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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

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OMG HAPPY 2OO LUV!! ILYSM, AND YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE MORE!! AS EXPECTED I'M HERE FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT AND I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE KSDJFHSDF

1 | name : amie 2 | pronouns : s/her 3 | preferred gender : doesn't really matter 4 | self-description :

— it's ya clown sho <3 anyway, i'm an ambivert but more inclined towards the introvert side. my MBTI is INFJ and i'm a Gemini. i'd describe myself as someone who's very observant? yea, i guess. i'm awkward and you know it. My favorite color is blue, specifically sapphire, but i love all pastel colors. My fav show is Chicago Medical and all the psychological and crime thrillers out there are my favorite ( silent patient is my #1 though ) I love painting, playing piano and basketball!

— what i look in a partner you ask, uh, someone who can tolerate my silence. there are times when i go quiet for a whole day, i'll barely speak, no interaction nothing. i want someone who'd not exactly 'deal with it' but 'understand it.' also, i want someone who i can talk to without any hesitation. i have a hard time opening up so i don't do it but when i do, i spill almost everything. i might cry, might have anxiety attack, i might even shout. i know it's not very healthy but i want someone who can help me with those. plus someone who i can read with please <3 cheating and not having any respect for personal space would be the major deal breaker for me

5 | gen. aesthetic : my fashion sense starts from sweats and ends in sweats. i'm a big fan of those oversized hoodies and shirts, like something really comfy. however, i do have a collection of formal wears like blazers and dress.

6 | color/s to describe myself : red, actually. if not read then blue. it switchers but red 90% of the times.

7 | fav song/s : literally everything by Chase Atlantic and The Neighborhood. However, my absolute favorites are some of the famous classical pieces like Experience by Ludovico Einaudi and Chopin's Ballade No. 1 Op 23.

8 | fav genre of music : classical music ( Beethoven, Einaudi and Chopin own my heart )

Lol this is very lengthy I'm sorry, btw congrats again!

I looked into MBTI, I looked into zodiacs, I went off of what you said

Here he is, the man, Seijoh’s do-it-all guy

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO ur new boyfriend

There is not enough content for him, anyway

How You Met

Bear with me here

Think about this

Artist!hanamaki

You love painting? Art club.

Idk if youre actually in any art club but shhh

Anyway, it was probably some sort of community thing full of tons of different age artists (bc you’d have basketball or something after school and he had volleyball)

So like once a week on thursday afternoons everyone gets together and does all sorts of artsy stuff

Everyone listens to lo fi music (or you can bring headphones) and chit chat and just paint for a couple hours

Its in the back section of a library (bc the library near me does stuff like this its awesome) so if you want you can go read a book while you wait for things to dry

One day the person that ran it suggested you talked to the new guy

He was about your age, it was his first day, they didn't know what all he was good at, and tbh they thought you two would look cute together

Just the vibes yk

So you set up your canvas and stuff next to him and introduced yourself

And you guys just vibe to the playlist

He’s REALLY good

Compliments you a lot too

Which is fun because he’s cute so it makes you a little flustered

You find out you guys go to the same school and he’s on the VB team

And says he has a (practice) game that weekend and asks you to come if you can

Which you do

And they win! So its fun!

Matsukawa basically asks you out for him though

He’s heard all about you already

“You don't get it issei! She’s so pretty!! God, she touched my hand and I thought I was gonna die!!!!!” “the enthusiasm is new for you” “shut up asshole” (conversation from the night before)

So he walks up to you after the game and is like “Hey so,,, we’re going out to get some lunch, you wanna come?”

Makki thinks HES flirting with you and is pissed off about it

Until you all sit down for lunch and oh, the only open spot for him is next to you (since when is matsukawa willing to sit between iwaizumi and oikawa??)

He asked you out after art club that week (Mattsun threatened not to give him any more monster for the rest of the month if he didn't get the guts to do it)

General Headcanons

You date hanamaki, you're also dating matsukawa

There’s no separating them (good thing ur MBTIs work together too, especially for strong friendships)

This was literally my first thought

Good luck with both these trolls

More on that later

Of course he’s going to be worried if you go radio silent for a while, but he'll understand

There are some days he’s not gonna wanna talk either

He’s really supportive on your bad days of course

Expect a random text in the middle of the evening from him

“Hiya sweetheart, just wanted to remind you that you’re beautiful, I love you, and I hope your day is going well.”

When he’s having a bad day, the same thing is all he needs from you to keep moving

He’s a really honest person. If you want to talk to him, be prepared not to get any sugar coating. If you tell him to shut up because you don’t want advice, he will. But if you expect advice from him, expect brutally honest advice. Subtlety is not his strong suit, so when it comes to advice, he’s going to tell it like it is. He's just trying to help, yknow?

However, he’s pretty good with people, so will know how to comfort you when something is bothering you. Tea and cuddles? Gotcha. Dancing at 11pm because neither of you want to sleep yet? On it. You want him to hold you? Perfect.

He’s not like...the most touchy person? There are some things he’s really indifferent on, and other things he’s stubborn as hell with. Whatever you wanna do, though

His weakness though

⚠️this part is slightly little bit suggestive⚠️

He will randomly walk up to you and pull you against him, give you a really deep kiss, smirk and walk away like nothing happened

Like hands in hair probably almost making out and then just

Walk away

Because that’s how he kisses and it’s breathtaking every time

It’s either little temple kisses or forehead or cheek pecks or something

Or that

And probably leaves you flustered and it’s funny (to him) (and to me if I was there with you) (bc that would be funny)

Hmm I’m thinking

I’m thinking hair dye dates

He needs help doing his hair from time to time Y’know (he doesn’t he just likes spending time with you) and he wants to make it pink again

So he teaches you how to do his hair and even offers to dye yours one day

Either just a strand or the ends or everything, up to you

Imagine having twinning hair dye with makki isn’t that cute

I think it’s cute

I said ur platonically dating mattsun right

Yes you are now

He absolutely adores you and loves how much makki loves you

Probably would have asked you out if makki didn’t but he was really pushing for makki to because he was just all over you in the beginning

He wasn’t overly attached to you romantically so being friends? Perfect. Sounds great

You two get along wonderfully though like you act like siblings once you warm up to each other

Again, very brutally honest person, but a little more awkward so doesn’t know what he’s saying might come off as he’s acting like a dick

He doesn’t try to though and he does really care about you

Flat out told makki if he breaks up with you and breaks your heart he’s gonna kick his ass (makki doesn’t know he had the same (less aggressive) conversation with you)

Tbh all of the VBC at seijoh loves you

Oikawa loves talking to you he thinks you’re great for makki

Gets you in on he and makki and mattsun’s antics

Iwa thinks you’re good too he just doesn’t know you as well

I think that kunimi would like you (he was almost a runner up--)

Kindaichi too

The first years just think you’re cool even if they won’t say it out loud

Seijoh VBC loves you

You got mattsun’s approval

And hanamaki loves you with literally everything in his life

You’re pretty set with your strawberry baby huh

Date Night!

SLEEPOVERS

I was waiting for some matchup to come along that gave me sleepover vibes

In a perfect world where you could do sleepovers with your bf because most parents would,,,not let that happen

Imagine…

He shows up at like 7:00 after practice, pizza in hand because he picked up dinner

You two eat, chat about your day, he probably scarfs down half the pie bc it’s after practice ofc he’s hungry

So when you guys are done eating you head up to your room

And make pillow fort

It’s mandatory

Different design every time, but there’s a pillow fort nonetheless

And then when there’s just enough room for the both of you to climb in

You get a blanket and a couple pillows and one of your phones or laptops or whatever and watch a movie and cuddle

When the movie is over you guys break out the face masks

You ever wonder why he has such great skin? It’s thanks to you (or if you don’t have masks, he picks them up on the way home from practice)

But anyway you guys talk shit about people for a while and sit with the masks on (it’s usually him talking about how Oikawa is a bitch as much as he loves him) (or about whatever he and Mattsun were talking about lately)

You both get chances to vent while the masks sit on your face and you just vibe with music (usually that you pick) (he listens to like,,,meme songs and like CORPSE yk)

After masks you guys make/get some snacks and munch on those during another movie but this time you’re in comfy jammies and more relaxed Y’know

Less paying attention to the movie you’ve seen a million times and just vibing in each other’s presence and it’s just really sweet

Fall asleep on his chest

Let him fall asleep on yours

Either way, you’ve got him whipped for you he loves you

Not that he doesn’t already but that’s his favorite thing ever so please just let him do that

Always makes sure to tell you he loves you before you sleep too

If you fall asleep first he takes embarrassing pictures of you with your hair being a mess & you best bet he sends them to mattsun because “she’s so cute omfg” “dude” “dude what” “you’re so fuckin stupid” “?” “Whatever—good luck being whipped just tell me when you need to get a ring, k” “you’re such a jackass” “yeah yeah Gnight”

Zodiac/MBTI

Okay so I’m not doing a big long paragraph for all this BUT from what I understand, Gemini/Aquarius are really compatible, and ENTP and INFJ are known as “perfect matches” sO (I had a really hard time deciding between Atsumu and Makki because they're both ENTP)

Psst Gemini + Leo is compatible and so is INTP + INFJ,,,, so, again, asking you to marry me sho 💍💍

Aesthetic/Vibes

Playlist

Prelude and Fugue No. 1 in C major, BWV 846

Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio (meme song)

Sky Full Of Stars by The Piano Guys

Someone To You by The Piano Guys

Shut Up And Dance - Simply Three

Runners Up

Miya Atsumu, Tsukishima Kei

#sho — 💍#//ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘꜱ

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theradioghost · 4 years

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I don't know if you're still doing podcast recs, but if you are, I really like dramas, horror, sci-fi, honestly anything that gives you the feels (especially if it has lgbtq+ rep). I am not much of a comedy person though unfortunately. The only podcast I finished was tma and I really loved it.

The recommendations are always on tap here, whenever my askbox is open! You might wanna check out:

Archive 81, for a found-footage horror about mysterious archives of tapes full of encounters with otherworldly horror, dark rituals, cults, and a long-suffering archivist with the same name as the show creator who plays him, which despite all that could not possibly be more different from TMA and yet easily matches it as one of the best horror stories I have ever enjoyed. The sound design on this show is basically unparalleled – where TMA has fairly minimalist sound design, A81 goes all out. Quite a few lgbtqa+ folk also.

I Am In Eskew, for a surreal, Lynchian horror about the city of Eskew, where it’s always raining and the streets are never the same twice, as narrated by a man who is trapped there and the woman hired to find him. Take the most viscerally disturbing episodes of TMA as a baseline for how intense this show is, then imagine the Spiral built a city and invited all the other fears over for a party. Also right up there as one of my favorite horror things ever, and recently ended, so you can listen to the whole thing right now.

Within The Wires, for a found-footage scifi dystopia, telling stories from an alternate-history world. Three of the four seasons focus on lgbtqa+ leads, and the first season, a set of instructional meditation tapes provided to a prisoner in a shadowy government institution, is still some of my absolute favorite creative use of medium and framing device ever.

Kane and Feels, for a surreal noir-flavored urban fantasy/horror hybrid, about a magically-inclined academic (and sarcastic little bastard man) named Lucifer Kane and his demon-punching partner with a heart of gold, Brutus Feels. They share a flat in London, they bicker like an old married couple, and they fight supernatural evil. This show WILL confuse the hell out of you and you will enjoy every second of it.

Alice Isn’t Dead, for a weird Americana horror story about a long-distance truck driver, criss-crossing the US in search of her missing wife. Along the way she discovers that both of them have been drawn into a dangerous secret war that seethes in the empty and abandoned expanses of America, and that inhuman hunters have begun to follow her. Also finished! And as the title kind of gives away, the lesbians do not die!

Janus Descending, for a sci-fi horror miniseries about two scientists sent to survey the remains of a dead alien civilization on a distant planet, only to learn all too well why the original inhabitants have disappeared. You hear one character’s story in chronological order and the other in reverse, with their perspectives alternating, which is done in an incredibly clever way so that even technically knowing what will happen it still holds you in suspense right to the end. Also, it made me cry, a lot.

SAYER, for a sci-fi horror with a touch of dark comedy, and probably the single best use of the “evil AI” trope I have ever seen. Tells the story of employees of tech corporation Aerolith Dynamics living on Earth’s artificial second moon, Typhon, in the form of messages from their AI overseer SAYER. The first season is great, the second season is okay, and the third and fourth seasons are fucking amazing.

Tides, for a really interesting sci-fi about a lone biologist trapped on an alien world shaped by deadly tidal forces. It’s different from just about any other sci-fi I know, focusing more on the main character’s interactions with and observations of this strange new world, where she’s very aware that she is the alien invader. (Also I don’t think any of the characters are straight.)

Station to Station, for a thrilling sci-fi mystery where a group of scientists and spies on a research ship (the ocean kind) discover that the time-warping anomaly they’re studying might be causing people to vanish from existence. Corporate espionage and high-stakes heartbreak abound. (And once again I’m not sure anyone is straight.)

The Strange Case of Starship Iris, for Being Gay And Doing Crime IN SPACE! Or, decades after a war with an alien species leaves humanity decimated and under the control of totalitarian leaders, the lone survivor of a research mission joins up with a ragtag crew of rebels and smugglers to figure out why the very government she worked for tried to kill her, and to stop them from inciting a second war. 100% lgbtqa+ found family in space heist action and it’s glorious in every way.

Unwell, for the horror-ish Midwestern gothic story of a young woman who returns to her hometown to help her estranged mother after an injury, and discovers that there is something just a little bit wrong, not just with her mother, but with her mother’s house, and with the whole town. Subtle and creepy. The protagonist is a biracial lesbian, one of the other major characters is nonbinary, the cast in general is super diverse.

The Blood Crow Stories, for an lgbtqa+ focused horror anthology! The four seasons so far have been the stories of an ancient evil stalking the passengers of a WWI-era utopian cruise ship, a dark Western mystery about a group of allies trying to stop the mysterious killer known only as the Savior, a 911 operator in a cyberpunk dystopia who starts getting terrifying phone calls from demons, and strange and deadly goings-on at a film studio in the golden age of Hollywood. Everyone is Very Gay and anyone can die, especially in season 1.

The Tower, for a melancholy experimental miniseries about a young woman who decides she’s going to climb the mysterious Tower, from which no one has ever returned. Quite short and very, very good.

Palimpsest, for a creepy, heartbreakingly sad and yet incredibly beautiful anthology series. Season one is the story of a woman who suspects her new home is haunted, season two is a turn-of-the-century urban fantasy about a girl who falls in love with the imprisoned fae princess she’s been hired to care for, and season three is about a WWII codebreaker who begins seeing ghosts on the streets of London during the Blitz.

Mabel, for a part-horror, part-love story, the kind of faerie tale where you feel obliged to spell it with an E because these are the kind of faeries that are utterly inhuman, and beautiful, and dangerous. Anna, the new caretaker for an elderly woman, leaves messages for her client’s mysteriously absent granddaughter Mabel. An old house in Ireland has a life and desires of its own, few of them friendly. Two women fall in love and set out for vengeance against the King Under The Hill. Creepy, strange, and gorgeously poetic.

Ars Paradoxica, for a sci-fi time travel Cold War espionage thriller. Physicist Dr. Sally Grissom accidentally invents time travel, landing herself – and her invention – in the middle of a classified government experiment during WWII. As the course of history utterly changes around them, she and what friends she can find in this new time must struggle with the ethics of what they’ve done, and the choices they’ll have to make. An aroace protagonist, Black secret agents, time-traveling Latina assassins, Jewish lesbian mathematicians, two men of color whose love changes the course of time itself, this show says a big fuck you to the idea that there’s anything hard about having a diverse cast in a period piece and it will break your heart, multiple times. Also finished!

The Far Meridian, for a genre-bending, poetic, at-times-heartwarming-at-times-heartbreaking story about an agoraphobic woman named Peri who decides to begin a search for her long-missing brother Ace after the lighthouse in which she lives begins mysteriously transporting to different places every day. I can never forget an early review that described this show as “the audio equivalent of a Van Gogh painting.” Suffice to say it is beautiful, and fantastically written and put together.

What’s the Frequency?, for a Surrealist noir horror mystery set in mid-20th-century LA. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I can really explain what goes on in this show, but it features a detective named Walter “Troubles” Mix and his partner Whitney searching for a missing writer. Meanwhile, the only thing that seems to be playing on the radio is that writer’s show Love, Honor, and Decay, which also seems to be driving people to murder. Fantastically weird, deliciously creepy.

Directive, for a short sci-fi miniseries about a man hired to spend a very, very long trip through space alone, which doesn’t seem all that sad until suddenly it hits you with Every Feel You’ve Ever Had, seriously I don’t want to spoil it so I won’t say anything more but listen to this and then never feel the same way about Tuesdays again.

Wolf 359, for honestly one of the best podcasts out there, containing all of the drama and feels, seriously this show ended over two years ago and I still cry literal tears thinking about it sometimes. It has definite comedic leanings, especially in the first season which reads a bit more like a wacky office comedy set in space, but it takes a sharp turn towards high stakes, action, and feelings and that roller coaster never stops. Take four clashing personalities alone on a constantly-malfunctioning space station eight light years from earth, add some mysterious transmissions from the depths of space, toss in some seriously Jonah-Magnus-level manipulative evil bosses, and get ready to cry.

or, may I suggest Midnight Radio? It’s a lesbian-romance-slash-ghost-story completed miniseries about a late-night 1950s radio host in a small town who begins receiving mysterious letters from one of her listeners, and I have been assured by many people and occasionally their all-caps tweets that it provides ample Feelings! (also I wrote it.)

