#im truly. too fuckin soft for this life

[soldier-poet-king]

Big emotional day for les mis letters readers who are both deeply religious and deeply pro rev & social justice but also stricly non violence, by which I mean me and maybe 2 other people on the face of this earth

1.1.10 is THEE crux of the book politically and also my entire life problem and philosophy and this conversation haunts me every single time

#les mis letters #like. growing more and more radical as i grow more and more religious #but im also extreme anti violence #but also like i GET IT #yes reign of terror was bad but like. in the beginning some points were made wrt the philosophy of the frev? #MURDER IS ALWAYS WRONG. #but etc etc grieve for the aristo if you will grieve for the poor etc etc #CONFLICTING AND EXCRUCIATING TENSION #how do i explain that im increasingly radical BECAUSE im religious #and yes the thunderbolt is horrible. but you cannot blame it without examining 1500 years of gathering clouds #im truly. too fuckin soft for this life #thinking abt. how the guillotine cannot be neutral. one cannot see it and remain neutral #i think the issue being from an anglo country and raised super catholic. both very FREV haters (perhaps understandably) #but my big dumb idealistic heart is all about atonement and redemption and reconciliation and justice and mercy #and balancing all of that is the hardest shit in the world #im just. the conventionalist. the ideal. the infinite. the divine. #i could keep rambling but in some aspects it boils down to an ends vs means and justice vs mercy debate #but ends and means also exists alongside apathy. and the status quo is also untenable and unethical #its about each and every single human person!!!! how am i supposed to deal with that!!!! how can i be Good in such a complex world #idk im not a frev expert i took like. 1 elective in uni. im a classics person #i am TOO SOFTHEARTED FOR THIS. once we get to the jehan description im gonna mcfuckin die #because for a whole ass decade ive grown and changed and i keep coming back to his love and philosophy and just. him. #the most me. and idk how to explain that prouvaire (canon not fanon) illustrates (imo) the same tension #but also the same goals i have. the same person i am trying to be

[definitelynotwinter]

When is life supposed to get better again? When does it get easy? When will I wake up without everything worrying me...and when will I snap back into reality and feel light again. Without any fear, with the ability to know I'm secure and loved. To have my health no longer be failing me and to not care what others think.

Idk I'm just a miserable bitch and life will always be as horrible as it ever has been,

But God am I trying so hard for it to not be

I just wish I had a break so I can be...light. just for once.

#summer shut up #if it werent for my son life is just a neverending nightmare and im so surprised i havent killed myself yet #when will i be loved? so truly and purely. i want something soft and sweet with butterflies #the kind of love that makes you blush by yourself. the kind of love where you look at the person and want to shut down because everything #everything hits you. i want something so soft sweet and pure. someone to open doors for me. write me poetry. take pictures when i dont ask #i want to be able to talk about anything without fear i want it to be mutual just so head over heels for one another #i just want the pinnacle of romance and love it makes me want to throw up and then i want that to be the model for how my son treats his #his future partners. makes me want to throw up that i have to go through it all essentially alone #i just want to be understood and not pacified by my partners too god thats just romance #i want my health to get better im tired of being sick im tired of dying im TIRED. #like get this tumor out of my fuckin head already yeah i renoved 2 already but the one underneath my brain is cramping my fucking style #i feel like im going to die soon and i dream about it so vividly and its just so bitter sweet #anyways i dont have anywhere else to vent and im crying myself to sleep bc im overwhelmed with how bad life truly is #just when will it get easier? i just want to run away from all of it. my health #i need a job im supporting an almost 1 yr old by myself im not doing okay #when does it get easier!!!!!!!i want to scream #i know im stupid just disregard this im melting down

[bunnibitez]

Messy Hands - Part Two

Mafia!Miguel x Shy!Reader AFAB

Summary: Miguel just can’t get you off his mind. As a result, he’s always there when you need him most, whether you like it or not.

Word count: 4.6k+

CW: 18+ so MDNI, NSFW, mentions of blood, acts of violence, SA(NOT MIGUEL), stalking, jealousy, possessive behaviors, toxic relationship, mentions of death, slow burn, no use of Y/N

A/N: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO GET OUT BUT I PROMISE ITS GOOD!!! THANK YOU TO MY BETA READER @jshookthighs I FUCKIN LOVE YOU

Part One here

Time never stops.

It marches on, dragging the corpse of yesterday behind it. Time never ceases and neither does the on going battle behind closed eyes and clenched fists. No matter how many deep breaths are sucked in between gritted teeth, no matter how much he prayed, begged, kicked or screamed, time marched on. Taking it’s toll on the world and his soul as it did. With time came its companion, decay. A devious creature that preyed on the innocent and beautiful, corrupting it with it’s touch. That’s how Miguel began to see it all. It was a matter of time until his brain too rotted away until his skull was nothing more than an empty cavity to host his rage rather than his conscience. Every day he could feel the threads of his sanity being pulled taut, and every day he doubted how much longer he could go without being the cause of a fucking masacre.

Wrath.

Rage.

Justice.

So much “justice” due. That’s how he saw it. So many people had done wrong by him; tore him apart, brick by brick. Hurt the people he loved most just to get to him. Until one fateful night, he was left with nothing but a beating heart pumping weakly in a dirty alley, left to die. His chest still tightens at the memory of her. Stolen innocence snuffed out too soon. And yet the ones to blame were left unharmed, hidden behind the ivory walls of their mansions, never truly getting their hands dirty.

Cowards.

If only he had the chance, he’d slaughter them. Watch the life drain from their pathetic bodies as they’d squirm and writhe in pain. Begging for a bullet. But Miguel would take his time with them though, he was patient and knew better than to grant them a sliver of mercy. It was the only lesson his father ever taught him.

But that all would come in due time. Miguel was patient, capable of biding his time until his prey found themselves tangled in his web and unable to escape. But until then much like time, Miguel marched on; dragging a little corpse behind him.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Weeks had since passed at this point, breezing through late spring and bleeding into early summer. The days after the mysterious brute entered Bellagino’s were tense, leaving Mr. Caparelli flighty and panicked. The stout little man could often be found pacing in the kitchen, muttering to himself with a distraught look painted on his face. You didn’t dare ask why he seemed so frightened since his ‘friend’ came to visit, mostly because you yourself seemed a little terrified of him as well. In lieu of your best efforts and his divine features, the man was cold and seemed pestered by your presence at your last encounter. Despite this though, you seem to find yourself staring at him more and more. Since the meeting with Bellaginos’ owner, Miguel had begun to visit the quaint little restaurant every other week or so.

Miguel couldn’t find the motive behind his actions truly. He raked his brain for an answer, disturbing the cobwebs in his head to try and understand why he had to mindlessly sit here and watch. Sit and watch this run down old restaurant like a dog. Sit and feel his shoulders slump as the soft hum began to tune out the buzzing in his mind. He’d come in and plop down at the same little table in the center of the room and the owner would bring him the same ice water with lemon.

For the first two weeks, he had attempted to convince himself it was purely to ensure that Caparelli wouldn’t run out on him. Sure, getting to watch the pretty little thing behind the register try not to stare was fun, but these were just business trips. What did it matter that he started coming in twice a week? What did it matter that he’d feel a twist of disappointment when he’d walk through the creaky little door and not see you in your usual spot because it was your day off? It was just business.

That is until finally he had no choice but to confront the truth. It came at him, sitting in his lap, oozing through his gut and making his stomach tie in knots. It made him nervous and queasy, forced to hide it all behind a stonewall mask. It felt foreign, his thoughts jumbled as he began to lose focus on it all.

‘There’s no way. It’s just work.. It’s just..’

It was a warm night in July and an unusually busy Friday evening at Bellagino’s, due in part to the ongoing festival at the Brooklyn Bridge Park. Fairy lights twinkled overhead in the outdoor dining area, each seat filled with couples and gaggles of laughing friends. Miguel almost didn’t recognize the place with it so full of life. The building had an unfamiliar glow to it that simply complimented it, turning it into the homely feel of a little Italian cottage. Turning his attention to the windows as he approached, he saw you, floating around tables with a smile on your face. His lips parted slightly as he watched you, glowing like an angel in the warm lights.

In your element, twirling to avoid guests with ease, plating food and drinks without spilling a drop. You moved with grace and poise, completely unbothered and confident. It was a complete parallel to how you acted when Miguel was there.

That’s when he felt it. A tugging at his chest and the tightening of his lungs as he held his breath. He could feel his heart thrumming as he stood there, starstruck. For the first time, it wasn’t just a subtle hum, it was a goddamn symphony. A cacophony of harmonious melodies blended together to form the tune playing behind his eyes as he gawked in awe. He couldn’t think straight, his own thoughts being muffled out and pulled to the back of his mind. Sweaty palms clenched into tight fists as he closed his eyes and tried to shake out the cotton filling his head.

‘Think O’Hara… Breathe dammit…’ he reminded himself.

A large hand brushed back loose curls as he inhaled slowly through his nose. He knew he couldn’t stand there staring at you all night like some love stricken fool. He forced himself to move, to draw closer to the siren that called his name without even knowing he was there. His knees buckled, faltering for only a moment as he approached the door. Pushing through, his nerves got the better of him for just a split second and his instincts slipped as his eyes merely tracked you throughout the bustling restaurant. Forgetting to duck his head like he usually did, the top of Miguel’s forehead smacked into the doorframe with a soft thud.

He winced, inhaling sharply as he stumbled inside for a moment. He grit his teeth, more so from annoyance rather than pain. He shut his eyes, hoping to drown out the throbbing at the front of his skull if he rubbed it hard enough. He was grateful that almost everyone else seemed too enveloped in their own mindless conversations to even notice he’d arrived.

Almost everyone.

Approaching Miguel, you looked up at him. His hulking frame would’ve been intimidating had it not been that he slouched a little as he held his head. For the first time since you met him, it made your eyebrows draw upward in concern.

“Sir, are you okay..?”

It took Miguel a moment to open his eyes, his scarlet irises glancing down at you. Slowly he took in the shape of you, nodding his head sheepishly as he swallowed. His hand fell away from his head as he tried to regain his composure. This had been the first time since your initial meeting that you’d spoken to him. Once again, that honey voice triggered the euphoric hum in the back of his mind. Once his gaze met your eyes, he felt his heart skip a beat. They were dazzling and full of genuine concern for him. The kind of eyes that men write poems and hymns about. Sweet irises that he could swim in, but he feared that if he dove in, he’d never come up for air. He’d never seen eyes like yours before. So awestruck that the only response he could give you was a low hum.

