondering what’s going on, and they’ll feel better knowing that whatever it is, there’s an explanation and you’re on top of it.

5. Responding to a reference request from an old friend who I’ve fallen out with

An old friend and former colleague applied to the state bar. He’s a new attorney and just started working for a firm. I received a link from the bar association, with directions on how to respond to standard questions about him and write several paragraphs about him, how long and how well I knew him, and what I think of his character and why I think he should be admitted. The thing is, he’s not been friendly or accessible in a long time. He’s actually made quite a few bad impressions the last few times we interacted, and he did not even reach out to me to ask if he could submit my name/email as a personal or professional reference. How should I have responded?

If he had just been out of touch for a while, that’s not something you should hold against him when giving a reference. It would be pretty awful to do that to someone you describe as an old friend. But if you actually have a bad opinion of him now, which seems like it might be the case, that’s a different thing. In that case, it would be perfectly reasonable to simply not respond, or to contact him and let him know that you don’t feel like you’re well-positioned to give a recommendation.

If you had serious concerns about his ethics or integrity, the other option would be fill out the questionnaire honestly, of course. But I don’t think that’s what you’re saying here.

You may also like:

update: my coworker kissed me and now his wife is emailing me

ask the readers: my business partner’s wife corners people at events and won’t stop talking

my coworker used a racial slur at our boss’s home

my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703 http://ift.tt/2klh1Zp via IFTTT

#IFTTT #RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703

[shmow-zows]

my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewer’s wife is telling people about my job search

I recently came across a job positing for a position I had interviewed for seven years ago. I made it through three rounds of interviews and in the end did not get the job. I was crushed at the time. I came across the same listing this year, and couldn’t resist applying again. Once again, I made it through several rounds of interviews but in the end was not selected for the position. It was disappointing, and I am trying my best not to take the rejection top personally.

This morning a coworker of mine let slip that at her bookclub on Friday, the interviewer’s wife had shared with her that I applied and interviewed for the job but did not get the position. She said “I probably shouldn’t say…” and then proceeded to tell my coworker my entire history of applying and interviewing with this company. I am frustrated because I have not been open with my employer about the fact that I interviewed for another job. I am not set on leaving my current position, but I jumped at the chance to work for this company. Furthermore, it’s a little embarrassing to have my coworker know I was rejected for this position twice. I’m not sitting at home crying about the rejection, but it’s really the last thing I want to talk about. I am ready to move on.

Should I reach out to my former interviewer to ask him politely to not discuss my interview with others? I made it clear in my interview that if I was hired, I would need time to tactfully exit from my current position, and it was indicated in my rejection that my request to take proper time to leave my current position was part of the reason I was not hired (they needed an applicant who could start immediately.) I asked my coworker not to share this with my boss, but I’m worried his wife may tell other people in our shared network (it’s a small town.)

Wow, yes. It’s one thing for people to talk about work in confidence with a spouse, but your interviewer probably has no idea that his wife is blabbing about it to other people.

I’d email the interviewer and say something like this: “As you know, I’m concerned about keeping my conversations with you discreet. I was taken aback today when a colleague told me that she’d heard about my interview process with you from your wife, who she apparently shares a social activity with. She then went on to share with me numerous details that she said your wife had relayed to her. I hope you can understand how stunned I am about this; this has the potential to jeopardize my current employment. I’m not sure what can be done at this point, but I wanted to make you aware of what happened and ask that you ensure nothing further is shared.”

2. Should I intervene in my husband’s coworker’s marriage?

My husband works in a sales environment and is well liked and respected. Many of his coworkers tell him stories about their weekends, social events, etc. There is one married coworker who told my husband that he tried to make out with the much younger receptionist at a social work function on the weekend. There was a lot of alcohol involved, but I feel some sort of responsibility to tell his wife.

It would be anonymous if I were to tell her — email or Facebook message under a different name as I do not want to put my husband in the middle. I know many people might say that for something so small, why would you want to ruin their marriage or upset his wife, it’s not my business, etc. But a few months later, the married coworker left his job at the company my husband works at to take a higher up position with a different company and he asked the receptionist to come with him and he hired her there. Now they see each other daily and I am 100% sure he hired her to pursue her. This married coworker does have a history of openly hitting on, flirting, and being inappropriate with other women behind his wife’s back. What should I do?