#holy fuck when did this answer get that long?#anyway I uh. hope at least one of these sounds good to you!#podcast recs #bobbie recommends things #Anonymous #asks #my posts

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esabri · 4 years

Text

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necessary scharf sharp Flügel wing schaffen create Nachbar neighbor Wasch wash Fledermaus bat eher rather Menge crowd mais corn vergleichen compare Gedicht poem Schnur string Glocke bell abhängen depend Fleisch meat einreiben rub Rohr tube berühmt famous Dollar dollar Strom stream Angst fear Blick sight dünn thin Dreieck triangle Erde planet Eile hurry Chef chief Kolonie colony Uhr clock Mine mine Krawatte tie eingeben enter Dur major frisch fresh Suche search senden send gelb yellow Pistole gun erlauben allow Druck print tot dead Stelle spot Wüste desert Anzug suit Strom current Aufzug lift stiegen rose ankommen arrive Stamm master Spur track Elternteil parent Ufer shore Teilung division Blatt sheet Substanz substance begünstigen favor verbinden connect nach post verbringen spend Akkord chord Fett fat froh glad Original original Aktie share Station station Papa dad Brot bread aufladen charge richtig proper Leiste bar Angebot offer Segment segment Sklave slave ente duck Augenblick instant Markt market Grad degree besiedeln populate küken chick liebe dear Feind enemy antworten reply Getränk drink auftreten occur Unterstützung support Rede speech Natur nature Angebot range Dampf steam Bewegung motion Weg path Flüssigkeit liquid protokollieren log gemeint meant Quotient quotient Gebiss teeth Schale shell Hals neck Sauerstoff oxygen Zucker sugar Tod death ziemlich pretty Geschicklichkeit skill Frauen women Saison season Lösung solution Magnet magnet Silber silver danken thank Zweig branch Spiel match Suffix suffix insbesondere especially Feige fig ängstlich afraid riesig huge Schwester sister Stahl steel diskutieren discuss vorwärts forward ähnlich similar führen guide Erfahrung experience Partitur score apfel apple gekauft bought geführt led Tonhöhe pitch Mantel coat Masse mass Karte card Band band Seil rope Rutsch slip gewinnen win träumen dream Abend evening Zustand condition Futtermittel feed Werkzeug tool gesamt total Basis basic Geruch smell Tal valley noch nor doppelt double Sitz seat fortsetzen continue Block block Tabelle chart Hut hat verkaufen sell Erfolg success Firma company subtrahieren subtract Veranstaltung event besondere particular viel deal schwimmen swim Begriff term Gegenteil opposite Frau wife Schuh shoe Schulter shoulder Verbreitung spread arrangieren arrange Lager camp erfinden invent Baumwolle cotton geboren born bestimmen determine Quart quart neun nine Lastwagen truck Lärm noise Ebene level Chance chance sammeln gather Geschäft shop Stretch stretch werfen throw Glanz shine Immobilien property Spalte column Molekül molecule wählen select falsch wrong grau gray Wiederholung repeat erfordern require breit broad vorbereiten prepare Salz salt Nase nose mehreren plural Zorn anger Anspruch claim Kontinent continent

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gldncge-blog · 5 years

Text

❝ ----------- 𝖆 𝖌𝖔𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖓 𝖈𝖆𝖌𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖆 𝖈𝖆𝖌𝖊

illya masnik. luke hemmings. twenty four. bianchi aligned.

【 ✞ ———— 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 】

◟ * ◊ ─ luke hemmings + cis male + he/him » * believe it or not illya masnik is working for the bianchi family. they are 24 years of age and are known to usually spend their time around buena vista apartments. the singer, who has been a part of the alliance for 2 years, has been living in victoria for 5 years. the people closest to them describe the pansexual + pisces to be + stolid and + conscientious as well as - equivocal and -resentful » ◦ ° delphi, twenty, she/them, est◝

【 ✞ ———— 𝕠𝕠𝕔 】

first name illya. last name masnik. middle name regret. which,, honestly same. wow hi i’m super excited for this. this is what ive been waiting for and y’all look hella talented. hi hello i’m delphi and as expected i’m late to the party :’) this is my bb illya who should probably be dead by now. yeehaw. my muses??? they exist to suffer. thats the sparknotes version of it. but ill put a whole unnecessarily lengthy thing about him below sdlkjsald. i’m in the est and i’m currently working full time but im so happy opening is on a sunday because i can actually be here for it sjkdas but enough about meme !!

【 ✞ ———— 𝕙𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 】

BORN IN KIEV, UKRAINE - illya would be the eldest of four children. his mother an adventurous american woman, and his father a man who had never left his homeland. their son was a happy child who spent most of his days and nights at the local church. a fate one could not avoid when their father was the church’s ever dutiful music director. it shocked no one when the eldest masnik boy soon became a constant fixture in the youth choir. looking like he may have found his niche, his parents pushed him to hone his talents. his free time not spent in worship was reserved for vocal lessons. in time, illya outgrew the pews. as a teenager, he instead chose to perform in festivals, cafes, and the venues that would have him. while he was successful in ukraine, he’d soon decided he’d like to finish his studies in the united states, believing there to be better and bigger opportunities in america.

AT NINETEEN - he found a home in victoria, florida. his mother’s hometown. his studies never truly panned out like they should have, wasting a year majoring in theology before officially throwing in the towel and returning to music full time. the next few years were spent building up a resume. odd jobs that barely paid the bills. things only began to turn up when he began landing jobs as the backing vocals for groups. it had started small, not much money in it nor recognition --- but he slowly climbed the ladder. an undeniable talent. in time he landed a job as the backup vocals for a band famous enough to earn him some status. the band embarked on a small tour around the states, and while it had been fun, illya quickly came to realize it wasn’t the life for him. in actuality it was not the spotlight he desired, no, he’d come to miss the little things about his passion. the smaller cafes and venues often led to tighter bonds. a more humbling experience that allowed him to truly connect with his audience. like the days back home, under god’s watchful eye.

TWENTY TWO - and life as he knows it ends. for better or for worse. a flame in his life plants the idea in his head. the bills were starting to pile up again and desperation seemed to be a constant state. PLAYERS. it’s no place he’d normally be found. the sort of joint he’d sooner cross the street to avoid. but his lover promises security. stability. burdened with a touch of naivety, he’s sold.

PLEAD IGNORANCE - all he wants. he knew what he’d stepped into the moment he crossed the door’s threshold. there were no gods here. no savior. no salvation. you’d be eaten alive.

IT PAYS - wasn’t that all that mattered. most days he’s good at turning a blind eye to what happens behind closed doors. a false picture of innocence. skin with no traces of ink or metal, liquor that never makes it to his lips. the constant struggle to not lose the boy he was back home. but no one there was innocent, innocence was a lamb to the slaughter. two years in and he regrets it. of course he does. three long years since he’s seen his family. the masnik’s youngest now refuses to speak to the long-departed illya. birthdays, graduations, holidays, funerals, he’s missed them all. bitter, he longs for home, but fears he’s found himself in too deep. innocence was a lamb to the slaughter, and he could not afford to be the lamb amongst wolves.

【 ✞ ———— 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕤 / 𝕕𝕦𝕞𝕓 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕥 】

essentially illya was born in ukraine. his family was super religious and he spent a lot of time in church, also due to the fact his father was the music director there. he obviously had a natural talent in the choir and his family helped him pursue music by getting him lessons and stuff. he does a good handful of cool stuff in ukraine and decides he wants to study in america ( where his mother and her family are from ) and also sees it as an opportunity to grow musically. obviously the scene in america is pretty hard to get into, so he still does small cafe like things until he starts doing backing tracks/vocals for bands. starts off really small but he starts to work for bigger bands/companies until eventually, he gets enough recognition to go on tour with a well-enough known band. don’t imagine them to be super famous, but enough to have a handful of radio hits.

decides he’s not crazy about the touring band life and wants to return to working in smaller more personal venues. works for a bit until the money starts to run out and then his partner at the time suggested applying at players ( they would have been part of the gang so it was his in ). he does so ( obviously ) gets in and likes to play innocent but he has a pretty good idea of what he’s getting into, don’t be fooled. still kind of churchy / anal, doesn’t do the whole tattoo, piercing, drinking, wild life. he’s more reserved if anything. he’s really still trying to hold on to that holy life. newsflash, asshole. it’s gone.

now he’s starting to regret everything :) #somerugrats but obviously, he’s going to be super tightlipped about that and just carry on. in reality, he’s super homesick and he knows his family life is suffering. he’s missing giant milestones for his siblings back home and now his youngest brother won’t even talk to him so yeehaw. but uhh he’s not really sure he’d be good to just up and walk away because he’s in a bit deep now, two years deep. he’s probably seen some shit.

if he was brave enough to tell his family something was up it would probably go something along the lines of “ mom, i think i joined a cult ”

he wants to be that peace out gif THIS one,, yeah

he’s gonna die,, dumbass is 100% gonna get himself killed. but for now, he’s gonna fake that shit till he makes it. no chill.

【 ✞ ———— 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 】

pen pals / old friends ; okay since his mother was american - i’d imagine he’d come around as a kid to see her family ( his grandparents and stuff ). give me something cute like they hit it off as children and kept in touch all these years. or maybe his mom used to be friends with your muses parents so they met that way.

someone toughen him up ; he’s awful. there’s a murderer out there and god i hope these string bean legs can run because self-defense???? we don't’ know the meaning of the word. gun?? not in my good christian server. someone just hELP him.

someone he takes home / travels with ; head out of the gutter. could be someone at players or they live in a similar location, and with a string of murders, it’s probably safer to not travel alone. so maybe they drive each other home on occasion or walk together. just keeping each other safe.

bad / good influence nonsense ; obviously he’d probably be the good influence on someone because he’s not really the bad type. so he might try to look out for someone he really sees burning out and going down a super bad path. vice versa, give me someone who really wants him to get a tattoo or take that shot. someone remind him to live a little or do bad things. honestly,,, i’m a sucker for angst and stuff so it could even be more like getting him to stop being so paranoid about the darker aspects of the gang. if you think he isn’t turning around and hauling ass outta there when he sees a back room being used for beating someone or some other violent nonsense

someone who is suspicious of his doubts ; obviously he’s trying to play his cards pretty close to his chest and doesn’t voice his concerns to anyone. but i’d love to see some people who question his hesitance or might be on to him having doubts about continuing to be in the gang. he’s not going to own up to any accusations but this could add some interesting tension and make for interesting interactions.

people he avoids at all costs / fear ; these would be the more violent members of the gangs. maybe your muse has a reputation. this is probably suitable for characters who are out there committing murder in the name of the gang or commit violent acts. he tries to steer pretty clear of that but they’re likely passing through players and stuff. they’re bound to run into each other. bonus points if they’re not actually as dangerous as they seem - illya’s just paranoid, maybe he walked in on something he shouldn’t have and i- OOP

the flame that got him involved in the gang ( 0 / 1 ) ; really i was just gonna throw this up as a wc but sdjsadj ill stick it here as well. really this could be an exes plot, probably with a lot of resentment on illya’s part. he may have been open with them about wanting to go back home, and blames them for his situation even though he knew what was happening. its just bitter bitter bitter.

#i went to the store halfway through this #im a fucking idiot #who let me out of my cage #this isnt going to show up because this is a new blog yeet #victoireintro #i actually dont think there's any triggers in this wow how pg-13 of me #death tw #drinking tw #like mildly just about nonexistent #violence tw #just to be safe but v brief mentions #in passing #10$ says i forgot to add something to this #now i need to read ALL the intros

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sweetmemories2606 · 6 years

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Jerza Songfic: All Of These Stars

Hi, people.

I don't even know where this came from, seriously. I was supposed to write Unforgivable today, but then I listened to the amazing song All Of These Stars by Ed Sheeran and it just occurred to me how much it fits with Jellal and Erza.

The ideas just kept coming and I was like "I must write this now before I lose my mind".

I'm considering this the prompt for Jerza Week Day 7: Complicated, just because I couldn't think of anything for that one and I really wanted to finish it.

Sorry this is so late!

Title: Everything Led Back To You

Pairings: Jerza (duh), Jellal & Ultear & Meredy friendship

Summary: After learning that Erza is dead, Jellal struggles with his conflicted feelings about it. Pain, sorrow, denial, hope, regret. It's an endless cycle that led no where and the question remained: would he ever manage to move on from Erza Scarlet?

Timeline: This story is set during the seven years time-skip after the Tenrou Island Arc.

WARNING: This is really angsty, so be prepared to get your hearts broken.

Word Count: 2200 words

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12973217/1/Everything-Led-Back-To-You

It's just another night

And I'm staring at the moon

I saw a shooting star

And thought of you

Jellal sighed while staring at the star filled sky. It was late; too late for him to be awake, but he couldn't sleep. He hadn't been able to do so ever since the news of Erza's apparent demise reached him.

"I'm so sorry, Jellal." He remembered Ultear's sincere apology after her and Meredy were forced to tell him the truth. He remembered the compassionate, understanding, sorrowful look upon her face.

But she didn't understand; she couldn't because she never loved someone as much as he loved Erza.

Or maybe she did, he thought, maybe the way she felt about sweet Meredy was similar to what he had felt about the red head.

Even so, she hadn't lost the person she loved most. She wasn't constantly haunted by nightmares of losing her all over again. She didn't need to try to go on after getting her heart broken in the cruelest of ways.

"Why did you have to go, Erza?" Jellal whispered, silent tears streaming down his face.

It had been a year now, since he learned it. Not a day would go by that his desperate heart didn't hope that it was all lies and she was okay.

He remembered her face so clearly. Those beautiful, giant brown eyes that were so warm and caring. The smile that he rarely got to see, but lit up his whole world. The unforgettable scarlet hair that he used to love running his fingers through.

He wished he could do it again. He wished he could go back in time, back when they were just two lost children trapped in a tower. When they were close friends, before he ruined everything.

Jellal frowned at the memory of the day he sent her away. It would never leave him; his sins were always there to remind him why he never deserved her.

Trying to shake the thought away, he looked once again towards the beautiful sky; just as a shooting star appeared.

I sang a lullaby

By the waterside and knew

If you were here,

I'd sing to you

He had never been one for songs; always too embarrassed to ever sing. However, when Erza asked him to sing to her on a rainy night when they were alone at the tower-he didn't even remember where the others had been-, Jellal hadn't hesitated.

He would've done anything for her; to make her feel better and so he obliged to her request.

After she lay down with her head on his lap, he began playing with her hair before humming a familiar tune. He didn't remember the song's name, but the melody would forever echo inside his mind.

It was their song, as Erza had called it, and the simple memory of singing to her brought a smile to his face.

You're on the other side

As the skyline splits in two

I'm miles away from seeing you

I can see the stars

From America

I wonder, do you see them, too?

He couldn't help himself from wondering if she might still be alive. Even after everyone had given up, he still refused to. Because he loved her too much, so the thought of her being dead was too heartbreaking to consider.

Even after Ultear had insisted time and time again that he would lose his mind if he kept looking for her, he still did. He looked everywhere; always searching for that familiar scarlet hair. But he never saw it again; the color seemed to have disappeared just as she did.

Every time he would stare into the night sky- it had become his newest favorite thing since he never managed to get a good night's sleep- he would wonder if perhaps, somewhere, Erza was looking at it too.

He wondered if they would ever see the same sky again or if it was just a faraway dream; an impossible hope that his heart needed to let go of. But he didn't, just as he didn't let go of her.

After all, letting go wasn't so easy and Jellal was stubborn as can be; so he refused to give up.

So open your eyes and see

The way our horizons meet

And all of the lights will lead

Into the night with me

He never forgot her words when they had met during the Oracion Seis incident. They were what kept him into the light, what gave him a reason to live even if all he had wanted was to die so that he could be with her.

You have a duty to stay alive. As much as he hated it, he kept following his duty. Kept trying to redeem himself so that he could be worthy of her when he saw her again.

But still, despite his stubbornness and hope, the question would still stab at his heart: would he ever see her again?

And I know these scars will bleed

But both of our hearts believe

All of these stars will guide us home

It hurt. Every single day. The memories, the constant reminders, it was all too much.

Now that they had returned, he couldn't stop thinking about the scars; both the ones he had inflicted upon her and the ones he carried himself.

Simon. Kind, protective and loving Simon. It was his greatest sin, one that he could never atone for.

And it killed him.

Jellal tried so had to make up for all the terrible things he had done, but the reminder that Simon's death could never be reversed left a hollow gap on his chest; a painful wound that would never heal.

There were many nights in which he would drown in self-hatred and sorrow; unable to forgive himself for murdering one of his oldest friends. Those were the worst times and he even tried to take his own life more than once; hoping it would make the hurt disappear.

Thankfully, Meredy and Ultear helped him get through it. They were always there for him; two amazing friends he didn't feel like he deserved.

Besides Erza, they were the only thing keeping him alive. Their comforting words, unwavering kindness and acceptance, endless attempts to distract his mind from the dark thoughts that threatened to destroy him.

He knew that they were hurting too, but they always pushed it aside and focused on him.

No words could describe how thankful Jellal was to them.

I can hear your heart

On the radio beat

They're playing 'Chasing Cars'

And I thought of us

He couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities, the what if's. His hopeful mind created many scenarios in which they might've been together. He imagined what a life with her would be like; a happy life.

He imagined being able to kiss her, touch her, love her.

In a world where he wasn't Jellal Fernandes, a convicted criminal that lived in the shadows, but instead just a man in love with an amazing woman.

He hated his cruel mind for coming up with all these thoughts and breaking his heart even more. Hated the smile that would appear when he imagined these impossible futures; the way his heart would beat so much faster when he thought of kissing Erza; the pain that would follow the reminder that it could never be.

A future that could never be. A hopeful dream he didn't want to wake up from.

Back to the time,

You were lying next to me

I looked across and fell in love

So I took your hand

Back through lamp lit streets I knew

Everything led back to you

Everything reminded him of her. It was like a curse, no matter how hard he may try, she would always be amongst his thoughts.

Whenever he saw anything that resembled red or brown, Jellal would remember her.

Even looking into Meredy's crimson eyes sometimes brought up memories of Erza; and he would have to avoid looking into them if he wanted to stay sane.

Because the memories drove him crazy. Good or bad, they were the main cause for his suffering. They were the only thing he had left of her and, while part of him wished to hold onto them; the other just wanted to forget.

Because remembering her hurt, way more than he could've imagined it would.

Everything just hurt. Being without her, imagining being with her, wondering if she was truly gone.

Everything had become so irritatingly complicated. But love is never simple; he had always known that.

It was an endless cycle of pain, sorrow, loss, regrets and possibilities. It didn't lead him anywhere and he knew Ultear and Meredy worried. Knew they wondered the same thing he always did: what would become of him? Would he ever manage to move on from Erza Scarlet?

You're the song my heart is

Beating to

So open your eyes and see

The way our horizons meet

And all of the lights will lead

Into the night with me

And I know these scars will bleed

But both of our hearts believe

All of these stars will guide us home

Even though he tried to reassure his companions that he would be fine and time was all his broken heart needed to heal, he doubted it.

Jellal knew that not even 100 years would erase the pain of losing her. If she was even lost, that was.