You looked down, feeling your bravery caught in your chest. Your eyes darted down to your feet and you cleared your throat, trying to remember the usual script you ran through when a customer arrived.

“R-Right, well… Table for one..?” You asked sheepishly, reaching for a menu. For a moment, Miguel feels his heart stutter. All the confidence you just had somehow managed to seep away in his presence. The way you kept your gaze glue to the floor made him frown, biting the inside of his cheek gently. He could feel the tension rising, an awkward wall you were starting to build. For half a second, Miguel felt a twinge of panic wash over him. He looked at you, searching your body for an out, a way to make things better, to make you less afraid. He swallowed thickly, scrambling his brain to try and think of something to say to lighten the mood or even make you laugh.

“Does it look like I’ve got anyone with me?”

‘Fuck.’

It comes out flat and sarcastic, not charming or teasing as he meant for it to. He internally cringes at himself as he sees the way you retract from him.

“Oh… yeah… Sorry, sir.” You mumble out and begin to guide him to his usual spot. The broken tone of your voice feels like a punch to the gut. A twist of his innards that has him wishing he could turn back time. He’s never been this awkward or nervous before. Usually his callous behavior is intentional and pointed, but now he feels it just makes him look like an ass.

“I’ll be right back to take your order…” Soft spoken and sweet, you place the menu down and walk away. Once seated, he pinches the bridge of his nose in self frustration, squeezing his eyes shut as he lets out an annoyed sigh. He’s never been like this before, never been this much of a mess because of a woman. Usually his suave and charming nature takes over and he’s able to seduce anyone he damn well pleases, but for some unknown reason; you broke him. He groans quietly and shakes his head slowly, feeling the butterflies now pooling in his stomach.

‘Aye carajo, get a hold of yourself..’

It feels like his brain is on fire, criticizing every way the interaction went wrong. He feels his gut twist, pinching his nose with enough force that it starts to hurt and his knuckles turn white. The throbbing only continued as his frustration grew. His face practically morphs into a snarl as he sits and waits. Opening his eyes, he glares down at the menu before him, a pleather bound book with the edges peeling away. He tries to refocus his attention on literally anything else than his blundering attempt at conversation.

Miguel is left grumbling to himself when you return to his side. Silently you place a glass of ice water with a lemon wedge bobbing about the glass beside him. Fear beats quickly along side your heart as you wordlessly reach out your other hand, gently clutching a crude ice pack. It was nothing extraordinary, a little sandwich baggie filled with ice chips and wrapped loosely in paper towel. It’s placed on the table beside the water with care. Miguel eyes it for a moment. He feels his stomach twist again but this time its a different feeling. It flutters and it’s soft with smoother edges than before. His cheeks just hardly flush a soft pink as his features remain contorted into a grimace. Without turning his head more than two inches, he looks at you from the corner of his eye. Your eyes are once again glued to your feet, trembling hands reaching to the pen and notepad tucked into your apron. With your head down and your nose nearly buried to the paper of the little booklet, Miguel can’t see the heat that’s spread across your face.

“A-Are you ready to order..?” You squeak out in a voice hardly above a whisper.

Miguel swallows, clearing his throat as he lifts his head. The pink on his cheeks is beginning to darken as your gaze peers over your little notepad and into his crimson eyes. His face melts from frustration, his brows furrowing just a little as he stares back, trying to remember his words.

“No.. I.. Just the water is fine.” He manages to force out. His hands are absently pulling at the cheap white fabric tablecloth as he looks at you. He swears that if he could freeze time at this moment, he would. The way your gaze softens as you look at him, has him biting his tongue just hardly. The butterflies are flapping wildly about in his stomach. Miguel’s canines dig into the tender flesh as he tries to ground himself, distract himself from how pretty those lashes would flutter as he forced you to look up at him from your knees. Would you let him hold your face still while he pounds into you- he wonders.

Your eyes flit back down to your book and you nod your head.

“Y-Yes sir. If you need anything, j-just call for me.” You hold the little name badge pinned to your chest for him as if he hadn’t eyed it the first twelve times he came in to watch you work. With that, you turn on your heel and leave him. Scurrying to another table while Miguel is left merely watching.

The subtle throbbing beats against his head like a drum before he glances down at the icepack you brought over. It feels so tiny in his hand. He lets out a little groan as he presses the baggie to his forehead, relishing in the relief it just barely provides. He can’t help the smile halfheartedly pulling at the corners of his mouth as he sits there.

‘She really didn’t have to do that…’

But he hardly has a chance to bask in his appreciation when he hears it, just barely audible amongst the chatter.

“Aww c’mon sweet’art. I bet I could show ya a real good time.” The man drawls out, clearly drunk from the second pitcher of sangria he and his buddies were splitting. He’s got a toothy and sloshed grin spread across his face as his hand glides up the back of your thigh. You look mortified, eyes silently screaming for help.

Miguel feels his lip twitch as he rises up from his seat.

“S-Sir please stop..” You squeak out, too quiet for the pickled bastard to hear or care. His hand is pulling back, gearing up for a smack, when suddenly a wide tan palm wraps itself around his wrist. It’s grip is tight and overwhelming when Miguel yanks, nearly dragging the drunk out to the ground in the process.

“No la toques, pendejo.” Miguels spits with venom as he twists the man’s arm. The usual hum that played in your presence was washed out by his rage. No one should be allowed to touch you, especially not some wasted shithead. Gritting his teeth, Miguel has to remind himself that he’s in public. Eyes fly to watch the scene unfold. He grumbles lowly as the man cries out in pain before Miguel practically tosses him back into his seat. He scrambles, nearly falling out of his chair to get back from you and Miguel.

With parted lips, a little gasp escapes you. Miguel feels his conscience flooding in as he looks back at you. Wordlessly, he jerks his head towards the door and starts heading for the exit. His eyes are cold, commanding almost. He grumbles something out loud to Caparelli about leaving in Spanish as his grasp nearly tears the creaky little door off it’s hinges. His eyes trace over you once more before he turns his back on you and lets out a gruff, “C’mon.”

Sticking close behind, you slip out the door as he holds it open.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

The night air is warm, the remnants of the summer heatwave still staining Nueva York. It’s mostly quiet aside from the drone of car engines as they pass by. You’re silently keeping pace with Miguel, feeling your chest rattle from the whole interaction. Frightened, confused, and over in a flash. It makes you ball your hands into tight little fists, frustration quietly bubbling up in your chest. In that moment, you froze, retracting into your shell in the hopes that you could avoid confrontation all together. You’re biting back tears as they prick at the corners of your eyes. Your mind is brewing with what ifs and how badly it could’ve gone when suddenly, his voice pulls you from your thoughts. It’s low and sultry with the fleeting taste of a Spanish accent. You couldn’t really hear the words coming out of his mouth, too busy being lulled by the sound of him. You jerk your attention to him, eyeing his lips for a moment before forcing your gaze to meet his.

“Hm?” Is all you can manage.

“I said, do you live around here?” His voice cuts through, fully grounding you and bringing you back to the present.

“O-Oh.. yea. About five blocks thata way.” You tip your head to the left. “I can just walk.”

Miguel nods his head before starting to lead the way down 48th street. You open your mouth to protest his accompaniment but let the words die in your throat. Walking side by side with your head down, you could only let your thoughts wash over you again.

Miguel lumbered on the side of the concrete closest to the street, grumbling as he kept his eyes forward. Loathing boiled inside his stomach, frothing from his mouth in a string of Spanish curses and death threats.

“If I ever see that fucker again, I swear… Llevaré su piel como un abrigo.” He growled to himself, plotting and mentally preparing for the literal hell that he was going to drag that stranger through. His fists were clenched tightly at his side, burning white until he heard a soft sniffle. Pulling himself away from his thoughts, he turned his head to face you.

Your eyes were still glued to the sidewalk beneath you, tears rolling down ruddy cheeks despite how hard you tried to keep them from spilling. The quiet sounds you made were a result of the runny nose that accompanied your tears. It all just felt so overwhelming, so scary. In a moment of quiet and scarce vulnerability, you tried to be brave. But it was so so hard.

Miguel felt his heart sink in his chest. Thoughts of annihilation and revenge washed away. Softened eyes stared down at you silently as he tried to form the right words to say to you to make the pain and fear melt away. But he couldn’t. Miguel was all too aware of the fact that he lacked the necessary eloquence. It pained him to see you trying to bottle it all up. His teeth sunk into his cheek as he scrambled internally. Finally, he loosened his tightly balled fist, letting it hang limp.

Rough, large knuckles brushed up against the back of your dainty hand. The gentle ghost of a caress, hardly grazing your flesh, almost like he was afraid you’d shatter. Warmth radiated off his hand as once again, it swept across your skin, featherlight. Your head lifted, attempting to gaze up at Miguel, but by this time, he’d turned his head away from you in a shallow attempt to hide his growing blush. Whether it had been due to your tear-blurred eyes or your own volition, you stepped hardly an inch closer to the giant, a faint smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

The rest of the trek back to your shabby apartment was quiet, muted were the sounds of Miguel’s grumbling. They were drowned out by the sounds of your indistinct humming. It was nearly impossible to hear, but it was the only thing Miguel could focus on as the two of you passed through your neighborhood. Entering a large, ten-story building, Miguel was only able to remember where he was in the flickering yellow lights of the hall to your apartment door.

Standing before your apartment, he swallowed thickly. Palms sweaty and the hair on the back of his neck standing on edge as you turned your back on him to unlock the door. You looked so small, so delicate, and so fucking pretty. He felt his heart race in his chest, nearly forgetting all together the events of nearly twenty minutes ago. Right now he just wanted to come inside with you and hold you in his arms. He wanted your body pressed against his chest, lulling him to sleep in the comfort of your bed. He wondered if those sheets smelled as sweet as you did, felt as soft to the touch. He tried to wondered if he’d prefer to rest his head amongst your pillows or your thighs, but he already knew the answer.

‘Please… please let me come in cariño… let me make you feel better… let me take care of you, just for tonight…’ he prayed to himself as he watched you open the door with caution.

Doe eyes stared up at him as his lips parted to speak. Just your gaze forced him mute. Rubbing the tears from your cheeks and smiling up at him with warmth and fondness, he thought he was going to fall to his knees right then and there.

“Thank you.. I-I really appreciate everything, sir.” You said gently, hardly above a whisper. It made Miguel savor your voice. The way it made his brain tingle and swim felt better than any liquor he’s ever had. He wanted to hear more of you, but more than anything he wanted to hear you say his name.

