#it was a great morning waking up to.. well-

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 20: The New Normal

Summary: Your pack settles into a routine as you learn to adapt to the shifting relationships between all of you.

Pairings: Poly 141 x reader, Price x Gaz

Word Count:

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, p in v sex, unprotected sex, threesome, BDSM elements, dry humping, language, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, angst, PTSD, flashbacks, nightmares, smoking, Gaz being the prettiest boy alive.

A/N: Not much to say about this one. Hope it's worth a two week wait...

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A yelp leaves your lips as your feet leave the ground, your body hitting the floor rather ungracefully. You roll from the force of the impact, stopping flat on your back. You stare up at the ceiling, trying to catch the breath that was forced from your lungs from your impact with the floor. 

“You left yourself too open again.” 

“Well how was I supposed to know which way you were moving?” You say, slowly pushing yourself back up to sit as you catch your breath. 

“You can’t, that’s why you have to keep yourself guarded at all times. Anyone you’re fighting will do worse than that as soon as your guard is down.” 

You stare at Simon’s shoes as he stops a foot away from you. The laces are pulled to the exact same tension on both sides, double knotted to avoid them coming undone and becoming a tripping hazard. Even the way his crew socks are pulled up over the legs of his sweatpants speaks volumes of how on guard he is. Always ready for a fight, always ready so that nothing can get in his way and put him at risk. 

He lets out a quiet sigh as he drops down into a squat in front of you. “How have you been sleeping?”

Your gaze finally leaves his shoes, trailing up his legs to his arms where they rest on his knees. You follow the lines of his tattoos until you reach where his shirt sleeve covers the rest. You work your way up until you reach his mask-covered face, finally meeting his brown eyes. There's a softness to them now you've never noticed before, something you might not have taken notice of now had you not become brave enough to look that deep. 

“Better,” You clear your throat, dropping your gaze to the mat. “But still not great.”

This morning had started with you shaking in Johnny's hold, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he whispered soft reassurances in your ear. The nightmares haven't gone away since your confession, nor have they even really lessened, but at least now you aren’t suffering alone when they wake you from your sleep. At least now your pack knows how to best comfort you when your mind insists on silently torturing you. 

You still haven’t slept alone since they returned, nor have you spent any great length of time in your room. There’s still a lingering feeling of someone watching, of something staring at you from inside the walls. You’ve checked while they were at training for any cameras you might have missed, but you’ve come up empty handed. Maybe it was just the knowledge that your safe space had been invaded causing that paranoid itching in the back of your mind to linger. None of the guys have complained about you staying with them at night, though perhaps you have your confession about your nightmares to thank for that.  

“The nightmares?” Ghost asks, snapping you from your thoughts. 

You nod. “Yeah.”

The risk of them finding out about your nightmares has made you less afraid to sleep, but still the fear of what horrible scene your mind will come up with keeps you awake. You pull your knees to your chest, making yourself small as you sit in front of him. He’s just so big, so broad and bulky, truly the ideal specimen of a perfect alpha. He’s the kind of alpha your fellow omegas at the institute would whisper about. Some big, strong protector who would provide for them and keep them safe and satisfied. 

If only they could see you now. 

Despite the shift in your relationship with Simon, things haven’t changed much. He’s still the quiet, looming figure behind you, posing a silent threat to anyone who might think about approaching you. He still places a hand on your back to steer you, still stands closer behind you than he used to, still looks at you with a softer look in his eyes than you’ve ever seen before. Sometimes you’re tempted to push that boundary first, to lean in and rest your head on his broad chest, feel the muscle under his shirt again. You want to press up against his back while he sleeps and let his warmth seep into your bones. Sometimes when you’re alone and your thoughts begin to run rampant, you think about how you have nothing to fear because Simon would rip the face off anyone who tried anything. 

Of course, he has to be here in order to do that. 

You won’t have to be alone again. John had promised you that much. He’d fight harder to make sure you’re not alone again. Not, at least, for a while if it can be avoided. 

“You’re thinking too much again.” Simon says, pulling you from your thoughts for a second time. 

You stare at him, suddenly realizing he’s moved closer to you. You’re not sure when he did, too caught up in your own thoughts to be aware of your surroundings. It’s dangerous, your ability to sink into your mind and get lost there. You know it and they know it. Yet you can’t help it. It’s safer in your head, easier to exist in a place where you’re in control, where you can predict what’s going to happen next. 

Simon’s hand wraps around your ankle, tugging you closer to him. You fall flat on your back on the mat, body sliding partially under his. He looms over you, settling his weight across your thighs as his hands come to rest on either side of your head. Your eyes are wide as you stare up at him, your heart pounding in your chest, as it usually does when you’re in this position.  

“Now, what do you do when someone pins you?” He asks, the sharpness back in his gaze as he stares down at you. 

Lay here and don’t move, or at least that’s what you want to do currently. He’s just so big and warm, and the way he makes you feel so small under him has your head spinning. How you wish he’d press his body into yours, let you feel him completely. The scents in the air begin to thicken as you find your head tilting back on instinct, baring your throat to him in submission. 

His hand closes around your chin, forcing your gaze back on his. “Focus.” He says, projecting his scent more to try and cover yours. It goes straight to your head, your gaze sharpening just slightly as you stare up at him. The scent of alpha around you has your mind racing in several different directions. You know you should be afraid, but it’s Simon. You know him, you trust him. He’d never hurt you intentionally, but he’s still an alpha. 

The strong musky scent has something in the back of your head prickling, your instincts teetering on the edge of safety and danger. You know the alpha over you, but what if it was someone else? That was the point of all of this, right? You won’t be fighting off Simon or John. It will be someone unfamiliar, someone who wants to hurt you. 

Simon’s fingers leave your chin, trailing down your neck. Your pulse thrums faster as his fingers near the base of your throat. The scent of alpha is strong in your nose. How easily he could slip his hand around the back of your neck and squeeze, rendering you brainless and under his control. 

Your mind goes blank and you move without even thinking. Your fist slams into his side right where he’d taught you to hit. He buckles at the sudden attack and you use his moment of surprise and disorientation to free one of your legs and drive your knee right into his stomach. You push him off of you, scrambling back a couple feet before your mind begins to clear. Simon lays on the mat, almost wheezing as he tries to get the air back into his lungs. 

You flounder there for a moment, watching the giant alpha you had just incapacitated. You don’t know where that came from or how you’d managed it. No, that’s not totally true. You know where the fear had come from, but you also know Simon would never do something like that to you. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You say, shifting onto your knees in case Simon retaliates, in case he gets angry at you for attacking him. “I don’t know what just happened.”

“The hell are you apologizing for?” He coughs out, pushing himself onto his side. “That was bloody brilliant.” 

You blink in surprise, taken aback by his response. “What?” 

“That’s what you were supposed to do.” He says, pushing himself the rest of the way up onto his knees. “I asked what you should do if you’re pinned, and you did it.” 

You continue to stare at him, not quite sure how to process the sort-of praise from him. He had asked you what you should do if you were pinned, and you had done what you were supposed to do. It hadn’t quite been for the right reasons, but you did do something correctly. You managed to incapacitate him enough to get out from underneath him, and without him going easy on you. 

Maybe the training is working after all. 

“Do that in a fight, you might just give yourself enough time to run.” He says, pushing himself up to stand. “Good job.” 

You continue to stare at him as he passes you, heading to the bench where your belongings sit. You’re still kneeling there on the mat in surprise. You hadn’t expected such genuine praise from him. But why not? He’s doing this to train you, to teach you how to defend yourself against anyone who might want to hurt you. Anyone who’s stupid enough to try something when they’re not here to defend and protect you. 

Something that’s already happened. 

You’ve finally managed to defend yourself, to apply the things he’s spent weeks teaching you successfully. Why shouldn’t he be proud of you for that? 

You’re still getting used to this new side of him, this accepting side, the softness that he’s showing you in his own way. It’s what you wanted, what you’ve been trying to achieve for weeks now, and now that you have it...you’re not quite sure what to do with it. Where does the boundary lie? What if you push too far? Will things go back to the way they were before? Will he shut you out completely? 

Hands slip under your arms, lifting you to your feet. You turn, your head tilting back to stare up at Simon. He’s wearing that emotionless mask on his face, or at least that’s what you picture as you stare up at his eyes. It’s the look he carries the most, giving away nothing and effectively hiding what he’s feeling. You wish you could see his face. You’ve tried to draw up images of what he might look like, what he hides under the mask. He can’t be ugly, at least not totally. Johnny had reassured you of that much, but you wish for just a glimpse more than his chin and his lips when he eats. 

“You’re thinking too much again.” He says, taking half a step back from you. 

“Sorry.” You blink, trying to pull yourself from the depths of your mind once again. 

“Come on. Let’s get breakfast.” He says, tilting his head towards the door. 

You follow him from the gym, his steps markedly slower compared to how he used to walk. Gone are the days of almost having to run to keep up with him. You could almost swear he takes smaller steps too, instead of his normal long, purposeful strides. It’s almost as if he’s out for a stroll instead of being forced into the task of escorting you to breakfast. 

His hand finds your back again as you enter the mess, guiding you through the tables to the line to get food. His palm is warm where it’s pressed against the middle of your back, his fingers splayed, pressing just slightly into your skin through your shirt as an alpha soldier passes just slightly too close to you. 

He still won’t fill your tray for you, but you can respect that. It’s a big step, and only done if there’s interest in courting or caretaking. You don’t expect that level of intimacy from him, certainly not right now. Perhaps never. 

He’s not your alpha. 

He guides you to the table where the others are sitting, and you take your normal spot between John and Kyle. They both shift just slightly closer to you almost subconsciously. Everything is almost a subconscious action now. Simon’s guiding hand on your back, your alpha moving closer to you, the betas keeping you between them whenever you’re with them. It’s a good sign, or at least you think it is. It feels right, a sort of easy flow that has developed between the five of you. One you don’t have to think very hard about. 

“How did trainin’ go?” Johnny asks between shoveling bites of eggs into his mouth. 

“Fine.” You shrug. “Simon threw me across the mat.” 

All eyes at the table turn to him despite your nonchalant tone. It wasn’t the first time it’s ever happened, and you’re sure it won’t be the last. 

“She took me down herself afterwards.” Simon says, not bothering to look up from his porridge. 

Now all eyes at the table are on you. Your cheeks warm and you slowly start to make yourself smaller under their gazes. 

“Had her pinned and she disarmed me enough to get free.” Simon continues, his gaze lifting so he’s staring at you too. 

“Christ, what I would pay tae see that.” Johnny says, grinning widely at you. 

“So training is paying off then.” John says, patting your back gently. 

“Guess so.” You shrug, still feeling a bit bashful under the attention. “Not sure how useful I’d be in a real fight still.” 

“Well, your first defense is trying to escape. Running is always the priority, remember?” John says. 

You nod. Right. Run first. Like you should have opened the window and ran when that beta knocked on your door. Like you should have run when you noticed your door was open. Like you should have run when someone tried to get into your room. 

How disappointed they’d be if they knew how you failed to follow even the most basic instructions. What would have happened if you hadn’t noticed the cameras? Would whoever tried to get into your room that night still have tried to enter? What if the door had been unlocked? What if they had gotten in? What would you have done, then? Try to disarm them enough to run to Dr. Keller? 

That is what you were supposed to do. 

Instead you had been stupid and froze in your fear and let it all happen, and now you can’t even tell them. It’s too late, it’s been too long. They’d be too upset if you confessed now instead of if you’d done it right when they returned. 

You have to bury it now and hope it stays that way for the rest of time. 

John is the one that walks you back to the barracks after breakfast. You don’t remember the last time he walked you to a meal or back from it. Usually he was too busy doing his job, or setting up things, or whatever else it is he does. Walking you back to the barracks was far too menial a task for how busy he is. 

You hold his hand as you walk, close enough that his arm brushes your side with every step. You don’t let go of his hand even when he walks you to your door, keeping your fingers laced as you turn to look up at him. 

“You gonna be alright on your own?” He asks, staring down at you with a soft look in his eyes. 

No. You’re almost tempted to say it, to throw your arms around him and confess, to beg him to keep you close, to stay, to take you with him. Anything so you won’t have to be alone ever again. 

You swallow the lump in your throat as you nod. “Yeah.” 

For a moment, just a moment you think he doesn't believe you. There’s a second of hesitation, a cold chill running down your spine as your anxiety spikes. What if he knows you’re lying? What if he’s testing how long you’ll keep up the charade? How long you’ll try to keep them in the dark about what happened. He knows something is wrong. He can tell.

Your back meets your door as he crowds you in, releasing your hand so he can press both into the wood on either side of you. Something warm stirs in your stomach as you stare up at him, feeling very small as he looms over you. 

He lets out a low rumble in his chest as he leans down. For a moment you’re expecting a kiss, but he moves to the side at the last moment, nudging your chin so it’s tilted up, bearing your throat to him. “What’s got you so worked up, huh?” He murmurs against your neck, his beard prickling the sensitive skin. “Have we been neglecting you for too long?” 

Saying yes wouldn’t be a lie. They haven’t really sought you out in that way since their return. The most you’ve gotten in the last almost two weeks was when Johnny slipped his hand into your sleep shorts, and you returned the favor. John and Kyle hadn’t really even tried to initiate anything, treating you more like you’d shatter into a million pieces if they touched you too much. 

Maybe a good fuck would solve some of your issues. 

It would at least help you forget for a while. 

A quiet moan leaves your lips as John sucks on your mark, the imprint of his teeth scarred into your skin. The mark that claims you as his, bonded to him for the rest of your life. 

Lust and desire burns hot in your veins and you find yourself cupping his face, tugging him away from your neck so you can kiss him. He lets out a growl against your lips as you kiss him like you want to devour him, your hands sliding to his shoulders to tug him closer to you. His hands drop from the door to rest on your hips, pulling you flush against him. You can feel him, his cock hardening through his cargo pants. 

You’d let him take you right here, right now, right in the hallway. You don’t care that anyone could walk in at any moment, anyone would be able to see you. It feels almost like it would cleanse the barracks, free you from the fear in your mind. Allowing yourself to be so vulnerable out in the open could wipe away the worry that there’s someone around every corner, someone watching you. 

Getting railed by your alpha against the very door that separated you from the room that now held your worst nightmares might just fix you. 

But, just like everything else that’s happened recently, you don’t get that chance. 

John’s watch begins to beep in your ear, causing him to pull away from you. You let out a quiet whine as you’re forced apart, suddenly feeling chilled from the loss of warmth against you. 

John lets out a quiet sigh, leaning his forehead against yours. “I have to go.” 

