#in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter at all

[puricodraws]

Here's a long post no one asked for, but I gotta get off my chest. Lots of infodumping about Kingdom Hearts and in particular the casting of it's voice talent, so strap in y'all. So something I find very interesting is the way Square/Disney has treated the character of Kairi throughout the years. She started out as a damsel character, and was hated by very vocal group in the fanbase. I myself didn't really care about Kairi any which way, I didn't find her particularly interesting and I could understand the hate for the character like... a little bit? But what's funny to me is how that perception has changed over the years. Maybe there is still a very vocal group of people hating on Kairi on some forum I'm not aware of but I feel like the general consensus on her these days is: That's our girl. We can recognize that she is a victim of bad writing and the damsel trope. She's become a bit of un underdog in my mind. Like, treat her better Square! Come on!

The issue with Kairi is that she's just a... nothing sandwich. Kairi is a sweet girl, she likes Sora, she likes to write and makes good luck charms. She's also secretly a princess and therefore has a pure heart and can do nothing wrong. She is a little bit sassy sometimes, but not too much, she cares about her friends and will jump into danger to protect them, but most of the times she is the one who needs to be protected. She's strong, but not too strong, she's sweet and easygoing, and she's boring as hell. In the games at least... She rules in the manga.

In the game she softly lowers a bottled letter to Sora in the ocean, while in the manga she tosses it in there with all her might.

In the game she sort of runs away when Axel tries to kidnap her but in the manga she THROWS HANDS at one of the nobodies who tries to capture her.

Also later in the story when she is kidnapped by Organization XIII, she actually manages to escape for a bit by wiggling through the bars of her prison cell, and then throws hands at Demyx, who is actually trying to help her out. (the manga takes some liberties with the story, it's great you should really read it if you get the chance)

Shiro Amano actually lets her put up a fight and let her actually try to escape by herself when she's captured. Watching this girl be strong and throw hands without hesitation is so so great. Shiro Amano said: Girls should be allowed to go feral once in a while, as a treat. Also I would be amiss if I didn't mention this moment with Olette:

(In the game, Olette awkwardly and weakly puts up a hand to protect Kairi when Axel shows up in Twilight Town to kidnap her, but is just ignored in the most disrespectful way.)

Anyways, back to Kairi. It's sad to say, but her original characterization is just boring. She doesn't really want anything for herself and she doesn't really have a function in the story except to wait around for the boys to pay attention to her or get kidnapped and need to be rescued. And while in recent years the writers are finally exploring her being a keyblade weilder and having her actively participate in the story, they still just can't resist damseling the poor girl, fridging her, and putting her on the sidelines while Sora and Riku take center stage. It's great to see how the fandom's perception of her has changed over the years, people are seeing how Square has been dropping the ball and are actively rooting for Kairi to get more stuff to do. Fans are creating mods of the games to make Kairi playable, are writing fanfiction exploring role reversals where Kairi is the hero and there are several notible fan comics comics that explore her character in a really interesting way.

Anyways, now to get to the actual thing I wanted to talk about: How she's casted in the English version of the games, and how the inconsistent approach to the casting feels... a little disrespectful. Having a consistent voice for a character is something I, and many others really appreciate. It shows a level of care from the creators to bring a consistent group of actors together to bring life to the world. Now, VA's being replaced in the Kingdom Hearts series is not uncommon. The series is known for casting well known actors, and actor availability and budget are problems for which recasting is the solution. For example: Billy Zane got recast as Ansem by Richard Epcar, Brittany Snow by Meaghan Martin as Namine. And then of course there are Christopher Lee, Wayne Allwine, Leonard Nimoy and Rutger Hauer, who had to be recast because they sadly passed away. (RIP, Kings)

Like, all of that makes sense. So here's the confusing situation with Kairi:

Xion and Kairi share a VA in the JP version. This is an intentional creative decision that ties into the lore of Kingdom Hearts. Risa Uchida has consistently voiced these characters in Japanese for years and does a fabulous job.

Sadly this was not the case in the English version. Hayden Panettiere originated the role of Kairi in English, but they got Alyson Stoner to voice Xion when the character debuted in 358/2 days in 2009, which was originally a DS title. Before this they also got Alyson to voice Kairi in the re:Chain of Memories dub in 2008.

