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dextervoid · 9 months

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Dexter Void's Top 100 Films

I’d never claim to know anything about moviemaking, and the history of cinema, or even behold an in-depth knowledge of directors and actors, let along reel off well-known quotes. So, taking an intuitive approach to my favourites, this list of top 100 films is often based on the emotional states encountered when viewing them, as well as a vision of what’s technically impressive. And in undertaking something like this, it’s more-so interesting to unravel the characteristics of the self. In no way a movie-buff, it was still difficult to sift through the favourites oscillating in the mind and finally settle on the final 100. You can be captivated by film, but they also place the viewer within a memory or scenario, something that holds dear to the heart, and therefore encases it in place. And once you have the list, what do you do with it? It seemed like I had to prove why, and so a reasoning needed to be presented. There’s likely to be spoilers here, as well as agreements and/or debates, but I encourage everyone to create one. There can’t be a wrong answer if you think intensely enough about it. I therefore hope you enjoy interpreting my top 100 films.

RATCATCHER

Lynne Ramsay, 1999, UK

You’d be forgiven for thinking not much actually happens during this sensitive gritty drama. It is, however, a beautiful debut by Lynne Ramsay, its refinement woven into the simplicity of its characters’ lives and surroundings. There’s a plain darkness scurrying underneath; Glasgow as industrial landscape, the canal as a dangerous entity and the binmen strike of the late ‘70s. We see young lad, James retreating into a world of confusion and curiosity, as he can only hope of a new life in a newly developed part of the city. His day-to-day existence is wistfully coerced and entangled by a crowd of odd locals and hostile environments. His imagination and aspiration, dashed against his own anguish and despair, take him to a place only he can truly fathom.

William Eadie as young lad James in Ratcatcher

ORLANDO

Sally Potter, 1992, UK

This stately and often insightful historical account of England confused me for many years, my naïve mind not fully able to grasp, or follow the fantastical story. Eventually, its intricacies entranced my brain chasm; a sheer elegance found in Tilda Swinton marching headstrong through the various eras. These are well portrayed and historically detailed, at least to my eye, while she dazzles and transforms through each classical period to the next, leading a story of many layers. The soundtrack equally envelops my nimble frame in sheer mystique, while we experience Quentin Crisp as Queen Elizabeth I and Jimmy Somerville as a celestial chanteuse, pouring a non-binary serenade to an early ‘90s house beat. It all unfolds as a melting pot of abstract and noble plight.

Tilda Swinton as one of the reinventions of Orlando

ZATOICHI

Takeshi Kitano, 2003, Japan

A reimagined story about a blind swordsman, told uniquely by Takeshi Kitano. Where previous films focused on featuring extended bursts of violence, revenge and blood in a more modern context, the nineteenth century feudal setting for the samurai-cum-masseuse brings acts of redemption, vengeance and ironic humour to the table. A riveting soundtrack propels us forward, revealing not only the story itself, but also bringing to life your own prefabricated dreams and desires.

Takeshi Kitano directs and stars as Zatoichi, the blind swordsman

DEATH BECOMES HER

Robert Zemeckis, 1992, USA

Seeing this black comedy as a kid, I was engrossed by the hilarity of two feisty women (Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep) battling it out to cause as much damage and harm as possible with no success. All manner of special FX enables them to contort and distort their newly everlasting bodies to amusing repercussions. All the while, a perplexed Bruce Willis merely looks on. As a grown-up, the film now unravels so many sociological ideas and theories around greed, narcissism and vanity. The desperation for immortality and one's legacy envelops the aura of this picture. This all somehow makes it a shrewd observation, underpinned by much slapstick and screwball.

Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep as immortal beings in Death Becomes Her

ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER

Pedro Almodóvar, 1999, Spain

Almodóvar deserves a place on a film list. His stories and direction are exuberant, full of life, colour and passion. I simply adore how All About My Mother is melodramatic with a huge heart, with a cast of characters to match. Bold and knee-deep in depth, their hardships captivate the audience, and all with a firm ironic nod to the 1950 classic, All About Eve starring Bette Davis.

Cecilia Roth standing aside a poster of Marisa Paredes in All About My Mother

I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE

Jacques Tourneur, 1943, USA

The West Indies backdrop to this mysterious B-movie weaves an opaque, if not feverish impression. Its title is somewhat misleading and not the ‘zombies’ we’d typically imagine. Transported to the Caribbean, the determination of nurse Betsy Connell is steadfast as she tries to seek answers and remedies from a so-called witchdoctor, something of intrinsic folklore. The wonderful use of shadows and lighting create an eerie landscape, while the deployment of silence along creaky verandas, dark hallways and blustery crop fields keep the viewer engaged. We feel the loss and grief of the interwoven characters, while distant voodoo rhythms and whispers of superstition make for an unsettling environment, perfectly matching the tension that’s unable to hide from the lustrous moonlight.

'Zombie' Christine Gordon with Francis Dee & Tom Conway in I Walked with a Zombie

GHOST WORLD

Terry Zwigoff, 2001, USA

It perfectly captures many things; the pressure of youth, and the confusion that comes from being a misfit, not to mention the boredom of smalltown life. Outsider Enid sure does relish in the cynicism of everything that obeys the patriarchy, but it’s fascinating to watch her carve out her place in the world. The film touches on the inevitable passage of drifting apart and the excitement of meeting someone new, the trappings of being a nerd and the absolute hypocrisy of others. At the end of all this discovery, what do we have to show for it? You eventually must tread your own path.

Scarlett Johansson and Thora Birch in Ghost World

SECRETS & LIES

Mike Leigh, 1996, UK

Mike Leigh is a wonderful filmmaker and likely one of my favourites. With Secrets & Lies, he illustrates a delicate story and processes it in a complex family system via gritty drama. It’s full of, well, secrets and lies. It delves even deeper into your soul with characters who are honest and simple, full of their hidden pain and anguish, all-the-while projecting back our own doubts or feelings. It’s something Leigh does entirely well and is all the more heartfelt for it.

Marianne Jean-Baptiste and Brenda Blethyn in Secrets & Lies

LA REINE MARGOT

Patrice Chéreau, 1994, France

Striding ahead, not leaving me enough time to catch my breath, this opulent epic flourishes in its own gore and violence. We witness a loveless royal marriage, the decadence of sixteenth century France and the impending combat between Protestants and Catholics in the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre. The fast-paced story unfurls a complex narrative of deceit, unions and passion, encroaching briskly to finally imbue its own blood. The percussion-based and droning string-led Medieval style soundtrack simply thrives, especially in the wild boar chase, all helping elevate the darkly humorous tale of lust, deception, revenge and its so-called allies.

Daniel Auteuil and Isabelle Adjani in La Reine Margot

#10

DOLLS

Takeshi Kitano, 2002, Japan

A second movie by Kitano in my top ten; Dolls seems to represent a translucent trio of human emotion, interwoven with, at times, an overbearing abstract demeanour. The striking costumes, landscapes and seasons that adorn the three sections can veer into overblown romanticism, with the viewer requiring a patient manner. But your gesture of poise is well rewarded, as we gracefully shuffle along with the bound lovers, overlapped by other love stories. This all serves to intensify our own accounts of grief, sadness and obsession with a tender eye that pays a wholehearted tribute to Japanese Bunraku puppet theatre.

Hidetoshi Nishijima and Miho Kanno as bound lovers in Dolls

#11

THE LADY EVE

Preston Sturges, 1941, USA

It’s worth noting that certain pictures from the 1930s-1950s have had an impact early on, instilling a viewpoint outlining the key components that make up a film. The Lady Eve is full-on screwball tomfoolery, hilarious one-liners and observations, all steered by the marvellous Barbara Stanwyck. It’s a riotous gallop of deceit and fraud, which interferes with, and plays havoc with the naïve, yet loveable gestures offered from Henry Ford. Taking place partly on a cruise liner, we also travel by overnight train where the antics only blossom further when the headstrong Stanwyck reinvents herself as an English aristocrat. The dinner party scene is unforgettable!

#12

MOROCCO

Josef von Sternberg, 1930, USA

Marlene Dietrich is something of an enigma. She dazzled me from a young age, and Morocco was an early viewing that started a spellbinding journey. The mysterious setting flits around human emotion and its quest for true love. Experimental lighting and camerawork are on display here, and we have the eye-pleasing Gary Cooper as the Légionnaire Dietrich craves. All-the-while, her fabulous and often gender-bending ceremony at the nightclub lures us into a world of unknowns. We react to the sentiments throughout, all building to a brooding bar scene, its piano dirge willing us on to join her at the film’s hushed and plaintive finale.

#13

BORN YESTERDAY

George Cukor, 1950, USA

It’s engrossing to witness a brash tycoon hiring a well-educated journalist, who’s only remit is to teach a so-called dumb blonde mistress and make her seem more appealing and presentable to important folks. We witness her brush-up on etiquette, culture and American history, which is why it’s funny to see the original intention fail. The Oscar winning performance by Judy Holliday is deserved, even if she is playing a feisty, irritable character, you’re rooting for her all the way as she sheds her boisterous and rough around the edges persona.

#14

SLEEPING BEAUTY

Clyde Geronimi, 1959, USA

This could be considered an odd Disney choice on the list, especially when the studio produced classics such as Dumbo, Pinocchio and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. What I love about Sleeping Beauty is its angular animation motif and slightly darker tinted colour palette, backed by the astounding Tchaikovsky score. It dissolves some of the regular Disney cuteness and more-so brings sheer horror to the medieval table, and to me, also feels like a farewell to the 1950s. Maleficent is depicted as truly evil, and her gothic Forbidden Mountain only enriches the mystery. There is light relief in the form of three good fairies, and it’s somewhat amusing how aloof Aurora and Prince Philip seem to be. Even more comical is the sheer shock from the aristocracy at the thought of him wanting to marry ‘a peasant girl’.

#15

SUNSET BLVD

Billy Wilder, 1950, USA

This darkly humorous and satirical look at Hollywood as an industry and its supposed has-beens certainly feels like a scathing attack on the studios that birthed them. Documenting the mere descent of a faded silent film star into insanity, played superbly by Gloria Swansons, it cleverly captures that desperation to be an immortal glowing icon. Rather exceptional considering Swanson herself was from the silent era, while it also features cameos from other silent luminaries including Buster Keaton and Anna Q. Nilsson. It has a fiery, sordid eye looking down on us with comical, if not reproachful one-liners concerning the state of the current film industry, as well as bygone glory days. You can also read much into it from a modern context; our throwaway society and obsession with maintaining youth, the desperation clinging to an omnipotent plain.

#16

CABARET

Bob Fosse, 1972, USA

The escapades and frolics of Sally Bowels remain in your tortured soul and brings a dose of longing to the somewhat fancy-free times it portrays. Berlin at the onset and gradual rise of Nazi Germany is startling against the backdrop of the 1930s. It explores offbeat flapper girl-types, styles and idioms, all wrenched with a sort of seedy psycho-sexual prowess shimmying with oddball reprobates, their quirkiness free and easy. Joel Gray as Master of Ceremonies is fabulous in an untouchable sculpture-like way, as is Liza Minelli as Ms Sally Bowles in a role that seemed to be made for her. Musicals aren’t entirely my thing (and downright rubbish in my opinion), yet Cabaret features gut-wrenching timeless songs with an equal level of humour, soul and yearning. Bob Fosse’s choreography is rowdy, inventive and gaudy, all in the gender-bending style of 1930s swing and chanson mimicking that of the seedy underbelly of an abstract Kit Kat Klub. This is something he explored in his previous picture Sweet Charity, but with the added rise and sobering integration of the Nazi’s in Cabaret, we have a more thought-provoking outcome.

#17

THE PIANO

Jane Campion, 1993, New Zealand

There are two striking components to this tale of loss and obsession; a lush and vibrantly moist landscape around a painstakingly pertinent costume drama which transcends beyond that of others. With unbudging characters, the gothic-drenched romance has a burden as heavy and unwieldly as the grand piano isolated on the beach. The muted lead of Ada McGrath communicates not only through sign, signal, and notetaking, but through the piano itself; an overbearing hulk of a figure that often yields heart-wrenching conclusions. Along with it, the Michael Nyman score leads us gallantly through the New Zealand wilderness with an equally obsessive eye.

#18

THE LITTLE MERMAID

Ron Clements and John Musker, 1989, USA

A second Disney choice here is from the contemporary era, dating back to when the studio more-or-less kickstarted their renaissance, and guided them through the ‘90s and beyond, thus rejuvenating the corporation after some stagnant years in the wilderness. Based on the Hans Christian Anderson fairytale, The Little Mermaid features outlandish, larger-than-life characters, a blend of brilliant songs and gleaming aquatic animation. The adventure glides along on a riveting underwater current of straightforward storytelling, never shying away from a charming sense of humour or darker depths of despair.

#19

THE WIZARD OF OZ

Victor Fleming, 1939, USA

Undoubtedly on many movie lists; a poignant ode to childhood and uncomplicated fantasy which only develops your melancholic gears as you grow older. Guaranteed to bring me to tears every time, yet I question why? In a modern context, it’s nostalgia for a dreamworld that embraces a sumptuous colour palette after so much sepia, all of which is further enhanced by flamboyant and vulnerable characters, sing-along tunes and a yearning for something you can’t quite comprehend.

Charles Coburn, Barbara Stanwyck and Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve

#20

MANHATTAN MURDER MYSTERY

Woody Allen, 1993, USA

A riotous crime-solving excursion carried out by Woody Allen and Diane Keaton. They perfectly bounce off one another while they attempt to unravel and piece together a mosaic of strange goings-on and mysterious incidences, all in a hilariously slapdash way. With many gags along the way, Allen offers viewers just a pinch of insight into what’s happening as we try to keep up with their haphazard detective work, culminating in a delightfully perfectly imperfect choreographed tape machine manipulation. You might not perceive any bold statements, but it does lure viewers into a rather inquisitive journey, keeping you on the edge of your seat.

#21

HEAVENLY CREATURES

Peter Jackson, 1994, New Zealand

Based on the true story of two inseparable girls, who form a close friendship and consciously decide to commit murder when forced apart. The adaptation is devastating in its subtlety, interspersed with gallant fantasy worlds from the viewpoint of a young mind when presented with an inaccessible, and out of reach worldview. This is brilliantly emphasised by the slightly claustrophobic social setting of 1950s New Zealand, and lead actors Melanie Lynskey and Kate Winslet, in her debut role, offering their off-kilter and oddball personas with a captivating charm. Watching the friendship grow as an outsider brings forth the voyeur in you, and the heartbreak felt on both sides towards the films climax is none other than disturbing.

#22

THE PIANO TEACHER

Michael Haneke , 2001, France

Precisely what is deep-rooted within the disposition of the main character in The Piano Teacher is one that can trouble you, or is it a reflection of the faults you see in yourself? Played exquisitely by Isabelle Huppert, her psycho-sexual prowess and bizarre way of thinking erupts throughout and results in a desperate plea mired in transgression.

#23

THE CIRCLE

Jafar Panahi, 2000, Iran

It’s easy for me to speak highly of how The Circle is an exemplary modern-day account depicting the oppression women face in Iran. But watching a late night showing on Channel 4 in the early 2000s with no expectation as to what it was about threw me off guard. In fact, it was broadcast as a double bill with another Iranian film, possibly by Panahi. I don’t recall the name, but it was a primitive shot of a conversation in a cable car. Back to The Circle, we’re fully devoted to the women we traipse behind and feel fully engaged with the difficulties they face, thus going full circle, as it were, only to arrive back where we started. It’s a powerful message.

#24

AMÉLIE

Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 2001, France

One of those films where every little detail seems meticulously thought out and executed with effortless grace yet runs seamlessly from scene to scene. It can attempt to be too kooky at times, but the bountiful tale of intriguing romance and a colour scheme to match harnesses my attention. With the aim of secretly bringing joy to the people around her, it has a unique feelgood factor usually missing from similar comedies. Amélie is more rooted in humanism than the directors previous work, which includes the excellent Delicatessen and overtly industrial The City of Lost Children, and it seems to take rapturous delight in knowing this. With musical accompaniment from Yann Tiersen to help elevate the comic strip style skits and distinctive humour, we grow to be far-more concerned with the fate of our do-gooder.

