#in a way no one else does

[pirdmystery]

a thing that happens to me sometimes is I scroll through sylgrid tags and legitimately get misty eyed like I love them so fucking much and I can barely even explain why

#i think it’s kind of like. #two highly misunderstood people who are both averse to earnest emotional expression #but understand each other essentially perfectly without having to say a thing #in a way no one else does #and most of their relationship is characterized by teasing or scolding #to the point where whenever they stop and are genuinely like hey btw you’re incredibly important to me #it just overwhelms me man #also imagine knowing everything about sylvain and seeing him at his absolute worst and loving him anyway #aaaaand post #sylgrid

[fluffyartbl0g]

Yes, they are all housemates or roommates (except for Vivi who's discord calling in another country RIP)

Part 2

#modern au #sanuso #usosan #stardew valley #one piece #op fanart #usopp #sanji #nefertari vivi #tony tony chopper #nico robin #luffy and zoro actually room together- usopp is only gaming on zoros computer because he wanted 2 keep it all a secret XD #cant do that while gaming right next to the man in question o _ o #Usopps computer is way better than zoros computer (cause usopp is an epic GAMER and not a filthy CASUAL) #so Zoro was totally down to switch with usopp (hes playing overwatch with every1 else rn) #that does unfortunately mean that he has to game next to the shit cook though XD

[classicslesbianopinions]

the other thing about being disabled in academia is everyone is like "yeah we can't do much about the buildings they're old :/" as if "old" being a synonym for "inaccessible" isn't just a constant reminder that the people who built the school did not imagine that someday someone like me might study there

#mod felix #obviously there's some stuff that's way more accessible with like. electricity. like. i can get to the second floor. for example #but like. it's still possible to have. for example. ramps. if you as a culture value disabled people and their work #i miss when i was at a school where 'these are old buildings' meant 'these buildings were built for cows instead of people' #rather than 'these buildings were built for students just not students like you' #and of course this is another one that applies to many marginalized groups and like. many groups more than disabled people #in the sense that like. my school was also built to explicitly exclude people of color. for example #but i speak from my own experience and my own experience is characterized by ableism more than anything else #but like . again if you read this and you're like 'this feels like it applies to me in ways unrelated to disability' #well it probably does.

[kagoutiss]

pelican town, ‘72

#stardew valley #stardew valley spoilers #sdv #sdv spoilers #grandpa #mister qi #mr. qi #idk how dates work in stardew universe im just bullshittin #i love qi’s huge fucking eyebrows you dont notice them at first but theyre there #(gives our collective grandpa a ponytail) i think he had one. whatever #’why isnt mister qi blue’ my hc is he is blue from long-term iridium supplementation #and was originally just a regular person #but also it’s nice to see ur fav be like a normal human color #if u read tag essays tho consider this: #qi discovers secret to immortality (consuming iridium in a specific manner) #wants to share discovery with his farmer (player’s grandpa) and in that way. they will have all the time in the world to build #a perfect farming/business empire whose legacy will last forever and ever and theyll be 2gether forever #but it turns out. like a lot of normal people would. his farmer does not want to live forever #and obv he doesn’t #in an attempt to try not to ever lose the thing that means more to him than anything else in the world. qi inadvertantly ensures he will #because his farmer is dead. and he’s going to live forever #but. it’s kind of ok. because he has infinite money and was able to figure out how to talk to his dead bf #and now YOU help them fulfill their joint goal of making the farm’s legacy last forever #smile. heart #sobbing

[chrollohearttags]

meg baby, I promise we’ll all look the other way if you decide to strangle that chimera ant built bitch. I promise we won’t say nothing.

#nicki got to be one of the nastiest bitches I’ve ever seen in my life #you ain’t had a fucking hit in 10 yrs good enough to act the way you do #it’s crazy it took her being so vile to meg for ppl to get it #it’s always ‘protect blk women’ w/her until it’s somebody she don’t like lmao #and her only beef with her is that she collabed with cardi #the only one who stuck by her side mind you so ofc she #she’s been terrible and I remember back in 2017 when ppl jumped me for ‘defending a Latina woman’ over her #the same bitch that co opted a hashtag meant for missing and murdered blk women for her own bullshit #while cardi was using her platform to speak up for breonna Taylor and police brutality? oh okay #she’s a nasty witch and her karma will come #rap beef aside #‘how you got 3 Grammys and can’t stay on beat?’ #how are you the supposed queen and been rapping since Jesus was in Jerusalem but have zero? #bringing up her dead mother..you deserve to rot #cherry chats 🍒 #I’m so happy cardi no longer feeds into her bullshit and lets her stupid ass talk to the wall #all the new girls are outshining her and I’m so glad they don’t have to grovel to her #the fact that these girls just came out and are her competition says more abt nicki than it does Meg cardi latto or anybody else #her peers should be missy kim queen latifah etc #and yet she’s linking up with 23 year olds and beefing with girls 20 years her junior #guess that predator spirit run in the family huh