You wish he didn’t. You’re half tempted to beg him to stay, to fuck his job, his duties. You want him to stay, to give all his attention to you, just for a few hours. You want him to erase the fear and the anxiety and fix you. 

“We’ll continue this later.” There’s a promise to his tone that he’s not done with you, a guarantee that you will get to continue this once the day is over, when he can go back to being your alpha instead of a captain. He leans in, kissing you once more. “Be a good girl for me, yeah?” 

You nod, watching him walk out of the barracks, the door closing softly behind him. You lean against your door for a few moments longer before letting out a breath. There’s still warmth swirling in your stomach, your underwear sticking to your damp folds. An idea pops into your head. You don’t want to go into your room, you don’t want to be in there alone right now. 

Instead you head for Price’s room, unbuttoning your pants as you close the door behind you. You strip out of your pants before you climb onto the bed, making yourself comfortable. You’re going to give him a little present, a little something in revenge for leaving you high and dry, a little something to help him look forward to tonight.

Screaming. It’s all you can hear. It makes your ears ring and your head throb. Hands cling to you, nails biting into your skin. Something’s pulling on you, trying to rip you away. You’re stuck in a brutal tug of war. It hurts, but no one can hear you over the screaming. Tears are sliding down your cheeks, blazing a trail along your skin. You shouldn’t be crying, you shouldn’t be upset. 

He hates it when you cry. 

Alphas don’t cry. 

You’re not an alpha. 

You’ve committed the worst sin in his eyes, denying him the perfect pack. You’re a stain on his perfect ledger, a mistake that never should have happened. 

He’s going to make sure you’re wiped from memory, from history, just as he wants. 

“You can’t take her from me!” Your mother’s voice is frantic, her nails biting into your arm as she tries to pull you back into the safety of your arms. 

“She’s no daughter of mine.” Your father’s fingers dig painfully into your other arm, trying to pull you away from your mother, away from your life. He’s going to throw you out like you’re nothing more than trash. 

The screaming gets louder as you’re yanked from your mother’s hold, and you’re not sure if it’s her screams or your own piercing your ears. 

“We have to ensure the success of this program.” The voice has changed. It’s not the cruel hands of your father holding you anymore. “It’s imperative to the future of militaries around the world.” 

“No!” You scream, kicking, fighting, lashing out, but the hands won’t let go. They’re like a vice around you, like a constrictor slowly getting tighter and tighter. 

“All you have to do is be a good omega,” A hand slips around the back of your neck, your skin burning from the touch. The warning is screaming in your head, louder than the screams of protest spilling from your lips. “And do exactly as you’re told.” 

The fingers dig into your neck, your mind flashing for a second before it goes blank. 

“No!” 

You move before you’re even fully awake, sitting up straight in bed. Your hands close around the back of your neck as you curl into yourself, taking a defensive, protective position. You can still feel the cold hand on your skin, the fingers biting into the sensitive spots on your neck. You’re crying, tears and snot dripping down your face as you press it against your knees. 

“No!” Another terrified cry leaves your lips as hands meet your skin, not cold or clammy, but warm and gentle. Your half asleep brain is stuck in your nightmare and can't rationalize the difference, not while you're perceiving everything as a threat. 

“Easy, easy.” A voice says, speaking quietly, calmly. You recognize that voice. It’s not one from your dreams. Arms slowly wind around you, pulling you against a warm chest. “I’ve got you. It was just a dream.” 

Your breaths are rapid and shaky as you slowly begin to come back to your senses. It was just a dream. You’re awake now. You know that voice. 

“Alpha?” You whimper, desperately seeking the confirmation that it’s really him, that you’re really awake and free from your nightmare. 

“I’m here.” He says, clutching you tightly against his chest. “Need you to breathe for me.” He pushes your head against his chest so you can feel his breaths. 

You’re still crying, your breaths catching in your chest almost painfully as you attempt to follow your alpha’s deep, steady breaths. His arms are still tight around you, pinning you against his chest. His beard tickles your forehead as he leans his chin against your head. He’s projecting his scent, the smell of earth and petrichor mixed with the musk of alpha seeping into your brain. 

“Good girl.” He praises you as you begin to relax, your joins unlocking from their stiffened positions, your muscles slowly loosening from how contracted they had been in your defensive position. You could have slipped into distress easily in that position, the level of fear higher than you’ve felt in a long time. 

He loosens his hold on you just slightly as you begin to unravel yourself as you calm down. Your hands are still clamped around the back of your neck, your fingers trembling from how stiffly they’re held against your most vulnerable spot. 

“Keep relaxing.” He says quietly, his lips brushing your hairline. “I’ve got you.” 

He continues to speak to you quietly, letting you work yourself out of your tense, defensive position. You slowly begin to slide your hands away from your neck as your mind begins to clear and you realize there’s no threat to you, nothing waiting just outside your line of vision to attack. Your alpha has you, you’re safe with him, well protected. 

The tears continue to fall, however, as you think back on your nightmare. It had felt so real, maybe because in a way it had been real. You had been pulled from your mother, from your home to the institute, then from the institute to the CIA, from the CIA to here and straight into General Shepherd's lap. 

“Promise me,” You gasp out, your voice hoarse from crying. “Tell me you’ll never scruff me.” 

“Never.” He says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I promise I’ll never scruff you.” 

You press your face into his chest, breathing out a quiet sigh of relief. He could always go back on his word, he could change his mind, decide you needed to be scruffed. You know it’s foolish, having those kinds of thoughts. He’s never once gone back on his word, never once proved himself untrustworthy to you. 

“I need to know if you've ever been scruffed before.” He asks, the authority slipping into his voice. 

A frown pulls at your brows. You can’t remember if you’ve ever been scruffed before. Was it possible you had, but had been made to forget? Everything you’ve learned about scruffing says you would know, even if you don’t remember what happened after. It’s a very distinct feeling returning to your mind afterwards. It’s just something you’d know.

“No? I-I don’t think so?” You say. “At least I can’t remember, but I think it’s one of those things that you would know if it happened.” 

“I’ve seen it happen, and I’ve seen the aftermath. You would know if it had ever happened to you.” 

His words bring a shred of relief to your worried mind. You don’t want to know, you don’t want to ask how he knows, why he knows. It’s not likely he would have been able to tell you anyway. Just another secret, just another thing kept in the dark. You knew from early on  they’d have their secrets, things they wouldn’t ever be able to tell you. You just never expected to have one of your own. 

You curl up closer against his chest, pushing the thoughts and the guilt hanging over your head away in favor of soaking up the calming presence of your alpha. For a moment, just a moment, you can imagine everything will be alright. What’s in the past will stay there and nothing will come back to haunt you. You can just move on, and pretend like nothing happened. 

You know it’s not true, but for just a moment, you can pretend that it is. 

He hates it. 

He hates the way he feels. 

The subtle change to his heart rate, the way his insides feel like they’re fluttering, twisting. The disappointment eating him when his existence is ignored entirely in favor of those who were brave enough to open up, to allow you in. 

Why is he disappointed? He’s done nothing but brush you off, keep you desperately at arms length despite your attempts to wiggle in through the slowly widening cracks in his resolve. Cracks that were formed by your very insertion into their lives. They were happy, they were fine. Then you came along and fucked everything up. 

The worst part? 

He likes it. 

He wanted to hate you. For so long he fought that desire in him to be near an omega again, to be close enough to smell your sickeningly sweet scent. He tried to hate you, tried to ignore you, push you away from the walls he’s spent decades building up. Walls that threatened to crumble thanks to your very existence. 

He’s not sure when the change happened. It was gradual, a shift in his hatred that became fascination that quickly morphed into something more. Something forbidden. Maybe it was when you submitted to him during training, or maybe it was after your first time with Johnny when his beta had looked far too pleased, and shared the intimate details of what you had done to him far too easily. Johnny’s need to yap had won out and his beta’s words had caused a stirring in his stomach he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

A stirring he’d been able to ignore for so long. 

For a moment, just a moment there had been fleeting curiosity. Would you try to take control with him? What if he let you do it? How long could you keep it up before you tired out and your true nature took over? 

He stuffed those thoughts into the far recesses of his mind, refusing to allow them forward. He’s not getting soft, he’s not going to allow you any closer to his already cracking walls. 

He tells himself that, at least until they leave. Until he sees the effect you have on his pack. The ripples in the bonds, the changes that happen almost as soon as the ramp of the plane shuts, separating you from them for the first time since your arrival. 

He’s a good soldier. He can pretend nothing’s wrong, force the feelings into the back of his mind better than anyone. At least, that’s what he tells himself. 

It had hurt when you ignored him on your return, throwing yourself into Price’s arms desperately and clinging to him like he might disappear. The betas had sandwiched you between them, letting you cling to them desperately as you trembled and cried. It was pathetic, but not quite as pathetic as the bitterness and the sting of disappointment in his chest. 

He tried not to let himself feel it, tried to bury himself in his paperwork, tried to keep the feelings at bay, at least until Johnny had knocked on his door, mattress in tow telling him to get a blanket and head for Price’s room. 

It was Kyle’s idea. Had to be. Kyle is the most nurturing of the four of them, and judging by the state of you, he must have done it because he thought it would help. 

By the time he grew the balls to enter the makeshift nest, the betas had already sandwiched you between them, your form almost smothered completely under Johnny. Price had laid himself out on Kyle’s other side, and the space for him was made up of mostly Johnny’s mattress. It had to have been a deliberate move, meant for his own comfort. Sweet Johnny and his beta senses. He probably didn’t even realize what he’d done. It had just happened naturally. 

It’s at Johnny’s pestering insistence that he climbs into the nest finally, laying stiffly on the mattress behind his beta. It’s been a long time since he’s been in a nest. He doesn't sleep, not much anyway, but neither does Price. Both of them are too awake, too aware, too alert. The betas sleep peacefully and so do you, probably the most sleep you’ve gotten since your heat. 

The warmth in the room gets unbearable fast, the blankets quickly kicked to the end of the mattresses, along with his own sweatshirt. It’s like a sauna, and for a moment he considers opening the window, but he’s too afraid to move, too afraid to disturb the nest. 

It’s when Johnny gets up to go to the bathroom that you finally move, the first time in hours. You roll into the space he had vacated, lips slightly parted as you breathe in and out easily. Johnny, the bastard, takes your empty spot, trapping you between them. He turns his back to you in hopes you stay as still as you had before, which works for a while. At least, until he feels something press up against his back. He goes still, every muscle tensing as you bury your face between his shoulder blades. He should turn over, push you away. He should nudge you back towards Johnny, let you seek out his warmth instead. Yet, he can’t bring himself to move.

He shouldn’t like it. He can’t. He can’t allow you in, he can’t let you past his rapidly crumbling walls. Yet, he does like it. He wants to feel you pressed against him, he wants to see that hidden part of you that had brought his beta to his knees so easily. 

He’s supposed to be keeping his distance, and yet, here you are, forcing your way in again. It almost feels like a silent apology for yesterday, your subconscious picking up on his disappointment, and so now it’s offering him this moment in hopes he’ll forgive you. 

It’s working. 

A quiet breath leaves your lips as you listen to the steady beating beneath your ear. The scent of coconut and saltwater floats in the air, taking your mind far away, back to a different time when things were simpler. Kyle’s calloused fingers trail across your arm, drawing absentminded patterns across your skin. You press your face against his warm skin, your hand splaying across his stomach. You can feel the ridges of his muscles, the way they flex with every breath. 

“What’s on your mind?” He asks, his lips brushing your forehead as he speaks. 

“Just thinking about when we used to go to the beach when I was younger. Back when my dad was stationed in North Carolina for a few months.” 

“You like the beach?” He asks. 

You nod. “Yeah. There’s just something calming about it. I don’t mind the sand and I like the sound of the waves hitting the shore.” 

“We could go to the beach.” He says, making you tilt your head up just slightly. “When the weather’s nicer, closer to summer. Take a few days off, go on a vacation.” 

“You could do that?” You ask, pushing yourself up on your elbow so you can see him fully. 

He smiles at you, his hand dropping to your back. “We do get to go on leave every so often, barring nothing urgent happens while we’re away. I’ll talk to Price about it. We can start making some plans, if you want.” 

You stare down at him, the softness in his gaze, the slight upward tilt of his lips. He might as well have just promised you the world with how he’s looking at you. Tears burn at the back of your eyes as you stare at him. You don’t deserve it, you don’t deserve such kindness, such care after lying to them. You can trust Kyle. He’d be the least angry, at least towards you, if you confessed right now. It would be so easy, but you’re not sure you could stand watching the love and happiness fade from his eyes as you confessed to your stupidity, your deception. 

“What is it?” He asks, his brows furrowing. Of course he’d pick up on the shift of your emotions, the sudden anxiety twisting in your stomach. “We don’t have to go to the beach. We could do something else, or nothing at all.” 

“It’s not that.” You say, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I just...I don’t deserve you. All of you. You’re too good to me.” 

“Oh, love, that’s not true.” He says, gently cupping your cheek. “I think it’s quite the opposite, actually. You’re too good for us. The things we’ve seen, the things we’ve done. We’re not good people, and yet we were blessed with an absolute angel.”

Tears gather in your eyes for a different reason now. You certainly don’t feel like an angel. You’re too broken and you’ve lied and made stupid mistakes. “I’m hardly an angel.” 

“Well, in comparison to us, you are.” He gently presses against your back, drawing you closer to his face. “Our angel, our sweet little omega.” 

A shiver runs down your spine from the way your status sounds from his lips. His hand slides to the back of your head, pulling you down so your forehead is pressed against his. You can feel his breath on your lips, your tongue darting out to wet your own in anticipation. 

He tastes like mint toothpaste, his tongue immediately pushing past the seam of your lips. His kiss steals your breath away, his hand tangling in your hair to keep you in place as he licks into your mouth. Your hand settles on his chest for balance, feeling his heart racing under your palm. 

You shift over him, throwing a leg across his hips as you settle against his chest. His hand releases your hair, tracing a line down your spine to your hips. The shirt of his you had changed into before crawling into bed with him has ridden up, revealing the lacy panties you're sporting underneath. He groans against your lips as his fingers trace over the lace before slipping underneath, tugging them lightly. 

You pull away from his lips, staring down at him. “I’m gonna need more pairs of these at this rate.” 

“We’ll have to take a trip and pick up more.” He grins, snapping the waistband against your skin. 