#25

SIDEWAYS

Alexander Payne, 2004, USA

A movie that doesn’t get old. The cynical and wry ‘I told-you-so' style comedy of errors still resonates today and more-so feels like a coming of ‘middle-age’ movie. The friendship between the leads, Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church is a poignant one as they both slip into trouble on their vineyard, wine tasting and golfing road trip. The film reflects charmingly upon the mistakes, regrets and missed chances one encounters in life.

#26

DISHONORED

Josef von Sternberg, 1931, USA

My first Marlene Dietrich film, a subtle and suave picture that’s surely underestimated. With a nonchalant and suggestive demeanour, agent X-27 is deadly serious and beautiful when it comes to spying on those Russians. Its many exciting scenes flaunt the screen; a fantastical masque ball, a deceitfully dim-witted milk maid pursuit and ultimately the beautiful agent's final condemnation.

#27

SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

Fred Schepisi, 1993, USA

“Chaos, control, chaos, control” tears through this slapstick tale of tomfoolery and imposter satire. The ever-present metropolitan skyline of early ‘90s New York heaves to a revolving cast of characters. Cantankerous trust-fund brats of the affluent, confused art dealers, and college misfits collide frantically, duped by a young Will Smith, who misleads beautifully in a conniving sphere of innocence. Simply controlled chaotically.

#28

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

David Frankel, 2006, USA

A go-to hangover film. It always makes me laugh and feel a little bit hopeful, which seems rather gooey of me! Meryl Streep as editor of leading fashion magazine, Runway is startling, if only for her unbelievable demands and emotional detachment to the people around her. Anne Hathaway is all eager-eyes and transformative sprite in the world of fashion, leaving desperate Emily Blunt a nervous wreck. Despite a rather maudlin boyfriend character and slops of mush towards the end, it otherwise serves as a nice way of dipping your toe into an unforgiving industry – a scene involving a cerulean sweater is delightfully comical and unnerving. No doubt a crowd-pleaser and a so-called chick-flick (a genre term I’m not fond of), it smoothly immerses us in the preposterous domain of fashion, publishing and all that vacuous pizzazz.

#29

ALL ABOUT EVE

Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1950, USA

With many memorable lines and scenes fraught with tensions that sizzle around an abundant cast, we act as a spectator to a shy understudy, slyly navigating their way into the lives of top Broadway stars and industry people, manipulating her ascent. Superbly played out, we contemplate themes of longevity, legacy, youth and hypocrisy, all swimming in a pool of narcissism. Bette Davis runs amok in a whirlwind of frantic composure, her close allies around her aiming to ease the ego with charm and confusion. You better believe it when Margo Channing defiantly intones, “Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night”.

Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada

#30

CARNIVAL OF SOULS

Herk Harvey, 1962, USA

Perhaps one reason I’m drawn to this film is due to the title being immortalised by not just one, but two of my favourite bands. Birmingham’s Pram match organ-driven dub pulsations to lyrics interpreting the mysterious dance sequences and alluring spooky painted faces, whilst Rhode Island's Combustible Edison create a haunting atmosphere of Wurlitzer melodies that probe the mind echoing a similar sound heard in the film. A warped emotion that descends the staircase of your mind into a state of unconscious. What we have is a rather simple B-movie horror that fancies playing on the psychological side of our neurosis with melodramatic effect. The unsure and confused car casualty, played by Candace Hilligoss, drifting as a waif-like somnambulist through a world now not her own is delightfully unearthly.

#31

MANHATTAN

Woody Allen, 1979, USA

As a viewer, I wonder if this serves as social commentary, celebrating New York life, and the many expressions and struggles we endure. It pursues a thoughtful glimpse at the way friendships and relationships blossom, only to become strained while existing within the confines of a contemporary twentieth century. Shot in the fast-paced and ironic way Woody Allen is accustomed to, these characters are full of life, bursting with energy and philosophies all at once, which ultimately might just be their undoing. Woody Allen and Diane Keaton bounce off one another again perfectly and are effortlessly well placed in this romantic vision of the Big Apple.

#32

FASTER PUSSYCAT… KILL! KILL!

Russ Meyer, 1965, USA

Probably the only Russ Meyer film I can stand to sit through. However, it is a B-movie classic and a good exercise in exploitation. Located in a sort of bumfuck nowhere, (or the middle of the Californian desert to be more precise), the fierce trio of bad-ass go-go girls get their kicks out of drag racing and generally wreaking havoc as brassy and brazen nomads. Along the way, Tura Satana, Haji and Lori Williams kill a jock, kidnap a sap and infiltrate a hick’s farmhouse in the hope of laundering his millions of cash dollars. The acting is big and over the top, the many one-liners ricochet in-and-out of sexual innuendos, as their schemes dart around like the testosterone of the hick’s hulky dimwit son.

#33

THRONE OF BLOOD

Akira Kurosawa, 1957, Japan

One of my early adventures into Japanese cinema courtesy of my brother, undoubtedly fuelled by a teenage obsession with all things from the land of the rising sun. Masterminded by mood maestro Akira Kurosawa, his reimaging of William Shakespeare’s Macbeth in a Shogun-era, Feudal state of Japan is spellbinding. The eerie castle atmosphere and landscape draws you in, gloomily clinging to you much like the dense forest and torrential downpours the unforgiving fortress submits. The imperial gestures, grand battles and delectable Japanese etiquette give way to a yarn-spinning sorceress who prophesises a divine climb, and in due course, detrimental downfall.

#34

BULLETS OVER BROADWAY

Woody Allen, 1994, USA

It was difficult to decide the placement of my three chosen Woody Allen films, I enjoy them quite equally. This is an absolute triumph though, and hilariously shows off the farcical nature of theatre in all its manifestations. From casting, rehearsals, drawbacks and setbacks, the characters self-absorbed pretence right from the get-go to the final performance is a whole other drama unto itself.

#35

KING KONG

Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack, 1933, USA

An early childhood memory, subsequently embedded as a key favourite, the adventure story takes us from the misty and smog-filled harbour of New York City to exotic islands where the giant ape roams as a gated mystical godlike figure. The haunting score, superb camera work and animatronic beasts collide in what is a technical marvel for the time. An eerie, trance-like lurch permeates throughout, and when we eventually return to the glitz of all-consuming Manhattan, a thrilling finale ensues and sees Carl Denham starkly concluding “It wasn't the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast”.

#36

THE DRAUGHTSMAN’S CONTRACT

Peter Greenaway, 1982, UK

Set pieces galore, overt costuming and a grand location litters the atmosphere in this seemingly low-key, dialogue heavy, sexual satire, poking fun at the aristocracy. Saddled with a strident and morosely ironic Michael Nyman composition, the draughtsman in question beautifully attempts to map out the estate grounds, greeting mysterious encounters along the way. It’s not entirely clear what the meaning may be, but repeated viewings help unravel more than we realise.

#37

SOME LIKE IT HOT

Billy Wilder, 1959, USA

A stupendous tour de force in the art of farce and comedy with Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis dragging it up in style whilst on the run. The frolics continue with a wonderous Marilyn Monroe as the love interest. Wilder gave cinemagoers some tremendous pictures over his illustrious career, with Some Like It Hot shoving its way to the forefront with clever storytelling, goofy fun, and important themes and ideas boldly explored for its time.

#38

AUTUMN SONATA

Ingmar Bergman, 1978, Sweden

A tender and revelatory meeting between mother and daughter, wrought with family truths, ties and personal wrongdoings. For the most part, the reflective dialogue transposes during the early hours of the morning, encased in an oppressive light and heavy atmosphere, the viewer attempts to alleviate the often-uncomfortable situation. Having not seen many Bergman films (apart from the often ridiculed The Seventh Seal or whimsical Wild Strawberries), this could be viewed as an odd choice, and perhaps won’t suit many. Think of it as looking into your own soul, your grievances and astute sentiments projected onto the characters themselves, hopeful of laying indifferences to rest.

#39

SHALLOW GRAVE

Danny Boyle, 1994, UK

I enjoy the dark and cynical route this black comedy takes; from the ominous obsession slowly eating away and absorbing the characters, tearing them apart. It’s a venomous neurosis which creeps meticulously into their behaviour. The gory-tinged horror embellishes and encroaches around the large apartment, which is utilised here well enough to become a character all its own, thus witnessing the final undoing of the dislocated pals.

Toshiro Mifune and Isuzu Yamada in Throne of Blood

#40

BRASSED OFF

Mark Herman, 1996, UK

One of those northern working-class comedies, very much in line with The Full Monty and Billy Elliott, that cheekily blows its own horn and stands out for depicting community and an eagerness to achieve in the face of adversity. With the local coal mine due to close, it signals the death bell for the colliery brass band. So, the miners and their dedicated band leader, played attentively by Pete Postlethwaite, steam ahead with practice for a national competition, while the members lives become intertwined and complicated. Full of foolhardy fun and pensive observations and introspections, it seems to me it achieves a well-thought meaning that one shouldn’t give up, no matter what obstacles we face. Along with all of this, the traditional songs and original score starkly resonate honesty and pride to boot!

#41

GAS FOOD LODGING

Allison Anders, 1992, USA

A lovely oddball of a picture, where I feel like a hanger-on to the daily lives of three women living in a trailer park in a New Mexico town. There’s something genuinely woven into the simplicity of their surroundings and an abiding yearning for something else. In this case, love, or at least figuring out your place in the world. Characters are portrayed unassumingly without veering into cliché or irritation. The film deserves your patience as we observe and grapple with the pressure of youth, midlife disillusion, mixed messages and confused confrontations, with the ever-present longing of escaping a deadbeat town. These resonate from start to finish.

#42

THOSE WHO LOVE ME CAN TAKE THE TRAIN

Patrice Chéreau, 1998, France

For me, the first half of Patrice Chéreau’s follow-up to La Reine Margot can induce motion sickness! Taking place on a train from Paris to Limoges, a motley group of individuals embark on a journey of self-discovery and revelatory perceptions of one another, whom all claim to have known a recently deceased artist, who’s funeral they’re roving towards. There are dramas en route, many of these waifs and oddballs determined and self-indulged behaviour revealing a multitude of aspects we name grief. Whether they’re genuine or not, remains to be seen. Yet, despite their disparate connections, they gel together well. The film is helped by fast-paced scenes and an artfully directed cord tangling it together in one interesting cluster, not only on the train, but also within the giant cemetery and at the artists bohemian house for the wake.

#43

RED DUST

Victor Fleming, 1932, USA

Jean Harlow shines in this somewhat simple and aloof romance concerning a rubber plantation owner and the trouble he finds himself in with his mistress. Harlow brings a feisty and zippy-like liveliness to proceedings, as Clark Gable does his darndest to nullify her, locking horns in a befuddled way. The Indonesian setting infuses with Oriental eloquence, the oppressive heat layering a veil of earth and soil over the sexual tension.

#44

WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

Pedro Almodóvar, 1988, Spain

One of Almodóvar’s more satirical (at least to me) films captures all his usual intricacies and characteristics; fast moving sentimentality, vibrant sets and locations, madcap characters, and major doses of regret and heartbreak. Featuring the fabulous ‘mambo taxi’, we witness the outrageous happenings played out in front of us. This is all induced by a scorching Spanish heat and temperament, playfully scattered around Almodóvar’s obsession with the art of cinema-making itself.

#45

TOGETHER

Lukas Moodysson, 2000, Sweden

Lukas Moodysson does such a good job of recreating the 1970s, you can easily be misled to believe this was indeed filmed during that period. The characters are depicted and played accurately with a sensitive sheen of Swedish melodrama. The troubles and issues (as well as frolics) one can expect from living in a hippie commune are presented very naturally. No matter how trivial they may seem, it raises questions about how we are as a society and our small place within it.

#46

LES DIABOLIQUES

Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1955, France

At the time of release, cinemagoers may have been horrified by the cunning events depicted on screen. As time progresses, attitudes towards violence and murder change, evident from its classification downgrading from 18 to a 12 the last time I checked. Anyhow, as a viewer, I allow myself to be drawn into its twisted web of tricks and deceit played out by the vampish and shrewd Simone Signoret along with the timid, nervy Véra Clouzot. The queasy air of unease is something one should be shrouded in as it builds towards an unsuspecting climax of twists and turns.

#47

A FOREIGN AFFAIR

Billy Wilder, 1948, USA

A later film starring Marlene Dietrich whereby she isn’t the leading lady but very much dominates with her presence. That’s not to take away from the splendid performance by Jean Arthur, who does a fabulous job of portraying a prim and proper congresswoman, who is out to do away with immoral and subversive behaviours lurking in the underbelly of post-war Berlin. The scenes at the nightclub are raucous, where mistress Dietrich sings Black Market. There’s a sense of humour pulling at the films cord, while footage of a ruined Berlin is startling bleak.

#48

ROPE

Alfred Hitchcock, 1948, USA

With so many incredible Hitchcock films to choose from and digest, Rope is the one that left a stain on my mind. Maybe it’s the simplicity; one apartment, a revolving array of characters, and absorbing dialogue that brings various theories and philosophies to the table. The suspense is thrilling throughout, as we speculate whether the trunk, now being used as a buffet table will be opened or not.

#49

PECKER

John Waters, 1998, USA

I’ve attempted to whittle down my selection of John Waters films and found myself returning to Pecker more often than others. His early films, whilst subversive and completely uncompromising, give me a headache, quite literally and I emerge perplexed from some sort of discarded husk. His films from the later part of the ‘80s and into the ‘90s are much easier to take. Pecker comprises Waters ingenious and perceptive wit for trash in a more watered-down sense, all-the-while painting a rather odd depiction of Baltimore life and its residents, the main subject matter for the budding photographer Pecker.

Chihiro voiced by Deveigh Chase in Spirited Away

#50

SPIRITED AWAY

Hayao Miyazaki, 2001, Japan

Being a teenager when this Japanese anime was first released, it now takes on the nostalgia-induced cliché/coma that comes with so-called childhood memories, but Spirited Away is justified in that respect. It’s strikingly beautiful; from the intricate animation and colours to an exuberant potpourri of fantastical characters, overly sentimental and gallant sounds, interspersed with truly grotesque and terrifying depictions of human emotion and imagination. The Japanese and English language versions both emit the same soul, designating equal charm whichever way you experience it; a testament to the genuine magic and fantasy. Other titles from Studio Ghibli before and after are lovely but nothing compares to Hayao Miyazaki’s sublime and wonderful Spirited Away.

#51

ANOTHER YEAR

Mike Leigh, 2010, UK

Mike Leigh is likely to be high on the list of favourite film makers for many. For me, he sparks a sense of sentimentality and anxiety-ridden realism in my aorta chambers. There’s an essence of kitchen-sink drama-like qualities to his work too, a bit like the sensitive anguish we get with Ken Loach (Kes, Poor Cow, The Wind That Shakes the Barley), yet less forced perhaps. Another Year finds Leigh analysing the psyche of the human spirit by those comfortable enough to help others. Split across the seasons, it delves deep into various types of characters, family members and friends, exploring troubles with heartachingly tenderness. Ruth Sheen and Jim Broadbent are wholly believable as the offbeat straight-talking and caring couple, Sheen’s character acting as a diligent matriarch, although she allows space for her acquaintances to reel in their own misgivings and apprehensions.

#52

BELLE DU JOUR

Luis Buñuel, 1967, France

A glimpse into the daily life of a bored bourgeois housewife, this Buñuel picture contains a burning sense of desire that resides inside, waiting for some sort of emancipation. Catherine Deneuve approaches the part with both a nimble directness and gentle aloofness, not without a glint of wide-eyed naivety in her eye. Coming from a well-established avant-garde director, the metaphors are sure to make me think what exactly this all means, but it’s surely an exhilarating trip.

