#it can be just a ploy to hype the final shape? sure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pettyprocrastination · 4 years

Note

for the love of god please give us some austin powers!whiskey headcanons o queen of au's 😔we're just sluts for ur content

My mf babe boo lee validating this dumb au that i love so fucking much aksksks i have like two hours before all the thanksgiving stuff happens so if anybody wants to send me whiskey shit for this au DO IT!!!

warnings: uhh talk of sex and porn, foul language. theres zero organization or skill put into these i just threw ‘em out there lmao

So the general consensus of this au for those who dont know, is an austin powers au. Yes i said that.

Jack “whiskey” Daniels is an statesmen from the 70’s who is hailed as a legend for all the lives hes saved and ploys for global terrorism he’d stopped. In his prime, he was cryogenically frozen until the statesmen would need him at a later date (reasoning behind this is vague, even whiskey himself doesnt remember why. He get flashes of distant memories and emotions around it all, but they're gone as soon as they come.)

Cut to modern time, you’re scotch. One of the best agents who’s known for getting the job done with little to no issues, but not known to be a socializer. You are tasked as agent whiskey’s new partner as he is unfrozen and helping him adapt to the new world.

Now lets get into the fun stuff

With adapting to the new world, you had to teach whiskey about the internet and my god was that tiring.

He still doesn't get the point of dating apps. “I don’t need a little device to help me get laid, i do just fine with my charms and southern hospitality.” you're pretty sure he only says that because he cant figure out how the fuck to use tinder but you let it go.

Whiskey hates porn. Like DESPISES it. This is something he decided to tell you with an “urgent” phone call at three in the fucking morning.

“She’s faking! Thayer all faking!! What’s the point if she doesn’t enjoy it? It’s all a lie! This poor woman looks like she’s in pain!! They’ve made sex a production!! What has this world come to!?!”

You hang up and go back to sleep.

But yeah whiskey hates it. It’s all fake and over the top and just...not what he thinks sex should be.

To him sex isn’t a production or a race. It’s a celebration of attraction between consenting adults.

He enjoys the ametur made stuff, where there’s legitimate attraction between those involved

This doesn't mean he’s vanilla in anyway, he just hates that porn isnt really...sex. Its not mutual pleasure, its all jarring categories, fake moaning and very sexist foundation.

Once he finds the animal video part of the internet? Oh he’s as good as gone. He thin begins to send you links to videos' showcasing friendships between unlikely pairs, such as a sea lion and a horse, or a monkey and a ferret. You don’t tell him that you watch them all late at night when you cant sleep.

He fucking loves nature documentaries. Especially deep sea ones, focusing on fish that light up or are see-through and shit like that.

If you watch them with him you admit its...kind of adorable. Like seeing a kid all wide-eyed at the aquarium.

“You know what’d make this really interesting??”

“We aren’t doing lsd while watching blue planet, stop asking me that.”

He’s done drugs, like, a lot back in the day. Statesmen is stricter now, with regular mandatory drug tests so whiskey cant go out, partying like a madman and taking whatever he pleases.

Whiskey is bisexual . As is basically everybody i write so when you tell him same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states he legit tears up.

“Never thought I’d live to see the day.” hes so overjoyed at the news. He knows there's still a long way to go but seeing that, something he’d only dreamed and fantasize about while drawing shapes on the chest of his lover? Oh it makes his heart soar.

Whiskey is a man with brazen sexuality but of course aware of boundaries. First day you met him you turned down his advances, he accepted this and then decided to latch on as your best friend AND wingman! :D

You cannot escape this fate you're stuck with him now.

Anytime you go out to a bar he scouts for potential suitors. “How about the blonde at the counter, they're your style!” and before you can tell him NO he’s already swaggering over and chatting you up to them.

Whiskey, although you hate to say it, is a charming man. Hes kind and suave and will sing the praises of somebody hed only just met and have them melting in a puddle right in front of him. It’s annoying really. You have to listen to all the women at work swoon over him and talk about how youre soooo lucky to be working with him. He must be such a dream in the field. What's it like?