You’re too many degrees removed from this to be in a position to intervene. You’re hearing this secondhand about people you don’t know personally.

When your husband first told you, ideally you would have pushed him to intervene — at a minimum by telling the guy to knock it off, but also possibly by reporting it to someone above him. (If your husband is a manager, he has an obligation to report sexual harassment that he hears about. And assuming the guy’s conduct wasn’t welcome to the receptionist, that’s harassment territory.) It’s probably too late for that now that the coworker has left the company, but if your husband still hangs out with this guy, you should encourage him to tell him to cut this crap out.

But this is all stuff for your husband to do, not you. You’re not close enough to the situation yourself.

3. My date to the office Christmas party is … a coworker

The small regional office for the big company I work for has a lot of people from different teams all thrown together in the same space. Two years ago, a colleague on a completely different team and I started dating (it’s going very well, we’ve moved in together!). We immediately made a “professional behavior at the office” rule and we have been very good at following it.

But I’m not sure how to act at the Christmas party, which is off-site and more relaxed and every one is bringing their partners. It’s not a secret that we’re together, but it’s possible that many people in the office don’t know 1) we’re dating or 2) that he’s not with his previous partner anymore.

I doubt anything we can do could stop people from talking. How can I conduct myself at the party and feel good about my behavior? What’s the right mix of professional and not hiding the fact that we’re together?

Assuming you’re not going to be engaging in PDA* at the party, it’s possible that a lot of people won’t even realize that you’re there together. They’ll just see … two coworkers.

So what’s more likely is that someone might ask whether you’re there with a date or not, at which point you can say, “Actually, Falcon and I came together.” And actually, even that doesn’t clearly saying “we’re dating,” so if you want to use this as a coming-out of sorts, you could be clearer about it: “I’m here with Falcon. We’ve actually moved in together.”

* Of course, it’s possible that they might see other signs — not PDA stuff, but like your hand on his back or something else minor but that you wouldn’t normally do with a coworker. I don’t think you have to worry about hiding those things. That’s how a lot of people figure out coworkers are dating. I hear you on worrying that they might not know he’s not still with his previous partner, but they’ll presumably put it together if you’re being open and normal about it (as opposed to making out on the copier or shooting each other furtive “let’s sex it up as soon as we get home” looks and so forth).

4. Explaining Parkinson’s tremors in work meetings

I’ve recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It’s a bit of an atypical presentation in that I don’t (yet at least) have the characteristic tremor most people associate with the disorder. It’s also a bit atypical due to my age (I’m in my early 40s.) I do have a visible symptom — as a side effect of the medication I take, I have “dyskenesia,” where both my right arm and leg move involuntarily. It peaks at predictable times following my medication dose.

My issue is that it’s pretty noticeable at work. I have a relatively senior meeting-heavy job which requires me to look presentable, put together, and generally on top of things. Sitting in a chair during meetings, I don’t really have any way to hide the extraneous movements. Even if my leg is under the table, someone sitting across from me can tell (it looks like I’m fidgeting), and my right arm, all the way to the shoulder, is pretty much constantly moving at its worst. Several people have asked me if I’m okay, but mostly I’m concerned that I look nervous or distracted to everyone at the table and they just don’t say anything. (And in fact I am distracted as I’m trying to force myself not to move, which helps a bit but doesn’t make it stop completely.) I’m worried that these movements make me seem less competent or just generally less professional.

Since the symptoms are heavily timed to the medication dose, I do have some level of control over when they show up. But I have to take the medication every four hours during the day (without it I’m very stiff and have trouble walking and typing), and it’s really difficult to manage properly if I try to shift the dosage times. I can shift the times to minimize symptoms for really important one-hour meetings on specific days but that’s not really feasible on an ongoing basis or when I have longer commitments. (Full-day meetings are pretty common in my environment.)

A few people at work know I’ve been dealing with some movement issues for a while, and a small number know the whole story, but most either don’t know anything at all or have just heard vague rumors. I’m often also meeting with people from other departments that wouldn’t have a reason to know about my health issues, and in these cases it’s even more critical that I seem competent and at ease, as in these cases I’m generally trying to get agreement to do something collaboratively or pitching some kind of other type of interaction and need to be seen as a good person to work with.