These titles were likely smaller budget, which becomes pretty obvious when you look at the overall quality and presentation of the cutscenes. In Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2 the dialogue was recorded in English and the japanese lipsynch animation were redone to match the English dialogue. This was not the case in 358/2 days. The dialogue was recorded to match the japanese lip flaps, and the animation was not altered at all to marry the two together. So availability and budget could have been an issue in getting Hayden Panettiere to record for these games. At the time I also considered the possibility that Hayden simply didn't want to do it anymore. It wouldn't have suprised me, because these things happen. Take Brittany Snow for example, after KH2 she got her big break in the Pitch Perfect films, and probably became too busy to come back as Namine. From 2006-2010 Hayden starred in the popular TV series Heroes, which could have impacted her availability and desire to do KH. And with the lower budget for these projects, and where Hayden was at in her carreer at the time, it could stand to reason that she was simply not interested. I should also mention that in this time period Kairi barely got anything to do. When she did show up it would be for a couple of lines of dialogue. As for Xion, 358/2 days on the DS had around 10 or so voiced cutscenes. So the amount of voice work needed for the character was notably smaller compared to one of the numbered games. So the amount of voice work needed, budget, and availability could all have been factors to why Alyson took over for Hayden during this time.

Now don't get me wrong: Alyson is amazing and is, as far as I'm concerned, the definitive voice for Xion. She originated the role and brought so much to the table. She has a wonderful voice, is a talented actress and we have no choice but to stan.

Before long it became apparent that Alyson replacing Hayden permanently was not on the table. In 2010 Hayden reprised her role as Kairi and took over the role of Xion in the secret ending of Birth By Sleep!

So at this point it seemed that the original creative intention for these characters would be honored. Kairi and Xion should have the same voice actress, for lore reasons, and that actress should be Hayden Panetiere, who originated the role.

And wouldn't you know it, in 2012 Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance comes out for the 3DS. It's another hand held title, but the budget is lit. There is lipsynch animation for voiced cutscenes, and the amount of voiced cutscenes is comparable to KH1, KH2 and BBS. Kairi has a few appearances, but has only one line of dialogue. Same goes for Xion, while she does get a line of dialogue near the end of the game. Hayden came in to record for Kairi and Xion and it really seemed like she would be taking over the roles from Alyson.

So obviously, at this point in time it's all but confirmed that Hayden wants to work on KH, and the creative team were making an effort to consistently bring her back as Kairi and Xion. That would be a tough deal for Alyson though, was she gonna get replaced permanently as Xion? Well wait a second and I'll tell you!

So in 2013 Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix was released. It was the first in a series of HD remasters of the Kingdom Hearts series, and the collection included KH1, KH re:Chain of Memories and around 3 hours of newly made cutscenes retelling the story of the DS game 358/2 days. Days originally featured mostly textbox cutscenes. These scenes were remade from scratch and would feature newly recorded voice acting in Japanese and English. Now I don't need to get into it but... The 358/2 days cutscene "movie" is.. not very good. It's boring to watch through, which I think is to blame entirely for the way they approached it. They remade all the cutscenes true to their original appearance, but forgot that there's no action gameplay to break up hours of dialogue scenes. The pacing is bad, the action is non existent, and what's worse is that it doesn't have adjusted lipsynch animation at all. This means the English voice acting was done to match the japanese lip flaps, resulting in awkward pauses and weird deliveries of lines.

The saving grace was that Alyson Stoner was reprising her role as Xion, recording new dialogue for the cutscenes. They also reused her previously recorded dialogue for the DS cutscenes as well. So... I guess Hayden isn't taking over Xion after all? Or perhaps it was easier to get Alyson to come back, so that they could reuse some of the original voice lines from the DS version? I can't imagine that THAT would've been the deciding factor though, because there weren't that many cutscenes from the DS version that would have to be redubbed should they get Hayden back on board. It's hard to say what the reason for this was.

But I was happy to hear Alyson as Xion in the "definitive" version of the 358/2 days story. She has a pleasant voice, and she portrays Xion beautifully in my opinion.

So then KH HD 2.5 Remix comes out in 2014 and features no new Kairi/Xion content. It does feature the Final Mix version of KH2, originally released exclusively in Japan in 2007. This version had new cutscenes, which were now finally dubbed in English for the HD remaster. What's more is they they also reanimated the lip animation to match the new English voice acting! An interesting thing to mention is that at this time, Meaghan Martin had completely taken over the role of Namine, fully replacing Brittany Snow. They luckily didn't choose to redub Brittany's original lines with Meaghan. But it does result in this funny moment where following Roxas' prologue Namine's voice is suddenly different for a single scene.

