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needletail · 3 years

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Nintendogs vs Nintendogs + Cats: a review and comparison.

There’s no doubt that most people want a new Nintendogs game for the Nintendo Switch. But when I see these posts, very few of them are referencing the 3ds variant of the game, but rather the original ds version that everyone continues to know and love.

The addition of cats is Nintendogs + Cats’ most notable feature. It was, while cute and fun for a short period of time, notably worse than its predecessor. But why is that? The formula stayed roughly the same, but the charm didn’t quite hit.

Before we dive into this: these are my opinions on the games, and personal comparisons. Every person experiences things differently, and will likely have different opinions.

We can start with breaking down the original Nintendogs. The graphics have not aged well, but the charm and entertainment factor have. While replaying, I found that the general ambience and the music used endeared me further to the game, and I wanted to play more. The half hour timer on going for walks was frustrating (as was the stamina system), but it otherwise engaged me more to figure out where I wanted to go. The map feels surprisingly big with so much to do, and the side-scrolling walk screen keeps the mystery alive in what you’ll encounter. The competitions were fun and the voice recognition system may have been even better than the 3ds incarnation. The only thing that really suffered were the graphics - but this game is 15 years old and this was advanced for its time, so we can let that slide. The dogs can be a little strange to look at at times, but they’re expressive and distinct, which is what matters in a pet simulator.

The information you can take in is optional, but an exciting part of the game for those who are interested. Your dog’s profile is detailed but easy to understand, going as far as to tell you what it ate last. There’s something so charming about it being displayed as if it were a document you had in front of you - it brings another element of immersion into this sim.

[Image ID: a photograph of the informational sheet on Nintendogs. It includes the name, gender, breed, trainer, time together, coat, hunger, thirst, and things eaten. The trick list and contest results are also on this screen.]

From cars passing by to horns in the distance and dog barks from somewhere vaguely nearby, the sound design of Nintendogs is audibly aged, but still strong. The few tracks spread in the game are iconic, and stay in my head a lot longer than I’d like to admit.

The competitions are another huge highlight of the original nintendogs. The banter between the hosts, Ted and Archie, is something that continues to be remembered. Everyone’s seen the line “you make me feel like a man, Archie”, and the banter they keep up in each competition is less like a mindless tapping chore and just more entertainment. The settings are surprisingly realistic - less so on the obedience, but the ring set up for agility certainly is. The balance between realism and fun is another part of why Nintendogs appealed to all audiences.

Agility is my personal favourite event, and the same goes for a lot of people I’ve met. There’s a level of interactivity here that isn’t met by the successor (something we’ll touch on later). Guiding your dog over hurdles and through tunnels, and later having to balance speed with accuracy - it’s an event that keeps you, the player, engaged. It becomes a sort of fine art once you hit the Championship level, as your dog, by that point, is likely going to be very fast and have a mind of its own, often trying to predict which obstacles it’s going to go through.

[Image ID: an angled photograph of the starter agility training course. The dog is laying on the green, and the hurdles and tunnels are in view.]

Disc is in both versions, and is fun in its own way. I, personally, don’t tend to use the disc competition - in the original Nintendogs, the projectiles can be a little speedier than you intend them to be, and the dogs are a little too determined to hold onto their toys. But, with a well-trained dog, this event can be as fun as anything else. In the original, you didn’t have to contend with the other dogs - something that I’ve grown to appreciate over the years. But, like with the event that removed Agility, I’ll be looking at how the changes fared later.

Obedience is held on a stage, and is a fun event for people who take the time to train their dogs. Your dog can typically learn three or four tricks a day (depending on the dog), and between the tricks listed in the Obedience Guide Book and the unlisted tricks that your dog can learn, you can usually blow the competition out of the park. It definitely requires the most time and effort out of all of the events, and it can be frustrating if your dog suddenly stops listening - but the rewards are surprisingly good. It’s always fun to have a well-trained Nintendog, if only because showing them off when I was a child was my favourite thing to do.

Obviously, competitions are the main money-makers in these games. Tackle a solid few of them, and you’ll find yourself able to afford another dog or two. Though your room is limited to three dogs, there’s also a Hotel to keep some other dogs in. As time progresses and you gain more of a bond with your dog(s), you’ll unlock more breeds.

Something that went over my head when I was a child was the method to unlock Jack Russells, specifically. You need to find an incredibly rare book - something which I don’t ever recall doing, and still haven’t. I found this information via the wikia, so I’m not too sure how accurate is, but it is an interesting breed to lock behind a time and patience-based method.

[Image ID: an angled image of a German Shepherd laying on its side. In the corner is an idea bubble.]

Overall, Nintendogs is a solid and fun pet simulator, and it’s clear why so many people have such good memories. The dogs are filled with personality (even being expressive enough to show you when they’re angry vs happy), the competitions are engaging, and though the format will become stale after playing daily for a long time, it’s always a fun game to come back to after a period of time.

Which is why it’s unsurprisingly that it gained a sequel.

I remember being ecstatic when Nintendogs + Cats was shown in advertisements on television. When I got the 3ds, I also got a copy of Nintendogs + Cats. The Golden Retriever version, specifically, but I do own all three. For some reason? As people got bored with it, they usually gifted me them.

At first blush, it’s almost as charming as the original. The graphics style handles much better than the original, with slightly more realistic movements, and less cardboard-y models. I much prefer the Nintendogs + Cats models to the originals, for obvious reasons - though their movements can be a little repetitive and strange at times, and a lot less expressive than the originals. But that said, I much prefer the Kennel system of petting and exploring the dogs and their behaviours (limited as they are) before you adopt, and I enjoy sorting through colours or getting unique colours/patterns. The rare white variants used to be my obsession, as a child.

[Image ID: a german shepherd holding a present in Nintendogs + Cats. The model is significantly better than the original Nintendogs model.]

Immediately, though, there’s a lot less ambience in Nintendogs + Cats. I play with my volume up all the way, and it’s typically just my dogs and cat making noises. I miss the cars going by and the general background noise that the game can provide. It feels just a little too silent, and the music tracks are repetitive and unmemorable for the most part. Obviously sound design don’t make or break the game, so I won’t harp on this point for too long.

The gameplay is...fine? I’m not a fan of petting a shadow of my dog, but I understand they did that for 3D purposes (something which most people didn’t use, to the point that the 2DS was made. I play on a 2DS). The camera control is an incredibly nice feature to have, the showering minigame is a little more thorough. They didn’t really add anything to the care features, though. If anything, they took away a lot of experiences - reading the care books and instead guiding you through the tricks one by one instead of as you want, forcing you to learn a specific set of tricks before you can move on to the next ones. The game is far more hand-holdy, which can be frustrating at multiple points. But, hey. There’s cats! Let’s talk about the cats.

What’s their purpose? Not much. Which is fine, although they take up a slot in your three-pet designation. As cute as the cats are, they definitely got done dirty. There’s three selections to choose from (Standard, Oriental, and Long-hair), with multiple colours, but not much depth beyond that. Obviously, the cats were just a cute addition - I do like having my little cat wandering around the house with my two dogs, and I know from past experiences that once you bond with the cat, it’ll go out and get presents for you if you leave your ds on. Gaining affection with the cats is very slow-going and if you’re someone who likes your pet simulations to be more interactive, it might be wiser to stick with the dogs. I’m not complaining against the addition of cats - it just could’ve been done much smoother, with better mechanics enabled. Be it adding some breeds and a proper grooming minigame to maintain them, or the ability to train them but have them be much harder than the dogs. There were many ways to put cats into the game, and I just don’t think they hit as intended.

So, how did they do with the competitions? Well.

The short answer: they’re pretty bland, and a downgrade from the original. The long answer...

[Image ID: a white cocker spaniel chewing on a banana lure.]

In the competitions, there’s no more Ted/Archie banter. It’s just Ted. Doing his thing. I honestly do not read the text for this game, and instead tap quickly to progress to the events.

Replacing Agility comes Lure Coursing. I’m not sure about other countries, but that’s an incredibly niche section of dog sporting here, and it’s also notorious for being...very boring. And in the game, it lives up to that. Instead of guiding your dog through obstacles, you wind the cog of a lure and honk it to get the dog to follow it. Sometimes you honk it to get them over hurdles. I have to admit, I usually space out when I’m training my dogs with this - it’s an easy moneymaker once you’ve trained them up to Nintendogs Cup level, but it’s easily the most mind-numbing event. Anything would’ve been better. If they didn’t want to implement Agility, there are other dog sports that could’ve suited well; guiding your dog through the Flyball course and using its name to bring it back until it could do it on command (maybe even utilising a team of three, for reason as to why you can have up to three dogs), or sledding, using your dog to pull a lightweight sled (on wheels) through a course in a race against other dogs (or, again, even using your trio). There could have even been scenting sport in which you teach your dog how to scent and go off to find a mark, or herding. The point is: lure coursing is the most unengaging thing to put in a game.

The Disc competition barely changes, so I won’t say much. I don’t particularly enjoy having the other dogs in the ring to compete with as it becomes all too easy for them to interfere heavily with your own dog, but I understand why it was implemented and know that a lot of people enjoy it. I prefer the throwing speed and the control you can have over the disc, and will admit that overall, the Disc competition is generally improved.

But then you come to the Obedience Trial. AR Cards are mandatory. You don’t have a surface to put your AR Cards on, or lost them years ago? Then you can’t do it. I actually ordered AR Cards, having thrown out my old ones due to damages and general...lack of use. As of this post, I have been unable to play the Obedience Trial, so I can’t say much on whether the system has improved. I do know that AR Cards can work on a laptop screen or something similar, but the 3ds camera is pretty horrible and can glitch out, making it unreliable for screen-based AR cards. Unfortunately.

[Image ID: a white cocker spaniel standing on an AR Card.]

The walking system is fine. I love being able to go to different routes (as limited as they can be - but the original was no saint to repetitiveness once you knew the whole map), and I like having to go between grass patches, with a chance for a surprise present. I think the addition of the BARC stores are a cute touch, and the Miis walking their own dogs are cute, too. The interactions between your dog and theirs is based on your dog’s personality as well as theirs, which makes sense - but there’s basically three outcomes. More than the original, but meeting with other dogs tends to be to see if you can backtrack when you’re near the end of the walk by having them invite you to the cafe or park, or to get presents from Streetpass miis. I like the cone minigame to test your control over the dog and its leash, and as a rule, I just...like it. It’s relaxing. I don’t prefer it over the original, but I don’t prefer the original over it. They both have their benefits and downfalls. The biggest upside to + Cats’ system is that you can take your dog on as many walks as you want.

