#ignore this if you've already been tagged or just don't want to do it lol

[killerkillerkillher]

Bound to Fall in Love

Angel/Demon! 141 x reader

Tags: kidnapping, sacrifices, religious references, reader is too angry to die, reader commits murder lol, canon typical violence??, reader gets a kissy on the forehead, a tad crack-ish

Inclusivity tags: reader is referred to w he/him and they/them pronouns, no bodily description, no y/n

A/n: call my brain an apple w all the worms it's got. This was just a blurb at first, but I made room in there for me to potentially make it into... something I guess.

minors dni!

"Cole, I can't fucking focus while they're just... staring at us like that."

"Ignore it, Bess. We have to finish these candles."

You wish a bolt of lightening would come down and strike all three of you at once. Or maybe the building spontaneously combusting would be better. Anything, anything, would be better at this moment than watching your boyfriend and best friend work together to light a summoning circle after having tied you up in your sleep.

For a fraction of a second, you wonder if any gods are watching, if any of them would be willing to give you a boon and allow you one last chance to punch both of these betrayers in the face.

"Okay, okay, the book," Bess mutters, going to the pick up her ritual book from the coffee table you bought. Honestly, if they were going to try to sacrifice you somewhere, your living room is one of the most disrespectful places. Probably right under your bed room.

"I'm sorry," Cole has the gaul to look down at you with a face stricken with grief. Like you're dead already. "We didn't know what else to do. We're both in bad places and you've always been so good to us, so we figured-"

"You better hope this fucking kills me." You grunt. Cole's face melts into a glare. "Because if I'm still breathing, it's going to take more than Satan's intervention to save you from me. I swear on my mother." You jerk forward, making him jump back a step.

"Cole...?" Bess looks at you, then up at Cole with unease. Cole doesn't say anything for a second, sorting his feelings out with a leer before turning to her.

"Read the book."

He drags you into the middle of their pentagram while she sings Latin words off the old book pages. The candles flicker and waver before their flames grow twice as tall. Cole rolls you onto your back and pulls a knife from his back pocket.

"I meant it when I said I'm sorry," Cole mutters. You snarl, but don't jump at him like you want to.

"Yeah? Yeah, you're sorry? Kiss my ass!" You shout over Bess's reading. "If I'm still alive after this, I'm killing you and burying you in the fucking septic tank!" You crane your head up so you can see Bess as well. "Time to get some stuff off my chest, yeah? Bess, I fucked your older brother on the day we graduated."

Her eyes go wide, and she almost stops talking, but Cole shoots her a look that forces her to continue.

"And his friend Carl, the one you had a crush on. And Cole? I never. Fucking. Finished. Ever! You are the only person I've dated who couldn't get me off." Cole's hand's twitch around the blade.

"Are you serious?"

"Does now look like a time to- ack!" You don't get to finish because Bess finished the spell and it was time for your blood to fuel it. The blade buries in your gut, turning this way and that way at measured increments. You just lay there and twitch, breathy gasps falling from your gaping mouth, the pain only throwing fuel to the fires of your rage.

"Please, we call you here! Honor us with your presence!" Bess chants. Cole step away from you when the candles roar and your vision is filled with bright red and orange.

The ground beneath you rumbles. Whispers fill your ears, nothing you can ever imagine understanding, but something tells you they're other summoners. Or maybe little souls of those who were just where you are now, with a people sacrificing them.

It's odd, you think as blood soaks your back, your hair. You thought you'd be more scared in what could be your final moments. But there's only anguish where there should be fear. Only unfettered violent tension felt in your muscles, and a tongue hungering for iron and gore. You're jaw is wound tight enough to shatter your teeth.

If you could think straight, if you weren't about to die, you might be a little concerned. Never have you wanted to sink your fingers into someone's soft bits as much as you do now. This is normal, right? A normal amount of rage for the people taking your life.

Something in your gut tells you it's not.

In the fog of your rage, you missed the appearance of a pair of men above you. They hover, leathery plum colored wings sagging. One wears a leather strap harness across his chest, while the other favors an unbuttoned silk shirt. One of them looks at you curious as the fire dies, steam and copper colored smoke bellowing from his mouth. A thick cigar hangs on his lips.

"You came! There's... two of you?" Cole gawks, then falls to his knees beside Bess. You can't help but scoff at their sniveling forms.

"We did. There are." The one without the cigar brushes back his long mohawk to get a better look at the whimpering humans. They're nothing new to them, just another set of weak little things looking to get something without putting in the work for it.

Well, they might have had to put in the work to capture you, based on the way you still squirm and fight the rope keeping your arms together. So much blood has left you. You are going to die. Yet you spend your last moments doing what most humans find to be a waste of precious time. Being angry. It's interesting.

"What do you want?" The bearded one in the silk shirt grunts out around his cigar. Bess lifts her head just a bit to speak.

"We want to make a trade. A soul for a better life for us."

There's a moment of silence. You blink your heavy lids, growing too tired to do much else anymore. Both demons look back at you, then to the kneeling humans.

"They're not dead." They say at the same time.

Bess and Cole stiffen and finally chance a glance at you. You're bleeding, a glassy look to your eye and a smile on your face, but you're not dead.

"See, Bess?" You cough up blood only to swallow it back down, "what did I tell you? The cunt can't make me come and can't... can't even make me go."

The mohawked devil pops a wicked smile, not even hiding it from his would-be contractors.

Cole fumes. "I can finish the job. Fuck, am I going to finish the job." He stands, moving to step into the circle only to yelp, the invisible border around the summoning circle becoming visible if only to shock Cole back.

"Not so fast," the bearded one spawns a scroll in his hand. He's eyes glow a molten orange as he scans it. "Section 1, clause 3, part 19 states: executioner(s) must sacrifice one(1) human soul to contractee(s)... Let's see... Here it is: Sacrificee(s) must be dead upon arrival so that proper collection can be done. If sacrificee(s) is still soul bond upon arrival, then they are made the true contractor and all work will be conducted with them."

"In other words," the mohawked one grinned, "you should have went for the heart." He taps at his chest.

"Or the neck." The other devil offers.

"Or that vein in they're thigh."

"The sephenous, Johnny."

"Yeah, that."

"No, no!" Cole grabs at his hair as Bess looks like she's about to start crying. You want to laugh. They deserve the despair. They deserve the horror in their mistake. They were going to kill you!

"That means," the devils lean back to look at you. "You're our contractor. You get two requests at the price of one, human. I suggest one of those requests includes healing you." He flicks the ashes of his cigar on your leg. You don't even have to think of what you want most right now.

"I want you to untie me." You roll on your side. They wait for the rest. Cole and Bess look like they're going to shit themselves from the pale faced looks of terror they give you. Your eyes narrow. "And a hammer. A old fashioned iron and wood handled hammer."

Another beat of silence before the infernals bend over in laughter. The room shacks, sulfuric smoke pouring from their mouths to funk up the room. Cole tries to cox Bess to her feet while they're distracted. Their feet can't move though. It's like they're glued in placed and no amount of pulling and tugging could get them loose. Shame.

"Yer a funny one, love. I'll love having your soul for a few eternities." The one in leather floats over you, tilting his head this way and that way to get a good look at you. You settle him with a neutral look. "My name is Johnny. You sure that's what you want? I think you've only got a few minutes left in you."

"Then let's hurry this up a little, huh?"

"Ooh, you heard 'em." The cigared one snickers and snaps his claws. Two contracts appear in front of your face, both written in a language you can hardly comprehend. A pen appeared in front of your mouth. "Sign on the dotted line please."

You take the quill in your mouth, dip it in the blood beneath you.

"Rah 'ere?"

"Mhm."

You lean forward to dot the paper with your sloppy signature, but bizarrely enough, it seems like the powers that be have decided that they haven't made enough appearances. The floor trembles, and you worry about your poor infrastructure for a fraction of a second, when a set of gold doors spawn right behind you. You roll back onto your back to intake everything. You swear you're hallucinating when a pair of white winged angels step out, the clouded blue of heaven at their back.

"Hello?" You greet stupidly. You must be losing your mind, right? What the fuck is happening.

"Do not sign a thing." The bronzen angel instructs. "Human, we are here as messengers. God sees great things for you in your ascension. Please do not squander that to these demons." He shoots a sharp look at the demonic pair. The angel's counterpart wears a white cloak, obscuring all but his glowing golden eyes. You half expect him to sing "Be not afraid." despite you actively shitting bricks.

Oddly enough, their appearence seems to have some sort of healing property. Your lethargy starts to clear and the blade in your gut starts to get pushed out. Nothing hurts anymore.

"Oh, so we've got a big soul on our hands here, huh?" Johnny smirks. "Price, what's the plan?"

Price the devil throws his cigar to the ground and crushes it.

"Do what we do best. Bargain."

"Don't play with us, Price." The shrouded angel grunts. He's got a mind piercing voice that's got your head ringing, and you swear it echoes despite the room being well furnished. "We can provide them with just as much, if not more, at no cost of their soul." Those gold orbs land on you. "All we ask for is your faith."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" You tug at your bonds with renewed vigor. The angels wince at the mention of their Lord, but only watch as you force yourself upright. "I could not give a rat's ass who gets what! How about this? First one to get me free and a hammer in hand gets my loyalty."

There's two resounding snaps from either side of you. The ropes disappear, a hammer is in your left and right hand. You don't think deeper on what that implies. You finally stand, dropping the hammer in your nondominant hand, and march over to the two people you thought you could trust. They kneel now, seemingly ready to beg for their souls.

"Come on, don't look scared now." You drop your hands on your hips. "What happened to you finishing the job?"

"I didn't want-"

"Say it with your chest." You poke his breast plate with the iron hammer head.

"I didn't want it to come to this!" Cole yells. The divine audience doesn't say anything about it. They watch you curiously as you bounce the hammer in hand. Your soul is visible to them. What should be a glowing ball of light is a red and white morning star, all sharp edges and pulsing like a heart. Your soul will certainly not end up with the others, that much is true.

"I just... I couldn't keep up with you! Your life style, the way you act, your job. I never left good enough. Bess expressed the same thing and we just... clicked. We would have just left, but we could have never lived without struggling, so we just..." He swallows. You can't look at him anymore, hands clenching at what he says next. "The book called for someone we cared for."

''That supposed to make me feel better?" You tilt your head. Cole winces, eyes falling on your feet. You look to Bess. "Thought you were better than this. You were going to kill me. Because what, I was happy? I loved both of you, you could have just talked to me."

"We're sorry! What more do you want?" Bess sobs. You straighten up, bouncing the hammer on your hip, acting like you next action is something to deliberate. You already know what they deserve, and a flash of sadness bubbles in your chest, but it quickly passes as a hot, searing emotion burns a hole into what little hesitation you had left.

"Reckon I want your souls after all the shit you've caused." You grin before swinging the hammer back and caving in Cole's chest.

"Fuck..." is all you can say after everything is done. Cole and Bess lay in a bloody heep, all recognizable features destroyed and crushed. You pant, hands trembling and nothing but white noise and static crunching around in your head. You just killed your best friend and boyfriend. For some reason, you've never felt so light.

Someone's whistle gets followed by a clap.

"Impressive. Done that before?" Johnny chuckles. He floats closer, hand running down your back as he moves past and pokes around the pulped organs. "Shite, did them right in. Can't tell which is which."

"I've never-" you start to answer, but hands are clapped onto your shoulders, shocking you into silence.

"Well, that was a good place to start, lad. Your swings were a bit sloppy, but we can fix that." Price squeezes at your trapezius, massaging the stiffness out of them. A throat clears, and Price sighs like he forgot there was other company.

"We aren't finished. The human is our ward now, Price." The uncloaked angel snaps his finger, pulling you from Price and making you spawn between the two angels. The bronzen angel smiles down at you with teeth so white you could damn near see your reflection.

"There you are. It's nicer to have you close. My friend here is Simon and I'm-"

"Come on, Kyle, you know he's ours!" Johnny spits, his wings flaring out. "We gave him the hammer first, so piss off."

"Uh...huh." Kyle's smile falls. "I think you're a bit mistaken. Look, after executing the human's request, I have his name here." A stone slab appears in front of your face. It's smells like sunshine and warm grass. What the fuck. "His pledge to the Lord has been set and his soul already has a place next to Their throne."

"Right, right, like we don't have documentation neither." Johnny huffs. The stone disappears as a scroll appears next to the devil. The smell of sulfur and smoke wafts over to you. "His name is right there, pretty boy. Getting yer fuckin' lookers on."

Kyle ignores the rude tone and does pull out a pair of reading glasses to go over the scroll. You stand there in the silence, a little too scared to speak up. What could you do anyway? In a blind anger, you didn't really have the mind to think any of this out. Angels and devils are fighting over you because you'd stupid ass was too blood hungry to think past murder. All that can be done is for them to figure this out amongst themselves, and for you to wait for the sentencing. Heaven, or Hell?