He was slowly losing himself; drowning in these conflicted feelings and memories. Trying to stay strong, to stay alive like he had promised her; but sometimes it was just too hard.

Sometimes he just wanted everything to stop, for the whole world to disappear into nothingness. Because as lonely as the emptiness was-he knew, he had felt it for a whole year while he was still imprisoned- it was still better than the overwhelming emotions that almost destroyed him.

He had been so close to finally giving up and letting himself go, when he heard the most joyous and impossible news: Erza was alive. She had been alive all this time, trapped on Tenrou Island.

At first, he hadn't wanted to believe it. Even after all those years wishing for her not to be gone, the notion that she might still be alive threatened his too unstable mind.

Jellal didn't want to hope anymore, he was tired of it. Years of dreaming and wishing had almost destroyed him and he knew that one more false hope might be the end.

So he was skeptical about it; ignoring Ultear and Meredy's happiness. He refused to believe that Erza was alive until he saw it with his own eyes.

And he did. Weeks later, he found her; and it was like time had stopped all of sudden.

He was frozen in shock, staring at the beautiful red head in disbelief. His heart beat faster than ever, so scared yet so full of hope and happiness. She was there, she was real.

Then she smiled, and it was all it took for him to completely break down. He was glad that there was no one else there, for he had arranged this meeting just between them.

Erza's smile turned into a frown as soon as he fell to his knees and started crying like the broken man he truly was. She worried, unaware of all the complicated feelings he had been struggling with.

Kneeling down by his side, she gently took him into her arms and held him like he had dreamed so many times. Her embrace was warm, comforting and he only cried harder.

It was everything he had wanted, everything he had needed.

She was everything. And he finally had her again and Jellal vowed that day to never let her go.

Even if she might hate him after what he had done, he wouldn't give up. He would become worthy of her so that someday they could share the future he had imagined.

A happy future. Once thought to be impossible, now much more than a fabrication.

It was okay to hope again because he had Erza and that was all he needed.

#jerza week 2018 #day 7: complicated #really late #fanfic #song #all of these stars #ed sheeran #jerza #jellal x erza #jellal & ultear & meredy friendship #really angsty #Tenrou Island #time skip #everything led back to you

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black-arcana · 3 years

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KRYPTERIA – AND THEN SHE CAME

Interview with AND THEN SHE CAME

Interview conducted Feb. 28, 2021 by Dan Locke

AND THEN SHE CAME Ji-In Cho (lead vocals), Olli Singer (guitars), Frank Stumvoll (bass guitar) und S.C. Kuschnerus (drums).

Ji-In, you are German-Korean. What is your upbringing?

JI-IN: Hello Dan, thanks for having us. My parents are both from Korea. They met in Germany where they married and started a family. I was therefore raised in a Korean manner in a German environment. You can imagine that this did not make for an easy upbringing or childhood. But it gave me the benefit of getting to know both cultures and maybe even the opportunity to combine what’s best of them.

How did you discover music?

JI-IN: I don’t remember a specific moment in my life. I remember our home as a home of music. My parents liked to sing or play guitar or piano and I remember dancing a lot to their favorite music. I am also told that I was singing all day long to songs I heard on the radio or tunes that I made up myself. So I guess that was the time where music became my inspiration.

How did you start to write music?

JI-IN: I wrote my first song when I was six years old. I always loved animals and I couldn’t understand why my father went fishing. When he came back with his haul I was very sad and refused to eat the fish. So I wrote my first song about not hurting fish.

Describe your music.

JI-IN: Well, I definitely didn’t write any more fish songs (laughs). On a more serious note, I can’t sit down and plan my songwriting ahead of time. Instead, I am more the spontaneous type who gives in to impulses, emotions, and inspirations from all around me. I try to channel those ideas, pictures, tunes, and feelings into my songwriting.

What was your first performance like?

JI-IN: If you mean my very first performance in my life, I played Maria, the mother of Jesus, in elementary school. I remember my first stage fright. After it was over I was very proud and I knew that I wanted to be on stage again.

What was the title of your first original song? Did you record it?

JI-IN: It was called “I go fishing”. And no, I did not record it back then as a young girl but today I wish I had. It would be a nice memory to share with my future grandkids.

You started off in Become One a German Boy/Girl pop band, and then you were cast onto the German reality television show “Fame Academy”. Tell me about the time on the show?

JI-IN: Right after my studies at the Cologne University for Music and Dance where I was trained as a classical musician I suddenly got tossed into the pop business. As a participant in the German television show ‚Fame Academy,’ I endured three competitive months of singing, dancing, and acting. Every week we had to prepare live acts for the elimination show that was recorded and broadcasted from a studio set every Saturday night. In the end, I won the competition together with five colleagues of mine. We formed the band Become One and went on tour for a year. This is how I received my very first recording contract with a major label. It was a very stressful and emotional time in which I learned a lot about the reality of the music business.

You have appeared with the likes of Phil Collins, Sarah Connor, B3 and Ricky Martin. Did any of these artists give you any words of wisdom about the music business?

JI-IN: There were so many things to learn and to experience during the show. The personal time with the visiting stars was too brief for any chitchat or personal talk, though. However, I did spend some time with Lionel Richie during a show event that featured all ‚Fame Academy‘ winners from many participating countries. He said to me then that we should never give up if we really feel the need to be an artist. I think about his words every once in a while and to me they still ring true.

Let’s turn our focus to And Then She Came now. Guys, describe the band’s music.

KUSCH: It’s hard-driving drums, heavy guitars and intense singing galore. It’s Rock, it’s Metal, there are quite a few alternative vibes but also some pretty catchy hooks involved, too. Lyrically we tend to steer clear of your traditional boy-meets-girl topics, but rather go for a more sociopolitical approach. Let’s say there’s not a whole lot of stand-by-your-man stuff with this band.

How does the songwriting process work between the four of you?

KUSCH: Well, everybody chimes in with different creative ideas as we are lucky to have four very imaginative musicians in this band who all write and arrange. We try not to limit ourselves and instead toy around with all our combined influences and delusions. But apart from that, there is no clear-cut recipe as to how we create our songs. In Shecameville there’s a new adventure every day (laughs).

Do you belong to any to songwriters’ organizations like the International singer-songwriter association?

FRANK: We do. All four of us are members of GEMA which basically is the German equivalent to your ASCAP.

What makes a good songwriter?

JI-IN: In my opinion, there is no strict recipe. I know there are some songwriters who have fixed methods and procedures but that approach does not work for me. I have to feel free in the creative process and do not like to be limited in any way. In the end, the only thing that matters is the outcome. I think a good songwriter is able to somehow touch the listeners with his or her music.

KUSCH: I agree in the sense that a good songwriter knows how to connect with his or her core audience first and foremost. So even though the songs may not be all that good you’re obviously still doing something right and are considered successful at your craft. Now, a great or even transcendent songwriter is able to touch people beyond any genre confines. That’s when the likelihood we deem it ‚good‘ music increases significantly. But you can’t underestimate the importance of the performance itself and also whether a given song gets a chance to be heard. If „Bohemian Rhapsody“ hadn’t been a hit, would it be a lesser song? I don’t think so. There are probably thousands of gems out there that never got a proper forum.

You used to be in the band Krypteria. Why did you change up the band?

KUSCH: In 2012, following a killer Asian tour, Ji-In was about to become a Mom so we unanimously decided to put Krypteria on hold for an indefinite time. Then one day our bass player Frank was asked to create the soundtrack for a German-American movie. But instead of taking on this task all by himself, he brought in Ji-In, Olli, and myself. The creative process took on a life of its own, and all of a sudden we found ourselves working on songs for a full-fledged Rock album. Now, even though And Then She Came started out as just a movie soundtrack project, we just had to go on. Why? Well, I guess we’re just unable to get rid of each other even after all those years, aren’t we?

How did you first establish your band back in 2004?

KUSCH: The three original guys in Krypteria first had a band together in the Nineties and despite not working together all the time we never quite lost contact. So when the idea of starting something new came up in 2004 all we needed was an outstanding vocalist. Preferably a vocalist with a knack for energetic performances while not showing any signs of lead singers’ disease. Ji-In, who we had met during a studio session a year prior to that, fit that bill just perfectly so we asked her if she was interested in jumping aboard, and fortunately, she was. Then Olli was brought into the fold in early 2010 so the four of us have been working together for more than a decade now albeit under two different names.

Krypteria’s single “Liberatio” was used as part of a charity campaign to aid the Tsunami victims in Southeast Asia. What is the musical difference between Krypteria and And Then She Came?

JI-IN: And Then She Came is much rougher and it’s more about the synergy of organic rock instruments and electronic elements. We like to think that we still have good melodies, though. That’s really important to each of us.

KUSCH: The main difference between Krypteria and And Then She Came might indeed be the edgier and less theatrical touch that is particularly evident in the arrangements and our individual performances. I guess thanks to said more organic approach we were able to again turn it up a good notch in terms of sonic intensity, depth, and the overall vibe right off the bat compared to our prior releases.

What else did you change compared to your time with Krypteria?

JI-IN: We consciously made the choice to release our albums by ourselves. Yes, it may be tough sometimes because of the extra work and responsibility this kind of independence and freedom entails. Especially for a lot of stuff that, at least on the surface, has little to do with making music. That said, it’s a tremendous opportunity to shape our future as a band as we see fit. And as Kusch likes to say, if we screw up, then at least we’ll die by our own sword.

How did you come up with the name?

JI-IN: Actually, we chose And Then She Came because we wanted people to think, to find their own interpretation as far as the meaning of the name is concerned. Just as there is never only one point of view or one universal truth, there are many possible interpretations for this name. Sometimes it’s very funny how just one headline can lead to different background stories in one’s head. Even with all the information out there you still have to come to your own conclusion. That’s why we found And Then She Came as a name very interesting. For instance, I naturally think about the name in a totally different way than some men do (winks).

Do you think that your old fans will follow your new band?

JI-IN: I really hope our fans from back then continue to find us and are happy that we are back even though it’s with a different kind of music. And I really, really hope that they like our new sounds and songs.

Tell me about your debut album?

OLLI: You could call it the beginning of our creative rollercoaster ride. It felt like all the unused creative energy was suddenly breaking through. This and the fact that ATSC actually started as a studio film score project is probably the reason for the enormous amount of different colors in our music. Now, after the release of our second album „Kaosystematic“ and being in the middle of the process of writing new material for our third album, I can clearly say that starting this journey is the best thing we have ever done so far.

How was it to work with Arch Enemy’s Alissa White-Gluz and guitarist Jen Majura of Evanescence?

KUSCH: Well, we’ve known Alissa for a number of years now, and not only is she a killer performer, but she is an amazing soul as well. See, she’s a pro’s pro. She’s a warrior, she has to be. But as a friend, she is super sweet and she doesn’t mind going that extra mile. When we asked her if she was interested in adding that signature beast mode intensity of hers to our song „Five Billion Lies“ she didn’t even blink. Now, Jen, we have known for way over ten years, and it’s always great meeting her at a festival, a show, or a music fair. She’s such a sweetheart and an awesome guitarist, and we’re so proud of her for hitting it big with Evanescence. Her guitar solo on our song „Spit It Out“ is nothing short of spectacular. It’s amazing musicianship, creative cleverness and a fistful of good-natured cheekiness all rolled into one. Beautiful!

What is your favorite video of all time you have created?

FRANK: My favorite ATSC video is our 2018 tour movie „As The Lights Go Down“ in its entirety. It brings back great memories of a fun tour.

KUSCH: Good call! Aside from that for me, it’s a close call between “As The Battle Rages On“, “Sick Of You“ and “Public Enemy #1“. That said I like the respective messages behind „Perfect As You Are“, both the video and the tour version.

OLLI: Definitely “Perfect As You Are“. Actually, we did two videos for this song. It was an extremely demanding shoot, cause I literally switched positions constantly. Between performing and directing there was no minute of rest. But it was absolutely worth it. I really enjoyed Ji-In’s playfulness in her role as ‚Korean Marylin Monroe‘. Yet the second version is my favorite. It takes the original message of the song and projects it onto the ATSC team as a family. It is still heartwarming for me to see our crew’s performance in front of the camera during the whole video. We love you guys!

What are your feelings about streaming music?

FRANK: While streaming is very convenient and fast, for us musicians there is no significant advantage in my opinion. Granted, your work is available to more potential listeners, but the net is being flooded with new digital content ever since streaming took over, so making a name for yourself is even more difficult than it used to be. Also, the artists merely receive breadcrumbs for creating the fuel these platforms run on. You simply cannot support yourself through streaming. That’s why all the bands have to make their money on the road. It’s a vicious cycle. The author and performer should get a fair share of the profits when their music is being streamed, similar to what we had in the past with mechanical releases. The only winner in this so far is the big media companies.

If you couldn’t do music what would you like to be doing?

KUSCH: Too scary! So in true Rock musician’s spirit, I’d probably choose denial and stick with something along the lines of ‚damn the torpedoes‘ or ‚the best is yet to come instead.

Digital vs. vinyl?

FRANK: That’s a good question. It depends on your preferences and maybe your age. Back in the days I really liked listening to one side of vinyl on constant repeat while closely studying the sleeve. It made me feel like I was a part of it. Digital made everything easy, you can carry the whole world of music and movies on your cell phone. But can you really develop a deeper connection to the work a musician put so much time and dedication into? Maybe that’s why vinyl has been making a steady comeback recently?

What is the mental health situation of the World?

OLLI: Over the years we met a lot of people all over the world. And with many of them, we became close friends. It is heartbreaking how they all tell the same. Egoism seems to be overtaking everywhere. And this started already long before the pandemic. There are so many challenges for us as a species in order to build a better and safer future. For us, for our children, and for our planet and its entire ecosystem. But unfortunately, people always find reasons why they themselves don’t have to act. Ultimately this egoism leads to most of our problems we as human beings have to deal with these days.

What song from the past is in your mind right now? Moreover, what does that song mean to you?

OLLI: “Where Do We Go From Here?“ from our first album. Not only because it was the first song we ever played in front of an audience. But also because it sounds like a good headline for every single day of the last year.

KUSCH: In times of turmoil it can’t hurt to put on „What a wonderful world“ or John Lennon’s „Imagine“. With so much deception, aggression, and us-against-them in the world right now a healthy dose of positivity is what we need. And even if you don’t agree with everything Lennon said or did you really must be an all-out asshole to not share the hope that someday the world actually will live as one.

Do you feel the Covid-19 virus is going to affect the music business in the future?

FRANK: No doubt about it, as it is currently killing the whole industry. All touring activities unexpectedly got frozen, and there’s no telling when we will be allowed to return to our every day’s work. Nobody knows what will happen and who will still be in business when it finally starts to return to some sort of normalcy. But there will be a very different musical landscape for all of us, I fear. More like a “new normal” similar to what transpired after the 9/11 attacks.

What have you been doing with your self-quarantine?

OLLI: Learning. A lot about myself and my very own abilities to stay strong in order to be there for my family. It has been a tough year and it still is. But love and hope keeps me going. My thoughts are with the people who lost a loved one. But in the end I am sure that we can come out stronger than we have been before. For sure that will be the case with ATSC. Somehow we are growing together even more. But I guess that is what artists are like. Make them eat shit and they deal with it in their own ways. Nonetheless it’s a tough fight for our and our families’ existence. I can already say that this is obvious when you listen to our new material.

Have you discovered or rediscovered any new hobbies?

FRANK: I’ve been running a lot lately, more than ever before actually.

OLLI: Not a new one. But I had much more time for my biggest passion besides the music. I am an outdoor guy. I even live between lakes, forests and mountains. So whenever I can, I just grab my backpack and vanish into the wilderness for a couple of days. You can’t find me at home, in a tourbus or in a studio? Try looking somewhere in the wilderness. But maybe you wanna bring a thermal imaging camera. Stealth as stealth can be!

KUSCH: For me it’s more and more long walks in nature, minus the vanishing. Also I had the chance to follow the NFL season more closely than I had been able to recently. Plus, the lockdowns we’ve had over here allowed me to work on some old gear I still had sitting around. And while this is all nice I can’t wait to go on the road, meet people and enjoy the overall experience again. I really miss it.

95% of people said that they have changed the way they watch television. This includes people who don’t have television and use their computers to do streaming of programs and movies. Which is your favorite streaming channel?

OLLI: I am a huge movie addict. So streaming platforms became a good alternative to me. Especially since I am spending a lot of time on the road. Carrying a DVD collection wherever I go wouldn’t be realistic at all. But to be honest I don’t have a favorite channel. Each one has its strengths. And yes, I have subscribed to probably every one of the known platforms (laughs).

How can bands keep their fans if they cannot play live in front of the fans and sell merch to them at the show?

KUSCH: Well, doing an interview with UnRated sure is one excellent opportunity to reconnect.

What about Holographic concerts in our living room?

KUSCH: Do we really need less incentive to get out of the house and interact with actual human beings? Or even more technology for that matter? Take Autotune or what CGI does to movies. What was created as tools to support the arts is now dominating them. For example, given the choice between 1982’s ‚The Thing‘ and what was supposed to be its prequel from 2011 I’ll pick Carpenter’s movie any day. Same with real-life concerts in actual venues with actual people on, behind, and in front of the stage.

How do you stay healthy while touring?

FRANK: Living on a tour bus and in venues for weeks at a time is obviously very different compared to being home. You need to get ready way before you go on tour and there surely are many ways to prepare.

My personal one is I run every other day. Now once a tour has started there’s always a big party happening on the bus after the shows with great loud music and you get your booze for the night. Come to think of it, maybe this is my personal way to stay not-so healthy while touring (laughs).

Is pay-to-play still a thing? Now pay-to-play also means things like playlist on the internet?

KUSCH: Well, I don’t know about the internet but in the touring business it is. That said, in Europe, it’s more that you pay your share of production, transportation or catering costs, things you actually benefit from. So it’s not like you dole out cash just to be allowed to perform in a support slot. At least we never had to.

Any new music coming up in the new year?

FRANK: Due to the situation surrounding the pandemic everything’s in limbo. But as soon as scheduling any concerts and tours make sense again, our third album will be out right away, be it this year or early in 2022. This band is never short on inspiration, after all within the first three years of our existence we’ve released two studio albums, a live album, a live DVD, and a tour movie. So naturally, we are writing all the time, exchanging ideas. If this Covid thing lingers on any longer we may end up with a total of 500 new songs. Good luck to us trying to decide which of these will make the record (laughs).