Anyways, flash forward to 2017, and the release of Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Remix, which included a brand new title by the name of, and hold on to your wigs for this one....

Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth By Sleep -A Fragmentary Passage-

This was the first look at what a next gen Kingdom Hearts title would be like. You got to play as Aqua and it was wonderful and heartbreaking and cool as hell. At the end of this game a cutscene plays where after a decade Kairi finally gets to be involved in the plot again. She is summoned by Master Yen Sid to begin her training as a keyblade weilder. And she is voiced by.... Alyson Stoner??

A few years later KH3 came out, and Alyson Stoner voices both Kairi and Xion in it. She does a great job. But it's all so confusing.

It seemed so clear that the studio's intent was to get Hayden back as Kairi, and potentially Xion as well. And KH3 was the next big budget numbered title in the franchise. The casting for this game was insane, they got the full cast of Frozen to reprise their roles. Idina Mcfreaking Menzel showed up for Kingdom Hearts! What happened to getting Hayden back? I don't get it at all. This is not to shit on Alyson at all, her Kairi is adorable, and I honestly can't imagine anybody but Alyson Stoner playing Xion. Whenever Hayden picked up the role of Xion I was excited to hear her, but it never felt quite right.

But yeah, this whole situation unfolded in the weirdest of ways. For years it seemed they were absulutely set on getting Hayden to voice these characters. Was she not available to come in for KH3? Well, to answer that question:

Apparently, Hayden wasn't even ASKED to reprise Kairi.

This could of course be a situation of her representatives getting the offer from Square/Disney and choosing not to give it to her. Which happens in Hollywood, and sucks. But there's also a very real chance that Square/Disney didn't even bother reaching out and offering it to her.

Seeing how they decided to recast Hayner, Pence and Olette in KH3, even though their actors are still working as VA's and would have likely loved reprise the roles, I'm leaning to the possibility that they simply didn't bother to reach out to Hayden.

Hell, that's what she said herself.

All in all it's an interesting series of events. It's confusing, and a bit saddening as well. I can speculate why it all happened, but who can really be sure what their reason for replacing Hayden were. Perhaps they decided to do it because they found Alyson to be a better fit for the character? I may be reading into things but there's this interview Hayden did for the release of KH2 were she talks about the recording process and how the voice directors would keep telling her to "raise her voice an octave higher and make it sound more princess like." I gotta say the way she said that irks me..... I love the way Kairi's voice sounds in KH2! Hayden has a beautiful voice, it's a bit lower and more mature sounding than your average cutie girl voice. I would have loved to hear that quality in the character moving forward. Alyson ended up doing a lighter, cuter version of Kairi in KH3. And I do enjoy how Kairi sounds in KH3. Like, it's fine, she sounds very adorable, and it's fine.

But idk man... it feels... weird. I can't help but feel as though they replaced her voice with a younger sounding one, taking away the strength and maturity of the voice that I loved so much. Effectively infantelizing her. And then of course they proceed to damsel her, fridge her, bring her back to life and put her on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.

I feel like it all ties together with how the writers see her. She's not really a main character after all, she's not a priority. After years of showing a dedication to keep her voice consistent, it was all just thrown out of the window in the end. It makes me feel like they just didn't care in the end, people would be more upset if Sora or Riku got recast, but they just assumed no one would really care about Kairi. I can't help but care though.

I just wish for a future where Kairi can become a main player in the story, and where she is allowed to grow and mature. Where she isn't used as a carrot to dangle in front of the male lead. Where she isn't kidnapped or killed off as motivation for someone else. Where she can be a girl who is not just pretty and adorable and easy going and sweet, but a girl who is strong, silly, determined and is willing to fight like hell for the things she cares about.

Where she is allowed to interact with the world around her, and discover what her place in it is. Where she can discover what she wants for herself, instead of constantly having to be something for someone else!

IDK, maybe that's too much to ask from a Kingdom Hearts game though, haha.

