#is the chronic pain bc I’m stressed?

[curly-cottage-girl]

so I think I might be angry but I really don’t know why

#is the chronic pain bc I’m stressed? #but am I just stressed bc nausea and tiredness? #my body feels angry best I can tell #half the time I just have to guess at my own emotions :/ #my body is like #a separate person sometimes #I’ve already finished my period so it can’t be that #tho my ovulation can have similar symptoms too sometimes which SUCKS bc that means the majority of the time for me #though this Anger seems to have been around for a while #but WHY things have gotten better overall in the past few months #what IS it body what IS it??

[kierancaz]

Does anyone else get random pains in like the side of their neck and down into their shoulder ??? Just like randomly ?? And not just a shock of pain like it just shows up out of no where but then it just lingers.

Also on a similar note does anyone just feel like a whole bunch of neck and shoulder pain when they get high ??? Like normally I don’t feel neck pain or shoulder pain regularly but if I get high it’s there for hours. Like until the high wears off and it’s so bad that it makes me want to cry and it’s hard to hold my head up and no matter what I do, even if my head is resting back of I’m laying down flat, nothing helps. Does anyone else experience that and know a way to get it to stop ????

#idk what to tag this #neck pain #shoulder pain #chronic pain #body pain relief #physical pain #tw weed #cbd gummies #I really don’t like talking about getting high or weed but idk what to do #like I want to use it to relax bc I’m stressed but I can’t DO THAT IF ALL IM FEELING IS INTENSE PAIN #cbdproducts #cbdhealth

[wtfspocks]

It’s overthinking o’clock

#I got offered a full time position at my job which is awesome because one Iike #working there a lot and two I need a full time job #BUT #I have chronic migraines #and it makes it hard #sorry-impossible- #for me to work some days #so I awkwardly asked if the position could be remote partly and he was basically like no #SO now I’m worried two fold #ONE bc I’m worried he thinks I’m lazy and don’t wanna work #and TWO #the more legitimate issue of me not being able to work on days I’m having migraines #AND #that working more will or might make my migraines even worse #and then I’m worried some of my other co workers could hear me ask and I feel SO AWAKRD LIKE WHAT IF THEY THINK IM JUST LAZY AND WEIRD #FOR ASKING #I KNOW IM OVERTHINKING #but this is how my brain works #yes I know me stressing doesn’t help my head pain #BUT WHAT IF I RUINED HIS GOOD IMAGE OF ME #he said k was a great worker so now I’m like no what if he thinks I’m #lazy for askin😭😫

[urbanfiltered]

😋

(hearing The insect noises inside my brain again and being very normal about it)

#oh my god!!!!!! i’m so sick of being chronically exhausted all the time i miss the body i used to have!!!!!!!!!!! #what the FUCK!!!!!! #i’m annoyed!!!! why does it take me literally 12 straight hours of bed rest to recover from one (1) outing #i’m so sick of feeling fogged over all the time like i am just trying to live my LIFE but i have to build in these insane rest periods into #my schedule #it makes me a little bit resentful actually bc i compare what other people are able to do in their time off from work and i’m like #ok i can do maybe 40% of that if i’m having a Good Body Day #which is not up to me to decide lol #fun fact i actually used to cruise reddit to feel solidarity with other folks except they are all such bitter fucks #did u know they call trigeminal neuralgia ‘’the suicide disease’’ over there #i had to delete my account it was making me too crazy #anyways i’m bored but almost always in too much pain or too sleepy to do something about that so i guess i will just continue to Suffer #i did buy more concert tickets today so i now have Events to look forward to which is cool!!! #stressful too bc i’m like Ok how do i make sure that i can be in town for this #but a little bit of scheming is good for the soul

[dagasinfilo]

something about me is that i always forget i get super sick when i’m stressed

#i was thinking about the flare up of this week and went like oh wait right lmao #it’s probably bc i’ve been trying to force myself though this burnout for the last. idk. month? two? what is time #it’s hard to recognize and remember these things when you’ve been forced to repress every single emotion possible as hard as i can forever #i wonder if my chronic pain is related to my chronic stress oh well #maybe that’s why i do so well just in general when i’m smoking way too much weed

[xzaddyzanakinx]

So like i'm chronically ill and i suffer a lot from pain and fatigue and it can get really disheartening and demotivating at times.