“It was no trouble at all. But please chula, from now on just call me Miguel…” He tried to offer the same warm smile you did but could hardly manage anything more than a sweet little smirk. Despite his expression though, you could see the light in his eyes. It was dull and flickering, but it was there, growing. You nodded your head and gave an airy half chuckle.

“Heh okay… Well then, good night… Miguel.” You spoke in the sweetest tone you could manage. Miguel felt a shiver travel down his spine. His cheeks flushed lightly and he swore he could feel his heart pounding behind his eyes. The way his name fell from your tongue made him weak and practically feral. For a moment he considered sweeping you off your feet and fucking you into the couch just so he could hear you say his name like that again. But instead he stood there, attempting to bite back his animalistic urges with his canines as you began to slip into your apartment. The door gently closed as he watched, standing there and thinking about all the ways he’d make you scream his name.

He tries to shake the thought loose but can’t. He can’t stop thinking about how sweet and obedient you’d be. How much you make his heart flutter and how crazy it drives him. Miguel feels a stirring in his chest, a queasiness that makes him feel sick for a moment as reality strolls back in. The fires of rage being stoked once more in your absence as he remembers what brought him to your apartment in the first place.

He can practically already taste blood on his tongue when he recalls the drunk from the restaurant. How terrified he made you, how something worse could’ve happened had Miguel not’ve been there. Through the haze of his anger he makes a decision, you’ll never be without protection again. He’ll always make sure you’re safe, constantly under the watchful eye of the family. Fuck if he could, he’d guard you himself, day and night.

No matter what or how, he’d keep you safe from the scum that roamed this city. He wouldn’t let the only pure thing in his life be tainted or taken away. Not again. God forbid anything did happen to you, Miguel would have to burn the whole city to the ground.

From that day forth, whenever he couldn’t watch over you himself Miguel would have one of his Spider’s watching over you. Jess or Ben would be the one’s usually sitting in an unmarked vehicle outside of Bellagino’s, stalking in the shadows to make sure you got home safe, reporting back to Miguel as he worked.

For a short while it satisfied him. That is until one night Jess reported she saw you opening the door for some friends, ushering them inside with glee as they carried bottles of wine and board games. Jess tried to explain it was fine, beyond normal even. But Miguel didn’t care. In fact he’d stopped listening to her the moment she said there was a man amongst the group of 4 that were permitted entry. Who the fuck was he? Why did he get to be so close to you? Jealousy washed over him, filling him to the brim.

‘It’s just for her protection…’ that’s what he told himself. Over and over again. Even when he had Peter install the little devices inside your house, while you were off at work. Miguel felt a tinge of guilt, sitting and watching you work with a smile on your face from his table. Meanwhile hidden surveillance cameras were being put in your bedroom, your kitchen, your bathroom, and your living room. It ate at him a little that he worried so much. But how could he not? He couldn’t let anything bad happen to you. This was for your safety, he knew better than to let you out of his sight. The last time he wasn’t watching carefully enough, it cost him… her.

No. He wouldn’t bury another person he cared about. Not when he had the power to do something about it this time. Not when you just started to warm up to him. You finally started to look him in the eye when he sat down at his usual spot. You finally started to smile at him and bless him with that angelic laugh. You started to loosen up and even stop and chat for a few minutes. Once on your break, you just sat and talked to him for the whole thirty minutes, telling him about your day and terrible jokes you thought he might like. All just to see him smile and laugh back at you. He couldn’t just let you slip away. Not when he knew what he’d do if he lost you.

As little as you knew it, you were holding his shattering mind together, keeping him from falling apart. If only you understood how much he needed you.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Time never stops. It marches on, dragging the corpse of yesterday behind it. Time never ceases and neither does the on going beating of hearts and whispers of hope that pray for a better tomorrow. With time came its companion, decay. A mysterious creature that made room in the world for new hope and potential. Miguel didn’t always enjoy time’s passage, nor did he adore it’s companion decay. But with the two, a third party marched, carrying a flag of promise and beauty. With time and decay, tread growth. A glorious and shining ray for tomorrow, growth lit a path for time, giving way for hope.

Everyday that he saw your glowing face, he could feel his heart beating and mending, little by little.

But Miguel was patient, slowly learning to accept time and the company it kept. He knew to bide his time and earn your trust. He knew that with time, you’d be his.

Taglist

@whisperwispxx @eatally @moonvoidpng @unicornbabygremlin @chshiresins @iloveyouall234-blog @amber-content

#across the spiderverse #mafia #mafia au #miguel o'hara #miguel smut #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel x you #yandere!miguel o’hara #stalker!miguel #stalker

[tired-biscuit]

thank u for the clarification!!

(reader is 18+) (innocent reader)

Stepdad!Kiba who cries with you at your mother’s funeral, Holding you close to his warm chest as tears stream down your face and onto his shirt. (Cries, But just a way of making sure his image isn’t affected❤️)

Stepdad!Kiba who moves you guys out to the countryside, A cozy little cabin, Far from any other people, Nearest farmer’s market is 50 minutes away by foot, Your room is also conveniently without an A/C, Oh well, You have your daddy to keep you warm <3

Stepdad!Kiba who makes breakfast in nothing but a pair of boxers, Every muscle and scar just right there, Kisses your forehead roughly and pulls you uncomfortably close, Chest to chest.

Stepdad!Kiba who takes up drinking as a hobby, Holds you close and tells you stories from when he was younger, Whiskey on his breath having an effect that it shouldn’t have on you.. <3

~~NSFW~~

Stepdad!Kiba who makes you help unpack, Box after box until you find his box of.. fleshlights, All of them are extra large and look very, very worn, Chuckles at you when you shove them into his arms and ask what they are, “Y’know, I’d really prefer to give a live demonstration.”

Stepdad!Kiba who secretly starts throwing your clothes away, Acting clueless when all you have left is some lingerie you didn’t even know you had, Gives you some of his old t-shirts, Fucks his fist raw to the thought of you roaming around in his shirt and with easy access to your pussy. <3

Stepdad!Kiba who starts walking around naked, His greek god body and cock all out to see, Who’s excuse is that he’s the man of the house, All he needs is a woman. (soon to be you.)

—————————————————————-

AHAHAHAHAHGSGSSGSGSGSG im sorry im no good with fully-fleged smut scenes :(

cw: stepcest // fem!reader, 18+ mdni

OH MY GODDDDD ANON, HE'S SO FUCKED UP I LOVE THE DIRECTION YOU PICKED; I COULD KISS U RN U DID PERFECT

if anything gets me going, it's age gap AND corruption with this mf. i just know he'd use you completely the moment he'd manipulate you into things you're not completely sure about, because he's one fuckin greedy bastard. but he's the authoritative figure, too, right? he knows what's best for you, surely he does?

you're thinking he's doing what's best for you, when all he can think about is ruining your young, inexperienced body and taking complete control over your equally as young, inexperienced life.

he doesn't let you bring any boys to the house; he says he's just keeping you from getting hurt because they all want one thing, and it's most definitely not theirs to have when he's around. so protective; your big, strong stepdaddy is even nice enough to watch over you through the night by making you share a bed with him and keeping you firmly wrapped in his tight embrace, no matter that all of your clothes are discarded on the floor because of how hot the summer nights can get.

if you behave, he even whispers into your ear; lips touching your earlobe and occasionally dipping to that sweetspot on your neck that makes you want to whine and squirm as he tells you all about his day he never brings you along to experience.

but no matter, what's important is that he just makes you feel so good. always pampers you and spoils you, runs his fingers through your hair and calls you sweet pet names you physically preen at. feeds off of the tension he brings between you. pushes the limits of moral reasoning.

especially when you decide to be a good girl for him and end up sinking to your knees and taking his fat cock down your throat when he comes home tired from work and needs something to cheer him up so, so bad.

but he's insatiable, so he decides that he's gonna make you his fully. some first time, sort of lousy bj isn't enough, no matter how cute you look with your mouth stuffed full of his cock. he needs to see you cry from how big he feels in your tiny, soft virgin cunt to be truly satisfied. to hear you squeal out his name, at which he demands that you call him daddy instead because he's just that. your daddy.

and you do, ofc. you do anything your daddy demands of you (he asks so nicely after all, even tho he's already manhandling you into position even before receiving an answer.)

if he's always there for you, the least you can do is be there for him <3

ALSO NOT HIM FUCKING HIS FIST AFTER SEEING US IN HIS CLOTHES, I WILL GO INSANE FROM HOW HOT HE IS BYE

#cw: stepcest #biscuit drabbles #kiba x reader #kiba smut

[volivolition]

hello we return to ramble about music because music is one of our biggest hyperfixations ever. hai [Do let us know if you're ever tired of us sharing music though Shauaiakdjcjsjdfj]

Do you have a favourite song? A favourite band or musician? PLEASE do share if so, we're always looking for new music especially from friends!!

We have!!! song reccs for you :] Song for the Dead and Song for the Deaf, both by Queens of the Stone Age! Both songs are very red to us [we have synesthesia] and they remind us collectively of Phys Instrument and I!