I get so nervous about this that more than once I’ve just blurted out a confession about my condition because I was concerned how I was coming across. I definitely don’t think that’s a good solution, but I’m having trouble coming up with something else. I fear just pretending it’s not happening is reducing my effectiveness, but I also don’t want to be vague and mysterious. Any advice on how I could deal with this in a productive way?

I think you’ll feel much better if you say something! It doesn’t have to be the full story if you don’t want it to be, but there are a few things you could say that would explain what’s happening so that people aren’t worried or trying to fill in details on their own.

For example, you could say, “I might look like I’m fidgeting or moving strangely during this meeting — it’s a side effect of a medication, so please don’t worry.” Or “I’m dealing with some health issues involving nerves, so you may notice some involuntary movements — I hope it’s not distracting.” Or “I have a condition that’s causing a tremor — please don’t worry if you notice it.”

Basically, address it up-front or as it happens to whatever extent you’re comfortable with. You’ll probably feel better knowing that people aren’t wondering what’s going on, and they’ll feel better knowing that whatever it is, there’s an explanation and you’re on top of it.

5. Responding to a reference request from an old friend who I’ve fallen out with

An old friend and former colleague applied to the state bar. He’s a new attorney and just started working for a firm. I received a link from the bar association, with directions on how to respond to standard questions about him and write several paragraphs about him, how long and how well I knew him, and what I think of his character and why I think he should be admitted. The thing is, he’s not been friendly or accessible in a long time. He’s actually made quite a few bad impressions the last few times we interacted, and he did not even reach out to me to ask if he could submit my name/email as a personal or professional reference. How should I have responded?

If he had just been out of touch for a while, that’s not something you should hold against him when giving a reference. It would be pretty awful to do that to someone you describe as an old friend. But if you actually have a bad opinion of him now, which seems like it might be the case, that’s a different thing. In that case, it would be perfectly reasonable to simply not respond, or to contact him and let him know that you don’t feel like you’re well-positioned to give a recommendation.

If you had serious concerns about his ethics or integrity, the other option would be fill out the questionnaire honestly, of course. But I don’t think that’s what you’re saying here.

You may also like:

update: my coworker kissed me and now his wife is emailing me

ask the readers: my business partner’s wife corners people at events and won’t stop talking

my coworker used a racial slur at our boss’s home

my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703 http://ift.tt/2klh1Zp via IFTTT

#IFTTT #RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703

[wanderingfound]

my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewer’s wife is telling people about my job search

I recently came across a job positing for a position I had interviewed for seven years ago. I made it through three rounds of interviews and in the end did not get the job. I was crushed at the time. I came across the same listing this year, and couldn’t resist applying again. Once again, I made it through several rounds of interviews but in the end was not selected for the position. It was disappointing, and I am trying my best not to take the rejection top personally.

This morning a coworker of mine let slip that at her bookclub on Friday, the interviewer’s wife had shared with her that I applied and interviewed for the job but did not get the position. She said “I probably shouldn’t say…” and then proceeded to tell my coworker my entire history of applying and interviewing with this company. I am frustrated because I have not been open with my employer about the fact that I interviewed for another job. I am not set on leaving my current position, but I jumped at the chance to work for this company. Furthermore, it’s a little embarrassing to have my coworker know I was rejected for this position twice. I’m not sitting at home crying about the rejection, but it’s really the last thing I want to talk about. I am ready to move on.

Should I reach out to my former interviewer to ask him politely to not discuss my interview with others? I made it clear in my interview that if I was hired, I would need time to tactfully exit from my current position, and it was indicated in my rejection that my request to take proper time to leave my current position was part of the reason I was not hired (they needed an applicant who could start immediately.) I asked my coworker not to share this with my boss, but I’m worried his wife may tell other people in our shared network (it’s a small town.)

Wow, yes. It’s one thing for people to talk about work in confidence with a spouse, but your interviewer probably has no idea that his wife is blabbing about it to other people.

I’d email the interviewer and say something like this: “As you know, I’m concerned about keeping my conversations with you discreet. I was taken aback today when a colleague told me that she’d heard about my interview process with you from your wife, who she apparently shares a social activity with. She then went on to share with me numerous details that she said your wife had relayed to her. I hope you can understand how stunned I am about this; this has the potential to jeopardize my current employment. I’m not sure what can be done at this point, but I wanted to make you aware of what happened and ask that you ensure nothing further is shared.”