How do you think Anakin would act with a chronically ill partner?

I’m not too well versed on any chronic illnesses other than POTS (family member has it)

But thinking of her/her symptoms/issues here’s what I came up with:

You wake up stiff and and your joints just don’t seem to work properly? Anakin will be late to work just so he can get your heating pad, your coffee and breakfast, along with some snacks for later. He’ll be so sweet and give extra cuddles before he puts on some bio-freeze for you (he hates the smell but he loves you so it’s worth it)

You’ve had a great day, a productive day, so good that you made plans… and now you have to cancel them. He understands, he likes being home and cozy on the couch with you better than being out in public anyway. He’s secretly happy that he gets to skip out on drinks at the bar with your friends, that means he has you all to himself.

You promised you’d fold the laundry and do the dishes before he got home from work, but you only got halfway through before you had to take a break… that small break turned into four hours. Anakin doesn’t mind, he’s just happy you are taking care of yourself and letting yourself rest when you need to. He hates it when you push yourself too hard and you end up worse off.

He takes you to all of your doctors appointments, he takes off work the full day if he can. He knows appointments are stressful for you (they stress him out too). Anakin will make a full day out of it. Coffee and donuts for breakfast, lunch at your favorite place after. If it’s a long distance appointment he packs you a bag for the car ride full of: snacks, water (no soda or juice bc he has to force feed you water; he knows you don’t drink enough when he’s not home!!!), a book, your headphones, chargers, fidget toys, and most importantly Hot Hands bc you can’t have your heated blanket in the truck😕

Your pain is 10/10 and you can’t even pick up the phone to call him like you do every day on his lunch break. He’s immediately on his way home, if he’s not there already. Anakin has anxiety through the roof when you don’t respond to texts so you miss three? He’s coming home asap. You don’t answer a call? You best believe he’s leaving work without a second thought, he’s not wasting a moment to even tell his superiors he’s leaving.

He manages all your meds for you.

He makes all your appointments and keeps them neatly on the fridge calendar.

He surprises you with little treats as much as possible.

Anakin’s a homebody, he enjoys the comforts of your shared space, so even your hospital stays are treated like nights at home. He brings all your favorite things, doesn’t matter if it’s a one night stay. He’s bringing your pillow, your blanket, stuffies…

He knows more about your illness than the doctors at this point. He’s basically a specialist. Countless hours of research and learning not only to understand it better, but also to help you cope.

He keeps a record of all your appointments in a binder to track your medical progresses/declines.

He helps you get a service dog, he’s so good at redirecting/educating people in public when they get too close or try to pet them.

#star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars #anakin x you #sw anakin #darth vader #darth vader smut #hayden christensen #chronic illness #chronic pain

[usuratongaychi]

Drawings + Rants + Headcanons/Naruto AU

i finally had some time to draw my versions of tean seven (minus kakashi). im gonna detail more of my AU later in the post but here are the designs and some notes.

For sasuke, in one of my other posts i had the theory that sasuke keeps his hair short to avoid resembling itachi, and thats why it is longer in time skip, because he is coming to terms with his trauma and still loves itachi. I also gave him similar creases to itachi, just from stress.

tbh im not too sure about this naruto design…but at least he isnt balding like before💀.

for sakura, i actually really like her older design, so i just drew her working. she would have her hair up and i gave her sakura blossom hair pins and eyeshadow.

also i havent drawn in forever so..thats why its messy.

(the rest of this is me rambling on..)

Now for changes i made to the story:

1. Narusasu endgame (yk im a stan)

I would have both of them be joint hokages, so technically both are the 7th. I know Sasuke is referred to as the shadow hokage, but that doesn’t really entail anything. I think it’s important because Sasuke would know just how important reform is for the village and shinobi system, but since people are still suspicious of Uchihas, Naruto would be the face. This fulfills Naruto’s dream, which when you really think about it, his dream was just to be loved, not really to be a politician. Naruto has seen how unfair and corrupt their society is, so he would completely work with Sasuke to make sure things like Danzo and Hiruzen’s corruption, child soldiers, hyuuga slavery and the “Uchiha Incident” dont happen again. I could explain more of this in a later post.

2. I would have Hinata look up to Sakura more, instead of Naruto.

I think it makes a bit more sense, Sakura is brave, outspoken and independent, just like Hinata wants to be. I would have Sakura be her first friend, since she can’t stand to see people be excluded or alone. That leads me into changes I would make for Sakura’s story.