#53

SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

Jonathan Demme, 1991, USA

The horror genre isn’t one I completely go for in cinema; perhaps being drawn to the more psychological and fancifully manipulative films are what pique my disillusion. These are very much welcome. This psycho-horror genuinely spreads a chill through my feeble frame. The eerie opening lays an ominous tone, and that encroaching feeling lurches throughout the entire picture. The mind of its killer, Buffalo Bill crawls into your thinking, as does that of detective Clarice Starling, played effortlessly by Jodie Foster. A terrifying night vision scene ensues towards the finale, requiring us to lift ourselves out of the dumps of a dank and dangerous place.

#54

STRAY DOG

Akira Kurosawa, 1949, Japan

The oppressive Tokyo summer heat always felt like an overarching character in Kurosawa’s gangster crime thriller. With his often-cast main man, Toshirô Mifune scrabbles around the darker and undesirable parts of town in search of his stolen pistol, the heat sweltering and intensifying as the story progresses. What’s beautiful about the film is the way our inexperienced detective slowly learns more about his own work when directly impacted by a crime.

#55

THE BIRDCAGE

Mike Nichols, 1996, USA

An up-to-date rework of the classic La Cage aux Folles, faithfully depicted, and perhaps taken even further on screen by Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. I love the way it lures me in with the lounge revival and tiki exotica backdrop of the 1990s and its fabulously glitzy hijinks of cabaret nightlife, succinctly pouting at you. With laughs and much camp mischief to be had, the heart of what family means is unveiled with nuances of acute generosity.

#56

PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK

Peter Weir, 1975, Australia

The sense of loss paired with what we’d consider a conspiracy theory-like disappearance is brimming with boarding school innocence and sexual tension, made incredibly more difficult by the strict Victorian setting in the Australian outback. There’s something strangely supernatural swimming, almost floating between the rocky landscape and naturally formed columns. It’s almost gut-wrenching to witness the downfall of the matriarchal boarding house mistress, serving as a sort of profound metaphor about the unravelling of our own perceptions of people and the human condition.

#57

PRIVATE PARTS

Betty Thomas, 1997, USA

The life and times of Howard Stern are played out by himself in true-to-life lurid fashion, and even if you don’t know much about the outrageous U.S. national radio show presenter, just be thankful that his story is told. Fascinating to watch his rise from smalltown radio show host to mega personality, observing the ways he broke barriers and crossed boundaries in mainstream, corporate MOR America, all with tongue firmly in (ass) cheek notoriety.

#58

HAIRSPRAY

John Waters, 1988, USA

Following his early films of pure gross-out and bile contaminated hilarity, John Waters 1988 commercially viable Hairspray has all the right components, welding together a sardonic look at the faults of the 1960s, all purposely wrapped up in family fun viewing. The cast is brilliant, firm Waters favourites Divine and Mink Stole revolve around Ricki Lake, Deborah Harry, Sonny Bono and Ruth Brown as the zany Motormouth Maybelle, who assuredly has some of the most memorable lines put to celluloid: “Papa Tooney. We've got a Looney” and “No matter what you've heard, we are gonna teach the white children how to do The Bird!”. Waters tackles the civil rights movement with dirty aplomb, poking fun at a white dominated society, as well as the ludicrous age of teenage youth with utter wry mockery.

#59

THE ELEPHANT MAN

David Lynch, 1980, USA

I thought it might be a tricky decision choosing which Lynch film(s) would feature here, but then it became apparent it wasn’t so. His movies are great exercises in otherworldly dreamlike realms but for me can be too all consuming and bloated in pretentious soup. Whether it be the insanely complex Mullholland Drive, endless Inland Empire, convoluted Lost Highway, or regrettably irritating Eraserhead, they all seem slightly devoid of the sincere emotion I seek. Yet, this is where The Elephant Man trudges in. Shot in beautiful black and white, the dreamy trance-like pace and atmosphere only adds to the refined tenderness revealed from the so-called ‘monster’. It’s gut-wrenching to watch as he’s burdened by the harsh Victorian society around him, and the corruption inflicted upon our apprehensive protagonist.

Roaming the mysterious Australian landscape in Picnic at Hanging Rock

#60

A TASTE OF HONEY

Tony Richardson, 1961, UK

A rather gritty and grubby adaptation of the Shelagh Delaney play depicting British life in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s. When transferred to screen, it might well play on and pigeonhole certain types of people, yet manages to capture working-class lives with simplicity, as well as the situations communities faced at the time. Catfights and squabbles between the mother, played incredibly convincingly by Dora Bryan and daughter Rita Tushingham, are slightly unnerving and uncomfortable, while the film gives weight to so-called outcasts; Paul Danquah as its black sailor and Murray Melvin as closeted homosexual. Tony Richardson’s direction circles a sense of longing and dread to proceedings, especially potent in a patriarchal, white-straight man dominated society.

#61

MESHES OF THE AFTERNOON

Maya Deren and Alexander Hammid, 1943, USA

A short avant-garde collection of dream state imagery to confuse and befuddle the mind. What it means exactly is up to you, but you must allow yourself to be immersed in the deep chasm of unrealities and esoteric abandonment.

#62

DANCER IN THE DARK

Lars von Trier, 2000, Denmark

There was only ever going to be one Lars von Trier film on the list, and obviously because it features Björk in the lead role. The story is like a knot of nerves, slowly unravelling as tragic melodrama, all interspersed with musical numbers based on musique concrète, otherwise reflecting the drab surroundings Björk’s character, Selma, finds herself in. These act as pure escapism and pays homage to musicals while being rather anti-musical, dispelling traditional conventions entirely. It adheres to the Dogme ‘95 concept, which you could say was better utilised in films such as Breaking The Waves or Festen, but it still trickles through here notwithstanding. The first time I watched Dancer In The Dark, I’d only recently discovered Björk, so inevitably bawled my eyes out over the adversities Selma was placed in. Even though a lengthy watch with jerky camerawork, I still believe the film is great, discarding the clichéd predictions of Hollywood, yet adoring the classic musicals of the silver screen at the same time, whilst serving bold manipulation. I’m just not entirely sure what Von Trier was attempting to say about our harsh society.

#63

AUGUST 32ND ON EARTH

Denis Villeneuve, 1998, Canada

This French-Canadian indie really took me by surprise. It involves a somewhat bizarre plot based around its main character, played by Pascale Bussières, wanting to have a baby with her friend, spurred on by surviving a car accident. Something like a wake-up call, or a last chance? Even stranger is the desire to conceive in the salt desert of Utah. Despite the selfishness of the main character, this curious story kept me on a hook, mainly to see where it would lead next. That would be a rendezvous in a weird mini pod, all futuristic techno oddness, drunken and revelatory and sees the pair questioning their kinship. This all seems a million miles away from Villeneuve’s later films; Arrival, Blade Runner 2049 and the Dune remake!

#64

BRIEF ENCOUNTER

David Lean, 1945, UK

A rather sentimental British film by my standards, but it manages to tap into a yearning and sense of adventure that we as people somehow unwittingly lose being part of the system. Propelled by the intensity of Rachmaninov, the train station setting and a very English post-war rebuild, the understated demeanour is concealed in wonderment.

#65

A PORTUGUESA

Rita Azevedo Gomes, 2018, Portugal

An extremely minimal film, certainly in terms of dialogue, but what it lacks in script, makes up for in grand and controlled theatrical gestures. Every detail feels painstakingly accurate and abundant, so much so, I put my trust in there being no historical inaccuracies to otherwise demystify the experience. The viewer does require patience, as each scene is framed to be some sort of artistic masterpiece - this involves very little panning shots or camera movement whatsoever, from what I remember. It’s a triumph of photography and cinematography, yet one I feel will be largely ignored.

#66

VERONIKA VOSS

Rainer Werner Fassbinder, 1982, Germany

Obsession and narcotics liquefy in this dreamscape by Rainer Werner Fassbinder. His films all have heart and soul, and even though Veronika Voss herself is rather loathsome, perhaps we should understand it’s the system and omnipresent machine we’re sucked into that’s at fault. With a haunting soundtrack swaying among the trauma of our morphine dependent recluse, and desperate washout, one gets the sense her ongoing issues are building to a downward crescendo.

#67

INNOCENCE

Lucile Hadzihalilovic, 2004, France

Within the same stylistic vein as Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s Amélie or Delicatessen, this eerie, slow-burning horror is saturated in opulent green and red pigmentation, and innocently treads a path depicting the upward development of youth and the inevitable journey into the real world. The sumptuous and peculiar imagery of a tucked away boarding house and quietly vicious superiority from its pupils is uniquely frightful. As they clamber towards their debut, it’s even more intriguing when considering the darker undertones of its two dejected and repressed mademoiselles. It all makes sense when the dark fairytale is over, and the final allegory is a reflection on the very loss of innocence.

#68

OFFSIDE

Jafar Panahi, 2006, Iran

I didn’t think a film about football could sneak into my list, but here we have a triumph at showing the struggle women in Iran face. The majority of scenes are shot, quite literally offside where female football fans are penned in after being discovered illegally watching the game within the stadium. It has that guerilla style of filming throughout, and we hear from different types of women, ignored and dismissed by bumbling security guards and officials. With a celebratory, and slightly sentimental finish, we’re merely left to contemplate.

#69

PERSONAL SERVICES

Terry Jones, 1987, UK

I weirdly love how this film portrays a grimy London, a sooty-laced air imbued with a strained and rigid seediness that’s all very English. The settings and locations are dreary, and dull, but awash with a diverse array of sexual taboos and kinks. The film acts as an exploration on the rise of Cynthia Payne, brothel hostess and sometime dominatrix, all overlaid with dark humour and hijinks, and played by Julie Walters superbly. It’s also a nice partner film to Wish You Were Here from the same year, based on the childhood of Cynthia Payne (both films feature David Leland as writer) and are well-worth a watch.

Björk in Dancer in the Dark

#70

THE FULL MONTY

Peter Cattaneo, 1997, UK

Without really meaning to, I automatically lump this together with other working-class films set in the north, such as Brassed Off and Billy Elliott. These films are full of antics and cheeky comedy, clenched teeth and a genuine heart. They also act as a nice distraction, if not amusing counterpart to the realism served by the likes of Mike Leigh and Ken Loach. What we get with The Full Monty is a jubilant look at the will of the human spirit when challenged. In this case, we witness a bunch of unemployed steel workers dealing with their immediate situation in the best way they know how, and what better way to do this than put on a striptease act. It touches on what it means for self-respect and their awareness of it. There’s laughs to be had amongst the day-to-day strife's, but their unwavering ambition remains the same.

#71

JURASSIC PARK

Steven Spielberg, 1993, USA

Including this adventure classic on the list might be considered an obvious choice and it can veer into camp parody at times. But with so many memories ingrained since childhood, how could it not be added? It has all the components you need for an action-fantasy adventure, aging rather well in the process. It strangely has heart too, as we witness a crestfallen Richard Attenborough, but the dynamic trio in the form of Sam Neil, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum lead the charge on a rescue mission. The film paces along perfectly, building plot pieces that lead to high intensity action complete with impressive dino-CGI and animatronics, as well as the all-important magic only Spielberg can conjure.

#72

CARRIE

Brian De Palma, 1976, USA

The horrors of coming of age and secondary school are enough to instil panic and anger in large doses. Enduring such memories alongside Carrie, who summons frightful telekinesis and the paranormal, immediately puts me on her side in. The film itself straddles elements of goofy comedy, classic horror manipulations, maniacal religious overtones, and lastly, delightful repercussions in a riotous bloodbath. I’m a regular schadenfreude.

#73

FESTEN

Thomas Vinterberg, 1998, Denmark

Underlying traumas and deep-rooted psychosis unearth and uproot themselves in this Dogme ’95 drama of intertwined family rifts and power dynamics. The unadulterated style of realism delivered through imposing camerawork is awkward, muddy and unnerving. With revelations slowly stirring in the strangely cramped castle setting, the troublesome dinner builds to a provocative nail-biting finale.

#74

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

Michel Gondry, 2004, USA

The innate possibilities and yearning etched into celluloid here is what captures the imagination; a glimpse at realigning the human memory or evading it shall we say. But can you imagine that possibility; the chance to block out unwanted trauma or mistakes, dalliances or disputes, the chance to delete certain aspects of one's life, much to the dismay of others. Michel Gondry uses his inventive vision to create illusion and uncertainty, sometimes heartwarming and sometimes scary. It’s not surprising of me to feature the director due to his work on eight Björk music videos, his collaborative work with the singer always spellbinding. The synergy Gondry utilises with Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Elijah Wood and Kirsten Dunst is marvellous here too, each of them fantastic in their roles. He aims to push the limits with subtlety and poignancy in a swirl of odd strangeness.

#75

THE WATERMELON WOMAN

Cheryl Dunye, 1996, USA

Inescapably ‘90s in overall look and ambiance, The Watermelon Woman tackles subjects concerning perceptions of race, history, queerness and portrayals of people with a divine lo-fi resonance. It did a very convincing job of fooling me into thinking Dunye’s research into the typecast ‘Mammy’ of 1930s Hollywood was entirely real, all punctuated with her day-to-day life at the video store she works at and her continued search for a girlfriend.

#76

MON ONCLE

Jacques Tati, 1958, France

Something of a unique picture as we traverse the odd day-to-day happenings of an angular and sparse French home, complete with vibrant and colourful architecture, 1950s wacky and modernist appliances and the off-kilter airs-and-graces of a seasoned middle-class couple. Much tomfoolery is to be had at the factory and trips to an unconventional rickety house in town, it’s all tied together by snippets of bungling dialogue and well-choreographed fanciful movements that are entirely sweet and charming.

#77

HIGH HOPES

Mike Leigh, 1988, UK

Fascinating to see parts of old Kings Cross in the late ‘80s, and even more fascinating to try and understand the many close to the bone subjects Leigh aimed to illustrate here; class, wealth, socio-economic status, the patriarchy and the sheer drudgery of existence in a political landscape of Tory oppressed Britain. Played out over a constant dirge of cello, harpsichord and double bass, that’s either mournful or spritely depending on the mood, it raises more questions upon repeated viewings. It’s similar in style to Leigh’s subsequent films, Life Is Sweet and Naked, although less good-natured or preachy, and we’re left to wallow in a dread that seeps into the fabric of our being. I begin to wonder why such a cognitive demanding and traumatic look of the world could end up on my list, but it’s essential viewing for a perspective, and as the Marxist-leaning son Cyril states mid-film “It’s a different world now”, begging the question, what can we change?

#78

TRAINSPOTTING

Danny Boyle, 1996, UK

Following on from the murky grit of Shallow Grave, Danny Boyles Trainspotting pushes the horror even further. With an unabashed soundtrack matching the ongoing ecstasy and disregard for human existence, the implosion of the kaleidoscopic cast grips you in its defiled veins.

#79

MRS. DOUBTFIRE

Chris Columbus, 1993, USA

Robin Williams is somehow at his most outrageous here, his wacky nature tailored to fit the frumpy, but seasoned and respectable drag/ cross dresser persona of Mrs. Doubtfire. It treads a rather routine and corny ‘90s family film path, and at times overdoses with mushy sentimentality and messages about parenthood and responsibility. But there are many laughs and gags to be had along the way, with Williams the star of the show in a sea of dowdy characters - the restaurant scene towards the finale is a frenzied, chaotic and slapdash stroke of genius that’s full of character.

Scarlett Johansson in Under The Skin

#80

UNDER THE SKIN

Jonathan Glazer, 2013, UK

An eerily lustful concoction with an irresistible sound motif. It lures the viewer into something that seems to signify a new-age style of sci-fi and horror; intelligent sci-fi cinema but without any overlong grand statements? Under The Skin urges us to question our principles about human sexual nature, morality and our molecular place in the universe. The otherworldly alien, played subtly by Scarlett Johansson juxtaposed against the Scottish landscape and city, as well as some unusual guerrilla filming are all brilliant choices and resonate coldly in a sea of despondency and confusion.