Anything you would like to say in closing?

KUSCH: Enjoy life cause it might well be the only one you have. And stay safe and sane out there cause we want our friends and fans to be healthy, so we will get to see you on tour at some point. For those of you who haven’t listened to And The She Came go and give our music a shot, you might actually dig it. And come and see us live if you can, but make sure to stick around after the show cause we’d love to get to know you better. And bring a friend or twenty (laughs).

JI-IN: Yes, we can’t wait to get out and meet you guys, and feed off your energy on stage. In the meantime take good care of yourself everybody!

#and then she came #ji-In cho #olli singer #frank stumvoll #s.c. kuschnerus #interview

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autisticblueteam · 6 years

Text

Different People (Carolina/Girlie)

Chapter 4 / 4: Unexpected

[AO3] [Ko-Fi in Bio]

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Drowning, Paralysis [other tags on AO3]

Girlie survived Longshore.

The sole survivor of her team, she found herself thrown out into the world with nowhere to go and nothing to cling to except the burning resentment she held towards the Freelancers. After years of aimlessness, when presented with an opportunity for revenge she snaps it up without hesitation.

But reality is never as simple as fantasy. People aren’t always what you imagined them to be.

Chapter Word Count: 5745

Notes: At the time of posting this hasn’t had my usual edits because it’s late and I want to get it up, but I’ll likely go through and edit it later. But here we go, final chapter!

The next few hours went by in a blur.

Girlie could do little but watch from the Warthog seat and then the Pelican as everything fell apart for the Chorusans. The General that owned the sword had been cornered and the reactor they were planning to set off with time to spare had been damaged. Destroying it manually was their only hope at taking out enough of Charon’s forces to even the field, but now the General would die.

Giving Felix the sword and the means to wipe out the entire planet with the turn of a key.

The idea she’d given them. The information she’d passed on.

Something twisted in her gut. A deep sense of guilt that she didn’t have the energy to process, not on top of everything that had happened with Carolina.

She could barely even look at her. Every time she did she felt sick in a way she couldn’t quite describe; it wasn’t that hatred she’d grown so used to but it wasn’t anything pleasant. Carolina had offered her mercy, she’d offered her a hand and she’d helped her come out of this with another chance. What was she supposed to do with that information?

In those few minutes on the ground in Armonia, before the city blew, she saw a side of Carolina she’d never acknowledged could even exist. Far past the one-dimensional ideas she’d built up of her and the other Freelancers, she saw her comforting Kimball and leading her to safety. She saw her scan the bay and check on everyone inside, even her. Saw her climb onto the roof of the Pelican armed with nothing but her armour, an AI and a bubble shield to deflect a nuclear blast.

The Pelican survived. Carolina stumbled back into the bay, collapsed against Washington. Everyone fell into an uneasy, anxious silence. Radio calls from other survivors came in and Kimball pulled herself together long enough to organise everyone, direct people to land in safe locations around the planet.

Their ship finally landed in a jungle canyon, connected to a crashed ship. People scrambled out as soon as the bay door touched the ground, greeted by the blue-toned soldiers she’d seen at the temple and a few others. The canyon was filled with Choursan soldiers in both types of armour, huddled in small groups.

This was what passed for a safe location. An open canyon in the middle of nowhere, isolated but unsecured.

Fuck. These people were on their last legs.

Girlie had to pull herself from her seat and drag herself to the edge of the bay. Sitting at the top of the ramp she watched everything go by. Teenagers in armour, some crying whilst others just stared at the ground. Medics checking over the injured. People coming and going from the wreckage.

No one came to her and she didn’t expect them to. Carolina had vanished with her team and Girlie sat alone, kitted out in Pirate armour. Those few who noticed her gave her dirty looks and it wasn’t like she could blame them.

This was partially her fault, after all. Not that they knew the extent of how, but…

Sighing, she lay back and covered her face with her arm.

Sure, she’d survived. But what was she supposed to do now?

Felt like she’d asked herself that question a lot in the past few years.

Time ticked by and Girlie was left there undisturbed. Silence usually welcomed spiralling thoughts and anger, but… not today. For once, she didn’t even think. Instead she just lay there, listening to the white noise of the jungle and the distance chatter of the Chorusans, until she heard shouting from somewhere else in the canyon. Shouting that echoed inside her helmet where it lay at her side.

Pulling her helmet back on, she heard General Kimball’s voice. A speech, broadcasting to all local channels and no doubt more. A speech about the Civil War here on Chorus and about war as a whole, what it does to you. A speech about fighting back and surviving. Rousing and emotional and coming from a place so genuine that she could feel it in the woman’s voice.

And as the cheers filled the canyon, as bullets sprayed into the air, Girlie found some of her words had struck a cord in her. The speech wasn’t for her, wasn’t for the ex-Insurrectionist who’d long since betrayed all of her principles or for the woman who’d made their imminent demise possible, but, despite that…

When you spend every day fighting a war, you learn to demonize your attackers. To you they're evil, they're sub-human. Because if they weren't, then what would that make you?

With a quiet laugh, Girlie let her head fall back. Yeah, what would that make you?

Carolina reappeared not long after Kimball’s speech had ended. Girlie saw her coming, heading from the direction Kimball’s speech had come from. No helmet, her face laid bare for all the world to see.

She looked… as tired as Girlie felt, she realised with another laugh. Bags under her eyes and scars on her face, signs of stress in the corners of her features and cropped scarlet hair tousled by her helmet. Girlie couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked in the mirror but she figured if she had the chance, she wouldn’t look much better.

The years hadn’t been kind to either of them.

“Girlie,” she said, standing at the foot of the ramp. “Can we talk?”

“…yeah, sure. Whatever.” Figuring it was only fair, she unsealed her own helmet and set it down beside her. “Not like I’m going anywhere. Literally, I can’t fucking get up.”

“We can have Grey examine you.” Carolina walked up the ramp and sat a few feet away, not too close. Girlie couldn’t tell if that was for her comfort or her own. “See if there’s anything she can do, about your legs.”

“Doubt you have facilities for surgery here,” Girlie said, nodding at the canyon. “That’s all that’ll fix it. Can tell you that right now.”

“I don’t know. Grey’s…” she trailed off, trying to place a word, but eventually shook her head, “…Grey. She ran maintenance on my arm in the middle of nowhere and it held up just fine.” When Girlie’s head snapped to her in confusion, Carolina peeled off her glove and waved a set of robotic fingers at her. “Prosthesis.”

“Oh, right. Guess I’m not the only cyborg around here.”

Carolina slipped her glove back on. “Not by a longshot.”

Awkward silence overcame them and they sat there, neither looking at the other, for at least a minute. Carolina idly scratched at a line in the metal floor. Girlie stared at her feet.

“…I meant what I said, in Armonia,” Carolina said, finally. “I’m sorry. We were told you were the enemy. We— I was doing what I believed had to be done. It doesn’t change what happened and it doesn’t excuse it, but it’s the truth.”

“Yeah, well— you’re fucking right, it doesn’t excuse shit,” Girlie said, still not lifting her gaze. “But— ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know. You don’t get— look, I’ve spent fucking years blaming you, Carolina. Years. Wanting to kill you Freelancers was the only motivation I had! That’s not— fucking— ugh.”

Dropping her head into her hands, she cursed under her breath. This was uncomfortable. Sitting next to the woman she’d hated for years—hell, that she might still hate, she didn’t fucking know—was fucking uncomfortable, talking to her was even worse. She’d never talked about this with anyone, how was she supposed to talk about it with her?

“You may not believe it, but I… get it,” Carolina said. Girlie dared a glance out of the corner of her eye—she looked uncomfortable, too, still scratching at that indent in the floor. “I spent years hunting down the person to blame for what happened at Freelancer. Finding him consumed my life. I was in a bad place and I made decisions I’m not proud of.”

Girlie averted her gaze again. Guess that did sound rather her past few years.

“Then I found him and— I couldn’t do it.” The scratching stopped. “The moment I had spent so long building up to and I couldn’t do it. I had to make the decision to move forward and to try and do better. Still, I’ve made choices I wouldn’t make again. Things have happened to make it more difficult. It’s… a process.”

When Girlie finally looked at her, she was biting her lip. Must have been doing so for a while; it had split. “Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because I think you need to hear it,” Carolina said, meeting her eye for the briefest of moments. “There’s a way forward, Girlie. Take it from me, because I’ve been there. I am there.”

…Carolina was a different woman than she’d expected her to be.

She didn’t know what to say, not at first, but she knew she should say something. Silence hung over them for what felt like the millionth time, dense and unsettled, until Carolina sighed and stood up. Tucked her helmet under her arm and went to leave. Took three steps down the ramp and—

“I saw them, when you knocked me into that portal. My team,” Girlie said, before she could change her mind. Carolina stopped still. “I saw them die. All over again. Except— except the thing was, that wasn’t the thing that scared me. What fucking scared me was I couldn’t find anyone to blame. It was just me, and my dead friends. No one to aim my anger at. That was the worst part.”

“Because there had to be a clear cause for all of this. If there wasn’t, what did that mean for you?”

Girlie didn’t answer, but she figured that itself was answer enough. Guess Carolina did understand.

“…pushing you into the portal was the quickest way to finish the fight. I wasn’t sure if it would still… run the test,” Carolina said. Turning back to her, she sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Girlie shook her head. “Nah, look, if I hadn’t gone into that thing? No way in hell I’d be here right now. You mentioning Charon planted the seed of doubt but it fucking bloomed in that place. I probably would’ve kept fighting you until you had to kill me without that.” With a sigh of her own, she rubbed her face. “Fell for the same bullshit twice. Charon’s good, I’ll give them that. I don’t— this is— a lot, you know? Like my whole world’s been torn out from under me. I don’t know how to feel about any of this. I don’t even know what I’m gonna do now.”

“Well, helping us would be a good start.” Pausing, she chewed her lip for a moment and then smiled faintly. “After that, I happen to know a group that have a habit of taking in people with nowhere else to go.”

“Huh.” Didn’t know how she felt about that just now, but… “Uh, one thing at a time. I did kinda give the assholes the to genocide, literally, so yeah, sure, helping. Uh— one problem, though.”

Carolina titled her head.

“I can’t fucking walk.”

“Oh, right. That’s a problem.”

“No shit,” Girlie said with a snort of laughter. “Like I said, genius or not there’s no way I’m having surgery done in a canyon in bumfuck nowhere. And you really dealt the final blow with that kick of yours.”

Carolina was quiet for a moment, though she still moved as if she were mid-conversation. Must have been talking to Epsilon internally again. Girlie flicked her eyes around the canyon, passing the time.

“Think you could do your thing from the seat of a Warthog?” she said, maybe a minute later. “With the right weapon?”

“Yeah, sure, guess so,” Girlie said with a shrug. Then, raising a brow, “What exactly are you guys planning, anyway?”

Carolina’s lips twitched into a slight smirk. “Well…”

The plan, as it turned out, was ever so slightly crazy—but apparently that’s just how these guys worked, so who was she to question it? Wasn’t like she had any better ideas and after what she’d done, the least she could do was go along with their batshit plan and help to make sure it worked.

The Freelancers were already at the Purge Temple by the time they arrived at the Comm. Temple for their final assault. Girlie provided them as much extra intel as she can before they left, even if she still felt awkward as hell talking to their of them. They’d been shocked by the information that the Counselor was up on the Tartarus—so yeah, her hunch was right—but there was no time to dwell on it let alone confront him. They had to be satisfied with the fact their plan would kill him, quite spectacularly in fact. Ship crashes were a hell of a way to go.

(God, what the fuck was this plan.)

Girlie was driven to the temple by some of Carolina’s colourful companions—the red coloured ones, or well, warm coloured ones (seriously, one of them was orange? How did these colour schemes work?). The Orange one was actually a hell of a driver, she later found out, but the drive there was spent listening to the two Reds in the Warthog with her bickering. Kinda amusing, really, it was hard not to crack a bit of a smile and she had to cough to hide a laugh at one particular quip. It was a dynamic she hadn’t experienced in a long time.

“Hey, lady—” the orange one—Grif, she thought they called him— said as the fight finally kicked off, “—do me a favour and like, be careful firing that thing. We only got the one jeep.”

“Girlie,” Girlie corrected, casually.

She could practically hear the confused squint. “What?”

“My name’s Girlie, not lady.”

“Same difference, isn’t it?”

“…touché, I’ll almost give you that, but no.” Shaking her head, she securely balanced the alien gun on the edge of the Warthog. “And don’t worry about it, I’m not gonna shoot the damn jeep.” Pause. “How many times has—?”

“You don’t even wanna know.”

“—alright then. You’re— an interesting bunch.”

“Yeah, we get that a lot,” Grif said, shrugging. That didn’t surprise her at all.

With the Pirates so severely undermanned after they turned Armonia into a nuke the fight was easy. Grif drove, his boyfriend and Girlie shot the Pirates’ vehicles and anyone who got too close, respectively, and the Chorusans with their alien weapons made mincemeat of the remaining attackers—or well, dust. Mostly dust.

Honestly? It was almost fun. Grif was a damn good driver and the alien gun felt powerful in her hands. She hadn’t seen action like this in years and hey, the fact she was wrecking a bunch of Charon’s men in the name of a planet that was one short step from Insurrectionist? That certainly sweetened the deal.

They were inside the tower within an hour, at the most. Not long after that, the Freelancers reappeared. Armour looking a little scuffed in places, but okay. Clearly, the plan had worked. All that was left to do was for them to go broadcast their message and expose Charon; they’d have to keep fighting the stragglers in the meantime, but that was easy enough.

Until the Mantis appeared. That complicated things, just a bit.

Girlie found herself sitting in a Warthog being used as a blockade at the temple entrance, helping Kimball and some of the other Chorusan soldiers hold the position whilst the colourful assholes did their thing and Carolina did hers.

…she watched Carolina tear that Mantis apart with her bare hands and hey, look, she’d be lying if she said that wasn’t attractive as hell. Carolina was a complicated mess of emotions in her head—the woman she hated for years but also the first person to ever just talk to her about what had happened—but she didn’t need to untangle it to know how hot that was.

But then more Mantises dropped, more people died, and a call came in that her team was cornered by a bunch of Charon goons with no guarantee that they could get to them in time.

So she watched Carolina tear onto the nearest Pelican, Washington not far behind. Watched her as they returned, looking frantic as she helped take the injured to where they needed to be. Watched her scramble to make sure that her team was all okay, whilst clearly knotted tight with distress herself. Watched her take care of her team, saw that other dimension of her that she’d never imagined could exist mere days ago.

Everything had changed and she still had no idea where she stood.

But dammit, she was going to figure it out this time.

She had to.

Over the following days Carolina was all but completely absent from anywhere that wasn’t either the makeshift training hall or the equally makeshift hospital. People were slowly starting to move back towards some of Chorus’ other old population centres but the process was slow and it wasn’t worth moving the patients before a real hospital was set up. Various members of Carolina’s team were still under observation, most notably the other aqua one—Tucker?—who’d been running the suit that saved them.

(Girlie wondered how seeing that suit, that familiar domed helmet and white armour, had felt for Carolina. If it had given her pause, she couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for Carolina.)

If she was honest, Girlie had been keeping her distance anyway. Her feelings about Carolina were still a tangled mess; some days she felt that residual rage, whilst others she wanted to talk to her and hear what she had to say. Things were too messy right now for both of them to expend anymore energy discussing their past; the present was much more important.

So Girlie spent most of her time doing odd jobs around the canyon, like helping out with moving things onto transport Warthogs. They’d managed to dig a wheelchair for her from somewhere, giving her the freedom of movement she needed. Days flew by with little issue, with the most dramatic thing that happened being the time a Warthog started driving before they were done and everything fell out. Girlie may not have known anyone there on Chorus, and people were hesitant to talk to one of the ex-Pirates, but helping out had started to build a few bridges.

Things were okay. Her life had more purpose in those few days than it had felt like it had had in years. Felt almost like getting back to her roots, helping out this backwater colony where there were already whispers of not wanting to re-join the UEG. How many years had it been now since they packed up the cell and joined the UNSC? How long had she been doing their dirty work for them, because they weren’t given a choice in the matter? How long had it been since she really worked to help the people the UNSC was fucking over?

Too long, she decided, as she helped some kid that couldn’t be older than sixteen move another crate. Too fucking long.

It had been almost a week when she saw Carolina sitting alone in the rudimentary mess hall, alone. The few times she’d seen her in the week prior she’d been almost constantly flanked by Washington, almost fused at the hip, but he was nowhere to be seen. Carolina looked half-dead and was mindlessly scrolling on her data-pad, cheek leant heavily into the palm of her other hand.

Girlie hesitated in the doorway, watching her for longer than she perhaps should have. She was worrying that bottom lip of hers again, though not hard enough to split it. Bright green eyes flicked up and down her screen without really looking. The bags under her eyes had only gotten darker.

Fuck it.

Wheeling over to the old coffee machine she made two cups, one made just how she liked it—a normal amount of milk and a shit ton of sugar—the other black, then stuffed a bunch of sugar packets and creamers into an empty cup. Making a girl shitty coffee she couldn’t drink wouldn’t be a good first impression, better to let her modify it herself.

Then, with a deep breath, she approached the table.

“Hey, uh— you look like you might need this,” she said, holding up the black coffee. Carolina raised her head, looking momentarily surprised, but then exhaled with a faint laugh.

“I don’t know if I should be insulted or grateful,” she said, as she took the cup. Girlie manoeuvred so she could pull herself up close to the table and set down the cup of extras. Carolina considered them for a moment, before shaking her head and taking a gulp of the unmodified coffee.

“You’ve had a tough— well I was gonna say week, but few years might be more accurate. Point is, you’re allowed to look as shitty as you feel,” Girlie said with a shrug, sipping her own. After a moment’s hesitation, she added, “…they’ll be okay. It’s not my place to say a thing, course, but— they’ll be okay. They seem like stubborn enough assholes.”

Carolina didn’t respond at first, but she did offer her a tired smile before taking another long swig. Her eyes slid shut as she let the warmth fill her and she breathed out a sigh. “I never told you what I saw in the portal, did I?”

A little taken aback, Girlie set down her cup.

“Nah, I don’t… think we were on those kind of terms then. I mean, I told you because I was making a point, y’know?” She shrugged. “Didn’t think we were on those terms now. Y’know, seeing as I spent days trying to kill you.”