3. Sakura. In the original, I would keep her kind of bratty attitude until things get serious in the Zabuza arc. Seeing her close friends so close to death, while not being able to help much would challenge her to become a protector. This also gives motivation for her to learn healing and medicine when Tsunade comes around. Sakura would be the “rock” or “glue” of team seven, which makes sense because she is the only one of them that came from a stable home.

Sakura initially resents Sasuke for betraying the team, but seeing how dedicated Naruto is to saving him, she decides its worth it to help bring him back. Besides if she didn’t, naruto would just endager himself trying.

4. Sasuke. I would have Sasuke after he realizes Itachi was manipulated into a genocide to protect the village, still go through him “i’m gonna destroy the village” phase, but when Naruto defeats him, they make a promise to change things, so no one else will have to suffer like that. I would also show more of the psychological effects of witnessing Itachi’s murders. One of my headcanons is that he’s pretty thin, since trauma survivors tend to have chronic stomach pains. He’s probably pretty paranoid about others betraying him, so he does it to them first (probably why he pushes naruto away so much). Sasuke is also probably still ostracized or “othered” for being an uchiha, since that is what the village is told about them. People still pity him, but dont come near him.

5. Naruto. 😭I actually made up a whole theory on why Hiruzen didn’t take great care of naruto, bc to me it just doesn’t make sense. it’s kinda a dumb theory and doesn’t rlly have anything to do with canon, but- what if Minato wanted to expose the corruption in the hidden leaf and get rid of the foundation, so as a sort of revenge, or just general distaste for Minato, Hiruzen doesn’t really provide for Naruto. 🤷‍♀️idk. A change I would make is to have naruto mature more to match his age. Like ofc it makes sense for him to act out for attention esp when he was younger, but i feel like past shippuden..he didn’t really mature at all? maybe thats just me. I’ll probably have more stuff to add for him, i’ll think of it later or put it in my headcanons post.

😭im so tired yall i will make a better post later on.

#naruto #sns #naruto theory #sasunaru

[levmada]

2 month T update the day before

- finally gave in and got a haircut bc i had a mullet and the length was stressing me out (honestly expected tho bc i’ve always gotten sick to my stomach when my hair grew any longer than to my shoulders). and it actually went rly well. only two people were working and there was a lot of chatting, and i got called ‘man’ a lot (in the same way you’d call someone dude at the end of a sentence. that probably makes no sense but i’m tired asf rn so take it).

anyway it’s much shorter and looks rly good :3

- started packing a bit ago and that’s actually done wonders for my confidence. i think cuz it’s more like a harness you pack yourself instead of it being realistic

- this is so lame but i’m more engaged in class bc i’m always looking for any way to answer a question and use my voice. i’ve always been that type of person (chronic teachers pet disorder/j) but i always talked quietly and felt unsure of myself in a way i couldn’t explain until i started T

on that topic i think my voice dropped even more since last week. it’s honestly been crazy but maybe has to do with how much i’ve been training it. it’s unmistakably masculine./very pos

- uhmmmm so for many years now i’ve been dyeing my hair black when i’m a natural blond and i couldn’t ever explain to someone why other than ‘it looks better’ and i’m emo asf (don’t worry, that phase never ended for me) but it’s occurred to me since i’m getting the slightest littlest bit of facial hair that it’ll be a pain in the ass to dye it consistently and the idea of going back to blond doesn’t make me want to curl up and hide in a hole which is very shocking to me. i was very very set on dyeing my hair black FOR LIFE. i’m not rly sure why T has changed that. maybe it’s cos i associated blond hair w being a girl or i hated my appearance so much while… it’s getting much better now. i NEVER would’ve comprehended on my own that that preference was cuz of gender dysphoria

i still need to think abt it tho

- last week (?) i posted a voice comparison thingy and it sounded so good. turns out i posted it just in time for me to start sounding like a frog that just woke up and smoked a pack of cigarettes. it’s kind of annoying😩

- ACNE ALL OVER MY FACE

- growing a ton of hair like everywhere but especially my arms. like on my fingers too??? and like i mentioned already above my lip. which has all been rly nice