#81

THE CREMATOR

Juraj Herz, 1969, Czechoslovakia

There’s a dark sense of humour pumping through the veins of this black comedy. Framed shots and cinematography are perceived as 1930s expressionism; precise angles and wide-open views of the crematorium, inside and out. The candid and somewhat gruff proclamations from the cremator himself, an antagonist played creepily by Rudolf Hrusínský are darkly twisted, as his obsession with death and murdering his family seep into the membrane. The discordant atmosphere and jarring imagery slowly trickle free, leaving what can only be understood as symbolism pertaining the onset of the Nazis.

#82

BOYS ON THE SIDE

Herbert Ross, 1995, USA

The road trip movie is a fun journey to embark on, especially with strong-willed women, no matter what triumphs, mishaps or dilemmas they unwittingly find themselves in. Despite her stellar performances in Sister Act, Ghost and Jumpin’ Jack Flash, Whoopi Goldberg is pretty much flawless here as the assured head-strong lesbian singer, whilst Drew Barrymore plays the rebellious gal rather convincingly. Both of whom join Mary-Louise Parker’s character on the move to California. The film plays around with the notion of sisterhood, approaching it with a tenderness and spontaneity which is heartwarming but not excessively comfortable in its pulpy mulch. It builds to a charming, if sombre finish and one that I wasn’t quite expecting.

#83

BUGSY MALONE

Alan Parker, 1976, USA

Other childhood favourites of this ilk can easily dissolve. Yet, Bugsy Malone is one that doesn’t, undoubtedly due to the speakeasy setting of the ‘30s, gangster mobs using cream-like substances to gun enemies down, and more importantly, an excellent set of memorable songs. The child-only actors are cast well, none of them overplayed or obnoxious. I might consider it a worthy contender as one of the best musicals, simply because the songs don’t irritate, and the story retains a sense of humour. As a spoof of old gangster films, the pie fight finale is a humdinger and gives way to a well-meaning merge of two opposing sides.

#84

BEING JOHN MALKOVICH

Spike Jonze, 1999, USA

Indeed, it’s a secret portal from the seventh and a half floor of a dreary office that leads to the mind of John Malkovich? This beguiling picture dissects obsession and identity considerably candidly, but mainly it injects a hefty dose for the bizarre into our bloodstreams.

#85

MURIEL’S WEDDING

P.J. Hogan, 1994, Australia

Although messy and farfetched in places, the Australian sense of humour is the winning formula here. With an ABBA soundtrack offering Muriel an escape to realise her dreams, it’s an offbeat romantic comedy with a hollow heart, although it does capture the essence of being a misfit, whether you’re a rebel or bit of a birdbrain. The pairing of Toni Collette and spiky Rachel Griffiths as pals with a tempestuous relationship works incredibly well and sees us through to the end.

#86

CLOUD ATLAS

Tom Tykwer, Lana Wachowski and Lilly Wachowski, 2012, Germany

The high-octane ride of Cloud Atlas leaves an undeniable aura of melancholy over my rumination. Its six stories are beautifully interwoven by the three directors, perfectly utilising the talents of its cast in dual roles spanning the hundreds of years it resides. There’s an abundance of harrowing emotions dispatched across these eras, and although not without a sense of humour along the way, its finale is a glimmer of hope in what is already considered to be a post-apocalyptic and uneasy dystopia.

#87

THE MIST

Frank Darabont, 2007, USA

Adapted from the Stephen King novel, this is an interesting take on the horror sci-fi genre, its impending sense of doom obscured by a peculiar mist. When the locals become trapped in a minimarket, caged by their own fears and hardships, you intensely feel the inevitable cabin fever settling in and the subsequent division between a community dealing with their fate. The viewers own understanding is also shrouded in mist, and the film inquisitively taunts with creatures, supposedly unleashed by a government facility experiment gone wrong. All very B-moviesque and dipped in conspiracy. The bone-chilling use of ‘The Host of Seraphim’ by Dead Can Dance is a concluding factor placing it on this list.

#88

THE FALL

Tarsem Singh, 2006, USA

Simply put, it’s a magical escape into the mind of a child’s viewpoint when the tales of a wounded stuntman are relayed to her from a hospital ward in the 1920s. The imagery is vibrant and colourful, dripping in opulence with a delightful enthusiasm trickling phantasmagorical-like from country to country and from each heroic character to the next. With an innocent vision from the child, her storyteller is equally affected by his much-desired morphine reliance to help fuel his disheartened disposition.

#89

RAN

Akira Kurosawa, 1985, Japan

A film from Kurosawa later in his career, it brings to life all the similar themes and ideas of samurais and warlords expressed previously in his 1940s-1960s epics, but with Ran, we have the added essence of these stories in bright, Technicolor-like opulence. Returning again to William Shakespeare, Kurosawa tackles King Lear and creates a tragedy all his own. Outstanding performances abound, and huge bouts of violence circle around instinctual notions of revenge, treachery and power.

Halle Berry and Keith David in Cloud Atlas

#90

WHITE MATERIAL

Claire Denis, 2009, France

The resilience and stubborn nature of Isabelle Huppert’s character in White Material is a strange one. The ominous onset of an uprising in an unnamed African French territory is ever-present and broods, no doubt on racial injustices and conflict. It makes for an unnerving and weighty, if not social-philosophical viewing, as she fights to maintain her coffee crop and manage the breakdown of her profession, business and family.

#91

THE GREEN RAY

Éric Rohmer, 1986, France

One of my more recent discoveries, the French directors work seems based purely on the whims and charms of human characteristics. Just check Rohmer’s Autumn Tale and A Tale of Springtime for deeds of curiosity and soul stirring sincerity. The Green Ray is an equally reserved story of relatable proportions, and one that flashes upon thine eye. The solo holiday is presented naturally, locking in those awkward moments when you play hanger-on, or are simply unsure of your place. The vague and disparate connections Delphine feels, played effortlessly by Marie Rivière, are applied with almost organic, and spontaneous finesse. This is fleeting, as optimism for romance hangs in the air and when we finally get there, the meaning behind the film title is eloquently given, if only for a split second.

#92

MORVERN CALLAR

Lynne Ramsay, 2002, UK

Following her debut Ratcatcher, Lynne Ramsey caringly guides characters in this adaption of Alan Warner’s novel. There’s a realism to the Scottish landscape and town, whether it be the supermarket Morvern works in, or an eerie party on a nearby Scottish isle, and not forgetting the insane hacking up of her dead boyfriend in the flat. These are all skilfully depicted to make us feel like imposters. The unworldly aura of Morvern’s straightforward life turned upside down is strikingly likable. After all, her boyfriend has just killed himself, so you can accept her naïvely altering his unpublished novel and passing it off as her own. A trip to the highlands to be rid of the remains is like horror-noir, while a later trip to Ibiza offers some relief; the shambolic and grief-stricken mind of Morvern issuing herself some much need catharsis.

#93

STRICTLY BALLROOM

Baz Luhrmann, 1992, Australia

Depicting the usual fare of lovable bogans from the same white trash barrel we see in other ‘90s Aussie hits (Muriel’s Wedding and The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert), we’re treated to a hilarious shimmy of dance routines, camp comedy, and heated disagreements. Let’s not forget the impassioned romance too, as essentially, we’re anchored in a love story here. It’s one Baz Luhrmann manages to enthusiastically tell, evading the clichéd pitfalls usually associated with the subject. The terribly desperate Australian Pan Pacific Championships are fraught when upended by Scott and Fran’s fierce and fervid Paso Doble, greatly piling on the ironic humour to the max. It’s a shame many of Luhrmann’s other films don’t bear the same results.

#94

THE LOVE WITCH

Anna Biller, 2016, USA

An entirely refreshing take on witchcraft; one that is grandiosely camp and a feminist ode to love. Backed by gentle harp plucks, we traipse through foliage, Victorian tearooms and elaborate set pieces serving as an enigmatic triptych. Our witch dabbles in anthropology using an assortment of apparatus and instruments, fusing potions made from herbs, menstruation pads and piss to cast spells, perfectly embellishing the vampy costumes and pagan symbolism. But we find our witch in a quandary from loving too much. The acting is crystallised, all clear and precise, slowly drawing on B-movie exaggeration, while locations are pure daydreams from a Technicolor phantoscope.

#95

THE PLAYER

Robert Altman, 1992, USA

From the drawn-out opening scene that eerily pans across a movie studio offices and parking lot, it ambiguously outlines a clear atmosphere. We act as peeping Tom to daily routines, goings-on, eager pitches and curious hate mail, and we get the idea that Hollywood is not all it seems. The film has an ominous layer of (star)dust thinly veiled over satirical proceedings, paying homage to classic Hollywood, film noir in particular. The studio executive is expertly ‘played’ by a crafty and shrewd Tim Robbins, and whence taking a darker turn, the satire doesn’t let up. Neither does our voyeurism as a shifty Lyle Lovett and hilarious Whoopi Goldberg play upon one another as an amusing detective duo. Full of star cameos, unique cinema references and perfectly framed shots, it’s a sinister glance into the cutthroat world of Hollywood itself, the lampooning rolling until the very end.

#96

LILYA 4-EVER

Lukas Moodysson, 2002, Sweden

Moodysson’s light-hearted and funny coming of age film, Show Me Love and the even funnier commune dwelling Together focused on the humility of people trying to simply get along in the disparate locales they found themselves. The devasting Lilya 4-Ever broke this run of breezy films abruptly, tackling the hard-hitting subject of sex trafficking. By starting in an unnamed area of the Soviet Union, we act as distressed bystanders to the mother abandoning her daughter, and the false hope granted to Lilya from a stranger with the promise a new life in Sweden. It’s heart-breaking to see the awful conditions and situations she finds herself, antagonising at such injustices. The only saving grace is her friendship with suicidal 13-year-old Volodja, who has a presence in her life, even after he’s gone.

#97

LENINGRAD COWBOYS GO AMERICA

Aki Kaurismäki, 1989, Finland

We venture into the strangely strange here, but all with a firm tongue-in-cheek, although it sometimes doesn’t seem that way. We embark on a road trip with the Finnish klezmer music group and attempt to withstand their eccentric look and quirky sound to match. We follow their dim-witted bravado with an open heart as they try to make it or break it in corporate America, and then Mexico, observing an assortment of perceptions from folks along the way.

The Leningrad Cowboys on the road in Leningrad Cowboys Go America

#98

UN CHIEN ANDALOU

Luis Buñuel, 1929, France

An early surrealist short depicting the unconscious state a human mind can reach. The imagery is hypnotic, striking and bizarre. We onlook symbolism ranging from the slitting of an eye amidst roaming night-time clouds, an invasion of ants and strange dalliances in almost every corner of this dream realm, all backed by decidedly French musique. What can we expect when the screenplay was written by Salvador Dalí. None of it particularly makes sense, but to find any meaning would be missing the point.

#99

SECRET BALLOT

Babak Payami, 2001, Iran

From the opening shot of a ballot box landing in an unknown province of the middle east, we’re set-up for a film that’s as minimal as the vast landscape the registrar traverses in order to collect votes. Accompanied by a stringent, and often bewildered solider, who doesn’t seem to have much going on up top, it’s interesting to see how he slowly gains respect for the tenacious official seeking ballots. Much of the footage of residents in the remote areas could be classed as documentary, but the statements concerning the validity of their votes, or that voting itself doesn’t bring about any change for them, are rather frank in honesty.

#100

CHESS OF THE WIND

Mohammad Reza Aslani, 1976, Iran

Closing on this list was a difficult task with a handful of movies bubbling under vying to take #100’s place. Yet, I’ve settled on an Iranian oddity from the ‘70s set in the 1920s which serves as a gothic horror that slowly percolates unease and impending dread. The film itself was apparently lost forever at the turn of the Iranian Revolution, presumably never to see the light of day again. The characters, locale settings, Persian interiors and objects are all given equal focus throughout the restored picture, and with an assortment of themes explored, it all builds to a frantic crescendo of retribution.

Fakhri Khorvash centre stage in Chess of the Wind

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halloweenhundreds · 7 months

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Hausu/House is a film everyone deserves to see. That rarest creature, a truly unique picture. Like if Dario Argento made Azumanga-Daioh. Few movies I’d rather get killed by a ghost in than this one.

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moe-broey · 7 months

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I ended up scrubbing my old Tomodachi Life file and playing it current day with all the personal developments is so insane. I have to play 4D gender chess just to have gay marriage. I'm demiaro/ace and romance makes me deeply uncomfortable for a variety of reasons but that is The Point like one of the funniest most major events to happen in the game. I have so much hatred for marriage as an institution esp as someone who's disabled but again. That is THE MAIN DRAW. To marry your favorite guy (in Mii form). I would never want children the idea is horrifyingly distressing to me I would be the worst father in the world but having Mii babies, again, is one of the funniest fucking things you can do in the game. Yes you can have universal birth control as an option but the Mii babies are SOOOO much funnier. I feel like there's a joke here about how playing as a mass murderer in a video game doesn't reflect who you are in real life but I just can't grasp it LMFAO

#tomodachi life #like is the joke unrealistic male fantasy bc that doesn't feel like that's it. that's more for when it reflects desires #even basic ones like having friends or like. owning a farm. which is less basic but same genre. almost.#LIKE OWNING YOUR OWN HOUSE!#IN THIS ECONOMY ‼️‼️‼️#there's something here though. marriage and offspring is equatable to video game violence.#tomodachi life is a horror comedy game. to me #THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE POLYAMORY.......#GOD WAIT EVEN WORSE THOUGH. the way i've come to gravitate more to family ties #and strong platonic bonds. my island was HELL at the very beginning bc more than half of everyone #was directly related. and you CAN'T EVEN MAKE CHARACTERS SIBLINGS....... you can only specify if #a mii is directly related to you the player. DEVASTATING ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#i gave the most siblings the same last names in hopes that does something internally in the game #but i say 'most' bc. fire emblem fates. NO accommodations for EXTREMELY COMPLICATED family dynamics 😤😭#where one person is related to two separate sides who aren't related to each other. and then thwre's your cousin.#GOD. so much hatred in the world for autistic bitches like me. 😔

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hotvintagepoll · 2 months

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Propaganda

Mbissine Thérèse Diop (Black Girl)—She’s a Senegalese actress known for starring in Black Girl, one of the first African films to receive international attention/acclaim. So much of the movie relies on her ability to convey her character��s sense of isolation/loneliness, she’s so amazing, I really wish she had acted more. However, she just recently appeared in the film Cuties!

Myrna Loy (The Thin Man, Manhattan Melodrama, Mr Blandings Builds his Dream House)—Started out a slinky silent screen vamp. Became a screwball lead who had a blast drinking, being married to William Powell, solving mysteries, and taking her dog everywhere in the Thin Man Movies. Broke our hearts in The Best Years of Our Lives and played a string of dream wives. Remained hot the entire time. Decades of hotness.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Mbissine Thérèse Diop:

Myrna Loy:

Myrna Loy excelled at playing coy women, so common in screwball comedies in the 40s. She batted her lashes, and shrugged with grace, and made her costars look like foolish heels next to her. She charmed with sneaky elegance, well-placed pouting, and repartee. Besides, she was sultry AF.

While Myrna certainly looked hot in some her earlier vampy exotic bad girl roles, I think shes hottest when her comedic chops got to be displayed. Her dry wit, comedic timing, and subtle facial expressions make her the queen of deadpan snark.

She's just very Mother

So beautiful and popular she was crowned Queen of the Movies in 1936, Myrna Loy was also an amazing actress. She's best remembered for The Thin Man and sequels, where she gets to show off her comedy skills, adding irresistible impish charm to her classic beauty and dancer's figure.

THE SASS

One of the few actresses who managed to successfully transition from silent to talkies, never won an Oscar but was at one time the highest paid woman in Hollywood. Advocated for better roles and pay for Black actors in the 1930s, so passionately anti-Nazi in the 40s she made Hitler's blacklist, spoke out against Joseph McCarthy during the Red Scare, and advocated for fair housing in the 1950s and 1960s, all while being hot as fuck opposite William Powell, Clark Gable, Cary Grant, Spencer Tracy and a whole galaxy of the Hot Vintage Men Poll all-stars.