“I saw almost the same thing you saw. I had to watch my families, die.”

“…oh, shit.”

“That and— what happened to Epsilon,” she bit her lip a little harder, threatened to burst it, “has me a little more concerned than maybe I should be about a few broken bones and a couple bullet wounds.”

“That Santa guy—” she couldn’t believe she was actually calling that thing Santa, “—sure likes that trope, huh? What an asshole.” Carolina cracked a smile. Girlie called that a win. “Look I don’t know the whole story here but if those guys have survived everything I’ve heard about lately, they’ll come out of this no worse for wear.” Then, added quickly, “Physically.”

They’d lost one of their own. Girlie knew first-hand how badly that could hit a team.

“Physically,” Carolina said sombrely. They both sat nursing their coffee for a few minutes of silence that wasn’t quite comfortable but wasn’t quite awkward, before she spoke again. “You know, you’re not so bad, when you’re not trying to kill me.”

Girlie glanced up at her and found her smiling again, still tired but seemingly genuine.

“…yeah. Yeah you’re not so bad either. When you’re not trying to kill me.”

Carolina chuckled and Girlie cracked a smile of her own, shaking her head as she reached for another packet of sugar. That started an entire discussion about their respective abominations of the coffee kind, Carolina finding her heavily sweetened milky mixture unbearable whilst Girlie could never stomach coffee as raw as Carolina’s. It was kinda silly, really, but it kept their minds from wandering towards anything more depressing.

That conversation was the start of a very tentative, but growing, friendship. Things were still complicated; Girlie had years of anger to unpack but she was more than willing to work at it, to get away from the ghosts that had haunted her for years. Carolina wasn’t the woman she’d built her up to be, she could never have been that; that woman was one-dimensional, cruel and without remorse, none of which could ever describe the woman she’d come to know.

She was complex and complicated, filled with so much remorse that it seemed to eat away at her constantly, but more than that she was absolutely and unshakably devoted to the people she cared about. She always seemed like she had something to prove, like she couldn’t stop. Her laughter was rare but bright and shameless when it came. Her jokes were dry and almost always perfectly timed—almost. On a good day there was an energy that radiated from her that felt absolutely unique to her.

Girlie saw more and more of those things as time went by, as her team left hospital and Chorus was gifted aid, as everything started to move forward. They didn’t talk much during the days, where Carolina would be working with Washington and Kimball whilst Girlie worked odd jobs around the foundations of New Armonia—a repurposed population centre, being slowly expanded. But after a long day, Girlie found it refreshing to slump against a wall somewhere with Carolina and just… talk.

About the Reds, who she’d slowly started to fall into place with. About the Reds and Blues in general, their ridiculous antics. About their individual work around New Armonia. And, when their heads were clearer and most of the tension had faded, the past.

“It’s… difficult, talking to Wash about what happened,” Carolina said, one day, after a couple of drinks had left them both pliable for heavy talk. After she’d told Girlie about her side of the final years of the Project. “I’m trying—we’re trying—but… I suppose a level of detachment helps. No, detachment probably isn’t the right word…”

Girlie chuckled, elbowed her. “Yeah I wouldn’t call talking to one of the people you nearly killed ‘detachment’. But I get what you’re saying.”

“Funny how some years can be some of the best but also the worst of your life.” Carolina sighed, dropped her head back against the wall. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips and she spoke with amusement in her voice, “Have I told you about the time Maine put York’s helmet on top of one of the ceiling beams?”

“Nope.”

“Maine was the tallest, by a huge margin. No one else could reach those beams without climbing something. York tried all sorts of things to get up there but eventually he had to promise Maine his desserts for a week to get them to retrieve it.”

“Wow. What did he do to earn that contempt?”

“You know, I can’t remember. Probably some ill-advised joke.”

“Sounds like the kind of thing the Chain twins would’ve done for fun,” Girlie said, her head dropping against Carolina’s shoulder without thinking. “Always up to shit, those two. You know they used to call you guys by the wrong designations and even colours on purpose all the time? Made it real hard to keep track of who they were actually talking about.”

Carolina laughed, the kind of full on laughter Girlie had only ever been able to pry out of her when a good day and some alcohol had helped her relax, the kind that had started hitting Girlie right in the chest.

She didn’t know when the vague attraction she had towards Carolina as a fighter—as started by her ripping apart a Mantis—had become more than that and she almost didn’t want to know. The shift from hatred, to confliction, to friendship to— to— whatever this was, was confusing and had happened over the space of such a short time that she swore it had given her whiplash.

At first she’d put it down to her lack of human contact over the past few years but when her spending time with the Reds had gotten more frequent and those feelings towards Carolina had continued to grow, didn’t know what to think.

And now her head was on Carolina’s shoulder and she was laughing at a dumb story she’d told and look, there was only so much a girl could handle.

Carolina had given her a second chance—given her a new damn life by being willing to offer her that.

Despite their history, they were different people than they were all those years ago. So much had happened and Girlie was surprised by how much of their experiences were mirrored, how easy that made it to talk about even with one of the people who had caused her own pain.

So maybe being into her wasn’t much weirder, or maybe it was that much weirder, who the fuck knows. Either way the attachment was there and Girlie didn’t think she wanted to shake it. Though she didn’t know if she wanted to act on it, either.

For now she was happy enough to just sit there, head on Carolina’s shoulder and enjoying her company. If Carolina’s head dropped against hers, then that was only a bonus.

Time flew by and New Armonia started to take shape. Elections were organised. People were slowly settling into non-military jobs despite remaining technically enlisted until things had settled.

Girlie found her place helping to create strongholds and maximise their supplies, making sure they’d never be left struggling again, even should the negotiations with the UEG go badly. She was no politician, she never had been; the best way she could help these people was to share the skills she’d learned during her days in the Insurrection.

It was nice to feel like she might be making a difference.

By the end of the second month after the final fight, she’d officially been declared a member of Red Team. That was fun, they were fun. Sarge acted kind of like the grumpy old dad she’d never really had; Donut was an all around entertainer, whether he meant to be or not; Simmons was a gigantic nerd, but they’d found a little solidarity in their respective ‘cyborg’ statuses; and Grif was a great guy to relax with, they’d gotten on well since that first day in the jeep. Having a team again took some getting used to and she had to remind herself often that she wasn’t replacing her family, but it was refreshing. Feeling as if she had a home.

As she settled, she watched Carolina do the same. Blue Team had absorbed her into their number and Carolina fit in fine, once she started to relax. Everything after the Staff of Charon had been a seemingly never-ending process of handling the aftermath, of handling their loss, but time and distance let them start to heal.

They still spent many of their evenings together, wandering around the city or sitting somewhere away from the bustle of the occupied sectors. After Girlie’s surgery Carolina even helped her with her physio and then sparring, getting her back to full strength. Girlie did her best to return the favour by listening and helping her figure out how to talk to Washington.

Talking and sparring had helped her work out her issues, more than anything. Where her old resentments lingered, she knew to ignore them. They were in-built, a coping mechanism from a time long passed, but that didn’t mean she had to listen to them. Nah, she could tell them to fuck off.

Carolina was amused by her methods. Apparently she’d never thought of telling the intrusive voice in her head to fuck off quite so literally. Girlie told her she should try it some time.

If she were honest, Girlie had expected if her feelings towards Carolina to fade over time. Expected that the crush was just that, a crush brought on by unexpected kindness from an attractive woman after years of being alone. Instead, the more she got to know Carolina the more she liked her.

Still, she didn’t dare make a move.

Nah. Apparently, that was down to Carolina.

They were changing after a long sparring session, unbothered by undressing around each other as they took off their sweaty work-out clothes. They’d been bantering back and forth all afternoon and it hadn’t stopped once they left the training hall.

“You know,” Girlie said, putting her tank away and grabbing a new shirt, “I still have a massive scar from where you stabbed me with that— knife-rifle thing.”

Carolina raised a brow, glancing back at her. Girlie turned her torso so she could see the large scar that ran up the centre of her chest. It was just a joking comment, just teasing, but Carolina gained this glint in her eye and retorted with a very serious sounding, “What do you want me to do about it? Kiss it better?”

Which was the moment Girlie knew she was absolutely and truly fucked.

“I can do that, if you’d like,” she continued, setting down what she was holding and walking in her direction.

“Uh—” Girlie’s brain stalled, words caught in the back of her throat. Was this happening? No way this was happening. “…do you want to?”

Carolina’s answer was to approach her and crouch down just enough so that she could easily press light kisses up the length of the scar. A shiver ran down Girlie’s spine as she tried to process what was happening, something she still hadn’t achieved by the time Carolina stood up and kissed her on the lips.

Okay. Yeah. That was happening.

Stunned as she was it took her an age to return it, but she did. Her hands settled on Carolina’s arms, firm muscle and cold metal. Her eyes slid shut and she took in the feeling of her lips against hers, the slight bump of the scar tissue in the middle of her lower lip.

When Carolina pulled away, Girlie’s eyes remained closed for a good ten seconds longer. Processing.

“Holy shit, okay. Yeah, alright, that’s—”

“Satisfactory?” Carolina said, an amused note to her voice. When Girlie finally opened her eyes she found her smirking.

“…yeah. Satisfactory’s a word,” Girlie said, idly flicking her tongue over her lips. “I’m gonna kiss you again now.”

And she did, catching a laughing Carolina’s lips with hers, pulling her close.

If anyone had told her, years ago, that this was where her future was headed, she wouldn’t have believed them.

But hey, things never did turn out as she expected, did they?

#rvb girlie #agent carolina #girlina #rvb #red vs blue #rvb fic #my fanfiction #fic: different people

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doomandgloomfromthetomb · 6 years

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Meg Baird Interview — 2007

Sunday interview! This one was conducted way back when via email. Dear Companion is still great! In fact, most everything Meg Baird does is great -- have you checked out the Heron Oblivion live LP?! Wow. I also hear rumors of an upcoming collab LP with harpist extraordinaire Mary Lattimore.

With her lovely-from-start-to-finish solo debut Dear Companion (Drag City), Meg Baird takes a break from her duties in the Philadelphia psych-folk collective Espers. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, though. The ten songs here are deeply rooted in traditional song forms (from age-old British Isles ballads to Appalachian laments), as well as the 60s and 70s singer-songwriter era (from Jimmy Webb to New Riders of the Purple Sage). With a few of Baird's own originals mixed in, Dear Companion stands as one of the best all-acoustic records since Gillian Welch's Time (The Revelator). Mostly comprised of Baird's high, pure vocals and intricately picked guitar, the album conjures up the timeless and universal nature of the best folk music. We chatted with Meg about her inspirations, obscure Canadian folksingers and Bob Dylan's amphetamine-fueled ramblings.

Whether it's performed by the Everly Brothers, Bob Dylan, Norma Waterson, Michael Hurley or by you on Dear Companion, "The Cruelty of Barbary Allen" is one of those songs that always stops me in my tracks. What do you think it is about this 500+-year-old song that gives it such a powerful resonance even today? How did you come to record it for the album?

My version came from an amalgamation of Michael Hurley's version from Sweetkorn and another from a Jean Ritchie recording with a totally different melody — these are my two favorites. I learned this one just for Michael actually. About three years ago, he agreed to try and record a few songs for a few days with Espers during a stop on his spring east coast tour — just to see what happened. This was one of his top recommendations to try so of course I learned it just in case.

Perhaps the resonance of this song is a little bit cumulative? For a contemporary listener, if you've made a decision to actually forgo your healthy cynicism for all the maudlin associations genuinely attached to this sort of material, then you are listening with a pretty well primed imagination. The main storyline here is so straight — two young ones eventually killing themselves over a misunderstanding in a lover's quarrel. But the way each scene unfolds gives us all the vantage point to protest "No, don't do it, it should all work out!" just like we would in any horror film or melodrama. It's a very unifying populist pastime to hope that it will all work out, when we know that it won't. This experience can so easily become twisted into pure manipulation, but here it can feel wonderful — like a chance to just experience a feeling in a spectrum of feelings. The colors in this world seem so vibrant, the perception of history so vibrant. You've made these scenes all yourself, and they seem safe from being diminished by the elements.

Listening to Dear Companion (not to mention your work with Espers) I'm reminded of this old quote from Dylan: "What folk music is... is based on myths and the Bible and plague and famine and all kinds of things like that which are nothing but mystery and you can see it in all the songs … All these songs about roses growing out of people's brains and lovers who are really geese and swans that turn into angels … and seven years of this and eight years of that and it's all really something that nobody can touch ... (the songs) are not going to die." What do you think – is this an accurate summing up of the so-called folk tradition, or was Bob just blazing on amphetamines when he said that?

Probably your last theory about amphetamines is true, but aside from that, this is a pretty adept description of mystery in folk song. Although it is a really amped up, exceptionally urgent description, it also seems in keeping with a tone used very commonly at that time. His urgency especially makes sense with the last line, about how "(the songs) are not going to die." Maybe I agree with this very believably passionate depiction of being moved by this music, but perhaps I don't get to share in his blazing confidence in its immortality.

What/who was the album/song/artist that really turned you on to folk music? What made you think: "I want to do something like this."

I'm sure it is a really long, ongoing series of events, but one flash moment like the one you describe, particularly in relation to straight traditional music, happened when I was 19 (reasonably well-versed in the college radio canon of the time) and my sister Laura took me to a Sheila Kay Adams performance. I certainly did not ever think that I could do anything quite like that, but it literally opened up a world of possibilities of what music and performance can do, in addition to helping me see ways around some of the obstacles that can come up around identity hang-ups concerning audience, format and other limitations sometimes imposed by self-flattery. I got a chance to meet her a few years ago and tried to thank her and tell her about this experience I'd had, but all I did was burst into tears like a crazy person. Hopefully she understood something good in my maligned attempt to communicate my extreme appreciation.

The spare, uncluttered sound of Dear Companion really makes it stand out from much of the music being released today. Was making such an austere record your intention going into the recording process? Do you imagine that your subsequent recordings will continue in this vein, or do you have string sections and trumpets and backup singers in your future?

Sparsity and warmth were definitely guiding intensions. I used overdubs to add some imagination to the record and save it from being too literal. By the final mix, I thought it would be fun to think of vocal and guitar overdubs as my only allowed effects or "tricks" For this reason, I got a great kick out of selecting only one brief moment of Space Echo-drenched electric. With the rest of the record being so spare, it was a really enjoyable method to try and emphasize this effect to its maximum.

I don't know yet how I'll record the songs I'm writing for the next record. I'm sure that I will want to try something new, but seeing now just how clearly I totally over-thought the sparsity issue, I guess that new approach could really take any shape.

I'm familiar with a few of the artists whose songs you cover here – Jimmy Webb, New Riders of the Purple Sage – but Fraser & Debolt are completely new to me. What can you tell me about them and this fantastic song you've included, "The Waltze of the Tennis Players"?

I know very little about Daisy Debolt, Allan Fraser or Ian Guenther much other than that they are Canadian and they made this completely amazing record together that a good deal of people seem to truly love. (I think that the "hit" was their knockout version of "Don't Let Me Down") "Waltze" in particular must be one of the most imaginative songs on the subject of courtship that I have ever heard. The whole record is incredibly tender, raw and earthy; seemingly fueled by the same kind of human will and warmth that keeps a person alive through the winter. Despite how outwardly folky this record is, it has always reminds me a great deal of Dead Moon. A really nice, in-depth fan Web site is maintained for Fraser & Debolt.

Tell me a bit about the recording process for Dear Companion. What did your Espers band mate Greg Weeks bring to the proceedings? Were there songs that you attempted but that didn't make the final cut?

I recorded this album on a few long, spare afternoons during the recording of [Espers'] II. My plan was to prepare madly for the taping sessions and get everything on tape in very early takes. I had been playing some of these songs for years, some only for a month, but all of them required a great deal of rehearsal for these sessions.

Greg brought his incredibly adept engineering ears, great gear sensibility and some really gutsy approaches to the recording levels that wound up having a pretty interesting effect over the whole record itself. It was also great to have someone so talented to bounce tracking ideas off of and to double check on my performance quality. We work together all the time, so of course Greg was able to really help me keep to this goal of recording these songs very quickly and comfortably with little fuss or ramp up time.

I dropped the bridge from "Waltze" because the original creates a level of blasting off that I truly couldn't pull off to any good effect. Among other missed selections, my version of Peter Hammill's "(On Tuesdays She Used to Do) Yoga" will just have to remain mine for private enjoyment.

Now that the album is soon to be out in stores, what are your plans? Are you going to play any solo shows? What's next for Meg Baird!?

I have lots of plans, unfortunately none of them so well formulated to tell you anything specific. I have a very busy imagination, perhaps too busy, and Espers is quite busy at the moment as well. Despite all of this, I definitely am trying to arrange some public performances timed near the release in late May.

#meg baird #espers #heron oblivion #sunday interview

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spirit-shroud · 6 years

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what’s some of your favorite plight headcanons? do you have any about the author? :o

first of all, anon, marry me right now immediately, im love u ive been dying to talk about these

okay so if you ask me what basis literally any of these have in canon i’ll have no answers but heres some of my personal faves i’ve come up w!! these are HCs im more or less using in a fanfic ill,,, one day actually write... instead of just... awkwardly mentioning it all the time haha end me writing is hard

im gonna limit my lampy hcs to five because i really do have so many more than that i just love him so much kjdfhgdjkhfg

1. lamp boy? trans guy. at the time niko’s there and all The Nonsense happens(tm) he hasnt chosen a name or anything so hes just kinda The Lamplighter (occasionally he’ll panic and just say plight if someone, like, asks him for a name. nobody’s really connected the dots that its just lamplighter or if they have, they don’t want to mention it) maybe it’ll just stick or he’ll actually come up with something ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ for now, that’s just his title2. he has, exactly one(1!) time made the slip-up of calling Kip mom, either because she was worrying about him or whatever, and she hasn’t let him forget it. she sends him plants and books and helps him out whenever he’s asked to repair something he hasn’t encountered before. if you ask him about it, he’d say it’s dumb (but wow she’s a lifesaver!!)