2. Should I intervene in my husband’s coworker’s marriage?

My husband works in a sales environment and is well liked and respected. Many of his coworkers tell him stories about their weekends, social events, etc. There is one married coworker who told my husband that he tried to make out with the much younger receptionist at a social work function on the weekend. There was a lot of alcohol involved, but I feel some sort of responsibility to tell his wife.

It would be anonymous if I were to tell her — email or Facebook message under a different name as I do not want to put my husband in the middle. I know many people might say that for something so small, why would you want to ruin their marriage or upset his wife, it’s not my business, etc. But a few months later, the married coworker left his job at the company my husband works at to take a higher up position with a different company and he asked the receptionist to come with him and he hired her there. Now they see each other daily and I am 100% sure he hired her to pursue her. This married coworker does have a history of openly hitting on, flirting, and being inappropriate with other women behind his wife’s back. What should I do?

You’re too many degrees removed from this to be in a position to intervene. You’re hearing this secondhand about people you don’t know personally.

When your husband first told you, ideally you would have pushed him to intervene — at a minimum by telling the guy to knock it off, but also possibly by reporting it to someone above him. (If your husband is a manager, he has an obligation to report sexual harassment that he hears about. And assuming the guy’s conduct wasn’t welcome to the receptionist, that’s harassment territory.) It’s probably too late for that now that the coworker has left the company, but if your husband still hangs out with this guy, you should encourage him to tell him to cut this crap out.

But this is all stuff for your husband to do, not you. You’re not close enough to the situation yourself.

3. My date to the office Christmas party is … a coworker

The small regional office for the big company I work for has a lot of people from different teams all thrown together in the same space. Two years ago, a colleague on a completely different team and I started dating (it’s going very well, we’ve moved in together!). We immediately made a “professional behavior at the office” rule and we have been very good at following it.

But I’m not sure how to act at the Christmas party, which is off-site and more relaxed and every one is bringing their partners. It’s not a secret that we’re together, but it’s possible that many people in the office don’t know 1) we’re dating or 2) that he’s not with his previous partner anymore.

I doubt anything we can do could stop people from talking. How can I conduct myself at the party and feel good about my behavior? What’s the right mix of professional and not hiding the fact that we’re together?

Assuming you’re not going to be engaging in PDA* at the party, it’s possible that a lot of people won’t even realize that you’re there together. They’ll just see … two coworkers.

So what’s more likely is that someone might ask whether you’re there with a date or not, at which point you can say, “Actually, Falcon and I came together.” And actually, even that doesn’t clearly saying “we’re dating,” so if you want to use this as a coming-out of sorts, you could be clearer about it: “I’m here with Falcon. We’ve actually moved in together.”

* Of course, it’s possible that they might see other signs — not PDA stuff, but like your hand on his back or something else minor but that you wouldn’t normally do with a coworker. I don’t think you have to worry about hiding those things. That’s how a lot of people figure out coworkers are dating. I hear you on worrying that they might not know he’s not still with his previous partner, but they’ll presumably put it together if you’re being open and normal about it (as opposed to making out on the copier or shooting each other furtive “let’s sex it up as soon as we get home” looks and so forth).

4. Explaining Parkinson’s tremors in work meetings

I’ve recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It’s a bit of an atypical presentation in that I don’t (yet at least) have the characteristic tremor most people associate with the disorder. It’s also a bit atypical due to my age (I’m in my early 40s.) I do have a visible symptom — as a side effect of the medication I take, I have “dyskenesia,” where both my right arm and leg move involuntarily. It peaks at predictable times following my medication dose.

My issue is that it’s pretty noticeable at work. I have a relatively senior meeting-heavy job which requires me to look presentable, put together, and generally on top of things. Sitting in a chair during meetings, I don’t really have any way to hide the extraneous movements. Even if my leg is under the table, someone sitting across from me can tell (it looks like I’m fidgeting), and my right arm, all the way to the shoulder, is pretty much constantly moving at its worst. Several people have asked me if I’m okay, but mostly I’m concerned that I look nervous or distracted to everyone at the table and they just don’t say anything. (And in fact I am distracted as I’m trying to force myself not to move, which helps a bit but doesn’t make it stop completely.) I’m worried that these movements make me seem less competent or just generally less professional.

