#im of the opinion that sometimes less is more

[nottapossum]

you think husk would watch supernanny for some parent tips only to get super invested in Jo absolutley slamming on the parents and being like "you go tell em, Jo!" as she tells a parent that they're awful rasing kids

Haha 😆

To be honest, I could definitely see Husk watching it for that reason at first, but continuing to watch it purely for entertainment purposes and less the advice.

Personally, I like watching the show on occasion, but I'm not the biggest fan of the authoritative parenting style. Just my personal opinion.

I can see him using some of her methods from time to time, but most of it wouldn't really work with Angel.

It would just make the spider feel bad.

Though I definitely see Husk being stricter than say- Charlie or Cherri. I don't think Angel would benefit from being ignored when he's crying or when he's put in a time out. And Husk wouldn't be that cruel.

Every kiddo is different, and though some kids would be fine with most of her techniques but Angel responds better with positive reinforcement and strict boundaries.

He doesn't let Angel just get away with everything. There's still discipline. He just focuses more on helping Angel learn boundaries and healing his inner child than teaching him to be a "perfect kid."

He doesn't want Angel to think that he needs to make Husk happy or else he gets in trouble. He wants Angel to learn that he is loved no matter what he does and teach him to work on being his best self for himself, not for anyone else.

Long rant. I apologize.

⚠️Warning: Talking about drinking alcohol⚠️

Okay- here's the fun stuff:

He would definitely criticize the parents in the show and cheer on Jo like it's some type of sports channel.

Lol and Angel, when he's big, can join in and help cheer her on.

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

Angel: "What'cha watchin?"

Husk: "Supernanny."

Angel, laughing. "What are you, are thirty year old mom?"

*Couple drinks later*

Angel: *watching with Husk* "Tisk tisk, wow. Didn't stick to the new routine, Jo's gonna be maaad when she gets back."

*Jo pausing the clip.*

Husk: "Now you're in for it, Debbie."

♤♡◇♧

Husk: "This is just lazy parenting"

Supernanny: "You're just being lazy."

Husk: "That's what I'm saying!"

♤♡◇♧

Angel: "This family doesn't need a super nanny. They need a super CPS person to come in."

Husk *Sighs* "Can't fix everyone, Jo. Sometimes, you just gotta accept that."

♤♡◇♧

Angel, gasps: "My parents should have been on this show!"

Husk: "My parents wouldn't have stayed sober enough to watch an episode, let alone be in one."

Angel, handing Husk another bottle.

Husk, takes it: "Thanks."

Angel: "Yup."

♤

♡

◇

♧

@todayimfour @ask-dusty-boy @trophyxtissues2 @abby5577 @im-not-paying-my-taxes

#ittybittysinners #ittybittysinnersq&h #hazbin hotel agere #hazbin hotel age regression #little!angel dust #caregiver Husk #cg!Husk #cg!Husker #caregiver Husker

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

#—silan replies; #j a little rant :)

[mrpinchy]

Likely a pipe dream, but one thing I wish Season of Discovery would do is try and retroactively make the newer classes as if they were released in vanilla. Funny to imagine what Monk or Evoker would be like.

classic era monk or demon hunter would be so broken lmao BUT super interested how they would translate modern classes with so many buttons into something that works in classic

#im of the opinion that sometimes less is more #feel this way about classic vs retail wow classes lol #in terms of buttons #HONESTLY I THINK THEY COULD DO IT

[designernishiki]

when i started following you i was a firm bisexual kiryu believer and now with every post about this man im more and more leaning into “oh so hes just a gay man heavy in denial. okay”

