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#it just makes me so angry to even hear about it
uzurakis · 2 days
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hello!
Can we have JJK guys reaction to his friend/buddy being in love with his girlfriend? (can sukuna and other any other characters you like).
THEIR FRIEND ALSO . . . LIKES YOU?!
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featuring: ryomen sukuna. gojo satoru. itadori yuuji. fushiguro megumi.
n. hey sweetheart, i’m not used to writing sukuna, but i tried to write him as him as much as i can! i hope it suits him. thankies for the req x—x
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GOJO SATORU. when gojo found out that his friend also liked you, his reaction was, unsurprisingly, far from what most people would expect. instead of anger or jealousy, he simply shrugged it off, his trademark smile playing on his lips.
“did you hear what i just said?” you asked, looking at him with wide eyes, he wasn’t fazed. “your friend likes me.”
gojo laughed, waving a hand dismissively. “oh, i heard you,” he replied, leaning back against the couch with an amused glint behind those glasses. “but why should i be worried? i know you’ll choose me at the end of the day.”
you blinked, taken aback by his confidence. “you’re not even a little bit concerned?”
“not at all,” gojo said, grinning. “i mean, can you blame them? you’re everything. but they don’t stand a chance against me, darling.”
“besides, it’s not like i don’t trust you. i know you love me.”
his words were playful, but because you know him well, he was serious. it was just the way he expressed it. “you’re right,” you admitted, tracing figures on his hands. “i do love you.”
“see? nothing to worry about. let him have their crush. it doesn’t change anything between us. if anything, it’s flattering. just proves i have excellent taste.”
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RYOMEN SUKUNA. being in a relationship with sukuna meant navigating his unpredictable moods and overwhelming presence, but you had never seen him this angry before. the air seemed to crackle with his frustration as he paced back and forth, his eyes blazing with a fury that sent chills down your spine.
“babe,” you began, trying to calm him down. “what’s wrong?”
he stopped pacing and looked at you, his expression dark. “fucking jerk, it’s that so-called ‘friend’ of mine,” words spat out immediately. “i found out he likes you.”
your heart skipped a beat. you had noticed the way his friend had been acting lately, but you hadn’t thought much of it. now, seeing sukuna’s reaction, you realized just how serious this was.
“ryo,” you said softly, stepping closer to him. “i chose you from the start, right?”
he growled, his hands clenching into fists. “i don’t care about that. he should have known better. he should have known that you’re mine.”
sukuna lined up his hand on your chin, causing your eyes to meet. “if he comes near you, he’ll face my wrath,” he whispered, his tone still laced with menace. “no one threatens what’s mine.”
“especially my woman.”
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ITADORI YUUJI. you told him about his friend’s feelings while you both were sitting inside your cozy room. itadori’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, but then he leaned back in his chair, processing the information.
“wow,” he said softly, scratching the back of his head, those pink locks becoming messier. “i didn’t see that coming.”
bitting your lower lip, you’re worried about how he might take the news. “you’re not mad, aren’t you?”
but your boyfriend shook his head, full of understanding. “no, i’m not mad, baby. feelings are complicated, y’know? it’s not like he can control how he feels.”
you sighed in relief, appreciating his maturity. “okay... i was just worried about how you’d react.”
“baby, i trust you, and i trust our relationship. besides, i’m kind of curious now. like, since when did he start liking you? how did i miss that?”
feeling the tension ease out of the situation, you chuckled at him. his obliviousness always gets in the way. “don’t know the exact moment, but i guess it’s been a while.”
“hmm,” the guy leaned forward, resting his chin on his free hand. “did he ever try to tell you or make a move?”
you shook your head. “no, i guess he didn’t. i think he knew about us and didn’t want to cause any trouble.” after your statement, a thoughtful expression was written on his face. “that must have been tough for him. i mean, having feelings for someone who’s already in a relationship.”
“it probably was,” you agreed. “but i’m glad you’re handling this so well.”
“hey, anyone would be lucky to have you. i just got there first.”
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FUSHIGURO MEGUMI. he took a deep breath, deciding to be honest. after fushiguro found out that his friend liked you, it hit him harder than he wanted to admit. the knowledge gnawed at him, and although he tried to brush it off, doubts began to creep in, making him question his own worth and your relationship. “i found out that one of my friends likes you.”
“really? who?” you blinked in surprise, not expecting that. he named the friend, and you frowned, thinking back on any interactions you might have had. “i had no idea…”
fushiguro nodded, but his eyes avoiding yours. “i didn’t either. it just… fuck, it bothers me.”
“i guess it makes me question things. like, am i good enough for you? do you have feelings for him too? those sorta things..”
your hands immediately caressed his by instinct, seeing him like this made your heart ache. “baby, you’re enough for me. i don’t have any feelings for them. i’m with you until the end.”
the man looked down for a long while, his grip on your hand tightening. “but what if i’m not enough? what if there’s something lacking in our relationship that makes you look elsewhere?”
“there’s nothing lacking, megumi. i’m happy with you. and i love you just the way you are.” you shook your head, cupping his face with your free hand.
after that he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes briefly. “i don’t want to that jealous boyfriend but i can’t help it. the thought of losing you to someone else…”
“you’re not going to lose me,” you interrupted softly. “i’m here with you, and that’s not going to change. fushiguro then opened his eyes, searching for reassurance in yours, before closing them again. a little, relieved smile tugged on the edges of his lips. “i love you. i’m sorry for doubting us.”
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@uzurakis
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timkontheunsure · 2 days
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"and if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?"
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Ok think I've finally worked out what was bugging me with them miscommunicating when Blitz yells.
"Would he want me if he were free?" Stolas' starting premise is if Blitz wasn't ok with the deal, and didn't like him; then he's a monster and an abuser.
If it's was only sex to Blitz, then he's just like Stella.
It's why he gives up, saying he has his answer; when Blitz assumes the crystal must be a prop for more of their deal.
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"tethered to someone in such an unfair way". Ok this bit had my mind immediately go to the divorce.
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The marriage was arranged by someone must more powerful than Stolas, to someone he'd never choose for himself. An "entire life's been written in stone" in fact; he thinks he's done the same thing to the man he loves.
While it is perfectly reasonable for Blitz to get angry, feeling blindsided and dismissed; asking for a "fucking minute", the next bit reads very differently to both of them.
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"You spring this feeling bullshit on me. Are you fucking kidding! *Kicks open the door* Can I get a Fucking minute to think after everything you put me through! You pompous rich Asshole! *Stolas' flinches the same way he does when Stella screams at him.*
"Treat me like one of your little butler imps. You can't just Dismiss me like that. I mean you royal Fucks think you can think you can do this every single time. Like you can just play with our feelings, because we're smaller and not as important. Well I'm Not letting you bitch. *Flinches again* Let's Go!".
Blitz is telling Stolas that he doesn't want to be sent away, and that he wants think about it. His abandonment issues are fully kicked in.
He's trying to force Stolas into a fight, to get him to engage with him. Likely a repeated pattern from his last serious relationship with Voroskia.
Trying to pick a fight, to get to make up sex, to get them back to 'normal'. Because that's how he's been dealing with their "complicated" for a while now. If it's about sex he knows how to deal with what they have.
(Blitz is word perfect on the fight with Verosika after all; so they probably got back together a few times after stealing from her).
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Blitz immediately goes to "I can do better", and try give it back; when he thinks Stolas doesn't want to see him anymore.
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"you royal Fucks think you can think you can do this every single time."
But that's not what Stolas is hearing right now. Stolas hears is 'your all the same. All royal are as bad as eachother'.
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It's very close to Striker explaining how the world works during his torture.
And now he thinks that the only man he's ever loved hates him because what he is.
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That's what he meant by "think so of low of me".
And he's not exactly wrong. Fizz even calls Blitz on hating that Stolas is a prince.
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And Blitz does say "They're all the fuckin' same". (Blitz isn't wrong for calling out Stolas on how he treats his staff either)...
Then there's the bit that seems fairly contentious. Stolas portaling Blitz out.
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Stolas is a domestic abuse survivor, only a couple of weeks out of the hospital, because his wife tried to murder him. He's going freak out at loud voices, angry swearing, and doors being kicked in.
He going assume that this is Blitz getting a few kicks in on the way out; not him genuinely trying to talk through their problems just because of the format.
They are both stumbling over eachothers trauma landmines here.
Neither is wrong.
Not Stolas for walking away, or making the shouty person leave.
Not Blitz for getting scared, upset and feeling abandoned. Thinking Stolas isn't giving him a chance to think it through.
Blitz is going to get that time he wants to think it over. It's not an all or none thing.
He now has his business safe and secured in his own hands, and knows that Stolas likes him too. Those are biggys.
It's entirely up to Blitz what he wants to do now.
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merakiui · 3 days
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me & you, beyond a horizon so blue.
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scaramouche/wanderer x (gender neutral) reader cw: slight angst, brief and vague mentions of scaramouche's past and the shouki no kami fight, you and wanderer have adopted a child together, this fic takes place before scara tries to erase himself in irminsul note - after he's defeated in a fight against the traveler, scaramouche wakes up in the distant future and learns a few things about an emotion he's always felt undeserving of.
It’s dark until he has the courage to force his eyes open.
Immediately, he wants to shut them. Near-blinding, the afternoon sun beams into his room through a part in the curtains. If he were human, it would have caused some sort of irreversible retinal damage. He’s not—though he isn’t spared the impending irritation—and so he’s able to adjust with relative quickness, his indigo eyes soon finding comfort in the brightness. It means a new day has dawned. He’s not dead—if that mortal concept can even apply to a puppet like him.
With a weak groan, Scaramouche drags a hand down his face and, like a sluggish, reanimated corpse, sits up in bed. The sheets are clean and soft, a soothing balm amidst the unrest that vibrates through him. It has been a long while since he’s slept through the night, preferring the shadows over the sun. Nocturnal like nature intended. A creature created in gloom can change and adapt, but it will always seek familiarity no matter what. 
Intrinsically like a rooted habit.
It’s only natural he would be forced into sleep, considering the fall was not pleasant, nor was the inevitable impact. He brings his fingers to his cheek, presses against the area, and assesses for injury. Nothing is damaged.
But then nothing is fixed. Not internally.
Having expected the dreary interior of an infirmary, he’s struck with bewilderment when he makes note of the bedroom he’s currently confined to. It’s furnished like a typical residence, unlike that of any inn he’s ever known, and there is a strange sense about this space. As if he’s always known about it and has just recalled it, destined to wake here one day and submit himself to its simple charms.
This can’t be right.
He’s never seen this bedroom before, let alone slept in it. Until now, that is. Perhaps a part of him has subconsciously willed it into existence with all of his fruitless wishing, the result of some illusion weaved from the intricacies of hopeful dreams.
Scaramouche glances at the bedside table, his brow furrowed in the beginnings of a wary scowl. Something is so obviously, painfully not right. He knows it has something to do with this room and the fact that he’s alone and unguarded. Lesser Lord Kusanali is not a fool, no matter how much he’d like to comfort himself with that delusion, and so he knows there should be no reason why he’s here instead of where he’s meant to be. 
And then he hears them—voices. Three of them, actually. One is high and giggly. It’s a little girl. Judging by the intonation of the other, an adult. Her guardian, to be more exact. He can’t place the third, especially since it’s one that sounds so grossly affectionate. He’s never heard anyone, human or not, speak with such tender warmth. 
He’s never known such a thing. Not in a long while. 
Scaramouche throws the covers off at once, stumbling from the bed in a panicked flurry. Watching it like it’s a threat, he clutches his chest. He doesn’t feel a heartbeat; rather, it’s the crackle of Electro deep within the core of his being that resounds, fizzling like snapped, angry circuitry. His fingers dig into wrinkled fabrics and he takes pause, realizing his actions.
To think something as mundane as a bed could startle him.
To think comfort would feel like a curse. 
What a joke. Even here, I’m not allowed the peace of a lonesome parting. 
He walks on intact legs, bidding the room a final glower before throwing the door open and stomping outside. Wherever he’s found himself, whether the mortal coil or a place beyond, he’s determined to get out. He pays no attention to the picture frames on the wall as he stalks down the hall, his mind working twice as fast to conjure a plan. If this place proves to be foul, there will be casualties. Three of them. 
Bloodshed is nothing new. 