Interactivity isn’t really a thing, with + Cats. Whereas in the original you could legitimately piss off your dog and it would bark and snarl at you for a while before you regained its trust, this game doesn’t punish you for much. I poked and prodded at my dog for a while, and it didn’t really do much for me. This is a game where you sort of just have cute looking models that hold up surprisingly well for their time, and that’s it. There’s not much game to the game, as it were - and that’s from a game where the gameplay was limited as it was.

Adding multiple accessories to your pets is a very nice addition, albeit expected. Overall, though, the gameplay has been significantly dumbed down and while I understand that kids play it, my generation played Nintendogs as small children and we got by just fine. It’s a very intuitive game, and it’s almost insulting how little Nintendogs + Cats thinks of its audience.

Another nice addition to Nintendogs + Cats, though, is body type for your pets. There’s a few that your pet can be: underfed, skinny, optimal, plump, and overfed. I usually have optimal dogs, but apparently plump and overfed dogs run slower and as such they do poorer in competitions, which is a pretty neat feature to have in-game.

In the short of it, Nintendogs + Cats is fine, but Nintendogs (the original) is Good. I have a lot more nostalgia for Nintendogs which may cloud my opinion, but playing it in 2020 is still fun, and I’m especially happy to play the Agility competition.

For an interactive pet simulator with fun competitions and plenty to do, Nintendogs is the way to go. For a pretty enough game with simplistic gameplay, Nintendogs + Cats is the way to go.

Both games have their perks, but I certainly have a clear favourite. If a Switch edition of Nintendogs ever happened, I’d much prefer the original style with some of the quality of life changes made in the successor. In the end, it’s all up to what you’re looking for in a game - but as someone who’s looking for a fun time, I’m a sucker for the originals.

(Note: I have not played the knock-off Nintendogs for Switch, and would appreciate input on if it’s worth buying or not. Reviews are poor at best, as far as I can tell, though.)

#nintendogs #nintendogs + cats #video games #game review #eph reviews

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puppypaw-wc · 3 years

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random rhythm heaven facts i know off the top of my head for some reason

uh i’m bored so. have random rhythm heaven facts that i just. know. for some reason.

despite being the only game in the series to not have any lyrical remixes, ds is tied with fever for the most original lyrical songs, with each having five. ds has thrilling! is this love?, love ooh ooh paradise, young love rock n’ roll, struck by the rain, and that’s paradise; fever has tonight, lonely storm, dreams of our generation, i love you my one and only, and beautiful one day.

i emphasize “original” because without that, megamix beats fever and ds, having around eleven lyrical songs in total; only counting original lyrical songs, megamix has three (tokimeki no story/lush remix’s music, i’m a lady now/honeybee remix’s music, and um. whatever machine remix’s song is. in the english version though it only has one original lyrical song).

tengoku has four lyrical songs: karate man’s song (which like. idk if it even has a name- does it get name privileges-), the bon odori, honey sweet angel of love, and wish - can’t wait for you.

the fastest song is in ds; big rock finish c’s bpm is 290. the second fastest is also a ds game, namely remix 4, with,,, i believe 222 bpm?

the slowest game is built to scale and built to scale 2; at their slowest, their bpm is 60.

while endless games’ bpm is all over the place due to speeding up, clap trap literally has no (or at least no known) bpm. somehow.

no i don’t know anything about music.

i do, though, know remix 10′s bpm off the top of my head. it’s 166 in case you were curious. remix 10 ds’ bpm is 160. remix 6,,, it’s 138.7 or something like that? idk the exact decimal number. left-hand remix’s bpm is 120 i think. i have no idea on right-hand remix’s. and final remix starts at 160 bpm, increases to 170 at the end, and finally, ends at 180 bpm.

i have memorized the controls for literally every game. no i will not list them here because that’d take too long.

lockstep is the only ds keep-the-beat game to not have flick controls.

barelys (early/late inputs that are too early/late to count as hits) usually count as misses, but there’s a few exceptions to this:

some games will have barelys allow you to pass the practice, but then not actually count in the game itself. the main offender of this is flipper-flop. flipper-flop’s barelys make it so hard to perfect dear god-

in ds, three games’ perfect campaigns count barelys as hits, those being shoot-’em-up, frog hop, and lockstep. despite this, they still count as misses when playing normally, meaning you can get a perfect that wouldn’t be a superb. that always happens to me when i play lockstep 2.

most games have clear indicators for when you got a barely, though some are relatively similar to a miss, but some games have literally no indicator of barelys. unsurprisingly, all but one are in ds:

the games in question are glee club (sometimes; i’m guessing it’s when it’s still a barely but it’s right on the line between barely and early/late hit) moai doo-wop, love lizards, space soccer, and, in fever, shrimp shuffle. this means that a perfect campaign can end despite everything seeming completely fine. (sometimes you can tell you got it wrong, but it can be difficult, personally the only one i can tell in is shrimp shuffle and also space soccer sometimes).

barelys always count as misses in megamix. due to this, barelys mess up perfects on shoot-’em-up, frog hop, and lockstep. yet for some reason, barelys still let you pass flipper-flop’s practice. i have no idea why since in literally every other instance they’re a fail, but they do.

there’s like three beats for keep-the-beat games (games where you have to press a/tap/whatever every beat). this is easily seen in megamix’s final remix, where there’s a part where it smoothly transitions between flock step, frog hop, and bunny hop, and then cues you into marching orders (which is likely just due to the bunny hop part ending with a long jump).

the main beat is shared between almost every keep-the-beat game. all the undeniable keep-the-beat games use it.

rhythm rally and air rally,,, i think both have the same beat? i don’t know though. i don’t know if either of them can even count as keep-the-beat games tbh.

donk-donk and shrimp shuffle both have unique beats, which i guess brings it up to four different beats.

yet again, no, i do not know what any of this means.

there’s eight karate man games (both of tengoku’s, both of ds’, both of fever’s, and both of megamix’s original karate man games). a karate man game has appeared in literally every game and i don’t know why.

fan club’s bpm is like 132 or something like that? i mean that’s at least what rhythm heaven remix editor says the “ooh”’s bpm is at i think. it might be 162. i really don’t remember.

i’ve memorized the entirety of remix 10, remix 10 ds, and remix 6. so that’s a thing. though sometimes remix 6 messes me up when i’m just trying to remember it without playing. i can’t memorize megamix’s medley remixes for the life of me.

i’ve also memorized remix 8 because of course i have, who’s surprised at this point?

quiz show is a game that exists. it’s interesting in that you don’t have to follow rhythm at all. it’s a repeat-after-me game, but all that matters is that you press the button(s) the same amount of times.

it also ends if you get a question wrong, and unless it was the last one, that gives you an immediate try again. it’s one of three games to end prematurely, the other two being the night walk games (night walk 2 can also end prematurely).

it only has music playing at the beginning for some reason.

did i mention it got into megamix instead of an actually good game? instead of an actual rhythm game? in rhythm heaven?

megamix’s english dubbing sucks.

they seemingly had a low budget, so i will cut them some slack, but that doesn’t stop the fact that it’s terrible.

the title cards for games use the same few fonts, while in previous games they nearly all had original fonts.

none of the original songs got dubbed. instead they’re just instrumental. and dear god do i hate it. thus, with english audio, the only remix song is i’m a lady now, which is in english in all versions.

space dance and marching orders. just,,, space dance and marching orders. dear god.

luckily, and possibly due to the dubbing, megamix has the option to change between english and japanese audio. i have no idea if that’s only in the english version or if it’s in other languages’ translations, but it’s nice either way.

ds just straight-up lies to you. at the beginning of the game, it says it’s completely controlled with the touch screen, but then in the game right before remix 10, the r-button is used.

due to this rockers 2 sucks on emulator.

ds has too many repeat-after-me games, i can think of five off the top of my head. ds’ repeat-after-me games also aren’t even that good? moai doo-wop sucks, shoot-’em-up and love lab are fine i guess, i like freeze frame, and drummer duel’s pretty fun (though i’m pretty sure it’s just spam? is this spam heaven now? where did the rhythm go?).

this probably doesn’t make sense to like ninety percent of you. 😔

#puppy rambles #rhythm heaven on main #i like when i'm bored so i just ramble about random rhythm heaven crap on main #that should probably logically go on my sideblog #but i mean there's a ninety percent chance i've rambled about it there #god i really do only mention tengoku like twice in the entirety of this post #i barely know anything about tengoku #i've played it but i barely know anything about it #other than polyrhythm 2 is rhythm purgatory #polyrhythm's a good game #but polyrhythm 2? rhythm purgatory

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bluesfortheredj · 4 years

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Hitsuzen.

Hitsuzen - A naturally foreordained event. A state in which other outcomes are impossible.

Chapter 10.

“Well that was unexpected,” John frowns as he looks over the photograph of the man on the screen, “do you think you could find out some more information on him?”

“I’ve got a couple of friends who are still in the Met, I’ll give them a ring now,” Nelson nods, heading back around to his side of the desk and picking up the phone straight away.

John watches Charlie intently as he speaks over the phone to his former colleague, his eyes narrowed at the DS as he tries to make out what’s happening in the conversation, and he leans over the desk as Nelson scribbles down notes furiously onto a notepad. He attempts to read the scrawls that cover the paper, taking no notice of the lines on the page, but is unable to thanks to the quickness of Charlie’s hand and the mess of his handwriting in such a haste to get the details down of what he’s being told.

“Okay, brilliant, thanks for that, bye,” Charlie lifts his head to look at John with a smile, “we’ve got him. He moved to Midsomer Wellow only three months ago, he has a sister by the name of Maria and this is where it gets interesting… she was married to an Adam Carter, the very same Adam Carter that works at Causton Comprehensive. Has previous for theft.”

“So this Kevin Marsden is Adam’s ex wife’s brother?” John clarifies with a slightly bemused look upon his face, “so why did he lock (Y/N) in the cupboard and try to gas her? And what was he doing at the school in the first place?”

“He could have been looking for Adam maybe,” Charlie thinks aloud, “and then panicked when he saw (Y/N) there instead?”

“Hmm,” he frowns, “let’s see if we can get the truth from the man himself shall we?”

“Oh it’d be my pleasure Sir,” Nelson says as he grabs his coat from the back of the chair.

The drive is unusually quiet for the two men; Charlie concentrates on getting to their destination in the quickest time possible while John’s gaze stays fixed to the file in his lap as he tries to connect the dots to every piece of information he knows so far. Why would someone seemingly so disconnected from everything suddenly try and interfere when the divorce had already been settled? How could someone mistake you for a man you didn’t resemble in any way, shape, or form? John’s brow furrows deeply as he flicks from page to page, making the odd note here and there when Charlie’s driving was steady enough, and Nelson almost forces the pen out of his hand when he has to make an emergency stop as he sees the suspect running down the path after seeing the blue flashing lights heading his way.

“Nelson!” John scolds, but he soon realises why it was necessary, “get him!”