You bite your lip, pressing yourself up so you’re sitting over his hips. You can feel the growing bulge beneath his shorts as you begin to grind against him. He’s gone commando, your clit catching on his head through the thin fabric. Your hands press into his stomach, feeling the muscles contract as your scent thickens in the air. His hands close around your hips, guiding you as you grind against him. His eyes are hooded as he stares up at you, his teeth sinking into his lower lip. 

You stare down into those big brown eyes, getting lost in the depth of them. If you could melt yourself into him, seep under his skin and become one with him, you would. He might be the most beautiful person you’ve ever laid eyes on. He might as well be sculpted from marble, or pulled right from a piece of artwork. 

You shift so you’re leaning forward, your clit dragging against his stomach as you continue moving your hips. You grasp his chin, fingers digging into his cheeks. “You’re so fucking pretty, it’s not fair.” 

He chuckles, giving you a dazzling, perfect smile. “Thank you, love.” He wraps his arms around you, pushing himself up to sit so you drop into his lap. “But I’m nothing compared to you right now.” 

He keeps you grinding against his lap, his hands squeezing your ass as you soak the front of his shorts with every drag of your hips. Your head falls back as you moan, the friction against your clit quickly pushing you towards an orgasm. 

“Haven’t even touched you yet and got you all worked up. You could cum just like this, couldn’t you?” He nips playfully at your lips, sliding his hand down further to press against your lace covered pussy. 

You let out a whine, releasing your hold around his shoulders long enough to tug off your shirt. He curses quietly as your skin is revealed to him, his hands trailing up your back. 

“Fucking hell, love.” He groans, pushing his hips up into you. 

“Kyle,” You moan his name, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Need you.” 

He curses again, wrapping his arms around your waist for leverage as he flips you over onto your back. He sits up on his knees, trailing his hands down your sides until he reaches the waistband of your panties, trailing his fingers across the lace for a moment. 

“You alright?” He asks, checking in with you. 

You nod, lifting your feet so they press against his chest. “You gonna take them off already?” 

He grins, sliding his fingers under the waistband of your underwear, pulling them down your legs before tossing them to the floor. He parts your thighs to give himself room as he pulls off his own shorts, his cock springing free from the confining fabric. Your mouth waters as you stare at it, your teeth sinking into your lip in anticipation. 

“Fuck,” He breathes as he pushes your thighs further apart, dark eyes glued to your glistening folds. 

He slides his hands down your thighs, his thumb ghosting over your clit. Your hips jerk in response, pushing up against his hand. He chuckles, repeating the motion, watching the way your lips part in a moan. 

“Always so sensitive.” He smirks, pressing his thumb into the bundle of nerves. “Even after Price fucked you senseless a couple nights ago.” 

Your face warms at his words, your stomach fluttering excitedly. Of course they had heard you. You’ve long given up on trying to hide what goes on behind their closed doors. They all know, they already knew from the first night you spent with John. 

He had been rather rough that night, fucking you into the mattress so hard the headboard had scraped some of the prison grey paint off the walls. You had asked for it, though, both of you needing the raw, carnal release it had given you. 

“Yeah, we all heard that.” Kyle continues, slowly circling your clit with his thumb as he speaks. “Sounded like a couple of animals in there. If you hadn’t been screaming his name over and over, we might have been worried he’d mauled you to death. Simon and I had to keep Johnny occupied so he wasn’t tempted to join you.” 

Your pussy flutters at the thought of the three of them together, riled up by you and John. You can almost picture it, Johnny in Simon’s lap, bouncing on his cock while Kyle sucks him off from the front. Or did Johnny submit to both and suck Kyle’s cock while Simon took him from behind? Or was Simon more of a giver and sucked him off while Kyle fucked him? Or did Simon take both of them after making them both suck his cock? 

The endless stream of thoughts has your pussy clenching, slick dribbling out of you as your legs start to shake. It’s almost too much with the pressure against your clit, your body heating from the fire ignited in your veins. 

“Liked that, didn’t you?” Kyle smirks, removing his hand from your clit to lean down over you. “Maybe next time we’ll squeeze you in right in the middle. Would you like that?” 

You nearly cum from his words alone, your hands grasping at his shoulders. “Fuck, Kyle! I need you inside me right now.” 

“So impatient.” He tsks, leaning forward to bite at your lips. “Such a needy little omega.” 

“Please!” You almost sob, lifting your hips to press against his. “I need you.” 

He shushes you, pressing a soft kiss against your lips before sitting back up onto his knees. He shifts slightly closer to you, propping your legs up over his thighs. His hand fists his cock, pumping the hard length a couple times before he drags the head through your folds. You whine impatiently, trying to lift your hips to grind against him but he presses a hand into your stomach, pinning you against the bed. 

“Patience.” He scolds you, sending a shiver down your spine. 

He drags his head through your folds a couple more times before he finally presses into you, stretching you open. You go lax on the bed, relaxing around him as he rocks his hips into you, sinking in deeper with every movement. 

You reach for him as he sinks completely into you, pulling him down so he’s hovering over you. He presses his lips to yours, kissing you softly as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him as close as you can. His arms slip around your back as he begins grinding against you, his thrusts shallow and soft. It’s so very different from how John had taken you just a couple days ago. Kyle has always been softer, gentler, more passionate than rough and eager. 

You moan softly against his lips, your legs wrapping around his waist to keep him locked against you. You want to get closer to him, but you’re not sure you can get closer than you already are. Bodies pressed together, his cock inside you, lips pressed to yours as he holds you. There’s a prickling under your skin, an urge to devour him, to keep him here forever. He snaps his hips into you harder, his lips trailing down to your throat, sucking at the sensitive skin. You tilt your head to the side, your eyes widening as a gasp leaves your lips. Your fingers dig into Kyle’s side, his head snapping to the side, sensing the disturbance in the room. 

“Don’t stop on my account.” John leans against the closed door, a cigar in his hand. 

You’re not sure how long he’s been there, how he got in without either of you noticing. Kyle especially, since he was usually so in tune with his surroundings. Pride flashes through you at the thought of him being so lost in you, he can’t focus on anything else. The scent of tobacco washes over you as John takes a long drag from his cigar. He must not have been there long, or maybe you’ve just been so caught up in Kyle’s scent you hadn’t noticed. 

Kyle is frozen above you as John pushes off the door, approaching the bed slowly. Kyle shifts above you so he can hold John’s gaze as he stops at the edge of the bed. Excitement swirls in your stomach as you stare up at him in anticipation of what he’s going to do. His hand lifts, dragging down Kyle’s back to his ass. 

John delivers a harsh slap to his cheek, Kyle’s hips snapping into yours in response as a moan leaves his lips. “Did I tell you to stop, soldier?” 

“No, sir.” Kyle grunts out, starting to rock his hips into yours again. 

You watch the change happen almost immediately, the natural shift between them. Kyle’s not in charge anymore, quickly handing over control to John despite the fact he’s the one inside of you. It’s a subtle submission, yet you can sense the changes in them both. 

John massages Kyle’s ass for a moment before shifting so he’s closer to you. You stare up at him, lips parted as you whimper quietly. “There’s my pretty girl.” He praises you as he leans down, brushing his thumb over your lips before pushing it into your mouth. You close your lips around his thumb, sucking on it. “Such a good girl, isn’t she?” 

“Yes, sir.” Kyle grunts, continuing to thrust into you harder than he had been before. 

John takes another drag from his cigar as you moan around his thumb, your hands gripping the sheets as Kyle continues to thrust into you, the head of his cock dragging across that spot inside you from the angle he’s at. Moans slip from Kyle’s lips as you clench around him, his own hands digging into the sheets. Sweat has beaded across his forehead, a droplet sliding down his cheek to his neck, leaving a trail as it slowly drips down his chest. Drool slips out of your mouth around John’s thumb. You want to lick the sweat from his chest. You want to taste him. 

John slips his thumb from your lips, dragging it across your chin, smearing saliva all over your skin. “Look at her.” He says, moving so he’s looking over Kyle’s shoulder. “Drooling already and you haven’t even made her cum yet, have you?” His hand slips around the back of Kyle’s neck, his fingers digging into the sensitive skin. “You gonna make her cum like a good boy?” 

Kyle lets out a moan, his pace stuttering just slightly. “Yes, sir.” He grits out, picking up the pace as he slams into that spot inside you with every movement. 

John takes a step back, continuing to smoke as he watches the two of you. It’s almost too much between Kyle fucking you and John watching. There’s a coil tightening in your stomach, the pleasure intensifying more and more. A fire has started under your skin, your eyes glued to John’s as Kyle pushes you closer and closer to the peak. 

You hold John’s gaze as you cum, your back arching in pleasure. Kyle doesn’t stop, continuing to thrust into you as he chases his own high. 

John waits until your moans have died down before he moves, stubbing out his cigar on Kyle’s nightstand before he grasps Kyle by the hips, stopping his movements. “Switch places with our girl.” He murmurs into Kyle’s ear, Kyle taking a second to breathe before he wraps his arms around you, flipping you back around so you’re on top again as John kicks off his shoes. 

Your hands press into Kyle’s stomach to hold yourself steady, your legs still shaking from your orgasm. John climbs on the bed behind you, his clothed chest pressing against your bare, sweat slicked back. 

“Gonna be a good girl and make him cum?” John says quietly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

A shiver runs down your spine as you nod, starting to rock your hips just slightly. John’s hands settle on your waist, helping you move as you begin to bounce on Kyle’s cock. Kyle’s eyes are wide as he watches you and his alpha, John pressing kisses across your shoulders and neck as he helps you fuck his beta. Kyle’s hands grip your thighs, fingers indenting the skin as he holds on for dear life. 

“That’s it.” John praises you, shifting your body forward just slightly so Kyle’s cock drags across that spot inside you with your every movement. You clench around him, your thighs tightening around his hips. 

“Fuck...” Kyle moans, his own hips bucking up into yours. 

“Gonna make him cum?” John asks, his hands abandoning your hips. One snakes around your stomach to rub your clit while the other slips behind you to squeeze Kyle's balls. 

Kyle lets out a loud moan, his hips snapping up against yours as your walls clamp tightly around him. You can feel the warm ropes of his release spurting inside you, increasing the pressure as you cum a second time on his cock. 

John works you both through your orgasms, your entire body shaking by the time he releases you, pushing you forward against Kyle's chest. You lay there, your cheek pressed against his sweaty skin, ass in the air right in John's face. He watches as Kyle's seed begins to seep out of you, forced out by the aftershocks of your orgasm. He drags his fingers through your folds, gathering Kyle's cum before pushing it back into you. You moan softly from the stretch of his fingers against your sensitive walls, pushing your hips back against his hand.

“Don't want to waste any of that.” John says, nipping at the globe of your ass cheek. “You know Kyle likes to clean you up himself.”

You let out a quiet moan, your pussy fluttering around John’s fingers. You’re about to be in for a very long night. 

Taglist:

@bobaprint @ashy-kit @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @hayleybarnes

@protokosmonaut @fruitymoonbeams-blog @blue-blue0 @hindi-si-ikay @thatonepupkai

@redwites @kattiieee @141trash @lothiriel9 @dillybuggg

@beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff

@smile-child-13 @anomiatartle @dangerkittenclaws @bless-my-demons @mystic60

@evolutionarry @red-hydra @lunaetiicsaystuff @linaangel @codsunshine

@thriving-n-jiving @slayerx147 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @cityoffallencrows

@ttsbaby01 @heeheehoohoohahahihi @sleepyoriana @ihatethinkingofnames10 @cassiecasluciluce

@darling006 @sheep-from-rad @ohgodthebogisback @willow-sages @scythemood

@daniblogs164 @mirzamsaiph 

#call of duty #call of duty fic #cod x reader #task force 141 x reader #poly tf 141 #poly task force 141 #John price x reader #captain John price x reader #Kyle gaz Garrick x reader #gaz x reader #Johnny soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #Simon ghost Riley x reader #Simon Riley x reader #a/b/o #omegaverse #alpha/beta/omega

[imaluckygirl]

⭑ cool with you

( enhypen scenario )

synopsis: your boyfriend favorite moments with you when he’s at home.

( 엔하이픈 ) - hyungline!fem.reader ( maknae ver. ) ; fluff & domestic ୨ৎ back to the bookshelf . . .

heeseung : watching you sleep & late night kisses

alright, i’ll try to make a quick mix with this two topics i brought up: after a stressful day the only thing heeseung needs is you. and he is the one who, while all the members are fast asleep, he’s still in the practice room. so he arrives at home CRAVING for you. however, when he sees you already asleep — except he can still see you tried to wait for him to get home because you are without a blanket covering you and your feet named — he just chuckle and gets underneath the blanket and covers you with it too.

and well, since he doesn’t have the opportunity to see your face every single second, he just lays on bed and stares at you with a grin, realising how lucky he is. and, if you wake up somehow, the late night kisses will make sure you’re back asleep. even more awake

‘the watching you sleep’ thing also counts in the morning! when heeseung wakes up to get ready and go to work, he makes sure he sets his alarm a bit earlier so he can enjoy watching you sleep. your cute snores are the sweetest melody he has ever heard. — can’t finish this without mentioning ( even though is not mentioned above ) the way he snuggles his head onto your neck when you wake up before he can entirely appreciate the view of your pretty face, feeling shy but happy you could give him some cuddles before he leaves to work.

jongseong : humming a sweet melody to help you sleep

having troubles to sleep was something common in your life, even before jongseong came into your life. always waking up in the middle of the night, having a plenty of nightmares, or sometimes not even closing your eyes. however, jongseong didn’t know about this before, until the day he saw you up at three in the morning and asked what you were doing. and when you simply told him you were having trouble to sleep, he knew he had to do something about it.

so one day he knew you had a stressful week and you had to have a great night of sleep, he spooned you on bed and placed sweet kisses onto your jaw and temples, starting to hum a calm melody. that melody was so calming that you were already fast asleep in two minutes — and even snoring because of how tired you were, but he didn’t care; he just wanted to see the love of his life resting properly and peacefully.

conclusion: whenever he sees you having troubles to sleep, he cuddles you and hums a sweet melody to you; without forgetting to place a soft kiss on your cheek, forehead or lips before you fall asleep. and, surprisingly, it always worked, becoming a part of his night routine: make you sleep tight in his arms.

jaeyun : watching you get ready & cuddling with you ( feat. layla )

your boyfriend just loves watching you get ready to go out with him, knowing he will show off his pretty baby. even though he says he will still find you pretty with whatever you’re wearing — even saying you would look pretty with a pickle costume —, jaeyun’s eyes shine brightly when he sees you wearing a dreamy or flowy dress, especially when he knows he was the one who bought it for you.

and oh gosh, he loves watching you apply lipstick as well, asking for a kiss right after you applied it. he doesn’t care if his lips are sticky because of the glossy lip oil you applied or how red and swollen his lips look after kissing your red coloured lips. “i’ll fix your lipstick for you baby.” jaeyun would say with a embarrassed grin after smudging your hard work ( applying red lipstick ).

jaeyun is a clingy boyfriend, so he loves cuddling you. it could be on the sofa or on bed, he just wants to have you by his side. tapping the sofa twice to call layla while you were already laid — melting into a smile watching this scene because of how happy you were with your little family. and then, after layla lays down on the sofa — on you guys feet — jaeyun knew you were dying to finally cuddle with him, so your boyfriend pets layla’s head — placing a kiss on the same spot. “my baby is so cute.” he giggled after placing a kiss onto layla’s head, laying himself on the sofa to hug you. “hi my other baby.” and finally he smashes his lips onto yours.

sunghoon : back hugs in the morning & having his meals w you

as much as sunghoon is not really into physical touch, he absolutely loves how intimate back hugs in the morning are. and i’m not JUST talking about bed back hugs, but back hugs at the kitchen while you make breakfast — because mostly of the time sunghoon don’t stay in the same position while he’s asleep — just hits different. his nose detects the smell of fresh pancakes being made and he immediately goes downstairs in silence to surprise you with a hug. even though he hugs you like this every time, you always gasp and turn your head, being met with two sleepy eyes and cute pursed lips. sunghoon is most likely to tell you to keep your attention on whatever you’re making, but it’s hard when your boyfriend starts placing soft kisses on your shoulder and cheek; snuggling his nose onto your neck afterwards.

another thing sunghoon just ugh loves and gets all giddy is having his meals with you. i can’t explain it very well or make a long explanation why he likes it, but i think it just makes him feel loved in some kinda way? like, he knows he usually isn’t the most touchy person, so when he sees you still love and cares about him makes him feel happy, feeling like he is accepted by the way he is and how he shows he love — like he doesn’t have to force himself to be someone he isn’t just to make you feel butterflies? anyways, having his meals with you just makes sunghoon’s days more enjoyable, and that was a fact.

