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alarming-prism · 7 months

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i saw your response to the ask about a fic u wanted more positive engagement on and i just want u to know i read that when i didnt have an ao3 account and have been searching for that fic FOREVER like it drove me so crazy it was so good. like im the type who usually only reads happy endings but it literally plagued my thoughts for MONTHS it was so good.... their relationship was so deliciously awful i think its peak representation of fq during their era of nothing but raw hurt and festering resentment from misunderstandings and all the outside factors stressing them out.... so excited to watch fxmq irreparably hurt and damage each other.... also yes the writing was a bit confusing but like in a good way,,,, like if it had been less vague and more clear i feel like it wouldnt have been as enjoyable bc that writing style really fit the vibe of the story, it kind of pulled it all together ykwim? like i really loved how u wrote it i think it was perfect as is, i cant think of a single possible thing that could make it even better.... yeah, tbh just for all your fics, u have this way of setting a kind of atmosphere throughout that just really brings the whole story together, like i noticed it in the mq toy store employee fic and the broken threads fic too. im not articulate enough to identify or describe what it is exactly that u do, but u do it sososososoooooo well it drives me crazy. youre amazing <33 ok ummmm i love all your writing and i will easily wait another 10 years for a hint of a second chapter for this fic or any other works by u, so please take your time without worry, i hope u have an amazing day/night, byeeee :3 <3

i'll have you know that i had a super rough day yesterday + i'm currently sick rn and when i got this ask i started to tear up. you get me and you get exactly what i'm going for. i understand wanting happy endings but i'm also desperate to explore the part of fengqing that's in continuous conflict not through any fault of their own but because of their circumstances + who they are as people,, and i know that's not for everyone but it makes me so happy that you understand what i'm trying to do here lmao.

i think i'll legitimately have to rethink my entire life if it takes me ten years to finish the second chapter, but i just checked my fic tracking doc and i started it back in february so uhh. i can't make any promises but this did make me open up that doc again and nanowrimo is coming up so i'll have to work on something or other. and every time i actually start thinking about this fic again i start to go insane. i think last time i worked on it i made myself cry? i'm definitely just oversharing at this point but.

idk just. thank you so much for sending such a long, heartfelt ask. it made a shitty day infinitely better. i hope you have an amazing day/night right back <3

#ask #fengqing #thank youuu

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neige-leblanche · 2 years

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tell the people about mica? 👀 saw the tags of ur last reblog and i am Intrigued

aaaaaaaaaaa 🥺

mica is a character from a novel idea im proooooobably gonna try to do for nanowrimo! they are a young adult faery with white eyes, dragonfly wings, and a vein of shimmering silver running down the right side of their face. they are a hereditary general of the fey military (Swarm), and so they've never been called anything other than Mica (civil + military officials in this story all have stone names; they can be granted them as a marker of their entrance into the aristocracy, or born with them like mica). they were raised in the swarm, and take their duty very seriously, and in spite of having already seen many battles by the time the story opens and, well, hangining around soldiers their whole life, they are very introverted, ideologically sheltered, and know little outside of their warrior's way of life.

there's a bit of a romance between them and one of the soldiers from their unit, a faery named Tamias; tam is very extroverted and romanticizes everything, including mica, and when mica defects from the swarm and tam vows to follow them, this solidifies mica's viewing him as a possible special someone/person with feelings for them. after they are assigned by the puppet fey queen's evil advisor to go oversee the massacre of a human town, they start losing faith in their obedient lifestyle and the validity of the crown. they stall for a while, before being lured through the forest to an ancient cursed spear (potentially belonging to a backstory villain, idk yet lol). the spear slowly begins to ideologically twist mica into someone who is more aggressive, less obedient, and much more willing to take risks, and they then resolve to defect from the swarm and face the villain head on. they and tamias break into the faery queen's midsummer revels, believing her to be an imposter, and almost succeed in killing/capturing her before another character, the queen's childhood friend, convinces them that it's her and she's being puppeted. they escape with the queen, but are caught by the villain, and placed into a psychological prison. the spirit of the cursed spear goes with mica, and they have violent, bloody dreams until tamias successfully brings them to a brief moment of peace and wakes them from their dream. my current plan for the ending is for some other characters to bring down the bad guy, but for mica, seized by the spear's violent spirit, to deliver the killing blow, and then repeatedly stab the corpse until the spear breaks, taking a part of mica's own soul with it in destruction. tamias then goes to the queen and attains what he's been looking for the whole plot (officially recognized honor for his dead sister + a courtly stone name of his own); mica begs him to let them stay with him for the rest of their lives, but instead, in their broken state tam picks them up and takes them back to their parents, the swarm generals who birthed them into a military life.

originally i had planned for a really sweet and fluffy ending to mica + tam's story hahaha; im honestly Still debating whether i wanna go w this kinda-tragic one but i think i might like it better this way; mica's position is above tamias for most of the plot + i like the switcheroo @ the end; also i rlly love the "oh my god it was unrequited THE OTHER WAY" trope and want to see how well i can write it myself lol. on a more personal level i think they kinda are a metaphor for what its like as an introvert growing close to an extrovert lol, like so much of the time it feels Really Special but its just another friendship to them which i think has a rlly tragic quality that i'd like to convey w mica's story :')

#ask #sorry this is so long lololol #I STILL NEED A NAME FOR THE EVIL SPEAR BTW.........#gladius (queen's childhood friend) has a shortsword called Hyacinth i wanna name more weapons #TY FOR THE ASK #aaaaa

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themidnightdisaster · 4 years

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Slurp's Nanowrimo Journal

Day 1 of Nano

Woah there i was able to write three chapter outlines and gave all my characters their own professions and some traits.

I'm being productive icb. Hoping to finish these chapters before the week ends.

Q1 : What was your first piece of writing?

Overall in literature I would say it's a script for the trailer we made during the 7th grade. *im cringing on grade 7 self fr*

Then in fiction novel, a university au with my classmates as characters I wasn't able to finish it though.

Day 2 of Nano

Was able to write only like 200 words to end the first scene bc i taught my sis for her modular classes.

: ( hope i can make it up tomorrow.

Q2 : What time of the day are you most likely to write? Why?

If it isn't curious with my username, during midnights. The only time of the day where everyone is asleep and my surroundings is peaceful as well. Kinda not healthy but yea, I've been used to it since the start of HS when I'm procrastinating with school tasks.

Day 3 of Nano

My days are alr late I havent realized lol.

So I wrote approximately 500 words last night (a record I guess) and I'm going out today so I have a chance to refresh my mind! Wearing masks ofc hehe.

Q3 : Do you plan or just go with the flow? Why?

With social media aus, I don't plan like not at all. With novels, I don't too but I at least write my ideas vaguely especially when I think it's so mindblowing!

