#it has hit me that maybe not everybody has done the same extensive searching I have

[justapalspal]

THE REPORT

This accidentally became known as “The Report” in my head, so please have this bullet point list of notable and buck wild ygo fics and things I’ve compiled. @yuusaris pretty much challenged me without challenging me to think up some old fic things I’ve read and it turned into a labor of love about the many things I’ve found on my deep dives into old ygo fandom, as well as things I’ve been fond of for almost ten years. Then I had to show it to @ninjam117 and @millenniumringg as I wrote it.

So yeah *cracks knuckles* my time has come.

There’s the obvious mentions of old oof ygo fic tropes and brief descriptions of nsfw, so it’s gettin a #spicy and #spicy text tag for that (and also a read more tbh it’s pretty long). Also included is gender au and a brief mention of two fics with mpreg (in a tame way), the ygo 2000s suicide trope, the abuse once or twice, and a couple other things too elaborated under the read more. Tread carefully fam <3

I’ve gone across ffnet, AFF, ao3, mediaminer, and even the livejournal remnants, but haven’t had very much luck with the personal website side of fic and such. Most of those are lost to time, or only saved via patchy geocities mirrors or wayback machine snapshots. I do my deep dives for fun so you don’t have to, so let’s have a good time as we wonder at what the eng yugioh fandom has given us under the cut—some of it absurd, some of it endearing, and some of it very obviously oof.

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Again, warnings for discussion of the following: bits of nsfw, gender au, mpreg, 2000s ygo suicide tropes (but not Ryou), 2000s ygo abuse tropes, one mention of (incredibly distant) incest and one other throw away line about the subject, and a couple very brief references to ships of Bandit Keith and Pegasus with Ryou. There is also one mention of Yami B with Mai.

Now that makes this all seem terrible but actually a lot of it is just funny. Like, in the most absurd way even though there’s a lot of instances of oof. I’m describing a lot of fics I’ve read over my time in the ygo fandom and a lot more I’ve found on my deep dives into the wilds of ygo. I don’t remember many of the titles. I’m sure some of them (aside from the confirmed ones) have been deleted. I focused more on the early 2000s era and put a cut off somewhere around 2015, since that’s an era of ygo I find particularly fascinating. Many of these fics are genuinely funny, and actually quite pleasantly oof free (or very minimal oof).

Some things I remember seeing:

One fic where Ryou decided he wanted to kill Bakura because he’d like snapped but along the way he became some sort of floozy (referred to much more ehhh-ly in fic) and decided to make out with every other male character conceivable, all while going after Bakura. Bakura was terrified. I think this was yandere Ryou 

I think there was a fic that gave Isis a yami in the necklace, and for some reason she had red hair(?) and she wasn’t brought up until like, chapter something-teen? There was no build up at all to her, but I remember distinctly being able to tell the author had the best time writing her. She was in love with Shadi iirc

Update: So turns out these two were the same fic and I shouldn’t have doubted my memory and also there’s YAMI SHADI

The one fic on mediaminer where Bakura committed suicide (or tried to) instead of Ryou. It was because Ryou didn’t come home on time.

The one very well written spellbook tender fic in which there was a completely random no holds barred genderswap arc where Bakura became a redhead girl and went to prom or something with Ryou because Ryou’s dad was so happy he knew a “girl” (but also angry because Bakura was “living” with him and so I think like. Papa wanted Ryou to make “an honest woman” out of Bakura. He found clothes there and them in the same bed and that was sCaNdElOuS.)

The ygotas personalities for no conceivable reason out the wazoo. Of Elevators and Muses comes to mind but good gosh for all its weird time capsule moments that fic is still fondly latched into my memory. I read it a whole year after it initially finished. I vividly remembered the hotel room scene where Bakura gets freaking flustered over seeing Ryou without his fancypants piano performance shirt and Bakura just kept rationalizing it away. Kyoko is my dream oc child. Bakura was a nervous anxious wreck and his pissed off attitude about it is something I still ridiculously adore to this day. He missed when he tried to kiss Ryou. I’m so sad it got taken down.

I won’t even get into the ancient, ancient Bakura gets mpreg’d fic(s) I am Thinking About

Or the Ryou mpreg ones

Here’s the tame one it’s the one fic where Bakura got pregnant by accident because neither he nor Ryou knew sex ed and “did it both ways to be sure” after Bakura drank the magic pregnancy potion instead of Ryou because their hot chocolate got swapped. Ryou cheated on Bakura later because he felt bogged down by the baby. The baby was named Rain. Actually it may have been because they had a second daughter but it was because Bakura cheated on him with one of the Maliks (I think it was after feeling ignored)

Hentai or Chikai Malik or something. It was some sort of “pervert” but not exactly pervert word, I think? Or maybe to do with love. Malik gained another personality after the end of canon and it was because he was horny and pent up (and repressed)

The bait and switch “genderbend” Ryou gemshipping fic. It was gay all along, fellas

The one fic that did a gender au of Bakura instead of Ryou but like, in a well thought out way actually. I’d have a surprising amount of nickels for the amount of times I’ve seen fics doing gender au of Bakura and not Ryou, actually.

That one dedicated vex shipper that is like what, still periodically updating their wip after 10 years? Mad respect 

Actually their host/vexship fic still lives in my head rent free sometimes. It was very well written and I was quite invested and read it in one night. Man, it felt like a novel

The hostship/thiefship combo fic where they ended up having a foursome but it was a threesome body-wise

 “Kaiba genuinely falls for Anzu and tries to woo her but Anzu is just like ‘wtf I don’t believe you?? you can’t win me with money? prove it? be nice to my friends???’ and he’s actually the worst at human interaction” gosh I need to find that again 

“Can you have a romance OC?” actually like the most well written OFC/main cast member I’ve ever seen, and that was after reading my then-fave Dr Who x OFC fic

No, wait, there’s also the slow burn yami b/OFC (yami b/OFC/malik love triangle) fic up there with the OC who got thrown into the world of ygo. Surprising amount of “I woke up in ygo” before isekai, fun fic trope, genuinely ppl having a good time. Fond memories of that and I still wish she’d returned Ryou’s brief crush on her man, rip my guy there homie 👊😔

AFF had that one fic where Ryou wrote fanfic of himself and Bakura and it was actually well liked by the in-universe fic readers but then Bakura found it and Ryou was mortified (then the M rating kicked in). Somehow, the fact that many ppl wrote fanfic of them—which implied they were somehow known and possibly known as a show(?)—did not come up coherently once

Actually I think there were two fics where Ryou pretended to be a girl and Bakura fell for him. One of them was on AFF. Not a bait and switch, but I think some real big fantasy power dynamics were in there

The Bandit Keith x Ryou fic where he thought Ryou was a girl and got pissed he wasn’t and then Yami B came out of the Ring and zapped him or something for being a dick and a creep

There is a surprising amount of fics where Bandit Keith meets up with Ryou somehow under the castle (at least three, maybe four)

Possessive and All That Glitters are my two all time fave ffnet only angstshipping fics actually because Ryou is like incredible in there, incredibly creepy and ic, I will take no substitutes, I will love no other, and this was in the ygo year of our lord 2012!!

The Incarnation of Zorc is gonna happen and oh boy Bakura is gonna make sure it happens (with mpreg and Ryou) like how is this genuinely the funniest 600 word drabble about Cthulhu horror mpreg I’ve ever read

AFF had a fic where Bakura knew Ryou was abusing him but stayed because he “knew he could handle him” and it made him love the fuck out of Ryou. Bakura did give him shit back with the silent treatment but it was pretty obvious he was getting the kermuppence kicked out of him and like, staying delusional about it?? Ryou was 100% terrible and physically violent, they weren't even dating(?), wtf lmao FHDJFHFJ

Then there was the AFF Ryou drugs fic where he put out cigarettes or joints or something on yami b’s hands while in the bathtub

Need I even go into the AFF/mediaminer fic where Bakura turned out to be Ryou’s great great great something great grandfather and they angsted about it being incest for like one chapter but that’s it? The author is genuinely interesting, I just found that a weird plot point to introduce and then smooth over like that without any lasting impact LMDJFJFJ

Modern day yami b gets a tan and that’s how he becomes tkb

Actually these all three are the same fic like the whole concept of a majority of the fic being spent on Ryou working up to “ok I’m almost ready to top you Bakura I know you’ve been begging don’t worry sweetie :)” in 2007-2009 of all times is WILD

Mad props to the dedication of Faust going through three iterations of the fic since the 2000s and finally getting completed a year or two ago like dang, that fact alone is unique as it is astounding, MAD respect, I gotta finish that one

Origins of Symmetry did it too

Ryuujitsu ily

The one double gender au where fem!Bakura was fem!Ryou’s sugar mama

There’s this other AFF one I’m distinctly remembering but the only part I remember is that Ryou gets his multiple boyfriends and he and two of them kiss each other at the same time, all three on the lips. I don’t think I’ve seen a kiss written like that since

There was one fic where Bakura basically played a long con of homophobic chicken for money and then Ryou found out and straight up killed him

The one fic where Bakura had to be the role model for Yami and say “hey, look at the good relationship I have with my light, look what you did to yours, look at him, you gave him depression” because tendies was the alpha couple and Yugi just wanted to die. Ryou’s urge to die got fixed by love like seven chapters in. Meanwhile Kaiba and Jou were stuck in super detention which was basically a whole week of detention straight, yet kept beating the shit out of each other (Jou fell in love with him in detention)

I’m not even gonna go into the throuple Amane one I read from the 2000s a few days ago (is it still incest if it’s not?) (no, it is not the new one that went up on ao3 dndndnbs)

The one where Ryou steals Bakura’s body after Bakura visits his hubby’s grave and befriends the spooky ghost Ryou there too much. It’s horror, it’s horrific, it’s well written, I’m never gonna read it again 😂😂😂

I might actually be having some nickels lining up for the number of fics that tackle “one day Ryou will top Bakura (but not today)”

I have no idea why at least two Pegasus x Ryou fics exist across multiple platforms that I know of, but if I had two nickels

as you can see, I would have a lot of nickels

Hey has anyone read Cadeau. It ripped me to pieces and it’s pretty heavy but also it just. It just. It. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I have never had a 2003 yugioh fic go as hard at me as this open ended “did Bakura fuck up” fanfic did, oh gee, oh gee, oh man

A surprising amount of instances of people trying to write fics titled “Ba-Ku-Ra!” (or some variation)

Ryou got banged by a knife at least twice on AFF (luckily the handle side)

An interesting character sketch of Ryou pondering the emotional failing of his and Honda’s college relationship (because he feels stifled by him)

Why are the Ishtars so often the providers of magic potions and spells and plot convenience things and stuff. Is it because they’re mysterious or something 

Actually there’s a surprising amount of like off to the side tendershipping with Ryou and his top/versatile tender shenanigans over the years, it really does just feel like it got drowned out by the Abusive Seme Bakura trope and Ryou Flanderization prior to like ~2015

There were two fics that pondered the question of “what if Ryou got the ability to keep Bakura out of his body during the canon storyline” that got published around the same time, but one ended in romance while the other ended in pretty obvious “this was a fucked up unhealthy relationship.” I remember being disappointed back then that they didn’t both end romantically but honestly looking back on them now it’s an interesting like, point of discussion for me, because the intent of the non romantic one was definitely “here is a supremely unhealthy dynamic,” yet somehow at the time I wanted them to end the same.

yes the first one is persistent shadow anyone who wants tendies content (with y’know the lemon/lime type stuff) should read it please go read it if you haven’t

The love potion one was quite funny actually. Ryou got exposed to one and the entire cast of ygo (and domino city) were all trying to get with him but like romantically. Turned out Bakura was the only one who wasn’t actually affected by it because he loved Ryou before the potion

Man I miss Philophobic. OCD Paralegal Bakura and Weirdo Quiet Malik was intriguing. I was ecstatic when Ryou showed up in like chapter 15/16. Little Bro Ryou. Baku Bros and Dead Amane. Bakura literally had the first name McJagger.

There’s the one old ao3 fic I’m remembering now that was tornship and Bakura and Ryou proposed together because they had the same body and it was during a day long ice skating date. I think it’s gone forever fellas ;;

The Kim Possible/Tendershipping + etcetera mega crossover, I’m so glad that author is living their best life

I took two steps in to an AFF fic where Bakura got kidnapped to be Ryou’s new present by Ryou’s dad and once I hit “won’t you give me some of your milk” I walked directly back out of there

Sometimes I still think about Opal, where Ryou betrays the human race to go off and live with his giant alien boyfriend who has claws and thus cannot perform fingering or anal prep, which Ryou also apparently can’t perform. It is a fond memory of a wacky sci-fi au (but it was definitely going for dramatic) (and tendies)

Bakura x Yami and one of them was the EMT but they were the only two ones from ygo canon in there and it was a thriller and every other character was Frickin’ American, I kid you not 😂😂

The hostship one where Ryou found a magic diary journal and ended up writing non-erotic friend fiction by accident (the first time) and got anxious when Anzu started acting out his crush writing iirc

Anyone remember those “the cast watches YGOTAS” fics. One of them had Ryou getting upset and hurt by the side character jokes ;^;

If you ever think everything hasn’t been shipped, I read an old fic where Yami Bakura didn’t want to tell Mai they were lovers in the past and so he just angsted pissedly about it instead while watching her from like across the park idk (but I think she was interested in the memory or him somehow still anyhow, IDK LMAO)

That one long Bakura and Jou fic. I thought it was over 700k words but I checked and it’s over 998k. My gosh, the absolute dedication

IT UPDATED LAST MONTH???!?!