-PT

HAI HELLO!! my music friends the furies!! (hjfkjh dont worry, i love hearing from you!! :D <33)

2. ooh, thank you PT, i was just listening to Song for the Dead on the subway the other day, it sounded so cool!! i assumed it was a Physique vibe, but so cool to hear who exactly :D im listening to Song for the Deaf now, just really good guitar for both of these songs, the words are sung more lyrical in this one :0 the ending is amusing, just silence and then laughing to the instrumental hdkjh <3 extremely red vibes, you're so right for this <3 thank you for sharing the PT and Fizzy songs :D <33

1. oh god i have to put this under a cut. tl;dr: my current favorite song is Too Sweet by Hozier because it reminds me of Voli and Chemi :]!!

hgkjh did you know my bio used to say "i can relate any hozier song to disco elysium"? the statement is hyperbole, but i love hozier so fuckin much heres just a bunch of nonsense:

"Too Sweet" is a volistry song. to me. ("I take my whiskey neat~" "My coffee black and my bed at three...") echem thinks voli's too uptight ("You keep telling me to live right / to go to bed before the daylight... / but then you wake up for the sunrise... / don't you just want to wake up... / lost in a haze?") and voli thinks echem is too hedonistic ("If you're drunk on life-" "Babe, I think it's great~" "But while in this world... / I aim low / I aim true and the ground's where I go / I work late where I'm free from the phone / And the job gets done / But you worry some, I know.") and in this way they're "too sweet (morally/indulgently)" for each other, but they fall in love around the "You know, you're bright as the morning, soft as the rain" "Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape" mark because they start to balance each other out so they're not overworking/refusing all joy and not giving in to every temptation/dangerously ignoring health and responsibility for dopamine and they're GOOD FOR EACH OTHER... im. not normal about them ever i could write essays about them :'] (also the bells in the chorus just hit different i love that shit man...)

i've been meaning to draw Echem with the song "Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene" just for the title alone lmao... but it's absolutely a bop and i enjoy it :]

"Jackie and Wilson" is TRULY LIKE. IS ANYONE SEEING THIS. "Cut clean from the dream at night / let my mind reset / Looking up from a cigarette and he's already left" "He'll know me crazy, soothe me daily, better yet, he wouldn't care / We'll steal his Lexus / be detectives / ride 'round picking up clues" IS ANYONE ELSE HEARING THIS THAT'S FUCKING HARRY AND KIM. HELLO??

my other alternate bio used to read "From Eden is such a de song. if you even care" i need everyone to listen to this and tell me its not a disco elysium song ogughgjkh!!! "Honey, you're familiar / Like my mirror years ago" "Innocence died screaming" "A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree" HOZIER MY MAN YOU DID IT BUDDY THAT'S THE GAME!!!

i can perfectly imagine which skill is singing which line to harry in "Almost (Sweet Music)" as he gets over dora and falls in love with kim. imagine them smoking on the balcony together while the skills swirl around them, invisible to kim but nudging harry and each other.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Let's get lost and let the good times roll! SAVOIR FAIRE [Medium: Success] - Let's smoke rings from this paper, doll~ SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Blow sweet and thick 'til every thought of it don't mean a thing. PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - I got some color back. EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He thinks so too... INLAND EMPIRE [Formidable: Success] - I laugh like me again... She laughs like you. RHETORIC [Legendary: Failure] - I wouldn't know where to start... PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] - Sweet music playing in the dark. VOLITION [Godly: Success] - *Be still*, my foolish heart- COMPOSURE [Challenging: Success] - Don't ruin this on me...

"First Time" is harry and dora ("the first time that you kissed me / i drank dry the river lethe" YOU MEAN THE GREEK RIVER THAT MAKES YOU FORGET EVERYTHING HOZIER???), "Eat Your Young" is truly a Disco Elysium vibe song of political ideology, do i even have to mention "Take Me to Church" for the idolization of Dora? and "Like Real People Do" [just straight up starts sobbing on the floor.] when the... the two people with similarly sad pasts learn to grow and heal together... we should just kiss like real people do... fucking hell man...

i also like!! AJR (current fave: Inertia [waltz time my adored]), The Oh Hellos (Hieroglyphs [the beat! the melody! the lyrics! singing together! ough my love... i miss choir]), The Altogether (See The Day [makes me cry. volition song i think]), American Authors (Luck [longtime favorite]), and Ricky Montgomery (currently it's Cabo but god this man's got bops. This December. Line Without a Hook. Get Used to It. Snow [<- desaturated blue song]. My Heart is Buried in Venice. okay thats it i promise hdkjh)

#volta transmissions #chemi chats #[hands you 19 songs with excessive commentary and. disappears under mysterious circumstances. :)] #hgjkgh just kidding thank you for asking I CHERISH YOU!!!! #suggestion recommendation

[emmythespacecowgirl]

I just found your content and I love it! Wondering if you could please do a pacific ship for me? I am female, she/her pronouns, interested in men.

I'm really strong-willed and opinionated, and not too afraid to tell people. I am very caring and can be emotional at times, especially when it comes to the people I care about. But otherwise I'm blunt and have really dry humor. I can be really stubborn and a lot of times awkward around new people as I'm a bit more on the introverted side. I tend to either not care at all or care too much when it comes to people.

I enjoy writing, hiking, gardening, and in general being out in nature. I'm a very homestead minded person and enjoy learning how to do things for myself, like how to crochet or grow a vegetable or raise chickens. That is, when I have time for it. Otherwise, I work as a nurse, and I enjoy the aspect of helping others when they need it the most.

I am 5'3" tall, curvy to chubby body with an hourglass figure. I've got pale skin with light freckles all over the place. Long, straight dark brown hair and dark brown/green eyes. Full lips, fuller face, just a more romantic body type in general. I tend to dress in baggier clothes as I am a bit insecure about my weight and especially my arms. I am working on losing weight but it's definitely a long process.

My personality type is INFJ. My biggest pet peeves are people who don't pull their weight when it comes to helping others and also chewing food really loud. My love language is physical touch, with a healthy sprinkling of words of affirmation. I am an August Virgo (don't know my other two signs, but that's my main one). I am also a proud Slytherin.

Thank you so much!!

Hi dear! Sorry for your wait! I’ve been extremely busy living life the past couple months 😊

I ship you with: John Basilone from The Pacific

Ship theme song: Marry Me, Archie by Alvvays

I could easily see you two meeting at a training hospital for nurses in California while John is training up recruits

He seems you and is immediately stunned by your beauty

He thinks your curves are so fuckin hot

He makes a pass at you and you don’t really seem to care at first

Until the second time when he formally asks you out

And then you take it seriously (even if you were pretending not to be a bundle of nerves)

Your personality types definitely seem compatible

I would imagine that John is either ENTJ or ESTJ

So that balances out your introverted tendencies and your feeling function

As he gets to know you better, he falls fast for your strong-willed personality and your opinionated takes

That being said, he also loves your soft and tender side as well

It inspires him to be more gentle in dealing with personal matters

He loves to kiss your sweet soft lips

He could do it all day long if you let him

He hates when people bullshit and waste time with flowery words

Which is why he loves your bluntness and dry humor

He knows you tend to be introverted and that dealing with people initially can be tough for you

So he apologizes profusely when you first meet him big Italian family

(Im Italian too and I would also apologize lmao)

He’s really good for you because he knows how to show you how to not give a fuck what other people think about you

You can teach him how to truly appreciate nature and all it’s natural beauty

He’s always wanted to try to grow a windowsill pot of oregano

Just like his Nonna did

You are able to show him how

And he is forever grateful

He really admires your pioneering personality

Like you, this man is very much a slytherin

Try to convince me otherwise

(You won’t ;) )

#ships #tumblr besties #<3 #enjoy! #the pacific #the pacific ships #john basilone

[mvalentine]

SPEAKING OF MIDNIGHTS, WHAT'S UR RANKING BESTIE? 👀💙

ALYA 💘

so im not going to lie to you i have only heard the first 7 tracks so far hsjsks i need to listen to the whole thing! but here’s my ranking for those <3:

1. maroon (it’s such a lyrically visual song and it’s just personally very relatable to me also i just love the use of reds in all her writing from red to scarlet to burgundy to maroon— oh oh and that line about the carnations and roses hello?)

2. you’re on your own kid (just hits a little too close to home :) also it reminds me of jess x rory and UGH)

3. midnight rain (once again just hits a little too close to home :) broke his heart cause he was nice are you kidding me. also the last lines about her only thinking about him on midnights like this it’s just so relatable cause it’s like in life you’re happy and you’ve moved on but there are just those nights where you contemplate all your life choices and just think about where you would be if you hadn’t made that one single choice how different the trajectory about your life would be)

4. anti-hero: do i even need to explain? it’s me hi im the problem it’s me!! also the line about vices and crisis and being left to your own devices oof! and when she talked about her depression working the graveyard shifts like ouch? why the call out bestie.

5. snow on the beach — sonically it’s just so fuckin stunning!! the way her voice lilts at the end of every sentence it’s gorgeous! and just the softness of falling in love it just personifies that feeling so so well.

6. lavender haze — this one is truly growing on me so so much. the beat is so good and it lowkey reminds me of drake x mc and that just makes me like it so much more.

7. question….? — i like it but it’s definitely not one of my favs!! but who knows watch this become my fav in like two weeks lol. the lyrics are very jess x rory so there is that!

#alya 💘 #need to listen to the rest i always do this with albums hsjsks #asks

[tootyfruities]

answering earlier than expected bc of a random burst of energy? couldn’t be me 🤭 nah but i actually feel kinda sad™️ rn and u make me feel better so here i am 🤞but OMGKEJFJWBFHE WHERE DO I EVEN BEGINNNNN

youcore fr bc you’re so smart and cool bae ugh your mind is everything OMGMGMGMM you got me wanting to jump through the screen to gently hold shin but also gently hold you bc KDNSJDDKDN the storyline fits so well and like,,,, suits him if that makes sense???? i’m absolutely HERE for this letter writing arc and im so fuckin excited you have no idea <3 <3 <3 (might inspire to make more playlists too, just for u <3) even despite all this, I can still feel his dorky and soft self and I JUST

there’s this cute comic from @/loweater of toshi using asl w bakugou and eri and if i can find it i’ll tag you :) OH and his dad being his therapist and all the other details about his family wE LOVE TO SEE IT 🗣🗣🗣 (this moreso relates back to the blog which we’re gonna get into- but i remember you writing abt his (3?)pet cats so just a little idea there for u :>)

last thing darling!! please please please don’t feel pressured to reopen that blog or talk to me constantly. getting a little more personal in 3, 2, 1~ for the longest time when u took your hiatus, i felt so bad and guilty bc I thought I was the reason and I took so much of your time and energy and I admit and apologize for being way more emotionally dependent than I should’ve been. things have changed now and im doing a lot better! i love and care for u vv much so pls don’t beat yourself up over it ok <3

wait no sorry THIS is the last thing I swear 😭 i was actually gonna msg u a couple days ago bc i actually had a dream abt the voicemail thing- long story short,,,,, i think i called shin back the next day, we said hello and i unexpectedly (to him anyway) asked him a question abt his new pet fish…??? OK before u think i’m crazy;;; i think it was smth that he had rambled abt in the voicemail and i was asking abt it just to talk and exist freely before getting into the Other Much Needed To Be Discussed Topics.

okay i went like way overboard im sorry 💀 ily forever my darling mwah <3

I NEVER GOT THE NOTIFICATION FOR THIS IM SO SAD :(

UHM 1) i hope you're ok w me answering this publicly w the more personal info shared, if not lemme know and i will, idk delete this post? that being said! between my own terrible unmotivation and personal issues, plus yes maybe a little bit with the emotional dependence, it just felt hard to keep up with the blog. but you were never, ever ever ever, a Big Bad in my life, never. overwhelming sometimes, yeah(BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR IT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW, OUR FLAWS MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER). but when i made the decision to close the blog it was not "riri makes things hard :(" it was, "things are hard and i gotta focus on myself :(". i appreciate and abs accept your apology though you are so cool and i am so so happy knowing that you're doing better <3

a bit of an extension on that;; i'm still deciding whether i wanna reopen the blog tbh. i've got a couple wips on there that i meant to finish but never did, plus small storylines i wanted to pursue thru shin's blogs that i can't exactly emulate thru I Am An Author Writing a Thing when it should be This Is A Guy Writing Stuff On His Tumblr Blog. plus publicly posting my writing is so rewarding to me :}