- started working out a bit ago to build muscle which has been good for my mental health :3 on top of T making it easier to gain muscle, but i haven’t done it long enough to see results yet LOL

- emotions are so weird. at my 1 month mark i rambled about it and here i am again :3 my bipolar 1-bpd-a bunch of psychotropic drugs combo makes my experience hyper specific, but i’m less of an intensely neurotic excitable crazy person.

before, i didn’t cry probably as much as a normal person but now it’s physically impossible. not in an emotionally constipated way, i FEEL sad, but it just doesn’t happen.

i feel emotions more mellow in general. but i’m probably more like your emotionally unavailable but well meaning older brother

- my feet have gotten bigger i stg bc my shoes which used to fit me just don’t. i have small feet for an afab person anyway :3

- i’ve noticed that my hips are slightly less curved but i couldn’t tell you where the fat has gone 🤷🏻

- i think that’s it for now :3333

not sfw under the cut

- still no menses :333🙏

- sex drive has evened out A LOT which has been nice

- bottom growth continues. random erections are like getting hit with a flash bang but it’s oddly gender affirming

#i GUESS i have some things to thank my dad for #😌 #↱k.tm #trans #ftm

[prehistoric-faggot]

hey i’m back at it again & asking for money for food & nicotine🥲

info tldr: physically disabled, nd & mentally ill person who can’t work.

ive been experiencing a lot of stress lately and have pretty much relied on my nicotine pouches to keep me sane but that also means i’ve ran out quicker than usual.. and i’m also running out of quicker to make foods that are helpful to me when in a chronic pain flare up (which i’m currently in) bc i can’t spend enough time out of bed to make an actual meal.

if you have anything to spare, i would appreciate it a lot.💚

paypal

here’s a cat picture in return 💚

#dino talks #signal boost #boost #crowdfunding #crowdfund #please reblog

[auckie]

I’ve only ever bought a comm twice and the first time I hated the result but it was only ten bucks so who cares but the second time they just didn’t. Do it and didn’t refund me. Or dm me back. And that one was like 30, so again. Not that bad. But so many comm artists I know are always like ‘dude I’m so behind I’m so nervous my clients keep dming me’ and on one hand I get it bc I take forever to do anything but on the other hand maybe that means you took too many or gave them an unrealistic timeline. Sorry but it’s true. And that’s why unless an artist is huge and reputable I’m hesitant to get one, or unless I know the person well and either trust they’ll get it done at some point. Any point. Refund me. Or I like them enough to be like well you probably need that 60-90 more than me so we’ll let bygones be bygones huh? But then. But then you see them draw someone a free gift. And yknow. It’s like when someone’s ignoring you and you see them active elsewhere. Hey I get it we’ve all been there. It happens and I can roll with it. But just as when like a week passed and you still get peanuts. How can you not take that personally? (*saying this as someone who does this and doesn’t mean offense but recognizes how rude it is and will just be like shit I guess I can’t keep up with 300 acquaintances or old friends who live six hours away). So when it’s like, 5 personal pieces, two freebies for friends, and 0 comms. It’s a little insulting. I think you get to an age where you realize running around like a chicken with its head cut off isn’t cute anymore and as you try to get your shit together and stop the cycle of ‘guys! I’m okay!’ And everything is clean and organized and you’ve answered all your dms, paid all your bills, gone grocery shopping and done laundry and meal prepped for work. Then one thing goes wrong and it all goes to shit and you spend three weeks slowly trying to rebuild the house of cards. Then you’re back to ‘guys! I’m okay!’ Rinse and repeat. So seeing others still in it. It’s…relatable, but when money or time is on the line it’s a little annoying. I guess at least it’s not some sort of formal, corporate contract ofc. You try to be empathetic. Maybe they’re busy, or deal with chronic pain. Maybe something stressful just happened like an illness or death in the family, a breakup, job loss. Tons of shit could be happening. But if it’s a recurrent trend? Maybe. Don’t sell commissions. Or just limit yourself to three, I see a lot of artists do that. It’s smart and manageable. You can get in line to be emailed when they open comms again. Charge like, nothing. So it won’t matter as much if you have to refund. Don’t spend the money you get before hand till it’s done too. Take tips from the freaks who pump out tens of comms a month. What sortve scary tricks do they use? Is it viable? Are there shortcuts you can take, like those stupid ps yt tutorials? I dunno man I couldn’t imagine doing writing commissions. So I don’t. As much as I enjoy writing fuck that noise! Too busy and messy with my own life let alone tasks that don’t have set deadlines and scary employers standing over my shoulder. Bc I know my weaknesses and they are many, and I don’t like screwing people over lol— even if it’s only ten bucks.