I need to end with a banger, but all I can remember is yugioh had an extensive crossover with death note on ffnet where they introduced the concept of light magic, everyone summoned their own monsters irl, and Yami Bakura had his purple eyes, which I thought was so beautiful and aesthetically pleasing 

There was one early early early fic somewhere way in the beginnings of the ffnet archive with Bakura and Ryou. Bakura was insecure and angsting—in bed—about Ryou and their loving relationship—in the same bed as Ryou—and all I can remember thinking about it while reading it is “wow, it feels like this was written before the Tendies Abuse dynamic even solidified into fanon canon.”

One time back before the Yahoo Groups shut down I ran across a Yami and Bakura fic from like 2003-2004(?) that just had them chilling without any trouble going on, and I can’t believe that that of all things surprised me by just existing

Then there was the Yami/Bakura one where Bakura was suicidal yet there was no way to read it because the author erased almost all of the previous chapters when they decided to rewrite it. When you go onto the wayback machine with the link to that fic you can see everything the author took down. This is the case for a surprising amount of old, old ygo fic

I remember a tender fic that also had this as the case for it (I think the author said something about not wanting to bother the people who had finished reading the story ages ago)

Actually. The gigantic, gigantic ripped file archive of ffnet might be the most astounding thing to end this at. Some guy took a huge bot program or script program crawler thing to the entirety of ffnet and spent possibly 2-3 years downloading everything from it. All the fanfic. Everything public at the time. The ygo archive stops around 2015. This is theorized to be the entire reason that ffnet switched to making it impossible to copy paste fic from the desktop site. Mobile, perplexingly, is still entirely copy paste block free 

Also, mediaminer still exists. It just has none of the art

This in no way represents everything out there, but man does it make for a fun list. The eng yugioh fandom is enthralling to scour through. All this fandom archeology and the deep dives into yugioh history are my passion 🐸 

Hope I could entertain ✨✨✨

#honestly I could probably write fandom essays at this point #it has hit me that maybe not everybody has done the same extensive searching I have #it's fascinating though like yugioh is one of the fandoms you can really see the evolution from the 2000s to the 2020s fandom culture like #uninterrupted for the most part #very fascinating #incredibly fascinating #spicy #spicy text #head the warnings please #the latest fixation project LMAO #The Report #ramble #fandom archeology #my fandom archeology #i'm very fond of the gems in old ygo fandom #this got to be around 3.3k words #ghhhg #yugioh

[leahxx129]

Truth or Cut (Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester)

Hello there! This my * very VERY * late submission to @dontshootmespence​ ‘s   Alphabet Angst for 8k Challenge. I am incredibly sorry for this delay but I had to take a break away from Tumblr and social media in general in order to focus on my mental/physical health & other issues in my private life. Now I think I’m ready to return and create content again. As for the story, I hope you like it. This is my first attempt at a love triangle. Important: does not include Wincest so it’s safe to read for anyone who’s not into that. Also, I inserted a ‘Keep reading’ line, I hope it’s visible.

Summary: The British Men of Letters try a new approach to acquire the Winchesters’ cooperation, which leads to heartbreaking revelations. 

Warnings: cursing, bloodshed, mentions of sex, character death

Word count: 2.750-ish

* Moodboard is mine, pictures used are not.

You gain consciousness to two male voices calling your name frantically.

“She’s opening her eyes, Sam! She’s alright… Look!” the hoarse baritone belonging to the elder Winchester reassures his brother a second after your eyelashes have started fluttering.

“Well, that’s the overstatement of the year, Dean… Let’s just say I’ll live.” you grumble once you fully come around. “What the hell?!”

Usually you’re more eloquent than that but at the moment it’s the best you can muster, considering that you’ve awakened in what appears to be an abandoned warehouse and all three of you are handcuffed to uncomfortable metal chairs organized in a neat triangle, facing each other. The only source of light are a few flickering candles placed on a table nearby.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out, babe.” your long-term boyfriend Sam replies in a soothing tone.

His handsome face seems intact – minus a couple of scars he obtained in previous fights – so being ambushed is crossed off the list of possible explanations on what happened and how you got here. Maybe you were drugged? If yes… by whom? The things that go bump in the night prey upon their enemies and slash their throats open, not abduct them.

A heavy silence falls on the place, only the crackle of the candle flames can be heard.

You have no idea how much time has passed – it could’ve been an eternity as well as ten minutes – when suddenly a consecutive knocking sound fills your auditory canals.

“Are those… are those high heels?” you ask aloud incredulously.

“Louboutin’s to be exact, my dear.”

Every head snaps to the accent’s direction just in time to see an elegantly dressed slender woman step into the candle-lit area.

“But excuse my manners… talking about fashion before introducing myself? How rude of me. I’m Lady Toni Bevell on behalf of the British Men of Letters.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Dean growls “You know, here in America no means no, Lady! We’ve already told your stupid little boyband to fuck off. We’re not here to do their bidding, we’re here to save lives.”

“So I’ve heard.” She nods in understanding. “But yet, we’d still like to gather some information, one way or another.”

She walks over to the table and unfolds a neatly wrapped package, revealing a knife. Suddenly, Sam’s sarcastic chuckle fills the place.

“And you think you can get us to spill by torturing? Seriously?”

A predatory smile spreads across Toni’s face as she casually picks up the weapon of her choice.

“I was thinking about playing a game that may involve torture. It’s up to you whether it does or does not.”

“What game?” you ask suspiciously.

“I’d like to call it Truth or Cut. Maybe Truth or Stab, depending on the importance of the information you intend to withhold. The rules are the following… I ask something and if you reply, that equals truth, and nothing will happen. If you do not wish to answer, just say cut and I’ll sink my knife into your flesh.”

“You’re crazy!” Sam exhales in disbelief.

“Thank you, Sam! I’m going to take that as a compliment. And since we are already engaged in a conversation, let’s start with you.” She walks to the center of the triangle to face the younger Winchester. “I’d like you to give me the names of American hunters you consider the best.”

Sam leans a bit forward, his face is unreadable.

“Bite me!” he hisses through gritted teeth. “I’m not gonna participate in your psychotic game. You can’t make me.”

Toni flashes a dangerous smile once more.

“Are you sure about that?”

She slowly walks behind your chair and places the blade under your right collar bone.

“If you refuse to pick either truth or cut, your loved ones will pay the price for it, big guy.”

Sam’s eyes search yours for confirmation of the next step and you nod.

“You’re bluffing.” He counters Toni.

The next second you feel the metal pressed against you slash into soft skin and you can’t suppress a loud grunt of pain. Blood starts oozing from the wound and your white tank top soon begins to acquire a shade of crimson.

The brothers yell ‘No!’ in unison, then Dean delivers an impressive selection of curse words – sneaking in some that were new even to you.

Toni strolls over to Sam.

“Now I ask again. Name the best American hunters you know.”

“Cut.” Sam responds in a tone just above whisper. He soundlessly flinches when the woman draws blood by sliding the blade across his left forearm.

“Alright… Who wants to be next? Perhaps Dean? List all the places where we can find extensive knowledge on the supernatural, not counting the Man of Letters safe houses of course.”

Dean’s gaze meets Toni’s and for a second you think you can see her confidence falter because of the deadly rage and utter disdain that radiates from the hunter, but she soon regains composure.

“So? Is it truth or cut, Dean? You know what will happen if you refuse to choose.”  

“Cut!” he emphasizes the t at the end.

You’re next and you pick cut as well. Then the cycle starts all over again...

You’ve made three rounds without anyone breaking and giving Toni what she wants, which visibly annoys her.

“Let’s shake things up a bit by changing the topics, shall we?” she announces out of the blue, making all of you knit your brows.

Spinning around on her heels, she turns to Sam.

“Sam! Did you manage to decide where you want to propose to Y/N? In my personal opinion the place where you said your first I love you-s is more romantic than the place where you first met, but that’s just plain old me.”

Sam’s eyes widen in shock, reflecting your own facial expression.

“Sam? What is she talking about?” you question in a thin voice, perplexed.

A shy, boyish smile appears on his face as he looks deep into your eyes, reminding you of the very first time you’ve seen him.

“Uh, yeah. She’s right. Although I have no idea how she knows this, but I did indeed plan on proposing to you at one of those places, probably where we met… up until now. Now I have to come up with something else I guess.”

A mixture of emotions floods your heart, making you undecisive what to say first. You finally open your mouth to speak but before a sound can escape, Toni directs the next question to Dean.

“Alright, that was a truth, so no cuts. Now, Dean! I am certain she will not get offended so you can tell me honestly… Is Y/N a good kisser?”

“How would I know?” he asks back, lacking any hesitation. “I think you’re mistaking me with Sam, her boyfriend. You know, the tall guy whose proposal you’ve just ruined? Next time you play this game with someone, have your facts checked first, Suit pants.”

The confusion on Sam’s face slowly starts to fade away, but Toni presses on relentlessly.

“Oh, Dean... That was a very convincing performance! But, unfortunately for you, I did have my facts checked. And according to these facts, you and Y/N locked lips passionately just two years ago, in 2015. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

Everybody’s eyes are on you waiting for your reaction, and you can’t help but reminisce about the event in question.

You were having a hard time finding the key for the motel room you were renting - courtesy of the bottle of bourbon you’d consumed earlier. All those keys on the chain looked the same and neither of them seemed to fit into the lock, let alone open the damn door… In addition to that, the world slowly started spinning and you had to prop yourself against the doorframe to prevent an ugly fall.

“Need a hand there, Sweetheart?”

Your heart skipped a beat from the scare but soon calmness washed over you as you identified the person. You could recognize that husky voice anywhere, intoxicated or not.

“Dean Winchester!” you exclaimed, turning around to find him leaning against your car you’d parked near the doorway. “The world’s deadliest hunter and mightiest panty dropper turned hell’s cruelest demon! To what do I owe this pleasure? Considering that you’ve gone out of your way to ignore both me and Sam in the past couple of months.”

He leisurely pushed himself from the car and started walking towards you.

“I needed a breath of fresh air, that’s all. But speaking of whom… where’s Sam?”

He almost left no distance between your bodies when he finally stopped. What was he doing? If he wanted to kill you, he probably would’ve done it already…

“I don’t know. Why don’t you give him a call, huh? Ask him how he’s doing? You could make him the happiest man alive…” you replied with a bitter undertone.

A shit-eating grin formed on Dean’s handsome face.

“Uh-oh. Is there trouble in paradise?”

“Shut it, Dean! It’s really none of your business.” You said, crossing your arms and averting your gaze.

His comment hit a nerve – you both knew that – but the last thing on Earth you wanted to do was discussing your relationship crisis with him. If you still had a relationship, that is.

To much of your surprise, the next second he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him and pressed his lips against yours. It felt terribly wrong but incredibly right at the same time… It took you half a minute to gather all your willpower and push him away.

“Y/N? Is it true?” Sam’s voice brings you back to reality.

Tears start dwelling up in your eyes, providing a wordless answer. He swallows hard.

“Why?”

“It’s all my fault, okay?” Dean speaks up as you’re clearly unable to form a coherent sentence. “I kissed her, man. It happened when I was a demon… I figured if I kissed her, I’d piss you off enough to leave me alone. Besides, she was totally hammered and still pushed me away.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better, Dean?!”

“I don’t know… a little, maybe?”

Sam scoffs then all of a sudden realization hits him.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“What?”

“Is my girlfriend a good kisser?”

Both you and Dean stare at him in shock.

“C’mon man, you can’t seriously want me to answer that…” Dean attempts to change the subject but doesn’t succeed. Sam’s stare makes it obvious he won’t let this one slide. He won’t let go until he hears the truth no matter how unpleasant it may be.

“Yes.” Dean blurts out. “She’s a good kisser. In fact, she’s one of the best kissers I’ve ever encountered in my entire life. Happy now?”

The only response is a nod.

“Oh wow…” Toni lets out an excited sigh. “Changing the topic was the best idea ever, don’t you agree? Now, let’s move on to Y/N. She’ll get the most interesting question in my repertoire.”

She slowly walks over to you, her Louboutin’s menacingly tap against the concrete every step of the way. She crouches down, tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and asks the most ruthless question in the sweetest voice.

“Which one of the Winchester brothers is better in bed?”

The tears you’ve been holding back for quite some time now break free and roll down your cheeks swiftly.

“I mean, it’s not entirely true what Dean said, now is it? You did push him away but then you pulled him back...”

Complete silence ensues and you swear you can hear three hearts break if you listen closely.

You were standing there more confused than ever. What the hell was Dean doing?! Was this a long time coming or was he playing some sort of a game? Either way… If you were sober, you most certainly would’ve punched him in the mouth. But due to your condition – or at least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself ever since – you pulled him back and kissed him there instead. The part of how you got inside the room was a blur, but soon enough you found yourself tangled up with him in the sheets. Torn clothes peppered the floor, a smell of bourbon lingered in the air and Dean treated you as if you were the single, most important person in the entire universe. You truly thought you’d never been happier – then came the morning and shattered everything to a thousand pieces.

“You know, to encourage picking truth regarding this question, I am going to tell you something you yourself may not even be aware of, Y/N.” Toni breaks the silence. “There is something else that’s not true in what Dean said. He did not spend that night with you just to piss Sam off… He’s been attracted to you ever since you’ve met and being a demon allowed him to shamelessly do something about it.”

You whisper ‘Cut’ as a reply and Toni’s face hardens.

“Oh, honey… withholding this information is worth a stab.”

Before you can comprehend her words, she swings the knife and it ends up in your right thigh. You don’t think you’ve ever seen this much blood come from a stab wound… Both Winchester men yell in protest, but their voices become distant as you slowly slip into unconsciousness.