You plainly tell them that the other day you saw him get stuck in a revolving door and he asked for your help.

To get out

Of a door.

You will NEVER admit this to him but when you were a green agent?? Just starting out?? You had a major crush on the legendary agent whiskey. You’d only seen the photos and heard the stories but god you thought he was amazing.

Then you became a skilled agent yourself (perhaps also talented with a whip and lasso) and finally met the man himself when he was unfrozen.

Whiskey calls you “little filly” and will make jokes about how you need to respect your elders. You know since he’s technically like 89 years old lmao.

Whiskey hates that women gotta shave, he thinks you should do it if you want but the societal pressure of it? He hates it.

And lets be real, he’s a man of the 70’s so he fucking worships bush. (the pussy not the president) (i have a lot of thoughts on this)

He can and will go down for hours on end, almost selfish with it because he gets as much pleasure from it as you. Pressing kisses and nips on your thighs, mumbling praise against you, homeboy gets straight up pussy drunk and doesn’t know how to speak coherent sentences anymore.

He’s a cuddler. Even before you started dating he was just very affectionate and touchy. You once had to sleep together for warmth on a mission where you were stuck in the middle of nowhere during winter and he nuzzled and cuddled you all night long with a dazed smile. (he’s also your own personal space heater so that’s nice)

You thought you were over the hype and worship of agent whiskey,and you are, but when you get to know him as a friend and not an agent. As Jack, the fool who cuddles and tries to pair you up and sings out of key while cooking? God help you, your heart starts beating when you see his dimples and big goofy smile and all you can think is. “Oh fuck.”

anyways i reall y love this au and have many thoughts please sedn requests or hcs or anything you want me to expand on <3

#ask #asks #jack whiskey daniels #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x reader #statesmen #kingsmen the golden circle #kingsmen golden circle #jack austin powers au #this is so dumb but fun #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters

151 notes · View notes

ve1vetyoongi · 4 years

Text

Operation: Love Letters | 01

💌 CHAPTER INDEX 💌

♡ ⇢ pairing: ot7 x reader.

♡ ⇢ chapter word count: 5k

♡ ⇢ genre: mystery, college!au, romance, fluff, eventual smut.

♡ ⇢ warnings/rating: none, PG.

♡ ⇢ summary: When every student on campus is going crazy about a survey that claims to make true love bloom, your best friend manages to convince you to join in on the fun — except you’re disappointed to find out that your results just seem to be lost causes. That is until a love letter from a mysterious secret admirer turns up and you find yourself on a mission to find the person behind the pen — but you quickly realise it’s going to be a lot harder than you initially thought when you have 7 possible bachelors to investigate, right? Operation: Love Letters a-go!

♡ ⇢ schedule: updated every day at 5pm GMT in the run up to Valentine’s Day 2020!

💌 A/N: hello! i’ve been working on this series for a couple weeks now and it makes me so happy to finally be able to share it in the run up to valentines day! as the story progresses, there’ll be a ton of clues dropped about who the identity of the secret admirer is before the final reveal...so keep reading to find out! i hope you like it hehe, drop me an ask and lemme know your theories!! <3

You scoff as you read the flier you crumple in your hand. It's that time of year again, huh? February. Valentine's. The month of love.

Yeah right.

Every year your college holds a charity event for Valentines day. You fill out a survey nicknamed the Love Calculator, where you answer so called "deep" questions about yourself and most importantly what you look for in a Valentine's date — and then a computer analyses your answers and, for just a couple bucks, works some cupid style magic and matches you up with your ‘most compatible’ person on campus.

The instructions say you're supposed to send a love letter to your number one match. And if they respond? Then it's a match made in heaven! Insert eye roll here.

It's conceited really, just a ploy to draw money out of the student body with the promise of true love — which is exactly why you've never joined in with the hype before.

Until this year, that is, when your best friend Jimin, ever the hopeless romantic, managed to convince you to sign up. Which is how you find yourself in the gymnasium, surrounded by heart shaped balloons and the cheesy cover of I Wanna Know What Love Is that plays over head, stuffed into a booth as you fold up your survey and scribble your name on the front with a roll of your eyes.