"...Simon." Kyle slowly pulls his glasses off. "This is legit. His soul is promised to all of us."

You glance up at Simon, the scary motherfucker. He blinks. Once. Twice. Then pinches the bridge of his nose with a hagard sigh.

"Shit."

That's not good.

Johnny laughs, Price grinning like a dog with a bone. Kyle marches over to you, patting your shoulders with an awkward smile. His demeanor reminds you of the way your mom acted when she said she was going to divorce your dad. And all you can think is "Not this again." Are you going to be spending your afterlife going between heaven and hell forever? Does God get weekends because Their day is Sunday or whatever?

"We need to go and talk this over with some superiors. We'll clean this up," Kyle snaps and the gore is gone, so is the ritual circle and candles. "And we'll get back to you in the morning." He places a feather light kiss on your forehead, and suddenly you're squeaky clean and in the softest set of pajamas you've ever worn. "Stay safe while we're gone and don't allow these two to influence you. Get some rest."

"Blah, blah, blah," Johnny mocks from the sidelines. Price tilts his head, and there's nothing but amusement behind those eyes. Yeah, this is exactly like your parents divorce.

"O-okay? I mean, I'll try." You shrug.

Simon nods. "That's all you can do." He steps back into the golden doorway and Kyle falls in stride. You make some distance, and with a final wave from a white toothed angel, the doors shut with a slam that shakes the house's foundation.

"Just you and us now, stud."

You turn with a comedic slowness to the devils. Price chuffs and floats forward. His assess you, takes you in in all your fluffy white pajama glory, and it seems he finds what he wants when he nods.

"Guess we've got to talk with top brass to see what's going on ourselves. Pity we couldn't stick around longer." The devil's eyes never meet yours, staying glued to various parts of your face. They hop from ears, to your eyebrows, down to your lips. Christ on a bike, is it getting hot in here? His blue, glowing cerulean eyes appear to flash with something.

"Shite, yer right." Johnny groans. "I hate going down there."

"Suck it up, love. You know how I feel about sharing." Price drops his interest in you like an old toy and takes Johnny close by his waist. You watch with a lead poisoned stare as their noses touch intimately, words you can't hear being exchanged. It's kinda of awkward to just stand there and watch but your brain isn't really functioning well enough to tell you to stop.

"Hey, stud." You blink, refocusing on the pair. Johnny seems to have climbed his partner, his legs on his waist and arms around his neck. Price makes busy opening a portal to hell in your livingroom with one hand, supporting Johnny under his ass with the other. "Sit pretty, yeah? 'll be back before those two arseholes, promise."

"Right... yeah." You nod. "Uh, be safe?"

"Be safe, he says." Price mutters. "Cute." Johnny waves until Price steps through the infernal hole and falls from view. The portal closes right behind him so you'd have no hopes of seeing anything but the red hue of smog and dust.

And here you are. A little dazed, a little sad, probably holding back a break down from the last hour of events. But you're alive and you're healed. There's no blood to clean, you're in comfortable pajamas. Could probably sleep right now if your brain would stop for a minute, but it doesn't look like that's in the plans.

So you look for something to do. Cole and Bess and moved around all your furniture to make the summoning circle. Guess you can start there, right?

#ghost mw2 #price mw2 #cod modern warfare #gaz mw2 #soap mw2 #call of duty #angel/devil au #141 x reader #141 x male reader #poly!141 x reader #let me cook! #LET ME COOK!

[444meat]

genuine question for any CDD/traumagenic systems that ID as trans in some way because we've been struggling with this topic lately

**if you have already done one of these, just pretend it doesn't say "plan" and answer with what you've done — i couldn't figure out how to concisely word this to make it include both those who are planning to or in the process of medical transition as well as those who have already completed their transition

hrt = hormone treatment, so like taking estrogen or testosterone

gender-affirming surgeries = any kind of surgery intended to affirm your gender identity, such as top/bottom surgeries and facial harmonisation/feminisation/masculinisation surgeries

this isn't intended to put anyone down for whatever they choose and nobody use it for that or so help me. there's no right or wrong answer. i just haven't seen much discussion around this anywhere and i'd reeeally like to hear about the experiences of other trans systems when it comes to this because ohhh man has it been a hard thing for us to work out.

edit: please ignore the typo with "hr" instead of hrt, i cannot fix it lol

#my blog is tiny so if anyone wants to reblog this for reach? #did system #did #did osdd #osdd #osddid #dissociative identity disorder

[rosepascal]

Anywhere I would follow you || Joel Miller x Reader

summary: Joel comes knocking on your door 3 weeks later with a girl and in need of help.

warnings: swearing, readers got a sad backstory, mentions of family death, episode 3, Joel might be a little OOC and I apologize, mentions of guns but no gun use

a/n: Disclaimer: This is not following show or game canon. The reader is kinda in the role of Tess but I will not be going episode by episode and I will not be following the plot exactly. Anyways I really hope y'all enjoy. Its been a hot second since I wrote anything over 1k words lol.

Part 1 || part 3

It had been three long weeks since you've heard from Joel. The day you walked out you swore up and down that you wouldn't go running back to him. No matter how badly you wanted to.

Ever since then you realized how much you hated silence. Living with Joel, there was always something. The hum of the heater that barely worked or the soft static of the radio but now its just. Silent.

You don't sleep you barely eat, just enough to keep you alive in this damn place. So when you finally managed to fall asleep you were pretty pissed to get disrupted by loud banging on your door. Taking your gun you grip it tightly and open your door.

"What." You point your gun and when you see Joel standing at your door you don't lower it.

"I need to talk to you." He steps to the side and you see a girl behind him. Reluctantly you lower your gun and step aside.

"What could you possibly need want to talk about Joel? Thought I didn't know shit." The girl laughs and Joel shoots her a glare.

"Ellie go in there."

"Why?"

"Just do it." He snaps and she rolls her eyes before trudging into your bedroom.

"Smuggling people now?" You ask as you watch her slam the door shut.

"Not by choice. Look I know you're angry with me but I need to take her west and-" He stumbles to find the words, to ask for help.

"You need my help?" You finish for him. He nods and you sigh.

"What happened to going our separate ways?" He winces but you can't find it in you to care.

He hurt you and now he thinks he can crawl back? As much as you wanted to forget it all and go back to how things were before, you can't. You can't just forgive him right away. He grabs your arm and pulls you to the other side of the room.

"She's immune." He whispers.

"She got bit but its healed. I saw it with my own eyes." Your eyes widen and you look towards the closed bedroom door.

Immune? Could this..could she be the cure? Optimism isn't exactly your specialty but news like this can't be ignored.

"Okay, I'll help. Not because of you, but because of her." God knows what Joel would be like dragging a teenage girl across the country. You'd give him a week before he loses his mind.

His hand drops from your arm and your turn around without another word. Grabbing a bag and stuffing some essentials inside. Opening the door you find Ellie looking through your small bedside table. She jumps back as and smiles.

"Let's go kid." Ellie follows you out of the room and Joel's already out the door.

"Is he always like that?" She asks making you sigh.

"Yeah."

- - -

Travelling with Joel and Ellie is, interesting to say the least. She could spend hours asking questions that you and sometimes Joel would answer. Asked about his scars, asked about the world, anything that came to her head. You've barely talked to him since you started this journey. The first stop is Bill and Franks. But that was still a day or two away. When night falls you find a clearing in the woods to sleep.

"So what did you do before..." Ellie gestures to the land around her. Joel glances over to you but you ignore his gaze.

"I was a kid when it happened. I think I was 10, maybe 11 years old." You smile softly at the faded memories of your childhood.

Spending nights with your family, your friends. Going to school and playing on the playground, making friendship bracelets and playing tag. It feels like a lifetime ago.

"I uh, my family was shipped off to the QZ. I was the only one to make it." A heavy tension fills the air as you try to remember your family.

Try to remember their faces, their voice, their laugh. Joel frowns, he never knew that. When you first met it was an unspoken rule to never speak of the past. That rules was broken once or twice.

When he slept he'd mumble a name, Sarah. You didn't know who she was but its clear she meant a lot to him but you never worked up the courage to ask him about it.

"Damn." Ellie whispers and Joel looks at her.

"It's alright, it was a long time ago." You shrug your shoulders and try to shake away the pain.

"I never met my parents. Raised in an orphanage and sent to a shit school." She grimaces at the very thought of school.

"The school really is shit." You remember being forced to go to "high school" in the QZ.

Ellie looks to Joel but he leans against a tree with his eyes closed and arms crossed. She takes it as a sign to try and sleep as do you. You tuck your pistol under your backpack that was being used as a pillow and mange to fall into a restless sleep.

"Rise and shine." Joel's gruff voice wakes you up. Your head is groggy as you sit up. A jacket that isn't yours slides off your shoulders. It's Joels.

"You looked cold." He doesn't meet your eyes as he packs up his bag.

"Thanks." You hand it back to him and he takes it with a bit of reluctance.

"I was cold too." Ellie pipes up. Joel looks at her before putting his jacket back on.

"Too bad."

- - -

You breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of a familiar gated community. Bill and Frank were always kind to you, well Frank was. Bill was untrusting of you and Joel but you couldn't really blame him. Joel wasn't too trusting of him either.

"Bill? Frank?" You call as you enter the house. Its eerily quiet. Something isn't right. Joel brushes past you, putting his hand out to stop you from moving any further.

"Stay here." You roll your eyes as he takes off upstairs, his gun gripped tightly in his hands. You thought that maybe things had changed but he slips right back into old habits. Making you stay while he goes off into a possibly dangerous place.

You tell Ellie to be careful and head into the kitchen. Your heart falls when you notice the rancid food on the kitchen counter. Clenching your fist you make your way back into the main hall.

Ellie stands there with Joel, a letter in her hands and a sad look on her face. You keep your eyes glued to the floor as she reads off Bills last words. It's too much to handle. They loved each other, it amazed you how they managed to find that happiness, that peace in a world like this.

"I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving."

Ellie glances up to you and Joel and you can't take it anymore.

"Excuse me." You say quietly as you walk out the front door.

Taking a deep breath you sit on the porch. Covering your face with your hands you focus on your breathing. Death is something you're all too familiar with in the QZ. But for some reason, it just hurts. It hurts so bad.

The door creaks open, the sound of footsteps start and then they stop. Looking up you stare in front of you, watching the flowers blowing in the wind. You know its Joel. He's got the letter in his hand and he can't help but feel a sense of guilt as he stands next to you. Guilt for what? Too much to say.

"Do you think they were happy?" You ask, fiddling with the strap of your bag.

"I do." Joel says, a small crack in his voice almost goes unheard by you.

Taking a deep breath you wipe your eyes and Joel offers you a hand. A peace offering. You hesitate at first, only looking at his outstretched hand. But to Joel's and honestly your surprise you take it. He helps you up and doesn't let go of your hand.

"I-" Joel starts, he rubs his thumb across your hand.

You look down and gasp lightly. His knuckles still hold the scars from when you left. You never saw what he did but you heard it. There's a large cut across the back of his hand. Jagged and barely healed. Even though he drove you away you can't help but feel a little guilty but to him the injuries on his hand are his fault and his alone.

"Joel.." You gently lay your hand on top of his. He closes his eyes and relishes in your touch. The time spent without you has felt like a lifetime. He missed you so damn much.

"I'm not..." He struggles to find the words, he always struggles to find the right words.

"They have hot water! I'm going to take a shower!" Ellie peeks her head through the door, a happy look on her face.

"Oh." She awkwardly stares at the two of you. Silently slipping back out of view. You take a step back, gently taking your hand from his grip.

"I'll go look for some clothes." As you walk into the house Joel sighs. Looking down at the letter, he reads it over one more time before heading back inside.

Bill didn't like him. He didn't like Bill. But he respected him. He didn't agree with a lot of what he did but Bill was right about one thing.

There is someone worth saving.

#Joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you

[lynzishell]

People you’d like to get to know better:

TYSM for the tag @pralinesims and @linalinsims 💖

last song: Van Halen by Geographer [currently listening... because when am I not listening to Geographer? this man is in my ears everyday lol]

favorite color(s): Purple and Black

currently watching: For All Mankind and Silo

last movie: About Time [my comfort movie]

currently reading: House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski [I'm about half way through and omfg 🤯]

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Spicy! [my acid reflux hates it but I love it]

last thing I googled: hmm... see now this would be a spoiler... let's just say that writers have an interesting search history 👀

current obsession: Writing! I've been completely engrossed in learning and practicing as much as possible. I really want to improve and do some fun things in 2024.

currently working on: The next chapter for my Star Sign story. Can't wait for what's next for Phoenix & Dawn 😊

I'm tagging: @hannahssimblr, @sirianasims, @moonfromearth, @bloomingkyras, @havenroyals, @beachyserasims, @hopefulwhims, @mdshh, @igotsnothing, @gingerbeardmansim Of course, if you've already done it, or just don't wanna do it, feel free to ignore.