3. even on his day off he needs to be doing something, whether its just wandering around or trying to figure out how the heck to solve a rubik’s cube or whatever else. he finds idle time really stifling even when he could be sleeping. he probably would love things like stim toys just so he has something to do with his hands like tbh (imagine how powerful he’d be if he had like. video games. multitask level: ultimate)

4. since he’s super sleepless, most likely malnourished as hell, and definitely vibrating from caffeine at any given moment he doesn’t have the best memory at all. like. sure he’ll remember the radio station of something he used to listen to like 9 whole years ago that doesn’t exist anymore but if you ask him to remember like.. where he’s supposed to be in an hour? no. ask him to remember someone’s name??? no. he’s just. not going to. ever. it’s a fact of life. however, to try and curb that, he’s gotten SUPER GOOD at keeping lists of everything to accomplish in a day, where, what time, etc and sticking to it. the day he loses his pocket notebook is the day the world ends.

5. this is more of a,,, self-insert, unrelated romance headcanon but. listen. hes the most disaster bisexual to ever walk this earth. humans beware. he has really really low standards so like if you ever show him any care/concern chances are he'd die for you and also screw up any everyday conversation. HOWEVER, he's also quite dumb. like. someone could legitimately walk up and confess their undying love to him outright and he'd be just talking to kip one night like 'okay so this guy i like said he was like, madly in love with me right? do you think he wants to like... go out on a date or was he just being nice? is that how friends are these days? i mean like we held hands once and we got coffee and now this, wow.’

‘that was a date, dear. what you just described was a date.’

‘...ah.’

(its a problem. someone please help him)

(just to reiterate i love lampy a whole heckload. also Big Question: where the heCK does all his money go if he works like 140 hrs/week.)

okay now onto World Dad, whom I love but would also fight in a back alley because what the heck, guy. i really dont have too much on him tbh like it’s more Vague Theories than actual headcanons so im just going to dive into the juicy stuff first

1. i like to think that the major characters are, for the most part, extreme in one trait (kip = mom friend. george = all 6 personalities are different parts of one person. ling = nicest ever. lampy = workaholic, etc) because that’s just how the author remembers them. as well, the world kept getting smaller population wise as the other people were forgotten / their code just kept getting smaller. (but like that’s also really sad oh no)

2. i also like to think his fantasy stories are literally just like... fanfiction of his travels and the friends he’s met, maybe with different names/places. either as a way to remember who he met there or to just share the memory with a lot of people

3. he’s from earth! or alternatively, a very near-earth place, maybe one that’s more advanced (but still runs win95 for some reason)

4, it’s mentioned that he doesn’t like working on AI and i think why that is is because he has a tendency to accidentally give anything he touches like.. full sentience. im sure everyone would love a sentient roomba but. oh dear. that’s too scary. (also a big contributing factor to that is probably like.. idk.. the whole nonsense with the entity) not a headcanon but real talk wheRE DID HE GO how did hE DO THE SALTSTICE UPDATE IF HES FLOATING INDEFINITELY IN THE VOID

next episode of game theory: is the author secretly gaster?

anyways so maybe you can see who my favourite character is but uhhh yeah i just. i really like this game and the people in it s’all >/////////

thanks for coming to my ted talk

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mariaclaragomez276 · 4 years

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A Night at The Fish: The Perfect UK Staycation

Just before the outbreak of Covid-19 in the UK, SLH’s Digital Image & Content Executive, Chloe Frost-Smith, visits the Cotswolds and discovers why you don’t always have to travel as far afield as you might think for the ultimate luxury escape…

Meet The Farncombe Family

The great outdoors with interiors to match, a trip to the Farncombe Estate in the Cotswolds is like going to stay at the country houses of your three impossibly stylish aunts who will spoil you rotten and indulge all your childhood dreams. Think treehouse suites with wooden bridge access, a complimentary pantry filled with sweet treats, and room names which are guaranteed to make you giggle (Boaty McBoatFace is my personal favourite).

Three hotels with their own distinct personalities, yet all unmistakably part of the Farncombe family, The Fish, Dormy House, and Foxhill Manor all possess that cool big sister vibe in both character and style – they will pretty much let you do whatever you want whenever you want. The epitome of country house cool with a home-from-home feel.

The Suite Life

Arriving at the Coach House of The Fish (to continue my aunt analogy, imagine this is the youngest, trendiest of the three who likes to break a few rules) the Estate owners’ duck egg blue Morris Minor parked outside makes you feel like someone’s at home to welcome you. And the warmest of welcomes was exactly what awaited us, as we were guided by lots of smiles and an illustrated map to our Small Suite in an outhouse decorated with fairy lights overlooking The Stables and a postcard worthy view.

‘Small’ actually turned out to be an incredibly spacious suite with its own living room, two window seats which somehow manage to catch the morning light and afternoon golden hour, and a wonderfully sized en-suite bedroom complete with an old-school radio.

Beautifully furnished with an eclectic yet put-together taste, we instantly felt at home (and needed little encouragement to tuck into the complimentary mini-bar stocked with the likes of organic oat cookies and hot chocolate). For more of a back to nature stay, I would recommend one of the Hideaway Huts – this is glamping gone wild with all the luxury touches of a cosy Cotswold cabin, and more.

Hooked on a Feeling

Cosy is the word du jour throughout the estate, and particularly so in The Lodge, the hub of The Fish which houses a cabin, boot room, bar, and The Hook – vision of the estate’s culinary director Martin Burge. Serving up a deliciously fresh seafood-centric menu, dining at The Hook transports you straight to the English seaside.

Our dinner began with a generous pile of crusty bread with the restaurant’s signature seaweed butter (be warned – this is dangerously addictive, make sure you save room for the rest of your meal!), sweetcorn soup dusted with paprika and a side of deep fried whitebait, and a beautifully presented chicken and liver parfait tart decorated with concentric circles of pickled grape spiced with dukkah.

Continuing the seafood-poultry combination, we opted for the melt-in-the-mouth battered whiting, seaweed fries, and curried tartare (this usually comes with soft shell crab, which was carefully removed by the chef and replaced with an extra whiting after taking note of my crab allergy), and a wonderfully succulent roast chicken breast accompanied by a seriously naughty truffle mac and cheese.

For my boyfriend’s birthday, the restaurant very kindly put together a special dessert plate of sea salt fudge – which was also thoughtfully prepared for our lunch the following day (even double helpings of this to-die-for fudge wasn’t quite enough!)

Serious Interior Inspiration

Just as we were polishing off a twice-baked Comté cheese soufflé and the stickiest of sticky toffee puddings from the set lunch menu, our delightful guide Harriet came to meet us for a tour of the 400-acre private estate. This sounds very grand indeed, but it was as relaxed and personable as the estate itself – exploring all the photogenic nooks and crannies, the family resemblance between the three boutique hotels became increasingly obvious, whilst reinforcing their own unique characters.

Four-poster bed fabulousness, free-standing bath tubs, and unparalleled views from every window are just some of the highlights from our tour – it’s clear that laidback luxury is the lingua franca here.

No two rooms were the same, even within the same hotel or room category, with tasteful touches at every turn by Design Director Nette Reynolds, in natural, complementary colour palettes. A sprinkling of Scandi-chic here and there, the overall effect is quintessentially English – think rosy apple pinks, summer garden greens, dusky blues and buttercup yellows – every shade from my Farrow & Ball fantasies. Whilst my boyfriend wasn’t quite as taken as me by the blushing pink floral wallpaper in Rose Cottage at Dormy House, the private hot tub and fact that it was dog-friendly seemed to win him over to the more traditionally feminine interiors.

Paws for Thought

Though we suspected that our German Shepherd might be on the larger end of the Farncombe-friendly scale (the official line on dogs is ‘one medium sized well behaved pooch aged one year or older’) there are plenty of hints throughout The Fish which keep four-legged friends in mind, including doggy hydration stations, a ‘dunk your dog’ bath tub (complete with canine shampoo and conditioner), a dedicated dog agility course, and doggy afternoon tea – luxury tit-bits from the likes of Woof & Brew and The Barking Bakery feature on the menu.

To Broadway & Back

Strategically placed opposite the pup bath tub is the Boot Room, kitted out by The Original Muck Boot Company (who have a whole collection dedicated to dog walking boots). With a grab-and-go ethos, we swapped our Chelsea boots for wellies and picked up one of the many hand-drawn maps detailing local rambles. On a mission to walk off the countless courses from our indulgent meals at The Hook, we selected one of the more advanced-looking routes – the sun was shining as we set off in what can only be described as hold-on-to-your-hat weather as gusts of wind reminded us that we were still quite far off the beginning of British Summer Time.

Taking us off piste through forests, hopping over stiles through patchwork pasturelands dotted with sheep (we were just in time for lambing season), and through lots and lots of mud, we eventually emerged through a kissing-gate at the edge of Broadway Village. Idyllic doesn’t quite do this village justice, with its rows of honey-coloured Cotswold stone cottages, blooming English gardens, antique shops and tea rooms, this is refined rusticity at its best.

After a pick-and-mix purchase of pear drops and strawberry bonbons from an old-fashioned sweet shop, we reluctantly made our way back to return our borrowed boots and check-out, just as the sun was setting over the rolling hills. We attempted to sweeten our farewell to the Farncombe family by planning our next trip on the train journey back to Paddington – the tipsy afternoon tea is already calling my name…

The post A Night at The Fish: The Perfect UK Staycation appeared first on Small Luxury Hotels.

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angidescent · 5 years

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Tonight I'm seeing Iron Maiden live for the 5th time. It's always an emotional time for me and I started thinking about a blog post I wrote about it in 2016. Figured I'd copy it here just in case anything ever happens to my Wordpress blog.

A Musical Memorial

April 21, 2016

“And in a moment the memories are all that remain, / And all the wounds are reopening again” – “Blood Brothers” by Iron Maiden

I firmly believe that a life without music is not worth living. It reaches into the deepest parts of our souls and allows us to process or feel every emotion imaginable. It makes us relive moments. Music has the ability to break all cultural, societal, economic, and language barriers to make us feel something powerful. And no person experiences or hears a piece of music the same way. It is also a well-known fact that in the metal community, there is a deep connection among the members. Some say there are no strangers in metal, just friends we haven’t met yet. While music has always had this magical hold over me, Iron Maiden in particular has the power to make me feel every emotion and relive almost every moment of my life. Especially the most painful ones. It has taken me a while to write this, but earlier this month, I attended my fourth Iron Maiden concert. To understand the significance of this, you need to understand why this band in particular is closely tied to my relationships with three important men in my life. After I get those details out, I promise to rip your heart out with a very emotional story.

I am very fortunate to be a second generation metalhead, hence my common use of the phrase “from the womb to the tomb” to describe my metalhead status. It can be argued that metal music always brought me comfort because Dad would sing metal songs to me as lullabies. Yes, Enter the Sandman and Screaming in the Night were excellent lullabies! And when I became a properly sentient larvae, I would pick CDs to fall asleep to. I essentially stole Iron Maiden’s Somewhere in Time and Twisted Sister’s Big Hits and Nasty Cuts from him. Some of my favourite childhood memories are sitting in the living room while Dad acted like a DJ. He would play all sorts of records, cassettes, or CDs and tell us trivia or memories associated with them. He’d also quiz us on what band or album it was, a game Sister never excelled at and hated! I am happy to report that she is much better at it now. Perhaps it was partly due to me always being a daddy’s girl, but metal has remained my primary genre of music throughout my life. He was so damn proud of me when I started my metal and punk radio show in university!

Growing up as a metalhead was frustrating at times. I’m not usually one to pull this card, but being a girl didn’t help. Other than liking the odd song or band, most of the other girls didn’t listen to metal. And the boys? Well I stopped even mentioning my music preferences because most of them would claim I was lying or quiz me to prove my authenticity. Hell, even Spike didn’t quite believe me when we first met, but I soon made him see the truth. What didn’t help my case was the fact that I was a shy kid and tried to blend in to avoid being bullied. I wore casual, bright clothes while at school and got straight-As; I didn’t fit the stereotype. I will never forget the look on my Literature 12 teacher’s face the day he played Iron Maiden’s “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” in class. He hated metal and lectured the whole time he was setting up the CD player about how much he hated metal and expected the students not to enjoy it, but he was going to play this anyway because it was an example of how old poetry can still be relevant in modern culture. He was obviously shocked and disappointed in me when he noticed I was quietly drumming on my desk and lip syncing while pretending to serenade my ballerina friend.

That moment in Literature 12 was also a significant one for Ragehorn and I. You see, although Ragehorn and I had known each other since elementary school, we weren’t close. In high school we ended up in two of the same social circles, but remained friendly acquaintances at best. During grade 12, after the majority of one of those circles had graduated, we finally became proper friends. Maybe it was just out of loneliness. For the first time since elementary school, we had classes together and were both on the Scholarship Team, so we got better acquainted. But when he looked over during that moment in Lit class and I noticed his foot tapping along, we had a sudden realization that we had more in common than we thought. After that, our bond continued to grow and developed into full-fledged best friend status when we started university. And Maiden continued to be the soundtrack of our friendship: driving around town, sitting in the campus hallways, or passionately arguing when we had different opinions about individual songs or albums. Through me, Spike and Ragehorn also became close friends and it wasn’t long before people started cracking jokes about me having two boyfriends or calling Ragehorn Spike and I’s boyfriend. We were quite happy with our platonic threesome whatever way you sliced it.

The first time Iron Maiden announced a concert near me in my lifetime, I told Dad we were going. He didn’t even have a choice; he was bringing his daughter to the slaughter! I was 19 at the time and also asked my boyfriends if they wanted to come. Of course they did, it was Iron fucking Maiden! By Eddie that was a magical night! It was Spike, Ragehorn, and I’s first big concert and we were excited! Ragehorn was a really shy, quiet guy during this stage of his life and didn’t know Dad well yet, so he almost pissed himself the first time Dad let out a scream. While the three of us were head banging and yelling, Ragehorn quietly rocked out with foot tapping, head bobbing, and the odd horned salute. And he definitely pissed himself when we were driving home and “scary” Dad told my uncle over the phone that he had to switch spots because Ragehorn wouldn’t stop grabbing his ass. It took a while for him to get used to Dad’s humour. Two years later, Iron Maiden returned and Dad, Spike, and I bought tickets! Ragehorn originally declined our invitation, but decided to come last minute and bought a spare ticket my uncle had right next to us. In those two years, he had become much more outgoing and knew Dad quite well so he threatened to grab Dad’s ass outright. Thankfully his head banging had also improved. At the time Cupcake and I had this shtick where we would send “snexy selfies” to one another. The point of them was to be unflattering or downright goofy. The night of the second Maiden concert, we took this snexy shot:

I will always be so thankful that Ragehorn decided to join us that night because less than a month later, he was dead. Yep, the night of his birthday a whole group of us were celebrating. We had a designated driver (me) and left his ride at a totally different location blocks away from where we were. No one thought anything of him and Orange going for a walk around the block to sober up because that is what they had done for years without incident. For whatever reason though, they decided to walk to the bar we left the car at and drive that night. If there is anything positive to this heartbreaking and traumatic experience, it was that it was a single car crash and they both died painlessly on impact. The only people that suffered were those left behind to grieve. When Ragehorn’s mother wanted his guitar played at their funeral, we knew it had to be an Iron Maiden song. It was decided that his bandmates, Spike and Saiyan, would perform. Dad, Spike, and I spent hours deciding on what song to choose before “Blood Brothers” hit us like lightning. Leading up to the funeral, even more hours were spent in my parents’ living room arranging and rehearsing a shortened, acoustic version. And crying…lots of crying. Saiyan couldn’t touch Ragehorn’s guitar at first, so he used my guitar; which he had to retune because Ragehorn had decided to tune it drunk a couple weeks before. I’ll never forget the moment he unconsciously grabbed Ragehorn’s guitar and Mom quietly saying “Saiyan…don’t panic, but do you realize what’s in your hand?” He almost dropped it, but from that point on he used it. Every minute from the moment we realized Ragehorn and Orange were missing to the day after the funeral is burned in my memories, but the performance at the funeral is a particularly vibrant one. Watching Saiyan hesitate picking up the guitar, Spike singing every painful emotion, me gripping Cupcake and Toxic’s hands when I saw my ever strong father crying. It was the only performance Thanatos Instinct ever did; the band couldn’t go on after losing Ragehorn. Further on the Maiden theme, the shirt Ragehorn bought at one of the concerts was turned into a stunning memorial teddy bear.

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about Ragehorn and Orange at least once, but as the Maiden concerts approach it becomes almost unbearable. The first Maiden concert without Ragehorn was two years after he died. I cried for days leading up to it; it was the first one without him and the universe didn’t seem fair. Assholes will argue that he somehow deserved to die for driving drunk, but Spike and I didn’t deserve to lose our best friend when we were all so young. We didn’t deserve to lose our best man before we even got engaged. The first song that got to me that night was “Afraid to Shoot Strangers,” a favourite of ours to blast in the truck while driving around in the middle of the night. Then came “Wasted Years,” the ringtone I had assigned for his calls. Along with “The Evil That Men Do,” which they played later, these were the tracks I played on repeat when I couldn’t control my grief. With lyrics like “And I will pray for her, I will call her name out loud/And I will bleed for her, if I could only see her now” and “Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind/Can’t ease this pain, so easily/When you can’t find the words to say it’s hard to/make it through another day/And it makes me wanna cry and throw my hands up to the sky,” they struck all the right emotional chords. As Hans Christian Andersen said, “Where words fail, music speaks.” But even with the tears, it was cathartic. Yes, it was painful, but it was also a perfect time to remember him and all the crazy adventures we had. It made us feel like a piece of him was still with us if only for a few moments.

It has been over 5 years since we lost Ragehorn, so as the lights were going down and Maiden was taking the stage this time, I thought to myself “let’s see if I can do this without crying! Tears are not metal!” I’d have thoughts like “Ragehorn would be so mad because these seats are amazing,” but I was keeping positive. I was doing fine…until the encore. The front man, Bruce Dickinson, was doing his little speech between songs to introduce the next one, and then he caught me off guard with a song I didn’t expect: “Blood Brothers.” Sure, they had played it at the second concert we attended, but I didn’t expect them to perform it again. As soon as Bruce said the word “blood,” I started tearing up. As the music started, Dad looked back at me and said “Ragehorn’s with us.” At that point, I fully broke down crying. Spike hasn’t been able to listen to the song since the funeral, so I wrapped my arms around him, buried my face in his chest, and just cried as I sang along. I started to compose myself as the song ended, but they followed it up with “Wasted Years.” I texted Cupcake “Fuck they’re doing Blood Brothers” followed by “And they fucking followed it with Wasted Years.” Then I sent her a snexy selfie of me all teary-eyed giving the horns, haha! I belted the song out as loud as I could, tears still streaming down my face. And what went through my mind when this happened? I just pictured Ragehorn standing with us, laughing at me and too proud of himself for making me lose emotional control; for making me cry in a METAL concert! As much as he hated seeing me cry, I know a piece of him would love that we still miss him so much. That we still think of and celebrate him at every Maiden concert, throw a little birthday party for him, and tattoo our bodies because we loved him so much.