© imaluckygirl , originals .ᐟ 24.

taglist : @ no-one .

#enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #fluff #enhypen headcanons #enhypen heeseung #enhypen sunghoon #heeseung x reader #hyung line #sunghoon x you #sunghoon headcanons #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon x reader #domestic fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen au #heeseung x you #heeseung headcanons #enhypen jaeyun #sim jaeyun x reader #jaeyun scenarios #jaeyun x reader #jake x reader #jongseong x reader #jongseong fluff #enhypen jongseong #jongseong imagines #enhypen imagines #jaeyun fluff #jaeyun imagines

[for-ests]

Suffocation: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Suffocation MLIST Summary: Time spent apart from Gojo means time spent with the students. That is, until your powers awaken. ps,, new chapter leaks?? we are so back!!! <3 Wc: 6, 500

The two of you, in fact, never got the chance to talk about it. You had fallen asleep on the couch, this time without him but with the students and your brother. As Gojo passed the common room on his way out, he thought about waking you to say goodbye. But you looked so peaceful leaning against the armrest, with Yuji curled beside you like a kitten. 

The fact that Nobara, let alone Megumi, felt comfortable enough to do the same made Gojo's heart swell. All of them leaned against each other until it fell on you, your arms once spread wide but now curling into your chest, a peaceful smile spreading across your dream-filled face. 

All he could do was pull out his phone and snap a picture, hoping he would get close enough with you to show it someday. To really make you understand that you were the missing piece in all of their lives. You would be a great mother. You would be a fantastic wife. You were everything and more.

Time did not matter; only the impact did. And what a crater you would leave behind. 

What was this feeling? 

Gojo allowed himself to steal one more look at you before returning to the duties he dreaded. It was convenient to be the most powerful sorcerer for once, as he deliberately teleported back to leave a present on your vanity, praying you would miss him as much as he would miss you in the next few days. Hoping you would understand. 

When you woke, Gojo was already gone. And as you checked your phone later in the morning, you found his message. 

Annoying ass teacher guy:> Will be back in a few days. Don't miss me too much, princess. 

He imagined that since you were around the students, you would try to hide your blush as well as you could before typing back a witty reply with ease. 

Yuji’s sister </3:> And if I miss you too much? 

Annoying ass teacher guy:> I don't want you to be sad, but that might make what i'll do to you even more special ;) 

Yuji’s sister </3:> you flirt 

Annoying ass teacher guy:> check your desk 

"Ugh!! Nanamiiiinnn!" Gojo sighed dramatically, flinging himself next to Nanami on the couch. It was idiotic with how anxious he was for your reply. 

"What Gojo?" he grumbled, tersely flipping the page of his book. 

"I won't see her for three days!" he whined. "Will she remember who I am?" 

"The fact that she texted you back should be your answer," Nanami sighed, dismissing his friend's behavior as another joke. He didn't even know who Gojo was talking about, as he had already tuned out the teasing and nonchalance all morning. "Keep in mind we are here for work." 

"We're done with work for the day, so you dont have an excuse to not listen to me." 

Nanami put his book down, heaving a sigh. "Fine, spit it out." 

A long silence passed as Gojo gathered his thoughts, deciding to start from the beginning. He didn't know if Yuji had said anything to Nanami yet about your arrival, but it didn't matter. Gojo wanted to talk about you; hell, he needed to. Just to think about something else, anything to get your face out of his mind. Talking about it had to help, right? His emotions were always bottled up, but this feeling… this one, was unlike any other. 

Plus, Nanami had always been good with women. Advice shouldn't hurt, even if he was seeking it out from the person who would be harshest with him. It was needed. 

And so, Gojo decided to ramble as he described your arrival, abilities, relation to Yuji, and what the two of you had already gone through in a week. The last thing he added was your beauty, which was definitely worth asseverating. 

"She's all I can think about," he repined. 

Nanami deadpanned. "You've only known her for a week," he said without thinking, but then really reflected on how Gojo was acting, how he talked about you, and how he said your name. There was a deep yearning, carefully covered with humor and dramatics. Had he ever seriously cared for a woman this much before? Nanami couldn't think of a time. Gojo was his usual, over-dramatic self, but Nanami noticed the differences. It was in the way Gojo moved, the slight uncertainty in his eyes, and how relieved his body language became once he finished his tangent. 

Even just the description of you intrigued Nanami. Yes, it was astonishing to hear that Yuji had a sister and even more surprising to discover you had unique, undocumented cursed energy. 

"You think the flowers were too much?" 

"You bought a woman flowers?" Nanami's cold demeanor cracked into one of surprise. Then, he awkwardly cleared his throat to cover. "Absolutely not; flowers are a very safe choice." 

"Seriously, is it that surprising?" Gojo sighed in defeat. "Why is everyone so surprised? I went on dates all the time, I know how to please a woman!"

"Not that you couldn't do it, but chose to." 

That caused Gojo to fall silent. How his friend was able to read him so clearly was astonishing in itself. He was right, and that's what bothered Gojo. He had walked through life expecting never to feel this way, as he didn't have the time or energy to keep a woman by his side long enough for it to be worth it, let alone labeled. But with you, he wanted to. All he needed was for you to say yes. 

Watching Gojo's eyebrows furrow, the realization spreading across his face, Nanami continued. "I know you've been with women before, but it actually seems like you deeply care for her. In the decade I've known you, I've never seen you like this." 

"There's just something about her." Gojo twirled his phone between his fingers. Staring off into the distance. "I don't know what to do." 

"Why wouldn't you know what to do?" 

Part of Gojo was still determining whether he should allow himself to entertain the thought of you. Was this smart? Was he being fooled in a way he never thought possible? It was hard to trust, but you had never made him uneasy. Sometimes, you only need to look at a person to understand their intentions. And yours were pure. 

But Gojo had been fooled before. All that distrust came flooding back as he thought of your unique ability. You somehow slipped past his infinity, and it frustrated him. He had let his guard down around you without realizing it. It was as simple as breathing when you were near. You weren't just beautiful and kind; you were also powerful. A road that could prove treacherous if he didn't play his cards right, not just for him but for everyone who relied on him, too. 

"I've never felt this way before." 

"And why are you making that seem like a bad thing?" 

"Have you ever pictured me with a woman by my side?" 

"I sure hoped and prayed that there was someone who could put you in your place." 

Reluctantly, Gojo finally asked the question that mattered most. "What if I hurt her?" 

"You probably will, but that's just how relationships go sometimes. Especially with a life as complicated as ours. Whether she can handle it or not, is up to her." 

Gojo soaked in Nanami's words, ultimately concluding that he was worrying too much. If it was meant to be, it would. Right? 

Everything eventually worked itself out, and he hoped that it could end in you being his alone. What wishful thinking. 

"You know what Nanamin?" Gojo glanced over at his friend and coworker. "You're right." 

And once Nanami saw that mischievous smile spread back across Gojo's face, he knew everything was back to normal. He shook his head, the slightest smile threatening to grace his lips. But Gojo knew he was hiding it when the corners of his eyes crinkled. 

"Why do you look so smug?" 

"I just can't believe that someone is willing to date you." 

"You are so mean!" Gojo whined again, standing up from the couch and walking sluggishly to the exit as if he had been physically wounded. "I'll prove you wrong, Nanamin. Next time we meet she'll be in love with me." 

And then, his phone pinged a message from you. 

Y/N<3:> I love it, Satoru. 

Curious, you wandered back into your room after breakfast. His message had left you operating at half capacity from the anticipation of it all. As soon as you opened the door, your eyes darted to your desk, where you found a bouquet of roses. The most beautiful bundle you'd ever seen. 

There was a vase with a note attached. Picking it up with one hand, the other thumbed over the soft, ruby petals. As you finished the note, a permanent smile spread across your face for the rest of the day. 

Keep the vase beautiful. As long as you're here, you won't go a week without flowers. - Satoru 

One day turned into two, and you couldn't configure why it made you sad. It really shouldn't. Gojo's absence should be acceptable to you, but the longing in your chest told you otherwise. 

Yuji claimed he was just on an emergency assignment and assured you it was normal. None of the students or staff seemed to bat an eye at his absence either. It allowed you to settle in without distractions and gave you more free time to befriend Yuji and the students. They trained with you, taught you what they knew, and refused to leave you alone for over an hour. In fact, they made your apartment their new hangout spot. They claimed it was cozy and smelled good, and you were too nice to refuse their company. 

A gigantic beanbag had been brought in, and they were taking advantage of your Nintendo Switch games while you skimmed through a textbook peacefully on your bed. The campus library was a perfect resource, filled with specific literary curse techniques you couldn’t find elsewhere. You were learning so much, not just about jujutsu but also about yourself and your abilities. If only you could uncover the link between them all. 

The sound effects of Mario Kart and the focused grunts of the students filled the room. The race ended, and Yuji sighed in defeat. “Are you sure you don’t wanna get in on this, Y/N?” he asked, head falling to the beanbag as he stared at you upside down. 

“I need to study!” you chuckled. “Maybe next time?” 

“Gojo should be back tonight, maybe he’ll join.” Megumi shrugged, already forcing the three of them into another tournament. You couldn’t help but perk up slightly at the mention of the white-haired sorcerer. He hadn’t told you when he’d return, and you couldn’t deny how badly you wanted to talk with him. 

“But he always wins!” Yuji groaned. 

“Oh?” you snorted. “So you only want me to join so you can beat me?”

Yuji snapped his head up, laughing nervously. “No I promise!” 

Sticking your tongue out, your eyes returned to the textbook in your lap. 

Nobara watched you closely before the match started, and your reaction to the mention of her Sensei confirmed her suspicions. Your sudden smile was also a dead giveaway. 

“I bet Y/N would join if Gojo was here~” she teased, snickering to herself. 

That definitely interrupted your train of thought, and you immediately became flustered. At least one person noticed something was going on.

“What makes you say that?” you squeaked, mentally smacking yourself for how obvious you sounded, cheeks already beginning to burn. There was no reason for you to be nervous about it. Yes, Gojo was their teacher… but you were an adult and had no previous affiliation with him to make it scandalous. A relationship with Gojo might only be weird if Yuji was uncomfortable. Would he be? Were you thinking way too much about it?

You were definitely jumping to conclusions. Gojo probably didn’t feel the same way about you. Gifts could only get him so far. His nickname for you and how he touched you didn’t necessarily mean he wanted what you did. 

Then you remembered what he did to you before he left. And your anxiety spiked once again. 

“You like him, do you not?” Nobara pried through a lighthearted laugh, even if she couldn’t understand. The thought made her want to barf. You were way too good for him. But her Sensei had his perks, and maybe, just maybe, he deserved someone like you in his life.  

Fuck. You really wished Gojo was there to do the talking, to make it seem like a joke, to deflect the accusation with his ridiculous and ambiguous humor. You were so unsure about everything, but especially Gojo. You didn’t know him well enough yet, you didn’t know the students well enough to put a label on anything. “I mean…” you trailed off, trying to sound nonchalant. “What's not to like?” 

Megumi facepalmed, knowing what was about to happen. 

“You like-like Gojo Sensei?” Yuji asked in confusion, almost dropping the switch remote. 

Your hands shot up in defense, growing frantic and flustered when all three students craned their heads to stare at you. “I dont know?” 

“Oh my God,” Megumi sighed in defeat. “She does.” 

“Really?” Yuji blinked multiple times, glancing at his friends and then back to you, wondering if he’d been too oblivious to realize. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” 

“You both are so dumb sometimes.” Nobara pinched her nose. “Who do you think got her those roses on her desk?” 

They all turned their heads to look at your desk, which, in fact, still displayed the flamboyant bouquet of red roses placed neatly in a glass vase. It was so obvious. Of course, Nobara would notice something like that. 

“It’s not what it looks like…” you tittered, wanting to run into your closet and hide from the embarrassment of it all. 

“I assumed it was just a friendly welcoming gift!” Yuji fussed in response to being called dumb. 

“Red is the color of love, idiot,” Megumi sighed. 

Yuji slumped further into the bean bag, releasing an even more exasperated sigh than Megumi. He wasn’t upset about it, only frustrated that he wasn’t the first to notice and ask you about it. Days passed, and nobody said a word about something so important. Gojo liked you? Like that? 

“Have you kissed?” Nobara pried further, desperate to hear the gossip. 

You didn’t reply, trying to hide the bashful smile that threatened to spread across your face by biting down on your lip. You did more than just kiss, but you would keep that to yourself. Even if you didn’t say anything, what you felt was displayed in your expression. Why were you so bad at lying? 