Since the symptoms are heavily timed to the medication dose, I do have some level of control over when they show up. But I have to take the medication every four hours during the day (without it I’m very stiff and have trouble walking and typing), and it’s really difficult to manage properly if I try to shift the dosage times. I can shift the times to minimize symptoms for really important one-hour meetings on specific days but that’s not really feasible on an ongoing basis or when I have longer commitments. (Full-day meetings are pretty common in my environment.)

A few people at work know I’ve been dealing with some movement issues for a while, and a small number know the whole story, but most either don’t know anything at all or have just heard vague rumors. I’m often also meeting with people from other departments that wouldn’t have a reason to know about my health issues, and in these cases it’s even more critical that I seem competent and at ease, as in these cases I’m generally trying to get agreement to do something collaboratively or pitching some kind of other type of interaction and need to be seen as a good person to work with.

I get so nervous about this that more than once I’ve just blurted out a confession about my condition because I was concerned how I was coming across. I definitely don’t think that’s a good solution, but I’m having trouble coming up with something else. I fear just pretending it’s not happening is reducing my effectiveness, but I also don’t want to be vague and mysterious. Any advice on how I could deal with this in a productive way?

I think you’ll feel much better if you say something! It doesn’t have to be the full story if you don’t want it to be, but there are a few things you could say that would explain what’s happening so that people aren’t worried or trying to fill in details on their own.

For example, you could say, “I might look like I’m fidgeting or moving strangely during this meeting — it’s a side effect of a medication, so please don’t worry.” Or “I’m dealing with some health issues involving nerves, so you may notice some involuntary movements — I hope it’s not distracting.” Or “I have a condition that’s causing a tremor — please don’t worry if you notice it.”

Basically, address it up-front or as it happens to whatever extent you’re comfortable with. You’ll probably feel better knowing that people aren’t wondering what’s going on, and they’ll feel better knowing that whatever it is, there’s an explanation and you’re on top of it.

5. Responding to a reference request from an old friend who I’ve fallen out with

An old friend and former colleague applied to the state bar. He’s a new attorney and just started working for a firm. I received a link from the bar association, with directions on how to respond to standard questions about him and write several paragraphs about him, how long and how well I knew him, and what I think of his character and why I think he should be admitted. The thing is, he’s not been friendly or accessible in a long time. He’s actually made quite a few bad impressions the last few times we interacted, and he did not even reach out to me to ask if he could submit my name/email as a personal or professional reference. How should I have responded?

If he had just been out of touch for a while, that’s not something you should hold against him when giving a reference. It would be pretty awful to do that to someone you describe as an old friend. But if you actually have a bad opinion of him now, which seems like it might be the case, that’s a different thing. In that case, it would be perfectly reasonable to simply not respond, or to contact him and let him know that you don’t feel like you’re well-positioned to give a recommendation.

If you had serious concerns about his ethics or integrity, the other option would be fill out the questionnaire honestly, of course. But I don’t think that’s what you’re saying here.

You may also like:

update: my coworker kissed me and now his wife is emailing me

ask the readers: my business partner’s wife corners people at events and won’t stop talking

my coworker used a racial slur at our boss’s home

my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703 http://ift.tt/2klh1Zp via IFTTT

#IFTTT #RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703

[trashbagtricks]

my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewer’s wife is telling people about my job search

I recently came across a job positing for a position I had interviewed for seven years ago. I made it through three rounds of interviews and in the end did not get the job. I was crushed at the time. I came across the same listing this year, and couldn’t resist applying again. Once again, I made it through several rounds of interviews but in the end was not selected for the position. It was disappointing, and I am trying my best not to take the rejection top personally.

This morning a coworker of mine let slip that at her bookclub on Friday, the interviewer’s wife had shared with her that I applied and interviewed for the job but did not get the position. She said “I probably shouldn’t say…” and then proceeded to tell my coworker my entire history of applying and interviewing with this company. I am frustrated because I have not been open with my employer about the fact that I interviewed for another job. I am not set on leaving my current position, but I jumped at the chance to work for this company. Furthermore, it’s a little embarrassing to have my coworker know I was rejected for this position twice. I’m not sitting at home crying about the rejection, but it’s really the last thing I want to talk about. I am ready to move on.