Cute as a button with so much RIZZ! She and whatsisname in The Thin Man are relationship goals.

She was literally called the Queen of Hollywood! She is so sassy and funny in the whole Thin Man series. Absolutely hot in those, and who doesn’t love a woman who can laugh? She had the sultriest gaze and that style! Also before she was a star she sat as the model for an iconic statue for a school (representing “Fountain of Education”).

the glamour!! the banter!! the comedy!!

She's got this cute kinda scrunched up face AND shes funny AND shes got a bangin body.

#myrna loy #Mbissine Thérèse Diop #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 3

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haesunflower · 11 months

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zb1 to you being cute when they’re mad at you .....₊˚⊹♡

genre: fluff/comedy

pairing: reader (mostly gn) x zerobaseone

about/tags:

slight suggestive for jiwoong :D i can't help it sorry, yujin written in the context of friendship only

⠀⠀♡ kim jiwoong ♡ ⠀⠀

when he's mad he's not really vocal, rather he just sighs really loudly and walks with heavy footsteps

he's alone in the living room couch minding his business, really not in the mood to deal the problem rn

but you plop yourself on his lap, facing him as your hands snakes itself to rest on his chest, then to his neck

Is not making eye contact with you, he knows he’ll break. he’s supposed to be mad over the scratch on his car (!!)

true enough, he breaks after you lean down and whisper “sorry babe, you know i didn’t mean to. let me make it up to you, hmmm?”

and then you’re kissing his neck and jaw

long story short, he’s no longer mad

the lesson here is that seducing him works 😭

⠀⠀ ♡ zhang hao ♡ ⠀⠀

he’s giving you the (virtual) silent treatment after you said you weren’t able to watch the first zb1 live

you texted him saying you missed it because you couldn't get out of work, but he's not responding

you call him and he picks it up to let you explain, but doesn't say a word (yeah he's THAT petty he can give you the silent treatment in phone call format)

you've said sorry so so so many times and he eventually texts that he just needs time and space before talking to you again

and you're like "okay love, i'll just be waiting at home"

when he gets home he sees you cooked him dinner and prepped his favorite movie on the TV screen and gets so soft

he feels kinda bad that you felt the need to overcompensate for something you couldn't control (your terrible boss)

wraps his arms around you the moment you get home and you're so relieved

the stress from the day leaves his shoulders as he nuzzles his face into your hair and basks in your scent

⠀⠀ ♡ sung hanbin ♡ ⠀⠀

you guys got into an argument while you were on date, which is so rare

you decide to leave the cafe and just drive for a change in scenery

he's so serious, brows furrowed and hands gripping the wheel, he's also mumbling something to himself but you can't quite make out what he's saying

fed up, you go over to him and plant a quick kiss on his cheek

surprised by this, he 😳 and turns really red

he has to pull over because he can't focus anymore

"you can't just do that when i'm driving!" nags at you cutely, dimples showing and all

"you're not mad at me anymore, hanbin?"

"mad at you? i thought you were mad at me?"

you're both giggling because of the misunderstanding

in the end, you enjoy the sunset together by the hood of his car

⠀⠀ ♡ seok matthew ♡ ⠀⠀

for lack of better term, matthew is so "good" at staying mad at you

like internally, he's not mad anymore

externally, he will still keep up with the mad act

it's because he loves how you get so much cuter and lovelier around him in an attempt to gain his forgiveness

he sighs loudly, drags his footsteps, and leaves the room everytime you enter – he's making it known that he's still annoyed with you

but you kept following him around the house, trying to get him to talk to you "matt please can you just talk to me?"

he needed a dish washed? you got it. he needed his phone charger? you fetched it from the other room.

you’re literally clinging on to his arm now repeating things like “babe I’m so sorry” and “I’ll do anything you wantttt”

you’re swinging his arm back and forth, on the verge of tears when matthew decides to quit the act

he laughs and presses a kiss to your lips “you’re so cute sweetie”

⠀⠀ ♡ kim taerae ♡ ⠀⠀

the biggest difference is his demeanor towards you

usually a simp, but there's no more sweetness in his voice when he talks to you – even calls you by your government name when he needs to speak to you "y/n it's cold, turn the heat up"

is so deadpan with you it's...almost scary

you do everything he asks with no complaints whatsoever because it is YOUR fault

it's evening now, and the rain is getting louder, you're curled up with the duvet wrapped around you

when he reaches the bed, you ask "i know you're still mad but can i still sleep with you here tonight, i'm scared of the thunder" with the biggest doe eyes ever 🥺

and he's like?? why are you asking if you can sleep in your own bed?? it's yours??

even if he's "mad" he still wants to sleep next to you no matter what

feels kinda bad that you felt the need to ask him that question

"i'm not mad anymore angel" and envelopes you in a hug

⠀⠀♡ ricky ♡ ⠀⠀

this boy CAN and WILL be able to stay mad at you if he wants to

when Ricky starts acting cold, you genuinely do not know the reason why

since he wasn’t speaking to you :( talking to him was of no use :(

so you made a cute little “I’m sorry” card and you even decorated it with pink glitter and strawberry stickers

you slipped it under the bedroom door, where Ricky was icing you out

Ricky thinks it’s the cutest thing ever

he comes out of the room to find you in the kitchen, cleaning up all the mess you made to make his card

he doesn’t say anything, instead, helps you pack up (especially the pesky pink glitter)

when he’s done he tells you he liked it and that you’re forgiven

you jump at him and he catches you by your legs, hoisting you up as you’re kissing him mwah

⠀⠀♡ kim gyuvin ♡ ⠀⠀

I don’t even think he wants to be mad at you right now

he got over it in two seconds but likes to play fight with you...for fun

so when you attempt to cuddle up to him on the couch asking for forgiveness for forgetting to walk eumppappa he shields himself with the couch pillow

he places the barrier between you two and karate chops the air so you don't touch him (what a nerd...help)

so you just sit there and pout

and he looks at you pouting back

it's a pouting contest now

he gives up because you're so damn cute!!! next thing you know he's squishing your cheeks and doting on you about how cute his partner is

"i can never stay mad at this face, you're too cute baby!"

⠀⠀♡ park gunwook ♡ ⠀⠀

when you get into an argument (which you're both very good at btw) the both of you tend to have a hard time backing down

but it was a particularly long day for you and you didn't wanna argue at all so you just said "yeah yeah you're right, i'm wrong, so i'm sorry"

but gunwook isn't fully satisfied because you didn't even get to talk about the issue, just threw in the towel so quick for the sake of ending the discussion

he's about to say something

when he hears your restrained sniffles and sobs and he's thinking like 😧 why is my baby crying

a fun fact about gunwook: his weakness is your tears

"sorry wook, can we talk tomorrow please i'm too tired"

he looks at your red nose and tear filled eyes and thinks you look cute when you cry so he just cups your hands and kisses your nose fondly

"okay baby, we can talk tomorrow"

⠀⠀♡ han yujin ♡ ⠀⠀ (friendship)

zhang hao's son because like him, does not speak to you

when you show up to school with his BROKEN speaker he just takes it from your hands and walks away

literally doesn't speak to you the whole damn day

you show up to school the next day and place a milk carton and snacks on his table with a little note saying "sorry, yujin i'll be careful next time!!"

sits next to you at lunch and shares the snacks you got him

then pretends everything is normal

later that day, you found out from gunwook that the speaker was totally fixable and working again, so yujin just pretended to be mad to get some forgiveness snacks -_-

A/N: after 2 weeks...i'm back? haha

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

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wen-kexing-apologist · 24 days

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Episode 12: Doors!

And here we are at the end of the line. Thank you to all who continued to tag spoilers and shout out to those who were actually patient enough to wait week to week. I tried, but caved almost immediately, who would have guessed? (everyone. everyone guessed.)

I remember feeling strange watching this episode because I felt like tonally it was so off of everything else that we had been presented with. While there have always been comedic moments in the show, I felt like episode 12 really leaned in to the comedy in a way that was slightly jarring because they were still wrapping some things up. Just my opinion, I think what would have worked better for me structurally is if we took the medical stuff out, had Qian and Yuan kiss at the beginning of episode 11, Qian had balked, they have sex at the end of episode 11, and we open episode 12 with the morning after scene, and we move the time skip to when Lili gets pregnant so that isn’t twenty-three and having to give up her career ambitions. And then the more consistently comedic tone of episode 12 would have made more sense to me.

REGARDLESS, I did very much love how they handled the pregnancy reveal and the tension between the comedy and the sincerity in the scene. So I really want to talk about it.

Qian enters the house, announcing his presence and then stopping almost immediately in the doorway looking around in surprise because he very much did not expect the house to be dark and empty. He calls up the stairs after Yuan and Lili and remarks to himself “what’s going on? They asked me to get groceries.” and I do not think it is an accident that the way Qian enters and interacts with this empty space feels paternalistic, the parent calling up the stairs after their children in case they didn’t hear them the first time.

all gifs in this analysis done by the phenomenal, the talented @wanderlust-in-my-soul

He looks down at the table, and you can see the moment the sonogram photos catches his eye with the urgency in his movement to get all the bags he’s carrying off of him so he can pick the photo up. He studies the photo, and you can see the internal monologue on Chris’ face as Qian fully clues in to what he’s seeing and what it means. Mouth slightly agape, eyes slightly widening, but moving around in time with his thoughts. And initially I laughed at this moment because I thought that everyone knew Qian’s reaction would be rough and had fled the house to give him some time to cool off.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and heads up the stairs while dialing Yuan so that he’s killing two birds with one stone. It is notable to me, the decisions they make in the direction of this scene because despite Qian already having figured out that that sonogram is likely Lili’s, it is not Lili that he seeks out to deal with it. It is Yuan. Because when he heads up the stairs he’s also not walking up to Lili’s door, he stops and looks at Yuan’s.

But Lili is hiding in there, because misdirection to throw Qian off his rhythm seemed like the best way to interrupt any building emotions. Yuan hears Qian’s footsteps stop and comes out of Lili’s room before Qian has a chance to knock or flat out enter Yuan’s room. This is all around the strategic move. They are going to have to talk about it with Qian eventually, so it might as well be now, and Qian historically has a much different reaction to Yuan than he does with the rest of his little family, so they are sending in the big guns first, to try to get ahead of the reaction they expect from Qian. If Yuan knows and can calm him down, maybe the conversation will go a bit smoother.

I love that it cuts immediately to a shot of Lili pressed up against Yuan’s door, listening intently so she can analyze the situation and determine when it might be best to make her presence known. “Why were you in Xiao Bao’s room?” Lili hears Qian ask through the door. “What’s the meaning of this?” we cut back to the hallway, where Qian is, rather calmly showing the sonogram photo to Yuan.

So far, Qian is being quite cool about this. No big emotions, no yelling about the photo. Yuan sucks in a deep breath, as he prepares himself to deliver the news. “You saw it.” he says, as if this is something Qian stumbled upon rather than something they all intentionally left for him to find. “Well…” he tries, Yuan tries to start explaining, but there is some hesitation in his voice. Not out of fear, but just because he doesn’t quite have the right words to say what needs to be said. And he isn’t meeting Qian’s eye.

Lili steps out of Yuan’s room, before Yuan has a chance to get the words out. Which I appreciate, I don’t think Yuan should be the one to tell Qian that Lili is pregnant. Qian initially turns his head towards the movement and then as Lili steps out fully Qian slowly turns his entire body towards his sister, softening his body language as he goes. The hand holding the sonogram photo drops to his side, the hand holding his cellphone moves, fingers curled lightly, to put his phone in his pocket.

“You…you’re going to be an uncle.” Lili says in a quiet voice, and initially she cannot look at Qian. When she tries to start the sentence, she is looking at the ground, and it is only as she gets about halfway through the announcement that she finally casts her eyes upward to look at Qian. Neither Yuan nor Lili brave enough to Say The Thing aloud if they have to look at Qian, his presence is known but cannot be initially acknowledged if they are going to be brave enough to tell him this. They saw what happened when he found out San Pang was dating his sister, what would he do when he found out San Pang had gotten his little sister pregnant?

Qian casts his eyes downward, towards the photo in his hand, then back up and to the side, away from Lili’s face taking in a big breath and giving himself the time he needs to process his feelings and find the appropriate reaction. Because there is no way he doesn’t know why Yuan and Lili were afraid to tell him about this, and there is no way he wants to do that to his sister. Lili is dissociating a little bit, staring off into a middle ground, before she hands her head again. We see how tense Qian is in that moment, his back is ramrod straight, his hands are curled in to light fists, blinking a ton as he takes in a breath, Yuan in the background looks between his brother and his sister, holding his breath because he doesn’t know what is going to happen, and standing in such a way that he would actually be able to grab Qian before he could notice if needed.

And then he shakes his head, quieting all the parts of himself that want to be angry about this and his lips turn up in a tearful smile as he reaches out to pull his sister in to a hug. Yuan collapses against the wall with a huge sigh of relief. Over Lili’s shoulder we see Qian bite his lip like he’s trying not to cry as he slides a hand upward to cup Lili’s head, patting her. Lili closes her eyes in to the hug, and Qian doesn’t let go. Instead he deepens the hug by resting his head on her shoulder. And when he does let go he looks at her almost immediately and rubs her arms briefly trying to comfort her. Lili is already looking at him before he’s fully pulled back from the hug.

“Xiao Bao,” he begins and oh my god y’all Tammy is able to make the smallest little sound in the back of her throat as Lili’s response. That shit killed me, cause Lili knows she’s safe with her brothers there, but she’s still trying not to cry about the pregnancy news or about the gentle way that Qian is treating her here. “Let me ask you something. Are you ready for this?” his forehead knits together as he asks the question “huh?”

Lili feels so small the way that she nods her head and gives another little sound in agreement, she’s stopped looking at Qian again, casting her eyes downward.

“Have you thought this through?”

“Mm.” she confirms again, still not saying anything.

“Didn’t you want to be a model? What are you going to do about it if you have a baby?” and while Qian has been able to have a very successful career, it is the beginning of a reminder of Qian’s positionality in this story, Qian has given up a lot in or to care for his baby sister.

Lili does not give him an answer.

“Having a baby is not easy. It’s a lifetime commitment.” and this is where my heart started to twist, because this is Qian speaking from experience, as a child who took on too much responsibility far too early in his life. Qian for all intents and purposes was a teen parent, who had not parents to help him ease the burden of raising his little sister much less when he adopted Yuan and gave himself another mouth to feed. Lili is only 23, she is so young, she has her whole life ahead of her and here she is pregnant and willing to put aside her dreams in order to have and raise this baby.

Like Qian was.

“You have to think it through.”

Tammy makes these little jaw movements when Lili nods again, confirms with another little “mm.” that she knows this, that she has and is thinking it through.

Yuan sighs again, he’s just been watching the back of Qian’s head and sighing in relief when he knows that they are through a part of the conversation where Qian might have been set off.

Qian looks down, closes his eyes for a second, this is the book end to his question of his sister. He needs to take just a second to collect himself a little more and transition in to the other important questions.

“What about San Pang? Is he going to take responsibility?”

“Yes,” Lili finally speaks, her voice thick with tears. For me, it is important that she actually speaks here, because everyone in that hallway knows what Qian’s initial reaction to finding out that San Pang was fucking his sister was, so Lili needs to make it absolutely clear to Qian that San Pang is taking responsibility.

Qian moves his jaw a little bit in a way that feel accepting of that answer, which is coupled with a tiny head nod from Qian as well.

“Will he marry you?”

“Yes.” Lili says even closer to the brink of tears.

I love this little moment, because both Qian and Yuan have a very similar response to this answer, they are out of sync with it, but they both nod in almost the same way. Because it is important to remind the audience that these are Lili’s brothers (Qian and Yuan), not Lili’s dad (Qian) and Lili’s brother (Yuan).