Nobara threw her head back with a cackle, nudging Yuji in his side. “How do you feel Yuji? Gojo likes your sister!” 

Your brother seemed to ponder for a minute longer than you hoped for, but all he did was shrug and admit, “I’m surprised,” he said, but then smiled at you with kindness and understanding in his eyes. “If that’s what you want Y/N. I’m okay with it.” 

“Really?” Your mouth dropped open. “It's not weird?” you asked none of them in particular. 

“I don’t think it's weird,” Megumi finally butted in. “Gojo can be a good person when he wants to be.” 

“Yeah!” Yuji beamed at you, thinking it funny that you would consider his feelings in the matter. “You don’t need to worry about how I would feel. You’re my sister, but only as of recently. You deserve to be with who you want!” 

What a gentle, kind, and loving soul your brother was. How could he be so sweet at such a young age? It had taken you far longer to open yourself up, to trust, and seek happiness. He made it seem easy, as if he hadn’t endured his own trauma of death and separation. 

“Thanks, Yuji.” You smiled back at him, relaxing back to your previous, unbothered demeanor. “I’ll take that into consideration.” 

“That’s it?” Nobara sighed. “No more details?” 

“No more details.” You scrunched your face at her teasingly. “Once I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.” 

“Boooooo,” she jeered, picking up a remote and leaning back toward Yuji. “At least we have something to blackmail Gojo with now,” she whispered loud enough for you to hear. 

Yuji chuckled at that, and so did Megumi. They all continued to play their game, and you went back to reading your book. You smiled as you scanned through the lines and jotted down notes about domain expansions. According to Gojo, they were a rare occurrence, but it was wise to be as prepared as possible. You remembered as much as you could about his—how awakened and alive you felt. A cursed spirit would be a different story, though. And you preferred to not think more about it just yet. You only hoped you would never be trapped in one. 

About to turn another page, you felt that all too familiar rush of dread. 

No…not right now. It was too soon. 

A gasp left your lips, and you went rigid. Before you could even think to warn Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara of what they were about to witness, the upper portion of your body violently snapped back into the bed. 

The headboard smacked against the wall loud enough to alert the students. One breath was all you could take before a sudden coldness infected every portion of your body. Then, you began to cease, all control of your body vanishing. 

“Y/N?” Yuji immediately shot up from the beanbag, followed by his duo. They all rushed to your bed as if sensing the pressure in the room change. The candle you had burning blew out as Yuji scooped his hands under your head, trying his best to cradle you. “What’s wrong?” 

“Is she okay?” Megumi barked, eyes wide in concern. Nobara’s eyes shot to the now-smoking candle. 

A few more spasms ricocheted through your body, and you grit your teeth in an attempt to relax. All you needed to speak was a few strained sentences. Your body was so stiff, and you could feel your hands clench. Your eyes started to droop before you could stop them. 

“N…Notebook…” you stuttered, trying to gesture to the only one sitting on your desk. “And quill!” you forced out. It clicked without further explaining for Megumi, and he snatched them and brought them to you. 

Yuji, on the other hand, was frantic, shouting your name over and over again. Nobara was reaching for her cell phone, yelling about calling an ambulance. 

“Normal!” you cried out, shaking uncontrollably. “It's normal…” You went limp in Yuji’s arms and were finally able to rush out what you needed. “Don’t call anyone–”  you strained. 

It wasn’t a typical seizure; you knew it. Your body contorted in ways that looked painful and unnatural, and you knew you were scaring them. This was the first time you were losing control in front of others. Tears started gathering in the corner of your eyes from the fear of it all, from the judgment and the embarrassment. 

Then, your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you ceased again. It would continue to happen until you picked up that stupid quill. You felt helpless, not just for yourself but for your poor brother, who was now about to witness just how strange you really were. 

The last thing you felt was Megumi sliding the quill into your enclosed grip. 

Gojo felt the shift before he opened your door, the gifts he brought back for you and the students falling to the floor as he burst through it, freezing as his eyes settled on your contorted body. You were utterly still, the only part of you moving was your hand, metal tip scribbling against the paper. The sound of it was abhorrent as if every etch foretold destruction. Invisible dread hung in the air, undoubtedly coming from whatever prophecy you were weaving.

But your eyes were what scared him. They were completely rolled back into your head, so much so that the blood vessels looked as if they were going to burst. You suddenly began to twitch violently, making Yuji gasp with concern, making Gojo rush to your side, dancing along a frantic line. 

“Gojo Sensei!” Megumi turned to him with wide eyes. “What’s happening?” 

“It's okay!” He approached you as if he was in a trance, and the students moved aside. He didn’t know if you were okay if this was normal or expected. You had only summarized these episodes briefly. 

Once he was at your side, his knees gave out. He felt almost paralyzed, gazing at you in such apparent pain and unable to think of a way to fix it. This was an undiscovered form of cursed energy. He tried desperately to scan through his memories for one instance of something similar but came up with nothing. 

“She was fine just a second ago,” Nobara muttered in shock, glancing around as if she could solve it and relieve your predicament. 

“Did she say anything before?” Gojo asked, eyebrows knitting with worry. 

“T-That it was normal,” Yuji said, standing behind Gojo with a worried, distraught expression, noticing how his Sensei’s eyebrows furrowed as if he, too, was at a loss for what to do. Yuji couldn’t recall a time when Gojo was confused, let alone displayed such concern. 

Gojo relaxed slightly but still reached out and adjusted your pillow to support your neck. At that point, he didn’t care if his students watched him reach out and caress your cheek. He was so worried. It didn’t matter if you had warned him about something like this. The way you twitched and gasped and the tears that still poured from the corners of your eyes made him furious. 

Glancing at the notebook that your quill was scratching erratically on, Gojo still found it blank even as he used his six eyes. “I saw her last prophecy. But I can't see anything yet. I think she has to finish,” he whispered, grasping your other hand to let you know he was there for you. 

Faintly, your pinky finger twitched against his palm, curving around his own finger before going limp again. Then, you twitched, a loud gasp heaving from your throat. 

“Something is coming,” was all you said, eyes still rolled back before you shot up into a sitting position. It seemed impossible, but you began to scratch faster as your cursed energy burst to life, almost engulfing the entire room. All-consuming was the green aura, and the surprise of it all caused Gojo to jolt back. Nobara yelped in fright. 

When everyone glanced back at you, they realized the notebook was floating, so were you and the loose items around you. And now, your eyes were glowing. Your aura was so unique, so rare. It was calming when it should be everything but. 

The quill left the paper and began to brush more fluidly, calmly, and peacefully into the open space around you. Trying to focus, Gojo started to understand what you were actually doing. As beautiful as it was, the Kanji began to flow together to cast a spell. An ancient one, not a prophecy. 

It felt like a mirage, as if Gojo was stepping through a rainbow. Beautiful colors, your beautiful face. The depths of your soul. The parts of you he craved to know. He saw flashes of you, moments that hadn't happened yet but felt like they were meant to. Your smile, your kindness, loyalty, and trust. Love was what it was. And he had so much of it to give. He would die for you in a heartbeat; he would do anything to keep that pretty smile on your face. He imagined himself holding you, imagined how amazing it would feel to call you his wife—he saw himself getting down on one knee, that expensive ring sparkling from inside a black velvet box. With tears streaming down your face, you nodded furiously. “I love you so much, Satoru.” 

“Gojo what are you doing?” Megumi’s voice interrupted his vision, tinged with panic and warning. 

The promised future vanished as quickly as it came, as Gojo realized he was holding your face, and you were holding his. No, not just his face; the fingers of your left hand were curled around his blindfold, and your right hand had begun to tug at the knot. You had almost slipped past the infinity that protected his soul. And you would have done it with ease. 

Surprised, Gojo tugged his head back. And at the loss of contact, you gasped. A cry left your lips as the cursed energy you released shot back inside of you, snapping your body back to the bed. The silence that followed was deafening, and all anyone could hear was the sound of their pounding hearts, trying desperately to clear their minds of the haze your aura commanded. 

The students and teacher all glanced at each other with dazed expressions. Glossy eyes and opened mouths proved that all of them had seen something, not just Gojo. 

“What did you see Yuji?” Gojo asked, snapping back to reality faster than them. He knew you were okay by the steadiness of your breathing but was still cautious to get too close again. 

Your brother blinked, still trying to comprehend what he’d seen. It felt so genuine and authentic like it had happened before. “I was sitting next to Y/N at a large dinner table. We all were…toasting to something. I don’t know what, but I was so happy. She told me how proud she was to be my sister. There were others there too but I couldn’t see their faces. You were on the other side of her, Sensei.” 

Gojo’s eyes snapped to the others, taking note of Yuji’s explanation. A different vision, but similar to his—both of their visions highlight a relationship to you. 

Megumi could feel Gojo’s gaze on him, knowing he’d been asked a question, but couldn’t muster a response. He knew he looked like a deer in the headlights, sort of how Yuji and Nobara both did. But instead of being able to explain what flashed through his mind, Megumi just swallowed hard in hopes of distracting himself from the pang in his chest.

There was no way, just no way. What had he even seen? Was it the future? Was it something he wanted and didn’t even know? All he knew was that the mirage had cracked the second he called you mom. Megumi had called you mom. There were no words to describe the feeling that constricted at his throat and prevented him from speaking. What he saw was you resting under a tree, nestled between his demon dogs and reading a book. They had grown a liking to you, just as he had. 

“I need them for training, mom,” Megumi called over, rolling his eyes. 

“But I’m so comfy!” you whined, and the dogs snorted in agreement. 

“When you’re done, please let me know.” 

What did that even mean? How did that happen?  Regardless, the gaping hole of belongingness cracked open further. And as Megumi ruminated over what he’d seen, he was left even more confused. 

“We were shopping for…clothes…” Nobara finally said, but stopped before finishing. She intentionally broke her Sensei's focus after noticing the turmoil and confusion in Megumi’s eyes. The unanticipated vision was confusing her, too. The two of you had been shopping for baby clothes. And as she thought harder, she realized you had a slight baby bump poking through your sundress. The floppy summer hat you wore could not conceal the happiness in your eyes as you looked at her, wondering which outfit she thought was the cutest. After she gave her advice, you replied, “You’re gonna be the best auntie ever.” 

Was this a glimpse of the future? And if so, did the others have a similar premonition like hers? 

Dazed, you finally opened your eyes. The overhead light blinded you, only for a moment, before you remembered where you were and who you were surrounded with. Tears slipped past your eyelids before you could stop them. There were so many emotions and questions racing through your entire body that it would be impossible to properly formulate them. You were shaking still, feeling like you were being chased out of an incredible high. A high that reached its peak and was crashing down, leaving you distraught and fatigued. 

“I’m sorry!” you choked out between gasps, feeling like you were suffocating, sitting up to see all of them staring at you with apprehensive eyes. “I-I’m sorry—”

“It’s okay,” Gojo immediately rushed back to your side, grasping your failing hands and pressing them softly into your lap. “Take a deep breath. It’s okay.” 

Nodding furiously with tears streaming down your face, you inhaled sharply, his touch instantly soothing you. 

“Slower.” Gojo nodded. “It’s okay.” 

Feeling the pounding in your ears start to fade, you swallowed, mustering a sad smile as you glanced at him. He looked so worried from what you could see on his face, and it made a peculiar hollowness reside within your thoughts, realizing you had ruined his arrival. Your surroundings were different, too. Your books and supplies were strewn across the floor, along with presents at the entrance to your room. Had Gojo brought home gifts? 

“I don’t know what happened. That’s never happened before.” 

Your expression of paranoia explained enough to the white-haired sorcerer. Was that look in your eyes one of guilt? What could you possibly feel guilty for? Were you afraid he wouldn't believe you? 

“I believe you,” Gojo whispered, releasing his hands from covering yours. He hesitated, wanting to comfort you more, but relented. You probably needed your space anyway. There was no clear answer for what just happened, and you were nonplussed, looking to him for answers he couldn’t give you. At least, not immediately, but he would try his best. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Yuji questioned as he crossed the room, taking the opportunity to comfort you now that Gojo backed away. “Are you hurt?” 

Remaining silent as Yuji gave you a hug, Gojo watched the two of you interact, mostly Yuji fussing over you, asking over and over again if you were okay. “No, no, I’m fine.” You tried your best to smile at your brother.

“Are you sure?” Gojo pressed further, recognizing the uncertainty in your eyes. This was a shock to everyone, Gojo especially, unsure how to feel about the glimpse into his future. Was it wise for him to know something that important? His feelings for you were already passional, and he was undeniably infatuated with you. A seer with comparable powers hadn’t been born in centuries, so the validity of your visions was unknown. But, visions were more tangible and easier to understand than prophecies. Was this a promise or a hint? Could it be changed based on the choices he made? 

“Do you remember what happened?” Gojo finally asked after a stretch of silence. 

Shaking your head, you looked over at the notebook beside you. The energy was palpable, and it was coming from it. You pushed it across the bed and nodded at him to take it. Part of you was scared to read its contents, from the impartial images that flashed through your mind, from the inexplicability of it all and the lack of understanding. What scared you the most, though, was that you were certain. What you saw was going to happen eventually. You didn’t know when or how it would happen, but it would. None of your predictions ever failed to come true. 

Scanning the words, Gojo sat down on the bed next to you. He seemed calmer than you, acting like what he witnessed was an everyday experience. Somehow, it helped settle your thoughts. If he wasn't worried, there was no reason for you to be either. The trust you were developing for him only resonated deeper. 

The students huddled around Gojo, trying to peak over his shoulder for a glimpse of the cursed energy. 

“Let me see it!” Yuji whined. 

That managed to make you laugh through your nose. 

As soon as the sky is colored green, 

The chosen one will realize their blindness

Souls will clash and die, but love will blossom

Children of clans from old fight demons that seek redemption, 

The day the king returns, all hope will be lost until she aw—a. A. Awake. Awaken—अहं भाषा वदामि। त्मरक्षा एव वास्तविकशक्ति

संरक्षण-संरक्षण-आह्वानम्-नरके मृत्योः च मुक्तं अवगच्छन्त

रक्षणार्थं आह्वानम्-नरकेभ्यः मृत्योः च मुक्तम्

Death rebirths life

You saw what you'd written, the look of bewilderment on their faces, and the deafening silence that followed. Snatching the journal from Gojo, you brought it closer to get a better look. 

“What language is that?” Nobara asked with furrowed eyebrows. 

“It’s sanskrit,” Gojo replied lowly, confusion lacing his tone. Something odd was definitely happening. Only the oldest spells were written in that dead language, long before humans gained a proper understanding of what jujutsu entailed. He couldn’t understand all the words, only bits and pieces, referencing the oldest spells recorded in history. 

