#im really grateful my parents never held me to the same standard bc even tho they didnt know i was autistic they knew i was Different

[kidfur]

ok that poast got me thinking so rq rant abt my sibling . in the tags bc i cant figure out how go add a readmore on the version of tumblr mobile i use

#wishy speaks #so like #my sibling is Pretty successful for someone their age #they rent a nice place in a town they enjoy living in and have a long term partner and a secure career #and their partner has an even more secure career #and they got all A's their entire time in school #not that it was necessarily easy for them but they still Did That #im really grateful my parents never held me to the same standard bc even tho they didnt know i was autistic they knew i was Different #and had a lot of trouble sometimes #but my sibling thinks that i can just. do a lot of the same stuff they do if i try? #they said to mom that they have issues like mine too and still do all these cool things wrt careers and school #and like. do you understand how different we are. #we are such wildly different people. even disregarding my disability. do you not see the miles between us #do you understand i have limitations you dont? that im not just a smaller lazier cringier version of you? #you are 5 years older than me #you have had 23 years to get to know me #and this is the conclusion you come to? #im so like. disappointed in them #its hard to talk to them without them trying to give me their company skillshare login or telling me to monetize one of my hobbies #especially website design. ugh. designing and coding a personal website gives me migraines. doing it for a client would make me explode #i cant fucking brush my teeth or shower without someone Telling Me To #what makes you think i can go back to college? get a job? take online classes? what the fuck makes you think that??? #when our own mother understands me better than you do i think thats a big sign you fucked up #its just so frustrating #i miss that period where they had just finished school and lived at home until they moved away for a job opportunity and we played games all #day together #they didn't pressure me into anything then bc i was just in high school still #but now that im out of school and a college dropout its like they think im just being lazy and underestimating myself #and yea its not like ive Tried getting a job #but when i can barely take care of myself its not like thats a high priority