2) PLEASE DO JUMP THRU THE SCREEN and gently hold me n shin - woahoah we would both love that methinks. grrrr. i love you so much riri. no amount of poetic words can convey how much i love and adore you TRULY. you are a light in my life, i am happy and ready to have room in my life for you again :) <3

3) YOU DREAMED ABT IT AJFNNE. shin getting a fish... that would def clash with his, yes, 3 kitty cats. but also a calm pet that doesn't require love and affection? holy crap i shoulda considered it, that'd be way fitting for them,,, if not for the fact that fish are Slimy and shin likes Fluffy. in an alternate world where cats hadn't already stolen their heart, i can easily imagine shin getting into fish and maybe even lizards. he's got the range~

idk if i'm exactly gonna write what was said in the voicemail cos i wanted to leave that up to your interpretation, and tbh i'm GLAD for that cos your interpretation is great. muahaha

ilyilyily going to check out the mecore link now muah <3

#riri tag omg

[hxlcyon]

orv future rambled worries below (spoilers ish?)

i'm... SO NERVOUS TO REACH THE END OF THIS STORY LIKE... I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE EPILOGUE BUT EVERYONE SEEMS REALLY EMO OVER IT AND I??? like. i found an ost made by mz (MY BELOVED) and the epilogue sounds so soft so you know it's about to be some ugly sobbing YEARS and. and. i found another playlist and whoops looked at the first comment that was like: yoo jonghyuk still misses kim dokja

which, flash cut to me rn: absolutely incomprehensible on the ground. throwing up. passionately and loudly dry heaving

I HAVE.... SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM...... LIKE WENT TO BED AT 6 AM GOING APESHIT....... UGH.. OOGH... FR.. FR...

see. if. if. if it becomes something like kdj like being satisfied and erased from the story as a whole as a truly "omniscient" being or something similar or etc. i think. i will simply throw up and be unable to handle that because i am too emotionally invested in this soaping wet self-sacrificing man

like the development of kdj as someone who's immersed and whose life revolves around a story because he loves it. he does. but growing to the point where he's begun to love the characters in the story too??? the detail of him becoming so much smaller without his stories and his guilt over a world that he adores, existing, and his efforts to save it makes me go CRAZY

LIKE.... THAT LINE... THAT LINE OF

"Tell me that I did good until now - whether I made the wrong choices or not, whether I would get to see the desired conclusion when I reach the end of this story or not."

I... I CAN'T BEGIN TO BEGIN HOW MUCH THIS MAKES ME... JGMH...........

and oh god if the author does. fuckin. uses word play to make the epilogue follow kim dokja's name of just: "Kim Dok-Ja didn't exist" because iirc one of the letters of his name means empty or one? so. if. if that is... is already a prediction... yes that is good writing and absolutely tracks and would be everything this story was and should be

but also for the love of god please don't break me please don't be sad sad please don't disappear kdj

also. yoo sangah is dead and i can't forgive that mf im isekai'ing myself and sorry for the arcs but im gonna sacrifice ur mom kdj for her because cmon yoo sangah deserves better

#ammy liveblogs the orv clown show #this is just my emotional rambling HAHA

[rinamars]

this is so random but I thought of the snippet from next chapter and tbh I'm such a whore for dadwin like i want all about that domestic life, pregnancy to birth to early childhood I'm such a fucking simp for soft spouse/dad win so yeah go him and go you too im just ugh i fucking love this dude and i fckn love u

THIS MADE MY WHOLE ENTIRE DAY OK

if you feel that way (which, trust me, same) i think you will really like the epilogue(s) because, well 👀 at first the epilogue was going to be 1 chapter, but i split it into 2 because i know that for some people pregnancy is something that ruins a fic, and i want to give people the opportunity to stop riding at their "right time".

buuuut heheh if you actually want to read about that, i really hope i will do a good job!! i feel exactly the same way and i really want to convey all of those feelings. i truly think that erwin would be a great husband and an even greater dad, and i can't wait to write about it :') and even once the story ends i might just keep writing side stories and stuff, most likely. i just know i won't be able to let stbn go lmao

if you ever get random thoughts again do not hesitate to send them in because i LOVE hearing them!! i fuckin love you too <3

#msg

[pepprs]

damn i know next 2 nothing abt Bideo Ganes but i jus discovered what wattam is and i rly want to play it now i mean.... who wouldn’t wanna play a game like this

#THEYRE SO CUTE THEYRE JUS... BEING FRIENDS AND HOLDING HANDS AND IM TRULY HERE 4 IT #i love games lkke that u kno? like i get why ppl like stuff like... overwatxh n tlou and stuff but. im so much more drawn 2 games like this #that r soft n simple n friendly like that. likr ok another GREAT example is. wipes tears from my eyes. ilomilo #that game was my ENTIRE life freshman yr of hs i still love it 2 this day its so soft n gentle n pleasant #and i miss games like that u kno? i dont rky get a lot of enjoument from mobile games bc theyre so brief n Lite n whatever but. ilomilo is #jus a really good fuckin game. theres so much lore too like u wouldnt think that looking @ it but... there is and its Beautiful #purrs #sorry 4 yellin abt it but. i saw a post abt this game an dhad 2 say smth bc i dont have a uhhhh ps4 and never will probably and also #im broke as fuck apparently!!!!! but i rly want 2 support this game b others like it u kno

[brandnewhuman]

You're favorite angst boy

Pairings: bo sinclair x gn!reader

Tw: emotional abuse, hints of depersonalization, toxic relationships, mention of blood and injuries, angst, mature language. And there's probably more that I didn't notice so please be careful

Summary: There's only so much someone can take before breaking down. Bo always had a talent in taking people to their breaking point, only this time he did it to the only person he shouldn't have

A/N: I've been trying to write something but everytime I do everything feels cringy and stupid lol. First time writing bo and im sure he's going to be ooc but I tried to do my best. I've been at the verge of tears almost three times this week trying to write something that doesn't look like a fucking dumpster on fire.

Ps: english is not my first language and god thought it would be funny to give me dyslexia too, so im fighting for my life to make my only two working brain cells use proper grammar. Please be nice or I will cry

Not proofread

You've now been living for a year with the Sinclair twins and during this time you've managed to see about every side of Bo Sinclair. He was...something really, since being here you've rarely had a boring day. Best way to describe him and his moods is to compare him to the weather, at cost of sounding a little bit cliché. He always feels too much all together and no one has ever gave him a healthy way to deal with that. If Bo would've been good at communicating his feelings he would describe it as a big wave coming for him, every time he manages to get to the surface and stand up the wave drags him down and drowns him. Unlike Vincent, who seemed to struggled with the opposite sometimes, Bo's temper and emotions were always difficult to deal with, for him and for everyone around him.

You never had it in you to give him a hard time for the bad things he says when he gets angry. At the end of the day those were only words said in the heat of the moment, you knew that he would eventually feel as much guilty as you feel hurt. The lows with him are really fuckin low but the highs...those highs are enough for you, cause no matter what you know that the real Bo is never going to be the one that comes out during the bad times.

Even now after being harshly pushed away again before attempting one last time to tend the wound on his side you kept your patience. He was already in a bad mood to begin with and now that a victim has managed to hurt him is even worse.

"For God's sake Bo! Stop pushing me away!! Im trying to help you!!" You shouted sounding more annoyed than what you intended. You were still holding in your hands the wet cloth with which you intended to clean the wound.

"I don't recall asking for you fucking help. Why don't you make yourself truly useful by fucking off of my face uh?!" He snapped at you while painfully gripping your wrist before you could try to help him again, just to roughly shove you once again away from him.

He leaned against the kitchen counter using one hand for support and clutching the other on his side. His forehead was full of cold sweat, his face getting more pale as blood kept dripping through his fingers. Even breathing was painful as he felt his skin tingle from pain. When he was sure his legs were steady enough to walk he took a few steps towards you, snatching the cloth from your hands and before exit the kitchen giving you a death glare when you started to trailing after him.

With a grunt he lowered himself slowly to seat on one of the armchairs in the living room. With shaky hands he began putting pressure on the wound, tilting his head back and hissing from the pain.

"Why do you always have to be so difficult?... i know you're upset but you're taking it too far" you forced yourself to keep a more soft tone while you lowered yourself in front on him, using his knees to keep you from losing balance. You're gaze full of concern as you watched him run his fingers through his hair.

He can't exactly say if it is the sentence or the already feeling of annoyance at your never insistence but he can't stop the anger bubbling up from his core. Lately both of you are always fighting (more like Bo getting worked up about something and then proceeds to take it out on you, snapping and saying the most hurtful shit he can think of)

You have never once been any less patient or gentle than usual but he could see the look in your eyes everytime. That loving and understanding gaze you always held for him was being tinted by a light shadow of pain from each word he snarled at you in the heat of the moment. You were wilting away under his eyes and he didn't knew what to do to stop it. You were so happy when you first came into his life, even after knowing what he and Vincent really were. He knew it was all his fault but he couldn't help it, he was always so angry but couldn't get himself to try to talk about it.

For a while you seemed to understand that and you actually saw through his though act but he kept making it harder for you to do so when saying certain things that he just knew were plain cruel. He really was being a monster, as his parent would say. He was being a monster with the only person, outside of his family, that was willing to put up with his bullshit. He saw too how lately you've been spending more time with Vincent, letting him dry your tears while saying sorry from his brother's behalf since you certainly wouldn't be listening it from Bo himself.

He was trying so hard to be good but he knew you've started to see it too; how Vincent was better than him, how easier and happier days felt when spent with someone so much more gentle and calm.

He couldn't lie to himself saying it was your fault. It was his, it has always been. He felt overwhelmed by your unconditional love, it was too much and too good. The thought of getting used to it, to take it and accepte that it was really for him felt simply wrong. It scared him to think how painful it would be if one day you were to snatch it away from him forever. He's always been one to get his head overworked with negative thoughts, sabotaging everything nice he has going for himself before something or someone does it for him. Not one single day pass by without Bo remind himself that he's not like Vincent who creates and has it within himself to build good things, that he was always meant to be destructive and toxic to anything around him.