#long post #puri gets deep #kingdom hearts infodump #kingdom hearts #kairi #if there are any typo's in this please forgive me #tumblr is held together with scotch tape and is not loving me making such a huge post lolol #also don't take any of my feelings and speculation as facts it's just how i feel #in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter at all #and i'm sure hayden is not losing any sleep over this #but i just had to get it off my chest

[mumbledramblings]

vash and knives are each other's antithesis not because vash is kind and knives is cruel, but because vash thinks the best of people and knives thinks the worst

#trigun #millions knives #vash the stampede #mid writes #thinking specifically the 98 versions but i guess could apply to the others too #sorry i saw dark fic with knives and thought he would NOT fucking do that #like he's terrible and awful and i dont like him but he would NOT do that in particular #knives hates humans so much specifically because he's seen and heard of them do such cruel and terrible things #and that makes them all unworthy of living in his eyes #which is fucked up but understandable #but im also of the firm belief that “accurate characterization” really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things #and everyone will interpret the same character differently so like who cares #keep it up #make me madder #the world is your oyster and i am just a guy on the internet #mid once again putting genuine character analysis in the tags where no one will read it

[protect-namine]

I find that jj gives you maybe too much freedom to choose who to hang out with sometimes. you'll just randomly see kai carrying a bunch of books, and you'd think that's just neji being neji. but if you happen to hang out with neji a few weekends prior, you'll know it's because enishi caught on to him making a mini library of his own. and in neji's character story, which happens during the newcomers' performance arc, apparently mitsuki already reprimanded neji before about making kai his errand boy lol. but you could easily miss all of that if you were just hanging out with one person!! fascinating, but also frustrating lol

#mine musings #liveblogging jj #not to mention!! so many random events!!! #and by random i mean they really are at the mercy of rng!!! #well these are all hangouts but i feel like i only happened upon this sequence of events by chance #which i guess doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things #but it's cool that they do connect yknow? makes me wonder what else i might have missed

[reginalds]

I'm never going to find this post again because tumblr's search function is fucked BUT there was a post that was doing the rounds years ago about boromir and about loving him more as you grow older and you see yourself in him and in his failures and in his humanity

does anyone know the post I'm talking about?

#boromir #lord of the rings #I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things but losing my blog still devastates me skdjdjsj there's so much I've lost track of #all those personal posts gone all that history gone and I CAN'T FIND THIS ONE SPECIFIC BOROMIR POST fuck.

[an-unraveling-unknown]

I'm interested in Deimos, in general, care to ellaborate on them?

(what's their taste favorite food?)

YES ABSOLUTELY (bit of a long one again, sorry!)

Deimos, as previously stated, is the Embodiment of Human Fear - human fear specifically, being a result of rather than a wielder (as all the embodiments are really) and only coming into existence once homo sapiens became a thing (twice), but he is the fear by all accounts. Some miscellaneous stuff: 1. Essentially retired by this point in terms of his title. The Embodiments as a whole used to be a lot more 'around' per se, but the lot of them all kind of split off and humans do all the fear-mongering for him now, which is both fascinating and sad.

2. Bit of a bastard (/aff), likes to poke fun in his own eloquent way but knows when to back off. Maybe backs off a little too often, he prefers to avoid conflict when the option is available. Can and will read anyone like a picture book made for five y/o's and is a huge Shakespeare nerd (which probably has something to do with a chance encounter in London circa. 1592) 3. He's gone by countless names and forms, and the very notion of sticking to binary gender is laughable, (though he/him is the latest preference,) but 'Deimos' kind of became the default after Locke threw it at him as a nickname and it stuck 4. He's fond of referencing pop culture, (something of which Locke has no hope of ever understanding,) but it's either pop culture thats slightly too old for the current age or slightly too new. Slightly too old is self-explanatory, but what I mean by slightly too new is that since its naturally ingrained in him to pick up on the social patterns of humans, he will slightly nudge something forward in the public consciousness attuning to those patterns that will inevitably pick up in popularity because he finds it incredibly amusing. 5. Alas, he can't take credit for TikTok trends 6. Literally radiates terror to anything in a five mile radius that isn't dead. When he and Locke used to meet up in various points in history, they'd meet at around midnight to early morning as to not alert the local population, which unfortunately had the additional consequence of freaking out the local wildlife. Locke had to reason with the outraged birds that they could sing at dusk instead, saying that its just like morning but backwards. It took much convincing every time. and a hefty bribe of seeds. 7. Found the Woods a little while after he and Locke split up for the last time. To his knowledge, this vast stretch of wooded area somehow exists in several places simultaneously all over the globe while also not technically existing at all, looking at a decent map. Those that enter with good intentions exit, and those who enter without seem to blip off the face of the earth. It's usually pretty silent. And theres a big hecking house plop in the middle of it in pristine condition, looking wildly different in appearance depending on who's looking at it - so naturally he sets up camp in it and stays there for the next 300-something years 8. HAVE SOME CONCEPT ART, he does little things with his appearance every now and then for fun (colorful markings, scales, runic symbols, that sort of thing) but generally keeps up the base appearance of not quite fitting in seamlessly with reality, like a memory blurred around the edges.