I feel drained when planning traditionally for some reason no one would understand and that includes myself. Lmao.

But for this nano, I outlined my chapters and the vague idea dumps are still there. We'll see what will be the outcome.

Day 4 of Nano

I surprisingly broke a record again! I wrote 2184 words today yoohoo! And i think i finally found a 1 hour writing music for me and starting tom ill be using that. Another miracle, i wrote those in the afternoon so thats why im sleeping early today. How i wish silence like this happens everyday.

Q4: Is a word count important to you? Why or why not?

Yep! I like it when I see my progress through time and it motivates me. But like... word count in a chapter? I dont think its that important. Every novel is different. We all have our own ways.

Day 5 of Nano

I finished my chapter 1 by 5 am so i did nothing writing-related today. I started watching a web drama series and binge watched Chicago Med by night (im planning to find the full episodes)

Q5: What's your favourite writing snack/drink?

I usually go with water especially at midnight since im always thinking by that time, "oh my maybe i havent drink water earlier yet maybe i should drink today" and food? Whatever we have in here.

Day 6 of Nano

Was able to write 1/4 of the chapter, yet im not contented bc i wasnt able to reach the scene i wanted to write. Im worried that i would break the streak tomorrow bc classes are finally starting again. Maybe i would go by 500 words per day. This week. Ill try.

Q6: Do you have a favourite place to write? Do you change it up or write in the same place every time?

I just want somewhere silent and peaceful. At night, I just roam around the house and feel the vibe. During the first days of Nano, I'm on my bed. Now, I'm comfortable to write on my study table even during the day as long as I have my headphones on.

Day 7 of Nano

I fucking have no idea how come im super late in this when i started on nov 2. Eh. Weird.

Anyway, i almost got frustrated when at the 23rd hour of the day, i wrote only 500 words for the chapter 2.

So i skipped to chapter 4. Wrote a flashback as an intro and yea, got 1500 words! Unfortunately, didnt add up for nov 9. So its for today.

Q7: Who is your favourite author?

Well, it's a local author from wattpad. Serialsleeper. She's the only author whom I will read everything whatever she writes! Her mindblowing plot twists, the humor, the characters. I love the way she builds up every character she makes, she makes everything relatable even when her forte is horror slasher! One of my unfinished works is inspired by one of her books. How I wish her books gets translated so she can also gain fame worldwide. She deserves it.

Day 8 of Nano

I didnt write anything for today (yea thanks to the bunch of modules for my sis) but im writing atm. Yea. Im writing on my birthday. What about it?

Q8: What is your favourite book?

This is hard... i dont have anything in particular. Like that all time fave. I love all the books ive read in their own ways.

Day 9 of Nano

So this is the day i literally wrote nothing. went out for lunch in a faraway place, had a celebration when we got home, and watched the half of sonic the hedgehog movie. We got some visitors sleeping over here too so i really wasnt able to write anything. We have no classes tomorrow so i hope i can make up.

Q9: What is the premise of your current project?

The nano one? So, it's a film maker who is making an attempt to reunite her old crew from College to join a film festival in their place. Ok its sound so boring yea but the thing is... it wont be easy for her. Why? Well, she left them hanging after the tragedy she herself made.

Day 10 of Nano

Welp im three days late. This is so bad. Today. Nov 13 i started writing again. And... i want to survive this chapter today !!!!

Q10: What is your favourite genre to write? Why?

Slice of life? That's where I relate to. Friendships, to be exact. A romance story that only not focuses on the romance itself, but also the characters' friendship with others. That's where I guess, comfortable writing about. I got the experience, I got hurt because of friendships too. So there.

Permanent Note : came across this amazing idea by @emotionalfig that i will be answering in the every day! Yay, go try it too!

#nanowrimo #writing journey #let me finish this novel dear universe

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porchwood · 5 years

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Hi just so I understand cause i keep waiting for it and it doesnt seem likely to happen have you kind of fallen out of love with wtm? and everlark in general tbh? cause ive been following you for a while now and you always had lil quotes and pictures and things that reminded you inspired you whatever it was about katniss and wtm and now alllll it is is gadge i followed you because personally i love what you did with everlark and im just wondering if thats gone and not foreseeable any time soon?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to answer this… It’s afair question - to a point. If you’re more of a drop-in person (like me) thanlive-on-the-dash, coming back to find my blog awash in Gadge might have beenquite upsetting. There are several reasons for the current state of things:

1. Life has been driving me into the ground since December26, 2013. (Yes, going on six straight years.) If you were a WtM reader from thebeginning, you may recall that I was pretty energetic and prolific in 2012-2013.Oh, there were tough times, but nothing like what started on the aforementioneddate (a car accident where I was in the “bystander” vehicle and it still got totaled)and has continued relentlessly ever since. Sometimes adversity leads to greatcreativity and sometimes it turns you into a depressed, exhausted, reclusivelump, and the past 5+ years have seen periods of both from me. These past 18months have been exceptionally awful (and expensive), resulting in very littlewriting at all, about any pairing.

2. Writing WtM takes a lot out of me. I don’t know whether thisis common knowledge or not, but it’s the gospel truth. I love that world, Ilove that version of Everlark, but every chapter requires so much hard work, itmakes me tired just to think of it. Not to mention, over the past couple of chaptersEverlark have been pushing for more intimacy than the plot/timeline allows, andso I’ve been struggling with how I want to handle that. Do I fight them andstick to the plan? (I can’t advance the timeline for several reasons.) Do I tryto figure out a cheat for them? They’ve got minds of their own and have changedmy plans multiple times, but this is something they genuinely can’t have, and Ihave to fight them on it. ☹ Which is sad, frustrating, and exhausting.

3. I’m a multi-pairing shipper, and have been from about 3chapters into WtM. Which means that my Everlark fics almost always feature asecondary pairing (or more than one), and sometimes I’ll get a plot bunny for afic about a pairing other than Everlark. Most writers in the THG fandom exclusivelywrite their OTP, whatever the plot bunny, but I find that some plot bunnies don’tfit Everlark as well as they do another pairing. (This is why I’ll never write aBeauty and the Beast Everlark fic unless Katniss is the “Beast,” if you will.)

4. The Everlark fandom is…tricky. I’ve never fit in there. Idon’t write Everlark the way the majority of fans see them (except for Peetabeing “sweet,” I guess), I hated the movies (I refuse to see MJ 1 or 2), and I’vemanaged to really rub some people the wrong way over the years –unintentionally, and for a variety of reasons – all of which leaves me feeling kinda down about Everlark in general. Don’t misunderstand me: I love Everlarkand WtM, but it’s really isolating to be this sad little island of unpopularopinions and unwelcome side-ships. That’s the part I really wish I could makeyou understand. For six years I’ve had Christopher Plummer in my head saying, “You’llnever be one of them,” and he’s so, cruelly, right. I want to cry every time Ithink of Embracing the Season (my E-rated Everlark modern AU oneshot for Lovein Panem - lots of daring for me!) because I poured heart and soul into that andit still wasn’t the Everlark that people wanted.