Jimin's beanie falls across his face as he excitedly rummages around in the satchel slung across his torso to fish around for a pencil, hopping from foot to foot as he places delicate crosses in the boxes beside Male and Looking for a soulmate.

"I still don't know about this." You murmur as you tap your foot and stare down at the pink piece of paper in your hand, nerves brewing inside you for a reason you can't quite put your finger on. There’s a reason you’ve never done this before -- what if you get someone weird as your first match? Or worse what if you aren’t compatible with anyone at all and you find out you’re destined to be painfully alone forever?

This is definitely a bad idea. You should just rip your survey up right now and throw it in the trash and nobody would ever have to know you even came here, even if just to entertain your best friend's fantasies.

But Jimin is too fast, snatching it from your fingers before you can protest and pulling you gleefully by the elbow over to the Calculation Station where he slides both of your surveys over to the cheerleader manning the desk with a dazzling smile, all much to your dismay.

"Oh come on, lighten up!" He says, clasping his hands together wistfully as he eagerly watches the cheerleader input your data into the computer. "This is gonna be so fun! Who knows? Maybe I'll match someone really hot and we'll get married and adopt the cutest babies ever--."

"Or you could match with a crazy serial killer." You interrupt with a raise of your brow.

Jimin shrugs. "I guess that would suck, but it would make an awesome Netflix Original. I'd totally get famous and win an oscar and—” He drags you over to the counter when he notices the cheerleader beckoning you with a finger. “Too late now anyway, our results are ready!"

The printer beside the desk spits out two pieces of paper, and the cheerleader glances over them with a nod before folding them up carefully and handing them over to you with a wink.

"Have a good day, and don't forget to spread the love!" She says, and you offer her a sheepish smile as you take your results.

Jimin is already pulling you out of the gym and into the hallway, finding a quiet corner where he eagerly unfolds his page with a grin that falls right from his face when he reads the names littered across his page surrounded by a plethora of hearts.

"What the heck! Are you kidding me?" Jimin thrusts his results beneath your nose so you can read the names for yourself. "I got Park Chanyeol as my number one match?"

You bite back a laugh. Jimin and Chanyeol had a fling last summer, but it ended on a sour note when Chanyeol ended up being allergic to Jimin's pet kitten who he refused to part with for anyone, no matter how hot.

"Maybe it was meant to be after all?" You laugh as Jimin crumples up his results and throws them into a nearby trash can with a childish pout.

"You were right. It was dumb. I would've been better off matching with a serial killer." Jimin grumbles, shoulders slumping forward as his dreams of true love crumble. He perks up when he notices you wringing your own results in your hands though, paper still sealed tightly. "Come on, your turn! Let's see who you got."

"Maybe I should just throw this in the trash, too. You said it yourself, the survey was dumb anyway." You shrug.

"Nope. I'm not letting you get away that easily." Jimin clasps his hands together, looking up at you with a pout. "Please? For me?"

You have to admit, there’s a strange fluttery feeling in your stomach as you turn the paper over in your hands. Who knows? Maybe Jimin was right, and the love of your life’s name was printed right on this here paper, and you were wasting your chance.

To hell with it! What's the worst that could happen, right?

"Fine! I'll open it."

Jimin claps giddily and with strangely shaky hands you unfold the paper, Jimin crowding around with his chin on your shoulder so you can both read your results.

Wow. You gaze down at the list of names you've never even heard of, strangely disheartened. You aren’t sure what you were expecting but this is not exactly the life changing love story you were promised when you handed over five bucks to that cheerleader just now.

You can't help but feel your stomach drop. Are you seriously disappointed? It's not like you had high hopes for this thing in the first place.

"Well damn," You crumple up the paper and drop it into your backpack with a chuckle, joining the hustle and bustle of students walking to class. "That was totally a waste of time."

Jimin pats your shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, you never know, someone could get your name and send you a love letter."

You raise your brows. "I appreciate the positivity but I don't think that's very likely."