all according to keikaku

#welcome to my twisted mind #im glad my insane ramblings arent in vain #this was supposed to be a stupid doodle in response to this ask but I got carried away and now it looks like a youtube thumbnail #but yeah anyway. when I first started playing the games I was sorta the other way around from what I am now- thought it’d be more likely for #kiryu to come off more bi and majima more outright gay. but the more i played and Absorbed and thought about stuff i realized man. #kiryu’s just. really not into women. like whatever majima is / whatever preferences he may have he seems overall pretty flexible #and pretty likely to be an Anything Goes sort of guy #in comparison to kiryu who’s just #not into women. period. and it is not subtle. he doesn’t have majima’s charisma or social skills so he doesn’t talk himself around it #or really give excuses or whatever else. so it’s pretty stark sometimes in a way less ambiguous way than with majima in my opinion #anywho it’s almost 5am I should go to bed #kiryu #kazuma kiryu #yakuza #rgg #rambling #my art #im realizing the way I wrote the words on that doodle kinda look like the yakuza dont hdhdjfjf that was not on purpose #*font

[beholdthemem]

Well, if there's one useful thing that Ace Discourse has taught me, it's that all that solidarity people like to talk about is a goddamn myth. You have to look out for yourself, and if somebody falls under a Different Letter Of The Acronym, there is apparently zero guarantee they're going to have your back.

It is truly fucking amazing how somebody can post some truly awful shit about asexuals, implying they can and should be FIXED, medically or otherwise, and have all these people in the notes going 'I completely agreed with you until I noticed that you identify as a radfem :/' and see NOTHING WRONG WITH THE FACT THAT RADFEM RHETORIC SEEMED COMPLETELY REASONABLE TO THEM AS LONG AS IT WAS ABOUT A GROUP THEY DON'T LIKE. It blows my mind, how these same people will go back to their own blogs and write horrible, bigoted thinkpieces on asexuality, asexual culture, all the things wrong with allowing people to 'consider this an orientation', with 'letting them call themselves queer because they want to feel special or something' and have all these people with banners on their blog about how important it is to fight back against bigotry and to be there for each other, to have COMMUNITY- commenting and reblogging and agreeing with it. Because all those things are fine, as long as they're just about asexuals.

'We're all in this together- except, not YOU.'

Heard you loud and clear, you various wastes of life.

#personal #i have blocked over fifty people today. over FIFTY. #like im glad aphobia is at least a slightly less mainstream opinion but it hasn't gone away #people are just more quiet about it. #im glad younger asexuals sometimes end up finding community now but me? i don't fucking trust like that. #i will support everybody else because that's the decent thing to do but i don't believe for a SECOND you'll be there for US #when we need it. #i am a community of ONE. i don't want in your special fucking club i want to be respected #and since you've made it clear you can't even do THAT you can eat SHIT. #aphobia cw

[suffarustuffaru]

🛒

What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

MY BAD it has taken me a little while to get to every fic writer question ive been asked pfft but i appreciate all of them and theyre really fun to answer :o and alright ok common things—character psychology is a big thing in all of my work :o aa every time i write a characters pov i try to do at least some research into their personality, backstory, etc etc bc my writing is almost always like?? character study type things?? i Really like delving deep into how characters think!!! :o so a lot of my works are like. you Will hear almost every thought in their head HAH. ive been told i have a very recognizable writing style widndnd but i do try to switch up internal dialogue at least a little bit depending on the pov character. i dont know how effective i am at that but i try HAH plus i think its fun trying to capture how someone thinks in the same way that youd try to capture how they speak in their dialogue. i think the most obvious example is probably my recent reinhard stuff—i tried to sound more formal with him? even with little kid reinhard i wrote his internal dialogue kind of formally because i figured that Might be able to create that bit of Dissonance that reinhard has as a character, you know? hes uncanny.

and uh because i focus on internal dialogue a lot, by the nature of things i kind of Have To slap the unreliable narrator tag on the vast majority of my fics HAH but unreliable narrators are fun and i love playing with them!! and i think its realistic in the sense that even a character thats very fair and just and honest may still have the wrong information at times or have emotion cloud their judgment or be a little unreliable for those reasons. that and i tend to pick the mentally fucked characters (which is pretty easy with the rezero cast HAH) whenever i write Very detailed internal dialogue so!!! unreliable narration and spirals into madness it is!!! i just really like exploring like. the humanity behind each character and all their nuances <3 and i Love having to squint at internal dialogue and add that up with a characters thoughts and actions and figure out who this person Actually Truly Is Like?? its like a puzzle :o !!