Should I reach out to my former interviewer to ask him politely to not discuss my interview with others? I made it clear in my interview that if I was hired, I would need time to tactfully exit from my current position, and it was indicated in my rejection that my request to take proper time to leave my current position was part of the reason I was not hired (they needed an applicant who could start immediately.) I asked my coworker not to share this with my boss, but I’m worried his wife may tell other people in our shared network (it’s a small town.)

Wow, yes. It’s one thing for people to talk about work in confidence with a spouse, but your interviewer probably has no idea that his wife is blabbing about it to other people.

I’d email the interviewer and say something like this: “As you know, I’m concerned about keeping my conversations with you discreet. I was taken aback today when a colleague told me that she’d heard about my interview process with you from your wife, who she apparently shares a social activity with. She then went on to share with me numerous details that she said your wife had relayed to her. I hope you can understand how stunned I am about this; this has the potential to jeopardize my current employment. I’m not sure what can be done at this point, but I wanted to make you aware of what happened and ask that you ensure nothing further is shared.”

2. Should I intervene in my husband’s coworker’s marriage?

My husband works in a sales environment and is well liked and respected. Many of his coworkers tell him stories about their weekends, social events, etc. There is one married coworker who told my husband that he tried to make out with the much younger receptionist at a social work function on the weekend. There was a lot of alcohol involved, but I feel some sort of responsibility to tell his wife.

It would be anonymous if I were to tell her — email or Facebook message under a different name as I do not want to put my husband in the middle. I know many people might say that for something so small, why would you want to ruin their marriage or upset his wife, it’s not my business, etc. But a few months later, the married coworker left his job at the company my husband works at to take a higher up position with a different company and he asked the receptionist to come with him and he hired her there. Now they see each other daily and I am 100% sure he hired her to pursue her. This married coworker does have a history of openly hitting on, flirting, and being inappropriate with other women behind his wife’s back. What should I do?

You’re too many degrees removed from this to be in a position to intervene. You’re hearing this secondhand about people you don’t know personally.

When your husband first told you, ideally you would have pushed him to intervene — at a minimum by telling the guy to knock it off, but also possibly by reporting it to someone above him. (If your husband is a manager, he has an obligation to report sexual harassment that he hears about. And assuming the guy’s conduct wasn’t welcome to the receptionist, that’s harassment territory.) It’s probably too late for that now that the coworker has left the company, but if your husband still hangs out with this guy, you should encourage him to tell him to cut this crap out.

But this is all stuff for your husband to do, not you. You’re not close enough to the situation yourself.

3. My date to the office Christmas party is … a coworker

The small regional office for the big company I work for has a lot of people from different teams all thrown together in the same space. Two years ago, a colleague on a completely different team and I started dating (it’s going very well, we’ve moved in together!). We immediately made a “professional behavior at the office” rule and we have been very good at following it.

But I’m not sure how to act at the Christmas party, which is off-site and more relaxed and every one is bringing their partners. It’s not a secret that we’re together, but it’s possible that many people in the office don’t know 1) we’re dating or 2) that he’s not with his previous partner anymore.

I doubt anything we can do could stop people from talking. How can I conduct myself at the party and feel good about my behavior? What’s the right mix of professional and not hiding the fact that we’re together?

Assuming you’re not going to be engaging in PDA* at the party, it’s possible that a lot of people won’t even realize that you’re there together. They’ll just see … two coworkers.

So what’s more likely is that someone might ask whether you’re there with a date or not, at which point you can say, “Actually, Falcon and I came together.” And actually, even that doesn’t clearly saying “we’re dating,” so if you want to use this as a coming-out of sorts, you could be clearer about it: “I’m here with Falcon. We’ve actually moved in together.”

* Of course, it’s possible that they might see other signs — not PDA stuff, but like your hand on his back or something else minor but that you wouldn’t normally do with a coworker. I don’t think you have to worry about hiding those things. That’s how a lot of people figure out coworkers are dating. I hear you on worrying that they might not know he’s not still with his previous partner, but they’ll presumably put it together if you’re being open and normal about it (as opposed to making out on the copier or shooting each other furtive “let’s sex it up as soon as we get home” looks and so forth).