What is new, though, is the scene he walks into when he approaches the kitchen, stepping through the threshold and immediately stopping short when he sees himself. 
Only…he’s different.
“You’re in poor shape,” his other self comments, almost conversationally, as if this sort of talk is casual. He’s dressed in breezy colors: whites and blues, the prettiest of hues. It’s a color scheme he would never entertain at present, but it sings of free skies with fluffy cumulus. An unburdened soul, light as a feather. 
Scaramouche opens his mouth to retort—so are you—and shuts it because that’s not true. His other self looks better than ever as he sits at the table. He looks healthy. 
He looks happy. 
“Whoa! There are two Papas?!” 
He flinches, horribly rigid, every sense on high alert. His gaze pans over to the little girl peeking out from behind your legs. She looks at him like he’s a wonder to behold—like he’s someone worth adoring. 
It’s different. It’s not the fondly fearful gaze of a devout follower, nor is it the clinical stare of a mournful creator or a deranged doctor. It’s something else. 
It’s…
What is it? What is that emotion—the one that has evaded him for the entirety of his existence?
“Good afternoon, sleepyhead. We were beginning to wonder when you’d wake up.”
He turns to look at you. A smile softens your features. Coupled with the glorious sunlight filtering in from the window, you are the most seraphic creature he’s ever seen. Horrified at the development of his thoughts, he hardens his face into a vicious glare and tamps down the weakness that rises to the surface.
“You were expecting me?” he asks, but it sounds like a demand. “What’s the meaning of this?” 
“Why don’t you take a seat? I can fetch you a cup of tea,” you offer, your voice gentle and coaxing. He glances at the little girl. Her gaze is worn down with worry.
“I will do no such thing,” he snaps, folding his arms across his chest. “You have no authority over me. I’ll sit if I so please, and I do not please. So I will not sit, nor will I indulge in tea.” 
His other self barks out a laugh. “To think I was like that… I was intolerable.”
“Still are,” you reply with a cheeky grin. 
“You’re just as bad,” he snipes back, but there isn’t any heat to the remark. There’s that emotion again, reflected so clearly when he’s looking at you. His other self smiles—genuinely smiles—and then addresses him next. The smile tightens into something serious. “Relax. We’re not going to bite.”
“No, but I can and I will. Don’t think for a minute that just because you’re me I won’t—” He stops himself when the little girl tugs on his shorts, peering up at him with more wide-eyed concern. Rather awkwardly, he does his best to bring his attitude to a child-friendly level. “I… I’m fine.” He searches the silence for her name. 
“Aaliya! Nice to meet you, Papa Number Two!”
Scaramouche nods mechanically, moves to bend down to her height, and then straightens again, thinking better of it. “What is all of this?” His hand sweeps across the room. “Just who are you?” 
Like clockwork finely tuned, you and his other self exchange a furtive glance before nodding. It’s some unspoken language Scaramouche can’t decode. He frowns as he watches this interaction, even more suspicious than before. 
“Aaliya, could you draw something for me?” you ask, guiding her from the kitchen towards the neighboring sitting room. Aaliya grabs a notebook and pencil from the countertop as she goes, humming her compliance. “We need another masterpiece to hang up, and you’re the best artist we’ve got.”
She giggles. “You can count on me!”
The sound calms him. He almost allows his shoulders to drop. Almost. 
Scaramouche watches from the doorway, observing the way you interact with the girl. It’s parental and adoring. You care for this child, and she cares for you. 
Just what is that elusive emotion? Why can’t he place it?
Once Aaliya has been successfully distracted with the allure of art, you return to take your seat beside his other self. Scaramouche stares between the both of you, utterly lost. 
“You don’t have to sit—not like I could get you to after you’ve made up your mind—but, at the very least, let’s talk.”
Scaramouche’s eyes narrow. “Speak.”
“So entitled…” His other self sighs. “I shouldn’t expect anything less. I am you, after all.” 
“Was,” he corrects astutely. “This isn’t the present day, and it can’t possibly be a dream.” He scrutinizes his surroundings, slowly fitting the pieces together. “It’s gone on for much too long.” 
His other self tilts his head, playful. “Are you sure you’re not just stuck under Buer’s thumb?”
Right. Dreams. Lesser Lord Kusanali can poke her nose in and out of dreams as she pleases.
“Plausible, yes. But this is too detailed. And you—” he gestures to Blue Scaramouche— “are different. I wouldn’t dream of something so inane. Something like…this.” 
Something so carefree and content, he almost tacks on as an afterthought, but he refrains. Weakness. 
“Oh, but of course. You’re too good for good things,” his other self jeers, sardonic in a way that incites violence. He pushes that urge away. There’s a child nearby. “For what it’s worth, we’re still the same person.”
“Do not compare me to a weakling like you.”
“Hah? You think I’m the weak one? I’ll show you—”
“Wawan, relax,” you say, moving your body to obstruct his view. 
Both look on, horrified. 
“Wawan?” Scaramouche ventures, brows furrowed. 
“You…” He turns away with a huff. 
“What? It’s cute! You like it!” You smile and nudge him.
Scaramouche is in awe, nearly slack-jawed from witnessing such a bold display. If anyone were to do that to him—to the fearsome Lord Harbinger Scaramouche—they would not get away unscathed. In fact, he’d subject them to a death so brutal they’d beg for release even in the afterlife. No one lays a finger on him unless they’re actively seeking a bloody finale. More importantly, no one reduces his being to such flowery nicknames. 
Disgusting. 
His other self—this Wawan fool—recovers from his flustered state and clears his throat. “Wanderer,” he says, hurrying the syllables before you can make any more comments. “The name I go by. You should know it because you’ll use it one day.”
“I will do no such thing.”
Wanderer’s expression softens at that—out of sympathy, he realizes. Uncharacteristic, Scaramouche thinks. I do not soften, nor do I sympathize. 
“You lost, Balladeer. There is no future for the god you hoped to become because he doesn’t exist. Not anymore.”
He bristles, suddenly defensive. “And who’s to say I haven’t already achieved godhood? Your claims are as useful as a corpse. You have no valid proof.”
“But I do. I’m you.”
“Even so, you’re woefully uninformed if you can so carelessly prattle on about—”
Wanderer sighs again, and this time you offer your hand. He hesitates, looking between Scaramouche and you, before his hand slips into yours, holding tight. Scaramouche’s face twists. 
Foul. 
“You failed, and this is the result of that—the future neither of us could have foreseen.” 
“Failure is a strong word,” you chime in, running your thumb over the top of his hand. You look at Scaramouche next. “You didn’t succeed, yes, but you can learn from your mistakes and grow.”
“And grow I so apparently did,” he mutters, bitter and resentful. “Into a weakling who…” He pauses, his tongue heavy in his mouth, eloquence escaping him. “A weakling who… Who shackles himself to idyllic nonsense with nothing but…” His fingers curl into tight fists. “Nothing but filthy weaknesses to show for it.”
Nonplussed, Wanderer submits to temporary silence, to the comforts you provide. There’s a feeling sprouting between the both of you. Neither of you says anything, but you understand regardless. It’s a silent sort of communication, an undeniable connection. An understanding fostered from that despicable emotion. 
With an offended scoff, Scaramouche turns swiftly on his heel and freezes when he finds Aaliya standing there. She peers up at him, studies his poker face, and presents him with her drawing. 
“Papa tells me love is hard, but it comes easy when you’re with the right people. You need to be willing and accepting. When you are, love will find you and you’ll find love.”
She presses the parchment into his hands. Shakily, he beholds it. It’s a poorly drawn family portrait, but Aaliya’s artistic talents mean nothing to him. It’s the first time he’s ever been willingly included in a portrait. A family portrait. The only time someone has bothered to document a side of him that isn’t the vindictive, villainous, ever-raging tempest he’s known for. The one time he’s ever known what it means to be loved. 
Ah. There’s that emotion. That temperamental, difficult, stormy emotion. It’s love.
In this future, he is treasured and cherished. He has a family. He has love, and he feels it and it’s reciprocated. Or Wanderer feels it, that is. But Scaramouche can see it: the quiet intricacies of your relationship—it’s all the result of love. You love him. Him—a being who was never created for the sake of loving. A being who has always been undeserving, unfit for the burden of divine admiration and reverence. You love him, and he loves you. Godhood and power and control—none of these things matter when compared to love itself.
Scaramouche stares at Aaliya next. He folds the drawing into a neat square, clutches it in a trembling fist, and—
And he cries.
Silently. His shoulders do not shudder. He does not gasp and wail like a newborn. It is entirely soundless, a reaction delayed by years. Tear trails streak down his porcelain cheeks in steady streams. His lip wobbles.
And he cries. 
He cries as he brushes past Aaliya, ignoring her protests and your mumble of, “Let him go. He needs space,” while he flees, beelining for the bedroom. He cries when he unfurls his fingers to cradle the folded square in his palm. He cries when he thinks of the life he’s lived—the suffering and the lies and the tragedy and the backstabbing and the manipulation. He cries because he can’t hold back anymore. Because he failed. Because he will never be a god. Because he is inadequate in the eyes of the divine—as unsubstantial as a common pest. 
He cries because he’s loved. Because someone has found something within his fractured being that’s worth loving. 
He cries into the night, curled in on himself to protect what’s left of his exposed weakness.
It’s dark when he closes his eyes, and unlike before they remain shut. Because if he opens them—if he doesn’t patch up the damaged floodgates—he will cry. 
And it hurts to cry.
And Scaramouche, for all of the pain he’s dealt, has never enjoyed being on the receiving end of agony, self-inflicted or otherwise.
It is a long, sleepless night punctuated with the soft pitter-patter of rainfall.
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He’s lying sprawled like a defeated starfish when the first few rays of sunshine poke through the window. Groaning, he slides his arm over his eyes. He knows himself, even if Wanderer is a version of himself he has not yet experienced, and so he doesn’t expect to be checked on. The silence is both a comfort and a curse, smoothing his nerves and chewing through to the core of his being. 
He thinks I’ll come to him first. How utterly foolish.
Scaramouche turns his back towards the sun and presses his face further into the sheets, drained of energy even though he’s just woken up. His ears prick at the sound of a girlish giggle and he lifts his head slightly, his eyes sliding towards the window. Aaliya skips down the pathway, carrying a basket in one hand and holding another girl’s hand with her other. 
A friend, Scaramouche observes, watching the girls until they’re out of sight. He hears you call out to them even though they’re already long gone: “Be back before dinner and don’t get into any trouble!”
He peers at his own hand and flexes his fingers experimentally. Is everyone this feeble in the future, or am I just too strong?
There’s a knock on his door next. He intends to lie back down and block the world out, but instead he sits up and stares. 
“Balladeer, I’ve put a pot of tea on. You’re more than welcome to have some if you’d like.”
He won’t dignify you with a reply. Or that’s what he initially thinks, but then he’s covering the distance to the door before he can stop himself. He yanks it open, much to your surprise. 
“I—” he starts, his scowl mellowing into a reflection of the cold and cruel Fatuus he’s known to be. “I…will have a cup,” he finishes, oddly subdued.
“You don’t have to force yourself to talk. You can glare at us if it makes you feel better. Just make sure to take care of yourself, okay? We’re here for you if you need anything.”
He scoffs, straightens his posture into something regal, and pushes past you. “I was feeling much better until you opened your mouth and spat that irritating dross.”
You exhale through your nose, tentatively stepping into his path. For a minute he considers sweeping past you, but deep down he knows that he—the one he supposedly becomes in the future—would regret it. He would hate to push you away when you’re making an effort to be close—an emotional proximity he’s so clearly avoiding.
“You’re always welcome here.”
“Considering the circumstances, you have no choice but to be hospitable. It’s pointless to feign sincerity just because I’m here. I’m not fragile. Do not treat me as such.”
“You’re right. You’re far from fragile.”
He opens his mouth to argue that point and then pauses, absorbing your words with a dubious frown. 
“You may not believe me, but you’re very resilient and so strong. I should know because I wake next to him every morning, and his existence is enough to remind me that he’s come a very long way.” 
Smiling, you continue onwards. Scaramouche stalls, wondering what that could possibly mean. A very long way from what?
He’s not sure he wants the answer to that.
As if it matters.