#more whining so I put it under a readmore just bc it’s a bit long

[kafus]

i’m gonna be honest i’m having an extreme bad patch in chronic stress and it’s affecting my physical health at this point, i can tell bc when my stress gets bad i stop being able to stay asleep and i wake up in pain or with numb arms/shoulders, and guess who keeps waking up with a sore back and numb arms/shoulders (it’s me)

i know it’s a weird time of night for most people who follow me so i don’t expect a ton right now but if anyone wanted to send a nice message or pet photos (unfortunately dogs are a ptsd trigger sometimes so i can’t do those) or some pokemon anecdote or literally anything in my inbox that’d mean the world to me rn. i can’t get back to sleep and i feel like i’m losing it. don’t have the energy for full convo on discord either and this seemed like the good middle ground

#kiki was here #kiki.txt #no pressure btw i just figured id ask

[pastriibunz]

Does Kai have any physical/mental disorders? Only asking bc my Chem lab reminded me how bad my ankles are and im wondering if Kai has any chronic pain from all the world-saving, or PTSD of some sort?

For the mental disorders, that is an overwhelming and astounding yes!

Kai has a slew of mental issues that she’s dealing with:

Autism

Attention Deficit Disorder

Depression

Anxiety

Imposter Syndrome

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

and anything else I’m forgetting!

as for the more physical side of things, not so much.

dont get me wrong, I would LOVE to give Kai some physical disorders/disabilities. As you/the anon stated, saving the world is tough work, realistically, Kai would garner more issues than a few scars and some mental issues. I would LOVE to give her those instead of brushing it all off as “oh healing powers!!” or “oh she regenerates faster because yeah!!!”

but, I am an able bodied person. and I feel as if it’s not my place to write in something I know NOTHING about

the more mental side of things? I can totally do that! I’ve got some issues myself, not all that Kai has, but I understand the science/emotions behind it! plus, if i didn’t have/suspect myself of having it, that disorder was added in because I looked at Kai’s character and realized she aligned with that disorder. Essentially I was diagnosing my character lol. But even then, I do get kind of nervous about writing it, as I don’t wanna misrepresent those who do have it.

but as someone who’s able bodied, I don’t know anything about physical disabilities, and I have a much higher chance of completely misrepresenting people with those disabilities/disorders. And I don’t wanna do that.

but there is a catch!!!

if someone who ISNT able bodied were to come with me with a headcannon/idea where they were like “hey! I feel like Kai would line up with ‘x’ disorder because ‘xyz’”, and then direct me to resources that could accurately describe how said disorder works and/or if they have said disability, explain to me how it affects them as a person/how it could affect Kai, that would be AWESOME. I’m all for it! I’d love it if more people were able to see themselves in Kai :]

sorry for getting all ramble-y on you, anon! I just get excited to talk about Kai :]

#kai drew #oc #tkwdlm #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #the kai who didn’t like musicals #hatchetfield #kai in hatchetfield #oc headcanons

[insidereagan]

~brett hand + reagan ridley stim headcanons!~

sfw! altho mentions of stimming, which could cause unwanted/involuntary stimming for some autistic ppl

my chronic pain is rlly bad today so idk I felt like writing this lmaoo

so I hc them both to be autistic but at completely different places on the spectrum. They both stim, but in different ways!

brett:

OH <33 THIS MAN LOVES TO STIM AND DOES IT ANYTIME HE CAN

he used to suck at hiding it, was bullied for it as a kid, and now suppresses them when he can :’(

but now he’s unlearning the harmful things he was taught and is slowly learning to unmask!

HE LOVES VESTIBULAR STIMS AAH

like put him in a room with a spinny chair, and yea, serious and focused brett hand™️ is gone.