“I-I don’t understand.” Your eyes glossed over with worry. “I don’t know Sanskrit.” 

“I think only a few people do,” Megumi added. 

“It looks like something hijacked your prophecy.” Gojo pointed out, noticing the green color fade from your cursed energy into something black and ancient. He pointed at one symbol. “This means I create.” He moved down the line. “And this means protection.” 

“A protection spell?” Nobara muttered. 

This felt too familiar, and the revelation was on the tip of Gojo’s tongue. Long ago, there was a clan of witches comprised entirely of women. Remnants of their bloodline still remained, but it had been hundreds of years since they were in power. Most of their history remained undocumented, but they specialized in prophecy and ancestral magic. Gojo skimmed through his memory, trying to recall the last written prophecy from the supreme. 

Gojo looked at you, and it clicked into place. 

A low, sinking feeling settled in your stomach. 

“I need to speak with Y/N alone,” Gojo said to the students, not leaving room for debate. His tone was so firm that they reluctantly scrambled for the exit without protest. 

Yuji glanced back at you hesitantly. Concern was engraved in his expression. He mouthed, text me before shutting the door behind him. You and Gojo listened to their footsteps scurrying down the hall, and he didn’t turn toward you until he heard all of their doors click shut. The scarcity they left behind was apparent, and you were growing nervous about what he would say.  

“Do you know anything about your family history?” 

All you could do was shake your head. 

“I had my suspicions that you were more powerful, but now I’m suspecting you’ve been chosen as a conduit. What happened during your episode is called an emergence.” 

Your demeanor stiffened. “What does that mean?” 

“It could mean a lot of things. There hasn’t been a seer of your potential for centuries. There’s definitely a mix of bloodlines happening, as Yuji is Sukuna’s vessel and can remain in control of his body. You on the other hand, the eldest daughter, might be a descendant of a long-defunct clan that hasn’t been in power since Sukuna’s defeat, which they helped aid in. You are clearly vulnerable when you’re recording your prophecies, and I believe the Sanskrit was one of your ancestors taking that opening. I only know that it could be a protection spell, but we should have it translated just to make sure.” He paused. "

“How do you know this?” 

“It’s only a theory so far. But the gift of prophecy is yours alone. The words you wrote… Will come true, all things considered,” Gojo trailed off, losing his train of thought. He wanted to tell you what you’d shown him and that the students had clearly seen something. But he didn't move; he barely even breathed. Ruminating over how beautiful you looked in that vision almost stopped his heart. He wasn't trying to be funny or flirty. He looked just as concerned and embarrassed as you, wishing he had the answers as always. But it seemed that only more questions arose when it came to you. 

Gojo’s body language seemed conflicted. Maybe you were more spot-on than you assumed. 

“Won't they?” he pried. 

“I hope not.” You glanced away, only remembering the words of demise, scribbled over and over again before a dead language emerged, further adding to the confusion of your connection to this life. If Gojo's prediction was correct, it would strengthen the hopeless feeling rising in your chest that your entire life was a lie. How you now looked at yourself was anything but satisfactory, unaware of the promise of a better future that Gojo glimpsed. 

A gift, like he said, but also a curse that you would never wish upon another. Every day that passed made you question if foresight really was a blessing. 

All Gojo could configure was how tired you looked. A lifetime of information had been dumped on you within an hour. Instead of being hard on you like he initially promised in that bar, he wanted to comfort you. But that defeated look in your eyes spoke volumes of what you really needed. 

There was no rush. At least, not yet. 

"Why don't you get some rest,” he whispered, standing up to peel the covers back for you. “I’ll find a translator later.” 

Sighing deeply, you glanced up at him before relenting, letting him pull the covers over your body. You watched Gojo as he stacked your books on your bedside table, tidying up what had been misplaced. 

A part of you wished he would stay. And perhaps he would have if you asked, but the second your head snuggled into your pillow, the world started to fade away. 

"Thank you, Satoru," you whispered faintly. 

"For what, princess?" 

"Everything." Was all you mustered in your enervated state. You really wanted to thank him for his willingness to help you, for not abandoning you or being afraid. For taking care of your brother, for not giving up, and for making you feel butterflies in a world of darkness and despair. 

Turning off the lamp on your bedside table, Gojo watched your eyes flutter shut. He leaned down and pressed a kiss against your forehead. You hummed in response, the corners of your lips upturning sleepily. 

He wondered if you saw the future as he did, speculating whether or not you wished for his presence the way he did yours. Regardless, he failed to express that you could rely on him no matter what and that you would never have to suffer alone again.

That may be the most potent form of love he could provide.

∘∙∘☾𖤓∘∙∘

Tags :) @aetrimis @ihatethisbye @that-one-enthusiast @ti-mame @torusmochi @azgucci @getosfavmonkeyy @allisonbaelfire @gojoslefttoenail

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #jujustu kaisen

[writingroom21]

The Nanny

Pairing: Rafe x Nanny Reader

Summary: Being Wheezie's nanny was great. The only downside was dealing with the oldest Cameron, Rafe. What happens when his fascination with the nanny becomes a reality?

Warnings: Angst, mention of drugs, (Let me know if I missed any)

Wc: 4.8K

A/N: Sorry for the shorter chapter. I got a stomach bug and it's been kicking my ass

Chapter 7: Will we ever be enough?

A thumping noise stirred you from your sleep. Footsteps make their way closer to the bed, quick steps slightly muffled. Crap did you not lock the door last night? The bed shifts right next to you, the person resting their weight there. Your eyes are screwed shut hoping that Rafe will go away and not bother you right now. “Hey get up.” The voice is feminine definitely not Rafe. Peaking one eye open you see Wheezie sitting in front of you. Jumping up, you give her a big hug, pulling her super close. “Jesus you’re going to squeeze me to death.”Even though she protests, her arms are squeezing you just as tight. 

“Sorry I just missed you.” You say as you pull back. Looking at the alarm clock you see that it is nine in the morning.  “What happened while I was gone?” Wheezie’s words cause you to freeze, shoulders tensing at the thought of the past week. “Why would you think that something happened?” Your words spew out more than coming out calmly like you intended. She just gives you a strange look, her eyes glint behind her glasses. Her stare is making you squirm in your spot, it’s like she was deciphering what was plaguing your mind.

“Well I have been gone a whole week so wanted to see what you were up to. But now I’m thinking something actually did happen.” Her look is questioning, wanting you to tell her what happened but mostly to see if she was right in her thoughts. One of her friends had texted her saying she saw you and Rafe together in his truck. She didn’t believe them at first, I mean come one there’s no way. Everything Rafe did seemed to annoy you, to be fair he had that effect on everyone. But to think that of you two together was weird, Wheezie wouldn’t mind it would just take some time to get used to.

“Nothing happened. It was a boring week without everyone.” You nonchalantly say, shrugging it off and getting up from the bed. Since everyone was back it’s best if you got ready and did something today. “So nothing made Rafe destroy part of the living room last night? Dad was pretty mad when he saw what Rafe did.” Your actions hault, the shirt in your hands slipping back to the drawer it came from. “Rafe did what?” You practically shout as you turn to her. “When we got home today dad found Rafe in the living room. It looked like he was throwing some stuff around last night. I’m surprised that his yelling didn’t wake you up.” She watches you as you gather your clothes, not really saying anything.

“It’s okay if something did happen, I wouldn’t be upset.” Wheezie is being honest. The more she thought about it the more she realized it would be nice. You are already part of the family and she loves you. Not to mention Rafe seems happier around you, she noticed that he isn’t as rude or violent when you are around. It made her happy to see him like that. It brought her back to when she was really young and Rafe cared about her before he changed. It was comforting for her to know that even in all that hate, her brother was still deep down there just waiting to come out.

She just watches as you keep your back turned to her, walking to the bathroom. Right before you walked in you looked over your shoulder at her. “Nothing happened Wheeze.” With that you went in, getting ready for the day. Letting the hot water melt away the tension in your body. When you got back into your room Wheezie was laying on your bed scrolling through tiktoks. “Can I just say I missed the internet while I was gone. Getting up to date on everything in one morning is very tiring.” She exaggerates flopping her body around once she hears you enter. “You were only gone for a week. How much could you have possibly missed?” You detangle your hair as she keeps talking. 

“You don’t get it. All of my friends have been going to the parties now, things happen at those. Like this one guy was caught making out with another girl besides his girlfriend at the bonfire the other day. Can you imagine that? What a dick to even hookup with someone when you are seeing someone else.” By the look on your face she can tell that she messed up. That the fun story she thought would lift your moods actually seemed to make it worse. Her eyes widened when she realized that you were the girlfriend and Rafe was the dick that two timed you. Can’t really say girlfriend but the notion still stands, he was seeing you and then did that.

“Oh my go-” “Why don’t we go off the island and do something fun today? It's not even elven yet so we can catch the ferry and go shopping or something.” Your words are rushed, kinda mumbling together from how fast they came out. It’s one thing for Wheezie to be prying into what happened over this week. Now it's another thing for her to be connecting the dots just by telling one story. You know she can tell you were a part of it, the look of sorrow has infiltrated her face. She just doesn’t have to know that Rafe was the guy that hurt you like that. She says your name.

“Wheeze drop it.” If only your words were that simple or that Wheezie actually listened. “I’m sorry I didn’t kno-” 

“Wheeze it’s okay. I was seeing some guy and he was apparently seeing other people as well. It sucks but it happened. All I can do is move on and not let it get to me. Now get up and let’s go. We have the day ahead of us.” Reluctantly Wheezie gets up and follows you out of the room. Just as you were about to get to the stairs the door to Rafe’s room opened, causing the two of you to meet face to face again. His eyes are red, you can’t tell if it’s from crying or being high out of his mind. Rafe’s eyes flicker around your face and catch the glimpse of Wheezie behind you.

All he wants is to grab you by the arm and drag you into his room. That way you would be forced to talk to him. Let him explain how he doesn’t want to hurt you, how he doesn;t want to be the person you are afraid of. He can handle the frightened looks from others, the ones that scream he’s a psycho but he can’t handle it from you. He doesn’t want to be like your dad, he doesn’t want to make you feel small. Rafe just wants you to smile again, to hear your laugh even just for a moment. Then he remembers the look on your face last night. The disgust as he tried to explain himself. Just that reminder was enough for the steel walls to come back up and for him to brush past you like nothing.

“What no comment today?” Wheezie jests at her brother, testing out the waters. If she’s right she has to know. “Nothing to comment about. Stop being a little shit.” Rafe snaps back, continuing his trek down the stairs. It shouldn’t sting this much knowing he has nothing to say to you. It still does, a sharp pain radiating in your chest, constricting and then relaxing before repeating the cycle. Once you get by the front door you realize that your car is still broken down at John B’s. “You have got to be kidding me.” You whisper

“What’s up?” Wheezie asks. “I totally forgot that my car broke down yesterday and we now have no way to the main island.” Just before the other girl can answer, Rafe interrupts. “I can take you, Just get in the truck.” His keys jiggle in his hands as he walks to the door. “NO!” Wheezie yells making the both of you look at her. Rafe gives her a look, to anyone else they would be scared but she just rolls her eyes at him. “It’s supposed to be a girls day hence no boys allowed. I see Sarah pulling in anyway, we’ll just ask her if she wants to tag along.” She explains as she drags you out the house and into Sarah’s car without any warning.

“Wheeze what the hell?” Sarah exclaims, staring at the youngest sibling for answers. “Drive Rafe is trying to take us to the mainland because someone's car is broken.” The explanation was all she needed to put the car in drive and speed off. “You told her about Rafe? I knew you were close but I thought you would keep that one to yourself.” Wheezie shrieks. “It was Rafe! I knew it.” Her words die down as you disconnect from the conversation. You look at the back window to catch as Rafe walks out locking eyes with yours as you leave.

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“What do you think about this one?” You ask, holding up a top to your chest. “I like that color on you.” Sarah points out, grabbing a few tops to try on. “Yeah maybe Rafe will get jealous when he sees how many people hit on you.” This is the third time Wheezie has mentioned him since Sarah accidently spilled the beans.The first was in the car directly after. “When did it start? Like where you and Rafe always a thing or did this just happen? I’m just confused by this.” Sarah had shot her a death glare and told her to cut it out.

The second time happened two stores in on your shopping spree. Well more like taking them shopping as you get a few things for yourself. “I’m sorry Rafe did that to you. I stand by what I said earlier he’s a dick.” You just sighed, pushing some jeans around to find your size. “Don’t say that he’s your brother. He messed up but that’s a part of being human. I can be upset because he hurt me but you can’t fault him for making a mistake.” You eye her by peripheral vision.

“He hurt you and you’re upset about it. I’m upset he hurt you.” She huffs. “Exactly Wheeze he hurt me. I have a right to be upset with him. He didn’t hurt you, it’s sweet that you care about mt. He’s still your brother and making mistakes is a part of life, don't be too hard on him, okay.” You place a hand on her shoulder rubbing a small circle. “Fine but I still think he’s dumb.” You chuckle as Sarah walks over. “What do you think?”

Which brings you back to third, now. “I don’t need him to be jealous. It doesn't matter.” You put the top back and dig around for more. “So you wouldn’t care if you saw Rafe with someone else?” Bile tries to crawl it way up and you have to try hard to keep it down. The thought  alone was awful enough to make you feel like crying. “Wheeze leave her alone.” Sarah scolds her younger sister. Trying to convey that this is not the time to be talking like that. “No it’s okay. I wouldn’t care, he can do whatever he wants.” Lie.

It would crush you, physically break you. You’ve always been a second choice your whole life. Parents always loved each other more than you. Most of your friends from school don’t even talk to you, deciding it was better to cut you out and all stay friends. Second in your family, second in social life, and now second in love life. Seeing him happy with another person would hurt the most. 

Rafe was one of the only people who seemed to actually pay attention to you. Sure at first it bugged the shit out of you due to all the flirting. But you could see the way he noticed the small details about you. Asking about the current tv show you are watching even though you never mentioned it to him. Or when he gets Wheezie a treat and happens to get your favorite as well. Nothing with him felt like you were second best. Yeah you knew about his reputation with girls yet it didn’t matter because he never treated them like that. Now all you can see is how he did all of it just to sleep with you. It was never genuine and he never wanted something deeper. 

Giving up on finding any other clothes, you just watch as the girls shop. Giving input on which items they should get or what they should pair it with. It goes like that for a couple more stories until you all decide to go get an early dinner and head back to the island. Missing the Ferry would be a big inconvenience so it’s better to be early. 