“Without spoiling too much, I’ll say you’re in for a world of development,” Wanderer says once Scaramouche has graced the kitchen with his arrival. He’s sitting at the table, which is set for three people and adorned with the usual Sumerian snacks. The scent of tea hangs in the air, fragrant like perfume. “Lots of fun things.”
“Fun,” Scaramouche parrots, his nose scrunching. “What an unconventional way to refer to countless days and nights of agony.”
“I never said it’d be easy.”
“You never said it’d be difficult either.”
“Both of you,” you cut in—vocally and physically, you’re standing between the two of them— “no fighting at the table.”
Wanderer takes your hands in his when you lower into the seat beside him, his thumbs tracing delicate patterns into your skin. “Do you see how troublesome he is? Did you really have to put up with him all those years ago?”
“He’s part of you, Wawan.”
He scoffs. “No part I particularly care for anymore.”
Scaramouche rolls his eyes and folds his arms over his chest so the couple in front of him won’t pick up on his discomfort. “I’m not asking to be cared for or coddled. Hate me all you want. I don’t intend to like either of you.”
“Well?” Wanderer raises a brow, a smirk lazily tugging at his lips. “Insufferable.”
“Bitter like your tea,” you agree, to which Wanderer and Scaramouche huff in unison.
They glance at one another, searching the other for an indication of mutual tolerance, before turning away.
“I suppose,” Scaramouche says after a beat of silence, “I shall indulge. Be grateful.” He steps closer towards the table, lifts his cup from its saucer, and brings it to his lips. It’s lukewarm and just as bitter as the tea he’s enjoyed in the past. “It would be a shame to let tea go to waste after your efforts to prepare it.”
He nods in your direction and you beam under his approval.
“Thank you, Balladeer.”
His brow raises, but he doesn’t ask. You fill in the blanks yourself.
“This is the current you. Right now, Wanderer and I, this entire home, the life we share, and even our dear Aaliya—none of it exists in your present. If anything, we’re just a dream to you. So who else are you if not The Balladeer?” 
Who else…
“Obviously I’m no one in this…reality.” He frowns. “If I’ve become that, there’s no need for any of my current aliases.”
“Perhaps not, but you’ll see for yourself when you get there.”
“I’d rather not. I’ll simply shut my eyes.”
“Avoidance is a common symptom of unresolved trauma,” Wanderer oh-so-helpfully adds.
“Oh, you’re a comedian now, are you?” But he isn’t laughing. 
“Just passing on a fact I learned. You’ll hear it for yourself one day. Why not share it in advance? Soften the blow a little.”
“And you’re so perfect?”
“I have no intention to be.”
“Sure.” Scaramouche sips his tea, swallowing the torrent of insults weighing heavy in his mind and on his tongue. “I suppose all of this just fell into your imperfect lap then?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Before they can continue their petulant bickering, you gaze sharply at Wanderer and then at Scaramouche. He’s never felt compelled to obey anyone; he’s never needed to heed those who have always sat below him on the hierarchical pyramid. But for some reason he shuts his mouth and lowers his gaze to the floor.
This is pointless. I must find my way out of here at the earliest convenience before he drives me into the ground with his irritating sentiments.
“Arguing isn’t going to solve anything. He’s our guest, first and foremost. We should treat him like one.”
“I guess it can’t be helped. If this truly is our reality for the next few days, there’s no point in living in denial and self-loathing,” Wanderer concedes with a huff.
“Which is precisely why we should welcome this opportunity. It might not come around again.”
“Let’s hope it never does,” Wanderer and Scaramouche admit at the same time.
That elicits a giggle from you, and they turn on you with disapproving glares. “Sorry, sorry. It’s not funny—I know. I just couldn’t help it. You’re the same person, yet so different. Even your stares hold different feelings.”
Scaramouche won’t acknowledge your observations with a response. Instead, he watches his reflection as it warps and wavers in the tea. And then he drinks.
This is by far the most excruciating dream I’ve ever had the displeasure of experiencing.
There is no pain or death in this dream. No power tantamount to that of a god. He may as well be an apparition without an apparent place in this world. But there is domestic bliss and that is by far the most torturous aspect of this dream.
To think anyone could look upon my visage with such tenderness… You must be out of your mind.
“It’s not like I particularly care, but you seem to lead a quaint life.” Scaramouche sets his empty cup down and leans against the wall, his arms folding impetuously. “Why?”
Wanderer, troublesome menace that he is, bats his eyes and pulls you against him in a possessive half-hug. “Difficult to believe, isn’t it?”
Scaramouche wants to scowl, but he refrains. “I wasn’t asking you.”
“It’s mostly quaint,” you cut in, smooth as alabaster. “Life is always busier when you’re with your loved ones and there’s plenty to do—never a dull moment, as they say—but I don’t mind it. I like busy days.”
The delivery sounds rehearsed, but Scaramouche suspects it’s the truth. Your eyes soften and your smile mellows into something adoring when you nudge Wanderer. He almost retches outright when his other self nudges you back, discreetly reaching for your hand beneath the table. He won’t comment, but it prickles his skin with disgust when he watches this display. His other self fancies you so openly… The current Scaramouche would never.
Could never.
“Also, busy days prevent useless idling.”
“And keep boredom at bay,” Wanderer finishes. He assesses Scaramouche with a fleeting once-over. “You’ve always been a sad, lonesome existence. Your busy days were but minor distractions meant to fill a bottomless void that could never truly be filled.”
“What of it? I prefer solitude.”
He exhales a humorless breath. “Centuries of solitude and all it took was a single vase of flowers… Neither of us could have guessed.”
A vase of flowers? he wonders, bewildered, but too prideful to ask for an explanation. When will I ever receive flowers?
“You don’t need to worry about that right now,” you say, sipping at your tea with a cryptic smile. “Good things come to those who wait.”
Scaramouche rolls his eyes. “I’ve had enough ‘good things’ for the rest of my life.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Even if you don’t think so, you’re deserving of good things. Everyone is, even if they’ve done something bad.”
He waits for the gutting punchline. It never comes.
He watches the world beyond the window: fluffy clouds, grass rustling in a breeze, a bird hopping about on the ground. His reflection frowns back at him. “I don’t agree.”
Wanderer shrugs. “If you say so.”
“That’s okay. If that’s what you think, who are we to judge your opinion?”
Briefly, Scaramouche wonders how you can have the patience to put up with him. With Wanderer, he thinks, even though he knows he’s just as troublesome, if not more.
He finishes the rest of his tea and then rises from his seat.
It’s not as if it matters. He doesn’t fit in this family portrait. He never will.
But he does in some distant future.
How peculiar…
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Scaramouche wakes on his third day in a rather pleasant purgatory. As it happens, he’s still stuck in this unusual cottage with a bizarre doppelgänger.
So be it, he thinks, sitting up in bed. It occurs to him that he hasn’t been very resistant since he was plucked from his timeline and dropped here. But what is there to resist? You and his other self? This comfortable home? Family? Happiness? Love?
I should get back to my world as soon as possible. That’s my priority. Do not get distracted.
Ideally, he’d like to imagine that’s where he belongs, but he knows there’s no place in this world—or any other world and timeline—where he’s wanted and accepted. At the very least, there’s some semblance of home in his timeline. Even if it isn’t the most welcoming.
When he wanders into the kitchen, he finds you standing over the stovetop. Strips of meat sizzle in a pan. Sitting at the table, doodling on a blank page, is Aaliya. He hasn’t spoken much to her since his first day, and she hasn’t come to his room to pester him. 
“Let him settle in,” you and Wanderer tell her whenever she stalks past the closed door. 
Still, he feels the beginning of a smile pull at his lips as he watches her kick her legs to and fro to an imaginary tempo. 
I’m looking after a child in this timeline. Me. A parent…
He struggles to fathom it.
“Oh, Papa’s back!”
“Already?” You whirl around, a greeting on your tongue. “Ah, no, honey, that’s our visitor. The Balladeer is his name. He does look like Papa, though, doesn’t he?”
“B-Balla… Ballaba… Babadeer?” She scrunches her face up, perplexed.
Scaramouche offers her a gentle, understanding smile. “You may call me ‘Baba’ if it’s easier to pronounce.”
She lights up immediately. “Okay! You’re Baba and Papa’s Papa!”
He finds that the term is more endearing than any alias he’s taken on in the span of his lengthy existence.
“Speaking of, where is he? I would assume he’d be smart enough not to leave me by my lonesome.” 
“He’s out for the day. Won’t be back until later.” You lift the pan from the stove and proceed to distribute breakfast between two plates. He shakes his head at you when you attempt to fix him a plate. With a shrug, you add, “You slept in. How was it?”
“Acceptable,” he admits, lowering into the chair beside Aaliya. “I suppose it’s better than most places.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” You place a cup of tea in front of him. “Bitter. Just how you like it.”
Scaramouche eyes it like it’s poison. “Your hospitality is…appreciated.”
“What do you think?” Aaliya lifts her drawing, proudly showcasing the portrait she’s sketched of you.
Scaramouche is a critic of many things. Art is not one of them. Still, he takes the page in his hands and spends a moment admiring the shaky linework.
“Very wonderful,” he praises, and he means it. “You should become an artist.”
“I want to, but I also wanna be like Papa. He’s really smart.”
“Is he now?”
“Mhm! He’s studying at the Akademiya. My friends told me only really smart people go there.”
I’m a scholar? Truly? He looks to you for confirmation. The proud smile on your face is answer enough. To think this is what becomes of me in a distant reality…
“A commendable occupation. You should always do your best in your studies. They’re very important. But most of all…” He hesitates. Thankfully, his other self isn’t here to listen to his encouraging words and ridicule him. He’s certain he’d never hear the end of it. “You should pursue what you enjoy.” He reaches out to pat her on the head. “Always dream, Aaliya.”
“I will! I promise.”
Scaramouche doesn’t do promises, but somehow he’s convinced by this one.
You sit across from him. “Time to eat, my dear. You can finish your pretty drawing later.”
She nods and pushes her pencils and crayons away in favor of focusing on her plate. Scaramouche watches, stiff and awkward. Family meals are not an unusual occurrence, but it’s been so long since he’s spent quality time with another living creature. With humans.
Am I really so foolish that I’d willingly indulge in a life with humans? Don’t I know better?
“Wawan told me your arrival might be linked to a faulty Ley Line. We’re not sure when you’ll return to your world—if that’s even a possibility—but until we know more you can stay here with us.”
“If I must. Although I assumed that was already established.”
You chuckle. “Is that right? Then it looks like you’ve gotten comfortable in the three days you’ve been here.”
He rolls his eyes. “Your singular deeds are not enough to earn my veneration.”
“I’m not trying to.”
With a huff, he averts his eyes. An uncanny feeling crawls up his throat and settles on his cheeks. You hide your playful grin behind your utensils and eat alongside Aaliya in peaceful silence.
If only everyone could see him: a puppet now named Wanderer, who attends the Akademiya and has a family of his own. A puppet who seems complete when he surrounds himself with his loved ones. It’s impossible to live in denial when all of it is unfolding before his eyes like a fantastical tale in a storybook. He really can’t believe it.
“Tell me—am I fulfilled in this reality?”
You blink back at him, and suddenly he regrets asking. There’s vulnerability in a question like that. An open wound waiting to be exploited.
“Will knowing put you at ease?” Before he can snap back with a defensive reply, you add, “I suspect you’re already aware of the answer.”
He stares at the amber-colored tea in his cup. “I am,” he confesses quietly.
“And do you feel any better?”
“Am I supposed to feel that way?”
“I can’t tell you because there’s no right or wrong way when it comes to emotions. You just…feel them.”
Just feel them?
“I’m more conflicted than anything else. That Wanderer fool… He can’t truly be me. I would never allow myself to grow so weak. To surround myself with weaknesses… How utterly thoughtless.”
“What you see as weakness is his strength.”
Scaramouche’s gaze slides from the tea to you. “And he… And I… I’m happy here? This isn’t a grand farce?”
“As absurd as it seems, this is to be your reality. You’re not always going to be happy. Sometimes you’ll dwell on the past. Sometimes you’ll feel angry and upset. It’s all part of existing.”
“That sounds horrendous.”
“What does?”
“Existing. Isn’t it tiring? I’ve never understood how humans do it.”
“It’s tiring, yes. But it’s also very rewarding. To exist is to cherish happiness and weather hardship. It’s not perfect, but it’s enough. Sometimes all you need is enough.”