Qian’s jaw moves around a lot after this answer, because he is taking in a shaky breath. He’s about to cry and you can hear it in the way he asks “Will he take care of you for life?”

“Yes.”

Qian takes in the world’s biggest and most important breath and finally stops looking at his sister, Lili has given him every single answer he has needed to hear in order to make himself be okay with the fact that she is pregnant.

This is such an interesting scene for me because I think it perfectly encapsulates Qian’s role in the family. The way they set this scene up positions Qian as the parent learning that their child is pregnant from how Qian enters the home, to the questions that he asks Lili, to the warnings that he gives her about how difficult it is to raise a child. But the brotherliness of things is there as well, we are reminded he’s Lili’s brother when she says he’ll be an uncle, Lili’s little vocal inflections, the way Lili nods her head, the way she engages with Qian’s hug all make her feel small to me. A reminder that this is Qian’s little sister.

And that distinction is cemented in the next part of this scene.

“Ge.” Lili says, and Qian turns back to look at her, so that she knows he is fully and wholly engaged in this conversation with her. “Promise me. Promise me you won’t be mad at San Pang.”

Qian swallows hard. Qian and Yuan take in a sharp breath at exactly the same time when she says it. He casts his eyes down, breathes out, swallows hard again, and then looks back up at his sister.

“Alright. I promise.”

Yuan’s entire body relaxes, that boy has been on alert this entire conversation, and it is only when Qian promises Lili that he won’t be mad that Yuan is finally able to breathe normally again. Placing a hand on Qian’s shoulder and giving it a supportive and grateful squeeze.

AND THEN MY FAVORITE PART HAPPENS

“You…you promised.” San Pang says exiting Qian’s fucking room. The disrespect. True best friend behavior.

What I love about this moment from Chris’ perspective is the face that he makes at the end of his promise to Lili is exactly the same as the face he is making when San Pang makes his presence known. But there is something that shifts somewhere in the way that he stares, in the setting of his jaw where the rage is so so visible on him.

“You won’t be mad at me.” A sharp intake of breath from Qian to that line, and then he hands Lili her sonogram photo, at which point San Pang should really have started running because absolutely nothing good could come of WEI QIAN having both his hands free. San Pang tries to stay in the support camp with the rest of them, patting Qian on the back in almost exactly the same place as where Yuan is holding his shoulder and smiling like a doofus. “You’re going to be an uncle.”

Man read the room, your bestie has taken his sister’s hands gently in his own and has started to move them up to her ears. RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Qian sets his jaw and before anyone has a chance to react he turns and lunges for San Pang’s throat with his bare hands. As I said, this show has (mostly) been successful at managing the balance between comedy and drama, and it is really nice to have a little moment of reprieve from the emotionally intense conversation between Qian and Lili with a little attempted murder in a moment that must have been very very fun for the actors to film.

Yuan wrangles Qian downstairs and calms him down and eventually Lili and San Pang make their way downstairs as well, with Lili coming to kneel at Qian’s feet. I am not culturally competent enough to talk about the significance of the kneeling, so I won’t. But I will talk about the conversation that Qian and Lili have.

“You raised me.” Lili says, still kneeling, still not making eye contact with Qian despite the fact that his eyes are trained on her. She worries her lip for a split second, looks him in the eye, and continues “Normally, you are my big brother.”

The camera cuts to Qian’s face “You’re like a father when you provide for this family. You’re like a mother when you nag.”

Qian is the one to break eye contact this time, sucking in a breath, and looking around aimlessly for a second as the power and weight of Lili’s words hit him. Qian looks back to his sister and smiles softly, “Get up and talk, OK?” he raises his eyebrows in a question “Hmm?” And he is so soft with her, this scene nearly brought me to tears because this is the first time Qian is hearing someone say this to his face.

Yuan has spent so much of his time in his relationship with Qian acknowledging that Qian has been taking care of Lili and him, but is always following that up with a plea for Qian to understand that he doesn’t have to do that anymore. But Lili isn’t trying to change the nature of her relationship to Qian, and we as an audience already saw her acknowledging everything that Qian has done, all that he has suffered, but she said those things about Qian and not to Qian. So this is the first time that Qian is hearing how his sister regards him in the context of her upbringing.

“Your hair is all messed up from kneeling,” Qian says, and tries to flatten the stray hairs of her bangs in such a tender act of love and care and gentleness. Qian is capable of not being mad, but he just needs some processing time. San Pang showing up immediately was not their smartest move because it didn’t give Qian time to process. But Qian has vented his frustrations now and he is capable of being calm and caring.

(^this little hair fixing moment is my favorite of the entire episode by the way.)

This is a story about Qian and Yuan, and as such we rarely get to see interactions between Qian and Lili. I am glad a moment like this exists because I do think it is important to establish that Qian has always and will always care for Lili in the biggest and the smallest of ways.

“Xiao Bao, I’m not against you.” He takes a long pause, his breath goes shaky. “It hurts me to think about it,” his nostrils flare “and I can’t bear to see you go through that. You’re too young. You’re only 23.” Such a heartbreaking line when you think about how Qian was roughly ten years younger than that when he started caring for Lili by himself. Qian’s voice starts to break. “You still have a lot to do, dreams to follow, and places you want to go. Don’t you?” Qian asks, and throughout that entire sentence, Lili is nodding softly, once again refusing eye contact.

She nods again, a confirmation that she does have things she wants to do, aspirations she wants to follow, places she wants to go.

“That’s why I’m afraid.” Another pause “I’m afraid you’ll end up like our mother.”

Let’s stop here for a second to acknowledge that Qian is using his words, using them well, and actually being vulnerable with his sister here. I appreciate this parallel to the alleyway scene in Episode 11 where Qian admits to Yuan that he is worried about turning into his mother. “Getting pregnant, then getting married, and leading an unhappy life.”

Camera cuts to a close up of Lili’s face, as she takes in a big breath and swallows hard. “Ge,” she looks Qian in the eye now “because of you, I’ve always been well-protected.” She beckons San Pang over. “But because of San Pang, I’ve learned that in this world, there are people who are willing to wholeheartedly care for you besides family.” cut to Zhiyuan “Just like Zhiyuan does for you.”

I don’t want to break down the body language of that part of the scene because that isn’t where my focus was. My focus was on Lili’s lines. In the acknowledgement that Qian has done so much for her, at the acknowledgement that Qian has protected her. While I have my qualms about the pregnancy plotline, especially because it is not in the original novel. I do have to say that I think it serves as this beautiful point of symbolism.

Because Qian took on so much burden to keep his sister, his family safe, Lili is not afraid of being a parent. Because she had a really good example in front of her for her entire life. It hasn’t been perfect, but Qian has played the role of father, mother, and brother to Lili and to Yuan for a significant portion of their lives. Qian may be afraid of Lili turning in to their mother, but that is because he is not able to see the forest through the trees, he is not able to see that there is nothing to worry about because Lili had strong role models, incredible support, lots of love.

Lili is ready to be a parent because of Qian. Qian broke the cycle of violence that they were born in to and as such this baby will be born with so so so much love and support in their life. And that is just so touching to me. The idea that after all this time, after over a decade of Qian holding the world on his shoulders, after over a decade of the pain, the debt, the fuckload of work, Qian has succeeded in protecting his sister from the horrors of the world, and broken the cycle of trauma for the next generation.

And I really hope that Qian knows that.

#unknown #unknown the series #unknown the series analysis #unknown series #unknown the series meta #unknown the series ep 12

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random-brushstrokes · 3 months

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José Segrelles - Caronte. Canto II de la Divina Comedia (ca. 1929)

Segrelles’ output achieved great success, particularly his illustrations for stories, tales and fables. With a restless and idealistic spirit, the painter instilled a sense of mysticism and symbolism into his compositions, drawing the reader into a fantastic and dream-like world that was the perfect accompaniment to the texts he illustrated. Strange actions, terrifying visions, torments, magical beings… in other words: exaltations of the imagination of an artist who, by inflaming the sublime, brings to mind the work of Johann Heinrich Füssli (1741—1825) and of the painter and poet William Blake (1757—1827). This drawing is part of the series of eight watercolours Segrelles made to illustrate Dante’s Divine Comedy, a commission from the Araluce publishing house in the late 1920s. The quality of this body of work won him a Gold Medal at the 1929 Barcelona International Exposition. The work in hand represents Charon, the Greek mythological character whose job was to ferry souls in his boat through the Marsh of Acheron to the underworld on the other side of the river of the dead. In payment, the souls had to give him one Obol, which is why it was the custom to put a coin in the mouth of the dead when burying them. Segrelles’ depiction of the ferryman is rather disquieting: an old man with big bulging eyes, his mouth half-open and a long white beard. His face brings to mind a phantasmagorical being, with eyes and gaping mouth reminiscent of that of a snake to provoke fear and anxiety. In short, a hybrid character, half way between a man and a strange being from the depths of the sea. (source)

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

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the post about the chess cheating is just flat out lying about a bunch of stuff by the way (i tried to explain how but it had kinda rant-y vibes for some reason so i guess i'll just leave it here? what a useless ask to send you. sorry)

Honestly every single version of that post, both for and against, has SOMETHING wrong and a bunch of people claiming other people are wrong without any sources and it's all a mess, but what's making me slowly morph from "Raised Eyebrow Disapproval" to "Actual Genuine Anger" is that absolutely no one seems to be paying attention to the important part: which is that this has rapidly become a gleeful global homophobic smear campaign against a 19 year old.

Like... I dunno, maybe this is part of my Generational Queerness, maybe this is just viscerally reminding me of George Michael being arrested, and Michael Barrymore being hounded out of public life and his career destroyed, and Julian Clary being intentionally driven off television. Each of these men were arrested or accused of other crimes. But each of them was really accused of being gay. And those stories followed this exact same pattern this one is: a sensational, lurid, gossipy and undeniably homosexual detail is taking centrepoint in every single discussion by press, pundits, critics, and public alike. The rest is secondary.

What mattered with George Michael was not the public bathroom - it was that he'd gone there to have sex with a man. What mattered with Michael Barrymore was not that someone tragically drowned in a pool at his house party - it was that the victim was his boyfriend and the party had gay sex in it. What mattered with Julian Clary was not that he told a risque joke in his comedy set - it was that he talked about being a gay queen.

What matters with Niemann is not that he cheated. It's that he "probably" used vibrating anal beads to do it. You know: like a big gross queer would.

Like... I cannot stress enough to any of you that I do not give the remotest shit, at this point, whether he has a history of online cheating, or whether his opponent actually just fucked up the game that day, or even who started the anal bead rumour and why. I could not give less of a shit if I tried. That is not even in the same league as the important part of all this. I do not care.

What I care about is the undeniably ghoulish glee with which the international press have leapt upon this and are spreading it about. What I care about is the way celebrities are wilfully spreading it about. What I care about is the way the public are sharing it with exactly the same shrill, giggly, high-on-drama hysteria that I remember them sharing about George Michael, and Michael Barrymore, and Julian Clary.

What I care about is that this is a homophobic witch hunt. A homophobic smear campaign. Against a 19 year old who may or may not even be gay, but that's definitely the direction the press (and their followers) are going to want to push this.

And I increasingly care about the way none of the rest of you seem to give a shit about that, when to me it is so luridly, flagrantly, and screamingly obvious.

I dunno. As I say: maybe this is just part of my Generational Queerness. Maybe I'm pattern matching. Maybe I'm seeing ghosts.

Maybe not.

#homophobia

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rhysdarbinizedarby · 2 months

Text

Rhys Darby has ‘not an ounce of scaredness’ about son’s band dreams

NZ actor Rhys Darby and his musician son Finn interview each other. VIDEO CREDIT: David White/Stuff

Rhys Darby is proudly listing career moments - but they’re not his own.

He’s recalling watching his son Finn’s band, Great Big Cow, “absolutely rock” iconic LA venue Troubadour to sold-out crowds.

As a parent, “you worry about a bit of nepotism,” he admits.

“Are we just ‘yay, our boys!’ when really they’re dreadful?”

But, he says, the band’s indie folk rock is “brilliant”, and keeps getting better. And, he insists, people are paying attention.

“We’re shocked as parents a little bit,” he jokes.

The band, Rhys and I are nestled between a Street Fighter arcade game and a pinball machine, in a dark corner of Auckland’s Whammy Bar. The US-based teen band has been sound-checking for their first international show.

Rhys has donned weathered jeans and a plaid jacket - approved by Finn. His son is wearing Dad’s socks for the night. While Rhys talks, Finn pulls faces and shares quiet in-jokes with his band mates. There are plenty of laughs.

Finn, Paolo Pesce, Will Angarola and Wyatt Nash originally played together in a school jazz combo, and went on to form Great Big Cow in 2022.

Rhys Darby, left, watches his son Finn’s band dreams without “an ounce of scaredness”. DAVID WHITE/STUFF

Now, Rhys insists, they have a growing fanbase. Some of whom “[do] that thing where you dance really closely … Moshing”. He points to my notebook.

“Put down there that I did know what moshing is.”

Sure, Rhys Darby - one of New Zealand’s most well-known comedy exports - helped the band get bums on seats and lock in bigger venues, but they were also recently featured on LA public radio station KCRW’s Young Creators Project, can be found on Spotify and their mainstay is house parties.

“I think because I'm a bigger deal [in NZ], it might have been a little different. In LA, no-one really gives a shit about who I am,” he laughs, looking over at Finn who’s patiently had his hand raised while Dad spoke.

There are people and groups in LA that have helped the band too, says Finn, and he’s not sure those opportunities would have happened back in NZ.

“I would have got you on bFM for sure,” Rhys quips back.

He looks on at Finn’s creative path with, “not an ounce of scaredness”.

“Obviously as a child I had many different dreams, but at the base of everything was art and performance,” he says, describing his younger self as a “dreamer” who wanted to entertain.

Rhys Darby with son Finn before Great Big Cow played Auckland’s Whammy Bar. DAVID WHITE/STUFF

“When it comes to [my kids], I see different ambitions, but they have the artistic talent - I’m completely open to whatever they want to do. I’ll always be there for them.”

Where New Zealand has a bit of a reputation for tall poppy syndrome and an air of negativity, LA is hugely positive, says Rhys - especially for fostering young talent.

And it was in LA, at a house party, that Finn recalls being caught up in the “electric energy” of playing live.

“The whole audience was moving. And I think two people got lifted up above the crowd and surfed around above the crowd,” he says.

Finn’s not the only Darby putting in some work while in Aotearoa. Following Rhys’s joint 50th celebration with wife Rosie, he’ll be returning to the local stage, performing his Rhys Darby 25 Years stand-up show at Waiheke Island’s Wild Estate on April 3.

It encompasses the best bits from his previous shows, but performing it at Waiheke is “just another excuse to put on a show, really”, and to show his US mates another part of Auckland.

Rhys Darby, following a stint in the army and then university, kicked off his career with stand-up, before becoming a household name with an impressive TV and film CV, including Flight of the Conchords, Yes Man, The Boat that Rocked and Our Flag Means Death.

As for whether he still loves stand-up, “love is a strong word”, he laughs.

“I still enjoy it. But it's it's less of a thrill than it used to be.”

What he’s really loving is throwing himself into acting, and challenging himself with more dramatic roles - different to the very physical, crazy “shenanigans on stage”, requiring more focus for the comedian and “not just being a silly bugger”.

Plus, he’s 50 now.

“It’s much easier to do the stuff where I'm just sitting down,” he laughs.

Still, there’s no denying he’s been part of a movement that threw New Zealand comedy into the wider world, and he speaks proudly about his own work, but also that of other Kiwis such as filmmaker Taika Waititi and actor Rose Matafeo.

It’s a type of comedy, he says, that “has a signature” and can’t be copied.

Rhys Darby and son Finn at Auckland’s Whammy Bar. DAVID WHITE/STUFF

“I think it’s that positivity thing, which is ironic coming from a place with tall poppy syndrome. We don’t like each other but you guys love us, eh?”