the odd cross where his face should be is to remind myself where the heck he's looking lmao (he likes dressing casual-fancy because it makes him feel sophisticated) 9. He was close with another embodiment of fear early on in his existence - Phobos was moreso the reaction to fear and wasn't restricted to just humans for Some Reason. The two of them haven't spoken in ages though, for good cause. 10. He was debating reaching out to Locke for a while before they ended up in the woods themselves- despite his own interests, he's always preferred to let them do what they wish, especially given the extenuating circumstances 11. However, these extenuating circumstances say nothing on a plethora of curious children dragging the android in to stay a while (12. he doesn't really need to eat, and he has to fashion a whole digestive system for that, but Deimos does have a fondness for sweets - pastry items, chocolate, you name it. He'd also never admit it in front of the children ever)

#also- Serial adopter. This man cannot help himself #he collects children like pokemon cards #mind- all of them are A. dead or B. not even remotely human #but that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things #either way he would destroy the world for the lot of them #i have no idea if i've made this interesting so my bad if its not!! i have a tendency to just throw everything out there lol #this stuff is all sort of in a limbo development stage so it may be a little sparse #let me know if you have any questions!! thank you for humoring me and my ramblings this has been a delight #many hugs to you friend :D

[handgiven]

it's genuinely something that aids my mental health so much to imagine a being that's seen the beginning and the end of the world, a being that's seen the best and the worst of what humanity can offer, a being that's had all the time in the universre to ponder about a purpose, and about the meaning of existence, and whose very simple response is just. be kind. in the long run, none of the other things matter. what matters is to allow your soul to blossom into something as beautiful as it can be, through little acts of kindness, whenever you are able. that's enough.

#ooc tbt #he doesn't see the point in fighting one another. or even in creating distinct sides because. #in the grand scheme of things every bit of discord is just such a miniscule thing. #its not just that he chooses kindness blindly because he was made this way and because he doesnt know any better #but he chooses it over and over and over again because he's seen all of everything and saw kindness as the golden thread through it all. #because in a universe of indifference it's easy to go blind and deaf. but kindness can bring such gentle ringing tone in your ear #such spark in your eye. and it matters more than anything. #and this goes hand in hand with his forgiveness. he will absolutely tolerate people going off at him. yelling at him. being upset. #even doing Bad Things. because he knows that if he shows them kindness they are likely to reflect it back. #and what better way to give back to the universe? #idk if any of this makes any sense but. emmanuel genuinely is so unshaken in his hope in the best in everyone. #it surprises even me time and time again. even though i know it stems from this place that makes so much sense. #still it's such a lovely surprise every time.

[thelibraryiscool]

what my committee doesn't understand (for the better?) is that this silly dissertation doesn't matter to me

#maybe that means i actually should just do what they tell me with it because it doesn't matter #like in the grand scheme of things the dissertation is not important at all as things go #allie talks #adventures in academia #i guess

[sennqu]

the sticking point for me is like....a lot of the IH takes are based on subtext. so it's kind of...like, he's doing these things because of IH. it's not, "it's IH because he's doing these things".

the thing is, it's hard to accept if you're a byler shipper but Mike does think he is in love with el. That is what the text is telling us. What the text is also likely telling us is that his love isn't romantic, but Mike doesn't know that.

just wrote these like stream of consciousness style so, ya know. kinda messy. but here we go, a play by play complete with examples from the text! because i like to base my analysis from the text.

he's afraid of his feelings for will. where? when he defended will's honor against homophobic bullies? when he stayed up to wait for will waking up? when he says he was the only one who cared about finding will? when he stayed with will for days at his home and the hospital? when he held will's hand? when he, as we keep saying, keeps making heart eyes at will?

he doesn't know what he feels about will but unconsciously feels it is "wrong". where? when he told will his girlfriend and will's savior wasn't a stupid girl? when he asked will if he really thought they wouldn't have girlfriends and grow up because will was being childish about insisting on playing a game while his friends were worrying about their girlfriends? when he and will spent a day at the cinema next to each other and mike's only moment of discomfort was when he thought will wasn't ok? when mike was angry at will for not reaching out more after moving to cali? when he told will "it's not hawkins without you"? "i feel like i lost you"? when he immediately goes to hug his mom after the byers and el move away?

