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#especially website design. ugh. designing and coding a personal website gives me migraines. doing it for a client would make me explode
kidfur
·
2 months
Text
ok that poast got me thinking so rq rant abt my sibling . in the tags bc i cant figure out how go add a readmore on the version of tumblr mobile i use
#wishy speaks
#so like
#my sibling is Pretty successful for someone their age
#they rent a nice place in a town they enjoy living in and have a long term partner and a secure career
#and their partner has an even more secure career
#and they got all A's their entire time in school
#not that it was necessarily easy for them but they still Did That
#im really grateful my parents never held me to the same standard bc even tho they didnt know i was autistic they knew i was Different
#and had a lot of trouble sometimes
#but my sibling thinks that i can just. do a lot of the same stuff they do if i try?
#they said to mom that they have issues like mine too and still do all these cool things wrt careers and school
#and like. do you understand how different we are.
#we are such wildly different people. even disregarding my disability. do you not see the miles between us
#do you understand i have limitations you dont? that im not just a smaller lazier cringier version of you?
#you are 5 years older than me
#you have had 23 years to get to know me
#and this is the conclusion you come to?
#im so like. disappointed in them
#its hard to talk to them without them trying to give me their company skillshare login or telling me to monetize one of my hobbies
#especially website design. ugh. designing and coding a personal website gives me migraines. doing it for a client would make me explode
#i cant fucking brush my teeth or shower without someone Telling Me To
#what makes you think i can go back to college? get a job? take online classes? what the fuck makes you think that???
#when our own mother understands me better than you do i think thats a big sign you fucked up
#its just so frustrating
#i miss that period where they had just finished school and lived at home until they moved away for a job opportunity and we played games all
#day together
#they didn't pressure me into anything then bc i was just in high school still
#but now that im out of school and a college dropout its like they think im just being lazy and underestimating myself
#and yea its not like ive Tried getting a job
#but when i can barely take care of myself its not like thats a high priority
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