John hops out of the car just in time to see Nelson sprinting after the man, his jacket wafting behind him as he jumps up and over a fence for a short cut to the suspect’s path. There’s a scuffle as he reaches out and pushes the man to the ground as he lands awkwardly next to him, but Nelson soon gains the upper hand when he rolls Kevin onto his front and grabs a hold of his hands to cuff at his back.

“Kevin Marsden, I’m arresting you on suspicion of assault...” Charlie reads him his rights as he pulls him to his feet while John looks on and gives him an encouraging nod.

“Well done Nelson,” he says when the two men get back to the car and Kevin is squeezed into the back.

“Sir,” Charlie nods.

After being booked in at the station he’s lead to an interview room where he’s made to wait while John and Charlie keep an eye on him through the door, waiting for Kevin to start sweating about what’s happening and hoping that he’s put in the mood to talk.

“What do you think? He hasn’t said a word apart from confirming his details,” Charlie whispers as they watch him through the small window.

John takes a deep breath, “at this point I’m not entirely sure, but there’s no way he’s getting out of what he did to (Y/N), that’s for sure. We’ve got him on that one. We’ll just have to see if he’s willing to explain why he did it. I’ll take the lead on this one, try not to make him too uncomfortable with that stare of yours Nelson.”

“I promise nothing Sir.”

John opens the door suddenly to make Kevin jump, then the two men settle in their seats opposite him as the paperwork is carefully placed on the table and slowly organised so that both Charlie and John can see what they need to in order of questioning.

“Kevin Marsden...” John begins, first looking him in the eye then averting his gaze to the papers in front of him, “brother of Maria Marsden, correct?”

Kevin nods, “yeah,” he croaks nervously.

“The same Maria Marsden that was once married to Adam Carter?”

“Mhmm,” he agrees, his finger tips tapping on the table lightly.

“So, were you visiting Adam at Causton Comprehensive last Monday?”

“Never been there,” he shrugs.

“Never?”

“Uh-huh.”

“So you’ve never seen these items before?” John asks, sliding two photographs across the table; one of the rubber tubing that was pushed through the vent and one of a gas cannister lying on the floor outside the cupboard.

Kevin’s eyes flick down to the pictures then before bouncing straight back up again and looking everywhere but at the two men in front of him, “nope, never.”

Charlie scoffs, desperately wanting to say something, but he thinks better of it as John then asks his next question, “would you care to explain how your fingerprints were found on these items left inside Adam’s classroom at Causton Comprehensive then?��

“No idea,” he shrugs.

“Oh come on!” Nelson says exasperatedly, throwing his hands in the air, “they didn’t exactly get there by themselves did they? It would be better for all of us if you just tell us the truth now. We have your fingerprints, they’re hard to fake. If you don’t tell us what happened then we’ll have to bring in your sister Maria to see if she knows anything...”

“No! No, don’t involve her, this has got nothing to do with her, I swear. She doesn’t know anything about this,” he babbles nervously.

John nods, impressed with Nelson’s technique, “okay then, all you need to do is tell us exactly what happened, and how this situation went from a body being found in school grounds to an innocent woman ending up in hospital.”

Kevin sighs as he leans his elbows on the table and crosses his arms in front of him while he looks between John and Charlie who are awaiting his reply.

“You have to believe me when I say this has nothing to do with Maria. She doesn’t even know I’m here, she thinks I’ve gone abroad. I promised not to do anything when she told me about what had happened… but she’s my sister, I couldn’t let him go unpunished.”

“Let who go unpunished?” Barnaby asks.

“Adam.”

“What did he need punishing for?” Nelson adds.

“The abuse he put her through; the mental and physical abuse that caused her to seek a divorce and escape back to out parent’s house for fear of her life. I helped her get out of there, and I swore that I’d get him back for what he did to her. It was meant to be the perfect crime; disposing of his house mate and framing him for the whole thing.”

“But things didn’t go to plan did they?” John continues.

“No,” Kevin exhales, now lifting his hands from his arms and rubbing his face, “they didn’t. I didn’t think he’d have a breakdown over it all so easily, although it does go to show that he’s really just a pathetic little coward underneath it all. I knew he wouldn’t have an alibi for the night I took care of Luke, but it was meant to be him in that classroom when I was there, not the woman. I panicked, she would have seen me if she turned around so I locked her in. Everything was set up for Adam, not her, but then I couldn’t risk her breaking that door open so I had to feed in the gas, just to knock her out though that’s all, it wasn’t to hurt her.”

“So you were out to harm Adam?”

“Yes! I knew it had gone wrong when Adam started to go off the rails, I was going to plant evidence in the classroom, in his house, but his movements became so erratic I never had the chance, so I just thought why not bump him off too? The world would be a better place without him, my sister wouldn’t have to live in fear; I don’t know, it just all spiralled out of control,” Kevin explains as a quiet sob jolts his body after the last few words.

“Do you know if Maria has had any contact with Adam recently? He mentioned that she had,” Charlie questions, remembering what you had said about his outburst.

“Never, she would never do that in case he found out where she was,” he frowns, “why would he say that?”

“We have yet to find out. For now, we will be charging you with the murder of Luke Clemmon and the assault of (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” John states as he gathers up the papers, “you will be escorted to a cell now.”

The two men leave the room and Charlie quickly gets to his desk so he can collapse into his chair with a long sigh, “well I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Nor me, but we need to speak to Adam again, find out why he lied about Maria getting in touch.”

“Mhmm,” Charlie agrees, his mind wandering to you.

“Why don’t you go and check on (Y/N)? I’ll send some officers to pick up Adam,” John suggests, seeing the vacant look in Nelson’s eyes.

“Yes Sir, I’ll be back soon,” he nods, jumping at the chance to see how you were doing.

It doesn’t take him long to get to Sarah’s and she spots him pulling into the driveway so he doesn’t even have to knock when he gets to the door.

“Can’t keep you away can we?” she chuckles as he steps inside.

“We’ve had an interesting afternoon and I needed a break so why not visit my favourite people?” he smiles.

“I think she’s still asleep upstairs, but you could do me a favour and take her a fresh glass of water if you like?”

Charlie nods enthusiastically as Evie comes running towards him on her unsteady feet, rushing past Sarah with her arms outstretched until she can rap them around one of his long legs, “Charlie! Mummy’s still in bed. She’s very tired. Do you love mummy? Can you be my new daddy?”

“Evelyn!” Sarah laughs nervously as she peels the little one away from Charlie, “I think someone’s had a bit too much chocolate cake! Why don’t you and Betty see if Sykes wants to walk around the garden?”

“Okay!” she grins excitedly.

Sarah hands the glass of water to the stunned man then turns on her heels to check on the girls as Charlie ascends the stairs quietly, trying to wrap his head around the barrage of questions that had just been hurtled at him. He gently curls his fingers around the edge of the door before pushing it open ever so slightly until he can see your now peaceful face resting upon the soft pillow. You looked much more comfortable than before and his mouth turns up into a hint of a smile at the sight of your calm features. He places the glass down on the bedside table then perches himself right on the edge of the bed next to you, reaching his hand out and brushing the hair back from your face gently so he can admire the woman he’d fallen so deeply for.

@lv7867 @lovemarvelousfics @fuckyou-imspiderman @aynsleywalker @timeandpixiedust @the-baby-bookworm @pink-lemo @chlobo6 @queenslandlover-93 @misslolasworld @killer-queen-87 @drivenbybri @itsametaphorgwil @what-wicked-delights

#charlie nelson x reader #charlie nelson #midsomer murders fic #gwilym lee #midsomer murders #ds charlie nelson

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huphilpuffs · 5 years

Text

flares

chapter: 31/? summary: Dan’s body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he’s long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn’t the way to make himself happy. word count: 4k (103k total) rating: mature warnings: chronic illness, chronic pain, medicine a/n: As always, immense thanks to @obsessivelymoody for beta’ing!

Ao3 link || read from beginning

They settle into bed that night with no intention of going to sleep.

Dan’s laptop is open, resting on his thighs. Phil propped up two pillows against the wall for him to lean against, his back and neck still tender from the pressure point test Dr. Kissel performed. The duvet is draped across his lap, his toes sticking out from the end of it.

Phil stares at the screen over his shoulder. Dan can feel the warm puffs of air from his breathing against his skin.

He types fibro mialgia into Google.

Its response is Did you mean: Fibromyalgia, just enough to have a quiet breath rumbling between Dan’s ribs.

He clicks on the first link, a webpage from the Mayo Clinic. He’s pretty sure that’s in America somewhere. It probably doesn’t much matter. The top of the page tells him it’s believed to amplify painful sensations by changing the way the brain processes pain. He thinks that’s what Dr. Kissel said.

Dan’s not entirely sure what fucked up pain processing is supposed to feel like, but he thinks this is probably it.

The next paragraph is about trauma, about how it sometimes triggers fibromyalgia. Dan tries not to let the fact that he doesn’t relate make his insides twist too much.

Phil must be able to tell, because he leans in close and whispers, “It says ‘sometimes’.”

The one after that includes a list of other conditions that may be related. Dan reads it once, twice, three times before his gaze lingers on the last two. His stomach goes tight. He doesn’t realize his fingertip’s tapping his computer until Phil reaches over to grab it, snagging one of Dan’s hands and drawing it into his lap.

He doesn’t ask what Dan’s staring at. It’s probably obvious.

Dan’s spent years trying to convince himself he definitely wasn’t depressed, that definitely wasn’t his problem, and now it’s splashed across the page again in the clearest of sans serif fonts. Dr. Kissel didn’t mention that one. He wonders how much of his chart she’s read, if she knew it would make him feel like this.

He almost shuts the laptop and gives up on research. Maybe he doesn’t want to know after all.

But then Phil reaches over and scrolls down for him, leaving the list of symptoms lighting up Dan’s screen.

Everything after that is overwhelming in a different way. There’s a lot of symptoms. A lot of possible treatments. Dan’s never considered most of them. Massage therapy sounds incredibly unpleasant. Acupuncture, too. Getting enough sleep sounds so implausible that Dan actually laughs, too loud, too sharp.

The next page on Google is a lot of the same. So is the third, and the fourth.

Exercise is mentioned a lot. Dan’s joints ache at just the thought of trying to go out for a run, at the memory of how painful it was just to walk to class back at uni, of how sick he used to feel after gym class back in school.

There’s a lot they don’t know about fibromyalgia, he learns. There’s no cure, no definitive answer on why things hurt. There’s a bunch of studies that show little abnormalities that might cause it but none of them agree and none are conclusive and Dan doesn’t much care.

He knows, finally. And there’s some stuff they do know.