as for themes. i went into this a lot in another fic writer ask thingy but Definitely like. when characters change as a result of shit hitting their fan and/or their own choices and now theyre Different from the person they used to be. they came back wrong so now what are they going to do? how are the people around them going to treat them now? how will they treat the people around them? i just really like going into like. identity crisis… and um…. suffering that triggers massive self searching bc. the character changed in some way in order to survive through it physically and/or mentally. like seeing characters change for the worse and seeing them either try to crawl their way out or they. keep going down. it can be hopeful or very tragic!!! (bc i love hurt/comfort and tragedy a lot ajdnd) and complicated relationships are a huge favorite of mine to tackle. fascinating multi-layered stuff that i want to study under a microscope!!! i like when multiple contradictions exist within a dynamic or like. a character and their journey. the complexity feels very real to me and i find it intriguing :o

i also love queer themes but due to um. some of the toxicity in this fandom i do hesitate to do stuff with that in this fandom but i DO love queer themes its just not in most of my work atm but thatll change eventually 👍 ill at least slip in a little bit every chance i get 👍👍 (i have exactly one fic with queer themes atm wjdnd)

motifs/random imagery i use a lot also!!!! mostly bc i find them cool and fun but. yes theyre there for a reason. in my first pride otto fic i used second person pov and avoided using his name at points to emphasize that hes 1. being dehumanized and 2. hes dehumanizing himself too as a result. i uhh have also used star related things for subaru a lot bc Of Course. butterflies and moths for emisuba things…. economics themed titles for my pride otto multichap…. bugs for general pride if things…. comparing the knights uniform to bird wings in my reinhard and heinkel fic… i like to describe outfits in general too (pride otto vs main ottos outfits, also felix not wearing blue in the 2 seconds of screentime he has in my pride if fics atm wkdndn) etc etc :o

#this is such a long response but wkdndnd hope this all made sense HAH #i almost decided to study psychology in college!!! atm i am not doing that but it is still a possibility i suppose. #i have no idea what im doing. but anyway!!! yes this is a good summary of the stuff i usually like writing pfft #i will like the skrunkliest characters im so sorry thats why i keep otto and heinkel posting KANDNDND #but it IS nice writing side character content if only bc ur one of the only people doing it in the fandom on ao3 so its almost kind of?? #free reign??? they dont have as much like. fanon tropey things bc theyre not as Big. u know?? so absolute freedom to go buck wild writing #fic for them wofndndnd #and im also so starved of content ill make it myself just so i dont starve 👍 #like its def a little less of an uphill battle to write uh for example. otto pov vs emilia pov. bc at least with otto pov i dont feel like #im fighting against loud fandom opinion + tappeis opinion. if that makes sense. #like i try to be as canon compliant as possible at all times but WHAT do i do with emilia is 14 yrsand 18 yrs and 100+ yrs at the same time. #sometimes i want tappei to shut up a bit HAH #i do hope to see more content for side characters tho fr 🙏🙏 otto fics where are u… #ask #and also rip if ur writing in depth content involving any rezero kids bc u have a 99% chance of having to wade through tappei being weird #about kids. cries.

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

So an LP channel I love presented a theory that the mage circle in DA is essentially built to fail, things like templar incompetence and brutality and poor training of mages are allowed to spread specifically so that there are enough incidents to keep the widespread fear of mages fresh, and I LOVE that. Given how Bioware writes I sincerely doubt its intended, but its a take that I really love particularly when you look at all the cultures with mages outside of the chantry that do just fine (mainly thinking if the dalish here but like...there's enough casually mentioned apostates out there just vibing to suggest that circle training against demons isn't all that effective)

Downside is it makes Vivienne all the more infuriating to deal with. I already struggled talking to her because she's like...she's literally fighting for her own oppression, it drives me insane