What if I’ve never had enough? What if I’ve never had anything?
He shuts his mouth. So many questions flit around in his head, but he already knows the answers to most of them. He just doesn’t want to hear it from himself.
To have enough when you’ve never had anything—when you’ve never felt like anything substantial—he surmises Wanderer can sympathize.
The first few drops of rain patter dry earth. Like dolls moved with wire, you and Scaramouche turn towards the window to watch water beads pearl on verdant fronds.
“Oh, it’s raining!” Aaliya exclaims with a delighted giggle. 
Scaramouche reaches to touch his cheek. A single tear wets his fingertip.
“Huh,” he mumbles. “So it is.”
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Sitting on the stoop, watching worms wriggle in wet soil, Scaramouche sighs.
“Did you know the worms sometimes lose their way when it rains?”
“Is that right?” he murmurs, glancing at Aaliya who scoops one up from the stone path and places it in the grass. He smiles at her kind impartiality. “It’s very admirable of you to help them.”
“Mhm! Papa tells me even worms need homes, so it’s important to help them when the rain washes them away.”
He breathes a laugh that sounds more like a scoff. “I really said that? That’s difficult to imagine.”
Ironic, too.
“If no one helps, how will they find their homes?”
“They’ll find their way. Everyone does eventually.”
“Even you?” She blinks at him from where she stands in the grass, worms held in her palms.  
He exhales slowly and gazes skyward. The clouds have opened to let in the tiniest peek of sun. “If worms can find their way, then so, too, can I.”
He’s not sure he trusts it. Not now, at least. But it’s just as inevitable as the shifting seasons—an undeniable, irrefutable fact. He’s changing, if only slightly, and soon he’ll be in Wanderer’s shoes—a puppet with a home and a family. With all of life’s greatest joys and sorrows at his fingertips.
Aaliya sets the worms down in the grass before meandering over. She lowers to sit beside him, resting her head against his arm. “I believe in you, Baba.”
“Thank you.”
Soft as rain, subdued like a snuffed candle, his voice doesn’t waver. For the first time in a while, Scaramouche is defenseless. He’s not so sure he believes in himself. Wrapped in waning sun, listening to the hushed sway of grass, he tries on a smile. Albeit awkward, it fits.
He knows why his future self has become the wind, free and flowing, gentle and tumultuous all at once. Liberated from the past.
Even though he has his doubts, he knows he’ll get there soon.
The sky clears up just as Wanderer’s form comes into view. At first, he’s an insignificant pinprick against a blue sky. Aaliya jumps up from her spot on the stoop to run the rest of the way, calling out to him in an eager voice.
“Feeling any better?”
He keeps his eyes pinned stubbornly ahead. “It’s nothing to concern yourself with.”
“You’re our guest, silly. Of course I’m going to be concerned if you’re not comfortable during your stay. Ah, but I expect you’re coming up on the end of that, aren’t you?”
He blinks at his hands and realizes they’re transparent. “So it appears.”
“Does it?” you tease, patting him on the shoulder. Or you try to, at least. Your hand goes through him. “Guess it wasn’t very funny.”
“Not in the slightest,” he snaps with a scoff. He checks to make sure Wanderer isn’t within earshot. He’s kept occupied with Aaliya, who jumps around him like an energetic bunny. “But… Thank you…for everything. I’m aware I wasn’t the most grateful guest, nor the kindest.”
“You don’t have to be. As long as you felt safe and secure during your time here, despite everything that’s happened in your timeline, that’s all that matters.”
Scaramouche stares at you. I suppose it was a worthwhile escape. Unnecessary, but worthwhile.
“It wasn’t as hellish as I thought it’d be.”
“I’m glad. It was nice having you.”
Just then, Wanderer approaches. Aaliya sits proudly on his shoulders, her fists in his hair. “Glad to see everything’s still in one piece. No atrocities today?”
Suddenly, any sort of security Scaramouche might have been feeling evaporates. He’s reminded that it’s impossible to endure his other self for more than a few minutes. It’s actually impressive you’ve put up with him for this long.
Love is weird like that.
“Go back to the Akademiya and maybe you’ll learn a better sense of humor.”
“Aren’t you a bundle of joy?” Wanderer chuckles and levels him with a playful smile. His next words are tender and truthful. “Good luck on your journey. Have lots of fun.”
What sort of fun could possibly be found in pain? I don’t want or need your sardonic optimism.
“Oh? Baba’s leaving already?”
Scaramouche and Wanderer share a look. You smile behind your hand.
“Baba?”
“P-Pay it no mind!” He reaches for his hat in hopes of relieving everyone of his flustered expression and stops short. He’s not wearing his hat. He hasn’t had it this entire time. Refusing to admit he forgot such a crucial detail, he turns away and folds his arms over his chest. “It matters not.”
“Sure,” Wanderer concedes, but Scaramouche can tell he’s thinking something snarky. “We’ll go with that.”
“Thank you for visiting us,” you interject before the two of them can argue semantics. “Even though our time together was short, it wasn’t any less enjoyable.”
“I’ll miss you, Baba!” Aaliya extends her arm for a high-five.
“Careful now,” Wanderer warns, steadying her on his shoulders. “I suppose, though you’re more trouble than anything, it wasn’t so bad seeing my past self again.”
“You’re a welcoming lot,” he says with a curt nod. “It made this entire debacle slightly tolerable.”
“Only slightly?”
“Your presence didn’t add anything of substance. Don’t get it twisted.”
“Hmm. Perhaps not. At least I get to say I saw you once more.”
At that, he rolls his eyes. Am I supposed to feel flattered?
Wanderer smiles, but Scaramouche can’t place the authenticity. Maybe it’s there and he just doesn’t want to confront it.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know the feeling well enough.”
“And live every day one at a time. There’s no rush,” you advise, sweet like a real parent. 
“I believe in you, Baba! You’ll find your way just like the worms.”
Wanderer raises a curious brow, but instead of ridiculing him he takes your hand in his and squeezes. Aaliya giggles and pats Wanderer’s head. The three of you make a family. Togetherness. Love. It’s everything he’s never had.
Now he understands. When Wanderer is with you and Aaliya, he’s whole. He’s happy. Free. He’s turned a new leaf. There are still so many apertures and questions—so much he’s missing from a puzzle not yet pictured to completion—but he isn’t worried. Equipped with this new information, he finds himself at peace with the present situation.
“I don’t know if we’ll ever have the chance to meet again in this timeline, but if we do let’s not dwell on the past.”
Scaramouche can feel his consciousness slipping from this realm, every sense pouring in like light through the gaps in trees. Just before he can make sense of it all, he notices the pendant glowing just above Wanderer’s chest.
Impossible… Is that what I think it is?
“You have a lot to look forward to, so next time let’s talk about the future.”
Suddenly, he’s not so sure he wants to leave. Scaramouche steps towards his other self, hand splayed, and wants to say something. Anything. A million words and phrases stick to the roof of his mouth.
I’d like that, he thinks just as the rest of his corporeal form vanishes in a blip.
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Scaramouche comes to in the infirmary. He lifts his arm towards the ceiling, observing shattered fingers and broken joints. Thin cracks run along his arm—surface injuries as far as he’s concerned. They’ll be gone within the day, a testament to his self-sufficiency.
You’re very resilient and so strong. Someone once told him that. But who? And why does it warm him so?
“Oh, you’re up!”
He gazes sidelong at Lesser Lord Kusanali, the God of Wisdom, past the wellness bouquet on the bedside desk, and his features harden with antipathy. “Buer.”
“Did you have a nice dream?”
“Dream?” He scoffs. “I don’t dream. Not anymore.”
But it feels like I’ve been asleep for ages… Just what have I been doing all this time?
“Everyone dreams—even when they’re awake. Dreams are what give us hope.”
“Not me.” He turns on his side and shuts his eyes to block her out. “I have no need for childish dreams and misguided hope.”
What does it matter? I have nothing. I am nothing. There’s nothing for me in this rotten world.
Her hum of acknowledgment reaches his ears. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”
Scaramouche scowls. Stop poking around in my head. You have no authority over my thoughts, Buer. Get lost.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m here to give you a second chance.”
“I don’t want it. It’s pointless to put me on the path to redemption. Inane, even.”
“Redemption starts with recognition. If you realize that what you’ve done is wrong and are willing to change, redemption will find its way to you.”
He inhales a long, weary breath. “What more is left for me?”
Scaramouche, despite his grandiose title, feels small lying here and contemplating the worth of his existence.
“Plenty of things—good and bad—that you’ve yet to experience.”
He tries to envision what these things could be and turns up blank.
Strange. I was so certain… He sits up in bed, clutching the space where his heart would be if he was human. I could have sworn there was something…
He gazes at his palms next. What happened while I was unconscious?
Surely he witnessed a joyous scene. Otherwise why would he wake feeling so…hopeful?
Inhaling a resolute breath, Scaramouche decides it doesn’t matter.
“Why don’t you take some time to think about it? I may not know the full extent of the turbulence in your mind, but I do know it’s not something to treat lightly.”
The void is both loud and quiet when she departs, and now he’s forced to come to terms with his reality. He lost. Even as a manufactured deity, he was still unfit for godhood. It was a moment so short-lived it was practically a blink—insignificant in the colossal tapestry of time.
“What a joke,” he spits, glaring at the wall ahead. “All of that for nothing…”
He sits back against the cushions and drowns in the silence. It doesn’t comfort him.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Where has he heard that line before?
Perhaps it was just another delusion.
Scaramouche’s gaze is drawn to the bouquet next. The flowers are fresh and vibrant, each blossom a representation of good health and happiness. Someone placed these here. Someone went out of their way to assemble a bouquet in his honor and then send it over. He wonders if this is the work of Lesser Lord Kusanali.
Who else could muster the empathy for a sorry creature like him?
Will knowing put you at ease?
He thinks it might. At the very least, it would soothe a restless part of his being—the part that craves a connection and yearns to be wanted despite everything he’s done. He wants a heart and a home. He wants to feel the rays of the sun stinging his skin and bathe in the exhilaration of being alive and in the moment. He wants to finally know all of the sweetness he was deprived of in life. The sweetness that comes from love in all its many shapes and forms.
Scaramouche reaches for the bouquet and pauses. He could swipe it off the table and watch rumpled petals scatter amidst shattered glass in a puddle. He could ignore it and pretend it’s not worth his time or attention.
He wants to act like it doesn’t matter, but something’s nagging at him.
For once, the feeling isn’t terrible. For once, he has something to look forward to—an anchor to cling to in this vast, wild sea.
And he isn’t going to let go.
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pxtched · 3 days
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NERD!MIGUEL X QUEENBEE!READER
PROLOGUE — let’s make a deal…
series warning - eventual smut , profanity , sexual themes , drug/alcohol usage (don’t do any of these things!) , blackmail , fighting (verbal and physical) , reader being a queenbee, Miguel is a loner at the star but grows some balls later on.
chapter warning - profanity , it’s so short , fighting (verbal) , blackmail , Miguel kinda is a loner here , literally has the worst timing known to man kind.
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He’s always at the library, far back too. He reads whatever book he needs to read without any human communication. What a loser!
He always caught your eye, I mean. Why wouldn’t he? He’s such a loner, it’s so easy to miss him. Not you though, you noticed his little pattern. Going to lectures and going straight to the library.
He’s a sore loser, and you heard he dosent even know you! How disrespectful!
but you can’t focus on that right now, you’re currently putting someone in their place in the library because they think they have the right to stand up to you! How dare they, who do they think they are?
“What makes you think you can say that?” You scoffed, crossing your arms with a smirk on your face as you stared at the angry male in front of you.
“I have every right you bitch! I’m tired of you treating me around like I’m some toy to you!” He yelled and you just laugh at him. “Oh please, Don’t act like you’re all that. Did you forget I have proof of you cheating on your girlfriend?” You remind me and he immediately shuts up.
You smirked and walked up to him, harshly grabbing his chin to make him look at you. Your smirking, amused face turn into a stern serious one.
“Know your place. because I can just send your girlfriend all of the pictures, text messages and voice messages.” You advised him then smirked at him once again when you see his face drop and his face pales. You then spoke again “don’t want to ruin your 3 year relationship do you?” You cooed at him.