4. Explaining Parkinson’s tremors in work meetings

I’ve recently been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It’s a bit of an atypical presentation in that I don’t (yet at least) have the characteristic tremor most people associate with the disorder. It’s also a bit atypical due to my age (I’m in my early 40s.) I do have a visible symptom — as a side effect of the medication I take, I have “dyskenesia,” where both my right arm and leg move involuntarily. It peaks at predictable times following my medication dose.

My issue is that it’s pretty noticeable at work. I have a relatively senior meeting-heavy job which requires me to look presentable, put together, and generally on top of things. Sitting in a chair during meetings, I don’t really have any way to hide the extraneous movements. Even if my leg is under the table, someone sitting across from me can tell (it looks like I’m fidgeting), and my right arm, all the way to the shoulder, is pretty much constantly moving at its worst. Several people have asked me if I’m okay, but mostly I’m concerned that I look nervous or distracted to everyone at the table and they just don’t say anything. (And in fact I am distracted as I’m trying to force myself not to move, which helps a bit but doesn’t make it stop completely.) I’m worried that these movements make me seem less competent or just generally less professional.

Since the symptoms are heavily timed to the medication dose, I do have some level of control over when they show up. But I have to take the medication every four hours during the day (without it I’m very stiff and have trouble walking and typing), and it’s really difficult to manage properly if I try to shift the dosage times. I can shift the times to minimize symptoms for really important one-hour meetings on specific days but that’s not really feasible on an ongoing basis or when I have longer commitments. (Full-day meetings are pretty common in my environment.)

A few people at work know I’ve been dealing with some movement issues for a while, and a small number know the whole story, but most either don’t know anything at all or have just heard vague rumors. I’m often also meeting with people from other departments that wouldn’t have a reason to know about my health issues, and in these cases it’s even more critical that I seem competent and at ease, as in these cases I’m generally trying to get agreement to do something collaboratively or pitching some kind of other type of interaction and need to be seen as a good person to work with.

I get so nervous about this that more than once I’ve just blurted out a confession about my condition because I was concerned how I was coming across. I definitely don’t think that’s a good solution, but I’m having trouble coming up with something else. I fear just pretending it’s not happening is reducing my effectiveness, but I also don’t want to be vague and mysterious. Any advice on how I could deal with this in a productive way?

I think you’ll feel much better if you say something! It doesn’t have to be the full story if you don’t want it to be, but there are a few things you could say that would explain what’s happening so that people aren’t worried or trying to fill in details on their own.

For example, you could say, “I might look like I’m fidgeting or moving strangely during this meeting — it’s a side effect of a medication, so please don’t worry.” Or “I’m dealing with some health issues involving nerves, so you may notice some involuntary movements — I hope it’s not distracting.” Or “I have a condition that’s causing a tremor — please don’t worry if you notice it.”

Basically, address it up-front or as it happens to whatever extent you’re comfortable with. You’ll probably feel better knowing that people aren’t wondering what’s going on, and they’ll feel better knowing that whatever it is, there’s an explanation and you’re on top of it.

5. Responding to a reference request from an old friend who I’ve fallen out with

An old friend and former colleague applied to the state bar. He’s a new attorney and just started working for a firm. I received a link from the bar association, with directions on how to respond to standard questions about him and write several paragraphs about him, how long and how well I knew him, and what I think of his character and why I think he should be admitted. The thing is, he’s not been friendly or accessible in a long time. He’s actually made quite a few bad impressions the last few times we interacted, and he did not even reach out to me to ask if he could submit my name/email as a personal or professional reference. How should I have responded?

If he had just been out of touch for a while, that’s not something you should hold against him when giving a reference. It would be pretty awful to do that to someone you describe as an old friend. But if you actually have a bad opinion of him now, which seems like it might be the case, that’s a different thing. In that case, it would be perfectly reasonable to simply not respond, or to contact him and let him know that you don’t feel like you’re well-positioned to give a recommendation.

If you had serious concerns about his ethics or integrity, the other option would be fill out the questionnaire honestly, of course. But I don’t think that’s what you’re saying here.

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my interviewer’s wife told people about my job search, my date to the holiday party is a coworker, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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