“You know there’s this party going on tomorrow night. We should all go.” You and Sarah stare at Wheezie. Did she just really suggest going to a party together? “Wheeze I literally nanny you. Taking you to a party would probably get me fired.” You laugh while taking a bite of your chicken alfredo. “You’re practically Sarah’s nanny too and you go to parties with her.” She argues. “One Sarah is older than you and I am not her nanny. Two, you are just going into highschool. It would be weird if I was bringing you to parties or even encouraging that.” You argue back.

Truth be told you actually don’t want to go at all. If there’s a party then Rafe will be there, he always is. It’s bad enough you have to deal with him now at the house, seeing him outside would just be torture. “How about we stay in and watch movies?” You suggest, mostly hoping that she will take the bait. “Come on please can we just go? All of my friends are going to be there, I can’t be the only one not going.” Just as you were about to speak Sarah cuts in. “Wheeze she’s right. If dad found out you went to a party and she as so much even knew, he would fire her. Your friends shouldn’t even be going to those parties to begin with.” Who knew Sarah could be the word of wisdom.

Sighing, Wheezie gives up trying, rather choosing to finish her food. “You should at least go and have fun. Show Rafe what he’s missing.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you. You just look down at your plate, avoiding eye contact so you don’t have to answer her. “We should finish so we can head out before it’s too late.” The two other girls nod their heads. The rest of the dinner had awkward silence. No one knew what to say, you didn’t want to keep talking about Rafe but Wheezie had so many questions. Poor Sarah wanted to help you out but she also had questions.

The middle Cameron knew when she should leave topics to rest, knowing that pushing you too much would cause issues. From experience she knows you don’t like to share things, she only really knows basic things. Maybe a few more personal information but nothing too crazy. It never bothered Sarah because no matter what you are still a great friend. On the other hand it bothers Wheezie how closed off you can be. She has questions and she wants answers to them.

She’s curious on how this even started, was it you or was it Rafe? Had to be Rafe she thought. Did you want the two of you to be together? Duh or you wouldn’t be so heartbroken. But mostly she wants to know what Rafe could do to make everything okay. What he did still makes her upset but she believes that he’s better with you. The car and Ferry ride back home was just Wheezie thinking. She just had to get the two of you to see eye to eye. If she could do that then everything will be okay even better than okay.

“Hey John B just texted me to say that he and JJ fixed up your car.” Sarah looks over at you. The view from the Ferry turns into Sarah’s face as you pan over to her. “Really?” You shift in your seat, sitting up a little straighter. “Yeah I can take you once we get back. That way you can have your car.” You smile at the blonde girl thanking her. You just want to get home now, tired from the day.

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“Well hello there gorgeous.” JJ shouts from the dock next to John B’s House. Sarah had just dropped you off, taking Wheezie back home so she can be free for the night. “Hey Jayj! Heard you boys fixed up my car.” You smile at the boys making their way over to you. “That we did. Had a leak in your exhaust it caused the engine to stop running.” JJ slaps a hand on John B’s shoulder after the boy just explained the problem. “Don’t worry we fixed her up nice. It will getcha from point A to B in one piece. Hopefully.” JJ jokes thinking he’s funny like usual.

You roll your eyes at the blonde. “Haha, so funny. Can I get my keys now so I can leave? Wouldn’t want to intrude on your make out session.” You tease the boys. It’s been an ongoing joke since you had to watch them one time. They were in middle school then. You weren’t that much older but Luke didn’t like the thought of his son and no good friend alone. It was one of the very few times Luke spent money on his Boy. 

Them being young teen boys started hitting on you and you told them to go make out in the corner. From then on the joke took a life of its own. Anytime they annoyed you the joke always came flying out. “And I thought I was a comedian.” JJ huffs throwing the keys at you to catch them. “Now if you could leave we have some important business to attend to.” John B shoves him off pulling a face of disgust to the other boy. “Take him with you please he won’t leave me alone.”

You laugh as you walk to the car, unlocking the door and opening in. “If I wanted to take Jayj I would have just asked him to come along. It wouldn’t be fair to separate such a happy family.” You say as you get in and start the car. “Fuck you” They yell and flip you off, watching as you back out to the dirt road. 

It seems like when they fixed your exhaust they also put AC fluid in your car. The vents are now blowing cold air instead of hot like it's done for the last two summers. It makes the drive back more enjoyable. Not having to stick with the windows down that just blow hot air at you is life changing. No more muggy car rides that make your clothes stick to your skin. A new car, well slightly new, for a new start. Everything is going to work out.

That mindset was put to rest as soon as you stepped foot into the house. Yelling can be heard from down the hall. “What is so wrong with you that you can’t seem to stop yourself from fucking up?” Ward's voice echoes down the hall. “You can’t do anything right can you? I swear Rafe I wonder if you even are my kid. How could you when all you do is cause me headaches. Sarah isn’t like this, why can’t you be more like her?” Footsteps get close to you, panicking you try to leave but run into Wheezie. “I’m sorry I was just trying to ask him questions and dad overheard. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

She’s crying into your arms, her grip tight. “Wheeze what did you do?” Her glossy eyes look up at you. “I was asking him how he could mess up what you had. Dad overheard and then started yelling at him. I don’t know what to do.” You brush her hair to sooth her, feeling bad for the crying girl. “Where are they?”

“Dad’s study.” she squeaks out. “Okay. Go to your room, I'll find you after.” Your feet carry you closer to the room. Listening closely you can hear Rafe’s voice now. “Sarah? Are you fucking kidding me? Sarah has run off time after time with John B and the rest of them. She has left you more times than I can count and she’s still your favorite?” You can tell he’s hurt, you can hear it in his voice. This conversation is an exact replica to the others you have heard. 

“Don’t start this again. Just because you keep screwing up doesn’t mean you can bring Sarah down. She’s a kid, she’s still learning.” Ward yells back. “What about me?” Rafe yells. “I’m your kid too. I have done everything to make you see that I care. I’m the only one who actually wants to continue the family business. I’m the one who has had your back this whole time. Sarah doesn’t care about you, why can’t you get that.”

You are right outside the door now. Rafe and Ward are standing in the middle of the room staring at each other. “If you think I’m letting you anywhere near the account now then you’re just as stupid as I think you are.” You gasp but thankfully it wasn’t heard. “What?” Rafe’s confused, he was promised this account before his dad left for the trip. “You heard me. I left you for a week and you screwed the nanny. On top of that you cheat on her and trash the house up. I don’t know how many times I have given you a chance and you never change.”

“Nah you gave me that account before you left. I fucked up I know but you can’t just take that from me. I’ve worked hard for it and you can’t deny that. You can’t just take this from me for a mistake.” Were you the mistake or making out with Sofia? You shake the thought out of your head, it doesn’t matter. “No Rafe, a mistake is forgetting to buy something at the store you need. You took something good and fucked it up like you always do. That girl is better off without you anyway.” Rafe’s shoulders deflate at his fathers words. “Yes I can take this account and I will. Clearly you can not be trusted for anything.” You see Ward move around the room, scared he will catch you, you try to back away. The only issue was the floorboard squeaking and giving you away.

Both men look toward the door seeing half of you standing there, the other half blocked by the door. Ward calls your name out. “Can you come in here please?” Reluctantly you make your way into the room, eyes trained to the floor. “How much of that did you hear?” Ward asks. You look up making eye contact with Rafe before looking at the older Cameron. “Practically all of it.” You answer.

“You’re wrong by the way. Rafe didn’t do anything wrong, we weren’t together. He’s free to do whatever he pleases. Wheezie caught on to what happened and took it too far because she thought she was helping me. I honestly don’t care that it happened.” Rafe’s eyes are burning into your face. “He shouldn’t be punished for living his life. I know I may be over stepping here and you might want to let me go. But it wouldn’t be right if I stood here and watched him get in trouble for something that isn’t a big deal.”

Your eyes meet Rafe’s again after you finish. The blues in his seem so dull, almost lifeless. “No one is going to fire you. You’ve been good to us, I'm not letting that go. I appreciate you defending him but he needs to learn to fight his own battles.” Rafe shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m not defending him, ‘m telling the truth.” They open again watching you closely. “Then I guess everything is fine. You can keep the account.” Wards simply states and walks out the room. 

Heavy breathing is the only thing heard in the room for a moment. “I don’t need your help. Save it for someone else.” Rafe tries to brush past you, your hand stops him from getting far. “Are you kidding me right now?” He just stares at you, blank stare meeting your angry gaze. “You shouldn’t have done that. I don’t need you to help me. I could have handled that myself.” A scoff leaves your lips, hand falling from his arm.

“I did it to be nice because no one deserves to be yelled at like that. If your head is too stuck up your ass to see that you shouldn’t be treated like that then I’ll see myself out. I don’t need you to yell at me for doing something nice for you.” You try to walk around him but he steps in front of you. “Exactly I don’t need you to do something nice after I hurt you. Oh sorry I forgot that it meant nothing so I shouldn’t feel bad. Should’ve known this was some sick ploy for you to be the better person.” His words strike you, their venom flooding your system.

“Is that what you really think about me? That I would go so low to make you feel shitty. News flash Rafe the world doesn’t revolve around you. I don’t spend my days planning ways to destroy your life. I hate the way he talks to you, always have and I won’t be the reason why. I meant everything I said when we were together. It’s okay that you didn’t but don’t make me feel bad for something I didn’t do.”

You walk past him, reaching the door when he speaks again. “I freaked out. Kelce was saying dumb shit and I freaked out. I didn’t think you wanted more so I just…” His sentences fall short, Rafe trying to tie the words together in his brain. “So you just decided to be with someone else?” You bite back, wanting him to feel the pain you are. He exhales, his walls building back up, blocking off the confession on the tip of his tongue. The hope you gave him when you said you hated how his dad treats him dies. She will never trust you. “Yeah, I just decided that.” It’s better to just agree with you. Arguing has gotten nowhere and the truth falls onto deaf ears. 

You may have confessed that you meant what you had said, yet it didn’t matter to him. The key word being meant in your sentence. It doesn’t matter if he wants to say how much he cares about you, that the thought of not having you physically pains him, or how these past two days he can’t do anything but take bumps of coke. None of it matters because however you felt was clearly long gone. It was time for him to do the same, he needed to move on from you. The way your eyes shine at him tell him how much you don’t care, how little he means to you.

The urge to be high is scratching Rafe’s insides as he just looks at you. The pain slowly fades to numbness as he looks at the hate in your eyes. The clear baggy full of white powder burns a hole in his pocket, begging him to take a hit. “I didn’t want to hurt you. You won’t have to worry about me again. I’m sorry.” This time it’s Rafe who is leaving you, walking into the hall and past you like nothing. 

“What do you mean I don’t have to worry about you?” Your voice wavers, worried about what he means. He just keeps walking, not paying attention to you. “Rafe.” He looks at you, eyes scanning your face. “I mean I won’t be in your way. I’ll stay as far away from you as I can. You’ll be happier that way.” With that he just leaves. He knew Ward was right, you are better off without him. He’s seen it first hand how happy you can be when he isn’t there to bring down the mood. 

Even if he did love you, he was too damaged to deserve you.

#rafe x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe obx #rafe smut #drew starkey smut #obx #outer banks smut #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x nannyreader #rafe x you #rafe outer banks

[sportswriters]

traveling to his hometown - j. swayman

pairing: jeremy swayman x reader | f | established relationship | wc: 943 | warnings: none

welcome post!

you came up with the idea of traveling to anchorage for a few days to take care of your well being. jeremy found it great since it’s break season so he had a free week to enjoy before going back to training. he’s always been connected to nature since he was a kid going to hike with his dad, so it was nice for him as well. jeremy picked you up in the morning to go to his parents house so you could all go to the airport together. his sister would arrive a day later with her husband and the baby.

“hello, beautiful. did you sleep well last night?” he greets you with a kiss, then helps you with the baggage.

“just a few hours. i kept thinking if i was missing to pack something,” you confess. “i probably dreamed about it, i just don’t remember. you?”

“well, me too. can’t wait to rest and enjoy the view with you.”

“i’m so glad we’re going together. so glad you came from such a beautiful place, no wonder you’re the love of my life,” you hug his waist, leaving a quick peck on the side of his neck.

“you’re lucky we can’t be late. i could totally go back up to your place so we could smooch for a few hours.”

you just laugh and let go of him, leaving the teasing for when you’re properly alone.

the trip to his parents house and then to anchorage went by pretty fast. jeremy came from a family full of good people, so it was easy to talk to them comfortably. since it was a long flight, everyone took the opportunity to get some sleep — not even the excitement could control tiredness.

there wasn’t a proper plan to follow during the trip, so you hang out inside just enjoying the coziness of the house, taking every chance to cuddle by the fire or outside on the porch. sometimes you would take a walk around the neighborhood, eating delicious food and buying souvenirs. the other day you went hiking in his favorite place, then when you reached the top, your emotions overflowed when you took in how beautiful the world around you was. jeremy stayed by your side, waiting for you to calm down. he was aware of how hard work has been to you, but the difference was that you couldn’t let out this kind of energy like he did on the ice. he was aware that for now all he could do was being there until you got back.

and you did. within the safety of his arms, you felt lighter while you waited for your breath to normalize and your eyes were still puffy.

“thank you, baby.”

“always, my love.”

you and jeremy have been a couple for almost two years, but after these days being so domestic and behaving like a true dynamic duo in every situation, it made you both realize how great of an idea it would be to finally move in together. neither of you knew you’re thinking of the same thing, so a few hours before going to the airport, jeremy took you to the porch to talk, failing to notice that you said you also wanted to show him something. he was nervous, it’s cute, you would’ve paid more attention if you weren’t as much as a nervous wreck.

it’s not like you’re anxious or anything — neither of you —, it’s the expectation. the realization of how much you love one another. loving someone to the point you wish to spend your whole life with, to wake up beside each other, to wait for them to come home.

“you know you’re my home, right?” he asks.

“i figured i might be one of them, yes” you joke, knowing how important his family is to him. jeremy stares at you for a second with a silly smile hovering his features. he pecks your lips twice.

“okay, smartass. i meant to say you’re someone i’m sure i want to build a home with.”

his straightforwardness catches you out of guard.

“jer…”

“wait, listen. i’ve considered a lot of things, but i know you must have your own conditions…”

“baby, correct me if i’m wrong.” you hold his hands over your lap. “we’re each other’s home, that’s known. now you want us to build a home together? is that right? like living together?”

“yes, if you let me.”