HE 100% MAKES LIL NOISES AND GIGGLES WHILE HES SPINNING <33 LIKE “WHEEE!” HE JUST LIKES TO SPIN OKAY

although after about 5 minutes of nonstop spinning, it actually helps him work and even focus better! (the reason why he struggled sm in school was bc he wasn’t allowed to stim) when I’m struggling to come up with ideas (I’m writing the synopsis/bible for a cartoon rn!) spinning helps, and I feel like it would help brett too.

and the smile he makes when he’s finally able to unmask and be,, well,, just be brett is *chefs kiss* 👌🏼

HE ALSO LOVES TO DOODLE IT HELPS HIM FOCUS SM <33

LIKE.. just give brett a piece of paper and a pen, and 5 minutes later, BOOM, you can no longer see what was originally on it, it just has bretts lil doodles. even if it’s for work though, the gang is never pissed at him. they’re just happy he’s finally expressing himself and not surprising his stims

which is why he always he has a piece of paper while he works to doodle on!! so there’s no random drawings of dogs, and cartoon characters on important docs for the shadow board.

he loves fidget toys. I feel like he has a large ass box of them on his desk, and if someone even dares touch them without asking, he’s gonna be mad.

he won’t mind if your a close friend or you ask first tho!

He also 100% has echolalia!! (Repeating quotes)

Some of his favourites are “dall-e!” “To infinity and beyond!” And things like that!!

He also LOVES auditory stims. Music, asmr etc. And then with that, he does lil dances!! Not big ones, just lil sways and things like that.

It’s also canon he’s into smell stims. In the 80s episode with the scented markers!

there’s this shop in the Uk called smiggle which sells kawaii scented markers. They don’t sell them in america, but brett 100% got them on eBay or smth, and keeps them on his desk!

OH <33 AND WHEN HE SQIEEZED THE EARTH STRESS BALL THIS MAN CANONICALLY STIMS

AND HE JUDT LOVES TO BE TOUCHED AND CUDDLED AAH <33

In conclusion, this man loves to stim all the time.

reagan

unlike brett, she still suppresses her stims and is really shy about them. although rand obviously didn’t understand how they actually helped her focus so he never let them stim

she was so damn shy about them as a kid :( she only really was able to stim in her bedroom and even then she was so self conscious

orrin helped her embrace her stims but obviously she can’t remember that. But orrin is autistic too and they’d have lil stim sessions together in between sessions at school. orrin was diagnosed so he had more resources! but sadly his parents didn’t rlly care about him so him and reagan learned about autism together!

speaking of, that’s the reason why reagan is so reluctant about autism. she realised she matched up with all the traits, she told rand, but he shut her down saying that she’s “too smart to be autistic” (which isn’t true btw!!)

but back to stimming, I feel like reagan would really enjoy smelling essential oils. not ones that smell so strong they give yoy a headache, ones that have a nice smell that’s not too faint and not too strong. ones like maybe lavender, ylang ylang and the like.

she also likes fidget toys! but more small/discreet ones, like bicycle chains, slap bands etc

we know she hates hugs, but she melts when people ask her for a hug, and mostly accepts it when she’s asked.

she also has this.. one song she listens to on repeat? idk what it is, but anytime she gets over stimulated, she listens to it.

popping bubble wrap also helps when she’s stressed!! she likes textile stims a lot.

she struggles a lot with hygiene but when she does wash, she feels extremely claustrophobic in showers so she tends to take baths. but if the water is anything under burning, she gets extremly overstimulated.

when brett sees her stimming, she’s so scared, but brett reassures her it’s okay and that he stims too!!

that’s kind of what started her unmasking journey.

she’s still struggling a lot, and rarely stims but she’s doing so well! and brett and the others are so proud of her

I hope you guys enjoyed!! This was a shit ton of self inserting lol

#inside job #reagan ridley #andre lee #brett hand #gigi thompson #magic myc #glenn dolphman #inside job reagan #inside job brett #autistic reagan ridley #autistic brett hand #orrin carthwait #rand ridley #fuck rand ridley #autism #autistic #stim #autism headcanon #stimming headcanons #stim toys #gravity falls #rick and morty #ur fave #comfort character #jr scheimpough #breagan #rick Sanchez #grunkle stan #alpha beta #robotus

[beskad]

.

i cannot take this i’m so tired and so chronically sick and in so much pain all the time.