5. About a year and a half ago (when Strawberry Time reallytook off of its own accord) I participated in Gadge Day 2017, working my buttoff to find and schedule (and tag) over 100 carefully chosen Gale/Madge/Gadge aestheticposts, and for lack of a better way to say it: it turned on my Gadge-dar. After that, thosekinds of posts just leapt out at me whenever I had a chance to scroll, and forseveral months I wasn’t sure what to do with that. With a little encouragementfrom @ghtlovesthg, I came up with #march madgeness – wherein I turned my Tumblrinto Madge/Gadge-land for one month, and it was a blast. (Side-stepping Gadgefor a moment: Madge is a highly underappreciated and underused character,especially in fic/on Tumblr and I love splashing the dash with Madge-love.) Thenext month I launched a run of pent-up Everlark posts (i.e., regularprogramming), but I missed my Madge, so I instituted #madge monday – one day aweek when I could splash the dash with Madge/Gadge. At every juncture I gavepeople tags to block if they didn’t want to see this content (though I stillget unfollows every time I post, alas). I participated in last summer’s THG Reread– on the fringe of it, but my posts (reblogs and meta) were strongly Everlark-focusedagain during that time. So there’s definitely still been Everlark on my blog,but if you’re just dropping in (or for that matter, glancing at my archive), you’regoing to see a majority of Madge/Gadge.

6. Frankly, Gadge is fun. It’s a completely different dynamicthan Everlark, with less pressure to create something transcendent, and whenthe chips are down, I’m more likely to work on something that isn’t my six-years-runningopus. This spring, in the midst of lots of awfulness, I finally wrote a piecethat I’ve had in my head for years – The Best Part of Waking Up – with a differentpairing featured in each drabble “chapter,” including Gadge, Luka/Johanna (whoI’ve been wanting to put out there for AGES) and Jack/Raisa. I haven’t beenable to write quickly in years, and I think I finished those three “chapters”in about two days, maybe three. I completed the Raisa drabble in a couple ofhours and I consider it one of the best things I’ve ever written. (Honestly, ifa pairing was going to topple Everlark in my heart, it would be Jack/Raisa, i.e.,Mr. Everdeen/Mrs. Mellark. I love them to distraction.) Once upon a time I could drabble/sprint Everlark too – notoften, but I could manage it. Maybe it’ll happen again someday, but for thetime being, when I write in quick eager bursts, it’s usually about aside-pairing.

7. Because I just need to say it: about a year ago, I set up a secondary Tumblr for almost all my side-interests and ships outside of THG. When I first joined Tumblr, porchwood was just a fun page where I posted whatever struck my fancy (pretty things, funny things, whatever I liked), and over the next few years, I honed it into a pretty “writer’s notebook” for WtM and my other THG fics (related quotes, aesthetic posts, writing check-ins, etc.). When Star Wars: The Force Awakens came out, I shared a handful of posts pertaining to a new ship (not a new direction for my blog or writing, just sharing my excitement) and it was made very clear to me that people didn’t want to see that content on my page. So when I started watching Voltron: Legendary Defender, I had a sneaking suspicion people wouldn’t want to hear about those ships either. So I started an entirely new Tumblr for that content, and every so often I accidentally post something to the wrong page, which I immediately correct in horror, but people still unfollow. Point being: this blog is THG (and a few personal life updates) ONLY, with a pretty consistent aesthetic. I hide literally everything else that I’m interested in so you don’t have to be bothered by it. Is it really so unacceptable for me to have side-ships (complementary to the main pairing, not threatening to them) in the same universe??

8. Believe it or not, I’ve been working on WtM all along,just not making any massive strides. I tried to chip away at the current chapterduring Camp Nanowrimo last July, and it was a disaster. I thought joining awriting group would be helpful, but I didn’t realize that Camp Nano is basicallya lot of writing sprints in which you try to churn out as many words aspossible, which you then report to your “cabin” – and that’s the onlyinteraction with your fellow writers. I can’t write like that anymore (seeabove) and especially not when it comes to WtM, so I got discouraged veryquickly and sort of drifted away. I reattempted Nano on my own in April and wrotealmost 15K words, but in that instance I was really just using the Nano platform toset and reach a goal (which I didn’t ☹ ); I wasn’t in a cabin and didn’t interact with anyother writers, except my friend @ghtlovesthg, who read the finished portion.

9. I want to finish this dang chapter so much, and frankly, theonly way that’s going to happen is if life gets a little better and I holemyself up with my laptop for hours on end for weeks at a time – and somemagical being comes to support/cheer/comfort me while I do so. It’s currentlysitting at about 25K and I anticipate it will need to be at least double that,which is beyond ridiculous, but that’s the nature of WtM. The chapters are asmany words as it takes.

TL, DR: I still love Everlark and I’m still working on WtM, but my life has been extremely difficult for a very long time and I don’t have a great Everlark lifeline. Gadge and all my other ships are fun, and most of the Gadge you see on my Tumblr is aesthetic stuff for themed days/months/occasions. Anything non-THG goes on my sideblog.

#queued #i'm sorry to be snappy #i understand the confusion #and i'm not happy that i'm not finishing wtm either #ask #gade #side-ships #anon

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teddylawrence · 4 years

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task 001 baybee!

PREFERRED NAME — bri

PRONOUNS — she/they either work fr me tbh

AGE — 22

TIMEZONE — est

HOW OFTEN ARE YOU ONLINE? — literally too much.......... like if i’m not online on my laptop i’m lurking on mobile it’s a Problem

HOW DID YOU HEAR OF WATERSHED? — i’m friends w the asshole who Created It /:

DISCORD — chocalety milk#0458

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — uh my personal is here n my pinterest is here im always down to give out twitter n insta too if anyone wants it :B

MYER-BRIGGS — istp

HP HOUSE — slytherin

ZODIAC — gemini

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — like a lot yes an embarrassing amount i am, in fact, that white girl that asks what ur sign is like 3 minutes into meeting them im not PROUD of it its jst me this is real this is me

DO YOU ENJOY ASTROLOGY? — i have the gemini symbol tattooed on me.

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — i think like 13?? or 12 i cant remember tbh

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — 2011 or something i dnt wanna do math thts jst a random guess

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — the magic returns, it was a next gen harry potter rp tht i was in fr im not kidding my entire high school career

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — idk a kangaroo i think........ i kno they can actually b super aggressive and r jacked as fuck bt its rly cute when baby joey’s r in their mama’s pouches

WHAT PET DO YOU GENUINELY CONSIDER GETTING SOMEDAY? — i want another cat so bad and i’d like to have a dog again someday tbh

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — the first song on my discover weekly is 2all by catfish and the bottlemen n i put my spotify on shuffle too n the first song that came up was imaginary parties by superfruit

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — i think besides to kill a mockingbird, brave new world by aldous huxley was my fave??