It’s not fatal. It’s never fatal. Dan reads that bit out loud, because Phil’s sitting next to him, gaze tripping across the page just a bit slower than Dan’s. Dr. Kissel already told them that more than once. The extra layer of reassurance makes Phil lean in close, his body pressed against Dan’s side.

He dusts a kiss to Dan’s bare shoulder, soft, loving.

There was a time when Dan might have been terrified by the prospect of a lifelong condition with no cure and no potential to be let out of his misery. It’s still scary now, not knowing what to expect for any of his future. But giving this up isn’t really an option anymore.

Phil lets go of his hand to wrap his arm around Dan’s shoulders instead, leaning in close so his head rests right above Dan’s collarbone.

“I’m glad you have an answer,” he says. His voice has gone low and gravelly.

He sounds tired. And he has to work in the morning. And Dan suddenly feels bad for keeping him up for so long with a cycle of redundant articles that say the same little bit of information in slightly different ways. He closes his laptop, scrolled only halfway down the page.

“You’re not gonna keep reading?”

“I can read tomorrow,” he says. “Apparently I need to focus on getting enough sleep.”

Phil chuckles. He pulls away just enough slip down the mattress until he’s lying down. Dan tosses the extra pillow onto the floor and rests his laptop precariously on the corner of his bedside table before doing the same. He reaches out, draping his arm across Phil’s stomach, cuddling up against his side.

He can’t handle the pressure against his back tonight. Phil doesn’t seem to mind.

His palm settles flat against Dan’s ribcage, head dipping down. Dan looks up to meet his mouth in a quick kiss goodnight.

When he pulls away, he’s smiling.

---

Dan dreams of being old that night.

He’s sitting in a mostly empty room with white walls and a sofa. There’s a blanket draped over him and an ice pack sitting uselessly atop his head. It’s just like his life now, except when he looks down, his hands are wrinkled and spotted with age.

He wakes up. The room is still dark, hardly a touch of light filtering through Phil’s curtains. Phil’s still sound asleep, snoring softly.

Dan’s brain is echoing his nan’s complaints about how achy her knees were, the ones he could relate to when he was only fourteen.

He swallows, presses himself tighter against Phil’s side, and stares at the window until he falls back asleep.

---

His chest is tight when he wakes up in the morning.

Phil’s not in bed anymore. There’s a note on Dan’s bedside table telling him Phil’s already gone to work. It has a silly little smiley face drawn in the corner. Dan’s laptop has been moved to sit on the chest of drawers instead, more stable there than where he placed it last night.

He sinks back against his pillow once he’s spotted it. His breath comes out as a sigh, his hand coming up to rub hard at the line of his sternum, as though that will ease the pressure there.

His knees crack when his climbs out of bed. There’s still a tingling, radiating sort of pain where Dr. Kissel pressed against his body, all down his legs and up along his spine. Some of them feel swollen, but when he rubs at the back of his neck, there’s nothing there.

Dan grabs his laptop and changes his pants before moving to the lounge.

He turns to look back before he leaves, hand gripping the door frame to steady him. The duvet is ruppled on both sides, a giant ball of fluff where Dan’s feet were. There’s a pillow on the floor and two pressed close together at the head of the mattress. Dan’s phone charger rests on his bedside table, plugged into nothing.

Something spasms in Dan’s chest.

It takes him a moment to realize it’s anxiety.

---

The kettle is half full of water on the kitchen counter. There’s a smoothie in the fridge with a straw already sticking out of it. Phil left the cereal box out, plastic bag half poking out the top of it, and the cupboard door open overhead. Dan closes it as he sips at his breakfast.

He doesn’t turn the TV on this morning.

He drags his computer onto his lap and opens the article he’d left half read last night. He doesn’t finish it. There’s other things on his mind this morning than symptom lists he’s already read and collections of advice that only seems half effective.

Working with fibromyalgia, is what he types into Google today.

The first link is to a WebMD article. Dan clicks it without thinking much.

People can work with this, is the first thing Dan learns. It makes his chest feel funny, something half relief and half not blooming there. Keep working, is what the article says, and Dan tries not to think about the day he handed his resignation to Sue, body aching so much just getting there had been a hassle.

He fails.

He thinks about it for so long that his vision goes out of focus, the article sliding into double. It snaps back into place when he blinks and scrolls down to the next part, too many lists of too many questions to address way too many problems.

The advice is … a lot. It’s flexible work hours and working from home, extra equipment at work and less tasks. It’s finding a job that’s not too stressful and lets you sleep in, and one where you don’t need to do manual labour but can also survive when your brain isn’t working right.

Right in the middle of it, there’s an ad for some pill that starts with, Does your penis curve when erect?

Dan laughs. It’s only then that he realizes his throat’s gone tight and his eyes are stinging. His fingers are shaking over the keyboard when he jams the down arrow to read the rest of the page. It takes him too many tries to stay steady enough to click the arrow bringing him to the next one.

Can I get disability with fibromyalgia? is its header.

Dan almost forgets how to breathe. He doesn’t read it. He doesn’t go back to Google. He closes Chrome entirely and slams his laptop shut and tells himself it’s because the advice was about American law and not because his stomach suddenly really doesn’t like the smoothie Phil made more him.

A tear rolls down his cheek.

He stares at the blank TV screen until it falls off the bottom of his chin.

---

The lounge is full of both their stuff.

There’s a PlayStation and a Wii on the TV cabinet, above neat shelves lined with a shared collection of games. There’s two DS chargers plugged into the wall. There’s a stack of DVDs by the door to the balcony, Dan’s piled on top of Phil’s from when he first moved in.

The blanket Phil got him is draped over the sofa. Decorations he had before Dan moved in are all laid out on the furniture and hanging on the walls. There’s a throw pillow that used to live on the sofa that now sits in the corner of the room.

Dan thinks too much about how none of his A-levels or GCSCs will ever be enough to get him a job that would give him any of the things on WebMD’s list.

And then even more about all the horror stories he’s heard about people living on benefits.

And then, once his chest hurts and pressure is welling at his temples, about how he doesn’t really have a choice but to need one of them if his body’s not going to be fixed.

It’s not. Dan expected that. He tries not to care. Part of him doesn’t.

But the other part of him reminds him that Phil’s parents are still paying his part of the rent, echoes his mum’s warnings about leeching off Phil until tears are welling in his eyes once again. It pictures the people back in Wokingham who told him he’d never go anywhere if Dan didn’t learn to deal with a little bit of pain.

His brain flashes a quick image of being back there.

He reaches for his phone, just to distract himself. He ends up texting Taylor instead.

Dan: can you come over? i have news

Taylor: already on my way out the door

---

“You look less shit today,” is what she says when she opens the door. There’s a smile on her face, wavering just enough to let Dan know it’s her attempt to act normal.

He doesn’t feel less shit. The post-appointment high has settled into something just as heavy and insecure feeling as before, just tainted with different memories, weighted with different fears.

“Yeah,” he says, “Well, stuff happened.”

He leads her to the lounge without explaining first. His body is achy and she knows he needs to be sitting down. When she settles down next to him, it’s with her whole body turned towards him, legs tucked under her and arm draped across the back of the cushions, like she’s waiting for something.

She doesn’t ask for it.

Dan takes a moment to steady his breath before saying, “I’m not dying.”

She chuckles, breathy and uncertain. “That’s good,” she says. “You better think it’s good.”

There was a day, back in at uni, when she’d tossed her textbook aside and said killing me would be less painful. And Dan, safe in the knowledge that she wouldn’t try to send him to a therapist, lest the advice be turned back on her, had admitted sometimes I wish I was dying just so I’d know the pain would end.

“It’s good,” says Dan. He turns towards her, offering a smile that actually feels genuine. “I have a diagnosis.”

“Oh!” She bounces on her knees. “And?”

“It’s fibromyalgia.”

She nods, just once, brows going a little furrowed. “Is it bad that I don’t know what that means?”

Dan laughs. “Neither did I,” he says. “I reckon most scientists don't either, if Google is a reliable source.”

“Sounds accurate, if my quarter of a bio degree is anything to go off,” says Taylor. A smile quirks at the corners of her mouth.

Dan’s not sure he’s ever seen her smiling when talking about those classes. It’s nice.

“Yeah, most of my old doctors confirm the theory,” he says, smiling too. “Dr. Kissel’s actually good, though.”

“Yeah?” says Taylor. “And this fibromyalgia thing, is it good?”

He shrugs. The anxiety from before burns in his chest again. His head tilts back against the sofa, and he watches Taylor’s brows furrow in concern.

“Probably shouldn’t be. The symptoms are royal shit and there’s no cure and I don’t really know where to go from here,” he admits. “But having an answer? That’s good.”

A smile spreads slowly across her face, close-lipped and content. Dan watches her eyes flick between both of his, her head falling to rest against her open palm as she stares.

“I’m not gonna pretend to understand,” she says. “My diagnosis– I knew what was wrong, I just didn’t want to admit it, you know?”

Dan nods. He wonders if that’s one of the things she learned about herself in therapy, wonders how he never really saw it that way. Maybe because he couldn’t relate. He never felt like he knew what was wrong with him. Until now.

His heart clenches at that, eyes falling closed against the rush of anxiety-tainted relief that floods the already too-full space between his ribs.

Taylor reaches over, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. Her voice is quiet as a whisper when she says, “I’m so happy for you.”

He laughs. It comes out as a puff of air that sounds half like a sob, but it’s the best he can muster without actually breaking into tears.

She must be able to tell, because she pulls away and settles back against the sofa. Dan counts his breath for a moment afterwards, until the steady rise and fall of his chest feels less fragile. When he opens his eyes again, Taylor’s staring up at the ceiling with him, lips still quirked up.

“You get to join me in the arduous process that is recovery now, you know,” she says. “Welcome to the dark side.”

Dan smiles. “Shouldn’t it be the brighter side?”

“Hush,” she turns to him. Her smile’s reaching her eyes, like it rarely used to before. “I’ve been rehearsing that in my head for the last, like, two minutes, let me have this.”

When Dan laughs that time, it actually feels genuine.

---

Taylor stays for dinner. Phil invited her.

They eat around the coffee table. Taylor lets Phil have his usual spot next to Dan with a joke about how she’s pretty sure it’s morphed to their spines by now, and drags over a chair from the dining table instead. She tells Phil all about her new courses as they eat, a grin wide on both their faces.

Afterwards, they play a round of Mario Kart, because they can. Dan wins. Taylor comes in second this time, and Phil complains about how she’s never allowed to play with them again because, even if he can’t beat Dan, he can beat the computers. Usually.

Dan teases him with that last bit. He points out how often Phil ends up stuck in the item clusterfuck and, when he pouts in response, presses a quick kiss to his cheek. Because he can.

It feels normal. As normal as it can when, a few months ago, he and Taylor were playing this game on their DS’, miserable in Dan’s uni bedroom.