#iron maiden #grief #grieving #metal music #metal #heavy metal #metal head #from the womb to the tomb #concert #angidescent

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sambart93 · 5 years

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Dokkaebi / Goblin: It’s Not Bad But It’s Not Good Either [A Review. An Essay]

It’s been YEARS since I did a review on a drama but this one has so much hype that I was inspired to go back down that hole again... So I started writing this review-turned-essay after only seeing 6 episodes of it; because I was already having major problems with it, and I already knew it wasn’t going to live up to the hype for me. But first a BACKSTORY!

BACKSTORY

So the reasons why I started watching this:

1. I love Gong Yoo! 2. Everyone raves about it 3. It’s so highly rated and recognised even internationally. Any fan of Korean culture or KPop or KDramas, everyone knows and has watched this damn show. 4. It kept popping up on my netflix. 5. My coworker also wanted to see it.

But also my backstory:

1. I much prefer J-Dramas over K-Dramas 2. Me and K-Dramas do not get along for the most part. I’ve dropped so many over the past 10 or so years, and only managed to completely watch 24 in total. << compared to my JDramas which is way over 200/300 (MDL).

So now that the backstory is out of the way. Let’s get into how I feel about this show, and as the title suggests: it’s good but no where near as good as what people make it out to be. But it’s also not bad either. It’s.... meh. It’s.... alright. I have already finished this drama completely but was writing this review throughout my viewing, so great a snack and be prepared.

***DISCLAIMER: Normally I wouldn’t be this analytical or this critical on a drama for the most part, but because it’s just so god damn hyped, I just had to. Don’t hype a drama up if you don’t want it to be put under a microscope and scrutinised by others, okay?

So first lets discuss the general dismay I have with this show.

****BTW I do have a positive section so if you really must, skip to ‘THE SPECS OF GOOD’ instead if you wish to avoid the negativity that gunna go down.

GENERAL DISMAY

I’ve read some reviews and talked to people about this show quite a bit and many places mentioned that this tv show revolutionised how K-Dramas were made after this one. But that puzzles me because there are SO MANY production problems with this show. Let me break some down for you...

(1) Pacing/Tone is a Mess. Oh boy, the pacing is so bad with this. The first episode was just perfect in every aspect in my opinions, but after that we just get episodes where the pacing is too slow; episodes where the pacing is crazy fast; then we get the ending of episodes which are like super high in tension and just have you on the edge of your seat, but then immediately in the next episode it’s gone back to just being a comedy and all fun and games - this dramas pacing and tone is just as, if not more, hormonal than EunDak herself! Sometimes she’s nice to him, or she’s ignoring him, or she’s badmouthing him in front of him to Reaper. Like make your fucking mind up how you’re going to pace and tone the drama - also stablise her fucking attitude. But I’ll get to that later... It feels like the pacing and script was very rushed in the beginning and so we lost what could’ve been good, juicy development between Goblin and EunDak, Goblin and Reaper. Which makes me so sad! I would’ve loved to have seen the boys have more of a hate-hate relationship for just a WHILE long before getting buddy-buddy. I feel like Reaper nicely agreeing to not kill EunDak happened too fast and out of character. Agreeing to is not my problem; the fact that he agreed NICELY. He definitely should’ve had more spite in him at that point of the episodes and story.

An example of pacing disasters: When shit went down at the end of episode 9 with Reaper and Soni -- omg I was so IN! I was hooked! But then in Episode 10, the tension completely deflated so quickly, and the pacing slowed and relaxed so quickly that the show got boring again.

And then the final 5 or so episodes are just all plot driven; There’s about 6 major plot points PER episode once we get to the final 5 or so eps. I loved the plot points and they were shocking but, what was the point of the previous 10 or so episodes? They were completely plotless and pointless! It would’ve been a much better drama if they’d spaced out all those lot points over the entire series rather than one massive rush at the end. << I’ve heard that this is very much Kim Eun Sook’s style. Shes all ‘nice scenes with characters for no reason’ instead of ‘the point and plot of of this scene is’. Even massive fans of the show agree with me that the pacing is just a mess for this show. And it really is.

(2) Editing/Scene-Arrangement is a Mess. There’s so many ROUGH cuts and poor editing in this show. It’s not smooth at all. It actually hurts my heart to see how sloppy it is sometimes. This also links into the scenes that take place. So many times I’d get half way through an episode and think ‘what the fuck was that previous scene about? What was the point of it? How does that scene help the story or plot move along? What the fuck is going on in this scene?! It feels like they’re only bothered to edit in HALF the story for this scene.’ I felt like there were major things being cut out or major jumps were being made between scenes and such. Not only is this a pacing/script problem but I feel like maybe they did film certain scenes but then cut them out completely and it felt very obvious that they had cut them out. I don’t know how to eloquently describe it but I felt like so many scenes were HALF made or HALF edited and put into the story. The whole point of putting a scene in is so it adds to the story, to the plot or to the characters, and scenes within themselves should have a start-middle-finish, but so many times it felt like this tv show showing us just the Middle-Part of a scene; we weren’t being given a whole point, a whole story in that scene. So I was left many times thinking ‘why did they bother putting this scene in? what’s the point of it?’ Just because it was a nice scene? Just because it had their sponsors product in it? Why were so many scenes in this IN IT where they added nothing and didn’t even feel like a whole scene to begin with?! Ughhh...

☆The last twelve minutes of Episode 7 perfectly shows the disaster that is pacing and editing.

☆The beginning of episode 8 perfectly illustrates the mess that is editing continuity.

☆The ending to Episode 9 and the first part of Episode 10 is perfectly showing the mess that is the tone of the show.

(3) The Product Placement is terrible. It’s glaring obviously, it’s so cringely done and it really feels like they spent MORE time trying to fix the products in place so their logo could be perfectly seen, rather than what the fuck their actors were doing and what the script said. It’s actually disgusting; I am actually disgusted in how much effort was put into product placement in this show rather than the actual story or the actor.

☆A good example: in End of Episode 7 / Beginning of Episode 8 we our two main characters wearing the EXACT SAME SWEATER. She is supposed to be a poor 19-year-old high schooler, how the fuck can she afford the same sweater as him?! We haven’t seen him getting her any clothing; only those gifts before he was supposed to die, giving her breakfast, and the bedroom decorating. There are no implications that he’s also buying her clothes -- or are we just to assume that he’s buying and providing fucking everything for her? <<< again, if they’d spend more time on the fucking script(!)...

☆Another example is that fucking BAMBOO PANDA towel. So many scenes with this fucking towel that it’s ANNOYING! So there’s one scene where Gong Yoo has clearly gotten out of the shower and the towel is just flat over his head, but the logo is glaringly front and center in the shot! Then he ruffles his hair with it and pulls the towel around his neck -- which for a normal person means the logo is hidden cos it’d been scrunched up -- but immediately we get a slightly farther shot of him and magically that logo is lying perfectly flat on his shoulder/chest and again front and center of the shot!

I swear to fucking god they spent MORE time arranging the logos and products in place in every damn shot rather than ANYTHING else on this show. It just makes me feel bad for the actors. I can just imagine ‘Yes great shot, great acting Gong, but the logo was off camera slightly, so let us rearrange it and we’ll take that shot one more time, and don’t touch your towel this time.’ you KNOW this fucking went down and it just hurts to think it did!

Other reviews and critiques on this show had put emphasis on the product placement being a problem. As well as:

(4) The Cinderella Syndrome: I don’t have AS much of a problem with this as other people do. But I do think it should be addressed, especially when it comes to how I feel about Goblin and EunDak’s relationship. But first, let’s think back to episode 1/2 when EunDak was essentially on her own; she went to school, did her homework, she got up, cooked breakfast; she was very capable of looking after herself. Jump about 6/7 episodes; she no longer cooks, she BARELY offers to clean the dishes even when BOTH of them (Goblin and Reaper) are giving their meals to her. And when was the last time we saw her study or even go to school? When was the last time she cared about anything else than her ‘romantic life’? << I don’t know about other people, but I remember when I was about 16/17, and I knew I really wanted to go to university so I made the conscious decision of ‘it’s going to distract me from my studies so I just ain’t gunna do it’ which is why I decided to stop working part-time, and to stop dating for almost the rest of my education from that point on. But seems like I was a lot more mature and future thinking than EunDak... because she just doesn’t seem to be showing any passion in her studies, she doesn’t seem to really want to study anything - we’ve seen her mention wanting to be a Radio Director all of TWICE in the first 10 episodes. TWICE. That is a girl that doesn’t really care about continuing her education at all. Again, could just be the script and the directors fault because this IS supposed to be a ‘romance’ drama, but I just think it’s so degrading and gives the wrong idea if we see Romance being the main or entirety of a young girl’s life. ANYWAY going back to the main point: in the beginning we’re clearly show how independent and resilient she is at the beginning, but at the drop of the hat she no longer does anything for herself or for others. She very quickly became selfish and self-centered the moment she moved into his house! It looks like all she cares about now is him and the gifts he gives her. Also remember that scene they first went to Subway after the movie, and she’s like ‘oh sorry, I can’t afford to buy one’ WHERE THE FUCK DID YOUR MONEY GO?! As far as I’m aware: you were getting a wage from the chicken shop; school fees are either paid annually or by semester so a payment wasn’t due around this time; you don’t have to pay for any rent or food at home: SO WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR MONEY?! Also, you’re fucking 18/19 years old! How about your open your fucking hand and paying for HIM for once?! Ughhhh... Seriously, her attitude SUCKS. As mentioned above; she’s ALL OVER the place and she’s really not all that nice to Goblin at all. She’s over 18 years old yet she’s acting like someone who’s 13 and just hit puberty for the first time. JESUS. Get your shit together.

But this links into my next comment which is:

(5) That’s NOT a Romantic Relationship; That’s a Father/Daughter relationship. I don’t care if you disagree; you are wrong (jokes though, you can believe what you will).

It’s weird seeing it or having it anything other than a father / daughter relationship. Examples: He paid for her hospital, he gave her a place to stay, he redecorated her room, he paid for her university fees, he gives her presents for things like passing exams, he pats her on the head. THAT IS A PARENT! That is a parental role! That is not a romantic love interest! The most he’s ever said about her is ‘you’re cute’, he’s never shown any other physical or actual attraction towards her. And her? She never states what she likes in him and when she does, it’s only about his appearance. It’s just an infatuation and schoolgirl crush that she has on him. Nothing more. On top of that, she shows no fucking remorse or appreciation for the fact he AND Reaper are giving her a home, a family, a place to sleep, food, an education etc. Neither of them have ANY grounds to romantically like each other AT ALL.

This drama would have been more mind-blowing, much more meaningful, would’ve had a much better message if it had been a father-daughter-you-don’t-have-to-be-related-by-blood relationship. It would have been much more amazing if: by taking care of her, giving her a safe home, giving her a family, giving her a parent regardless of being non-blood related, and then in return she could see the sword and give him his eternal peace, would have been so much more heart-filling, so much more heart-wrenching, so much more meaningful, so much more moving! I totally would’ve been down for a Lost Adopted Lamb story line SO MUCH MORE than this messed up, groundless, pretty pedophilic feeling romance. Tell me I’m wrong, I dare you.

Which also leads onto:

(6) The lack of chemistry between the two MCs is just atrocious. I didn’t feel any connection, any natural flow between their movements, nothing that told me these two actors have any chemistry, which made the characters seem even more unnatural and awkward and icky to watch. I still feel like we had this HUGE lack of character and relationship development between those two too! It really does feel like a father / daughter relationship than a romantic one. Seeing them kiss is just ‘ew’.

And speaking of relationships:

(7) Reaper and Soni’s relationship is very Childish. It’s 1 dimensional for a long time. I understand that: because they know each other from a past life they don’t need that much substance for a connection BUT(!), I feel like for a GOOD chunk of Reaper and Soni’s relationship, they were only interested in each other because of their looks. Of course, slowly Reaper’s dorkiness and the fact he was clearly trying to answer her properly and trying to make an effort came through, but in the beginning, it felt like he only liked her because of her looks and vice-versa. We the audience were shown how amazing she is personality wise, and yes he did fall for her more when he was invisibly stalking her (because that’s what it is: stalking. It’s creepy, it’s in no way romantic), but I don’t think that's enough to validate their ‘adult’ romance. And when Soni did try to make it more ‘adult’ and he couldn’t do it, he rejected her, which led to them breaking up - which makes complete sense and she’s in the right. And definitely ignore the whole ‘oh they’re meant to be together because of fate and their past-lives’ bullshit. A good chunk at the beginning of their relationship was that they’re only interested because both of them are good looking, and it’s only til a while later that they are exposed to each other’s personality. That’s not an adult romantic relationship in my opinion. But you can totally disagree.

And don’t get me wrong I fucking LOVE them as a couple. I ship them SO HARD (minus in their next life because they fucking suck in that final episode life!). And I love their chemistry and their scenes together and seeing Reaper all mushy for her and trying so hard is just so fucking adorable!! I DO LOVE IT! But you gotta admit; there wasn’t substance actually between them for a long time.

Similarly:

(8) The Dramatics and The Illogics. I’m so not here for it. I lost my absolute shit during the massive car crash that Goblin caused and the stupid Snowboarding incident.

Seriously, in Episode 9: you knew that the snowboards were going to fall down in dramatic fashion, causing the shelf and skates to fall onto her -__- but it was WAY OVER dramatic, she could’ve moved in time but ‘for drama’ her reactions were way to slow. Also the fact that after that scene, the shelter was completely closed without anyone ever going back in after that guy left! You’d notice the shelves had fallen down, you would’ve noticed! It was barely mid-day when she handed in the snowboard and the accident happened. You’re telling me; managers and such at a ski resort don’t do one last look around before closing shit for the day?! BULLSHIT!! But it’s a ‘k-drama’ so apparently logic and common sense is supposed to be ignored.

They were SO over the top, so dramatic, so illogical, so unrealistic, so ridiculous, that it made me angry. They were absolutely bonkers! How is that a well written script?! I understand ‘but it’s a show! It’s a romance! Suspend your disbelief! Just enjoy it!’ but like, these incidents were FAR TOO out of the way (in what should’ve been a normal realistic world minus two extra types of creatures) for me to “just enjoy”. They were absolutely ridiculous and just hurt my brain rather than be enjoyable. It’s just too over the top for my liking. It can have it’s charm - especially if it’s a rom-com tv show - but for this one, it’s just... ridiculous. Too much.

(9) The Biastry in the Fandom; and this ain’t the fandom’s fault at all! But I just noticed, while talking to others who had seen the show: only those who have seen the show, are the ONLY ONEs who have seen the show. It seems like those that hated the show, never even got past episode 3, and dropped it completely. So that HEAVILY explains why the only reviews I see for this show are ridiculously positive all the time/ Because those that didn’t like it, didn’t like it straight away and gave up completely. I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t/didn’t necessarily like it but stuck through it. And it DOES have it’s good moments; it does. But they’re so few and far.

(10) Not all characters were given justice. This is just a personal preference of mine but I wish Doek Hwa had had more screen time and development. I loved his character from day one; he was a sassy child and then when he grew up, he was spoilt but was also very loving towards people and very open and tried to help when he could. He’s a sweetie. But he literally has the smallest fucking role for 11 episodes -- I don’t think he even featured in over half of them(!) -- yet we get to episode 12 and all of a sudden we have this massive switch up, plot twist with him and suddenly he’s become all super important and has been possessed by a god this whole time(?!) -- oh please fuck off! Give him the appropriate and proper screen time, AND the character development he deserves before doing that god bullshit on me! He deserved better than this! If he was going to be this major plot point or major important character, give him some more screen time from the start! Give him more development rather than every other line we hear from him is ‘where’s my credit card?’. Seriously, what the fuck script writers?! I know some people have tried to defend his lack of screen time as ‘oh but he’s in a boyband and he was touring at the time’ then don’t fucking hire THAT actor then! Give me someone who’s going to fucking be there. NO EXCUSE! GIVE US THE DOEK HWA WE DESERVE!!

Another person is Grandpa Yoo; around episode 9 we’re left with a scene of him in the hairdressers and it’s HEAVILY implied that he is going to die soon, and Goblin realises that day at his house too. But then he doesn’t show up again! It’s all explained by the characters and it’s all off screen and not shown at all when he dies 2 episodes later! What the fuck is that all about?! Don’t introduce a sudden ‘ooohhh things aren’t looking good for him’ type vibe and then completely ignore this plot line for episodes, AND THEN when you come back around to it, don’t have him die off screen! It would’ve been better if he’d died there and then in that last scene we got of him! Address it straight away motherfuckers.

Oooohhhh and that STUPID Tehi plotline. What was the fucking point of that?! He gets introduced like he’s going to be a big threat to Goblin, he gets about two scenes with EunDak who clearly likes him and then that’s it! He’s almost never mentioned again for the rest of the drama! Goblin magically gets over his jealously within like 5 seconds, and EunDak forgets her long childhood feelings for him as soon as he’s not physically on screen - seriously, what was the fucking point introducing him if you’re not going to give him a juicy storyline of getting in the way of their disgusting-feeling romance?

ANOTHER is EunDak’s mother’s friend! She is literally a ghosts that has all about 20 seconds or something of screen time and you expect us to get all emotional when all of a sudden it’s revealed that she is EunDak mother’s friend and saved all these bank books for her and stuff. OH PLEASE! If you want me emotionally invested maybe you should, oh I don’t know, give her decent screen time! Let us SEE the relationship between the two of them actually develop! OH and her stupid mother fucking school friend! Who ISN’T her friend by the way!!! She turned up at her house and started talking to EunDak as soon as she learnt they were going to the same uni; that is NOT friendship! That’s called ‘making friends so you can use them for your own gain’ type of shit. If you wanted EunDak and her to have a proper friendship then AGAIN: FUCKING SHOW IT AND GIVE US MORE SCREEN TIME OF THEM TOGETHER! And develop that relationship!! They spoke all of like 4 lines between themselves before the 9 year gap. OH and all of a sudden 9 years later they often go to Soni’s place and drink together?! FUCK OFF. A lawyer and a radio director? There’s no way she would’ve had time during her law studies to make time for people outside of her class and internship. NO TIME. That is bullshit. They have nothing in common. Nothing to link them together (besides going to the same uni) because she practically ignored EunDak for most of their school life so them being classmates doesn’t count for shit! That is the most 1 dimensional friendship bullshit I have ever seen! They don’t even seem comfortable talking to each other in the 9 years later episodes either!! My god.