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — i genuinely can’t even think of a book i hated......... maybe the great gatsby, its my english teacher’s fave n she was hyping it up sm but it jst kinda bored me??

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — i’m binging stranger things with my mom rn and shameless on my own, both r Dumb Good i’m quite obsessed.................

WHAT FILM DID YOU LAST WATCH? DID YOU LIKE IT? — i finished texas chainsaw massacre like the original with my bf and i thought it was rly boring NSDGLJSKDLGH film nerds everywhere b spitting on me rn /:

FAVOURITE QUOTE — i genuinely don’t think i even have one............ there’s been a few that’ve always Touched Me bt i can’t even think of one rn

LINK TO A VINE / TIK TOK / VIDEO THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this bad boy right here

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — i’m attempting nanowrimo but it’s frankly not going well and other than that?? i haven’t in forever but should start again tbh

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL LOVE & TRUST — noel miller, cody ko, chris klemens

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — harry styles until the day i die baybee!

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i met kurtis conner at the last 1975 concert i went to it was quite awkward i cld jst tell he did not want 2 take another picture LHSDGLKHSDG

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — tbh in the summer all my friends and i do is sit in my backyard drinking beers and playing card games so that

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — the mandela effeect

ARE ALIENS REAL? — yes ofc u cannot look me in the eye and tell me we’re the only living species in the universe

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — /: i have 4 diff versions of candy crush on my phone...............

PLAY ANY OTHER GAMES? WHICH ONES? — i was never allowed to play like any computer/video games growing up so i jst never did it was a sad childhood

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — i can’t think of one....... maybe surfs up i was obsessed with that when i was little bt i bet if i watched it now i wld hate it LSHDGKLHSDLKG

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — ticket stubs from the movies i go to, weird like vintage/homemade jewelry tht i never wear, old coins, etc.

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — politics tbh

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — spanish, latin, mandarin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — tangled........ i went thru a phase fr 2 months where i watched it every day i was so obsessed...........

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — rue from euphoria probs the most tbh

IS THERE ANY MEDIA (BOOK/MOVIE/GAME/TV SHOW) YOU FEEL CHANGED YOU IN SOME WAY? — maybe the harry potter series...... the biggest rp besides this one i was in was based off it n what not so

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — like now tht i have a bf who likes sports kind of?? my whole family loves watched the blue jays baseball and maple leafs hockey games so i Sit There bt i dnt rly . care tht much JSDGKLHLDSG

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — /: reading?? fkin...... Drinking, i do some music stuff tht i need to . focus on again

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — uh?? watch chris klemens on youtube if u dont

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? (IF NOT APPLICABLE, WHO DO YOU LIKE MOST IN THE TWILIGHT SERIES) — i was jacob when i was younger now? alice and jasper........ the Real otp of twilight

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — the lighthouse

DO YOU STILL READ FOR FUN? — not as much as i wish i did /:

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — the furies fr the watershed book club

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – i didnt hate it rly i like talking abt myself quite a bit its jst the truth

#wshtask #wshtask001 #:B

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burlybanner · 5 years

Text

Syzygy

Notes: New story. Will be putting it in installments, probably once/week. This is more or less to keep me honest with writing it. If I don’t, I won’t finish. I know me far too well. It’s a monster, probably close to NaNoWriMo levels if I’m honest. But it’s a nice monster. Note the tags.

Syzygy

Rating: M (themes/language mostly)

Pairing: Stark Spangled Banner

Special note: an AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).

Summary: They’d always been a triad - sun and moon, encircling a heavenly body...

***

The question was so out of the blue, so perplexing, so - fuck no, he must be losing his hearing - insane that Tony dropped the spanner. It bounced and clanged angrily across the lab's cement floor causing one bot - U - to chirp softly and pick it up. U tried returning it to its creator by repeating bumping against his leg, but Tony focused on one thing right now. One person.

"Run that by me again?"

"You heard me." Bruce Banner stared at an oil smudge between their feet. It was twisted in an odd shape, reminiscent of pancake-shaped licorice. "I don't think I need to repeat myself."

"Oh hell, no. No." Tony yanked the spanner from U's grip and tapped his shoulder with it while pacing the floor. "You don't drop a bombshell like that without giving a guy a hint. What brought this on?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah, honestly."

"It looks comfortably soothing, I’m tired of running, I like who I am...and." He bit down his response, holding it between his teeth, but Tony could see Bruce mentally shifting gears - frustratingly choosing to conceal a portion of truth. A skill Bruce was, unfortunately, still good at doing.

Bruce sighed. "Maybe I'm warming up to full-on pampering from you and Steve. Do I really need to explain myself?"

"All right, fine. I...get it. Sort of." Tony paused mid-pace and gave Bruce the side-eye, but not without sauntering over to his extremely significant other while poking him in his gut (and Tony's finger sunk in a good five inches, before Bruce swatted his hand away).

Like diving into fresh dough, Tony thought wickedly.

“Stop that.”

"Whatever. I'm just saying, you're what. Three-sixty? Three-seventy?"

"Three-ninety."

Tony tutted his tongue against his teeth, his eyes scanning Bruce from head to toe. He'd overlooked how round and jowly Bruce's cheeks had become and how much more his heavy belly wobbled over his belt like an over-inflated water balloon.

Tony slowly scraped his lower lip with his teeth and let his libido drink in Bruce's delicious form. His fat had dissolved all his chiseled edges, smoothing them like candle wax, dimpling him in places Tony never expected to notice. Arms, legs, face, chin, chest, neck - even elbows and fingers Pillsburied up into scrumptious fat. Bruce'd blown up like a county fair attraction and Tony couldn't tell where he'd even put on the extra twenty; Bruce’s fat had settled into all his body’s spare nooks and crannies. All that lovely jiggling Jell-o. Waiting for touches, prods, tickles, and gropes—

"Earth to Tony," Bruce muttered, snapping his fingers in Tony's slackened face.

Tony snorted, pretending Bruce hadn't mesmerized him and turned him so the fuck on. Was he becoming more like Cap these days? Wouldn't doubt it. "ANY-hoo," Tony said, grabbing a rolling chair. He took inventory of Bruce more thoroughly by rolling around the scientist, taking a good 360-look while Bruce stared at his circular pattern.

"Are you trying to orbit me?"

Tony laughed. "No. Although that could be an experiment for another day." Tony poked and prodded Bruce’s flab, freely grabbing fistfuls of his favorite butterball and fluffing his ample butt cheeks.