#tag game #non sims

[ramonaflow]

Fic Writing Review 2023

I was tagged by @hippolotamus @mammameesh @a-noble-dragon @smblmn @flowertrigger @smallumbrella369 thank you ❤️🥰

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

I wasn't going to do this because, well, with the amount of actual words I've written, can I call myself a writer? 😬🤣

Words and Fics

14,249 words published to AO3

3 fandoms

Most recent fic: Honey

Longest fic: Summer Days Still only short though

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I'm hoping I can finish something lol

I haven't been around much so I'm not sure who's already done this. Sorry and just ignore this if you've already been tagged

@beaiola @trickiwooao3 @wordthieve @jamilas-pen @njwoman @demora00 @characterassassination-at-9am @mallpretzles @statueinthestonetoo @carolrain @l56895 @russolaw else who wants to 🩷

#fic writing review 2023 #patrick brewer #david rose #schitt's creek #david x patrick #sara's fic stuff

[slightly-ludic]

Thank you @kuroashims for the tag! This was so much fun!

Ngl, this does kinda fit minus the excitability lol!

Tagging @vercosims @roos-bowl-o-soup @bouncytrait @onestormeynight @hypanova @changingplumbob @honeytoastie @itspupppycat @blackbloodedisabel @swallowprettybird

*if you've been tagged already or don't want to do it, just ignore*

Quiz Link & Picrew Link

#Golden retriever girlie who just wants to be a black cat girlie but I like hugs #tag game #nonsims

[9tzuyu]

reality check

notes: quick vent fic while i work on other stuff sorry :c

warnings: heavily revolved around restrictive eating disorders, alludes to SA, but doesn’t go into detail, natasha not being very understanding (at first), starts in the middle of a fight bc i didn’t know how else to begin the story lol, semi-proofread.

mama!nat x daughter reader

no tags cause of the topic :c

masterlist

. . .

“you know, i would’ve been grateful to have so much food around me when i was younger.” natasha scoffed.

“i just wish you would understand, or at least try to!” you cried out, tears streaming steadily down your face. “it’s not about food, mom. i-i don’t even know what it’s about, but trust me when i say that if i could choose to live without this disorder i would.”

you felt pathetic as you wiped your tears off your face. you’d been arguing with your mother for a good thirty minutes now, something that almost never happened before your issue became known.

“why can’t you just eat the food? tell me, why can’t you? why, y/n? it’s food-”

“i know it’s food!”

“then eat it!” natasha screamed back at you. “i get it, you need to feel in control of something. but why can’t you just control something else-”

“i didn’t choose to have an eating disorder. and it’s not about control, not anymore. i told you, i don’t know what it’s about.” you sighed, heart breaking with each response you gave your mother.

natasha rolled her eyes. “your life has been so easy, i made sure of that. you never once had to deal with any of the shit i did, so why are you doing this to me? how do you think i feel?”

you could help but laugh at your mother.

“how do i think you feel? how do you think i feel, mom? you’re not the one living with this, i am.” you wiped your eyes once more, ignoring the sting that had been caused from the repeated action.

“you preach so publicly about mental health and how important it is. people adore you for it. so why won’t you listen to your own child?”

your mother shook her head, "you should be grateful."

"i am grateful! i'm so grateful for everything you've done for me, so much so that it kills me to know that i can't just stop this. i feel so guilty for it and when you say these... awful things to me it makes me feel so stupid and worse than i already do." you sobbed, pushing yourself further away from your mother until your back hit the headboard of your bed.

"i wish i could think of it as just food. i wish i could eat without feeling so guilty i have to force myself to throw up. i wish that i didn't feel like the only way i'm ever truly good is if i'm empty. i wish i could tell you what happened, but i feel like everything i say and do disappoints you."

natasha took another look at you, one that really stuck with her. she didn't recognize you anymore, you weren't the daughter she'd raised since the tender age of five. you weren't the daughter she knew just a couple of months ago. it truly wasn't until you passed out at school and ended up in the hospital with your diagnosis when everything changed. she didn't know you anymore and it tore her apart.

the more she studied you, the more she noticed how beat down and exhausted you appeared. everything about you was dull and worn out to the point she wasn't sure how much of you was left.

"i'm sorry," natasha finally let out. "i don't understand. i don't think i ever will understand." you went to interrupt her, but she was quicker than you.

"i don't think i can because i've never struggled with an eating disorder, but what i can do is try. you are my child and i love you endlessly. i don't want anything bad to ever happen to you and i'm sorry i wasn't able to protect you from this. i don't want to fight anymore because i don't want to lose you."

your breath caught in the back of your throat as you listened to your mother.

"i want you to be able to come to me when you're struggling. i want to help you get better." she finished off, taking a step towards you before sitting on the edge of your bed.

"but you still think those things, mom. i don't want your help when i know the only thing going through your mind is how selfish and ungrateful i am," you croaked.

"what i said was ignorant and i know i can't take it back, but i'm willing to do whatever it is that i need to get you better."

"well first you have to know it's not about food. i can't 'just eat it' like you want me to. i can't just choose not to have an eating disorder anymore." you snapped uncontrollably.

"okay," natasha nodded. "i believe you."

"i do want to get better, i think. i'm not sure. i know i have a problem but i don't want to accept that i have a problem..." you trailed quietly. "i don't know how to live without it anymore, i can't remember who i was before this."

natasha tilted her head in confusion, "i thought you'd just been struggling for a few months?"

"it's been years, mom. it's a very secretive disorder, i did everything in my power to make sure you didn't know about it. pretty easy to do when you're gone half the time anyway." you shrugged.

"i'm sorry," she admitted.

there was a beat of silence before the two of you spoke again.

"what happened?"

"what do you mean?"

"earlier, you said you wished you could tell me what happened." she pointed out.

"oh." your heart dropped and natasha could see you visibly pale at the thought of having to say what it was.

"is it bad?"

"depends on your definition of bad."

"did someone hurt you?"

"yeah. but it was a long time ago, it doesn't matter now. i'm over it." you lied pathetically.

"it does matter and you're not over it." your mother stated calmly, desperate to keep her voice from cracking.

"i was 14, it was years ago. i don't want to talk about it."

"i can respect that, but you'll have to eventually. doesn't have to be with me, but it'll only get worse the longer you don't deal with it." everything in her was fighting to not demand you tell her the name of who did it. she knew that wouldn't help you, not when you still haven't even processed it.

she felt like a failure of a mother, but this was not about her. it was about you.

"where do you want to go from here?"

"i don't know."

natasha chewed on her bottom lip. "i've missed you."

"do you miss me or who you thought i was?" you questioned, bringing your knees into your chest.

she pondered for a second, "both i guess."

it was a fair answer.

"keeping it a secret from you was the hardest thing i ever had to do."

"so why did you?"

"i wasn't sure how to tell you, let alone when to tell you... and then seeing how you've reacted up until now i'm glad i didn't."

natasha would never tell you how much your words pierced her heart, but it was her own doing. she didn't have much room, if any, to feel sorry for herself.

"what i will say though, is that i miss being curled up into your side with our favorite snacks and desserts while we watched horror movies. i miss spending our mornings arguing over pancakes or waffles, not over if i would eat that day."

the redhead chuckled. "you know for someone who doesn't eat very much you sure have the energy to hold a fight."

"fear will do that to you."

"do you think you'll ever be yourself again?"

you hummed, “i think i’ll be a new version of my old self.”

“i like that answer. i think a lot of people feel like they will never be themselves again after traumatic events. i know i never felt like i could.” natasha spoke, her eyes meeting yours.

for the first time in awhile you didn’t feel like you were disappointing her.

“i used to think like that, but i don’t anymore because you don’t have to lose yourself completely. you don’t have to start over by completely erasing who you once were. i’d like to believe that i can still cherish those parts of me before they were tainted.”

natasha smiled for the first time that day. “you’re completely right.”

“before you get too happy i want you to remember that just because we’re having a good moment now doesn’t mean we won’t have more days like earlier.” you reminded her.

it hurt to see her face fall, but you were right.

your mother needed to remember that this wouldn’t be going away quickly or any time soon. but if she keeps her word and tries to do better than before, you knew there was a better chance at healing.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #mama!nat #black widow x reader

[nothing-but-paisley]

20 Questions for Fic Writers! ✨

tagged by @monstersinthecosmos and @hekateinhell thank you! 🖤

1. How many works do you have on A03? 28, all public

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 70,744

3. What fandoms do you write for? Vampire Chronicles & AMC IWTV. I also write Hannibal fic and dabble in Star Trek (need to get into some ds9 fic one of these days.) I also have a twitter account (@murdertherapy) where I give advice as Hannibal Lecter, but I've back burnered it for the time being due to The Horrors. Might make a tumblr for it one day.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Touching and Touched, Only a Name, That Essence Rare, Amnesiac, By Any Other Name

5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely, they make me so happy! But I get a little self-conscious about how to respond to them since I don't know how to take compliments, so I'm always just like, thanks 🙂

But I really do cherish all of them 😭

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Gotta be Gethsemane, the fic where I did what Anne maybe ultimately wished she did and killed Daniel. This is one of my favorite pieces I've written in fandom or otherwise and it really helped me process some things.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm sure it's my spirk fic Touching and Touched, they are so fuckin sappy I love them.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've been pretty lucky in that I've never gotten a mean comment on ao3 or any shade about any of my fics (that I've seen lol).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Listen, I think that horniness is the engine of all drama. All fiction is inherently erotic. What is a Greek tragedy but a super drawn out communal orgasm?

But yes, I write smut almost exclusively lol. People are (usually) at their most vulnerable and raw during sex, and this is an incredibly powerful way to explore character dynamics as well as their inner lives, traumas, and hidden drives. I'm especially drawn to BDSM/kink in general.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes! I just wrote a VC/X-Files crossover called Amanuensis in which Mulder and Scully investigate the Night Island that was tons of fun, but it's not something I make a habit of for whatever reason.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it's something I would definitely be open to!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Devil's Minion, Hannigram, Garashir, Spirk, Mulder/Scully. They all make me insane in unique ways! I'm also partial to Armand/Marius/Daniel--any Armand ship really! Super normal about him :)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I WANT to finish my Knight of Swords series one day, but I'll try keep plugging away at it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, 100%. I want everything to be a screenplay lmao. I have written multiple fics that are just text conversations, transcripts, etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I can be impatient when it comes to writing descriptions/actions, so a lot of that stuff is as bare bones as possible. I would like to become better at creating a sense of depth and scale and grandeur rather than just sketching things out (and writing longer fics instead of just oneshots all the time).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Neutral, I think it can work when used sparingly (but then I've dropped a few caro mios in my time).

19. First fandom you wrote for? Doctor Who in the ancient pre-ao3 times.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Apart from Gethsemane, I was really happy with how By Any Other Name turned out (the fic where Armand roleplays that Daniel is Marius without his knowledge). Basically anything that's a combination of heavy angst and smut with an optional lil sliver of comfort--that's the good stuff.

tagging: @fofoqueirah and @butchybats and @desertfangs (feel free to ignore if you've done this already lol)

#vc fic #ask paisley #devil's minion

[cafeinthemoon]

Thorns - Part II

Chapter 2/3

Wordcount 3,9k

Title Part II

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Pairing Hades x reader

Previous chapter

1

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warnings: light angst; argument at the throne room

Tagging @mikkies (if you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: So... I stated that this story will only have 2 chapters, but the text for the second part ended up too long and I had to divide it in two, and now we'll have 3 chapters (hope you don't mind).

So, a few thoughts about this story:

- The three generals that follow Hades were first intended to be the three Judges of Hell, but since I didn't make previous references to them, I thought it'd sound weird to introduce them like this now.

- When I had the idea for the poison ivy, I didn't really think of how reader would make it disappear, so Beelzebub's participation in this was a sort of a plan b (even when plan a didn't exist lol).

- When reader and Hades argue at the throne room, my first idea was that he would sound even more angry and just leave without a word for her, so she would have to solve everything by herself and appeal to the dangerous technique with the ivy, but I thought it wouldn't fit the dynamics I've been creating for them in my other story "Ruins", so I decided to write a "softer" argument.

- It's never specified how long Hades has been ruling over Hellheim, but we can suppose that it might have been for billion years if we consider what's said about his age on the SNV wiki: "He is very ancient, being older than the Big Bang, making him over 13.8 billion years old".