“Don’t be such a downer! It’s the month of love after all.” Jimin slows down, heading towards the bathrooms. "I'll catch you up okay? All this excitement made me need to pee!" And with that he disappears into the little boy's room with an air kiss sent your way.

With a fond shake of your head you head towards your locker, thumbing in your combination and lurching open the metal door -- but your forehead furrows when something small and pink unexpectedly floats out and lands beside your feet.

"Huh?"

You bend down, fingers curling around a pearly pink envelope, eyes widening when you see who it's addressed to. You.

You turn it over in your hands, glancing side to side with narrowed eyes, but seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Could this be what you think it is? A love letter? Only one way to find out...

Your thumb slides beneath the heart shaped wax seal, hands trembling as you shake out the note folded up neatly inside and let your eyes fly across the messy words scrawled in pink pen with a gasp.

Your heart thumps. Your shaky fingers have left crumples along the edges of the paper, and you know you should throw it away before you even entertain the idea that this is real, let alone meant for you.

But your eyes keep tracing the pen strokes, the neat and even but unsteady handwriting; a nervous hand wrote this letter, you realise. A boy's hand. The letters are slanted just enough to tell, and there's smudges of ink where their wrist dragged carelessly across the page.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

You jump at the sound of your name and shove the letter between the pages of a text book before slamming your locker closed just in time to flash your best friend what you hope is as close to a non-suspicious smile as you can muster as he bounds up the hall towards you.

"You ready to go to class?" Jimin asks, holding out his elbow and you nod. "It's a shame about the Love Calculator results huh? But who knows! Maybe we'll find Valentine's some other way."

"Yeah." You nod with a small smile, lost in thought as your mind drifts back to the love letter stowed away in your locker. "Maybe."

A smile appears on your lips. Maybe your results aren't so useless after all.

"From your secret admirer..."

You finish reading the love letter you found addressed to you in your locker with a triumphant smile, expecting a far more enthusiastic reaction from your roommate Yoongi. who just peers at you over the lid of his laptop with a bored expression.

"That's it?" He blinks. "You really paid five bucks for that?" He offers you a roll of his eyes as he watches you dance around your apartment waving around a piece of pink paper excitedly. "They didn't even leave their name?"

"Well duh," You slump down beside him on the couch, clutching the note to your chest and sending him an eye roll. "That would defeat the purpose of a secret admirer."

Yoongi just scoffs and goes back to his work with a shake of his head. "I can't believe you even did that stupid Love Caluclator thing. It's probably just a scam, anyway."

You pout, smoothing out the corners of the letter attentively. "You're just jealous nobody sent you a love letter."

Yoongi crosses his arms, flustered. "Am not! For your information I didn't even do the survey. Why would I care about what the results of a dumb survey have to say, anyway?"

You cock your head at him and dangle your results in front of his face teasingly. "Oh, so you won’t want to know who I matched with then if it's so dumb?"

He narrows his eyes with a puff, before snatching the paper with a shake of his head. "Fine. But only because you insisted."

You watch with a smug smile as Yoongi drags his finger down the list, distaste etched into his features as he reads each name out loud in turn before he splutters around the very last one.

"Hold up. You got me?" He chokes, holding up the page and pointing to where his name is printed in bold pink letters. Yoongi averts his eyes when you bust out laughing, crumpling up the paper and lobbing it at you with a scoff. "What did I tell you? It's dumb."

You clutch your sides and prod him with your foot as he grumbles under his breath. "Why? I thought you weren't scared of what a silly little survey has to say?"

"I'm not scared. Like I said, it's clearly a scam." Yoongi's cheeks heat up and he flashes you a look that tells you to quit teasing. "And this proves it."

"Oh don't get so worked up, Yoongi. I'm just messing with you." You unfold the paper and point to the biography beneath his name. "It says here we're only 10% compatible anyway, which kinda makes sense when you think about it. I'm a pretty decent roommate after all, right?"

Yoongi pushes away your results and buries his nose in a textbook instead. "You're being a pretty annoying roommate right now."

"Hey! Can you at least concentrate on this for a second? My love life finally gets interesting and you decide to do homework?"