"Tony," Bruce cautioned.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist."

"What are you plotting?"

"Me, plotting? Perish the thought. I'm planning, Banner. I have ideas, I have a million ideas. But we're gonna have to get Cap involved. He'll want to know."

Bruce fidgeted somewhat, which surprised Tony. Didn't seem like something Bruce would be shy about.

"So soon?"

"Well, yah, the sooner the better." Tony narrowed his eyes at him. "What's bugging you, Care Bear?"

"Nothing," Bruce said, but Tony didn't believe him. He let it slide as he rolled back to his desk.

" 'Nothing' for now, babe, but I'll challenge that declaration later." He did a quick calculation in his head and pulled up Jarvis' keyboard. "J, open a new file for me. Call it, 'Operation Supermax.' "

"Seriously?"

"Don't mock the name, Brucie Bear. It's not like I had time to come up with something better."

"New file created," Jarvis intoned, flooding the room with his soothing AI voice. "Would you like to add to it now, sir?"

Tony grinned at Bruce. "Scan Brucie for me, Jarvis. Put all his current vitals in there. Show us what we're working with."

Jarvis threw up a 3D image of Bruce‘s body and stats. “I will say, I'm quite curious, sirs."

"So‘re we, J. Especially interested in what'll happen after we tell Cap."

Bruce looked less enthused at telling Steve, but whatever. Steve was their partner; not telling him would be ridiculous. "Sure you don't wanna say why you're lookin' grim?"

"I'm not grim," Bruce stated, and Tony waggled his finger at Bruce's lie.

"Not my monkeys, not my circus. But you know Steve'll get it out of you if I can't, Pooh."

"I know."

"Easier to rip off the band-aid."

"I said I knew, didn't I?"

"Fine, fine." Tony toggled a few buttons on his keyboard. "J, call Steve down. We're gonna have a family meeting."

But Steve relayed a message through Jarvis saying he'd meet up after he'd finished his workout. Bruce had grabbed five pounds' worth of snacks and wanted to wait for Steve in the media room, but Tony cajoled and wheedled him until he caved. Which was why he ended up joining Tony in the exercise room instead, ogling Steve's lifting routine. Well, “cajoling and wheedling” wasn’t exactly right, to be fair. Watching Steve work out was a damn privilege.

"I feel like a stalker," Bruce muttered, unwrapping one of his remaining chocolate bars. He wasn't not staring, though.

"He probably knows we're here. He says he doesn't, but I think he does. I'm just obeyin' my thirst."

"Quit watching those dumb commercials." Bruce scarfed down his jumbo Snickers bar with two or three grateful grunts and gulped down his soda. And no, Bruce's Adam's Apple bobbing so deliciously up and down did not mesmerize Tony. Certainly not.

Nope.

"Mmf--and/or, get off social media. Sounds like you’re trying too hard to fit in with the cool kids."

"Heh. You can't tell me Steve doesn't like teasing us right back." Tony pointed his chin at Steve powerlifting weights rivaling Thor's class. "Look at 'im, you can't tell me he's not a thirst trap."

Bruce made a face as he tossed his wrapper and soda can in the trash. "Definitely too much social media."

Tony's eye lingered over Bruce's dwindling dragon hoard of snacks, which teased a lecherous smile from his lips. "You startin' early, or what?"

"Gotta keep up my strength."

"Mhm." Tony went into his head, thinking about how Steve'd go bonkers. In a good way. Probably in a good way. "You know Steve'll have his own ideas. You gonna let him go hog wild?"

"Oh, hardy-har." Bruce tore into a packet of mini donuts. "Yeah, okay, fine," he grunted. A smattering of donut crumbs sprayed from his full mouth before he put a hand to his lips to stop them. "You figured out why I'm apprehensive. Don't rub it in."

"I'm not tryin' to, Brucie. In fact, I think you're blowing this up way out of proportion." And don't think Tony didn't recognize the pun, even if Bruce didn't. He casually watched Bruce scrape crumbs from his shirt. "Don't you think he cares enough that h--"

"Oh, hey, fellas!"

Steve finally noticed them salivating in front of the spy window. Which was what Tony called it. Really, it was a breezeway with a window to the exercise rooms so folks could check for occupied training floors. But Tony mostly used it to indulge his naturally nosy nature.

Steve grabbed a fresh towel and wrapped it around his neck while Tony bit his tongue. Making lewd comments was tempting and although Steve wouldn't have minded, Bruce would get skittish if he ramped up the tension now. And if Bruce bolted, well...kinda made what he was about to do moot.

"What's up?" Steve dabbed sweat from his forehead and plunked next to Bruce on the thirst trap bench. His cheeks reddened when he noticed the mound of opened goodies. "Is it an emergency? Fury call us in?"

"Oh, nothing like that," Tony said. He propped his feet beneath the breezeway window. "Bruce has something he wants to say."

Bruce wiped powdered sugar off his lips while swallowing thickly. "Well, not...exactly."

"Yeah, ya do, exactly," Tony said, nudging Bruce's shoulder. "Boy Scout," he said, calling to Steve. "D'you think you could steel yourself enough to not act like a kid in a candy store?"

"Tony..."

"Bruce, hon', it's all good. Steve," he started again. Poor guy already looked five kinds of confused. "It's something that'll affect the three of us but unless Bruce explains with his big boy words I'm not gonna help him."

"Traitor," Bruce huffed.

"Only way to kick you out of the nest."

"What," Steve said, finally getting a word in edgewise, "the hell. Are you two talking about?"

Bruce shot Tony a narrow look before turning to Steve. "It's...it's not enough," he began slowly. "I-I mean, we're fine," he stuttered, gesturing to each of them. "We're great. But I want. I want more. And I'm not sure how you'll take it."

"Just know," Tony interrupted, "I'm on board 100% if you are. But I'm looking at this from a scientific perspective more than--"

"I thought you said I should tell him."

"Well, you're taking too long, Banner. Cut to the chase!"

Steve held up a hand, motioning both to shut their traps. "Thank you," he said once they quieted. "Now. Bruce. Muffin." He stroked Bruce's chubby cheek and Bruce melted like butter in his hand. "Gimme the specifics. Let me decide if I'll be okay or not with whatever it is."

But Tony could see the small trembling smile on Cap's features; Steve was noticeably scared. He made a face, hoping Bruce hurried it up before causing irreparable damage.

"I want," Bruce sighed heavily. His glance went back and forth at the men in his life, then to his hands. "I'm not exactly happy at my current weight."

Steve's lips thinned. He looked like someone had taken his favorite toy away, but the expression fled before Bruce caught it.

Tony noticed, though.

"So you want to lose weight," Steve sighed. He kept his voice level but Tony detected his disappointment. "Well, I understand. It's not like we expected it forever and--"

"No," Bruce interrupted, quieter than before. He wrapped his hand around Steve's, stilling the man's jitters. "You've misunderstood. It's...ah. It's the opposite."