- I absolutely love the dynamics between Adamas and Beel in the manga's extra chapter! It's the type of humor I enjoy writing, simple and effective, since it's not the strongest trait of my writing :)

You refused to believe in your ears. Hades was telling you that he intended to go to the battlefield and stop the beasts all by himself?

– What…? You… – your hand loosened the grip upon his arm, the same in which hand he had the bident, but didn’t release it.

Hades ignored your shock and gave you a clear explanation:

– You know that the messenger came from our nearest detachment. If he was their last man, then the enemies are probably going to trespass the gates and reach the castle’s bridge soon. They will be at our doors before the night falls.

You immediately remembered what Adamas told you, how he went alone to Hellheim and fought the Titans without help, just to save his brothers and his people, and realized that now he intended to do the same.

However, I’m here with him this time. He doesn’t need to do this alone.

And you wanted to show that to him.

– Hades, if your intention is to go and face them by yourself…

Your husband put his hand upon yours on his arm and looked into your eyes, where he guessed what you were trying to say.

– Y/n, if you’re going to ask to go with me, then, please, don’t. You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying here to grant the castle’s safeness, and your own. This is why I asked Adamas to come and stay here despite his willing to fight – he glanced over you, probably to his brother – He will help you in anything you need.

You swallowed. You were already expecting this, but you weren’t finished yet.

– I’m not asking for permission – you approached him as you spoke – We all understand that the situation is worse than we first suspected and might become out of hand if we don’t do anything! The last member of our remaining detachment just died in my arms! How can I stay behind when I know you’ll be in the eye of the hurricane? I can’t…

Hades laid his free hand on the knob, irreducible.

– But you must. You've never been in the battlefield before, and that’s not the best way to start. I won’t forgive myself if anything happens to you.

Here, your patience was gone.

– And how do you think I’m going to feel if anything happens to you? Especially when you know you don’t have to do everything by yourself? – you gasped – Did you forget that I’m no longer human? I've been here for five hundred years now! Frailty doesn’t define me anymore! If someone will have to die in battle, it won’t be the Queen of the Dead!

Apparently, Hades’ patience had the same destiny as yours, because his posture – and the entire energy around him – changed. Leaning the bident on the fold of his arm and holding you by your shoulders, he made you forget everything and everyone in that room while you looked at him.

– And she won’t die in battle because the King of the Dead, who has been here for billion years longer than her, will keep her safe inside her home and in the company of the people he trusts – and, before you could think of any response, he pulled you closer and kissed your forehead – And, being the reliable wife she is, she won’t do anything to disappoint him.

Now, there was nothing you could do or say to change his mind. You took his hands off your shoulders and held them between you for a moment.

– Then she asks him to take at least a few strong, capable men with him, so her heart can be still.

There was a moment of silence from his part, where you just stared at each other, and you even thought he was going to turn his back on you and leave without a word, but he sighed, recovering his calmness, and agreed with your request.

– If this will soothe her anxiety, then, he can do it.

Moving his hands away from yours, the King of the Underworld looked ahead of you and called three of the present generals, the ones nearest Adamas. When the men approached, you took a step back as they knelt before their King, ready to obey.

– Grab your strongest weapons and save your energy for the primary battle. If we hurry, we will reach the enemy in one hour or two. Then, we will close the passage they’ve been using – Hades isntructed them.

The men immediately went to their own lodges to make the preparations. Only after they were gone, you noticed the stain of blood that your hand left on Hades’ white sleeve. You hid your hands behind your back.

He turned to you one last time, with a softer tone:

– We'll be right back.

You nodded, trying to control your shaking body.

– Yes, my Lord.

Nothing more was said between you two. Your husband opened the door and left. It closed slowly at his back and its noise echoed through the throne room, then disappeared.

You raised your head and returned to the company of your brother-in-law and the other officers, who were staring at you in expectation.

You were the first to speak.

– Our King expects me to grant the castle’s security while he’s away, and I will do anything to fulfill this task – you passed your eyes on each one’s face – But I cannot do this alone.

There was a murmur of agreement among the officers.

– We will give you all the necessary support, my Lady – said one of the men.

– You just need to tell us what we have to do, y/n-sama – a second one, beside him, corroborated.

– Thank you – you turned to your brother-in-law – Adamas-sama, I need your help too.

The god of Conquest, aware of things that went unnoticed by the others, didn’t take long to offer his own support.

– Of course, y/n-chan. What do you need?

You took a moment to consider your first measures.

– First, I need you to take the lead of the guards and the others who are directly involved in the security. All the doors, from the main to the smallest ones, need to be checked from time to time, and every suspicious movement must be informed to you.

You turned to the two men who just offered their help.

– The servants and the nursery staff must be prepared to receive the common folks who might come here seeking for shelter. I want you to communicate this to these two groups and give them instructions to take care of the newcomers. They must be led through the main door only. You must not use the secondary entries under any circumstance.

They nodded in compliance.

– Yes, my Lady.

You took a deep breath, then gave your last order.

– Finally, this instruction is for all of you – you glanced at Adamas – With no exception. Do not approach any of the windows, the balconies or the secondary entries, and do not let anyone do it. This will mean the difference between your life and your death. Now, go and send this message to everybody in the castle, then return to this room and stay under Adamas-sama’s command. I’m counting on you.

A wave of worried whispers spread among the presents, but no one dared question you. All the men left your presence, so that there was only you and Adamas now.

You asked him if you were forgetting anything. He had a growing smile on his face at first, as if enjoying how you were putting effort in playing your role as Queen in your first time facing a crisis, but your last words caught him by surprise as much as the others, making him frown.

– Not for now, but I’ll warn you if necessary – and, asking what everyone wanted to know, – But what is it that we can’t approach the castle’s open spaces? Can you tell me what you have in mind?

You stared at him for a moment.

– There’s a defense technique that I’ve been developing for years with the help of Beelzebub-sama. We happened to find a way to potentialize the effects of a poison ivy I created… using a fraction of Hades’ blood.

Adamas didn’t interrupt your explanation, but it was clear that he wasn’t expecting something of this sort.

– I was hoping I’d never have to use it because, despite reaching total efficacy, I couldn’t find a way to balance its energy consumption and because of the obvious danger – you lowered your voice – But in the current situation, I have no choice.

Adamas crossed his arms.

– So… you’re telling me that your technique will work for sure, but it will drain your energy? And it’s so strong that it might kill the people inside the castle if they get too close? – he sighed – Does my brother know about this?

You hesitated.

– Of course, he does. He witnessed most of the developing process. The technique will only reach its full strength precisely because of his collaboration… But I didn’t discuss the exhaustion part with him.

He clicked his tongue in impatience, probably wondering why you always had to plot such disastrous things.

– I see – he shrugged – Well, you do as you want, but at the first sign that something is wrong, call me immediately, uh?

– Of course, but, please, do the same. I’ll be in the castle’s highest tower if you need me.

You left the throne room without waiting for a reply.

***

The more you walked up the stairs, leaving the crowded rooms of the castle below you, the more you sensed you were entering a different world. The walls were colder, and the echo of your steps lasted longer inside them; the distance between the rooms was larger as well, and judging by how long you’ve been walking, you started to think it’d be impossible to call Adamas or anyone else if you needed help, so you prayed that nothing went wrong.

When you reached the entry of the highest tower at last, your hand trembled before you touched the knob.

I don’t even know if I’m doing the right thing... But what choice do I have?

You breathed deep and opened the door.

The room was almost empty, except for the high curtains that separated the room from the balcony and a modest furniture, including a large couch in the middle of it. You closed the door behind you and went to the candle holders in each corner to light them up. That room was rarely used, so that scent of dust and old things around was no surprise.

The last time I’ve been here was when I brought the final product with Hades and Beelzebub-sama. I didn’t even want to leave the curtains open.

You then walked to the curtains and opened them on each side, wrapping them up on the supports by their golden stripes. You unlocked the balcony’s sliding doors and looked at the reddish skies on the outside; you had the impression that they were darker, as if a storm was about to start. You swallowed and went back inside.

There was a small desk on a corner, upon which there was a vase full of flowers of various shapes and sizes – all of them attempts of spontaneous materialization of yours from your first years in Hellheim. It has been centuries since you were established as a goddess of nature and creation, and your private garden – a gift from your husband and where you created those flowers – has been transformed into a researching and experimenting center. From time to time, you would receive Beelzebub, an old acquaintance of Hades and an experienced scientist himself, for orientation, and what you came after in that room was among your first works together, which took countless decades to reach perfection and have been there for two hundred years now. Fortunately for you and for the rest of your people, you've grown in ability and power, and that experiment was a superior product in all senses.

You took a small key from your pocket and opened the first drawer, grabbing a crystal bottle from it. You held it at your eyes’ height, observing the precious content inside it: a fraction of Hades’ blood.

Pluto Ichor.

You would never use it if you had your way; you would leave the castle under Adamas’ administration and go with your husband to face the intruders instead. However, Hades decided for a different strategy, one where he would take all the risk to himself while the others would be safe. You hated this, but now it was too late to argue or to complain.

You took a second bottle from the same drawer and turned its content on your palm: some of the seeds you created under the instructions of Beelzebub, which would grow into an extremely toxic species of ivy that would take over the castle’s surroundings and keep the invaders at bay. The ivy, with which you communicate through energetic signature, would respond only to you, and through their thorns you’d track anything – and anyone – who approached the area.

In all the experiences you’ve made in your garden, you’ve managed to grow some specimen that would never reach more than a few meters, but that would never be enough to protect the entire building. That was the reason why you reached for your husband’s blood.

I know it’s going to work… The only problem is that I have no idea of how much.

You went to the balcony with the seeds in one hand and the bottle in the other. You opened it, poured some drops of the dark fluid over the seeds and threw them to the air. Seconds passed until the seeds reached the soil, where they drowned.

It was when you commanded them to germinate.

Immediately, a sequence of vibrations raised from underground, and monstrous, green plants grew out of it to all directions, surrounding the castle, the abyss under the bridge and the empty fields around, creating a forest of vines and thorns.

You were afraid that, because of the blood’s power, the technique would soon get out of control, and when you saw how fast the forest appeared, the possibility of having done a terrible mistake got you scared. Thankfully, it wasn’t the case: when you tried to redirect some of the plants around, they obeyed you, and you sighed in relief.

The task was harder than you anticipated. The size and weight of the plants, as well as their strength increased by the blood’s influence, demanded an abnormal amount of energy from you, and sensing the entire surroundings through their thorns was as disorienting as having a lamp turned on right at your face, but you did your best to get over the discomfort and manipulate the ivy to cover the necessary spots and to leave others free. You also moved them away from the bridge and the castle’s main entry to open the way to the people who might come for help.

Hades said that he and the generals could reach the enemies in a few hours, but it wasn’t hard to guess that they met the monsters before this: by the instabilities you noticed in the sky – and in the horizon, spreading through the air – you knew that the battle just began.

And you would be able to accompany everything from your spot.

Well... now I just have to hold on until they come back. For the people who are counting on us, for Adamas-sama... and for him. Hades, my dear... please, don’t do anything absurd and stay safe…

***

The battle and the subsequent events didn’t last long if you’d only count the chronological time, but it felt like eternity while you stood in that balcony, controlling the poisonous forest from there.

Just like you predicted, some common folks came to Hades’ door for help, and you freed the bridge’s passage for them. The main door was used to receive them as you instructed, and it was immediately closed after they entered.

The ivy that grew from the abyss was kept away from the passage, only returning to the surface when invaders were spotted, and the same happened with the plants that covered the tors that surrounded the building: with the invasion of Hellheim and the resulting battle for its defense, many evil creatures that wandered through those lands were expelled from their usual hideouts and ended up crawling toward the castle, but you were there to protect its inhabitants from them.

Meanwhile, you sensed the progress of the battle through the ivy that grew in the edges of the castle’s territory. Those foreign creatures were strong, and you could tell that only by the vibrations of their strikes spreading across the space and the soil, but they were no match for your husband and his men. The main problem was really the number of invaders: if they could reach the spot through which they were entering the Underworld and close the passage, everything could be solved, but they would take a while to pass through them.

If only Hades wasn’t so stubborn, he could have taken more people with him.

Your stomach burned when you thought of the man you loved facing all those monsters with little to no help. Despite what Adamas told you, your heart could never rest knowing what was happening out there. However, thinking too much about this now could interfere in your balance.

Arguing on this is useless now. What I have to do is to show faith in him while I do my part.

Some say that speaking is always easier, and you had proof of this in the next minutes, hours or any other possible unit of time during which you’ve maintained the control over the ivy. You were aware that, due to Pluto Ichor, it would take more energy to manipulate them, but you were worried about how fast they were consuming your strength.

Fortunately, everyone inside the building obeyed your instructions and didn’t approach the windows and exits while you worked: even if they didn’t understand how it worked, they at least realized the power contained in the ivy, and acted accordingly. That made things a bit easier for you, because you only had to worry about managing your powers.

You never saw how it ended, however.

There was a moment when you sensed the strength abandoning your legs, and you fell on your knees; that didn’t make you give up, for you still had the connection with the forest, but it wasn’t the same anymore. Little by little, your arms started trembling and you couldn’t keep them raised or move them in any way. Even sitting on the ground was difficult, and the air burned your lungs with every breath.

You looked ahead and knew that the battle wasn’t as fierce as before, but it hasn’t come to its end yet.

I can’t stop now. I need to finish this...

You made one last effort to keep the bridge free from the ivy and prayed for the poison to keep the monsters away. You had the sensation of someone entering the room and approaching you from behind, but your sight darkened before you looked at them.

***

You opened your eyes and found yourself lying on the couch of the tower’s room.

The candles were still burning, or so thought, judging by the light you sensed around you, and thanks to it you saw Adamas standing a few meters from your spot, his back turned on the balcony and the twilight out there, staring at you with a frown. You inclined your head forward and saw a young man in black clothing, sitting on the couch’s edge, holding a tiny bottle that he was about to open. You recognized him immediately.

– Beelzebub-sama!... – you tried to stand up, but your body didn’t respond to you.

– Easy, y/n-san – the Lord of the Flies replied with a soft smile, without taking his eyes from the bottle – You’re not in the best conditions after everything you’ve done out there.

You sighed and stood still.

It wasn’t a surprise to you that he managed to cross your forest and enter the castle without difficulties: if there was someone who couldn’t be killed in any circumstance, it was Beelzebub, and being involved in the creating process of your technique, avoiding its effects was the easiest thing for him. Besides, once he appeared before the main door, no one would dare deny his entry or ask what he was doing there.

However, he saw no problem in explaining his arrival to you.

– I was passing by and found Hades-san and his men fighting against some invaders. Of course, I stopped to help them, even though it wasn’t necessary because the King of Hellheim had already solved most of the problem when I arrived. So, he sent me here to see how you were doing – his smile widened – And, as expected, you were giving him reasons to be worried.

Adamas, who has been quiet all this time, laughed. You asked him how the people in the castle were doing now.

– Better than you, y/n-chan – it was the reply – Everyone in the castle is tense because of the forest, of course, but their compliance was total. No accidents concerning the poison.

Your sighed in relief. So, everything was alright. That was all you needed to hear.

You turned to Beelzebub.

– Thank you for coming, and I’m sorry for not being able to give you a better reception – you mumbled – What is it in this bottle?

– A medicine for you to regain your strength – he offered it to you – Judging by your current state, you will need hours to recover. Please, take this and stay where you are.

You thanked him for the medicine and emptied the bottle’s content.

– How long I’ve been sleeping? – you asked while giving the bottle back to him.

– Half an hour, I’d say – he replied – We’ve been here since then.

You passed your hand over your forehead, but said nothing in response. Adamas, with all his rationality, soon led the conversation to the practical matters.

– Everything is all well, but the forest will have to disappear now that our safeness is granted – he approached the couch – How will you do it now?

You swallowed.

– I...

Before you could think of something, Beelzebub intervened:

– I’ll take care of this. I know how to do it.

You stared at him in silent gratitude, and for a moment none of you spoke...

Until a sudden change in the energy at the castle’s entry was detected by the thorns, making you stand up and look around in anxiety.

– Ah! Oh, my…!

– What is it?! – the two gods asked at the same time.

– Guys, they're back! – you yelled, sitting on the couch – Hades is back! I need to go!

Beelzebub tried to reason with you, stating that you couldn’t make any effort right now, but you didn’t hear anything. You just stood up and left the room, rushing across the stairs.

You never knew about the conversation that followed between the two men you just left behind, but if you did, it’d make you giggle in embarrassment.

– So – Adamas stood by the side of a wide-eyed, speechless Beelzebub on the couch, with a raised eyebrow – Hours until she recovers, you say?

The Lord of the Flies sighed, smiling as he put his hand on his forehead.

– Eh, these young gods are always surprising us. Especially when they’re former humans.

#snv hades #ror hades #snv adamas #ror adamas #snv beelzebub #ror beelzebub #snv x reader #ror x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie hades x reader #record of ragnarok hades x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie hades #record of ragnarok hades #snv hades x reader #ror hades x reader

[elijahlittle]

I have been scouring this fucking app for Julian fics, never really occurred to I can just request some lol.

So yeah, if you're up for it I've got a little plot/trope set up that'd id love to see. Outsider(fem)reader/julian.

Something along the lines of a reader moving into the park from the southern us, new to Canada and parks in general. As an outsider, Julian expected you to be trouble or judgemental, so he acts like a dick to you at first. Later on, he starts to see instead how kind you are to everyone, understanding and totally up for doing ppl favors even when there's nothing for you in the end. This makes him feel real guilty for bein an ass to you, and also makes him start to feel other things towards u.. Take the fic in whatever direction you'd I wanna see u work ur magic

( + no pressure 2 write it ofc!!)

pairing: julian/fem!reader fandom: trailer park boys tags: smut (cis man/cis woman), fluff, a bit of angst, idk this is one of my more normal ones, heavy plot some porn (i kind of felt more plot focused with this one), julian is kind of hung (he gives me big dick energy)  author's note: i'm much more of a ricky kinda guy myself but when i got this request, i got really fucking excited. i loved the idea. i will say, this fic isn't structured traditionally. it's very dialogue heavy and kind of leaves some things up to the imagination. i wanted to establish relationships between the reader and other people in the park as well as share some of julian's private conversations about her. i'm really proud of the way this has turned out, though i'm sorry if it's not the interpretation you might have been hoping for (i'm a little insecure about the way i interpret storylines). i hope you like it, though. i worked hard on it and i'm pretty sure it's the longest julian/reader fic currently on the internet so i'm going to take that fucking win rn. also, i actually live in the southern united states. (fun fact: i'm looking to move because i'm a trans man and life here is kind of ass if you're trans), so i gave the reader a backstory that's kind of unique to what a woman in 1999-2000 would have gone through. i'm not satisfied with the ending though, i'm sorry if this fic is a little lackluster, but we can only go up from here i guess. text blocking this shit was a fucking BITCH. word count: 6,442

everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it.

The cultural climate of Sunnyvale Trailer Park wasn't exactly the most inviting. There were people who lived in the park and then there was everyone else. For the most part, newcomers never lasted more than a few weeks. The bottle kids drove away the weakest among them, but if those kids weren't effective usually Ricky's antics drove away the remaining lot. Sure, there were a few people here and there who moved in quietly, but those were usually the kind of people that minded their own business because lot rent was low enough for them to just ignore Lahey.

But in general, new people were not welcome. Especially know-it-all hipsters trying to live the simple life by casting away their possessions in an expensive storage unit and downsizing to a more humble trailer. Those were the kinds of guys that gave up quickly. Plus, new people threatened the balance of park politics. For the most part, Julian was well-liked and well-respected among the others due to his caring nature and dedication to his loved ones. He protected his own. And if there was one thing Julian didn't like, it was newcomers coming into the park without already knowing someone in it.

"Barb, I really think you should reconsider letting this girl in. I mean, you don't even know who she is." 

"Julian, this is a business, not a family estate. Her credit was just below decent, she has an okay-paying job, and paid three months of rent in advance. From a business perspective, she seems like she'll be a reliable tenant. It's a good thing you've grown close with your community, but you have to remember at the end of the day, this trailer park is here to make money. Whatever fit of paranoia you're suffering through, deal with it on your own time. Next time you come here with a complaint, make sure it's a business one." 

And just like that, Barb had shooed Julian off. What more could he say to that? Well, he had a lot more to say to that but she didn't want to listen. Every time he opened his mouth to speak, she only guided him further to the door. If Julian thought he was the one who ran this trailer park, he had another thing coming for him that's what. This dump needed more reliable tenants - normal folks who didn't like to get into trouble. Barb was trying to turn the park's image around.

"Julian, I just don't understand why you're so against this lady stayin' here. You know I'm no fan of newcomers myself, but she's been mindin' her own. She actually keeps her yard clean, which is pretty fuckin' nice if you ask me. It's nice to pass a yard that doesn't have a million fuckin' pieces of trash thrown all over the front. She even has one of those pink fuckin' yard flamingos in her yard. It's so bright and colorful. There ain't nothin' wrong with a little bit of color, Julian. Ain't nothin' wrong with a little bit of change." 

"Are you even listening to yourself talk Bubbles? Can you hear what you're saying? You're saying change for this park is good. Who knows what she believes in. She might hate dope growers, she may be workin' with Lahey, she could get nosy and bust us for dope and you know Ricky and I are growin' a lot of dope -" 

"- I know, I've seen that big fuckin' setup you got in that fuckin' trailer in that shitty little lot -" 

"- so then Bubbles you should know that new people aren't good. We can't trust new people, especially not now. Especially not when we're so close to selling them to those prison guards and retiring. A stranger could compromise the whole thing. Remember those bible scammers that came through here? I've learned my lesson since then and I'm not tryna repeat old mistakes." 

"Jesus Murphy Julian, you need to calm down. Those fuckin' assholes were obviously scammers, it's not like this lady is goin' door to door scammin' people." 

"Sure maybe she's not taking advanced orders on bibles Bubbles, but she is goin' in and out of everyone's house doin' favors for them. Why does she need to see the inside of everyone's house? Do you think she's lookin' for something?" 

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe she's just a nice person doin' a nice thing? Nice people exist. You've been dealin' with dope and crime and jail so much that it's like you forgot how to trust someone. All you think about is dope and how you're going to protect it from everyone else." 

"You're only defendin' her because she brings you boxes of canned cat foods for your cats. She's buyin' you off and you don't even know it." 

"So what if she's helpin' me take care of my kitties? My kitties are the most important things to me and unlike you, she fuckin' knows that. If someone's offering to help take care of my precious little kitties, who the fuck am I to say no?" 

"Bubbles, look -" 

"No, no, nevermind." Bubbles tucks a gray cat further into his arms, his posture becoming more rigid. It's clear that he's done with the conversation, no longer interested in trying to hammer commonsense into Julian's brain. He couldn't see past his own paranoia and it was infuriating. In Julian's mind, everyone in the world was out to get him - even the nice lady across the street who helped his friend support his kitties. "You just don't get it, Julian. I'm goin' back home, come talk to me when you get it." 

Julian was still convinced he was right about this girl. If the bottle kids didn't run you out, he'd just take matters into his own hands. He didn't care whether or not Bubbles helped. Julian was a man of many connections, and even if he couldn't find someone else to get the job done he had no qualms with taking care of the situation himself.

"I mean, if you think that lady's dangerous then you know I'm gonna follow you Julian 'cause you got the brains and stuff behind the projector, but I just gotta let you know I'm still workin' on my grade ten so whatever idea you have you got to make sure it's not illegal 'cause I can't go back to jail, not right before Trinity's birthday. That means we can't do any property damage or breaking and entering or any shit like that." 

"I promise you Ricky we're not gonna go back to jail, we're just gonna annoy the shit out of her until she leaves. I was thinkin' maybe you and Cory and Trevor could host like a really loud party across the street tomorrow night, you know - something to keep her awake. If we get a noise complaint, we'll just shut it down, but then once the cops leave we'll start it back up again. We'll do this for a few nights until she finally decides to move out." 

"That's a pretty fucking good idea, that's smart. Plus, since it's a party we can get drunk and high."

It's 2 a.m. and that fucking party is still going. There were several times you considered calling in a noise complaint but you decided that it was a better idea to just wait it out. It had to end at some point and overall, it was never a good idea to get involved with parties like that because sometimes they got out of a hand, and you were too smart to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Though when you stepped outside to 'check your mailbox' - spy on the party still going on into the early hours of the morning - you find yourself tripping over something. You stumble onto your hands and knees and it's only when you pull yourself up do you really get a good look at the man passed out by your mailbox. It's Ricky, and he's mumbling things almost incoherently. He mutters something about dope, bitches, Trinity, more bitches, Lucy, and good booze. It's a pathetic way to be, but you can't help but feel bad for you.

You use the toe of your shoe to rock his face awake. Ricky sputters before waking up in a drunk panic. He's angry and yelling incoherently, but your promise of a hot shower and a hot sandwich satiates his anger. He struggles his way through a shower, though almost slips a few times. He eats hand to mouth, chewing loudly, and drunk conversation ensues. He shares a lot with you - stuff he probably wouldn't have shared sober. He eventually passes out, not remembering much in the morning. That morning you share breakfast and a little bit about each other. He tried to hate you, he really did, but you were charismatic in a friendly way. There weren't any ulterior motives, you just enjoyed conversation.

"I don't know Julian, she seems fine to me. I mean, she's not all that bad. Her yard is pretty clean and you know, she has that pink little flamingo in her yard and honestly it's pretty fuckin' cute. I mean yeah she's kinda annoying and I hate that fuckin' southern fuckin' cowboy accent she fucking has but whatever. I think you're gettin' worked up over nothin'. You've been so busy tryna push out this lady who hasn't done nothin' wrong to you while I'm over here slavin' away watchin' after these fuckin' dope plants and tryin' to study for my grade ten all while play peepin' tom spy guy on some poor fuckin' lady." 

"You're just saying that 'cause she let you spend the night and made you breakfast."

"You know what I sure as fuck I am! She made me breakfast and kept me from sleepin' on the fuckin' ground drunk as piss and let me use her shower and shit and I didn't even have to put out! It's not like I trust her or anything like that - I didn't talk about dope or nothin' like that at all." That was the truth. "It's just at this point anything is better than fucking Cory and Trevor. I'm not sayin' you gotta like her or trust her, but she's not all that bad Julian. Maybe if you actually got to fuckin' know her like I have you'd see that you're just being a paranoid dickbag." 

"You know what Ricky, you don't anything about her. You're just seeing what she wants you to see. But I'm smart, so I see right through it -" 

"Come on Julian don't be like that -" 

"- and since nobody is going to take care of this fucking situation then I guess I'll have to." 

Julian felt like everyone around him was failing him. Nobody else seemed to feel the same way he did about your existence in the trailer park. As each day passed, Julian grew more overtly snide. When approaching Ricky and Bubbles, Julian never took the time to acknowledge you. It was obvious that he was just being an ass, so you opted to ignore it, preferring not to fight. Silence was Julian's strongest weapon. But as the days ticked by, the tension between you and Julian only seemed to mount itself higher.

It's not like you inherently disliked Julian. In fact, you liked to believe that there was good in everyone and you prided yourself in your ability to be able to pull even the toughest people out of their shell. However, Julian was no easy project. Every time you tried to approach him, he simply brushed you off. You weren't even sure that the two of you had even exchanged any greetings. He hadn't even said hello. So when trying to talk to him didn't work, you simply tried to stay out of his way. This was frustrating for Julian because what he wanted you to do was to blow up and make it a big ordeal. But you didn't. You simply kept to yourself and resumed helping others around the park without complaints. 

There were times where Julian thought about approaching you in the way Julian thinks about approaching any pretty thing in a summer dress that talks to him. But he remains strong in the face of adversity. Gone were the days of chasing anything in a dress. He had a dope business to worry about.

But sometimes the thought would creep up onto Julian ever so slowly. Sometimes, he'd get this kind of fantasy in his head - especially on the Sunday afternoons you'd spend gently pushing yourself back and forth in your rocking chair, enjoying the summer sunlight. He could think of a million ways you two could enjoy the afternoon together, but he often pushed the thought out of his head. He had a park to protect. Friends to protect.

"You know, you have some real nerve comin' up here in this trailer park and putting on a show like you're doing." 

You look up from the rocking chair you were gently pushing yourself back and forth in and offer Julian a small smile.

"So you're Julian?"

Julian can't help but be a bit enamored with your slight southern drawl. It sounds like you're somewhere from the deep southern United States - one of those more rural provinces like Texas or Alabama. He can't quite pinpoint the accent, but he secretly finds it endearing.

"And how do you know that?" 

"I mean, with how much you do for the people here it's kind of hard not to know who you are. Plus, Ricky and Lucy both never seem to shut up about you. You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say they're both in love with you or something. Also, yesterday you came to pick up Ricky and he pointed right at you and said well, there's Julian, see ya later. I just put two and two together." 

"I'm not here to make small talk, (name)." 

"Then what are you here to do, Julian?" 

There's silence. What is he here to do. There wasn't anything that he could reasonably do and he wasn't the terrorizing type if he didn't have to be. Fuck, he had even promised that his greasy trouble-causing days were over. But here he was, standing at the edge of the patio stairs, contemplating whether or not he should threaten a woman.

"I'm just here to ask you about your intentions with Ricky, that's all." 

You can't help but laugh out loud at the comment. "Oh, please. There's nothing going on between us." 

Julian knows that because if there was something going on between you and Ricky, Ricky wouldn't shut up about it and the whole park would know. But he's trying to be covert about his intent to interrogate you.

"Yeah, well . . . there better not be . . . Ricky's a good guy and I'd really hate to see him get hurt . . ." 

"Why are you really here, Julian?" 

Julian stands in silence, thoughtfully cradling his glass in his hand as he tries to come up with a clever lie - but it's hard to think when he catches a glimpse of your thighs pressed together underneath your thin summer dress. He squints and then looks away briefly.

"I just wanted to stop by and tell you more about the culture of Sunnyvale. You know, we're really tight-knit. Like family."

"I know." 

"And you know, family protects family." 

"I know." 

"And you know, I'd do anything for my family." 

"I know." 

"Anything." 

"What are you getting at?" 

"I'm not getting at anything, (name). I'm just givin' you a little more info about our park, just trying to get acquainted with you." 

"Oh, you're trying to get acquainted with me? This is the first time I've spoken to you in the month I've been living here." 

"Well, you know, I was busy with the business I'm running -" 

"- that lawn mowing business you and Ricky got?" 

Is that what Ricky is calling it? "Yeah, we've had a lot of customers so I've been having to do a lot of bookwork to keep up with the business you know. But it's been busy, so I haven't had time to talk, but now I do and I want to get to know you." 

"You want to get to know me?" 

"That's what I just said isn't it?" 

"Well I'll tell you what Julian," You push the chair backwards in thought, looking up at the bright summer sky. The sun shines in your face, warming your skin. It's a nice feeling. "If you really want to get to know me, you'll come over for dinner tonight." 

Julian wasn't going to admit it but he was excited at the prospect of dinner. The last time he shared time - much less a meal - with a woman, she ended up stealing his dope plants and lying to him about being in love. In all fairness, most people would have been wary of someone saying I love you within the first week of getting to know them, but Julian (for the most part) was a hopeless romantic. He liked the idea of a life with someone else. 

Julian told himself that this was strictly business - that he was here to set the record straight. This wasn't get-to-know-you dinner, this wasn't a date. He was just here to let you know that he wasn't going to tolerate funny business. He just happened to be wearing his nicest clean black shirt and he just happened to be wearing one of his nicer pair of jeans - the ones that didn't have the holes in them. Julian knocks on your door. The two minutes he waits for you to answer feels like an eternity but when you open the door, he's glad he's waited. 

"You got a hot date you're going to after this?" 

"What, this?" You look down at the pink summer dress you're wearing, "This is casual." You had always been the more feminine type, enjoying softer clothes and pretty dresses. Plus, unlike jeans dresses were more comfortable. You usher him inside and he obliges, being careful to not spill his drink when he steps in. 

"Dinner is served." Dinner being a massive fucking bowl of macaroni and cheese with cheap ass hot dogs. "Sorry it's not exactly the best, but -"

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Julian sets his glass down. He's actually ecstatic. Macaroni and cheese and fucking hotdogs? "You know, I don't know where you're from but around here this is a five-star meal." 

You give a dry laugh. as Julian picks up his fork to eat. "You'll have to forgive me, I'm kind of new to the whole trailer park life and the whole being poor thing." 

"Oh yeah? Where are you from?" 

"Southern United States." 

"What state?" 

"Texas." 

"That's a long way from here, basically on the other side of the continent. Why'd you come up this way?" Julian tells himself that he's not trying to get to know you because he's interested in you - he's trying to get to know you to get dirt on you, to know what he's up against. 

"I needed an abortion." You answer dryly, "And even though it's been legal for some years now, no physician was wiling to perform one on me." 

"Why come to Nova Scotia? Why not just go to another state?" 

"Well, I figured things were just better here than they were there. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect by any means but it's better than where I was from. At least here I know if I need the service again, it's a little more reliably accessible. Plus, it's not like I had anywhere or anyone I could turn to. So I just kind of . . . stayed." 

"Heavy stuff." Julian sets down his fork, "Didn't have any family to turn to?" 

"No, and even if I did they're not the kind of people I'd want to be around." 

Julian could relate to that.

"So you just came to Canada for an abortion and then decided to stay? You know, when Americans come to Canada they want to go to Quebec. Nova Scotia isn't exactly on the top of the list, let alone Dartmouth. Let alone fucking Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Nobody just moves in here. Come on, (name) . . . what's the real reason why you're staying here?" 

Your mouth runs dry as you consider answering him honestly. "Well, uh . . . you know . . ." You twiddle your thumbs a bit, "I came to Canada with my passport and got my abortion and then . . . I just uh . . ." There's a long pause as your appetite disappears completely. "I didn't have anywhere to go to so I just . . . never left . . . this place was the only place that'd rent to an illegal resident . . ." 

"Holy fuck you don't have your papers?" Julian wasn't sure what kind of story he was expecting but it wasn't that. Now he feels like an asshole. "How did you get a job? How did you even afford this place?" 

"Well, I had some savings so that was a good cushion, but when that ran out I was able to find a job working as a waitress at that little restaurant just out of town. I'm not technically on the payroll, they just don't make me report my tips, and any extra money is kind of . . . earned under the table." You respond sheepishly.

God, Julian feels like such a fucking jackass for being a raging asshole to you. 

"That's . . . hard." Julian doesn't really know what else to say.

"Yeah." 

"Well, I've shared my deepest darkest secret with you. Do you want to share anything with me?" 

You and Julian talk well into the early hours of the morning, swapping life stories, funny anecdotes, and talking about all of the small things in between. Honestly, he feels at ease with you in a way he hasn't felt at ease before. The conversation flows naturally and even the silence you occasionally fall into feels comfortable. It's nearly two in the morning when you both look at the small clock hanging on your wall and realize the time.

". . . well, it's a little late . . ." You stretch in your chair, still sitting across the table from Julian. You don't really want him to go, but you've both run out of things to talk about and you still have some errands you have to run before work tomorrow. "You know, I have some things I gotta do tomorrow . . . but if you're feeling nice, maybe you can pay me back for dinner by making some for me. I'm usually too tired to cook when I get home . . . you know, only if you want to." 

It's hard for Julian to say no to that face.

"What time do you get off work?"

. . .

Julian continues to insist that he doesn't feel some kind of way, that he's just taking the opportunity to really get to know you - you know, in case you ever pose a threat - but the nightly dinner-dates seem to differ. 

"Why is it so hard to admit that you have a hard-on for (name)? It's so fucking obvious." 

"It's not like that Ricky. You know, I have somewhere to be so why don't you just fuck off and give me some fucking space?" 

"Oh yeah I know exactly where you want to be, all up in -" 

The truth of the matter was that even though Julian fantasized about it at night, truly nothing had happened. You were sweet, kind, intelligent, patient, compassionate - a truly wonderful person. And that was the problem. Normally, Julian found himself happy to jump into a relationship, but he found himself afraid of making a fool of himself. Guys like him didn't get with girls like you. Simple as that. Besides, love just wasn't in the cards for Julian. It just never worked out like that.

Tonight was yet another night of disappointment. You had lingered on Julian's doorstep after dinner, hoping that maybe he'd make a move and at least give you a kiss goodnight - but the two of you simply stood there awkwardly until he nodded, saying he was probably going to go off to bed now. It was frustrating because you thought you were sending all of the right signals. Light touches, flirtatious giggles, risque comments - the works. But yet again, you find yourself leaving empty-handed. It wasn't that you weren't satisfied with the friendship, you really liked the dynamic the two of you had. You liked that Julian showed you ways to save money, ways to spruce up the trailer home so it felt more roomy, showed you around town a bit - but it left you feeling a bit stupid because you could have sworn the two of you had something more. You could just feel it. But he never addressed it and it drove you crazy. 

You knock on the door nervously, your hands shaking.

Julian answers the door again. "What's going on?" 

"I don't want to go home just yet. This is about the time J-Roc films his adult films. Can I just sit here for thirty more minutes? He usually finishes up around one in the morning or so." 

"Uh, yeah, sure, come on in. You can hang out here. I have to shower because, you know, I got somewhere to be in the morning -" Tomorrow was the day he was supposed to drop off the product with the prison guards, "- normally I'd wait up but I got some important stuff I gotta take care of tomorrow. I'm about to get ready for bed, so you can just leave whenever you're ready."

"Alright." 

You find yourself sitting awkwardly on the couch as Julian disappears into the bathroom. The trailer shakes a bit when he turns on the water and you can hear the pipes rush before the water falls like rain into the tub. You sit in silence and contemplate. You couldn't keep going back and forth like this, it'd get nowhere. He had hinted a few times at maybe having feelings. Sometimes his hand would linger on the small of your back too long when he was moving past you, or he'd stand too close to you - so close your shoulders would touch - whenever he got the chance. But nothing would ever come of it, and you were tired of it. You think about maybe joining him in the shower but that's too ballsy of a move, so you simply sit there and listen to the shower run until it's turned off. There's more shuffling and you can hear him go into his room. The hallway light turns off and the door clicks close. You should probably get going by now, but you can't bring yourself to just leave.

. . .

You feel like a psychopath drifting down the hallway. You only came down here to use the bathroom, but now you were standing at his bedroom door - contemplating whether or not you should knock on the door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Ricky, is that you? I told you to stop picking my fucking lock -" 

"No," You answer meekly, "It's me. I uh, wanted to take that book back I lent you before I went home. I didn't see it in your living room so I figured you might be keeping it in here." 

Julian stares up at the ceiling in thought. Julian is pretty book-smart and it doesn't take a genius to know the game you're running. He's been down this road a thousand times. He wants to say yes, but there's still the lingering fear of ruining the good friendship that's already there.

Julian turns his head to look at his nightstand, the small paperback book sat there. Shit, maybe you weren't playing any games.

"Yeah, give me a moment, I'll come bring it to you." 

"You don't have to go through that trouble, I'll just come get it real quick . . . if that's alright with you." 

". . . that's alright with me." 

You gently push the door open, slipping through before gently closing the door behind you. You can only see the outline of Julian's body in the dark, a few shadows illuminated by the moonlight that drifts in through the blinds. 

"It's right over here." You see the shadow of Julian's hand reach over and grab the thick book. Infinite Jest.

"I'll come get it." You pull yourself up onto the bed, you're knees on either side of his feet. Gently, you shimmy your way up, crawling over him on your hands and knees. Julian shifts a bit. Both of your breaths are heavy and as you sit yourself comfortably on his waist, you watch his chest rise and fall with heavy breaths. Gently, you pluck the book from his hand. "Thank you." 

"You're welcome." Julian's voice is barely over a whisper.

You thumb through the thick book, landing on a page barely illuminated by the moonlight, reading the page you've thumbed to. "Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it." Truer words have never been spoken. Like everything in life, Julian has sunk his fingernails so deep into it he's drawn blood. He likes to pretend he can let things go, but he can't. 

Julian's hands gently grip at your hips, squeezing them softly - almost like he's afraid that if he squeezes too tight he'll hurt you. His fingers grip at your waist, gently pushing your hips backwards, guiding them in a gentle rocking motion against him. Your hips follow the movement of his hands, rocking against him with a pleased hum.

"Is that right?" Julian asks in a whisper.

"That's right." You respond gently.

"Me included?" He can't hope that you want him so bad that you'd sink your nails so deep into him that he'd never be able to leave you, even if he wanted to. And even if you wanted to leave him, he'd probably stay around and beg for you to take him back anyway.

"If you'll let me." 

If he wasn't rock hard before he's rock fucking hard now. "I want you." Julian's voice is hoarse, completely contradicting his typically firm and masculine present. He melts under you. Whether he wanted to believe it or not, Julian was a romantic and the touch of a woman he really valued meant a lot to him. His breath is labored as he guides your hips against him, "Please, I want you." 

If this were someone else in the park, it'd be a different story. Sleeping around with people in the park for Julian wasn't about emotions, it was about releasing a physical need, and when you can't keep a boyfriend sometimes you have to turn to your neighbors for some help. Everyone slept with everyone. But you're not them, this isn't just casual for Julian - he doesn't want to fuck it up. He shudders when your fingertips drag across his chest, tracing patterns and circles into his shirt as you rock against him, grinding your hips downwards to create more friction. You're a tease, you take your time, and he hates it but he loves it. Two large hands reach up to cup your breasts over your shirt gently, His hands trail downwards, over your abdomen, grabbing gently at your stomach for a short moment before finding themselves at the hem of your shirt. 

"What are you waiting for?" You ask him between small breaths, still making rhytmic riding motions. It's a softly-asked question but also a plea for action. "Please, Julian. I've wanted this since the moment I saw you." 

"God, fuck you're so fucking hot." It's like a flip switched in his head and he can't hold himself back anymore. Strong hands placed firmly on your hips flip you onto your back. Now he's on top of you, every part of him everywhere. His lips touch yours in a kiss, teeth pull at the skin of your neck, and tongue sooths the freshly bruised areas by rubbing itself on it in small circles. Like always, he can't help himself, and unlike recently, he stops wasting time.

Your shirt is the first thing to come off - Julian helps shimmy it off of you, throwing it to the side. The next thing to come off is your pajama pants, which he also tosses to the side after helping shimmy it off of you. He has half a mind to compliment the pretty color of your underwear and tell you it looks good on you, but he doesn't pay it any mind since it's about to come off anyways. His hands lift you up by the small of your back just long enough for him to unclasp your bra, letting you fall back down onto the bed. His hands hook underneath your knees, lifting them up and pushing your legs up so he can help slide your underwear easily off of your body. You're left naked under him while he remains fully clothed, lowering himself onto you before you can complain that he hasn't undressed yet.

His thumbs roll against your nipples, gently pinching and pulling at them before taking them into his mouth. Julian has never been the most gentle lover, especially when he gets excited, always eager to take matters into his own hands - but that's part of his appeal.

Kisses trail down your stomach, followed by him dragging his tongue along the skin, pushing your legs apart. He takes his time adorning your inner thighs with kisses, sucking on the skin and taking it between his teeth. He likes the way he makes you whimper and moan, it's intoxicating. But eventually the teasing becomes too much even for him, he's growing impatient, so he lends his tongue to you, circling it around your clit, strong nose pressed into sensitive skin.

Your body writhes as you feel a familiar pressure build in your abdomen, thighs tightening around his head so tight he thought he might suffocate. What a way to go that would be. Your fingers curl into his short hair, gripping and pulling at his hair while your toes curl. You whimper but that only encourages him to slowly push his thick index finger into you, followed by a second after you properly adjusted. His mouth and fingers work in tandem, his fingers curling and pressing inside of you in a come hither motion while his tongue continues to stroke your clit.

"Fuck, Julian, god, fuck -" But before you can climax, he's gone - pulling away. If Julian enjoys anything, it's edging. There's just something about bringing a woman to climax and leaving them nearly in tears that turns him on. 

"You look disappointed." Julian catches a glimpse of your lopsided frown illuminated in the moonlight, "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." His shirt is pulled over his head, exposing his bare chest. When you touch the muscle, it's firm from years of consistent working-out. You trace a tattoos that look like they were done with a sewing needle and ink - probably stick and poke tattoos - but Julian frowns. He doesn't like those tattoos, he's not proud of them and he's not proud of his time spent in jail. But you only offer him an encouraging smile and place your palm over the tattoo before dragging your hand down to his belt, pulling at the buckle. Julian offers you a half-hearted smile. "Can't wait?"

Julian pushes your hand out of the way gently, taking his time to unfasten his belt and slowly pulling it through the loops. The belt is tossed to the side, along with his pants and underwear, leaving you both equals. Two hands hook themselves underneath your knees, placing your ankles on his shoulders while he uses his right hand to stroke his cock a bit, helping to harden himself up more. Sometimes the nerves just get to you.

"Holy fuck Julian you're big, you gotta be careful with that thing you're carrying a whole fucking concealed weapon -" 

Julian chuckles a bit at the comment but presses a gentle kiss to your ankles. "I'll be careful with you if that's what you're trying to say." 

The tip is pushed in slowly with great discomfort, pushing himself in. There's a stiff moment of silence as you let out a labored breath. 

"You good?" he asks.

You nod, dragging your teeth over your bottom lip. Julian takes his thumb against your bottom lip, peeling it out from underneath your teeth. His thumb drags your bottom lip down, exposing the inside of it before pushing his thumb into your mouth. Your lips wrap around his thumb, letting your tongue slide against the skin, sucking on the appendage as he pulls out just a bit, repositioning himself before he thrusts back in. Your body pushes upwards with the motion, head pressing against the headboard slightly. His thumb is still pressed in your mouth while his free hand keeps hooked underneath your knee, pushing it backwards so he can angle himself better - each thrust pushing itself deeper inside of you. Sweat coats his chest and runs down the side of his face, abdomen flexing the closer he gets to coming, but he restrains himself - wanting to ride it out for as long as he could. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." 

"Oh, God, Julian -" 

"Fuck, (name)." 

"Julian -" 

"(Name), (Name), (Name)." 

"I heard you did a real good job of running that girl out of the trailer park last night, Julian." 

"Hey, Barbara, why don't you fuck off?" 

#julian tpb #tpb julian #tpb ricky #trailer park boys #tpb #ricky lafeur #julian x reader #julian x reader tpb #tpb bubbles #tpb ricky and julian #ricky tpb #julian x you tpb #trailer park boys reader insert #tpb reader insert

[simspaghetti]

🎶✨ When you get this, you have to write down 5 songs you actually listen to and post them. Then send this (ask or tag) to 10 cool people✨🎶

thank you for the tag @faelegacy 💕💕

i don’t normally do tag games (because i never know what to say or i notice them weeks too late in my inbox, sorry!! 😭😭) but i love sharing music so thanks for letting me ramble hehe

1. Mr Magic - Amy Winehouse

an amy winehouse song of course has to make an appearance on this list so why not put it at the top, i’ve had Mr Magic on repeat recently because the saxophone solos just makes my brain go brrrrr, they’re perfect - amy is probably my favourite artist of all time she was an abseloute legend </3

2. Pulaski at Night - Andrew Bird

i don’t know why i associate this song with summer / travelling? but i do! i went on a couple of flights last week and this is the song i always play when the plane takes off haha, it's a good one you should give it a listen!

3. Ghost Town - The Specials

getting ready for halloween / autumn coming soon and this definitely gives spooky vibes - i’ve had it on repeat all year though tbh, that synth just tickles me pickle

4. Time - Pink Floyd

this one is a bit melancholy and hits a liiiiittle too close to home with me going into my final year of uni soon, but i’ve had it on repeat recently anyway lol - i just love pink floyd, it was a toss up between this one and ‘shine on you crazy diamond’ to put on this list, generally i’m just such a sucker for a good guitar solo and i always have been 🫶

5. Cry Me A River - Julie London

cry me a river was heavily on my playlists this time last year but i’ve been starting to get obsessed with it again hehe - something about this song just wrenches at my gut it’s so good!

📧 i’m gonna tag: @sushiikinsss @llamabees @magiclabs @thepettymachine @nectar-cellar @ares-in-a-jar @frostedshore @kellysardinovich @neillesimstories @autonomousllama

of course, feel free to ignore this if you've already been tagged or don't want to do it! 💛

#replies #non sims #about me

[orange-artist]

WIP ask game!!

The rules:

Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as your have WIPs.

Oh, this looks really fun! Thanks for tagging me @where-does-the-heart-lie! 😊 I've been wanting to an ask game for a while.

So I'm a psychopath that does multiple sketches in one file so uhhhh

If they have multiple drawings in one it'll have a number range after it and you'll need to pick a number within the range 👍

Fair warning, a some of the file names are misnomers lol

Art:

hel me (1-6)

kobylu

koby doodles

envoir

temple_wip

sword

trollsssssssss (1-5)

trollsagain (1-3)

yonji comic2

doodles (1-5)

color spread

dodoles2 (1-4, 6-7) 5

WCTD

good yonji animatic_moonlight

asl valorant

Writing:

OP languages

kidlawlu mondern fic

osan modern AU

Good Yonji U

Cobylu

Why are there so many WIPs I don't know this many people

@nosongunsung11 @courfeyracs-swordcane @okiedoketm @moonelnone @katia-anyway @snailtiddies420 @cryptids-and-muses @themindoflore @charliethechandelure @artgbitzy @pseudopigeons

If you've been already tagged or you don't want to do it or you don't have any WIPs, just ignore me lol <3

#wip ask meme #orange asks

[thenexusofsouls]

Have you ever considered writing Quentin Beck? You write your muses so well and he wouldn't be the first antagonist you've written *points to Nuada*, besides the angst with Carter would be interesting. Like Quentin is one of those "diva" typa villains, he is so funny at times like why are u such a dramatic bitch. Ugh I hope he isn't rlly dead, he was a great villain. Hope your recovery is going well btw! ❤️

{i am the caretaker of souls} Going to answer this now even though I'm not back until next weekend because it mentioned surgery recovery... and because I can. XD My recovery is going well, thank you! I'm feeling much better than I did a week ago. Still not 100%, but getting better every day. I think given one more week I should be almost completely back to normal. =)

I haven't ever considered writing Quentin, no. Mostly because he's just not a character that speaks to me or that I know very well. He's interesting, don't get me wrong, but he's never gotten in my head and bugged me for weeks to write him like muses normally do, heh. Also, all I know of him is what was in the Spiderman movies, so... I don't have a lot to go on.