So, not normal at all.

Taylor’s laughs so much happy tears leak from the corners of her eyes. Dan has an answer for why his chest aches when he laughs too much. Phil reaches around him, and flattens a hand against Dan’s ribs when his breath catches around an exhale.

He whispers a quiet one, two, three, against the round of Dan’s shoulder.

Dan leans his head back against the cushions again, and enjoys the company of the two people who will give him a second to steady the broken parts of his body without making him feel bad.

When he looks back up, he smirks at them both, and starts a round of Rainbow Road without warning.

---

The anxiety starts to come back when darkness falls.

Phil leads him to the bedroom without a word. Taylor’s just left, the sky’s just starting to go dark. It’s been a long time since they last sat up and watched a movie late into the night, Dan realizes, but he doesn’t much mind. It means he gets to wrap himself in cozy blankets and rest his head on a fluffed up pillow and feel Phil’s arms around him.

He gets to reach up and chase away the tedium of the day with soft kisses pressed to Phil’s lips.

Tonight, though, he doesn’t. His mind is too preoccupied by the time he slips under the covers. He stares up at the ceiling and tries not to think of all the long nights he spent with just his pain and his questions to keep him company. Days when the brush of his duvet was too much against his skin, when his pillow pressed too much against the back of his neck.

It’s because there’s tender points there. Dan knows that now.

It doesn’t feel like he should.

He reaches out into the space between them and catches Phil’s hand over the mattress, squeezing once.

“Can I ask you something?” he says.

“‘Course,” says Phil. He rolls over, so he’s curled up on his side facing Dan, head resting against the crook of his elbow.

Dan doesn’t look back at him. He feels weird when he asks, “You know that thing you made me do the other day? To get my thoughts out of my head? With my webcam?”

“Yeah,” says Phil. “Why?”

Dan swallows. Phil must be able to hear it, because he squeezes Dan’s hand, just for a second.

“Would you find it weird if I wanted to do it again?”

“Why would I find that weird?” asks Phil. He lets go of Dan’s hand, only to reach out and clumsily search for his fringe in the darkness. He swipes some curls away from his eyes. “I told you I used to do it, didn’t I?”

Dan shrugs. It’s awkward, with his pillow tucked right above his shoulders. “Yeah. Just feels weird.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to, if it helps,” says Phil. “Do you want me to set it up for you?”

Dan considers it. There’s comfort in the idea, a weird kind that soothes his mind into thinking Phil actually can’t find it weird if he’s willing to help Dan do it. But it’s getting late, late enough that Dan’s pretty sure if he peeked outside he could see the the flashing trails of airplanes over the city, and Phil worked all day.

“I think I can manage,” he says. “Pretty sure I haven’t forgotten how to use my laptop just yet.”

Phil laughs. His hand trails across Dan’s chest as he slips out of bed. When Dan turns to look back from the doorframe, the hallway light lets him see just enough to tell that Phil’s still curled up on his side, smiling.

---

He sets his laptop up on his pillows, with the grainy window of his webcam app filling the screen.

The room stays silent for long seconds after he hits record. Dan adjusts his hair, all curly in the way he hates but can never spare the energy to fix. He fidgets around on his bed until his too-bony knees are out of shot and you can see the waistline of his pants so he doesn’t look naked.

Part of him wants to laugh at himself. It doesn’t matter. No one will ever see this. Dan doesn’t even think he’ll ever look back at it.

He takes a deep breath, brings his fingers to his head, and says, “Hello internet,” just like last time.

And then he rants into the camera until he’s lost track of what he’s already said and isn’t sure any of it is making sense and the anxiety in his brain fades into some sort of mental fatigue. He’s lying down on his side because he lost the energy to sit up and his laptop clock is telling him it’s been over half an hour.

His hands are shaking when he reaches over to shut the recording off. Dan’s not sure when that started.

He’s not sure about a lot of things, he realizes.

Dan rolls onto his back, and stares up a ceiling that’s just like Phil’s but feels way less familiar until he musters the energy to hold his body upright again.

---

Phil’s still awake when Dan goes back to their room.

He looks up from his phone as Dan closes the door behind him and walks over to crawl into bed. He pulls the duvet over his body, right up to his chin, and curls up on his side. There’s a headache welling in his temples, and a heaviness lingering in his chest.

“Were you listening?” he whispers.

“No,” says Phil. He reaches behind him to set his phone down, sending the room dark, and then reaches out to tuck a strand of Dan’s hair behind his ear. “I don’t want to intrude.”

Dan hums. His eyes drift closed as Phil’s thumb traces small circles on his cheek.

Part of him wishes Phil had overheard, so he could soothe Dan’s anxieties without him needing to ask any scary questions. Most of him just wants to hold Phil close and pretend he isn’t suddenly questioning the stability of his entire fucking life, of all the wonderful things in it.

So he does. He grabs Phil’s hand, and dusts a soft kiss to his palm, and then presses closer until Phil’s arms are wrapped all the way around him, holding him tucked against his shoulder in an awkward horizontal hug.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

Phil doesn’t respond with words. He just brushes a kiss to the top of Dan’s head and then, when Dan looks up, a second to his lips.

And a third and a fourth and a fifth until they actually settle in to sleep.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #flares #dan and phil #callie writes words

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killervibe · 5 years

Text

Blizzard Discretionary Advised

I noticed that I haven’t written much Mom!Caitlin, and that needed to be fixed right away.

~.~

Caitlin looked out the window just as the two school buses pull up in front of their house. She nodded to herself, pleased to see the driver still on schedule after this many years, and continued working at the kitchen island.

The front door swung open as the kids marched in, the younger ones sprinting up the stairs so they could change out of their uniforms to play, but Dante Stein stayed behind. He locked the door behind them, then wandered into the room to find her.

“Hey mom.”

Caitlin smiled at her son as he shrugged off his dad’s old leather jacket and pulled himself a chair. He was beginning to look so much like him, it was uncanny. Cisco joked that Dante Stein was a Francisco Ramon after a bleach wash and tumble cycle in the dryer. His tousled hair was lighter than the rest of his siblings, with a golden highlight at the ends where it curled against his shoulders, and his eyes were all hers.

Still, he looked like Cisco.

“Hi. How was your day?”

He shrugged, deflecting, choosing instead to watch her.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Making ice.” She did so every few weeks.

DS tilted his head as she cut the ice into cubes to put in plastic bags. Caitlin was going to stuff them in the freezer later. “...May I?”

“Absolutely,” she said with a proud grin. Dante Stein raised his hand over the counter, letting mist spill from his fingerless gloves. His highlights turned bleach, his eyes white, as an icicle grew, morphing into a large block of ice.

Dante Stein released his hold, and the cold sucked back into his palm. He met his mother’s eyes for approval.

“Impressive,” Caitlin praised.

“Thanks.” He tugged on his beanie. “I’m better at cold snapping than frost-overs.”

“That’s okay. It takes time.” She reached forward to stroke her son’s hair, scratching her fingers into his scalp. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

“Dante,” she said, gentle. “What’s the matter?”

He sighed. His hair still tinged icy. Caitlin walked around the corner so she could pull him into her side. Dante Stein always used to attach himself to her like a baby koala, desperate for cuddles. They never figured out if it was because he always felt cold or because he simply had separation anxiety. It might’ve been a mix of both.

Her teenage son rested his head against her shoulder. Caitlin ran her hand up and down his arm.

“We learned about you in school today.”

Caitlin paused. That could be anything.

“Oh? Star Labs or Team Flash?”

“Neither.” Dante slipped out of her embrace and put the melting ice away. His shoulders were tense, stiff. He opened the freezer compartment with a forceful yank, dumping the ice cubes into the right spot, then closed it again. “Savitar.”

Oh. Caitlin blanched a little, then swallowed. “...You learned about Savitar in your contemporary world class?”

“No. We learned about exoneration. And how that differs from diplomatic immunity.” Dante Stein stammered, caught when Caitlin quirked a surprised eyebrow. Cisco had to push the boy to do so much as open his school agenda. “Not that I was really listening, of course. I mean. I did when you were brought up as an example.”

“I see.”

Dante Stein idolized his mother since they made ice castles together in the backyard when he was five. And no matter what Caitlin did to try and dissuade it, she knew it remained. It was a certain kind of connection that couldn’t be forged. A bond that came as natural as breathing. Caitlin had the same one with Heath, even if it were somewhat different. The one she shared with Dante was more intense, more heartfelt. The pride she felt when his Blizzard unleashed, when the frost from his fingertips turned them blue without pain, the first snow he created when he turned eight.

He was older now, fifteen. He liked to maintain a persona of detached chill, especially at school and with his friends. He liked to pretend he didn’t need her anymore. That he didn’t need anyone, really.

They let him keep up that charade. Caitlin knew it helped him feel somewhat in control. She knew how that worked.

“Mom. I don’t understand how it happened. I don’t understand how you could do something like that.”

Caitlin sat down on the stool at the island, eyeing him as he fumbled with serving himself juice. Ellie came running down in her ballerina tutu. She lifted her up and kissed her forehead, giving her permission to play outside with the dog. Dante Stein watched with a complicated expression as she helped her open the screen door.

“That’s because I wasn’t the person you know, back then. I was different. Killer Frost wasn’t just a codename. She was... a person. A different person inside of me. One that fueled on anger and pain. Whose inhibitions were nonexistent. I didn’t remember what she’d do at the time. I’d blackout with glimpses and strong feelings. It was scary.”

Dante Stein’s grip tightened against his glass, eyes wide. “Mom.”

She reached across the counter for his hand, squeezing it, letting his tension dissolve. “It’s okay,” she said. “My powers didn’t come from the explosion. Grandpa Snow did some questionable experiments on me when I was younger. It was from a place of love, but it caused several mess ups. Balance is important, DS. You need love to equalize hatred. Patience to steady Impulse. Killer Frost didn’t have that, because she was severed from the rest of me. I had to learn to shoulder my burden and manage the cold.”

“But I’m not like you,” he stressed. “I’m like her.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. I’m not perfect or smart like Amalia, or compassionate like Heath or creative like Ellie. I’m not even a nice person! I’m cold and everything gets under my skin, like, all the time. What if Blizzard is my Frost? What if I wake up one day and I just...snap, and lose myself like you did? Dad always says I’m just like you. Mom, I don’t want that.”

“You mean like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?” Heath piped up, swiping his older brother’s abandoned juice.

They both startled.

“You’ve been here the entire time?” Dante Stein hissed, glaring at him.

“It’s not my fault I blend in very well with my surroundings. I liked it when you called me compassionate. That was nice. An evil alter ego wouldn’t do that.”

“Heath,” Caitlin warned. “This is a private conversation.”