Steve's cheeks flared while Tony choked back laughter from Steve's startled expression.

"W-what? You wanna gain more?"

Bruce slowly nodded. "I know you've always been encouraging, and you seemed satisfied when I tapered off. But I really like it when you and Tony feed me." Bruce reached for Tony's hand and rubbed his thumb across their knuckles. "I like breakfasts in bed, lazy nights watching B movies, and eating crappy takeout. I like feeling overstuffed, and the headiness the feeling brings me. I think I've gotten as large as I can on my own. So I'll need help from you and Tony to get...um. Larger."

Steve visibly gulped. "Um. H...how much larger are we talkin'--?"

Bruce glanced Tony's way, and Tony encouraged him with a nod. "Um. To a point where I can stay sedentary. I'm happy at home - I'm happy here. With us. I don't want to run anymore, and I want to feel grounded. Literally. So--"

"He wants to become immobile," Tony explained, butting in again. "Which is no mean feat, with his metabolism. Even with Bed, even with all the snacking and meals he gets, he's probably leveled off. But if we're talkin' immobility, we're probably addin' another three hundred to him, more or less."

Cap let out a shaky sigh. "Whoa..."

Tony shrugged. "Again, more or less. Depends on what 'immobile' means to a guy like Bruce. 'Course you know," Tony said, sobering. "He's wouldn't be totally immobile, not really." His dark eyes roamed Bruce, emphasizing the seriousness of his next words. "The only way that would happen is if we separated him from the Hulk."

"Which I'm not asking for," Bruce quickly piped. "That's not my goal."

"Good. 'Cause that's more than my paygrade. What'dya think, Spangles?" Tony turned to Steve. "You in, or what?"

"I...I'm not even sure." His expression remained pensive before hovering between Tony and Bruce. "I think I want to understand what that means before I agree to it. It'll change our 'rules,' our dynamics, the team--"

"Absolutely," Bruce agreed. "But I guess...I'd like to retire, if that's okay. From the team. I've already spoken with the university--"

"What?"

"You have?"

Bruce motioned for his boyfriends to calm down. ��"I'm not giving up teaching, I'm just switching to an online format. I'll still be an adjunct but I won't teach in person or in front of a classroom. And besides..." He sighed, but a small smile teased his lips. "I won't be mobile enough for a classroom. At least that's what I'm hoping."

Tony shared a look with Steve who looked both mesmerized and stunned. But then Tony noticed something else a sly, (dare he say it), evil mastermind grin on Steve's face rivaling their greatest enemies.

"Steve. Your bad boy expression is showing," Tony muttered.

"I know, I know," Steve breathed. "But I kinda I wanna know how soon we can start."

Part two: https://burlybanner.tumblr.com/post/185854349769/syzygy-2

#syzygy #bruce banner #tony stark #steve rogers #chubby bruce banner #more warnings to come as story progresses #has some dark elements to it #magnum opus piece #stark spangled banner #infundo #infundo au #chapter 1 #starkspangledbanner syzygy

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things-we-used-tc-share · 5 years

Text

Manifestor // 12

Warnings: Fighting, death, violence

Ships: None (Thomas/OC later in the fic)

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7/Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11

Plot: Set in a world where Witchcraft is real, and the government hunts down those who practice magic, Thomas must flee to an underground safehouse after being discovered. Now fighting a war against Witches who seek the end of non-magic people, Thomas must learn to control and harvest his powers, as well as the manifestation of his sides to bring about peace and unity in the Human and Witch world. (Nanowrimo 2018)

Thomas is not a runner. He hates running, or to be honest anything that requires any form of fitness level over “beginner,” which for his current lifestyle, is not exactly adequate. His lungs scream in protest whilst his muscles clench and cramp, but he doesn’t have the time to focus on his physical pain right now. Adrenaline pumping through his body and sweat clinging to his skin, his life is in danger.

Jack seems to be better at this, more agile, fast on his feet, but even his stamina is running very, very thin. They didn’t even know where they were running too, only that the ground is wearing thin underneath them and hell was hot on their tails.

Thomas gives out first, in a dark alleyway as he coughs up whatever air is left in his lungs “I physically can’t run any further,” He forces out, voice rough and clinging to the constriction of his lungs like time flowing through the hourglass. His companion leans against the opposite wall, gasping for air as his head leans against the brick, rubbing a hand over his face and rubbing his eyes. “We’re not going to win this one Jack,” He says softly, defeat laced along his tongue. “It’s not worth the perishing of an entire city just for me,”

People are running past the alley, the tell-tale sight of smoke and fire shimmers in the horizon and Jack wants to say that Thomas was worth every single person on this earth, his best friend, his student; a boy so in love with the world would now be forgotten by it. He doesn’t say anything however; he just sinks to the ground with a numb display sewn into where an expression should be.

Thomas moves over and sits next to him, in the silence of the blacked out sun, they sit and wait. “I’ll die before I let them take me,” He says firmly, the first spar of bravery or stupidity, that was yet to be seen, since he’d discovered he was a Witch. Jack nods; there are tears in his eyes as he studies his own hands.

“I know,” Is all he says for a moment, accent thick amongst the waterfall trying to pour from his already blue eyes, “And I will too,” He grasps Thomas’ hand maybe in a show of solidarity, maybe in the name of friendship, even he doesn’t know but the bronze eyed man is grateful nonetheless for the little comfort he can receive. They’re not really hiding, only recharging for the inevitable as they sit still together and begin to talk.

“So that thing Anti did before he like…possessed you, how did you do that? How did he do that? I didn’t even know that was possible,” He wants all the answers he could get out of Jack, if this might be the last time he’ll ever get to ask.

“That’s called repossession, it’s something that takes years of training as a Manifestor to do normally, but Anti has always been a difficult bastard so I mostly had to train to stop him from doing that, Sophie said it’s likely to be because of an early exposure to a lot of evil, making Anti and me at a 50/50 odds over my own body so I had to train to get him down to about 25/75, it wasn’t easy, he’s not an easy person to deal with and he’s always talking at the back of my head,” The Irishman sighs, he sounds so very unbelievably tired.

“He’s uh…pretty terrifying, I thought Logan was cold and unemotional but he’s…he’s just sheer anger in a human shell, what’s with the neck cut?” Jack stiffens visibly, jaw clenching, shuffling nervously.

“He tried to kill me, us, all of us, himself, he didn’t entirely have a reason it’s just all some fun to him, he’s not afraid of death and that’s what generally makes him so fucking terrifying,” Thomas squeezes the other man’s hand, two martyr’s waiting for death on the cold ground of a dirty alleyway in an unnamed coast side city. The outside air drifts over their faces and despite how foul it smells, they’re both happy to see the outside world again, feel the sun burning through their irises and taste a breeze heavily polluted by the product of humanity.