“remember i said i wanted to show you something?” you let go of his hands to open an app on your phone, searching for a picture. jeremy is slightly confused by the subtle change of topic, but quietly waits for you.

you smile when you find it. it’s a picture of a cheesy welcome rug with a bear couple and lots of cute hearts. jeremy smiles right when he sees it, used to the silly stuff you send him everyday, especially the ones with couples that act like you two.

“that’s adorable, for sure… wait.” he tears his eyes off the phone to find you smiling at him with your eyebrows raised. “is this what i think it means?”

“i must add that this is one picture from a quite big pinterest folder. i named it our lil ol’ home, see?” you show him the title.

jeremy looks like he could cry at any second.

“my love…”

you stand from your seat to sit on his lap, hugging him with your whole body.

“we’re in this together. i love you so much, jer.”

“i love you, y/n. can’t wait to start buying couple’s stuff with you as soon as we arrive home.”

#jeremy swayman #jeremy swayman imagines #jeremy swayman scenarios #nhl imagines #nhl scenarios #nhl drabbles #nhl blurbs #boston bruins imagines #jeremy swayman fluff #sportswriters ❤

[easternmind]

Lessons in Japanese Game Design #3

From Killer7 to Deadly Premonition, Japanese game creators have intrepidly explored the theme of mental illness in a variety of genres, often in highly stylized form. The title I wish to approach today is a lesser known reference that approached this subject matter with unusual tact and clarity - a memory, if you will, which the collective conscious has long repressed.

Maria Kimi Tachi Ga Umareta Wake (The Reason You Were Born) is a late 1997 adventure game firmly rooted in the visual novel template that earned Chunsoft great repute. It was Break studio's debut, produced over a year and half for both the PlayStation and Saturn systems. It was published by Axela, a company born out of the internal management conflicts and accumulated debt at ASCII, leading to some of its executives teaming up in 1996 to establish a new project centred around software and magazine publishing. The story of this company's origins, alone, would merit a separate post.

Foreseeably, its release was followed by moderate controversy, such that worked mostly in its favour. One of the most polemical moments is found in the introduction scene, with its tasteful yet unvarnished depiction of Maria's suicide attempt, followed by her hospital admission. The imagery and that which it depicts remains as painful to watch today as it did decades ago.

While Maria is the central character, her tragedy and arc merge with that of the actual protagonist, Jun Takano, a fledgeling surgeon who, in the quality of certified psychiatrist, is assigned to provide therapy to the French-Japanese patient the morning after her admittance.

Maria's mental illness component comes to light as the story and therapy sessions progress. The key art consists of photos of women using coloured masks to visually represent the dimensions of her multiple personality disorder.

(Note: the text above is machine translated from the original Japanese game manual.)

Break was denounced for its bid to integrate so serious a derangement as a theme in a juvenile entertainment piece. Their reaction was to highlight the research done to ensure a careful treatment of the subject and sensitization of players via a bespoke message in the manual. In retrospect, the relative popularity of this game at the time was greatly owned to this fleeting controversy, and is believed to have been a crucial factor in the obtention of budget for Maria's far less spirited sequel.

As a work of pure fiction, scenario writer Kirie Fukuda was at liberty to carry the already divisive premise into even more exotic territory by establishing a mysterious yet playful correspondence between Maria's distinct personas and Egyptian deities.

The game's structure is modelled after hirudorama, a Japanese word interchangeably used to describe daytime TV fiction or soap operas; each of its nine chapters lasting nearly thirty minutes, equipped with a plot twist, cliff-hanger ending, and followed by rolling credits.

Perhaps the single most outstanding aspect about this production results from a tireless effort to surpass the standard of authenticity in what pertains facial expressions; particularly those of the multifaceted Maria, often with stilted yet all the more fascinating results.

In this and other regards, the influence of D no Shokutaku and its character, Laura, is clear and unmistakable. Maria's director and studio head at Break, Akira Okada, was an ex-Warp employee who worked as sales director precisely at the time when Eno's game was being developed.

Following a modest success, Break released Maria 2: Jutaikokuchi no Nazo in 99, a not-so-direct sequel which did not command the same attention as the original. The studio created other noteworthy visual novels: Ouma ga Toki and its sequel, as well as the most unusual Saishuu Densha, a paranormal-themed romantic story involving two strangers who meet in a train.

Before closing, it would pay to emphasize that this is an entirely different adventure game from the similarly forgotten MA-RI-A Ningōkan no Noroi, a 1996 3D CG horror adventure designed by Osamu Tezuka's son, Makoto; and scored by Kuniaki Haishima, of Kowloon's Gate and Siren 2 fame.

Nor is it related in any way with the so-called "Maria" episode from the Yarudora visual novel game series, Sampaguita, released in 1997 for the PlayStation by Sugar & Rockets and Production I.G.

#Maria Kimi Tachi Ga Umareta Wake #obscure japanese games #japanese game design #mental illness #suicide #axela #break #playstation #saturn

[drspacepoodle]

lol i guess that I’ll never get used to his Instagram

#it was a great morning waking up to.. well- #anyway #i love this old man #brian may #old bri

[baeshijima]

HELLO SIR 🧎‍♀️

#may the stars guide you <3 #I WAKE UP TO A DAN HENG IMBIBITOR LUNAE TRAILER WAHHAA GOOD MORNING INDEED #TY HONKAI STAR RAIL FOR UR GREAT TIMING ONCE MORE 🫡 #but also his ost…. AND SAMUDRARTHA WAS IN THERE TOO ?!!:!!3&:!3?/?2?! #it wasnt like the other trailers we had bc it wasnt as…. dynamic?? ig??? #it was more just kit usage and shot angles rather than trailers like kafkas or blades imo #i still enjoyed it tho but it just didnt feel like the usual pv #maybe im the only one who felt that but oh well 🧍‍♀️

[augustsails]

Thank you so much @aptericia for tagging me in 5 songs I listen to!! Unfortunately my taste is so singular and there’s honestly not been anything new I’ve been especially enjoying so this list is limited lol.

Intrasport by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Pleasure Principle by Parlet

Invitation to Darkness by Yasunori Nishiki from Octopath Traveler 2

Supercell by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Experience by Ludovico Einaudi

I’ll tag @silverdragonoid and @od-10kira but no pressure and anyone else is free to do this too!

#It was hard to choose an Octopath song #but I love invitation to darkness so so much and I think it deserves more love #The only reason intrasport is number 1 is because it’s been the song getting me out of bed in the morning lol #well and it’s a good song #Pleasure principle is a funky bop that I highly recommend listening to #that melody will get stuck in your head but it’s great #Anyway oops I love music sorry xD #thanks again for the tag!!:) #tag game #Supercell also slaps and is a great wake up and kill the day kinda song lol

[silverstreams]

been feeling a bit down lately. might ask on here to talk about TLG stuff. maybe about questions or thoughts that people have. idk

#silver stuff #pain flare ups + some life stuff = not having a great time #I blame it for making me feel a bit lackluster about my most recent chapter #i’ll be fine though eventually #well except for the chronic pain part because that is a thorn in my side every waking morning #*moment #can you tell that i’m still angry about that lol #last week i even started to cry during work because the pain was so bad

[vulpinesaint]

12:30 am is a beautiful time to open up a 6 digit word count fanfic

#my sleep schedule is. not doing well #read a reallllly good one just now. fantastic pirate au. great writing. don’t know how anything will compare #and now 200k slow burn… i’m sure i will be physically well when i wake up in the morning #valentine notes

[beevean]

What is the likelihood of Drac leaving dhampirs over europe while he was cursing God and hiding from Belmonts? As in between LoI and CV3 (afterword he's rarely alive long enough)

What a delicate way to ask if Dracula is a careless whore 😬

Ehhhhh as funny as the mental image of Drac treating his dick like parsley and putting it everywhere is, no, I doubt so. It would cheapen the genuine feelings he had for Lisa, and Alucard's very existence as a dhampir. It would even cheapen his grief for Elisabetha. I prefer to think that it's after Lisa's death that he lost his mind and forgot how to respect the memory of his beloved ones lol which means flirting with every cute woman he came across and maybe even certain generals of his hemehemhemhem

Also, in all seriousness, I personally doubt vampires are as interested in sex as humans would be, because they'd lack the biological need to reproduce by breeding - clearly they can, but immortal creatures don't need to. And vampires' main means to reproduce is biting and turning. The "human" way would be more like a treat to have from time to time, and that's more like something Walter would do to pass the time lmao, the hedonist.

I think Dracula spent those centuries mainly feeding and growing in power, until his castle started to attract monsters and then humans. Whether or not he gave in to the advances of some succubi out of desperation I'll leave it up to you.

#suggestive #i guess #great asks to wake up to in the morning #(not even ironic this was fun) #i also don't know if drac ever turned anyone #well there is an enemy in ooe called draculina... maybe that's how they were created #also lol sometimes i consider that walter did leave some dhampirs around #and one of them was the ancestors of at least a certain laforeze sorcerer :)

[balladetto]

thinking thinking thinking about how no matter how fast he is, he'll always be too late to stop the second arc of oot from happening. for a link who took the time to start and finish what sidequests he could, and ooh and ahh over/really explore the places he went to because he was as much the sheltered boy from the forest as he was the chosen hero, this is especially egregious for him. if only he was quicker, if only he was better, if only he wasn't so undeserving that he had to go through seven more years of time lost before the master sword deemed him worthy of fixing his own mistakes.

#* lionheart / study. #* intermission / ooc. #so the timeline post is going great-- #asfkdsjl it was going to be cut and dried facts but then he turned it impressionistic so i'm stuck with tidbits like these #nobody /tells/ him it's his fault but like. when he wakes up and sees the state castle town is in -- with the memory of what it used to be #still fresh in his mind -- and when he sees literally everywhere else in hyrule and how much has changed in what felt like a really long #blink for him. he's gonna come to some Conclusions of his own. (i make this post in anticipation for his Thoughts on the mas.ter sword one #too <3) good morn btw! work has been atrocious. i hope to be around later (blowing kithes @ my dms) but who knows :') #hope you're doing well!! be seeing you!

[werebutch]

AHHH lynx’s treat puzzle, treat wobble dispenser, new hay rack, and stacking cups arrived MWEHEHEHEH

#so excited !!!! #NOT excited to wake up early to take him to the vet tmrw lol. also as I’m writing this it sounds like he is flipping the cups #into his water. great👍 WELL. that’s a problem for morning me. GOODNIGHT EVERYONE

[watermelinoe]

i am genuinely so nocturnal it's not even funny. i "fixed" my sleep schedule for the women's fest coming up and now i can't get anything done, i just lay around exhausted and irritable all day until the sun goes down and then i get in bed and can't fall asleep bc i'm full of energy

#and if i take something to fall asleep i sleep for 14 hours bc my body is trying to correct itself ghdkfhdh #i still think it's non-24 hr and not delayed sleep phase bc i cycle thru every possible sleep schedule #but the sleep monitor the doctor wanted me to get was like >$1k and not covered by insurance sooo fuck that lmao #and not to rant but i hate it when people say ''night owls'' aren't real and it's just bc ur on ur phone or playing video games #i didn't have a fuckin smart phone when i was six years old staying up till midnight i just wasn't tired!! #and i have tried everything. i hate ppl being like ''well have you tried-'' yes. didn't work. i have decades more experience w this than u #i know people think i'm just lazy. even more so now that i also have chronic pain. #that i should be able to wake up every morning like everyone else. #i was so excited abt this new sleep doc because he was the first one to say ''why don't you just follow your body's schedule'' #and he had this great care plan too but his team sent me on this wild goose only to find out this device would be over $1k #ppl think wow she doesn't even work like it's not humiliating to see your peers advancing their careers #while you had to give up on your dreams #i'm so lucky to be financially supported by my parents bc i would be dead otherwise #but that doesn't mean i don't feel worthless bc all my hard work in school amounted to nothing #who would hire someone who can't keep a consistent schedule? my only hope is IT but i can't handle traditional college again #it nearly fuckin killed me the first time #but will my online degree even help me #i want to work i want to contribute i want to be financially independent #i wish the rest of the world was wide awake at night like me

[noxtivagus]

ahh i'm so tired sorry i haven't been really active lately but i promise i'll fix all these stuff up n be well for the new year soon

#🌙.vents #i'll just ramble for a but ig. i can't.. let myself go to anyone at all for stuff like this but it hurts more when i keep it all to myself #oh wait good morning i guess i got around 9 hours of sleep huh #lovely going to sleep n waking up w tears in my eyes yeah absolutely Great #the future i want is. unrealistic i suppose #god i hate being pessimistic i prefer holding unto hope n i truly know better than all these burdens but #it hurts. all this pressure n then it just feels so lonely. i don't know if i belong in this world #every now n then when i just think of.. stuff my heart feels like it's being sharply stabbed with cold n then suffocated a bit #n then i'm crying even more as the whole emotion overwhelms me everywhere #but i suppose it's better this way. i'll hide this part of myself from the rest of the world n heal on my own #perhaps it's stupid of me to think i could do that on my own but i'm just so tired i might as well do it on my own now #it feels like everything is falling apart. wishes dreams hopes. every word forgotten #n.. i know it's not entirely this way but fuck it feels like it's all my fault for messing everything up #my mind is in a dilemma n it's like i'm just constantly fighting w myself inside #it's so draining #but i have a reality to face so i'll just. i'm sorry i'll bury it #i'm sorry to the words i used to write to myself then. i don't want to let them go but i suppose they were too 'naive' for this world #i don't have anymore energy to reach out. ffs i just want to be better n do better but i'm so tired #i don't want to forsake my younger self but.. i'm sorry maybe i'll just live out all this in my head instead. as i used to do #i have a lot to do dw i'll get up n face them #it hurts. i don't want to hurt myself but i can't be productive like this n #the other better way is. not for someone like me yk i don'r have much friends i'm too shy but all of them have closer friends n #apollo deserves more my family deserves more than me i'm sorry i just want to be myself but maybe that's not needed at all in this world #i'm not enough so i might as well go along this path. i know it won't make stuff better but. it fucking hurts i'm sorry #that sounds so sinister without the rest of the context dw i'm not gna do anything too extreme but. i have to be well enough to live in this #world. yeah. #i'm. oh my god this hurts bcs i know better i really do but these thoughts just persist n it hurts so much. it hurts so much #i don't want to lose myself to these negative thoughts bcs i rlly know better but god it hurts it hurts #i'm afraid bcs if i.. hide properly or wtvr i know i can be good enough to. idk pretend cleanly that i'm fine n destroy all the progress #i've built. but i don't want to lose myself. i know better but i'm stuck in my head n it hurts so much i'm sorry