[serotoninisheldinkiwis]

im on my bs yall /lh/j

sorry im gonna be not normal abt tf:one but i watched the trailer again and realized somethin wasn't quite right w the way elita-1/ariel moved

and yall

I REALIZED IT LOOKED OFF AND I ZOOMED IN AND???

SHE ROUNDHOUSE KICKS BUT SHE KEEPS A FOOT F I R M L Y PLANTED. HOMEGIRL SWIVELS HER HIPS INDEPENDENTLY OF HER TORSO AND LEG TO GET POWER BEHIND THE KICK. IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE SHE'S A ROBOT SHES NOT A HUMAN HER JOINTS ARE DIFFERENT THAN OURS.

STILL. THATS SO COOL AND IT ALSO ISNT ANYTHING I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF MYSELF. THATS SO COOL.

#CYBERTRONIAN ANATOMY MY BELOVED #this does raise some Questions #are the legs literally ball sockets? are there no connecting wires? #but the questions are being ignored due to sheer UTTER EPIC FACTOR #BRO I HADNT EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT #the joints being able to move independently of each other... for a robot it makes SENSE #IM GONNA GO INSANE??? THIS IS ACTUALLY SUCH A COOL IDEA #imagine what else could be done with this... imagine epic battles where they can move in ways humans just CANT bc theyre NOT HUMAN #AND THEIR JOINTS ARE DIFFERENT #ITS AN ENTIRE NEW WAY TO FIGHT AND IM GONNA SCREAM ITS SO COOL #transformers #transformers one #maccadam #elita 1

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 171

Danny would like everyone to know it was a complete accident. Look, normally he was really good at not altering the timeline! He was! 

But the dude was definitely not in the right Time, and he had to get his trust which took so long, like damn he thought he had anxiety. Seriously though, kevlar in the 1700s? Yeah that wasn’t right, and Peepaw always complained about the messes that the speedsters caused, so he was trying to prevent a mess by tugging the dude away and helping him out. 

Falling in love maybe a little, was not in the plan. But honestly the man had a worse sense of self preservation than he did as a teen and was also straight up adorable, in a wet cat  who could kill you sort of way. 

So maybe he helped the dude grab a child that was going to be drowned. It wasn’t like anyone else saw them! Even if similar situations might’ve happened a few different times. 

Still, no one saw them! 

So why is there now a small cult who worships the Shadowed one and Radiant one, aka his companion (who would not give his name save for B, which, fair, probably didn’t want to accidentally wreck the timeline either) and well, him?! At least they worship them as guardians of children, but uh. Should he maybe, perhaps, fix this…? 

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #Spirit Halloween #Danny is in fact an Adult in this #He helps CW out with time stuff & getting stuff that fell through natural portals back to the Zone #Does Danny ever mention his affection for Bruce during their travels together? No. #Was it obvious to literally everyone else who was not Bruce? Yes #Danny is inwardly dying while learning about the cult he accidentally made because they decided that the Radiant One & Shadowed One are lov #Tim has a way easier time proving Bruce is in the past when he stumbles across one of the organization’s meetings #The cult-isn’t-exactly-a-cult and more like a minor religion focusing on the protection of children #Bruce is going to have a headache when he gets back to modern day #Hey he at least still has that cloak of shadows that his travelling companion (Call me D then.) gave him to help hide his not time appropri #League: Batman is dead #RR barging in: Batman is alive & in the past & definitely met some sort of higher being or spirit or something #League: Who the fuck are you-

[theremharths]

Ohh I’m thinking about how Londo and G’Kar’s friendship comes not from realizing that they’re similar but from finally understanding that they are actually completely and utterly different. because so much of their early conflict in season 1 comes from projecting onto each other and making assumptions based on their own behavior

#words tag #g’kar’s utter authenticity and complete himselfness #against londo’s 150000 layers of falsehood and bullshit #that we know everything about g’kar’s past and nothing about londo’s #but! that g’kar also knows all of londo #in a way no one else does #flooded himself with so much londo knowledge that it nearly killed them both

[transmascissues]

today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.

i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.

i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.

i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.

and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.