They sit in silence for what feels like an endless forever, shaking from the cold and the fear, until darkness is cast from one end of the alleyway. “Isn’t this precious?” The voice sounds like it is hissing, like pressure being released from a tire as the two clamber too their feet. “Or pathetic,” There’s fire brimming at Jack’s fingertips already and Thomas is desperately trying to recall if he’s ever heard one of these things talk, ever. “Thomas Sanders surrender yourself, you belong with us, not these pathetic creatures of light, you are a Witch, not a human’s toy, and Witches should not to live as such,”

“I’ll pass thanks, bloodshed isn’t really my thing,” His voice is shaking. The creatures steps forward, its skin merging with the bone of its skull, the teeth protruding from it in sharp and blackened needle formation. How did these things become so corrupt? What causes such a deformation? He doesn’t get an answer as the eyes of the creature blinks firmly, full of shadows, and raises a slender hand.

Thomas ducks before the creature has a second to flick it’s wrist, sending fire hurling wards them; in an instant he’s summoning ice from the flick of his wrist, impacting the creature seconds before a wall of fire descends from Jack and engulfs its skin. The creature, the Dark Witch, extinguishes it, pulling the ice from its body like it was merely a scratch. “Fuck,” Jack mutters, stepping backward “Anti,”

Thomas blinks, stepping away as Jack’s body crumples, glitches like a computer virus or a video game character. Darkness shrouded him as the tips of his hair darken and his eyes turn black, his body merging into something different. Thomas swallows, he feels no safer with Anti than he did with these creatures but he knows Jack still has some control over the glitch. The sharp teeth glint and blood begins to collegiate on the pale skin of what was Jack’s neck.

“That’s more like it,” the dark eyed creature cackles, their hands ready to form fire but Anti is faster. Impossibly fast in a way that physics is sure not to co-operate with, his body glitching in and out of physical existence until he’s placed himself behind the witch. Taking his cue, Thomas summons Earth in the form of needle sharp, spiked plants that string from his hands with brute force, wrapping around the body of the other and pulling impossibly tight, restraining and damaging the vessel of whatever monster lay within. As he carried out his attack, flame erupted against the figure at Anti’s hands. Bound by elements beyond its control, the creature can only struggle and scream at the sensation of being burned alive.

“We will get you Thomas, no matter how hard you fight,” Thomas steps forward, the flames flicking in his irises. He says nothing. He has nothing to say and honestly he isn’t sure what to think, somewhere in his mind Patton slinks into the shadows with closed eyes. As the creature suffocates, Antisteps over the lifeless body and leaves it to burn. With a glitch, Jack is back and resting his head against the wall once again.

The two stare at each other with nervous expressions, taking deep breaths of air that smelt of burned flesh. There was no going back from their nature now.

@analogical-mess // @unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @creativity-killed-thekitten// @theresneverenoughfandoms // @charmingprincey // @aclickonapostwillchangeyourlife // @heck-im-lost // @k9cat // @stilljittery //@romansleftshoulderpad // @sanderssideslibrary // @max-is-tired// @therealmoshar//@punsterterry// @trashypansexual// // @demigodnamedathena// @sevencrashing//@misunderstood-shadow // @aphriteblack// @jemthebookworm//@sandersandthesides// @penguinkool// @georganabanana//@importantrunawaystudentstuff // @ao-koshka // @dangerous-doodle // @river-waterfall // @hell-or-high-waters // @no-sleep-gang-posts // @wxlcomxtothxjunglx

#sanders sides #thomas sanders

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alwaysfcward · 7 years

Text

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

NAME : Amanda NICKNAME : Mandy FACECLAIM : depends on my mood XD PRONOUNS : she / her HEIGHT : 5′ 11″ BIRTHDAY : July 1st AESTHETIC : harry potter/Slytherin, vivid hair colors, pumpkin spice everything, glasses, writing, reading, coffee, workaholic LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO : I can love you better - Dixie Chicks FAVORITE MUSE (S) YOU’VE WRITTEN : All my harry potter muses--- no literally all my muses are my favorite

GETTING TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT :

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON THIS MUSE : Well it all started with Ar/row actually and my husband watching that show when season one first came out mixed with tumblr blowing up with ol.icity. I had seen bits and pieces of it and asked him a few questions when he was watching it one day and was like “Oh yeah I’ve seen that on tumblr they say the shirtless guy is gonna end up with the blonde chick with glasses” and he was like “Oh yeah her? I mean maybe but its Bl/ack Can/ary and Gr/een Arr/ow in the comics so they won’t last” and I was all like “IDK tumblr says otherwise -insert rl shrug emoji here-” and then one day I was bored and season 1 and 2 were on netflixs so I started watching it on my own.... fast foward to mid season 3 arrow and went ‘holy shit I need MORE’ so I made a Felicity blog. Fell into the fandom that way blindly and because I loved Arr/ow so much I watched the fl.ash the second it came out and... I forget exactly when but I remember just loving Ir.is as a character and being emotional over the show so she was my second indie blog ever and I just remember everyone being super happy I was going to write her that it helped inspire me to do so!

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE : I love her strength. I love that no matter what gets thrown her way she always can pull herself together. I love her sense of humor and her don’t-underestimate-me-just-because-im-a-woman attitude. I love that even though she’s not a scientist or genius that her opinions still matter and a lot of the time she helps those genius’s look at things from a different more street-smart point of view. I just really love that she is a strong female character.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING : ugh that is a good question. I’m usually pretty inspired in general so long as I’m not having any kind of anxiety or depression. Music helps. I need to actually have something playing to prevent me from being distracted. I don’t like silence, and then of course plotting really helps me-- oh and ANGST. Angst inspires me so much.

FAVORITE TYPES OF THREADS : Going back to that angst thing here, yeah that’s my favorite. It inspires me more than anything else can. If you give me angst it inspires me to give more and for that reason its something i love.

BIGGEST STRUGGLE IN REGARDS TO YOUR CURRENT MUSE : ugh. time? I tend to spread myself thin with having so many muses. Plus a haunt I volunteer for just ended only for me to now go int nanowrimo WITH holiday things on top of that for work. It’s a lot to juggle but I try.

Tagged by: @alwaysxlate

TAGGING:@nationalcityy @detectiveprettybxy @ownhcros @dawnofspeed @theoreticalguardianangel && everyone else who wants to do this!

#ooc;; the mandy tag

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sadwriterperson · 6 years

Text

November 14th, 2017

Just gonna throw out there that this is really long, so read on if you've got like 10 minutes to spare.