It’s one of the reasons Darby is still living in LA, “still waving the flag [and] not changing my accent”.

And while Darby’s big break may have been the role of band manager Murray, when it comes to Great Big Cow he and Rosie “don’t want to be helicopter parents too much”.

“We're there when they have a question.”

And while Rhys says he can’t talk about any of his own projects, Finn interrupts with a quiet word about vague plans for a comedy musical theatre show featuring Rhys and the band.

Looking back at his own career, the highlight was breaking into the US market - name-dropping X Files and Our Flag Means Death as highlights.

“What's next? It's all peaks and troughs,” he says - mentioning Hollywood is turning to AI, but “thankfully, there's no one that can do a better robot impression than me”.

Still, the changing industry is worrying.

“People are losing their jobs, and AI is having a lot to do with it,” he says - dropping the quips and gags for a moment.

“After the strikes, I know, it's taken a while to get the industry back on its feet, but I'm hoping that it will get there,” he says.

“But it is worrying. It's really worrying the moment.”

Source: Stuff NZ

#rhys darby #finn darby #interview #great big cow band #stuff nz

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foolishlovers · 3 months

Note

hi bestie💖🫂

can you rec me some longer enemies to lovers AU? bonus if they are complete idiots.

thank you love!💕

of course, always 💜

here are some of my favourite longer good omens enemies to lovers AUs (ranging from 46k-201k):

[you can request more fic recs here.]

Fire, Bridges, and other Sensible Idioms by KiaraMGrey (E, 46k) To: The person who stopped the washer in the middle of my wash cycle and took my clothes out just to wash your own… You are an arsehole! Unfortunately for you, so am I. You can find your wet clothes frozen outside in the snow. If you have any problems with this, come see me in 301. or Aziraphale has a new neighbor, and they certainly don't start off on the right foot.

Intermezzo by FeralTuxedo (E, 47k) Music critic Aziraphale Fell is trying to break into the world of television, when he is signed to make a documentary about former-rockstar-turned-composer Anthony Crowley. It’s been eleven years since Aziraphale’s disastrous review of Crowley’s debut opera nipped his classical music career in the bud. He can only hope that Crowley will get over his admittedly justified grudge to make the TV show a success. A classical music sex comedy. Yes, really.

through the silent wood by summerofspock (M, 57k) When Aziraphale Eastgate first moves to Tadfield, he struggles to understand the strange culture of the village. They're not friendly or kind or anything he expected from a village in the north. So when he rescues a snake from a snow storm, he's glad for a little company even if it comes in the form of an animal. Unfortunately, in Tadfield, animals are often not what they seem.

Fifty-Two Blue by bendycello (M, 84k) It would be a gross understatement to say that Crowley simply didn't like Aziraphale. He was posh and stuffy and arrogant, and Crowley couldn't figure out why everyone else in the program liked him so much. It hardly mattered; they were competitors, and Crowley didn't need to make friends to become a surgeon. It takes several unleasant encounters, the excessive use of house plants as a coping mechanism, and getting stuck in an elevator for Crowley to start reconsidering his priorities. Or… Crowley and Aziraphale are surgical interns with competitive streaks a mile wide each, and they really do not like each other at all. Until they do.

Married at First Sight by Aracloptia (T, 146k) “Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting. “That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own annoyance that somebody called a wedding a ‘thing’. “Yeah, obviously, didn’t miss that part,” Crowley said with a shrug, and waved abruptly in Aziraphale’s general direction. “Neither did you, from the looks of it, since you’re dressed like a wedding bride and everything.” “Excuse me, I am a—“ Aziraphale stopped himself, and started over. In which Aziraphale ends up marrying a rude stranger who wears sunglasses.

Or Be Nice by charlottemadison (E, 151k) Crowley and Aziraphale are neighbours. And…it does not go at all well, until it does. A human AU in which Aziraphale is a bookseller, Crowley is a drummer, and they are both petty disasters in the worst/best way. +++ “So what’s your deal?” “My-my-my deal?” Aziraphale stammered. “I’m a bookseller, is my deal.” “Oh,” Crowley replied, sounding as uninterested as it was possible to sound. “It’s just, I couldn’t help overhearing, and --” Aziraphale swallowed hard. “You really are an accomplished musician. But I thought -- for after 11PM -- perhaps we could reach some arrangement?” “Arrangement?” Aziraphale felt his his smile turning forced. “Such as, perhaps, playing the drums before eleven? Instead of after?” Crowley stared blankly at him. In fact he stared for so long that Aziraphale briefly wondered if he'd lapsed into ancient Greek again, which he was known to do in bad dreams or during panic attacks.

The Curve of Old Bones by Jenanigans1207 (E, 201k) Aziraphale watches as Crowley’s smile grows, sharpens and turns distinctively dastardly. And even though Aziraphale knows what he’s in store for, he’s entirely unprepared for the words that slip out of Crowley’s mouth next. “Name’s Anthony Crowley, Aziraphale’s husband.” Aziraphale is eternally grateful that he wasn’t taking a sip of his tea at that exact moment for he would’ve surely choked on it. When Crowley claims to be Aziraphale's husband to ruin what he assumes is a date, he doesn't think anything of it. But a day later it comes back to bite him in the ass when Crowley finds out that the date in question is, in fact, his new boss, who is looking to hire Aziraphale and hoping that Crowley, his husband, will put in a good word for them. Now Crowley is caught in a tight spot: either admit to his new boss that he was lying, or convince Aziraphale, his sort-of enemy, to pretend to be his husband to save face.

stil on my tbr:

Miracles on Ice by HenriettaRHippo (E, 52k, WIP) Two rival figure skaters - Aziraphale and Crowley - must team up as the world's first male-male figure skating pair. There's just one problem…they can't stand each other. Can these two put aside their hatred to bring back the gold? Or was that hatred just a cover for deeper feelings bubbling under the surface? It's enemies to lovers, on ice! Crowley And The Chocolate Factory by entanglednow (E, 54k) Crowley has to step up for his nephew Adam when he wins a ticket to tour the famous chocolate factories, run by the reclusive and deeply strange Zira Zonka. It doesn't take Crowley long to decide that he wants nothing to do with the man, who's clearly hiding dark and mysterious secrets.

To Conquer A Grand Estate by MrsCaulfield, angelsnuffbox (M, 84k) 'He fought against another thing as well. He fought against hope, the warmth and pleasing sensation of it, wanting to bloom in his chest. He took it and kept it within confinement, aware that it would no longer do him any service. A foolish thing it was, to realise how greatly and ardently he could have loved Crowley now, when all love was vain.' Good Omens x Pride and Prejudice fusion that no one asked for

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

#thanks for asking me mari 💜#i kinda thought there would be more??#mayhaps i need no write another enemies to lovers fic mhmmm #good omens #good omens human au #good omens fic rec #good omens fanfic #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #aziracrow fic #ineffable husbands #foolish recs #go fic masterpost

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skaiplana · 3 months

Text

Read Harrow the Ninth. Went insaner. Read As Yet Unsent. Shitpost and thoughts:

- God's name is John. He makes dad jokes.

- I am glad this is a universe where God can be: a) killed b) fucked. We have empirical evidence

- on that note, let's do dios apate minor three but make it a foursome with me baby. Let me get that ancient pussy and/or dick

- rip Mercymorn that woman served cunt was a cunt and talked!! In an amazing! Way!! Do you think she would fix my scoliosis?

- rip Augustine he was a cunt too. Trying to send god to hell is iconic. Of course Ianthe would kill him.

- Mercy and Augustine... they hated each other. They worked together to kill god. They had a suicide pact. They wanted to be burried next to each other. They died only a few minutes apart.

- Ianthe that gay little pathetic snake.

- CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THE 'GALL ON GALL' JOKE I DONT GET IT

- GIDEON (2) IS BACK!!! NOW WITH MORE FUCKED UP PARENTAL ISSUES!!!

- is Gideon (2) biologically Mercy's or Wake's kid? I thought she was Wake's because everything Mercy made died but I've seen some people say otherwise

- so like. Wake is evil virgin Mary. Gideon (2) is space lesbian Jesus.

- Gideon (1) is OUT, Pyrra is IN! What that entails I do not know but she seems cooler than him

- how do you get in affair with a commander of your enemy. How do you not use a condom or like kill your sperm. Why were you afraid it's your kid Gideon (Pyrra?).

- when John asked if Harrow and Ianthe are using protection what did he mean. Is he implying that there is a possibility of pregnancy? Is he concerned about infections and stds? They could just cure those? Is he saying that there are like dental dams somewhere on mithraeum

- Harrow. What can I say? She did a diy lobotomy. She's haunted. Every woman wants her. She's in love with a dead body. She made a soup out of her own bone and tried to murder someone with it. I want to hug her

- yk I'm starting to think that the Emperor Undying is a wretched liar a dick and a colonizer. Just a hunch.

- now I don't believe anything he's ever said and I'm thinking that Harrow probably did open the tomb

- Camilla is alive and well!!! Sex Pal is almost alive an fairly well!! Can we get him out of the bones

- Coronabeth is realizing how fucked up the nine houses are! Deuteros is not!

- Abigail!!! Magnus!!! I'm glad I got to see more of them. Abigail is actually so cool I want them to adopt me

- the actual Dulcinea! She's so cool too

- the alive Protesilaus being a poet udhdhehhehe and Ortus having internal beef with him

- Ortus is an interesting person now! Also the way everyone likes his poetry except for Harrow is peak comedy

- they actually summoned Nonius. Then he killed ghost Wake. Then they made a dnd party and went to to fight the Resurrection Beast and they WON I guess. These series is a comedy

- I actually understood everything most of the time except for some obscure words (please explain gall on gall tho)

#the locked tomb #locked tomb #harrow the ninth #gideon the ninth

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kissagii · 1 year

Note

Yo! I have a doozy of a request >:)

Okay mha, aizawa, with an adult son/daughter (idk the gender neutral term. Child?? I think it's child?) Who is a hero overseas and one day DIES.

Aizawa hears it some how, goes into grieving, and then...

Reader just shows up... in his house... raiding his fridge (but make it funny)

It turns out reader had to fake their death to go undercover to kick some villans butt and they needed to lay low for a while so they came back home.

Comfort angst-turned Crack!

got it! i loved this concept, it's so amazing <3 <3 <3

i don't think i went crazy enough with the comedy because for some reason i felt like a more wholesome route would work better

safe and sound

aizawa x child!reader ; wc. 0.9k

cw: cursing, reader is presumed dead, it's a lil graphic, not proofread

There were times when Aizawa Shota regretted becoming a father. This was one of them. He knew that his profession put his child in danger of losing a parent at any moment, but he promised himself every day that he would return home safely for their sake. It was what kept him going. But what he had never expected was that he would be the one to lose someone so dear to his heart in a hero mission.

Aizawa was in the middle of a nap when Kaminari shouted the news. “OH MY GOD, THE X-TEAM VANISHED!”

Aizawa knew that team all too well: it was your team.

“Give me that,” He muttered, taking Kaminari’s phone from his hand and skimming through the article.

X-Team… heroes sent abroad… villain ambush… notorious killers… location unknown… heroes vanished… presumed dead. He reread those last few words. “All heroes presumed dead.” It couldn’t be - it just couldn’t. You had to be alive… you had to.

In that moment, as he sobbed on the floor of his classroom, Aizawa Shota wished he had never encouraged you to be a hero, never let you join the agency known for taking on the most brutal internatonal missions, never taken in a child with such immense potential only for that potential to be cut short in such a terrible accident.

Weeks of searching were to no avail. Try as they might, international heroes could find nothing regarding the X-Team’s location, not a piece of clothing, or a message, or a villain that might spill. Until they found the bodies. Three of them, young adults, disfigured beyond identifiability. But one of them lined up with you - same height, build, gender, age… and clearly the victim of the villains you were chasing. For all Aizawa knew, it was you.

Aizawa Shota is a tired man. He always has been. But weeks of sleepless nights, long days of worrying, and the nightmares… it took a toll on him. He was barely functioning as a teacher and as a hero. Only pure exhaustion would make him sleep, and what little rest he got would never last. So it was no surprise when he, having not slept in days, hallucinated a person in his house.

Illuminated only by the light of the fridge (which, he noticed, had been largely emptied of its contents), the imaginary person turned to him and waved, mouth full of food.

“‘Ello!” They said, grinning. Aizawa knew that voice. That was your voice.

“Oh god… I’m losing it,” He muttered to himself, “I’m fucking hallucinating.”

“But you’re not though? Waittt are there two of me? Or a shadow demon in the corner? HI SHADOW DEMON!!”

Perhaps it really was you - his child, the little creature he raised from nothing, his reason for living and the most amazing person in his life.

“Ah, shit, you probably think I’m dead, don’t you? Long story short it was a whole scheme, our cover got blown so we had to hide for a while, the villains wanted to make it look like they killed us, we got in undercover with some reinforcements and they took forever to get to us, then all of a sudden we get out of our hidey hole and everyone thinks we’re dead? I dunno, it was pretty wild though. Sorry for spookin’ you… but we got the job done so it’s fine, right?”

Your father collapsed into your arms. Your very solid, very real, very alive arms. For weeks it had seemed hopeless, like he’d truly lost you. But all that time… all that time you were working diligently, making the best of your situation, the dedicated child he loved so much. Home at last, safe.

“Dad? Daaaaad. There’s really no need to cry, I’m fine! Yeah it was messy, but hey, it all turned out fine! It always does, doesn’t it?” Though you complained, you missed your father. Two months away from home, one of which was spent cut off from most of the world, took a toll on you too.

“Kiddo… you can’t just scare me like that,” Whatever strength he had left was put entirely into the rib-cracking embrace he gave you, tears soaking into your shirt, “I thought you were dead. I thought I lost you.”

“Hey dad, do you remember what you told me when I was little?” He nodded. “How I wasn’t allowed to worry about you when you went on missions because you’d always find a way back to me? Well, now that I’ve gone pro, I think it’s time that bargain went both ways. Because our silly little family - Auntie Kamaya, Uncle Yamada, those other kids you adopted from UA, you, and me - we’ll stick together.”

Aizawa let go of you, placing his hands firmly on your shoulders and looking into your eyes, “Yeah… I’ll try not to worry. Now I’m going to sleep… and you’d better have the fridge reorganized by the time I wake up.”

“Reorganized, restocked, and breakfast on the table. For all the stress I caused you,” You promised as he trudged to his room. Now, there was only one issue between you and seet, sweet sleep - how the hell were you going to get groceries to make breakfast if the whole country thought you were dead???

#imagine ⋆｡°✩#aizawa x reader #aizawa x child reader #aizawa #shota aizawa #shota aizawa x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha aizawa #bnha aizawa

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ncisfranchise-source · 1 month

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It came down to the wire, but NCIS: Hawai’i ultimately didn’t make the cut for next season at CBS. The news comes days before the network is set to announce its fall schedule on May 2 and before the Season 3 finale of Hawai’i is scheduled to air on May 6. According to sources, the episode was not meant to be a series finale and includes a tease for what was to come but fans won’t be left reeling by a major cliffhanger.

The cancellation is not a complete shocker since, as Deadline has been reporting, NCIS: Hawai’i was on the bubble. Still, the outcome is surprising since I hear an effort was made to extend the drama’s run for at least an abbreviated fourth and final season, with producers agreeing to a massive budget cut and open to other concessions in order to keep the show going.

Hawai’i, the first series in the NCIS franchise with a female lead, Vanessa Lachey, is now the first series in the franchise not to get a proper sendoff after a brief run compared to its predecessors NCIS, renewed for a 22nd season, NCIS: Los Angeles (14 seasons) and NCIS: New Orleans (7). It is unclear whether series producer CBS Studios would shop the drama but there are no obvious buyers, with Paramount+ already stocked up with two NCIS original series, Sydney and the Tony and Ziva spinoff.

Attracting sizable viewership on a linear network is quite a challenge, so it is not common these days for a network to let go of the #12 most watched non-sports program on broadcast that averages 7.8 million linear viewers (most current) and 10M in Live+35 multi-platform viewing.