Heath shrugged, a lemon blossom sprouting from his branch around his waist that he’d been wearing as a belt this week. He plucked it out and stuck it into DS’s hair.

“Discretion,” he explained, then walked out to join his sister outside.

“He’s so weird,” Dante Stein groaned, burying his head in his hands. The flower fell into the empty glass.

“He was trying to help. In his own way.” Caitlin took a deep breath, rearranging her thoughts. She went back to what was said before the interruption, wanting to make things clear.

“Your sister is not perfect. I wish you’d stop comparing yourself to her. She’s her own person, makes her own mistakes, you know plenty.”

“She doesn’t have the urge to create a new ice age under that techno babble of hers,” he muttered.

Caitlin gave her son some side eye. “You don’t actually have that urge, do you?”

“...No. Maybe? No.” His voice came out muffled through his palms.

She crossed her arms.

“No.”

“Mmhm.”

“But what if I did? And ruin everything. They’d never exonerate me after looking at my school record.”

“That will never happen, sweetheart.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” he snapped.

Caitlin’s hair turned silver, and she tapped her nails against the counter, catching her son’s attention. “Hey,” she said cooly. “Look here.”

DS glanced at Killer Frost, but turned away, curling into himself.

“Look at me, babe.”

He did eventually, frozen tears in his eyes.

“I love you. You’re nothing like me. Your jokes are funny, your sarcasm is smart, your cold snaps are stellar. And you care. You care about everyone. I care for about as many people I can count on my fingers. You kids and your dad takes up a whole hand.” She held up a five. “The other hand depends on my mood. Uncle Barry sometimes doesn’t even make the cut, kid, and he’s The Flash.”

Dante Stein stifled a laugh. “Uncle Barry gets intense sometimes.”

“For sure,” she smirked, and continued. “My specialty was ice. I froze things solid, sucked life out until there was unfeeling. You...cool things down. You bring boiling points to a simmer.”

“That’s a lot of temperatures analogies, Mom.”

“You’re understanding them, though.” She pointed out. “It doesn’t matter how I sound, or what colour is my hair. I’m the one in control. I’m Caitlin. And you are Dante Stein, my boy. I can’t promise you that your Blizzard side won’t make a fuss if you’re hurt inside. But it’s better than shutting down and feeling nothing at all. Your powers are part of who you are, and for all they may or may not sometimes be scary, I know you love them.”

He shrugged as some colour came to his cheeks. “Can I have another hug?”

Caitlin’s heart nearly melted. “Of course.” She opened her arms and he snuggled into her side, his hair tickling her nose as he tucked his head under her chin. She kissed his head and squeezed, warming up the two of them as they let their transformations fall.

For everything she’d just said, her son was right. Sometimes he needed to look into Frost’s eyes to believe. To see someone like himself. Even if Caitlin didn’t need Frost anymore, had long since merged the hair and eyes and attitude that belonged to her old alter ego into her own self, Caitlin had the ability to summon her for other purposes than saving the multiverse, or keeping her identity a secret, such as times like these.

“You’re going to be okay?”

He nodded. So did she, but she pulled him back to look at his face sternly.

“You’re going to tell me what’s really wrong?”

“I knocked a kid out for calling Killer Frost Team Flash’s Winter Soldier. You know, from the old Marvel movies.”

Caitlin barked out a surprised laugh.

“I got suspended.”

“Oh my god, Dante Stein.”

“I was mad because I actually liked that class and don’t want to miss it.”

“You goof.” Caitlin pulled him back to swat him. “Was it that kid Greyson? The one who called Heath that name?”

Dante Stein’s smile was sheepish. “...Yeah.”

Caitlin couldn’t stop giggling, covering her mouth behind her hand. “Wait until your Dad--”

Cisco breached into the room with Amalia and five boxes of pizza, rolling his eyes. “--He already knows!”

“Who’d figure DS was such a nerd,” Amalia teased, knuckling his head. “I call the breadsticks.”

“--Hey, watch the hair!”

Caitlin’s gaze slid over to her husband, who winked in return.

“You were the one who wanted a houseful of crazy kids,” he reminded

Caitlin huffed. “That was you.”

“Oh?” Cisco’s eyes gleamed with amusement. He opened the screen door to call in the younger ones. “Heath! Ellie! Get ready for dinner.”

Amalia opened a breach to her bedroom to toss her jacket onto her bed. “You wanted us to be normal?” She snorted. “We must’ve been an epic disappointment.”

Nah. Caitlin loved her bunch dearly just as they were. She smiled, wiping her hands on her jeans and opened the first box. Caitlin’s mouth twisted with distaste. “The only epic disappointment is that you ordered The Elongated Pizza and not Killer Calzones for dinner.”

#tkv fic #killervibe #killervibe fic #fluff #Dante Stein Ramon #Amalia Ramon

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nerdomlover · 5 years

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Alright I have now finished Kingdom Hearts III, gods bless. As such after a long journey I have played all the Kingdom Hearts game and it’s time to rank them. I have played every game expect for one so lets get to it shall we? I am biased like all so your free to disagree. No Spoilers. Below are opinions and ratings out of 10

10. Kingdom Hearts Re:coded

So, codded is the only game I truly hate and Yes I’ve never played it. I watched the cut scenes and Jesus it was so boring. Look, we visit the same worlds 3 to 4 times and that’s just too much. The story really has little to no purpose expect the last bit at the end and from what I’ve seen the game play is not great either. Just skip if you can. 3/10-Not even a good try.

9. Kingdom Hearts: Union X

I’m lumping Backcover into this as well, so I’ve downloaded the game and played it and it’s okay for what it is. It’s a cellphone game, I usually cant get more than 3 missions in till I’m bored though. You’re just tapping and sliding and cant really explore a lot. I find the lore bits the most interesting stuff and I love that but honestly it upsets me that there releasing such important lore onto a cellphone game of all things. It brings great mysterious to the series don’t get me wrong especially with the ending to Kingdom Hearts III and Backcover looks amazing but again important lore on a cellphone game? Really? 5/10-Ill play it when I’m bored.

8. Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

This is a solid game in my opinion and yes I’ve actually played this one. I remember finding this in a sam’s club as a kid and getting so excited about it and begging my dad to buy it. And it’s good. The graphics haven’t aged well, but it is a fun game. The game play is meh to me at this point, and lets be honest the introduction and implication of Xion is kinda bad. They clearly created her after 2 and were really trying to come up with good reasons she wasn’t ever mentioned. I honestly think it’s a good story like I said it really fleshes out Axel, Roxas, and other organization members, and you get to play as them in the multiply player mode, nice touch, but the gameplay and graphics are far from desired so, it’s lower than some of the rest. 5/10-AverageTime. played it once that was enough.

7. Kingdom Heart: Chain of Memories

Omg, so I’ve played this on the Gameboy and the playstation2. Dear god, I use to hate this game. HATE IT. I understand why it was made this way but fuck no, I have permeant trauma now of me and my friend screaming at the screen while fighting Vexen. I hate the game play and the combat system. The saving grace of this game is the story. It was amazing, I really appreciate now. Even more after playing 2. Just Namine and the mystery of the organization. Man, I man still have nightmares but the story is at least solid. 6/10-Might actually play it agin.

6. Kingdom Hearts 0.2: Birth by Sleep – A Fragmentary Passage

This really shouldn’t count but screw it. This has lovely, this may as well be a demo but is was appreciated. Aqua is a favorite of the fandom and having a whole game that was just her? Yes please. It was nice having this tie into Kingdom Heart’s finale and I really did like it and the game play even it was just a preview of 3’s gameplay. Overall a good time and I love my baby Aqua *fangirl scream* 7/10 – Love has a face and it’s Aqua’s.

5. Kingdom Hearts

This was the very first game I ever played on my playstation 2. This was my game growing up. I love Disney and as I’ve grow older I’ve grown like final fantasy. This is a great game and I love it. Yeah, the controls are wonking and yes I hate some of the side missions. I was so angry while getting Aeroga but that doesn’t matter. Its fun and it’s a best selling for a reason. Where on the 10th game so it must be great? The fandom thinks so. 8/10- My first love.

4. Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance

This entire game is a freakin tease. Why would you name this 3D….I’ver never played this on the DS so forgive me. But this angered me when it came out, Everything seemed to be pointing at 3 but this came instead and don’t get me started on the Riku hate that I still have. But honestly after playing the game? I’m happy with it. The flowmotion is hella great and they have so many new worlds, I’m so happy and the combat and story are great (ignoring the obvious complaint everyone has cause yeah. 13 Xehanorts is stupid) but the only complaints I have are I didn’t like the dream eaters (I’m not here to nitendog), why is it on the freaking 3DS, and the drop system….why….Otherwise a soild game. 8/10- A really really nice dive into my heart.

3. Kingdom Hearts III

13 Years…..And was it worth. Yes? Like I had major fun playing it. The combat was great. Was there problems? Yes. But I loved playing it. It’s a good game and I will play it over some of the others easily, it looks amazing, sounds amazing, and the story. My most problems have to do with the pacing and the ending. Which leaves it at number 3. 9/10- 13 Years of waiting, complete.

2. Kingdom Heart II

Talk to any fan and usual this is their number one game. It is the golden standard of Kingdom Hearts and their right. It was the best console game for a long time and had the best combat with the drive forms, action commands, and the combos. It fixed the gummi ships and had so many Disney worlds. I for also enjoyed Roxas stuff and generally like the story throughout, plus it’s the first kingdom hearts game I beat. Actually it’s the first game I ever beat. But, its not number one. 10/10- Love you so much

1. Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep

I love this game so much. I remember being so happy when my brother got a PSP. This was literally the only game I wanted, which to this day I have. I have such fond memories of this game and I love the characters so much. I love playing as Terra, Ven, and Aqua way more than Sora and Riku. The combats more fun and the story is just something I love. Making it my favorite, despite it’s flaws.

#Kingdom Hearts #top #top 10 #opinons #rankings #ranking #video games #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #Kingdom Hearts 2 #kingdom hearts 358/2 days #kingdom hearts union x #kingdom hearts 3d

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lordwaffleking · 7 years

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Stop Holding My Hand And Let Me Masturbate Already

Official review of Pokemon Sun and Moon via Lord Waffle King Dot Com.

www.lordwaffleking.com is still currently down and under construction so I’m just gonna post this here for now.

The Pokemon series has come quite a long way. From the very first games for the Game Boy, all through the many sequels and spin-offs, the world of Pokemon has grown exponentially and touched many, many lives. I’ve been a huge Pokemon guy ever since the first games, and whenever a new one is announced, I’m always nothing less than enthralled.

They’ve been with me through it all, man. When I was learning to read? There’s a lot of reading in Pokemon. When I was learning to make friends? Pokemon was what brought us together. And when I started touching myself for the first time? Yeah, I busted some fat nuts on Pokemon.