Alright, hello again, I'm writing this real early because I can't sleep. I work a lot of 3rd shift at my job, which is fine until I can't sleep when it's dark out, haha. Im starting this at 10 after 5am and I've checked all my social media, checked all the mindless games I keep on my phone for no reason, and now I'm here, still wide awake and bored as hell, and I could use this time to catch up on the nearly 12000 words I'm behind in for NaNoWriMo, only I'm so incredibly unmotivated that I thought, why not finally get around to writing about Tristan Haynes, my main character, and some overall backstory to how this novel came to fruition. There are a lot of ins and outs to this, a lot of pieces of my life weaved into this, so I'll try to make that all make sense.

So, Tristan, my good human, I hurt him more than I should, but, I'm hurting all of them more than I should. The character of Tristan goes way back into my past, starting when I was 6 years old. Growing up and even in my more recent years I would have these dreams that when I woke up I swore they were real, and a few I've had have actually happened, more than I'd like to admit. Some aren't as big, but, they still get kinda weird, an example of this is when I was in grade 8, just shy of 14, I had this dream that my best friend would buy this necklace, she was the definition of the goth kinda person, and it fit her, the setting was in our English class, the first class we would share that day, 3rd hour, so around the 10:30ish time frame and it didn't happen right away, it took a few weeks, but, she came to school wearing the necklace I had the dream of. That's just one instance in a long life of thousands of dreams, but, they still happen like this. So Tristan, he came way before that, and in this dream, I'm trying to find this white house over the hill, and I keep walking, the sidewalk is endless, and the grass on the side of me, my left side rises into a wall, a stone wall and then without explanation I turn around and there is Trit. That's what I called him, Trit, and I don't know who he is, why he existed, but, he was standing on the lower side of the stone wall, the grass was fake, turf, is what my brain supplied to me mid dream and under the corner of this turf, Trit points down and I follow his lead pulling out a red notebook, it wasn't an important notebook, just a regular red notebook, like you can buy anywhere for 94 cents at Wal-Mart. He smiled at me and even tho he was standing right in front of me, he sounded miles away and it was like the breeze was talking to me and I heard "you found it, you found it" I followed it, Trit at my side, following the breeze I would find the white house in the middle of a field of long grass swaying peacefully in the wind, Trit runs ahead and I follow him into it and then wake up.

Trit became this beacon, I've never forgotten that feeling of peace, and Ive carried Trit in my head for years, using pieces of that dream in countless stories I've written, but, I've never been able to describe it as well as my dream showed me. It will truly always be one of those things that unless you're in my head you will never be able to experience who Tristan is to me, but, I'm Trying.

So fast forward, people come and go, die, grow apart, and without going into to much detail because it's a time in my life I don't care much to talk about, i believed I was the reason someone died, and it genuinley broke my will to live, and I took that out on myself, Lord did I, and then after carving words into my legs and some other good depression stuff I adopted the phrase "My decision for living isn't mine to decide" a lyric from the song "Hole in the ground" by Twenty One Pilots, the band that's saved my life countless times, with lyrics I relate to on a molecular level, and decided that I was going to write. I had to live with my decision, i needed to learn to live with my guilt, and over the period of a year I got better, but, at times it would break me over again and while it's better now, it's still kinda raw. Anyway, so I decided I was going to write this story - Only the long grass remembers - and it was no debate who would be the star of this story. Deciding Tristan was my main character was the easiest part of the entire process, and I wrote the first chapter in 15 minutes, and thus the second character of the novel was born. Parker Middleton was born, and he plays an important roll in the novel that is important to many and I hope will be responded well too when someone finally reads this thing, but, that won't be until I'm at least 30000 words deep probably.

After writing the first chapter, and deciding that Trit couldn't just stay as Trit, i knew I needed to get a real name for him, and all of me couldn't bear to part with the name of him so I knew it needed to be as close to Trit as I could get it and that's how he got Tristan. Well, sorta.

HERE COMES MORE BACKSTORY

So August of 2015 I started watching the CW show: Supernatural. Binge watched it hardcore and later on would do roleplay as the characters on Facebook with a bunch of people and we were all super tight knit, not only because we bonded over the show, but, because most if not all of us were and are dealing with mental illness or some other physical ailment and we all used the RP and the community to keep each other alive . On top of that, there were the actors if the show, Jared Padalecki one of the main stars of the show suffers from mental illness, and so the actors all bonded together to make campaigns for people suffering, and they are along the lines of 'always keep fighting' and 'you are not alone,' and so it felt important to me to tie in these people with these great causes to this story that I'm writing for the same reason, you know? Its because of this mindset that I decided Trit would become Tristan. So Jared Padalecki, he plays Sam on supernatural, and he is who Trit is physically paired with for the novel, and it was in this I decided Trit would have a twin brother - Ross.. Trit didnt have family in the dream, but, it felt wrong to me to not include Ross, because Ross is based after Jared Padalecki's co-star Jensen Ackles. It would be wrong because they're currently on their 13th season of Supernatural, and a commonly used phrase is 'Family doesn't end in blood' and after 13 years, Jared and Jensen truly do see each other as brothers, and I wanted to incorporate that into the story, and wanted to link them both together in a binding way, and it worked out really well, all things considered. Their middle names are what binds them from my from the real world, to my mind to the page, respectively:

Jared TRISTAN Padalecki

Jensen ROSS Ackles.

Is this all making sense? Its a lot, or it feels like a lot at least to me, but it's 6:02am now.. So that may be something to do with it too.

I should probably try and sleep again, so I think I'll end this here, but, I hope that it makes sense why Tristan is so important to me, because he's been with me for 15 years.

Not only just Tristan, but, the dream is why the novel is called "The Long Grass Remembers"

It's all connected, and its important that I keep it as true as possible, to do justice for me, for the people I've met online, for friends lost, for the actors who gave them a name, for the musicians who helped me through for the musicians who breathe life into this story every single time I write, the people in my life who have shout outs, for the people in my life for as much as they may make me angry, ground me, for who they are, are motivation for me to be a better person then I was the day before, the story is for me, and no one else. To many times have I stopped writing out of fear that the people I know won't like it, because I'm revealing to much of myself. It's why I stuck in the horror genre for years, horror was easy to write, but, this, this is for me, and I am revealing all of it, and I'm ready, Trit at my side once more, only this time, he won't just stay in my head, now everyone gets to know him, and my heart is warm.

Thank you for sticking through this long winded, rambling, less than stellar wording from Bry, have a beautiful day or night.

Stay tuned, stay hyped and most of all, stay alive!

-- Bry

#nanowrimo 2017 #nanowrimo #nano 2017 #writing #the long grass remembers #tristan haynes #parker middleton #ross haynes #depressive #dreams #rambling #why am i awake right now #stay tuned #stay hyped #stay alive #stay hydrated #day 14 #Im dying lollll #been listening to g eazy while wtiting this

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