You waited for his response and when he shook his head no, you scowled “good, act like this again and I won’t hesitate to do it.” And you let go of his chin harshly and turned around to leave but once you do.
You see Miguel.
He looks at you, he tries to leave but you glared at him and immediately said.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
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“I’ll leave, I’ll forget this even happened!” Miguel stumbled over his words, you ignored as you walked towards him. Looking at him in the flesh fully. “No, no. It’s fine, you’re that smart kid right?” You asked him and he hesitates until you glared start him to answer.
“Mhm!” He answers and you smiled. “Then let’s make a deal…Miguel right?” You asked him as you raised an eyebrow.
He was surprised you knew his name. “Y-yes, that’s me.” He spoke, You hum in response.
“You know, I see you getting picked on the by the jocks and some girls. You’re getting tired of it? You want that to stop don’t you?” You chuckled as you looked at him.
You see him look away, like he’s scared to admit it but he nods.
You chuckled as you put you arm around his shoulder and pull him closer to you. You look at you nails on your other hand as you spoke.
“Then I Can Make you a deal, how about this. You do my work for me, you do what I say and I’ll…make you stop getting picked on. You’ll be perfectly alone and fine.” You proposed to him and you see his eyes widened at your words.
The guy you were scolding was about to warn him but you give him a death stare and looked at the door. Signaling him to keep his mouth shut and get out.
and he did so. Now it’s just you and Miguel.
You looked back at him “So how about it?” You asked him with a smirk on your face awaiting his answer.
You can tell he’s thinking about it, and he looks back at you. “I accept.”
You smirked.
This will be fun.
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The next day, he’s suddenly realizes that no one is bothering him. He notices the looks he’s getting, but no one dares to mess with him.
As he’s sitting in his usual table in the library, and he hears footsteps coming towards him. He looks up and sees you standing in front of his table. A hand resting on your hip as the other hand holding some papers.
You smiled at him.
“Like the difference, Miguel?” You spoke. you face looks cocky even though your voice is sweet like honey.
He nodded and looked at the papers in your hand. “What’s that?” “Work, just like our promise.” You put some papers on his desk, he looks at the papers and looks at you.
“Aren’t you doing the same thing they were doing?”
Your smile immediately fades. “The first day and you’re already getting on my nerves, You made the deal did you not? I fulfilled your part and now it’s your turn. I Can always make them go back to bulling you again, do you want that?”
He stammered, he cannot risk the only peace he has so suddenly. He shook his head and you smiled again. “Good, it’s not a lot. Pretty sure you’ll get it done in about 20 minutes or so. Have fun!” You waved him goodbye and left.
as he is now alone again, he wonders.
Was this worth it? What is he getting him self into?
Time can only tell.
END OF PROLOGUE
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tags - @pinkhelados , @jadeloverxd , @syler-griffin , @monarchberrysblog , @ultravioletrayz - if you want to be in the tag list lmk!
a/n - guys, I’m so sorry this took SO SO long and it’s not even that long. I been struggling with a lot of stuff, and I didn’t have the motivation to write. I apologize for being gone for so long.
REBLOGS - COMMENTS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED! THANK YOU FOR READING!
M.L — GUIDELINES —
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Do I wanna know ? || Blue Lock
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Blue lock headcanons ! : Red flags + Arguments
Characters : Rin Itoshi, Sae Itoshi, Michael Kaiser & Alexis Ness (Separately)
Description: Their red flags in a relationship and how your arguments would look like
Word Count: 957
Warning/s: Arguments, All of them are assholes here, Mild swearing, Degradation, Emotional manipulation, Slight Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Kaiser, Most of this might be OOC
Note: This was originally supposed to be crack hcs but I thought it would be fun to make it serious 😭I am not romantacizing any of these red flags and if these things are happening in your irl relatioship please seek help
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Rin Itoshi
After his brother left he started to act coldly to everyone else- including you.
As he would dedicate his entire life to football, it meant sometimes ignoring your needs,
Whether intentionally or unintentionally he would brush you off, leaving you to deal with things alone
Rin would be insensitive towards your feelings- saying things that would hurt you unknowingly
“You know… You didn’t need to say that…” You looked down at the ground as Rin just stared at you coldly, as if you were nothing. “Say what? That you aren’t important enough for me to care about? I talk to you almost everyday, isn’t that enough?” He said, his voice laced with venom. It hurt you, to say the least. Was it the way he said it so indifferently? Or was it the way he looked at you as if you were a nobody, someone who he just saw as a stepping stone to his goal. “Rin ! Can’t you just understand that you can’t just say that to me and expect me not to feel hurt from it?! Why do you treat me as just a ‘someone’ to you!? I’m your fucking girlfriend for god’s sake— can’t you understand that I need you to at least talk to me and act like you love me?!…”
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Sae Itoshi
Similar to rin, he would act cold to you, but unlike rin he does it intentionally
Sae could ghost you for days and respond with a simple “k”
He doesn’t really realize that what he’s doing is a bad thing, and he refuses to accept his faults
Doesn’t trust you AT ALL but he himself lies or keeps things from you intentionally
“Sae… We need to talk” You looked at your boyfriend as he was laying on your bed, he turns to look at you with a bothered look. “What is it this time Y/n…” Sae groaned as he got his phone to do something. “Sae- listen, I know it’s kind of selfish for me to ask but… can you try to make time for me… You never really talk to me that much anymore…” You mumbled, but it was loud enough for Sae to hear you. “Am I not good enough for you?” He asked rhetorically with an annoyed look on his face. “No- That’s not what I meant-“ You shrieked as Sae suddenly stood up and walked up to you and grabs your wrist. “Then stop being selfish. I’m here aren’t I? I took a trip away from Spain to see you, can’t you just be thankful that I’m spending my time with someone as worthless as you?”
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Michael Kaiser
Michael is a really complex character to say the least,
He can manipulate you into doing things that would benefit him under the guise of “making him happy”
Forces you to be more dependent on him so you feel more obligated to do what he wants
Sae 2.0 but worse
Puts himself above you, seeing you as just a emotional support when he’s upset
Expects you to be there for him whenever he’s angry or distressed, but doesn’t do the same for you because he thinks he’s more important than you.
Has MAJOR attachment issues and even if things got extremely toxic you couldn’t leave. He either guilts you into staying or you just come back to him.
You walked up to Kaiser after one of his matches, “Michael… I don’t know if it’s the right time, but can we talk?” Kaiser looked at your serious face with his usual playful look. “What is it, mein liebling? I don’t have all day” He said with a playful yet degrading tone. “I… I wanna break up, this isn’t working out. I just feel exhausted—“ You were cut off as Kaiser grabbed your wrist, his nails digging into your skin. “If you think you can leave me just like that, then you're fucking stupid” He pushed you down on the ground as he moved his hand to grab your hair, “I'm the only who would ever love your pathetic ass; you're worthless without me, so don't even try to leave me. Understood?”
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Alexis Ness
Ness gets jealous easily. Seeing how he acts around kaiser, it’s not too far fetched to think he would act the same around his partner.
He doesn’t let you go out alone because he’s afraid that you would leave him for someone else.
Overprotective in a bad way
He gets picky over what you wear because it will attract attention and someone might ‘steal’ you from him
Will get into fights with you over kaiser
Guilt tripper pt. 2
“No. You will not go out tonight.” Ness said as he stared at you from the hallway, “Why not? I'm just gonna go out with my friend, and it's a mall ‘Lexis, It's not like I'm gonna leave you…” You explained but he ignored you and walked to the door, effectively stopping you from leaving. “Y/n… Why can’t you just listen to me!? You’re always picking someone over me, do you even love me anymore!?” Ness started crying, in shock you instinctively hugged him, as an attempt to comfort. “No wait— That’s not what I meant ‘Lexis, of course I love you. Please… don’t cry over me… I won’t leave anymore, I’ll stay.” You said as you tried to comfort Ness, you failed to notice the smirk he held.
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stolitzsings · 2 days
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It's just SO fucking good and so fucking gutwrenching how much sense both of their mistakes make for them
And how backed into a corner both of them felt
It's completely understandable that Blitz would feel blindsided by Stolas’s confession- from his perspective it's coming out of nowhere
But this is something Stolas has been wrestling with for months now, and it's slowly killing him. He starts off his day with an anxiety vomit bc of how stressed he is about this conversation, and he also thinks this might be his one and only chance to tell Blitz how he feels. He's giving Blitz the crystal, no strings attached, so for all he knows he might not ever see Blitz again after tonight. He needs to lay it all out there if he wants Blitz to understand
Also Stolas has been trying to show Blitz he cares for so long: inviting him to hang out for things, suggesting movies and comfort after the turmoil of Ozzie's, letting Blitz take the lead on whether to see him for the full moon each month, plus everything Blitz mentioned to Fizz! Liking his pictures and asking him how he is and all those things that Blitz dismissed because he simply couldn't fathom that Stolas would actually be interested in him. Stolas has been giving him space and checking in on how he's feeling and offering to talk about things, presumably for months now, all in a bid to show Blitz they could have more than a transactional relationship.
And he'd been hyping himself up to have this conversation, telling himself it could go great! Maybe Blitz would be just as happy as he was! Maybe he felt the same and this would all work out!
But even though Blitz does care about him, he's fucking terrified to show or even acknowledge it, because feelings mean getting hurt. And he's been shutting himself off from the possibility of Stolas having those feelings for months as well. He can't allow himself to hope for anything more, and anyway it would just complicate things, so best to stick to nice, safe sex stuff like he's sure Stolas wants to anyway.
So he completely misses all the times Stolas is trying to give them a way forward, and as a result he just can't believe Stolas’s confession could be real. And then he REALLY fucks up. This has to be a sex thing, right? The one thing he's convinced himself Stolas wants, especially tonight? He's thinking "there's no way anyone could love me like this," but all Stolas hears is "there's no way YOU could love me like this."
Because while Blitz has been shutting out any hope that Stolas could love him, Stolas has been CLINGING to scraps of hope that Blitz might love him, in order to give himself the strength to have the conversation they're having now. I don't think he understands why Blitz wouldn't leap at the chance to believe him.
To Stolas, this is confirmation that Blitz still sees their relationship as the same as it was after Ozzie's, when he said their relationship was just sex and Stolas SAW how unhappy he was. Clearly, Blitz still feels this whole thing is about Stolas wanting Blitz to fuck him, and it's not fair to keep him trapped in that dynamic. He thinks the conversation is over, he has his answer because Blitz wasn't happy then so he clearly isn't happy now.
Stolas spends the rest of the scene trying to bow out gracefully. He thanks Blitz for changing his life and tries to escape before he really breaks down. Remember, he's going through an acrimonious and, to be frank, VIOLENT divorce right now, with the person that he's terrified of becoming in his relationship with Blitz. He would do anything to get out of his shitty relationship quietly, so clearly the kindest thing he could do is let Blitz go without making a fuss.
But Blitz is only just realizing that he read the situation so wrong. When he chases after Stolas, Stolas might see it as just another person following him around his house to yell at him. For Blitz, though, he's scared, he's angry at Stolas for springing this on him, and he feels like Stolas is trying to discard him because of one dumb thing he just did. Stolas doesn't know how many times Blitz has been dropped before because of one fuckup. He doesn't get how close he's gotten to Blitz's past trauma. Meanwhile Blitz is trying to get Stolas to give him a second to figure shit out, to just stick with him and not expect him to have all the answers right away.
And when Stolas doesn't give him that, because he's convinced that Blitz is still unhappy and is now just trying to make this hurt as little as he can, Blitz retreats back into anger. Finally Stolas is discarding him just like he always knew he would eventually. Their relationship has been such a rollercoaster for both of them and he just needs a little time, dammit! So now this feels like just another case of someone throwing him away for not living up to their expectations.
Stolas can't hear him asking for time, though. All he sees is Blitz following him to curse him out, to yell about how shitty he is, just like Stella has always done. And Blitz is right!!! Stolas was so crushed by the initial rejection that he didn't give Blitz the space he needed to process things. Blitz wants to talk and yell and fight through things and get all the shit out there. But Stolas is so focused on holding himself together for just a little longer.