Yoongi slams his book shut and finally turns to face you. "Jeez, Y/N, how can you even be sure the love letter isn't just...a prank or something? You're probably just wasting my time and your own getting caught up in it."

"Wow, you really have no faith in me huh?" You roll your eyes. "Because I just know. Whoever wrote this letter wanted me to read it. They left it in my locker on purpose! Is it so bad that I wanna know why?"

"Next thing I know you'll tell me you're going to actually try and find this person." Yoongi laughs breathily, but when he sees how you stare at him, arms crossed and unblinking, he lets out a groan. "Wait. You can't be serious?"

"Well why not?" You shrug. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"How do you even plan on finding them? All you have is a crumpled up note and a list of matches."

"Honestly, I haven't thought that far yet..." It's then that Yoongi turns the page of his textbook and a folded up note flutters onto the carpet. "Wait...what's this?"

He just shrugs, not even bothering to look up as you open up the paper. "I don't know. Must have been inside that book."

"Is it yours?"

Yoongi shakes his head, leaning back in his seat to stretch like he's exhausted by your interrogation. "Taehyung checked it out of the library this morning. He said I could borrow it. Why?"

Your eyes widen when you see what is written on the piece of paper in front of you.

"Hey! Look at this." You punch Yoongi in the shoulder, ignoring his ow! to run your fingers over the pen marks on the paper. "Don't the scribbles seem familiar to you?"

Yoongi rubs his arm with a bored expression. "I mean, I guess?"

"Goddammit, Min Yoongi! Would you take this seriously?" You fumble around in your pocket for the love letter, placing them side by side on the table, heart skipping a beat when you take in the similarities between the two. "Take a look at the handwriting. It's totally written by the same guy!"

Yoongi's own eyes widen, pursing his lips as he nods. "So what? Now you know he had a Bio quiz last week. Hundreds of students sat that test."

A smile grows on your face as an idea strikes you, and you rip the book from his grip. "Yeah, but how many of those students took out this exact book from the library?"

"I don't know — probably a few — hey!" He reaches for you as you get to your feet, but he's too late, and you're already taking off with his textbook. "Where are you going with that! I need to study!"

"I'll be back in a few hours, I promise." You call as you slip on your shoes and slide the book into your backpack."I just need to get to the bottom of who sent me this love letter first!"

It's almost silent in the campus library when you arrive, apart from the scratch of pens against paper from students with their heads bent over text books and the repetitive classical music that floats through the book shelves like a calming wave.

You head over to the check out desk in search of some guidance, perhaps able to interrogate the poor kid on duty about what he knows about the text book, but it's empty, and no matter how many times you ring the little bell on the counter, nobody comes.

With a sigh you duck behind the closest towering book case, dumping your bag so you can get down to business by yourself. Even if you had to search high and low, you had to find where this book came from. Surely it would give you a clue as to who sent you the love letter, right?

Blowing dust off an old stack of books, you drag your finger across the spines until you reach the B section, tongue between your teeth as you mindlessly thumb through books on Baking and Beaches and Birds before you come to a stop where you should come across Biology...except all that you find is a gaping hole that matches perfectly with the size and shape of book in your hands.

Dang. Already a dead end? Maybe Yoongi was right...hundreds of people could've checked out this book so this was probably a dumb clue anyway.

You're about to give up when a flash of a red sweater catches your eye through the gap in the shelf. There in the corner sits a lanky boy, so tall his legs stick out from beneath the desk he inhabits by the window. His fingers play with a silver pen, but he's not interested in the open notebook perched in front of him with lines half filled, too busy wiping away the condensation on the glass and gazing out at the hustle and bustle of the city in rush hour that juxtaposes the quiet company of books and dust he resides among.

Huh. Something strikes you about this dude, but you can’t quite put your finger on it yet. You duck behind the book shelf, moving a couple books to the side so you can peer between the leather spines to get a better look, and it's then that you notice the text book propped open beside him — Biology 101 — an exact copy of the one tucked beneath your elbow.

"Do you need help with something?"