Mary and Castiel tracked down your location and arrived just in time. You almost bled to death, but the angel managed to heal the wound. For a while you wished he didn’t.

Three weeks later you’re sitting in your car at an abandoned gas station. About fifteen minutes after your arrival, a black SUV parks near you. You limp to the vehicle and tear its door open, barely containing your fury.

“What the fuck was that, Toni?!” you question while getting in and pointing a gun at her.

She glances at the weapon then looks you in the eye.

“Is that necessary?”

You cock the gun in response.

“Alright. So, as you know, the management decided that you delivering information to us about the Winchesters is not enough anymore.”

“Yes, that’s why you’ve contacted them directly, I know.”

“Correct. But since they refused to cooperate, the management came up with a plan of disrupting their unity. This way it’s just a matter of time and one of them will be knocking on our door. I suspect it will be Sam.”

A bitter laugh escapes you lips.

“So that’s what this was? A disruption of unity? Really?! And why didn’t I know of this, huh?”

“We needed your reactions to be genuine.”

“God, you’re a bunch of psychopaths… You know what, I’m not gonna do this anymore. I quit.”

She lets out a loud scoff.

“Please… what are you going to tell them? Furthermore, how do you think they will react when they learn that the love of their lives is a snitch?”

You let your gun down.

“I’ll make sure they know why I became a snitch... I’ll make sure they know how I made a crossroad’s deal years ago to save them both. I’ll make sure they know how you offered to delay the hellhounds in exchange for some information every now and then. I have no idea how they’ll react, but maybe someday they’ll understand and find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

Toni stares daggers at you.

“I suggest you think this through carefully, Y/N, as we still hold your deal. One bad move and the hellhounds will come and get you. No more delaying.”

You flash her the biggest smile you can summon.

“Well, it’s been a while since the last time I played with puppies from the pit… I think I’m ready.”

Not waiting for her reaction, you get out of the car and start limping back to yours. By the time you get in, Toni is gone.

You’re all alone.

Well, not entirely alone to be fair.

The grumbling hellhounds in your backseat keep you company.

You take your phone out of your pocket avoiding any sudden movements and type a quick message to the Winchesters:

‘My nightstand, second drawer.’

Toni thought she could prevent you from exposing the truth by taking action quickly, but she wasn’t paying attention. You never said you were gonna tell them everything. You said you would make sure they know. And the detailed farewell letters you left for them in your drawer will serve the purpose well.

#nicolesalphabetangstfor8k #dontshootmespence #dean winchster x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester x reader #Sam Winchester #supernatural fic #supernatural #SPN #spn fanfiction #sam x reader #dean x reader #sam x reader x dean

[fivehole]

Would you ever consider doing a coloring tutorial for photoshop? I just got it and I’m really struggling with that. I’m really only editing leafs photos and pics of my dogs rn so I’m just looking for how to make blue pop. I don’t know if I’m wording it wrong when I search but google is not helpful at all. If you can’t I totally get it!

hello, angel, i’m going to be putting a read more but i hope my tips help you and yeah, let me know if you have any questions

first, it’s important that the photo that you want to edit is high quality, the better the quality of your photo, the better your edit will look when you’re done with it;

you’ve said that you mostly edit leafs photos and that’s great cause they use professional photographers so the photos they post on twitter and instagram are usually high quality (I use a chrome extension to download photos in their og size cause especially twitter now has decided to show smaller versions when you go to open a photo in a new window and i’m not having it but anyway, i use gallerify)

also everybody has a different colouring style, this is just what i like to do when i’m editing a photo in ps, i’m in no way, shape or form saying that this is the only way to do it or the correct way to do it, this is just my personal style and preference 

example #1

og size: 2400x1648

first, i’m going to crop it; when i’m posting photos i usually go for 540px600p or 540px700p maybe even 540px750p sometimes but i just decide for every photo what looks best imo

here  you can find all tumblr dimensions, but if you keep the width at 540p it should look good regardless of the height

for this photo 540px600p looked best and i kept his glove as the center of the photo as it the most in focus; that’s another thing about photo editing, you photo should look balanced ig, in every photo there is usually a subject, here that’s naz, and i personally like to make sure that the subject is in the center of the photo; cool trick, where your eyes go immediately when you look at a photo is where the focus is and that’s what i like to keep centered; here my eyes immediately go to the glove and that’s why i’ve cropped it the way i have, keeping the glove in the center of the photo instead of cropping it in a way that makes naz’s whole body the center, i hope this makes sense; but also generally speaking when the subject is a person or an animal that’s facing the camera, the focus is on the eyes (face)

anyway, now that it’s cropped, i like to sharpen it before i start with the colouring: filter > sharpen > smart sharpen and these are my settings

that’s the result after sharpening, now here is where i usually look at the colour story; when i’m editing leafs photo it’s just blue, black and white and nuances and i love it so much but i also cannot tell you how much the yellow line on the rink kills my vibe i hate it but anyway, here at first glance, i think i’ll make the blue bluer, i’ll deepen the black, i’ll usually also play with the white but here i won’t cause it’s already quite bright so i don’t think i’ll even touch it

idk where you have your adjustments and masks but this thingy which is the correct scientific term but that’s my best friend

first i’ll go into brightness/contrast where i’ll usually just adjust the brightness, here the photo is already quite bright so i’ll just go at around +10, it’s going to be a little bit brighter but it’s not going to blind you

then i’ll go into selective colour which i don’t want to exaggerate but it is the love of my life? anyway i’ll usually play with the reds because there are lots of reds and red undertones in the skin and you want to make sure they look alive y’know; i’ll play with the blacks just to deepen the black a little bit, the whites: not for this photo but usually i want the white to be a true white which it already is more or less in our photo; and because it’s the leafs the blues

in selective colour, i can’t really give you many directions because it really is different for every photo, i just play with the adjustments till i feel it looks good and that’s basically it and all there is to it; but these are the adjustments i used for this photo

and here is the end result

when it comes to colouring i find that knowing a little bit of colour theory is useful, especially if you need to colour correct which we don’t here thank god

example #2

og size: 2400x1571

here i’m going to rotate it first (image > image rotation) and then crop it using the faceoff circle as a guide and then sharpen it as i usually do

again, i’ll be going into brightness/contrast first, i went with +10 again because i don’t want it to be too bright and because i know that i’ll adjust the white later

then selective colour, i’m proceeding the exact same way with the addition that i’ll be adjusting whites and yellows as well; when i’m adjusting whites and blacks i usually go somewhere between +5 and +10 becuase otherwise it just looks off imo

and here is the finished photo

you probably know this but i feel like i should say it; for saving i go file > save for web & devices

and here are the settings i used for the two photos, i sometimes save them as pngs also but it honestly depends on my mood idk

anyway i hope this helped even a little bit, i hope it’s not all over the place although i doubt that, and like i said if you have any questions hit me up; ALSO youtube tutorials, there are lots of ps youtube tutorials with voiceovers and stuff, cause google is honestly a bitch sometimes and it’s easier to actually see someone doing it y’know

#gif tut #ik it's not a gif tut but i want them all to be in the same tag #also like a big disclaimer: idk what i'm doing i taught myself how to use photoshop #and i'm honestly just winging it #Anonymous

[bigmoodword]

11/11/11 Tag

tagged by @silver-wields-a-pen -- thanks a bunch! this was so thought-provoking.

1. Who is your favourite oc? 

probably a toss-up between the two oldest:

a werewolf who hides his cold-burning hate behind a sweet smile and endless offers to make bitchin’ cups of tea/coffee/poison/cocoa

an immortal with unhealthy escapist tendencies, livin’ that long life as if EXTRA is their personal motto

at this point, they’ve run through several names each. here’s hoping i finally set 'em in stone sooner rather than later.

2. What themes do you struggle writing? 

healthy, established romance. i can do flirtation and doomed relationships, but actually solid relationships are a whole different beast. it’s kind of funny, because although there are plenty of problems to work through even in the best relationship, i have a tendency to tidy them with too nice a bow. lucky me, that’s my life experience, but it doesn’t make for the most engaging story.

3. What’s been the best thing about writing your wip?

striking creative oil. it’s wonderful to be so enamored with an idea that all my doubts dissipate and the words just... flow. it’s a feeling i remember from childhood, and it’s a relief to know it can still strike.

4. What themes has your favourite story included? 

survivor’s guilt. betrayal. missed opportunities. miscommunication. learning to let go. learning how to love oneself. abuse. wearing a mask. class struggles. systemic oppression. the importance of hope--whatever that ultimately means for you.

honestly, these tend to pop up in all my stories to varying degrees.

5. What time of day do you prefer writing?

i tend to switch between the night owl and early bird approaches. the former pops up when i’m on a serious roll, the latter when i’ve hit a rhythm of jotting down a few hundred words over coffee.

6. What’s your favourite relationship trope to write? 

a very specific kind of unrequited love. like the two are this 👌 close to actually coming together--they’d honestly be pretty great!--except they fail to communicate mutual interest so each assumes the other isn’t. or maybe they’re too preoccupied with their own issues to have a good relationship, so temptations aside, one or both decide it’s better to pass. it’s the idea of “maybe in another life” or “if only we’d met x years ago or y years from now.” can’t get enough of it!

7. What detail about your ocs has surprised you? 

they’re all so messed up. i mean. granted, most of them are born by taking a personality flaw (whether my own or one i struggle to understand) to a certain extreme, but even those that start on an even keel inevitably hit a significant low point. i think it’s an extension of the idea “everybody’s got something” but i hope someday i can manage to have a character that’s both interesting and well-adjusted throughout.

8. Thoughts on including romance in other genres? 

i’m ace, so romance often misses the mark for me. the fact my favorite romantic trope is two people not ending up together probably says a lot on its own. more specifically, unless the romance really adds to the wider story, i prefer it in the background. i think of certain characters flirting and growing closer as sprinkles atop the main plot’s cupcake.

9. Favourite writing snack? 

coffee! i don’t tend to snack much in general, especially not when writing, but i’m always game to break out the bean juice.

10. Favourite villain trope? 

the anti-villain. as a huge “fan” of gray morality, i guess that’s pretty darn predictable. while obviously i’m not here to root for villains, i like to understand them. i think it’s important to recognize how an otherwise good person becomes villainous, and i also have a certain affection for reformed villains. j/s

11. Best scene you’ve written? 

oooo. that’s a good one. i’m not comfortable calling anything my “best” scene, but i tend to favor those where major plot points finally intersect. here’s one i still quite like--

background: urban fantasy, slayer organization, investigation into a recently caught perp

trigger warning: implied sexual abuse

Sven didn’t bother returning Nina’s call until he was in the werewolf’s ritzy apartment, and when she picked up, she immediately reported how the guy had copped to lying throughout his first interview.

As he examined the titles in the bookcases, Sven figured that meant his perp was smart enough to recognize a boon. The asshole who’d put him in a wheelchair had also thrown him a softball cover story, and if he played along, his pack wouldn’t get hurt. Lucky puppy.

Yet Nina remained skeptical. She specified how Nate—that beacon of truth—had caught the werewolf talking on the sly about a little friend. He wouldn’t just make that up, so of course she expected him to search high and low for any proof. Just in case.

He promised he’d do his best then sat cross-legged before the shelves. He put the phone on speaker, set it on a dizzyingly ornate rug, and began pulling books out. One by one, he’d flip robotically through the pages, looking for anything of note.

Meanwhile, Nina’s voice lost its authoritarian edge, “What was up before?”

“Nothing important. Just a guy. Lonely. Works at the hotel.” Having said the words, he tried not to picture her growing smirk. “One thing led to another and…”

“Good for you.” A pause. “Hey. Hey, Sven. Was he cute?”

“Quite.”

“'Quite.’” He could hear her rolling her eyes. “And? Did you, well, have a good time?”

“Debatably.”

“Huh.” Nina thought aloud, “See, you were awfully mad at me when I called you before. That would imply that you were, in fact, having a good time. Otherwise, you would’ve appreciated the excuse, right? Right. But you didn’t. Since we’re talking about you, that means something.”

He snorted.

“Really! It does, and I hope you didn’t just run this poor guy off, you know? You should try meeting up again. Do a little wine and dine. Something nice. Classy. You have that red sweater that looks nice; you should wear that.”

Sven looked down at said sweater. “… Right. Well, I gave him my number, so we’ll—”

“Damn, Sven! He must’ve been really cute!”

He remembered Drake’s anxious wiggling and cracked a smile. “Yeah, he was pretty damn cute.”

Bit by bit, he shared details, and Nina nearly blew out his phone’s speaker with a squeal. She insisted others would give up their firstborn for the kind of porno romance he apparently lived, and her office chair creaked as she huffed a triumphant sigh. She was so animated about the whole thing, as if it’d happened to her instead of him, and however briefly, he thought maybe he felt a fluttering of that same enthusiasm. He wanted to, anyway. 

Even after hanging up, something twisted in his gut every time he thought about Drake calling or, hell, simply sending a three-letter text. But realistically, that was as likely to be dread as giddiness.

With pen and pad, Sven made notes about bookmarked passages as well as the odd comment in the margins, then restored each book to its original slot. Likewise, he compiled the contents of drawers, filing cabinets, and closets. He’d come prepared to scrub the evidence, but apparently, the evidence already suggested the werewolf lived alone. 

There were no articles of clothing that deviated from the rest of his wardrobe. The master bath featured a single toothbrush, and the kitchen just enough rotting food to feed a particularly voracious adult male. He couldn’t even find a hair that wasn’t deep brown and short.

He bagged a phone and tablet for further examination, then muttered to himself about how he really should’ve done at least that much beforehand. That is, the first time he visited the apartment, but no. He’d made his catch, handed the perp off, and disappeared for a long run in the Boston fog like a coward.