#and before anyone says sure i see the arguments that mages are inherently dangerous #its the same story you see in X-men or telepaths in B5 etc etc #that doesnt make it any less a narrative about oppression lol #its the same reason i have such strong opinions on marvel civil war for example #(the comic not the movie the movie was shit) #like...it doesnt matter how theoretically dangerous a person is. theyre still a fucking person. #let individual groups manage their own people yknow #shocking take my gay autistic trans ass is agressively pro mage lol but like...god #bioware has such an interesting and direct parable on their hands and routinely wipes their collective ass with it #and its especially frustrating bc Vivienne is an interesting character! id love to get to know her more #but every fucking conversation is a criticism that im giving mages basic personal freedoms or how wonderful the chantry is #it makes her downright unpleasant to talk to #at least sera and bull feel like they can at least see the other side of things sometimes

[dbssh]

my take on starscream and windblade is i genuinely think their dynamic by the end of the series rocks. when starscream is incredibly fond of her and respexts her and sees her as not only an incredibly capable leader but a fundementally good and better person. and windblade is like 😬 starscream? well shes dead now so we never ever have to unpack all that. so uh. lets move on.

#SHE DOESNT FUCKING LIKE HER. #like i think if stsc had lived windblades general opinion wouldve been girl im proud of you and your #growth or whatever but like can you retire or something. stay away from me. #like i think wb meant it when she said she wanted stsc to get better and believed she could. but i dont think theyre ever going to be #friends. im of the opinion that death + the haunting is the best ending for starscream #and that its really the only environment for her that is conducive to fully truly healing and being at peace #like idk i think she was miserable and there would be no future in which people let her 'escape punishment' nor one where shes interested #in doing that even with bee and windblade in her corner. and i just idk #i think she needs space to be alone out from the public eye #and away from all the pressures that kept her spiraling over and over her whole life #and i just. the way exrid was set up i just dont think there was room for her to do that on cybertron #but i dont think shes healthy enough to realize that and leave #and i think 'noble sacrifice that returns her dignity and gives her comfort' #and 'true freedom to be herself no more and no less with the company of someone who actually likes and cares about her with no #responsibility or risk to her physical or mental health' #is like. really the best of both worlds i think it was good for her. #fix its where she gets brought back are cute and all but honestly i dont know. would she even want that. it would change everything #when shes finally for once comfortable and at peace #yk sometimes death is a GOOD THING IN NARRATIVES and she DIDNT EVEN REALLY ALL THE WAY DIE so like i thibk its fine. #i miss her tho. god i miss idw.

[vhgr]

pst, tell us about alicent. what drives her? what motivates her? how broke in her when she had to listen to damn otto making her cosy up with viserys? and how does she feel about rhaenyra after that?

so i actually rewrote this twice and both times i stopped at about the same length. problem is, i have different points to make so lets start with the smallest. i think above all alicent wants peace and freedom. being a queen, running a realm, ruling alongside someone, i think that's more of a result than a desire which she personally chased. she takes her responsibilities seriously, and that made her a good queen, adored by the people and respected by many but again, that never drove nor motivated her.

i think what alicent wants, in her core, underneath the layer of need for freedom and peace, is belonging. i think alicent seeks... union, i suppose. not specifically in marriage, i think ideally alicent wouldn't marry. but union as family, as a pact, as friendship. this is what makes her stick to otto, even if what he asked made her feel betrayed*. this is why, even though rhaenyra was once a sanctuary for her, alicent slowly let rhaenyra go. alicent is not a person who can forgive unconditionally. rhaenyra turned her back to alicent, lied to her, during a time which alicent needed her. rhaenyra's attitude through the years made alicent feel more trapped than she already was. but in the end rhaenyra is not her family, she's not her blood. i think a part of her will always long for her, but their fall through was not her doing, by her own reckoning. so there's a strange mix of yearning, betrayal and bitterness, a bridge alicent no longer cares to mend (yes even if in the show we see alicent try to make amends, i don't share that view anymore) after what happened to aemond. and tied to this, i think what alicent could never forgive of otto, was pushing her into a loveless marriage. sure there's respect and affection between her and viserys, but there isn't love. not in the way alicent would like. i'll briefly quote net!witcher here, even though i loathe it, but there's a line which goes 'i wanted to be important to someone'. i think alicent wants to feel like she counts. but viserys, in later years, never showed her that she counts, never showed that their children count. i think that, above all, is the biggest thorn in alicent's side. and i think that is what fuels her, above all else. to survive, to guard her family; and by family, i mean her children. any other personal need or desire evaporates when it comes to aegon, or helaena (or daeron, even tho we haven't seen him yet).