You jolt when a pair of dark eyes appear and stare right back at you through the gap in the bookshelf, making you drop the textbook with a crash that elicits a series of harsh shhh! sounds from nearby. Upon further inspection you quickly realise it's the same guy you were spying on just moments ago, staring at you intently now as you stammer to form a response.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people?" You grumble, clutching your chest and dipping down to grab the book and simultaneously hide your burning cheeks.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He says, notebook deserted on the table behind him now so he can peer at you curiously through the shelves with a smirk. "It's just you looked sorta lost so I thought I'd offer my assistance."

He points to the name tag pinned to his sweater with a grin. Kim Namjoon — Librarian. Hold up...where have you heard that name before?

Oh god...you totally got his name in the Love Calculator Survey! Awkward.

It's okay, maybe he doesn't recognise you...

"It's Y/N, right?" He says as he straightens the books you knocked down earlier and thrusts a hand through the shelf for you to shake.

Dang it.

"That's me..." You take his hand with a sheepish smile, eager to escape the situation by walking to the end of the book case, but he just follows you, eyes bobbing above the spines of old books. "Wait..this might sound weird, but you don't know that because you happened to send me an anonymous letter do you?"

"Uh..." He's much taller when you finally step out of the aisle and come face to face, and he peers down at you intrigued but with confusion still evident in his voice. "No?"

Phew.

"Good to know. Just checking." He seems to find your rambling funny, biting back a smile as you jerk the Bio text book towards him. "Then uh, yeah, actually. I do need help. Have you seen this before?"

He scans the front, nodding his head slowly. "Biology 101. Yup, I've seen it. I might be wrong but I think that probably came from the science aisle."

You roll your eyes at his sarcasm. "No, I mean, have you seen it anywhere suspicious. Like someone shady reading it in a dark corner or smuggling it out of the library like drug cartel—"

"Nope. Pretty sure I saw a guy with blue hair check it out this morning though if that's who you're looking for?"

Taehyung. Damn it!

"Not quite." You cross your arms with a sigh before an idea strikes you. "Hey, is there any way you can see who checked this book out before?"

"I mean, yeah." Namjoon lifts the hatch of the check out desk and slips behind, flipping the book open to the first page and typing a couple numbers into the computer. "If I just scan this barcode..." You watch as he scans the book and turns the monitor towards you so you can watch as a document loads up. "It should give us a list of people who checked it out this semester."

An involuntary gasp leaves you when you read the list of names that pops up on the screen, eyes wide as you lower your voice to a whisper. "Is there any way I could get a copy of this?"

"Yeah, sure." Namjoon hits a button and the printer beside him spits out a mirror image of the document on his screen. You snatch it up with a breathy laugh, shoving it into your backpack and fishing around for your phone, thumbs moving across the screen at the speed of light to punch in a phone number you know by heart.

It quickly dawns on you that this mystery might be bigger than you ever expected -- and you wouldn’t be able to solve it alone. No. It was time to bring in the big guy. Park Jimin.

"Nah this shit is legit legit!" Jimin splutters as he flops back onto your bed. He's still in his cheer costume, rushing over to your place as soon as practice ended and he got the SOS call, and he let's out a gasp as his wide eyes scan the love letter for the nth time.

"So you'll help me find out who wrote it?"

"Duh. You know I love a mystery and a cheesy romcom story arc. You're, like, totally going to marry this guy and live happily every after." Jimin clutches his chest, eyes dreamy as he peers at you over the rim of his round lens glasses. "And if you don't I totally will!"

"Hey!" Jimin erupts into a fit of giggles when you launch a throw cushion at his face. "This isn't a movie, Park. I just wanna know who sent it. Ya know...for clarity." You wrinkle your nose when Jimin's narrowed eyes prod you to admit otherwise. Of course you weren’t actually interested in this love letter guy. Right? "Don't look at me like that! It's probably just some stupid prank anyway..."

You hug your torso with a frown. What if Yoongi was right and this was just a wild goose chase and you were falling right into the clutches of the perpetrator? What if instead of a secret admirer the love letter trail led to nothing but humiliation?