To be fair, the place still gave him the creeps. It bothered him that the overturned furniture, smashed vase, and cracked mirror were all exactly where he’d left them. There were blood stains too. Deep brown and foul.

In a small safe, he found jewelry, yellowed woodcuts, and a first edition copy of Leaves of Grass. Extraordinary, sure. Cataloged, absolutely. Yet, save for the werewolf’s budding psych profile, such finds were also woefully meaningless.

He moved on to the lockbox dug out from under the king-sized bed. As with the safe, he was able to pop it open without too much difficulty, but unlike the safe, its contents raised eyebrows. 

Polaroids. Hundreds of them aggressively rubber-banded into tidy stacks, all meticulously sorted. He held his breath as he unwrapped the first only to exhale a bitter “of course” at the revealed photos.

The shots lacked faces. Just bodies. All slender. All male. All dubiously legal. Twisted. Bound. Violated. Every single one manipulated with an escalating ingenuity. Clearly, the werewolf considered it an art-form. 

After that first stack, Sven quickly flipped through the others. He was convinced the whole stash was worthless. None of the subjects had tattoos, piercings, or any significant scarring. No one depicted could be reasonably identified. He was wasting his time.

But he had to make sure, and the deeper he waded, the more his shoulders tensed, the more he felt walls close in. He caught himself listening for heavy footsteps outside the door.

Childish. At its heart, it was all so childish. 

And pointless.

Then he found a stack with a face. He found Drake.

My questions

1. Who was your first OC? 2. What was the first story you ever wrote? 3. What book (or other piece of media) has most inspired you? 4. How do you fight writer’s block? 5. What is your favorite genre to write in and why? 6. How would you describe your writing style? 7. In general, do you think you’d get along with your protagonists? 8. What do you love most about your WIPs? 9. What is your favorite character trope? 10. What is your least favorite character trope? 11. What’s an upcoming scene you’re excited to write? Tagging: @mvcreates ; @whataremetaphor ; @phloxxiing ; @gaytivity ; @jessica-shouldbewriting ; @oyef ; @blurrywhitelies ; @savannahscripts ; @imaghostwriter ; @quilloftheclouds ; @maabon

#writeblr #tag game #11/11/11 #mywriting

[seenashblog]

Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

a.k.a. -  Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

Note: This adventure has been moved to here from my main blog @seenashwrite, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for a while yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Winter's Dream (Kristy Hot Damn Swanson, Dean Mothafukkin' Cain - Hallmark)

With it packing this level of stardom, how can it go wrong? Understand that I can take or leave Dean Cain, but Kristy Swanson is the shit. 

The official summary/another summary from somewhere:

When a former ski champion re-enters the competitive world after a 16-year-old downhill racer asks for help, she finds a new love and reawakens an old passion.

Former pro skier, Kat, is asked to coach a younger skier, named Anna, and finds love with the girl's widowed father, Ty.

These are both kinda garbage summaries - I mean, they're accurate, but it doesn't paint the whole picture. There's nothing really to spoil, and though it hits a couple things on a winter bingo (still forthcoming), they're more the Hallmark staples, such as the kid (in this case, a really great teen gal who's a good actress) who brings people together, and that the lodge/the resort is in danger of being lost, and somebody teaches somebody else how to skate, and that shit, but the bottom line is it's a fine watch. It's not spectacular, but it's not dipped in cheese, and there's some really pretty shots of the skiing (especially something they do at the end), plus kudos for the body doubles (the ones doing the actual skiing) were spot-on, and the teen actress did an impressive end-of-run stop at one point, you know it's her because she immediately whips off her mask.

Bottom line, this movie woulda been ass if not for Swanson and Cain, who didn't have greeeeat chemistry, though they made it work. In any event, the script was solid - like I say, not a great deal of cheese and any lines that were aren't sticking out to me because they were delivered so well - so I'm actually gonna rate this one decently high.

4/5 stars

.

Love on the Sidelines (this dude who's been in three movies I've seen so far, John Reardon, and some basic blonde chick who is vaguely familiar - Hallmark)

This isn’t technically a winter one, I don’t think, but it’s on, so it counts.

So they try to throw you from the get-go with "Is injured dude gonna be the love interest which is totally inappropriate since he's her boss and clearly got about 12 years on her and has made multiple patronizing comments to her, about how physically strong she is and about her classic car and about her abilities in general, or is it the other dude on the team who took an immediate interest in her and has thus far been polite and respectful and friendly and flirty?"

(By the way, main dude has cock-blocked his friend, but he has a model girlfriend [who is styled to be a stereotype from extensions to heels] and it's also shown he has no idea about stuff she likes/is into, such as her favorite flowers - but chick knew because she had 'em out for their romantic dinner. That's right, it's part of her assistant duties - and she's supposed to be helping him with activities of daily living stuff - is to prep his bone zones.)

If they make dude #2 turn out to be a douche and that main dude is somehow awesome underneath all his shit----- what am I saying, of course they are. The latter, that is. You know I'm right. Hundred percent.

People are like losing their chickens over this jersey she's tailored to be a "girl fit" - you know what I mean, it's not a box with sleeves, there's tailoring to it, so the sleeves aren't so ginormous and it's tapered on the sides. This jersey's been the topic of about three interactions thus far and we're only 40 minutes (so 30 mins airtime) in. They're all "Wow!" and "This is so creative!" and "My wife would love that, where'd you get it!"  Y'all, google for this, that type of jersey, I mean. [pause] Nevermind, here:

I put in the mystical combo of "women's NFL football jersey".

THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY

Hey, and heh-heh.... quick bonus....

WHYENNE!!!! THAT BITCH IS EVERYWHERE

But hey, how else would we know that fashion design is her passion? Scriptin' be hard, yo. Speaking of her clothes skillz - "I think there's more to him," she says to BFF, whose wedding dress she's fitting. First, *eyeroll*. Second, if your friend is trying to watch a football game and learn the basics, don't let them fit you for your farging wedding at the same time. Which is what is happening.

There's twinkly magical music when his hand runs over hers when they're both searching under the couch, feeling around for his dropped cell phone.

*more eyeroll*

I do like the car, it's a red Mustang.... early 70s, maybe?.... but I can say I don't care for the shade of red, it's a little too cherry popsicle or hooker scarlet lipstick.

(My dream car is probs a Mustang muscle in black, but as far as zoom-zooms go, I tell ya, a friend of mine had a Porsche Boxster, and What. A. Ride., and he'd offered to teach me how to drive stick on it - not a euphemism, I swear, I was 16, my dad was his mentor, he's like the child my father never had - I'M A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT OKAY - so like my big brother, and anyhow, it was so beautiful I gasped at the very thought. But sweet babby jeebus, those suckers are smooth rides. None of this matters.)

Anyway, she keeps having trouble starting it, and I can tell by the sound it isn't the alternator, nor is it the battery, nor is it a belt, nor is she flooding the engine. I know fuck-all about cars as a general rule, but I know those sounds because I've experienced all of them. It has now gone to commercial, as he's just looked under the hood and announced after 3.8 seconds "Yup, I think I see your problem."  He must have x-ray vision. I am on pins-and-needles, shivering with anticipation.

Back from commercial, he's shutting the hood and she's saying "Wow you did it!" and wiping grease from his face. He's got an absolutely wrecked calf/ankle/foot (and straight up, they've done a good job making it all seem legit, props to... well, props... and make-up), but you're telling me he was standing and bent over long enough to get all greasy, and he's supposed to be - most of the time - either sitting or standing with that bitch elevated. This was stupid. This was a stupid, wholly unnecessary scene. Oh except we find out - because it's visible in the back seat - that she's read his children's book.

That's right. He's written a children's book.

Dude's mom: "I think he's dating the wrong type of women". Subtle, screenwriters, subtle. Now he's sneaking and working out. I really hope they show his ankle buckling out at a wicked angle. I'm gross like that. Twinkly music plays as she waits for him in the locker room while he's in with the sports trainer because he shouldn't have been working out.

Forgot to mention there's an awesome dog, this really beautiful Dane, and of course it loves her and hates Stereotype, because reasons for him to go ga-ga. She's honestly not bad, I have zero issue with the actress, nor with this actor, they're actually both good, but between the music and this script, I'm fighting over what rating to give it. (Checks clock) Welp, the next 45 minutes should tell me. It's dragging ass, I'll tell you that, though.

Like, nothing's happened. Nothing. He has an injury, she's his new personal assistant. I can list traits they each have. I've seen groups of moments. I don't know what the story is. Is it just "they get closer and fall in lurve"? That's... not a story. That's a series of facts. People meet their partners/spouses via the workplace all the time. What's the plot? What's the conflict? The obstacles? The tension? The OOMPH, I'd call it, is missing. This is what kills me about most fanfic - they just tell me stuff, they aren't showing me a new perspective or a twist or a unique take or differing interpretation that's still supported by canon, or an inventive plot that or what-the-hell-ever. Dean and Whyenne were in the bunker and they researched and they cooked and they talked about Cas and Sam, and they argued about her going on a hunt, then they kissed, the end! That's not a story, that's a daydream. I've digressed.

Now he's texted her "the emergency code" while she's at her best friend's wedding, and turns out it's because he's cranky because his sister said he's got to learn how to not be the center of attention. And she - I am proud to say - lets. Him. Have. It.  Part of what she says is - Can you do *anything* for yourself?!  And he goes - This!  And he kisses her, and it takes her off guard, but then they go for it, and I am actually happy for them.

Shit. I still hate that this isn't a story, but holy hell the difference when some conflict is introduced. Ahhhhhmazeballs. Conflict, however minor, is what shows us who these people we're watching/reading really are - and no, conflict does not mean angst, nor does it mean some sort of heart-breaking, can't-take-it-back fight, nor does it mean life-and-death, just divergent paths or opinions is all it takes. I've digressed again.

My interest is piqued because we have a half-hour to go, and typically this is how Hallmark blows their wad in the last fifteen.

[time passes]

Okay, a couple things turned out decent. Y'all will *love* what the best friend pulls at the end, and she and her hubby have been great throughout, but this one particular thing was clutch. And everybody had chemistry, family and friends and romance alike. It just can't help the lack of story, and I really detest the manner in which they made lead dude a jerk - there's other ways to do that besides going the lazy route, a.k.a. being sexist. It's not as bad as a two (a.k.a. - this is a matter of taste), because there's some objectively good stuff.... on the other hand, my lord is dragged. So I'm going with a three, because it's a toss-up as to whether you're gonna really like it, or think "Meh".

3/5 Stars

.

One Winter Weekend / One Winter Proposal (Taylor Cole, some other people - Hallmark)

So the former was in last year's winter line-up, the latter in this one. Taylor Cole played Sarah Blake on SPN. I see she's also on deck for some detective thing on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries.

And.... that's all I got to say about that.

I genuinely tried to watch these. They played them back-to-back, and speaking of backs, mine was acting up so I was laid out, and I thought - all right, this'll kill some time. And I fell asleep at 6 p.m., y'all. I took ibuprofen, I was not getting liquored up, I slept plenty the night before, and I fell the fuck to sleep. These movies are boring as fuck. 

I saw no sparks, and there were two couples from which to divine said spark. The co-lead chick was incredibly annoying, she plays everything too perky, and it's really evident in scenes with her romantic interest, who is a good actor and came off completely naturally. Actually, he should've been the main-main male lead, I bet he'd have had great chemistry with Cole, who's a better actor than the dude they had her paired with, but I say all that to say, the script was... meh. The pacing of both movies was weird, and the conflicts that were in them (see above for discussion on what conflict in stories actually is) were nothingburgers. It was stupid. Don't waste your time, seriously.

1/5 stars

.

We interject for a non-review that needs to be mentioned. Oh, Lifetime. Holy shitsnacks.

Double Mommy (I... I don't know... people... - Lifetime)

This is the synopsis:

Ryan discovers his friend Bryce is the father of one of his girlfriend's twin babies and that he date raped her at a party over the summer. With college looming over Bryce's head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name.

Because the guys' feelz are what's important, here.

.

The Birthday Wish (Jessy Schram, who only acts one way and that is coked-up squirrel with blonde barrel curls - Hallmark)

This is the official summary, and it should let you know how pleased I was to watch this:

On her birthday, a woman who desperately wants her boyfriend to propose to her wishes for the opportunity to see into the future, with surprising results.

'Cause I love seeing "desperate" and "woman" in the same sentence about my main character! This was precisely what you think based on the summary - though I will say Schram doesn't play it "desperate" so that was kind've a weird word for them to use - she somehow has these premonitions (it's never explained) and the boyfriend's a dick and she ends up with her co-worker who's a great guy. The end.

1/5 stars

.

Once Upon A Prince (Megan Park, who is familiar though I don't know how, and a quite charming British fellow who isn't really, he's actually from Canada by way of New York but sounds really damn convincing - Hallmark)

Also unsure this is “winter”, but it’s worth talking about. Seriously. Still, let's get the shite - and it's minor! - out of the way.

First complaint: they blew their wad in the title. Not that we don't get the scoop fairly quickly, but... welp, no we don't, the beans aren't spilled for a while - they *easily* could've skirted it, and they HAVE, it's very nicely and smoothly done, I mean, you can divine it but it's not plot anvil'd, his situation unfolds gradually across the first act, which is so refreshing. Whoever titled it was the screw-up. I'm looking at you, Hallmark execs. All their titles spoil.