Stolas's biggest fear was that he'd trapped Blitz in their arrangement, and the way Blitz tries to ask for time and engagement unfortunately hits directly on that. Blitz is yelling that Stolas doesn't get to just dismiss him, he deserves a chance to be heard and to figure shit out, and to have an actual conversation about this. But Stolas fixates on Blitz’s accusation that he's treating him like a servant, and assumes that he's referring to their entire relationship. It confirms, in his mind, that Blitz was never with him willingly and would never want to be with him willingly.
And it must hurt so much to hear Blitz call him a "pompous, rich asshole" in that moment, when he has been trying so hard to be selfless about this. He made himself so vulnerable with this confession and the gift of the crystal. He put everything he had out in the open. But if Blitz thinks he's an asshole, well, there's no way he could share his feelings, right? He's being vulnerable, and probably expected Blitz to do the same and lay his true feelings out there as well. And Blitz really is trying, but he's still using anger and insults because they're familiar and safe. PLUS there's the added panic of "Oh fuck, how badly did I hurt him that he thinks of me like this?"
Stolas doesn't know how many times Blitz has been abandoned for fucking something up, and Blitz doesn't know how many times Stolas has had to shut down and endure tirades of abuse he couldn't escape from. Stolas thinks he's done all of this and Blitz still can't see him as anything but a stuck-up, frigid jerk. And if this desperate, grand gesture wasn't enough to get Blitz to see how much he cares, well, what hope is there?
He's still reeling from what he perceived as Blitz’s mockery of the very idea that Stolas could care for him. He tried to leave peacefully but Blitz won't let him bow out, still wants to yell at him and tell him how shitty he is, won't even give him the dignity of breaking down in private. Never mind that those weren't Blitz’s intentions at all. Stolas was so scared, so tentative about this, that Blitz’s almost inevitable incredulous/messy reaction was bound to hurt.
Both of them are working off their own assumptions, their low opinions of themselves, and their past traumas, and can't see enough of each other's histories to understand that's what they're doing.
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cntloup · 7 hours
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medieval au you finally find out what your husband does
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
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"does it bother you?" you ask as you lay in your husband's arms, "what?" he asks, peering down at you, confusion written on his face.
"that i was... a prostitute." you respond, lifting your head from his chest and gazing into his gorgeous brown eyes as realization settles in them.
"no." he replies with a slight shake of his head, "no?!" you question in a surprised tone.
"no." he repeats, "what bothers me is the fact that you had to do it, the circumstances that forced you into it."
"and i assure you..." he continues, "that you never have to do that again. in fact, you will never have to even lift a finger as long as i'm here."
"simon..." you call out breathily, a dreamy smile painting your face and he pulls you in for a sweet kiss.
as soon as your lips meet, the sound of footsteps and metal clanging in the distance reach your ears.
he's on high alert and instinctively shields you from any possible danger, his large body covering yours as he faces the door, ready to jump at whoever dares to attack him and his wife.
"stay here." he whispers to you and reaches to take his sword beside the bed, "simon? what's happening?" you ask, frightened and confused.
he turns to you as he reaches the bedroom door, "don't make any sound. whatever happens, whatever you hear, you stay here and keep quiet."
"wha-" you start and he shushes you, "under the pillow." he says, gesturing for you to look.
your hand reaches under his pillow and you take the dagger hidden there, "use it if necessary." he says and leaves the room.
you squeeze your eyes shut as your hands tightly hold onto the dagger, crying silently in utter fear.
the sound of shouting and swords clanging against one another and bodies falling and hitting the floor fill the house.
and you pray, although not religious, you pray to whomever there is above listening, that no harm comes to him.
after what feels like an eternity of terror, he enters the room, "we have to go." he informs you while clutching his abdomen as he bleeds into his shirt and hand.
"oh my god, simon!" you rush to his side and remove his hand to take a look at the wound.
he winces as you remove the part of his shirt that was stuck to the wound, "sorry." you apologize.
your eyebrows furrow and you wince in pain, as if you can feel it as you glare at the deep wound.
"you know how to sew?" he asks, "i've got it." you utter and leave to bring your sewing kit, trying so hard to keep your composure and not scream in his face asking what the fuck just happened. he's hurt and he's your priority right now.
you guide him to sit on the bed and sew him up with your delicate hands, shedding silent tears as you think about how you nearly lost him, and the amount of blood frightens you, "don't worry, love. it's nothing. i've had worse." he says, wiping away the tears running down your cheeks and you scoff at his attempt to lighten the mood.
you finish patching him up and place a clean cloth over the wound.
"we have to go now. there has to be more coming." he says and you help him to get up as you witness him struggling.
"go where? who even were they?" you ask in frustration, you still have no idea what it is all about, "i'll tell you on the way. now pack up your stuff." he replies monotonously, only adding to your frustration, but you stay cool and obey.
he informs the lads of the attack and you all gather in a large ship... which is your husband's apparently. there's a whole lot you don't know about him.
"you're a bloody pirate?!" you shout with widened eyes, surprised and angry and all the emotions in between.
"...yes." he mutters, "and there's a prize on my head."
"what?! simon, what the hell?! when were you gonna tell me??!" you start shouting in his face and slapping his chest, unleashing all the anger and frustration you felt.
"i wasn't planning on it." he responds, his nonchalance only fueling the fire of your rage towards him as you huff and puff, glaring daggers at him and pacing the length of the ship.
"i know it's a lot to take in-" he starts, only for you to cut him off, "damn right it is." you snarl, but immediately take a deep breath to cool yourself down, "but it's not your fault."
"i'm sorry, simon. i know i overreacted." you apologize as you walk up to him and embrace him while keeping wary of his injury.
"not at all, love. you have every right to." he says, wrapping his big burly arms around you and taking you in his loving embrace.
"you need to rest." you murmur, looking up at him, "only if you stay with me." he whispers, slowly leaning in, "always." you say and capture his lips with yours, both smiling widely into the kiss.
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ashsimpsalot · 2 days
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Home to home (Monkey Man Kid X Reader)
A/n: that scene where his ptsd got triggered.
didn't know what to tittle this so it's based in the song I listened to while I'm wriitng:
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He can't breathe
He can't breathe
Fuck!
He can't fucking breathe!
In through the nose. Out through mouth, Kid.
Breathe, you big baffoon! You've done this before, a million fucking time, BREATHE!
"Fuck!" he raged next to the dumpster, his throat is closing up. He feels his lungs falling apart. Stupid cigarettes!
Fuck this can't be it, this can't be how he goes.
He looks down at what he assumes to be his hands, are they? They're too blurry, shit is it his hands shaking making them blurry? Is it his eyes?
He needs to breathe
He needs to fucking breathe
He needs to
He needs..
You
He needs you
Kid reached into his back pocket, feeling a cold metal object against his fingertips he just fished them out. Hoping that it is his phone. By pure luck he tried searching for you contact number, pressing the phone to his ear desperately after
He hears it ring
Fuck what time is it?
How long has it been?
A month? Two months? Since he told you his stupid desire to seek out his mother's murderers?
'you can't do this to me, Kid. We fought so fucking hard! Remember? The orphanage, the poverty. We were homeless at some point! You can't-you can't up and leave when we're finally stable like this,'
he remembers your frantic eyes searching into his empty ones. You're desperate to keep him in this life, this dream you two built together. The guilt of surviving yet not avenging his mother's death left a heavy feeling in his chest, so heavy he spent weeks on the bed, barely leaving, eating, taking care of himself. It was you, you took care of him.
And he decided to get on his feet and throw everything out for revenge.
Ungrateful bastard.
He hears the phone rang. Why is it still ringing? You wouldn't have the heart to leave him hanging... Right?
'I swear, Kid, I won't search for you if you step out of that door.' fuck that's right, you swore-
"hello?" your voice drowsy with sleep. He can imagine it, your hair spilled everywhere on that floral pillow, sleeping in one of his big shirt with only some shorts under. Eyes barely open.
"hello? Don't play with me right now, I'm sleepy as fuck." the irritation in your voice makes it clear that you didn't open your eyes to see the caller ID.
He called your name, fighting against the dryness of his throat.
"Kid? What time is it? Are you okay? What's going on?" he could hear you waking up by each word you said. "why are you breathing like that, are you hurt?"
He didn't even realise the wheezing he was making.
"can't.. Breathe.." he croaked out.
"Kid? Baby, hey, follow me, huh? Breathe in through your nose, hold, out through your mouth."
He's been repeating that to himself but somehow when you do it, it works, he could finally breathe at least a little. You guided him multiple times until he thinks he's stable enough.
"where are you? Queenie's hotel?" of course you knew, when he told you about his plan he told you everything. No matter how angry you are at him you remember everything he says.
Kid nods before realising you can't see him. "yeah.." he keeps trying to steady his breath. "I'm coming."
"cheeni, no-"
"shut up, I'm coming," he heard the final stern tone in your voice and didn't bother fighting back.
He stayed on the phone the whole time, staring out somewhere, his breathing even but mind is as messy as a jungle. He realised you stayed on the phone too. He only murmured a few words when you asked him where he was
He had no idea how long he was sitting on that curb.
"Kid, hey," your voice reel half of him back into the cold night. You have your hand cupping his cheek, trying to get him to look at you.
"hey, I'm here,"
He sighed when he felt the familiar pattern, a kiss to the forehead, another to the nose and two for the lips. Your fingers buried in his curls. "hey, bandhar, you hear me?" he finally looked at you.
"I saw.. My maa in her." he whispered, eyes locked with yours. You had no idea who he was referring to but you nodded. "okay, come on, baby." you simply said, trying to get him on his own feet. "you finished your shift?"
He simply nodded. Wordlessly got onto his feet, clutching onto your waist.
"I saw maa," his head hung low, curls covering his face, his tall figure that always seems to stand unapologetically is slumped.
You cupped his cheek with one had, brushing your thumb against his cheek.
"bandhar, look at me." you called sweetly, trying to get his attention. He finally lifted his head to look at you, his once slicked back hair had return to their original floof.
Though you do realise his hair is a little dry.
"how about you get on my bike hm? I'll take you home. Get you something to eat, run a cold shower, we'll lay down together and you can tell me about your day." you looked at him, his eyes never left your. Both of your hands had cupped his cheek at this point.
"i can go home?" his vouce sounded so tiny, unlike the man you know. You nodded and planted a kiss on his forehead
"of course baby, anytime," you simply said, heart breaking that he thought you'd be so cruel to deny him of his own home.
He didn't say much the whole ride, just hugged you from behind tightly, buried his face into your neck, letting the wind go through his hair.
Once you're home you guided him by his hand. He just mindlessly followed. You changed him, gave him a cup of water and now end up on the bed with him, his face laying on your stomach, basically draping over you like a blanket.
"I saw her," he whispered, hating how insane he sounded. "heard her screams again," he continues. Running your fingers through his soft hair, you felt guilty, what were you thinking? Letting a man with severe PTSD and survivor guilt roam around by himself after admitting that he has thoughts on revenge? And the fact that he was barely leaving the bed 3 weeks prior. That's an obvious red flag.
You took his hand and kissed his palm, letting him say what he needs to, letting him come back to you as he wants to.
"I'm sorry," you quietly say, caressing his hand. Kid looks up to you confused.
"I should've tried to understand you, instead I blew it out of proportion and argued with you, asking you to choose resulting in you leaving? It's so stupid" you continued.
Kid shook his head, he drew circles on your hip, his head laid back on your stomach. "you have your own issues too. I knew... About your families just up and abandoning you, fleeing the country and stuffs and in a way maybe you see me putting myself at risk as leaving you," his said, eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought.
You hummed, playing with his hair again. Twirling one of the curls that strayed.
"I guess when you meet at an orphanage you just kind of have baggage," you tried joking but he nodded, taking it seriously. "it's true," and he turned to look at you, pushing himself up.
Repeating the pattern you both have been doing since you were 16, just two orphans sneaking kisses around in the orphanage, one kiss on the forehead, one for the nose and twice on the lips.
"im glad I met you, you're the only good thing that came out of this whole thing. You're my anchor, you know that?" he asked, kissing you after. You've missed this, the pressure of his kiss on your lips.
You smiled, caressing his cheek softly. "you're my whole world," you replied, smile flattening. "you promise, you won't leave? You won't take these unnecessary risks?" you cant go through another month of not knowing what he was doing. Worry that he might have fuck with the wrong people and end up dead at the side of the street of Mumbai somewhere.