#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to #as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about #i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i’ll never stop being angry for her #for all three of them but especially her #i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons #the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day #i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does #it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too #most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations #they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies #i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia

[musubiki]

danmarch 🐉💎

#honkai star rail #dan heng #march 7th #danmarch #fanart #hsr #what else do i tag. i have no idea #anyway. im breaking my VERY LONG oc art streak to post my one(1) contribution to star rail #i care them very much #ive been playing this game so religiously and they have not left my team #tragic past(emo) vs tragic past(girly pop) #theres NO WAY with marchs very teenage girl mind that she does not have a crush on the hot cool mysterious yet caring dragon guy #who stays in the room right next to her #and the fact that he teases her so much........ #the whole ass belabog quest he throws in little harmless march roasts every so often #he fucking CARE her #i bets shes like a filipino mom with that camera. every oppertunity (picture!!!!) #and dan heng gets dragged into it #he is honing his photography skills against his will #any nice place? shes like (lemme pose can you get a photo of me?) #dan heng just sighs #they bond over silently judging stelle rummaging through the garbage #cast each other that best friend glance as half her body is sticking out of a trash bin #i like to think you see them hanging out on the train together #with dan heng reading some obscure 8th century book on civilization pattern and development #and march is humming and putting stickers and aesthetic shit in her scrapbook #taping a piece of antimatter legion loot in the middle of a page #and with bubbly handwriting (we beat some bad guys today!!! <333 so fun!!)

[thatswhatsushesaid]

psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead

but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open

#the spirit of su minshan possessed me for a minute there but like. i'm fine with it #jin guangyao #he did crimes??? good for him 😌 #editing this post to add that while the tone here is clearly joking #i really am fundamentally still engaged with this fandom #and with this book #almost exlcusively because of my enjoyment of jgy #even xiyao is secondary for me like i love it and i'm ride or die for it obvs #but jgy as a character is the main draw for me. and he would have me by the throat even if there was no zewu-jun #(tho i think jgy's life would be more depressing for his absence obviously) #but he is just. /clenches my fists!!! #THE most compelling character in the story and i cannot stop thinking about him!! cannot will not!! #who else in this book has his range? who else can be the doe-eyed idealist AND the spy with blood on his hands who ends a war? #who else is two different greek tragedies and at least two separate shakespearean tragedies rolled into one antagonist #an antagonist who but for the POV of the novel could very easily have been the protagonist #whose moral event horizon is so deeply entwined with his own trauma and abuse that there is no way to meaningfully separate #the violence he does to others from the systemic violence that was done to him for his whole life? #who else in this book manages to get five separate sect leaders utterly obsessed with him no matter how you choose #to interpret that obsession? #no one!!! that's who!! #ain't no one else in the jianghu doing it like lianfang-zun and that's just a goddamn fact

[kagekitsuneoflight]

It’s kinda funny that Jason is, in every sense of the word, the most normal Robin. Unironically, there wasn’t anything uniquely special about him before he was Robin. He was a street kid. His dad was a goon (which makes sense for Gotham. It’s a goon breeding ground) and his adoptive mom was a girl who fell in love with the bad boy, got disowned by her upper middle class parents and adopted her boyfriend’s infant son. Even his biological mother isn’t anything special! She was just a doctor who ended up becoming corrupt.

Jason Todd was no circus kid who could do an impossible signature trick. He wasn’t being scouted by some evil hidden organization.

He wasn’t the rich boy genius who lived next door.

He’s not the son of a supervillain (as lame as cluemaster is, he still *counts*).

He’s not the secret son of Bruce Wayne.

And he’s not a metahuman, nor did he led a whole organization of teens to fight when Batman couldn’t.

He’s the most regular boy to ever enter become a hero in Gotham. He wanted to do good things for the sake of doing good. He grew up poor with regular parents, where bad things happened to them. The kinds of things that could happen to *any* person living in Gotham.

There is nothing about him, pre-Robin and as Robin, that makes him Not Like Regular Kids.

His dad was a goon (who, depending on the run, was either killed by Two-Face OR. Just sent to prison and killed in prison! Which makes his backstory even PLAINER-) and his mother was a drug addict with cancer. Jason ends up homeless, and almost steals the bat mobile tires. The only thing that makes him stand out from any other tragedy befallen kid in Gotham is the fact he was bold enough to do that, get Batman’s attention, and continue to be bold enough to go against a crime lord (who was apparently his grandmother, the most interesting person in his family, but since she’s almost never brought up, she’s likely no more significant than a one-issue villain in the crime lord power hierarchy). Batman realized that Jason wasn’t going to really stop, and honestly he kinda grew on him, so he decided to adopt Jason, and eventually allow him to become Robin.