That is what CBS is doing with the cancellation of NCIS: Hawai’i, which added some star power and NCIS continuity this season with NCIS: Los Angeles‘ LL Cool J who has been in every episode.

It comes on the heels of Top 25 series So Help Me Todd and CSI: Vegas getting the axe last Friday. As I noted in the CBS Renewal Status Report earlier this month, the network was going to have to make some painful cancellation decisions, getting rid of shows other networks would’ve been happy to renew.

The series, as well as So Help Me Todd and CSI: Vegas, ultimately became a casualty of a strong schedule, a cost-management drive and overall uncertainty at the parent company Paramount Global, which is in the process of being sold.

Even before CBS’ lineup, delayed by the strikes, launched with the Super Bowl, the network already had committed to five new scripted series for next season, dramas Matlock, Watson and NCIS: Origins and comedies Poppa’s House and a Young Sheldon spinoff, with renewal conversations on NCIS: Sydney also well underway.

Then CBS’ originals returned, exceeding expectations, with the network claiming the top 16 most watched shows of its premiere week and 14 of the top 20 non-sports programs overall this midseason in Nielsen most current linear viewership.

With no obvious weaklings, Blue Bloods getting a final run next season and S.W.A.T. surprisingly uncanceled, the network had to cut deep in purging its slate to make room for the additions.

Just a year ago, a renewal for Hawai’i would’ve been a no-brainer: it’s part of a storied franchise with solid rating and crossover potential with the mothership series that yielded big ratings in January 2023. But now, CBS already has three other NCIS series already locked for next season: the original series, renewed for Season 22, Sydney, returning for a second season, and the upcoming Young Gibbs prequel NCIS: Origins. There is also the Tony & Ziva NCIS spinoff series greenlighted by Paramount+, making for a crowded NCIS field.

With strong multi-platform performance, as NCIS: Hawai’i ranked above several CBS dramas that have been renewed, including FBI: Most Wanted, FBI: International and S.W.A.T., it probably came down to money.

Even with the proposed budget cuts, NCIS: Hawai’i was still going to be expensive. Its long-term prospects were unclear — whether it would become a big global hit and moneymaker like its franchise predecessors. With CBS’ parent company focused on its short-term balance sheet as it prepares to sell, a corporate decision was made not to take a chance and find out.

In NCIS: Hawai’i, Special Agent in Charge of NCIS Pearl Harbor Jane Tennant (Lachey) and her team balance duty to family and country, investigating high-stakes crimes involving military personnel, national security and the mysteries of the island itself.

Alex Tarrant, Noah Mills, Jason Antoon, Yasmine Al-Bustami, Tori Anderson and Kian Talan also star. Matt Bosack, Jan Nash, Christopher Silber and Larry Teng served as executive producers.

In a recent Deadline interview, CBS Studios President David Stapf spoke about how “wholly unique” Hawai’i is while also being part of the franchise as the first NCIS series with a female lead, Lachey, and with its Hawai’i locale. “We were just coming off Hawaii Five-0, a very successful show,” he said of the spinoff’s origins. “People love that setting, it plays well over the globe.”

#ncis hawaii

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icallhimjoey · 1 year

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All Goes South

♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Joe is overworked, tired, exhausted and just... he needs a break. Everyone knows it, too. None of it is really exciting to him anymore. Then, he meets you, and something reignites within him.

CW / disclaimer: language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader

Author’s note: I watched a very dumb 2004 romantic comedy and was ~inspired! I reworked the plot a LOT, but if you manage to figure it out ahead of time, please don't spoil anything! Come shout at me privately instead :)

Wordcount: 2.7K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five It was just after 8PM, most of the, if not the entire building already empty, when five people huddled together in the small office that belonged to one of them.

“He just seems... exhausted,”

“That’s because he is.”

Joe was meant to come in for meetings that afternoon. There were quite a few important things they had to go through, but just as he was meant to be walking in, he’d called in sick. Said he wasn’t feeling well and was about to go back to bed.

Trying to get him to do the meetings from his home were futile. Joe expertly denied, apologised, and hung up his phone before turning it off completely.

“We can all see that he’s overworked, we don’t need to dwell on that. Listen, all we want to do is give him a break, we all want that for him, but we can’t, it’s as simple as that. There’s too many things coming up, and we need him to actually go as well,”

“Yea, but what can we do when he calls in sick? I can’t send someone over to drag him out of his house by his lies,”

A soft snicker filled the small office. None of this was actually funny, though.

“We need him to stop calling in sick,”

“I’m a publicist! Not a doctor. I’m not going to risk telling him to do work when he’s unwell,”

“He’s not unwell,”

“Again, I’m not a doctor. Neither are you, or any of us. We can’t make that judgment.”

“He’s just tired. We... Honestly, we should give him a break,”

“Except we can’t.”

“It’s coming out of his own pocket, if he wants a break, we could give him a break.”

Eyes darted from one to the other, deep sighs were followed by silences.

“Remember how he used to be so excited about every single public appearance he got to do? Can we... I don’t know, find a way to get that excitement back into him?”

“Hard to be excited over shit when you’re drained,”

“I know, but there’s got to be something... there’s got to be something we can do...”

Joe splashed whatever water was left on his hands into his face after running his wrists under the cold-water stream for a second. Little drops landed all over before he rubbed his face with wet palms. He sighed deeply.

This definitely was a full set up.

He’d suspected a little something something. And he had been so close to cancelling, but he’d been made to promise. He had laughed then, “Yea, I promise, I’ll be there,” even though he thought it was silly to say that down the phone to his manager, he had done anyway.

This was supposed to be a casual dinner. Just to chat a bit, nothing too intense. Joe had told himself beforehand he wasn’t going to drink, but the second his manager started to carefully talk about all the things that were coming up, Joe had stopped a waiter and asked for a glass of something strong. Just, whatever, some hard liquor please.

Then, not even five minutes later, Joe knew it was a real set up when he saw more people walk in through the door. His team. He wondered why they’d been sat at a larger table with just the two of them to begin with, but his manager had swiftly moved onto talking about some amazing gig he’d been to over the weekend, and it hadn’t come up again.

They’d all talked. Asked questions. Wanted to know if there were things they could do to make Joe more comfortable. They were all things Joe had to decide. Decisions. Do you want this or that? Would rather have these or those? Did he mind if an intern tagged along? Would he be interested in– it was a lot. It was a mental load he didn’t really want to take on. Couldn’t really take on. It had made him escape to the toilets, and he’d been in there for way too long. They’d be coming to look for him any second now, he thought as he stared at himself in the mirror.

He rubbed his face once more before leaving the bathroom, thinking of some sort of excuse to head out. Leave.

He saw out the front, saw his manager by the entrance, on the phone, smoking a cigarette. Fuck, they thought of everything, hadn’t they? With the doors guarded, Joe couldn’t just slip out unseen. Maybe his mother could have called him about something. Some sort of family emergency. No, they fucking knew his parents, didn’t they? They could easily fact-check immediately. Everyone was way too tangled up in this business, and it was his own fault that everyone had grown close. He should’ve kept things more separate, maybe. Jesus, what was he going to say?

“Psst,”

Joe turned his head, and found someone, stood in what he assumed was the doorway that lead into the kitchen of the restaurant.

You’d seen Joe. Sat at his table, with people who all dressed way more casually than they acted. You didn’t like that. It was the pretence of, we’re just here for a good time, but then they would only talk about work and obligations.

The moment you made eye contact, Joe gave a polite smile, wanted to keep walking towards his table, so you did it again, “Psst,”

And Joe stopped, turned again, looked confused as if to ask, me? You’re trying to catch my attention?

You caught it, though, even if Joe wasn’t sure what was happening, and you nodded your head behind you. Silently said, come in here. Joe didn’t move. Just, blinked a few times. Then your eyes moved, quickly towards the kitchen, then back at Joe before you took a step backwards. And as if by magic, Joe took a step towards you. You took another, and then so did he. It was like you were a huge radiating magnet and Joe was made of iron. It kind of made you smile a little, because suddenly, there you were. In the kitchen of a restaurant. With Joe.

“You want to get out?”

Um... what? Who were you? How did you know?

“I saw that, didn’t mean to eavesdrop but... no, that’s a lie, I totally eavesdropped because I wanted to, sorry,”

Joe looked, saw people cooking, cleaning, moving hunks of meat from grills onto plates, big plumes of smoke coming from pans... No one really paid either of you any attention. As if guests walked into the kitchen all the time.

“You’re Joe Quinn– Joseph Quinn, why wouldn’t I secretly listen in?”

Wait, did you work there? You weren’t wearing what any of the other staff were wearing...

“Do you want to get out of here?” you asked again, and Joe didn’t fully understand what was happening, but found himself patting his pockets. He had everything. He stepped back, looked into the restaurant, and saw his table of people, all... sort of, bored. Not talking. All on their phones, all waiting for his return from the bathroom.

Joe sighed. They were all lovely people. Really, really nice people. He just kind of didn’t want to see them right now. Didn’t want to talk to them for like, three months, if that was allowed.

“It’s this way, you can leave throughout the back, go somewhere else, where they sell great glasses of something strong,” you joked, moving through the kitchen, beckoning Joe to follow.

Again, who were you, exactly?

“Go get your, whatever hard liquor,”

Oh, you really had eavesdropped, hadn’t you?

You pushed through two doors, and lead Joe out into a grimy alleyway where the big bins were kept.

“If they ask, I can say that I just saw you take some pictures with fans and pretend to go and get you, but really take my time. Give you a proper head start.” You were stood in the doorway still, holding the door open and selling Joe ideas that didn’t need a sales pitch. He’d fork over money just for the suggestion.

Joe huffed a breath of a laugh and turned to look down the alleyway towards the main street.

“I think someone’s still out by the doors out front,” Joe stalled.

“Want me to go check?”

Joe cocked his head a little at you, then closed his eyes and had to sort of... reset everything. Reboot the system. He had just been hauled out the back of a restaurant by someone he didn’t know and although fantastic, this was weird.

“Okay, hang on. Hi, hello,” Joe stuck out a hand, “I’m Joe, nice to meet you,”

You laughed, took his hand, and introduced yourself.

“Thank you for this, it’s bizarre,” Joe laughed even though he still looked confused. “But... yea, thank you,”

“Be free little bird,” you waved an arm and couldn’t finish the sentence before cracking up. “Go migrate, fly south, where the good stuff is,” you meant pubs, and it seemed like Joe understood.

You smiled at each other a second before you moved to shut the door. A weird sense of accomplishment washed over you. Perfect. This had gone perfectly, right? It had. Had it? No, yes, it had.

“Come with?”

The door was almost closed when fingers curled around the edge, stopping you from shutting it completely.

“Huh?”

“Wanna come with? Lone birds are bad luck, aren’t they?” Joe had his lips pursed into a smile which looked like he was trying to hide it. A mischievous glint played in his eyes.

“That’s magpies I think,” you said, which wasn’t the point, but it gave you more time to consider what was being asked of you.

Joe was asking you to sneak out into the night with him. Joe Quinn. Joseph Quinn. It was kind of exactly what you’d hoped would happen but hadn’t really dared to think about, because obviously, this was never going to happen. But it was. He'd literally just asked. Joe’s fingers were clasped around the door you’d tried to pull shut and was asking you to come with him.

“Those are birds,” Joe half shrugged, smiled.

You looked him up and down a second, then said, “Okay, give me like, a minute, I’ll go see from inside if there’s still someone out by the door,”

And like promised, you reappeared about a minute later. Found Joe stood in the middle of the alleyway, hands in pockets, waiting for you.

“He’s still out there. We’ll have to walk a regular pace, turn immediately, so we won’t stand out and he shouldn’t notice us,”

And like you’d known each other for years, you fell into step together as you made your way over to the main road. Just before turning, you stopped, held an arm out that stopped Joe and you peered around the corner.

“Okay,” you whispered, thought maybe you should wait for him to turn the other way before you’d turn the corner, but then Joe pushed your arm down and grabbed your hand, pulling you right along with him as he stepped out.

You had to take rushed little steps to keep up with him.

“Oh my God, oh my God,” you whispered, overtaken by this blissful giddiness, almost childlike, and you couldn’t help but look over your shoulder.

Shit.

You made direct eye-contact.

“Oh shit, he saw me,” your voice was high pitched, throat strained trying to keep in squeals of laughter. You could hear Joe was letting giggles escape him as you picked up pace until you were running, hands firming their grip onto each other.

“Hey!”

It served as a gunshot at a marathon. You both started bolting it down the street, dodging other pedestrians and laughing loudly as you held onto each other for dear life. You disappeared around a corner, but kept running, jumping over puddles, and dashing across streets – Joe didn’t even really check for cars, but you were flying together, and it felt like London was yours and yours alone. It didn’t matter that people were looking. They’d only get to see you for a second anyway.

Completely out of breath with the early beginnings of stabbing pain in your side, you said, “Wait, no, this way,” and pulled Joe around a corner, straight into the entrance of a pub.

In the small little hallway that the two of you filled out completely, you took a moment to catch your breath. With thumping hearts you panted, finally let go of each other's hands and smiled at each other with open mouths.

Then Joe's phone rang in his pocket, and it made Joe groan immediately.

“Turn that off,” you said, pushing the double swinging door that lead inside.

Joe showed you who was calling, like the name Alex was meant to mean something to you. Then laughed as he declined it and swiftly moved on to do as he was told, turning his phone off.

Moving inside, the place was comfortably busy. Nothing insane, still lots of seats left, but also not empty. You didn't draw immediate attention from everyone, which was good. Great, actually. Joe'd never been to this place before. Neither had you.

“So,” you started, still not fully back to breathing normally. “As a bird that's just broken out of its cage and has flown down south, how strong of a drink are we talking here?”

“I'll do a pint,” a sensible choice.

“One pint for the bird. Coming up,”

Joe watched as you stepped towards the bar, and he realised he was left a little mesmerized. There was something about you... oh man, he was in a lot of trouble. Joe could only imagine the kind of voicemail messages he was being left right this second. But seeing you lean over the bar to order drinks, there was no way Joe was going to back out. Also you kept calling him a bird, and it was unexpected, but Joe sort of liked it. It worked at something in his stomach, which he tried to ignore for the time being.

When was the last time Joe'd gone somewhere without knowing where he'd eventually end up? Or how he was going to get home?

It had been too long, honestly.

Everything had all been wrapped up in work. Sure, there were parties. There were parties all the time. But it was always networking and careful selection of who he spoke with, even when he got a friend or two to tag along. It was always drinks inside, photographs with girls who'd been waiting outside.

And Joe didn't want to disappoint. He didn't want to tell people no, especially not fans. It kind of became safer to just stay inside. Be alone in his own home, where there were no expectations and the only person he could disappoint was himself.

Now he was in a random little pub where no one even really looked at him, cared about him, knew who he was or wanted something from him. Except, you definitely knew who he was. Hadn't kept that a secret at all. But somehow, that was fine...

What was it...? What was it about you? You kind of pulled him in and it was... exciting. Strange, too. This definitely had potential to all be a massive mistake, but so exciting. So fun.

Joe stepped closer, heard you order two pints and interjected. “Should we get a quick shot in as well?”

You turned, looked him in the eye and grinned. Oh, it was going to be that kind of an evening, huh? You kind of understood. Those people at Joe's table had all been talking at him at once, and you'd eyed Joe as he hadn't really given them more than quick one-word answers.

Joe needed an escape. You'd given him a physical one and now the drink would provide him with a mental one.

You understood. But, even if you hadn't, you still would've been game. Who were you kidding? Who the fuck was going to say no to shots with Joe Quinn?

“And two... tequila?” You asked, and Joe smiled, nodded. “Two tequila shots, please.”

---

The Taglisted:

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(taglist currently full, sorry)

#Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn Fanfic #Joe Quinn fanfiction #Joseph Quinn Fanfic #Joseph Quinn Fanfiction #rpf #all goes south #icallhimjoey

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