And then Pokemon Sun and Moon came along. I followed the news all the way up until release. I reported it all, right here on WWW Dot Lord Waffle King Dot Com. The designs looked great. The game looked perfect. I was sure this would be the greatest one yet, beating out my previous favorite that was Black and White.

I was very, very wrong.

Pokemon Sun and Moon have to be the greatest train-wreck of a Pokemon game I’ve ever played. To simply call the game “bad” wouldn’t quite explain the situation well enough, but I wouldn’t hesitate to call it my least favorite Pokemon game. And it really breaks my heart.

In my time playing Sun and Moon, I lost interest several times. Something that’s never happened to me before in a Pokemon game. I had to force myself to complete it, and only because I wanted to know who all the characters were so I could jerk off to hentai of them.

I mean, you can’t just whack it to a girl you don’t know. What kind of animal does that? Someone that doesn’t respect women, that’s who.

Pokemon games have slowly become more and more bloated over the years, but Sun and Moon are the first to ever truly be weighed down by it. Sun and Moon doesn’t know who it’s catering to anymore, and in an attempt to please everyone, they’ve really only succeeded in providing a clusterfuck of things that really don’t mesh well.

It’s an incredibly ambitious game, don’t get me wrong. Graphics are great for a 3DS game, and the presentation is phenomenal. A great soundtrack like always, and the Alola region has to be one of the best out of all of them. The Pokemon designs are fucking fantastic, all of the characters are likeable and well-developed. And surprisingly, even the story is great. The writing potentially rivals Black and White, actually. There’s real character development and everything. Not just a fat kid that likes to dance. In that sense, I’d actually rank it as one of the best Pokemon games. Possibly the best.

And yet the promising plot and world-building is held back by what I can only assume was corporate meddling on the Pokemon Company’s part to try and make the game appeal to the little shits sucking their glue through a straw because their negligent moms let them play Pokemon Go in the fucking street. Maybe they felt like they had to compete with Yo-Kai Watch and try to make the whole game into one long cartoon episode.

Fuck that shit though.

I wanted to explore Alola. I wanted to catch Pokemon and immerse myself in this world. I wanted a grand adventure. What I got was a special ed class Easter egg hunt. Getting lead by the hand to all the conspicuously placed Easter eggs, and having them all pointed out to me and placed gently in my basket by an adult so that I wouldn’t accidentally shove them up my ass by mistake.

It’s like going to Disney World with gassy Uncle Boris. No, don’t go on ride. Uncle Boris no feel good. Uncle Boris eat too much asparagus. Please, keep walking. We walk around park and go home.

Elsa and Snow White could be flashing their tits and beckoning you to join them on the fucking tea cup ride, but no. Keep walking. Look, there’s Mickey Mouse over there. No, you can’t go say hi to him. That’s not a part of the fucking tour. Keep walking.

The entire first half of the game feels like one long tutorial. It doesn’t at any point let you go to explore on your own time. You go where it tells you, you explore the way it wants you to. Read all of the dialogue, do the battles it presents to you, watch all of the completely unnecessary cutscenes. Why so many cutscenes? Pokemon doesn’t need that many. The cutscenes are done very well, yes. They help to build up the characters and make the emotional impact they deliver in the end that much more powerful. Sure. But the same was accomplished with N in Pokemon Black and White, and it didn’t require stagnating the whole fucking game.

When the action does open up, during that entire first half of the game that spans two of the region’s four islands, it hardly even makes a difference. The islands are designed in such a linear fashion, there really isn’t even a need for the map that takes up the bottom half of the screen. It’s a straight, Point A to Point B map. There are no “dungeons” in the same sense that older Pokemon games have had. Caves, forests, and other places to explore are kept to a minimum, and when there are some, they’re usually presented as part of the game’s “trials” which replace the gyms from older games.

Which would be fine, if it didn’t hold your hand through trials just in case battling a singular wild “Totem” Pokemon with slightly higher stats than usual was too hard for you. It tells you very clearly where to go, what to do, and how to do it. The mini-map on the bottom screen, which is an unfortunate waste of UI space, always has a very clear marker point of where you’re supposed to go. It’ll even offer you little hints. Say, didn’t the professor go that way, you know, where the little red flag is? Gosh, there might be something important there. Let’s go there.

There’s genuinely a point in the game where the map will present a goal for you, and then instead of just letting you go there, you’ll walk out and find that an NPC was out there waiting for you with a brief cutscene telling you which way the mini-map, that’s always on the bottom pointing you in the right direction, wanted you to go. And then it’ll proceed to lead you there, having you follow the NPC all the way to the trial site. You know, in case a giant red flag on the bottom screen was too hard to find.

And that’s after the fucking two island-long tutorial.

This was a big step in making the game autism-proof, I get it. It was to make sure that the generation of kids raised on Angry Birds and fidget spinners could play the game just like everyone else. But there’s no way to turn it the fuck off? I wanna play Pokemon games too. Come on.

Pretty much every older DS Pokemon game used the bottom screen in a better way. Even Pokemon Ranger. I’d rather draw fucking circles than put up with this bullshit. Sure, make the completely redundant mini-map the default. But there’s so much more you could’ve put there.

The incredibly promising Poke Pelago, a touch screen-based way to interact with your Pokemon, is locked away in menus when it could’ve easily been at your fingertips at all times. And on top of that, every time you want to use it, you need to watch an unskippable cutscene of your trainer traveling to the fucking Poke Pelago just to use it.

The touch controls are also fairly sloppy with Poke Pelago, something surprising considering Pokemon’s years of slowly perfecting its touch screen UI. There’s so many tiny sprites on the bottom screen moving around, it’s easy to accidentally tap the wrong thing when you’re just trying to collect some God damned beans.

So many strides have been made in eliminating annoying quirks that the games have had for ages, and yet all the tiny steps towards progress are fucked up by glaring bad design choices.

It’s really sad, it really is. It’s like a Miss America pageant contestant in Pokemon game form. It’s really fucking gorgeous. I’d fuck it. And the script, clearly, had had a lot of work put into it. But in the end, it’s just really fucking stupid. If you asked Sun and Moon what it meant to them to be a Pokemon game, they would ramble on incoherently about Pokemon games bringing people together for ten minutes, and then point to an Alolan form Pokemon and say “Kanto, remember?” You can get your favorite Pokemon from the first games, but now they have a much more exotic penis.

And yet even with the shitty execution, I still felt the emotional climax at the end of the game. Which made it so hard for me to accept how much I hated it. By the end of the game, I wanted to love it, I really did. But now all I feel is the disappointment of how much better it could’ve been if they didn’t butcher it.

A Pokemon Sun and Moon where I get to explore all of the islands without cutscenes every couple steps. Where there aren’t ten different forms of point markers to tell you where you’re supposed to go at any given point, and I can play the game to its fullest without worrying about accidentally overpowering myself. Almost every cutscene ends with someone giving you ten Max Revives. And they heal your Pokemon for you on top of it. There was really no reason to ever use healing items or Pokemon Centers, which are now conveniently located on almost every route now instead of only towns, because everyone would heal you before every major battle anyway. There was a time where I actually used healing items, because I was towards the end of the game. But no, they were wasted. As soon as I approach this powerful, endgame trainer, someone steps in and pitches me an entire medicine cabinet and heals my Pokemon for me.

There’s a difference between “Oh, just turn the Exp. Share off, then it won’t be too easy” and “Oh, just don’t talk to anyone, don’t buy anything, don’t battle too much, don’t explore the miscellaneous side-quests on each route, don’t use the Poke Pelago, turn Exp. Share off, don’t look at your bottom screen, ignore all of the cutscene dialogue, and don’t do any of the StreetPass Festival Plaza shit or whatever. Come on, it’s not too easy”.

It’s like if they made a reality TV show where you have to live in the same house as 8 different grandmas, but try not to get fat from them stuffing you full of food. You can refuse all you want, but they’re gonna get you. Even if you eat only three times a day, you’re gonna die of cardiac arrest. And you’re only allowed to murder one, the rest have to go from natural causes. There’s no way you’ll take home the million-dollar prize. You have better chances of beating the robot from Jeopardy.

Even the obnoxious feature where Pokemon call for help doesn’t do anything to balance the game, it just makes it more of a drag.

“Too easy” or “for casuals” would be the cop out verdict. The truth is that the game is just miserably balanced, relying on an instant gratification-style of gameplay and a slow-paced narrative that makes the game intolerable. The point where things start actually getting good is the brief half hour before it cuts to the credits, and then the game is over before it even starts.

It’s like not being able to get your peepee up and then when it’s finally up you blast your load immediately.

I think a lot of people did not actually like Sun or Moon, despite the overwhelmingly positive reviews. I don’t think a lot of people played it all the way through, actually. It’s a lot like when No Man’s Sky launched, and everyone was pretending to love it until someone said something about it. Several people told me Sun and Moon was just fantastic, and then they’d say “yeah, I’m on the second island now” and then they’d just leave the game for something else.

I think a lot of people just watched all the leaks and then beat off to hentai of the new characters and then just pretended like they finished the game. Not saying that no one at all enjoyed the game, I’m sure a lot of people did. A lot of people could’ve looked past the glaring flaws and loved it for what it was.

That doesn’t stop the fact that it’s still the only Pokemon game I’ve ever played that I didn’t have fun with. And that will be a mark of shame that the game has to wear. I almost wish that all I did was watch the leaks and never play the game. I could’ve lived with the illusion that Pokemon could do no wrong.

But no. I had to be a gentleman and learn the names of all the trainers before looking up hentai of them.

This is why chivalry is fucking dead.