Second complaint... despite the adept nature they handled main dude's backstory, there's a really bad clunker of an anvil in that first bit - we know exactly how he's gonna propose to her in the end because they shoe-horned in really abrupt and almost non-sequitur dialogue for her wherein she tells him her dream proposal not terribly long after meeting him. It was weird and awkward. I mean, the fuck. I get she was still rattled as her longtime boyfriend with whom she had both business and personal futures planned out breaking up with her in the prior scene(s), but shit. They do recover a bit by having our dude - and damn, I love him, I genuinely do - comment something to the effect of "Well oftentimes it's easier to tell a stranger things we can't tell the ones to whom we're close". My point is, they knew it was a dog of a line, but I thought of three options to get the topic out there over the course of them getting to know each other just while I’ve sat here typing this recap - hell, they revisit the damn location later, when they are friends vs. strangers! It was bad writing.

Third complaint... y'all know by now: I hate the fake made-up countries. And this one is (wait for it) Cambria. Google Cambria. Go ahead. I'll wait. [pause] Nevermind, I'll just tell you, and this isn't because I have some bizarre encyclopedic knowledge of the way-back-when in Jolly Ol', it's because - well - I'm a reformed dinosaur nerd, and that overlaps with having an understanding of geology, because fossils. There, I said it. There were charts and sketches and stuff of the various periods of dino development from National Geographics on bedroom walls. I had it bad. For the record, I loved the book Jurassic Park, and the first movie was great, and the rest are good for laughs. The last two are good for mocking. I probably would've been a paleontologist, except for when my Christian father, who at the time  I thought was the smartest man in the world (and he is objectively intelligent in many ways) told me God put the dinosaurs in the earth, that there's no way the earth is as old as science proves. (I say proves, he said claims.) 'Cause, y'know, an almighty being is totes into pranks. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Funsies. I've digressed.

The quick-and-dirty is that the Cambrian is the geologic period that's from around 550 million years ago. (Okay this part I'll look up, because I'm so nerdy.... yup, I see it's 542-488 mil.) Anyhow, the dude that coined the name found the goods, the exemplars that proved this stage in earth history/backed up earth's age in Wales. And the area now known as Wales used to be called Cambria a way long time ago. Not millions time ago, of course. Trilobites and whatever can't speak... THAT WE KNOW OF. So I don't know if somebody was just like "Oh, that sounds like it could be a country" or somebody was being cute, thinking Cambria wasn't real, like it was something akin to Camelot, I've no idea. Who cares, it's stupid.

However.

Guys.... y'all.... my peeps.... um.... this'n is a keeper, so I'm not going to break it down and spoil it. It is very much worth watching, if you're into these types of movies, because it differs in a huge, very positive manner. Here's why this movie is above average for Hellmark: there's legitimate conflict (see above, re: what that means), and - most importantly - they are friends. They are buddies. They genuinely like each other. This isn't just about romantic love, this is about two people who care about what happens to each other. They care that the other person is living a life in  which they are happy.

There's also some realism here, not because it's an identical situation (it is not, trust) but in the broad strokes, I think of the Prince Harry-Meghan Markle situation. Middleton is uppercrust Brit stock, if memory serves (I'm not looking it up) with some sort of pseudo-distant-whatever royal line connection. She was gold for William, she's a good option for a queen (I mean, I'm sure there's duchesses out there, but that ain't who Wills loved). Now, Markle? So far from what would be called uppercrust. So, so very far. And yeah, yeah, I get that it's not as big a deal since he's not direct but more adjacent in line to the throne, but c'mon. It was a big deal. And you know all the ways why, I won't go through them here. My dude broke about a bazillion years' worth of tradition, and good on him.

And at the end of the day, that's what this movie is about - making your own way, creating your own traditions, adapting the old traditions, having confidence to do the things you're good at, the things you believe you're meant to do, and doing them the way you think is best. Is this a deep movie? No, it's fucking Hallmark, haven't you been paying attention? You think they let us escape without a super-rushed, wrap-it-up-in-the-last-five-minutes ending? You know better. I'll tell you this, though - it may not be deep, but it ain't shallow. And it's the best royal movie we've had so far, despite the too much haste with information-giving in the beginning and with the title and, as you'll find out, a really bleh last line... and of course with him being king of Fossilville. (I'm not letting that go.)

You're going to love him, he's a doll and classy and darling the entire time. You're going to love her, she's self-assured and fun and mature and hard-working. And you're really going to love John the valet. We find ourselves at ratings time and, somewhat shockingly:

5/5 stars

.

Past entries below

Winter Castle (people you’ve never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin’-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they’re all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They’re all in this giant faux igloo, and by “faux” I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place.

Anyway, through the doors you’ll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn’t damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark’s world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything’s backlit in ‘80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that’s beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it’s stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito’d in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say “as well” because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she’s face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don’t keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that’s plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don’t lick the walls. That’s good advice, igloo or otherwise.

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

“It’s like an igloo,” Mullen told the Standard. “The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it’s just getting into your bones.” She said every time they called “Cut!,” everyone would put on jackets to warm up.

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn’t make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just…. ugh.

1/5 stars

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Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn’t an “official” Winter '19 jam, google tells me it’s from the '18 spring movies, but everybody’s bundled up, so I’m calling bullshit. It ain’t half-bad, despite the fact that it’s a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another “royal”, the absolutely horrid “Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not ”My Christmas Love“ bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what’s coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it’s mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it’s the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn’t outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren’t typically hip to other countries’ jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could’ve been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third… maybe the fourth… that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It’s far from the worst of Hallmark’s offerings but, again, I think it’s because of Lenz, she’s the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

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Oh… oh mah… what the… we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

NO

"Chance at Romance”, it’s called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he’s old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

.

Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who’s in every fourth movie, and  the lead chick’s familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don’t worry, it’s not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who’s teaching the next big thing is like “You used to be the next big thing, why don’t you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I’ve been hired to make a winner, and I’ll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that’s not what he says, but that’s the deal, yo. The next-big-thing’s got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing’s coach, and she’s a horrible actress, she can’t play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

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The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and… shock of all shocks, no not really… our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don’t know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I’m in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I’m not contracted. I can’t speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he’s escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore… at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn’t seem like a "Winter official”, but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it’s airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it’s-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don’t fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It’s lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that’s the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it’s in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he’s the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it’s to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character’s parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <—- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with this movie. It’s vanilla. It’s white bread. It’s mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I’m hungry, shut up.

It doesn’t just get 1 star because it’s not bottom barrel - everyone’s competent in their acting, there’s nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it’s not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

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The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof…. it’s got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring “Hope At Christmas” on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there’s apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks.

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Send an ask if you want to be tagged.

#Nash Watches And Rates #Cheesy Winter Movies #so you don't have to #Cheesy Movie Talk

[riichardwilson]

Should I Return My Small-Business Loan?

May 8, 2020 10 min read

As we reported earlier this week, you now have until Thursday, May 14 to return your SBA Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loan if you feel like the forgiveness guidance is too stringent or — as has been the case primarily with mid-size and large companies — you’ve unwittingly opened yourself up to possible audit or, worse, criminal inquiry. 

To answer the pressing question of whether you should remand whatever stimulus the federal program bequeathed or use it as a launching pad to reopen your business, we spoke with Rachel Scava, COO of Ohio-based accounting and finance firm Fully Accountable, which works primarily with small-to-mid-sized businesses. Her advice? Well, it depends on host of factors, but the bottom line is: Don’t rely on your lender or the government to light the path. The time to soul search about the future of your business is now. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Was this extension a consequence of larger companies lobbying for time?

Definitely. My opinion on why they set the deadline is a couple of reasons. Number one is, with the way this process has worked in general, you have a group of people that probably applied before the May 7 deadline that still haven’t received their loan and now is wondering: Am I actually a candidate? What do I do if I get my funds? There’s a pretty arbitrary standard for this term “necessary” that the CARES Act is using. [Treasury Secretary Steve] Mnuchin has repeatedly alluded to the fact that they are trying to dissuade people from taking the money if they don’t actually need it, and by continuing to extend that, it’s making people less wanting to jump in and go for the funds, because it is a bit of a fear tactic. The other piece of it is, we don’t even have all the businesses open yet. For those people who got their money on May 8 or 9, and their clock of the eight weeks [to use the money to be eligible for forgiveness] has started ticking, maybe it’s not in their best interest to have that money right now because they may not meet the requirements for forgiveness.

Even as more money gets returned, does applying for or accepting available funds become a catch-22?

So many businesses we work with made decisions based on claims that all this money was going to be available for everybody. The original $349 billion was based on a mathematical equation that said this would cover all small businesses, and then it ran out in 13 days. Then it took another week before it got back up and running, and this second wave is going considerably slower. We had a lot of people who wouldn’t have done what they did business-wise had they not believed this money was going to be available to them — keeping staff members employed when the businesses were shut down to go in and clean and renovate and set up the social distancing. They spent that money, and now they don’t have the cash and they’re not getting the PPP fund. A lot of decisions were made based on the belief that it was a benefit, and it’s just not turning out to be that.

Related: Self-Employed With No Employees? You Can Still Get a PPP Loan

So should the mom-and-pop shop that received a $50,000 loan worry about whether they could be in legal trouble?

I think the evaluation that businesses needs to do is: Can I afford to have a $50,000 loan on my books if this isn’t forgiven? Let’s go with the mom-and-pop restaurant. They’re only going to be up and running at 25 percent capacity. They’re not going to hit the payroll totals they need to for forgiveness, and they already operate on slim margins. So can they afford to have a $50,000 loan that has to be paid back in two years? Has this helped keep them open for two years and put a big debt on their books, or has this helped them stay in business and keep their people paid? Those are two very different questions.

Was this ultimately a failure of imagination or never really intended to serve its stated purpose?

The optimist in me wants to say, when you look at the original CARES Act and the four corners of that document, it was a benefit. And it feels like every week, there’s another shoe that drops. And somewhere between interim rules and the departments all doing their own analysis and implementing what they believe are the standards, it’s definitely gone from what was a real benefit to the businesses to more of a burden. When this came out, I don’t think they could have anticipated that come mid-May, we would still be looking at a lot of the [public-health] precautions still out there. When is the uptick of people going to restaurants? So I don’t know that all this eight-week, keep people employed — it’s just not enough. If there were a little leeway and [it was] not so rigid on, “The day that you fund starts your clock” … It really should be the day you can go back into business operating at a capacity that can cover is when your clock starts ticking. If you read the act, that interpretation is there. The way that it read, it really looked like a good benefit, but I don’t feel like it’s panning out to be one.

If you personally owned a small business and received a modest loan, would you feel like it’s more trouble than its worth or that it’s the least the government can do and you’ll find a way to maximize it?

There’s a couple of things I’m looking at. One, if you’re a mom-and-pop shop and don’t have access to capital or liquidity and you’re able to bring people back and open up your business, I’m not looking at it as the government owes me. I’m looking at it in this light: Am I keeping my business open for eight more weeks, and then I’m shutting it down? Or is this going to help me keep my business around for the next three, four, five years? If I’m answering this is a Band-Aid and I might have to pay some money back, I’m taking the loan for sure. The ability to get people back to working and keep good businesses that should be around open — I think the answer is it’s worth taking. If you’re only going to make it through those eight weeks and be out of money, I’m not sure it’s the right decision for you. 

Is there any reason to assume the government might expand forgiveness?

They’ve already been stepping around this idea that we’re going to see more guidance on forgiveness before this May 14 give-back, so after that comes out, if the money is still available, I wouldn’t be shocked if we see another extension of that give-back period.

It’s primarily larger companies returning loans, but do some of them have a legitimate claim to these funds?

If you look at the number of large businesses already anticipating bankruptcy, that tells you they’re already needing money too, like J. Crew. The hard part was, when this came out, they said you don’t need to prove you don’t have other capital or that you can try to go to other resources. But now what they’re saying is, if you have that, it’s not necessary. So what’s the difference between this and getting an [SBA] 7(a) loan, other than the forgiveness piece? 

But if a business is resourceful enough to file for Chapter 11, perhaps that indicates they don’t have the same need as a much smaller operation simply trying to keep doors open for a few more weeks.

I agree with that. Those big businesses have teams of people that know how to go in and properly manage through a bankruptcy, and that’s not available to a small business. They’re just winging it and hoping for the best. Let’s think about Ruth’s Chris. They got annihilated, but you have to think that their counsel and CFO sat there and said, “We qualify, and we did this properly. We didn’t make this CARES Act. Why are we being told we aren’t eligible?” Just to play a little devil’s advocate, they didn’t really do anything wrong. Morally, perhaps they did, and they sleep with that burden at night. But when you go down the checkbox, they met the criteria. It’s a tough environment, no matter what size business you are.

Related: Which Public Companies Have Returned Their SBA PP Loans?

Should lenders bear any responsibility to guide small-business borrowers through this process of determining whether to keep their loan?

The lender is not going to. Lenders have basically taken the stance of, “This is your company, this is your loan. Other than walking you through the process, we’re taking no liability.” I, on a personal stance, think if a lender is going to push through a loan, and if they’ve done their due diligence, they have a responsibility to make sure the loan is correct and accurate and the amount is an amount the company needs and is within the qualifications. That’s their job. But it seems like that’s been completely removed. Now, there’s no personal guarantees, so maybe this is the way of holding the person getting the loan more responsible, but I do find it odd that there’s no liability for the lenders at all. They’re the middlemen. 

Bottom line: How does a loan recipient make the calculation of whether their business has been proportionately impacted?