There just isn’t anything amazingly special about his backstory. The few moments where something could have been done to make it more interesting (like his biological mother) but ended up taking the most boring option. You can’t do much of anything now to enhance his past without upsetting much more well established canon, and not without making people wonder “well if his grandmother was such a big name in crime, why hasn’t she been brought up before?”

Jason Todd was a wonderful Robin (providing that he actually has a writer who likes him). He has a golden heart, he’s the voice of reason. He’s everything that a Robin needs to be for Batman. But compared to everyone else, he was nothing special. In a way, his lack of Not Like Regular Kids makes him stand out in a much more subtle way.

As if someone asked the question “Do I need to be someone special to be Robin?” And the answer was “You don’t need to be someone special, you just need to be brave, like Jason Todd was.”

#jason todd #robin jason todd #seriously they could have made anyone his biological mom. to add drama. to add spice #but they instead said ‘well. he’s a simple kid’ #everyone else is some delicacy food at a dinner table. and Jason? Jason is like. tomato soup. #HOWEVER. i will NOT forgive the disregard of making Jason stand out from his siblings more. #everyone has a specific niche that they noticeably can excel #or like. a very specific villain is like ‘YOU. i want to train YOU to be MY sidekick.’ #or or. the backstory alone is enough to make them stand out. #Jason gets uh. crime? he’s good at killing people. #which isn’t even consistently his Thing by the way since no one knows where to put him on the hero to villain scale #if only there was something he could have that no one else does! #\*i stare long and hard at the All Caste and Magic* #shut up kage #edit: I’m so!! CLUEMASTER. ITS CLUEMASTER.

[autisticandroids]

FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.

[youtube with closed captions]

dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.

(via @closetoyou1970)

#spn #vid #mind the warnings on this one for real #woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye. #pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl. #also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise #anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator #is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else #and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters #that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's #not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under #alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does #because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it #so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way #i am using them to make my argument. #oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to. #i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through #into everything in his life #that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.

[beatcroc]

there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #arting #pizzaposting #so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that #and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it #not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow. #he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT! #since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine #he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)' #so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you' #and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to #who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower #making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to.... #it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative. #thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino #i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now #nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact #he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that #and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine #is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf #gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man. #anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo #pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here #''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy. #gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything. #if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''

[hayaku14]

KAISHIN STANS WE EATING GOOD

#kaishin #kidco #kaitou kid #edogawa conan #dcmk #detective conan #YO DETCO STAFF I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE #I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT #WE WANT THE EXACT SAME THING SWEETIE CALL ME UP AND LET'S TALK GAY DETECTIVE AND THIEF CHASING EACH OTHER UNDER THE MOONLIGHT 😏 #the way conan is reaching out in a desperate attenpt to catch kid and kid jumping just an arm's reach away but also having his right hand #near conan as if in a defensive stance but can also be seen as a protective motion just in case conan falls or does something reckless #JUST DEFINITIVE KAISHIN RELATIONSHIP IN ONE FRAME #THE WAY CONAN ONLY HAS HIS EYES ON KID AND NOTHING ELSE AS HE RECKLESSLY REACHES OUT FOR KID AAAAHHHHHHHHH #IM GONNA LOSE MY FUCKIGN MONG OVER ONE GODDAMN FRAME #brain: now imagine if that was shinichi and kaito #me: RAAAAHHHCJIFFJDKJCSKDNCKSNAKXJ FUCK #dc prattles #this is from the new ED song btw lol

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

#i hate when people try to tell me i didn't do it right #what should i have done better #i did it ALL the right way #(not that there is a right way) #it's just that others feel comfortable believing that THEY did it the right way and that's how they made money #whereas i must have just committed a sin somewhere in there! i MUST be doing it wrong!!! #and i'm not a victim!!! im simply experiencing consequences! #and im like. where . where. wherewherewherewhere #i graduated top of my class. i was almost the student speaker. #i have always excelled at work and i work hard #i have been working since i was 13 #WHERE !!!!! IS MY FUCKING !!!! MONEY!!!!!! #ps please do not make the assumption i am ablebodied or neurotypical. #i am neither of these things. #it DOES get worse if u are either of those things. so fuckin much #but @ the one anon who was like ''u could be X that would be worse u don't know how lucky u are'' #.... don't i? #do i need to be luckier than someone else #or is it possible we are BOTH victims? #and that we need to work TOGETHER to resolve it #not just wave it off since it COULD be harder for someone else... it can be true we BOTH deserve better