ok so he doesn't want to break up with el because he's afraid of hurting her. when he insensitively told her "she didn't look fine" after she physically assaulted angela? when he told el, "you're being ridiculous"? Mike tries not to intentionally hurt people but he's not above thinking he's in the right and acting on that impulse.

he wants to stay with el because he wants to be normal. when he already thinks he doesn't deserve her? when he thinks el doesn't need him? what is it about him thinking he can't even be the lois lane to el's superman makes you think this guy is gunning for normal? he's insecure because he IS normal. and el's a superhero

mike wants to stay with el because he loves her and doesn't want to lose her in his life. it's not about thinking el fixes him or about thinking el needs him to stay to be happy. mike wants to stay with el because he believes he's in love with her but is afraid el doesn't need him and may even realize she's now beyond him. he practically spells this out for us in S4. he only begins to regain his confidence when he thinks el needs him after all. because of will. whose feelings he doesn't know. because he thinks they're el's.

mike's monologue is him trying to tell el he loves her in the way he thinks she'll understand and appreciate: praising her superheroism because that is what he thinks she wants and because that's what he loves about her. then why did he hesitate? because he was still insecure about her being a superhero and him just being some guy. one pep talk isn't gonna magically fix his insecurity. then why the cliches? because he thinks she'll understand that better? because he doesn't actually know her beyond these cliches? because he doesn't realize his romantic love for her is superficial?

bonus: "then what about the kiss in front of the open closet? he obviously looks like he doesn't love her there. plus, you know. open closet" he looks like he was surprised. literally that was it. he and el don't talk about their relationship for 3 months and she suddenly goes "ILY too muah" before she moves away. his ex tells him she loves him back 3 months later just before she moves. what does he do with that? he's only like 14 years old.

#ku blarghs #strangely blogging #contrary to popular belief i was not angry while writing this lmao #i'm just trying to get everything out #ku why do you care about this so much? why not. defending mike against IH allegations is a good mental workout #also not all people deal with IH. people are saying they see their own IH experience reflected in him #i say i see my own dumbass oblivious self in him. and i think the text sides with me. #but truly in the grand scheme of things it just doesn't matter #since we don't actually 100% know where S5 is going to take us #but so far. text points to oblivious mike. and it's a hill i'm willing to die on #you gotta pick your silly battles #byler #like why not. i was already asking for it earlier lmao

[sigurism]

I miss sharing my LOVE for these four. I extend that same love to those who made it impossible for me.

And the heart-warming flip side to this ugly outcome?

I will say that the fandom for my man Luca Marinelli has been the most true, the most loyal, the most respectful group of people I have ever encountered in all of my time here and it's been quite a while. I have gone through many fandoms and this one tops them all. Sometimes I'm completely in awe at the levels of respect this whole fandom gets into.

Hand to heart, thank you to the fans of Luca. He is truly blessed to have such incredible people behind him, supporting his work. He would be proud.

American Gods... or should I say fans for my Mad Love, you may just be second to none. You have actually appreciated my contributions to your MADdeningly sexy and wondrous Sweeney fandom and I have gotten the most loveliest feedback and gained the most wonderfullest of fans. Pablo, you have the best of the best on your side.

At least I ended this on a good note. I think.

#is this the bitchiest post of them all? #just giving credit where it's due #YOU #you and YOUUUU #and you know who you are #don't make this world a better place #i've had to push it aside so many times because in the grand scheme things it seems so petty #or maybe i've gotten used to many saying it doesn't matter #nothing matters #if nothing ever did... then why are we here? #but the little things that hold that big thing together? that's what i mean #like little seeds of happiness that we plant #and when it blooms and spreads its love... that's the other thing i mean #and these little bouts of happiness mean something #the first one really hurts right now #there #i said it i said it i said it #maybe i'm just purging this shit before i stop altogether #george parker #henry ashe #tom sturridge #dream of the endless #the sandman #boyd holbrook #the corinthian #corinthian #pedro pascal #luca marinelli #pablo schreiber #mad sweeney

[carolmunson]

Actually, your take on Eddie is not entirely accurate. Just listening to metal in the 80s automatically made you a bad person, and you were seen as violent without having done a violent thing in your life. Satanic panic in the 80s was no joke. It happened, and it was way more prevalent in smaller towns. If something bad happened in that town, metal heads were the first to be blamed, no matter what. It didn't matter what kind of person we really were, just how we looked. Sounds familiar to how people see some circles of society today. I grew up with the Eddie Munson’s of the world, and they were tough and sometimes could be mean, but we had the whole world against us, including the government. We had to act scary, just to protect ourselves. But they were good people, and they saved my life.