So when he hears you voice the same sentence that his parents have told him countless time in a much ruthless tone, he just freaks out. Letting his temper get the better of him.

He gets up suddenly ignoring the pain and making you lose balance, watching you as try to steady yourself before getting up too while holding his gaze.

"You sure talk too much for someone who is not that fucking important to keep around uh" his voice was harsh and cold, his words making their way to your heart despite your efforts in don't get hurt by them.

"You act like you're suddenly part of the damn family. Like you give a actual fuck about us and you're not just trying to keep yourself alive." He paused for a moment seeing the corners of your eyes getting full of tears.

"You know that's not true...I care about you, Lester and Vin-" You're voice was almost a whisper before he cuts you off "yeah, I've seen how care for Vincent. Maybe he's too fucking stupid to actually see what you're doing but I'm not." When you finally left the tears run down across your cheeks he scoffed seemingly annoyed by your reaction. He turned your back at you just to stop the strong feeling of guilt that was starting to burn in his chest.

"You're so fuckin annoying, always complaining and fucking crying. You're lucky that i can tolerate you enough to fuck sometimes otherwise you wouldn't even be here so cut it with your caring partner bullshit. Save it for that freak you always run to when you're upset" he clenched his jaw, accepting the rage that made his words more poisonous instead of thinking about how much damage he was making.

As you listened to every word he said you felt your stomach twist in pain while your throat closed trying to hold back violent sobs, making breathing extra harder. Everything that could've possibly feel pain in your body was hurting right now, you've never thought you would say it but you wished he had hit you instead of this.

It's certainly not the worst fight the two of you ever had and this is not the first time he tries to make you question his care for you. But the way he said everything, so calm as if he was just saying something normal and acceptable, was what put you off. It was like feeling your whole heart being punched over and over and in your mind there was an echo of his voice repeating what he just said. You felt time froze around you, your own being detached from yourself to observe from outside your shaking body tried to process all those intense feelings you were experiencing. Your face was now pale and a empty expression was plastered all over it, matching perfectly with how dull your eyes looked with fat tears rolling out of them. In your own bubble of pain you didn't even noticed that Bo had left and that you were just standing as if you just turned too into a wax figure. In your mind your inner voice was begging you to just leave or at least move, trying to bring you back just enough to at least remove yourself from the living room. Your legs started to move on their own with your brain, in a act of self-preservation, giving instructions of a detailed plan to execute that you didn't really need to approve nor know to get it done. You went to your room, not the one you occasionally shared with Bo but the own where you kept all your belongings, closing the door behind you. Without even realising you've already packed most of your things (which weren't much to begin with).

You forced yourself to be as quiet as you could when getting out of the house after taking Bo's keys. He was going to get really mad when he'd realise that his truck was missing but you thought that maybe it wouldn't matter so much after finding out you were gone too. Only when you were already a good distance away from Ambrose you started to get the realisation of you've decided to do and how incredibly lucky you have been in actually succeeding.

Everytime guilt tried to claw your heart, making you think of possibles scenarios with a heartbroken Bo finding out you left, your mind reminded you of what not only he has said tonight but what he has done to you all this time too. You loved him so much that you were blinded by it, you didn't even noticed how even the nice days with him were somehow painful. You've tried so hard to do everything you've could for him, tried to turn yourself into something he could love more comfortably, did and said everything you've could imagine of to get to his heart but it wasn't enough. You were sure he loved you, that's about the only thing you would never doubt. But the reality of it is that it's not enough, love is not always enough. Him loving you and you loving him was not going to change anything, cause Bo doesn't knows how to love something without hurting it. He doesn't do it on purpose it's just the way he is and you could see how much pain that fact was causing him but in the end he was dragging you down with him.

You couldn't take it anymore cause you knew that if you stayed you would've ended up hating him and that's something you were not going to be okay with. You wanted to keep seeing him as someone flawed but lovable, you didn't want to start seeing him as the monster everyone thought of him. The only way to do that is to remove yourself now and make up a less painful reason as why you've left him.

It's safe to say that he knew he fucked up from the moment he left you alone in the living room after what was probably one of the most vile things he could've said to you. He knew it so well in fact that the guilt was eating him alive. The nauseating feeling was twisting his insides and clutching his heart painfully. It was ten times worse than anything he had ever felt, making him even forget about his wound. As soon as he reached his bedroom his legs gave up forcing him to kneel down. He felt his head spinning and the walls of the room closing on him while he clutched his chest trying to get some air inside his lungs.

He knew he fucked up and he was scared, for once he had no idea of what to do. He felt and impending feeling that something terribly bad was going to happen after today's fight. He prayed, for the first time in his life, that this was just another stupid fight, that he would have the opportunity to make things right with you.

Please, I know that I have no fucking right to ask this but they are the only nice thing I've ever cared for... if you let me I will do better. I will, I fuckin will please..

He couldn't stop the ugly sobs that started to shake his core. He shutted his eyes closed, trying to keep the tears at bay but failing. Little did he knew that this was definitely going to be their last fight, and in general the last thing they've do together.

Everything ended how it started, violently wrong.

#slasher community #slasher fandom #slashers #bo sinclair #horror movies #slasher fanfiction #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair fanfic #slasher x reader #slasher imagines #brian van holt #house of wax #house of wax fanfic

[iloveart06]

Whoopsies  Chris Evans x Male Reader

Gif Not Mine

“Here we are with Actor Chris Evans and M/N M/L/N, gentleman how are we doing?” The interviewer asks. The two men smiled, showing off their charming appearance off. “So here we are, tell us what kind of characters you play in the film?” 

With a straight posture and face, Chris began-

”Lloyd is CIA agent, sort of the villain of the movie and he is very demanding, sarcastic kind of guy, always wants to get the work done no matter what even if it has to be done in sinister way” The Bostonian man finished with a small smile around his lips, turning to M/N. “My character is the brains of the movie, he helps out Court, played by our bestie Ryan Gosling,” He giggles, “Yea they are a team, my character helps Court who is being hunted down by Lloyd.” 

“Now in the film you both are enemies. Put in real life, you both are lovers. How did it feel to do fighting scenes with each other?” The interviewer asked. Small Chuckles fill the room. “Me and Chris are very serious when it comes to acting and doing those scenes was really fun especially since I got to do it with him.” 

“And who always win?” 

“Why me of course” Chris playfully exclaimed.  “

“Of course you do, bet ’chu know how to manhandle Mr. M/N/L very well in bed too, turn him into your submissive boy.” Chuckled the interviewer. 

The room went silent with the interviewer turning to the next question while Chris kept on smiling. While M/N felt his body turn hot and red with anger, his veins popping a bit to much in his arms as his knuckles went white from gripping onto the chair. He waits for Chris to say something, surely,  he will...

-Some time later-

Slamming the door as soon as he entered their apartment, the door opens to an annoyed Chris going after M/N who just slapped the door right in his face. “The hell is your problem?” The Bostonian man asked, unbuttoning a few buttons of his shirt. M/N doesn’t answer instead rushes to the bathroom, slamming the door once again. Sighing, Chris walks up to the door, hand reaching for the doorknob all for it to be lock. “M/N are you serious right now? Stop acting like a fuckin-”

The door swings open, the young male’s brows knit together with the glare he gave. “Are you being fucking serious right now? Are you really asking me why Im acting like a bitch?” “I never said bitch. But you are being one right now, especially ignoring me...What’s up with you huh? Since the car ride home you’ve been acting like this” He crosses his arms

 “God Christopher you’re so fucking clueless...in the interview, when that asshole said ‘I bet you can handle M/N so well’” He mocks, “You sat there without saying anything back. Only chuckled and ignored it.” “Well what the hell was I supposed to do? MN it was just a stupid little joke.” “Stupid little joke? Are you fucking with me right now? You were supposed to stick up for me, but you didn’t...” Small shed of tears began forming in the young male’s eyes.

The Bostonian man sighed, looking deeply into M/N’s eyes. He could see how hurt he truly was. “M/N...your right and I...I am sorry I didn’t stand up for you like a good partner should...Will you forgive me?” It was M/N’s turn to see how Chris truly meant his words, so with a soft sigh-”I do...” “Can we hug it out?” “Sure Christopher.” The lovers wrap their arms around one another, exhaling each other’s scent. “I love you M/N, love you with all my heart.” Chris whispered into his ear, lips peaking a kiss into M/N’s cheek. “Love you too Chris.” 

“...I’m hungry...” 

“Your punishment for today is cooking tonight’s dinner.” 

“But M/N you know I suck at cooking, probably gonna burn the whole kitchen down.” 

“Either you cook or there will be no sex tonight. Your choice, Evans.” 

“Hmph...” 

“But you still love me, Chris.” 

“And will forever do...” 

#chris evans x male reader #chris evans x male #male reader #male x male #male insert #gay #angst #Chris Evans

[g0dspeeed]

Liar, Liar

For @constantzeigarnik

"V unabashedly flirting with Viktor, just laying it on real thick for the ripperdoc, and Viktor just not being prepared for it in the slightest."

“Liar, liar.”

The words came out in a tired sigh with a voice that hopefully sounded as indifferent as V intended.

The pair was laid out on the hood of Panam’s latest wheels, eyes closed, and cold drinks in hand. After helping the Aldecaldo get the ride from a locked storage yard, V had offered to relax beneath the shade of a highway overpass while they waited for the client to arrive. Panam accepted without a second thought. Between the two of them, a break from daily survival in Night City seemed in order.

Supposed to be chill.

Just two friends sippin’ on a dry afternoon.

No worries.

No stress for an hour.

That was before their present conversation, one that V was trying desperately to avoid.

“Yeah, I’m the liar here,” returned Panam. “And Night City is family friendly. At least I’m not the one in denial that my ripperdoc has the hots for me.”

V turned to shoot her friend a dark look. The nomad smirked as the warning fell flat. Despite V’s best efforts, Panam could see right through her: She was absolutely fuckin’ right.

“Think ya’ got it all wrong,” V maintained in a cool tone.

“Oh, do I?”

V cringed.

“Only met the guy one time,” Panam said. “Felt like a third wheel between the two of you eye-fuckin’ each other. Almost walked outta there see what that psychic girl was sellin’.”

A new warmth began stinging V’s cheeks and Panam frowned at her friend’s lack of response.

This was new territory. Seeing V react this way was beyond strange. One of the most capable people Panam had ever met was turning red over a man. Borderline bizarre. Truly, the entire conversation was out of the norm.

“Shit,” muttered Panam. At her best efforts at being soft, she added, “Don’t feel bad, V. The guy’s stacked like a fucking truck.”