I think you say to yourself: What’s been the impact to me? For some people, that’s going to be a loss of customers. For some people, that’s going to be completely shutting down. For some people, that’s going to be my employees aren’t coming back because of unemployment. I don’t think there’s a one-shoe-fits-everybody. You have to look at: Where was my business headed prior to February 15, 2020, and am I on track with where I saw myself going and what the numbers told me? And if your answer is yes, then you have to ask yourself why. If you think about health supplements, any company that sells any kind of immunity vitamin is probably doing very well right now. I don’t think you’re going to qualify to say, “I was really negatively impacted by this.” But I think doctors were negatively impacted, because people haven’t been going to the doctor like they should. As it keeps playing out, I don’t think we’re done seeing guidance, and I don’t think the fight on forgiveness has stopped. There are some really good changes they can make that would turn this back in the right direction, so I keep my fingers crossed.

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[douglassmiith]

Should I Return My Small-Business Loan?

May 8, 2020 10 min read

As we reported earlier this week, you now have until Thursday, May 14 to return your SBA Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loan if you feel like the forgiveness guidance is too stringent or — as has been the case primarily with mid-size and large companies — you’ve unwittingly opened yourself up to possible audit or, worse, criminal inquiry. 

To answer the pressing question of whether you should remand whatever stimulus the federal program bequeathed or use it as a launching pad to reopen your business, we spoke with Rachel Scava, COO of Ohio-based accounting and finance firm Fully Accountable, which works primarily with small-to-mid-sized businesses. Her advice? Well, it depends on host of factors, but the bottom line is: Don’t rely on your lender or the government to light the path. The time to soul search about the future of your business is now. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Was this extension a consequence of larger companies lobbying for time?

Definitely. My opinion on why they set the deadline is a couple of reasons. Number one is, with the way this process has worked in general, you have a group of people that probably applied before the May 7 deadline that still haven’t received their loan and now is wondering: Am I actually a candidate? What do I do if I get my funds? There’s a pretty arbitrary standard for this term “necessary” that the CARES Act is using. [Treasury Secretary Steve] Mnuchin has repeatedly alluded to the fact that they are trying to dissuade people from taking the money if they don’t actually need it, and by continuing to extend that, it’s making people less wanting to jump in and go for the funds, because it is a bit of a fear tactic. The other piece of it is, we don’t even have all the businesses open yet. For those people who got their money on May 8 or 9, and their clock of the eight weeks [to use the money to be eligible for forgiveness] has started ticking, maybe it’s not in their best interest to have that money right now because they may not meet the requirements for forgiveness.

Even as more money gets returned, does applying for or accepting available funds become a catch-22?

So many businesses we work with made decisions based on claims that all this money was going to be available for everybody. The original $349 billion was based on a mathematical equation that said this would cover all small businesses, and then it ran out in 13 days. Then it took another week before it got back up and running, and this second wave is going considerably slower. We had a lot of people who wouldn’t have done what they did business-wise had they not believed this money was going to be available to them — keeping staff members employed when the businesses were shut down to go in and clean and renovate and set up the social distancing. They spent that money, and now they don’t have the cash and they’re not getting the PPP fund. A lot of decisions were made based on the belief that it was a benefit, and it’s just not turning out to be that.

Related: Self-Employed With No Employees? You Can Still Get a PPP Loan

So should the mom-and-pop shop that received a $50,000 loan worry about whether they could be in legal trouble?

I think the evaluation that businesses needs to do is: Can I afford to have a $50,000 loan on my books if this isn’t forgiven? Let’s go with the mom-and-pop restaurant. They’re only going to be up and running at 25 percent capacity. They’re not going to hit the payroll totals they need to for forgiveness, and they already operate on slim margins. So can they afford to have a $50,000 loan that has to be paid back in two years? Has this helped keep them open for two years and put a big debt on their books, or has this helped them stay in business and keep their people paid? Those are two very different questions.

Was this ultimately a failure of imagination or never really intended to serve its stated purpose?

The optimist in me wants to say, when you look at the original CARES Act and the four corners of that document, it was a benefit. And it feels like every week, there’s another shoe that drops. And somewhere between interim rules and the departments all doing their own analysis and implementing what they believe are the standards, it’s definitely gone from what was a real benefit to the businesses to more of a burden. When this came out, I don’t think they could have anticipated that come mid-May, we would still be looking at a lot of the [public-health] precautions still out there. When is the uptick of people going to restaurants? So I don’t know that all this eight-week, keep people employed — it’s just not enough. If there were a little leeway and [it was] not so rigid on, “The day that you fund starts your clock” … It really should be the day you can go back into business operating at a capacity that can cover is when your clock starts ticking. If you read the act, that interpretation is there. The way that it read, it really looked like a good benefit, but I don’t feel like it’s panning out to be one.

If you personally owned a small business and received a modest loan, would you feel like it’s more trouble than its worth or that it’s the least the government can do and you’ll find a way to maximize it?

There’s a couple of things I’m looking at. One, if you’re a mom-and-pop shop and don’t have access to capital or liquidity and you’re able to bring people back and open up your business, I’m not looking at it as the government owes me. I’m looking at it in this light: Am I keeping my business open for eight more weeks, and then I’m shutting it down? Or is this going to help me keep my business around for the next three, four, five years? If I’m answering this is a Band-Aid and I might have to pay some money back, I’m taking the loan for sure. The ability to get people back to working and keep good businesses that should be around open — I think the answer is it’s worth taking. If you’re only going to make it through those eight weeks and be out of money, I’m not sure it’s the right decision for you. 

Is there any reason to assume the government might expand forgiveness?

They’ve already been stepping around this idea that we’re going to see more guidance on forgiveness before this May 14 give-back, so after that comes out, if the money is still available, I wouldn’t be shocked if we see another extension of that give-back period.

It’s primarily larger companies returning loans, but do some of them have a legitimate claim to these funds?

If you look at the number of large businesses already anticipating bankruptcy, that tells you they’re already needing money too, like J. Crew. The hard part was, when this came out, they said you don’t need to prove you don’t have other capital or that you can try to go to other resources. But now what they’re saying is, if you have that, it’s not necessary. So what’s the difference between this and getting an [SBA] 7(a) loan, other than the forgiveness piece? 

But if a business is resourceful enough to file for Chapter 11, perhaps that indicates they don’t have the same need as a much smaller operation simply trying to keep doors open for a few more weeks.

I agree with that. Those big businesses have teams of people that know how to go in and properly manage through a bankruptcy, and that’s not available to a small business. They’re just winging it and hoping for the best. Let’s think about Ruth’s Chris. They got annihilated, but you have to think that their counsel and CFO sat there and said, “We qualify, and we did this properly. We didn’t make this CARES Act. Why are we being told we aren’t eligible?” Just to play a little devil’s advocate, they didn’t really do anything wrong. Morally, perhaps they did, and they sleep with that burden at night. But when you go down the checkbox, they met the criteria. It’s a tough environment, no matter what size business you are.

Related: Which Public Companies Have Returned Their SBA PP Loans?

Should lenders bear any responsibility to guide small-business borrowers through this process of determining whether to keep their loan?

The lender is not going to. Lenders have basically taken the stance of, “This is your company, this is your loan. Other than walking you through the process, we’re taking no liability.” I, on a personal stance, think if a lender is going to push through a loan, and if they’ve done their due diligence, they have a responsibility to make sure the loan is correct and accurate and the amount is an amount the company needs and is within the qualifications. That’s their job. But it seems like that’s been completely removed. Now, there’s no personal guarantees, so maybe this is the way of holding the person getting the loan more responsible, but I do find it odd that there’s no liability for the lenders at all. They’re the middlemen. 

Bottom line: How does a loan recipient make the calculation of whether their business has been proportionately impacted?

I think you say to yourself: What’s been the impact to me? For some people, that’s going to be a loss of customers. For some people, that’s going to be completely shutting down. For some people, that’s going to be my employees aren’t coming back because of unemployment. I don’t think there’s a one-shoe-fits-everybody. You have to look at: Where was my business headed prior to February 15, 2020, and am I on track with where I saw myself going and what the numbers told me? And if your answer is yes, then you have to ask yourself why. If you think about health supplements, any company that sells any kind of immunity vitamin is probably doing very well right now. I don’t think you’re going to qualify to say, “I was really negatively impacted by this.” But I think doctors were negatively impacted, because people haven’t been going to the doctor like they should. As it keeps playing out, I don’t think we’re done seeing guidance, and I don’t think the fight on forgiveness has stopped. There are some really good changes they can make that would turn this back in the right direction, so I keep my fingers crossed.

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[scpie]

Should I Return My Small-Business Loan?

May 8, 2020 10 min read

As we reported earlier this week, you now have until Thursday, May 14 to return your SBA Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loan if you feel like the forgiveness guidance is too stringent or — as has been the case primarily with mid-size and large companies — you’ve unwittingly opened yourself up to possible audit or, worse, criminal inquiry. 

To answer the pressing question of whether you should remand whatever stimulus the federal program bequeathed or use it as a launching pad to reopen your business, we spoke with Rachel Scava, COO of Ohio-based accounting and finance firm Fully Accountable, which works primarily with small-to-mid-sized businesses. Her advice? Well, it depends on host of factors, but the bottom line is: Don’t rely on your lender or the government to light the path. The time to soul search about the future of your business is now. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Was this extension a consequence of larger companies lobbying for time?

Definitely. My opinion on why they set the deadline is a couple of reasons. Number one is, with the way this process has worked in general, you have a group of people that probably applied before the May 7 deadline that still haven’t received their loan and now is wondering: Am I actually a candidate? What do I do if I get my funds? There’s a pretty arbitrary standard for this term “necessary” that the CARES Act is using. [Treasury Secretary Steve] Mnuchin has repeatedly alluded to the fact that they are trying to dissuade people from taking the money if they don’t actually need it, and by continuing to extend that, it’s making people less wanting to jump in and go for the funds, because it is a bit of a fear tactic. The other piece of it is, we don’t even have all the businesses open yet. For those people who got their money on May 8 or 9, and their clock of the eight weeks [to use the money to be eligible for forgiveness] has started ticking, maybe it’s not in their best interest to have that money right now because they may not meet the requirements for forgiveness.

Even as more money gets returned, does applying for or accepting available funds become a catch-22?

So many businesses we work with made decisions based on claims that all this money was going to be available for everybody. The original $349 billion was based on a mathematical equation that said this would cover all small businesses, and then it ran out in 13 days. Then it took another week before it got back up and running, and this second wave is going considerably slower. We had a lot of people who wouldn’t have done what they did business-wise had they not believed this money was going to be available to them — keeping staff members employed when the businesses were shut down to go in and clean and renovate and set up the social distancing. They spent that money, and now they don’t have the cash and they’re not getting the PPP fund. A lot of decisions were made based on the belief that it was a benefit, and it’s just not turning out to be that.

Related: Self-Employed With No Employees? You Can Still Get a PPP Loan

So should the mom-and-pop shop that received a $50,000 loan worry about whether they could be in legal trouble?

I think the evaluation that businesses needs to do is: Can I afford to have a $50,000 loan on my books if this isn’t forgiven? Let’s go with the mom-and-pop restaurant. They’re only going to be up and running at 25 percent capacity. They’re not going to hit the payroll totals they need to for forgiveness, and they already operate on slim margins. So can they afford to have a $50,000 loan that has to be paid back in two years? Has this helped keep them open for two years and put a big debt on their books, or has this helped them stay in business and keep their people paid? Those are two very different questions.

Was this ultimately a failure of imagination or never really intended to serve its stated purpose?

The optimist in me wants to say, when you look at the original CARES Act and the four corners of that document, it was a benefit. And it feels like every week, there’s another shoe that drops. And somewhere between interim rules and the departments all doing their own analysis and implementing what they believe are the standards, it’s definitely gone from what was a real benefit to the businesses to more of a burden. When this came out, I don’t think they could have anticipated that come mid-May, we would still be looking at a lot of the [public-health] precautions still out there. When is the uptick of people going to restaurants? So I don’t know that all this eight-week, keep people employed — it’s just not enough. If there were a little leeway and [it was] not so rigid on, “The day that you fund starts your clock” … It really should be the day you can go back into business operating at a capacity that can cover is when your clock starts ticking. If you read the act, that interpretation is there. The way that it read, it really looked like a good benefit, but I don’t feel like it’s panning out to be one.

If you personally owned a small business and received a modest loan, would you feel like it’s more trouble than its worth or that it’s the least the government can do and you’ll find a way to maximize it?

There’s a couple of things I’m looking at. One, if you’re a mom-and-pop shop and don’t have access to capital or liquidity and you’re able to bring people back and open up your business, I’m not looking at it as the government owes me. I’m looking at it in this light: Am I keeping my business open for eight more weeks, and then I’m shutting it down? Or is this going to help me keep my business around for the next three, four, five years? If I’m answering this is a Band-Aid and I might have to pay some money back, I’m taking the loan for sure. The ability to get people back to working and keep good businesses that should be around open — I think the answer is it’s worth taking. If you’re only going to make it through those eight weeks and be out of money, I’m not sure it’s the right decision for you. 

Is there any reason to assume the government might expand forgiveness?

They’ve already been stepping around this idea that we’re going to see more guidance on forgiveness before this May 14 give-back, so after that comes out, if the money is still available, I wouldn’t be shocked if we see another extension of that give-back period.

It’s primarily larger companies returning loans, but do some of them have a legitimate claim to these funds?

If you look at the number of large businesses already anticipating bankruptcy, that tells you they’re already needing money too, like J. Crew. The hard part was, when this came out, they said you don’t need to prove you don’t have other capital or that you can try to go to other resources. But now what they’re saying is, if you have that, it’s not necessary. So what’s the difference between this and getting an [SBA] 7(a) loan, other than the forgiveness piece? 

But if a business is resourceful enough to file for Chapter 11, perhaps that indicates they don’t have the same need as a much smaller operation simply trying to keep doors open for a few more weeks.