she's come to an age where that is her sole motivation. if someone threatens them, she's not above biting back. if imprisonment meant they'd be safe, she doesn't care for her own freedom. princess rhaenys at some point asks her, do you ever imagine yourself sitting on the iron throne? alicent's answer is presumably no and we're supposed to shun her for that. why? why should lack of hunger for power be a flaw or something to scorn? alicent isn't looking to serve or be the pawn of anyone.

and i'd also like to point out that alicent may be defined by her sense of responsibility, but duty is not her motivation. it's an aspect of who she is, but it's not what drives her.

*alicent understood immediately the nature of what otto asked. but you have to remember that, essentially, otto is her only kin within arm's reach. we never see her interact with her brother or talk about him and her mother died when she was young; we often feel like we owe things to our parents, we feel as though they're our protection, the only people we can depend on, our shield against the world. even if alicent disagreed with what otto was planning, she couldn't oppose him. because despite everything, he's her father. and i think part of her always wanted to believe that otto wanted what was best for her, that he loved her, that he wanted to protect her. if she begins to genuinely doubt that and shed it, what point do her sacrifices have? what's the point of what she's done, of her life? does it all go down the drain as one person's poisonously ambitions plans? she can't and will not accept that.

[ i'd like to make one last note in praise of ser criston cole. why you may ask. well, because, although much like otto and rhaenyra he has also committed his own kind of betrayal, he perfectly fulfills what alicent wants and needs in a way that's platonical and no ties to romance or attraction, just to showcast how it can happen with a relationship of different nature. criston sticks by alicent; defends her, protects both her and her children. you have higher expectations from people who aren't your family because no blood binds you; where rhaenyra failed, criston succeeded in relation to alicent. i thought it'd be good to point out since i talked about other dynamics between alicent and different people all in link to her motivations and her perception of them based on that. criston is in no way perfect; but he honours their bond. unlike otto, but he's her father and she can't shun him. unlike rhaenyra, who pushed her away. unlike viserys, who for the love of god calls her aemma and addresses rhaenyra as his only child. ]

people can say that it's a selfish motivation, wanting to feel important. but alicent is not a creature of solitude who thinks or wants to tread through the world alone. and as long as you seek relationships with other people, you'll expect them to treat you like you account for some to them. as a partner, as a friend, anything.

#* ──── 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 » character study . #this was actually hard to write because im doing my damnest to stay on point and explain this as properly as possible #so #yea #i guess homegirl just wants a bit of lovin #ive said it before and ill say it again mcu loki and alicent have a lot more in common than people may think #but also i wanna make a small note here #about divergence between book and show alicent #and how people say book alicent is better #of course people can have their own opinions but?? #i dont think power hungriness is a superior motive than others #i think sometimes people get too carried away with girlbossing #anyways #these are my personal two cents #i'll put alicent's dream life here #which is child-less indulgent in new experiences and hopefully eroticism but not necessarily sex #but i dont think her character would ever allow it #alas

[depresseddepot]

My brother failed his driving test (was so nervous that he crashed) and cried afterwards because he was so upset about it and I, in true estranged eldest daughter fashion, am sick to my stomach worrying that my parents gave him shit for it