P.s. not all drug dealers are bad either

Just my opinion, but I also lived it.

you guys are really stuck on the drug dealers thing. to clear some things up here, most of my friends growing up were drug dealers and more than one person in my family dealt the heavy stuff, i know they aren't bad people lmao. you're also saying a lot of what i said in my post. so we aren't really differing that heavily in opinion. but like, did you see how he shoved steve against the wall with the broken bottle? he definitely had to have gotten in a scuffle or two. (and looked REALLY HOT while doing it might i add).

as i said in my post, my character analysis isn't law -- i'm not the duffers and also, the guy had 40 minutes of screen time max. you can 'actually' me about how 'not accurate' i am about how i interpereted a character but simply put:

#it's all love here seriously #like how i interpreted this character and my thoughts on him are just like what they are #they don't mean anything #it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things!

[sheepon]

I'm stuck thinking about bugs!! Hobby entomologist rant!!!

When I move I have to leave my collection behind for biosecurity reasons, so I'm looking up info on collecting etiquette for Tasmania. The laws, permits needed, etc. In the US, there are plenty of state parks and forests that are chill with you insect collecting, foraging, and sometimes even taking plants home to plant. In Tas, it looks like this is very much not the case. I'm left thinking about my hobby. I love it. I love catching bugs, I think it's a ton of fun. I love spending time pinning them, the care it takes and being able to see all kinds of detail on them that's so much harder to see from afar. I love that it gets me out in nature, I love spotting new ones, I love that it makes me research and ID them. And as I've starting collecting only very sparingly now that it's not for classes, I love that each specimen reminds me of a time and place. I hold so dearly the funny little guys from my sand dunes trip in Colorado the other year! I will miss them :c tachinid fly, my beloved... On the other hand, I am killing living things for hobby. I am selfishly taking lives in order to obtain their bodies. On the other other hand, I've got excuses in my brain. I'm labelling everything meticulously so I can donate them when needed! And insects are r-selected! There are so many, because so many will die anyway! And I kill so, so many more insects when I drive my car out to go hiking, or when I walk around, or when I accidently let one fly into a building it'll never find its way out of. Really I guess I'm just uncomfortable because I want to keep doing this hobby even though I know it's kind of selfish and maybe wrong. And I have a gut feeling that maybe Tasmanian bug nerds might maybe look down on me for it. It feels like it'd be more forgivable if I at least had a spine about it. It's not lost on me though, that I don't really feel bad about fishing. Somehow it's forgivable if you at least are going to eat what you kill. Even though that means I'd kill more trout in my lifetime than I'll ever kill any single species of insect. Ough.

#journal #entomology #long post #I am cursed to have a brain that won't shut the fuck up #about stuff that if I stepped back at all #I'd probably see that it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things

[despair-ninja-everything-agency]

I'm so fucking tired. I wanna vent but Idk where to output it. So fuck it, just this once, Imma get political and bring real life issue to fandom spaces.

I wish the Warrior of Light is real.

They liberated 2 nations under oppression of a tyrannical Empire and yet here we stand, at the other end of the screen, as a Nation mercilessly laid waste to the ground for God knows how long as World leaders keep their silence and smallfolks are powerless to help but by some donations - that is if they managed to reach them - and a few brave souls who lend their aids to them even if it cost them their lives (and it did. It still is 'till now.)

Fuck Israel. I always scrutinizing their occupation in Palestine ever since I was a kid and still now. I was powerless then, and now - barely knowing the world of having a job - all I could offer is a few donations (if I could find links to them) and some prayers.

Expect reblogs pretaining this issue in the near future. You can block 'DN gets serious' if you don't want them to appear in your dash. I'm not gonna guilt trip you from wanting to avoid irl stuffs.