I agree with that. Those big businesses have teams of people that know how to go in and properly manage through a bankruptcy, and that’s not available to a small business. They’re just winging it and hoping for the best. Let’s think about Ruth’s Chris. They got annihilated, but you have to think that their counsel and CFO sat there and said, “We qualify, and we did this properly. We didn’t make this CARES Act. Why are we being told we aren’t eligible?” Just to play a little devil’s advocate, they didn’t really do anything wrong. Morally, perhaps they did, and they sleep with that burden at night. But when you go down the checkbox, they met the criteria. It’s a tough environment, no matter what size business you are.

Related: Which Public Companies Have Returned Their SBA PP Loans?

Should lenders bear any responsibility to guide small-business borrowers through this process of determining whether to keep their loan?

The lender is not going to. Lenders have basically taken the stance of, “This is your company, this is your loan. Other than walking you through the process, we’re taking no liability.” I, on a personal stance, think if a lender is going to push through a loan, and if they’ve done their due diligence, they have a responsibility to make sure the loan is correct and accurate and the amount is an amount the company needs and is within the qualifications. That’s their job. But it seems like that’s been completely removed. Now, there’s no personal guarantees, so maybe this is the way of holding the person getting the loan more responsible, but I do find it odd that there’s no liability for the lenders at all. They’re the middlemen. 

Bottom line: How does a loan recipient make the calculation of whether their business has been proportionately impacted?

I think you say to yourself: What’s been the impact to me? For some people, that’s going to be a loss of customers. For some people, that’s going to be completely shutting down. For some people, that’s going to be my employees aren’t coming back because of unemployment. I don’t think there’s a one-shoe-fits-everybody. You have to look at: Where was my business headed prior to February 15, 2020, and am I on track with where I saw myself going and what the numbers told me? And if your answer is yes, then you have to ask yourself why. If you think about health supplements, any company that sells any kind of immunity vitamin is probably doing very well right now. I don’t think you’re going to qualify to say, “I was really negatively impacted by this.” But I think doctors were negatively impacted, because people haven’t been going to the doctor like they should. As it keeps playing out, I don’t think we’re done seeing guidance, and I don’t think the fight on forgiveness has stopped. There are some really good changes they can make that would turn this back in the right direction, so I keep my fingers crossed.

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source http://www.scpie.org/should-i-return-my-small-business-loan/

[laurelkrugerr]

Should I Return My Small-Business Loan?

May 8, 2020 10 min read

As we reported earlier this week, you now have until Thursday, May 14 to return your SBA Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loan if you feel like the forgiveness guidance is too stringent or — as has been the case primarily with mid-size and large companies — you’ve unwittingly opened yourself up to possible audit or, worse, criminal inquiry. 

To answer the pressing question of whether you should remand whatever stimulus the federal program bequeathed or use it as a launching pad to reopen your business, we spoke with Rachel Scava, COO of Ohio-based accounting and finance firm Fully Accountable, which works primarily with small-to-mid-sized businesses. Her advice? Well, it depends on host of factors, but the bottom line is: Don’t rely on your lender or the government to light the path. The time to soul search about the future of your business is now. Here are edited excerpts from our conversation.

Was this extension a consequence of larger companies lobbying for time?

Definitely. My opinion on why they set the deadline is a couple of reasons. Number one is, with the way this process has worked in general, you have a group of people that probably applied before the May 7 deadline that still haven’t received their loan and now is wondering: Am I actually a candidate? What do I do if I get my funds? There’s a pretty arbitrary standard for this term “necessary” that the CARES Act is using. [Treasury Secretary Steve] Mnuchin has repeatedly alluded to the fact that they are trying to dissuade people from taking the money if they don’t actually need it, and by continuing to extend that, it’s making people less wanting to jump in and go for the funds, because it is a bit of a fear tactic. The other piece of it is, we don’t even have all the businesses open yet. For those people who got their money on May 8 or 9, and their clock of the eight weeks [to use the money to be eligible for forgiveness] has started ticking, maybe it’s not in their best interest to have that money right now because they may not meet the requirements for forgiveness.

Even as more money gets returned, does applying for or accepting available funds become a catch-22?

So many businesses we work with made decisions based on claims that all this money was going to be available for everybody. The original $349 billion was based on a mathematical equation that said this would cover all small businesses, and then it ran out in 13 days. Then it took another week before it got back up and running, and this second wave is going considerably slower. We had a lot of people who wouldn’t have done what they did business-wise had they not believed this money was going to be available to them — keeping staff members employed when the businesses were shut down to go in and clean and renovate and set up the social distancing. They spent that money, and now they don’t have the cash and they’re not getting the PPP fund. A lot of decisions were made based on the belief that it was a benefit, and it’s just not turning out to be that.

Related: Self-Employed With No Employees? You Can Still Get a PPP Loan

So should the mom-and-pop shop that received a $50,000 loan worry about whether they could be in legal trouble?

I think the evaluation that businesses needs to do is: Can I afford to have a $50,000 loan on my books if this isn’t forgiven? Let’s go with the mom-and-pop restaurant. They’re only going to be up and running at 25 percent capacity. They’re not going to hit the payroll totals they need to for forgiveness, and they already operate on slim margins. So can they afford to have a $50,000 loan that has to be paid back in two years? Has this helped keep them open for two years and put a big debt on their books, or has this helped them stay in business and keep their people paid? Those are two very different questions.

Was this ultimately a failure of imagination or never really intended to serve its stated purpose?

The optimist in me wants to say, when you look at the original CARES Act and the four corners of that document, it was a benefit. And it feels like every week, there’s another shoe that drops. And somewhere between interim rules and the departments all doing their own analysis and implementing what they believe are the standards, it’s definitely gone from what was a real benefit to the businesses to more of a burden. When this came out, I don’t think they could have anticipated that come mid-May, we would still be looking at a lot of the [public-health] precautions still out there. When is the uptick of people going to restaurants? So I don’t know that all this eight-week, keep people employed — it’s just not enough. If there were a little leeway and [it was] not so rigid on, “The day that you fund starts your clock” … It really should be the day you can go back into business operating at a capacity that can cover is when your clock starts ticking. If you read the act, that interpretation is there. The way that it read, it really looked like a good benefit, but I don’t feel like it’s panning out to be one.

If you personally owned a small business and received a modest loan, would you feel like it’s more trouble than its worth or that it’s the least the government can do and you’ll find a way to maximize it?

There’s a couple of things I’m looking at. One, if you’re a mom-and-pop shop and don’t have access to capital or liquidity and you’re able to bring people back and open up your business, I’m not looking at it as the government owes me. I’m looking at it in this light: Am I keeping my business open for eight more weeks, and then I’m shutting it down? Or is this going to help me keep my business around for the next three, four, five years? If I’m answering this is a Band-Aid and I might have to pay some money back, I’m taking the loan for sure. The ability to get people back to working and keep good businesses that should be around open — I think the answer is it’s worth taking. If you’re only going to make it through those eight weeks and be out of money, I’m not sure it’s the right decision for you. 

Is there any reason to assume the government might expand forgiveness?

They’ve already been stepping around this idea that we’re going to see more guidance on forgiveness before this May 14 give-back, so after that comes out, if the money is still available, I wouldn’t be shocked if we see another extension of that give-back period.

It’s primarily larger companies returning loans, but do some of them have a legitimate claim to these funds?

If you look at the number of large businesses already anticipating bankruptcy, that tells you they’re already needing money too, like J. Crew. The hard part was, when this came out, they said you don’t need to prove you don’t have other capital or that you can try to go to other resources. But now what they’re saying is, if you have that, it’s not necessary. So what’s the difference between this and getting an [SBA] 7(a) loan, other than the forgiveness piece? 

But if a business is resourceful enough to file for Chapter 11, perhaps that indicates they don’t have the same need as a much smaller operation simply trying to keep doors open for a few more weeks.

I agree with that. Those big businesses have teams of people that know how to go in and properly manage through a bankruptcy, and that’s not available to a small business. They’re just winging it and hoping for the best. Let’s think about Ruth’s Chris. They got annihilated, but you have to think that their counsel and CFO sat there and said, “We qualify, and we did this properly. We didn’t make this CARES Act. Why are we being told we aren’t eligible?” Just to play a little devil’s advocate, they didn’t really do anything wrong. Morally, perhaps they did, and they sleep with that burden at night. But when you go down the checkbox, they met the criteria. It’s a tough environment, no matter what size business you are.

Related: Which Public Companies Have Returned Their SBA PP Loans?

Should lenders bear any responsibility to guide small-business borrowers through this process of determining whether to keep their loan?

The lender is not going to. Lenders have basically taken the stance of, “This is your company, this is your loan. Other than walking you through the process, we’re taking no liability.” I, on a personal stance, think if a lender is going to push through a loan, and if they’ve done their due diligence, they have a responsibility to make sure the loan is correct and accurate and the amount is an amount the company needs and is within the qualifications. That’s their job. But it seems like that’s been completely removed. Now, there’s no personal guarantees, so maybe this is the way of holding the person getting the loan more responsible, but I do find it odd that there’s no liability for the lenders at all. They’re the middlemen. 

Bottom line: How does a loan recipient make the calculation of whether their business has been proportionately impacted?

I think you say to yourself: What’s been the impact to me? For some people, that’s going to be a loss of customers. For some people, that’s going to be completely shutting down. For some people, that’s going to be my employees aren’t coming back because of unemployment. I don’t think there’s a one-shoe-fits-everybody. You have to look at: Where was my business headed prior to February 15, 2020, and am I on track with where I saw myself going and what the numbers told me? And if your answer is yes, then you have to ask yourself why. If you think about health supplements, any company that sells any kind of immunity vitamin is probably doing very well right now. I don’t think you’re going to qualify to say, “I was really negatively impacted by this.” But I think doctors were negatively impacted, because people haven’t been going to the doctor like they should. As it keeps playing out, I don’t think we’re done seeing guidance, and I don’t think the fight on forgiveness has stopped. There are some really good changes they can make that would turn this back in the right direction, so I keep my fingers crossed.

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[williamsjoan]

Are rightsholders ready for public domain day?

Dave Davis Contributor

Dave Davis joined Copyright Clearance Center in 1994 and currently serves as a research analyst. He previously held directorships in both public libraries and corporate libraries and earned joint master’s degrees in Library and Information Sciences and Medieval European History from Catholic University of America.

More posts by this contributor

A long and winding road to new copyright legislation

How AI and copyright would work

On January 1, 2019, the New Year will ring in untold numbers of additions to the public domain in the U.S., including hundreds and maybe thousands of works with at least a small public reputation. This, of course, is due to the expiration of the terms of their copyrights, some of which have been extended multiple times since the 1960s. 

This is a good thing from many perspectives, including that of authors, publishers, museum curators, teachers, old-book readers and music and film buffs. It possibly may be a slightly bad thing for a few people — primarily certain estates representing long-dead authors and other creators.

What’s a “term” in the context of copyright?

The duration, or term, of U.S. copyright is set by Congress, and has gradually crept up over time from the original 14 years (plus 14 more if the author was still alive and renewed the copyright) — in Thomas Jefferson’s time — to a whopping “life of the author plus 70 years,” as set by the 1998 “Copyright Term Extension Act” (CTEA, which extended it from life plus 50).

For works first published between 1909 and 1978, the maximum term was finally set by Congress at 95 years (assuming the author complied with a whole lot of rules, alluded to below).  And for post-1978 works, in instances where the author/creator is not a human being (such as a business commissioning a “work made for hire” under rules developed in the case-law) or the work was published under a pseudonym for an unknown person, the term can be as long as 120 years! The copyright in a work, duly registered at the time that registration was required (pre-1978), may never have been renewed, and so its protection may have quietly lapsed some time ago; for many more obscure works, it’s hard to know.

Fun fact: This Copyright Term Extension Act is also known as the Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act. Congress named it in memory of the composer of “I’ve Got You, Babe,” who, as a member of Congress from Southern California, was among the authors of the bill; he unfortunately happened to die while it was being worked on in committee. Prior to 1978, the term of U.S. copyrights was determined by fixed terms of years, subject to publication, registration and notice requirements. Here are more details on that.

How do works pass into the public domain?

Currently, works pass into the public domain according to a complex schedule, combining (sometimes awkwardly) the rules of various laws implemented over the past century.

Bear in mind, however, that many works have passed (or “fallen” or “lapsed,” as the older phrases had it) into the public domain in the U.S. for reasons other than term expiry, even during the 20 years of the CTEA extension. According to the law in effect prior to 1978, if the work was published but never registered in the U.S. Copyright Office, it did not receive protection under copyright law; a work might also not be protected by U.S. copyright law if it lacked proper notice — the © symbol and the proper wording — or if the work’s registration was not renewed after its first 28-year term expired. Or if, as a work of the federal government, it never enjoyed copyright protection in the first place.

Qui Bono? (get it?)

As it turns out, it is not just re-publishers of “classic” texts, such as Dover Thrift Editions, which benefit when new works become available. Textbook and educational publishers frequently re-use old short stories and essays in larger collections, and a work of marginal utility might become more attractive as a potential addition to these collections once the cost of clearing the rights is reduced.

For example, a few years ago a 1922 story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” (whose U.S. copyright had lapsed) was adapted into a feature film. To me, the lesson to be gleaned is that many works of the early 20th century still appear to bear some cultural cachet (or at least continuing value to society) — such that more no-cost access to these works (by their passing from copyright protection to the public domain) should have the overall effect of helping them find new audiences.

Note: Bear in mind, all of these examples are simply illustrative — without a full and careful copyright search, it is difficult to be certain of the copyright status of almost any work. On that, more below.