i asked the group chat if friend 1 or 2 were able to take my 5 hr shift tonight bc i’m trying to save my one call-out a month that i allow myself for next saturday - which i only have to do because friend 2 is having a bday thing that was supposed to be fri. april 12, and i don’t work my 2nd job on fridays so it was fine. but friend 1 GOT THE DATE WRONG and now we have to change the friend 2 bday celebration date from friday april 12 to to saturday april 13 to accommodate friend 1. which means now i have use my mental health call out day to instead call out for an 8hr saturday shift because she requested off the wrong day and doesn’t want to call off for her 5 hr friday night shift.

i digress

i mentioned, once they both said sorry they’re also already scheduled tonight so they can’t take my shift (which is fine), that I hope the store isn’t scheduling me 18 hrs again on this schedule being posted today bc i’m much too sick to be doing 60 hr weeks these days and that’s why my max hours in the system are set to 10

and friend 2 had the audacity to all-caps yell in the chat “SAY SOMETHING TO SOMEONE” (which, bc i know her, i know the tone and that tone is annoyance/exasperation). and like, I HAVE said things to management, i’ve had a half dozen chats with HR about my scheduling and they both know that??

i’ve taken shifts for both friend 1 and friend 2 in the last 2 weeks because they weren’t feeling well. friend 2 is on corrective action for her numerous call outs because she’s too stressed to come to work so she just doesn’t. so like. don’t fucking yell at me?????? i work more than both of them and i’m STILL the one making the accommodations here (taking shifts, allowing myself to be the one forced to call out of work due to friend 1’s wrong day off request etc)

i’m already tired and overworked and very sick (a flare up of a chronic and incurable illness is absolutely sapping my strength and tanking my immune system so now i’m getting a cold)

and now my feelings are hurt and i’m agitated and liable to pick a fight with the next person to say something that comes across wrong

#ray.txt #personal life ranting #i’m so tired #and this is only about the PHYSICAL tiredness #don’t even talk to me about the ptsd episode on sunday i’ll fucking cry

[anx1oustig3r]

idk if this counts as chronic pain or what but im hoping to maybe reach out to anyone where this would sound remotely familiar and maybe if they have advice or hell just,,, a bit of solidarity

i have been dealing with upper arm/ bicep/ shoulder/ i don’t even fucking know where pain going on four years now. and when i say pain, i mean PAIN. at one point i reached up to grab something that was falling, y’know as reflexes tell me to do and i shit you not i screamed. right now im having a flare up so bad that even an idle twitch in my right arm has me biting back shrieks. i wouldn’t say i have a high pain tolerance, but i’ve had both top surgery and a broken bone and i can say this pain hurts 20x more than those did.

wanna know the weirdest part? the severity is on a schedule. i can wake up feeling totally fine and thinking “oh hey! the pain is gone” and then at 6.00pm on the dot here comes the pain train and all of a sudden i can’t move the affected arm.

things can definitely effect it, i have no doubt this recent flare up was triggered by the couple hours where i had used my tablet, and todays agony was not helped by my working on 3D, but i can go a few weeks up to a couple months without a flare up and during that time nothing effects it.

my current record of no pain at all being 4 months. it doesn’t matter if i rest it or am active and stretching it, if the pain is going to come it will come. i have tried exercising, painkillers and anti inflammatories and none of these are working. the gp was stumped. i’ve had tests done and nothing has come back. the only source i can think of is stress

i’m writing this bc im fucking exhausted. im exhausted of being in agony all the time. this reallt fucking sucks.

#chronic pain #arm pain

[idyllic-affections]

omg hello!! I love your content so so much, I want to give you a hug irl but l'lI settle for sending one into your inbox 🫂

just wanted to drop some ideas I had in here. feel free to use them, mix and match em, tweak them, or just keep them as food for thought, idk:

-have you ever written big sibling! reader? I don't remember seeing it. anyways sumeru gang are my little guys and I would kill for them. (I have a primal urge to take care of kaveh and alhaitham.)

it would be fun to see a hurt/comfort scenario where big sib!reader feels guilty that they can't take care of their younger sibling like they should due to chronic illness flaring up or something similar, but their sibling feels happy that they get to return the favor

-found family!reader with sibling/family trauma learning to trust again

-also, a question: do you write for autistic readers and/or characters (totally get it if you don’t)?

I’m talking about alhaitham specifically bc he is so coded.. imagine the relief of being in an academy chock full of neurotypical people, the stress of conforming to academic standards, and then seeing someone’s little signs and being like !!! !!!!!! you are like me !!!!!!!!