#Palestine #Free Palestine #Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy XIV #FFXIV #DN gets serious #God I just hope Dawntrail doesn't devolve into colonialization... #it's bad than and it's bad now #for real reading all of this tragedy about Palestine makes my blood boil #no water no electricity always constantly living in fear #Fuck Garlemald's occupation in Ala Mhigo and Doma are still MILES BETTER than whatever the fuck this is #I will continue to educate myself on this matter #it's one of those time where you wish Main Character syndrome is beneficial for once but alas I'm but an NPC in the grand scheme of things #I'm not tagging that cursed other nation they don't deserve to have one #reading the current 'you may also like' hurts but I need to know the state of the World as well #I remember seeing an ad on TV about helping Palestine from Israel's bullshits when I was a kid #not even double digits yet back then

[sheyshen]

played around today to get some height comparison refs for my xiv pairs and put some of my ocs in some fits that I think suit them and would be feasible for me to get eventually! (only thing not accurate to how i draw them is my poor azem's hair. sorry ma'am)

featuring: Raya/Thancred, Azem/Emet/Hyth W'nhea/Estinien, W'shana/Leofard Einar/Aymeric, Shey/Hien Gerel/Magnai, Layla/G'raha Lina/Hancock, Ria/Yugiri and then my crew of solo ocs: Ryse, Beni, and Altan

#the altoholism returns in this game too lol #i dunno when or if i'll get to leveling them all but that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things #the important thing is i'm having fun and also the hyperfixation is going strong #i was originally going to give beni a different outfit but honestly i liked the idea of barista gone off the rails vibe for her so it stuck #gerel is max height why are au ra ladies so small????? is magnai just that big of a dude??? #i should've put her next to her brother when i was playing this cause now i'm curious lol

[niteview]

i've been following wonho for like 5 years now and i've also spent more time w/ mx without him than w/ him at this point. it is getting rlly tired when some mbbs keep asking him (and it is mostly him btw) mx-related things. he is more than his start w/ mx now if you can't grasp that okay but ppl need to stop bombarding him w/ stuff abt it. he's a soloist. his redebut was announced over two years ago.

i'm not saying it was easy to let the mx wonho go bc it was hard, i honestly had a bit of a tough time w/ it at first. and i'm also not saying that i don't miss them together at all either, of course i miss seeing them together but those thoughts can and do coexist. i just don't pester him w/ that kind of stuff lmao

so like it's july 2022, oct. 2019 was almost three years ago. it's time to move on w/ mx & soloist wh or just mx or just wh what have you. keep 2015-19 as fond memories but it's time to look ahead.

#this has been bubbling up for the past 2 years ik this all doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things but i had to get it off #my chest. #appreciate everything he Can do and does do for his fans bc he rlly does a lot right #if you can't move on w/e that looks like for you then at the bare minimum don't spam his comments w/ unrelated things right #idk if this'll make me very popular djdjf but i can't care this is what i feel

[heartshapedracetrack]

Literally hate football so much for being so money hungry and morally corrupt

#like thanks a lot for making me feel bad and so conflicted #i really don't want to watch the World cup because of all the controversy #but at the same time? yes i want to watch and also ... i already watch normal football #which also has ties to assholes and i did watch russia 2018 #was that morally better? only slightly #i'm watching f1 which also .... questionable #this is giving me headaches and i hate being part of this but also how to stop? #i guess it all comes down to being so insignificant in the grand schemes of things #i mean at what point do i have to draw the line? #because actually no sports ever would be the optimal solution #but it doesn't matter !!! i really hope that at least there'll be focus on the fact human rights are important which is good #but also WHY not just choose another country that's at least considered safe for everyone lol #yes i know it's 'first world' problems but it's on my mind i guess #and that's my diary right here

[piplupod]

note to self: trying to educate people online never goes anywhere because people are generally unwilling to learn and are only going to take you in bad faith apparently, and you will just end up fixating on it for days (potentially weeks) afterwards to the point that it causes paranoia episodes and panic attacks and you are unable to leave the house

(if anyone knows how to like... reset brain after upsetting encounters, I would be incredibly grateful if you could share tips/advice/etc)

#tried to stick up for pwNPD and everyone just accused me of being a ''sneaky narcissist'' or ''a narc feeling attacked'' #like. no. we don't have NPD lol. #also you sound like you're from a cartoon. ''sneaky narcissist'' is the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a bit LMAO #do you thing pwNPD are cartoon villains??? I'm fucking going insane jfc I'm so sick of this shit #you try to stick up for pwNPD or people w psychotic disorders and you get accused of being ''one of their kind'' like ?? hello??? #I've been so upset all day and this is not healthy for us to do probably but god I hate letting that kind of thing slide #if we don't speak up then who will? thats my worry! if we all stay silent then who's going to speak out? #but we're not going to change the world lol we're a traumatized dysfunctional clowncar and- #-our voice doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. really tired and upset that ppl get to get away w thinking such awful things tho #and perpetuatig harmful rhetoric against personality disorders and disorders that fucking form from trauma and abuse jfc #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #cal's posts