New works coming into the U.S. public domain also will have the effect of giving researchers new texts to run Text and Data Mining (TDM) algorithms across. It also may add to the richness of film and cultural studies.

Mark Twain proves this isn’t so easy

Unfortunately, determining when a work has in fact “fallen” into the public domain due to the term of its copyright having expired is not always as simple as one might hope.

For example, one might think that everything ever laid down by the pen of Mark Twain (S.L. Clemens, d. 1910) would be in the public domain by now. But, since he left a treasure trove of unpublished works, their copyright protection has extended for many years after his death, because, under pre-1978 law, those works’ copyright protection would not start until the works were published. The distinction between published and unpublished works has been discarded under post-1978 law, but won’t be fully effective for another 30 years. So, some items in the microfilm edition of Twain’s letters and manuscripts (their first publication) are still considered to be under copyright. He’s also enjoyed considerable success recently with the full and final publication of his autobiography.

Twain, a student of intellectual property, steadfastly argued for a perpetual copyright, but he came to realize that this was not permitted under the copyright clause of the U.S. Constitution, which refers to “securing [protection] for limited times.” But, in an age when copyright only protected works for which registrations had been obtained, he did point out that most books wouldn’t be affected by a longer term at all — for the vast bulk of them had no commercial life remaining to them a very few years after their initial publication:

One author per year produces a book which can outlive the forty-two-year limit; that’s all. This nation can’t produce two authors a year that can do it; the thing is demonstrably impossible. All that the limited copyright can do is to take the bread out of the mouths of the children of that one author per year.

I made an estimate some years ago, when I appeared before a committee of the House of Lords, that we had published in this country since the Declaration of Independence 220,000 books. They have all gone. They had all perished before they were ten years old. It is only one book in 1000 that can outlive the forty-two-year limit. Therefore, why put a limit at all? You might as well limit the family to twenty-two children.

– S.L. Clemens, in testimony to Congress, concerning proposed copyright legislation (1906)

“Forever minus a day,” another idea which has been occasionally bruited about (particularly by Congressman Bono and his widow, who was later elected seven times in her own right to Congress), would not constitute much of an effective limit, and so would, I believe, violate the Constitutional limitation; 95 years (an estimated average of the “Life plus 70” term) seems closer to a natural lifespan for a copyright — to me at least. If you and your heirs somehow can’t get the commercial value out of your work before nearly a century is out, I think there’s a takeaway lesson there.

On the other hand…

… some works do have cultural lifespans exceeding the term of copyright. The estates of certain literary, film and musical creators may stand to lose when the copyright in some of the works in their respective repertories lose copyright protection due to the lapse of their terms. For some examples of works entering the public domain on January 1, 2019, that may still have financial value to the author/creator’s heirs: Hemingway’s “Three Stories and 10 Poems” was first published in 1923; it was also the year of release for “Safety Last!” a silent film from Hal Roach Studios, starring Harold Lloyd, which many people remember. The same year saw the first publication (of the sheet music) for “Who’s Sorry Now?” which was a hit recording for Connie Francis in 1958.

But, on balance, “Nothing gold can stay,” as Robert Frost observed in a poem slated — I’m pretty sure — to enter the public domain on January 1st.* The reading, listening, and viewing public should expect to be the main beneficiary of these works entering the public domain. Indeed, 95 years is a good run for the commercial exploitation of a work. Now it’s everybody else’s turn to benefit.

*If it hasn’t already. Copyright searches, on the detail level, can be quite difficult and time-consuming. See: https://www.copyright.gov/rrc/. For any proposed commercial republication, it is certainly the course of wisdom to consult with an attorney and have a full copyright search done.

Are rightsholders ready for public domain day? published first on https://timloewe.tumblr.com/

[hotokeiki]

Week 128: J-pop

http://zippyaudio3.com/download/reina-ueda-%E4%B8%8A%E7%94%B0%E9%BA%97%E5%A5%88_watashi-dori-%E3%83%AF%E3%82%BF%E3%82%B7-%E3%83%89%E3%83%AA/-569986_FWqKXF#.WRKBntnktTw.facebook

Hey guys!

Man, has it been a while. The summer has been busier than I originally anticipated. Hopefully, you saw the last update I posted. That explains fairly well what all I want to do this summer, and NEED to do this summer.

Anyway.. How is everybody?

…

Linda: They can’t answer you.

Shh, Linda. *whisper* I know, but I’m trying to be polite. *whisper*

So, the last post was good ol’ St. Paddy’s Day, March 17. It is now May 17.. I’m sorry I left you with that for two months. XD

So, what’s happened since then?

Well, finals. That was a week before my birthday. Oh yeah, I had a birthday!.. We’ll get to that.

Let’s start with grades. A couple of my professors waited until the latest allowable time to turn in grades, but I had my grades by Friday, May 5.

Here they are. I’m pretty happy with them.

EE 353 (Communication Systems) - B+

EE 358 (Control Systems) - A                (pretty happy with this one)

EE 368 (Control Systems Lab) - C

CS 460 (Operating Systems) - A

EE 363 (Communication Systems Lab) - A

EE 477W (Senior Design II) - A

PSYC 460W (Psychology of Women) - A

Term GPA was 3.73, so I made Dean’s List! (=> 3.5)

I was trying to catch up in Control Systems after realizing I was taking the class too lightly. You don’t really learn things when you’ve already convinced yourself you don’t understand. Anyway, there were some tougher parts of the semester. I was freaking about this one report for Control Systems Lab, and I had convinced myself that it was due later than it was. The first section of that lab had two more days to do the simulations and write their report.. but I digress. I felt bad about doing that to Uncle Paco, being at the lab to ask questions when the assignment was due, and worked to get it done that night (I thought it was due by midnight). I apologized to Uncle Paco, and emailed my report before midnight. We worked things out, but I still got docked for the assignment. So did Evan, and we weren’t the only ones who thought it wasn’t due at that point. The last exam for Controls was the week before finals, and I thought it went pretty well. I actually figured out how Lag Compensation works during the exam (no one knew). XD

And the Communication Systems exams were brutal. I did pretty badly on the first one. It’s not that the questions were confusing, but there were so many! I told myself that if I had worked out more problems while studying, I could’ve finished the exam. There were 9 problems. I only had one actual final, and that was basically comprehensive. Also, Dr. Wu says that the exam problems are the same as the homework. They’re not entirely. He basically copied the exam from last year, and I didn’t have that exam to study for the first exam. Anyway, we get to the final (there were only two exams in total) which I’d been studying for for a couple days. But the final was.. OH MY GOSH, HOW?? How do you answer 11 problems in 2 hours. It seems easy, but the first problem is finding the coefficients for Trigonometric Fourier Series. I didn’t even finish that problem, and it took like 10 minutes!! That final was by far the worst exam I’ve ever had. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I know, because I had Evan record it. The Communications Lab was fun. It was basically a bunch of MatLab programming. I got behind on three reports, but the T.A. was fine with me turning them in late, and immediately graded them. He’s a nice guy, and he’s graduating with his masters. We’re friends now. Good luck, Zhewei!

Psychology of Women went really well. That was a fun class. I got perfects on all my papers. The last exam was also the week before finals, and it wasn’t comprehensive. I felt really good about that one. Dr. Krawczyk said we could email her to find out our scores on the final. I got a 38! Operating Systems was also really fun. Now I understand why Windows is not great for task management. We only had a project and a final take home exam/ homework/ project thing. That also went really well. I got it finished before the Computer Science party. That was a strange week. And we hit a bunch of snags in Senior Design, but my dad helped me a lot in getting ANYTHING running on the display. The display driver controller was being a little shit. Here’s video of the display demo we showed Dr. Allen: https://www.facebook.com/christian.dickinson.33/videos/566937140183929/

(it’s supposed to update the whole display at the same speed, but we ended up with a loading bar. And then we just repeatedly inverted and un-inverted the color on the display. It looks nice) Thaddeus had the Audio subsystem producing a tone, and Talen had click response of the Schmitt Trigger piano keyboard controller. In case I forgot to tell you, our project was the Super Pretendo, a handheld gaming console. There’s a good amount of documentation on Github this year!

 This is what happens when I don’t post for two months!! Sorry, guys. I’ll try to wrap up.

 My birthday was good. I had bacon and brats, and we saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 that weekend. It was good. It made me laugh and cry. I’ve been a little sick since before my birthday. I’m thinking it was a flu thing, maybe allergies. I’m pretty much over it.

 How old do you guys think I am now?

 Linda: You’re 23. Keep going.

 Gee, way to ruin the fun, Linda. Fine. Other than that, I made my last lecture for the trimester and presented it at the high school on Monday. It was about counting age, and telling time. It was confusing. Ore wa ni-juu-san-sai!

 And since Monday, I’ve just been trying to find an internship. I applied for one at my dad’s company, and he’d already decided who he was going to hire, but wanted to talk to me. It was good, and I might be able to get a job there later down the road. I applied for one at Itron, which is in town (I didn’t really want to commute again the whole summer). But I applied at a couple places in Mankato, and I got an interview set up at Software For Hire for tomorrow morning at 9am.

 Ok, I’m done. *deep breathing*

 Let’s get to the post!

 Watashi*dori by Reina Ueda is a song off her album RefRain.

 Yeah, something not tied to an anime… I think. You can never be too sure. I’m pretty sure it’s not, though.

 So, I found this song on SoundCloud. I was looking online for a song from Uma Musume Pretty Derby, and I found it uploaded by Anime Song#5. The name intrigued me, so I looked at the other uploads. And I liked almost every track there. And at the bottom of this list of uploads, as in the first upload for this account, was ワタシ*ドリ. I decided to follow Anime Song#5, and really liked the uploads. It was good, and there was so much good stuff being uploaded on a daily. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Ava.. LINDA! Did you switch my script again?

 .. That’s what I thought. Why do we even have that lever? .. SCRIPT! You did it again, Linda. It was funny the first time. Ok, it’s still funny…but stop.

 Anyway, I wanted to listen to Last Proof (was tied with this song. I wasn’t sure which to post), but I couldn’t find it. I could play it on my mobile app, because I queued it up when I had wifi and hadn’t changed the playlist. But it only existed on my SoundCloud app, and it was the same for Watashi*dori. Well, I realized that Anime Song#5 was no more. All that exists is one message thanking them for the great uploads (like I started with Minazuki-san!!), and all of the songs that I downloaded using the SCDL extension (thanks Rae), which changes the metadata so that the composer is the account that uploaded the song. So, I have a bunch of songs currently by Anime Song#5, and those were a bunch of the songs that Anime Song#5 uploaded. Thank you for the music, Anime Song#5. R.I.P.

 Word of advice. Download new songs you find on a regular basis, so they’re not completely lost to copyright antics. I SoundCloud is bad, because when an account is taken down, nothing remains. Nothing. It even says the message I sent is to Deleted user. I guess this message is my epitaph, then. This was three months ago:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi,

My name is Chris. I just liked almost all of your songs XD.

You have very good taste. I look forward to your future uploads.

I noticed the #5 in your profile name. Do you have multiple Soundcloud profiles?

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks. I listen to a lot of J-pop, and post it on my blog. So, it's always fun finding more.

Here's the link to my blog if you'd like to check it out: hotokeiki.tumblr.com/

Thanks again for the great music!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 This has happened before with SoundCloud. I lost a song one time, I think Sophomore year. It was before Signals and Systems and I wanted to hear this song. I hadn’t heard it in a while, but I still remembered what it sounded like and what it was called. I was able to find it again!! … and then I lost it before I downloaded, and I neither remember what it sounded like nor what it was called.

 The second time was similar with a song called Signal Graph. I talked about this on my Facebook page. This was in August last year!

Here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/WeeklyJpop/posts/226243397773833

 And then most recently with Watashi*dori. Due to Anime Song#5’s deletion, I didn’t have the song anymore. But I remember what it was called, and who it was by. It took a little while, and checking multiple sites (a lot of which were in Russian), but I found it. I found an mp3 site that I could give a link to an individual mp3 instead of the whole search result. I wouldn’t do that to you guys.

 Anyway, lesson learned. I actually downloaded this song before that unfortunate incident.

 Now, let’s talk about the song, because it’s super funky.

 First off, Reina Ueda’s voice is soft but also fun. It works very well with the playful nature of this song. The song is just super funky, and fun to listen to. It does a great job of switching between feels. And the instrumentation and back-up vocals really fit. It’s a well-crafted song that blends the parts together so well. I really like it. Unfortunately, I can’t listen to it with headphones at the moment. But when I can, it will be glorious!

 Enjoy!!

 Album: RefRain Track: 02 Lyricist: Youhei Matsui & Reina Ueda Composer: Hidekazu Tanaka (MONACA) Arranger: N/A Artist: Reina Ueda

 Here’s a link to the album sampler. It’s really cool! https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjSpbmZxvjTAhWIeSYKHY_XDbUQyCkIKjAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D9yY9IVfngPk&usg=AFQjCNFXd5Uy3qwp5WLpOMNOzHtroOtkBA&sig2=VxyLjWx1sM2pfjVaSzPTsA

 Alright, that’ll do it for this post.

 I need to get to bed. Interview tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

 If you have any questions or requests, please let me know. Sankyuu!!

 Linda: Hey, Kanchou..

 (That’s the first time you’ve called me anything. Why “director”, though?)

Yes, Linda.

 Linda: Happy Birthday.

 Thanks Linda!

 Ok. Good night, everybody!

 Issho ni ittemiru?

 - Chris  ——————————————————————————- Minna, gokitai kudasai!!

#Watashi*dori #Ueda Reina #ワタシ*ドリ #RefRain #Weekly J-pop #Week 128