#i don't even like my brother very much #hes conservative and shitty like my dad (tho he is only 16 so im holding out for a few years before i decide he's a lost cause) #but i am still The Third Parent #my brother is My Dad's Son TM so i sincerely doubt he would humiliate him abt crying/be anything less than encouraging #but knowing how they treated ME when I made a mistake is. making me extra paranoid #surely they wouldn't do it a second time. surely they've noticed how i never talk to them #surely they understand what they did to cause it and wouldn't do it again to their youngest baby. right? #he was raised so much more leniently than i was so i don't think he's quite as. like. #terrified or failure but not bc of the failure but bc of the repercussions from The Bosses #but man. man. i need a leather cord to chew on. #i know my parents are shit to their kids bc they were shit to me and now im worried they'll be shit to him! what a cycle #anyway. tonight i am drinking to fall asleep faster! huzzah or whatever #also editing this to add a prediction: yes i know i could just ask my parents/brother how they reacted. you misunderstand our relationship #i live here and take care of the chickens and feed their son while they gamble. we do not talk. not even casually. #i don't just 'ask' any of them what happened. we exchange facts about events and move on #sometimes we visit my grandmother and get too encouraged by a chatty environment and get into arguments #we disagree on fundamentally everything (other than polite manners in public. that is unbreakable and sound) so we don't talk #ive surpassed wanting their attention. i don't want to know their opinions anymore and they never wanted to know mine #tough shit i guess. who knew you needed to love a child as a child and not as a cute handbag to lug around #(especially when that cute handbag grew up to be not so cute anymore and fat and actually reacted to that shitty treatment) #anyway this post isn't abt me (but im my mother's daughter so i always make things abt me huh) #i feel bad for my brother and wish i had been a better sister #i know i had 3+ undiagnosed mental illnesses/disabilities but still #i hope he passes really easily the next time and he isn't as nervous and my parents help him fix his car without complaining #vent

[faust1926]

saw someone the other day say they wish they had a god complex cause it'd be a "good" delusion to have or something, and it's had me thinking bout how misunderstood a lot of experiences are re: delusions of grandeur, narcissism, and the like.

I don't have the exact words I want rn, but the reason these kinds of clinical traits are labelled as (symptoms of) disorders, is because they're, u know, disorders. they're not healthy for the person experiencing them. if these were healthy levels of good self-esteem, it would just be called "good self-esteem"..... so why then, do so many people assume that alone is exactly what these psych terms are describing???? if I had to guess, I'd say it goes hand-in-hand with the ableist stereotypes against these kinds of experiences. the "narcissists are inherently abusive monsters who hurt everyone else and never experience a single emotion ever" belief you see spread all across society, including and especially within "mental health community spaces"....

when someone experiences symptoms that, within their internal world, place themselves higher than others in one way or another, it's assumed by outsiders to be inhumanely malicious -- to an exaggerated degree. harmful to anyone but the person who's actually feeling those emotions firsthand. but these are disordering symptoms. not character flaws. first and foremost these symptoms negatively affect the person EXPERIENCING them. there's no plainer way to put it. ofc others can be affected too, but imo this is a second-hand problem. focus on supporting the person themself, and any issues their symptoms are causing others will naturally follow (within reason & assuming good faith).

but in the end where this puts me is just: no, you do not wish you had a god complex. it would not fix your low self-esteem, in all likelihood it would make it much worse.

#uhmmmhmhmhummhmhuuumm whatever just my opinion and 2 cents #brought to u by. my misanthropy has been coming back :-( not only is it one of the worst things to experience but it also SOUNDS so bad #and idk any more-clinical terms for it which doesn't help either lol #but it's been fucking me up. makes social interactions way harder and hasn't been helping my irritability at all. #between this and my narcissism (which I'm less ashamed of at least lol) I will just get SO gd upset when I'm not getting - #- enough attention or help from others or whatever. and in addition to needing to cope with my emotions I've also gotta hold myself back - #- from getting (genuinely) mean or (like what ended up happening today:) just straight up bursting into tears cause I'm so frustrated #.so these kinds of things aren't like.... ''extremely good self esteem ^_^'' ime. it's more like the constant feeling of an unmet need #combined with the constant feeling that everyone around you is an awful person who hates you #OR IDK! maybe I'm experiencing something else entirely. like I said ik misanthropy at least isn't even like... a real label here #but these kinds of diagnostic circles are the closest I've gotten to seeing the experiences defined #....it's just hard sometimes to tell the difference between what's real and truthful vs what's a bias stereotype. so idk for sure #does that make sense? I'm tired and today was hard.