At that, V finally let her guard down. She grinned as Panam gently shoved her shoulder.

“There she is. Just let that denial fade away-”

“Fuck off.”

“What the hell are you afraid of?” asked Panam. “Rejection?”

V looked at her energy drink, swiveling the liquid around before relenting.

“I mean, yeah, kinda.”

An eye roll and a heavy groan came from the woman beside her.

“Yeah okay,” said Panam. “Like he’d reject a woman half his age, much less a badass like you. V, I saw it for myself. The guy thinks you’re hot. Caught ‘im lookin’ at your ass. Not only that, he cares, like genuinely cares about you, which says a lot for people like us. Next time you see him, just lay it on thick and be done.”

V scrunched her eyes shut at her friend’s advice. Just talking about openly pursuing Viktor Vector made V’s stomach twist into knots. As much as she was the badass that Panam knew her to be, for V to explore an actual romantic relationship outside of ‘eye-fucking’ and the occasional one-night stand with some rando from Afterlife was not something V was familiar with. Her days were chaotic. Her lifestyle was that of constant motion. Viktor, in all his edginess, was stable, consistent, and secure. Also, she enjoyed the subtly they shared, the skirting around the topic of their flirty friendship, or whatever it was, from the safety of fleeting looks, suggestive undertones, and the occasional wink.

Then again, if V were honest with herself, it never seemed to be enough. V couldn’t deny that each time she left his clinic she wanted more. Craved more. More time, more privacy, more touch. She was her own worst enemy in all of those categories, always the first to shy away, to change the subject, to wander off.

“Worst case scenario,” breathed Panam. “He’s not interested in dating someone younger. Or just wants to be friends. That’s fine. Whatever. Should that happen, you delta outta there, lay low for a few weeks, find a new doc, and move on.”

“I can’t just delta out of his life,” groaned V. “He’s been my ripperdoc since I came to Night City. He’s also one of my closest friends-”

“Ok, then suffer. Fuck! Just do something. You’re killing me with this in between bullshit.”

Hours later, their conversation from under the overpass played on repeat inside V’s head. Panam cannot sugar coat anything. She might be physically incapable of doing that. Her words came straight from the heart and that’s what made what she had to say so sincere.

That is at least what V was telling herself as she steadily made her way down the steps to Viktor’s clinic, hands clammy, and body keyed up.

Part of her hoped that he was out or tied up with a patient. Maybe he would tell her to come by later.

She scoffed.

What a stupid thought. She was too quick to forget how often he invited her to stick around if he were operating, how she would wait at his workbench or nap on his crusty couch in the back. Sure enough, she could hear the man whistling below, the cheery sound echoing to where she hesitated. She swallowed.

With a final deep breath, V summoned up the bravery to walk through the metal gate.

Hunched over his operating chair, Viktor appeared to be wiping down between appointments, his rich voice humming along to some song in his head. V watched for a moment, taking in the serene sight before approaching the ripperdoc.

“Surprised you’re not watching a match,” she said.

The humming stopped. His head cocked at hearing her voice.

Without turning he responded, “Aren’t any on right now or you know I would be.”

The rag was tossed down and Viktor shifted to look at her.

V’s stomach flipped. His blue button-up was stained with a dark, oily substance all over the front. The top buttons were either missing or dangling from bits of string, leaving the shirt partly undone and exposing his undershirt. V’s eyebrows furrowed as she noticed a small crack that cut in the corner of his glasses just above a small nick on his cheekbone.

“You look-”

“Like shit?” he finished with a grin.

Viktor crossed his arms, drawing V’s attention to his thick biceps in a knee-jerk reaction.

“Bet so,” he continued. “Someone brought in his friend after a run in with the Tyger Claws, all blood clots and broke teeth. The gonk was scared out of his goddamn mind. Took a toll just to sedate ‘im.”

His smile had turned into a smirk, something confident and full of swagger as he told his story. He wore it well, mastering the balance found only in seasoned residents of Night City, of those who earned their street cred by way of blood, grit, and never backing down. V’s lips pursed at how his eyes looked to hers past those dark lenses.

Here would be the part where V ran away, ran from opportunity, from her feelings. He dared to look at her the way he did in that moment, so smooth, so confident. The man had to know. Viktor had to recognize how he affected her, had to notice how her eyes appreciated his physique, how her complexion warmed when he touched her. His frame had turned to face hers, all broad shoulders and aftershave.

She could step back.

Look away.

This was where she could coolly suppress her attraction and change the subject.

But not today.

“Here,” she said warmly.

V stepped close to the ripperdoc, shrinking the gap between their bodies as her fingers gently plucked the man’s glasses from his face. Viktor blinked in surprise and swallowed as she studied the damaged lens with a critical eye, her own smirk pulling at her full lips.

“Gonna need new ones, doc,” she told him.

Next, V carefully folded the glasses and slid them onto the collar of her top. Viktor’s eyes tracked her movements before quickly glancing away. Ever the gentleman.

“But don’t worry,” continued V. “The rest of you I can remedy.”

He chuckled.

“The rest of me?”

V looked up. She nearly gasped. For Viktor to wear those damn shaded glasses was a sin. The bluest blue that V had ever seen, his eyes were deep like ocean water. There was longing in them. Desire. He adored V for standing so close and showing such concern for his wellbeing. Christ, she could get lost in those eyes if he kept looking at her like that.

To answer his question, V tugged at the hem of his soiled shirt. He stiffened.

“Are you tryin’ to say that you like being covered in… whatever this is?” she mused.

“Well, no-”

In a near whisper, V begged, “Then come on, Vik. Let me play doctor for once.”

Fuck.

The way she was looking up at him with that smile, those bedroom eyes, leaning close like that with her fingers tugging on his shirt and talkin’ in that sweet, sexy voice.

Who was Viktor to deny her?

He sighed out a ‘Fine’ and nodded in agreement. Consent confirmed, V went to work. V’s fingers moved to undo the remaining buttons of his shirt, but Viktor stopped her hands. His own hands were warm, a little rough with scars and callouses on the tips and knuckles. In response to V’s questioning look, Viktor grabbed his shirt and ripped the buttons loose with a jerk. They pattered at their feet.

“Trash,” he stated as he slid his arms free from his shirt. Like the buttons, it went airborne and landed in a nearby biohazard bin.

“Hey now,” warned V with mock annoyance. “I said let me play doctor.”

“Oh am I being a bad patient?” returned Viktor.

To his surprise, V placed her palm at the center of his chest. Her fingers flexed gently against his undershirt, making Viktor’s heart race. She then gave a gentle shove.

“The worst,” she teased as Viktor let her push him back into his own operating chair.

Even if he wanted to, there was no way that Viktor could hide his smile. He was at a loss. What in the world had gotten into V? Not that he was complaining of course, but he was so used to waiting. The flirting, the winks, all those playful innuendos had been going on for such a long time. By now, Viktor simply accepted that she wouldn’t push it further, that their friendship or whatever they had, consisted of only those teasing moments. Nothing more. In the end he believed that V didn’t want anything deeper with the ripperdoc. And that was fine. A bummer, but fine. Didn’t feel bad about it. Didn’t resent her. She was younger, a wild one who made a hobby out of recklessly injuring herself doing God knows what in the city. The man wasn’t new to women or intimacy, and with a woman like V he thought it best to let her set the terms, especially considering that she was after all his patient. A patient who ate his food, slept on his couch, completely ignored his work schedule, and called him ‘pretty boy’ on the regular. A patient no less.

So imagine how fast his heart was racing as her fingers softly cupped his cheek, at how her body leaned in close as she inspected the small cut beneath his eye. Viktor tried his hardest to look off into nothingness rather than at her breasts. Tried to ignore how delicious she smelled. Was she wearing perfume-

“Breathe, Vik,” she mumbled. “Can’t have my first patient black out on me.”

She fucking winked and that goddamn smirk of hers graced her lips.

“I, uh,” he began. He laughed, a bit too nervously for his liking. “I’m sorry, just, just distracted. It doesn’t hurt that much, ya know.”

“How’d he get ya?” asked V.

To Viktor’s disappointment, V stepped away from the chair and walked towards his workbench. He didn’t miss how her hips swayed or how she bent over to grab his medical kit in a nearly exaggerated manner. The way she looked into his eyes while she straightened, all slow and sensual with those curves of hers, went immediately to his dick. He swallowed.

“Um,” he said stupidly. “He, uh, headbutted me. With his head.”

“Ouch,” she replied.

Before she returned to the flustered ripperdoc, V shimmied out of her bomber jacket and tossed it on his workbench. A tattered crop top pulled against her skin as she shook out her dark hair.

Viktor had the decency to rest his hands in his lap to shield the effect that the merc had on him.

Her tongue wet her lips as she fished through the kit for what she wanted. The glance she shot in his direction proved that there was no innocence in the act.

What the fuck was happening?

That question repeated itself over and over again in his mind as she again bent closely towards his body to apply a Q-tip to the wound, offering another delicious view of her ample breasts.

“Can I get some feedback, doc?” she asked quietly.

Viktor swallowed, his mouth dry like sand.

“Yeah, kid,” he replied lowly.

V paused her work to truly look at him, to gaze into those gorgeous eyes of his. Then, all calm and collected, V perched herself next to him at the edge of the operating chair. Viktor allowed her some room as she cupped his cheek with her other hand, her breasts resting on his torso as she leaned into him. Her thumb ghosted his skin, tempting. Teasing. Viktor ignored the urge to press against the throbbing hardness in his pants. The cut long forgotten, his attention was caught up in V’s eyes, the warmth of her skin, her smell, the sultriness of her voice.

“Do you want me?”

Her mouth was so close to his. The warmth of her breath tickled his skin like static. Viktor’s eyes shut in anticipation as V slowly drew herself to his lips.

He felt nothing, but heard the soft tear of paper. Viktor’s eyes fluttered open, brow crinkling in confusion. V had sat up and was unwrapping a small bandage, her eyes fixated on the task while he gaped at her. When it was open, she reached out and carefully applied the bandage to the cut on Viktor’s cheek.

“All done,” she stated in a chipper tone, a wide smile stretched from ear to ear.

Viktor smirked.

“Oh yeah?” he questioned. “Think you’re hot shit giving this old man a heart attack?”

“Think I gave you more than that, pretty boy.”

Her eyes flickered to his lap and back to those ocean eyes. Viktor sat up in the chair, his hands not budging as if his life depended on it.

“You never answered me,” said V, the playfulness gone from her voice and replaced with a feeling that Viktor found it hard to describe.