He nodded and kissed your forehead, his fingers tracing circles on your soft stomach. "I promise, cheeni, I promise,"
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sokkastyles · 7 hours
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​That the Katara detractors keep up this insistence on being seemingly hard of hearing regarding The Southern Raiders is a continual annoyance, sweet Christ in heaven. What she said was that Sokka didn't love Kya the way she did... that that was in response to *Sokka* saying that, “Aang might be right”... that she need *forgive* the man who M U R D E R E R E D T H E I R M O T H E R, who burned her to death, whose actions had it so an 8 year old Katara walked in on the sight of her mother’s charred corpse and so smelt her burnt flesh. 😑 That Sokka seemingly has no real desire on his part to go and confront their mother's murderer, to Katara I'm sure might take to be an insult to Kya's memory, it's not just that but for Sokka to suggest that Katara's wanting to do so might very well be w r o n g. T_T So yeah, she lashed out, I should damn well hope she did, like, you expect anything else?!
Do you know what also gets me about it? All the memes that act like Katara brings up her trauma unprompted at every opportunity (she doesn't) and then when someone says something insensitive to her about her trauma and how she should deal with it, she should just keep silent.
And even if you don't think Sokka was being insensitive, Aang was, and Sokka acting like Aang was being rational when he was actually being very dismissive and flippant is something Katara should rightfully be angry about.
Also, the way Sokka frames it isn't helpful and is entirely about himself, not about what Katara is feeling. Even the "she was my mother, too..." comes across as an attempt to invalidate how Katara feels the same way Aang says "how do you think I felt when I lost Appa/my people." They make it about themselves and their loss rather than empathizing and then act like their feelings give them authority over how Katara should feel. And she's right to be upset about that.
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scoobydoodean · 16 hours
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BOBBY He's gonna find out, you know. One way or another, someone'll tell him, or he'll figure it out on his own. He's not dumb. He should it hear it from us. DEAN Can we just leave it alone for the moment, please? BOBBY Okay. But you better prep for the B side, 'cause when Sam realizes we're shining him, it ain't gonna be cute.
I must have seen this and the scene where Cas scolds Dean for putting Sam's soul back in giffed 10 times at least while looking for 6.12 gifsets in various archives and I think it's obvious why, given how rancid soulless Sam disk horse can get. It suits a narrative certain fans want to sell to take this out of context and make it look like Dean is being controlling—is babying Sam, trying to keep something from Sam that Sam deserves to know—and Sam is going to be rightfully mad at Dean treating him like a kid. That's such a narrow view that omits so much obvious context and Bobby ends up being completely wrong about Sam's reaction.
For one, Bobby says all this because he's struggling with being around Sam after soulless Sam tried to murder him the previous episode. Bobby's motivation for saying this is that he wishes he could clear the air. Unable to do so, he isn't sure how to explain why he doesn't really want to be in the same room with Sam (and boy is that a reversal from 6.06 where Bobby did not understand Dean's discomfort with soulless Sam and told him to stop being a baby).
For another, Dean's pleading "Can we just leave it alone for the moment, please?" really reveals his motivations for hiding the truth aren't about Sam as much as they're about DEAN needing space to process what soulless Sam did to him. What soulless Sam did to Dean and the way he behaved around him was fucking creepy. Telling Sam everything that happened while he was soulless won't just reveal information to Sam about himself—it requires Dean to reveal painful, personal details of some extremely uncomfortable experiences of his own that he doesn't really want to talk about. As a victim of that behavior, Dean deserves space to work through it. And the way he words it here, it's a request for TIME before they tell Sam the truth, so that Dean can BREATHE and PROCESS.
Bobby is right that Sam figures out he was soulless pretty quickly, but after figuring out Dean didn't tell him the truth, Sam isn't full of anger. He immediately understands Dean's hesitation to tell him the truth and understands it isn't about him.
It's about Dean not wanting to talk about the parts of Sam's soulless escapades where Dean was his victim.
SAM: Dean... DEAN: Yeah? SAM: I am so...so sorry. I can't even begin to say. DEAN: For what? SAM: You know what. DEAN: Did Bobby... SAM: Cas. DEAN: Cas. Friggin' child. SAM: You should have told me, Dean. DEAN: You weren't supposed to know. SAM: What I did? To Bobby? To you? Of course I should know.
Sam says "You should have told me," but notably, it isn't in an angry, accusatory tone. He's gentle. His focus is actually on DEAN and BOBBY and how Sam should know what he did so he can adjust his behavior accordingly for THEIR comfort.
Unlike the fans who love to harp on this moment as some proof of SAM being victimized by Dean (which bothers me for several reasons) Sam understands Dean's hesitancy wasn't just about keeping Sam safe, but was also about Dean being HURT by soulless Sam and deserving to have space to process that—the same way Bobby takes his space by deciding not to go on the hunt when Sam wants to join them.
Arguably, nobody should have been pushing for Dean to be the one to tell Sam everything to begin with. It's really for the best that Cas was able to share the details of what happened with Sam (however unwitting he was when doing so) because I don't know that Dean could have really talked about it. The moment in the car before Sam figures out how much time he's missing is bad enough:
SAM: So you never even tried, huh? DEAN: Tried? SAM: To go live a life...after. You do remember you promised that, right? DEAN: Yeah, I remember. SAM: So, why didn't you try? DEAN: What makes you think I didn't? SAM: 'Cause look at you. Look at this. You're exactly the same. DEAN: Yeah, you're probably right. A long pause. DEAN: I was with them for a year—Lisa and Ben. SAM: A year? DEAN nods. SAM: So then what? DEAN: Didn't work out. DEAN turns up the music.
Absolutely brutal. Sam's assumption that Dean didn't try stings all on its own, but it's especially hurtful (without Sam knowing that obviously) given soulless Sam was part of guilting Dean into leaving them in 6.02, and his actions with the vampire in 6.05 were what put such an upsetting end to Dean and Lisa's attempts at long distance. Regardless of whether you as a viewer thought Lisa and Dean could make things work in the absence of Sam's actions, that relationship ended in a particularly painful way riddled with fear and guilt because of Sam's actions in 6.05, instead of being allowed to end in a more amicable manner that could have provided more closure and mutual understanding. Dean can't say "Lisa and I had a terrible breakup because you let me get turned into a vampire on purpose and then I hurt Ben and I could have killed them and it was all because you didn't care about me or them and I was just a disposable piece of meat to you and now you're accusing me of not even trying to have a home like I wanted for so long because I'm a failure and that hurts like hell." All he can do is turn up the music.
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spoilers for iwtv s2e4
my thoughts after a rewatch:
i know claudia hates the baby loves window play but she ate up that little song
the lulu role really is so humiliating :(
louis’ expressions whenever he watches these plays always kills me lmao he hates theater kids
louis and armand talking over each other to daniel
armands theater notes lol
claudia no eyebrow big eyeliner look is kinda cunty ngl
im a fan of sam the irish vampire
making claudia be lulu all the time oooh armand i hate u so bad
almost threw up watching louis and armand give different answers to the companion question IN FRONT OF THE COVEN that shit was so embarrassing
i wouldve kms if i was armand
vamp catfight
armand stuck in this situationship dont worry king we’ve all been there😔
literally telling each other i love you and still having the what are we conversation
“do you notice how hot the room gets when you two talk about the secret” plsssss
louis only able to use the fire gift when hes angry👀👀 gee i wonder if thats gonna come back👀👀👀👀👀
louis going🤨🤨 to the schizophrenia question like it came out of nowhere
armands face while louis talked about dreamstat why not just shoot me in the head
loving these dutch angles whenever daniel dissociates and gets an armand memory
santiago looks so good in the gold suit? robe thing??
claudia santiago friendship is killing me santiago i know what u are
claudia killing the guy singing baby lu
i like that you can tell claudias french has gotten better. nice small detail
i love scenes of louis and claudia just talking about non vampire things
santiago mimicking louis was pretty cool
buffoon sighting!!!
whole dinner scene bangs
the guy saying theres smth “fragile” about armand in the photo louis took and louis saying “no he’s anything but” and then the guy saying “you’ve captured the soul he hides” 🤌🤌
louis would never survive a 4 hour art school critique
daniel telling a girl he’d only do her if she had a paper bag over her head??????
claudeline truthers how are we feeling
context for the eating paper clip in the trailer
romeo!!
armand is so down bad its sick
madeline tailoring a yellow dress for claudia😟😟
the whole claudeline interaction was great
amadeo☹️🔫
MARIUS KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!
the way armand talks about marius
MARIUS KILL YOURSELF x2!!!!!!
“no one has painted me in 400 years” fuck
madeline period blood moment. theres so much here about femininity and maturing might make a separate post about this scene
armand pinning claudia against a wall armand i hate you so bad
we already know that armand is powerful but seeing him choke and manhandle santiago really solidified that i think
picked another one over me!!
delainey is ACTINGGGGG
louis not believing claudia about armand ooooh louis i hate you so bad
love makes you stupid clock it
louis still referring to claudia as his daughter in his head (thru dreamstat)
louis just actively talking to himself girl do that in your head
park bench moment <3
“wanker” i giggled sorry
that suit is his favorite on him :(
“im a little wet” and armand instantly pulling out an umbrella, armand lighting his cigarette, armand calling him maitre
louis calling him arun and armand calling him maitre and then louis throwing away the lighter this fucking scene is cinematic art
the other coven members calling santiago maitre
i kinda like that daniel can hear them arguing from another room. i feel like its a very human experience? really domestic? even given the circumstances
armands eyes were never brown!!!
san francisco flashback episode might kill me im not kidding
insane way to end the episode
ok this was much longer than i thought it would be but this episode has a lot in it. each episode gets better and better and this is definitely my favorite of the season so far.
i am LOVING louis and armands relationship and also both of their story arcs and characterizations. their dynamic is kind of the opposite of what i, and i think a lot of other people, expected but it still makes total sense and im enjoying it a lot
god i love this show
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malspinningyarns · 2 days
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Random thoughts during Bridgerton season 3 rewatch, episode 3
The dream is so Mr. Darcy walking across the foggy field in the 2005 P&P
There is a editing mistake where Violet walks to Francesca twice pre and post Benedict’s comment to Gregory
Colin at Breakfast:
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Love Charlotte’s heart wig
Phillippa is so dumb. But this is why sex ed is important
Varley is so happy Penelope has a visitor and it’s Eloise
Another wrap to hide Claudia’s broken arm
No one really is going to notice Colin and Penelope unchaperoned again, aren’t they?
Colin’s coat looks dark purple in the light and Pen’s wrap has purple in it.
This is the most awkward Colin has ever been
Those are some massive antlers on that one taxidermy buck
Speaking as someone who is around a lot of taxidermy at work, you kinda just get used to it. But I see that look on Debling’s face very regularly
Debling’s WTF look the Cressida’s comment about rather being a predator than prey. 😂
There are some judgy faces from the Cowpers when Lord Cutbill talks to Francesca
Colin is in yellow, Penelope is in blue
Debling, don’t compare a woman to a dead animal (even I think their conversation is kinda cute otherwise)
The ballon is yellow and blue! (Of course it is)
I love that Dankworth is smart enough to make a double entendre and the Finches don’t get it
Colin is so down bad watching Penelope lick her fingers
Cressida is so lost at the beginning of the conversation with Debling
Penelope’s confusion at Eloise reluctantly bringing up the Great Auk and Eloise responding look of “Don’t ask” is a great moment
Penelope trying to get in on this bird conversation is me at work
I think this look is the best Colin look
Poor Colin is being bullied by these two guys
I do love Will and Alice even if I don’t fully know the purpose of their plot
I literally can’t figure out how old Lady Tilly is supposed to be
Business bitch in a sparkly suit
If I was Eloise, I also would not want to be a witness to this conversation
I love that it was the Dankworths getting interrupted that caused the balloon problem
Way to go everyone leaving Pen behind
Colin is so angry that Hawkins just gets on the balloon (and probably that Debling “saved” Pen)
Portia straight up denies Lord Hawkins in the cuntiest way. 😂
Love the suspenseful music for Cressida and Penelope’s chase to Debling
Francesca hearing he wants 8 children just smothered that relationship
Violet’s face crack realizing Marcus is Lady Danbury’s brother
The way Fran and John keeping looking at each other is very cute
Penelope using Colin’s comments about bravery to talk to Debling 😭
Debling just gave Cressida’s lemonade to Penelope, which is kinda a dick move. This man is fickle
Colin absolutely is not subtle around his mom
Colin’s head turn at that music chord is just *chef’s kiss*
I’m obsessed with the cellist’s crazy wig
So much gold in the foreground with the blue night in the background.