"Well there's only one way to find out." Jimin jumps to his feet, pacing the room for a few seconds with his hand on his chin before an idea strikes him and he starts and ripping down the schedules and homework reminders from the pinboard above your desk like a man possessed. “We have to get to the bottom of this mystery ASAP. And lucky for you, you’ve got me to help you.”

"How?" You inquire, watching curiously as he rummages through your drawers to retrieve a pot of push pins and a ball of red string that you just so happened to have lying around. Without further ado, he rips the cap off a pink sharpie to scrawl Operation: Love Letters in big letters at the top of a sticky note, pinning it in the center.

"It's certainly not environmentally friendly, but I've always wanted to make a murder board...although I suppose this is more of a romance board?" He lays out the pieces of evidence you have already gathered on the carpet; the love note from your secret admirer, the biology book scribbles, the list of library book borrowers and last but not least your Love Calculator survey results. "But as your best friend it is my duty to call the official investigation into Y/N's secret admirer to action." He grins. "So, what clues do we have so far?"

"Well we know that my secret admirer has to have been one of the people on this list who borrowed Biology 101." You grab a highlighter pen from the pot on your desk. "Hey look! A couple of the names on this list match up with my Love Calculator results."

Jimin's eyes light up as you start drawing circles around the names that correspond with both lists.

"Jung Hoseok, Kim Seokjin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook, Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon..." Jimin reads, nibbling the eraser of a pencil thoughtfully. "Kim Namjoon. Isn't that the guy you spoke to at the library?"

"Yup." You confirm. "But he didn't seem to know anything about the love letters, so I think we can rule him out of the investigation."

"Cool. But maybe he knows someone who does?" Jimin says, crossing his name off the suspect list but scribbling his name onto a post it note next to the words POSSIBLE ACCOMPLICE? and pinning it next to the list of library borrowers, connecting the two with a piece of red string.

"And we know right off the bat that it's not Yoongi," Jimin draws a line through Yoongi's name on the list. "So we've narrowed it down to four potential bachelor's. Jung Hoseok, Kim Seokjin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook. Now we just need to find out if any of them had a motive to send you this letter. Any ideas?"

You ponder for a second, eyes fixated on the unfamiliar names on the list, before shaking your head negative. "I mean, I've probably seen each them around campus a couple times?"

Jimin looks unimpressed. "That's all you can come up with? No secret romantic rendezvous or crazy drunken hookups I don't know about?"

It's your turn to roll your eyes. "Jimin, you know better than anyone my idea of a crazy night is eating a whole packet of Cheez-It's and binge watching The Vampire Diaries instead of studying for my calc test. Besides, you know I'd tell you every detail if I had."

"Fair point." Jimin shrugs.

"If only we could read his name." You murmur, flopping onto your bed and holding the note above your head, closing one eye to get a better look at the splodge of ink in the middle of the page that obscures some of the sender's messy handwriting. "It seems like my admirer spilled something right where he signed his name..."

"Hold on a second," Jimin's eyes light up and he rips the note from your fingertips, ignoring your hey! of protest to perch on the end of the bed. You almost choke when he lifts the note to his nose and inhales, lashes fluttering closed before he exclaims, "I've solved it!"

"Huh?"

"This smell..."

"Smell? Jimin the fuck do you mean—"

"Cologne," Jimin drawls, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world as he pulls you to your feet and jumps on the spot excitedly. "He didn't spill anything, he left you a clue! Your secret admirer sprayed this note with his cologne before he sent it off and it made the ink bleed right here, but lucky for you, I just so happen to have a smell profile on every cute boy on campus."

You raise an eyebrow. "Honestly under normal circumstances I'd be concerned but right now I'm just intrigued. Elaborate?"

"Remember that guy I had a huge crush on last year?"

"Yeah? The footballer?"

"Right!" Jimin's finger slams down onto the name written in curly scrawl at the bottom of the love calculator list. "I would know his cologne anywhere. And it just so happens that it says his name right here!"

Jung Hoseok.

"He's my admirer?" You gasp.

Jimin shoots you a triumphant grin. "Come on! We have a secret admirer to expose. Operation Love Letters a-go!"

649 notes · View notes