There was no mystery, however, to how he felt in hearing it. His heart melted at her words, at how the game was finally over and that she, beautiful V, wanted to know if he wanted her. A stupid question, really, but an important one all the same.

“Ah V,” he said with a sigh.

Panic alit her eyes like fire, but it was quickly doused as Viktor took her by the hand.

“Of course I do,” Viktor replied earnestly. He gave her hand a small squeeze. “I’d be a fuckin’ liar if I didn’t.”

For whatever reason, Viktor saw V blink as if there was something odd in what he said. The moment was short and quickly forgotten as V embraced him so hard that the pair fell back in his operating chair, his arm wrapped around waist and his lips pressed into her hair.

#viktor vector #cyberpunk 2077 #im tired af #ripperdoc

[vestsfriends]

Live reaction/thoughts to She-Ra Season 5:

thought these were p funny so here ya go

-entrapta does have feelings mkay @ mermista

-catra apologized to entrapta even after she bluntly stated all the horrible shit she did to her,, bless

-Scorpia has electricity POWERS WTF YO

-so?? Does Glimmer?? Like?? Not have her teleportation powers anymore?? Or??

-catra + short hair = a strange feeling

-‘wrong hordedak’ is a precioUS bABy

-frosta is so tiny she is supposed to be 13 now but like,, she still smol af

-Micah being apart of the team,, he’s everyone’s dad now

-she-ra’s upgrade?? God is a woman after all

-does Micah know that Shadow Weaver is Light Spinner or—

-Kyle and Rogelio is canon LETS FUCKIN GO

-if they don’t conclude/answer the biggest question I’ve had the entire series aka “what IS Madam Razz?” then imma riot

-SPINERELLA NOOOOO how fucking long has she had the horde chip on her neck??

-THERES no DOUBT in my mind that the chip in Spinerella is the reason why Netossa was crying in the trailer,,,

-catra’s redemption is awesome- it’s very well written- it’s slow but making good progress

-perfuma and seahawk have had almost zero screen time so far so I hope that changes soon

-even tho there’s clearly gonna be endgame ships— the glitra, slight scorptra, entrapdak, catrapta, glimmadora, glimbow, and scortrapta has been good in new content

-GLIMMER KISSED CATRA ON DA CHEEK FHKSDHJDSDHJDHSHSHS aw

-also bow saying catras sneeze was adorable >>>>

-horde prime is very,, i dunno,, weird? Like he has his polite charade/act goin on and then turns into a strict dictator two seconds later lmao

-Scorpia singing?? My SHIT! SHES SO TALENTED

-I never knew I needed lipstick! Mermista and Peruma until now

-Scorpia stayed behind wtf

-DOUBLEEEEEE TROUBLEEEEE THEY BACK

-THE INTROSSSSSS THEY KEEP CHANGING

-entrapta teaching wrong! Hordak to wink is too pure for this world

-the netossa crying scene showed up :(

-bows DADSSSSSSSSSSS EVERY CHARACTER IS SHOWING UP AGAIN I CRI

-okay but what’s shadow weavers deal?? Why she do dis shit??

-I love aunt casta’s and shadow weavers banter tho lmfao

-catra now has a loyal cat companion

-and now she & her gone

-damN Perfuma rlly has faith in people huh

-horde primes gonna fuck shit up oh no here he comes

-hordak is remembering Entrapta lemme just,,,, :’) “your imperfections are beautiful”

-glimbow rlly out here being more touchy than usual huh

-AWWWWWW BOWS PLAYING A CUTE GUITAR WHILE GLIMMER SLEEPS ON HIS SHOULDER HDJDSJJS and she’s blushing okay 👌

-“take care of her, horde scum” “that’s the plan, sparkles” glitra has been popping bottles this season

-Y’know I still ship bowfuma but like- GLIMBOW CANONNNNN THAT FOREHEAD KISS AND THE “I LOVE YOU”s FUCK IM DYING DHDKDHSHDHDHDSHJD

-MARA JUST SWOOPED IN OUT OF NO WHERE wHAT

-is hordak gonna be the one to tackle horde prime or,, no? Bc him hurting Entrapta is gonna affect hordak for sure

-“you’re worth more than what you give to other people” limme just weep for a sec

-“couldn’t wait to sweep me off my feet?” Jesus seahawk dhdkdjdj also why is this show so good at writing good chemistry for hetero ships like damn

-bows message to Atheria? fuckin stan him taking charge

-SHADOW WEAVER GIVING UP HER LIFE TO SAVE CATRA AND ADORA >>>

-“I’m so proud of you, Catra.” I legit started crying at this

-oml even the staff from drill showed up dhdjdhdhd I missed them since season 1

-hordak really just,, said this whole ass speech about defying his rules and just,, fuckin,, drops horde prime off a cliff LMAOO DAMN

-DID ADORA JUST JUMP INTO THE FUTURE OR SOME SHIT?! catra has a ponytail, Adora looks like a Greek god, and glimmer has even shorter hair oml I’m dead

-bow has a goatee IM

-catra saying “I love you” hit different

-like my main ship is scorptra just bc Scorpia was able to make catra soft/blush a few times lol but canon catradora is p cute- the way they handled the build up was well-written

-“stay” is a reoccurring line in this season

-UPGRADED! SHEILD!

-hey bro- what if,, we were both main characters,, of the same sex,, and we used to beat each other up,, and we kissed,, hey wait bro- don’t stop bro-

-the angle of the kiss reminded me of the Starco one ngl (but that show ended badly so,, eh)

-who knew kissing catra was so powerful that it made your barrette fly right outta yo hair

-ENTRAPTA DOING A SPINNING HUG WITH HORDAK DHDKDHSHS SOFT BABIES

-DAMN SPINTOSSA KISSED LIKE THREE TIMES ON THE MOUTH THIS SEASON WOOHOO

-scorptra hug? That’s all I needed thank you noelle I can die happily

-so ig we’ll never truly know what madam razz is,, oh well. At least she made an appearance

-the last shot with the best friend squad? Fantastic. Great show, great ending.

#she ra and the princesses of power #shera #adora #bow #glimmer #my random shit #lgbtq representation #noelle stevenson #catradora #scorptra #entrapdak #glitra #glimbow #seamista #kygelio #scorpia #wrong hordak #entrapta #satpop

[peakascum]

Lean On Me

this is terrible im so sorry 

A slight breeze trickled its way in caressing Y/N’s cheeks. A silent whisper, an invisible touch so soft that she could've imagined it. The grass seemed duller than ever before, yet it was the only place she could find comfort. The chirp of the Blackbird swooped her in a limbo and made her hands clutch the greenery before her. The grass that usually soothed her and held traces of a once happy day seemed to cut her now, leaving behind traces of agony and invisible cuts that penetrated their way into her heart. It happened, what she had been avoiding and fought way too hard for, had happened. 

Tears escaped her eyes as her lips parted, yet no sound came out of them. They stuck to her throat creating a heaving sound that only heartbroken mothers would make. She had pleaded with her husband’s family to keep her children safe, to protect them fiercely when the time came. They failed, as did everything else in her life. 

She lay down on her side to hear the earth mumble its condolences and whisper reassurances to her baby boy, letting him know how loved and cared for he truly was. How long she had waited for his arrival, how happy the family was to see him grow up, and how much they cherished his blue-colored eyes that looked just like his father’s. His bloody father.

“Y/N!” John screamed making his way up the hill. More tears escaped her eyes in anger and frustration. “Y/N, please darling. Let’s- let’s just go home.” He pleaded, blue eyes staring right back to her almost lifeless ones. He pleaded just as he did every afternoon hoping this would finally be the day she would return home.

“Where is home, John?” She croaked. “Want me to go home to what, eh? To what?”

His knees gave in beside her in defeat and lay on the ground beside his wife, if he still could call her that. They stared at each other as if trying to rope in every single thing that made them come together in the first place. Tears streamed down his face, outlining every dimple, every crease, and every freckle that kissed his cheeks. He sucked in a breath and slowly extended one of his hands towards her. The hand crawled its way through the grass and enveloped her small ones, making her break out into a sob. 

“I can’t undo everything. I can’t bring him back. But-“ he sucked in a breath, “I promised to stand by you and love you and do my best to protect you.” His hand left hers and wiped her tears, leaving his fingers to linger on her cheek. “M-my love,” he called out to her affectionately, “I promised you chickens and blue skies and love and I-“ once again his voice betrayed him. Broken promises unable to be redeemed. 

“The kids keep asking about where their mum is and if you've gone with Will, and I just don’t know what to fuckin’ tell them.” Her eyes sprung back with a bit of shimmer at the mention of their kids. The ones she and John created out of pure love. Words can't seem to be enough as the grief sets in between them. The long nights they shared waking up to take care of their first born. All of his firsts shared in their little house on Watery Lane. The first scare, the first fever, first words, first day of school, all shared between the couple as new parents. All their firsts, including the one they shared currently, one they wished with all their hearts that they wouldn't be able to. 

“Tell me about them,” she whispered, “what have they been up to?”

And so John rambled on about their mischievous children and their silly, little occurrences. He told her how Polly had been staying in their home taking care of them while you both grieved. His eyes lit up at the mention of Tommy dropping by with Charlie every few days, just happy at seeing his big brother being there for him. How Arthur took them to the park and Finn took them for spins in the car. His face lit up as he heard her giggle making his insides warm at the tought of her finding joy in his words. 

“We both lost him, Y/N. We both lost everything, but we have more kids to live for.” He gripped her crying face in his rough hands and brought her closer to his. “Don’t push me away. I fuckin’ need you too and I refuse to do this without you.” 

His tone desperate, hands shaking and eyes broken.

Her face tired and eyes equally, but a newfound hope sprang in her wilting heart. She twisted her head and placed kisses on the palm of his hand. 

With a slight push they rose to their feet in unison. John looped his arm through hers and slowly descended the hill that stood near their house. From the window Polly stood watching in hopes that she would spring into herself once again. Always fond of the girl that stole her nephew’s heart and cared for like a daughter of her own. But Polly knew all too well the feeling of losing a child. The guilt, the loneliness, the madness that came with the empty rooms and ear, shattering silence. Yet, knew it was a matter of time before Y/N managed to pull herself out of the spell. Because, as much as she knew how these things clawed their way into your lives, nothing could destroy the love and determination she and John held for them and their family. 

#John Shelby #john shelby imagine #john shelby fanfic #John Shelby x reader #peakascum #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #thomas shelby imagine #arthur shelby imagine #finn shelby imagine #Polly Gray imagine #peaky blinders one shot #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby