#ik dick would never space like that to forget a whole child but it was for the drama and he had a lot of stuff going on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

phantom-0-writer · 7 months

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prompt 03: angry colors

inspired by this post abt dick

tbh idr like this that much but it was a real big brain itch so i thought i'd air it out

Dick came back to his apartment much later than he intended, losing track of time while he was tracking a lead he had gotten for a case. He sighed as he slipped through the window of his apartment, taking off his domino ready to face the mess he knew he had left the apartment as. But when he turned into the kitchen the dishes that had been piling up in the sink were gone, and the sink was even cleaned and shining in a way Dick hadn’t seen it ever do. Instinctively he checked the cabinets to check if he had been robbed, but the dishes were inside, clean, dry and put away.

Confused, Dick opened the fridge to get a cold glass of water only belatedly remembering he had forgotten to fill the jug up in his rush to get to work that morning. But there it was, full of water, the frost around the glass providing evidence it had been in there for at least a few hours. Maybe past-Dick had done him a favor that present-Dick had forgotten about.

Gulping down the cold water, Dick headed towards the bathroom to freshen up and change into comfy sweats. The bathroom was through the living room, where he knew he would find a tower of pizza boxes weeks old, and crumbs would crunch under his feet. There was a pile of dirty laundry that was left in his bathroom floor that he should probably take care of, but Dick couldn’t find the energy in himself to put in the effort.

“Maybe tomorrow.” Dick mumbled to himself for the 5th time that week, as he trudged through his apartment. His crystal clean apartment. There were vacuum marks on the carpet, no pizza boxes, and the pillows on the couch had been arranged and fluffed. The flowers Kory had given him were pruned and placed beautifully in a glass vase he knew hadn’t been there that morning. The TV was on, he noticed, his current show ready to play at the press of a button, and remote placed on the corner of the sofa he always sat at.

“What is happening?” Dick asked himself out loud, befuddled. He checked the room for cameras or listening devices. Nothing.

Alfred wasn’t the type to drop by for a surprise visit and leave without telling Dick.

The bathroom was also a victim to whatever happened to the rest of his apartment. The floor had been mopped, the clothes were gone, the toilet, shower, and sink were clean and organized. There was even a clean towel and Dick’s favorite lounge set ready folded by the shower. The grime on Dick’s body felt out of place in the pristine apartment.

Dick would definitely be looking the gift horse in the mouth. But maybe it could wait after he showered.

While he showered, Dick let his mind wander. He thought about the strange newfound cleanliness of the apartment, wondering what or why it could’ve been. Was this another Tim situation? Something nagged at the back of Dick’s mind, something important, but he couldn’t remember what.

That something important was in the living room, head snapping in Dick’s direction as the bathroom door opened, and standing at attention.

Holy shit. Dick forgot he had a kid. He’d forgotten a whole child was living with him now.

Oh, he was such a dick.

“I didn’t hear the door so I didn’t know you were home yet.” The boy- Daniel - rushed to explain when he caught Dick’s eyes on him.

Still grappling with the fact that he had fully forgotten there was a child he was supposed to be taking care of now, Dick said the first reasonable response that came to mind. “I used the window,” Daniel already knew about Dick’s night job as Nightwing thanks to the circumstances Dick had found him under.

Dick wasn’t sure why that answer had elicited a panicked apology from the 8 year old. But Dick wasn’t sure what had happened to Daniel before he had found him, but apparently they would have to dig into that at 4:30 AM. Maybe Dick should call off work tomorrow.

Dick tried to get closer to Daniel but when his shoulders seemed to go impossibly more stiff, Dick took the sign to stay in his spot and kneeled on one leg so he would be face level with Daniel. “Daniel,” Dick made sure his voice was calm and inviting but the boy still flinched, “Did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, sir.” There was fear in Daniel’s eyes that Dick couldn’t help but be concerned by, but his voice was even when he spoke.

“Why?” Dick asked calmly, making sure to keep his body language open.

Daniel looked startled by the question, eyes darting over Dick trying to find the answer he thought Dick was looking for. When he couldn’t find it he looked around the room. Dick watched him, waiting for his response. “Because,” Daniel started hesitantly, voice shaking slightly, “Because it was dirt- messy.” his voice was a whisper as he spoke.

“But you didn’t make that mess, so why did you clean it?” Dick prompted, fearing for where he could see this conversation going.

“So you- so that-” Daniel looked like he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond.

“I want you to be honest, Daniel. You won’t get in trouble.” Dick added quietly.

Daniel tried to decipher if he was lying, a familiar analytical look in his eyes. After a long moment Dick wondered if he just wouldn’t respond. But when Daniel answered, it hadn’t been at all what he had been expecting. “So that you wouldn’t be angry at me.”

Coupled with his earlier fumble of forgetting the kid, Dick felt like he had just been gutted. “What?” Dick heard himself say. Daniel looked alarmed at the reaction, so Dick spoke again quickly. “I’m not angry at you Danny,” a nickname he had given the boy slipped onto his tongue, “I’m not angry at all why would you think so?”

Tears were beginning to well in Daniel’s eyes, “You are angry.” He sounded scared, his voice wobbly.

“I promise I’m not angry. Or mad. Or annoyed. Or irritated.” Dick reassurances seemed to do nothing for the boy. The reservoir under Daniel’s eyes was getting fuller, threatening to spill. So he tried a different approach, “What makes you think I’m angry, Danny?”

“Because the-” Daniel tried to find the words, so Dick waited. “Your heart has angry colors.” He finally said.

Dick tried to decipher what that meant. Angry colors? He’d have to circle back to that later. “So you cleaned the apartment because you thought I was angry?” Dick summarized.

Daniel nodded, he considered something for a moment. “Jazz said that if you’re good at something then people will like you and not be angry. And I’m good at cleaning.”

“Did the people you were with before get angry at you a lot?” Dick asked, trying to keep his promise of not getting angry.

“That’s why I cleaned.” Daniel nodded.

Dick forced himself to stay calm. He may have a meta child that could sense emotions in his hands and he did not want to test that theory by blowing up in front of him.

Not a child- he corrected himself- his child. Danny was his son. And maybe Dick didn’t know how to be a dad, but he knew how not to be a dad. And that had to be some kind of start. Today would be a one time thing, Dick promised himself, and Danny would never know and never feel like he was forgotten much less by his dad.

He would save the conversation about that for the morning, after a good night's sleep. “How about some ice cream, since you worked so hard?”

#dpxdc #batpham #danny and dick #danny fenton #dick grayson #richard grayson #biodad dick #danny had his accident early in this au and one of his powers is that he can always sense pple's emotions #dick found out abt danny w while ago #implied child abuse #danny was in a children's home before this which is where he met jazz #their caretakers made them do chores to “earn their keep” or some bs idk #ik dick would never space like that to forget a whole child but it was for the drama and he had a lot of stuff going on

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hintofelation99 · 3 years

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Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.

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