#pokemon sun and moon #3ds game reviews #nintendo #game reviews #pokemon sumo #lord waffle king dot com #like lord waffle king dot com on fb #www.lordwaffleking.com #it'll stop being broken soon i promise #i am so fucking pissed #i just wanted to play pokemon #this review couldn't wait #i was really mad

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puppypaw-wc · 3 years

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okay it’s time for some rhythm ranting (i came up with that and i am so fucking proud of myself for it)-

so rhythm heaven megamix is the fourth rhythm heaven game, preceded by three other games (as you may guess): rhythm tengoku for the gameboy advance, released in 2006 in japan only, rhythm heaven for the ds, released in 2009, and rhythm heaven fever, released for the wii in 2011/2012 and for the wii u in 2016. as megamix’s name implies (esp it’s japanese/korean name, rhythm tengoku (in japan)/rhythm world (in korea) the best+), it’s a mix of lots of rhythm games from past games. not all of them, though, because the developers wanted to spite us by not putting bon odori in. /j oh and like people like dj school and shit and it’s not in it. people modded dj school in though, no i am not kidding, people literally modded in a full game and i don’t know how. i mean donk-donk and tambourine have also been modded in somewhat for remixes but anyways back to my point-

the rest of this’ll be under the cut tho-

so one of my main problems with megamix is some of the game choices. rhythm tengoku only had 25 unique, non-sequel rhythm games. out of those, nine were excluded. that’s almost half. for perspective, though, three of those games are bon odori, rap men, and toss boys, which basically need audio cues to be played. bon odori relies on it’s song, where you clap whenever they say “pan” and clap twice quickly when they say “panpa”, rap men relies on its audio and you do something different depending on three different kinds of cues, and for toss boys you need audio cues to know who it’s being tossed to. and logically, they’d likely want to translate the games, so given that they seemingly didn’t get that big of a budget for dubbing, they weren’t included... but quiz show was. what’s the problem with quiz show, you may ask? well rhythm heaven as a game is a rhythm game. quiz show literally doesn’t require rhythm. basically the host will press the button a certain number of times and in order to pass the game you just need to press it the same amount of times. that’s literally it. in megamix you get the game’s skill star if you press it to the same rhythm, but it’s still not required. it’s also dumb because you literally have to play it perfectly in order to pass it. all you need for a perfect is to press the button(s) the same amount of times. if you press a button the wrong number of times, the game ends once the number you were supposed to hit it is revealed. quiz show is literally pointless. the only times it’s used well are in remixes in tengoku. in remix 6, at least in silver, it uses the previously played game, the clappy trio, as a hint, with the host asking, “how many members are in the clappy trio?”, before hitting the buttons three times. in remix 4, the rhythm for both the quiz segments goes with the music. i mean on the last one he can add an extra press and it’s fucking bullshit but whatever. i’m not mad. but my point is that in megamix, they added a game that doesn’t require rhythm as opposed to a multitude of actually liked games from tengoku. there’s non-included games that don’t require audio cues, i should add. showtime, polyrhythm, tram and pauline, wizard’s waltz, and for fuck’s sake, thinking about it, the games that likely weren’t added because of audio cues wouldn’t HAVE to be dubbed. just do what the tengoku fan translation did and translate the on-screen subtitles but leave the audio in japanese. please just give us bon odori stop holding them hostage-

i talk about tengoku but i’m pretty sure rhds is the game with the most non-included minigames. ds was played sideways, almost purely using the touch screen with the exception of rockers 2 in the last set of games. it had a unique control scheme, with three types of controls: tapping, where you just tap the screen with the stylus or your finger; flicking, where you flick your stylus or finger like you’re making the end of a checkmark, according to “the secret of flicking” reading material thingie you can read when you unlock the cafe; and sliding, where you just. slide your finger. megamix only has tapping, and even then that’s only when you’re using simple tap mode and i don’t want to imagine how that handles games that use the b-button. as i mentioned, tengoku had almost half of its games missing. ds has twenty-five rhythm games if you include the credits game airboarder. ten of those weren’t included. that may not seem like a lot, but ds is most peoples’ favorite rhythm heaven game, and two of the most loved games in the fandom, dj school and love lab, are from rhds, and neither was included in megamix.

fever has the least cut games over all, with only five of its original rhythm games being cut. fever had twenty-nine original rhythm games, with one more (rhythm test) also appearing in its remix 10. the ones that didn’t make it in are tambourine, donk-donk, tap troupe, shrimp shuffle, and night walk. night walk’s exclusion was probably since gba night walk made it in and they didn’t know how to name them differently, bUT YOU DID IT WITH THE KARATE MAN GAMES??? DID WE REALLY NEED ALL OF THE KARATE MAN GAMES, A PREQUEL, AND A NEW GAME? THAT’S FIVE DIFFERENT KARATE MAN GAMES IN MEGAMIX. THAT’S TOO MANY TIMES TO PLAY THE SAME GAME. granted only three of those times are required to beat the game (prequel karate man, gba karate man/karate man returns!, and karate man senior), but my point still stands, they gave us literally every karate man game but not night walk or something. it’s especially dumb to me because they gave figure fighter both a prequel and its sequel because they looove figure fighter... instead of including shrimp shuffle, which really desperately needs to be included, please let me know what a frame-perfect input looks like so i don’t keep getting barelys that look fine because like all my inputs are barelys but they still break the perfect-

,,, onto another thing before i break something or kill someone.

so the dubbing for megamix is a little odd. as i said, the game likely didn’t have that big of a budget for dubbing, especially when compared to other games in the series. the prologues for games use the same three or four generic fonts despite the japanese version using the original fonts, the returning games that have lyrical songs just use the original version of the song with the exception of fan club 2, the two lyrical remixes weren’t dubbed (komeki no story, lush remix’s song, is simply instrumental with english audio, while in the japanese version it has lyrics. i’m a lady now, honeybee remix’s song, is in english regardless of audio), and lastly,,, the dubbing for the returning tengoku games where there’s vocals.

so in space dance, the whole game uses audio cues. there’s three of them in total: “turn right”, where you press the right d-pad button on “right”. note that when they say it it does not sound like they are saying turn right. at all. i’m not sure why, it’s not just the gba’s bad sound quality because well. bon odori exists. and also because it’s the same in megamix when you use the japanese audio. my immediate thought is accents but i don’t know if japanese accents are a thing. might just be because of the fact that japanese people tend to pronounce r’s as l’s? not sure though. “let’s sit down”, where you press the down d-pad button on “down”. it also doesn’t sound like they’re saying “let’s sit down”. and lastly, “pu-pu-pu-punch”, where you press the a-button on “punch”. in order to punch. because that’s a dance move. like seriously, space dance is fun but how is this a dance? um anyways, in the english version of megamix they changed it so it’s more clear what’s being said but the dubbing’s not the best. firstly, they changed “turn right” to “and pose” even though that is definitely not posing. it’s weird since. that’s the only one that was changed. i don’t know how to describe what they did to space dance and most of y’all probably don’t play rhythm heaven so you don’t understand, so here’s a perfect gameplay of space dance with japanese audio (it took time to find), and here’s one with english audio. ,,, okay so the english one’s of cosmic dance because i. forgot what exactly i was doing. and got distracted looking through the comments. so now i know that they still reused space gramps’ voice for cosmic girl in cosmic dance. which like. wut? you redubbed it but you. you still reused. you still reused space gramps’ voice for her? megamix dubbers are you okay? i’m kind of concerned.

the other game that has audio is purely japanese audio. marcher/marching orders. it’s a keep the beat game where you play as a squadmate following the sarge’s orders. the rhythm heaven wiki’s description for it is basically what i said but they’re better at describing things then me so.

“In this game, a rookie is undergoing marching training with her squadmates while following their Sarge's orders. The player controls the rookie at the end of the line. There are four commands that the Sarge will yell.

"Attention, March!"

"Attention, Halt!"

"Left-face, Turn!"

"Right-face, Turn!"

The player must perform these with proper timing along with the other squadmates. Just before the game ends, the squadmates will be moved offscreen, still marching as the game ends.”

in the japanese version, the commands he says are obviously different, though i. do not know what he is saying. so have my attempts at romanizing it.

“gento susume!” = “attention, march!”

“gento commoback!” = “attention, halt!”

“meski meek!” = one of them? i don’t really know which and it feels inconsistent, at least in marcher 2. i think it’s right-face turn but i’m not one hundred percent sure.

“meski peek!” = the other one. so i think left-face turn.

,,, yeah i don’t know japanese, sorry if this (as in literally any of this) is offensive to anyone that does. i’m just trying my best. the wiki doesn’t say what he says in the japanese version. unlike for other games.

now in the japanese version, the sarge has a somewhat deep voice. but in the english version... he doesn’t.

um here’s a perfect in tengoku and here’s one in megamix that i think has english audio since. it says it’s the english version in the description. but i’m not listening to it.

u h my last nitpick with megamix is the prequels. so prior to lush remix, almost all the games played are prequels, easier and shorter versions of the actual games. after lush remix is completed and the towers of lush woods are unlocked (i’m just taking this from the wiki, wtf is lush woods), all the games from then on are the original versions, with “2″ or something else stuck onto them for the games that had prequels. this makes it irritating to find certain games on the wiki because it’s just like “no i don’t want normal wii micro-row i want wii micro-row 2 rhythm heaven wiki please” or whatever. also the picks for games that have prequels are all over the place, and some of the prequels’ music doesn’t seem to fit and makes it feel like all the patterns in the prequels for games like rhythm tweezers and clappy trio are the exact same. is it the exact same? because if so then that’s cool (i suck at rhythm tweezers and clappy trio-) but also very boring. i get that they wanted to start people with something easy but some of the games that have prequels were already easy. karate man (gba) is literally the first game in tengoku but it still has a prequel. rhythm tweezers is the second game but it has a prequel. clappy trio’s the fifth and it has a prequel (granted it is kind of hard). fillbots is the third in ds and it has a prequel. air rally is relatively early on in fever. you get my point. and the weird thing is that in some cases at least, games that have prequels which remove stuff from the actual games don’t have practices for things in the actual version. for example, air rally’s prequel doesn’t have forthington (the cat) changing distances, except for the last one which he apparently always catches, but wii air rally obviously does. granted, the rhythm’s the exact same when he’s far away (for some reason? i don’t think that’s how it should work-), but it should still have practice. oh and in air rally they just completely removed the clouds that semi-block the visuals later in the game. yeah i don’t know either. that seems to be the only instance of that occurance, though.

another prequel nitpick: so i love rhythm rally. like it is the best game in ds imho. it’s fun, it’s not that hard (it is kind of hard but i still have fun), though i do play on emulator, god knows how hard it is when you’re like me and don’t know how to consistently flick dear god send help- but u m in megamix rhythm rally has a prequel. which may not seem bad or anything until you learn something. megamix rhythm rally is the shortest game in the series. showtime from tengoku is seven seconds longer while munchy monk from ds is twelve seconds longer. rhythm rally’s prequel is thirty seconds long. thirty seconds. t h i r t y s e c o n d s . d,,, don’t paddlers literally have to play ping-pong to not get like. really sick? i don’t think thirty seconds is a long enough ping-pong game to avoid that- y’all’s planet is literally named ping-pong but you only play for thirty seconds. on top of a flower. okay wtf is with the scenery on this planet, it has a resident rhythm heaven void that we should be concerned about why are there so many voids, s p a c e i t s e l f , a giant flower, and a giant cake. two concerning things and two things that are weird but not concerning. seriously though why are there so many voids in the rhythm heaven world? someone should look into this, i’m concerned.

u h anyways that’s all. have a good day.

#puppy rambles #rhythm heaven on main #rhythm heaven #rhythm heaven megamix #i already posted something like this on my dedicated rhythm heaven blog so :/#i just brought up that i nitpick about megamix and was like ''h m i should. do that''

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