[pennyserenade]

the fun part about being sick is that i have all the reason in the world to do nothing except watch cary grant be young and good looking in his early movies. am i suffering? a little, but i suppose that’s only a small price to pay to be able to rate them three stars just for how good he looks alone

#misc. #sometimes you should trust my opinions and sometimes you really should not #if it’s an early film of his and i’ve rated it anything more than a 2 1/2 stars im lying #sometimes he just looked so nice it feels like a crime to rate it anything less than a 3 1/2

[gibbearish]

am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes

#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit #and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While #like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days #we shall see #also ajr live fucks severely #the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience #like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad #like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go #so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times #notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with #and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what #idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath #much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck #so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb #the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares. #however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least #meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion #prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got #taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert #so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school #and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player #and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap #like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible #which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up. #the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow #her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated #like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most #and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills. #like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard #fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there

[crunchycrystals]

thinking ab hope the other side of adventure

#crunchyposts #games #i learned ab it throuhg the izzzyzzz video on it and my god. im never gonna watch a full gameplay of it #bc i know i cant handle it but ive seen a clip of the ending and the discussion in the comment section is so interesting #its a really interesting game and i think thats worth something no matter what someones interpretation/ opinion of the game is #also yes i did think about this bc i watched damsel. i think its super interesting too how so many stories will like #go in the opposite direction and say hey the princess can save herself #but i like that in hope they dont do that and instead explore what its like being the person who cant save themself #not everyone has the means to be able to rescue themself like. how many people were just more unlucky than elodie in the movie #were more tired not as smart just died upon impact on the rocks???? its not their fault they werent strong enough #thats not what the movie is trying to say but sometimes the pushback against damsels in distress can kind of put the blame on #those who really cant do anything like the princess in hope. shes not any less strong than elodie shes doing her best #this is also why i wasnt a massive fan of cinderella is dead despite being really excited to read it yk but yeah just my kind of long #thoughts on this trope and the subversions of it lol my brain has been rapidfire this week

[zims-left-antenna]

can't be pessimistic and depressed in peace without ppl from church criticizing ur family and giving out their opinions. honestly I'm so tired and everyday I understand more why nobody likes christians

#look. i was born in a christian household and we do our best #but sometimes life beats the shit out of you #and sometimes ur just too sensitive for life #and sometimes u need a rest from everything and everyone #and i dont go around openly criticizing ppl who are having a rough time and their families #or giving out my opinions who nobody asked for #first and foremost. i know thats rude as hell and just not nice at all #and second. i know that if im the one who does that then ill be the one who nobody will like #because i dont have charisma and much less an important surname #that would make me more instantaneously likeable at church #🙄 ppl are fucking hypocrites

[cherrysnax]

i feel like my life is over

#I used to have so many dreams #u know I wanted to be a dancer? #like for real #I wanted to be in cats and go on broadway n shit #I don’t have a sense of rhythm anymore #aometimes I’m just like #what it did a loopty loop and pull and just. pulled a better card in the next life #I don’t have a lot to lose but the things I do have are way more valuable than any dream I could’ve had #this don’t make sense #but man don’t I wonder sometimes #I don’t rlly care abt what happens to me anymore but I do know that ppl want me to be around #it feels rlly cruel #knowing that they want me to suffer #but that’s not what they see. it doesn’t define me. so it hurts but it’s also sobering in a way #I often fee like im balancing my hatred for myself and my love for the people around me on a scale #my parents r old and once they die their opinions don’t rlly matter anymore #my little brother doesn’t need me but that’s one less trauma . friends and my gf ofc know me. they know the closest to the real me #and some of them want me around. I don’t ever wanna make anyone feel like I did #esp not cj. It’s the fucked #up part of me that knows if I had to redo my life all over no changes at all just to meet them again I would #I’d do it all again. so like. why waste that because #im a lil suicidy. ppl die everyday that’s not quirky get a hobby me