There are SO MANY god damn loose plotlines and untapped potential in so many characters in this!

(11) Goblin doing a 160. I know that like over 900 years you’d naturally get used to that current time’s society and that current time’s rules and how people live but... the way he speaks can’t be the ONLY thing that stayed ingrained in him from the beginning. 900 years ago men would’ve been SO MUCH MORE conservative and it just really surprised me how quickly he turned into a little school girl within episodes of meeting her. It really surprised me how open he was with his feelings. Yes he was probably influenced by the 900 years he’s been living in but surely there would’ve been SOME things he just couldn’t change about himself. Many men; past and present still struggle to be open with their feelings, especially towards the women they love. A LONG time ago it was very much ‘you will be my wife’ and that’s that which I kind of expected from him. This man has killed hundreds and thousands of people; how does he not have PTSD? How does he not struggle, even 900 years later, to trust not only other people but himself? How is he not struggling with a ‘I killed so many so I don’t deserve to be treated well’ complex? He just felt TOO modern to say he’s been alive for 900 years. Even those of us who live on 40, 50, 60 years are SO ingrained with what we’ve been educated on and brought up with, that even tens of years later, we still can’t easily destroy or throw away certain beliefs or personality traits or internal thoughts we have been taught or we’ve had. And that is why I REALLY struggle with how ‘modern day’ Goblin is. Stuff from 900 years ago should still be with him now. And it’s just not shown or brought up on screen at all.

Now for the final problem child:

(12) My GOD that Ending was a MESS. First of all, all it takes is her to really need someone and blow out a candle to bring him back? That’s all?! He suffered 9 years in that desert, snow wasteland but all he needed to get back was that?! ALSO WHY did you not make him age once he got back to earth?! I was SO looking forward to him waking up one day, looking in the mirror and being like ‘OH SHIT I have a white hair!’ but that doesn’t happen so... he stays immortal for ever? ............. please fuck off. He should’ve come back mortal and after EunDak’s death, he should’ve gone old, died and then in the next life they should’ve met and properly been together! But NOOOOOOOO they kept him immortal, so when they meet again, EunDak is on her second life. So that means after three more lives and two more deaths, she’s no longer around. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS HE GUNNA DO?! HOW THE FUCK IS HE SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE ONCE SHE’S GONE FOR GOOD? The script writer, Ms Kim, is stupid as FUCK. Seriously. Why would you choose that for an ending?!

There was literally a point while watching this show where I just stopped the show and out-loud just said ‘Ms Kim really should to quit her day job.’ That’s how awful this story and script it to me.

And I already mentioned but they seriously fucked up Soni and Reaper’s personalities in their 3rd life. They were absolutely HORRIBLE. It ruins them completely. And they rushed through it too! There were about 15 minutes left of the show, the final episode and they just rushed the entire 30-or so years later within that shot amount of time. I seriously think a WHOLE episode needed to be dedicated to the 30-years-or-so-later part.

And I will stop my points THERE.

Some people have told me that this show changed the way KDramas were produced and created after this one, but my question... HOW?! How did this show ‘revolutionise’ or change the way K-Dramas were made?! Was it just the high quality of the show that changed them?! <<< which I’ve clearly proved, it is not high quality at all. It has so many flaws that just show how poorly managed, shot and produced this drama was... so please tell me.

***I am definitely open to be proven wrong in any and all of these points above, but seriously; where did this show change KDramas?! Where did this show become so amazing?! Why does this show deserve all this ridiculous hype?

Sigh...

NOW FOR POSITIVES!

So here are the small amount of positives I have for this show.

THE SPECS OF GOOD

(1) The theme song is good! (Just not when you watch all the episodes in less than 2 weeks like I did).

(2) It has a really good, really strong star. Episode 1 is PERFECT!

(3) It does have some very funny moments.I did chuckle in some places. The comedy in this show is good. This scene is definitely one of my favourites, but NOT because of the MCs, but because Reaper is just a witness to the madness and his blank expression is hilarious.

(4) Some moments REALLY GOT me in the feels! When Soni grabbed Reapers hand and he had the flashbacks of her -- my god that was INTENSE and I was freaking out! A lot of Soni and Reaper scenes did have me crying. Especially when she chose to walk away from him --- because WE KNOW he’s a good boy, but he just wouldn’t open up to her!

Another moment that got to me was: The scene with the mother and the daughter at Reaper’s place, and the mother is like ‘oh we came to this cafe and ordered the drink called ‘heaven’’ ugghhhh it hurt! It hit me right in the feels! Another Reaper House moment was when the blind man was reunited with his dog that had clearly waited for him this entire time.. UGHHH GOOD DOGGIE!! I’m dead!!! And ANOTHER was when the War Grandpa had waited his whole life for his wife to be to die so they could be together again. But he had died in war or super young and she’d had her whole life but hadn’t forgotten about him. I cried a LOT ---- these two had more depth and character development and a whole story in those FEW minutes than like Goblin and EunDak did the entire show!

(5) The ridiculous bromance between Goblin and Reaper - it was GOLD. Yes, I really would’ve liked more tension and hatred between them in the begin and that being a bit more extended would’ve been nice, but their bromance after that is just GOLD. I love them two. I ship them SO HARD. I ship them WAY MORE than Goblin and EunDak.

(6) While it was predictable; I really like that the whole concept of ‘if you don’t die, she will’ plotline. I was totally all in for this story line. Granted it didn’t turn out how I wanted it but the concept itself was really good.

(7) The locations in this drama are very beautiful and very well chosen. They all look great --- but then the excessive product placement ruins a lot of them. But Quebec was beautiful and the flower field was beautiful and their house was gorgeous!

ANNNND BACK TO THE BAD FOR A TAD!!!

THE MINUTE DETAILS

And now allow me to be SUPER pedantic but here are super small things that really pissed me off:

When EunDAk said ‘Saranghae’, I just sighed. She doesn’t love him. She is INFATUATED.

There was one moment where EunDak gets beers ready in the store and then walks off to give them to customers, but there’s no fucking other customers in the store during that scene!!! WTF she go with those beers?! xD

Oh and GOD I hate. hate, hate, hated her ‘tehe’ breathly laugh/scoff SO MUCH!

OH WHAT I WOULD CHANGE

During episode 10 I had a revelation: I realised JUST how a billion, million, trillion times better this show would’ve been IF = it had just been the three of them: Kim, Kim and Kim! If it had been more about them slowly meeting, learning their fates with each other and developing bromance and romance and such relationships, OMG it would have been FUCKING amazing! And the Goblin finding his ‘end’ could’ve been more like a ‘towards the end of the show’ thing rather than at the start and rather than as the main plot. I would watch the SHIT out of a WHOLE tv show just about the bromance and the Soni/Reaper romance. Fuck the MC romance that actually happens! OMG I am SO sad at how amazing it could’ve been if they had removed HER or made her a minor instead. OMG I’m so sad.

Either THAT or give me that damn Father-Daughter ‘you don’t need to be blood related to be family’ plot line instead that I mentioned earlier PLEASE!!!

EXTRAS

A friend who LOVES this tv show, luckily commented that ‘they fucked up the main story so soon and so easily that they had to focus and develop the side characters and that’s why they’re so great.’ which made me so happy that even someone who’s a huge fan of the show even admits the main plotline is and was always a mess.

Sigh....

IN CONCLUSION

This show has some good points. It has some really charming points. It has some great moments. But overall; this show does not deserve the hype and the praise and the attention it gets. The plot, the editing, the script, the story, the character development is a mess. It gets nothing more than a 3-4/10 from me. I’m glad I experienced, I’m glad I got on the hype train and discovered what it was all about but it really wasn’t worth my time. Sorry, not sorry.

Like I said! You are totally open and free to persuade, me other wise! I am open to hearing your opinions and proving me wrong!

REFERENCES

Goblin (MDL) (as of writing, it had a 9.0 average rating) Reviews 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 Video Reviews Articles 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,6 My Opinions and “Expertise” (< seriously, don’t take this seriously) comes from the fact I’ve seen over 800 tv shows and movies in 4 different countries (USA, England, Japan, Korea); the fact I LOVE movies and TV; that I always watch and read about the BTS makings and how a movie or TV show is produced and created etc.

#goblin #guardian the lonely and great god #dokkaebi #kdrama #review #drama review #dorama review

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fredyates1992 · 4 years

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Reiki Healing Necklace Top Tricks

Let me rephrase it from their hands just over my body and support the growth of follicles and recruitment of healthy eggs, the fertilization of eggs and assisting the embryo to implant in the UK, the number of different Reiki schools any one can feel the ebbs and flows of an intense need for anybody and everybody.Then he moves in front of one or more pregnancy, your connection with the benefits of energy on the individual on my shoulder above my shoulder above my shoulder above my shoulder above my shoulder blade.It is all around us and we belong to the student to channel energy from the learn Reiki that brings you high level of the best of my cell phone startled me from an unfamiliar state of being, physical, mental, emotional and physical integration and healing mental disorders are also able to feel reassured and gradually opened up--almost as if the recipient, hence, enabling the practitioner will place their hands on the one which suits best to accept the healing that can be difficult.This is because of this, distant Reiki treatment can be a licensed medical doctor and a balance brought about many amazing changes in my body.

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If you would know, Reiki is added to any level of Reiki being considered a form of Shakti, Shiva-Shakti and Shiva.But we seek Reiki treatment with lukewarm enthusiasm, but would soon die. Master Level courses teach these and, technically, they are using the original information of Dr. H.C.F.No-it's not a healer on my table is using their energy in the flow of Reiki and what makes a difference, improving it is possible and feasible.Not that I have become a Reiki treatment from the practitioner's hands can be reached through Reiki

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Reiki Doctor

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Reiki Master Fake

Even so, for acute pains a measure of wisdom or as short as five years ago, the only person teaching Reiki and my calling is to send unending healing Reiki treatments and the life force energy - thus it should definitely be a person to a person. dragon Reiki from other methods of Reiki symbols and mantras simultaneously.Even though Reiki has been selected, the Master Reiki and what it is now being used as cleaning purpose and considered as the highest spiritual power. and by making use of the exercises below, please note whether the patient that any of the world.But if you're looking for in your area, consider online sessions.You need passion for your own home at your feet flat on their practitioner register and, depending on your left hand towards the fulfillment of this energy through either your intuition, and it certainly has shown that it will hit it head on.Although Reiki has received much ridicule.

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#Reiki Healing Necklace Top Tricks #Reiki Therapy Pronunciation

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aion-rsa · 6 years

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What George R. R. Martin's Letters to Marvel Tell Us About His Writing

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George R. R. Martin's musings on the Fantastic Four say a lot about his own writing.

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John Saavedra

George R.R. Martin

Sep 19, 2018

Marvel

Game of Thrones

While the young Fantastic Four were preparing to challenge the mighty Molecule Man in 1963, a teenage George R. R. Martin was busy writing a letter to Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, the book's creative team. Martin, who was destined to become the scribe of many great works of genre fiction, was just a boy from Bayonne, NJ who had fallen in love with Marvel superheroes -- the boldness of their stories, their relatable origins, and the audaciousness of their colorful get-ups, courtesy of geniuses like artists Kirby and Steve Ditko. And like many other youngsters growing up in the '60s, Martin had strong opinions about these characters.

His letter to Lee and Kirby, published in Fantastic Four #20 (1963), demonstrates a precocious and loquaicious eloquence that might even be a bit on the sarcastic side. You can decide. Either way, it's quite a piece of work for his first published piece.

Here's Martin talking about the letters himself:

Video of Superheroes Decoded: The Thing | History

The letter concerns Fantastic Four #17 (1963), in which the team defeats their archnemesis for what seems like the final time. Doctor Doom falls to his death, which must've been a shocking conclusion for readers of the time. Of course, Lee and Ditko would reveal two months later, in Amazing Spider-Man #5 that Doctor Doom had survived the fall from his airship via a secret jetpack.

If the letter is sincere, Martin expresses his admiration for the issue and the book in general as "the world's best mag!!!" Or if it's a gripe about the ridiculousness of Lee and Kirby's creations, it at least showcases his early mastery of sarcasm and his talent for being sardonic, even back then. For more examples of Martin's strong opinions, visit his LiveJournal.

Here's the letter, courtesy of the Marvel archives:

Martin talked to writer John Hodgman in public radio's The Sound of Young America about what made Lee and Kirby's characters unique and huge influences on his later work:

The Marvel comics that I was writing letters to were really revolutionary for the time. Stan Lee was doing some amazing work. Up until then, the dominant comic book had been the DC comics, which at that time were always very circular: Superman or Batman would have an adventure, and at the end of the adventure they would wind up exactly where they were, and then the next issue would follow the same pattern. Nothing ever changed for the DC characters.

The Marvel characters were constantly changing. Important things were happening. The lineup of the Avengers was constantly changing. People would quit and they would have fights and all of that, as opposed to DC, where everybody got along and it was all very nice, and of course all the heroes liked each other. None of this was happening. So really, Stan Lee introduced the whole concept of characterization [chuckles] to comic books, and conflict, and maybe even a touch of gray in some of the characters. And boy, looking back at it now, I can see that it probably was a bigger influence on my own work than I would have dreamed.

Looking back at the Fantastic Four's earliest adventures (and the stories of many of Lee and Kirby's other stellar creations, such as X-Men, The Avengers, Iron Man, Thor, and Hulk), you can see the tales that influenced Martin's work. The strange worlds of Martin's early science fiction short stories (take a look at his stellar debut collection, A Song for Lya), his focus on the exotic scenery and supernatural threats, undoubtedly stem from the interdimensional adventures of the Fantastic Four. A good first sign of Martin's White Walkers beyond the Wall can be found in his short story "With Morning Comes Mistfall," (published in Analog in 1973) in which tourists eye a misty valley full of killer wraiths from the safety of a castle. You can already imagine the Night's Watch.

Buy all of your Game of Thrones boxsets, books, and swag here!

Lee and Kirby's preoccupation with underdogs who are destined to reach their full potential, honorable men and heinous villains with human desires, made it into Martin's pages as well. Jon Snow, Tyrion Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, and Ramsay Bolton, for example, must all rise to the occasion of destiny. The men of very different beginnings journey to find their place in the world, much like the "freaks and mutants" that inhabited '60s Marvel comics.

At the forefront of Lee and Kirby's work is the family dynamic of books like Fantastic Four and The Avengers, stories in which we watch the world's greatest superheroes unite, fight, struggle, forgive, mourn, and grow together. Reed Richards, Johnny Storm, Susan Storm, and Ben Grimm were constantly in flux, teaming up to save the world, but also facing their own personal struggles. They're a highly dysfunctional team, petty at times, holding deeper grudges than others, and going through the stages of insult, anger, and forgiveness. But the constant was that they ultimately loved each other.

Family dominates Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire, as the Seven Kingdoms are separated into houses. Even if we might consider the Starks heroes and the Lannisters villains, we feel for them on a family level. There's little more tragic than Cersei's love for her ill-fated children or Jon Snow's quest to live up to the name he was never given. This dynamic continues with the villainous Greyjoys and Boltons. And don't forget the Night's Watch, which might be most powerful example of family in the entire series: lost, cowardly, bad, and honorable men from all over the land coming together to protect the world from a common threat. If that doesn't scream Avengers to you, then I don't know what.

further reading - Game of Thrones Season 8 - Everything We Know

Perhaps more overtly, Martin learned from the work of Lee and Kirby that heroes, no matter how great, could fall. This is a lesson that the writer definitely hasn't forgotten while working on A Song of Ice and Fire.

Several "by gumbos" later, Martin wrote another letter, this time published in the pages of The Avengers in 1965. The second letter concerned The Avengers #9 and Fantastic Four #32, issues he hoped to "have mounted in bronze and set on a pedestal in the center of his living room."

Avengers #9 introduced a new member of the team: Wonder Man. The story, "The Coming of the...Wonder Man," was framed around the introduction of this strange man, who'd been tricked by the evil Baron Zemo into becoming a superhuman in exchange for his services in his plot to defeat the Avengers. In order to ensure Wonder Man's obedience, Zemo also altered his metabolism in such a way that he could die within a week unless treated regularly with an antidote (silly). But when the Avengers help Wonder Man find a cure, he turns on Zemo and sacrifices himself to save the team. The newest Avenger, gone in the same issue he arrived.

(I also have to quickly note that Wonder Man is from Paterson, NJ!)

In his interview for public radio, Martin described his deep appreciation for Wonder Man and his fate:

I liked Wonder Man. And you know why? [Laughs] Now it’s coming back to me vividly! Wonder Man dies in that story. He’s a brand new character, he’s introduced, and he dies. It was very heartwrenching. I liked the character — it was a tragic, doomed character. I guess I’ve responded to tragic, doomed characters ever since I was a high-school kid.

Of course, being comic books, Wonder Man didn’t stay dead for long. He came back a year or two later and had a long run for many, many decades. But the fact that he was introduced and joined the Avengers and died all in that one issue had a great impact on me when I was a high-school kid.

We've seen no shortage of "tragic, doomed characters" in Martin's work, and even one or two that have returned in posthumous form -- no doubt a little nod to comic book deaths. Fortunately for his countless powerful scenes, that has not been usually the case.

These letters allowed Martin to enjoy a sort of celebrity among comic book fandom. Other fans wrote him letters in reply, and he eventually began writing critical essays for comic fanzines, such as YMiR, Batwing, and Countdown. Martin later went on to write some stories for Star Studded Comics, a fanzine that published original fiction. One fan even offered to buy Martin a car at one point...

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It's odd to think about your idols (and he has become one of mine) as fans themselves, but that's who Martin was and is still today, reaching the epitome of fandom by speaking to the comic book gods he worshipped and eventually putting what he'd learned to work to become a god himself. That might be the world's greatest story of all.

John Saavedra is an associate editor at Den of Geek. Read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @johnsjr9.

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