Colin’s going to cry watching this dance
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cande1808 · 3 days
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Episode 5 is one hell of a ride!! So this will be long!!
Firstly we have Susie with her father and you can see she doesn’t like the idea of Eddie being killed, so she starts thinking strategies to keep Eddie safe!! Bobby is a hardcore Susie Eddie shipper hahaha I think he wants both of them to realize they are good together.
Now, they play golf business partners 101!! (Partners who spend quality time together, stay together ;)) Here she mentions she wants him within the organisation… As an active member… I think that’s why she makes him part of the Belgium situation, to allure him with the idea of staying. 
When they are at the farm and the electricity runs off, Susie is girlboss!! But you can see that Eddie is second in command… Blanket goes with him and follows HIS orders!!
The travellers are introduced...
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This whole interaction in the caravan was hilarious but I love that both of them are relaxed around each other, in sync when the travellers want in, they both talk at the same time, having exactly the same reaction!! Then they make a decision together!! About passing the weed with the help of the travellers!! They discussed it together like partners!! And Eddie is the one IN CHARGE of the whole exchange and she lets HIM!! 
The moments before the rager, JP takes the poutin and they look at one another. It drives me crazy how they need to find each other to say are you hearing this fucking shit!! They need each other's support!! I’m DEAD! 
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These glimpses of the party!! Dancing together slowly… MARRIED!! I just can’t with the fact that the only time they aren’t discussing business or planning something, and they are truly relaxed in very different circumstances, they allow themselves to act on their feelings!! The way he looks at her, my boy is down bad!! AAAaggrrr
Get a man like Eddie that knowing you are hangover will go and say I’m gonna solve this!! Allowing you to rest. That is true love!! 
JP mentions they were cozy… She rolls her eyes (she remembers everything!!) I think because she can’t show she’s interested… she doesn’t allow her to accept her feelings for Eddie, and says it’s a work thing…  
She enters the warehouse and the duke is there leaning back on his chair and when he sees her, he SMIRKS!! (he remembers everything too!) Jesus just be together, pleaseeee!! Not only that, but he is in control, he follows her with his eyes and knows what she’s asking without her saying a word!!!
Here comes my favorite scene of the episode… He is smoking a cigar, she’s with her champagne, walking towards each other... You see it!! In their eyes, they are proud of each other, and what they accomplished!! Of what’s growing!! (and aroused ;))  HOOOOT!!! GOD!! I CAN’T!! 
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Then the money is stolen and HE takes charge, of everything and goes to give Susie his opinion and SHE listens!! I love how she says WE need to take a trip to Zeebrugge, because she needs him!!! In the restaurant scene; I enjoy how they finish each other’s sentences, the way they are comfortable around one another, and how they aren't afraid to show their dark side... True love!!
I love how he knows she's disappointed with the Keith situation so he is the one pouring the whiskey and asking HER how she wants to handle the situation (wifey is sad)… and her a very poised woman, who would never take her shoes off in front of anyone, is with her BARE FEET up and relaxed on a couch with HIM!! The intimacy and familiarity!! Aarrggg!! They’ll be my death! And the trust talk, when she says you never know… because even though she should not trust him, she DOES!! 
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When Susie is with Bobby discussing the business you can tell she’s clever and knows the business but Bobby is not listening, she is ten steps ahead!! My girl is THE BOSS!! LOVE HER!!
Eddie realizes there's no way out, he's angry and feels disregard for the whole Jethro's situation… I think he’s angry because she didn’t trust him by not telling him anything. 
Comment aside perhaps Geoff and Lady Sabrina’s love story shows us how Susie and Eddie story will be… the longing, the way they can’t be together (different backgrounds) but at the end they are!!
The denim jumpsuit drives me insaneeeee!!
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pouletaulait · 11 hours
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What is eating Yashiro?
After reading some comments about Yashiro and Doumeki's current relationship in Chapter 58 (sexbuddies if you will) I started wondering about what it is exactly that's hurting Yashiro so much in this situation. That Y thinks D has no feelings for him and only uses him for sex? While I believe that to be an element of his misery, I think if that was the only reason for his suffering, we'd make the assumption that a confession from Doumeki would magically resolve Yashiro's pain and I highly doubt that's the case because I think Y is not ready to accept D's feelings yet.
Yashiro is a very perceptive Person which is demonstrated throughout the series but oddly enough he's completely blind to the feelings of others towards himself e.g. Ryuuzaki's love for Y (which seemed painfully obvious to Doumeki). Imho this comes down to him not being able to accept these feelings, which is why he keeps explaining them away. Now, when it comes to Doumeki's behaviour after the time skip, there have been several instances that gave his feelings away (D getting furious over Y trying to have sex with Kido... Yashiro even confronted D with the fact that it doesn't make any sense for him to get so angry because of it; D's smile after Y showing an interest in his life; D's passionate kiss when Y answered "suki dayo") Normally Yashiro would be able to tell what all of this means but he is still feigning ignorance to himself which to me shows that he is not ready to accept love from others just yet and therefore I believe that a direct confession from Doumeki couldn't resolve anything to begin with.
I think what pains Yashiro most at the moment is his realization that he can't change even though he wants to. I believe he's now come to terms with his feelings for Doumeki but he feels unable to act on them and this is an issue which is completely seperate from Doumeki or his actions. I think that's why in the end of Chapter 57 he's not feeling upset because Doumeki is leaving him or because D might have a woman or anything related to D at all really, he's upset because of his supposed inability to change:
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So, I believe part of why Yashiro is avoiding any honest conversation with Doumeki is because he doesn't actually want to hear whether Doumeki still has feelings for him or not. He's well aware that he couldn't accept Doumeki's feelings because he has his trauma to deal with before he could ever dream of being in a happy relationship with Doumeki... and as of right now he feels completely powerless and lost because he doesn't know how to overcome his trauma.
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I feel like Sister Winchester would find Kevin while Dean is in purgatory and they would start escaping together, then when she finds Sam she is super angry and rightfully so and literally stops talking to Sam, I feel like the third time is the charm haha
First he left her for university, she accepted it and understood it.
Then he probably left her for Rubi (a demon), she (assuming we're talking about season 7 being a teenager) was probably a girl when Dean first died, so when Sam comes back the Winchester sister forgives him easily but I feel like as she grew up she would still have some resentment towards her brother.
And then when Dean dies again, Sam goes with Amelia to live his normal life while his brother is missing.
If we see it from Sam's perspective, maybe he is taking care of her or protecting her, but if we see from Sister Winchester's perspective that Sam doesn't seem to love her, even though Sister Winchester knows that deep down he does love her.
Do you think I can have thoughts like
"Maybe Sam doesn't like me?"
And would he express this by getting angry with Sam or walking away from him or both?
Do you think Sister Winchester develops some kind of fear of abandonment or of not fitting into her siblings' lives when they are not hunting?
Something similar happened with Lisa and Ben, I feel like the Winchester sister wouldn't really feel like part of the family.
Continuing, Sister Winchester gets upset with Sam. Do you think she gets too upset or how would they fix it? And how would Kevin take it?
Would it be like "hey, he's your brother" or would he just not get involved?
Sister Winchester would definitely start to get insecure after her older brothers keep abandoning her for “normal” lives.
She was happy for Sam during Stanford, she was hurt when he left with Ruby because even though he needed space, she needed him. When Dean left her for Ben and Lisa, she started to think that maybe it wasn’t Sam, but it was her; she was the problem.
Of course it wasn’t true—they just needed a taste of the apple pie life, and they thought that she would be safe at Bobby’s. They thought she’d be happy to be with Bobby, they didn’t think about how she’d miss them.
When Sam went off with Amelia, Bobby wasn’t around to take care of her anymore, so she crashed with Charlie. He felt like he didn’t have any other choice after Dean vanished—he was in a bad place, and he’d never taken care of her without Dean before.
That didn’t change the fact that the little sister would be so hurt by always being left. She felt like the brothers were the only thing holding their family going; whenever one left, the other never stayed with her.
When Dean comes back and they go to find the little sister, she doesn’t want to talk to them for a while. She tries so hard to pretend that she’s angry, but one night she breaks down to Sam and tells him how hurt she was that he left her behind.
Once Sam starts doing the trials, she’s more scared than ever. Most of the time she’s worried about Sam, but when she isn’t she wonders what will happen if the trials kill Sam—she doesn’t think she can get left behind again, but she’s too scared to tell her brothers that.
She tells Kevin, and he doesn’t know what to do about it—he wants her to make her own decisions about what to tell Sam and Dean. But he does tell her that he’s seen how much they care about her, and she really needed to hear it.
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tellmegoodbye · 1 day
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-> Music Monday
We're back!!
The playlists and docs have been updated with the submissions from last week. Go give them a listen!
Daylight - Shinedown
I was diagnosed with a fear of getting too close Had to tell the ones I love, I was on the ropes
It's amazing what the hard times can reveal Like who shows up, who walks away, and who's for real
You saved my life, not once but twice You keep me free from falling You saved my life, make it all alright When I don't feel like talking You make sure I always see the daylight
To me, this song encapsulates the relationships between everyone on the show. It's about the people who lift you up and have your back no matter what.
Fade In / Fade Out - Nothing More
Just the other day I looked at my father It was the first time I saw he'd grown old Canyons through his skin and the rivers that made them carve the stories I was told
He said, "Son, I have watched you fade in, you will watch me fade out When the grip leaves my hand, I know you won't let me down Go and find your way, leave me in your wake Always push through the pain, and don't run away from change Never settle, make your mark Hold your head up, follow your heart"
When the morning comes and takes me I promise I have taught you everything that you need In the night you'll dream of so many things But find the ones that bring you life and you'll find me
This is an emotional one, y'all. Firstly, I implore you all to check out the music video for this song. Bring tissues!
This song reminds me of Carlos and Gabriel. It's about a father and son that have a complicated relationship and grow apart as they get older. In the end they get to a point where they want to reconcile, but unfortunately, it's too late. However, the father knows his son is going to go achieve great things. It's bittersweet, yet hopeful.
Moondust - Jaymes Young
I'm building this house, on the moon Like a lost astronaut Looking at you like a star From the place the world forgot And there's nothing that I can do Except bury my love for you
Yeah, I'm living far away, on the face of the moon I've buried my love to give the world to you
The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough To bury my love in the moondust I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice To bury my love in the moondust
This is the ultimate breakup-era song! Carlos is trying to build his life and his home while loving TK from afar. He knows he may have to let him go, and he'll bury his love if that's what it takes for them both to move on and for TK to find happiness.
Time - NF
That's when I look at you and tell you I'd be better alone Just the pride talkin', isn't it? 'Cause both of us know I'm the definition of "wreck" if you look into my soul Comes out the most when I feel I'm in a vulnerable place Made a lot of mistakes I wish I knew how to erase When I'm afraid, might get distant and I push you away But no matter the case, I'ma do whatever it takes
Yeah, way before I bought you the ring We were fighting back and forth like you were wearin' the thing Two passionate people not afraid to say what they think Lead to passionate conversation when it's hard to agree
And I know it hurts knowing that I carry this weight on my chest Making it difficult for me to open up and connect Lot of regrets, I apologize for all of the stress That's not what I meant to do, you know I love you to death
Even if we both break down tonight And you say you hate me, and we go to bed angry I know everything will be alright I'll be here waiting, I promise I'm changing I just need time
Time is a very universal song when it comes to relationships. It's about recognizing your own issues and working on them, not only for yourself but in order to be a better partner. This is what TK and Carlos do every day.
Tags!
@strandnreyes @goodways @nancys-braids @captain-gillian @lemonlyman-dotcom
@carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk @literateowl @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos
@welcometololaland @reyesstrand @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet @theghostofashton
@goldenskykaysani @freneticfloetry @eclectic-sassycoweyes @whatsintheboxmh @honeybee-taskforce
@messymindofmine @fandomswonderland @kiwichaeng @reeeallygood @toomanycupsoftea
@firstprince-history-huh @fitzherbertssmolder @safeaswrites @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut
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