Also, I've read some of the asks and things from that verse where Carter dates Quentin (tagging @starcchild in on this in case she wants to weigh in at all), and I feel my portrayal might be biased because of that. What I mean is, I wouldn't necessarily have said he would have been abusive to Carter. Or maybe he would. But whatever opinion I would have formed on my own has already been made by that AU. Like in my head, he's abusive to her right out of the gate before I've even had a chance to develop my own interpretation of him. And whoever had been writing Quentin for those AUs, I don't want to steal from their interpretation, you know? It's just hard for me to be unbiased and create my own interpretation of him when I've already got that one in my mind.

I think he's got some obsessive personality traits, a bit of a short fuse, and his own personal setbacks have fueled an obsessive hatred of Tony Stark. I'm not sure whether Quentin would be classified as a psychopath, and some of the arrogant and narcissistic personality traits that psychopaths have are feeding into that? Like... he perceives Tony's lack of tact with regard to the intellectual property of others and Tony's lack of interest in him as a person to be targeted, deliberate, insulting, and unforgivable attacks against him, because how dare he, when really Tony's already moved onto the next stupid thing he said or did without putting that much thought into it. But that hyperfixation on the wrongs, slights, and injustices done to Quentin, the need to enact revenge to get justice for himself or to punish those who have wronged him in an I'll show you manner, and the willingness to put innocent people in danger due to a lack of empathy... are all traits of a psychopath, I think? I'm not a psychologist, but I do watch a lot of criminal psychology shows, lol. Also the need for attention, validation, and an audience is there, which I think is another psychopathic trait if I remember correctly.

Or, it could be that Quentin just has narcissistic personality disorder, which gives him an inflated ego and sense of self-worth. How could Tony not care about him? How could he steal from him? How could he toss him aside? In his mind he's so important that being ignored or shoved aside or treated like he personally doesn't matter is jarring enough to his sense of self that he has to go to extreme means to set the injustice right. He seems a bit immature, too, and that might feed into the me, myself, and I mentality of focusing so much on his own wants and needs and not on anyone else's.

With regard to Carter... The only way I could see Quentin even wanting to date her is to get back at Tony in yet another way. But I don't think he'd necessarily try to hurt her. At least not physically. Because his goal is to hurt Tony, not Carter. To hurt Tony, what's the worst thing he could do? Turn Carter against him. So I think Quentin would try to ingratiate himself to Carter and then gaslight her into believing her father is a terrible person in various ways. With, of course, the end goal in mind of her breaking off all contact with Tony of her own accord because she wants nothing more to do with him, which Quentin knows would mess Tony up pretty badly.

The question is... how seriously Quentin takes himself and how deluded he really is. Is it just that he's an arrogant asshole who wants to stick it to Tony for perceived injustices like stealing his research? In that case, I think he'd be even more insidious and manipulative to Carter because he knows Tony isn't as bad as he's making him out to be, it's just that he's angry and wanting to get revenge on him. So he'd know that he's lying to Carter and controlling the narrative surrounding her father to deliberately gaslight her.

Or... is it that Quentin is so delusional that he truly believes that, because Tony did these things to him, Tony is a terrible, dangerous, duplicitous human being? That means he's far more mentally impaired than knowing reality and choosing to manipulate it, because in this situation he's actually believing his own lies. In that case, if after he begins dating Carter he does develop any kind of feelings for her, he might actually believe he's protecting her from the terrible person that Tony is. He might believe that the gaslighting he's doing to her is just him honestly trying to help Carter by exposing her father for who he truly is. To open her eyes to the truth, as it were.

Personally, I don't think Quentin believes his own lies. I think he's just an immature, angry man who feels slighted by someone and holds grudges long and hard enough to never let it go. Whether that borders on psychopathic tendencies to want to obsessively plan and seek out the friends and family of someone you believed slighted you to enact your revenge or not, I'm not sure, but he definitely suffers from obsessive personality traits and an inflated ego. So I think he would know exactly what he's doing to Carter by lying to her about her dad, or inflating certain events to seem worse than they are, or generally trying to control her as far as what she thinks of Tony or when she sees him (depends on if it's a verse where Tony is alive or dead, I guess).

*shrugs* That's my two cents on Quentin and his relationship with Carter. He's never really been a muse for me, though. You're right, I don't mind writing villains. Nuada is definitely one, I would argue that Noah over on @tarnishedxknight can be considered one too. And I do write Ravenna from the same movies Eric and Freya are from, I've just never brought her to this site. It's more just that he's not a character that really spoke to me as far as me feeling compelled to write him.

#{ i am the caretaker of souls } ᵒᵒᶜ

[belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas]

Current Tag Game

I was tagged by @twig-tea, @telomeke and @dribs-and-drabbles. Thank you 😊

Current time: 13:15

Current activity: just finished bringing laundry inside and am now getting ready to watch shadow

Currently thinking about: what I need to do in the next few days and whether the weather will be good enough to go for a walk in the park with my brother and his family on Sunday.

Current favourite song: I always struggle to choose a favourite song, but Prisencolinensinaincuisol by Adriano Celentano has been stuck in my head for a while now 😂 I saw this song on my dash and I can't remember who recommended it, but it is just so much fun. The conceit being that it's almost completely nonsense, but sung in such a way that it sounds like English.

Currently reading: I've been ill for the alst few weeks and so I'm comfort reading English translations of Chinese webnovels that I've read before (they can't hurt if you know what's coming and they have a Happy EndingTM). I have just finished Global University Entrance Examination by Musili and am trying to decide between golden stage, sha po lang, and copper coins to read next. I'm also halfway through Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaasen but it requires brain power and emotional energy, so it's on hold for the moment.

Currently watching: I'm not actively watching much at the moment. I struggle to keep focused with weekly watches (my brain much prefers binge watching 🤷) and am also struggling to access a lot of shows at the moment due to moving countries. Luckily, I have no issue with spoilers, so I'm vicariously watching ALL the shows through Tumblr 😅 This week I finally caught up on Kiseki: Dear to Me, which is as excellent as everyone has been saying. I have an incredibly long to watch list but I think I'm going to start with Shadow and then finish I Feel You Linger in the Air this weekend.

Current favourite character: Of the currently airing and watching shows I really love Yai - his gentleness just makes me swoon. My all time favourite character though would have to be Miw from 3 Will be Free. She's sexy, confident, smart, knows what she wants and goes for it. I want to be her and I want to date her.

Current WIP: I don't post anything original lol although I do want to try and change that. One of my goals recently has to be more involved in the wonderful bl community here on tumblr and so I'm gathering my courage and inspiration to write something.

I'm tagging a few people from my recent notifications - as always, if you've been tagged already or don't want to do it, just ignore this! If you haven't been tagged and want to join in, take this as your invitation 😉 @vera9, @dreamedofyou, @sorry-bonebag, @theflagscene, and @axolola

#current tag game #This took way more than 15 minutes #Youtube

[nellasbookplanet]

I was tagged by the wonderful @kmackatie, thank you!

Last song/piece I listened to: not to sound like a huge killjoy, but I don't listen to all that much music lol. I can't really have music on in the background when writing/doing work where I need to think (too easily distracted) and when i do more mindless work i prefer to listen to audiobooks or podcasts over music. Mostly I listen to music while driving, but I can't stand commercials and my car doesn't have bluetooth so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Probably the last full song I listened to was the Critical Role opening theme, which feels on brand.

Last book I read: I just finished Max Gladstone's (one of the authors behind This is How You Lose the Time War!) Empress of Forever earlier today! A woman gets transported into the far future by a mysterious all-powerful space empress and must assemble a crew of misfits to fight her and get back home. It was a bit more episodic than I prefer, but overall a lot of fun with some Wild worldbuilding and good characters. Also, it's very gay, which is always a plus.

Last film I watched: I'm not sure actually? I tried watching The Witches of Eastwick a bit ago but dropped it. I'm planning to watch The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster (frankenstein retelling!) soon though!

Last TV series: I watched an episode of Resident Alien the other day (an alien has crash landed on Earth and is hiding in a small community as he tries to repair his spaceship. also he's planning to destroy Earth, but first he needs to survive Living Around People, and also he really wants to solve this murder and prove he's cooler than the town doctor while he's at it, he'll get around to the destruction later) and have yet to decide whether I'll continue watching it or not. I enjoy the premise and the characters but the humor doesn't entirely work for me.

Last thing I googled: something about archives for my masters. did you know there are so many different definitions of an archive. too many in fact. but also i'm about to invent a new one.

Last thing I ate: An apple lol. I had pasta for dinner though.

Sweet, Savory or Spicy: Probably savory. I love sweet stuff but mostly in dessert form, and while I enjoy a bit of spice my tolerance for when it stops being taste and starts being Pure Pain is pretty low.

Amount of sleep: never enough even with naps. Which reminds me I should start getting ready for bed 😔

Currently reading: Too many books. I just picked up Abbadon's Gate (part 3 of the Expanse series, space and horrific aliens and body horror my beloved). I'm also sporadically listening to The Wandering Inn (it is. very long. it's got some interesting things going on but I'm not a fan of the whole levelling concept, but I should've known that going in) and trying to read Jonathan Sim's Family Business (it's good I'm just bad at reading these days, I've been picking away at this book for weeks and it's very spooky). I'm also rereading Things That Gods Despise by dawl-and-dapple for bookbinding purposes, it's one of my favorite fics!

Not entirely sure how many have already done this thing yet, so if you've been double-tagged (or don't feel like it) feel free to ignore, but I'm tagging @mllekurtz, @aravhy and @howlsmovinglibrary!

#i do have a bad habit of picking up too many books at once #but a lot of my reading headspace goes into academic articles and stuff right now. (same with writing headspace) #anyway this was fun! i need to go to bed #rambles #hm. realizing i haven’t purposefully listened to a song in a while made me want to pick up my guitar

[justheretoship]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

tagged by @cloudiness (ty Giorgia 💙💙)

Favourite color: blue 💙

Currently reading: I’m reading LOTR, but I also finished a light novel a few days ago, and I'm also reading fanfictions and manga so... a lot of different stuff I guess 🙈

Last song: Deadly Drive by GRANRODEO (it's actually a Japanese song because I'm obsessed with Bungou Stray Dogs lately, including all openings and endings)

Last series: do anime count as well? If anime counts, Bungou Stray Dogs, if not Only Murders in the Building ~

Last movie: it's an anime movie of Sasaki to Miyano (including a bit with Hirano and Kagiura my beloveds 🥺)

Sweet/savory/spicy: sweet just for chocolate 👀

Currently working on: Learning a new language as a hobby counts? I guess that 🙈

Three ships: whoever thought three ships are enough is just downright evil

1. Destiel (Dean Winchester/Castiel from Supernatural). The finale of the show made me lose interest completely in anything Destiel related, I even stopped reading fanfictions about them, but I gotta put them in the list anyway because so many years I've spent obsessing over them. They used to be my OTP, don't think they still are, but they deserve to be here, I still love them even though it was mostly fanservice.

2. BakuDeku (Bakugou Katsuki and Midoriya Izuku from Boku no Hero Academia). Now, I admit, in the past I thought whoever shipped them was downright crazy. But here I am. One of them had such an amazing growth, which changed their relationship as well, and I just love that, I love the more a relationship change, and they're the epitome of that. From childhood friends, to enemies, to having to work together, to friends (and to more in fanfictions and in my silly mind). So yes, a fairly new ship all considered for me, but I already love it so so much.

3. Ineffable Husbands (Crowley and Aziraphale from Good Omens). Choosing a third is awful because I love so many ships, but they deserve it. They have so much bickering, just like an old married couple, and that is something I love a lot. Give me bickering and I'm in. Also all that happened in season 2, painful but so good, yes please, can't wait for season 3.

(Please forgive me for not including Lestappen but they would have been in my top 5 if this was a top 5 ships 😢)

First ship ever: ...so this is weird. Because I found out I basically unconsciously shipped Merthur when I was around 9 or 10 lol (I hated seeing Arthur with Gwen, especially kissing scenes, and instead loved all his scenes with Merlin). But my real first ship is probably NaruSasu, although my first fanfiction was about Goku and Vegeta (which is funny since I don't even ship them and I never have).

Currently craving: money, always money. With money I can have books and visit places so money (hopefully finding a job soon would be good enough too).

Tags: only do this if you want!! No pressure! And if you've already been tagged ignore me~

@il-predestinato @jussst-lurking @coffeecities @cupidskissx @redwoodghost @pressradio @maxemilianverstappen @blueballsracing @dreamingamongthestars

Also whoever is reading this and wants to, consider yourself tagged by me 🥰

#ty giorgia for the tag!! <3 #tag game #personal #aaahh the three ships question was so evil wth 😭