-or OR: an akademic reader with any sort of learning disability. alhaitham wouldn’t give a singular shit if someone was discriminatory torwards him. but the second it’s you??? pray for the poor soul. (the rest of the sumeru gang would also absolutely riot. ofc.)

(think of that one scene in spyxfamily where anya gets insulted by a teacher and lloyd just wants to swing at him so bad but obliterates the coffee table instead.)

-reader coming out as trans? makeover montage ensues. (I’m in love with makeover montages)

kaveh and Lisa come to mind first cause they’d have a FIELD DAY getting gender affirming clothes with you

-the collei & ex-fatui!reader has been on my mind bc. bc like. imagine being raised in arlechinno’s orphanage, groomed and primed to be a soldier since birth. and meeting someone, who has a similar story, but on the other side of the narrative???

you’re both victims of the fatui but one of you has been forced into the role of the villain and the other the victim ????? do you see my vision here ??????

the pain of your past being brought up, of everyone you love seeing you as a monster, believing yourself to be a monster when you’re as much of a victim as anyone else hurt by the fatui? thinking it’s your fault when it wasn’t? Augh .

Uh. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. anyways ty again have a nice day!!

thank you awawa hugs are always welcome even if they are virtual 🫶💕💖💗💘

i always welcome these kinds of asks! i genuinely adore long asks filled with random thoughts <3

more under the cut.

(1) you know, i don't think i've done much for older sibling!reader, actually. the closest thing to it is my xiao x dendro yaksha!reader brainrot. i do a lot of younger sibling!reader content mostly because i myself am a younger sibling, but also because a lot of older siblings seem to want to know what it's like being the youngest. i definitely plan on writing more older sibling!reader content soon though.

(2) this is a concept i'm quite partial to. i like the idea of working through family trauma by recovering in a found family. to be simple and straightforward, i personally have had to work through immediate family-related trauma, and i often do it through my writing. it's a good, harmless way to work through my own feelings c: if you have any particular thoughts about this trope, feel free to send them to me!

(3) YES GOD YES i love writing for neurodivergent!character and/or neurodivergent!reader. alhaitham is always supposed to be viewed as autistic in my content. i've never touched on it yet, so i guess that's more autistic-coded? but nonetheless, he is not meant to be seen as neurotypical in ANY of my content at all. i have adhd-c myself, so i literally write from a neurodivergent lens, and i grew up surrounded by autistic people and other adhders. my favorite cousin is autistic. my second favorite is an adhder. my younger godbrother is definitely neurodivergent, but he isn't diagnosed yet. my mom's definitely got undiagnosed adhd. safe to say, i grew up surrounded by neurodivergency, so i'm happy to write it and am relatively comfortable doing so!

(4) THIS WAS ME GROWING UP FR i needed someone like alhaitham!!! i love this idea. i'm taking it and running with it. it is going into my drafts now. alhaitham would be very protective of a neurodivergent scholar reader imo (is this wishful thinking? who knows AKSJAJAGHF)

btw i know exactly what scene you're talking about even though i've never seen nor read spyxfamily aksjwkgjfh.... it has always intrigued me and i plan on reading the manga soon!

(5) REAL AND TRUE as a trans person myself, all of my content is actually directed at other trans folks. i don't care if cis people read it, of course; it's just that my target audience is trans people (specifically non-binary folk). kaveh and lisa would be SOOO thrilled to give you a lil makeover!!! i think they both have very good fashion senses so they'll definitely help you get good gender-affirming clothing <3

(6) so for a little more context (without spoiling too much hehe), the collei x ex-fatui agent reader details the story of how one of dottore's lab assistants effectively betrayed the fatui, forsook the tsaritsa, and basically said "fuck it" and helped all of dottore's test subjects escape. i would LOVE, however, to write a fic from this perspective--imagine being raised in the house of hearth by arlecchino, groomed to be the perfect, mindlessly obedient weapon of war that the fatui needs, while believing that betraying the fatui is the ultimate form of treason punishable by a fate worse than death... and then leaving the fatui regardless after meeting collei for the first time and trying to recover from all that trauma and desensitization. i think this version gives off collei x older sibling figure!reader vibes.... they could be a lil found family <3 btw anon i hope you know this idea is ALSO going into my drafts hehe

#aphelion replies 🌸 #i love long asks. please send them more often 🙏